September 26, 2024 • 28 mins
What if chasing material success is the very thing that's keeping you unhappy? Join Shay Cook and Vanessa McNelley on Yahweh's Money as we unpack how the pervasive issue of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) drives us into a cycle of stress and dissatisfaction. We lean on biblical wisdom, particularly from Matthew 6:19-21, and use relatable metaphors to illustrate the pitfalls of valuing possessions over spiritual wealth. Together, we share personal stories and insights aimed at finding true contentment through gratitude, spiritual growth, and the joy of being a cheerful giver.
Our discussion extends to the profound impact of selfless giving and the dangers of consumerism. Reflecting on personal anecdotes, we contrast the hollow pursuit of material wealth with the fulfilling experience of generosity inspired by spiritual teachings. Highlighting the negative influence of media that promotes unrealistic standards, we advocate for prioritizing spiritual growth and meaningful contributions. Through stories of faith, such as choosing spiritual guidance over medical treatment and the journey to homeownership, we emphasize the importance of faith, obedience, and trusting in God's provision to discover true happiness.
💸⛪🕍📿💵
Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shay (00:03):
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing
saving and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Let's get started.
Shay (00:35):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's
Money.
Hey, Vanessa, how are you today?
I am good.
Shay, how are you?
I'm good.
I'm feeling really good,especially about this topic.
Here we deal with a lot ofpeople that have fear of missing
out FOMO.
How many times have we heardthat?
Oh, my God Over and over, again,over and over but we're going
(00:57):
to talk about no FOMO here, soever feel like you're sprinting
after success, only to wonder ifyou're missing the real prize.
Today, Vanessa and I aretalking about why true happiness
isn't about bling or success,but about being a cheerful giver
and finding contentment in thethings that truly matter.
We're going to explore howGod's plan for us goes beyond
(01:21):
the glittering allure ofpossessions and success.
So buckle up and get ready todiscover the joy of missing out
on what you don't need.
Wow, Vanessa, I'm going to stopright there for a moment,
because that's a lot.
Vanessa (01:35):
That is a lot, and I think that last statement
missing out on what you don'tneed that sums it up.
I think we're done.
Shay (01:42):
I know I mean really, like , really, it's a lot to discover
.
A lot of people don't understandthat and we're here to teach
them that today, exactly.
And you know, in the word, andthe bible has a lot to say about
the pursuit of possessions andmoney, often emphasizing that we
can lead to spiritual, or thatthey can lead to spiritual
(02:04):
pitfalls if not approached withthe right attitude.
Instead, we should place apriority on spiritual wealth
over material wealth.
So in Matthew 6, 19 through 21,it states do not store up for
yourselves treasures on earth,where moths and vermin destroy
(02:26):
and where thieves break in andstill, but store up for
yourselves treasures and heavenwhere moths and vermin do not
destroy and where thieves do notbreak in and still.
For where your treasure is,there your heart will be also.
(02:47):
Every time I see this scripture,I focus on that last sentence,
for where your treasure is, thatis where your heart will be
also.
So if you treasure money andmaterials and whatever that may
be, those materialistic things,that's where your heart is
people.
But if you have values likefamily and you know love and
(03:08):
kindness, that is where yourtreasure is.
So I think that's beautiful.
Vanessa (03:13):
Oh yeah, yeah, I'll tell you two things that come to
mind with.
That is, I think, about Lord ofthe Rings, of course, my
precious right Like kind ofhoarding and holding on to
things, and the show Hoarders,oh yeah.
Right and how people reallyjust kind of hoarding and
holding onto things and the showhoarders, oh yeah, right, and
how people really just kind ofthey, they kind of fall in love
with their things even thoughthey have been eaten up by
vermin and destroyed.
(03:35):
So those just kind of come tomind at first.
I love that, yes, andespecially.
Shay (03:39):
I'm a Lord of Rings fan and how people and especially
with the new Lord of Ringsseries on Amazon right now I
love that, especially the secondseason right now is amazing,
and how the elves and the manand all these people are
fighting over these rings andthey're putting their heart in
this treasure.
It's like, yeah, the rings havea lot of power, but there's
(03:59):
something better and bigger thanthat, exactly.
Yeah, that's good.
Vanessa (04:04):
And I think with material success, a lot of times
that's good, exactly, and youknow, and I think with material
success, a lot of times it's amirage.
I don't know about you, but Ithink when we have these selfish
pursuits you know money,success, you know things it can
set us up for disappointmentsand stress.
I don't know about you, butanytime I've tried to get
something that's kind of out ofreach, there is all this stress
(04:27):
that comes with that, becauseit's like, okay, well, how am I
going to pay for it?
You know how long is it goingto take me to get there where I
need to be to have enough forthat?
Or you have it and it breaksdown quicker than it should.
But there's always thisdisappointment and I feel like
you're always kind of longingfor more.
You're never satisfied or happywith what you have at that
(04:48):
moment.
I mean, have you been that way?
Shay (04:50):
Yeah, of course, and I think what comes to mind is
about the journey.
We don't focus on the steps thatit takes to get to that money
or that success, and then wedon't enjoy it when we have it.
You know, it's like you said forme I'm gonna speak from on my
behalf, because I'm the onlyperson I can really speak on is,
you know, I'll obtain thatsuccess, I'll make the money
(05:12):
that I had, goal wise orwhatever and then I'm like all
right, I can make more, I can dothis, instead of like sitting
back first giving honor to godand thanking, being grateful for
it, um, and then being thatcheerful giver is our intro
stated and being focused more onthat instead of the you get,
you get greedy, like it's agreed that starts to starts to
(05:34):
come on board when you're like,ooh, yay, you know my precious,
you know, like from Lord of theRings, like, ooh, I want the
ring, but I also want the powerand I want the money and I want
this, and it's like it justbuilds that in you.
And I'm sure God did that for areason, because we're human.
But if you're constantlyfocused on that, you're not
focused on God, you're notfocused on self, you're not
(05:54):
focused on family and friendsand people and kindness and
giving and, yeah, it could justbe the death of you, like
seriously.
