January 27, 2025 • 55 mins
Weddings: a time for love, joy, and apparently… chaos. This week, we’re joined by Erika's older sister, Paulina, to react to some of the most outrageous wedding stories Reddit has to offer. From brides kicking out rule-breaking siblings to fiancés drawing the line with a “work wife,” these tales had us gasping, laughing, and seriously questioning some life choices.
We tackle six wild AITA scenarios, including:
💍 A groom-to-be uninviting his fiancée’s “work wife” from their big day.
💍 A sister showing up in white and getting the boot.
💍 A sibling walking out of their mom’s wedding after some shocking vows.
💍 And more family drama, hurt feelings, and wedding day disasters.
Tune in for our unfiltered reactions, spicy opinions, and sibling banter as we navigate these stories of matrimonial madness.
Whether you're planning your wedding or just love a good dose of drama, this episode is for you! Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review if you're loving the podcast.
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- AITA for skipping my brother's wedding because his fiancée excluded my wife from the guest list?
- AITA for refusing to let my sister wear white to my wedding and kicking her out when she showed up in it?
- AITA for Uninviting My Fiancé’s “Work Wife” from Our Wedding?
- AITA for walking out of my mom’s wedding after what she said during the ceremony?
- AITA for refusing to ‘follow rules’ of my sisters wedding?
- AITA for refusing to give my brother my mom's wedding ring?
~
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
Edgar.
Paulina (00:05):
And Paulina.
Erika (00:06):
And we are the Yaping snouchers. We entertain you with
the app worthy stories we foundaround the web. So we actually
have a special guest today, myolder sister, Paulina. So she's
a wife, a mother of 2 boys, anda puppy snouzer, and 2 fish. She
also loves singing.
Edgar (00:25):
And she's also the co owner of Marlborough Candle Co,
an Austin Snow Candle Company.
Erika (00:31):
And I just have to say they smell really good,
especially the Froot Loops.
Paulina (00:36):
Hi, everyone. Thank you for
Erika (00:37):
having me today. And I hope you enjoy the stories that
we're gonna it's gonna be aboutwedding and all the drama that
comes with it. So the firststory is Emma the asshole for
skipping my brother's weddingbecause his fiancee excluded my
wife from the guest list. Mybrother James is getting married
(00:58):
next month, and what should havebeen a joyous family event has
turned into a nightmare. Theissue, his fiancee Emily didn't
invite my wife Lisa to thewedding.
Emily and Lisa have never beenclose, but I wouldn't call them
enemies either. However, Emilywas always seemed to be a little
bit cold towards Lisa. Thetipping point was last year
(01:21):
during a family vacation. Lisa,who was naturally ongoing and
bubbly, struck up conversationwith everyone, including
strangers at the resort. Emily,who's quieter and more reserved,
seemed annoyed by this.
After the trip, she told Jamesthat Lisa was attention seeking
and accused her of making thevacation all about herself. I
(01:42):
didn't think much of it at thetime, chocolate it up to
personality differences. Fastforward to now, and Emily has
and Emily has made it clear shedoesn't want Lisa at her
wedding. When I confronted Jamesabout it, he admitted it was
Emily's decision, and he said hedidn't wanna push back because
(02:02):
it's her day. He added that Ishould respect Emily's wishes
and come to the wedding alonefor the sake of family harmony.
I was stunned. Lisa and I havebeen married for years, for five
years. She's part of thisfamily. Excluding her feels like
a slap in the face, not just toher, but for me as well. When I
(02:23):
told James I wouldn't attendwithout Lisa, he accused me of
being dramatic and trying topunish him for something out of
his control.
He said I was letting Lisa'shurt feelings ruin his wedding
day. Our parents are divided. Mydad says I'm right to stand with
my wife and that James and Emilyare being unreasonable. My mom,
on the other hand, thinks Ishould keep the peace and attend
(02:47):
the wedding because it's notworth destroying your
relationship with your brotherover 1. Lisa has been deeply
hurt by the whole ordeal.
She feels disrespected andexcluded and told me she would
never have done something likethis if the roles were reversed.
She's trying to be supportive ofwhatever decision I make, but I
can tell she's devastated if Iwent to the wedding without her.
(03:11):
It's put a strain in ourmarriage because she feels like
I'm not standing up for herenough. At the same time, James
is my only sibling, and I'vealways thought we were close. I
know skipping his wedding willhurt him, and it could
permanently damage ourrelationship.
Part of me wonders if I shouldjust swallow my pride and go for
his sake, but the other part ofme feels like this isn't about
(03:32):
one day. It's about standing upfor what's right. I don't wanna
ruin my brother's wedding, but Ialso don't wanna betray my wife
or compromise my values. So am Ithe asshole for refusing to go
to my brother's wedding withoutLisa? So what do you guys think?
Paulina (03:50):
I don't think he is the asshole. I feel like, he is
standing up for his wife. I knowit is I know that it's 1 event,
and it is very important for hisbrother to be there. But,
there's a wife in between, and Ithink once you have a family,
(04:14):
you have to stand up up for yourfamily. It is very it's a very
difficult decision to makebecause family is family.
But once you step out of thehouse and you have a family of
your own, you have to standright next to your family. And
that is your wife, your kids.And, eventually, there will be a
(04:36):
time where where both of the,siblings can have a talk and
discuss about this. And, justthere are other events. Let's
hope that they will be invitedand it will be a family, that's
together.
But for now, I feel like he canhave a separate conversation
(05:00):
with with the brother and andjust let them know how difficult
it is, the posture that he hasput him in for not, inviting the
wife and have that difficultconversation ahead of time. So
when the wedding comes, thewedding comes, then they know
(05:20):
why he wasn't there.
Erika (05:24):
Yeah. So, like, you should just have a conversation
with him and sit down and say,okay. This is why I don't wanna
and I'm not going to yourwedding. So it could help, you
know, at least a little bit ofresentment because I feel
regardless if he does go or hedoesn't, his brother's gonna be
resent have huge resentment forhim not going.
Edgar (05:48):
I feel like them disinviting, like, the OP's,
wife. It's just, like,basically, uninviting him as
well. Like, they he'd like, theeither the the brother or the
brother's wife doesn't, like,value, like, that part of the
family and upset them by both ofthem and, like, not put them in
that situation.
Erika (06:05):
I mean, OP thinks that they're close, so he doesn't
understand why he's you know, Iguess it's not him causing this.
It's the wife.
Edgar (06:14):
Mhmm.
Erika (06:14):
It's his, his sister-in-law that's causing all
this drama.
Edgar (06:18):
Yeah.
Erika (06:18):
So, I mean, he could talk to his wife and well, his
fiancee, almost so soon to bewife say, hey. You know, if you
wanna disinvite her, you'redisinviting my brother, and I
want him to be there. Mhmm.Like, you know, it's just 1 of
those things maybe he could talkto her, but he probably doesn't
want to because he said it's hisher wedding day and whatever
basically, whatever she saysgoes.
Edgar (06:39):
I would just say, like, give the brother 1 last warning
because I know if you don'tinvite her, then, you cannot
expect me to come as well. Yeah.And that's, like, the best I can
do because, like, it's, like,also unreasonable to, like,
someone to throw the like, mostaway for, like, one day.
Erika (06:54):
Yeah. That's hard. It's it's, like, literally his wife.
Like, he does his life now too.Like, you can't just be like,
oh, I'm just gonna go with mybrother because and leave her
behind.
Edgar (07:03):
Yeah.
Erika (07:04):
So the top comment is not the asshole. Turn turn it around
on him and ask how he would feelif the roles were reversed. How
would his fiancee feel if theroles were reversed? The fiancee
is joining the family, and sheshould bear that in mind. His
wife is already in that family.
You can't choose who your familyis, least of all who your
(07:25):
siblings marry, but you can'ttolerate them. It's the fiance
who's causing the rift, not you.Mhmm.
Edgar (07:32):
Yeah.
Erika (07:32):
I agree with that a %. I think the I mean, I get it's her
wedding, her rules, whatever,but, I mean, come on. Like
Paulina (07:39):
I also think that when you're getting married, it's a
decision of 2 people, not just1. And and if it's not only her
wedding, it's also his wedding.And so both of them had to you
know, it's I feel like this isnot going it's the beginning of
this marriage is not going well.So I think both of them had to
(08:03):
become in
Erika (08:03):
an
Paulina (08:03):
agreement and everything, not just the wedding
because afterwards, it's gonnaget even harder. So, if they
don't get out alone or in thesame page with the weddings, I
don't know how it's gonna bewith the rest of the of their
life together. Yeah.
Edgar (08:20):
Wait, Paulina. In your wedding, did you have to make
any compromises with Hector?
Paulina (08:25):
We had to make compromises for how many people
were invited.
Edgar (08:28):
Really? Like, how how so?
Paulina (08:30):
Because we were in a tight budget.
Erika (08:33):
Mhmm.
Paulina (08:34):
And so with a tight budget, it's, compromising, you
know, how many people can youinvite. So we together decided
on how many people, which was 40people. And so the venue was we
actually got it at a good price,which was amazing. But, we both
wrote down a list of the peoplethat we wanted to invite. And,
(08:55):
it was majority was familybecause family to to me and my
husband is everything.
So and there were a couple offriends that we know that were
very close, and that's how weended up just having 40 people
in our wedding.
Erika (09:08):
That must have been hard, especially, you know, at least
our family is what? 12 almost 20people? Yeah. More than 20.
Edgar (09:13):
You're more than half. Yeah.
Paulina (09:15):
Yeah. It was more than half.
Erika (09:16):
So we really we really
Paulina (09:19):
had to, you know, just think about the people that we
both know and we appreciate andthat we felt that they were very
important in our lives. So thoseare the people we decided to
invite.
Erika (09:31):
Wow. That's really hard. Mhmm. But, yeah, you your
wedding was beautiful. Thankyou.
I remember Chelsea and herspeech was hilarious.
Edgar (09:39):
Chelsea had a speech?
Erika (09:41):
Yeah. How old was she? She must have been 8 or
something.
Paulina (09:44):
Like, I can't Yeah. Speech? Yeah. So it was about so
she said because they she saidshe grabbed the mic because they
were saying, if they wanna givethem some advice to the new,
couple
Erika (09:58):
Chelsea.
Paulina (09:58):
And they went. And so Chelsea's advice was, I support
you if you wanna do this. Andthat was the advice. She
supported me. She was there.
Isn't she cute?
Edgar (10:11):
She's wise beyond her years. And she
Erika (10:13):
was only, what, 8 or less? Yeah. She was so cute.
Paulina (10:17):
But there, I invited my sister and she was there and she
supported me.
Erika (10:21):
Exactly. So, yeah, I think it really is just
compromising. I think anyrelationship needs to be
compromised. Well, decisionsneed to be compromised with the
2 couples to make it work.
Edgar (10:34):
Yeah. Definitely. So, yeah, final verdict on this
story?
Erika (10:38):
Yeah. He's not the asshole.
Paulina (10:40):
Right.
Edgar (10:40):
Yeah. Definitely agree about that. For the next story,
it's titled a mighty asshole tolet my sister wear white to my
wedding and kicking her out whenshe showed up in it? I, 27
female, got married two weeksago, and it was supposed to be
the happiest day of my life. Mysister, 31 female, who I have a
(11:00):
complicated relationship with,decided to test me in the worst
way possible.
We've never been close. She'salways tried to 1 up me, even
during family events. It'sexhausting, but I figured she'd
at least behave at my wedding.Months ago, when I sent out the
dress code, I made it veryclear. No one wears white but
me.
It wasn't negotiable. My sistergave me attitude about it,
(11:23):
saying I was being insecure andthat no one cares about
tradition anymore. I told herthat whether or not she agreed,
she needed to respect it. Themorning of the wedding, she
showed up wearing a floor lengthlace white dress. It was
practically a bridal gown.
My heart dropped, and I straightup asked her what the hell she
was thinking. And she said, it'snot that way, and besides, no
(11:47):
one will care. I told her thatif she didn't change, she wasn't
welcomed. She threw a tantrumabout how I was ruining her day
and stormed off, tellingeveryone I was being bridezilla.
Some family members told me tolet it slide because she's just
like that, but I was done.
So I told the staff not to lether back in unless she changed.
(12:07):
She never came back, and nowshe's telling everyone I ruined
a relationship for good. Myparents are mad saying I
should've just ignored herbecause it's only a dress, but I
feel like this was a deliberatechoice to sabotage my day. My
husband agrees with me, but somefamily is still pissed. So am I
the asshole?
Erika (12:27):
This makes me have rage. Oh, man.
Edgar (12:33):
It's, like, just overly petty for no reason. Like, just,
like, it's, like, 1 simple role,and that's the only role that I
imagine that was, like, hadabout the wedding, and the
sister broke it.
Erika (12:45):
Yeah. What do you think, Paulina?
Paulina (12:47):
Well, when I'm invited to a wedding, I am not wearing
white because I let the bride bethe 1 that shines. That's her
day. And so I'm being veryconscientious when I I get
invited to weddings, and I willnot wear white because I feel
that's not my that's not mywedding. And so I feel that she
was disrespected by her sister,and it's too bad that they
(13:10):
couldn't you know, that thatrelationship was already broken
and that, you know, that hersister didn't really respect her
decision, and it was her bigday. So, I definitely think that
she's not the asshole for forhaving a dress code in her
wedding.
Erika (13:30):
Exactly. I think it's just terrible how she decided to
use this 1 day, like, herwedding day to 1 upper, I guess,
or destroy it or ruin it forher. I think she just waited for
this moment to ruin her wedding,honestly. I don't think they I
mean, obviously, they don't havea good relationship, but I think
she's just taken it too far. Ithink after this, I don't think
(13:52):
the relationship is gonna be,any closer, probably further
apart because and I don't blameher either.
