March 3, 2025 • 43 mins
This week on The Yapping Schnauzers, we read some of Reddit’s wildest AITA confessions, where the only thing messier than these stories is the family drama behind them:
🛁 A boyfriend asks his GF to shower—because, well… reasons.
🐕 A woman wants to bring her dead dog’s ashes on vacation. Is that sentimental or just weird?
👶 A toddler takes on a grandma in a battle of credibility, and the parents are picking sides.
We’re breaking down these confessions with our usual dose of sarcasm, side-eye, and (somewhat) thoughtful debate. Tune in and let us know: who’s the real a**hole this week?
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- AITA for asking my GF if she can take a shower?
- AITA for admitting to my son that I love his mother more than him and telling him he's acting self centered?
- AITA for telling my sister and BIL it's their fault their son doesn't speak to them?
- AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend bring her dead dog’s ashes on vacation?
- AITA for believing my 2.5 yo over my MIL?
- AITA for refusing to cover for my coworker after finding out why she needed time off?
~
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with Yap worthy stories we findaround the web. Today's theme is
top stories this week. So thefirst story is Emma the asshole
for asking my girlfriend if shecan take a shower. My girlfriend
really only showers once a week,twice if I'm lucky.
Right. Typically, we go to thegym together, and I've often
(00:28):
asked her why she doesn'tshower. And she always comes
with things like, oh, womendon't really sweat much. And I
sweat very little even forwomen's standards, And I don't
buy it because I can smell. Iused to just suck it up because
she's extremely sensitive.
Kinda not safe for work here,but this even affected our
(00:48):
private life, and I've lostinterest. Fast forward a bit.
She now starts using a sauna atthe gym, maybe an average two
times a week. She still refusesto shower. I've said there's
just no way you don't sweat inthe sauna.
Just me sitting five minutes inthere gets me soaked. She says
she doesn't sweat much either,and she sits there for twenty
(01:12):
minutes.
Edgar (01:13):
She's just marinating.
Erika (01:15):
Ugh. So gross. Things are now worse. I can smell her very
badly, almost to the point whereI try not to breathe in too
close to her because it's notgood. I tried so long to give
hints to get her to shower.
I'm like, hey. Do you wanna takea shower together? But she can't
(01:35):
take the hint and says, whywould we do that? There's only
room for one under the wateranyway. One evening, she wanted
to lie down on the floor andstare at the world map she has.
She invited me to lie down nextto her and just talk about where
we want to go, etcetera. Ilasted for about one minute
before I had to make up somedumb excuse as to why I had to
(01:58):
get up. She then gets upset andsays along the lines, why are
you leaving? You never do stuffwith me. The truth is I just
can't be too close to her for solong.
I'm not even sure if I startedto resent her because it was
only this one thing that wasbugging me in the relationship,
but maybe I did, and that's myfault for being bad at
(02:21):
communicating to her. Anyway, Icouldn't hold it in any longer.
I tried one last time to ask herif she wanted to take a shower
with me to show I didn't want todo stuff with her, but she
declined. Then I said, I knowyou say you don't sweat, but I
can smell. I don't like thesmell of sweat, etcetera.
And being a popular gym we goto, I would just appreciate if
(02:43):
you showered a bit more. Shefreaked out. Yeah. Accused me of
things she asked, and asked if Ifound her disgusting, etcetera.
I almost felt like she wanted meto think she's disgusting for
some messed up reason.
Like, this was an easy way tocreate distance between us and
all that. And I'm not sure.Maybe I'm overthinking it. It's
just to me, it feels awful andobvious to shower, if not daily,
(03:08):
at least every other day. Shesaid she doesn't want to shower
her hair often, but still, youcan shower your body.
Our relationship is borderlineover because I hurt her. So Emma
the asshole, what could I havedone differently? Yeah.
Edgar (03:22):
I mean, that's, like, pretty gross. Like, she's just I
can just imagine this hopingthat awful Hope he couldn't even
manage one minute next to herbefore she's, like, gagging and,
like, leaving.
Erika (03:33):
That's gross. Like, I mean, I'm sorry. You go to the
sauna and you don't showerafter. Like, that's insane to me
because when you go in there,you're like, your whole body is
sweating. I mean, everywhere issweating.
So you're gonna come and tell meyou don't shower after that is
disgusting. And then it's likedead skin cells too, like,
because you could, like, peeloff and, you know, you need to
(03:55):
shower because you have deadskin cells on your body, and you
rub it off, and you wash andexfoliate your body as well.
Like, I don't know. Like, Ithink he's better off.
Edgar (04:06):
Yeah. Because it's, like, it's very unhygienic, and I can
just imagine, like, it's aterrible, like, smell. And I
don't know, like, why she's,like, not showering at all.
Yeah. Like, at all.
I imagine it's just, like, athing that she grew up with.
Like, oh, I don't need to showerthat much. And I think the
excuse that, like, oh, I justdon't shower or I don't I just
don't smell or I don't reallysweat. That's just, like, kind
of, like, the same excuse, like,same, like, dumb excuse, like,
(04:28):
some guys have. Well, like, thethe dumb joke that some guys
have about girls.
Like, oh, it's just, like, theyjust fart unicorns and, like,
rainbows.
Erika (04:35):
What do
Edgar (04:35):
you mean? Poop? This reminds me of but, like, she
actually lives by that.
Erika (04:41):
Yeah. But, like, for example, you don't sweat a lot
at all. Yeah. Like, you can doso much, like, workouts, run,
and stuff, and and I see, like,one drop of sweat.
Edgar (04:49):
Mhmm.
Erika (04:49):
I'm like, that's insane to me. And, like, I literally I
sweat easily. I'm the oppositeof you, but, obviously, I take
care of my hygiene. Like, I turnpurple like a tomato, not purple
red red as a tomato.
Edgar (05:01):
We see, like, workouts. Yeah.
Erika (05:02):
Yeah. So I'm like
Edgar (05:05):
But even, like, with me, like, when I'm not sweating that
much, I still, like, have theneed to, like, shower after a
workout.
Erika (05:10):
Gross. Because even though you're in sweat, you can
still smell.
Edgar (05:12):
And I know it's, like, it's gonna fester if I leave it
there for too long.
Erika (05:16):
Yeah. It's
Edgar (05:16):
not it's not good for your skin to have, like, sweat
on you all day.
Erika (05:19):
No. And then even for your, like I know a lot of
people don't wash their hairevery day, which is fine. Mhmm.
But I mean come on if you sweatand you work out and you go to
sauna and you're not washing itlike often because you're
literally sweating your glandsare open and you don't it's just
bad for your scalp health aswell I mean, I don't think how
(05:40):
that's gonna be good for you atall. So there is a small update,
and it says we broke up.
She already
Edgar (05:50):
For real.
Erika (05:51):
For real. I understand. No. I'm glad he did they did,
honestly. Because they just Imean, she should find somebody
that doesn't shower as oftenjust like her.
And maybe she can realize that,you know, it stinks. So she
refused to accept she wasdisgusting by not showering and
did not see anything wrong.Impossible for me to change her
mind when she is dead set on nowrongdoing. No point for me to
(06:17):
argue with someone like that.Seemed like there was a lot
unresolved trauma in her past.
I was aware of it. But not tothe severity of it and how it
still affected her. One of herfirst sentence come up when I
confronted her again about itwas break up with me then. Like,
she was challenging me orsomething. It really made me
feel weird.
(06:37):
Instead of instead of us comingto an agreement together, she
went very defenseless and justattacked me. She struggled with
having girlfriends as she wasscared of them stealing her
current boyfriend or something.So she always went to hang out
with guys. She loved gettingvalidation from guys as well,
and she ended up having a lot offriends with benefits over the
years, he said. There's a lot ofstuff I did not know, but that's
(07:00):
just not my thing.
For some reason, I something forsome reason, I I almost feel
used used in a way because Ifeel like to her, I was just
another friends with benefits,but she was someone I actually
saw future with. Ultimately,what's made ultimately, what
(07:22):
made us break up though was thefact that she sees herself as
over men or me in that case. Shebelieves women are holy. Her
words, not mine. Oh my god.
She was the taker in therelationship, and I was the
giver. It worked for some time,but I started resenting her, and
I did not want to be as much asa giver for her anymore. I
(07:43):
started to not to notice she didnot appreciate my effort, and
she did not reciprocate much atall. Hopefully, she will find a
guy who will put her on thehighest pedestal out there, but
that guy is not me. All power toher.
Edgar (07:56):
Yo. So she's, like, a slower, and she she doesn't sit
in the shower.
Erika (08:01):
That's gross. Come on. I think in and even if you have,
like, some hookups in there, Imean, if I guess if a guy is
desperate enough
Edgar (08:09):
Mhmm.
Erika (08:10):
You know? Ugh. No. I just
Edgar (08:13):
ugh. Imagine she's like, I I still feel clean, so I'm not
gonna shower.
Erika (08:16):
No. That's so wrong.
Edgar (08:19):
No. And this is what happens when you don't have
education on hygiene in the inthe school.
Erika (08:24):
I mean, he did mention there was some trauma. I don't
understand what type of trauma,So I can't judge her too.
Edgar (08:29):
What trauma can you have with the shower?
Erika (08:30):
No. I don't know. Maybe she was, like, when she was
little, there was some traumawith that. I don't know.
Regardless, she has some trauma.
Maybe she just needs some mentalhealth. She needs to talk to a
psychologist as to why shethinks it's okay to not have
good hygiene.
Edgar (08:45):
Yeah.
Erika (08:46):
So the top comment is, it's not just about sweat. No
wonder you don't want to be nearher. I shower every other day,
and I feel dirty if I don't. Ihave dry skin. Otherwise, I
shower daily, but my skin hurtsif it gets too dry.
She should be showering at leastthat often and absolutely after
each visit to the gym and sauna.That's gross.
Edgar (09:06):
Agreed.
Erika (09:07):
Yeah. And certain parts of your body obviously need, you
know, to be kept every day.
Edgar (09:12):
Can't work for you.
Erika (09:13):
Yeah. You can't just be like, oh, yeah. Just twice a
week, and it's fine. It's gonnasmell, especially if you work
out. That's disgusting.
I think he did the right thingby breaking up with her.
Edgar (09:24):
Yeah. He saved he saved his his nose.
Erika (09:27):
Not only that, you know, because it could cause an
affection too, like, certainthings. So
Edgar (09:32):
the affection's more on her end than him. But, yeah,
Erika (09:34):
I mean, he Yeah. I mean, I'm just glad.
Edgar (09:38):
Yeah. OP's in a better place right now. A better
smelling place. So final verdicton us.