Vanessa (06:01):
Yeah, and it can lead to a shallow sense of
fulfillment and I think we'vemet people who kind of use their
, their things and theirsuccesses to define who they are
.
You know somebody who you sitdown and they're telling you
about their, their big house, orthey're telling you about you
know their awesome car that theyhave, and it's like I asked how
you were doing.
(06:22):
I want to know about you and howthings are going, but all
you're doing is telling me aboutthese things, these things, and
to me, things do not define aperson, not at all.
So it's like how do we get awayfrom this, this sense of
fulfillment?
And it never feels like it'senough, and that's what
materialism is it's neverfeeling like you have enough.
Shay (06:42):
I know, and the word here in the notes.
It talks about how this wantingpossessions and money just
starts to control you.
That's what we're talking about.
The control it starts to takeover you and God doesn't want
that.
God doesn't want that tocontrol you or your heart, you
know.
I mean, if it's getting to thatpoint, you need to get rid of
that stuff, Right?
(07:03):
I mean it's just too much, yeah.
Vanessa (07:06):
Well, and we can miss out on God's message because
we're focused on other things.
And if we're focused on, youknow, these beautiful outfits,
or waiting in line for the newiPhone, or whatever it might be,
we can really miss out on somegood things that he has in store
for us.
Yeah, so true, so true, so trueyou know, and I think we miss
(07:27):
out on happiness and contentmentthat comes from within, and it
really doesn't depend on theseachievements that we have, and
there's just, there's so muchthat we are looking outwardly
for when we should be lookingwithin, and it's just, it's a
hard situation to be in, itreally is.
You know, I just it's a hardsituation to be in, it really is
.
Shay (07:46):
You know, I feel like there's a high that comes with
it when you're chasing the moneyand the success.
I know for at least seven yearsprobably with my time working
at the Coast Guard, when I waslike, oh, my husband's finally
out in the military and evenbeyond that with the army.
When I started there I was a GS, uh, whatever, it was 11 at the
time and then I moved up to 12,13, 14, like within four years.
(08:08):
I like people's like, oh my god, how do you feel you moved up
so fast?
And to me it was like a high.
I was chasing a high.
I was addicted to the successand to the promotions and to the
money and I I mean I feel likeI lost prime years of my life
because I was in my late 20s,30s, focused on trying to make
up for lost time quote unquotewhen my husband and I were
(08:29):
traveling around, when he was inthe military.
I was so focused on that.
When we got back to Maryland heretired, I was just like, oh my
God, I got to focus on this andI was high off of that success.
I was wanting, I was feeninglike and I, you know, for those
drug addicts out there.
I know this is like that, butthere is just an analogy, right.
(08:54):
It's just I was feening forthat success, like I needed that
hit every six months, everyyear, and it was.
It was.
It was detrimental to mespiritually, mentally and
physically, um, and I had toreally do a lot of work after I
got out of that mindset to reset, to reestablish my relationship
with God and the control giveit back over to him, because I
(09:16):
was so focused.
I mean, I guess that's whatthat mirage is right.
When you smoke weed you getlike that mir, I don't know I
smoke it, but you know you getthat mirage of what Whoa, like
you know that high.
Oh my God, like what is goingon here.
It's a temporary thing, yeah,yeah.
Vanessa (09:35):
Happiness and just being invincible.
And I think that's the big partof this is we have that feeling
and it's like we feel like,okay, we are on top of the world
, but guess what?
You know, we can go higher andwe can get higher, we can get
higher, and I think you're right, we get higher, but also higher
, like that means to win,exactly, exactly, so you're
(10:00):
always having more.
Shay (10:01):
You have to have more and more and more to have that same
more and more to have that samebaseline feeling, but then you
forget about what's important,your family, yourself, like it's
just like people are like, oh,she cares about his money and
who they think they are.
You get started to get thatjudgment coming in and, yeah,
it's just gets ugly, yeah.
Vanessa (10:19):
And I think sometimes we forget that it's okay to have
nice things.
Yes, and God wants us to havefun and to have pleasure in our
lives and all these things.
He wants those things for us,those are gifts from him, but we
have to know how to do them ina way that's honoring him and
understand that freedom and joycomes from realizing that those
(10:43):
things don't come from thingsand you know relationships here
on earth.
We have to embrace more and andkind of understand that we need
to be grateful for all of thesethings and thank him for these
things and realize they'recoming from him.
And if we can do that, I thinkthat is the first step to
(11:04):
realizing it's not here, it'sthere where we want to be
Exactly.
Shay (11:09):
I agree with that.
You know, in this fear ofmissing out, it's a real thing,
you see it everywhere.
But I think we need to be morefocused on cheerful giving,
right the selfless or selflessgiving can bring a deeper sense
of joy and satisfaction thanreceiving.
I know I just I love.
I mean I have to give it to myparents.
They both serve in differentways, whether it was the
(11:31):
military, my dad, girl Scouts,church, even with my mom dad,
church as well, like they'vealways been in service of others
and man, the.
I love giving to people, even ifit's just as simple as we're
cleaning out our house everythree months Cause I don't like
the hoard stuff and I'm going togive it to a charity or to a
purple heart or wherevergoodwill, it doesn't matter.
(11:53):
Um, because I'm, but I alwaysmake sure my stuff is in still
good quality, but I don't needit anymore.
So let's bless somebody else,or I'm contributing to church or
whatever way I am, or just afriend needs something.
Whatever it may be, it's justthe giving.
It just gives you such a.
It's just a.
That's another high, but that'sa good high.
Vanessa (12:14):
Exactly.
You know and I know you and Iboth have good examples of this.
You know, I always talk aboutmy grandpa and that is his joy
in life and I say often, whenpeople don't want to accept
things, I'm like, don't takeaway his joy.
That is his joy in life and youcan just see him light up with
this.
Just, it's amazing to see hisface.
(12:37):
He's able to do something forsomeone and that is his high,
but he's doing it in a way thathonors God and he's doing it for
God, because God has done somuch for him, so he's able to do
this.
