March 31, 2025 • 51 mins
🎙️ This week on Yapping Schnauzers: we’re bringing you the messiest kind of drama — broken boundaries🧨
From family members overstaying their welcome 🛋️ to toxic parents trying to guilt their way back into control 💰, these stories will have you yapping right along with us. Erika and Edgar break down 6 jaw-dropping Reddit tales where personal lines were crossed and chaos ensued:
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- AIO for ending this with my wife today because her family keeps barging in?
- AIO Over this 'notice' my aunt's boyfriend gave me
- AITA for not marrying the girl my brother knocked up?
- My 2 month old died because of my mother-in-law. Idk what to do now
- Aitah for denying my sister's lies in front of her in-laws?
- AITA for not giving my estranged father's wife the money he sent me?
~
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:03):
Hello, this is Erika
Edgar (00:04):
and Edgar
Erika (00:06):
and we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with the noteworthy stories wefind around the web. Today's
theme is Broken Boundaries.
Edgar (00:16):
The first story will be titled, Am I Overreacting for
Ending This With My Wife TodayBecause Her Family Keeps Barging
In? I, male thirty eight, leftmy wife, Kelly (a female thirty
eight) today. Five yearstogether, four married. I have
battered her lack of boundariesabout her family for the past
(00:38):
two years. I understand thatthey are very close knits, but
she never paid attention to howtheir dynamics affected our
relationship.
I experienced very not of familysituations. My food was eaten,
showing up uninvited, meddling,you name it. Nine months ago,
mother-in-law and father-in-lawbegan divorce proceedings. He
(01:02):
cheated, fell madly in love witha side chick with whom he'd
lived for the past fifteenyears, and he decided that he
wants to get remarried. Hekicked everyone out of the
house.
It was an emergency, so I agreedto help out. I regret it. I had
to take four people in, but theycouldn't think to avoid
constantly pissing me off. I gotsick of finding them using a
(01:26):
private bathroom. They hadcomplete access to the other
full bathroom by the hallway.
Sister-in-law started takingnaps on our bed, which is creepy
because a bed is too personal. Icame home late and we had to
wake her up and still waited forher to nap out of her groggy
state so that she could walkout. It lasted for three months,
but the problems persisted. Nomatter how many times I told my
(01:49):
wife and even told them, theystill showed up at random hours.
Even if I didn't run into them,I know she was allowing them to
come over.
I hated their presents. Theywould eat my snacks and get all
my expensive recliner chair,which again, they didn't
contribute a penny for. I had amini orchid that they picked
empty. Things got so tense thatI blew at her in front of them.
(02:15):
They left.
We had a fight and I ended upsleeping in a hotel. I warned
her many times about being fedup and needing her to support
me. She acted like I wasdemanding that she abandon her
family. Today, I came home tofind her brother's car blocking
the entrance, not on the sideand not even on the driveway,
just right in the middle wheremy only option would be to get
(02:36):
on the lawn. I go inside andhe's laying with his shoes on
the couch.
He gave me this fresh bow likehe's untouchable. I went to our
bedroom and packed as much of mybelunking as possible and
ignored her pleas to talk.There's nothing else to talk
about. I already called a fewlawyers but haven't received any
replies yet. She cried but atthis point I had no empathy.
(02:59):
I don't even know if I amoveracting or if I need to
discuss this in private. I feeldefeated and angry, and I also
hate her family with my soul.They knew they were hurting our
relationship and they didn'tcare. She knew that I'm a
private person who hates beinginvaded. I helped them because I
live here and I didn't have theballs to tell them to go sleep
(03:23):
in their car.
We don't have kids, but thereare so many things that would be
left undone. I loved her somuch, but I just can't. She
called me immediately after Ileft and I told her that my
decision is final. She soundedshaken, but I told her that
right now, I despise her andwould never be able to sleep
next to her again. Sorry for anytypos, I have a migraine right
(03:45):
now.
I'm just coming here because Ijust want to ask if leaving the
way I did was an asshole movemaybe I should have announced my
intentions of ending ourmarriage after her brother was
gone. What do you think?
Erika (03:57):
No, I think he just came to the end of the line now. I
think he's fed up abouteverything. The lack of privacy,
the lack of- Respect. Irrespect,exactly.
Edgar (04:09):
And
Erika (04:09):
he you know, he blew up. And I mean, what did she expect?
She did not side with him. Shedid not try to understand him.
She tried not to offer him asolace because you know, your
home is a solace.
It's something that's you, youand hers. Know, somewhere where
(04:30):
you could be peace and do yourown thing and have, you know, a
private relationship, especiallyif he's a private person.
Edgar (04:36):
Yeah.
Erika (04:37):
And the fact that the family didn't let them have that
relationship instead of, youknow, maybe calling ahead or
saying, Hey, can we stop bytoday? Then just coming in
thinking, you know, they paidthe bills and they lived there
too. Was crazy to me.
Edgar (04:50):
Yeah, think, yeah, OP was definitely nice to, like, have
them, like, stay at his placewhile they are, like, get
situated. But they definitelytook advantage of the situation
and they just made it worse forOP and his now ex wife or
fiance. I mean,
Erika (05:05):
I think
Edgar (05:05):
Like if they were respectful, it would have been
nice for them, you know?
Erika (05:11):
I mean, course. Yeah, they would have respected OP and
the wife, then this wouldn'thave gone this far. I think also
OP's wife let this go on too farand too long and didn't put them
in their place. I mean,especially if my hubby or my
boyfriend told me, Hey, I'mfeeling uncomfortable or I need
(05:31):
some space or I need somethingto change, I would respect that.
I wouldn't just block him andsaying, Oh, you're making me
choose between my family andyou.
And that's literallymanipulation right there.
Edgar (05:45):
You feel like it's kind of divorced for events?
Erika (05:50):
Yeah.
Edgar (05:51):
Because OP's wife would have tried to fix it at this
point and you think they couldhave reconciled that way?
Erika (05:59):
No, I think he gave her a lot of chances to talk. He tried
to speak with him and he put upwith a lot. And the fact that
she, with her response to sayingthat, you know, making her
choose between him and hisfamily is ridiculous. He
literally shot him down fortrying to speak to her. So I
(06:20):
don't I don't think it'sunreasonable for him trying to
get a divorce.
I mean, now, she's saying shewants to talk, but there's no
guarantee that she's gonnalisten.
Edgar (06:28):
Yeah. This could be fixed by just, like, having the family
not allowed in the houseanymore. Like, like, I I know OP
does not want to see his wifeanymore currently. He's just
sick of her. But it's not herthat's causing all these issues,
it's the family.
So to have the family out of thepicture even for a little bit
could give them a chance to comeback together and try to
(06:51):
rebuild, like, whatever is leftof the relationship.
Erika (06:54):
But I don't think that's gonna help because the family's
gonna do it again. So let's saythey stop coming in for a little
while.
Edgar (07:01):
No. Like, just change the locks and just make sure they
don't come.
Erika (07:05):
Yeah, but what if she continues to continue what if
she continues to allow it?
Edgar (07:11):
Well, at that point then you can leave, but until then,
we just like have it so likethey're hard not allowed back,
and just build it from there andsee if it's just like the family
that he's sick of or it wasactually her that she's sick of?
I mean, OP is sick of.
Erika (07:27):
I don't know. I think she had a chance, many chances to
speak with him because Iguarantee you he has spoken to
her about it. And the fact thattheir family feels so
comfortable of going inside,blocking the entrance, leaving
their shoes on on the couch andlaying on him and giving him a
smirk is because time and timeand time again, they've seen how
(07:50):
much the wife has put them firstand has not allowed them to give
him that respect that hedeserves. I don't know. I think
if you don't have respect inyour relationship and you allow
other people, especially yourfamily, disrespect your spouse
or your boyfriend or yourgirlfriend.
I don't think it's ever gonnawork regardless of how much you
want to. So yeah, the topcomment is she only wanted to
(08:14):
talk after refusing to listenfor months. So yeah, I don't
know. I think it's one of thosethings where I guess you can
try.
Edgar (08:25):
Yeah.
Erika (08:26):
But you know, maybe the beginning is gonna change or it
can go back And then you justwasted three, four months again.
You know what mean? I don'tknow. It's just one of the
things where you take a gambleand see if it works if you give
a second try.
Edgar (08:38):
Yeah, I mean most relationships are just a gamble.
Erika (08:41):
Yeah. I mean like I said, I don't like saying divorce but
I mean it's hard to go back tomaking her family respect OP
when multiple times she allowedto do the opposite.
Edgar (08:58):
So your final verdict?
Erika (08:59):
I don't think he's an asshole.
Edgar (09:02):
Yeah, I don't think he's an asshole either.
Erika (09:04):
And I don't think he's overreacting either. The next
story is, Am I overreacting overthis notice my aunt's boyfriend
gave me? So they actually took apicture of a notice. And let me
tell you, that's chicken scratchright there. Let's try to follow
along.
Edgar here will post it in thelink. So it says on top with
(09:24):
bold letters notice. As ofSunday tomorrow, if you fail to
do any of the following chores,you will be getting kicked out
and go live in Republic. I don'tknow what that really means but.
Number one, wash dishes daily.
Number two, clean your bathroomonce a week. Number three, the
(09:45):
living room, hallway, your roomand your bathroom and the
kitchen will be vacuumed everyday. Number four, your laundry
will be done once a week. Numberfive, you're done eating in your
room besides a cup of wateryou're drinking. Number six, you
would do the yard work once aweek.
(10:06):
And then there was a note thatsays, aunt's boyfriend and aunt
shouldn't have to tell you to doanything. If we have to tell
you, then you got three strikesand you're out. So then he put a
little description after this.Today my aunt's boyfriend,
Daniel, gave me this note that Iwill be kicked out to go live
(10:27):
with my dad if I don't do abuttload of chores he has wrote
down for me. Some are reasonableas I'm living here without rent,
but the vacuum in the livingroom, kitchen, hallway and my
bathroom feels kind ofoutrageous along with cleaning
my bathroom once a week.
I would understand if it wassharing chores or something like
that, but my aunt and I are theonly ones who even do chores.
