August 15, 2024 • 35 mins
What if the key to your child’s future financial success starts with their first allowance? Join Shay and Vanessa as they uncover the powerful ways parents can nurture financial literacy in their children right from the start. Drawing from personal experiences and timeless wisdom like Proverbs 22:6, they discuss how early lessons in money management can set kids on a path to becoming confident and responsible financial stewards.
Remember saving up for that must-have item in your youth? We take you on a nostalgic journey through childhood work experiences and the invaluable lessons they impart. Whether it’s babysitting, mowing lawns, or saving for a cherished Mickey Mouse Club jacket, we reveal how these early jobs teach kids about the value of hard work, setting financial goals, and the emotional highs and lows that come with them. We also emphasize the importance of parents modeling good financial behavior—because kids are always watching and learning.
We also discuss making financial education fun by exploring engaging ways to teach kids about money, from vacation planning and charitable giving to entrepreneurial activities like lemonade stands. These practical experiences not only educate but also create lasting memories. By involving children in financial discussions and decision-making, we equip them to feel valued and prepared for financial independence. Tune in and gather the tools you need to raise money-smart kids who appreciate the value of hard work and responsible money management.
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Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shay (00:03):
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange, LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing
saving and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Let's get started.
Shay (00:35):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's
Money.
How you doing, Vanessa?
I'm good, I'm good, I'm excitedto talk about raising money
smart kids, because we all needto play a part in financial,
personal finances and educationfor our children, right?
So I mean we all have a part.
So today we're going to betalking about nurturing
(00:57):
financial literacy from the verystart.
There is an often overlookedaspect of parenting I would say
very often teaching children tobe financially responsible from
a young age.
We should be empowering kidswith the financial knowledge to
set them up for a lifetime ofsmart money management.
So today we're going to offertips and insights on cultivating
(01:20):
financial awareness andresponsibility in your children,
or children that are in yourlife, ensuring they grow into
confident stewards of theirfinancial futures.
So Proverbs 22:6 states "tartchildren off the way they should
go, and even when they're old,they will not turn from it.
So yay, I mean, yeah, I can'tsay it any better.
(01:43):
That's a great verse.
Vanessa (01:44):
It is such a great verse and it's, you know, like
you said.
It's something that we all playa part in.
I know you have a daughter.
I don't have children, but it'sgoing to be fun to see our
different perspectives on thistoo, I think.
Shay (01:56):
Yeah, exactly, you know.
The scripture notes add on toProverbs 22 states that many
parents want to make all choicesfor their children but this
hurts them in the long run, andI hear that a lot from my
husband because I'm a helicopterparent or were.
So when parents teach a childhow to make decisions, they
don't have to watch every stepthey take.
(02:16):
They know their children willremain on the right path because
they have made the choicesthemselves.
So train your children tochoose the right way, and then,
when you're not here or whenyou're not with them, they know
which way to go.
So I think that was a great.
I love that scripture.
Vanessa (02:32):
Yeah Well, and it kind of sums things up too, and
that's something you know when Iwork with clients, and I know
you too, it's one of thoseconversations you have with
parents who just can't, you know, not do things for their kids
or pay for things.
Or you know, they they overgiveto their children because they
want their kids to have the verybest, and the heart is there
(02:53):
and you know, the reason isthere and I totally understand
that, but the reality of it isis when you set expectations for
kids when they're young and youteach them how to be
responsible with their money,you know one day you're not
going to be there.
I mean hopefully.
You know parents pass beforechildren.
It's supposed to happen thatway, so they're supposed to pass
(03:14):
down that wisdom to theirchildren so that they know what
they're supposed to do, and thenthose kids pass it down to
their children.
So, it's something, it's alegacy that you can leave and
you can teach your children, youknow something, versus just
giving to your kids, and thatmeans so much more, so much more
.
And where does this all start?
And you know, one thing thatparents can do is give their
(03:36):
kids an allowance.
I don't know if you ever hadone, shay, when you were growing
up.
Shay (03:41):
No, not really yeah.
Vanessa (03:44):
I grew up in a house we did not have an allowance, um,
but I will tell you, I was in, Ithink it was like third grade
All my friends got an allowance.
I begged and begged my motherfor an allowance.
So she was like, okay, if youwant an allowance, I will give
you an allowance, but you payfor everything you want out of
(04:05):
that allowance too.
And I was super excited becauseI had never had an allowance
before.
So she gives me $5 a week andout of that $5, I had to pay for
my school lunches.
I had to do anything extra thatI wanted to do and I think
lunches back then you know thisis of course dating me was like
75 cents a day.
(04:26):
So I really had nothing leftover and we did this for a week.
And then she said would youstill like to have an allowance?
And I said, no, ma'am.
Shay (04:38):
I think it just took a week.
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
I love that.
Vanessa (04:44):
But you know, giving your kids a hands-on experience
with money whether it's anallowance or not that is a
priceless gift to give yourchildren, Absolutely priceless,
and I'm sure you did this withyour daughter growing up.
Shay (04:58):
Oh, I did.
From three years old I wasteaching her about money and
this is way before I even knew Iwas going to be doing any of
what I'm doing now, and I justwanted her because I just felt
like I learned nothing growing.
I let me take that back, lordforgive me.
I learned a lot growing up.
I learned a lot of what not todo and we didn't have allowances
because I think I was pretty, Idon't know, I don't know.
(05:18):
I just had that intuition orintelligence or whatever.
I just knew, like seeing myfriends, like you experienced it
with the week of doing thatwith your mom that I didn't want
no allowance because that wouldcut back a significant amount
of stuff that I would be able toget.
And plus, I started working at13.
And even before I had anofficial job on the books at 13,
(05:39):
14, I was like dusting people'shouses at nine and 10, making
money and doing all kinds andbabysitting, and so I've been
making money for a very longtime.
So I knew that my parents would.
If I needed something, theywould.
If they had the money, theywould give it to me and a lot of
times they didn't have tofigure it out on my own, so I
learned that earlier on, butwith my child I didn't.
(05:59):
I when Alana was coming up, shewas born in 2000, they was all.
Vanessa (06:07):
There was a lot of reporting out there saying that
allowances were bad for children, and you remember that and so I
was like you shouldn't do that.
Shay (06:12):
It's teaching them the wrong way, they need to worry
and all that.
So we didn't really do that,but we did.
When she went to high school,we paid her up to a hundred
dollars per a, um for per a.
Yeah't ever get the full $100.
She never got the full amountbecause she wouldn't make really
great grades.
But just to try to motivate herto stay in school and not stay
(06:35):
she was going to be in schoolbut to motivate her to get
better grades, because mydaughter was so smart but she
didn't put the effort in, so wehad that.
But, yeah, teaching her fromthree or four or five in the
commissary, having her have alittle book and she write down
the cost of everything, andteaching her about what am I
using an ATM or a credit card,like every time she was around
(06:56):
me and I was using money, I wasteaching at the same time.
Vanessa (06:59):
Yeah, and that's priceless, absolutely,
absolutely.
I can remember going with mygrandparents to the bank at the
first of the month, every monthwhen I was same thing, three,
four years old, and they wouldtake out all the money they
needed for the month, and thenwe would go home and we'd sit at
the table and they did theenvelope system and everything
went into envelopes and I sawthem, you know, throughout the
(07:22):
month taking the envelopes out,using that money for what it was
intended for and then lookingat the end of the month to see
if they still needed to get, youknow, more money out for X, Y,
z, whatever it was, because theywould just pull less out the
next month and they would showme that's how you grow a savings
is by spending less than youmake, less than you make.
So I had these amazing examplesgrowing up to teach me that you
(07:46):
know you save for what you want.
You don't buy it until you canafford it.
It's okay to not have it, thatsometimes we have to do without
and it's okay.
Sometimes we can't have exactlywhat we want, but we can have
something similar that's just asgood, and we can use what we
have to impact the world aroundus too, and that's way more
priceless than than, you know,buying an outfit or, you know,
(08:10):
going on an expensive vacation.
So these are things that I wastaught as a kid and I always
thought if I had children, Iwould definitely start from day
one having them understand.
You know that money is a giftand there's so many things we
can do with that gift to makehumanity better.
Shay (08:27):
Exactly.
That's awesome, that's awesome.
Vanessa (08:30):
And you're still teaching.
Shay (08:31):
Through many.
You've had stepchildren andyour cousins and friends and
family.
So there's always, even if youdon't have your own biological
kid, there's kids in your lifethat you should be teaching your
(08:51):
parents too I mean most kids,especially when they become
teenagers.