Erika (09:44):
He is not the asshole.
Edgar (09:45):
Yeah. Definitely not. And, yeah, I think OP's ex is an
asshole, though.
Erika (09:49):
Yeah. I think he really tried. Yeah. He tried to tell
her, you know, maybe we shouldshower together or maybe we
should you know? Yeah.
He tried really hard.
Edgar (09:58):
The next story is titled, am I the asshole, permitting to
my son that I love his mothermore than him and telling him
he's acting self centered. Myson moved out right after
graduating college last year.Since then, he's been very
preoccupied with his own life.My wife and I couldn't be much
prouder of him, but we do wishhe'd made a little bit more
(10:19):
effort to keep in touch,especially since he only lived
thirty minutes away. Months gogo by without hearing much from
him, and we were always the onesto reach out first.
We never complained about it tohim until my wife's birthday.
Her birthday was two days ago,and we didn't get a call or a
surprise visit. She was a littleupset, but chose not to confront
(10:40):
him. I decided to call him aboutit, Not out of anger, just as a
reminder. I said, hey, buddy.
You missed your mother'sbirthday. He immediately
apologized and asked me to wishher a happy birthday on his
behalf. I told him it would benice if he could visit us soon
because we miss him. Apparently,that set him off. He told me
(11:02):
that he has his own life to liveand that we have ours.
I told him I understood. Butwe're still his parents, and we
wanna stay close. That's when hebluntly said he doesn't want a
close relationship with us andthat he's frustrated we won't
leave him alone. I asked himwhy, and I don't know where he
brought up something from whenhe was 10 years old. He said he
(11:26):
overheard my wife and me sayingthat we love each other more
than we love him.
I was completely confusedbecause I don't recall ever
saying anything like that. WhenI asked for more context, he
said we had been talking aboutour own parents' marriages. And
at some point, I said somethingalong the lines of, even though
I love him a lot, I love hismother the most. My wife
(11:48):
apparently agreed with me, andthe conversation has tainted his
view of our relationship eversince. I told him there was
nothing wrong with that and thathe was acting like a self
centered brat who thinks theworld revolves around him.
He told me to go to hell. When Itold my wife about what
happened, she said I was wrongfor calling him that even though
(12:10):
I believed it was true. So am Ithe asshole?
Erika (12:16):
I don't I feel like he is. OP? Yeah. I mean, for the
not all like, not completely. Ifeel like he shouldn't have
treated him that way.
I think there was a differentway he could have responded.
He's his son is telling him howhe made him feel and how, you
know, that part of his childhoodmade him feel like he wasn't
(12:40):
wanted or he wasn't loved. So heshould have reacted a different
way because his son was tellinghim how he was feeling. Yeah. I
think he just disregarded hisfeelings and said that he was
being a self centered brat waskinda not what he needed to
hear.
Yeah. I honestly think he couldhave reacted a better way. What
(13:03):
do you think?
Edgar (13:05):
I don't think OP is the asshole in this situation for,
like, how the son reacted whenhe was, like, younger. Because I
feel like that's kinda, like, anonsensical, like, arguments. I
feel like that's, like, anexcuse for just not seeing him.
Growing up, our parentsprobably, like, could've said
things better or they did thingsthat they probably regret. And
(13:26):
you and I, we we don't followour parents for that.
We don't, like, say, oh, becauseof this one thing you did when I
was a a preteen, I mean, I weregonna talk to you again, or I
don't want a relationship withyou. Like, that's just, like,
dumb. You know? It's, like, veryimmature. So that that's why I
agree with you with all Beyond.
Erika (13:42):
Yeah. But I just don't think for a child to come to
that conclusion, I don't believeit was just one thing. Maybe it
was her other situations orother words that were said
during his childhood that madehim react that way. So I don't
really think it's just that onething that made him feel that
(14:03):
type of way. Because I mean, asa child, you you have situations
with your mom or situations withyour parents, where you're like,
okay, you know, they made methis way and whatever.
It was just a one thing or itwas just, you know, they were
just out of anger. But if it'ssomething constant and you feel
a certain way, then I feel likeit taints your childhood.
Edgar (14:24):
Mhmm.
Erika (14:25):
So the top comment is you're the asshole. First of
all, he is as you raise them.Secondly, kids don't just wanna
decide to let go of arelationship with their parents
because they heard somethinglike that. In a home with
engaged, available parents, kidsflip out and tell their parents
they overheard somethingupsetting and or they demand to
(14:47):
know why they would say such athing. They just don't keep it a
secret for twenty years.
Something else is going on. Itmay be that you meant that you
love your wife and understoodthat she would be your partner
even when your kids grew up andmoved on. But clearly, you did
make your child feel neglected.If you want a relationship
calling, your son a selfcentered asshole isn't a great
(15:10):
way to begin. Did it even occurto you to ask how he felt or try
to clarify what you meant orexpress any sadness about the
fact that he did not, in fact,feel loved?
Do you think to tell him youwould like to have a better
relationship, or do you evenwant that? It wasn't just one
thing. Other stuff happened thatyou're not aware of or are
(15:33):
actively ignoring.
Edgar (15:34):
It would be a patterning as well. But
Erika (15:36):
Yeah. So I
Edgar (15:37):
do believe within the context of the story, I feel
like OP's son might be coveringfor something else. Like, it's
just, like, not the whole storyor just like, that one thing is,
like, an excuse.
Erika (15:50):
Yeah. Because Because as a parent, maybe he doesn't
realize he did anything wrong ormaybe some of the situations
where his son felt, you know,neglected or didn't feel loved,
and he's been not aware of itbecause he didn't think he did
anything wrong.
Edgar (16:02):
Yeah.
Erika (16:03):
So I I honestly think the way he reacted completely didn't
care what he said and didn't sayhow come or try to get to the
bottom of the situation or whyhe felt that way. So, I mean, if
that little snippet ofconversation with his son tells
you how he is Yeah. Then imaginehow his relationship is.
Edgar (16:27):
That yeah. Focusing on, like, that that one with a one
conversation from their story.Yeah. It's, like, not a way for,
like, a parent to, like, talk totheir kids. Like, it it's, like,
more of a something you, like,talk to your kids when, like,
you're really annoyed at them.
And, like, the kid is, like,four years old or three years
old. But if they're stilltalking like this as adults, it
(16:47):
seems like it was far somethingconsistent that they had, or
maybe that's just how he seeshim, like, his own son. Yeah.
Erika (16:55):
Like a child.
Edgar (16:55):
Yeah. So I think probably the child doesn't like or I hope
his son doesn't like beingtreated that way.
Erika (17:01):
Yeah. I honestly think that he needs to just have a
conversation with him and listento what he's saying, not just
automatically make a decision onwhat he needs to say and what he
thinks and just disregard whathe's feeling or what he's
saying. Mhmm. Because there'scontext behind it, and there's
feelings behind it. And he'sjust completely blindsided with
(17:25):
that.
You know?
Edgar (17:26):
Mhmm. And if if he if he really wanted, like, a
relationship with his son, hewould have gone about the
conversation differently, like,more empathetically.
Erika (17:36):
Yeah. And this is just one thing he's telling you
about. As like we mentioned, itcould probably be other things
that he has gone through. So,yeah, I think they both need to
have a conversation with him andsit down and tell him that he's
important in this relationship.I understand that having a good
relationship with yoursignificant other wife, husband,
whatever is important whenhaving kids.
But to make a child feel likehe's not loved or he's not as
(17:58):
important as your wife, it'sit's an issue.
Edgar (18:00):
Fun of verdict?
Erika (18:01):
I still think he's an asshole for his reaction.
Edgar (18:04):
I think also, yeah, the OP. That I think about more OP
is, like, the asshole as well.But the sun is also an asshole
because she's also, like, notgoing about it a good way as
well.
Erika (18:14):
But he's
Edgar (18:14):
But it's, like, more of yes. He's a child, but he's like
a adult now. But OP, it's likeit's on more on OP's end to,
like, fix the relationships.That's what he wants from it,
like, for them to be closeagain. So he has to fight in the
effort.
Erika (18:26):
I mean, he's still newly adult. As as a father, he should
know better. And he was alsovoted the asshole.
Edgar (18:33):
The next story is titled, am I the asshole for telling my
sister and brother-in-law it'stheir fault the son doesn't
speak to them? Throw away forprivacy. I, 53, female, have a
sister, 55, female. I call herCaroline. She has been married
for thirty years to her husbandRichard, fifty eight male.
(18:54):
When they married in the 90s,they planned to have children.
However, nature had other plansfor them, and my brother-in-law
couldn't have children. Thedoctor confirmed the
impossibility, and thisdevastated them. After weighing
their options, they chose to gothrough infertility treatments
with donor sores. I also mustnote that my sister is a
controlling person, and mybrother-in-law thinks he knows
(19:17):
everything.
Fast forward a few years, and mysister and brother-in-law had
two sons through this process,both of whom have different
donors. And as science grownwith DNA, I advised my sister to
tell the children when they wereyoung of how they came to be and
just be honest with them. I wasmet with harsh backlash, telling
(19:37):
me to mind my own business andthat under no circumstances are
her sons to find out. I wouldcontinually bring it up on
occasion until one nasty fightwhere my brother-in-law told me
I was an uneducated idiot whoknew nothing about the subject.
Then I gave up and never spoketo them about it again.
Last year, Caroline's oldest sondecided to take a twenty three
(19:59):
year immunity test anddiscovered that my
brother-in-law is not hisbiological father. This caused a
massive uproar in my sister'sfamily. My nephew told them he
always knew something was wrongand wanted to find the truth.
After months of back and forthfighting about my sister and
brother in law's betrayal oftrust, per my nephew, he has now
cut contact with his parents. Iconnected with him through
(20:21):
social media and will not doanything to risk losing this
contact.
Last week, my sister called mesobbing because the birthday
present she sent to her son wasreturned with a note that said,
do not contact me again, from mynephew. After listening to her
for thirty minutes, I got tired.I tried to hang up, but she
lashed out and asked why Iwasn't supporting her. I told
(20:43):
her the truth, that she ignoredmy thoughts for years. I told
her I warned her that sciencewas catching up with her lies,
as she should have told the kidswhen they were young so they
could process it better.
She called me heartless and amonster for not giving her help
and trying to persuade my nephewto speak with her. I told her
that I would not do that toeither her or her
(21:04):
brother-in-law, and thissituation is their fault and
that they need to figure out howto live with the consequences or
find a way to fix therelationship with their son. It
was then my brother-in-law goton the phone and called me a
bitch and hung up on me.