(10:50):
Daniel doesn't even rinse outhis cereal bowls or anything. I
also struggle with executivefunctions which I'm trying to
work on slowly but surely, anddoing some things without being
reminded. My dad really doesn'tthink anything is wrong, much of
it, but I don't know if I'mactually overreacting or not. My
dad advised me to show my poppyon Stan while Daniel gave me for
(11:14):
advice, but I don't know ifthat's a good idea because of
the way my aunt is.
Please help. Anything would benice.
Edgar (11:21):
So yeah, I think that OP is overreacting with the notice.
Because I guess, I mean, itdepends more on what's
happening. Like why is he livingat his uncles and aunts without
paying rent? Like, there like,is he doing work or he's just
doing nothing all day? Like, ifhe's doing nothing all day, not
working from home, then this is,like, more than reasonable to,
like, at least clean up aroundthe house and clean up after
(11:42):
himself.
Erika (11:42):
Well, I'm sure he goes to school and he's just staying
there rent free. So, you know, Idon't think it's unreasonable at
all. I think you should wash thedishes if you use them. If
you're using you use thebathroom, you have your own
private bathroom, it's kinda amust to, you know, clean it
(12:05):
every week. Yeah.
So I don't understand why hethinks this is crazy. Maybe he's
just not doing anything.
Edgar (12:14):
Probably, yeah.
Erika (12:16):
So the top comment is looking at your post history, I
think you want to look back atthose and do some self
reflecting. Your dogs werepissing inside the house and
they had to get rid of thembecause it seems like nothing
was done about it. There seemsto be other things that point
out some past with you in thatcleaning after yourself. This is
very minimal cleaning afteryourself. If this is a butler of
(12:38):
chores, you will hate to beabsolutely be destroyed living
on your own and having to takecare of your own place.
You are 18. This is notunreasonable. Going about the
note is a bit silly, but I feellike there's a backstory to this
that you are not sharing,especially with the aunt
shouldn't have to tell you to doanything sounds like considering
(13:00):
your post history and the wordchoices that in the past she has
asked you many times to cleanafter yourself and you have not.
Adding to this, the vacuumingcan be explained by the fact
that according to OP's othercomments, the two other dogs are
still around. If the dogs areleaving fur, it makes sense why
(13:21):
uncle and aunt might be tired ofbeing fur everywhere.
Also, be that they think OP issuch a slob that his idea to
vacuum is nowhere good enough.The only way for the place to be
decently clean is to get him todo it over and over again
because he is likely to do itnot likely to do it properly the
(13:44):
first time. I can say that Ihave had to do this with my kid
multiple times because his ideaof vacuuming is squidding it
around in the middle of the roomand the only way for it to be
not to be half assed is to makehim do it three times in a row.
Edgar (14:00):
Yeah. So he has receipts and it seems like he's just like
a slob in general and maybe notdoing anything at all. He has
dogs as well and he's just nottaking care of them either.
Yeah, that's what happens if youpost a lot on Reddit, like your
entire life story. People justfigure out things.
So yeah, think he's definitelyoverreacting and this is
(14:22):
probably like Justice Fudge.
Erika (14:24):
Yeah, he's not. He is definitely overreacting a %. I
think he's 18. This doesn't sayanything that he's going to
school because eighteen yearsgraduated from high school. So
he's not going to college andhe's just staying home doing
nothing.
So yes, he needs to pick up tohimself and stop being a slob.
Edgar (14:42):
Yeah, that's the least he can do.
Erika (14:44):
Yeah, exactly.
Edgar (14:46):
So definitely overreacting.
Erika (14:49):
100%.
Edgar (14:50):
The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not
Marrying the Girl My BrotherKnocked Up? I, 32 male, have a
bit of an issue. I have an olderbrother, Mark, thirty eight
male, and an older sister, Emma,thirty four female. I do not get
along with either of them for somany reasons, mostly because
(15:10):
they are toxic and are soentitled and their faces are
used in the Oxford Dictionaryunder the word entitlement. My
issue is with my brother.
When I was 16, I won an awardfor a writing contest at Summit
School. My father, now 59 male,is a man greedy with
compliments, praised me, andsaid that he was proud of me.
(15:31):
Something that I was rarelyhearing from him. My father said
in front of the whole family,including my older brother. By
that time, my brother hadalready graduated and had just
been kicked out of college forfailing too many classes,
disorderly conduct, and maxedout the credit card my father
had given to him.
My father was not pleased to saythe least. He only allowed my
(15:53):
brother to move back in with theagreement that my brother found
a job, paid rent, and startedlooking for community college or
an apartment. After threemonths, my brother hadn't done a
single thing he swore he would.My mother was, and still is, his
greatest enabler. I don't getalong with her either.
(16:13):
What is praise from my fatherenraged my brother and he did
the unthinkable in my book.Another piece of context, my
family is well off financially.Enter Amber. This girl was the
biggest thought, gold digger,and upset little person you
could find. I understand why sheclung to me like a barnacle to a
(16:36):
ship's hull.
Her family was definitely poor.She wandered out of that life
and into what she thought wasour perfect life. She would
constantly force her way into mygroup projects or my friend
group, hoping that I would fallfor her non existent charm. She
wasn't ugly, but she was a gradeA, not a nice person. Anyways,
shortly after my father praisedmy accomplishment, I was
(16:59):
assigned a group project andAmber found her way into my
group.
Shocker. The group as a wholedid not work at my house. At one
point, most of us decided to gofor some fast food while Amber
stayed behind. My brother washome along with the rest of my
family. When we came back, Inoticed that neither Amber nor
my brother were at the dinnertable.
(17:19):
I had their order, so I wentlooking for them. As I go past
my bedroom, I hear some verydistinctive sounds coming from
my room that has no businesscoming from it. If you guessed
that my brother, at the time 22,was doing things with my Amber
in my bed, then you'd be right.Those two were just doing things
(17:42):
in my bed. I screamed at them toget out and what are you doing
and what was wrong with them.
And, of course, this attractedeveryone's attention and
everyone came running, includingthe other people in my group
project. The fallout was awful.Oh, why did my brother do this?
He thought I had a crush onAmber and he wanted to steal her
(18:02):
from me. Sleeping with her in mybed was just a bonus to him.
All because I had gottenarrogant for my father's praise
and compliments. My fatherkicked him out and cut him off
financially. My mother tried toargue, but my father told her
that if she had an issue withthis one, she could pay for her
son's lifestyle with her ownmoney, which she did half as she
(18:26):
was a stay at home wife thatdepended on her husband for
money and security. Amber waspublicly shamed and I didn't
participate in it. I didn't evenspeak to anyone, except a
therapist, years afterwardsabout it.
Most of it was Amber's ownsister, that is a whole other
catapult of fish and I would notbe going into, or my friends. It
(18:46):
was later revealed that she hadgotten pregnant with my
brother's baby. A DNA testconfirmed this at birth. Her
parents tried to sue my brother,but in my part of the world,
Amber was 17, thus was of legalage. Now she was 17, unemployed,
unmarried, pregnant, and herbaby daddy had completely
disappeared.
(19:07):
Her reputation was ruined, herfuture was bleak at best, and
her parents were threatening tokick her out if she didn't find
a solution to her problems. Hersolutions? Why guilt trip and
gaslight me into marrying her ofcourse. Amber went to my mother
and father saying that it was myresponsibility to take care of
her and her baby all because Iwas the next head of the family
(19:28):
since my brother was disowned.My mother bought Amber's crap,
hook line, and sinker.
My father offered to help herfinancially so long as she
followed certain conditions, butshe wasn't going to marry me to
or force me to raise mybrother's son. That wasn't good
enough for Amber though or mymother. They began harassing me
(19:50):
with passive aggressive crappingremarks all the way until I
graduated, left my home state,and cut them off completely. Now
fourteen years later, I get acall saying that Amber lost
custody and that her son, mynephew, who is a dirty male, and
has had no one else to take careof him. My parents are fraud to
rob.
My brother is in jail. My sisterrefused to take in the child,
(20:12):
using profanities to describehim that had the social worker
place my sister on a no adoptionor foster list, and his maternal
side of the family disowned him.I didn't have all that much of a
relationship with my nephewprior to all of this. Mostly I
send him gifts and cards on hisbirthday, Christmas, and that's
(20:32):
it. I agreed to take him in.
When I picked him up, the poorboy was malnourished, dirty,
wore rags, and was covered inblack and blue bruises from head
to toe. When I asked the socialworker what had happened, she
told me that his mother, Amber,had abused him and treated him
like absolute trash for yearsuntil CPS finally managed to get
the poor child out of the house.I called my parents in a rage.
(20:55):
They were supporting Amberfinancially to take care of
their only grandson. They sawhim at every holiday, and they
must have known.
The child looked like he hadjust crawled out of Gaza. My
mother told me that it wouldnever have happened had I
married Amber like I wassupposed to.
Erika (21:11):
Please.
Edgar (21:11):
That my nephew's pain and suffering went tightly on my
shoulders for not doing theright thing. My father had
dementia and was in a nursinghome by this point, and I was
the one in charge of everything.I was the one in charge of
ensuring that Amber received theproper money to take care of my
nephew. I never came back home.I never visited or cared to know
my nephew because I wantednothing to do with Amber other
(21:34):
than doing what my father hadasked of me.
While I know that I am notresponsible for my nephew's
abuse and that I never raised ahand on him, I can't help but
feel as if I should have donemore and check up on Amber and
him since my father left me incharge of the estate. I don't
regret not marrying Amber, but Ido feel bad for the abuse my
(21:56):
nephew suffered. Most of myfamily, aside from my sister,
thinks I'm the asshole and havea share of the responsibility
and the abuse of my nephew fornot marrying Amber. So am I the
asshole? So before we go intothat, they said he won a writing
contest, but from reading this,it was like, I I would have
never have guessed.
Erika (22:17):
Wait. Where? What did I say?
Edgar (22:19):
In the very beginning of the story. But, yeah, I think,
yeah, this was not OP's fault atall. And he had like no
Erika (22:25):
Oh, I see it.
Edgar (22:26):
No real yeah.
Erika (22:28):
That was when he was 16.
Edgar (22:30):
Yeah. Apparently he never got better.
Erika (22:33):
Oh my gosh. Mhmm.
Edgar (22:35):
Yeah. Obi is not responsible for, like, a nephew.
Erika (22:38):
Absolutely not.