They don't want anything to dowith their parents.
Vanessa (08:54):
They don't they don't listen to us.
But you know I have a 16 yearold niece and I can be the cool
aunt who also shows her thatit's okay to save.
And you know you can't haveeverything you want every day
because mom and dad are buyingand that's going to end real
soon.
So you can always be thatexample in other areas as well.
A hundred percent agree withyou, but you know we should
(09:14):
always be teaching childrenfinancial decision making, and
that's something that you know.
I was fortunate as well growingup with the ability to make
some decisions with money orlearn the processes of making
decisions, because it was always.
It's okay if you like nicethings, but you can't have
everything.
You know, you have to makechoices and when you decide what
(09:37):
you want and that's what youstick with sorry, it's gone and
they wouldn't give in at thatpoint, which was a good thing.
So you know, there were allthese things that were taught,
and I'm sure you did that withAlana too.
Shay (09:50):
I did.
I, you know.
I taught her about savingsbecause it always go back to me.
Nobody taught me to you knowwell, shay, you're making this
money through all the jobs I'vehad since 13, 14, even before
that to put some money aside forsomething, cause I remember I
don't know where I was working,it might've been Hardee's or
whatever had a lot of jobs andit was in high school, maybe my
last year of high school and Isaved like $400, which was
(10:11):
really cool back then.
That's a lot of money back thento me especially if you're like
17, 18.
I spent all of my money in oneshopping trip at Columbia Mall
like nothing but clothes andshoes, and when I think back to
it I'm like whoa, that was sostupid.
But you know, nobody taught meto put 10% aside.
Or you know you're going to goto school for the rest of the
(10:32):
year.
You know you're going to wantfood.
You want money for specialevents or entertainment or
whatever.
So that's what I was teachingAlana Like, yeah, you might want
to buy clothes for the upcomingyear, whether it's high school,
college, whatever but you alsowant to do other activities, so
you should.
You want to go to a footballgame, you want to whatever,
whatever game, you want towhatever, whatever, and so you
should be putting money insidefor that and saving.
And of course, you know givingand we're going to talk about
(10:53):
that a little later but you know, yeah, I taught her that, but
nobody taught me that.
So I had, I was self-taughtbasically.
Vanessa (11:12):
Well, at least you learned that's the good part you
learned and then you were ableto pass it on too.
I remember and I think a lot ofthis too.
People think this is like ahard lesson and it's boring and
all these things, but it can bereally fun to teach kids about
money and financial decisionmaking.
We used to play this game inthe car.
When we would go places, my momwould give me a notebook and
like a pencil and she would say,okay, somebody just gave you a
thousand dollars, spend it, youknow.
And we would sit and we wouldtalk about what we could buy for
(11:33):
that amount and what we coulddo and you know how much it
would cost for this.
And it was all about like doingsomething for ourselves but
also doing something for others.
Or you know how much a housewould cost, and if we wanted to
buy a house for you know mygrandparents and you know
sometimes it would be smallamounts.
And then sometimes it was we wonthe lottery, but you have to
(11:53):
spend it all by tomorrow.
You know, and it's fun to seethe prices of things and the
costs of things and to learnthat you know I can either have
three smaller houses for all ofmy family or buy this one
mansion if I won the lottery.
So it teaches kids that youknow things do cost different
prices.
All houses are not the sameprice, which a lot of you know.
(12:15):
Kids don't know that.
They don't understand that.
So it's fun to teach thesethings and for them to to start
understanding, because then yousee it click with them and you
know you had a hand in that.
Shay (12:27):
Yeah, that's really cool.
Vanessa (12:28):
Really cool, yeah, and then we can help them understand
the true value of money and theeffort that it takes to get the
money.
Shay (12:36):
Yeah, there's a lot of effort that goes into it and
it's just not overnight you'regoing to be a millionaire and
it's like a lot of hard workgoes into whatever you're trying
to accomplish in life.
But even learning aboutpersonal finances, you're not
going to learn about it in a day.
Vanessa (12:56):
It's going to take you a few months, years time, you
know to learn about it, andthat's okay and just gotta be
patient, yeah, right, and youcan show kids or give them money
and say this is what you getfor the week, but they don't
understand what you have to doto get that money and how long
it takes you to work for thatmoney until that's taught to
them.
Yeah, they do not understand thevalue of $100 or the value of
$500 or the value of $2.
It's just, mom gives me thismoney and I'm going to go spend
(13:16):
it and do what I want, becausethere's always more of it for a
lot of kids and a lot of houses.
But if they understood what ittook for you to get there and
that you have other prioritiesby paying your mortgage and
paying for the car and gas toget them to school, that those
things have to be taken care offirst and that's the true value
of things and you can have this,but you can't have that because
(13:39):
we can't afford it.
Those are priceless lessons toteach kids.
Shay (13:44):
And you can start at very, very young ages, very young
ages, and that's why allowancesshould be, I think, after, in
the early 2000s, like it's badfor kids, but then later on it's
like it's not.
As long as you attach it tosomething, it shouldn't just be
given.
You know you're already havingyour basic needs taken care of,
and most, not most, in a lot ofhouseholds some households there
aren't.
But you should be doing somekind of chores or you know
(14:07):
working, going to work and do anextra chore in a yard, go
washing the car.
Something should be attached toit.
It shouldn't just be anautomatic give allowance but no,
you're going to make goodgrades, you're going to do this,
you're going to do that, andthat makes makes you have to
earn it.
That's what I'm trying to sayExactly.
(14:27):
And I think that's somethingthat that they were saying back
then too is money shouldn't justbe given they?
Vanessa (14:30):
need to understand what it takes to get that money.
I know when I was little my momhad a steakhouse and she would
pay me for going in the back andwrapping baked potatoes.
That's when they would.
You'd go in the back, you wouldget these big trays of potatoes
that had just been washed andyou would wrap them in foil and
she'd pay me a penny a potato,oh my God.
And I would sit back there forhours wrapping potatoes,
(14:53):
wrapping potatoes, because,honestly, any potatoes pretty
good back then, you know, forwrapping these things.
But you know I got excitedbecause I was making money that
I could use on fun things.
And I mean gosh, I was four andfive years old doing this.
You know child labor laws, butyou know it was.
It was one of those things Iwas proud of myself for working
(15:15):
and earning.
And kids, they, they want that.
They want to feel important anduseful.
And this is another way to dothat with them, exactly, yeah.
And then we can learn goalsetting with our children and
teach them that we can show themthat if there's something that
we want, we have to work our wayup to it and earn and save.
(15:37):
And it teaches kids patience,it teaches them about delayed
gratification and it shows themthat you know the value of that
item has to be worth it to themfor that.
You know, is there anything yousaved up for that was really
big when you were younger?
Shay (15:53):
The clothes.
It was always about how youlook back in the day.
You know you're growing up.
You just got to show out, yougot to look good.
You know I grew up like thebeing in Germany during the big
rise of hip hop.
It was funny like they likesaved these 80s, but even then,
like the 80s, 90s hip hop washuge for us and so we were
trying to look like.
Then, like the 80s, 90s, hip-hopwas huge for us and so we were
(16:14):
trying to look like and it wasfunny, I didn't realize it until
recently we were trying to looklike all the people from so, so
deaf and freaking Atlanta,right, so we had.
We had the boots, we had mypeople, oh my god, your people.
Man crisscross me and all that.
I mean all that.
We were wearing, all that, thecross colors, like we were
wearing pants backwards we hadthe high-tech boots, like we did
it all.
So I was saving for the jerseys,I was saving for the starter
(16:37):
jackets, like that's what I wassaving for, and it's funny
because I was saving for it andbuying my own.
My mom was buying it for mybrother, which I was like I
didn't understand that, but uh,yes, that was the thing.
That is exactly my life, I getit so that's why it was always
about the clothes when I wasgrowing up, cause I wasn't.
You know, you're in Germany,you don't really drive, you just
(16:57):
took the train everywhere walkeverywhere, yeah, and when I got
back here I mean, yeah, so itwas about food and clothes and
entertainment going to movies,going bowling, going skating
Like I was saving for all, orthat's what I was using the
money for.
I wasn't saving nothing, orthat's what I was using the
money for I wasn't savingnothing, I was just using the
money for that stuff and thenlater I was like, oh, I need a
(17:19):
lot of safe.
Vanessa (17:20):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, I was so dorky back then.
Like I was so dorky, I mean I'mstill dorky now.
But whatever.
So I I worked since I was 11 aswell, and you know I babysat and
I did all this stuff.
But I got my first job when Iwas able to get my work permit
at 15, you know that was thething.
