November 7, 2024 • 29 mins
Gratitude and envy—two powerful forces shaping our lives in unexpected ways. Imagine transforming the green-eyed monster into a companion of joy. In this episode, Shay Cook and Vanessa McNelley share their personal stories and biblical insights, taking you on a journey to understand how gratitude can bring contentment and fulfillment into your daily life. Together, we'll explore why thankfulness should extend beyond the holiday season, helping you align your heart with the blessings you already have, rather than longing for what others possess.
Jealousy and envy might seem negative at first glance, but they don't have to be. Listen as we tackle these complex emotions, revealing how they can be transformed into appreciation through gratitude. By sharing experiences from various environments, we highlight how different perspectives have shaped our understanding of privilege and abundance. Cultivating gratitude can enhance your spiritual life and happiness, allowing you to celebrate others' successes without the sting of envy.
Finally, we'll delve into the meaningful intersection of religion and money. Discover how aligning your financial practices with your spiritual beliefs can lead to financial fitness and inspiration. Reflect on your financial journey and consider the impact of faith-based principles on your decisions. Through Shay and Vanessa's conversation, you'll uncover strategies to integrate gratitude into your financial life, enhancing both your monetary and spiritual well-being. Remember, it's always better Yahweh's way, and you can stay updated with us by subscribing to our podcast or visiting Crusaders4Change.org.
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Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shay (00:03):
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing
saving and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Shay (00:32):
Let's get started, hey everyone, welcome back to
another episode of Yahweh'sMoney.
I am Shay and I'm here with mygirl, Vanessa.
Vanessa (00:42):
Hey Vanessa, hey Shay, I'm glad to be here today.
Shay (00:46):
Me too, because this dang on envy conversation I've been
looking forward to, because Ihave been suffering from envy.
I've been praying on it everyday.
Lord, take this envy away fromme.
I rebuke you, devil, in thename of Jesus.
Oh, it's hard.
It's hard.
It can be hard.
Vanessa is the total oppositeof me.
She has no envy.
So we're about to have a reallygood conversation, because
(01:08):
we're on a total oppositespectrum when it comes to this,
and I love it because that'swhat it's all about.
So gratitude seems to come intoour vile vocabularies a lot more
around the holidays, but thatshouldn't be so.
In today's episode, Vanessa andI will be looking into the
power of gratitude and itsprofound impact on our lives.
(01:29):
We'll explore how thankfulnessisn't just a holiday sentiment
but a divine practice thataligns our hearts with God's
blessings, from recognizing theeveryday gifts we often overlook
to understanding how gratitudecan transform our relationship
with money.
(01:49):
We also delve into how envy,with this insatiable hunger,
stands in complete contrast togratitude.
While gratitude opens ourhearts to abundance, envy can
cloud our vision and creatediscontent.
Yes, that part.
Get ready to celebrate theabundance that comes from a
grateful heart and learn how toshift away from feelings of lack
(02:13):
, let's get started.
Yay, wow.
And we always got to start witha scripture, because that is
what we are led by the word ofGod.
So 1 Thessalonians 5, 16through 18 encourages believers
to rejoice always, praycontinually, give thanks in all
(02:34):
circumstances, for this is God'swill for you in Christ Jesus.
This highlights that gratitudeis not just a suggestion but a
command.
I think we've had thisconversation before.
Vanessa (02:46):
Yeah, definitely, definitely, and it's still.
It's a hard conversation tohave.
Shay (02:51):
It really is.
Vanessa (02:53):
And I think it's so hard for some of us to not have
that envy or that desire or thatlonging for other things, but
when we do that, we miss out onthe blessings that are right in
front of us.
And I think we forget thatgratitude is recognizing the
blessings that God has given us,and he may not give us the same
(03:13):
blessings as somebody next door.
He most likely won't.
Right, right.
So our blessings are going tobe very different and we have to
be able to see them.
So when we fixate on somebodyelse's blessings, we we have to
be able to see them.
So when we fixate on somebodyelse's blessings, we miss our
own blessings and there's somany things in this life to be
thankful for so many, so manythings.
I know we talk a lot about justdinner and cooking and eating,
(03:36):
because we like food here and wecook every day.
You know we cook whole good foodevery day and we often say, you
know, look at us, like we areable to sit down and have steak
once a week, Like that's such ablessing.
I mean, I remember the dayswhen I would get one pack of
chicken and I had to make itlast the entire week.
(03:56):
If I had meat you know if I hadmeat in my buggy?
So, there's so many things.
We have to remember thatthere's all these tiny little
blessings in our lives thatreally add up to something huge.
Shay (04:08):
You really do.
You know, from the scripturenotes of Thessalonians 5, I
think it's 16 through 18, one ofthose scriptures.
It says circumstances orfeelings.
Obeying these three commands bejoyful, never stop praying and
be thankful often goes againstour natural inclinations.
(04:30):
When we make a consciousdecision to do what God says,
however, we will begin to seepeople in a new perspective.
When we do God's will, we willfind it easier to be joyful and
thankful.
And I know that's what I foundout in probably in the last six
years since I left the CoastGuard, when I had my huge ego on
blast and that thing was not tofreak down.
(04:52):
It was like that ego was like,and then now I'm a little more
humble.
I still struggle, but just beingmore grateful and thankful and
obedient.
Number one, I'm finding it justit's easier to look at people.
You know if they have an issueor not with me.
I'm like more, I guess, openthan I used to be before.
Be like I don't want to hear it, Whatever, it's your problem,
(05:13):
right?
So that gratitude is reallyhelpful in everything you do and
, just like you said, it'srecognizing the blessings God
gives us and even though in thisneighborhood I live in a lot of
people.
We have a similar house.
We have different blessingsinside those houses, right, and
there's nothing wrong with that.
Vanessa (05:30):
There is nothing wrong with that at all, and your
heart's desires can becompletely different than that
person's too.
So it's like one person'sdesire could be to have children
and they're having a hard time.
So they have the blessings, ofthe resources to help them have
those children, or somebodyelse's blessings could be I want
to be able to take care of asick parent or be able to, you
(05:51):
know, help my, my fellow friendsand colleagues when they need
it.
So those blessings are basedoff of that desire that's in our
heart too.
So that's what we have toremember, our desires and what
God wants for our life iscompletely different than
somebody next door to usCompletely different.
And we have to remember thatgratitude can deepen our faith
and it gives us a sense of youknow, of just being able to sit
(06:14):
there and be content and notwant or long for other things.
And that's so hard, too, for alot of people to be okay with
where you're at, because we'retaught to want more in this
world.
We're taught to seek that nextlevel and to get that promotion
and get a raise and have abigger home and get a nicer car.
That's what we're taught thereality of it is is who's
(06:37):
teaching us that?
I?
Shay (06:38):
know, and why?
Right, exactly, you know,exactly.