Erika (21:19):
He
Edgar (21:19):
just came out you just came out of nowhere. Just say
that. The brother-in-law point.My mother and father got
involved and told me that a goodsister wouldn't want this type
of family tension to continue,that I needed to step up and
help my sister and her son speakto each other. I refuse because
I won't risk my one connection Istill have with my nephew.
(21:41):
So am I the asshole for nothelping my sister and fixing
relationship with my nephew andtelling them that it's their
fault? So, yeah, for, I don'tthink he's the asshole. And I
think he's wise to, like, notpress on the nephew on this
because he's probably, likeeveryone in that in that family
is probably, like, on Finn Nice
Erika (21:59):
Yeah.
Edgar (21:59):
For, for the nephew.
Erika (22:01):
They need some type of family on their side right now.
I think if she was to be like,yeah, you should talk to your
mom, they would just be leftwithout anybody to talk to. I
just I think the sisters shouldhave listened to her and took
the advice
Edgar (22:17):
Mhmm.
Erika (22:18):
Because I think it's important to tell your kids, you
know, we are your parents andbut, you know, they're not
biologically but biologically,you know, you're the same DNA.
Edgar (22:30):
Mhmm.
Erika (22:31):
Because it's not a parent just for the DNA. It's a parent
who takes care of you whenyou're sick and, you know,
nurtures you. So yeah.
Edgar (22:41):
Yeah. She was worried warned about this for, like,
well over a few decades at thispoint. So for her to, like, now
want sympathy and have hersister who were, like,
disrespected, like, all theseyears. Like, oh, now can you
help me? Because I I didn'tlisten to your advice.
Like, I I would be frustrated.It was okay.
Erika (23:01):
Yeah. And then for the brother-in-law to call her a a
bitch. Like, really?
Edgar (23:09):
I know. The brother-in-law is not helping in
this situation at all.
Erika (23:11):
No. Even the parents. Like, you are not helping the
situation here. I think, sure,everybody has a say, and you
don't have to listen to how you,you know, teach your child or
have a conversation with them orwhat you share with them. But,
you know, now the situation hasbasically hit the fan.
Edgar (23:32):
And
Erika (23:32):
so I think, honestly, she just needs to give the child
some time. I think right now,they the person is hurt. The
child is hurt and feels like theidentity is completely, like,
all over the place, feelsconfused and frustrated, like,
he's been lied to. I think ifshe just gets him some time to
(23:58):
think and let him to reflect andjust let him, you know, feel
Edgar (24:03):
Yeah.
Erika (24:03):
Then eventually, he will, you know, come around. Because I
don't I mean, I don't thinkthey're abusive or anything like
that. Just, you know, he justfeels light to all his life.
Edgar (24:14):
Yeah. The nephew definitely needs some time, and
they should just respect it atthe moment. And this the OP
shouldn't do, like, anything to,like, try to impress the nephew
because I feel like from theirtheir only very delicate social
media connection, that's, like,I don't know if you're saying I
trust you for now, but if you doanything else, I'll sue you as
(24:35):
well.
Erika (24:36):
Yeah. Mhmm. So the top comment is not that asshole.
Edgar (24:45):
This is our dog, Selena, is currently licking, Erica's
mouth as she's speaking. Yes.Tonguing her.
Erika (24:56):
Yeah. Yeah. She does that a lot. We have they're always
with us. And, once we do videos,you'll be able to see them and
their cute little clothes theyhave on.
So the top comment is not theasshole. They insisted on not
listening to you, punished youenough that you shut up, and now
(25:20):
they want you to nuke yourrelationship with your nephew in
attempt to fix the issue. Plusthat seems unlikely to work. You
value your relationship withyour nephew and don't wanna risk
it. Actions have consequences,and you are thinking ahead
again.
Edgar (25:36):
Nicely wrapped up.
Erika (25:37):
Exactly.
Edgar (25:38):
Like, this is like, even if OP goes ahead and caves talks
to your nephew Yeah. To try tofix a relationship, like, I
think this is, like, unlikelyto, like, work. It's gonna be it
caused me more issues. Nowthere's, like, no one they can,
like, contact that can talk toyour nephew. Yeah.
And they would still be mad atOP. They They were like, you
messed that up. Yeah. Like, youI I can see that happening.
Erika (26:00):
Yeah. There's no winning in this case. I think she's
doing good with, just stayingout of it and supporting his
nephew. And if what if thegrandparents talks to him if
they want to? Why is it up toher?
And why are they blaming hersaying, oh, you should talk to
them? It's always you know, Ijust don't understand parents
sometimes. I know they alwayswant to keep the peace, but
(26:25):
sometimes it's just making itworse, honestly.
Edgar (26:28):
Still final verdict?
Erika (26:30):
Not the asshole at all.
Edgar (26:32):
Yeah. Agreed.
Erika (26:34):
Okay. So the next story is, am I the asshole for
refusing to let my girlfriendbring her dog dead ashes, on
vacation? My girlfriend, 29female, and I, 28 male, have
been together for four months.She had a dog that died a few
months ago before we met. I haveonly ever spent the night at her
place.
I live with my sister and hertwo kids, so it's a little
(26:56):
chaotic at my place. Girlfriendhas a small two, three inch tall
urine on her bedside table withthe dog's ashes. Before she
turns off the lamp, she goes tosleep. She always gives it a
little tap on the on the top andsays goodnight as though she is
talking to the dog. I think it'sweird, but I have never said
anything.
(27:16):
We were supposed to go away forthe weekend on Friday. I was
watching her pack and noticedshe took the urine and put it at
the top pocket of her backpack.I asked what she was doing. She
said she didn't want to leavethe dog behind. I told her she
was not allowed to bring theurine as it be made me very
uncomfortable.
I didn't wanna see it anytime wereturned to our hotel. I didn't
(27:40):
want her talking to her dead dogafter we had sex before we go to
sleep. It's weird. And, frankly,she's been mourning this dog for
too long. She didn't argue.
She simply started to unpack herbag. She told me to have fun on
the weekend, get away as shewould not be coming. I asked if
she was seriously choosing adog's ashes over me. She said
(28:01):
she was choosing herself over meas I could have spoken to her
with kindness and empathy, butdidn't. She also said that I
didn't get to dictate how longshe's allowed to grieve, then
she asked me to leave.
She hasn't replied to my text.Thinks, she's I think she's
overreacting. My sister says shecan see both our sides. Am I the
(28:22):
asshole for thinking mygirlfriend is weird for being
attached to her dead dog'sashes?
Edgar (28:28):
Yeah. I think yeah. For me, I'd say OP is not the
asshole in this case.
Erika (28:33):
Right? Like, how dare you? Like, it's usually dogs.
Sometimes they have a you know,when they're kids, and they grow
up with dog. Mhmm.
So it's it's years, ten tofifteen years you have a dog
sometimes. And for you forsomebody to say, oh, you know,
you're just need to get over it.
Edgar (28:50):
Yeah. Because, like, yeah, all pets are, like, a a
family member. And to have themhave to wear is, like, very,
like, traumatizing and, like,you need time to mourn. I do
think the OP's ex is a littlebit weird on how she's, like,
mourning. Like, and I think it'sfine to tap it tap the urine at
the end of the day becausethat's just, like, her routine.
(29:11):
Like, eventually, it should besomething that she just does
every day. But I think it was alittle weird to bring it, like,
on vacation. Because for me, mymy concern would be that they
would lose the urn, like, enroute.
Erika (29:23):
Yarn. Yeah. Yeah. Or if they're going on a plane,
usually, you need some type ofdocumentation or something like
that. You can just bring dustand stuff like that without any
Edgar (29:35):
Mhmm. Yeah. I think it would be difficult. Like, it is
just like an extra hassle for avacation. I think the safest
place for, like, a year and anythose kind of morrows would be
just, like, at your home.
Erika (29:46):
Yeah. I think you're right. I think it's just one of
those things where there I don'tthink there's a limit to
morning, but I think it would besafer to leave the ashes at
home. Yeah. So there are littlesmall updates that says the
hotel was not refundable.
They're only three hour drive,so I went to the trip without
her.
Edgar (30:05):
Cool.
Erika (30:05):
She started seeing a psychologist around the same
time we started dating. Shehasn't told me any specifics,
because she said the trauma ofslowly losing her dog brought to
the surface another trauma inher past. This is why I think
she has been mourning for toolong. She is still attached to
the dog even after seeing aprofessional on a regular basis
for several months. And thenthere was one more update that
(30:30):
says, I get it.
I'm an asshole. I texted mygirlfriend to say I'm sorry for
how I spoke to her and fordismissing her feelings. It was
wrong. I also said I would liketo apologize in person and
offered to bring her favoritetakeout. She said, oh, good.
Don't worry about it. I boughtan in person apology. I gathered
the things you've left at myhouse. Let me know when you like
(30:52):
to come and pick them up. I'mhoping she would still hear me
out when I go to her place.
Yeah. I think she's done. Yeah.Yeah.
Edgar (31:01):
Because Sophie's, like, behavior is also, like, not
acceptable. If anyone's, like,mourning or sad, you just don't
tell them to get over there.Like, that's asking for the
worst case reaction from anotherperson.
Erika (31:13):
Yeah. I think it's not just him being empathetic not
being empathetic. It's just himflat out telling her that she
was creepy and weird formourning her dog.
Edgar (31:27):
Yeah.
Erika (31:27):
Like that. I mean obviously there's a reason why
she's doing that and obviouslyhe found out because it's a
deeper meaning than just her dogSo he's just an asshole for not
really, like, being empatheticwith her and just being oh,
you're weird. That's it. The topcomment is your girlfriend or
your ex girlfriend most likelysounds amazing. I wish she was
(31:49):
my friend because she soundslike an awesome person to know.
Sounds like you lost a privilegeby being an asshole. You're the
asshole. Everything she said was100% correct. I don't even have
anything to add because shespoke for herself so clearly.
The fact you still don't get itshows that you have a
fundamental problem actuallyhearing her.
Read and reread what she saiduntil you get it. So we got,
(32:16):
Lila, a toy for her birthdayyesterday, and she loves it.
It's like a hundred dollar billwith a dog in the middle.
Edgar (32:24):
Mhmm.
Erika (32:24):
And it's so cute. And, of course, she decides to play with
it now.
Edgar (32:28):
Yeah. It was for her first birthday.
Erika (32:30):
Yeah. It's a big one. So You're back to the story. Yeah.
Edgar (32:35):
We're back to top comment.
Erika (32:36):
Yeah. So, the final update is I shared this post
with her thinking it might helpher see that I was wrong and I'm
owning it, and maybe it wouldopen the door to a discussion
that blow up in my face. Iprobably should have deleted
some of the questionablecomments I made in this thread.