Edgar (22:39):
Like, I know, like, he's like, he cares now because he
has to take care of him. And I'msure he's gonna be, like, a a
decent enough dad. Like, atleast not hit him. But still,
yeah. I I think it's ridiculousfor them to have tried to force
him to marry Amber.
Erika (22:52):
Well, it's more like the mother because I I I guarantee
you she wanted to get revengefor kicking out the brother.
Edgar (22:57):
I know. He's like, oh, you you could have my favorite
son. I'm gonna punish yourfavorite son.
Erika (23:02):
Yeah. But I'm glad the the dad was able to support him
and you know didn't have tomarry Amber. And I don't blame
him for like cutting off ties.
Edgar (23:12):
Seemed like a messy situation. Yeah. Like
unnecessarily messy.
Erika (23:16):
And I just hate that people, family in general, think
that they have a say ineverything. And everybody
besides his sister actuallydoesn't support that. And
everybody else is like yeah youshould have married, this is
your fault. I don't think heshould feel guilty. It's not his
responsibility or his fault.
(23:37):
I mean, if the money was givento her, then if Amber didn't
choose it wisely and didn't, youknow
Edgar (23:42):
And like, what happened to the money? Like, his family
has like a lot of money. I don'timagine she got like little but
you know I think she got like agood like enough to basically
not have to work.
Erika (23:52):
Yeah and it's sad that the little kid was like
Edgar (23:54):
all that money for no reason.
Erika (23:56):
How old is he? He doesn't really say how
Edgar (23:57):
old The kid was 13. 13.
Erika (24:00):
Mean how with wearing rags and everything I think it's
really sad.
Edgar (24:04):
Yeah thirteen years at home. Well
Erika (24:07):
I'm glad he's not there anymore and the fact that the
brother is in jail now literallyserves him right. Don't know
what he did.
Edgar (24:14):
Yeah, probably like a psycho.
Erika (24:16):
At this point, yeah. I mean, they're both bad people.
Edgar (24:21):
Yeah, Amber and the brother.
Erika (24:23):
Yeah. What do you think? Do you think he should feel
guilty?
Edgar (24:27):
No, not at all. Like, he did the best he could do, given
all the information he knows.Now that he knows more
information, he's probably gonnastep up a little bit for the
nephew.
Erika (24:38):
Yeah, I feel like OP is a good person.
Edgar (24:41):
Yeah, As long as he doesn't even beat him.
Erika (24:44):
I don't think so.
Edgar (24:45):
It was just like it's a minimal thing and I'm pretty
sure the nephew's gonna be a lotmore happier.
Erika (24:49):
Yeah, I mean
Edgar (24:50):
they have the They
Erika (24:51):
have the means and I'm sure he's not gonna do that. So
the top comment is your momneeds to grow old and die alone.
Edgar (24:58):
I repeat.
Erika (25:00):
Because she has nothing to offer you but judgment and
pain. She's cruel to you, notthe asshole. Thank God that kid
got away. Damn that's a littlebit
Edgar (25:10):
crazy that was crazy
Erika (25:14):
but yeah I mean I'm glad that at least his life will be
looking up now and it's going tobe a better place than you know
the abusive mother.
Edgar (25:23):
Yeah, definitely. So final verdict?
Erika (25:27):
I would say that he is definitely not the asshole.
Edgar (25:31):
Definitely not, yeah.
Erika (25:32):
He left because he didn't want to take responsibility that
wasn't his And that's the besthe could have done. The next
story is My two month old diedbecause my mother-in-law, I
don't know what to do. I'mwriting this in hopes of finding
some clarity and peace because Ijust can't deal with this
anymore. I lost everything. At22 I've already faced
(25:56):
significant challenges in mylife.
My parents passed away when Iwas 11 in Tunisia after a boat
incident. They both drowned andI was being raised by my
parental grandparents. Mygrandma died when I was 18, just
leaving for university, and Ilost my grandpa last year after
he had a stroke. I've alreadygone through so much grief in my
(26:18):
life and it left me feelinglost, But marrying my husband,
who was 25, brought me some hopeand joy. We've been together for
three years, married for two,and together on October 2 we
were thrilled to welcome our soninto the world, and he quickly
became the center of our lives.
However, my relationship with mymother-in-law has been terrible
(26:40):
from the beginning. While Iappreciated her experience as a
mother, I often felt underminedand dismissed in my role. I've
tried to be open and patient,hoping she would respect my
parenting choices, but it hasn'talways been easy. Even when it
came to deciding what flowers Iwant for my wedding and how I
want my makeup done, she triedtaking control of absolutely
(27:04):
everything because I'm young andshe sees me as childish. One
thing I've been grateful for isafter I gave birth she always
was around to help me tidy thehouse and take care of my baby
boy, bathing, feeding, etc.
I've never been around childrenso I needed all the help I could
get. One day when mymother-in-law offered to help
(27:26):
with the baby, I was exhaustedand overwhelmed from meal
prepping for my husband so Ithought it would be okay to let
her take over for a littlewhile. Unfortunately, when I
returned back into the livingroom after my nap, I found her
pouring water into the bottlefor my son and my heart sank. I
had red leaflets that gaveinformation about infant care
(27:49):
and knew that giving water tosuch a young baby can be
dangerous. I confronted herimmediately, expressing my
concern but she brushed me off,insisting it was harmless and
that she fed all three of herboys water as babies, and I felt
a mix of anger and helplessness.
How could she dismiss my fearsso casually when she is a mom
herself? When I took the bottleaway and insisted on sticking on
(28:12):
to the breast milk and formulashe seemed irritated, as if I
were being overly cautious andthat in that moment I felt a
surge of rage at her audacityand her refusal to acknowledge
my authority as a mother. Justdays later I noticed my baby
wasn't acting like himself. Heseemed lethargic and
disinterested in feeding. Itried booking an appointment the
(28:35):
next two days, but I was toldthat there were no appointments
left.
After two days I woke up andfound my baby in his cot looking
pale and sort of blue color. I'mcrying as I'm writing this
because I just can't imagine howmuch pain he was in and he would
suffer silently. I picked him upand he was so floppy and cold so
I called the ambulance and dideverything the lady on the phone
(28:57):
said but he wasn't moving much,but he did have a heartbeat. I
called my husband from work tocome immediately to the hospital
and I also called mymother-in-law because they are
all I had. Everything changedwhen the doctor explained that
he had developed waterintoxication.
My heart raced as he describedhow giving water to my baby led
to hyponatremia, which is adangerous electrolyte imbalance
(29:21):
and is fatal. Hearing thosewords that my baby was gone was
the most crushing moment of mylife and I just wanted to hold
him and I wanted my husband tohug me but he wasn't here. The
doctors were asking me so manyquestions but everything was
blurred out and I just wanted myhusband and he to hold me. I
wish now that I could make mymother-in-law understand the way
(29:43):
of her actions, the consequencesof her dismissiveness but when
the doctor told me my baby waskilled all I could do was scream
and try not to hit mymother-in-law. She was saying
how water wasn't what killed mybaby and that he died because I
was careless and proudly shookhim.
The loss of my baby feelsinsurmountable and I find myself
questioning how to move forward.I am furious that she didn't
(30:07):
listen, that her arrogance costme my child. I don't even speak
to her. The hospital staffhelped me more than my own
husband and before anyone saysanything police were called but
I cannot explicitly speak aboutthat in more detail because of
the ongoing investigation. Myhusband tries to remain neutral
and he's often caught betweensupporting me and navigating his
(30:28):
relationship with his mother.
He was pissed about police beinginvolved and I understand he
wants to keep the peace, but thewhole reason I believe he is
gone is because of his mom. Ifear that this is creating a
rift between us and thatterrifies me even more, because
I only have him. Because he'sgrieving himself, I understand
why he's said some horriblethings to me, because I've done
(30:49):
some back to him, but the factthat he's trying to stay neutral
is what's hurting me so much. Ionly have him and he's all I
got, so I can't afford to leavehim. Each day is a struggle for
me.
I'm not even speaking to myhusband. We sleep in separate
rooms and I want nothing morethan to hold my baby again, to
feel that love and connectionthat now has been ripped away
(31:09):
from me. The anger I feeltowards my mother-in-law is a
bitter reminder of the love thatI lost. I don't know if I can
ever forgive my mother-in-law orif I ever want to. What I do
know is that my heart is heavywith sorrow and the Rora head
feels so dark.
I just want to remember my babyand find a way to honor his
short life. I miss you baby boy.Rest in peace my lovely Tommy G.
(31:32):
Clark.
Edgar (31:33):
Some people just suffer their entire life?
Erika (31:36):
I just I feel so my heart feels heavy. I just can't
imagine losing a baby. I mean, Ihave no children, but I I think
it's so sad. The devastationthat she's feeling right now is
undescribable. At this point, Idon't blame her for what she is
feeling because this is clearlysomething that happened because
(32:05):
of the mother-in-law.
Edgar (32:07):
Yeah. I feel like the mother-in-law did this on
purpose almost.
Erika (32:11):
Maybe. I mean, I don't know. But I just feel like she
completely dismissed her tellingher, you know, that's dangerous
and that shouldn't have beendone. But it's just one of those
things where you know you haveto be very careful who you leave
your child with and you know shetrusted the mother-in-law and
unfortunately it was the wrongcall. Mean I would trust my
(32:34):
mother-in-law too you know Imean it's just one of those
things where you just don't knowif it turns bad or not.
I think at some point she eitherlike I said, I think they need
therapy. I think they needhonestly, they really need
couples therapy. I don't thinkthey're gonna survive this.
Their husband and her they'realready having different views
(32:58):
and they're already seeing youknow she feels like he's hiding
with his mom by trying to stayneutral So she already feels a
disconnect that way. And thenher husband is just you know
grieving as well.
So it's just so much thingsgoing on at this point that I
don't think they will be able tomake this through or make it
through without some type ofhelp. And I think couples
(33:21):
therapy would be the best forthem so they could help with the
grieving and how to staytogether after all this. Because
it seems like she doesn't wantto break up with him or she
wants a divorce, nothing likethat. I think she needs her
husband. I think they need eachother.
But I think for now themother-in-law just needs to stay
(33:41):
away. She just needs to givethem space and try to, you know,
for them to replenish and to gettogether again and have a good
relationship. The mother-in-lawdefinitely caused a lot of
issues here. The top comment isyour spouse needs to not be
neutral. Mother's actions killedyour child.