Yeah, I mean because they wantus to have that, I mean in a
capitalist society, and it'sjust not always a bad thing, but
the bad that there's pros andcons to it.
Let me put it that way I knowpeople argue you shouldn't be in
this, like no, whatevercapitalism is unfortunately
where it is, there's pros andcons, and but you're taught that
(07:00):
so you can continue that cycleand so you get to continue to
buy into it and do that and youknow god wants us focused on him
number one and in serving hispeople.
Vanessa (07:09):
And then all of everything else comes, secondary
or tertiary, exactly, and whenwe do, that we don't have that
desire in us to get the nextbest thing or have more yeah
we're content and happy withwhere we are and that's
something.
I think a lot of people theirentire lives.
They're never content and happy.
And that would be miserable tome to always feel like I don't
(07:29):
have enough.
And I, you know, I've notreally struggled with that a lot
because I somehow, something inme, has always been like I am
blessed and I have more than Ideserve, um, but at the same
time it's like I don't know.
I've never had that thing whereit's like, okay, I want a
bigger house and I want more,and I want that we say in our
(07:50):
house a lot you may want new,but you don't need more.
So you know, that's somethingthat we have to remember that
most of us have more than weneed, yeah, more than we need.
When it comes down to it, it'sjust worldly standards.
We don't have enough.
Shay (08:08):
Yeah, and that's a struggle, because social media,
which I try to stay off ofbecause I know people I'm not
trying to shade anybody that ison social, not at all, that's
your thing.
I did that for years and itjust brought me to a very bad
headspace mentally.
I was just not seeing everybody.
You know, because everybodyputs their good stuff on social.
(08:29):
There are some people that puttheir bad stuff and like, I
don't know all that.
It's just funny because, like Iwant a mixture, I want to
balance, but it's like I rathersee the good stuff than the bad
stuff.
But what I'm saying is it'sjust like you start to see like,
oh, look at that house, look atsaying is it's just like you
start to seem like, oh, look atthat house, look at that
vacation, look at those shoes,look at that dress, look at that
bathing suit, look at that body, look at that booty, you know
all that.
It's like, uh, no, I gotta getaway from this because this is
(08:51):
too much and you know, and weneed to talk too, about like
indie versus jealousy too andindie is wanting something
someone else has and jealousy isbeing worried that someone is
going to try to take what youhave or want.
Vanessa (09:08):
So your neighbor gets a new car and you're like, oh, I
would love to have that car,it's beautiful, that's envy.
But your neighbor invites yourhusband to go for a drive in
that new car and you're worriedyour neighbor might try to take
your husband from you orwhatever it might be.
Shay (09:23):
So, it's.
Vanessa (09:24):
There's two parts to that.
Shay (09:25):
Different spirits, different jealous versus envy
spirit, yeah, and jealousydoesn't have to be malicious
either.
Vanessa (09:32):
Yeah, and you know, jealousy a lot of times can be
malicious, but but yeah envydoesn't have to be malicious.
So those are hard, hard thingsto think about too, but we can
kind of recognize those things,Um, and we live in a place where
we're we're gracious and wehave gratitude.
It can help us appreciate themany ways in which God provides
(09:53):
for us too.
Like we've been talking aboutthose tiny little things that
keep popping up.
That's what really matters, um,and it can enhance our worship
experience.
It really, really can, becausewe know what we have versus what
we're lacking.
Shay (10:10):
Yeah, that's so good.
The gratitude is where it's atFor me.
Like I said, I've been goingthrough some envy this week,
last two weeks, and it's beenhard y'all.
It really has Seeing familymembers have bigger and better
and I'm not understanding whyand I know there may be deeper
issues around it, and I'llhandle that through therapy with
(10:30):
my therapist and Vanessa,because she's been helping me
get through this, and even mydaughter and husband know too.
But I think I've shared morewith Vanessa than even those two
and it's just been really hard,you know.
But the gratitude is where thatis really an antidote, because
when I start, when my mindstarts to think about oh, they
got bigger and better, spirit islike stop, let's sit down and
(10:56):
start thinking about what youalready have, how blessed you
are like and I mean I don't evenknow what the statement is, but
I know people will say, likeman and I think you said this,
Vanessa, that you know what wehave like we are really like the
one, two, three percent ofAmerica or in the world, like we
(11:19):
are so blessed, so blessed,even though if we're not up with
the upper echelon 1%, you knowthe billion, billion
billionaires but we still are soblessed.
We not only have thenecessities.
That establishes us and keepsus there.
But you know, when you'retalking about the pyramid, what
is it?
The path, the, what's the name?
The pyramid of needs I thinkit's the Pavlov's pyramid.
(11:40):
I always get confused.
Anyway, some psychologicaltheory that I learned in school
and I can't recall right now,but the pyramid of basic
necessities.
I have all of that.
I got food, I got water, I gotclothes, I got housing, but I
have so much more than that.
And so for me to sit here andhave envy to me, it's kind of
ridiculous.
But I'm human, so I try tohonor your human.
Your flesh sometimes want totry to take over, but the spirit
(12:03):
is constantly.
So it's really that exercisinggratitude, which I know is going
to pay off in the long run, um,me going through this envy
exercise, which I hate because Ijust I'll be random, like I'll
be outside walking, having agood time exercising, and then
my mind's like, oh, you shouldhave a bigger house.
And it's like what the hell didthat come from?
(12:23):
I wasn't even thinking aboutthat.
So, yeah, it really.
All of this, you know, justrecognizing what God has, that
gratitude exercise, that's realy'all.
That's really real.
Vanessa (12:32):
It really is, you know, and when we focus on the
gratitude and we fill our spiritand our mind and our hearts
with gratitude, there is no roomfor envy.
You know there's no room forthat envy to take over, because
you are full of thankfulness andgratitude and you are happy and
you can be happy for otherpeople and that they have these
(12:52):
amazing things.
But when it comes down to it, Imean I have a roof over my head
, you know.
I have food on my table.
I have, you know, savings incase something were to happen.
I am so blessed in this world.
And there's so many things Ihave, you know, savings in case
something were to happen.
I am so blessed in this worldand there's so many things that
I have that somebody else wouldgive anything for, and we have
to remember that, that most ofus are in that position that
(13:13):
somebody else would do anythingto be where we're at.
Shay (13:17):
Yeah.
Vanessa (13:18):
Yeah, and you know, and I've lived in other places.
You've lived in other placesand I've lived in places where
we didn't have water three orfour days a week, or we didn't
have power the same amount oftime.
And for us here it's like, ohmy gosh, that's a need and it's
a necessity.
We have to have Wi-Fi 24-7.
And the reality of it is, nope,those are all gifts, exactly.
(13:38):
Sure, having access to water todrink, yes, but being able to,
you know, take a hot shower andflush the commode and whatever
it might be.
Shay (13:47):
Those are so true, those are so.
Running water is a gift.