She texted saying, your thingsare now in the garbage bag on
(32:57):
the porch. Pick them up soonerthan later so they aren't
stolen.
Goodbye. Please just break mywishes. Don't text me anymore.
He messed up.
Edgar (33:06):
Why share a a Fred like this? Like, why share, I posted
our situation on Reddit? Can youlook at it so we can get back
together? Like, let's just,like,
Erika (33:17):
bring together sense. Oh my god. He just dug a deeper
hole for him.
Edgar (33:23):
And apparently, there was, like, four comments that OP
made on the original friend thatwere not nice. So Yeah. That
you're gonna do a quest for him.
Erika (33:31):
He is not helping himself out at all. Alright. I think he
just he needs to let go. He wasan asshole. Hopefully, he
learned from the situation to bemore empathetic with somebody
else going through mourning orany situation and just be a
better person.
Reflect on yourself, OP. Be abetter person.
Edgar (33:50):
Yeah. Just take the l. So find a verdict.
Erika (33:53):
He's asshole. Yeah.
Edgar (33:54):
OP is definitely the asshole. Opie's ex, a little bit
weird, but, I mean, no
Erika (34:00):
one can take
Edgar (34:01):
it for you.
Erika (34:02):
And the Reddit actually put asshole poo mode.
Edgar (34:05):
Because it's
Erika (34:06):
Like, poo mode. Like, is he, like, shit mode? Oh. Like,
he's overly an asshole.
Edgar (34:12):
So the next story is titled, am I the asshole for
believing my two and a half yearold over my mother-in-law?
Without going into too manyspecifics, my mother-in-law is
difficult to deal with. Thebiggest problem I have with her
is that she does what she wantswith my daughter regardless of
what me or my husband says. I'llsay no candy. She'll give her
(34:32):
two pieces.
She sneaks a Coke and tea evenafter we told her not to. Most
things are harmless enough, butmy husband and I watch our
daughter like a hawk when we'reat their houses now. We were
there for a long weekend, andhonestly, everything was going
great. My mother-in-law was in agreat mood, and father-in-law
was feeling good. He's in hisnineties, and his health hasn't
(34:53):
been great the past few years.
I let my guard down, and I letmy daughter spend some time with
my mother-in-law. A couple ofdays later when my daughter and
I was eating lunch, she tells memother-in-law clipped her hair.
I asked her where, and she posedat her bangs. And sure enough,
they look like they've been cut.She also said she's gotten
(35:14):
grandma clipped it.
That would have been mydaughter's first haircut. I had
no doubt cut it. She mentioned acouple of times my daughter
needed a haircut. Me and myhusband said, no. We did not
want to cut her hair.
I texted my mother-in-law that Iknew she had cut her hair and
basically be be going no contactfor a while along with how I
(35:36):
felt about the situation. She,of course, denied everything and
called my husband screaming,crying. How can you believe
anything a two year old says? Soread it. Am I the asshole?
No.
Erika (35:48):
Absolutely not. She blatantly disregarded what they
both wanted. They just shecompletely disrespected their
decision and went above it andsaid, well, I wanna do this, and
that's it. I think it is justone of those things where if she
wanted to do it, she should'veasked her parents and respected
(36:11):
their wishes.
Edgar (36:12):
Yeah. Because, like, the parents like, the appearance of
the actual, like, child, theytheir say is, like, the final
say in terms of, like, what getsdone with the with the child.
Erika (36:22):
Yeah. Of course.
Edgar (36:23):
Like, if they say, I don't want the candy. I don't
want, like, the haircut. Theanyone who takes care of the
child, like, even even themother-in-law and the
father-in-law and thegrandparents, they should, like,
respect that.
Erika (36:35):
Yeah. She has she did not respect the boundaries.
Edgar (36:38):
Mhmm.
Erika (36:39):
And for her not going no contact for a while, good for
them because it's not okay. Andthe fact that she's throwing a
tantrum right now saying, howcan you believe a two year old?
It's crazy to me.
Edgar (36:50):
I know. She's just trying to, like, gaslight them.
Erika (36:53):
Yeah.
Edgar (36:53):
And, like, blame a a child for her own mistake.
Erika (36:57):
Yeah. I don't get that. And then there is a small edit
that says, it wasn't a weeklater that I noticed her hair
was cut. It was literally a dayand a half later. I did notice
it was different.
I just thought it was the wayshe slept on it. Her hair is
soft and fine, so tangles aren'treally a problem. And she hates
it when I try to fix it, so Ipretty much leave it alone until
it's time to wash it, which Idon't do every night. Also, my
(37:20):
mother-in-law has a history ofdisregarding your wishes as a
parent. She is in low contactwith her step grandchildren for
this exact reason.
So she's done it before withother children. So, I don't
understand.
Edgar (37:35):
It is people who don't respect boundaries. They just
think that they can do whateverthey want.
Erika (37:40):
Oh, they they think that they know better and that their
way is the right way.
Edgar (37:44):
Mhmm.
Erika (37:45):
So the top comment is not the asshole. Your mother-in-law
has a habit of going against thewishes of a child parent.
Doesn't matter who the kid is,strangely or stranger or family.
You know this. She knows this.
So how on earth can she expectyou to believe her when it comes
to your child? Now could yoursis now could your daughter have
(38:05):
lied? I mean, it's apossibility, but look at it this
way. Someone has cut her hair.So until good old grandma can
empirically prove she isn't theculprit, tell her that her
actions in the past have led youto believe the one person in the
situation who doesn't go behindyour back.
It doesn't matter that the oneperson is only a toddler.
(38:28):
Exactly. She has a track record.And if she knows she is known
for this, yeah, we're gonnabelieve the two year old child.
Edgar (38:34):
Exactly. Yeah.
Erika (38:36):
And why would a two year old child lie?
Edgar (38:38):
Mhmm.
Erika (38:39):
Like, I mean, sure, maybe manipulation stuff, but, like, I
don't know. It just doesn't makesense. Like
Edgar (38:43):
I think, yeah, it's only harder for them to lie, I
believe. I mean, they mightexperiment with lying at that
age, but I think for the mostpart, they just they just tell
you what what it is. Like, they
Erika (38:53):
can't They'd be like, oh, this happened or I fell or
somebody pushed me. You know?It's really simple things like
that. Yeah. Yeah.
So final verdict.
Edgar (39:02):
Yeah. OP isn't the asshole in this.
Erika (39:04):
Yeah. Definitely not. The mother-in-law is the asshole
when she needs to be put in herplace or have boundaries, woman.
Edgar (39:12):
She needs a leash.
Erika (39:13):
She crazy. No. But, yeah, she definitely needs to be
respectful of others' decision.So the last story is Emma the
asshole for refusing to cover mycoworker after finding out why
she needed time off. So at myjob, we're supposed to request
time off at least two weeks inadvance unless it's an
emergency.
My coworker, Sarah, thirty,female, asked me last week if I
(39:36):
could cover for her on a Friday.She said it was really
important, so I agreed to assumeit was a family thing or
something serious. Well, today,I found out through another
coworker that Sarah's emergencyis that she got tickets to a
concert last minute and didn'twanna lose her spot. I was
pissed. I went back to her andtold her I wasn't covering for
her anymore since she should'velied.
(39:58):
She got really upset and saidshe had to lie or else no one
would cover for her. I told herthat's not my problem and she
should have been honest. Nowshe's telling everyone I screwed
her over, and some people atwork are saying that I
overreacted because it's notthat deep. And I had already
agreed, but I feel like she liedto me, and that's not fair. Emma
the asshole.
Edgar (40:18):
Yeah. I think she's the asshole. I think, like, when
you're taken off work, if youhave the time to take off work,
you don't really need an excuse.But, like, I know for a lot of
companies, they want you tohave, like, a clear excuse.
Erika (40:33):
Yeah.
Edgar (40:34):
And I don't see any reason why we had to be, like,
completely honest to, like,companies in the first place
just because, like, they'renever honest with us ever. So
and this also shoots OP in theirfoot because no one's gonna
wanna, like, have her cover forthem anymore because they know
that she's gonna, like, backstabthem or if this is, like,
something that has to beprivate. It's no longer private
(40:56):
under OP's watch.
Erika (40:58):
Yeah. I mean, technically, she said it was an
emergency, but she didn't saywhat it was. Yeah. OP assumed
that it was a family thing orsomething serious.
Edgar (41:11):
Serious loss. Yeah.
Erika (41:13):
So, you know, she didn't say it was something family
related. So why she had to makeassumptions?
Edgar (41:24):
Okay. I don't
Erika (41:25):
think she's in the wrong. Plus, if I think they made a
whole new law. I don't know ifit applies to everybody, but if
you are you could take your sicktime
Edgar (41:35):
Mhmm.
Erika (41:35):
And you don't have to say why.
Edgar (41:38):
Yeah.
Erika (41:38):
Obviously, he's encouraged to because, you know,
morale, but now there's a newlaw that you don't have to tell
them why, which is pretty cool,I think.
Edgar (41:47):
Yeah.
Erika (41:47):
And also, I think she is asshole because now she went
back on her word because of herassumption.
Edgar (41:57):
Exactly. So Is that her is that OP's business?
Erika (42:01):
Yeah. I mean, if you said you're gonna cover it, then
cover for her. It doesn't matterthe reason. And if you've been
assumption that it was a familything, then it's not her fault.
Edgar (42:09):
Yeah.
Erika (42:10):
So the top comment is you're the asshole. She said it
was important, and it wasimportant to her. She didn't say
it was an emergency or somefamily problem like you
incorrectly assumed. If thereason was a critical factor in
your decision making, you shouldhave specifically asked her why
she needed to specifically askedher why she needed you to
switch. Exactly.
(42:31):
Yeah. Next time, just be moreupfront. Be like, okay. But
what's the reason reasoning ifthat's, you know, the way for
you to say yes?
Edgar (42:38):
Yeah. I hope he wanted, like if that was such a major
factor, yeah, she should've justbeen more clear. But,
ultimately, I think she was,like, the asshole in this
situation because, like and thisis, like, such a nonissue. Like,
it's not like her her core isnot that deep. She just take the
shift and and she shut up.
Erika (42:55):
Yeah. I mean, now she's screwed, though. Now she has
nobody to cover for her, and shewent off back on her word. It's
not her fault. I think if it wassuch a big deal, you should've
asked from the beginning why shewas taking it off.
That's it. Yeah. So finalverdict.
Edgar (43:11):
Sophie is the asshole.
Erika (43:12):
Yes. A %. And so also, Reddit agreed with us.