But before that I worked for myparents too, cause they had
businesses, and you know I wouldtear tickets at the movie
(17:41):
theater and I would, you know,sell popcorn and I would do
those kinds of I would clean thetheater or the bathrooms, that
kind of thing.
But in my house that was whatprovided for us, so you didn't
get paid because it was takingcare of us and we were part of
the family, and you know it wasnot something that I should get
paid for, because it's payingfor all these other things which
I totally understood.
But that's something too is tolet kids be a part of that
(18:04):
process too as well, to see that.
You know it takes a lot ofeffort to to pay your bills at
home.
But when I was 13, I was a hugedork and I was really into the
Mickey Mouse Club and they allwere these super cool like
Letterman jackets, yeah, and Ireally wanted one, and the only
place you could get them backthen was actually going to I
(18:28):
think it was the Grand FloridianResort.
Shay (18:30):
Oh, wow In.
Vanessa (18:31):
Walt Disney World.
Shay (18:32):
Yeah.
Vanessa (18:32):
And we were going to disney like that next year and I
saved up.
It was like almost 400 for thisjacket, that's still a lot of
money today it was a ton ofmoney.
It was a ton of money and Isaved and I saved and I saved
and I babysat and I cleaned andI did all.
I would clean rental housesthat my parents had like for
extra money back then too.
Whatever I need to do do, I wasgoing to do.
(18:53):
It Bought this jacket.
I was so proud of this thing,and then I wear it to school the
first day and I get made fun ofand I don't ever wear it again.
Shay (19:01):
Are you serious?
That's crazy.
Vanessa (19:09):
Was this the time that Justin Timberlake, christy
Aguilera and Britney Spearsweren't they all in the Mickey
jacket?
They were, yes, they were.
It was their first year in.
Shay (19:13):
Oh, wow, because you're giving me Christina Aguilera
vibes right now with the color.
Vanessa (19:16):
So I was like I see that with that.
Shay (19:18):
She's gorgeous, You're gorgeous, oh my God.
But oh my God, they made fun ofyou with a $400 jacket.
Vanessa (19:23):
They made fun of me.
Shay (19:29):
That's crazy.
I mean, it was like can youafford a $400 jacket?
I don't think so, so go wear.
Vanessa (19:34):
But I was, oh, I was so sad and I think that thing
literally was in my closet untilthen, and now my boyfriend's
trying to sell it for me on eBay.
Shay (19:42):
Oh, hopefully you can make a lot of money off of that
jacket.
Vanessa (19:47):
Well, it's been on there for a long time with
nothing, so nobody.
I guess everybody's making funof my jacket, but hey, that's
cool.
But you know, it taught me tosave for things that I really
wanted.
And it was exciting to go andspend my money and buy this
thing I really wanted.
Shay (20:00):
Yeah.
Vanessa (20:01):
That's really cool I love that story.
Shay (20:04):
You know, I hate that you end up getting made fun of but
hey it taught you somethingright.
You know, and I mean lead it byexample, I mean going to that
model in that financial behavior.
You know budgeting, saving andavoiding death.
You know teaching your kidsthat is important, you know.
But they need to see us parents, you parent, to figures,
(20:25):
whoever adults period budgetingwe need.
I mean, I always say this weneed to make talking about money
fighting sexy, because I'm sosick of people be like I can't
tell you how much I made.
Uh, I'm too scared I got shameor I got guilt.
I know all that's real.
But like, push it to a side andbe like, yes, I don't budget,
how do I budget?
Or, yes, I do budget and thisis what I love.
I don't save.
Yes, I need to learn how to say, oh, I do know how to save.
(20:46):
Like, let me teach you this man, I got a lot of debt and I need
some help.
Call Crusaders for Change.
Or, yeah, I don't have any debtbecause I was sacrificing.
I saw something I wanted.
It took me a year, two years,it took me 10 years to go to
Hawaii, but I saved for it, youknow.
So, like, trying to teach theseand model that as financial
(21:06):
behavior is key.
I mean modeling just goodbehavior period is great, but
also financial behavior.
Right right modeling just goodbehavior period is great, but
also financial behavior right,right.
Vanessa (21:13):
And they say with kids, 80 of what they learn is what
they see and 20 is what theywhat they're taught.
So if you're not doing it inyour household and you know
other adults around them are notdoing it, they're not going to
learn it.
Even if they see it, they'renot going to know the importance
of it unless you're doing ittoo exactly so if you want your
children to be financiallyresponsible, you have to be
(21:33):
responsible as well.
Shay (21:35):
Exactly and discuss real life expenses.
Don't keep this stuff on lock.
People explain groceries,utilities, housing to them.
Sit them down Like I know mydaughter finally got like a real
, real reality when she myhusband's like oh, you've been
out of college six months, youneed to pay rent.
So I wrote down in her at leastagreement like all the bills
that we pay for.
And she's like whoa, I'm like,yeah, but I kind of I've
(21:56):
throughout the years I've toldher, yeah, that's how much
insurance costs is how muchgross.
She knew how much grocery costsbecause she was figuring out
how much it cost when she was alittle girl.
So, seeing how much it comesfor the car and all these, the
college, you know like don'thold this stuff back.
I don't know why people do that.
Like tell people the realitylike this is expensive.
Vanessa (22:14):
Yeah, and you wonder why.
You know kids become, you know,young adults and they're
delusional about theirexpectations.
You know, because they don'tunderstand that you're not going
to get your first job and makeyou know, $400,000 a year, like
that's just probably not goingto happen.
I'm sure some people do, butthat's not the reality for most
people and you know and I readsomething recently that young
(22:38):
people now are saying to becomfortable in life they need
like 286,000 per year as asalary.
Shay (22:46):
I don't know.
I only know like one or twopeople that make that.
Vanessa (22:48):
So like, really that's not how it works the average
person in America makes lessthan 60.
Shay (22:53):
I think they make 30.
Vanessa (22:54):
Exactly Something like that Exactly, so they don't
understand what salaries arenumber one compared to what our
needs are and what things cost.
So that's all important to teachtoo, because that will help
them make a career choice basedoff of you know what they can
afford.
Or they know ahead of time thatI'm not going to make a lot of
money, so I need to have youknow lower expectations for what
(23:16):
I can afford.
Or you know it's okay becauseit's something I love.
And people are all the time weare so willing to to give up
something for something we want,and that's perfectly fine.
But as long as you know and youcan show them this is what life
will be like, and it'sperfectly okay and fine if
that's what you want, but justknow what it's really going to
(23:36):
be like what it's going toreally be like exactly and, like
vanessa said earlier, herparents I think you said your
grandparents, or somebody tookyou to the bank, right, my
grandparents, yeah.
Shay (23:44):
So take them to the bank, teach them about savings,
checking, interest.
I give my parents that well,and I think it was because they
had to.
So when I got my first jobworking for the military and it
was a summer hire program my dadhad to take me to the local
credit union or whatever ingermany and open up an account.
But, um, yeah, they should, youshould.
And I opened up an account Ithink a lot of before she was
even born, or right when she wasborn, like, and started saving
(24:05):
for her.
And I always say that, shoot mydog.
Before I even got a dog, we hada savings named titan.
Before we even knew we had aTitan.
So like that's how you need toteach your kids about the
banking, because they're goingto need bank accounts.
And now you got to add on tothat all of the I was just
hearing about it all, like thecash app and Venmo there's a
name for personal pay, somethingsystems, like there's a lot
(24:28):
more.
We got to be teaching our kids.
And now you got Zelle and oh myGod, it's a list of so long.
So teaching them about all ofthat is key and tell them how
you use it, like this is how Iuse a credit card, my savings,
my checking, this is interest.
This is, you know, all thatgood stuff.
Vanessa (24:42):
It's so important and and I know certain things are
not being used anymore, but theyat least need to know that
they're around, so they knowthat there are other options out
there too, and know whichoptions are the best for them
and what they're going to bedoing and how to utilize the
most from them.
And you know what they can get,as you know interest rates for
different savings accounts thatyou know they can actually make
(25:03):
money with money sitting there.
I mean that's the coolest thingever, right?
Just like let your money sitthere and you get money for it.
So there's all kinds of thingswe can teach our kids and let
them be a part of, and I thinkit makes them feel more a member
of the family.
They feel valued as well,because you know they're really
being talked to as an adult withthese things and trusted with
(25:26):
this information, and it canreally help with that bond too.
Shay (25:30):
It really can.