We have family members, I'msure, on both our sides that did
not have that.
Growing up, I had to go into anouthouse to use, or just out in
the woods to use, the bathroom,then have access to great
toilet tissue, like the listgoes on right.
(14:07):
Sometimes I'll just I mean a lotof times through the week, if
I'm doing my gratitude exercisein the morning or afternoon or
during the day, I'm like,thankful, like thank you, lord,
for this toilet, this goodcotton towel, toilet tissue,
these paper towels, all of thisstuff.
Running water that it gets hot.
You know, like I mean peopledon't have this y'all Like.
Vanessa (14:27):
I mean it's crazy.
I mean I think I've toldstories about, you know, dying
my hair and then realizing mywater was not on that day,
because it was just one of thosedays in Puerto.
Rico and thankfully I had likesaved up water and I was able to
rinse my hair out.
But you know, these things andand all these things happen.
And when that happened, my mom,when she passed away, she
(14:47):
wanted to build a water well,that she wanted that to be.
Her legacy was to have a waterwell somewhere in a village,
somewhere she didn't care where,that they had access and they
didn't have to walk two hours tocarry it back.
And that day it was like whenthat happened to me and I
realized, oh my gosh, this is ablessing to have access to this.
(15:11):
You know, somebody was put inmy path that did that and we
were able to build like 12 wellsin Cambodia.
You know, through her, herlegacy, and it's like those
things matter you know, me,having a new car does not matter
.
Shay (15:25):
Yeah, exactly if we're moving on to emotional
well-being.
You know, focusing on what we,or what we are grateful for,
creates a more positive andresilient mindset, and I think
we've kind of already talkedabout this, but I mean, I'll go
a little deeper again in mygratitude exercises.
When I'm focused on either, theego is out of control, I'm not
(15:48):
as humble.
Oh man, man, the list goes on.
The envy, the jealousy, tryingto, you know, thinking about
what other people's has,obviously the envy.
I mean, the list goes on.
Just, you know, there's a lotof jealousy sometimes seeing
people that are super happy andjust living their life like it's
golden and it's like are theyreally, though, but that's again
(16:11):
, social media can really causea lot of issues.
So just thinking about all ofthat, you know, being grateful,
can really help you be positiveand just help you keep that
resilience up Like all right andjust be able to fight against
the demons that are there, youknow, yeah, and bringing up, you
know, the social media aspect.
Vanessa (16:30):
We're seeing a snippet, we're seeing a moment in time
and the reality of it is is okay.
Well, they're maxed out ontheir credit cards.
They, you know, got into a hugefight with their spouse because
their spouse doesn't want themto buy this big thing they
wanted.
So they've not talked in a week.
You know all these things behindthe scenes, they're stressed
and they're having to work morehours to keep up with the
payments that are coming in.
(16:50):
And if you don't buy into allthat and you can sit back and
say I'm good, like, yes, I workhard and yes, I have these
things and I've planned, and Ithink that's a lot of it, too,
is planning and making sureyou're in that spot where you
know you're not you're notSuperman and things you know are
not going to never be able totouch you.
But you have some armor aroundyou, yeah, and that helps you to
(17:13):
kind of see the bigger picturewith things.
Shay (17:16):
Exactly and I mean it helps you.
You know if you get youremotional wellbeing.
If you do, you know I alwayssay people we got to get, we
have to take care of our mentalhealth.
We have to our mental, ouremotional wellbeing, our mental
wellbeing.
Like we go to the doctor forthe physical Hopefully you're
talking to financial counselors,like Crusaders for Change for
(17:36):
your finances, but people alwaysforget about the mental health
piece of it.
And you know if you're takingcare of that, if you're being
grateful, you know you canreally help to decrease the
feelings of envy, of resentment,of frustrating, leading to a
peaceful heart.
We all want peace, right?
I hope so.
If you don't, something's wrongwith you.
But that peace is the gratitudecan really lead you to being
(18:00):
peaceful.
And that's what I see when Iagain keep going back to the
gratitude and I'm thinking, whenthis envy just pops up out of
nowhere and I sit back and I'mgrateful, then I come down off
of that craziness, high andfrustration and resentment and
then I'm grateful.
Then I come down off of thatcraziness, high and frustration
and resentment and then I'm Zen,peaceful, namaste, right and
when you, when you see this andyou you have somebody in your
(18:22):
life that kind of exudes.
Vanessa (18:24):
This example is so beautiful, Like, absolutely Like
probably going to get tearyeyed, but my mother, she she is
the first person that comes intomy mind with this.
So my mother had cancer for 16years.
That is a long time to be sickand everybody outside of her was
like, oh you know, it must beawful to be in pain all the time
(18:45):
.
And to, you know, to to knowthat you're dying, and to to not
have this and not have that.
And it was always negative,negative, negative, like she
should be more down than she was.
And her replies were always ifI would have given up, I would
have missed out on the birth ofmy granddaughter and having a
relationship with her and theseamazing experiences that we had
(19:06):
over the last 16 years.
So it's like if we can focus onthe good that comes out of that.
So, yes, she was sick.
Yes, she had, you know, painand had surgeries and all these
things, but because she was here, we got to do all these amazing
things and build those memoriesthat last and that leads to a
peaceful heart too.
Shay (19:26):
Exactly, and Yvonne obviously did a great job
raising you and leaving a legacyand I felt like I know her
through you, so obviously she'sstill alive in you.
And wow, what a blessing Cause.
Most of us don't have that.
We don't have that parent thatexudes that positivity Like I
ain't trying to call outnobody's parents, including my
(19:48):
own, but most of us don't.
Most of us don't have that.
And so, wow, and that's atestament.
16 years yeah, that must'vebeen crazy having cancer for
that long, but because sheremained positive, she got to
still stay here and bless youguys with that 16 years Cause it
could have been six months, itcould have been six days, six
hours.
(20:08):
If she had given in, if she wasnegative and she was doing what
all those people were sayingshe should have did, she
wouldn't have lived that longand so and be able to leave, and
Shay Cook would never probablymet Vanessa, because you would
have been a different person,yeah.
Vanessa (20:24):
She had 16 years of gratitude which then kind of you
know melted over into me andtook her circle, because we all
had gratitude.
Shay (20:34):
Oh, wow.
Vanessa (20:34):
Versus having envy because so-and-so wasn't sick or
so-and-so didn't have that.
But yeah, it really spills overinto your community when you
have that gratitude.
Shay (20:45):
I love that.
I love that, oh Lord, and, yeah, you know, just shifting our
focus from what we don't have tothe blessing that we do have,
enhancing our resilience, as wekind of talked about.
You're focused on the good,even during challenging times.
And again, man, it's been somechallenging times with me.
I've been dealing with somemental stuff, like I haven't
(21:05):
talked to my therapist yet and Italked to her a few weeks,
weeks, months ago, but not aboutthe specific envy stuff,
because I wanted to talk to youguys on this podcast, with
Vanessa with it, but also justhave time with God to so he can
build up my resilience.
