Episode 14: Love Stinks - The Worst Valentine’s Day Reddit Stories - Yapping Schnauzers

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!

Erika (00:03):
Hello. This is Erika.

Edgar (00:05):
And Edgar.

Erika (00:06):
And we are the Yaping Stouchers. We entertain you with
the app worthy stories we findaround the web. We'll start with
a quick comment from a Redditpost titled, and on our
Valentine's Day, what's theworst day you've ever been on?
So it's safe to say that ourtheme today is Valentine's gone

(00:26):
wrong. So it starts off as,first date, I take her to a
movie.
That's what she wanted me to do.Then we went out to eat an
Italian restaurant. During themeal, I feel my stomach start
bumbling. Her friend calls herand says she locked her keys
inside and needed her to comelet her in. Her apartment was a
good thirty minute drive, so weleave.
My stomach is making somenoises, and I'm feeling it.

(00:50):
Halfway through the drive, ithits me. I'm about to crap my
pants. So I'm speeding to herhouse with the windows down and
the stereo crank so she can'tsmell or hear my involuntary
farts.

Edgar (01:03):
Wow.

Erika (01:04):
Finally, we we pull up to her apartment. I ask her if I
could use her restroom, whichshe replies with, of course. We
walk up to her apartment door,and and then it's open. A large
group of her friends are there.It turns out it was a surprise
birthday party for her.
Without wasting any time, I makemy haste for the bathroom. The

(01:25):
bathroom is rather small with anaccord accordion door and
located right across from herbedroom. But I cannot help. I
sit down on the toilet andunleash the wrath of God on this
toilet. I could not have beenquiet no matter how hard I
tried.
I'm there for a good tenminutes. I finish, flush, wash

(01:47):
my hands, walk out walk out.

Edgar (01:54):
You can say it.

Erika (01:56):
Walk out to her and three of her friends standing there
with the most disgusting lookson their faces. More disgusted
looks on their faces. So I justsaid, I gotta go. I left and
turned her out to be our firstand last date.

Edgar (02:12):
I mean, the date itself isn't bad. It's just that,
everything after the date.

Erika (02:17):
I think he's lactose intolerant, and he should have
not been eating spaghetti oranything with cheese and milk.
Mhmm. And that's why he feltfelt the rumbling. I think the
worst part is that there was anaccordion door, and those things
don't

Edgar (02:32):
What's an accordion door?

Erika (02:33):
So it's like one of the you know, the closed closed
doors that go like that?

Edgar (02:36):
I open closed Oh, and it's sliding doors?

Erika (02:37):
Yeah. But they go like that, and they're like a
triangle like this.

Edgar (02:41):
So they said, like, do you hear everything? Yes. They
cried hearing crying? Yeah.Praying for praying for some
deity to, like, give him mercy.

Erika (02:50):
Yeah. There was no soundproof at all in that
bathroom door. So they heardeverything.

Edgar (02:55):
That's crazy. I mean, it is normal, but, like, it I feel
like everything went wrong forhim at that moment. He was,
like, a surprise party, like,just a bunch of traffic and
having to go a long distance.Like

Erika (03:07):
I mean, he was really nice enough to do that. It
speaks volumes. Like, honestly,I think it would have been
hilarious, but I don't think Iwould have, like, I would have
just, like, scarred him fordoing that, like, altogether.
Because if he was nice enough totake you back to your apartment
thirty minutes away and thenstill wanna hang out with you.

(03:28):
You know what I mean?

Edgar (03:29):
Mhmm. Yeah. So he yeah. He's definitely, like, one of
the nicer guys or one of themore desperate guys depending on
how you see it. Oh, okay.
Because he has, she was, like,with her friends and all that
stuff. I imagine

Erika (03:40):
It was a surprise party too.

Edgar (03:42):
Imagine that, like, all these people, it probably, like,
kind of influenced her as well.They're like, oh, why'd you
bring this dude?

Erika (03:49):
Yeah. That's that's kind of funny, though. I feel bad.
Yeah. Would that be, like, adeal breaker for you?
If you had, like, a first day,like, day, if you brought a girl
home and then she'd, like,destroy the toilet and your
family

Edgar (04:04):
I think I feel like I would laugh. For me, it wouldn't
be like a red flag or somethingthat, like, ends it, you know?
Because just things happensometimes.

Erika (04:10):
Yeah. Like, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Edgar (04:13):
Exactly. Yeah. I think we I still go go into a few more
dates afterwards, but

Erika (04:17):
Let's see how it goes. Yeah.

Edgar (04:18):
There it goes. That that alone wouldn't be like some
breakup or someone before.

Erika (04:22):
Yeah. I mean but I think it's embarrassing for the person
that happened. So I think theywould not wanna see you because
they're, like, too embarrassedto see you again. I think I
would never look at the personagain if I would've done that.
But if I've had somebody donethat to me, I wouldn't care
either.
I wouldn't give them so achance.

Edgar (04:38):
Mhmm.

Erika (04:40):
Alright. There's no really top comments because it
was like a a comment itself andreal.

Edgar (04:44):
So And and like to close it off, I know this isn't an MIT
asshole story, but, like, whowould you say is the asshole in
this situation if there are any?

Erika (04:53):
Nobody. I think the friends were kinda judgmental.
They're giving him disgustedlooks. Yeah. But, like, I mean,
it happens.
Like, it is what it is. I mean,it's kinda rude that you go to
somebody else's house andexplode them.

Edgar (05:06):
Is it?

Erika (05:07):
I literally

Edgar (05:08):
I mean, like actually in writing its course.

Erika (05:10):
I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I mean, you don't
even know this chick and thenyou go to the her apartment and
then, like, and, like, reallyexplode in there. I mean and
everybody hears it. Like, Idon't know.

Edgar (05:26):
Sebastian, just like one last thing too. Like, the the
the guy in the bathroom, he,like, he's using the bathroom
and then he has the music stop.But yeah. It's just

Erika (05:34):
bad luck.

Edgar (05:35):
I think ultimately, like, I think just the friends were
the assholes in the situation.

Erika (05:39):
A little bit. Yeah. I mean, it's understandable to be
disgusted because come on. Mhmm.Anybody would like you come out
the bathroom after destroyingit.
And even like, ew. But I mean,

Edgar (05:51):
I don't know. I don't

Erika (05:52):
think anybody is an asshole. It's just it's just
something that happens. Peoplejudge. Alright. So what's the
next story?

Edgar (05:58):
Yeah. So this next story is titled, am I the asshole for
telling my husband he isinsensitive for not wanting to
get me a Valentine's Day gift.Background number one. My
husband secretly met anotherwoman about two times a year for
four years and complained aboutme to her while pretending to me
that everything was fine. Therewas no romance, but he shared a

(06:19):
lot with her that he didn'tshare with me.
And she encouraged him to lie tome. I gave him another chance
and we are supposed to bereconciling right now.
Background number two. Myhusband is Japanese and I am
American. Every year we rotatebetween American and Japanese
style valentines days.
For Japanese style, the womangives the man chocolates, which

(06:40):
he reciprocates on white day amonth later. Background number
three. My husband is oftenpassive and I am often labeled
as controlling. Recently, I toldhim I would no longer make
requests of him, I e, nohouseworks, planning dates,
etcetera, and allow him to makeall his own decisions. Usually,

(07:00):
I bring up Valentine's Day a fewweeks in advance and we discuss
how we will do it this year.
We often can't remember what wedid last year, so we had to
discuss it. This year, to lethim make his own decisions, I
bought him chocolate and I lethim deal with whether he wants
to do it on his own. Three daysbefore Valentine's Day, he asked

(07:22):
me which way we are doing itthis year. I say it's up to him.
He seems to remember doing itAmerican style last year.
So he wants to do Japanese stylethis year. I say okay. The next
day, I remember that we actuallydid Japanese style this year and
I tell him so. He asked me whatI would like to do then. I say

(07:46):
it's up to him.
He chooses Japanese style again.When I asked him why, he says
there was no particular reasonand he didn't think about it
much. I got upset because itseems like he made a decision
based on what is easiest for himrather than considering what I
would like. As I am American andwe did a Japanese style last

(08:07):
year, I would have liked toreceive something. He said I
shouldn't get upset because hewould have done it American
style if I had told him what Iwanted.
However, I think he should havecome to that conclusion on his
own. At first, I tried not tosay anything since I didn't want
to control this choice. However,he could tell I was upset, so he

(08:28):
asked me what I was what waswrong. When I told him, he
argued with me about it. Then wegot in a big fight where I
basically said he's insensitive,and he said I am overly
sensitive.
Am I the asshole?