(34:03):
He needs to pick a side for themoment your child died. Get your
anger in gear and if you can geta lawyer. OP did respond to
this. He won't pick a side. Hesaid he loves us both equally,
which is disgusting, but there'snot much I can do.
He supports us both financially.I don't work anymore and he's
the only person I have. I haveno family left in this country.
(34:26):
I was told with time he'llrealize the gravity of the
situation. So do you think thatit's good for him to stay
neutral?
Edgar (34:33):
In this circumstance, no, just because it seems very
obvious that the mother-in-lawis being careless. I think and
plus the fact that like his wifeis not taking it well and like
the mother-in-law like doesn'tcare. He just needs to have more
support behind his wife.
Erika (34:50):
Yeah I agree 100%. I think at this point in time the
wife needs more nurturing and heneeds to be there because
they're both you know on thesame page. They're both lost.
It's a big loss for them.
Edgar (35:04):
So it's making it like I feel like the calling the
police, even though like it'slike a logical next step, think
the OP should have probablydiscussed that with his husband
first just so it's, not asurprise and that she's, like,
something that has, like, on topof like, another pressure to put
on top of them during this time.But How do you feel about this,
(35:26):
though?
Erika (35:26):
I feel like he would have said no. And then she it would
have been even worse becausethen she would have gone against
his wishes. I I know. I I don'tknow. I feel like this is just
such a big deal.
Yeah. It's just such a big deal.It's a life was lost here. Mhmm.
A two month old died herebecause of some carelessness.
(35:47):
I wouldn't care what he wouldsay. I would still
Edgar (35:50):
call. And
Erika (35:53):
the fact that he continues to be so nonchalant
about it is just veryfrustrating. I could see why she
would want to get the policeinvolved because she wants some
justice for the baby. It wasn'tjust not negligence. It was
because she trusted themother-in-law to take care of
her baby, and she ended upkilling her, killing him. So
(36:15):
it's not something that shouldjust be taken lightly and the
fact that the husband doesn'treally understand the gravity of
the situation is just bafflingto me.
I guess everybody he's grievingright now, he doesn't understand
it but I hope in time in orderto save his marriage, he, you
know, comes into realizationhere.
Edgar (36:33):
So your final thoughts?
Erika (36:35):
I just hope that, you know, they get past this. I
think they very much love eachother, But, you know, it's just
grief and all, you know,misunderstandings and not being
on the same page really causes,you know, a lot of drifting
apart.
Edgar (36:50):
So the next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for
Denying My Sister's Lies inFront of Her In Laws? I am a 25
male and I have an older sister,Kate, thirty female. She and I
were never close due to our agedifference and because she hated
that our dad married my mom andhad me after divorcing her
mother. K claims dad told her henever loved her mother and that
(37:12):
my mom was his true love. Thather dad always compared the two
of us and asked her why she hasto be a difficult child and that
overall dad loved me more.
On the other hand, dad claimsnothing she says is true and
that she was very problematicand insolent. These claims are
backed up by my mother and dad'sparents, so I assume Kate was
never 100% honest. Anyways,these are their problems that do
(37:36):
not concern me. Some time ago,Kate reached out to me and told
me she had gotten engaged. Isaid congrats and everything,
and she told me she has a favorto ask.
She told me her mother-in-law isvery family oriented, and it
does not sit well with her thatKate is estranged from her
family. In her words, futuremother-in-law considered
(37:59):
something is also wrong withKate and she is also to blame
for being no contact with herfamily, fuming Kate will also
torrent her son to do the samething. What Kate wanted from me
was for me to meet her in lawsfor them to see she does not
hate her family. I joke thatfuture mother-in-law sounds a
little insane and I agreed tohelp her because at the end of
(38:21):
the day, I never hated her and Idon't think she hated me either.
The fact we are not close doesnot mean we hate each other or
want bad things to happen to oneanother.
Anyways, I went to meet Kate,her future husband, and her
mother-in-law and father-in-lawat a restaurant. They are very
nice people and very warm. Atsome point, mother-in-law says
(38:42):
something along the lines ofthat she is happy to see that
the abuse we suffered did notaffect our sisterly bond. I was
confused and asked what abuse isshe talking about while Kate
tried to change the subject.Mother-in-law says it's okay, I
have nothing to be ashamed ofand that she knows from Kate our
parents abused us while growingup.
I clarify that this is not true.We were never abused by our
(39:04):
parents or anyone in our family.We were raised in a very loving
family and we were never hit orspanked no matter what we did.
Our parents were well off, so wealways had everything that we
wanted, clothes, phones,laptops, cars, etc.
Mother-in-law got very, veryangry.
She apologized to me and startedinsulting my sister. She called
(39:27):
her a liar, accused her of beingmanipulative, and trying to
convince herself into theirfamily by being dishonest. What
happens is that Kate accused ourparents of many things that are
not true. Now Kate is accusingme of ruining her life. She says
her engagement is over, the inlaws hate her, and the fiance
does not trust her anymore.
(39:47):
The thing is, I don't think Idid anything wrong. I cannot sit
and hear people blasting myparents for her lies and for
things that never happened. Butstill, I'm on the asshole for
telling the truth. No. Yeah, notreally.
I mean, also, I feel like thisis the because since sisters
were never close, I feel likethis is more like a job that OP
(40:10):
was given, and her only job wasjust to play along. Because she
had to play along with hersister, basically lie with her
that they are actually closewhen they were not close at all.
So I feel like it's not a bighuge jump or a huge ass to say
oh keep lying to me towards theend of the night you know.
Because ultimately like theirmother-in-law, father-in-law, OP
(40:32):
sister, like the entire side ofthe family is never gonna meet
him again or meet her again. Ithink I can understand the OP
sister's frustration but yeahultimately too I can see how OP
is not really at fault by tryingto like reveal the truth.
Erika (40:46):
Honestly if she wanted her to lie then she should have
given her a heads up.
Edgar (40:51):
Yeah. Yeah. She should have given that at least. Like,
feel like that I feel like alsoOP was on autopilot that that
dinner. She probably heard thelie.
He's like, oh, no. No. That'snot that that didn't happen. And
then just, like, basicallyblasted the whole truth in of
dinner.
Erika (41:06):
Yeah I mean I think Kate was in the wrong ear. If she
should've if she knew she waslying to her in laws and her
soon to be husband not even ex.
Edgar (41:19):
He just exed.
Erika (41:20):
Yeah. Then she should have said, Hey, you know, I said
some lies to my in laws. Can youjust lie or can you just not
deny it? And if you're notcomfortable with it, then don't
come over or don't don't come tothe dinner, you know?
Edgar (41:38):
Yeah. I feel like this could have been handled a lot
better from Kate's part as well.
Erika (41:41):
Yeah. She should have been honest with her at least,
especially if she knew that shewas lying. Like, it's just
that's literally her fault.
Edgar (41:48):
Yeah I know exactly. I'm sure OP might have gone along
with it if she was given moreinformation.
Erika (41:53):
Yeah I mean you literally out of nowhere saying oh imagine
it's like your girlfriend oh nolet's say you were in her shoes
what would you do?
Edgar (42:01):
I I know the same thing. I think I feel like I would
still play along because I tookimprov classes once and you're
not when you're in an improvclass or like when you're in an
improv kind of situation youjust never say no. Just always
keep going.
Erika (42:16):
Yeah I remember seeing here and then just go with it
Edgar (42:20):
yeah just go with it basically
Erika (42:21):
no no the movie just go with it with Adam with Adam
Sandler and Jennifer Anistonwhen the little girl is taking
class. I don't know if you guyshave seen it but this is you
that's what literally the theimprov is to never say no. You
can't say no. But still, I thinkit's her fault for not
explaining it fully.
Edgar (42:42):
Yeah.
Erika (42:43):
In the situation. So the top comment is not the asshole.
Kate rolled the dice with a fakeself story and lost. I would
have done the same. Nobody getsto slander my parents just to
look good.
Sucks for her, but that's on herlies, not you.
Edgar (42:57):
Exactly.
Erika (42:58):
Yeah, I agree 100%.
Edgar (43:01):
Would you have done the same thing if like you had like
a strange sibling they said canyou come? Like imagine they were
Kate, but Kate did it the rightway. Like they came up to like
hey can you come to dinner toprove that I have a family?
Also, I said that everyone inour family besides us two were
close, and and everyone elsewas, like, like, abusive to us.
Would you ever gone to dinner?
Erika (43:20):
No. It seems like the parents were very kind, and they
had everything growing up.
Edgar (43:25):
You have a free food.
Erika (43:27):
No, absolutely not. I would not let my sibling, even
if we're stranded to like badlash my parents, especially if
they were good parents.
Edgar (43:36):
I
Erika (43:37):
don't, you know, it's just no.
Edgar (43:38):
I mean like the thing is, the thing about being estranged,
you guys never see each otherfor holidays.
Erika (43:43):
But still, I wouldn't go with it. I don't I it makes me
and and what if down the road itshow for some reason, they find
out it's not true? Then it wouldmake me a liar too. I just don't
like lying. I I'm not gonna liejust because somebody tells me
to.
I'm just gonna tell you thetruth.
Edgar (44:01):
I just consider it, like, dinner and it's just, like, a
favorite, but, like, also. Iguess it depends on the it
depends on the situation Iguess.
Erika (44:10):
Well I guess now people know that in order for you to
lie you have to give you food.
Edgar (44:15):
Always. You know how I love the food.
Erika (44:19):
Yes you do. But you know I think also you're like what
you feel like is right. Likewould you be okay lying like
that?
Edgar (44:27):
Yeah because I know the truth. Like I know what that's
like basically playing an Yeah
Erika (44:33):
but you're lying. I don't like to be dishonest regardless
if it's you know, something thatI'll never see them again. I
wouldn't do it.
Edgar (44:40):
So what's the final verdict?
Erika (44:42):
I don't think she's an asshole at all. I think if she
would have given moreinformation she wouldn't have
done, you know, that. Or wouldhave not gone and made her
suffer.
Edgar (44:52):
I say OP is the asshole actually because she had one
job. Had one job and she failed.She was fired from Kate's life
forever.