And just like you're saying,showing them the value of
comparison shopping, whetherit's store brand versus name
brand, or this bank offers thisinterest rate and this bank or
credit union offers this, orwhatever it may be, you know,
don't go with your first options.
Always say, or at least makesure you do enough research
before you make your decision.
So you might go with your firstoption, but it's after you've
(25:50):
looked at many other otheroptions.
Done that, comparison shoppingand being able to save on a
store brand versus a name brandis key, like you know, even with
medicine.
Other day I was, yesterday Iwas in wegmans looking for some
iron for alana and alana's likegive me nature's made iron.
They didn't have that, but theyhad.
Wegmans had their brand of ironand she's like that's exactly
the same thing, exactly so.
So you know, look at theingredients.
Vanessa (26:12):
A lot of times now even the the stores be like compared
to you know same ingredientscheaper, buy the cheaper one
yeah, well, and then think aboutthe money you saved yeah you
can use that for or save it for,or you know, maybe you couldn't
afford all the groceries thatyou needed for the household,
but if you do buy the off brands, you can get everything exactly
(26:32):
plus something fun for the youknow.
So there's all kinds of waysyou can teach your kids to be
mindful, and I think that's whatthis just comes down to is to
be educated and be mindful.
How can we do this as a family?
That's a big thing too, likewhat are some things we can do
as a family to kind of make itfun?
(26:53):
I know a lot of families theylike to set a family savings
goal and they plan somethingtogether, they talk about it,
they come up with an idea and asa family, they start saving,
and I think it's a great way toshow your kids you know that you
can have this, but we have tomake sacrifices along the way to
get what we want, you know.
(27:19):
And then they're a part of ittoo and they get excited.
And then sometimes kids arehappy to give up you know,
mcdonald's after school becausethey can put that money towards
the trip to Disney World in twoyears or whatever.
That is on a decision like thatand there's something amazing
at the end waiting for them.
They're going to learn at anearly age that yeah, I can do
(27:40):
this, I can give up certainthings because I really want
something else even more, and itreally shows them that they
have this power inside of themand it's all up to them.
Shay (27:47):
That is so true.
My daughter has always beeninvolved in our, from the time
that she was young.
Our, our vacation, our familyvacation, starting with disney
world, or even before that, justlocal trips or whatever we were
doing.
And so now she's 23 and she'spreparing to uh, planning for
her.
She uh parks, uh with our, withmy nieces and nephews, with our
(28:09):
cousins.
So she's been bugging me likeevery other day because she's
planning, and so she was talkingto her cousins during texting
with them.
She's like mom, they don't.
Or she calls me mother, mother,they don't understand the cost
of of anything she's like.
These kids don't get it becauseshe's she's telling them.
Like the cost of the tickets,we can use the military
(28:29):
discounts the cost of the foodand parking.
And one of the her cousins youmet, Layla, was like we can just
not eat for the day.
It's like just trying to savesome money Because they don't
understand.
Like no, we got to eat y'all.
We're going to be in this parkfor 8 to 12 hours, so we're
going to have to budget that in.
So Alana's put together abudget.
She's supposed to be it to herfan her vacation with her
(28:55):
cousins and future partner andfriends and so, yeah, it's very
important to do it.
Vanessa (29:00):
That's amazing to see because you do pass that down,
and then at some point you cantotally pass it down to her and
she can be the planner and youjust show up, just show up?
Shay (29:09):
oh, that's exactly.
And then she paid for it too,girl.
Vanessa (29:13):
Exactly, Exactly.
We used to do this, this thing,in the summer.
So we would go to the beach alot during the summer growing up
, and because my parents wereself-employed, we would have
afterschool programs and summerprograms want to come to the
movie theater, you know, duringbreaks and they would come and
watch whatever movie was playing.
And they would do and watchwhatever movie was playing and
(29:34):
my parents would do the speciallittle deal for them.
So that was the money we woulduse for vacations.
It was extra money, it wasmoney that we worked for.
But I remember having to get upearly in the morning.
I mean I was probably gosh likeseven, eight, nine, and I would
have to go pop popcorn and makelittle bags of popcorn for
these other kids that got tocome to the movies, you know,
(29:55):
and I would make drinks and Iwould get everything set up so
that when they came through theyjust grabbed and would go.
But it was worth it because weall worked as a team to get to
go on this trip and it was a lotof fun, you know, to do that
with my parents growing up.
So I think you can make reallygood memories as a kid too, with
all these things and it reallygives you something to remember
(30:17):
later on.
You know something else that Iwas taught young is charitable
giving and you can donate yourtime together as a family,
encourage tithing, and a lot ofkids get really excited about
this, about being able to helpsomeone else.
Shay (30:33):
Yeah, I remember, because we grew up in a Catholic church,
so of course you know it's anhour of boring church.
Vanessa (30:38):
lord, forgive me but I don't know if catholic churches
are like that anymore.
Shay (30:42):
But yeah, we would have, like you, got to make sure you
have your money to put in thetithing you know the little tin
coming around but yeah, um, butyeah.
It's definitely teaching mychild that you know you need to
donate to.
You know god and your churchand others and yourself as well,
um, but in that order.
It's important and can be funas well exactly I remember going
(31:03):
.
Vanessa (31:03):
I went to church with my grandparents and every um
every year all the members ofthe church would get this little
box that had these littleenvelopes in it and it would
have their name on it and it wasfor tithing throughout the year
.
So you had your tithingenvelopes and I remember I would
gosh.
I was little.
I remember one year mygrandparents made sure I got my
(31:24):
own box of little envelopes andI cannot tell you how excited I
was to have this silly littlebox of envelopes yeah, I used to
get them from some of mychurches, yeah, and.
I was so excited because I feltlike a grownup because I got to
fill out my little envelope andI got to put my money in it and
I got to put it in the offeringplate on Sundays and it made me
(31:45):
feel like so good doingsomething for someone else.
And I was proudly giving upother things.
You know like my grandpa wouldtake me to get gummies once a
week on Wednesdays and I, youknow I'd save some of that gummy
money and I would put that inmy tithing envelope.
But I was happy to do thatbecause I knew it was helping
somebody else.
(32:05):
So I think, kids, they get alot out of this and it really
teaches them to be good peoplewhen it comes down to it, you
know, and then you can also playsome financial games.
That's a fun thing too.
I mean, just like the game Ibrought up earlier about my mom
saying this is how much money wehave now spend it.
You know, really, show kids,this is what you can do with
(32:25):
what you have.
It can be so fun.
So, fun to have thoseconversations and to see you
know their, their minds workingand really kind of going through
things and being like, well, Iwouldn't have done it that way,
but hey, if that's the way youwant to do it, that's amazing.
You know it works, but they canget creative.
So, yeah, play games with themand teach them these things, and
(32:48):
you can always encourageentrepreneurship.
You know, if they really wantsomething, help them start a
lemonade stand.
You know, show them how tocreate some flyers so they can
cut grass around theneighborhood.
You know, teach them a skillset so that they know what
they're doing and they can getout there and market their
(33:08):
services.
I know my cousin has five kidsand they go to this Christian
camp every year but they havetheir children pay for half the
camp and their kids come up witha way to make the money.
And the last four or five years, the girls have done bread
baking and they advertise onFacebook and they bake bread and
(33:30):
it's amazing bread, by the wayand they sell these loaves of
bread and it pays for their camp.
Oh, I love that, yeah, yeah,and it's something that we get
excited about because it's sogood, but it's also something
that teaches them a skill andteaches them how to you know to
be a business owner and how toyou know talk to people and how
to make change and to sell, andit teaches all these skills, but
(33:55):
in the cell.
Shay (33:56):
And it teaches all these skills, but they're learning so
much and they're gaining thistime with their family too.
I love that.
On our neighborhood app they alot of people went during the
summer or when the college isgiving a kid graduates college.
You're like my kid's lookingfor work or whether it's doing
the grass or you need some.
You know people who make up orhair.
You know all these differentwalk.
Your dog is a big one, you know, so our pets sit um, so there's
, you know.
(34:16):
It's cool that the parents Imean she should be the kids on
them apps doing that agree, butthe parents are like I need to
find this guy or this girl orwhoever them something uh to do
during the summer but also makesome money.
So I love that the parents arepushing that out through the
apps, social media and stufflike that trying or you see the
flyers around the neighborhood,so that's really awesome.
So there's always a kid tryingto cut grass or bait food and
(34:39):
walk a dog, right, oh, man.
Well, any final thoughts?
That was amazing.
It was a longer episode, butbecause we want to talk about
these kiddos, man, it's a lot totalk about.
Vanessa (34:50):
There's so much.