Erika (08:43):
I wouldn't say she's the asshole.

Edgar (08:45):
I wouldn't say she as an OP is the asshole. And, I think
him, he's, like, a littleasshole ish, but, like, not,
like, overly so. Like, he's

Erika (08:54):
He doesn't care. It feels like he just I think he's just
already clocked out since

Edgar (08:59):
he

Erika (08:59):
cheated he cheated on her.

Edgar (09:01):
Oh, I forgot that. Okay. So he is the asshole. I feel
like okay. I I I totally forgot.

Erika (09:06):
Forget. It's the first sentence.

Edgar (09:08):
Because it's such a long time ago since I read that. But
yeah. Okay. I guess, yeah, thatmakes sense now that why he's
acting that way. I was like, whyis he acting, like, so passive
and stuff like that?
But, yeah, if he's been, like ifhe's emotionally cheated with
someone else, I can see whyhe's, like

Erika (09:21):
Yeah.

Edgar (09:21):
Not fully into this relationship.

Erika (09:23):
I don't get why she's still with him.

Edgar (09:24):
Mhmm. I think it's a mixture of, like, comfort, but
also for the situation, there's,like, a a lot of
miscommunication that's, like,obviously, like, affecting
relationship.

Erika (09:34):
Well, I mean, it's kinda hard to trust or try to be with
somebody. Well, I mean, I guessfrom not from experience, but
what from what I heard. I meanand then how I would feel if I
was cheating. I don't think itwould be hard for for anybody to
trust that person or, you know,try to make him work a little
bit harder for what he did. Youknow what I mean?

Edgar (09:55):
Yeah. I think it's a

Erika (09:57):
Make up for what he did. I don't know. I think he just
she's just kinda hanging on toolong, and she should just let
him go, unfortunately.

Edgar (10:04):
I mean, it depends on how long they've been together. But,
I mean, for her to hinge

Erika (10:08):
It doesn't matter how

Edgar (10:09):
long effort on the Valentine's Day is, like, I
don't think it's that wiseeither. Like, we have something
like this. If they do wannareconcile past the the cheating,
it should be, like, kind of,like, a daily or weekly thing
they work on, not just like, oh,we better place all the
importance and all the effort onthe Valentine's Day.

Erika (10:26):
Yeah. And yeah. And I feel like he's not making the
effort, though, because he chosethe the holiday celebrated as
the woman doing everything.

Edgar (10:35):
Yeah. I mean, I never heard of that, like, in well, I
mean

Erika (10:37):
I have.

Edgar (10:38):
I I don't know about the Japanese way of doing a lot of
things, but yeah, I never heardthat, like, in Japanese
Valentine's Day that the woman,like

Erika (10:45):
Makes chocolate. Yeah.

Edgar (10:46):
Yeah. Makes chocolate, and they they initiate the, the
the, I guess, the effort.

Erika (10:51):
Yeah. I've heard of that. And then they they actually do
white day.

Edgar (10:55):
Well, why is it called white day? Do you know?

Erika (10:57):
No. But I know it's, like, something that where the
man brings her stuff now on thatday, reciprocates it back. Yeah.
And It

Edgar (11:05):
takes a whole month to do that?

Erika (11:07):
Yeah. I don't know. It's Bro. I don't know. I don't know
their culture.
I think that's prettyinteresting because, you know,
that's not how we do it. Okay.But the top comment is I really
don't know how the dude can makeit any clearer that he's just
not that into you anymore. Hechecked out at least four years
ago, probably more, leave, foryour own sake, while you still
have some sole respect. This waspainful to read.

(11:29):
You deserve better. Not that aswell. I agree.

Edgar (11:32):
I wasn't in pain, but yeah. I get it.

Erika (11:35):
No. It was painful to read because, like, she's
labeled as somebody that's,like, controlling. So she lets
him do whatever he decides. Butthen he doesn't care enough to
do anything. It's sad how muchshe's trying to have faith on
him, but he she he's justdoesn't care.

Edgar (11:53):
Yeah. I think we're just kind of going, they should just,
like, talk through it just tosee, like, where everyone's at
and, like, what theirexpectations are. I just need to
communicate more because if itworks out, like, there's, like,
a password working out that canwork on that. But if there isn't
and they, at least OP's,boyfriend should step forward
that. So just, like, make iteasy on everybody.

Erika (12:14):
Yeah. And then just how their communication, I feel
they're really lacking on that.I've like, they're just simple
things where she could have justsaid, okay. You know, I'm gonna
try and be controlling, but wedid this last year. This year's
American style.
Mhmm. It would have saved awhole different like, a whole
expectation, a wholemisunderstandings if she would

(12:34):
have just said, yeah. Last year,we did American. Now you make up
your mind if you wanted to doJapanese or not. Less than a
simple.

Edgar (12:42):
Yeah. It was like, I really had to have done in that
situation.

Erika (12:45):
Yeah. I don't understand. I mean, she's also making it
difficult. I feel they're bothdazzle. I don't know.
It's hard. I feel like it'sthey're, like, they both need
to, like, either she forgivesand forgives them or she just
lets go. Mhmm. Because it's notgonna work out with back and
forth like that.

Edgar (13:04):
Yeah. I think they're probably not, like, really
compatible with each other.

Erika (13:09):
Yeah. I mean, like you said, no matter how long you've
been with somebody and you havecertain situations where he
cheats on you a certain way, Imean, you have every right to
leave that person because youdeserve better.

Edgar (13:21):
What's the right

Erika (13:22):
They're both the assholes.

Edgar (13:24):
I say, OP's boyfriend's moody asshole. OP is, not an
asshole, but kind of a prickfor, like, making it that's just
a whole situation.

Erika (13:34):
I don't

Edgar (13:34):
know. A lot more difficult.

Erika (13:36):
Yeah. And they're like, they just need to work it out.
The next story is Emma theasshole for doing nothing on
Valentine's Day. My wife is mylobster. We met seventeen years
ago and married two years later.
We have two incredible feralteenage daughters. They're
romantic in our family. Our tenyear anniversary, I surprised

(13:57):
her by flying her bridesmaidsback to our town and held a vow
renewal in the same place we gotmarried with the same
photographer, officiant,flowers, etcetera. In the
beginning, I would make flipbook stories and wire art for
her from the stuff at work.After we earned more, I would
start sending her away and visither girlfriends and jewelry,

(14:19):
etcetera.
I even surprised her with aChristmas trip to visit her best
friend in England where she gotto see her great grandmother for
the first time in thirty yearson her hundredth birthday weeks
before she passed away. I'mhopeless romantic raising two
daughters and worshiping them.It's always been important to me

(14:41):
to show them how a partnerdeserves to be treated, to never
expect or settle for less thanthey're worth. My wife, not so
much. She loves me.
I know. She doesn't do romance.She's never done anything on for
Valentine's Day or anniversariesand even forgot my birthday
once. I never it never got tome. My daughter suggested I take

(15:02):
a break from things and just donothing for Valentine's Day
since mom always said we don'tneed to be told when and how to
love our partner.
So I got a signed andpersonalized book from her
favorite author in a handcraftedletter bookmark with her
initials. Well, she found out Ihad no real plans and kinda blew
out a bit. Told me it was crappyto not do anything. I still got

(15:26):
flowers, the book, the bookmark,and her favorite restaurant. But
for her to be mad is usuallyoutright filled.
Am I the asshole here?