I mean, why do you want asibling like that? If, like, a
stranger or your friend wouldn'tdo that to you, why you what how
about your family? Like, it'scrazy to me. Yeah. She's just
very disrespectful andcompletely ignored what, you
know, was asked for her 1 thing.
Edgar (14:14):
Yeah. I can't believe, like, some of the family, like,
are on the the sister side onthis.
Erika (14:19):
Oh my god. I would kick them out too. Get out.
Edgar (14:21):
All of them are stoned.
Erika (14:25):
It's ridiculous. Come on. Then have her go to your wedding
wearing white. Let's see howmuch you like it. Hello?
Go into my shoes and see how youfeel. I hate when people do
that. Like, just keep the peace.That's how she is. Yeah.
That's too bad, but she's notcoming in. I would I would them
the same thing she did. Kick herout, and don't let anybody have
her come in anymore.
Paulina (14:45):
Yeah. And, also, like, the parents are they were mad
saying that she should ignoreher because it's only addressed.
I am sorry, but the parentsshould have done a better way.
Raising them. Address yeah.
Raising them and addressing thisseparately. Like, if I was a
parent, I'd be like, let's go.We need to talk. And even if
she's a grown up person, I'lljust take her aside and make her
(15:08):
change or go away.
Erika (15:10):
Yeah. It's it's simple. No. Regardless how old you are,
you know, you need to respecteach other.
Edgar (15:15):
Mhmm. You need
Erika (15:15):
to have a good relationship. So the for the top
comment is not the asshole. Yoursister disrespected you clear
dress instructions and showed upin a white gown, almost
identical to a wedding dress.She was trying to seal your
spotlight at your wedding. Youwere right to uphold your
boundaries and not let her ruinyour day.
Ignore the family members whosay you should have let it
(15:38):
slide. This is was this was yourspecial day. She didn't care.
Exactly. And then OP actuallyresponded to this.
She had every chance to wearliterally anything else but
chose suit that dress onpurpose. Letting it slide would
have given her permission topull stunts like this at every
major event. Some people need tolearn the hard way that actions
(15:59):
actions have consequences. So,yeah, I agree 100%. She was
definitely not in the wrong.
The sister was definitely theasshole. And the parents and
those family members that said,just let us slide. No.
Edgar (16:13):
I know. And, like, what what what was the sister
expecting, like, for her to comeinto, like, the party like that?
Like
Erika (16:18):
I don't get it.
Paulina (16:20):
Yeah. Like, I would never do that to you. Let's say
you're getting married. How inthe world I'm gonna be wearing
white knowing that you're thebride?
Erika (16:28):
That's crazy.
Paulina (16:29):
Even though we might have our arguments and we'll not
be on the same page, that's yourday, your special day.
Erika (16:35):
Yeah. I don't care how crappy of, like, relationship
you have with your sibling.Like, come on. Why are you
trying to ruin the wedding?Mhmm.
Edgar (16:43):
Yeah. So final verdict on that?
Erika (16:46):
Not that asshole.
Edgar (16:47):
Yeah. Hope he's not the asshole.
Erika (16:49):
She should've done it more. She would have been more
Edgar (16:51):
more mad.
Erika (16:53):
She should have ruined she should embarrassed her for
everybody who's getting that asmuch. It's revengeful. But, you
know, just kicked her out wassuffice. That's how I feel at
least. Right?
Alright. So the next story isthis 1 is a little bit long. So
it says, Emma de Aspo foruninvited my fiance's work wife
(17:15):
from our wedding. I, 29 female,supposed to be marrying the love
of my life, 31 male, in a fewmonths. We've been planning this
wedding for over a year, andit's been beautiful but
stressful experience.
But there's 1 person casting ashadow over everything, and
that's my fiance's work wife,Lily thirty female. Let me
(17:39):
backtrack a little. My fianceand Lily have been friends and
coworkers for around five years.At first, I was honestly
relieved he had good friends atwork, especially since his job
can be demanding and a bitisolating. I tried to be cool,
understanding partner who wasn'tbothered by how close they were.
But over time, their bond becamewell, it became something I just
(18:01):
don't know how to handle. Lilyis a huge part of his life. The
they text constantly, often lateinto the night about everything
from work issues to littlejokes. She knows things about
him that sometimes I don't. Andit stings me to realize how much
he turns to her for advice andlaughs instead of me.
(18:22):
My fiance reassures me thatthey're for just friends, that
she's his work wife, and thatit's no big deal. But it feels
like she's gotten so close thatI'm sometimes the 1 on the
outside looking in. As we gotdeeper into the wedding
planning, Lily started chimingin with her opinions. She has
suggestions about our venue. Itdoesn't feel like him, our
(18:45):
flowers.
She's never like he's neverliked bright colors, remember?
And even my wedding dressmentioning of Henley that she
knew his style better and couldhelp me pick something he'd
love. I tried to laugh it off,but it hurts more than I wanted
to admit. Here I am planning mywedding, and I felt like I had
to measure up to her view of myfiance. Last week, our
(19:10):
engagement party was ourengagement party, and it was
supposed to be such a happy day.
But I kept noticing Lily gluedto his side. I tried to join the
conversation, but every time,she bring up a work story or
inside joke that left me feelinglike the third wheel of my own
engagement. Then in 1 worstmoment, I walked up to her
(19:35):
saying, you know, if you changeyour mind, you could always
marry me instead. My heart sank.I didn't know if she was joking
or half serious, but my fiancelaughed, brushing it off like it
was no big deal.
I couldn't just let it go. Ipulled my fiance aside later
that night and told him howinappropriate her comment was.
(19:59):
He looked at me surprised, likeI was taking it too seriously
and that Lily was just playingaround. I felt like I was going
crazy, like maybe I was seeingsomething that wasn't there. But
how would anyone be okay hearingthat from someone so close to
their fiance?
The last straw came toward theend of the night. Lily had a few
drinks, and she came up to measking if I was really okay with
(20:23):
with how close they were. Shesaid something like, I mean, I
can't imagine him with anyoneelse. I felt like a knife to my
chest. I wanted to scream, butinstead, I just walked away.
Later, I told my fiancee Ididn't want her at our wedding
and that it was too painful tohave someone there who clearly
saw herself as part of ourrelationship. He got defensive,
(20:45):
saying it was I was overreactingand letting jealousy ruin our
friendship. He cherishes. Heeven implied that uninviting her
would damage his reputation atwork. And now he's barely
talking to me because he saysI'm making him choose between
his best friend and his fiance.
I don't know what to thinkanymore. I feel hurt, small, and
(21:07):
my and, like, my feelings don'tmatter. My friends support me,
but his friends think I'moverreacting and letting
insecurity ruin ourrelationship. Am I blowing this
up, or am I in the right forsome respect and boundaries? Am
I the asshole for asking him touninvite her from our wedding
after everything that'shappened?
(21:31):
That was hard.
Edgar (21:32):
I think, yeah, the, the coworker, the fiance's, work
wife, it it made the veryappropriate very inappropriate,
like, comments about, like, oh,we can, like, marry me if, like,
this doesn't work out. Like,that's something she shouldn't
say.
Erika (21:45):
If she wasn't sure. Yeah.
Edgar (21:46):
Especially, like, you're not in front of, like, the the
the wife.
Erika (21:50):
Well, she's she came up. She wasn't there. She came up,
and she heard that comment.
Edgar (21:55):
Oh, I see.
Erika (21:56):
She was they were talking behind her back about this.
Like, that's even worse.
Edgar (22:00):
Yeah. Yeah. That's even worse, actually. That might be
yeah. Because that means, like,she she's, like, very confident
when, like, in it probably is,like, kinda a little bit 2 faced
too, you know?
Like, maybe in front of thewife, she's, like, oh, all nice
and, like, seems like a friend.But maybe when they're, like,
not together, like, which is whyshe's the work wife, she's,
like, probably doing a littlebit more.
Erika (22:17):
I honestly think he's an idiot. Mhmm. Because if he's
planning on marrying this womanand if this woman tells him, I
don't feel comfortable withthat, then you respect her
decisions and say okay. Why?Because he's planning to spend
the rest of his life with thisperson.
I'm sorry. Wives come first overbest friends. And even if you
(22:38):
were best friends, if you'replanning on spending the rest of
your life with this woman andshe tells you she feels
uncomfortable or she's hurt bysomething she said, then do what
she's saying because herfeelings matter. Like, what what
is going on?
Edgar (22:54):
Mhmm.
Erika (22:55):
Why is she marrying why is he marrying her? What do you
think, Paulina?
Paulina (23:00):
Oh, I feel like there's a lot of things wrong here.
First of all, I don't like theterm work life Haters. I don't
like it because I call itsomething else. She's your
secretary. She's, your Coworker.
Whatever it is that but don'tcall her a work life because
(23:20):
you're mixing two two thingshere. You are mixing your
friendship, and you're mixingyour work, kind of. So having a
work wife, it means can't canyou handle it yourself, or do
you need someone to be there? Ithink he's very codependent of
this person, of Lily, and it'snot making decisions on his own.
(23:44):
And then second of all, ifyou're gonna get married, you
have to plan this with yourfiance, not having your what
does your work wife, has to doanything with your wedding?
This is your wedding. She's notworking in your wedding unless
she's the wedding planner.Exactly.
Erika (24:04):
Why was she a part of all those planning? I don't
understand that. She's not evenher friend, like her best
friend, maid of honor, orsibling. Why is she there? Just
because she's best friends withthe husband?
Like, no. You're uninvited. Iwould have not had her nowhere
near my planning on the weddingor anything because she is
(24:24):
nothing. She is nothing in thisrelationship. She I think she
allowed this to happen, so shethinks she has the right to say
certain things.
So because she didn't set thatboundary, she now thinks she's
able to do a lot more things andbe part of their relationship. I
think she should have saidsomething in the beginning.
Paulina (24:45):
Oh, and I think the the soon to be husband should've
draw the line between work work,work wife and fiance. If he's he
allowed the work wife to do tostep in to places that she
(25:07):
wasn't even supposed to be. Youknow? She's and then he's
saying, you know, he she's toothat Lily's taking it too
seriously. And who in the worldwill be texting him the middle
of the night jokes and workstuff?
No. That's gonna be no. Yougotta draw a line between work
(25:28):
and within your your regularlife. So he's he's allowed her
to just there's no boundaries.He has not step in and say, no.
This is my wife and this is mytime. Please don't interrupt me
during these hours and blah blahblah. But he's allowing her to
be part of his life. And to thefact that she is saying, the
work wife is saying that, makingthose comments, I feel like
(25:51):
there's not even just a workwipe, but I feel that there's
other feelings involved.
Erika (25:57):
Yes. And now that you say that, the first, the top comment
actually says, not the asshole.But to be honest, it sounds like
2 of them are having anemotional affair. Exactly. And I
feel like that's worse than justhaving an affair, just affair,
like, you know, cheating atsomeone or whatever.
I feel like emotional affair,it's just ties it's it's like
(26:18):
you're tangled together way morethan just sleeping with someone.
Her comments are completelyinappropriate, and your fiance's
willingness to side with her andchoose her over you is hugely
concerning. I can absolutelypredict on the day of the
wedding, she's gonna try toinsert herself into everything.
It sounds like she's a levelthere's a level of jealousy
(26:40):
here. And based on what she'sshe did at your engagement
party, this is gonna escalate onthe day you get married.
And then you can likely lookforward to the future of her
inserting yourself into yourrelationship. The home you buy,
your children, and yourhusband's gonna keep allowing
this to happen. You need to askyourself if you can live with
this trouble. Yeah. I think thehusband is, I'm honestly he
(27:05):
should marry her.
Paulina (27:06):
He should marry Just thinking that. I
Erika (27:08):
was just
Paulina (27:08):
thinking that. I'm like, really? Instead of
becoming just the work wife, shecan become the old wife.
Erika (27:13):
The real wife. Yeah. There you go.
Edgar (27:15):
Yeah. I guess at that point.
Erika (27:17):
Yeah. Because I get especially,
Edgar (27:18):
like, when you get the label, like, work wife or
husband, they're like thatimplies, like, everyone else in
the office sees something, like,more in that relationship.
Erika (27:26):
Well, I've seen people have, like, work wife and but
like,
Edgar (27:31):
when you see those, like, kind of people like that, that
kind of like dynamic in work, doyou think they're just friends?
Or you think they're more? Yeah,
Erika (27:37):
I have what is fun people that I've seen it. I don't think
there's anything more than that.But you know, it just depends.
Like, obviously, the woman alsohas to have boundaries and and
the guy too. And if you see,like, they have a good
relationship or whatever, that'sfine.
But, like, you know, there hasto be a, a boundary. Mhmm. And
there's no boundaries in thatrelationship, then that's where
(27:58):
the the line is kinda blurred,and that's where the danger
comes in.
Edgar (28:02):
Yeah. Because, like, a lot of people, like, work is,
like, their only life, like,also their only social lives. So
it's, like, pretty hard for,like, people to, like, kinda
separate that. So I kind of,like, advised of him saying, oh,
we shouldn't, like, disinviteher because, like, then it's
gonna miss make my work moremissable or, like, more awkward.
But, also, like, I don't think,like, work's that important at
the end of the day.
Like, he always get another 1and not be in that situation in
(28:24):
the first place and not, like,get himself into another
situation in another workplace.
Erika (28:29):
Yeah. I mean, it's I think
Edgar (28:31):
he's like, I think the decision for her him to uninvite
the work pipe would probably be,like, not to, like, how he wants
that to affect his, like,workplace.