I would just say you knowwherever you are in life and if
you have kids or not, just be anexample, because they're
watching yeah, got it and that'swhat he wants us to be an
example and follow the goldenrule and treat others as they
should.
Shay (35:05):
You want to be treated and yeah, and you want your kids to
succeed.
You should be trying to dowhatever you need to do.
They can make them succeed but,lead by example.
So all right.
Well, thank you for joining usfor another episode.
I hope all is well and we'llsee you soon.
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
(35:26):
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast and please
feel free to leave us a review.
Vanessa (35:36):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at Crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired.
Shay (35:50):
And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange, LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing
saving and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Let's get started.
Shay (00:35):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's
Money.
How you doing, Vanessa?
I'm good, I'm good, I'm excitedto talk about raising money
smart kids, because we all needto play a part in financial,
personal finances and educationfor our children, right?
So I mean we all have a part.
So today we're going to betalking about nurturing
(00:57):
financial literacy from the verystart.
There is an often overlookedaspect of parenting I would say
very often teaching children tobe financially responsible from
a young age.
We should be empowering kidswith the financial knowledge to
set them up for a lifetime ofsmart money management.
So today we're going to offertips and insights on cultivating
(01:20):
financial awareness andresponsibility in your children,
or children that are in yourlife, ensuring they grow into
confident stewards of theirfinancial futures.
So Proverbs 22:6 states "tartchildren off the way they should
go, and even when they're old,they will not turn from it.
So yay, I mean, yeah, I can'tsay it any better.
(01:43):
That's a great verse.
Vanessa (01:44):
It is such a great verse and it's, you know, like
you said.
It's something that we all playa part in.
I know you have a daughter.
I don't have children, but it'sgoing to be fun to see our
different perspectives on thistoo, I think.
Shay (01:56):
Yeah, exactly, you know.
The scripture notes add on toProverbs 22 states that many
parents want to make all choicesfor their children but this
hurts them in the long run, andI hear that a lot from my
husband because I'm a helicopterparent or were.
So when parents teach a childhow to make decisions, they
don't have to watch every stepthey take.
(02:16):
They know their children willremain on the right path because
they have made the choicesthemselves.
So train your children tochoose the right way, and then,
when you're not here or whenyou're not with them, they know
which way to go.
So I think that was a great.
I love that scripture.
Vanessa (02:32):
Yeah Well, and it kind of sums things up too, and
that's something you know when Iwork with clients, and I know
you too, it's one of thoseconversations you have with
parents who just can't, you know, not do things for their kids
or pay for things.
Or you know, they they overgiveto their children because they
want their kids to have the verybest, and the heart is there
(02:53):
and you know, the reason isthere and I totally understand
that, but the reality of it isis when you set expectations for
kids when they're young and youteach them how to be
responsible with their money,you know one day you're not
going to be there.
I mean hopefully.
You know parents pass beforechildren.
It's supposed to happen thatway, so they're supposed to pass
(03:14):
down that wisdom to theirchildren so that they know what
they're supposed to do, and thenthose kids pass it down to
their children.
So, it's something, it's alegacy that you can leave and
you can teach your children, youknow something, versus just
giving to your kids, and thatmeans so much more, so much more
.
And where does this all start?
And you know, one thing thatparents can do is give their
(03:36):
kids an allowance.
I don't know if you ever hadone, shay, when you were growing
up.
Shay (03:41):
No, not really yeah.
Vanessa (03:44):
I grew up in a house we did not have an allowance, um,
but I will tell you, I was in, Ithink it was like third grade
All my friends got an allowance.
I begged and begged my motherfor an allowance.
So she was like, okay, if youwant an allowance, I will give
you an allowance, but you payfor everything you want out of
(04:05):
that allowance too.
And I was super excited becauseI had never had an allowance
before.
So she gives me $5 a week andout of that $5, I had to pay for
my school lunches.
I had to do anything extra thatI wanted to do and I think
lunches back then you know thisis of course dating me was like
75 cents a day.
(04:26):
So I really had nothing leftover and we did this for a week.
And then she said would youstill like to have an allowance?
And I said, no, ma'am.
Shay (04:38):
I think it just took a week.
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
I love that.
Vanessa (04:44):
But you know, giving your kids a hands-on experience
with money whether it's anallowance or not that is a
priceless gift to give yourchildren, Absolutely priceless,
and I'm sure you did this withyour daughter growing up.
Shay (04:58):
Oh, I did.
From three years old I wasteaching her about money and
this is way before I even knew Iwas going to be doing any of
what I'm doing now, and I justwanted her because I just felt
like I learned nothing growing.
I let me take that back, lordforgive me.
I learned a lot growing up.
I learned a lot of what not todo and we didn't have allowances
because I think I was pretty, Idon't know, I don't know.
(05:18):
I just had that intuition orintelligence or whatever.
I just knew, like seeing myfriends, like you experienced it
with the week of doing thatwith your mom that I didn't want
no allowance because that wouldcut back a significant amount
of stuff that I would be able toget.
And plus, I started working at13.
And even before I had anofficial job on the books at 13,
(05:39):
14, I was like dusting people'shouses at nine and 10, making
money and doing all kinds andbabysitting, and so I've been
making money for a very longtime.
So I knew that my parents would.
If I needed something, theywould.
If they had the money, theywould give it to me and a lot of
times they didn't have tofigure it out on my own, so I
learned that earlier on, butwith my child I didn't.
(05:59):
I when Alana was coming up, shewas born in 2000, they was all.
Vanessa (06:07):
There was a lot of reporting out there saying that
allowances were bad for children, and you remember that and so I
was like you shouldn't do that.
Shay (06:12):
It's teaching them the wrong way, they need to worry
and all that.
So we didn't really do that,but we did.
When she went to high school,we paid her up to a hundred
dollars per a, um for per a.
Yeah't ever get the full $100.
She never got the full amountbecause she wouldn't make really
great grades.
But just to try to motivate herto stay in school and not stay
(06:35):
she was going to be in schoolbut to motivate her to get
better grades, because mydaughter was so smart but she
didn't put the effort in, so wehad that.
But, yeah, teaching her fromthree or four or five in the
commissary, having her have alittle book and she write down
the cost of everything, andteaching her about what am I
using an ATM or a credit card,like every time she was around
(06:56):
me and I was using money, I wasteaching at the same time.
Vanessa (06:59):
Yeah, and that's priceless, absolutely,
absolutely.
I can remember going with mygrandparents to the bank at the
first of the month, every monthwhen I was same thing, three,
four years old, and they wouldtake out all the money they
needed for the month, and thenwe would go home and we'd sit at
the table and they did theenvelope system and everything
went into envelopes and I sawthem, you know, throughout the
(07:22):
month taking the envelopes out,using that money for what it was
intended for and then lookingat the end of the month to see
if they still needed to get, youknow, more money out for X, Y,
z, whatever it was, because theywould just pull less out the
next month and they would showme that's how you grow a savings
is by spending less than youmake, less than you make.
So I had these amazing examplesgrowing up to teach me that you
(07:46):
know you save for what you want.
You don't buy it until you canafford it.
It's okay to not have it, thatsometimes we have to do without
and it's okay.
Sometimes we can't have exactlywhat we want, but we can have
something similar that's just asgood, and we can use what we
have to impact the world aroundus too, and that's way more
priceless than than, you know,buying an outfit or, you know,
(08:10):
going on an expensive vacation.
So these are things that I wastaught as a kid and I always
thought if I had children, Iwould definitely start from day
one having them understand.
You know that money is a giftand there's so many things we
can do with that gift to makehumanity better.
Shay (08:27):
Exactly.
That's awesome, that's awesome.
Vanessa (08:30):
And you're still teaching.
Shay (08:31):
Through many.
You've had stepchildren andyour cousins and friends and
family.
So there's always, even if youdon't have your own biological
kid, there's kids in your lifethat you should be teaching your
(08:51):
parents too I mean most kids,especially when they become
teenagers.
They don't want anything to dowith their parents.
Vanessa (08:54):
They don't they don't listen to us.
But you know I have a 16 yearold niece and I can be the cool
aunt who also shows her thatit's okay to save.
And you know you can't haveeverything you want every day
because mom and dad are buyingand that's going to end real
soon.
So you can always be thatexample in other areas as well.
A hundred percent agree withyou, but you know we should
(09:14):
always be teaching childrenfinancial decision making, and
that's something that you know.
I was fortunate as well growingup with the ability to make
some decisions with money orlearn the processes of making
decisions, because it was always.
It's okay if you like nicethings, but you can't have
everything.