Edgar (15:38):
Yeah. No. He's not the asshole at all in this
situation. Like, I feel like shereally likes, like, all this
attention and all this, like,loving stuff. Like, that's why
they've been together for solong.
But I think, eventually, overtime, she kind of, like, took
reciprocate? She doesn't need toreciprocate. More like she just
took a van like, took care forgranted. So when it was finally

(15:58):
not here, she's, like, pissedoff.

Erika (16:01):
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just I felt like in a
relationship, it should be giveand take. It shouldn't just be
you expect your husband, yourboyfriend, or whatever to do it,
to do everything all the time.It should be, you know

Edgar (16:16):
Mhmm.

Erika (16:16):
Let's take turns. Or I do it this year, do it next year.
Or if let's do it together orlet's you do something and we do
it, you know, something elsethat you wanna do. Like, I don't
know. It's just something thatyou give and take.
I feel like that's the best wayso people don't feel or anyone
doesn't feel left out or feel acertain way. So there is an

(16:36):
edit. My wife is incrediblyattentive and giving, just not
overly romantic and is terribleat gift giving. Doesn't mean she
doesn't try. She's also notspoiled.
Sorry if I gave that impression.She's always super grateful, and
I love thinking about how tomake her happy and doing little
things for her. That's notspoiling her. It's consideration
and to and for her happiness.Our 14 year old suggested a

(17:01):
quiet night when I wasstruggling for ideas, at least
for ideas as the last threemonths have been insanely
stressful with work.
My wife's best friendrescheduled it, and so I'm
soliciting marital advice fromour 14 year old. This is also
the first time she's asked if Ihad made plans and told her no.
First time in seventeen years.So it's probably came across as

(17:23):
shocking to her, and I'm worriedof possibly giving her the wrong
impression about not caring orthat hers is possibly just an
expectation response.

Edgar (17:31):
I think he's just been doing too much for too long and,
like,

Erika (17:35):
I mean, he likes to do it though.

Edgar (17:36):
Yeah. He likes to do it, but, it's like, everyone can see
it. Like, her her daughters cansee it. The friends can see it
that he's just doing too much.And he's, like, he did his edit,
like, just to make it seem,like, in a better light when we
all got, like, enoughinformation to know, like, how
she reacts to the situation.
If she was actually grateful, hewould have added that in the in
the main story.

Erika (17:57):
Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I mean, also, like,
thinking of it this way. I'mtrying to be devil's advocate
here. Like, let's say you'reconstant with me. You're a very
constant person.
So let's say you do this for meevery day, and then or you do
this every once in a while, andthen you just stop doing it
altogether. Mhmm. I would feellike something's wrong, or I

(18:17):
feel like something's changed inour relationship or you don't
care anymore.

Edgar (18:21):
Mhmm.

Erika (18:21):
Like, you know, because you stopped doing what I you
know, something for me that Ilove that you would do
constantly. So, like, I feellike that's also to keep in
consideration that maybe shefeels a certain way because you
stopped out of nowhere. Like,she wants maybe she feels weird
because something's changed. Shefeels something's changed in the
relationship.

Edgar (18:41):
But I don't think it's appropriate to be, like, angry
about it. Like, maybe we justtalk them through and just say,
hey. Are you, like, tired? Like,what's it's like, just just to
probe to see what's, like,really going on instead of just
jumping into the conclusions of,oh, he doesn't love me anymore
or just getting mad for whateverreason.

Erika (18:56):
Yeah. But they get It's

Edgar (18:57):
not a healthy way to, like Yeah. To take in the
situation.

Erika (19:02):
Yeah. I mean, I I obviously, I think communication
is key and for every issue inthe relationship, but that
always doesn't happen. I mean,sometimes you just get upset.
Maybe later on, she'll talk tohim be like, you know, I felt
this way, or I got mad becauseof this way. Because I feel this
certain way.
But I think he'd right now isjust the beginning stages. Like

(19:23):
she just got mad.

Edgar (19:25):
Yeah.

Erika (19:25):
I mean, I think Ideally,

Edgar (19:26):
yeah, everyone acts the best way possible. But, yeah.

Erika (19:29):
I mean, they've been together seventeen years.

Edgar (19:31):
At least seventeen years. And then they already have,
like, teenage daughters, so theywere pretty quick with
everything.

Erika (19:36):
I don't I think she's a little bit of the asshole, but

Edgar (19:41):
Definitely, OP is not the asshole. And the wife is the
asshole in this situation.

Erika (19:46):
Yeah. And the top comment is not the asshole. If she's not
going all out in return, thenshe has nothing to be mad for.
Extra points for you for beingsuper, super considerate
present. It's so wonderful tohave thought out goods like
that.

Edgar (20:01):
Mhmm.

Erika (20:02):
Yeah. I mean, not many men do that for their wives,
girlfriends, or whatever. A lotof men just don't have it in
them. They have no romantic bonein there.

Edgar (20:12):
I think he has too much romantic bone in his body
because, like, his entire liferevolves around pleasing his
wife, which is why, like, thisis, like, a big stress point for
him.

Erika (20:21):
There's nothing wrong with that. If he wants to see
her happy, then so be it. Andand I think it's okay. If he
wants to be romantic, let him beromantic. Yeah.

Edgar (20:29):
I mean, I've if there comes a point where it, like,
it's kinda bad for you. Like,it's good to, like, shower your,
like, girlfriend or wife, with alot of attention and love, but,
like, to the point where, like,that's the only thing that you
have going for you in your life.Like, I don't know the rest of
his his life story, but this isthe only thing that's, like,
that people know about him inlife. It's a little bit
prophetic.

Erika (20:48):
Well, no. There's nothing wrong with that. I think you're
wrong with that. I think he'dhe'd also said that he had a
stressful, week or three month,with the work or something. He
he was stressed.
So I think also that kindadampered on his, you know,
usual,

Edgar (21:08):
you

Erika (21:08):
know, very giving detail thing for Valentine's, which it
which happens. I think sheshould have been a little bit
more understanding. Mhmm. Butthat doesn't mean that he should
just stop doing anything for herjust because, like, she reacted
like this. I think it's justsomething they should talk it
out.
And it's okay for him to be thatway because he wants to see his

(21:30):
wife happy, and there's nothingwrong with that.

Edgar (21:32):
But, also, like, one one other thing to to say He's

Erika (21:35):
just the look I'm giving him right now. My my glare. What
what did he

Edgar (21:41):
Even though he didn't, like, all out this Valentine's
Day, he still gave her flowers,books Yeah.

Erika (21:46):
It's so really sweet.

Edgar (21:48):
But, even that wasn't, like, enough for her. And, like,
after doing all that, he stillfeels bad. So it just if it
speaks to, like, an unhealthysort of, like, dynamic or, like,
unhealthy amount of commitmentto, like,

Erika (22:01):
going about that. Expectations.

Edgar (22:03):
Yeah.

Erika (22:04):
Which I get. But, like, I mean, if you didn't want to do
that for your girlfriend or yourwife, then you shouldn't have
started that way. I don't know.I feel like it should be a
balance. Like I said, she alsoshould at least try or be
romantic or be thoughtful hereand there.
I feel like he's doing too much.Like I told you, it's give and
take

Edgar (22:23):
at

Erika (22:23):
least for me.