So we need to be able torecognize those things and see
that.
You know, we can get thosefeelings and get more of those
(12:58):
feelings and better feelings ifwe follow him versus following
materialism.
Shay (13:03):
Amen and, like I was kind of already saying, like selfless
giving could be your time, yourenergy, your money, whatever
way it is, if you're giving awayand not if there's no
selfishness attached to it, itain't about you, it's about
serving others, you know, andour wants are just really false
interpretations of happiness.
(13:24):
Like let's focus on our needsand you know it's okay to want
some things.
You know you want a nice ring,you want a nice this.
That you know.
But going back to the giving,is this?
It's really important.
It just gives people a sense ofcommunity and purpose.
Vanessa (13:39):
It does, yeah, and I think something too we need to
think about is what we'reconsuming out there too, like
are we watching the Kardashians?
Are we watching the Real HouseLives?
I know, when I watch theKardashians, I feel worse about
myself.
Shay (13:54):
Oh, my God.
Vanessa (13:56):
And I feel like, oh, I need better makeup and I need to
buy some skims and I need to,you know, suck it in and do
these things and have a nice car.
And I feel like I need morethings to to meet that
expectation and that standardand I'm always comparing myself,
because Kim Kardashian and Iare the same age, and I'm like,
oh you know, if only I had whatshe had.
Shay (14:17):
I look like she does.
Vanessa (14:19):
But you know, that's not what we're supposed to be
doing.
We're not supposed to becomparing or wanting what others
have or all these things, andit's like if you're around that
constantly, I think you're goingto have more of that mindset of
I need, I need, I need.
Shay (14:33):
Yeah, my people are Beyonce and JLo, who are
gorgeous.
I mean to me is, and I hate itbecause I love Beyonce, beyonce
humble and all that.
I believe I don't know, butit's more Jennifer Lopez's body,
oh my god, like I don't know.
I've just been a fan and a girlcrush on that woman for a long
(14:55):
time, like her, and I don't likethe way she's treating men and
Ben Affleck, I'm just saying,but I don't know about it, but
still she's just a beautifulwoman.
I'll be like dang man.
She's just saying I know shegot a lot of money and resources
to keep her body looking likethat, but obviously she got some
good genes too.
But that's how I'm, like I can'twatch Jennifer Lopez too much.
(15:16):
I'd be like I'd be feeling badabout myself, so bad about
myself.
So I'm just saying, yeah, butwe watch these things and we see
these things and it makes uswant more.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
It makes you feel bad, like Idon't want to do that.
It does, it does.
And you know, really we need tomake sure that our giving and
what we're doing in life closelyaligns with our spiritual
(15:37):
teachings and what we'relearning.
Even if you're not spiritual orreligious, you know the word is.
I mean, I'm sorry, I always tryto be open to everybody,
whatever text you're reading,whatever religious beliefs you
have, but the word andChristianity is really where
it's at people.
I'm saying, I know I'm biased,but oh my God, it's so many
(15:58):
stories Like and you can get itin so many different versions of
like, and I know it's likecenturies stories like and you
can get it in so many differentversions of like, and I know
it's like centuries ago, but itreally applies to today.
And I'm telling you just theway and the power of God, if I
read the word every day, everyother week, every other month,
every other year, it alwaysapplies to my situation.
(16:19):
So I just love when I open upthe word and I'm reading
something, even if it's justlike our text today in Matthew
six, jesus teaching about money.
That applies to 2024, 2020, 60,whatever, 2063, 3075, whatever.
It always applies to what'sgoing on.
And so I say all that to saycheerful giving, oh my God, can
(16:43):
really align with your spiritualteachings and really just make
you feel good, just feel so good.
Vanessa (16:49):
Exactly, and it's nice to have those examples of what
will happen if you do and whatwill happen if you don't, or
what could happen if you do yeah, exactly.
Yeah, and I think we alwaysneed to remember you know, god
is going to provide, he's goingto give us the things that we
(17:09):
need.
We need to trust that God willprovide for our needs, and it
may not be the way you expect itto that part.
But he is going to provide forus, and I think a lot of people
have this mentality of I'm goingto, I'm going to pray and then
I'm going to give it, give it upto God and I'm going to sit
back and wait.
(17:30):
But I feel like we still haveto put work into it.
We still have to be open toreceive those blessings,
whatever they may be, because ifwe're looking for one specific
thing, we might be missing allthese other things around us
that would be better for us inthe long run because we are
sitting there waiting on the onething or we feel like we're
(17:52):
just supposed to sit back andlet it happen.
You know, I have a good exampleof this.
It doesn't really have to dowith money, but it has to do
with health.
Um, my uncle had a prostatecancer when, probably 15 years
ago and he very religious man,very strict, you know no
television, a wife, wore dresses, no makeup, girls didn't cut
(18:14):
their hair Um, he ended up withcancer and he went and had a
conversation with my grandfatherabout receiving treatment for
cancer.
And my grandfather was like,well, yeah, I had cancer and I
had treatment.
And here I am, 15 years downthe road.
You wouldn't even know I hadcancer.
(18:34):
And my uncle thought that if youbelieved and you just sat back
and let God do his work whichdoes happen it does happen that
he would be healed and thatgiving in and seeking help was
giving into the devil.
And my grandfather was like, no, god gave us doctors, god gave
(18:55):
us medication, he gave usdifferent ways to be healed and
ultimately my uncle passed awayfrom a curable cancer.
But I think sometimes we're sofocused on that one way that
we're told that we can't see theothers.
Maybe the blessing in all ofthat was he was supposed to be
there for other people goingthrough the same thing, or for
(19:17):
those doctors or nurses, butinstead, you know he sat back
and waited and fortunately youknow he left back and waited and
fortunately you know he left,which was God's plan, I'm sure,
for him in this life.
But we need to be open to theseother things we do.
Shay (19:31):
God helps those that help themselves.
I really believe God is stillin the miracle business, but
they don't come as often.