Because you know what, ooh, Ijust got a revelation just that
quick.
If I'm, if I'm, feeling envyover a family member, how, oh my
(21:30):
God, as this business grows, asmy life grows and does great
things, there's going to betimes where I'm like, oh my God,
as this business grows, as mylife grows and does great things
, there's going to be timeswhere I'm like, oh, wish we had
that 500 million, thousand,million, billions of dollars,
right.
And so I think he's preparingthat resilience in me, that
strong heart and faith, so I canbe prepared to take even us to
the next level with thisbusiness.
(21:51):
All of this comes together.
So, even though I've beensitting the last two weeks like
Lord, why am I dealing with thisenvy?
He, just in this moment, isshowing me why.
Because if you can get throughthis, I'm going to take you to
the next level.
Then you're going to haveanother challenge and then, if
you can get through that, I'mgoing to take you to the next
level.
So he's wanting us to bless usthrough even our challenges,
like he uses all of this for ourgood.
(22:12):
So, true, all of this.
Vanessa (22:18):
It's so true Because if we can get through today and
get through this situation, youknow there's going to be another
hard time there's going to beanother time that comes, that
might be even, you know, threedegrees harder than it is right
now.
But, if we can work through it.
It's just like, just likeexercising, you know the more
you do, the stronger you get.
Shay (22:33):
Exactly.
Vanessa (22:33):
And it's not because we're being punished or tested,
it's just, that's life.
And there's these negativitiesthat happen in life and they're
not from God not at all, but hewants to make sure we're
prepared for them, so that weknow how to handle them.
Shay (22:46):
And that's a blessing.
It is totally a blessing,because envy can really breed
negativity and dissatisfaction,as we talked about earlier, and
I don't want to be dissatisfied,I don't want to be negative.
I don't want to be out herelike, oh, woe is me, woe is me,
I ain't got time for that.
Like, that's just not mypersonality anyway.
Like, okay, good for you, I'mgood and happy you have all that
, but God has given me myspecific Shay Cook blessing.
Vanessa (23:11):
Okay, I don't want your blessing, abc or you, you know,
I want my blessing Yep andthose people are exhausting, by
the way, that are just full ofnegativity and dissatisfaction,
like I mean, I have one personin my life that comes, you know,
comes to mind and sometimes Ihave to take breaks from them
because it is always justnegative, negative, negative and
(23:34):
that is.
Oh my goodness, it is so hardon your spirit and your soul
when it is just like negativeall the time.
And I know there was a time Iwas around this person for a
little bit and somebody theyknew was like you sound like
blah, blah, blah and it was likeoh no, I do not want this to
happen, so you have to take astep back and reevaluate, and
(23:56):
readjust yeah, he'll keep inyour circle, um, because I don't
want to be that person either.
Shay (24:01):
Boundaries are real y'all.
Man, you gotta have thoseboundaries, cause sometimes it'd
be like I don't know how youeven live in your old life, and
when you around me, I'mexhausted.
I can only imagine howexhausted you are and you wonder
why you got so many elements.
Anyways, that part, exactly,exactly, yeah, yeah.
Vanessa (24:18):
But you know, gratitude can also encourage generosity.
Shay (24:23):
And.
Vanessa (24:23):
I think this is a similar theme.
When you just allow that thatheart of yours to be opened up
and just to be there for otherpeople and to be there for God,
like we to to be there for otherpeople and to be there for for
God, like we're supposed to bethere, like he's there for us.
We understand the blessingsthat we have and we see the
struggles of others and that canlead us to helping more people.
(24:44):
And if we were on the otherside of this, we would say, well
, you know what.
They didn't earn it, you knowthey're the ones who didn't go
to work today.
Or you know, if they would havereally tried, they would have
got this, that or the other.
But it's when we, when we havethat, that openness and
gratitude, we see that, you knowthat may not be their fault or
(25:07):
their problem, or maybe itdoesn't even matter why they
don't have right, I have, so Ican help.
(25:33):
And you know, and when we'rethankful for what we receive, we
can always want to return thefavor.
And I remember growing up mydad, he would always try to help
somebody or give them fivebucks, or whatever the situation
like we, even in a camper on mydad's land and you know he was
a Vietnam vet my dad wouldalways give him, you know, five,
10 bucks here and people werealways chastising my dad because
they were like you know, boo'sjust going to use that for beer
and cigarettes, right?
And my dad's answer was that'snot for me to decide, and if
that's, what it takes for him toget through his day.
That's what it takes, and youknow, that to me is the perfect
(25:54):
answer, because it's not on usand that's taken that back from
God too, because we're notgiving freely.
Shay (26:01):
And we give freely with love, we don't care.
Vanessa (26:03):
when it leaves our hands, it leaves our hands.
Shay (26:05):
It's not your responsibility, it's not even
for you to care.
Exactly that's when you leadthat up to God.
You ain't.
Vanessa (26:09):
God, but we can be there to love and support and to
bring that kindness aspect,exactly, yeah, and you find joy
in giving.
Shay (26:16):
I mean, recognizing that our blessings come from God can
inspire us to give back as aform of worship or service, and
really envy can lead toselfishness and a focus on
scarcity.
So you're always like, oh, Igot to get this, I got to get
that, you know.
Like now, focus on theblessings.
Like, oh, I gotta get this, Igotta get that, you know.
Like now, focus on theblessings.
It ain't your responsibility tofigure out why what somebody's
(26:36):
gonna use their money on or no,just give.
Like Vanessa saying, givefreely.
It's such a blessing to be ableto give freely, because I'm
telling you and you shouldn't begiven to receive, but I'm
telling y'all you're gonna,you're gonna receive and I'm not
talking about and just money.
I'm gonna going to say, oh, Igave $20.
I'm going to give $40.
No, you might.
The blessings and the favor andthe peace, oh, that is
(26:59):
priceless.
That is priceless.
And so I want to give and giveand give Because, like you said,
it's not always about money too.
It could be time, it could beenergy, it could be knowledge,
it could be whatever.
Love you know, love, love, love, you know.
So that is just beautiful, justabsolutely beautiful.
Yeah, wow, any final thoughts?
Vanessa (27:25):
You know, I would just say give when you can and open
your heart up and be graciousand be you know be full of
gratitude and be thankful forthe tiny things.
Be thankful you woke up thismorning and you were able to
make a good cup of coffee.
Shay (27:34):
I mean that is a blessing.
Vanessa (27:37):
I haven't had no coffee yet, but yes, Remember those
little things are all gifts andthose little things add up to
something amazing.
Shay (27:44):
And I want to end with Proverbs 1430, which states a
tranquil heart gives life to theflesh, but envy makes the bones
rot.
And in a new, livingtranslation it says a tranquil
heart gives life to the flesh,but envy makes the bones rot.