Edgar (43:16):
So
Erika (43:16):
that's all the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning
in to this week's episode. Checkit out our website,
wwyappings.com, and join ourmail list for updates. If you
love our podcast and want tosupport us, subscribe and share
with your friends and family. Wewill appreciate it so much.
Edgar (43:34):
Also, we started a new Facebook group called a I t a
dash relationship and familydrama linked in the description.
Join so you can share your NYUhousehold posts that you like
from Reddit or share your ownstories for all of us to judge.
We may even read a few posts inone of the episodes.
Erika (43:53):
Thank you for listening, and see you next Monday. Bye.
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with Yap worthy stories we findaround the web. Today's theme is
top stories this week. So thefirst story is Emma the asshole
for asking my girlfriend if shecan take a shower. My girlfriend
really only showers once a week,twice if I'm lucky.
Right. Typically, we go to thegym together, and I've often
(00:28):
asked her why she doesn'tshower. And she always comes
with things like, oh, womendon't really sweat much. And I
sweat very little even forwomen's standards, And I don't
buy it because I can smell. Iused to just suck it up because
she's extremely sensitive.
Kinda not safe for work here,but this even affected our
(00:48):
private life, and I've lostinterest. Fast forward a bit.
She now starts using a sauna atthe gym, maybe an average two
times a week. She still refusesto shower. I've said there's
just no way you don't sweat inthe sauna.
Just me sitting five minutes inthere gets me soaked. She says
she doesn't sweat much either,and she sits there for twenty
(01:12):
minutes.
Edgar (01:13):
She's just marinating.
Erika (01:15):
Ugh. So gross. Things are now worse. I can smell her very
badly, almost to the point whereI try not to breathe in too
close to her because it's notgood. I tried so long to give
hints to get her to shower.
I'm like, hey. Do you wanna takea shower together? But she can't
(01:35):
take the hint and says, whywould we do that? There's only
room for one under the wateranyway. One evening, she wanted
to lie down on the floor andstare at the world map she has.
She invited me to lie down nextto her and just talk about where
we want to go, etcetera. Ilasted for about one minute
before I had to make up somedumb excuse as to why I had to
(01:58):
get up. She then gets upset andsays along the lines, why are
you leaving? You never do stuffwith me. The truth is I just
can't be too close to her for solong.
I'm not even sure if I startedto resent her because it was
only this one thing that wasbugging me in the relationship,
but maybe I did, and that's myfault for being bad at
(02:21):
communicating to her. Anyway, Icouldn't hold it in any longer.
I tried one last time to ask herif she wanted to take a shower
with me to show I didn't want todo stuff with her, but she
declined. Then I said, I knowyou say you don't sweat, but I
can smell. I don't like thesmell of sweat, etcetera.
And being a popular gym we goto, I would just appreciate if
(02:43):
you showered a bit more. Shefreaked out. Yeah. Accused me of
things she asked, and asked if Ifound her disgusting, etcetera.
I almost felt like she wanted meto think she's disgusting for
some messed up reason.
Like, this was an easy way tocreate distance between us and
all that. And I'm not sure.Maybe I'm overthinking it. It's
just to me, it feels awful andobvious to shower, if not daily,
(03:08):
at least every other day. Shesaid she doesn't want to shower
her hair often, but still, youcan shower your body.
Our relationship is borderlineover because I hurt her. So Emma
the asshole, what could I havedone differently? Yeah.
Edgar (03:22):
I mean, that's, like, pretty gross. Like, she's just I
can just imagine this hopingthat awful Hope he couldn't even
manage one minute next to herbefore she's, like, gagging and,
like, leaving.
Erika (03:33):
That's gross. Like, I mean, I'm sorry. You go to the
sauna and you don't showerafter. Like, that's insane to me
because when you go in there,you're like, your whole body is
sweating. I mean, everywhere issweating.
So you're gonna come and tell meyou don't shower after that is
disgusting. And then it's likedead skin cells too, like,
because you could, like, peeloff and, you know, you need to
(03:55):
shower because you have deadskin cells on your body, and you
rub it off, and you wash andexfoliate your body as well.
Like, I don't know. Like, Ithink he's better off.
Edgar (04:06):
Yeah. Because it's, like, it's very unhygienic, and I can
just imagine, like, it's aterrible, like, smell. And I
don't know, like, why she's,like, not showering at all.
Yeah. Like, at all.
I imagine it's just, like, athing that she grew up with.
Like, oh, I don't need to showerthat much. And I think the
excuse that, like, oh, I justdon't shower or I don't I just
don't smell or I don't reallysweat. That's just, like, kind
of, like, the same excuse, like,same, like, dumb excuse, like,
(04:28):
some guys have. Well, like, thethe dumb joke that some guys
have about girls.
Like, oh, it's just, like, theyjust fart unicorns and, like,
rainbows.
Erika (04:35):
What do
Edgar (04:35):
you mean? Poop? This reminds me of but, like, she
actually lives by that.
Erika (04:41):
Yeah. But, like, for example, you don't sweat a lot
at all. Yeah. Like, you can doso much, like, workouts, run,
and stuff, and and I see, like,one drop of sweat.
Edgar (04:49):
Mhmm.
Erika (04:49):
I'm like, that's insane to me. And, like, I literally I
sweat easily. I'm the oppositeof you, but, obviously, I take
care of my hygiene. Like, I turnpurple like a tomato, not purple
red red as a tomato.
Edgar (05:01):
We see, like, workouts. Yeah.
Erika (05:02):
Yeah. So I'm like
Edgar (05:05):
But even, like, with me, like, when I'm not sweating that
much, I still, like, have theneed to, like, shower after a
workout.
Erika (05:10):
Gross. Because even though you're in sweat, you can
still smell.
Edgar (05:12):
And I know it's, like, it's gonna fester if I leave it
there for too long.
Erika (05:16):
Yeah. It's
Edgar (05:16):
not it's not good for your skin to have, like, sweat
on you all day.
Erika (05:19):
No. And then even for your, like I know a lot of
people don't wash their hairevery day, which is fine. Mhmm.
But I mean come on if you sweatand you work out and you go to
sauna and you're not washing itlike often because you're
literally sweating your glandsare open and you don't it's just
bad for your scalp health aswell I mean, I don't think how
(05:40):
that's gonna be good for you atall. So there is a small update,
and it says we broke up.
She already
Edgar (05:50):
For real.
Erika (05:51):
For real. I understand. No. I'm glad he did they did,
honestly. Because they just Imean, she should find somebody
that doesn't shower as oftenjust like her.
And maybe she can realize that,you know, it stinks. So she
refused to accept she wasdisgusting by not showering and
did not see anything wrong.Impossible for me to change her
mind when she is dead set on nowrongdoing. No point for me to
(06:17):
argue with someone like that.Seemed like there was a lot
unresolved trauma in her past.
I was aware of it. But not tothe severity of it and how it
still affected her. One of herfirst sentence come up when I
confronted her again about itwas break up with me then. Like,
she was challenging me orsomething. It really made me
feel weird.
(06:37):
Instead of instead of us comingto an agreement together, she
went very defenseless and justattacked me. She struggled with
having girlfriends as she wasscared of them stealing her
current boyfriend or something.So she always went to hang out
with guys. She loved gettingvalidation from guys as well,
and she ended up having a lot offriends with benefits over the
years, he said. There's a lot ofstuff I did not know, but that's
(07:00):
just not my thing.
For some reason, I something forsome reason, I I almost feel
used used in a way because Ifeel like to her, I was just
another friends with benefits,but she was someone I actually
saw future with. Ultimately,what's made ultimately, what
(07:22):
made us break up though was thefact that she sees herself as
over men or me in that case. Shebelieves women are holy. Her
words, not mine. Oh my god.
She was the taker in therelationship, and I was the
giver. It worked for some time,but I started resenting her, and
I did not want to be as much asa giver for her anymore. I
(07:43):
started to not to notice she didnot appreciate my effort, and
she did not reciprocate much atall. Hopefully, she will find a
guy who will put her on thehighest pedestal out there, but
that guy is not me. All power toher.
Edgar (07:56):
Yo. So she's, like, a slower, and she she doesn't sit
in the shower.
Erika (08:01):
That's gross. Come on. I think in and even if you have,
like, some hookups in there, Imean, if I guess if a guy is
desperate enough
Edgar (08:09):
Mhmm.
Erika (08:10):
You know? Ugh. No. I just
Edgar (08:13):
ugh. Imagine she's like, I I still feel clean, so I'm not
gonna shower.
Erika (08:16):
No. That's so wrong.
Edgar (08:19):
No. And this is what happens when you don't have
education on hygiene in the inthe school.
Erika (08:24):
I mean, he did mention there was some trauma. I don't
understand what type of trauma,So I can't judge her too.
Edgar (08:29):
What trauma can you have with the shower?
Erika (08:30):
No. I don't know. Maybe she was, like, when she was
little, there was some traumawith that. I don't know.
Regardless, she has some trauma.
Maybe she just needs some mentalhealth. She needs to talk to a
psychologist as to why shethinks it's okay to not have
good hygiene.
Edgar (08:45):
Yeah.
Erika (08:46):
So the top comment is, it's not just about sweat. No
wonder you don't want to be nearher. I shower every other day,
and I feel dirty if I don't. Ihave dry skin. Otherwise, I
shower daily, but my skin hurtsif it gets too dry.
She should be showering at leastthat often and absolutely after
each visit to the gym and sauna.That's gross.
Edgar (09:06):
Agreed.
Erika (09:07):
Yeah. And certain parts of your body obviously need, you
know, to be kept every day.
Edgar (09:12):
Can't work for you.
Erika (09:13):
Yeah. You can't just be like, oh, yeah. Just twice a
week, and it's fine. It's gonnasmell, especially if you work
out. That's disgusting.
I think he did the right thingby breaking up with her.
Edgar (09:24):
Yeah. He saved he saved his his nose.
Erika (09:27):
Not only that, you know, because it could cause an
affection too, like, certainthings. So
Edgar (09:32):
the affection's more on her end than him. But, yeah,
Erika (09:34):
I mean, he Yeah. I mean, I'm just glad.
Edgar (09:38):
Yeah. OP's in a better place right now. A better
smelling place. So final verdicton us.
Erika (09:44):
He is not the asshole.
Edgar (09:45):
Yeah. Definitely not. And, yeah, I think OP's ex is an
asshole, though.
Erika (09:49):
Yeah. I think he really tried. Yeah. He tried to tell
her, you know, maybe we shouldshower together or maybe we
should you know? Yeah.
He tried really hard.