So even if you read the wordpeople, miracles happen, but
they weren't happening in everytext, every cent, every month,
every day.
Right, we have to do the work.
We have to believe.
I believe that god createddoctors and medicine and
(19:52):
spiritual healing and all thesedifferent things western eastern
medicine, whatever you believein, there is a, there is a way
and you need to search and goingback to like you saying, like
with you know you can pray onsomething, but you can't.
Just there's not there.
Again, there's prayer.
I mean there's.
There's miracles.
You can pray and then just sitand then something may happen,
(20:13):
but I say, 99.9% of the time yougot to be doing something in
between the pray and you gettingthe thing happening, like I
would think I was telling you.
We were talking about this theother day.
You know I had wrote down in mypersonal goals that I wanted to
buy a house by 2023.
And that was years ago.
And I was updating my goalsrecently because after the
(20:34):
pandemic or even during thepandemic, I wasn't updating my
personal goals as often, becauseI just felt like we were in a
standstill.
So in this week I feltmotivated to finally go back to
my personal goals, update somethings, and I was like, oh, wow,
I had wrote it down and make itplain.
That's in the Bible.
Y'all Wrote it down, made itplain.
But I worked, me and my husbandsaved, we did all kinds of
things to prepare for this housein 2023.
(20:55):
And the catalyst was,unfortunately, our dog dying,
but God knew that my dog Titandying in 2020, uh, I guess that
was two us moving forward withbuying a house was going to
happen, and it did in 2023, youknow.
So it was like, wow, we did thework and we were blessed and we
accomplished this goal.
(21:16):
And it was just a beautifulthing.
And it wasn't just me like, allright, let me write it down,
pray and just keep it moving.
Nah, we worked, we did what wehad to do and then, as the
spirit moved us after our dogdied, that part of it was us
obeying the spirit.
So it's that piece of it, too,that a lot of people don't do.
God will give you the visions,the move, the push, the
(21:39):
motivation and if you're like,whatever, lord and I've been
there.
I've been like whatever Lord, Iain't got time for you right
now.
No, you need to be obedient.
Vanessa (22:13):
Okay.
So, yeah, there's a lot to gothrough.
That Well, exactly, yeah, yeah,yeah.
(22:40):
And you know we can enjoythings, but the meaning and the
love and the joy and the thingsthat really matter need to come
from those connections.
Shay (22:52):
I agree those connections, but to me, the ultimate
connection and going back to thehouse story with God I think,
even though we saved God, we tryto sell that house on multiple
occasions over the 15 years wewere there.
But 2022, after Titan dying, usbeing obedient to him and
waiting and being still in theLord, but also looking and doing
(23:13):
our work offered us theopportunity to sell a home for
almost 200,000 more than what wethought we were going to get
for it.
And to me, that is me being meand my husband, our husband and
I being obedient because wetried.
You know we could have soldthat house if we really pushed,
but every time he gave us, wetry to.
(23:33):
We put the house on that marketthree times before the fourth
and we was like man, we ain'tnever going to get out of here.
But Nate was like no, let'shold on and even I'll go even a
little deeper and share, even bea little more transparent.
My husband at one time was like, no, we need to focus on
repairing or building thisrelationship before we move into
and buy another home.
(23:54):
So that was being obedient tomy marriage as well and to God.
And so by being obedient to Godand to my husband and to the
marriage.
That was the blessing so to me,that spiritual growth and those
meaningful connections with myhusband, putting that over a
material pursuit, was allowed usto have more, to prosper, and
(24:15):
so I love that.
It's just the beauty of it all.
God is beautiful, I agree.
I agree completely.
And you know, faith canalleviate the fear of missing
out on success and money.
Oh, my God, that part because Ihave.
I shared with Vanessa recently.
She was the only person Nate,forgive me if you even listen I
don't even know if you listen tome always buddy, but I know I
(24:36):
haven't shared with him.
The other day I was just God.
God was like you need to sayout loud your fears.
And I told Vanessa the otherday, I was like I started just
saying all of my fears out loudand he was like hello, faith,
faith can alleviate, alleviate,eliminate this fear.
(24:58):
You know the fear of missing out, the fear, whatever the fear,
fear comes from, and I was likeno wonder I have anxieties.
I had like five, six, sevenpages worth of fears.
I didn't write it down becauseI said it out loud, but still,
when I started listing them outloud.
I was like, oh my God, and Iknow so many of us out here are
dealing in fear every single day, to the point that people are
(25:19):
committing suicide because theyare afraid.
And so faith, people, faith iswhere it's at.
For your money, for your family, for your professional,
personalized faith is where it'sat.
I'm like preaching over here.
I'm sorry.
Vanessa (25:34):
No, no, but it's so true.
And fear was created by thedevil, in my opinion to keep us
down so that we don't achievethose goals that God has set for
us, and it's a way to kind ofhold us back and make us rethink
things and think, okay, well,I'm not good enough, or they're
only going to like me if I havethis or whatever those things
(25:58):
are.
So if we can get through thefear and just know, you know
what it's going to be okay, it'sgoing to be okay, it's going to
be fine, I'm going to haveenough.
I may not have everything Iwant in life, but I'm going to
have enough and so many goodthings can come from enough
Exactly, and from that faith itcomes your values.
Shay (26:19):
Think about what you truly value in life and then align
your actions with your spiritualgoals.
I mean go from your values.
I value family, I value travel,I value taking care of people,
whatever you value, hopefullyit's positive, because then you
need to go and reassess thateven more.
But what you value in life, Imean you align your actions and
(26:41):
then you'll with your spiritualgoals.
Then you will prosper.
Vanessa (26:46):
Exactly, Exactly, and think about this.
I mean, people say this all thetime, but when you are done
here in this life, you are notgoing to say, oh, I wish I had a
bigger house or more cars.
You're going to say I wish Ihad more time with my
grandchildren or I would havespent more time with my church
family or whatever that is.
It's always about thoserelationships that you missed
(27:07):
out on.
It's not about the things Wow,such a great episode.
Shay (27:12):
Any final thoughts, Vanessa?