And in a new, livingtranslation, it says a peaceful
heart leads to a healthy body.
Jealousy is like cancer in thebones.
So in an honor of Yvonne, whowas living with a peaceful heart
(28:07):
, even though she had cancer,she was still healthy in her
spirit, she had gratitude, shehad love.
And she was still healthy inher spirit, she had gratitude,
she had love, and she was 16years.
Y'all Like.
That ain't nothing but ablessing.
And may she rest in holy peacein heaven.
And just thank you for joiningus today, wonderful day.
(28:28):
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast and please
feel free to leave us a review.
Vanessa (28:45):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at www.
crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired.
Shay (28:58):
And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing
saving and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Shay (00:32):
Let's get started, hey everyone, welcome back to
another episode of Yahweh'sMoney.
I am Shay and I'm here with mygirl, Vanessa.
Vanessa (00:42):
Hey Vanessa, hey Shay, I'm glad to be here today.
Shay (00:46):
Me too, because this dang on envy conversation I've been
looking forward to, because Ihave been suffering from envy.
I've been praying on it everyday.
Lord, take this envy away fromme.
I rebuke you, devil, in thename of Jesus.
Oh, it's hard.
It's hard.
It can be hard.
Vanessa is the total oppositeof me.
She has no envy.
So we're about to have a reallygood conversation, because
(01:08):
we're on a total oppositespectrum when it comes to this,
and I love it because that'swhat it's all about.
So gratitude seems to come intoour vile vocabularies a lot more
around the holidays, but thatshouldn't be so.
In today's episode, Vanessa andI will be looking into the
power of gratitude and itsprofound impact on our lives.
(01:29):
We'll explore how thankfulnessisn't just a holiday sentiment
but a divine practice thataligns our hearts with God's
blessings, from recognizing theeveryday gifts we often overlook
to understanding how gratitudecan transform our relationship
with money.
(01:49):
We also delve into how envy,with this insatiable hunger,
stands in complete contrast togratitude.
While gratitude opens ourhearts to abundance, envy can
cloud our vision and creatediscontent.
Yes, that part.
Get ready to celebrate theabundance that comes from a
grateful heart and learn how toshift away from feelings of lack
(02:13):
, let's get started.
Yay, wow.
And we always got to start witha scripture, because that is
what we are led by the word ofGod.
So 1 Thessalonians 5, 16through 18 encourages believers
to rejoice always, praycontinually, give thanks in all
(02:34):
circumstances, for this is God'swill for you in Christ Jesus.
This highlights that gratitudeis not just a suggestion but a
command.
I think we've had thisconversation before.
Vanessa (02:46):
Yeah, definitely, definitely, and it's still.
It's a hard conversation tohave.
Shay (02:51):
It really is.
Vanessa (02:53):
And I think it's so hard for some of us to not have
that envy or that desire or thatlonging for other things, but
when we do that, we miss out onthe blessings that are right in
front of us.
And I think we forget thatgratitude is recognizing the
blessings that God has given us,and he may not give us the same
(03:13):
blessings as somebody next door.
He most likely won't.
Right, right.
So our blessings are going tobe very different and we have to
be able to see them.
So when we fixate on somebodyelse's blessings, we we have to
be able to see them.
So when we fixate on somebodyelse's blessings, we miss our
own blessings and there's somany things in this life to be
thankful for so many, so manythings.
I know we talk a lot about justdinner and cooking and eating,
(03:36):
because we like food here and wecook every day.
You know we cook whole good foodevery day and we often say, you
know, look at us, like we areable to sit down and have steak
once a week, Like that's such ablessing.
I mean, I remember the dayswhen I would get one pack of
chicken and I had to make itlast the entire week.
(03:56):
If I had meat you know if I hadmeat in my buggy?
So, there's so many things.
We have to remember thatthere's all these tiny little
blessings in our lives thatreally add up to something huge.
Shay (04:08):
You really do.
You know, from the scripturenotes of Thessalonians 5, I
think it's 16 through 18, one ofthose scriptures.
It says circumstances orfeelings.
Obeying these three commands bejoyful, never stop praying and
be thankful often goes againstour natural inclinations.
(04:30):
When we make a consciousdecision to do what God says,
however, we will begin to seepeople in a new perspective.
When we do God's will, we willfind it easier to be joyful and
thankful.
And I know that's what I foundout in probably in the last six
years since I left the CoastGuard, when I had my huge ego on
blast and that thing was not tofreak down.
(04:52):
It was like that ego was like,and then now I'm a little more
humble.
I still struggle, but just beingmore grateful and thankful and
obedient.
Number one, I'm finding it justit's easier to look at people.
You know if they have an issueor not with me.
I'm like more, I guess, openthan I used to be before.
Be like I don't want to hear it, Whatever, it's your problem,
(05:13):
right?
So that gratitude is reallyhelpful in everything you do and
, just like you said, it'srecognizing the blessings God
gives us and even though in thisneighborhood I live in a lot of
people.
We have a similar house.
We have different blessingsinside those houses, right, and
there's nothing wrong with that.
Vanessa (05:30):
There is nothing wrong with that at all, and your
heart's desires can becompletely different than that
person's too.
So it's like one person'sdesire could be to have children
and they're having a hard time.
So they have the blessings, ofthe resources to help them have
those children, or somebodyelse's blessings could be I want
to be able to take care of asick parent or be able to, you
(05:51):
know, help my, my fellow friendsand colleagues when they need
it.
So those blessings are basedoff of that desire that's in our
heart too.
So that's what we have toremember, our desires and what
God wants for our life iscompletely different than
somebody next door to usCompletely different.
And we have to remember thatgratitude can deepen our faith
and it gives us a sense of youknow, of just being able to sit
(06:14):
there and be content and notwant or long for other things.
And that's so hard, too, for alot of people to be okay with
where you're at, because we'retaught to want more in this
world.
We're taught to seek that nextlevel and to get that promotion
and get a raise and have abigger home and get a nicer car.
That's what we're taught thereality of it is is who's
(06:37):
teaching us that?
I?
Shay (06:38):
know, and why?
Right, exactly, you know,exactly.
Yeah, I mean because they wantus to have that, I mean in a
capitalist society, and it'sjust not always a bad thing, but
the bad that there's pros andcons to it.
Let me put it that way I knowpeople argue you shouldn't be in
this, like no, whatevercapitalism is unfortunately
where it is, there's pros andcons, and but you're taught that
(07:00):
so you can continue that cycleand so you get to continue to
buy into it and do that and youknow god wants us focused on him
number one and in serving hispeople.
Vanessa (07:09):
And then all of everything else comes, secondary
or tertiary, exactly, and whenwe do, that we don't have that
desire in us to get the nextbest thing or have more yeah
we're content and happy withwhere we are and that's
something.
I think a lot of people theirentire lives.
They're never content and happy.