You know, you have to makechoices and when you decide what
(09:37):
you want and that's what youstick with sorry, it's gone and
they wouldn't give in at thatpoint, which was a good thing.
So you know, there were allthese things that were taught,
and I'm sure you did that withAlana too.
Shay (09:50):
I did.
I, you know.
I taught her about savingsbecause it always go back to me.
Nobody taught me to you knowwell, shay, you're making this
money through all the jobs I'vehad since 13, 14, even before
that to put some money aside forsomething, cause I remember I
don't know where I was working,it might've been Hardee's or
whatever had a lot of jobs andit was in high school, maybe my
last year of high school and Isaved like $400, which was
(10:11):
really cool back then.
That's a lot of money back thento me especially if you're like
17, 18.
I spent all of my money in oneshopping trip at Columbia Mall
like nothing but clothes andshoes, and when I think back to
it I'm like whoa, that was sostupid.
But you know, nobody taught meto put 10% aside.
Or you know you're going to goto school for the rest of the
(10:32):
year.
You know you're going to wantfood.
You want money for specialevents or entertainment or
whatever.
So that's what I was teachingAlana Like, yeah, you might want
to buy clothes for the upcomingyear, whether it's high school,
college, whatever but you alsowant to do other activities, so
you should.
You want to go to a footballgame, you want to whatever,
whatever game, you want towhatever, whatever, and so you
should be putting money insidefor that and saving.
And of course, you know givingand we're going to talk about
(10:53):
that a little later but you know, yeah, I taught her that, but
nobody taught me that.
So I had, I was self-taughtbasically.
Vanessa (11:12):
Well, at least you learned that's the good part you
learned and then you were ableto pass it on too.
I remember and I think a lot ofthis too.
People think this is like ahard lesson and it's boring and
all these things, but it can bereally fun to teach kids about
money and financial decisionmaking.
We used to play this game inthe car.
When we would go places, my momwould give me a notebook and
like a pencil and she would say,okay, somebody just gave you a
thousand dollars, spend it, youknow.
And we would sit and we wouldtalk about what we could buy for
(11:33):
that amount and what we coulddo and you know how much it
would cost for this.
And it was all about like doingsomething for ourselves but
also doing something for others.
Or you know how much a housewould cost, and if we wanted to
buy a house for you know mygrandparents and you know
sometimes it would be smallamounts.
And then sometimes it was we wonthe lottery, but you have to
(11:53):
spend it all by tomorrow.
You know, and it's fun to seethe prices of things and the
costs of things and to learnthat you know I can either have
three smaller houses for all ofmy family or buy this one
mansion if I won the lottery.
So it teaches kids that youknow things do cost different
prices.
All houses are not the sameprice, which a lot of you know.
(12:15):
Kids don't know that.
They don't understand that.
So it's fun to teach thesethings and for them to to start
understanding, because then yousee it click with them and you
know you had a hand in that.
Shay (12:27):
Yeah, that's really cool.
Vanessa (12:28):
Really cool, yeah, and then we can help them understand
the true value of money and theeffort that it takes to get the
money.
Shay (12:36):
Yeah, there's a lot of effort that goes into it and
it's just not overnight you'regoing to be a millionaire and
it's like a lot of hard workgoes into whatever you're trying
to accomplish in life.
But even learning aboutpersonal finances, you're not
going to learn about it in a day.
Vanessa (12:56):
It's going to take you a few months, years time, you
know to learn about it, andthat's okay and just gotta be
patient, yeah, right, and youcan show kids or give them money
and say this is what you getfor the week, but they don't
understand what you have to doto get that money and how long
it takes you to work for thatmoney until that's taught to
them.
Yeah, they do not understand thevalue of $100 or the value of
$500 or the value of $2.
It's just, mom gives me thismoney and I'm going to go spend
(13:16):
it and do what I want, becausethere's always more of it for a
lot of kids and a lot of houses.
But if they understood what ittook for you to get there and
that you have other prioritiesby paying your mortgage and
paying for the car and gas toget them to school, that those
things have to be taken care offirst and that's the true value
of things and you can have this,but you can't have that because
(13:39):
we can't afford it.
Those are priceless lessons toteach kids.
Shay (13:44):
And you can start at very, very young ages, very young
ages, and that's why allowancesshould be, I think, after, in
the early 2000s, like it's badfor kids, but then later on it's
like it's not.
As long as you attach it tosomething, it shouldn't just be
given.
You know you're already havingyour basic needs taken care of,
and most, not most, in a lot ofhouseholds some households there
aren't.
But you should be doing somekind of chores or you know
(14:07):
working, going to work and do anextra chore in a yard, go
washing the car.
Something should be attached toit.
It shouldn't just be anautomatic give allowance but no,
you're going to make goodgrades, you're going to do this,
you're going to do that, andthat makes makes you have to
earn it.
That's what I'm trying to sayExactly.
(14:27):
And I think that's somethingthat that they were saying back
then too is money shouldn't justbe given they?
Vanessa (14:30):
need to understand what it takes to get that money.
I know when I was little my momhad a steakhouse and she would
pay me for going in the back andwrapping baked potatoes.
That's when they would.
You'd go in the back, you wouldget these big trays of potatoes
that had just been washed andyou would wrap them in foil and
she'd pay me a penny a potato,oh my God.
And I would sit back there forhours wrapping potatoes,
(14:53):
wrapping potatoes, because,honestly, any potatoes pretty
good back then, you know, forwrapping these things.
But you know I got excitedbecause I was making money that
I could use on fun things.
And I mean gosh, I was four andfive years old doing this.
You know child labor laws, butyou know it was.
It was one of those things Iwas proud of myself for working
(15:15):
and earning.
And kids, they, they want that.
They want to feel important anduseful.
And this is another way to dothat with them, exactly, yeah.
And then we can learn goalsetting with our children and
teach them that we can show themthat if there's something that
we want, we have to work our wayup to it and earn and save.
(15:37):
And it teaches kids patience,it teaches them about delayed
gratification and it shows themthat you know the value of that
item has to be worth it to themfor that.
You know, is there anything yousaved up for that was really
big when you were younger?
Shay (15:53):
The clothes.
It was always about how youlook back in the day.
You know you're growing up.
You just got to show out, yougot to look good.
You know I grew up like thebeing in Germany during the big
rise of hip hop.
It was funny like they likesaved these 80s, but even then,
like the 80s, 90s hip hop washuge for us and so we were
trying to look like.
Then, like the 80s, 90s, hip-hopwas huge for us and so we were
(16:14):
trying to look like and it wasfunny, I didn't realize it until
recently we were trying to looklike all the people from so, so
deaf and freaking Atlanta,right, so we had.
We had the boots, we had mypeople, oh my god, your people.
Man crisscross me and all that.
I mean all that.
We were wearing, all that, thecross colors, like we were
wearing pants backwards we hadthe high-tech boots, like we did
it all.
So I was saving for the jerseys,I was saving for the starter
(16:37):
jackets, like that's what I wassaving for, and it's funny
because I was saving for it andbuying my own.
My mom was buying it for mybrother, which I was like I
didn't understand that, but uh,yes, that was the thing.
That is exactly my life, I getit so that's why it was always
about the clothes when I wasgrowing up, cause I wasn't.
You know, you're in Germany,you don't really drive, you just
(16:57):
took the train everywhere walkeverywhere, yeah, and when I got
back here I mean, yeah, so itwas about food and clothes and
entertainment going to movies,going bowling, going skating
Like I was saving for all, orthat's what I was using the
money for.
I wasn't saving nothing, orthat's what I was using the
money for I wasn't savingnothing, I was just using the
money for that stuff and thenlater I was like, oh, I need a
(17:19):
lot of safe.
Vanessa (17:20):
So yeah, yeah, yeah, I was so dorky back then.
Like I was so dorky, I mean I'mstill dorky now.
But whatever.
So I I worked since I was 11 aswell, and you know I babysat and
I did all this stuff.
But I got my first job when Iwas able to get my work permit
at 15, you know that was thething.
But before that I worked for myparents too, cause they had
businesses, and you know I wouldtear tickets at the movie
(17:41):
theater and I would, you know,sell popcorn and I would do
those kinds of I would clean thetheater or the bathrooms, that
kind of thing.
But in my house that was whatprovided for us, so you didn't
get paid because it was takingcare of us and we were part of
the family, and you know it wasnot something that I should get
paid for, because it's payingfor all these other things which
I totally understood.
But that's something too is tolet kids be a part of that
(18:04):
process too as well, to see that.
You know it takes a lot ofeffort to to pay your bills at
home.