Vanessa (27:14):
You know, I would just say the telltale sign that money
can't buy happiness is true.
Yeah, and just remember thatit's all about balance with God.
He wants us to have nice things, but he also wants us to
remember where those good thingscome from.
Amen.
Shay (27:32):
Yeah, and God is real, y'all.
That's all I'm going to say.
Thank you for another greatepisode, Vanessa.
Yeah, god is real.
Have a great day everyone.
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast, and please
(27:55):
feel free to leave us a review?
Vanessa (27:56):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired.
Shay (28:10):
And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing
saving and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Let's get started.
Shay (00:35):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's
Money.
Hey, Vanessa, how are you today?
I am good.
Shay, how are you?
I'm good.
I'm feeling really good,especially about this topic.
Here we deal with a lot ofpeople that have fear of missing
out FOMO.
How many times have we heardthat?
Oh, my God Over and over, again,over and over but we're going
(00:57):
to talk about no FOMO here, soever feel like you're sprinting
after success, only to wonder ifyou're missing the real prize.
Today, Vanessa and I aretalking about why true happiness
isn't about bling or success,but about being a cheerful giver
and finding contentment in thethings that truly matter.
We're going to explore howGod's plan for us goes beyond
(01:21):
the glittering allure ofpossessions and success.
So buckle up and get ready todiscover the joy of missing out
on what you don't need.
Wow, Vanessa, I'm going to stopright there for a moment,
because that's a lot.
Vanessa (01:35):
That is a lot, and I think that last statement
missing out on what you don'tneed that sums it up.
I think we're done.
Shay (01:42):
I know I mean really, like , really, it's a lot to discover
.
A lot of people don't understandthat and we're here to teach
them that today, exactly.
And you know, in the word, andthe bible has a lot to say about
the pursuit of possessions andmoney, often emphasizing that we
can lead to spiritual, or thatthey can lead to spiritual
(02:04):
pitfalls if not approached withthe right attitude.
Instead, we should place apriority on spiritual wealth
over material wealth.
So in Matthew 6, 19 through 21,it states do not store up for
yourselves treasures on earth,where moths and vermin destroy
(02:26):
and where thieves break in andstill, but store up for
yourselves treasures and heavenwhere moths and vermin do not
destroy and where thieves do notbreak in and still.
For where your treasure is,there your heart will be also.
(02:47):
Every time I see this scripture,I focus on that last sentence,
for where your treasure is, thatis where your heart will be
also.
So if you treasure money andmaterials and whatever that may
be, those materialistic things,that's where your heart is
people.
But if you have values likefamily and you know love and
(03:08):
kindness, that is where yourtreasure is.
So I think that's beautiful.
Vanessa (03:13):
Oh yeah, yeah, I'll tell you two things that come to
mind with.
That is, I think, about Lord ofthe Rings, of course, my
precious right Like kind ofhoarding and holding on to
things, and the show Hoarders,oh yeah.
Right and how people reallyjust kind of hoarding and
holding onto things and the showhoarders, oh yeah, right, and
how people really just kind ofthey, they kind of fall in love
with their things even thoughthey have been eaten up by
vermin and destroyed.
(03:35):
So those just kind of come tomind at first.
I love that, yes, andespecially.
Shay (03:39):
I'm a Lord of Rings fan and how people and especially
with the new Lord of Ringsseries on Amazon right now I
love that, especially the secondseason right now is amazing,
and how the elves and the manand all these people are
fighting over these rings andthey're putting their heart in
this treasure.
It's like, yeah, the rings havea lot of power, but there's
(03:59):
something better and bigger thanthat, exactly.
Yeah, that's good.
Vanessa (04:04):
And I think with material success, a lot of times
that's good, exactly, and youknow, and I think with material
success, a lot of times it's amirage.
I don't know about you, but Ithink when we have these selfish
pursuits you know money,success, you know things it can
set us up for disappointmentsand stress.
I don't know about you, butanytime I've tried to get
something that's kind of out ofreach, there is all this stress
(04:27):
that comes with that, becauseit's like, okay, well, how am I
going to pay for it?
You know how long is it goingto take me to get there where I
need to be to have enough forthat?
Or you have it and it breaksdown quicker than it should.
But there's always thisdisappointment and I feel like
you're always kind of longingfor more.
You're never satisfied or happywith what you have at that
(04:48):
moment.
I mean, have you been that way?
Shay (04:50):
Yeah, of course, and I think what comes to mind is
about the journey.
We don't focus on the steps thatit takes to get to that money
or that success, and then wedon't enjoy it when we have it.
You know, it's like you said forme I'm gonna speak from on my
behalf, because I'm the onlyperson I can really speak on is,
you know, I'll obtain thatsuccess, I'll make the money
(05:12):
that I had, goal wise orwhatever and then I'm like all
right, I can make more, I can dothis, instead of like sitting
back first giving honor to godand thanking, being grateful for
it, um, and then being thatcheerful giver is our intro
stated and being focused more onthat instead of the you get,
you get greedy, like it's agreed that starts to starts to
(05:34):
come on board when you're like,ooh, yay, you know my precious,
you know, like from Lord of theRings, like, ooh, I want the
ring, but I also want the powerand I want the money and I want
this, and it's like it justbuilds that in you.
And I'm sure God did that for areason, because we're human.
But if you're constantlyfocused on that, you're not
focused on God, you're notfocused on self, you're not
(05:54):
focused on family and friendsand people and kindness and
giving and, yeah, it could justbe the death of you, like
seriously.
Vanessa (06:01):
Yeah, and it can lead to a shallow sense of
fulfillment and I think we'vemet people who kind of use their
, their things and theirsuccesses to define who they are
.
You know somebody who you sitdown and they're telling you
about their, their big house, orthey're telling you about you
know their awesome car that theyhave, and it's like I asked how
you were doing.
(06:22):
I want to know about you and howthings are going, but all
you're doing is telling me aboutthese things, these things, and
to me, things do not define aperson, not at all.
So it's like how do we get awayfrom this, this sense of
fulfillment?