And that would be miserable tome to always feel like I don't
(07:29):
have enough.
And I, you know, I've notreally struggled with that a lot
because I somehow, something inme, has always been like I am
blessed and I have more than Ideserve, um, but at the same
time it's like I don't know.
I've never had that thing whereit's like, okay, I want a
bigger house and I want more,and I want that we say in our
(07:50):
house a lot you may want new,but you don't need more.
So you know, that's somethingthat we have to remember that
most of us have more than weneed, yeah, more than we need.
When it comes down to it, it'sjust worldly standards.
We don't have enough.
Shay (08:08):
Yeah, and that's a struggle, because social media,
which I try to stay off ofbecause I know people I'm not
trying to shade anybody that ison social, not at all, that's
your thing.
I did that for years and itjust brought me to a very bad
headspace mentally.
I was just not seeing everybody.
You know, because everybodyputs their good stuff on social.
(08:29):
There are some people that puttheir bad stuff and like, I
don't know all that.
It's just funny because, like Iwant a mixture, I want to
balance, but it's like I rathersee the good stuff than the bad
stuff.
But what I'm saying is it'sjust like you start to see like,
oh, look at that house, look atsaying is it's just like you
start to seem like, oh, look atthat house, look at that
vacation, look at those shoes,look at that dress, look at that
bathing suit, look at that body, look at that booty, you know
all that.
It's like, uh, no, I gotta getaway from this because this is
(08:51):
too much and you know, and weneed to talk too, about like
indie versus jealousy too andindie is wanting something
someone else has and jealousy isbeing worried that someone is
going to try to take what youhave or want.
Vanessa (09:08):
So your neighbor gets a new car and you're like, oh, I
would love to have that car,it's beautiful, that's envy.
But your neighbor invites yourhusband to go for a drive in
that new car and you're worriedyour neighbor might try to take
your husband from you orwhatever it might be.
Shay (09:23):
So, it's.
Vanessa (09:24):
There's two parts to that.
Shay (09:25):
Different spirits, different jealous versus envy
spirit, yeah, and jealousydoesn't have to be malicious
either.
Vanessa (09:32):
Yeah, and you know, jealousy a lot of times can be
malicious, but but yeah envydoesn't have to be malicious.
So those are hard, hard thingsto think about too, but we can
kind of recognize those things,Um, and we live in a place where
we're we're gracious and wehave gratitude.
It can help us appreciate themany ways in which God provides
(09:53):
for us too.
Like we've been talking aboutthose tiny little things that
keep popping up.
That's what really matters, um,and it can enhance our worship
experience.
It really, really can, becausewe know what we have versus what
we're lacking.
Shay (10:10):
Yeah, that's so good.
The gratitude is where it's atFor me.
Like I said, I've been goingthrough some envy this week,
last two weeks, and it's beenhard y'all.
It really has Seeing familymembers have bigger and better
and I'm not understanding whyand I know there may be deeper
issues around it, and I'llhandle that through therapy with
(10:30):
my therapist and Vanessa,because she's been helping me
get through this, and even mydaughter and husband know too.
But I think I've shared morewith Vanessa than even those two
and it's just been really hard,you know.
But the gratitude is where thatis really an antidote, because
when I start, when my mindstarts to think about oh, they
got bigger and better, spirit islike stop, let's sit down and
(10:56):
start thinking about what youalready have, how blessed you
are like and I mean I don't evenknow what the statement is, but
I know people will say, likeman and I think you said this,
Vanessa, that you know what wehave like we are really like the
one, two, three percent ofAmerica or in the world, like we
(11:19):
are so blessed, so blessed,even though if we're not up with
the upper echelon 1%, you knowthe billion, billion
billionaires but we still are soblessed.
We not only have thenecessities.
That establishes us and keepsus there.
But you know, when you'retalking about the pyramid, what
is it?
The path, the, what's the name?
The pyramid of needs I thinkit's the Pavlov's pyramid.
(11:40):
I always get confused.
Anyway, some psychologicaltheory that I learned in school
and I can't recall right now,but the pyramid of basic
necessities.
I have all of that.
I got food, I got water, I gotclothes, I got housing, but I
have so much more than that.
And so for me to sit here andhave envy to me, it's kind of
ridiculous.
But I'm human, so I try tohonor your human.
Your flesh sometimes want totry to take over, but the spirit
(12:03):
is constantly.
So it's really that exercisinggratitude, which I know is going
to pay off in the long run, um,me going through this envy
exercise, which I hate because Ijust I'll be random, like I'll
be outside walking, having agood time exercising, and then
my mind's like, oh, you shouldhave a bigger house.
And it's like what the hell didthat come from?
(12:23):
I wasn't even thinking aboutthat.
So, yeah, it really.
All of this, you know, justrecognizing what God has, that
gratitude exercise, that's realy'all.
That's really real.
Vanessa (12:32):
It really is, you know, and when we focus on the
gratitude and we fill our spiritand our mind and our hearts
with gratitude, there is no roomfor envy.
You know there's no room forthat envy to take over, because
you are full of thankfulness andgratitude and you are happy and
you can be happy for otherpeople and that they have these
(12:52):
amazing things.
But when it comes down to it, Imean I have a roof over my head
, you know.
I have food on my table.
I have, you know, savings incase something were to happen.
I am so blessed in this world.
And there's so many things Ihave, you know, savings in case
something were to happen.
I am so blessed in this worldand there's so many things that
I have that somebody else wouldgive anything for, and we have
to remember that, that most ofus are in that position that
(13:13):
somebody else would do anythingto be where we're at.
Shay (13:17):
Yeah.
Vanessa (13:18):
Yeah, and you know, and I've lived in other places.
You've lived in other placesand I've lived in places where
we didn't have water three orfour days a week, or we didn't
have power the same amount oftime.
And for us here it's like, ohmy gosh, that's a need and it's
a necessity.
We have to have Wi-Fi 24-7.
And the reality of it is, nope,those are all gifts, exactly.
(13:38):
Sure, having access to water todrink, yes, but being able to,
you know, take a hot shower andflush the commode and whatever
it might be.
Shay (13:47):
Those are so true, those are so.
Running water is a gift.
We have family members, I'msure, on both our sides that did
not have that.
Growing up, I had to go into anouthouse to use, or just out in
the woods to use, the bathroom,then have access to great
toilet tissue, like the listgoes on right.
(14:07):
Sometimes I'll just I mean a lotof times through the week, if
I'm doing my gratitude exercisein the morning or afternoon or
during the day, I'm like,thankful, like thank you, lord,
for this toilet, this goodcotton towel, toilet tissue,
these paper towels, all of thisstuff.
Running water that it gets hot.
You know, like I mean peopledon't have this y'all Like.
Vanessa (14:27):
I mean it's crazy.
I mean I think I've toldstories about, you know, dying
my hair and then realizing mywater was not on that day,
because it was just one of thosedays in Puerto.