Erika (45:05):
Nah. I don't yeah. I mean, no. I think she Now
Edgar (45:09):
she now someone that she basically doesn't know at all,
her life is ruined.
Erika (45:14):
Well, she should have not asked her to lie and I give her
a heads up.
Edgar (45:18):
Yeah.
Erika (45:19):
The last story is, Emma the Asshole for not giving my
estranged father's wife themoney he sent me. My father
wasn't in my 21 female lifegrowing up. He left my mom and
me when I was two and refused topay child support. He quit his
job when he was tracked down forsupport and he spent time in
jail rather than paying.Eventually mom stopped fighting
(45:42):
because it was going nowhere.
She felt like it was wastingresources chasing after him when
it was obvious he was going toavoid it however he could. A
couple years ago, he moved outabout an hour away and I saw him
for the first time since a courtappearance when I was eight. We
didn't speak either of thosetimes, but it surprised me that
he came back. I found out he wasmarried and had more kids from
(46:05):
my paternal aunt. He reached outto her and wanted to reconnect
and she told him where to go.
She was always pretty disgustedhe walked away like he did and
refused to support mefinancially. In December my aunt
told me he went to her house andleft something for me there. I
asked her what it was and shehad no idea but she said it was
(46:25):
an envelope. I opened it and itwas a check and it was a big one
too.
Edgar (46:29):
$2.
Erika (46:31):
You're so funny, it's a big one. Two dollars? Enjoyed
giving it to my mom, but shetold me to keep it and he owed
me. That he abandoned me, andthat it was the least I
deserved. I tried telling hershe deserved it more, but she
wouldn't even entertain theidea.
So after confirming it was lit,I lodged it into my account.
(46:53):
Then his wife came looking forthe money by going to my aunt's
house for me. My aunt made herleave and I wasn't even there,
but she showed up a few dayslater when I was there and she
demanded the money. She said itwas money that was meant to go
on her kids. Crazy.
That he had no right to draintheir accounts for me. I told
(47:15):
her it wasn't my problem andthat my aunt threatened to call
the cops. She showed up at myaunt's house again a few days
after and my aunt followedthrough and called the cops. But
apparently this woman left themessage that I was selfish and
entitled and I stole it from herkids. Am I the asshole?
Edgar (47:33):
No. I think if anything, worst case, she picks her deaf.
What? Because that $3 can last awhile.
Erika (47:40):
You're so funny. No. Oh my gosh. I ugh. This is what
happens when people pickterrible, significant others.
I'm glad the father at least hadsome type of conscience that he
gave her the money that he neverdid when she was a child. I
(48:05):
think this is something that hedid finally a good thing. Yeah.
But the fact that the womancomes in there and tries to say,
oh, it's my money? Excuse me?
Oh my gosh. Mhmm. Theentitlement is crazy.
Edgar (48:18):
Yeah. I'm sure the check has, like, some information,
like, probably, like, oh, thisis to this person. You know?
That's typically what checkshave. So I think it would be
pretty easy to tell who thecheck was for at least or who
it's who it is and not intendedfor.
Erika (48:31):
Yeah. I mean, she definitely didn't steal
anything. Absolutely not.
Edgar (48:34):
Yeah. As for, like, if I wasn't in this situation,
wouldn't have given thetheatolos back.
Erika (48:41):
You're so funny. I mean, yeah, mean she deserves it. She
never got the support he couldgive her. Mean, I bet everybody
would rather have emotionalsupport having a father actually
there with them than the actualmoney. But at least money helps.
Edgar (48:57):
Yeah, money helps.
Erika (48:58):
So the top comment is you stole nothing. Her kids have
been supported by the all theirlives as she did not care
whether you were dead or aliveor if you had food to eat or
clothes to wear. That's all theback child support that Deadby
owes you, like your mom said.You are entitled to that money
and did not steal anything fromanyone. Keep calling the cops
(49:22):
every time she shows up.
She chose to marry and have kidswith a deadbeat who ghosted his
own child and left for nineteenyears. Karma has finally found
her address, not the asshole.
Edgar (49:33):
Exactly. Like, let the on show understand that the father
is trying to do, like,something. Right? Like, it maybe
doesn't, like, fix everythingbut it's like it just shows that
like I do care, I know I messedup, here you don't have to
forgive me.
Erika (49:48):
Yeah. I mean he finally did something right and I don't
think nobody should take it awayfrom her and she shouldn't feel
guilty about it either.
Edgar (49:56):
Yeah.
Erika (49:57):
Yeah. So that's my my my verdict. Do you think she's an
asshole?
Edgar (50:01):
Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. She's definitely not the asshole
for keeping money. Keeping to$4.
Erika (50:07):
Yeah. I mean, money helps and I'm glad she got some money.
Maybe she could go to college orwhatever.
Edgar (50:11):
Or buy something from the dollar menu.
Erika (50:13):
It's so crazy. Well, if I did something right, she could
pound sand. So that is all thestories we have today. Thank you
for tuning in into this week'sepisode. Check out our website
www.yappings.com and join ourmail list for updates.
If you love our podcast and wantto support us, subscribe and
(50:35):
share for your friends andfamily. We would appreciate it
so much.
Edgar (50:39):
Also, we started a Facebook group called Am I the
asshole relationship and familydrama linked in the description.
Join so you can share a Am I theasshole post you like or share
your own stories for a solidjudge. We may even read a few
posts in one of our episodes.
Erika (50:55):
Thank you. Bye.
Yapping!
Erika (00:03):
Hello, this is Erika
Edgar (00:04):
and Edgar
Erika (00:06):
and we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with the noteworthy stories wefind around the web. Today's
theme is Broken Boundaries.
Edgar (00:16):
The first story will be titled, Am I Overreacting for
Ending This With My Wife TodayBecause Her Family Keeps Barging
In? I, male thirty eight, leftmy wife, Kelly (a female thirty
eight) today. Five yearstogether, four married. I have
battered her lack of boundariesabout her family for the past
(00:38):
two years. I understand thatthey are very close knits, but
she never paid attention to howtheir dynamics affected our
relationship.
I experienced very not of familysituations. My food was eaten,
showing up uninvited, meddling,you name it. Nine months ago,
mother-in-law and father-in-lawbegan divorce proceedings. He
(01:02):
cheated, fell madly in love witha side chick with whom he'd
lived for the past fifteenyears, and he decided that he
wants to get remarried. Hekicked everyone out of the
house.
It was an emergency, so I agreedto help out. I regret it. I had
to take four people in, but theycouldn't think to avoid
constantly pissing me off. I gotsick of finding them using a
(01:26):
private bathroom. They hadcomplete access to the other
full bathroom by the hallway.
Sister-in-law started takingnaps on our bed, which is creepy
because a bed is too personal. Icame home late and we had to
wake her up and still waited forher to nap out of her groggy
state so that she could walkout. It lasted for three months,
but the problems persisted. Nomatter how many times I told my
(01:49):
wife and even told them, theystill showed up at random hours.
Even if I didn't run into them,I know she was allowing them to
come over.
I hated their presents. Theywould eat my snacks and get all
my expensive recliner chair,which again, they didn't
contribute a penny for. I had amini orchid that they picked
empty. Things got so tense thatI blew at her in front of them.
(02:15):
They left.
We had a fight and I ended upsleeping in a hotel. I warned
her many times about being fedup and needing her to support
me. She acted like I wasdemanding that she abandon her
family. Today, I came home tofind her brother's car blocking
the entrance, not on the sideand not even on the driveway,
just right in the middle wheremy only option would be to get
(02:36):
on the lawn. I go inside andhe's laying with his shoes on
the couch.
He gave me this fresh bow likehe's untouchable. I went to our
bedroom and packed as much of mybelunking as possible and
ignored her pleas to talk.There's nothing else to talk
about. I already called a fewlawyers but haven't received any
replies yet. She cried but atthis point I had no empathy.
(02:59):
I don't even know if I amoveracting or if I need to
discuss this in private. I feeldefeated and angry, and I also
hate her family with my soul.They knew they were hurting our
relationship and they didn'tcare. She knew that I'm a
private person who hates beinginvaded. I helped them because I
live here and I didn't have theballs to tell them to go sleep
(03:23):
in their car.
We don't have kids, but thereare so many things that would be
left undone. I loved her somuch, but I just can't. She
called me immediately after Ileft and I told her that my
decision is final. She soundedshaken, but I told her that
right now, I despise her andwould never be able to sleep
next to her again. Sorry for anytypos, I have a migraine right
(03:45):
now.
I'm just coming here because Ijust want to ask if leaving the
way I did was an asshole movemaybe I should have announced my
intentions of ending ourmarriage after her brother was
gone. What do you think?
Erika (03:57):
No, I think he just came to the end of the line now. I
think he's fed up abouteverything. The lack of privacy,
the lack of- Respect. Irrespect,exactly.
Edgar (04:09):
And
Erika (04:09):
he you know, he blew up. And I mean, what did she expect?
She did not side with him. Shedid not try to understand him.
She tried not to offer him asolace because you know, your
home is a solace.
It's something that's you, youand hers. Know, somewhere where
(04:30):
you could be peace and do yourown thing and have, you know, a
private relationship, especiallyif he's a private person.
Edgar (04:36):
Yeah.
Erika (04:37):
And the fact that the family didn't let them have that
relationship instead of, youknow, maybe calling ahead or
saying, Hey, can we stop bytoday? Then just coming in
thinking, you know, they paidthe bills and they lived there
too. Was crazy to me.
Edgar (04:50):
Yeah, think, yeah, OP was definitely nice to, like, have
them, like, stay at his placewhile they are, like, get
situated. But they definitelytook advantage of the situation
and they just made it worse forOP and his now ex wife or
fiance. I mean,
Erika (05:05):
I think
Edgar (05:05):
Like if they were respectful, it would have been
nice for them, you know?
Erika (05:11):
I mean, course. Yeah, they would have respected OP and
the wife, then this wouldn'thave gone this far. I think also
OP's wife let this go on too farand too long and didn't put them
in their place. I mean,especially if my hubby or my
boyfriend told me, Hey, I'mfeeling uncomfortable or I need
(05:31):
some space or I need somethingto change, I would respect that.
I wouldn't just block him andsaying, Oh, you're making me
choose between my family andyou.
And that's literallymanipulation right there.
Edgar (05:45):
You feel like it's kind of divorced for events?