And it never feels like it'senough, and that's what
materialism is it's neverfeeling like you have enough.
Shay (06:42):
I know, and the word here in the notes.
It talks about how this wantingpossessions and money just
starts to control you.
That's what we're talking about.
The control it starts to takeover you and God doesn't want
that.
God doesn't want that tocontrol you or your heart, you
know.
I mean, if it's getting to thatpoint, you need to get rid of
that stuff, Right?
(07:03):
I mean it's just too much, yeah.
Vanessa (07:06):
Well, and we can miss out on God's message because
we're focused on other things.
And if we're focused on, youknow, these beautiful outfits,
or waiting in line for the newiPhone, or whatever it might be,
we can really miss out on somegood things that he has in store
for us.
Yeah, so true, so true, so trueyou know, and I think we miss
(07:27):
out on happiness and contentmentthat comes from within, and it
really doesn't depend on theseachievements that we have, and
there's just, there's so muchthat we are looking outwardly
for when we should be lookingwithin, and it's just, it's a
hard situation to be in, itreally is.
You know, I just it's a hardsituation to be in, it really is
.
Shay (07:46):
You know, I feel like there's a high that comes with
it when you're chasing the moneyand the success.
I know for at least seven yearsprobably with my time working
at the Coast Guard, when I waslike, oh, my husband's finally
out in the military and evenbeyond that with the army.
When I started there I was a GS, uh, whatever, it was 11 at the
time and then I moved up to 12,13, 14, like within four years.
(08:08):
I like people's like, oh my god, how do you feel you moved up
so fast?
And to me it was like a high.
I was chasing a high.
I was addicted to the successand to the promotions and to the
money and I I mean I feel likeI lost prime years of my life
because I was in my late 20s,30s, focused on trying to make
up for lost time quote unquotewhen my husband and I were
(08:29):
traveling around, when he was inthe military.
I was so focused on that.
When we got back to Maryland heretired, I was just like, oh my
God, I got to focus on this andI was high off of that success.
I was wanting, I was feeninglike and I, you know, for those
drug addicts out there.
I know this is like that, butthere is just an analogy, right.
(08:54):
It's just I was feening forthat success, like I needed that
hit every six months, everyyear, and it was.
It was.
It was detrimental to mespiritually, mentally and
physically, um, and I had toreally do a lot of work after I
got out of that mindset to reset, to reestablish my relationship
with God and the control giveit back over to him, because I
(09:16):
was so focused.
I mean, I guess that's whatthat mirage is right.
When you smoke weed you getlike that mir, I don't know I
smoke it, but you know you getthat mirage of what Whoa, like
you know that high.
Oh my God, like what is goingon here.
It's a temporary thing, yeah,yeah.
Vanessa (09:35):
Happiness and just being invincible.
And I think that's the big partof this is we have that feeling
and it's like we feel like,okay, we are on top of the world
, but guess what?
You know, we can go higher andwe can get higher, we can get
higher, and I think you're right, we get higher, but also higher
, like that means to win,exactly, exactly, so you're
(10:00):
always having more.
Shay (10:01):
You have to have more and more and more to have that same
more and more to have that samebaseline feeling, but then you
forget about what's important,your family, yourself, like it's
just like people are like, oh,she cares about his money and
who they think they are.
You get started to get thatjudgment coming in and, yeah,
it's just gets ugly, yeah.
Vanessa (10:19):
And I think sometimes we forget that it's okay to have
nice things.
Yes, and God wants us to havefun and to have pleasure in our
lives and all these things.
He wants those things for us,those are gifts from him, but we
have to know how to do them ina way that's honoring him and
understand that freedom and joycomes from realizing that those
(10:43):
things don't come from thingsand you know relationships here
on earth.
We have to embrace more and andkind of understand that we need
to be grateful for all of thesethings and thank him for these
things and realize they'recoming from him.
And if we can do that, I thinkthat is the first step to
(11:04):
realizing it's not here, it'sthere where we want to be
Exactly.
Shay (11:09):
I agree with that.
You know, in this fear ofmissing out, it's a real thing,
you see it everywhere.
But I think we need to be morefocused on cheerful giving,
right the selfless or selflessgiving can bring a deeper sense
of joy and satisfaction thanreceiving.
I know I just I love.
I mean I have to give it to myparents.
They both serve in differentways, whether it was the
(11:31):
military, my dad, girl Scouts,church, even with my mom dad,
church as well, like they'vealways been in service of others
and man, the.
I love giving to people, even ifit's just as simple as we're
cleaning out our house everythree months Cause I don't like
the hoard stuff and I'm going togive it to a charity or to a
purple heart or wherevergoodwill, it doesn't matter.
(11:53):
Um, because I'm, but I alwaysmake sure my stuff is in still
good quality, but I don't needit anymore.
So let's bless somebody else,or I'm contributing to church or
whatever way I am, or just afriend needs something.
Whatever it may be, it's justthe giving.
It just gives you such a.
It's just a.
That's another high, but that'sa good high.
Vanessa (12:14):
Exactly.
You know and I know you and Iboth have good examples of this.
You know, I always talk aboutmy grandpa and that is his joy
in life and I say often, whenpeople don't want to accept
things, I'm like, don't takeaway his joy.
That is his joy in life and youcan just see him light up with
this.
Just, it's amazing to see hisface.
(12:37):
He's able to do something forsomeone and that is his high,
but he's doing it in a way thathonors God and he's doing it for
God, because God has done somuch for him, so he's able to do
this.
So we need to be able torecognize those things and see
that.
You know, we can get thosefeelings and get more of those
(12:58):
feelings and better feelings ifwe follow him versus following
materialism.
Shay (13:03):
Amen and, like I was kind of already saying, like selfless
giving could be your time, yourenergy, your money, whatever
way it is, if you're giving awayand not if there's no
selfishness attached to it, itain't about you, it's about
serving others, you know, andour wants are just really false
interpretations of happiness.
(13:24):
Like let's focus on our needsand you know it's okay to want
some things.