Rico and thankfully I had likesaved up water and I was able to
rinse my hair out.
But you know, these things andand all these things happen.
And when that happened, my mom,when she passed away, she
(14:47):
wanted to build a water well,that she wanted that to be.
Her legacy was to have a waterwell somewhere in a village,
somewhere she didn't care where,that they had access and they
didn't have to walk two hours tocarry it back.
And that day it was like whenthat happened to me and I
realized, oh my gosh, this is ablessing to have access to this.
(15:11):
You know, somebody was put inmy path that did that and we
were able to build like 12 wellsin Cambodia.
You know, through her, herlegacy, and it's like those
things matter you know, me,having a new car does not matter
.
Shay (15:25):
Yeah, exactly if we're moving on to emotional
well-being.
You know, focusing on what we,or what we are grateful for,
creates a more positive andresilient mindset, and I think
we've kind of already talkedabout this, but I mean, I'll go
a little deeper again in mygratitude exercises.
When I'm focused on either, theego is out of control, I'm not
(15:48):
as humble.
Oh man, man, the list goes on.
The envy, the jealousy, tryingto, you know, thinking about
what other people's has,obviously the envy.
I mean, the list goes on.
Just, you know, there's a lotof jealousy sometimes seeing
people that are super happy andjust living their life like it's
golden and it's like are theyreally, though, but that's again
(16:11):
, social media can really causea lot of issues.
So just thinking about all ofthat, you know, being grateful,
can really help you be positiveand just help you keep that
resilience up Like all right andjust be able to fight against
the demons that are there, youknow, yeah, and bringing up, you
know, the social media aspect.
Vanessa (16:30):
We're seeing a snippet, we're seeing a moment in time
and the reality of it is is okay.
Well, they're maxed out ontheir credit cards.
They, you know, got into a hugefight with their spouse because
their spouse doesn't want themto buy this big thing they
wanted.
So they've not talked in a week.
You know all these things behindthe scenes, they're stressed
and they're having to work morehours to keep up with the
payments that are coming in.
(16:50):
And if you don't buy into allthat and you can sit back and
say I'm good, like, yes, I workhard and yes, I have these
things and I've planned, and Ithink that's a lot of it, too,
is planning and making sureyou're in that spot where you
know you're not you're notSuperman and things you know are
not going to never be able totouch you.
But you have some armor aroundyou, yeah, and that helps you to
(17:13):
kind of see the bigger picturewith things.
Shay (17:16):
Exactly and I mean it helps you.
You know if you get youremotional wellbeing.
If you do, you know I alwayssay people we got to get, we
have to take care of our mentalhealth.
We have to our mental, ouremotional wellbeing, our mental
wellbeing.
Like we go to the doctor forthe physical Hopefully you're
talking to financial counselors,like Crusaders for Change for
(17:36):
your finances, but people alwaysforget about the mental health
piece of it.
And you know if you're takingcare of that, if you're being
grateful, you know you canreally help to decrease the
feelings of envy, of resentment,of frustrating, leading to a
peaceful heart.
We all want peace, right?
I hope so.
If you don't, something's wrongwith you.
But that peace is the gratitudecan really lead you to being
(18:00):
peaceful.
And that's what I see when Iagain keep going back to the
gratitude and I'm thinking, whenthis envy just pops up out of
nowhere and I sit back and I'mgrateful, then I come down off
of that craziness, high andfrustration and resentment and
then I'm grateful.
Then I come down off of thatcraziness, high and frustration
and resentment and then I'm Zen,peaceful, namaste, right and
when you, when you see this andyou you have somebody in your
(18:22):
life that kind of exudes.
Vanessa (18:24):
This example is so beautiful, Like, absolutely Like
probably going to get tearyeyed, but my mother, she she is
the first person that comes intomy mind with this.
So my mother had cancer for 16years.
That is a long time to be sickand everybody outside of her was
like, oh you know, it must beawful to be in pain all the time
(18:45):
.
And to, you know, to to knowthat you're dying, and to to not
have this and not have that.
And it was always negative,negative, negative, like she
should be more down than she was.
And her replies were always ifI would have given up, I would
have missed out on the birth ofmy granddaughter and having a
relationship with her and theseamazing experiences that we had
(19:06):
over the last 16 years.
So it's like if we can focus onthe good that comes out of that.
So, yes, she was sick.
Yes, she had, you know, painand had surgeries and all these
things, but because she was here, we got to do all these amazing
things and build those memoriesthat last and that leads to a
peaceful heart too.
Shay (19:26):
Exactly, and Yvonne obviously did a great job
raising you and leaving a legacyand I felt like I know her
through you, so obviously she'sstill alive in you.
And wow, what a blessing Cause.
Most of us don't have that.
We don't have that parent thatexudes that positivity Like I
ain't trying to call outnobody's parents, including my
(19:48):
own, but most of us don't.
Most of us don't have that.
And so, wow, and that's atestament.
16 years yeah, that must'vebeen crazy having cancer for
that long, but because sheremained positive, she got to
still stay here and bless youguys with that 16 years Cause it
could have been six months, itcould have been six days, six
hours.
(20:08):
If she had given in, if she wasnegative and she was doing what
all those people were sayingshe should have did, she
wouldn't have lived that longand so and be able to leave, and
Shay Cook would never probablymet Vanessa, because you would
have been a different person,yeah.
Vanessa (20:24):
She had 16 years of gratitude which then kind of you
know melted over into me andtook her circle, because we all
had gratitude.
Shay (20:34):
Oh, wow.
Vanessa (20:34):
Versus having envy because so-and-so wasn't sick or
so-and-so didn't have that.
But yeah, it really spills overinto your community when you
have that gratitude.
Shay (20:45):
I love that.
I love that, oh Lord, and, yeah, you know, just shifting our
focus from what we don't have tothe blessing that we do have,
enhancing our resilience, as wekind of talked about.
You're focused on the good,even during challenging times.
And again, man, it's been somechallenging times with me.
I've been dealing with somemental stuff, like I haven't
(21:05):
talked to my therapist yet and Italked to her a few weeks,
weeks, months ago, but not aboutthe specific envy stuff,
because I wanted to talk to youguys on this podcast, with
Vanessa with it, but also justhave time with God to so he can
build up my resilience.
Because you know what, ooh, Ijust got a revelation just that
quick.
If I'm, if I'm, feeling envyover a family member, how, oh my
(21:30):
God, as this business grows, asmy life grows and does great
things, there's going to betimes where I'm like, oh my God,
as this business grows, as mylife grows and does great things
, there's going to be timeswhere I'm like, oh, wish we had
that 500 million, thousand,million, billions of dollars,
right.
And so I think he's preparingthat resilience in me, that
strong heart and faith, so I canbe prepared to take even us to
the next level with thisbusiness.
(21:51):
All of this comes together.