Edgar (22:24):
It kinda depends on the person too because, like, it
seems like well, because, like,seventeen years is a long time
to know somebody. So I think,like, him saying, oh, she's not
really the gaming type, like,even in the beginning of the
relationship. Let's just peoplehave their own style of showing
affection and stuff like that,or like showing appreciation.

Erika (22:38):
Yeah. Like a lot of people have different signs of,
showing love. I mean, peoplelike the gift giving or acts of
acts of care or whatever, youknow, that could be your gift
way of showing love. I mean,it's it just depends on your
love language.

Edgar (22:53):
Yeah.

Erika (22:54):
And, I mean, he I think his love language is just, you
know, being thoughtful andgiving her gifts. There's
nothing wrong with that.

Edgar (23:01):
Mm-mm. Alright. So final verdict on this story?

Erika (23:06):
I would say he's not the asshole.

Edgar (23:10):
Yeah. Yeah. He's not the asshole.

Erika (23:11):
And she is.

Edgar (23:12):
She's not fully an asshole. I think she's just,
like, caught off guard. So, Imean, asshole ish move, but I
think it's something that theycan come back from.

Erika (23:19):
Oh, yeah. I don't think it's, like, break up worthy or
anything like that or, divorceworthy at all. It's just, you
know, a little bit morecommunication. That's it.

Edgar (23:27):
So, the next story is titled, anybody asshole for
making plans on Valentine's so Idon't babysit my granddaughter,
My 36 female daughter Leah,seventeen female, is a teen mom.
My daughter got pregnant at 14,and it was very shocking news.
But we found out very early on,and she got to abort it. A few

(23:49):
months later, and she gotpregnant again, and I couldn't
handle the situation very wellat the time. But having my
sister, her aunt, talk to herabout what she was planning to
do, she decided to keep thebaby, which I'll admit I wasn't
very happy to hear, and I toldher she'll have to be
responsible about theconsequences.
Of course, as a mother, Icouldn't have her work and

(24:11):
distract herself from school. Ididn't want her to miss out on
her childhood, so I had to workevening night shifts to care for
my granddaughter while Leah wasin school. I've realized that
Leah has been taking advantageof my situation and making me
cancel plans so I can babysitfor her. So I overheard her

(24:32):
making plans for Valentine's twoweeks ahead on the phone with
someone saying, my mom would doit. She has no life anyways.
Ridiculous. We can stop thestory, but I'll keep going. But
and laughing afterwards. Being asingle mom and having to work
multiple jobs was hard enough,but since she gave birth to her
daughter, I haven't gone out toany parties. I've canceled many

(24:55):
weekend gatherings so that mydaughter can be able to hang out
with her friends.
And if I did go, I'd always havemy granddaughter with me, and
for her to laugh about mysituation like that angered me.
That same day, I was asked by aguy I've been seeing to
accompany him on Valentine's,and I was hesitant, but I didn't

(25:15):
want to miss the chance. He's areal nice guy. I haven't been on
a date for almost six years, andit wouldn't hurt to give my
daughter a taste of motherhoodwhen she least expected it. I
told my daughter that I gotasked out for Valentine's and
she was happy at first, but thenasked if I was going to take her
daughter with me.
And I said, obviously not, andshe will have to cancel plans

(25:38):
for a day. I didn't expect herreaction to be so extreme. She
cried, screamed, and told me Iwas being selfish and that I was
letting her miss out on her datejust because I thought a guy was
interested in me.

Erika (25:51):
Audacity.

Edgar (25:53):
The argument didn't end very well. I stood my ground and
went to that date, and she hadto cancel plans. But she's still
really mad about it and has beenignoring me. I love my daughter,
and I wouldn't want her to missanything, but I wanted her to
learn a lesson and beresponsible. My sister agrees
with me, but my friend told me Ishould have done it on a normal

(26:15):
day and not on Valentine's.
Does my approach make me theasshole? Absolutely. I know.
Yeah. She has, like, noobligation to, like, take care
of this child at any, like, anyday.
Like, she's like like, rightnow, she's basically her
daughter's child's actual mothermaking all the, like, real
sacrifices that, her daughterisn't making. So, yeah, I think

(26:38):
it's, like, ridiculous, like,how unappreciative the daughter
is, and the daughter should belucky for, like, having, like, a
a mother as, like, the OP.

Erika (26:49):
Yeah. I I just oh my god. This really frustrates me
because she already had apregnancy scare, and she was
able to abort it. And then tohave a baby again, it's crazy to
me.

Edgar (27:03):
Where was the like, where's the baby daddy in this
situation? And

Erika (27:06):
Clearly not there. It's At 14, like, they're babies,
growing I mean, trying to parentbabies.

Edgar (27:16):
Mhmm.

Erika (27:17):
So I think it's just ridiculous. I think the mom
should have put her foot down along time ago. I think she was
trying to take care of the babyand her, which is
understandable. I mean, she'sonly 17, but, like, she never
allowed her to takeresponsibility for her child,
which caused this type ofbehavior on her part. Yeah.

(27:40):
I think it's just one of thosethings where some you give
people your hand and then theygrab your elbow. Like, have you
ever heard that saying?

Edgar (27:49):
No. But I I get I get what it means.

Erika (27:50):
It's more like a Hispanic, but I just translate
it in English. But, yeah, it'sjust like one of those things
where you really have to makeyour child be responsible and go
with the consequences. Becauseif you don't, they're gonna
continue relying on you, andit's gonna be like, yeah. Why
not? Just like her.

Edgar (28:10):
Yeah. She was like, yeah. My my mom doesn't have a life
and like, this is all that. Iwas like really crappy to say.

Erika (28:15):
It's disrespectful. Mhmm. You're literally throw throwing
shit or, like, eitherdisrespecting her for saying
something like that while she'sbeen with you and helping you
Mhmm. For so long.

Edgar (28:25):
I know. Pulling, like, the the the huge majority of the
weight of, like, raising achild. And, like, I I want I
just wanna bet that, like, theguy that the daughter was trying
to make plans with forValentine's Day probably isn't
the baby daddy.

Erika (28:40):
Of course not. Definitely not. There's no way.

Edgar (28:42):
It's very unfortunate.

Erika (28:44):
Yeah. And then the fact that the mom had to, like, put
out everything and pause justfor her daughter, for her
daughter's mistake, she has toalso get consequences because
she's a good mother. And thenshe stopped dating for six
years. Like, her her last shesaid, I haven't been on a date
for almost six years.

Edgar (29:04):
Mhmm.

Erika (29:04):
And, sure, it was like, she did it on purpose, but I
thought that was a good lessonlearned for her daughter. Yeah.
Because it's not herresponsibility.

Edgar (29:12):
Do you think her approach would be better if she didn't do
it on Valentine's Day?

Erika (29:16):
No. I think I like it better. Yeah.

Edgar (29:18):
I mean, it doesn't matter what day, but, like, Valentine's
Day. Yeah.

Erika (29:21):
I don't care. I like it better.

Edgar (29:22):
Ruin something.

Erika (29:23):
Yeah. So she could learn.

Edgar (29:24):
Mhmm.

Erika (29:26):
The top comment is not the asshole, but you will be
covering too much for yourdaughter under the guise of
letting her have a childhood.You shouldn't give all your
social life so that she doesn'thave to give up anything. She's
supposed to give up in myopinion, she's supposed to give
up stuff because she has to knowthe consequences of her choices.
So this is where she's kind ofin the wrong. Back to the

(29:48):
comment covering for herfinancially so she doesn't have
to work and can build a goodlife for amazing parenting being
in a life being a life andbabysitter, you will only harm
her and the child.
She will never learnresponsibility. Mhmm. And that's
a % true.