But when I was 13, I was a hugedork and I was really into the
Mickey Mouse Club and they allwere these super cool like
Letterman jackets, yeah, and Ireally wanted one, and the only
place you could get them backthen was actually going to I
(18:28):
think it was the Grand FloridianResort.
Shay (18:30):
Oh, wow In.
Vanessa (18:31):
Walt Disney World.
Shay (18:32):
Yeah.
Vanessa (18:32):
And we were going to disney like that next year and I
saved up.
It was like almost 400 for thisjacket, that's still a lot of
money today it was a ton ofmoney.
It was a ton of money and Isaved and I saved and I saved
and I babysat and I cleaned andI did all.
I would clean rental housesthat my parents had like for
extra money back then too.
Whatever I need to do do, I wasgoing to do.
(18:53):
It Bought this jacket.
I was so proud of this thing,and then I wear it to school the
first day and I get made fun ofand I don't ever wear it again.
Shay (19:01):
Are you serious?
That's crazy.
Vanessa (19:09):
Was this the time that Justin Timberlake, christy
Aguilera and Britney Spearsweren't they all in the Mickey
jacket?
They were, yes, they were.
It was their first year in.
Shay (19:13):
Oh, wow, because you're giving me Christina Aguilera
vibes right now with the color.
Vanessa (19:16):
So I was like I see that with that.
Shay (19:18):
She's gorgeous, You're gorgeous, oh my God.
But oh my God, they made fun ofyou with a $400 jacket.
Vanessa (19:23):
They made fun of me.
Shay (19:29):
That's crazy.
I mean, it was like can youafford a $400 jacket?
I don't think so, so go wear.
Vanessa (19:34):
But I was, oh, I was so sad and I think that thing
literally was in my closet untilthen, and now my boyfriend's
trying to sell it for me on eBay.
Shay (19:42):
Oh, hopefully you can make a lot of money off of that
jacket.
Vanessa (19:47):
Well, it's been on there for a long time with
nothing, so nobody.
I guess everybody's making funof my jacket, but hey, that's
cool.
But you know, it taught me tosave for things that I really
wanted.
And it was exciting to go andspend my money and buy this
thing I really wanted.
Shay (20:00):
Yeah.
Vanessa (20:01):
That's really cool I love that story.
Shay (20:04):
You know, I hate that you end up getting made fun of but
hey it taught you somethingright.
You know, and I mean lead it byexample, I mean going to that
model in that financial behavior.
You know budgeting, saving andavoiding death.
You know teaching your kidsthat is important, you know.
But they need to see us parents, you parent, to figures,
(20:25):
whoever adults period budgetingwe need.
I mean, I always say this weneed to make talking about money
fighting sexy, because I'm sosick of people be like I can't
tell you how much I made.
Uh, I'm too scared I got shameor I got guilt.
I know all that's real.
But like, push it to a side andbe like, yes, I don't budget,
how do I budget?
Or, yes, I do budget and thisis what I love.
I don't save.
Yes, I need to learn how to say, oh, I do know how to save.
(20:46):
Like, let me teach you this man, I got a lot of debt and I need
some help.
Call Crusaders for Change.
Or, yeah, I don't have any debtbecause I was sacrificing.
I saw something I wanted.
It took me a year, two years,it took me 10 years to go to
Hawaii, but I saved for it, youknow.
So, like, trying to teach theseand model that as financial
(21:06):
behavior is key.
I mean modeling just goodbehavior period is great, but
also financial behavior.
Right right modeling just goodbehavior period is great, but
also financial behavior right,right.
Vanessa (21:13):
And they say with kids, 80 of what they learn is what
they see and 20 is what theywhat they're taught.
So if you're not doing it inyour household and you know
other adults around them are notdoing it, they're not going to
learn it.
Even if they see it, they'renot going to know the importance
of it unless you're doing ittoo exactly so if you want your
children to be financiallyresponsible, you have to be
(21:33):
responsible as well.
Shay (21:35):
Exactly and discuss real life expenses.
Don't keep this stuff on lock.
People explain groceries,utilities, housing to them.
Sit them down Like I know mydaughter finally got like a real
, real reality when she myhusband's like oh, you've been
out of college six months, youneed to pay rent.
So I wrote down in her at leastagreement like all the bills
that we pay for.
And she's like whoa, I'm like,yeah, but I kind of I've
(21:56):
throughout the years I've toldher, yeah, that's how much
insurance costs is how muchgross.
She knew how much grocery costsbecause she was figuring out
how much it cost when she was alittle girl.
So, seeing how much it comesfor the car and all these, the
college, you know like don'thold this stuff back.
I don't know why people do that.
Like tell people the realitylike this is expensive.
Vanessa (22:14):
Yeah, and you wonder why.
You know kids become, you know,young adults and they're
delusional about theirexpectations.
You know, because they don'tunderstand that you're not going
to get your first job and makeyou know, $400,000 a year, like
that's just probably not goingto happen.
I'm sure some people do, butthat's not the reality for most
people and you know and I readsomething recently that young
(22:38):
people now are saying to becomfortable in life they need
like 286,000 per year as asalary.
Shay (22:46):
I don't know.
I only know like one or twopeople that make that.
Vanessa (22:48):
So like, really that's not how it works the average
person in America makes lessthan 60.
Shay (22:53):
I think they make 30.
Vanessa (22:54):
Exactly Something like that Exactly, so they don't
understand what salaries arenumber one compared to what our
needs are and what things cost.
So that's all important to teachtoo, because that will help
them make a career choice basedoff of you know what they can
afford.
Or they know ahead of time thatI'm not going to make a lot of
money, so I need to have youknow lower expectations for what
(23:16):
I can afford.
Or you know it's okay becauseit's something I love.
And people are all the time weare so willing to to give up
something for something we want,and that's perfectly fine.
But as long as you know and youcan show them this is what life
will be like, and it'sperfectly okay and fine if
that's what you want, but justknow what it's really going to
(23:36):
be like what it's going toreally be like exactly and, like
vanessa said earlier, herparents I think you said your
grandparents, or somebody tookyou to the bank, right, my
grandparents, yeah.
Shay (23:44):
So take them to the bank, teach them about savings,
checking, interest.
I give my parents that well,and I think it was because they
had to.
So when I got my first jobworking for the military and it
was a summer hire program my dadhad to take me to the local
credit union or whatever ingermany and open up an account.
But, um, yeah, they should, youshould.
And I opened up an account Ithink a lot of before she was
even born, or right when she wasborn, like, and started saving
(24:05):
for her.
And I always say that, shoot mydog.
Before I even got a dog, we hada savings named titan.
Before we even knew we had aTitan.
So like that's how you need toteach your kids about the
banking, because they're goingto need bank accounts.
And now you got to add on tothat all of the I was just
hearing about it all, like thecash app and Venmo there's a
name for personal pay, somethingsystems, like there's a lot
(24:28):
more.
We got to be teaching our kids.
And now you got Zelle and oh myGod, it's a list of so long.
So teaching them about all ofthat is key and tell them how
you use it, like this is how Iuse a credit card, my savings,
my checking, this is interest.
This is, you know, all thatgood stuff.
Vanessa (24:42):
It's so important and and I know certain things are
not being used anymore, but theyat least need to know that
they're around, so they knowthat there are other options out
there too, and know whichoptions are the best for them
and what they're going to bedoing and how to utilize the
most from them.
And you know what they can get,as you know interest rates for
different savings accounts thatyou know they can actually make
(25:03):
money with money sitting there.
I mean that's the coolest thingever, right?
Just like let your money sitthere and you get money for it.
So there's all kinds of thingswe can teach our kids and let
them be a part of, and I thinkit makes them feel more a member
of the family.
They feel valued as well,because you know they're really
being talked to as an adult withthese things and trusted with
(25:26):
this information, and it canreally help with that bond too.
Shay (25:30):
It really can.
And just like you're saying,showing them the value of
comparison shopping, whetherit's store brand versus name
brand, or this bank offers thisinterest rate and this bank or
credit union offers this, orwhatever it may be, you know,
don't go with your first options.
Always say, or at least makesure you do enough research
before you make your decision.
So you might go with your firstoption, but it's after you've
(25:50):
looked at many other otheroptions.
Done that, comparison shoppingand being able to save on a
store brand versus a name brandis key, like you know, even with
medicine.
Other day I was, yesterday Iwas in wegmans looking for some
iron for alana and alana's likegive me nature's made iron.
They didn't have that, but theyhad.
Wegmans had their brand of ironand she's like that's exactly
the same thing, exactly so.