Edgar (09:58):
The next story is titled, am I the asshole, permitting to
my son that I love his mothermore than him and telling him
he's acting self centered. Myson moved out right after
graduating college last year.Since then, he's been very
preoccupied with his own life.My wife and I couldn't be much
prouder of him, but we do wishhe'd made a little bit more
(10:19):
effort to keep in touch,especially since he only lived
thirty minutes away. Months gogo by without hearing much from
him, and we were always the onesto reach out first.
We never complained about it tohim until my wife's birthday.
Her birthday was two days ago,and we didn't get a call or a
surprise visit. She was a littleupset, but chose not to confront
(10:40):
him. I decided to call him aboutit, Not out of anger, just as a
reminder. I said, hey, buddy.
You missed your mother'sbirthday. He immediately
apologized and asked me to wishher a happy birthday on his
behalf. I told him it would benice if he could visit us soon
because we miss him. Apparently,that set him off. He told me
(11:02):
that he has his own life to liveand that we have ours.
I told him I understood. Butwe're still his parents, and we
wanna stay close. That's when hebluntly said he doesn't want a
close relationship with us andthat he's frustrated we won't
leave him alone. I asked himwhy, and I don't know where he
brought up something from whenhe was 10 years old. He said he
(11:26):
overheard my wife and me sayingthat we love each other more
than we love him.
I was completely confusedbecause I don't recall ever
saying anything like that. WhenI asked for more context, he
said we had been talking aboutour own parents' marriages. And
at some point, I said somethingalong the lines of, even though
I love him a lot, I love hismother the most. My wife
(11:48):
apparently agreed with me, andthe conversation has tainted his
view of our relationship eversince. I told him there was
nothing wrong with that and thathe was acting like a self
centered brat who thinks theworld revolves around him.
He told me to go to hell. When Itold my wife about what
happened, she said I was wrongfor calling him that even though
(12:10):
I believed it was true. So am Ithe asshole?
Erika (12:16):
I don't I feel like he is. OP? Yeah. I mean, for the
not all like, not completely. Ifeel like he shouldn't have
treated him that way.
I think there was a differentway he could have responded.
He's his son is telling him howhe made him feel and how, you
know, that part of his childhoodmade him feel like he wasn't
(12:40):
wanted or he wasn't loved. So heshould have reacted a different
way because his son was tellinghim how he was feeling. Yeah. I
think he just disregarded hisfeelings and said that he was
being a self centered brat waskinda not what he needed to
hear.
Yeah. I honestly think he couldhave reacted a better way. What
(13:03):
do you think?
Edgar (13:05):
I don't think OP is the asshole in this situation for,
like, how the son reacted whenhe was, like, younger. Because I
feel like that's kinda, like, anonsensical, like, arguments. I
feel like that's, like, anexcuse for just not seeing him.
Growing up, our parentsprobably, like, could've said
things better or they did thingsthat they probably regret. And
(13:26):
you and I, we we don't followour parents for that.
We don't, like, say, oh, becauseof this one thing you did when I
was a a preteen, I mean, I weregonna talk to you again, or I
don't want a relationship withyou. Like, that's just, like,
dumb. You know? It's, like, veryimmature. So that that's why I
agree with you with all Beyond.
Erika (13:42):
Yeah. But I just don't think for a child to come to
that conclusion, I don't believeit was just one thing. Maybe it
was her other situations orother words that were said
during his childhood that madehim react that way. So I don't
really think it's just that onething that made him feel that
(14:03):
type of way. Because I mean, asa child, you you have situations
with your mom or situations withyour parents, where you're like,
okay, you know, they made methis way and whatever.
It was just a one thing or itwas just, you know, they were
just out of anger. But if it'ssomething constant and you feel
a certain way, then I feel likeit taints your childhood.
Edgar (14:24):
Mhmm.
Erika (14:25):
So the top comment is you're the asshole. First of
all, he is as you raise them.Secondly, kids don't just wanna
decide to let go of arelationship with their parents
because they heard somethinglike that. In a home with
engaged, available parents, kidsflip out and tell their parents
they overheard somethingupsetting and or they demand to
(14:47):
know why they would say such athing. They just don't keep it a
secret for twenty years.
Something else is going on. Itmay be that you meant that you
love your wife and understoodthat she would be your partner
even when your kids grew up andmoved on. But clearly, you did
make your child feel neglected.If you want a relationship
calling, your son a selfcentered asshole isn't a great
(15:10):
way to begin. Did it even occurto you to ask how he felt or try
to clarify what you meant orexpress any sadness about the
fact that he did not, in fact,feel loved?
Do you think to tell him youwould like to have a better
relationship, or do you evenwant that? It wasn't just one
thing. Other stuff happened thatyou're not aware of or are
(15:33):
actively ignoring.
Edgar (15:34):
It would be a patterning as well. But
Erika (15:36):
Yeah. So I
Edgar (15:37):
do believe within the context of the story, I feel
like OP's son might be coveringfor something else. Like, it's
just, like, not the whole storyor just like, that one thing is,
like, an excuse.
Erika (15:50):
Yeah. Because Because as a parent, maybe he doesn't
realize he did anything wrong ormaybe some of the situations
where his son felt, you know,neglected or didn't feel loved,
and he's been not aware of itbecause he didn't think he did
anything wrong.
Edgar (16:02):
Yeah.
Erika (16:03):
So I I honestly think the way he reacted completely didn't
care what he said and didn't sayhow come or try to get to the
bottom of the situation or whyhe felt that way. So, I mean, if
that little snippet ofconversation with his son tells
you how he is Yeah. Then imaginehow his relationship is.
Edgar (16:27):
That yeah. Focusing on, like, that that one with a one
conversation from their story.Yeah. It's, like, not a way for,
like, a parent to, like, talk totheir kids. Like, it it's, like,
more of a something you, like,talk to your kids when, like,
you're really annoyed at them.
And, like, the kid is, like,four years old or three years
old. But if they're stilltalking like this as adults, it
(16:47):
seems like it was far somethingconsistent that they had, or
maybe that's just how he seeshim, like, his own son. Yeah.
Erika (16:55):
Like a child.
Edgar (16:55):
Yeah. So I think probably the child doesn't like or I hope
his son doesn't like beingtreated that way.
Erika (17:01):
Yeah. I honestly think that he needs to just have a
conversation with him and listento what he's saying, not just
automatically make a decision onwhat he needs to say and what he
thinks and just disregard whathe's feeling or what he's
saying. Mhmm. Because there'scontext behind it, and there's
feelings behind it. And he'sjust completely blindsided with
(17:25):
that.
You know?
Edgar (17:26):
Mhmm. And if if he if he really wanted, like, a
relationship with his son, hewould have gone about the
conversation differently, like,more empathetically.
Erika (17:36):
Yeah. And this is just one thing he's telling you
about. As like we mentioned, itcould probably be other things
that he has gone through. So,yeah, I think they both need to
have a conversation with him andsit down and tell him that he's
important in this relationship.I understand that having a good
relationship with yoursignificant other wife, husband,
whatever is important whenhaving kids.
But to make a child feel likehe's not loved or he's not as
(17:58):
important as your wife, it'sit's an issue.
Edgar (18:00):
Fun of verdict?
Erika (18:01):
I still think he's an asshole for his reaction.
Edgar (18:04):
I think also, yeah, the OP. That I think about more OP
is, like, the asshole as well.But the sun is also an asshole
because she's also, like, notgoing about it a good way as
well.
Erika (18:14):
But he's
Edgar (18:14):
But it's, like, more of yes. He's a child, but he's like
a adult now. But OP, it's likeit's on more on OP's end to,
like, fix the relationships.That's what he wants from it,
like, for them to be closeagain. So he has to fight in the
effort.
Erika (18:26):
I mean, he's still newly adult. As as a father, he should
know better. And he was alsovoted the asshole.
Edgar (18:33):
The next story is titled, am I the asshole for telling my
sister and brother-in-law it'stheir fault the son doesn't
speak to them? Throw away forprivacy. I, 53, female, have a
sister, 55, female. I call herCaroline. She has been married
for thirty years to her husbandRichard, fifty eight male.
(18:54):
When they married in the 90s,they planned to have children.
However, nature had other plansfor them, and my brother-in-law
couldn't have children. Thedoctor confirmed the
impossibility, and thisdevastated them. After weighing
their options, they chose to gothrough infertility treatments
with donor sores. I also mustnote that my sister is a
controlling person, and mybrother-in-law thinks he knows
(19:17):
everything.
Fast forward a few years, and mysister and brother-in-law had
two sons through this process,both of whom have different
donors. And as science grownwith DNA, I advised my sister to
tell the children when they wereyoung of how they came to be and
just be honest with them. I wasmet with harsh backlash, telling
(19:37):
me to mind my own business andthat under no circumstances are
her sons to find out. I wouldcontinually bring it up on
occasion until one nasty fightwhere my brother-in-law told me
I was an uneducated idiot whoknew nothing about the subject.
Then I gave up and never spoketo them about it again.
Last year, Caroline's oldest sondecided to take a twenty three
(19:59):
year immunity test anddiscovered that my
brother-in-law is not hisbiological father. This caused a
massive uproar in my sister'sfamily. My nephew told them he
always knew something was wrongand wanted to find the truth.
After months of back and forthfighting about my sister and
brother in law's betrayal oftrust, per my nephew, he has now
cut contact with his parents. Iconnected with him through
(20:21):
social media and will not doanything to risk losing this
contact.
Last week, my sister called mesobbing because the birthday
present she sent to her son wasreturned with a note that said,
do not contact me again, from mynephew. After listening to her
for thirty minutes, I got tired.I tried to hang up, but she
lashed out and asked why Iwasn't supporting her. I told
(20:43):
her the truth, that she ignoredmy thoughts for years. I told
her I warned her that sciencewas catching up with her lies,
as she should have told the kidswhen they were young so they
could process it better.
She called me heartless and amonster for not giving her help
and trying to persuade my nephewto speak with her. I told her
that I would not do that toeither her or her
(21:04):
brother-in-law, and thissituation is their fault and
that they need to figure out howto live with the consequences or
find a way to fix therelationship with their son. It
was then my brother-in-law goton the phone and called me a
bitch and hung up on me.
Erika (21:19):
He
Edgar (21:19):
just came out you just came out of nowhere. Just say
that. The brother-in-law point.My mother and father got
involved and told me that a goodsister wouldn't want this type
of family tension to continue,that I needed to step up and
help my sister and her son speakto each other. I refuse because
I won't risk my one connection Istill have with my nephew.
(21:41):
So am I the asshole for nothelping my sister and fixing
relationship with my nephew andtelling them that it's their
fault? So, yeah, for, I don'tthink he's the asshole. And I
think he's wise to, like, notpress on the nephew on this
because he's probably, likeeveryone in that in that family
is probably, like, on Finn Nice
Erika (21:59):
Yeah.