So, even though I've beensitting the last two weeks like
Lord, why am I dealing with thisenvy?
He, just in this moment, isshowing me why.
Because if you can get throughthis, I'm going to take you to
the next level.
Then you're going to haveanother challenge and then, if
you can get through that, I'mgoing to take you to the next
level.
So he's wanting us to bless usthrough even our challenges,
like he uses all of this for ourgood.
(22:12):
So, true, all of this.
Vanessa (22:18):
It's so true Because if we can get through today and
get through this situation, youknow there's going to be another
hard time there's going to beanother time that comes, that
might be even, you know, threedegrees harder than it is right
now.
But, if we can work through it.
It's just like, just likeexercising, you know the more
you do, the stronger you get.
Shay (22:33):
Exactly.
Vanessa (22:33):
And it's not because we're being punished or tested,
it's just, that's life.
And there's these negativitiesthat happen in life and they're
not from God not at all, but hewants to make sure we're
prepared for them, so that weknow how to handle them.
Shay (22:46):
And that's a blessing.
It is totally a blessing,because envy can really breed
negativity and dissatisfaction,as we talked about earlier, and
I don't want to be dissatisfied,I don't want to be negative.
I don't want to be out herelike, oh, woe is me, woe is me,
I ain't got time for that.
Like, that's just not mypersonality anyway.
Like, okay, good for you, I'mgood and happy you have all that
, but God has given me myspecific Shay Cook blessing.
Vanessa (23:11):
Okay, I don't want your blessing, abc or you, you know,
I want my blessing Yep andthose people are exhausting, by
the way, that are just full ofnegativity and dissatisfaction,
like I mean, I have one personin my life that comes, you know,
comes to mind and sometimes Ihave to take breaks from them
because it is always justnegative, negative, negative and
(23:34):
that is.
Oh my goodness, it is so hardon your spirit and your soul
when it is just like negativeall the time.
And I know there was a time Iwas around this person for a
little bit and somebody theyknew was like you sound like
blah, blah, blah and it was likeoh no, I do not want this to
happen, so you have to take astep back and reevaluate, and
(23:56):
readjust yeah, he'll keep inyour circle, um, because I don't
want to be that person either.
Shay (24:01):
Boundaries are real y'all.
Man, you gotta have thoseboundaries, cause sometimes it'd
be like I don't know how youeven live in your old life, and
when you around me, I'mexhausted.
I can only imagine howexhausted you are and you wonder
why you got so many elements.
Anyways, that part, exactly,exactly, yeah, yeah.
Vanessa (24:18):
But you know, gratitude can also encourage generosity.
Shay (24:23):
And.
Vanessa (24:23):
I think this is a similar theme.
When you just allow that thatheart of yours to be opened up
and just to be there for otherpeople and to be there for God,
like we to to be there for otherpeople and to be there for for
God, like we're supposed to bethere, like he's there for us.
We understand the blessingsthat we have and we see the
struggles of others and that canlead us to helping more people.
(24:44):
And if we were on the otherside of this, we would say, well
, you know what.
They didn't earn it, you knowthey're the ones who didn't go
to work today.
Or you know, if they would havereally tried, they would have
got this, that or the other.
But it's when we, when we havethat, that openness and
gratitude, we see that, you knowthat may not be their fault or
(25:07):
their problem, or maybe itdoesn't even matter why they
don't have right, I have, so Ican help.
(25:33):
And you know, and when we'rethankful for what we receive, we
can always want to return thefavor.
And I remember growing up mydad, he would always try to help
somebody or give them fivebucks, or whatever the situation
like we, even in a camper on mydad's land and you know he was
a Vietnam vet my dad wouldalways give him, you know, five,
10 bucks here and people werealways chastising my dad because
they were like you know, boo'sjust going to use that for beer
and cigarettes, right?
And my dad's answer was that'snot for me to decide, and if
that's, what it takes for him toget through his day.
That's what it takes, and youknow, that to me is the perfect
(25:54):
answer, because it's not on usand that's taken that back from
God too, because we're notgiving freely.
Shay (26:01):
And we give freely with love, we don't care.
Vanessa (26:03):
when it leaves our hands, it leaves our hands.
Shay (26:05):
It's not your responsibility, it's not even
for you to care.
Exactly that's when you leadthat up to God.
You ain't.
Vanessa (26:09):
God, but we can be there to love and support and to
bring that kindness aspect,exactly, yeah, and you find joy
in giving.
Shay (26:16):
I mean, recognizing that our blessings come from God can
inspire us to give back as aform of worship or service, and
really envy can lead toselfishness and a focus on
scarcity.
So you're always like, oh, Igot to get this, I got to get
that, you know.
Like now, focus on theblessings.
Like, oh, I gotta get this, Igotta get that, you know.
Like now, focus on theblessings.
It ain't your responsibility tofigure out why what somebody's
(26:36):
gonna use their money on or no,just give.
Like Vanessa saying, givefreely.
It's such a blessing to be ableto give freely, because I'm
telling you and you shouldn't begiven to receive, but I'm
telling y'all you're gonna,you're gonna receive and I'm not
talking about and just money.
I'm gonna going to say, oh, Igave $20.
I'm going to give $40.
No, you might.
The blessings and the favor andthe peace, oh, that is
(26:59):
priceless.
That is priceless.
And so I want to give and giveand give Because, like you said,
it's not always about money too.
It could be time, it could beenergy, it could be knowledge,
it could be whatever.
Love you know, love, love, love, you know.
So that is just beautiful, justabsolutely beautiful.
Yeah, wow, any final thoughts?
Vanessa (27:25):
You know, I would just say give when you can and open
your heart up and be graciousand be you know be full of
gratitude and be thankful forthe tiny things.
Be thankful you woke up thismorning and you were able to
make a good cup of coffee.
Shay (27:34):
I mean that is a blessing.
Vanessa (27:37):
I haven't had no coffee yet, but yes, Remember those
little things are all gifts andthose little things add up to
something amazing.
Shay (27:44):
And I want to end with Proverbs 1430, which states a
tranquil heart gives life to theflesh, but envy makes the bones
rot.
And in a new, livingtranslation it says a tranquil
heart gives life to the flesh,but envy makes the bones rot.
And in a new, livingtranslation, it says a peaceful
heart leads to a healthy body.
Jealousy is like cancer in thebones.
So in an honor of Yvonne, whowas living with a peaceful heart
(28:07):
, even though she had cancer,she was still healthy in her
spirit, she had gratitude, shehad love.
And she was still healthy inher spirit, she had gratitude,
she had love, and she was 16years.
Y'all Like.
That ain't nothing but ablessing.
And may she rest in holy peacein heaven.
And just thank you for joiningus today, wonderful day.
(28:28):
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast and please
feel free to leave us a review.
Vanessa (28:45):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at www.
crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired.
Shay (28:58):
And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.
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