Edgar (30:07):
I think OP, like, she cares too much for her daughter
to the point, like, she's notletting her, like, face
consequences, not being free,not being able to, like, grow
into her own person. Exactly. Iagree. Like, you know, I don't
think it's, like, an OP being,like, an asshole doing that,
though. I think it's just her,like, not understanding that
there to be changes to therelationship.

Erika (30:27):
To be too nurturing, and she's not allowing her to
receive the consequences of heractions, unfortunately.

Edgar (30:32):
Yeah. Like, three years with the baby and, like, the
daughter doesn't know anythingabout being a mother.

Erika (30:36):
No. Because she's taking care of the baby herself, and
she's so she wants her tocontinue being a teenager while
she takes care of the baby. Sowho's the parent here? I don't
think the daughter is her parentof the baby because she's taking
on responsibility of the wholeraising her and the child.

Edgar (30:54):
I know. It's, like, annoying. Like, the daughter
should have, like as soon as shehad the, like, the actual baby,
like, she should know thatthat's the end of her childhood.

Erika (31:02):
Yeah. But, you know, sometimes, you know, maybe I
don't know. I think it's justhard. It's a hard dynamic to
really when you start a certainway and and when your and your
child gets used to you doingsomething, it's hard for you to
stop just because she's soreliant on you.

Edgar (31:19):
Yeah.

Erika (31:20):
So continue with the comment says, that last fact can
be attested by the fact that shegot pregnant twice in a month
while being 14 or by the factthat she had a crazy tantrum
when told she couldn't do as shepleased. She was not taught
responsibility nor givenconsequences.

Edgar (31:38):
Basically, like, this child is like her own sister.

Erika (31:41):
Yeah. And that's sad because you should be the mother
if you decide to do that. Ithink the mom kinda she tried to
protect her to the point whereshe never took responsibility. I
don't think she it makes her theasshole, but I think she needs
to rethink her parenting alittle bit.

Edgar (32:00):
Yeah. Yeah. OP. Yeah. Redink your parenting.
Be less nurturing. Like, let letyour daughter fail a little bit
for a little while so she can,like, grow into a at least be a
mom.

Erika (32:12):
Yeah. I mean, Griffin, we're not parents, and I think
it's hard to say that because wedon't have no children.

Edgar (32:17):
My dog's counting children and cats.

Erika (32:21):
You're so funny. It's not the same. I feel like because
we're not parents, we're justsaying that, and I think it's,
like, really hard. Like, I'm mymom always tells me, you're not
a mother, so you don't know whatit is. Like, which I get it.

Edgar (32:33):
But I can tell the difference, like, oh, yeah.
Obviously, the kids can'tshouldn't be playing in the
streets. Like, stuff like that.Like, common tense things. Like,
you don't need to be, like, aparent to, like, know what's
right or wrong.

Erika (32:42):
I don't know. And then also at 14, like, where was the
mom too? Like, that she gotpregnant twice. Like, what is
going on? Like, did she give herso much rain, like, to just go
out and about?

Edgar (32:52):
Obviously, too much rain. Yeah.

Erika (32:53):
Yeah. And then to be pregnant at 14, like, that's
crazy to me. Mhmm. Oh my god.Like, imagine.

Edgar (33:00):
I don't want to.

Erika (33:01):
I would like if my child came to me and said that she was
pregnant at 14, and I would notlet her go out at all.

Edgar (33:09):
Never again.

Erika (33:10):
He well He caged

Edgar (33:12):
the window.

Erika (33:13):
You're so funny. No.

Edgar (33:14):
I To the dungeon.

Erika (33:16):
You're so funny. No. I would obviously have her, an not
house arrest, but, like, timetime in. Nothing else. No going
out with friends.
No nothing. Because she needs totake responsibility for her
actions. She think that she shenever learned about the
abortion. She probably justthought, oh, yeah. I just drink
this pill and it's over.
Like, it doesn't matter. I feellike if her mom would have given

(33:40):
her more consequences for doingthat, she wouldn't have got
pregnant again.

Edgar (33:43):
Mhmm. So

Erika (33:44):
I think she's lacking in that a lot.

Edgar (33:46):
Yeah. Alright. So final verdict?

Erika (33:50):
She's not the asshole. She just needs better parenting.

Edgar (33:54):
Exactly. Yeah.

Erika (33:56):
Next story is, am I the asshole for sending my
girlfriend too many Valentine'sDay flowers and making her
sister's husband look bad?That's like all the next title.
Okay. To explain where I'mcoming from here, I need to
establish two things. One, Ihave high paying job that often
requires I drop everything intravel without notice.

(34:18):
It is infuriating at times, butI get paid well, so I've learned
to live with it. Two. Mygirlfriend loves flowers more
than anything. I get it. Mostgirls love flowers, but they are
her favorite thing in the world.
She literally makes me stop thecar when we're driving just so
she can take pictures of prettyflowers. Early in our

(34:38):
relationship, I had to misssomething important without
notice. To make up for it, Isent her three dozen roses. She
loved it and probably as a joketold me I had to set the bar and
I had a better always send herthree dozen roses if I was going
to let her down. We've beentogether three years since then,
and I have always sent her threedozen roses whenever we would be

(34:59):
apart.
It's a tradition, and we bothlove it. Onto the dilemma. A
girlfriend got bad news about afamily member's health and
headed back to her hometown acouple weeks ago. I couldn't
join. Her two sisters came backas well as their husbands.
Valentine's Day came around, andalthough it wasn't my fault we

(35:19):
weren't together, I ordered agift of three dozen roses,
candy, and a stuffed animal. Dayoff, I got an alert from FedEx
of a delayed shipment and panic.It broke my heart to think that
she wouldn't get any flowersthat day. So I called around to
a local florist and found onewho will deliver them for a fee.
I sent another gift pack ofthree dozen roses.

(35:43):
Turns out FedEx managed todeliver the original package.
Girlfriend ended up with sixdozen roses, two cards, two box
of chocolates, and a teddy bear.She joked that I had now raised
the bar, and she expected noless than 6,000 roses anytime we
were apart. All jokes aside. Icould tell she really
appreciated the trouble I wentthrough.

(36:04):
The next day, I heard from hersister's husband. They were
furious with me, saying I madethem look awful. Turns out one
bought his wife a leftoverbouquet of a half dead tulips,
and the other didn't get hiswife anything at all. I guess
they both were going to use thecommotion as an excuse. My

(36:25):
girlfriend ended up sharing herroses with both of her sisters
so they all could feel special,but it was clear they were all
from me.
My instinct was to take avictory lap, but my girlfriend
mom and dad called and explainedthat they thought I should
apologize. While theyappreciated me always making
romantic gestures, I can affordto do so while their other
daughter's husbands can't. Theysee where things are going and

(36:48):
assume we'll be all family soon.It would be a good idea for me
to make peace with the othertwo. That's true in the sense
that I didn't really mean to doanything to their detriment, but
I also never expected them to besuch shitty partners that they
thought it would be okay to noteven bring their wife's flowers
on Valentine's Day.
But maybe I'm wrong for holdingthem to the standard that I've

(37:12):
set my own relationship. Am Ithe asshole?

Edgar (37:16):
No. I don't think if anyone's to be the asshole, it
would probably be, like, the twohusband in laws.

Erika (37:22):
Exactly.

Edgar (37:23):
Because I feel like I mean, 72 flowers is a lot. I
know they're, like, joking andstuff like that, but, also, it's
like I think

Erika (37:30):
Not a lot of people can afford.