Erika (28:39):
Yeah. That's true. He did say that that if he would she
was not to get invited, it willbe be affecting his work life.
Edgar (28:46):
Like, could it cause him to be fired? Did it cause him
to, like, lose any partnershipswithin his work? Like, it's
something else to, consider aswell.
Paulina (28:55):
I feel like she also he also give her, a certain
authority over things at work.Like, there's it seems like
she's has some type ofauthority, and that is that he's
feeling, he's feeling worriedabout what's gonna happen at
(29:16):
work. Again, we're going back toboundaries. What kind of power
does she have that it caninfluence his work? And,
Erika (29:27):
That's a scary thought too.
Paulina (29:28):
Is because he is not just thinking about, his wife,
but is thinking about his work.And so, you know, what kind of
power she has?
Erika (29:39):
Yeah. I think it's important to really, like, think
that through, or maybe he shouldexplain to her a little bit
more, like the wife or thefiance. Soon to be wife explains
her, you know, this ishappening. You know, this is
what, you know, the dynamic is,and that's why I can't invite
her. Like, you know, it's justthe communication as well.
If he was to talk to her aboutthe relationship, not just,
like, completely shut her outbecause she said here that he
(30:02):
doesn't wanna talk to heranymore. He's ignoring her. And,
basically, just the concernsthat she had or whatever, he
doesn't care.
Edgar (30:11):
Mhmm. Yes. That's, like, a pretty bad red flag for me on
that behavior. Because I knowanything, she said, kind of
solidifies, like, the OP's fearsabout, like, what could be going
on.
Erika (30:22):
Yeah. Because at the end
Edgar (30:23):
of the day, like, we all need to work stuff, but he also
have just been saying that justto, like, guilt her.
Erika (30:28):
Yeah. I mean, like, how would you react if I said I had
a work husband?
Edgar (30:32):
I would like
Erika (30:34):
it. He should have said he wouldn't like it. I like your
honesty, but well, I don't havea work husband, so you're okay.
Edgar (30:42):
I mean, it's like a I feel like it's not a good idea
to have, like, anyone that closeat work.
Erika (30:46):
Right. Yeah. Because if they could literally use your
weakness against you since theyknow so much about you. I don't
know. It's just really hard.
Edgar (30:54):
I mean, like, I
Paulina (30:54):
have a you know, I work in a field that's very you know,
a lot of people say it's alonely chair. I work in human
resources too. So it is a lonelychair. And you have to be very
careful with the relationshipsyou form around the company,
around wherever you work. So, itcan be it can you you can feel
lonely sometimes becauseeverything you say, it's
(31:15):
probably gonna be against you.
So you gotta be really, reallycareful. So, I get it. But to
the fact that he is telling her,you know, telling Lily that
just, you know, it's this is toomuch. You shouldn't feel this
way, and, I feel like you'recrazy. You know?
(31:36):
There's nothing there. You know?That's that's not that's not
okay. If he needs to have a comsomething like that's happening
at work where he's feelingafraid or feeling concerned of
what's gonna happen, you know,with, with not having whatever
that not inviting, the otherwork wife to, the wedding, then
(31:57):
he needs to be I think he needs
Erika (31:59):
to speak up
Paulina (32:00):
Yeah. Yeah. He needs to speak up to her, and he needs to
and he needs to let her knowwhat's what's really going on.
And even if it's a hardconversation to have, then it's
better to have it before thewedding.
Erika (32:11):
Yeah. So that before if, you know, she decides she can
deal with this. Like, she Ithink she OP needs to really sit
down and think it through. Like,can she live the rest of her
life living like this? Andbeing, in a throuple, which
somebody commented, like, beingin a relationship of 3.
Because it looks like she's notgoing anywhere. So she really
(32:33):
needs to before she gets,married and tied down with that
guy, she was she really needs toreflect if she wants to live
like that. Alright. And then Iwhat what's our verdict?
Edgar (32:45):
Yeah. Find her the dots.
Erika (32:47):
Not I don't think she's the asshole, but I think he is.
And the the work wife are bothassholes.
Paulina (32:56):
Mhmm.
Edgar (32:56):
Yeah. I think at first, I thought that, OP was a little
bit of an asshole trying to,like, cause a wedge in, like,
his workplace, basically. Butthe more I thought about it, I
think, yeah, I think OP isn't,like, isn't in the wrong. Like,
she's, like, in the right and,in saying that she wants an an
invite, the work wife.
Erika (33:12):
Yeah. I think her comments were inappropriate
saying, oh, if you change yourmind, you know, I always have
that's just weird. That's likecrossing the line there.
Edgar (33:19):
Yeah. So yeah.
Erika (33:21):
If she didn't say that, I would be like, alright. You
know, maybe they have a goodrelationship and, you know, they
mixed it, like, they have aclose relationship. But then
when she said that, I was like,no.
Edgar (33:29):
Yeah. It's, like, totally inappropriate.
Paulina (33:31):
There's definitely something else going
Erika (33:32):
on. Mhmm.
Edgar (33:34):
Okay. The next story is titled asshole who walking out
of my mom's wedding after whatshe said during the ceremony.
This has been eating me at thishas been eating at me all week,
so I need some outsideperspective. I'm 20, and I have
a really complicatedrelationship with my mom. She's
45.
She's always been the type ofperson who knows exactly how to
(33:55):
push your buttons. She'll saythe most hurtful things at the
worst possible time, but thenplay it off like she was just
being honest or joking. It'sbeen like that my whole life.
Anyways, she got remarried lastweekend. Her first marriage was
to my dad, and they had mepretty young.
My dad isn't really in my lifemuch. He moved out of my stay
(34:17):
when I was 10, and while we talkoccasionally, it's still a
really sore spot for me. My momknows this. She's always known
this. Fast forward to thewedding.
She asked me to be her maid ofhonor, and I agreed because
despite everything, I wanted herto be supportive. The ceremony
was beautiful, and I wasstanding right next to her
holding her bouquet. Then out ofnowhere, she leans over and
(34:40):
whispers to me, isn't it sadyour dad didn't even bother to
come? Guess we both know whereyou rank on his priority list. I
was stunned.
It felt like someone punched mein the stomach. I didn't say
anything because what could Ieven say? I just sit there
holding her flower, trying notto cry in front of a hundred
(35:01):
people. As soon as the ceremonyended, I handed the bouquet back
to her, walked straight out ofthe venue, and left. I didn't
even go to the reception.
I just couldn't. Now my phone isblowing up. My mom is fierce
calling me selfish and saying Iembarrassed her in front of her
new husband and his family, andshe says I ruined her big day
(35:22):
over something so small and thatI should have just ignored it. A
few relatives have sided withher saying I should have sucked
it up for a wedding and talkedto her later. But to me, it
wasn't small.
It felt like she deliberatelychose that moment to hurt me,
and I don't think I could havejust stood there pretending. I
could've just stood therepretending everything was fine.
(35:44):
And my asshole for walking out.Should I have stayed and dealt
with it later?
Erika (35:51):
Yeah. I don't think OP was the asshole. I think the mom
really is. Well Yeah. Like, thatthat was uncalled for.
Edgar (35:59):
It's, like, especially cruel. Like, you don't say that
to someone and, like I I I don'tknow why she would say that
besides thinking, like, oh, shelikes to, like, harm people.
Like, she likes to be makepeople uncomfortable or, like,
sad.
Erika (36:10):
Oh, saying that she was joking or she was being honest.
Mhmm. Like, how people she saidthat she likes to say that I was
just being honest or joking.
Edgar (36:18):
But that's, like, a cover to her, like, what she actually
wants to feel, which is, like,she likes seeing people be,
like, be uncomfortable or, like,
Erika (36:24):
seem to
Edgar (36:25):
be invisible. Yeah.
Erika (36:26):
That's that's terrible. I mean, like, who hurt you, sir? I
mean, ma'am. Who hurt you thatyou wanna hurt everybody else? I
I feel like people that hurt.
That people are like this arehurt inside. So they want to
hurt everybody around them.
Edgar (36:38):
Or you could just be bad people.
Erika (36:41):
I don't I feel well, why is a bad why does somebody
become bad?
Edgar (36:45):
Some people are born bad.
Erika (36:47):
No, I don't think that. I don't think everybody's born
bad. I feel like they becomethat way. Because of there comes
a nature and nurture. Really.
It just it's difficult. I don'tthink nobody comes in this world
evil. I don't think so. I thinkthe the experiences, the way
they grow up, the way they'retreated, everything takes into
(37:10):
play on who you become. And atsome point, really, I mean, you
choose to be a certain person.
And then if obviously, you'rehurting inside, you want to hurt
everybody else. Because I don'tknow, you don't want to see
anybody else happy, because youare not happy. So I feel like,
you know, it's just 1 of thosethings where I feel bad for
people this way. But, yeah, I Idon't think it's right.
(37:33):
Especially, why would do youwanna hurt your daughter?
She's being there for you onyour wedding day, and you just
wanna, like, physically a slapin the face, with those words.
And I don't blame her forwalking out. I would go low
contact low contact with her. Imean, why do you wanna have a
relationship that is so toxic?And regardless if she's your mom
(37:57):
or not.
Edgar (37:59):
So, yeah, you personally would would have left if she
said that to you? Like, your momsaid that to you?
Erika (38:03):
I would have left. And those people that are saying,
oh, you should have just, youknow, sucked it up. No. Then you
shouldn't be part of my lifeeither if you think so.
Edgar (38:11):
Yeah. I think I would have personally stayed just to
be supportive and just to doublefair because that's
Paulina (38:15):
She don't deserve it.
Edgar (38:15):
I am.
Erika (38:16):
Yeah. But no. She don't deserve I no. I give people what
they if they give me something,I give them that something back.
Mhmm.
If she's giving me all thiscrap, I'm not gonna give her
anything. I just don't take. Ijust gonna go. She doesn't
deserve anything from me.
Edgar (38:33):
How about you, Paulina?
Paulina (38:35):
I I think words have power. And I feel like she's got
to the point where I don't knowwhat happened to that or
whatever the situation was. Butas a parent, because I'm a mom,
I know what can I pour out, whatI'm pouring out to my kids? I
(38:56):
don't know what the mom has beenpouring out to her about the dad
Mhmm. That she's hurt.
You know? I don't know whatexactly happened. Even might be
might be the truth or not. Butas parents, we have to stay
neutral, especially for the sakeof our own the good of our kids.
Mhmm.
So I don't know what she's doneto her daughter that, that she's
(39:18):
hurt. She knows that that thisis something that's that that
it's very touchy for her.
Edgar (39:23):
Yeah.
Paulina (39:23):
So and for the mom to just say, you know, your dad
wasn't here. First of all, whywill the dad come to her
wedding?
Erika (39:31):
I don't get that.
Edgar (39:32):
Some people do that.
Paulina (39:33):
Yeah. I I get. But first of all, I wouldn't invite
him to my wedding unless I wanthim to see how happy I am.
Erika (39:39):
Yeah. He's like, hey. Look at me.
Paulina (39:42):
Look at me,
Edgar (39:42):
new guy.
Erika (39:43):
Yeah. Exactly.
Paulina (39:44):
So I wouldn't, like, I would've stayed, and I would've
ignored her coming.
Edgar (39:50):
Mhmm.
Paulina (39:51):
Yes. It would've it would've bother me. Not much
just not hurt me, but it wouldbother me because I'm like,
first of all, I wouldn't thinkshe would invite my dad. Why in
the world would it invite mydad?
Erika (40:01):
But
Paulina (40:01):
Mhmm. Depending on her personality. And then second of
all, I'd be like, I'lldefinitely mention this back to
her. But, again, I would justlet it I will let it slide
because it was not it's it willnot affect me because of why
would it in my mind, I'd belike, why would you invite my
dad? Like, it's other I I feellike the other story will be if
(40:22):
it was my wedding and my dadwasn't there.
Yeah. That would be different. Iwould be, like, really saddened
if she would've made a commentlike that. I'd be, like,
devastated. Mhmm.
But in her wedding, I'd be like,I don't care. It's your wedding.
Erika (40:36):
But I think it's normal for I think it's more Americanos
that they do that.
Paulina (40:42):
I know they do. I know
Edgar (40:43):
they do. So I
Erika (40:43):
think that's crazy. I mean, I don't know. I think
Edgar (40:45):
No? Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, I feel like there's a lot
more stories of, like, yeah,like American families. They're
like, oh, I haven't talked to mysister in, like, a decade or two
because, like, we had anargument. Like, I feel like
that's, like, maybe not normal,but I feel I hear more about it
from, like, from thatdemographic.
Erika (41:00):
Like, they could just stop talking to people and then
invite them to a wedding. LikeYeah. I'm like, no.
Paulina (41:06):
That's weird.
Erika (41:07):
I don't know.
Edgar (41:08):
Like, I have to talk to my sisters and, like, my mom and
dad, like, every, like, everyday or every other day.
Erika (41:13):
Yeah. I mean, same. I'm I feel like we're very close knit.
Like, I could not imagine nottalking to my sisters a day.
Like
Paulina (41:21):
I know.
Erika (41:21):
And we always be sending videos to each other and stuff
like that. Like, I I don't getit. I mean, we are blessed to
have that, I think. We're reallylucky Yes. To have a a
relationship like that because Iknow a lot of people that's
definitely not the case.
Paulina (41:35):
Yeah. And because I feel like our culture will be
like, I don't care if my dad isnot here. It's not his business.
But like Ed was saying, maybeit's just the demographics and
it's yeah. She probably is hurtbecause the dad is there.
But I personally wouldn't takeit seriously. And I'd be like,
whatever. It's your wedding. Ifyou don't want him to come, it's
not my I don't want. Probably ifshe wanted to see the dad,
(41:57):
maybe, but it's like it's an
Erika (41:59):
I think she feels hurt by that too.