So you know, look at theingredients.
Vanessa (26:12):
A lot of times now even the the stores be like compared
to you know same ingredientscheaper, buy the cheaper one
yeah, well, and then think aboutthe money you saved yeah you
can use that for or save it for,or you know, maybe you couldn't
afford all the groceries thatyou needed for the household,
but if you do buy the off brands, you can get everything exactly
(26:32):
plus something fun for the youknow.
So there's all kinds of waysyou can teach your kids to be
mindful, and I think that's whatthis just comes down to is to
be educated and be mindful.
How can we do this as a family?
That's a big thing too, likewhat are some things we can do
as a family to kind of make itfun?
(26:53):
I know a lot of families theylike to set a family savings
goal and they plan somethingtogether, they talk about it,
they come up with an idea and asa family, they start saving,
and I think it's a great way toshow your kids you know that you
can have this, but we have tomake sacrifices along the way to
get what we want, you know.
(27:19):
And then they're a part of ittoo and they get excited.
And then sometimes kids arehappy to give up you know,
mcdonald's after school becausethey can put that money towards
the trip to Disney World in twoyears or whatever.
That is on a decision like thatand there's something amazing
at the end waiting for them.
They're going to learn at anearly age that yeah, I can do
(27:40):
this, I can give up certainthings because I really want
something else even more, and itreally shows them that they
have this power inside of themand it's all up to them.
Shay (27:47):
That is so true.
My daughter has always beeninvolved in our, from the time
that she was young.
Our, our vacation, our familyvacation, starting with disney
world, or even before that, justlocal trips or whatever we were
doing.
And so now she's 23 and she'spreparing to uh, planning for
her.
She uh parks, uh with our, withmy nieces and nephews, with our
(28:09):
cousins.
So she's been bugging me likeevery other day because she's
planning, and so she was talkingto her cousins during texting
with them.
She's like mom, they don't.
Or she calls me mother, mother,they don't understand the cost
of of anything she's like.
These kids don't get it becauseshe's she's telling them.
Like the cost of the tickets,we can use the military
(28:29):
discounts the cost of the foodand parking.
And one of the her cousins youmet, Layla, was like we can just
not eat for the day.
It's like just trying to savesome money Because they don't
understand.
Like no, we got to eat y'all.
We're going to be in this parkfor 8 to 12 hours, so we're
going to have to budget that in.
So Alana's put together abudget.
She's supposed to be it to herfan her vacation with her
(28:55):
cousins and future partner andfriends and so, yeah, it's very
important to do it.
Vanessa (29:00):
That's amazing to see because you do pass that down,
and then at some point you cantotally pass it down to her and
she can be the planner and youjust show up, just show up?
Shay (29:09):
oh, that's exactly.
And then she paid for it too,girl.
Vanessa (29:13):
Exactly, Exactly.
We used to do this, this thing,in the summer.
So we would go to the beach alot during the summer growing up
, and because my parents wereself-employed, we would have
afterschool programs and summerprograms want to come to the
movie theater, you know, duringbreaks and they would come and
watch whatever movie was playing.
And they would do and watchwhatever movie was playing and
(29:34):
my parents would do the speciallittle deal for them.
So that was the money we woulduse for vacations.
It was extra money, it wasmoney that we worked for.
But I remember having to get upearly in the morning.
I mean I was probably gosh likeseven, eight, nine, and I would
have to go pop popcorn and makelittle bags of popcorn for
these other kids that got tocome to the movies, you know,
(29:55):
and I would make drinks and Iwould get everything set up so
that when they came through theyjust grabbed and would go.
But it was worth it because weall worked as a team to get to
go on this trip and it was a lotof fun, you know, to do that
with my parents growing up.
So I think you can make reallygood memories as a kid too, with
all these things and it reallygives you something to remember
(30:17):
later on.
You know something else that Iwas taught young is charitable
giving and you can donate yourtime together as a family,
encourage tithing, and a lot ofkids get really excited about
this, about being able to helpsomeone else.
Shay (30:33):
Yeah, I remember, because we grew up in a Catholic church,
so of course you know it's anhour of boring church.
Vanessa (30:38):
lord, forgive me but I don't know if catholic churches
are like that anymore.
Shay (30:42):
But yeah, we would have, like you, got to make sure you
have your money to put in thetithing you know the little tin
coming around but yeah, um, butyeah.
It's definitely teaching mychild that you know you need to
donate to.
You know god and your churchand others and yourself as well,
um, but in that order.
It's important and can be funas well exactly I remember going
(31:03):
.
Vanessa (31:03):
I went to church with my grandparents and every um
every year all the members ofthe church would get this little
box that had these littleenvelopes in it and it would
have their name on it and it wasfor tithing throughout the year
.
So you had your tithingenvelopes and I remember I would
gosh.
I was little.
I remember one year mygrandparents made sure I got my
(31:24):
own box of little envelopes andI cannot tell you how excited I
was to have this silly littlebox of envelopes yeah, I used to
get them from some of mychurches, yeah, and.
I was so excited because I feltlike a grownup because I got to
fill out my little envelope andI got to put my money in it and
I got to put it in the offeringplate on Sundays and it made me
(31:45):
feel like so good doingsomething for someone else.
And I was proudly giving upother things.
You know like my grandpa wouldtake me to get gummies once a
week on Wednesdays and I, youknow I'd save some of that gummy
money and I would put that inmy tithing envelope.
But I was happy to do thatbecause I knew it was helping
somebody else.
(32:05):
So I think, kids, they get alot out of this and it really
teaches them to be good peoplewhen it comes down to it, you
know, and then you can also playsome financial games.
That's a fun thing too.
I mean, just like the game Ibrought up earlier about my mom
saying this is how much money wehave now spend it.
You know, really, show kids,this is what you can do with
(32:25):
what you have.
It can be so fun.
So, fun to have thoseconversations and to see you
know their, their minds workingand really kind of going through
things and being like, well, Iwouldn't have done it that way,
but hey, if that's the way youwant to do it, that's amazing.
You know it works, but they canget creative.
So, yeah, play games with themand teach them these things, and
(32:48):
you can always encourageentrepreneurship.
You know, if they really wantsomething, help them start a
lemonade stand.
You know, show them how tocreate some flyers so they can
cut grass around theneighborhood.
You know, teach them a skillset so that they know what
they're doing and they can getout there and market their
(33:08):
services.
I know my cousin has five kidsand they go to this Christian
camp every year but they havetheir children pay for half the
camp and their kids come up witha way to make the money.
And the last four or five years, the girls have done bread
baking and they advertise onFacebook and they bake bread and
(33:30):
it's amazing bread, by the wayand they sell these loaves of
bread and it pays for their camp.
Oh, I love that, yeah, yeah,and it's something that we get
excited about because it's sogood, but it's also something
that teaches them a skill andteaches them how to you know to
be a business owner and how toyou know talk to people and how
to make change and to sell, andit teaches all these skills, but
(33:55):
in the cell.
Shay (33:56):
And it teaches all these skills, but they're learning so
much and they're gaining thistime with their family too.
I love that.
On our neighborhood app they alot of people went during the
summer or when the college isgiving a kid graduates college.
You're like my kid's lookingfor work or whether it's doing
the grass or you need some.
You know people who make up orhair.
You know all these differentwalk.
Your dog is a big one, you know, so our pets sit um, so there's
, you know.
(34:16):
It's cool that the parents Imean she should be the kids on
them apps doing that agree, butthe parents are like I need to
find this guy or this girl orwhoever them something uh to do
during the summer but also makesome money.
So I love that the parents arepushing that out through the
apps, social media and stufflike that trying or you see the
flyers around the neighborhood,so that's really awesome.
So there's always a kid tryingto cut grass or bait food and
(34:39):
walk a dog, right, oh, man.
Well, any final thoughts?
That was amazing.
It was a longer episode, butbecause we want to talk about
these kiddos, man, it's a lot totalk about.
Vanessa (34:50):
There's so much.
I would just say you knowwherever you are in life and if
you have kids or not, just be anexample, because they're
watching yeah, got it and that'swhat he wants us to be an
example and follow the goldenrule and treat others as they
should.
Shay (35:05):
You want to be treated and yeah, and you want your kids to
succeed.
You should be trying to dowhatever you need to do.
They can make them succeed but,lead by example.
So all right.
Well, thank you for joining usfor another episode.
I hope all is well and we'llsee you soon.
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
(35:26):
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast and please
feel free to leave us a review.
Vanessa (35:36):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at Crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired.
Shay (35:50):
And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.
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