Edgar (37:32):
Not you know? Not a lot of people can afford that. And,
like, it's also, like, not evenlike, I feel like it's a
comically grand gesture. I think

Erika (37:38):
It's not like he did it

Edgar (37:39):
on purpose. Yeah. Also, he didn't like, this is not
something he does all the time.And, like, he's not trying to,
like, make anyone look bad. He'sjust like, oh, this is just what
we do when we're apart, and,like, you can't be here during
an important time.

Erika (37:50):
Yes. Exactly. I think the parents are assholes for saying
that he should apologize. Forwhat? For loving your daughter
and being, you know, loving toher?

Edgar (37:58):
I think if anything, the

Erika (37:59):
Like, what the fuck?

Edgar (38:00):
Husband in law should be the ones apologizing for, like,
making the situation, like,uncomfortable.

Erika (38:06):
Yes. Sorry for him showing how asshole you are and
not caring about your wives.Mhmm. Sorry. Not sorry.

Edgar (38:15):
But also, I mean, the wives, like, for I guess, the
sister like, OP's wife's sistershouldn't feel, like, they need
to I don't know. I I don't knowwhy they would get angry in the
first place. Like, what kind ofconversation would are you
having?

Erika (38:30):
About competition, dude. The conversation. Oh, well,
because hello. They were therewith her. Mhmm.
So they saw that she got thatmuch roses and her husband
didn't one of them didn't givehim anything.

Edgar (38:41):
Yeah.

Erika (38:41):
And the other one got dead tulips.

Edgar (38:43):
Mhmm.

Erika (38:44):
What does that say about your husband? That they could
care less about plating anythingfor you on Valentine's Day.

Edgar (38:50):
Yeah. But, I mean, it's she also shows that, like, they
probably have different dynamicsin, like, the relationship.
Because, like, in OP'srelationship, they have, like
since he makes a lot more and hehas, like, more time to spend
That's

Erika (39:02):
not the point.

Edgar (39:03):
Relationship, he can, like, put do all these things.
And plus, like, some peopledon't like flowers as much as,
like, Opie's wife does.

Erika (39:09):
No. But that's not the point, babe. Mhmm. It's not
about making money about how howmuch you could give to your wife
or expensive gifts. It's aboutthoughtfulness.
He they could have given himgiving her a a card with a with
something cute written on it.Yeah. Something handmade.
Something that maybe they found,you know, in a in a date of the

(39:30):
when they first met. Somethingthoughtful.
It doesn't have to be expensive,but they did shit. They did
really shitty job of doing that.So that's what happened.

Edgar (39:39):
And they do have their own definitions of
thoughtfulness becauseValentine's Day is just a single
day of the year, and they have,like, other things they could do
to show it, like, thedopfulness. And otherwise, they
wouldn't be together in thefirst place. Like, the tulip,
even though it was dead, it'sstill, like, the dot that
counts.

Erika (39:54):
I would be pissed off because it's it's not just,
like, it's not about like I toldyou, it's not about what they
give you. It's about the toughone of how much thought they put
on the gift.

Edgar (40:04):
Yeah. I mean, the tulip is the tulip is a dot.

Erika (40:07):
A shitty thought because you go and grab them a dead
tulip. Like, come on. Youcouldn't find

Edgar (40:12):
them a store is that's what he had at the time.

Erika (40:15):
So that he went to one store and he couldn't find
tulips and he just got him adead one? He couldn't go to a
different one? Like, there'sit's just there's you could show
how much somebody puts effort inand what they give you.

Edgar (40:27):
Mhmm.

Erika (40:28):
So you're telling me that he couldn't he couldn't find,
like, the man, the guy here wentand said, oh, I ordered the the
roses and they were gonna belate. So he went and called
ahead to some other vendorswhere they are and had them
roses sent to her. Why? Becausehe thought, okay. She's not
gonna receive them, so I'm gonnado something else.

Edgar (40:47):
Mhmm.

Erika (40:48):
Why couldn't he do I mean, sure, everybody's
different, but it shows you howmuch effort he puts in in it, in
that whole situation, the wholethoughtfulness. That's the
point. It's not about, oh, it'sit's the effort that counts. No.
It means that that's how muchyou care.
Just to be like, okay. I went tothe store or whatever. They're
all dead, but I'm just gonnagive them to her anyways.

Edgar (41:07):
Mhmm. And that's better than nothing.

Erika (41:09):
No. Because then that's it's oh my god. You don't get
me. I wish Dave was here so shecould explain it because she
would get me. Like, it's justnot all about it's because you
just put some effort, but youdidn't put all the effort you
could give.
Do you get what I'm saying?Mhmm.

Edgar (41:27):
But they have they probably put effort in other
things.

Erika (41:31):
Well, we don't know that. We can't assume.

Edgar (41:33):
Mhmm. But we're instead assuming the bad, then they are
they're giving no effort at all.

Erika (41:39):
Well, the wife did one of the wives didn't get shit.

Edgar (41:41):
Mhmm.

Erika (41:42):
So now that there's no thoughtfulness in that. That's
literally not trying. There wasno thoughtfulness in their gift.
Like, I'm telling you right now.He

Edgar (41:51):
But also because they, of course, they show their their
own thoughtfulness in differentways and seeing 72 flowers. 72
flowers is a lot. So if you seethat like, basically, it's like,
grass is greener on the otherside kind of situation. Like
Yeah. If you were like, if wehave, like, our our little house
and stuff, like, you'd be happybecause, like, oh, this house
that we have is, like, it's oursand everything.

(42:13):
But if someone bought bought theland next to our house and then
built, like, a house 10 timesbigger, you're gonna look at it
and be like, our house is nolonger, like, good anymore. But
it just spoils what you have.It's by seeing what someone else
has and that you see that thereis extravagantly more. So you
compare not by what your owncapabilities are and, like, what
your own situation is, butyou're comparing by what is,

(42:35):
like, something else that, like,is separate and not controllable
by you.

Erika (42:40):
But that's you assuming that they cared about the roses,
and it's not necessarily that. Ithink that you're just focusing
really on the just of how muchmoney he spent, and that's not
the issue here. It's about thesupplement.

Edgar (42:53):
But still 72 flowers is a lot?

Erika (42:56):
Yes. But you that that's not okay. At least I'm speaking
personally, it's not about the72 flowers. It's about the
softness in the gift, and theirsoftness was shit. So that's why

Edgar (43:07):
why they diminished the tulips, though.

Erika (43:10):
He got him he got him dead tulips.

Edgar (43:14):
Now there is.

Erika (43:15):
It's crazy. I love how you're trying to defend assholes
here.

Edgar (43:19):
I'm just saying.

Erika (43:19):
No. No. No. No. No.

Edgar (43:20):
The brothers are assholes to be mad.

Erika (43:22):
You're making me mad.

Edgar (43:24):
But they are but the story is is a preference on the
fact that this is it's allrevolving around the amount of
flowers that this No.

Erika (43:30):
Situation gave. It is not. It doesn't necessarily has
to be that way. Like, I keepsaying, it's about the toughness
and the gift. Mhmm.
Even if they didn't get 72flowers, but they got a
thoughtful gift, they would befine. But one of them didn't get
anything and the other one gotdead tulips.

Edgar (43:49):
Mhmm.

Erika (43:50):
That's how much thoughtfulness went into those
gifts. That's what I'm giving.That's what my point is. It's
not about the money. It's notabout how much you spend.
It's not about anything. It'sabout the thoughtfulness of the
gift. Okay. So people were justlaughing hard at this.

Edgar (44:04):
I know. I think it's like they're like this story.