Paulina (42:01):
Yeah. May maybe that, that he didn't come, but it's
like, it's not her wedding. Itwas last wedding. Like, again,
I'd be, like, really, reallysad, but I would just ignore my
mind for the rest of thewedding.
Erika (42:14):
I would just leave. I just I don't I don't like that.
I don't know. I just I think Ijust, I'm the type to just,
like, isolate myself when I feela certain way. Mhmm.
But, yeah, I don't think she isthe asshole at all. That's the
thing that's for my my verdict.It's hilarious.
Edgar (42:33):
You ready?
Erika (42:34):
Okay. So the top comment is, why would your father show
up at your ex's wife wedding?She sounds like a bitter old
cow.
Edgar (42:43):
Alright.
Erika (42:44):
I'm sure he avoids her like the plague.
Edgar (42:47):
Mhmm. Well,
Paulina (42:48):
that's what I was saying. I'm like, what was
showing? He showed up to herwedding.
Erika (42:53):
That's so funny. Yeah. I think it's I think she's oh, he
just really hurt because he hada chance to see her and he
declined and did not. And hehe's already, like, not part of
her life as much as she wantedhim to. So I feel like he did
another thing that he wasn'tthere for her.
You know what I mean? So I thinkthat's what her mom wanted to I
(43:14):
wanted to participate. Yeah.Yeah. Which is cruel, honestly.
She she's really that asshole.And the Can't wait
Edgar (43:21):
for the update for the divorce? Oh. The second divorce.
Erika (43:24):
Oh, yeah. And then she's gonna remarry again? Alright. So
Edgar (43:29):
Hey. Final verdict on
Erika (43:30):
the story? The final verdict, she is not the asshole,
but the mother is and the fatherfor not being there for her.
Agree. You're indifferent
Edgar (43:38):
to the father. I'm indifferent to the father.
Erika (43:41):
I feel I mean, like, if he would have been part of her
life, she wouldn't be feelingthis way. Mhmm. But If he if you
decide to have a child and youdecide to, say I'm gonna be this
father then why are you makingyour children feel this way?
Edgar (43:54):
Mhmm.
Erika (43:55):
Be a father.
Edgar (43:56):
Your young children. Remember when they first got it,
so they're probably not thinkingabout that.
Erika (44:01):
Still, you should be responsible Mhmm. Regardless how
young you are. Okay. So the nextstory is Emma the asshole for
refusing to follow rules of mysister's wedding. My sister,
female eighteen, will marry herhusband, male twenty two, next
weekend.
She sent me an invitation to bethe bridesmaid back in Oct. 0,
(44:22):
and I said yes before asking herwhat the rules for the wedding
would be. Flash forward toChristmas day, few weeks before
the wedding. At my parents'house, and I asked my sister
what my children will be wearingand what their roles would be.
She asked shocked and says, whatare you talking about?
Your kids won't be at thewedding. Who wants wedding with
(44:43):
the kids? I was extremely upsetshe said it this way in front of
my children and was veryconfused. I wasn't personally
told that kids couldn't come,just assumed they could. Am I in
the wrong for assuming this?
Anyways, there's a bit ofargument, and then my sister
says, why the hell would Iinvite messy kids to a beautiful
(45:06):
wedding? I don't need them therefor one day. My kids were still
in the room during this, and my12 year old started crying,
which led my 4 year old Johncrying. I said to my sisters,
could have organized somethingfor my kids or let them know
what the plan is. You're sounprepared for the wedding.
(45:26):
You're a kid. She left myparents' house with her fiance
and then me, my husband, and thekids left too. I messaged her a
couple days later simply sayingeither you let my kids come to
the wedding or you sent back mybride's mid dress. I'm sick of
your childish behavior. Am I theasshole?
Edgar (45:45):
Yeah. I think so. It's, like, definitely a preference
thing. Like, whether you wantkids
Erika (45:49):
to be asshole? Yeah.
Edgar (45:50):
I think you OP's the asshole. I think the OP's,
sister handled it not well.Like, but, like, basically, her
her terms with her wedding.Because, like, think about the
the kids too. It adds, like, alot more cost to the wedding as
well.
And maybe she does have a pointthat, like, in some cases, like,
the kids are would would kinda,like, hinder, like, the the
(46:13):
solemnness and, like, the beautyof a wedding.
Erika (46:15):
Okay. How about this? How about we are invited to a
wedding of your family, but thenyour family says, but you can't
bring your child?
Edgar (46:24):
Then I don't bring her.
Erika (46:25):
You'll be okay with it?
Edgar (46:26):
Yeah.
Erika (46:28):
I don't know. I guess it's really depends on the wife.
But, like, I feel like thisshould have been announced,
announced, like, make sure thateverybody knows this Mhmm.
Beforehand, before they decideto be part of the wedding. I
don't think OP knew anythingabout this and was shocked that
her kids were not gonna be apart of it or was not were not
(46:49):
able able to go into thewedding.
Yeah.
Edgar (46:51):
And now she's demanding that the the kids be invited.
Erika (46:55):
Yeah. So now that's what makes her the asshole.
Edgar (46:57):
Mhmm.
Erika (46:57):
Because, honestly, if she the wife of the wedding and the,
soon to be bride doesn't wantthe kids to be there, I think
you need to respect it.
Edgar (47:08):
Yeah.
Erika (47:09):
Either you can find a babysitter for a couple hours or
just be there for the ceremonyand then leave. I mean, you
could do whatever you like, butI I think at the end of the day,
if the, you know, the bride tobe wants no kids, then you have
to respect it. Mhmm.
Edgar (47:27):
What do
Erika (47:27):
you think, Paulina?
Paulina (47:29):
I I agree. I feel like she should've sent. When she
invited her to be the bridesmaidin back in Oct. 0, she should've
said something. She should'vesaid something about not having
kids in her wedding.
And you know what? It's apreference thing. I get it. It's
the cost involved and otherthings involved too with
children. But, if you don't saythose things ahead of time,
(47:52):
especially with family
Edgar (47:54):
Mhmm.
Paulina (47:54):
You should have said something. And to especially
knowing that there's as aparent, you always have to plan.
Where are you gonna leave yourkids? For how long? Who's gonna
be taking care you of your kids?
So you should be considering ofall those things, first of all.
And now the thing is also saythose those, those things in
(48:16):
front of the kids.
Erika (48:18):
Yeah. That was yeah.
Paulina (48:19):
Just terrible because kids always think that there's
something wrong with them. Yeah.
Edgar (48:23):
That's true. Now they know. Yeah. So Yeah. They
Paulina (48:27):
won't. You know? It's like, they're they they the kids
always feel that it's theirfault for something that if
something didn't work out orthey were not invited, they're
gonna say because of me, mommy.It's like, you know, they go the
kids are already having
Erika (48:40):
That's a
Paulina (48:41):
imagine thoughts in their heads that it's because of
them that mommy can go to thewedding. You know? And it's
that's not okay. You know? I Irespect her wishes of not having
children.
But if it's family, I I feelthat you should've, ahead of
time, let them know that therewill be no children allowed, and
that's okay.
Erika (48:59):
I think they're both assholes. Honestly. Yeah.
Edgar (49:01):
Definitely. Yeah.
Erika (49:02):
I think she should have said, a different I'm a said it
not in front of the kids andthen the sister for just trying
to, like, make it hap like,trying to force her to have the
kids there.
Edgar (49:12):
I know. Yeah. OP's sister yeah. Could have decided, like,
oh, let's go in another roomwhen he put us in the
Erika (49:17):
We could discuss this later. Or Or just Yeah.
Edgar (49:19):
Yeah. They they couldn't have done anything else. So it
was, like, blowing up in frontof, like, OP's entire family.
Erika (49:24):
Yeah. That's you know, that was uncalled for.
Edgar (49:25):
And if they because definitely that Trevio, like,
is, like, traumatized.
Erika (49:29):
He is. I've they were crying, and Jane was crying.
Yeah.
Edgar (49:33):
Mhmm.
Erika (49:33):
There is a little edit that says, my sister always has
been closed with my kids. Theyplay constantly, and she comes
over every week at least. Heracting in that way, speaking to
my kids like that made my kidsnot wanna see her anymore.
Janet, twelve females stayed inthe room when my sister came
over. They usually talk nonstop.
And my sister didn't act thisway towards my kids. I
absolutely would have paid forchildcare for her wedding, But
(49:57):
her acting like that with mykids made me decide against it.
Edgar (50:00):
Mhmm.
Erika (50:01):
Yeah. I mean, come on.
Edgar (50:02):
I think, yeah, she definitely has, like, a level
head after the situation. Like,during the situation, she's,
like, very upset. But, like,afterwards, like, yeah, I think
she came around to, like, a moresensible conclusion.
Erika (50:13):
Yeah. But, yeah,
Edgar (50:14):
I think, yeah, it's very unfortunate about the sister
being, like, so hostile to,like, the kids, like, your
friends. Yeah.
Erika (50:19):
I don't understand that, especially she was close with
them. Mhmm. So the top commentis you all sound like a bunch of
messy drama queens. If yoursister wants a child free
wedding, guess what? She gets achild free wedding.
It's so it's absolutely not yourdecision to make. A child free
wedding are incredibly common.Why wouldn't you ask ahead of
time? It's also not her job toorganize your childcare on her
(50:42):
wedding day. That's an insanething to ask.
But the girl needs to learn howto communicate. Mhmm. Maybe she
could try not to insulting yourkids in front of them while
saying they weren't invited. Butthen your ultimatum ultimatum at
the end, good lord. You allsuck.
I think that's awesome,probably. Honestly, yes. They
all they're both drama queens,and they all are the asshole.
(51:04):
Yeah. I think it could've beenhandled better.
It didn't have to escalate thismuch.
Paulina (51:10):
I agree. I yeah. There's 2 adults, and they
should've solved this in a in abetter way than this.
Erika (51:19):
Yeah. I agree. So this is the final story and the last 1.
Edgar (51:23):
Mhmm.
Erika (51:25):
Yes. The final verdict was?
Edgar (51:27):
Oh, for the last story, the final verdict, I would say
both of them are the asshole.
Erika (51:31):
Yeah. Agree.
Edgar (51:32):
Mhmm.
Erika (51:33):
Terrible. So,
Edgar (51:35):
yeah, the last story is titled for refusing to give my
brother my mom's wedding ring.My brother and I are the only
siblings in my family. So whenmy mother was terminal with her
cancer, she sat us both down togive us each some jewelry that
meant something to her. I got awet wedding ring that once
belonged to her mother, mygrandmother. I was to pass it
(51:57):
down to my daughter.
And my brother got a necklace tobe passed down to his daughter.
Years later, my brother asked ifwe could trade the pieces so he
could give it to his soon to befiance. I said no. Mom would
want me to hold on to it forwhen my daughter gets married.
After going back and forth withhim, he made the choice to stop
communicating with me.
(52:17):
He's getting married and did notinvite me to his wedding. When I
tried to call him, his fianceetold me that it would be best
not to call anymore and that mybrother was really hurt. Am I
the asshole? And, yeah, clearlynot. Like,
Erika (52:30):
Oh my god.
Edgar (52:31):
Just get your own wedding ring. Like
Erika (52:35):
Like, did he not want to spend money on the wedding ring?
Like
Edgar (52:39):
Clearly.
Paulina (52:41):
This is 2 other drama queens.
Edgar (52:44):
Is that 1 of them is a guy?
Erika (52:45):
Exactly. Why oh my gosh. She should be wearing the
wedding ring.
Paulina (52:50):
Yeah. Why why I peep I feel like people are so
sensible.
Erika (52:54):
Sensitive? Yeah. Sensitive.
Paulina (52:56):
Sensitive with these days. You know, it's
Erika (52:58):
You say no, and it's like a world world oh, no. It's like,
oh, it's like, don't talk to me.
Paulina (53:03):
Yeah. I'm like, no. That's something that's not
yours.
Erika (53:06):
Why are you entitled? What like, hello. You your
mother gave you a necklace andgave her a ring. Why can't you
just keep it that way? Why doyou want the ring?
Exactly. Just hello. Like, Idon't understand. Respect her
wishes. Exactly.
Why is he he's being veryselfish. I think he's just
trying to, like, trying to guilther. And then to the point now
(53:28):
inviting her to the wedding.Mhmm. That's just too much.
Oh my gosh. That's way too much.I think he's just going
overboard for something.
Paulina (53:37):
Like, really?
Erika (53:38):
Yeah. That's not okay. The top comment is, he is the 1
who is being hurtful. Honoring aloved one's wishes can sometimes
put us in a difficult position.You're between a rock and a hard
place here, and your brothercould have stepped up and tried
to understand.
He's being selfish and petty. Hehad his future wife do the
communicating because he knowshe's wrong. I will respect the
(54:01):
boundary and now contact contacthim. Yeah. And even to not even
to to even tell her that
Edgar (54:08):
Mhmm.
Erika (54:08):
And the wife make his wife say that, oh my god. He is
oh. No. Just like
Edgar (54:15):
The audacity in that man.
Paulina (54:16):
Yeah. He's wrong.
Erika (54:17):
It's it's terrible. It makes me angry. Mhmm. I I would
be like, alright. Fine.
Don't talk to me then. But I'm
Paulina (54:24):
not giving you the ring.
Erika (54:25):
Exactly. Exactly. You could keep your necklace, and I
keep my ring. That's crazy tome. But, yeah, I think he's
definitely asshole.
Right?
Paulina (54:38):
I agree.
Edgar (54:38):
Mhmm.
Paulina (54:39):
Yeah?