Erika (05:50):
Yeah.
Edgar (05:51):
Because OP's wife would have tried to fix it at this
point and you think they couldhave reconciled that way?
Erika (05:59):
No, I think he gave her a lot of chances to talk. He tried
to speak with him and he put upwith a lot. And the fact that
she, with her response to sayingthat, you know, making her
choose between him and hisfamily is ridiculous. He
literally shot him down fortrying to speak to her. So I
(06:20):
don't I don't think it'sunreasonable for him trying to
get a divorce.
I mean, now, she's saying shewants to talk, but there's no
guarantee that she's gonnalisten.
Edgar (06:28):
Yeah. This could be fixed by just, like, having the family
not allowed in the houseanymore. Like, like, I I know OP
does not want to see his wifeanymore currently. He's just
sick of her. But it's not herthat's causing all these issues,
it's the family.
So to have the family out of thepicture even for a little bit
could give them a chance to comeback together and try to
(06:51):
rebuild, like, whatever is leftof the relationship.
Erika (06:54):
But I don't think that's gonna help because the family's
gonna do it again. So let's saythey stop coming in for a little
while.
Edgar (07:01):
No. Like, just change the locks and just make sure they
don't come.
Erika (07:05):
Yeah, but what if she continues to continue what if
she continues to allow it?
Edgar (07:11):
Well, at that point then you can leave, but until then,
we just like have it so likethey're hard not allowed back,
and just build it from there andsee if it's just like the family
that he's sick of or it wasactually her that she's sick of?
I mean, OP is sick of.
Erika (07:27):
I don't know. I think she had a chance, many chances to
speak with him because Iguarantee you he has spoken to
her about it. And the fact thattheir family feels so
comfortable of going inside,blocking the entrance, leaving
their shoes on on the couch andlaying on him and giving him a
smirk is because time and timeand time again, they've seen how
(07:50):
much the wife has put them firstand has not allowed them to give
him that respect that hedeserves. I don't know. I think
if you don't have respect inyour relationship and you allow
other people, especially yourfamily, disrespect your spouse
or your boyfriend or yourgirlfriend.
I don't think it's ever gonnawork regardless of how much you
want to. So yeah, the topcomment is she only wanted to
(08:14):
talk after refusing to listenfor months. So yeah, I don't
know. I think it's one of thosethings where I guess you can
try.
Edgar (08:25):
Yeah.
Erika (08:26):
But you know, maybe the beginning is gonna change or it
can go back And then you justwasted three, four months again.
You know what mean? I don'tknow. It's just one of the
things where you take a gambleand see if it works if you give
a second try.
Edgar (08:38):
Yeah, I mean most relationships are just a gamble.
Erika (08:41):
Yeah. I mean like I said, I don't like saying divorce but
I mean it's hard to go back tomaking her family respect OP
when multiple times she allowedto do the opposite.
Edgar (08:58):
So your final verdict?
Erika (08:59):
I don't think he's an asshole.
Edgar (09:02):
Yeah, I don't think he's an asshole either.
Erika (09:04):
And I don't think he's overreacting either. The next
story is, Am I overreacting overthis notice my aunt's boyfriend
gave me? So they actually took apicture of a notice. And let me
tell you, that's chicken scratchright there. Let's try to follow
along.
Edgar here will post it in thelink. So it says on top with
(09:24):
bold letters notice. As ofSunday tomorrow, if you fail to
do any of the following chores,you will be getting kicked out
and go live in Republic. I don'tknow what that really means but.
Number one, wash dishes daily.
Number two, clean your bathroomonce a week. Number three, the
(09:45):
living room, hallway, your roomand your bathroom and the
kitchen will be vacuumed everyday. Number four, your laundry
will be done once a week. Numberfive, you're done eating in your
room besides a cup of wateryou're drinking. Number six, you
would do the yard work once aweek.
(10:06):
And then there was a note thatsays, aunt's boyfriend and aunt
shouldn't have to tell you to doanything. If we have to tell
you, then you got three strikesand you're out. So then he put a
little description after this.Today my aunt's boyfriend,
Daniel, gave me this note that Iwill be kicked out to go live
(10:27):
with my dad if I don't do abuttload of chores he has wrote
down for me. Some are reasonableas I'm living here without rent,
but the vacuum in the livingroom, kitchen, hallway and my
bathroom feels kind ofoutrageous along with cleaning
my bathroom once a week.
I would understand if it wassharing chores or something like
that, but my aunt and I are theonly ones who even do chores.
(10:50):
Daniel doesn't even rinse outhis cereal bowls or anything. I
also struggle with executivefunctions which I'm trying to
work on slowly but surely, anddoing some things without being
reminded. My dad really doesn'tthink anything is wrong, much of
it, but I don't know if I'mactually overreacting or not. My
dad advised me to show my poppyon Stan while Daniel gave me for
(11:14):
advice, but I don't know ifthat's a good idea because of
the way my aunt is.
Please help. Anything would benice.
Edgar (11:21):
So yeah, I think that OP is overreacting with the notice.
Because I guess, I mean, itdepends more on what's
happening. Like why is he livingat his uncles and aunts without
paying rent? Like, there like,is he doing work or he's just
doing nothing all day? Like, ifhe's doing nothing all day, not
working from home, then this is,like, more than reasonable to,
like, at least clean up aroundthe house and clean up after
(11:42):
himself.
Erika (11:42):
Well, I'm sure he goes to school and he's just staying
there rent free. So, you know, Idon't think it's unreasonable at
all. I think you should wash thedishes if you use them. If
you're using you use thebathroom, you have your own
private bathroom, it's kinda amust to, you know, clean it
(12:05):
every week. Yeah.
So I don't understand why hethinks this is crazy. Maybe he's
just not doing anything.
Edgar (12:14):
Probably, yeah.
Erika (12:16):
So the top comment is looking at your post history, I
think you want to look back atthose and do some self
reflecting. Your dogs werepissing inside the house and
they had to get rid of thembecause it seems like nothing
was done about it. There seemsto be other things that point
out some past with you in thatcleaning after yourself. This is
very minimal cleaning afteryourself. If this is a butler of
(12:38):
chores, you will hate to beabsolutely be destroyed living
on your own and having to takecare of your own place.
You are 18. This is notunreasonable. Going about the
note is a bit silly, but I feellike there's a backstory to this
that you are not sharing,especially with the aunt
shouldn't have to tell you to doanything sounds like considering
(13:00):
your post history and the wordchoices that in the past she has
asked you many times to cleanafter yourself and you have not.
Adding to this, the vacuumingcan be explained by the fact
that according to OP's othercomments, the two other dogs are
still around. If the dogs areleaving fur, it makes sense why
(13:21):
uncle and aunt might be tired ofbeing fur everywhere.
Also, be that they think OP issuch a slob that his idea to
vacuum is nowhere good enough.The only way for the place to be
decently clean is to get him todo it over and over again
because he is likely to do itnot likely to do it properly the
(13:44):
first time. I can say that Ihave had to do this with my kid
multiple times because his ideaof vacuuming is squidding it
around in the middle of the roomand the only way for it to be
not to be half assed is to makehim do it three times in a row.
Edgar (14:00):
Yeah. So he has receipts and it seems like he's just like
a slob in general and maybe notdoing anything at all. He has
dogs as well and he's just nottaking care of them either.
Yeah, that's what happens if youpost a lot on Reddit, like your
entire life story. People justfigure out things.
So yeah, think he's definitelyoverreacting and this is
(14:22):
probably like Justice Fudge.
Erika (14:24):
Yeah, he's not. He is definitely overreacting a %. I
think he's 18. This doesn't sayanything that he's going to
school because eighteen yearsgraduated from high school. So
he's not going to college andhe's just staying home doing
nothing.
So yes, he needs to pick up tohimself and stop being a slob.
Edgar (14:42):
Yeah, that's the least he can do.
Erika (14:44):
Yeah, exactly.
Edgar (14:46):
So definitely overreacting.
Erika (14:49):
100%.
Edgar (14:50):
The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not
Marrying the Girl My BrotherKnocked Up? I, 32 male, have a
bit of an issue. I have an olderbrother, Mark, thirty eight
male, and an older sister, Emma,thirty four female. I do not get
along with either of them for somany reasons, mostly because
(15:10):
they are toxic and are soentitled and their faces are
used in the Oxford Dictionaryunder the word entitlement. My
issue is with my brother.
When I was 16, I won an awardfor a writing contest at Summit
School. My father, now 59 male,is a man greedy with
compliments, praised me, andsaid that he was proud of me.
(15:31):
Something that I was rarelyhearing from him. My father said
in front of the whole family,including my older brother. By
that time, my brother hadalready graduated and had just
been kicked out of college forfailing too many classes,
disorderly conduct, and maxedout the credit card my father
had given to him.
My father was not pleased to saythe least. He only allowed my
(15:53):
brother to move back in with theagreement that my brother found
a job, paid rent, and startedlooking for community college or
an apartment. After threemonths, my brother hadn't done a
single thing he swore he would.My mother was, and still is, his
greatest enabler. I don't getalong with her either.
(16:13):
What is praise from my fatherenraged my brother and he did
the unthinkable in my book.Another piece of context, my
family is well off financially.Enter Amber. This girl was the
biggest thought, gold digger,and upset little person you
could find. I understand why sheclung to me like a barnacle to a
(16:36):
ship's hull.
Her family was definitely poor.She wandered out of that life
and into what she thought wasour perfect life. She would
constantly force her way into mygroup projects or my friend
group, hoping that I would fallfor her non existent charm. She
wasn't ugly, but she was a gradeA, not a nice person. Anyways,
shortly after my father praisedmy accomplishment, I was
(16:59):
assigned a group project andAmber found her way into my
group.
Shocker. The group as a wholedid not work at my house. At one
point, most of us decided to gofor some fast food while Amber
stayed behind. My brother washome along with the rest of my
family. When we came back, Inoticed that neither Amber nor
my brother were at the dinnertable.
(17:19):
I had their order, so I wentlooking for them. As I go past
my bedroom, I hear some verydistinctive sounds coming from
my room that has no businesscoming from it. If you guessed
that my brother, at the time 22,was doing things with my Amber
in my bed, then you'd be right.Those two were just doing things
(17:42):
in my bed. I screamed at them toget out and what are you doing
and what was wrong with them.