Erika (44:07):
It is. This is a hard not to asshole. Sorry your wife's
sisters have shitty husbands,not your fault. But yeah now
that this is an official redditlore we expect you to send no
less than 6,000 roses anytimeyou two are apart and you know
she put like a laughing emojibut yeah it's like I think it's

(44:28):
such a cute little relationshipthey have in that they care that
he cares enough to be thoughtfulto, you know, want her to have
something because he's not therefor her or he can't be there for
her. I think that's reallyimportant.
I think that's why they have agood relationship as from what,
you know, the post says.

Edgar (44:44):
Yeah.

Erika (44:45):
However, sometimes I think you get complacent in
relationships. And you thinkbecause you're married or
because you're with that personfor so long, you're not you
don't have to try anymore. Andyou let your girl yourself go in
your relationship go. And Ithink it's just important to
continue to, you know, tryingand not become roommates. I
think that's a big importantthing.

(45:07):
Where couples I feel like itjust becomes, you know, a
routine and it doesn't becomeknowing the person more or grown
with the person. Yeah. It justbecomes, oh, hey. You live with
me. That's it.

Edgar (45:21):
Mhmm. And then

Erika (45:21):
I think it's dangerous to try not to go into that loop
because getting out of that loopis kinda hard. And I think
everybody should continue datingeverybody. I mean, even no
matter how long you are withthat person, ten, fifteen years,
twenty years, it's important tocontinue dating that person
because then what are you gonnado? You're just gonna be living

(45:42):
with a roommate, and there'snowhere to that's not how you
should have a relationship or ahappy relationship at least.

Edgar (45:48):
I think you can be happy, like, just being, like, in a
standard, like, you don't haveto have, like, an exciting life
or, like, exciting No.

Erika (45:54):
I'm just saying to continue. No. I think you should
continue dating your yourpartner, though. Because if you
don't continue, like, learningnew new things with them or, you
know, this is like I said, itdoesn't have to cost money.

Edgar (46:07):
Mhmm.

Erika (46:07):
Like, I feel like a lot of people emphasize or expect
for money, at least shallowpeople may may think about
money, but I don't think it'snecessary. It could just be a
walk in the park. It could be alittle, like, hike here, or it
could just go walking andgetting a small coffee. It

(46:28):
doesn't have to be a five starrestaurant, a whole resort. It
could just be tiny things.
It that's that's a date. Youknow?

Edgar (46:36):
Yeah. But I don't yeah. So Ophi is definitely not, like,
not the asshole in thissituation. But, yeah, the
brother is, like, they're actingirrationally and, like, their
parents are especially, like,the

Erika (46:45):
parents Oh, yeah. Forget about the parents. The parents
are also assholes.

Edgar (46:48):
Yeah.

Erika (46:48):
What do you mean you need to apologize? I think that

Edgar (46:51):
the family should be apologizing to the upcoming,
like, the the new the futurebrother-in-law coming, which is
LP, like, for, like, being madat the situation in the first
place because there's, like,very little to be mad at.

Erika (47:05):
No. Yeah. He has there's no fault of somebody here

Edgar (47:08):
Not at all.

Erika (47:09):
At all. It was ridiculous. Yeah.

Edgar (47:11):
So that's, like, how fun of it I try. Yeah. Open at the
asshole.

Erika (47:14):
A %.

Edgar (47:15):
Oh, girlfriend and her sister is not the asshole, but
everyone else involved in thestory.

Erika (47:20):
The parents and the two husbands are assholes.

Edgar (47:22):
Mhmm. At least give your your your wife a single rose.

Erika (47:28):
I think

Edgar (47:28):
that could be your standard for for now, and you
you could make it up.

Erika (47:31):
Yeah. Or, like, a a card with something cute on it. I
mean, like I said, it doesn'thave to cost money.

Edgar (47:37):
Yeah. So next story, Am I the asshole for not getting my
wife anything for Valentine'sDay? I am in trouble with this
week, and I'm not sure that Ideserve to be. I, 35 female, did
not get anything from my wife,thirty six female, for
Valentine's Day this year. Hearme out.
I told her in August that sinceI was going to be unemployed and

(47:57):
going to law school full timethe next three years, that I
wouldn't be getting her oranyone else presents for the
next three years. I mentioned itto her multiple times, and she
was then kind of mad at me fornot getting her anything for
Christmas despite this. But shegot over it rather quickly.
Monday morning, I texted herhappy Valentine's Day. She

(48:18):
leaves for work before I get up,and I did not get her any
presents because I don't haveany money.
She got me a bag of jelly beansfor Valentine's Day. I didn't
need anything, but I thanked heranyway. She was very, very mad I
didn't get her a gift forValentine's Day. She said I
could have just gotten her asmall gift or even something

(48:38):
homemade. And I told her itdidn't even cross my mind as I
didn't have the money for gifts,but I would do that in the
future.
I then made her a homemade card,but she said that it doesn't
count because she had to ask.She also knows I do not like
Valentine's Day as it reminds meof when my school was shot up in
02/2008. That's crazy. And Ialso have had a cold all week

(49:00):
and haven't been feeling well.Still, she was mad at me on
Tuesday and reiterated the samepoints until now Thursday, and
she says she wants to forgiveme, but it still upsets her and
feels that me not getting hersomething means I don't care.
And I said, I don't feel like Ishould have to apologize. As I
told her, I wouldn't have themoney to get anyone gifts months

(49:22):
ago. You mighty asshole. Yes.What do you think?
I don't think she is. I thinkshe has, like, more important
things. No. She's is this she?

Erika (49:30):
That's a he.

Edgar (49:31):
Is this she?

Erika (49:32):
Is this she? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Edgar (49:36):
I don't know how I get yeah. I don't think she's an
asshole in this situation. Ithink, she has, like, much more
important things to focus on in,like, in her life right now.
Like, she has to, like, get herschooling and her work and all
of that, like, situated. Andthat's, like, more important
than, like, a a single day ofshowing, like, Valentine's.
You know? Like, she's gonnahave, like, more years and more

(49:56):
days afterwards to, to show herIf

Erika (49:59):
only you can see the look, I'm getting it right now.

Edgar (50:01):
I mean, that's just like what how I see it. I don't think
the the girlfriend of the OP isan asshole, though, for being
upset because, like, if Snatcherwould be upset.

Erika (50:10):
I would say, once again, it's not about expensive gifts.
It's not about huge gestures.It's just about thoughtfulness.
Mhmm. He could have given a cardon Valentine's Day, a homemade
card on Valentine's Day.
It would have been great. Itwould have been fine. She would

(50:30):
have said, thank you. Moved on.That's it.
But he did nothing. He literallygave her nothing.

Edgar (50:37):
Yeah. She didn't do anything. But, I mean, it seems
like next year, she'll at leastdo that despite, like, her
having other things to do.

Erika (50:45):
Yeah. But that's that's the thing. You know, you need to
make time. It's about beingthoughtful even though you don't
have time. Sure.
I mean, you're busy, then maketime once a little bit, like ten
minutes a day. Okay. I'm gonnado a little touch up in this
card, or I'm gonna do this,like, half an hour. And then do,
you know, spread it out ifyou're busy like that. It's just
it's just so many ways you hecould have done something for

(51:09):
her.
So many things, so much smallgestures, but he did nothing.

Edgar (51:13):
I think you underestimate, like, how much
time law school is. It's, like,basically all your time. So it's
I gotta understand the OP'spoint of view.

Erika (51:21):
I guess. But like I said, if somebody is important for
your life, then you make time.No matter how hectic, no matter
how busy, no matter how whateverit is, you make time. Why?
Because you care about thatperson.
So the top comment is you're theasshole. Thoughtfulness doesn't
have to cost them money.

Edgar (51:41):
I mean, I hope he knows that.

Erika (51:44):
Did he?

Edgar (51:45):
Yeah. Does he she says that in the story.

Erika (51:48):
Yeah. But he didn't give her anything until she asked for
something.