Edgar (54:40):
Yeah.
Erika (54:41):
Alright. So that is the last wedding story. I hope you
guys enjoyed. And thank you,Paulina, for joining us today. I
hope you like the stories, andhopefully they make you too mad.
Thank you.
Edgar (54:52):
She's perching. It was fun.
Erika (54:54):
She started She started, she put her she folded her arms
in the front. She was ready toshe was ready to fight. Oh,
Paulina (55:01):
yeah. Yeah.
Erika (55:04):
She she didn't like that 1 it triggered her a little bit
just ready
Edgar (55:07):
to smack the screen
Erika (55:10):
but yes thank you so much for joining us I hope you join
us next week bye
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
Edgar.
Paulina (00:05):
And Paulina.
Erika (00:06):
And we are the Yaping snouchers. We entertain you with
the app worthy stories we foundaround the web. So we actually
have a special guest today, myolder sister, Paulina. So she's
a wife, a mother of 2 boys, anda puppy snouzer, and 2 fish. She
also loves singing.
Edgar (00:25):
And she's also the co owner of Marlborough Candle Co,
an Austin Snow Candle Company.
Erika (00:31):
And I just have to say they smell really good,
especially the Froot Loops.
Paulina (00:36):
Hi, everyone. Thank you for
Erika (00:37):
having me today. And I hope you enjoy the stories that
we're gonna it's gonna be aboutwedding and all the drama that
comes with it. So the firststory is Emma the asshole for
skipping my brother's weddingbecause his fiancee excluded my
wife from the guest list. Mybrother James is getting married
(00:58):
next month, and what should havebeen a joyous family event has
turned into a nightmare. Theissue, his fiancee Emily didn't
invite my wife Lisa to thewedding.
Emily and Lisa have never beenclose, but I wouldn't call them
enemies either. However, Emilywas always seemed to be a little
bit cold towards Lisa. Thetipping point was last year
(01:21):
during a family vacation. Lisa,who was naturally ongoing and
bubbly, struck up conversationwith everyone, including
strangers at the resort. Emily,who's quieter and more reserved,
seemed annoyed by this.
After the trip, she told Jamesthat Lisa was attention seeking
and accused her of making thevacation all about herself. I
(01:42):
didn't think much of it at thetime, chocolate it up to
personality differences. Fastforward to now, and Emily has
and Emily has made it clear shedoesn't want Lisa at her
wedding. When I confronted Jamesabout it, he admitted it was
Emily's decision, and he said hedidn't wanna push back because
(02:02):
it's her day. He added that Ishould respect Emily's wishes
and come to the wedding alonefor the sake of family harmony.
I was stunned. Lisa and I havebeen married for years, for five
years. She's part of thisfamily. Excluding her feels like
a slap in the face, not just toher, but for me as well. When I
(02:23):
told James I wouldn't attendwithout Lisa, he accused me of
being dramatic and trying topunish him for something out of
his control.
He said I was letting Lisa'shurt feelings ruin his wedding
day. Our parents are divided. Mydad says I'm right to stand with
my wife and that James and Emilyare being unreasonable. My mom,
on the other hand, thinks Ishould keep the peace and attend
(02:47):
the wedding because it's notworth destroying your
relationship with your brotherover 1. Lisa has been deeply
hurt by the whole ordeal.
She feels disrespected andexcluded and told me she would
never have done something likethis if the roles were reversed.
She's trying to be supportive ofwhatever decision I make, but I
can tell she's devastated if Iwent to the wedding without her.
(03:11):
It's put a strain in ourmarriage because she feels like
I'm not standing up for herenough. At the same time, James
is my only sibling, and I'vealways thought we were close. I
know skipping his wedding willhurt him, and it could
permanently damage ourrelationship.
Part of me wonders if I shouldjust swallow my pride and go for
his sake, but the other part ofme feels like this isn't about
(03:32):
one day. It's about standing upfor what's right. I don't wanna
ruin my brother's wedding, but Ialso don't wanna betray my wife
or compromise my values. So am Ithe asshole for refusing to go
to my brother's wedding withoutLisa? So what do you guys think?
Paulina (03:50):
I don't think he is the asshole. I feel like, he is
standing up for his wife. I knowit is I know that it's 1 event,
and it is very important for hisbrother to be there. But,
there's a wife in between, and Ithink once you have a family,
(04:14):
you have to stand up up for yourfamily. It is very it's a very
difficult decision to makebecause family is family.
But once you step out of thehouse and you have a family of
your own, you have to standright next to your family. And
that is your wife, your kids.And, eventually, there will be a
(04:36):
time where where both of the,siblings can have a talk and
discuss about this. And, justthere are other events. Let's
hope that they will be invitedand it will be a family, that's
together.
But for now, I feel like he canhave a separate conversation
(05:00):
with with the brother and andjust let them know how difficult
it is, the posture that he hasput him in for not, inviting the
wife and have that difficultconversation ahead of time. So
when the wedding comes, thewedding comes, then they know
(05:20):
why he wasn't there.
Erika (05:24):
Yeah. So, like, you should just have a conversation
with him and sit down and say,okay. This is why I don't wanna
and I'm not going to yourwedding. So it could help, you
know, at least a little bit ofresentment because I feel
regardless if he does go or hedoesn't, his brother's gonna be
resent have huge resentment forhim not going.
Edgar (05:48):
I feel like them disinviting, like, the OP's,
wife. It's just, like,basically, uninviting him as
well. Like, they he'd like, theeither the the brother or the
brother's wife doesn't, like,value, like, that part of the
family and upset them by both ofthem and, like, not put them in
that situation.
Erika (06:05):
I mean, OP thinks that they're close, so he doesn't
understand why he's you know, Iguess it's not him causing this.
It's the wife.
Edgar (06:14):
Mhmm.
Erika (06:14):
It's his, his sister-in-law that's causing all
this drama.
Edgar (06:18):
Yeah.
Erika (06:18):
So, I mean, he could talk to his wife and well, his
fiancee, almost so soon to bewife say, hey. You know, if you
wanna disinvite her, you'redisinviting my brother, and I
want him to be there. Mhmm.Like, you know, it's just 1 of
those things maybe he could talkto her, but he probably doesn't
want to because he said it's hisher wedding day and whatever
basically, whatever she saysgoes.
Edgar (06:39):
I would just say, like, give the brother 1 last warning
because I know if you don'tinvite her, then, you cannot
expect me to come as well. Yeah.And that's, like, the best I can
do because, like, it's, like,also unreasonable to, like,
someone to throw the like, mostaway for, like, one day.
Erika (06:54):
Yeah. That's hard. It's it's, like, literally his wife.
Like, he does his life now too.Like, you can't just be like,
oh, I'm just gonna go with mybrother because and leave her
behind.
Edgar (07:03):
Yeah.
Erika (07:04):
So the top comment is not the asshole. Turn turn it around
on him and ask how he would feelif the roles were reversed. How
would his fiancee feel if theroles were reversed? The fiancee
is joining the family, and sheshould bear that in mind. His
wife is already in that family.
You can't choose who your familyis, least of all who your
(07:25):
siblings marry, but you can'ttolerate them. It's the fiance
who's causing the rift, not you.Mhmm.
Edgar (07:32):
Yeah.
Erika (07:32):
I agree with that a %. I think the I mean, I get it's her
wedding, her rules, whatever,but, I mean, come on. Like
Paulina (07:39):
I also think that when you're getting married, it's a
decision of 2 people, not just1. And and if it's not only her
wedding, it's also his wedding.And so both of them had to you
know, it's I feel like this isnot going it's the beginning of
this marriage is not going well.So I think both of them had to
(08:03):
become in
Erika (08:03):
an
Paulina (08:03):
agreement and everything, not just the wedding
because afterwards, it's gonnaget even harder. So, if they
don't get out alone or in thesame page with the weddings, I
don't know how it's gonna bewith the rest of the of their
life together. Yeah.
Edgar (08:20):
Wait, Paulina. In your wedding, did you have to make
any compromises with Hector?
Paulina (08:25):
We had to make compromises for how many people
were invited.
Edgar (08:28):
Really? Like, how how so?
Paulina (08:30):
Because we were in a tight budget.
Erika (08:33):
Mhmm.
Paulina (08:34):
And so with a tight budget, it's, compromising, you
know, how many people can youinvite. So we together decided
on how many people, which was 40people. And so the venue was we
actually got it at a good price,which was amazing. But, we both
wrote down a list of the peoplethat we wanted to invite. And,
(08:55):
it was majority was familybecause family to to me and my
husband is everything.
So and there were a couple offriends that we know that were
very close, and that's how weended up just having 40 people
in our wedding.
Erika (09:08):
That must have been hard, especially, you know, at least
our family is what? 12 almost 20people? Yeah. More than 20.
Edgar (09:13):
You're more than half. Yeah.
Paulina (09:15):
Yeah. It was more than half.
Erika (09:16):
So we really we really
Paulina (09:19):
had to, you know, just think about the people that we
both know and we appreciate andthat we felt that they were very
important in our lives. So thoseare the people we decided to
invite.
Erika (09:31):
Wow. That's really hard. Mhmm. But, yeah, you your
wedding was beautiful. Thankyou.
I remember Chelsea and herspeech was hilarious.
Edgar (09:39):
Chelsea had a speech?
Erika (09:41):
Yeah. How old was she? She must have been 8 or
something.
Paulina (09:44):
Like, I can't Yeah. Speech? Yeah. So it was about so
she said because they she saidshe grabbed the mic because they
were saying, if they wanna givethem some advice to the new,
couple
Erika (09:58):
Chelsea.
Paulina (09:58):
And they went. And so Chelsea's advice was, I support
you if you wanna do this. Andthat was the advice. She
supported me. She was there.
Isn't she cute?
Edgar (10:11):
She's wise beyond her years. And she
Erika (10:13):
was only, what, 8 or less? Yeah. She was so cute.
Paulina (10:17):
But there, I invited my sister and she was there and she
supported me.
Erika (10:21):
Exactly. So, yeah, I think it really is just
compromising. I think anyrelationship needs to be
compromised. Well, decisionsneed to be compromised with the
2 couples to make it work.
Edgar (10:34):
Yeah. Definitely. So, yeah, final verdict on this
story?
Erika (10:38):
Yeah. He's not the asshole.
Paulina (10:40):
Right.
Edgar (10:40):
Yeah. Definitely agree about that. For the next story,
it's titled a mighty asshole tolet my sister wear white to my
wedding and kicking her out whenshe showed up in it? I, 27
female, got married two weeksago, and it was supposed to be
the happiest day of my life. Mysister, 31 female, who I have a
(11:00):
complicated relationship with,decided to test me in the worst
way possible.
We've never been close. She'salways tried to 1 up me, even
during family events. It'sexhausting, but I figured she'd
at least behave at my wedding.Months ago, when I sent out the
dress code, I made it veryclear. No one wears white but
me.
It wasn't negotiable. My sistergave me attitude about it,
(11:23):
saying I was being insecure andthat no one cares about
tradition anymore. I told herthat whether or not she agreed,
she needed to respect it. Themorning of the wedding, she
showed up wearing a floor lengthlace white dress. It was
practically a bridal gown.
My heart dropped, and I straightup asked her what the hell she
was thinking. And she said, it'snot that way, and besides, no
(11:47):
one will care. I told her thatif she didn't change, she wasn't
welcomed. She threw a tantrumabout how I was ruining her day
and stormed off, tellingeveryone I was being bridezilla.
Some family members told me tolet it slide because she's just
like that, but I was done.
So I told the staff not to lether back in unless she changed.
(12:07):
She never came back, and nowshe's telling everyone I ruined
a relationship for good. Myparents are mad saying I
should've just ignored herbecause it's only a dress, but I
feel like this was a deliberatechoice to sabotage my day. My
husband agrees with me, but somefamily is still pissed. So am I
the asshole?
Erika (12:27):
This makes me have rage. Oh, man.
Edgar (12:33):
It's, like, just overly petty for no reason. Like, just,
like, it's, like, 1 simple role,and that's the only role that I
imagine that was, like, hadabout the wedding, and the
sister broke it.
Erika (12:45):
Yeah. What do you think, Paulina?
Paulina (12:47):
Well, when I'm invited to a wedding, I am not wearing
white because I let the bride bethe 1 that shines. That's her
day. And so I'm being veryconscientious when I I get
invited to weddings, and I willnot wear white because I feel
that's not my that's not mywedding. And so I feel that she
was disrespected by her sister,and it's too bad that they
(13:10):
couldn't you know, that thatrelationship was already broken
and that, you know, that hersister didn't really respect her
decision, and it was her bigday. So, I definitely think that
she's not the asshole for forhaving a dress code in her
wedding.
Erika (13:30):
Exactly. I think it's just terrible how she decided to
use this 1 day, like, herwedding day to 1 upper, I guess,
or destroy it or ruin it forher. I think she just waited for
this moment to ruin her wedding,honestly. I don't think they I
mean, obviously, they don't havea good relationship, but I think
she's just taken it too far. Ithink after this, I don't think
(13:52):
the relationship is gonna be,any closer, probably further
apart because and I don't blameher either.
I mean, why do you want asibling like that? If, like, a
stranger or your friend wouldn'tdo that to you, why you what how
about your family? Like, it'scrazy to me. Yeah. She's just
very disrespectful andcompletely ignored what, you
know, was asked for her 1 thing.
Edgar (14:14):
Yeah. I can't believe, like, some of the family, like,
are on the the sister side onthis.
Erika (14:19):
Oh my god. I would kick them out too. Get out.
Edgar (14:21):
All of them are stoned.
Erika (14:25):
It's ridiculous. Come on. Then have her go to your wedding
wearing white. Let's see howmuch you like it. Hello?