Edgar (21:59):
For, for the nephew.
Erika (22:01):
They need some type of family on their side right now.
I think if she was to be like,yeah, you should talk to your
mom, they would just be leftwithout anybody to talk to. I
just I think the sisters shouldhave listened to her and took
the advice
Edgar (22:17):
Mhmm.
Erika (22:18):
Because I think it's important to tell your kids, you
know, we are your parents andbut, you know, they're not
biologically but biologically,you know, you're the same DNA.
Edgar (22:30):
Mhmm.
Erika (22:31):
Because it's not a parent just for the DNA. It's a parent
who takes care of you whenyou're sick and, you know,
nurtures you. So yeah.
Edgar (22:41):
Yeah. She was worried warned about this for, like,
well over a few decades at thispoint. So for her to, like, now
want sympathy and have hersister who were, like,
disrespected, like, all theseyears. Like, oh, now can you
help me? Because I I didn'tlisten to your advice.
Like, I I would be frustrated.It was okay.
Erika (23:01):
Yeah. And then for the brother-in-law to call her a a
bitch. Like, really?
Edgar (23:09):
I know. The brother-in-law is not helping in
this situation at all.
Erika (23:11):
No. Even the parents. Like, you are not helping the
situation here. I think, sure,everybody has a say, and you
don't have to listen to how you,you know, teach your child or
have a conversation with them orwhat you share with them. But,
you know, now the situation hasbasically hit the fan.
Edgar (23:32):
And
Erika (23:32):
so I think, honestly, she just needs to give the child
some time. I think right now,they the person is hurt. The
child is hurt and feels like theidentity is completely, like,
all over the place, feelsconfused and frustrated, like,
he's been lied to. I think ifshe just gets him some time to
(23:58):
think and let him to reflect andjust let him, you know, feel
Edgar (24:03):
Yeah.
Erika (24:03):
Then eventually, he will, you know, come around. Because I
don't I mean, I don't thinkthey're abusive or anything like
that. Just, you know, he justfeels light to all his life.
Edgar (24:14):
Yeah. The nephew definitely needs some time, and
they should just respect it atthe moment. And this the OP
shouldn't do, like, anything to,like, try to impress the nephew
because I feel like from theirtheir only very delicate social
media connection, that's, like,I don't know if you're saying I
trust you for now, but if you doanything else, I'll sue you as
(24:35):
well.
Erika (24:36):
Yeah. Mhmm. So the top comment is not that asshole.
Edgar (24:45):
This is our dog, Selena, is currently licking, Erica's
mouth as she's speaking. Yes.Tonguing her.
Erika (24:56):
Yeah. Yeah. She does that a lot. We have they're always
with us. And, once we do videos,you'll be able to see them and
their cute little clothes theyhave on.
So the top comment is not theasshole. They insisted on not
listening to you, punished youenough that you shut up, and now
(25:20):
they want you to nuke yourrelationship with your nephew in
attempt to fix the issue. Plusthat seems unlikely to work. You
value your relationship withyour nephew and don't wanna risk
it. Actions have consequences,and you are thinking ahead
again.
Edgar (25:36):
Nicely wrapped up.
Erika (25:37):
Exactly.
Edgar (25:38):
Like, this is like, even if OP goes ahead and caves talks
to your nephew Yeah. To try tofix a relationship, like, I
think this is, like, unlikelyto, like, work. It's gonna be it
caused me more issues. Nowthere's, like, no one they can,
like, contact that can talk toyour nephew. Yeah.
And they would still be mad atOP. They They were like, you
messed that up. Yeah. Like, youI I can see that happening.
Erika (26:00):
Yeah. There's no winning in this case. I think she's
doing good with, just stayingout of it and supporting his
nephew. And if what if thegrandparents talks to him if
they want to? Why is it up toher?
And why are they blaming hersaying, oh, you should talk to
them? It's always you know, Ijust don't understand parents
sometimes. I know they alwayswant to keep the peace, but
(26:25):
sometimes it's just making itworse, honestly.
Edgar (26:28):
Still final verdict?
Erika (26:30):
Not the asshole at all.
Edgar (26:32):
Yeah. Agreed.
Erika (26:34):
Okay. So the next story is, am I the asshole for
refusing to let my girlfriendbring her dog dead ashes, on
vacation? My girlfriend, 29female, and I, 28 male, have
been together for four months.She had a dog that died a few
months ago before we met. I haveonly ever spent the night at her
place.
I live with my sister and hertwo kids, so it's a little
(26:56):
chaotic at my place. Girlfriendhas a small two, three inch tall
urine on her bedside table withthe dog's ashes. Before she
turns off the lamp, she goes tosleep. She always gives it a
little tap on the on the top andsays goodnight as though she is
talking to the dog. I think it'sweird, but I have never said
anything.
(27:16):
We were supposed to go away forthe weekend on Friday. I was
watching her pack and noticedshe took the urine and put it at
the top pocket of her backpack.I asked what she was doing. She
said she didn't want to leavethe dog behind. I told her she
was not allowed to bring theurine as it be made me very
uncomfortable.
I didn't wanna see it anytime wereturned to our hotel. I didn't
(27:40):
want her talking to her dead dogafter we had sex before we go to
sleep. It's weird. And, frankly,she's been mourning this dog for
too long. She didn't argue.
She simply started to unpack herbag. She told me to have fun on
the weekend, get away as shewould not be coming. I asked if
she was seriously choosing adog's ashes over me. She said
(28:01):
she was choosing herself over meas I could have spoken to her
with kindness and empathy, butdidn't. She also said that I
didn't get to dictate how longshe's allowed to grieve, then
she asked me to leave.
She hasn't replied to my text.Thinks, she's I think she's
overreacting. My sister says shecan see both our sides. Am I the
(28:22):
asshole for thinking mygirlfriend is weird for being
attached to her dead dog'sashes?
Edgar (28:28):
Yeah. I think yeah. For me, I'd say OP is not the
asshole in this case.
Erika (28:33):
Right? Like, how dare you? Like, it's usually dogs.
Sometimes they have a you know,when they're kids, and they grow
up with dog. Mhmm.
So it's it's years, ten tofifteen years you have a dog
sometimes. And for you forsomebody to say, oh, you know,
you're just need to get over it.
Edgar (28:50):
Yeah. Because, like, yeah, all pets are, like, a a
family member. And to have themhave to wear is, like, very,
like, traumatizing and, like,you need time to mourn. I do
think the OP's ex is a littlebit weird on how she's, like,
mourning. Like, and I think it'sfine to tap it tap the urine at
the end of the day becausethat's just, like, her routine.
(29:11):
Like, eventually, it should besomething that she just does
every day. But I think it was alittle weird to bring it, like,
on vacation. Because for me, mymy concern would be that they
would lose the urn, like, enroute.
Erika (29:23):
Yarn. Yeah. Yeah. Or if they're going on a plane,
usually, you need some type ofdocumentation or something like
that. You can just bring dustand stuff like that without any
Edgar (29:35):
Mhmm. Yeah. I think it would be difficult. Like, it is
just like an extra hassle for avacation. I think the safest
place for, like, a year and anythose kind of morrows would be
just, like, at your home.
Erika (29:46):
Yeah. I think you're right. I think it's just one of
those things where there I don'tthink there's a limit to
morning, but I think it would besafer to leave the ashes at
home. Yeah. So there are littlesmall updates that says the
hotel was not refundable.
They're only three hour drive,so I went to the trip without
her.
Edgar (30:05):
Cool.
Erika (30:05):
She started seeing a psychologist around the same
time we started dating. Shehasn't told me any specifics,
because she said the trauma ofslowly losing her dog brought to
the surface another trauma inher past. This is why I think
she has been mourning for toolong. She is still attached to
the dog even after seeing aprofessional on a regular basis
for several months. And thenthere was one more update that
(30:30):
says, I get it.
I'm an asshole. I texted mygirlfriend to say I'm sorry for
how I spoke to her and fordismissing her feelings. It was
wrong. I also said I would liketo apologize in person and
offered to bring her favoritetakeout. She said, oh, good.
Don't worry about it. I boughtan in person apology. I gathered
the things you've left at myhouse. Let me know when you like
(30:52):
to come and pick them up. I'mhoping she would still hear me
out when I go to her place.
Yeah. I think she's done. Yeah.Yeah.
Edgar (31:01):
Because Sophie's, like, behavior is also, like, not
acceptable. If anyone's, like,mourning or sad, you just don't
tell them to get over there.Like, that's asking for the
worst case reaction from anotherperson.
Erika (31:13):
Yeah. I think it's not just him being empathetic not
being empathetic. It's just himflat out telling her that she
was creepy and weird formourning her dog.
Edgar (31:27):
Yeah.
Erika (31:27):
Like that. I mean obviously there's a reason why
she's doing that and obviouslyhe found out because it's a
deeper meaning than just her dogSo he's just an asshole for not
really, like, being empatheticwith her and just being oh,
you're weird. That's it. The topcomment is your girlfriend or
your ex girlfriend most likelysounds amazing. I wish she was
(31:49):
my friend because she soundslike an awesome person to know.
Sounds like you lost a privilegeby being an asshole. You're the
asshole. Everything she said was100% correct. I don't even have
anything to add because shespoke for herself so clearly.
The fact you still don't get itshows that you have a
fundamental problem actuallyhearing her.
Read and reread what she saiduntil you get it. So we got,
(32:16):
Lila, a toy for her birthdayyesterday, and she loves it.
It's like a hundred dollar billwith a dog in the middle.
Edgar (32:24):
Mhmm.
Erika (32:24):
And it's so cute. And, of course, she decides to play with
it now.
Edgar (32:28):
Yeah. It was for her first birthday.
Erika (32:30):
Yeah. It's a big one. So You're back to the story. Yeah.
Edgar (32:35):
We're back to top comment.
Erika (32:36):
Yeah. So, the final update is I shared this post
with her thinking it might helpher see that I was wrong and I'm
owning it, and maybe it wouldopen the door to a discussion
that blow up in my face. Iprobably should have deleted
some of the questionablecomments I made in this thread.
She texted saying, your thingsare now in the garbage bag on
(32:57):
the porch. Pick them up soonerthan later so they aren't
stolen.
Goodbye. Please just break mywishes. Don't text me anymore.
He messed up.
Edgar (33:06):
Why share a a Fred like this? Like, why share, I posted
our situation on Reddit? Can youlook at it so we can get back
together? Like, let's just,like,
Erika (33:17):
bring together sense. Oh my god. He just dug a deeper
hole for him.