Edgar (51:53):
Mhmm.

Erika (51:53):
So it's like he didn't think of giving her anything. He
didn't wanna give her anything.He didn't think about her and
her happiness. So I just I Ijust think like it like I said a
million times before, it's notabout the expensive gifts. It's
not about anything.
It's about your thoughtfulness.And then he didn't even have to
make a go home. He could've justgive her like a little like you

(52:14):
said, a rose, a little note, asticky note, a little picture.
It takes five minutes, oneminute to do something. I love
you little sticky note.
That's it. Happy Valentine'sDay. But he did nothing. So it's
just one of those things whereyou're like, sure. He did warn
her about those three years thathe's gonna be busy.
He's not gonna buy anything.Okay. Mhmm. But he could have

(52:37):
given her five minutes of hertime. That's all I'm saying.

Edgar (52:40):
To fight over it?

Erika (52:42):
I would say he is the asshole. And then everybody
thought he was the asshole too.

Edgar (52:45):
Yeah. I think OP is not the asshole.

Erika (52:48):
Okay. So this is the final story. Am I the asshole
for sending my daughter-in-law aValentine's gift basket? I'm not
great with the Internet, but myhairdresser told me about this
sub, so please bear with me. I,60 female, always send to the
people I love Valentine's as inmy daughters, nieces, sisters,

(53:09):
friends, kids, non binarypartners.
It's a day about love, so whynot send and let somebody you
care about something nice andlet them know you're thinking
about them. My only son gotengaged and moved closer to home
last September to a girl calledAlice. At first, she seemed not
to like my three daughters andmyself for some reason even

(53:30):
though we haven't done anythingto her. And no. I've not been a
just no matter in law when myson moved near home.
We were all too busy with myhusband dying than his funeral
to do anything for to her. SinceJanuary, I've started to get out
of my depression for years wewere married. Me and my
daughter-in-law started having arelationship. She told me she

(53:52):
didn't like us because we werebasic and didn't know what that
meant. So I just tried to havean interest in what she liked.
That's so messed up.

Edgar (54:01):
I know. Yeah.

Erika (54:02):
She's a bitch. Recently, I sent out my Valentine's self
care packages, which I carefullypack to each person. Likes, I go
as far as to send my genderfluid niece to both male and
female baskets and my oldestdaughter's partner, nothing
generated, I mean, nothinggendered as they are both non
binary than some of my friends'anti Valentine's Day themed

(54:26):
gifts. I've not had a bad reviewyet. That was until I sent my
daughter in laws out.
And within the day, I had my sonscreaming down the phone calling
me a weirdo and howinappropriate it was for being
that made my daughter-in-lawuncomfortable to the point she
doesn't want to be around me.

Edgar (54:44):
What?

Erika (54:45):
Exactly. What? I tried to explain he knows I do this with
everyone including him and hissisters, but he said I should
have asked than being a completeweirdo. Am I the asshole?

Edgar (54:57):
What was even in the basket?

Erika (54:59):
So she didn't make a edit. And she said different
kind of mask, face, foot, eye,hair, hands, and lips,
chocolates, her favorite,alcohol, rainbow colored fake
roses, bath bombs, key ring withher initials, a card, a pen with
her name on it.

Edgar (55:19):
Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. So, like, she's just being awful
for everyone that, like, shedoes in her life. Not
necessarily

Erika (55:25):
she loves or, you know.

Edgar (55:26):
I feel like she doesn't necessarily care for this this
relative, but, like, she does itbecause this is, like, her
tradition. Daughter-in-law.Yeah. This is her tradition.
This is how she shows that she,like, her care and her her
nurturingness, like, inValentine's Day.

Erika (55:40):
She just got over her the death of her well, she's she
just I don't think she got overit, but she finally stopped
being depressed of for herhusband's death.

Edgar (55:48):
Yeah. And she

Erika (55:48):
wanted to be some do something nice for her
daughter-in-law. And then shegoes and says she's basic.

Edgar (55:54):
Yeah. You're basic and you're weird. You're weird.

Erika (55:57):
Yes. Like, what? This is so ridiculous. Why is it her son
with that this woman? And Iwould like to add that I wanna
apologize to the growling.
It's Selena and Lila alwayscausing trouble.

Edgar (56:10):
It's all clear than fighting each other.

Erika (56:11):
Well, yeah. Well, they're play fighting. But yes.

Edgar (56:16):
Not Celine.

Erika (56:19):
Mind you, Celine is tiny compared to Celine, to Bella and
Lila.

Edgar (56:23):
Mhmm.

Erika (56:23):
But she still tries to, you know, show her toughness.

Edgar (56:27):
Her dominance.

Erika (56:28):
So the top comment says not the asshole, not even close.
With the comment she made abouther not liking you because in
her opinion basic, she indicatesshe has problems. Don't allow
her to project her issues onyou. You be you. If your
daughter-in-law doesn't likebasic people then she could go a
pound of sand and I feel badbecause the the poor

(56:52):
mother-in-law doesn't even knowwhat basic means and then the
comment after that says is basicbad?
Like I feel so bad and thenpeople said in No. It's a term
used for women who like popularthings. The woman who likes
Starbucks, getting her nailsdone, watching reality TV could
be called basic. I could bebasic because I like cold brew

(57:16):
coffee floating in the pool andwatching serial killer
documents. Honestly, it's anidiotic term that some women use
to disparage other women who arejust living their lives and
enjoying the things theyactually like.
I I don't get it. Like, how canshe be so rude? Like

Edgar (57:31):
I think we how old, again, was the daughter-in-law?

Erika (57:37):
It doesn't really tell you.

Edgar (57:39):
She's gotta be pretty young to, like, to be immature.

Erika (57:44):
I mean, not always. Some people just never mature.

Edgar (57:47):
But issue.

Erika (57:49):
The she's 60. And obviously, I think at 60, a lot
of people don't know what basicis, which is understandable.
But, yeah, the daughter-in-lawis the asshole and the son is
the asshole for saying that hermom is a weirdo.

Edgar (58:03):
I know. Yeah.

Erika (58:04):
That's that's so disrespectful. Like, just
because you're soon to be wifeor whatever or she is your wife,
whatever. You should not becalling your mom that,
especially with what she giftedher. There was nothing wrong
Mhmm. With masks, for the face,for eye, hair, hand lips,
chocolates, and her favoritealcohol.
I

Edgar (58:22):
I know. That's pretty nice. I would be happy. I forgot
that.

Erika (58:24):
That's really sweet and thoughtful of her. How is she
afraid to be next to her orshe's creeped out by her? Like,
it makes no sense.

Edgar (58:32):
She's ridiculous.

Erika (58:32):
It's

Edgar (58:33):
actually just an excuse just to not be with her.

Erika (58:35):
Maybe. I don't know. I just find that ridiculous, and
she's the biggest asshole ever,especially after the poor woman
stopped being depressed andwanted to do something nice to
the people she, you know, atleast wants to get to know or
loves.

Edgar (58:49):
Yeah. Yeah. So final verdict, OP, not the asshole.

Erika (58:53):
100%.

Edgar (58:54):
Yeah. But this chick, yes.

Erika (58:56):
Of what? Yeah. She's really big asshole. Mhmm. Okay.
So that's all the stories wehave today. Thank you for tuning
in this week. Check out ourwebsite wwwyappings.com and join
our mail list for updates. Ifyou love our podcast and want to
support us, subscribe and shareto your friends and family. We
will love it and appreciate itso much.

(59:19):
Thank you. Bye.

All Episodes

Episode 14: Love Stinks - The Worst Valentine’s Day Reddit Stories

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 14: Love Stinks - The Worst Valentine’s Day Reddit Stories