Go into my shoes and see how youfeel. I hate when people do
that. Like, just keep the peace.That's how she is. Yeah.
That's too bad, but she's notcoming in. I would I would them
the same thing she did. Kick herout, and don't let anybody have
her come in anymore.
Paulina (14:45):
Yeah. And, also, like, the parents are they were mad
saying that she should ignoreher because it's only addressed.
I am sorry, but the parentsshould have done a better way.
Raising them. Address yeah.
Raising them and addressing thisseparately. Like, if I was a
parent, I'd be like, let's go.We need to talk. And even if
she's a grown up person, I'lljust take her aside and make her
(15:08):
change or go away.
Erika (15:10):
Yeah. It's it's simple. No. Regardless how old you are,
you know, you need to respecteach other.
Edgar (15:15):
Mhmm. You need
Erika (15:15):
to have a good relationship. So the for the top
comment is not the asshole. Yoursister disrespected you clear
dress instructions and showed upin a white gown, almost
identical to a wedding dress.She was trying to seal your
spotlight at your wedding. Youwere right to uphold your
boundaries and not let her ruinyour day.
Ignore the family members whosay you should have let it
(15:38):
slide. This is was this was yourspecial day. She didn't care.
Exactly. And then OP actuallyresponded to this.
She had every chance to wearliterally anything else but
chose suit that dress onpurpose. Letting it slide would
have given her permission topull stunts like this at every
major event. Some people need tolearn the hard way that actions
(15:59):
actions have consequences. So,yeah, I agree 100%. She was
definitely not in the wrong.
The sister was definitely theasshole. And the parents and
those family members that said,just let us slide. No.
Edgar (16:13):
I know. And, like, what what what was the sister
expecting, like, for her to comeinto, like, the party like that?
Like
Erika (16:18):
I don't get it.
Paulina (16:20):
Yeah. Like, I would never do that to you. Let's say
you're getting married. How inthe world I'm gonna be wearing
white knowing that you're thebride?
Erika (16:28):
That's crazy.
Paulina (16:29):
Even though we might have our arguments and we'll not
be on the same page, that's yourday, your special day.
Erika (16:35):
Yeah. I don't care how crappy of, like, relationship
you have with your sibling.Like, come on. Why are you
trying to ruin the wedding?Mhmm.
Edgar (16:43):
Yeah. So final verdict on that?
Erika (16:46):
Not that asshole.
Edgar (16:47):
Yeah. Hope he's not the asshole.
Erika (16:49):
She should've done it more. She would have been more
Edgar (16:51):
more mad.
Erika (16:53):
She should have ruined she should embarrassed her for
everybody who's getting that asmuch. It's revengeful. But, you
know, just kicked her out wassuffice. That's how I feel at
least. Right?
Alright. So the next story isthis 1 is a little bit long. So
it says, Emma de Aspo foruninvited my fiance's work wife
(17:15):
from our wedding. I, 29 female,supposed to be marrying the love
of my life, 31 male, in a fewmonths. We've been planning this
wedding for over a year, andit's been beautiful but
stressful experience.
But there's 1 person casting ashadow over everything, and
that's my fiance's work wife,Lily thirty female. Let me
(17:39):
backtrack a little. My fianceand Lily have been friends and
coworkers for around five years.At first, I was honestly
relieved he had good friends atwork, especially since his job
can be demanding and a bitisolating. I tried to be cool,
understanding partner who wasn'tbothered by how close they were.
But over time, their bond becamewell, it became something I just
(18:01):
don't know how to handle. Lilyis a huge part of his life. The
they text constantly, often lateinto the night about everything
from work issues to littlejokes. She knows things about
him that sometimes I don't. Andit stings me to realize how much
he turns to her for advice andlaughs instead of me.
(18:22):
My fiance reassures me thatthey're for just friends, that
she's his work wife, and thatit's no big deal. But it feels
like she's gotten so close thatI'm sometimes the 1 on the
outside looking in. As we gotdeeper into the wedding
planning, Lily started chimingin with her opinions. She has
suggestions about our venue. Itdoesn't feel like him, our
(18:45):
flowers.
She's never like he's neverliked bright colors, remember?
And even my wedding dressmentioning of Henley that she
knew his style better and couldhelp me pick something he'd
love. I tried to laugh it off,but it hurts more than I wanted
to admit. Here I am planning mywedding, and I felt like I had
to measure up to her view of myfiance. Last week, our
(19:10):
engagement party was ourengagement party, and it was
supposed to be such a happy day.
But I kept noticing Lily gluedto his side. I tried to join the
conversation, but every time,she bring up a work story or
inside joke that left me feelinglike the third wheel of my own
engagement. Then in 1 worstmoment, I walked up to her
(19:35):
saying, you know, if you changeyour mind, you could always
marry me instead. My heart sank.I didn't know if she was joking
or half serious, but my fiancelaughed, brushing it off like it
was no big deal.
I couldn't just let it go. Ipulled my fiance aside later
that night and told him howinappropriate her comment was.
(19:59):
He looked at me surprised, likeI was taking it too seriously
and that Lily was just playingaround. I felt like I was going
crazy, like maybe I was seeingsomething that wasn't there. But
how would anyone be okay hearingthat from someone so close to
their fiance?
The last straw came toward theend of the night. Lily had a few
drinks, and she came up to measking if I was really okay with
(20:23):
with how close they were. Shesaid something like, I mean, I
can't imagine him with anyoneelse. I felt like a knife to my
chest. I wanted to scream, butinstead, I just walked away.
Later, I told my fiancee Ididn't want her at our wedding
and that it was too painful tohave someone there who clearly
saw herself as part of ourrelationship. He got defensive,
(20:45):
saying it was I was overreactingand letting jealousy ruin our
friendship. He cherishes. Heeven implied that uninviting her
would damage his reputation atwork. And now he's barely
talking to me because he saysI'm making him choose between
his best friend and his fiance.
I don't know what to thinkanymore. I feel hurt, small, and
(21:07):
my and, like, my feelings don'tmatter. My friends support me,
but his friends think I'moverreacting and letting
insecurity ruin ourrelationship. Am I blowing this
up, or am I in the right forsome respect and boundaries? Am
I the asshole for asking him touninvite her from our wedding
after everything that'shappened?
(21:31):
That was hard.
Edgar (21:32):
I think, yeah, the, the coworker, the fiance's, work
wife, it it made the veryappropriate very inappropriate,
like, comments about, like, oh,we can, like, marry me if, like,
this doesn't work out. Like,that's something she shouldn't
say.
Erika (21:45):
If she wasn't sure. Yeah.
Edgar (21:46):
Especially, like, you're not in front of, like, the the
the wife.
Erika (21:50):
Well, she's she came up. She wasn't there. She came up,
and she heard that comment.
Edgar (21:55):
Oh, I see.
Erika (21:56):
She was they were talking behind her back about this.
Like, that's even worse.
Edgar (22:00):
Yeah. Yeah. That's even worse, actually. That might be
yeah. Because that means, like,she she's, like, very confident
when, like, in it probably is,like, kinda a little bit 2 faced
too, you know?
Like, maybe in front of thewife, she's, like, oh, all nice
and, like, seems like a friend.But maybe when they're, like,
not together, like, which is whyshe's the work wife, she's,
like, probably doing a littlebit more.
Erika (22:17):
I honestly think he's an idiot. Mhmm. Because if he's
planning on marrying this womanand if this woman tells him, I
don't feel comfortable withthat, then you respect her
decisions and say okay. Why?Because he's planning to spend
the rest of his life with thisperson.
I'm sorry. Wives come first overbest friends. And even if you
(22:38):
were best friends, if you'replanning on spending the rest of
your life with this woman andshe tells you she feels
uncomfortable or she's hurt bysomething she said, then do what
she's saying because herfeelings matter. Like, what what
is going on?
Edgar (22:54):
Mhmm.
Erika (22:55):
Why is she marrying why is he marrying her? What do you
think, Paulina?
Paulina (23:00):
Oh, I feel like there's a lot of things wrong here.
First of all, I don't like theterm work life Haters. I don't
like it because I call itsomething else. She's your
secretary. She's, your Coworker.
Whatever it is that but don'tcall her a work life because
(23:20):
you're mixing two two thingshere. You are mixing your
friendship, and you're mixingyour work, kind of. So having a
work wife, it means can't canyou handle it yourself, or do
you need someone to be there? Ithink he's very codependent of
this person, of Lily, and it'snot making decisions on his own.
(23:44):
And then second of all, ifyou're gonna get married, you
have to plan this with yourfiance, not having your what
does your work wife, has to doanything with your wedding?
This is your wedding. She's notworking in your wedding unless
she's the wedding planner.Exactly.
Erika (24:04):
Why was she a part of all those planning? I don't
understand that. She's not evenher friend, like her best
friend, maid of honor, orsibling. Why is she there? Just
because she's best friends withthe husband?
Like, no. You're uninvited. Iwould have not had her nowhere
near my planning on the weddingor anything because she is
(24:24):
nothing. She is nothing in thisrelationship. She I think she
allowed this to happen, so shethinks she has the right to say
certain things.
So because she didn't set thatboundary, she now thinks she's
able to do a lot more things andbe part of their relationship. I
think she should have saidsomething in the beginning.
Paulina (24:45):
Oh, and I think the the soon to be husband should've
draw the line between work work,work wife and fiance. If he's he
allowed the work wife to do tostep in to places that she
(25:07):
wasn't even supposed to be. Youknow? She's and then he's
saying, you know, he she's toothat Lily's taking it too
seriously. And who in the worldwill be texting him the middle
of the night jokes and workstuff?
No. That's gonna be no. Yougotta draw a line between work
(25:28):
and within your your regularlife. So he's he's allowed her
to just there's no boundaries.He has not step in and say, no.
This is my wife and this is mytime. Please don't interrupt me
during these hours and blah blahblah. But he's allowing her to
be part of his life. And to thefact that she is saying, the
work wife is saying that, makingthose comments, I feel like
(25:51):
there's not even just a workwipe, but I feel that there's
other feelings involved.
Erika (25:57):
Yes. And now that you say that, the first, the top comment
actually says, not the asshole.But to be honest, it sounds like
2 of them are having anemotional affair. Exactly. And I
feel like that's worse than justhaving an affair, just affair,
like, you know, cheating atsomeone or whatever.
I feel like emotional affair,it's just ties it's it's like
(26:18):
you're tangled together way morethan just sleeping with someone.
Her comments are completelyinappropriate, and your fiance's
willingness to side with her andchoose her over you is hugely
concerning. I can absolutelypredict on the day of the
wedding, she's gonna try toinsert herself into everything.
It sounds like she's a levelthere's a level of jealousy
(26:40):
here. And based on what she'sshe did at your engagement
party, this is gonna escalate onthe day you get married.
And then you can likely lookforward to the future of her
inserting yourself into yourrelationship. The home you buy,
your children, and yourhusband's gonna keep allowing
this to happen. You need to askyourself if you can live with
this trouble. Yeah. I think thehusband is, I'm honestly he
(27:05):
should marry her.
Paulina (27:06):
He should marry Just thinking that. I
Erika (27:08):
was just
Paulina (27:08):
thinking that. I'm like, really? Instead of
becoming just the work wife, shecan become the old wife.
Erika (27:13):
The real wife. Yeah. There you go.
Edgar (27:15):
Yeah. I guess at that point.
Erika (27:17):
Yeah. Because I get especially,
Edgar (27:18):
like, when you get the label, like, work wife or
husband, they're like thatimplies, like, everyone else in
the office sees something, like,more in that relationship.
Erika (27:26):
Well, I've seen people have, like, work wife and but
like,
Edgar (27:31):
when you see those, like, kind of people like that, that
kind of like dynamic in work, doyou think they're just friends?
Or you think they're more? Yeah,
Erika (27:37):
I have what is fun people that I've seen it. I don't think
there's anything more than that.But you know, it just depends.
Like, obviously, the woman alsohas to have boundaries and and
the guy too. And if you see,like, they have a good
relationship or whatever, that'sfine.
But, like, you know, there hasto be a, a boundary. Mhmm. And
there's no boundaries in thatrelationship, then that's where
(27:58):
the the line is kinda blurred,and that's where the danger
comes in.
Edgar (28:02):
Yeah. Because, like, a lot of people, like, work is,
like, their only life, like,also their only social lives. So
it's, like, pretty hard for,like, people to, like, kinda
separate that. So I kind of,like, advised of him saying, oh,
we shouldn't, like, disinviteher because, like, then it's
gonna miss make my work moremissable or, like, more awkward.
But, also, like, I don't think,like, work's that important at
the end of the day.
Like, he always get another 1and not be in that situation in
(28:24):
the first place and not, like,get himself into another
situation in another workplace.
Erika (28:29):
Yeah. I mean, it's I think
Edgar (28:31):
he's like, I think the decision for her him to uninvite
the work pipe would probably be,like, not to, like, how he wants
that to affect his, like,workplace.
Erika (28:39):
Yeah. That's true. He did say that that if he would she
was not to get invited, it willbe be affecting his work life.
Edgar (28:46):
Like, could it cause him to be fired? Did it cause him
to, like, lose any partnershipswithin his work? Like, it's
something else to, consider aswell.
Paulina (28:55):
I feel like she also he also give her, a certain
authority over things at work.Like, there's it seems like
she's has some type ofauthority, and that is that he's
feeling, he's feeling worriedabout what's gonna happen at
(29:16):
work. Again, we're going back toboundaries. What kind of power
does she have that it caninfluence his work? And,
Erika (29:27):
That's a scary thought too.