And, of course, this attractedeveryone's attention and
everyone came running, includingthe other people in my group
project. The fallout was awful.Oh, why did my brother do this?
He thought I had a crush onAmber and he wanted to steal her
(18:02):
from me. Sleeping with her in mybed was just a bonus to him.
All because I had gottenarrogant for my father's praise
and compliments. My fatherkicked him out and cut him off
financially. My mother tried toargue, but my father told her
that if she had an issue withthis one, she could pay for her
son's lifestyle with her ownmoney, which she did half as she
(18:26):
was a stay at home wife thatdepended on her husband for
money and security. Amber waspublicly shamed and I didn't
participate in it. I didn't evenspeak to anyone, except a
therapist, years afterwardsabout it.
Most of it was Amber's ownsister, that is a whole other
catapult of fish and I would notbe going into, or my friends. It
(18:46):
was later revealed that she hadgotten pregnant with my
brother's baby. A DNA testconfirmed this at birth. Her
parents tried to sue my brother,but in my part of the world,
Amber was 17, thus was of legalage. Now she was 17, unemployed,
unmarried, pregnant, and herbaby daddy had completely
disappeared.
(19:07):
Her reputation was ruined, herfuture was bleak at best, and
her parents were threatening tokick her out if she didn't find
a solution to her problems. Hersolutions? Why guilt trip and
gaslight me into marrying her ofcourse. Amber went to my mother
and father saying that it was myresponsibility to take care of
her and her baby all because Iwas the next head of the family
(19:28):
since my brother was disowned.My mother bought Amber's crap,
hook line, and sinker.
My father offered to help herfinancially so long as she
followed certain conditions, butshe wasn't going to marry me to
or force me to raise mybrother's son. That wasn't good
enough for Amber though or mymother. They began harassing me
(19:50):
with passive aggressive crappingremarks all the way until I
graduated, left my home state,and cut them off completely. Now
fourteen years later, I get acall saying that Amber lost
custody and that her son, mynephew, who is a dirty male, and
has had no one else to take careof him. My parents are fraud to
rob.
My brother is in jail. My sisterrefused to take in the child,
(20:12):
using profanities to describehim that had the social worker
place my sister on a no adoptionor foster list, and his maternal
side of the family disowned him.I didn't have all that much of a
relationship with my nephewprior to all of this. Mostly I
send him gifts and cards on hisbirthday, Christmas, and that's
(20:32):
it. I agreed to take him in.
When I picked him up, the poorboy was malnourished, dirty,
wore rags, and was covered inblack and blue bruises from head
to toe. When I asked the socialworker what had happened, she
told me that his mother, Amber,had abused him and treated him
like absolute trash for yearsuntil CPS finally managed to get
the poor child out of the house.I called my parents in a rage.
(20:55):
They were supporting Amberfinancially to take care of
their only grandson. They sawhim at every holiday, and they
must have known.
The child looked like he hadjust crawled out of Gaza. My
mother told me that it wouldnever have happened had I
married Amber like I wassupposed to.
Erika (21:11):
Please.
Edgar (21:11):
That my nephew's pain and suffering went tightly on my
shoulders for not doing theright thing. My father had
dementia and was in a nursinghome by this point, and I was
the one in charge of everything.I was the one in charge of
ensuring that Amber received theproper money to take care of my
nephew. I never came back home.I never visited or cared to know
my nephew because I wantednothing to do with Amber other
(21:34):
than doing what my father hadasked of me.
While I know that I am notresponsible for my nephew's
abuse and that I never raised ahand on him, I can't help but
feel as if I should have donemore and check up on Amber and
him since my father left me incharge of the estate. I don't
regret not marrying Amber, but Ido feel bad for the abuse my
(21:56):
nephew suffered. Most of myfamily, aside from my sister,
thinks I'm the asshole and havea share of the responsibility
and the abuse of my nephew fornot marrying Amber. So am I the
asshole? So before we go intothat, they said he won a writing
contest, but from reading this,it was like, I I would have
never have guessed.
Erika (22:17):
Wait. Where? What did I say?
Edgar (22:19):
In the very beginning of the story. But, yeah, I think,
yeah, this was not OP's fault atall. And he had like no
Erika (22:25):
Oh, I see it.
Edgar (22:26):
No real yeah.
Erika (22:28):
That was when he was 16.
Edgar (22:30):
Yeah. Apparently he never got better.
Erika (22:33):
Oh my gosh. Mhmm.
Edgar (22:35):
Yeah. Obi is not responsible for, like, a nephew.
Erika (22:38):
Absolutely not.
Edgar (22:39):
Like, I know, like, he's like, he cares now because he
has to take care of him. And I'msure he's gonna be, like, a a
decent enough dad. Like, atleast not hit him. But still,
yeah. I I think it's ridiculousfor them to have tried to force
him to marry Amber.
Erika (22:52):
Well, it's more like the mother because I I I guarantee
you she wanted to get revengefor kicking out the brother.
Edgar (22:57):
I know. He's like, oh, you you could have my favorite
son. I'm gonna punish yourfavorite son.
Erika (23:02):
Yeah. But I'm glad the the dad was able to support him
and you know didn't have tomarry Amber. And I don't blame
him for like cutting off ties.
Edgar (23:12):
Seemed like a messy situation. Yeah. Like
unnecessarily messy.
Erika (23:16):
And I just hate that people, family in general, think
that they have a say ineverything. And everybody
besides his sister actuallydoesn't support that. And
everybody else is like yeah youshould have married, this is
your fault. I don't think heshould feel guilty. It's not his
responsibility or his fault.
(23:37):
I mean, if the money was givento her, then if Amber didn't
choose it wisely and didn't, youknow
Edgar (23:42):
And like, what happened to the money? Like, his family
has like a lot of money. I don'timagine she got like little but
you know I think she got like agood like enough to basically
not have to work.
Erika (23:52):
Yeah and it's sad that the little kid was like
Edgar (23:54):
all that money for no reason.
Erika (23:56):
How old is he? He doesn't really say how
Edgar (23:57):
old The kid was 13. 13.
Erika (24:00):
Mean how with wearing rags and everything I think it's
really sad.
Edgar (24:04):
Yeah thirteen years at home. Well
Erika (24:07):
I'm glad he's not there anymore and the fact that the
brother is in jail now literallyserves him right. Don't know
what he did.
Edgar (24:14):
Yeah, probably like a psycho.
Erika (24:16):
At this point, yeah. I mean, they're both bad people.
Edgar (24:21):
Yeah, Amber and the brother.
Erika (24:23):
Yeah. What do you think? Do you think he should feel
guilty?
Edgar (24:27):
No, not at all. Like, he did the best he could do, given
all the information he knows.Now that he knows more
information, he's probably gonnastep up a little bit for the
nephew.
Erika (24:38):
Yeah, I feel like OP is a good person.
Edgar (24:41):
Yeah, As long as he doesn't even beat him.
Erika (24:44):
I don't think so.
Edgar (24:45):
It was just like it's a minimal thing and I'm pretty
sure the nephew's gonna be a lotmore happier.
Erika (24:49):
Yeah, I mean
Edgar (24:50):
they have the They
Erika (24:51):
have the means and I'm sure he's not gonna do that. So
the top comment is your momneeds to grow old and die alone.
Edgar (24:58):
I repeat.
Erika (25:00):
Because she has nothing to offer you but judgment and
pain. She's cruel to you, notthe asshole. Thank God that kid
got away. Damn that's a littlebit
Edgar (25:10):
crazy that was crazy
Erika (25:14):
but yeah I mean I'm glad that at least his life will be
looking up now and it's going tobe a better place than you know
the abusive mother.
Edgar (25:23):
Yeah, definitely. So final verdict?
Erika (25:27):
I would say that he is definitely not the asshole.
Edgar (25:31):
Definitely not, yeah.
Erika (25:32):
He left because he didn't want to take responsibility that
wasn't his And that's the besthe could have done. The next
story is My two month old diedbecause my mother-in-law, I
don't know what to do. I'mwriting this in hopes of finding
some clarity and peace because Ijust can't deal with this
anymore. I lost everything. At22 I've already faced
(25:56):
significant challenges in mylife.
My parents passed away when Iwas 11 in Tunisia after a boat
incident. They both drowned andI was being raised by my
parental grandparents. Mygrandma died when I was 18, just
leaving for university, and Ilost my grandpa last year after
he had a stroke. I've alreadygone through so much grief in my
(26:18):
life and it left me feelinglost, But marrying my husband,
who was 25, brought me some hopeand joy. We've been together for
three years, married for two,and together on October 2 we
were thrilled to welcome our soninto the world, and he quickly
became the center of our lives.
However, my relationship with mymother-in-law has been terrible
(26:40):
from the beginning. While Iappreciated her experience as a
mother, I often felt underminedand dismissed in my role. I've
tried to be open and patient,hoping she would respect my
parenting choices, but it hasn'talways been easy. Even when it
came to deciding what flowers Iwant for my wedding and how I
want my makeup done, she triedtaking control of absolutely
(27:04):
everything because I'm young andshe sees me as childish. One
thing I've been grateful for isafter I gave birth she always
was around to help me tidy thehouse and take care of my baby
boy, bathing, feeding, etc.
I've never been around childrenso I needed all the help I could
get. One day when mymother-in-law offered to help
(27:26):
with the baby, I was exhaustedand overwhelmed from meal
prepping for my husband so Ithought it would be okay to let
her take over for a littlewhile. Unfortunately, when I
returned back into the livingroom after my nap, I found her
pouring water into the bottlefor my son and my heart sank. I
had red leaflets that gaveinformation about infant care
(27:49):
and knew that giving water tosuch a young baby can be
dangerous. I confronted herimmediately, expressing my
concern but she brushed me off,insisting it was harmless and
that she fed all three of herboys water as babies, and I felt
a mix of anger and helplessness.
How could she dismiss my fearsso casually when she is a mom
herself? When I took the bottleaway and insisted on sticking on
(28:12):
to the breast milk and formulashe seemed irritated, as if I
were being overly cautious andthat in that moment I felt a
surge of rage at her audacityand her refusal to acknowledge
my authority as a mother. Justdays later I noticed my baby
wasn't acting like himself. Heseemed lethargic and
disinterested in feeding. Itried booking an appointment the
(28:35):
next two days, but I was toldthat there were no appointments
left.