You know you want a nice ring,you want a nice this.
That you know.
But going back to the giving,is this?
It's really important.
It just gives people a sense ofcommunity and purpose.
Vanessa (13:39):
It does, yeah, and I think something too we need to
think about is what we'reconsuming out there too, like
are we watching the Kardashians?
Are we watching the Real HouseLives?
I know, when I watch theKardashians, I feel worse about
myself.
Shay (13:54):
Oh, my God.
Vanessa (13:56):
And I feel like, oh, I need better makeup and I need to
buy some skims and I need to,you know, suck it in and do
these things and have a nice car.
And I feel like I need morethings to to meet that
expectation and that standardand I'm always comparing myself,
because Kim Kardashian and Iare the same age, and I'm like,
oh you know, if only I had whatshe had.
Shay (14:17):
I look like she does.
Vanessa (14:19):
But you know, that's not what we're supposed to be
doing.
We're not supposed to becomparing or wanting what others
have or all these things, andit's like if you're around that
constantly, I think you're goingto have more of that mindset of
I need, I need, I need.
Shay (14:33):
Yeah, my people are Beyonce and JLo, who are
gorgeous.
I mean to me is, and I hate itbecause I love Beyonce, beyonce
humble and all that.
I believe I don't know, butit's more Jennifer Lopez's body,
oh my god, like I don't know.
I've just been a fan and a girlcrush on that woman for a long
(14:55):
time, like her, and I don't likethe way she's treating men and
Ben Affleck, I'm just saying,but I don't know about it, but
still she's just a beautifulwoman.
I'll be like dang man.
She's just saying I know shegot a lot of money and resources
to keep her body looking likethat, but obviously she got some
good genes too.
But that's how I'm, like I can'twatch Jennifer Lopez too much.
(15:16):
I'd be like I'd be feeling badabout myself, so bad about
myself.
So I'm just saying, yeah, butwe watch these things and we see
these things and it makes uswant more.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
It makes you feel bad, like Idon't want to do that.
It does, it does.
And you know, really we need tomake sure that our giving and
what we're doing in life closelyaligns with our spiritual
(15:37):
teachings and what we'relearning.
Even if you're not spiritual orreligious, you know the word is.
I mean, I'm sorry, I always tryto be open to everybody,
whatever text you're reading,whatever religious beliefs you
have, but the word andChristianity is really where
it's at people.
I'm saying, I know I'm biased,but oh my God, it's so many
(15:58):
stories Like and you can get itin so many different versions of
like, and I know it's likecenturies stories like and you
can get it in so many differentversions of like, and I know
it's like centuries ago, but itreally applies to today.
And I'm telling you just theway and the power of God, if I
read the word every day, everyother week, every other month,
every other year, it alwaysapplies to my situation.
(16:19):
So I just love when I open upthe word and I'm reading
something, even if it's justlike our text today in Matthew
six, jesus teaching about money.
That applies to 2024, 2020, 60,whatever, 2063, 3075, whatever.
It always applies to what'sgoing on.
And so I say all that to saycheerful giving, oh my God, can
(16:43):
really align with your spiritualteachings and really just make
you feel good, just feel so good.
Vanessa (16:49):
Exactly, and it's nice to have those examples of what
will happen if you do and whatwill happen if you don't, or
what could happen if you do yeah, exactly.
Yeah, and I think we alwaysneed to remember you know, god
is going to provide, he's goingto give us the things that we
(17:09):
need.
We need to trust that God willprovide for our needs, and it
may not be the way you expect itto that part.
But he is going to provide forus, and I think a lot of people
have this mentality of I'm goingto, I'm going to pray and then
I'm going to give it, give it upto God and I'm going to sit
back and wait.
(17:30):
But I feel like we still haveto put work into it.
We still have to be open toreceive those blessings,
whatever they may be, because ifwe're looking for one specific
thing, we might be missing allthese other things around us
that would be better for us inthe long run because we are
sitting there waiting on the onething or we feel like we're
(17:52):
just supposed to sit back andlet it happen.
You know, I have a good exampleof this.
It doesn't really have to dowith money, but it has to do
with health.
Um, my uncle had a prostatecancer when, probably 15 years
ago and he very religious man,very strict, you know no
television, a wife, wore dresses, no makeup, girls didn't cut
(18:14):
their hair Um, he ended up withcancer and he went and had a
conversation with my grandfatherabout receiving treatment for
cancer.
And my grandfather was like,well, yeah, I had cancer and I
had treatment.
And here I am, 15 years downthe road.
You wouldn't even know I hadcancer.
(18:34):
And my uncle thought that if youbelieved and you just sat back
and let God do his work whichdoes happen it does happen that
he would be healed and thatgiving in and seeking help was
giving into the devil.
And my grandfather was like, no, god gave us doctors, god gave
(18:55):
us medication, he gave usdifferent ways to be healed and
ultimately my uncle passed awayfrom a curable cancer.
But I think sometimes we're sofocused on that one way that
we're told that we can't see theothers.
Maybe the blessing in all ofthat was he was supposed to be
there for other people goingthrough the same thing, or for
(19:17):
those doctors or nurses, butinstead, you know he sat back
and waited and fortunately youknow he left back and waited and
fortunately you know he left,which was God's plan, I'm sure,
for him in this life.
But we need to be open to theseother things we do.
Shay (19:31):
God helps those that help themselves.
I really believe God is stillin the miracle business, but
they don't come as often.
So even if you read the wordpeople, miracles happen, but
they weren't happening in everytext, every cent, every month,
every day.
Right, we have to do the work.
We have to believe.
I believe that god createddoctors and medicine and
(19:52):
spiritual healing and all thesedifferent things western eastern
medicine, whatever you believein, there is a, there is a way
and you need to search and goingback to like you saying, like
with you know you can pray onsomething, but you can't.
Just there's not there.
Again, there's prayer.
I mean there's.
There's miracles.
You can pray and then just sitand then something may happen,
(20:13):
but I say, 99.9% of the time yougot to be doing something in
between the pray and you gettingthe thing happening, like I
would think I was telling you.