Paulina (29:28):
Is because he is not just thinking about, his wife,
but is thinking about his work.And so, you know, what kind of
power she has?
Erika (29:39):
Yeah. I think it's important to really, like, think
that through, or maybe he shouldexplain to her a little bit
more, like the wife or thefiance. Soon to be wife explains
her, you know, this ishappening. You know, this is
what, you know, the dynamic is,and that's why I can't invite
her. Like, you know, it's justthe communication as well.
If he was to talk to her aboutthe relationship, not just,
like, completely shut her outbecause she said here that he
(30:02):
doesn't wanna talk to heranymore. He's ignoring her. And,
basically, just the concernsthat she had or whatever, he
doesn't care.
Edgar (30:11):
Mhmm. Yes. That's, like, a pretty bad red flag for me on
that behavior. Because I knowanything, she said, kind of
solidifies, like, the OP's fearsabout, like, what could be going
on.
Erika (30:22):
Yeah. Because at the end
Edgar (30:23):
of the day, like, we all need to work stuff, but he also
have just been saying that justto, like, guilt her.
Erika (30:28):
Yeah. I mean, like, how would you react if I said I had
a work husband?
Edgar (30:32):
I would like
Erika (30:34):
it. He should have said he wouldn't like it. I like your
honesty, but well, I don't havea work husband, so you're okay.
Edgar (30:42):
I mean, it's like a I feel like it's not a good idea
to have, like, anyone that closeat work.
Erika (30:46):
Right. Yeah. Because if they could literally use your
weakness against you since theyknow so much about you. I don't
know. It's just really hard.
Edgar (30:54):
I mean, like, I
Paulina (30:54):
have a you know, I work in a field that's very you know,
a lot of people say it's alonely chair. I work in human
resources too. So it is a lonelychair. And you have to be very
careful with the relationshipsyou form around the company,
around wherever you work. So, itcan be it can you you can feel
lonely sometimes becauseeverything you say, it's
(31:15):
probably gonna be against you.
So you gotta be really, reallycareful. So, I get it. But to
the fact that he is telling her,you know, telling Lily that
just, you know, it's this is toomuch. You shouldn't feel this
way, and, I feel like you'recrazy. You know?
(31:36):
There's nothing there. You know?That's that's not that's not
okay. If he needs to have a comsomething like that's happening
at work where he's feelingafraid or feeling concerned of
what's gonna happen, you know,with, with not having whatever
that not inviting, the otherwork wife to, the wedding, then
(31:57):
he needs to be I think he needs
Erika (31:59):
to speak up
Paulina (32:00):
Yeah. Yeah. He needs to speak up to her, and he needs to
and he needs to let her knowwhat's what's really going on.
And even if it's a hardconversation to have, then it's
better to have it before thewedding.
Erika (32:11):
Yeah. So that before if, you know, she decides she can
deal with this. Like, she Ithink she OP needs to really sit
down and think it through. Like,can she live the rest of her
life living like this? Andbeing, in a throuple, which
somebody commented, like, beingin a relationship of 3.
Because it looks like she's notgoing anywhere. So she really
(32:33):
needs to before she gets,married and tied down with that
guy, she was she really needs toreflect if she wants to live
like that. Alright. And then Iwhat what's our verdict?
Edgar (32:45):
Yeah. Find her the dots.
Erika (32:47):
Not I don't think she's the asshole, but I think he is.
And the the work wife are bothassholes.
Paulina (32:56):
Mhmm.
Edgar (32:56):
Yeah. I think at first, I thought that, OP was a little
bit of an asshole trying to,like, cause a wedge in, like,
his workplace, basically. Butthe more I thought about it, I
think, yeah, I think OP isn't,like, isn't in the wrong. Like,
she's, like, in the right and,in saying that she wants an an
invite, the work wife.
Erika (33:12):
Yeah. I think her comments were inappropriate
saying, oh, if you change yourmind, you know, I always have
that's just weird. That's likecrossing the line there.
Edgar (33:19):
Yeah. So yeah.
Erika (33:21):
If she didn't say that, I would be like, alright. You
know, maybe they have a goodrelationship and, you know, they
mixed it, like, they have aclose relationship. But then
when she said that, I was like,no.
Edgar (33:29):
Yeah. It's, like, totally inappropriate.
Paulina (33:31):
There's definitely something else going
Erika (33:32):
on. Mhmm.
Edgar (33:34):
Okay. The next story is titled asshole who walking out
of my mom's wedding after whatshe said during the ceremony.
This has been eating me at thishas been eating at me all week,
so I need some outsideperspective. I'm 20, and I have
a really complicatedrelationship with my mom. She's
45.
She's always been the type ofperson who knows exactly how to
(33:55):
push your buttons. She'll saythe most hurtful things at the
worst possible time, but thenplay it off like she was just
being honest or joking. It'sbeen like that my whole life.
Anyways, she got remarried lastweekend. Her first marriage was
to my dad, and they had mepretty young.
My dad isn't really in my lifemuch. He moved out of my stay
(34:17):
when I was 10, and while we talkoccasionally, it's still a
really sore spot for me. My momknows this. She's always known
this. Fast forward to thewedding.
She asked me to be her maid ofhonor, and I agreed because
despite everything, I wanted herto be supportive. The ceremony
was beautiful, and I wasstanding right next to her
holding her bouquet. Then out ofnowhere, she leans over and
(34:40):
whispers to me, isn't it sadyour dad didn't even bother to
come? Guess we both know whereyou rank on his priority list. I
was stunned.
It felt like someone punched mein the stomach. I didn't say
anything because what could Ieven say? I just sit there
holding her flower, trying notto cry in front of a hundred
(35:01):
people. As soon as the ceremonyended, I handed the bouquet back
to her, walked straight out ofthe venue, and left. I didn't
even go to the reception.
I just couldn't. Now my phone isblowing up. My mom is fierce
calling me selfish and saying Iembarrassed her in front of her
new husband and his family, andshe says I ruined her big day
(35:22):
over something so small and thatI should have just ignored it. A
few relatives have sided withher saying I should have sucked
it up for a wedding and talkedto her later. But to me, it
wasn't small.
It felt like she deliberatelychose that moment to hurt me,
and I don't think I could havejust stood there pretending. I
could've just stood therepretending everything was fine.
(35:44):
And my asshole for walking out.Should I have stayed and dealt
with it later?
Erika (35:51):
Yeah. I don't think OP was the asshole. I think the mom
really is. Well Yeah. Like, thatthat was uncalled for.
Edgar (35:59):
It's, like, especially cruel. Like, you don't say that
to someone and, like I I I don'tknow why she would say that
besides thinking, like, oh, shelikes to, like, harm people.
Like, she likes to be makepeople uncomfortable or, like,
sad.
Erika (36:10):
Oh, saying that she was joking or she was being honest.
Mhmm. Like, how people she saidthat she likes to say that I was
just being honest or joking.
Edgar (36:18):
But that's, like, a cover to her, like, what she actually
wants to feel, which is, like,she likes seeing people be,
like, be uncomfortable or, like,
Erika (36:24):
seem to
Edgar (36:25):
be invisible. Yeah.
Erika (36:26):
That's that's terrible. I mean, like, who hurt you, sir? I
mean, ma'am. Who hurt you thatyou wanna hurt everybody else? I
I feel like people that hurt.
That people are like this arehurt inside. So they want to
hurt everybody around them.
Edgar (36:38):
Or you could just be bad people.
Erika (36:41):
I don't I feel well, why is a bad why does somebody
become bad?
Edgar (36:45):
Some people are born bad.
Erika (36:47):
No, I don't think that. I don't think everybody's born
bad. I feel like they becomethat way. Because of there comes
a nature and nurture. Really.
It just it's difficult. I don'tthink nobody comes in this world
evil. I don't think so. I thinkthe the experiences, the way
they grow up, the way they'retreated, everything takes into
(37:10):
play on who you become. And atsome point, really, I mean, you
choose to be a certain person.
And then if obviously, you'rehurting inside, you want to hurt
everybody else. Because I don'tknow, you don't want to see
anybody else happy, because youare not happy. So I feel like,
you know, it's just 1 of thosethings where I feel bad for
people this way. But, yeah, I Idon't think it's right.
(37:33):
Especially, why would do youwanna hurt your daughter?
She's being there for you onyour wedding day, and you just
wanna, like, physically a slapin the face, with those words.
And I don't blame her forwalking out. I would go low
contact low contact with her. Imean, why do you wanna have a
relationship that is so toxic?And regardless if she's your mom
(37:57):
or not.
Edgar (37:59):
So, yeah, you personally would would have left if she
said that to you? Like, your momsaid that to you?
Erika (38:03):
I would have left. And those people that are saying,
oh, you should have just, youknow, sucked it up. No. Then you
shouldn't be part of my lifeeither if you think so.
Edgar (38:11):
Yeah. I think I would have personally stayed just to
be supportive and just to doublefair because that's
Paulina (38:15):
She don't deserve it.
Edgar (38:15):
I am.
Erika (38:16):
Yeah. But no. She don't deserve I no. I give people what
they if they give me something,I give them that something back.
Mhmm.
If she's giving me all thiscrap, I'm not gonna give her
anything. I just don't take. Ijust gonna go. She doesn't
deserve anything from me.
Edgar (38:33):
How about you, Paulina?
Paulina (38:35):
I I think words have power. And I feel like she's got
to the point where I don't knowwhat happened to that or
whatever the situation was. Butas a parent, because I'm a mom,
I know what can I pour out, whatI'm pouring out to my kids? I
(38:56):
don't know what the mom has beenpouring out to her about the dad
Mhmm. That she's hurt.
You know? I don't know whatexactly happened. Even might be
might be the truth or not. Butas parents, we have to stay
neutral, especially for the sakeof our own the good of our kids.
Mhmm.
So I don't know what she's doneto her daughter that, that she's
(39:18):
hurt. She knows that that thisis something that's that that
it's very touchy for her.
Edgar (39:23):
Yeah.
Paulina (39:23):
So and for the mom to just say, you know, your dad
wasn't here. First of all, whywill the dad come to her
wedding?
Erika (39:31):
I don't get that.
Edgar (39:32):
Some people do that.
Paulina (39:33):
Yeah. I I get. But first of all, I wouldn't invite
him to my wedding unless I wanthim to see how happy I am.
Erika (39:39):
Yeah. He's like, hey. Look at me.
Paulina (39:42):
Look at me,
Edgar (39:42):
new guy.
Erika (39:43):
Yeah. Exactly.
Paulina (39:44):
So I wouldn't, like, I would've stayed, and I would've
ignored her coming.
Edgar (39:50):
Mhmm.
Paulina (39:51):
Yes. It would've it would've bother me. Not much
just not hurt me, but it wouldbother me because I'm like,
first of all, I wouldn't thinkshe would invite my dad. Why in
the world would it invite mydad?
Erika (40:01):
But
Paulina (40:01):
Mhmm. Depending on her personality. And then second of
all, I'd be like, I'lldefinitely mention this back to
her. But, again, I would justlet it I will let it slide
because it was not it's it willnot affect me because of why
would it in my mind, I'd belike, why would you invite my
dad? Like, it's other I I feellike the other story will be if
(40:22):
it was my wedding and my dadwasn't there.
Yeah. That would be different. Iwould be, like, really saddened
if she would've made a commentlike that. I'd be, like,
devastated. Mhmm.
But in her wedding, I'd be like,I don't care. It's your wedding.
Erika (40:36):
But I think it's normal for I think it's more Americanos
that they do that.
Paulina (40:42):
I know they do. I know
Edgar (40:43):
they do. So I
Erika (40:43):
think that's crazy. I mean, I don't know. I think
Edgar (40:45):
No? Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, I feel like there's a lot
more stories of, like, yeah,like American families. They're
like, oh, I haven't talked to mysister in, like, a decade or two
because, like, we had anargument. Like, I feel like
that's, like, maybe not normal,but I feel I hear more about it
from, like, from thatdemographic.
Erika (41:00):
Like, they could just stop talking to people and then
invite them to a wedding. LikeYeah. I'm like, no.
Paulina (41:06):
That's weird.
Erika (41:07):
I don't know.
Edgar (41:08):
Like, I have to talk to my sisters and, like, my mom and
dad, like, every, like, everyday or every other day.
Erika (41:13):
Yeah. I mean, same. I'm I feel like we're very close knit.
Like, I could not imagine nottalking to my sisters a day.
Like
Paulina (41:21):
I know.
Erika (41:21):
And we always be sending videos to each other and stuff
like that. Like, I I don't getit. I mean, we are blessed to
have that, I think. We're reallylucky Yes. To have a a
relationship like that because Iknow a lot of people that's
definitely not the case.
Paulina (41:35):
Yeah. And because I feel like our culture will be
like, I don't care if my dad isnot here. It's not his business.
But like Ed was saying, maybeit's just the demographics and
it's yeah. She probably is hurtbecause the dad is there.
But I personally wouldn't takeit seriously. And I'd be like,
whatever. It's your wedding. Ifyou don't want him to come, it's
not my I don't want. Probably ifshe wanted to see the dad,
(41:57):
maybe, but it's like it's an
Erika (41:59):
I think she feels hurt by that too.
Paulina (42:01):
Yeah. May maybe that, that he didn't come, but it's
like, it's not her wedding. Itwas last wedding. Like, again,
I'd be, like, really, reallysad, but I would just ignore my
mind for the rest of thewedding.
Erika (42:14):
I would just leave. I just I don't I don't like that.
I don't know. I just I think Ijust, I'm the type to just,
like, isolate myself when I feela certain way. Mhmm.
But, yeah, I don't think she isthe asshole at all. That's the
thing that's for my my verdict.It's hilarious.
Edgar (42:33):
You ready?