Edgar (33:23):
And apparently, there was, like, four comments that OP
made on the original friend thatwere not nice. So Yeah. That
you're gonna do a quest for him.
Erika (33:31):
He is not helping himself out at all. Alright. I think he
just he needs to let go. He wasan asshole. Hopefully, he
learned from the situation to bemore empathetic with somebody
else going through mourning orany situation and just be a
better person.
Reflect on yourself, OP. Be abetter person.
Edgar (33:50):
Yeah. Just take the l. So find a verdict.
Erika (33:53):
He's asshole. Yeah.
Edgar (33:54):
OP is definitely the asshole. Opie's ex, a little bit
weird, but, I mean, no
Erika (34:00):
one can take
Edgar (34:01):
it for you.
Erika (34:02):
And the Reddit actually put asshole poo mode.
Edgar (34:05):
Because it's
Erika (34:06):
Like, poo mode. Like, is he, like, shit mode? Oh. Like,
he's overly an asshole.
Edgar (34:12):
So the next story is titled, am I the asshole for
believing my two and a half yearold over my mother-in-law?
Without going into too manyspecifics, my mother-in-law is
difficult to deal with. Thebiggest problem I have with her
is that she does what she wantswith my daughter regardless of
what me or my husband says. I'llsay no candy. She'll give her
(34:32):
two pieces.
She sneaks a Coke and tea evenafter we told her not to. Most
things are harmless enough, butmy husband and I watch our
daughter like a hawk when we'reat their houses now. We were
there for a long weekend, andhonestly, everything was going
great. My mother-in-law was in agreat mood, and father-in-law
was feeling good. He's in hisnineties, and his health hasn't
(34:53):
been great the past few years.
I let my guard down, and I letmy daughter spend some time with
my mother-in-law. A couple ofdays later when my daughter and
I was eating lunch, she tells memother-in-law clipped her hair.
I asked her where, and she posedat her bangs. And sure enough,
they look like they've been cut.She also said she's gotten
(35:14):
grandma clipped it.
That would have been mydaughter's first haircut. I had
no doubt cut it. She mentioned acouple of times my daughter
needed a haircut. Me and myhusband said, no. We did not
want to cut her hair.
I texted my mother-in-law that Iknew she had cut her hair and
basically be be going no contactfor a while along with how I
(35:36):
felt about the situation. She,of course, denied everything and
called my husband screaming,crying. How can you believe
anything a two year old says? Soread it. Am I the asshole?
No.
Erika (35:48):
Absolutely not. She blatantly disregarded what they
both wanted. They just shecompletely disrespected their
decision and went above it andsaid, well, I wanna do this, and
that's it. I think it is justone of those things where if she
wanted to do it, she should'veasked her parents and respected
(36:11):
their wishes.
Edgar (36:12):
Yeah. Because, like, the parents like, the appearance of
the actual, like, child, theytheir say is, like, the final
say in terms of, like, what getsdone with the with the child.
Erika (36:22):
Yeah. Of course.
Edgar (36:23):
Like, if they say, I don't want the candy. I don't
want, like, the haircut. Theanyone who takes care of the
child, like, even even themother-in-law and the
father-in-law and thegrandparents, they should, like,
respect that.
Erika (36:35):
Yeah. She has she did not respect the boundaries.
Edgar (36:38):
Mhmm.
Erika (36:39):
And for her not going no contact for a while, good for
them because it's not okay. Andthe fact that she's throwing a
tantrum right now saying, howcan you believe a two year old?
It's crazy to me.
Edgar (36:50):
I know. She's just trying to, like, gaslight them.
Erika (36:53):
Yeah.
Edgar (36:53):
And, like, blame a a child for her own mistake.
Erika (36:57):
Yeah. I don't get that. And then there is a small edit
that says, it wasn't a weeklater that I noticed her hair
was cut. It was literally a dayand a half later. I did notice
it was different.
I just thought it was the wayshe slept on it. Her hair is
soft and fine, so tangles aren'treally a problem. And she hates
it when I try to fix it, so Ipretty much leave it alone until
it's time to wash it, which Idon't do every night. Also, my
(37:20):
mother-in-law has a history ofdisregarding your wishes as a
parent. She is in low contactwith her step grandchildren for
this exact reason.
So she's done it before withother children. So, I don't
understand.
Edgar (37:35):
It is people who don't respect boundaries. They just
think that they can do whateverthey want.
Erika (37:40):
Oh, they they think that they know better and that their
way is the right way.
Edgar (37:44):
Mhmm.
Erika (37:45):
So the top comment is not the asshole. Your mother-in-law
has a habit of going against thewishes of a child parent.
Doesn't matter who the kid is,strangely or stranger or family.
You know this. She knows this.
So how on earth can she expectyou to believe her when it comes
to your child? Now could yoursis now could your daughter have
(38:05):
lied? I mean, it's apossibility, but look at it this
way. Someone has cut her hair.So until good old grandma can
empirically prove she isn't theculprit, tell her that her
actions in the past have led youto believe the one person in the
situation who doesn't go behindyour back.
It doesn't matter that the oneperson is only a toddler.
(38:28):
Exactly. She has a track record.And if she knows she is known
for this, yeah, we're gonnabelieve the two year old child.
Edgar (38:34):
Exactly. Yeah.
Erika (38:36):
And why would a two year old child lie?
Edgar (38:38):
Mhmm.
Erika (38:39):
Like, I mean, sure, maybe manipulation stuff, but, like, I
don't know. It just doesn't makesense. Like
Edgar (38:43):
I think, yeah, it's only harder for them to lie, I
believe. I mean, they mightexperiment with lying at that
age, but I think for the mostpart, they just they just tell
you what what it is. Like, they
Erika (38:53):
can't They'd be like, oh, this happened or I fell or
somebody pushed me. You know?It's really simple things like
that. Yeah. Yeah.
So final verdict.
Edgar (39:02):
Yeah. OP isn't the asshole in this.
Erika (39:04):
Yeah. Definitely not. The mother-in-law is the asshole
when she needs to be put in herplace or have boundaries, woman.
Edgar (39:12):
She needs a leash.
Erika (39:13):
She crazy. No. But, yeah, she definitely needs to be
respectful of others' decision.So the last story is Emma the
asshole for refusing to cover mycoworker after finding out why
she needed time off. So at myjob, we're supposed to request
time off at least two weeks inadvance unless it's an
emergency.
My coworker, Sarah, thirty,female, asked me last week if I
(39:36):
could cover for her on a Friday.She said it was really
important, so I agreed to assumeit was a family thing or
something serious. Well, today,I found out through another
coworker that Sarah's emergencyis that she got tickets to a
concert last minute and didn'twanna lose her spot. I was
pissed. I went back to her andtold her I wasn't covering for
her anymore since she should'velied.
(39:58):
She got really upset and saidshe had to lie or else no one
would cover for her. I told herthat's not my problem and she
should have been honest. Nowshe's telling everyone I screwed
her over, and some people atwork are saying that I
overreacted because it's notthat deep. And I had already
agreed, but I feel like she liedto me, and that's not fair. Emma
the asshole.
Edgar (40:18):
Yeah. I think she's the asshole. I think, like, when
you're taken off work, if youhave the time to take off work,
you don't really need an excuse.But, like, I know for a lot of
companies, they want you tohave, like, a clear excuse.
Erika (40:33):
Yeah.
Edgar (40:34):
And I don't see any reason why we had to be, like,
completely honest to, like,companies in the first place
just because, like, they'renever honest with us ever. So
and this also shoots OP in theirfoot because no one's gonna
wanna, like, have her cover forthem anymore because they know
that she's gonna, like, backstabthem or if this is, like,
something that has to beprivate. It's no longer private
(40:56):
under OP's watch.
Erika (40:58):
Yeah. I mean, technically, she said it was an
emergency, but she didn't saywhat it was. Yeah. OP assumed
that it was a family thing orsomething serious.
Edgar (41:11):
Serious loss. Yeah.
Erika (41:13):
So, you know, she didn't say it was something family
related. So why she had to makeassumptions?
Edgar (41:24):
Okay. I don't
Erika (41:25):
think she's in the wrong. Plus, if I think they made a
whole new law. I don't know ifit applies to everybody, but if
you are you could take your sicktime
Edgar (41:35):
Mhmm.
Erika (41:35):
And you don't have to say why.
Edgar (41:38):
Yeah.
Erika (41:38):
Obviously, he's encouraged to because, you know,
morale, but now there's a newlaw that you don't have to tell
them why, which is pretty cool,I think.
Edgar (41:47):
Yeah.
Erika (41:47):
And also, I think she is asshole because now she went
back on her word because of herassumption.
Edgar (41:57):
Exactly. So Is that her is that OP's business?
Erika (42:01):
Yeah. I mean, if you said you're gonna cover it, then
cover for her. It doesn't matterthe reason. And if you've been
assumption that it was a familything, then it's not her fault.
Edgar (42:09):
Yeah.
Erika (42:10):
So the top comment is you're the asshole. She said it
was important, and it wasimportant to her. She didn't say
it was an emergency or somefamily problem like you
incorrectly assumed. If thereason was a critical factor in
your decision making, you shouldhave specifically asked her why
she needed to specifically askedher why she needed you to
switch. Exactly.
(42:31):
Yeah. Next time, just be moreupfront. Be like, okay. But
what's the reason reasoning ifthat's, you know, the way for
you to say yes?
Edgar (42:38):
Yeah. I hope he wanted, like if that was such a major
factor, yeah, she should've justbeen more clear. But,
ultimately, I think she was,like, the asshole in this
situation because, like and thisis, like, such a nonissue. Like,
it's not like her her core isnot that deep. She just take the
shift and and she shut up.
Erika (42:55):
Yeah. I mean, now she's screwed, though. Now she has
nobody to cover for her, and shewent off back on her word. It's
not her fault. I think if it wassuch a big deal, you should've
asked from the beginning why shewas taking it off.
That's it. Yeah. So finalverdict.
Edgar (43:11):
Sophie is the asshole.
Erika (43:12):
Yes. A %. And so also, Reddit agreed with us.
Edgar (43:16):
So
Erika (43:16):
that's all the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning
in to this week's episode. Checkit out our website,
wwyappings.com, and join ourmail list for updates. If you
love our podcast and want tosupport us, subscribe and share
with your friends and family. Wewill appreciate it so much.
Edgar (43:34):
Also, we started a new Facebook group called a I t a
dash relationship and familydrama linked in the description.
Join so you can share your NYUhousehold posts that you like
from Reddit or share your ownstories for all of us to judge.
We may even read a few posts inone of the episodes.
Erika (43:53):
Thank you for listening, and see you next Monday. Bye.
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