We were talking about this theother day.
You know I had wrote down in mypersonal goals that I wanted to
buy a house by 2023.
And that was years ago.
And I was updating my goalsrecently because after the
(20:34):
pandemic or even during thepandemic, I wasn't updating my
personal goals as often, becauseI just felt like we were in a
standstill.
So in this week I feltmotivated to finally go back to
my personal goals, update somethings, and I was like, oh, wow,
I had wrote it down and make itplain.
That's in the Bible.
Y'all Wrote it down, made itplain.
But I worked, me and my husbandsaved, we did all kinds of
things to prepare for this housein 2023.
(20:55):
And the catalyst was,unfortunately, our dog dying,
but God knew that my dog Titandying in 2020, uh, I guess that
was two us moving forward withbuying a house was going to
happen, and it did in 2023, youknow.
So it was like, wow, we did thework and we were blessed and we
accomplished this goal.
(21:16):
And it was just a beautifulthing.
And it wasn't just me like, allright, let me write it down,
pray and just keep it moving.
Nah, we worked, we did what wehad to do and then, as the
spirit moved us after our dogdied, that part of it was us
obeying the spirit.
So it's that piece of it, too,that a lot of people don't do.
God will give you the visions,the move, the push, the
(21:39):
motivation and if you're like,whatever, lord and I've been
there.
I've been like whatever Lord, Iain't got time for you right
now.
No, you need to be obedient.
Vanessa (22:13):
Okay.
So, yeah, there's a lot to gothrough.
That Well, exactly, yeah, yeah,yeah.
(22:40):
And you know we can enjoythings, but the meaning and the
love and the joy and the thingsthat really matter need to come
from those connections.
Shay (22:52):
I agree those connections, but to me, the ultimate
connection and going back to thehouse story with God I think,
even though we saved God, we tryto sell that house on multiple
occasions over the 15 years wewere there.
But 2022, after Titan dying, usbeing obedient to him and
waiting and being still in theLord, but also looking and doing
(23:13):
our work offered us theopportunity to sell a home for
almost 200,000 more than what wethought we were going to get
for it.
And to me, that is me being meand my husband, our husband and
I being obedient because wetried.
You know we could have soldthat house if we really pushed,
but every time he gave us, wetry to.
(23:33):
We put the house on that marketthree times before the fourth
and we was like man, we ain'tnever going to get out of here.
But Nate was like no, let'shold on and even I'll go even a
little deeper and share, even bea little more transparent.
My husband at one time was like, no, we need to focus on
repairing or building thisrelationship before we move into
and buy another home.
(23:54):
So that was being obedient tomy marriage as well and to God.
And so by being obedient to Godand to my husband and to the
marriage.
That was the blessing so to me,that spiritual growth and those
meaningful connections with myhusband, putting that over a
material pursuit, was allowed usto have more, to prosper, and
(24:15):
so I love that.
It's just the beauty of it all.
God is beautiful, I agree.
I agree completely.
And you know, faith canalleviate the fear of missing
out on success and money.
Oh, my God, that part because Ihave.
I shared with Vanessa recently.
She was the only person Nate,forgive me if you even listen I
don't even know if you listen tome always buddy, but I know I
(24:36):
haven't shared with him.
The other day I was just God.
God was like you need to sayout loud your fears.
And I told Vanessa the otherday, I was like I started just
saying all of my fears out loudand he was like hello, faith,
faith can alleviate, alleviate,eliminate this fear.
(24:58):
You know the fear of missing out, the fear, whatever the fear,
fear comes from, and I was likeno wonder I have anxieties.
I had like five, six, sevenpages worth of fears.
I didn't write it down becauseI said it out loud, but still,
when I started listing them outloud.
I was like, oh my God, and Iknow so many of us out here are
dealing in fear every single day, to the point that people are
(25:19):
committing suicide because theyare afraid.
And so faith, people, faith iswhere it's at.
For your money, for your family, for your professional,
personalized faith is where it'sat.
I'm like preaching over here.
I'm sorry.
Vanessa (25:34):
No, no, but it's so true.
And fear was created by thedevil, in my opinion to keep us
down so that we don't achievethose goals that God has set for
us, and it's a way to kind ofhold us back and make us rethink
things and think, okay, well,I'm not good enough, or they're
only going to like me if I havethis or whatever those things
(25:58):
are.
So if we can get through thefear and just know, you know
what it's going to be okay, it'sgoing to be okay, it's going to
be fine, I'm going to haveenough.
I may not have everything Iwant in life, but I'm going to
have enough and so many goodthings can come from enough
Exactly, and from that faith itcomes your values.
Shay (26:19):
Think about what you truly value in life and then align
your actions with your spiritualgoals.
I mean go from your values.
I value family, I value travel,I value taking care of people,
whatever you value, hopefullyit's positive, because then you
need to go and reassess thateven more.
But what you value in life, Imean you align your actions and
(26:41):
then you'll with your spiritualgoals.
Then you will prosper.
Vanessa (26:46):
Exactly, Exactly, and think about this.
I mean, people say this all thetime, but when you are done
here in this life, you are notgoing to say, oh, I wish I had a
bigger house or more cars.
You're going to say I wish Ihad more time with my
grandchildren or I would havespent more time with my church
family or whatever that is.
It's always about thoserelationships that you missed
(27:07):
out on.
It's not about the things Wow,such a great episode.
Shay (27:12):
Any final thoughts, Vanessa?
Vanessa (27:14):
You know, I would just say the telltale sign that money
can't buy happiness is true.
Yeah, and just remember thatit's all about balance with God.
He wants us to have nice things, but he also wants us to
remember where those good thingscome from.
Amen.
Shay (27:32):
Yeah, and God is real, y'all.
That's all I'm going to say.
Thank you for another greatepisode, Vanessa.
Yeah, god is real.
Have a great day everyone.
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast, and please
(27:55):
feel free to leave us a review?
Vanessa (27:56):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired.
Shay (28:10):
And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.
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