Erika (42:34):
Okay. So the top comment is, why would your father show
up at your ex's wife wedding?She sounds like a bitter old
cow.
Edgar (42:43):
Alright.
Erika (42:44):
I'm sure he avoids her like the plague.
Edgar (42:47):
Mhmm. Well,
Paulina (42:48):
that's what I was saying. I'm like, what was
showing? He showed up to herwedding.
Erika (42:53):
That's so funny. Yeah. I think it's I think she's oh, he
just really hurt because he hada chance to see her and he
declined and did not. And hehe's already, like, not part of
her life as much as she wantedhim to. So I feel like he did
another thing that he wasn'tthere for her.
You know what I mean? So I thinkthat's what her mom wanted to I
(43:14):
wanted to participate. Yeah.Yeah. Which is cruel, honestly.
She she's really that asshole.And the Can't wait
Edgar (43:21):
for the update for the divorce? Oh. The second divorce.
Erika (43:24):
Oh, yeah. And then she's gonna remarry again? Alright. So
Edgar (43:29):
Hey. Final verdict on
Erika (43:30):
the story? The final verdict, she is not the asshole,
but the mother is and the fatherfor not being there for her.
Agree. You're indifferent
Edgar (43:38):
to the father. I'm indifferent to the father.
Erika (43:41):
I feel I mean, like, if he would have been part of her
life, she wouldn't be feelingthis way. Mhmm. But If he if you
decide to have a child and youdecide to, say I'm gonna be this
father then why are you makingyour children feel this way?
Edgar (43:54):
Mhmm.
Erika (43:55):
Be a father.
Edgar (43:56):
Your young children. Remember when they first got it,
so they're probably not thinkingabout that.
Erika (44:01):
Still, you should be responsible Mhmm. Regardless how
young you are. Okay. So the nextstory is Emma the asshole for
refusing to follow rules of mysister's wedding. My sister,
female eighteen, will marry herhusband, male twenty two, next
weekend.
She sent me an invitation to bethe bridesmaid back in Oct. 0,
(44:22):
and I said yes before asking herwhat the rules for the wedding
would be. Flash forward toChristmas day, few weeks before
the wedding. At my parents'house, and I asked my sister
what my children will be wearingand what their roles would be.
She asked shocked and says, whatare you talking about?
Your kids won't be at thewedding. Who wants wedding with
(44:43):
the kids? I was extremely upsetshe said it this way in front of
my children and was veryconfused. I wasn't personally
told that kids couldn't come,just assumed they could. Am I in
the wrong for assuming this?
Anyways, there's a bit ofargument, and then my sister
says, why the hell would Iinvite messy kids to a beautiful
(45:06):
wedding? I don't need them therefor one day. My kids were still
in the room during this, and my12 year old started crying,
which led my 4 year old Johncrying. I said to my sisters,
could have organized somethingfor my kids or let them know
what the plan is. You're sounprepared for the wedding.
(45:26):
You're a kid. She left myparents' house with her fiance
and then me, my husband, and thekids left too. I messaged her a
couple days later simply sayingeither you let my kids come to
the wedding or you sent back mybride's mid dress. I'm sick of
your childish behavior. Am I theasshole?
Edgar (45:45):
Yeah. I think so. It's, like, definitely a preference
thing. Like, whether you wantkids
Erika (45:49):
to be asshole? Yeah.
Edgar (45:50):
I think you OP's the asshole. I think the OP's,
sister handled it not well.Like, but, like, basically, her
her terms with her wedding.Because, like, think about the
the kids too. It adds, like, alot more cost to the wedding as
well.
And maybe she does have a pointthat, like, in some cases, like,
the kids are would would kinda,like, hinder, like, the the
(46:13):
solemnness and, like, the beautyof a wedding.
Erika (46:15):
Okay. How about this? How about we are invited to a
wedding of your family, but thenyour family says, but you can't
bring your child?
Edgar (46:24):
Then I don't bring her.
Erika (46:25):
You'll be okay with it?
Edgar (46:26):
Yeah.
Erika (46:28):
I don't know. I guess it's really depends on the wife.
But, like, I feel like thisshould have been announced,
announced, like, make sure thateverybody knows this Mhmm.
Beforehand, before they decideto be part of the wedding. I
don't think OP knew anythingabout this and was shocked that
her kids were not gonna be apart of it or was not were not
(46:49):
able able to go into thewedding.
Yeah.
Edgar (46:51):
And now she's demanding that the the kids be invited.
Erika (46:55):
Yeah. So now that's what makes her the asshole.
Edgar (46:57):
Mhmm.
Erika (46:57):
Because, honestly, if she the wife of the wedding and the,
soon to be bride doesn't wantthe kids to be there, I think
you need to respect it.
Edgar (47:08):
Yeah.
Erika (47:09):
Either you can find a babysitter for a couple hours or
just be there for the ceremonyand then leave. I mean, you
could do whatever you like, butI I think at the end of the day,
if the, you know, the bride tobe wants no kids, then you have
to respect it. Mhmm.
Edgar (47:27):
What do
Erika (47:27):
you think, Paulina?
Paulina (47:29):
I I agree. I feel like she should've sent. When she
invited her to be the bridesmaidin back in Oct. 0, she should've
said something. She should'vesaid something about not having
kids in her wedding.
And you know what? It's apreference thing. I get it. It's
the cost involved and otherthings involved too with
children. But, if you don't saythose things ahead of time,
(47:52):
especially with family
Edgar (47:54):
Mhmm.
Paulina (47:54):
You should have said something. And to especially
knowing that there's as aparent, you always have to plan.
Where are you gonna leave yourkids? For how long? Who's gonna
be taking care you of your kids?
So you should be considering ofall those things, first of all.
And now the thing is also saythose those, those things in
(48:16):
front of the kids.
Erika (48:18):
Yeah. That was yeah.
Paulina (48:19):
Just terrible because kids always think that there's
something wrong with them. Yeah.
Edgar (48:23):
That's true. Now they know. Yeah. So Yeah. They
Paulina (48:27):
won't. You know? It's like, they're they they the kids
always feel that it's theirfault for something that if
something didn't work out orthey were not invited, they're
gonna say because of me, mommy.It's like, you know, they go the
kids are already having
Erika (48:40):
That's a
Paulina (48:41):
imagine thoughts in their heads that it's because of
them that mommy can go to thewedding. You know? And it's
that's not okay. You know? I Irespect her wishes of not having
children.
But if it's family, I I feelthat you should've, ahead of
time, let them know that therewill be no children allowed, and
that's okay.
Erika (48:59):
I think they're both assholes. Honestly. Yeah.
Edgar (49:01):
Definitely. Yeah.
Erika (49:02):
I think she should have said, a different I'm a said it
not in front of the kids andthen the sister for just trying
to, like, make it hap like,trying to force her to have the
kids there.
Edgar (49:12):
I know. Yeah. OP's sister yeah. Could have decided, like,
oh, let's go in another roomwhen he put us in the
Erika (49:17):
We could discuss this later. Or Or just Yeah.
Edgar (49:19):
Yeah. They they couldn't have done anything else. So it
was, like, blowing up in frontof, like, OP's entire family.
Erika (49:24):
Yeah. That's you know, that was uncalled for.
Edgar (49:25):
And if they because definitely that Trevio, like,
is, like, traumatized.
Erika (49:29):
He is. I've they were crying, and Jane was crying.
Yeah.
Edgar (49:33):
Mhmm.
Erika (49:33):
There is a little edit that says, my sister always has
been closed with my kids. Theyplay constantly, and she comes
over every week at least. Heracting in that way, speaking to
my kids like that made my kidsnot wanna see her anymore.
Janet, twelve females stayed inthe room when my sister came
over. They usually talk nonstop.
And my sister didn't act thisway towards my kids. I
absolutely would have paid forchildcare for her wedding, But
(49:57):
her acting like that with mykids made me decide against it.
Edgar (50:00):
Mhmm.
Erika (50:01):
Yeah. I mean, come on.
Edgar (50:02):
I think, yeah, she definitely has, like, a level
head after the situation. Like,during the situation, she's,
like, very upset. But, like,afterwards, like, yeah, I think
she came around to, like, a moresensible conclusion.
Erika (50:13):
Yeah. But, yeah,
Edgar (50:14):
I think, yeah, it's very unfortunate about the sister
being, like, so hostile to,like, the kids, like, your
friends. Yeah.
Erika (50:19):
I don't understand that, especially she was close with
them. Mhmm. So the top commentis you all sound like a bunch of
messy drama queens. If yoursister wants a child free
wedding, guess what? She gets achild free wedding.
It's so it's absolutely not yourdecision to make. A child free
wedding are incredibly common.Why wouldn't you ask ahead of
time? It's also not her job toorganize your childcare on her
(50:42):
wedding day. That's an insanething to ask.
But the girl needs to learn howto communicate. Mhmm. Maybe she
could try not to insulting yourkids in front of them while
saying they weren't invited. Butthen your ultimatum ultimatum at
the end, good lord. You allsuck.
I think that's awesome,probably. Honestly, yes. They
all they're both drama queens,and they all are the asshole.
(51:04):
Yeah. I think it could've beenhandled better.
It didn't have to escalate thismuch.
Paulina (51:10):
I agree. I yeah. There's 2 adults, and they
should've solved this in a in abetter way than this.
Erika (51:19):
Yeah. I agree. So this is the final story and the last 1.
Edgar (51:23):
Mhmm.
Erika (51:25):
Yes. The final verdict was?
Edgar (51:27):
Oh, for the last story, the final verdict, I would say
both of them are the asshole.
Erika (51:31):
Yeah. Agree.
Edgar (51:32):
Mhmm.
Erika (51:33):
Terrible. So,
Edgar (51:35):
yeah, the last story is titled for refusing to give my
brother my mom's wedding ring.My brother and I are the only
siblings in my family. So whenmy mother was terminal with her
cancer, she sat us both down togive us each some jewelry that
meant something to her. I got awet wedding ring that once
belonged to her mother, mygrandmother. I was to pass it
(51:57):
down to my daughter.
And my brother got a necklace tobe passed down to his daughter.
Years later, my brother asked ifwe could trade the pieces so he
could give it to his soon to befiance. I said no. Mom would
want me to hold on to it forwhen my daughter gets married.
After going back and forth withhim, he made the choice to stop
communicating with me.
(52:17):
He's getting married and did notinvite me to his wedding. When I
tried to call him, his fianceetold me that it would be best
not to call anymore and that mybrother was really hurt. Am I
the asshole? And, yeah, clearlynot. Like,
Erika (52:30):
Oh my god.
Edgar (52:31):
Just get your own wedding ring. Like
Erika (52:35):
Like, did he not want to spend money on the wedding ring?
Like
Edgar (52:39):
Clearly.
Paulina (52:41):
This is 2 other drama queens.
Edgar (52:44):
Is that 1 of them is a guy?
Erika (52:45):
Exactly. Why oh my gosh. She should be wearing the
wedding ring.
Paulina (52:50):
Yeah. Why why I peep I feel like people are so
sensible.
Erika (52:54):
Sensitive? Yeah. Sensitive.
Paulina (52:56):
Sensitive with these days. You know, it's
Erika (52:58):
You say no, and it's like a world world oh, no. It's like,
oh, it's like, don't talk to me.
Paulina (53:03):
Yeah. I'm like, no. That's something that's not
yours.
Erika (53:06):
Why are you entitled? What like, hello. You your
mother gave you a necklace andgave her a ring. Why can't you
just keep it that way? Why doyou want the ring?
Exactly. Just hello. Like, Idon't understand. Respect her
wishes. Exactly.
Why is he he's being veryselfish. I think he's just
trying to, like, trying to guilther. And then to the point now
(53:28):
inviting her to the wedding.Mhmm. That's just too much.
Oh my gosh. That's way too much.I think he's just going
overboard for something.
Paulina (53:37):
Like, really?
Erika (53:38):
Yeah. That's not okay. The top comment is, he is the 1
who is being hurtful. Honoring aloved one's wishes can sometimes
put us in a difficult position.You're between a rock and a hard
place here, and your brothercould have stepped up and tried
to understand.
He's being selfish and petty. Hehad his future wife do the
communicating because he knowshe's wrong. I will respect the
(54:01):
boundary and now contact contacthim. Yeah. And even to not even
to to even tell her that
Edgar (54:08):
Mhmm.
Erika (54:08):
And the wife make his wife say that, oh my god. He is
oh. No. Just like
Edgar (54:15):
The audacity in that man.
Paulina (54:16):
Yeah. He's wrong.
Erika (54:17):
It's it's terrible. It makes me angry. Mhmm. I I would
be like, alright. Fine.
Don't talk to me then. But I'm
Paulina (54:24):
not giving you the ring.
Erika (54:25):
Exactly. Exactly. You could keep your necklace, and I
keep my ring. That's crazy tome. But, yeah, I think he's
definitely asshole.
Right?
Paulina (54:38):
I agree.
Edgar (54:38):
Mhmm.
Paulina (54:39):
Yeah?
Edgar (54:40):
Yeah.
Erika (54:41):
Alright. So that is the last wedding story. I hope you
guys enjoyed. And thank you,Paulina, for joining us today. I
hope you like the stories, andhopefully they make you too mad.
Thank you.
Edgar (54:52):
She's perching. It was fun.
Erika (54:54):
She started She started, she put her she folded her arms
in the front. She was ready toshe was ready to fight. Oh,
Paulina (55:01):
yeah. Yeah.
Erika (55:04):
She she didn't like that 1 it triggered her a little bit
just ready
Edgar (55:07):
to smack the screen
Erika (55:10):
but yes thank you so much for joining us I hope you join
us next week bye
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