After two days I woke up andfound my baby in his cot looking
pale and sort of blue color. I'mcrying as I'm writing this
because I just can't imagine howmuch pain he was in and he would
suffer silently. I picked him upand he was so floppy and cold so
I called the ambulance and dideverything the lady on the phone
(28:57):
said but he wasn't moving much,but he did have a heartbeat. I
called my husband from work tocome immediately to the hospital
and I also called mymother-in-law because they are
all I had. Everything changedwhen the doctor explained that
he had developed waterintoxication.
My heart raced as he describedhow giving water to my baby led
to hyponatremia, which is adangerous electrolyte imbalance
(29:21):
and is fatal. Hearing thosewords that my baby was gone was
the most crushing moment of mylife and I just wanted to hold
him and I wanted my husband tohug me but he wasn't here. The
doctors were asking me so manyquestions but everything was
blurred out and I just wanted myhusband and he to hold me. I
wish now that I could make mymother-in-law understand the way
(29:43):
of her actions, the consequencesof her dismissiveness but when
the doctor told me my baby waskilled all I could do was scream
and try not to hit mymother-in-law. She was saying
how water wasn't what killed mybaby and that he died because I
was careless and proudly shookhim.
The loss of my baby feelsinsurmountable and I find myself
questioning how to move forward.I am furious that she didn't
(30:07):
listen, that her arrogance costme my child. I don't even speak
to her. The hospital staffhelped me more than my own
husband and before anyone saysanything police were called but
I cannot explicitly speak aboutthat in more detail because of
the ongoing investigation. Myhusband tries to remain neutral
and he's often caught betweensupporting me and navigating his
(30:28):
relationship with his mother.
He was pissed about police beinginvolved and I understand he
wants to keep the peace, but thewhole reason I believe he is
gone is because of his mom. Ifear that this is creating a
rift between us and thatterrifies me even more, because
I only have him. Because he'sgrieving himself, I understand
why he's said some horriblethings to me, because I've done
(30:49):
some back to him, but the factthat he's trying to stay neutral
is what's hurting me so much. Ionly have him and he's all I
got, so I can't afford to leavehim. Each day is a struggle for
me.
I'm not even speaking to myhusband. We sleep in separate
rooms and I want nothing morethan to hold my baby again, to
feel that love and connectionthat now has been ripped away
(31:09):
from me. The anger I feeltowards my mother-in-law is a
bitter reminder of the love thatI lost. I don't know if I can
ever forgive my mother-in-law orif I ever want to. What I do
know is that my heart is heavywith sorrow and the Rora head
feels so dark.
I just want to remember my babyand find a way to honor his
short life. I miss you baby boy.Rest in peace my lovely Tommy G.
(31:32):
Clark.
Edgar (31:33):
Some people just suffer their entire life?
Erika (31:36):
I just I feel so my heart feels heavy. I just can't
imagine losing a baby. I mean, Ihave no children, but I I think
it's so sad. The devastationthat she's feeling right now is
undescribable. At this point, Idon't blame her for what she is
feeling because this is clearlysomething that happened because
(32:05):
of the mother-in-law.
Edgar (32:07):
Yeah. I feel like the mother-in-law did this on
purpose almost.
Erika (32:11):
Maybe. I mean, I don't know. But I just feel like she
completely dismissed her tellingher, you know, that's dangerous
and that shouldn't have beendone. But it's just one of those
things where you know you haveto be very careful who you leave
your child with and you know shetrusted the mother-in-law and
unfortunately it was the wrongcall. Mean I would trust my
(32:34):
mother-in-law too you know Imean it's just one of those
things where you just don't knowif it turns bad or not.
I think at some point she eitherlike I said, I think they need
therapy. I think they needhonestly, they really need
couples therapy. I don't thinkthey're gonna survive this.
Their husband and her they'realready having different views
(32:58):
and they're already seeing youknow she feels like he's hiding
with his mom by trying to stayneutral So she already feels a
disconnect that way. And thenher husband is just you know
grieving as well.
So it's just so much thingsgoing on at this point that I
don't think they will be able tomake this through or make it
through without some type ofhelp. And I think couples
(33:21):
therapy would be the best forthem so they could help with the
grieving and how to staytogether after all this. Because
it seems like she doesn't wantto break up with him or she
wants a divorce, nothing likethat. I think she needs her
husband. I think they need eachother.
But I think for now themother-in-law just needs to stay
(33:41):
away. She just needs to givethem space and try to, you know,
for them to replenish and to gettogether again and have a good
relationship. The mother-in-lawdefinitely caused a lot of
issues here. The top comment isyour spouse needs to not be
neutral. Mother's actions killedyour child.
(34:03):
He needs to pick a side for themoment your child died. Get your
anger in gear and if you can geta lawyer. OP did respond to
this. He won't pick a side. Hesaid he loves us both equally,
which is disgusting, but there'snot much I can do.
He supports us both financially.I don't work anymore and he's
the only person I have. I haveno family left in this country.
(34:26):
I was told with time he'llrealize the gravity of the
situation. So do you think thatit's good for him to stay
neutral?
Edgar (34:33):
In this circumstance, no, just because it seems very
obvious that the mother-in-lawis being careless. I think and
plus the fact that like his wifeis not taking it well and like
the mother-in-law like doesn'tcare. He just needs to have more
support behind his wife.
Erika (34:50):
Yeah I agree 100%. I think at this point in time the
wife needs more nurturing and heneeds to be there because
they're both you know on thesame page. They're both lost.
It's a big loss for them.
Edgar (35:04):
So it's making it like I feel like the calling the
police, even though like it'slike a logical next step, think
the OP should have probablydiscussed that with his husband
first just so it's, not asurprise and that she's, like,
something that has, like, on topof like, another pressure to put
on top of them during this time.But How do you feel about this,
(35:26):
though?
Erika (35:26):
I feel like he would have said no. And then she it would
have been even worse becausethen she would have gone against
his wishes. I I know. I I don'tknow. I feel like this is just
such a big deal.
Yeah. It's just such a big deal.It's a life was lost here. Mhmm.
A two month old died herebecause of some carelessness.
(35:47):
I wouldn't care what he wouldsay. I would still
Edgar (35:50):
call. And
Erika (35:53):
the fact that he continues to be so nonchalant
about it is just veryfrustrating. I could see why she
would want to get the policeinvolved because she wants some
justice for the baby. It wasn'tjust not negligence. It was
because she trusted themother-in-law to take care of
her baby, and she ended upkilling her, killing him. So
(36:15):
it's not something that shouldjust be taken lightly and the
fact that the husband doesn'treally understand the gravity of
the situation is just bafflingto me.
I guess everybody he's grievingright now, he doesn't understand
it but I hope in time in orderto save his marriage, he, you
know, comes into realizationhere.
Edgar (36:33):
So your final thoughts?
Erika (36:35):
I just hope that, you know, they get past this. I
think they very much love eachother, But, you know, it's just
grief and all, you know,misunderstandings and not being
on the same page really causes,you know, a lot of drifting
apart.
Edgar (36:50):
So the next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for
Denying My Sister's Lies inFront of Her In Laws? I am a 25
male and I have an older sister,Kate, thirty female. She and I
were never close due to our agedifference and because she hated
that our dad married my mom andhad me after divorcing her
mother. K claims dad told her henever loved her mother and that
(37:12):
my mom was his true love. Thather dad always compared the two
of us and asked her why she hasto be a difficult child and that
overall dad loved me more.
On the other hand, dad claimsnothing she says is true and
that she was very problematicand insolent. These claims are
backed up by my mother and dad'sparents, so I assume Kate was
never 100% honest. Anyways,these are their problems that do
(37:36):
not concern me. Some time ago,Kate reached out to me and told
me she had gotten engaged. Isaid congrats and everything,
and she told me she has a favorto ask.
She told me her mother-in-law isvery family oriented, and it
does not sit well with her thatKate is estranged from her
family. In her words, futuremother-in-law considered
(37:59):
something is also wrong withKate and she is also to blame
for being no contact with herfamily, fuming Kate will also
torrent her son to do the samething. What Kate wanted from me
was for me to meet her in lawsfor them to see she does not
hate her family. I joke thatfuture mother-in-law sounds a
little insane and I agreed tohelp her because at the end of
(38:21):
the day, I never hated her and Idon't think she hated me either.
The fact we are not close doesnot mean we hate each other or
want bad things to happen to oneanother.
Anyways, I went to meet Kate,her future husband, and her
mother-in-law and father-in-lawat a restaurant. They are very
nice people and very warm. Atsome point, mother-in-law says
(38:42):
something along the lines ofthat she is happy to see that
the abuse we suffered did notaffect our sisterly bond. I was
confused and asked what abuse isshe talking about while Kate
tried to change the subject.Mother-in-law says it's okay, I
have nothing to be ashamed ofand that she knows from Kate our
parents abused us while growingup.
I clarify that this is not true.We were never abused by our
(39:04):
parents or anyone in our family.We were raised in a very loving
family and we were never hit orspanked no matter what we did.
Our parents were well off, so wealways had everything that we
wanted, clothes, phones,laptops, cars, etc.
Mother-in-law got very, veryangry.
She apologized to me and startedinsulting my sister. She called
(39:27):
her a liar, accused her of beingmanipulative, and trying to
convince herself into theirfamily by being dishonest. What
happens is that Kate accused ourparents of many things that are
not true. Now Kate is accusingme of ruining her life. She says
her engagement is over, the inlaws hate her, and the fiance
does not trust her anymore.
(39:47):
The thing is, I don't think Idid anything wrong. I cannot sit
and hear people blasting myparents for her lies and for
things that never happened. Butstill, I'm on the asshole for
telling the truth. No. Yeah, notreally.
I mean, also, I feel like thisis the because since sisters
were never close, I feel likethis is more like a job that OP
(40:10):
was given, and her only job wasjust to play along. Because she
had to play along with hersister, basically lie with her
that they are actually closewhen they were not close at all.
So I feel like it's not a bighuge jump or a huge ass to say
oh keep lying to me towards theend of the night you know.
Because ultimately like theirmother-in-law, father-in-law, OP
(40:32):
sister, like the entire side ofthe family is never gonna meet
him again or meet her again. Ithink I can understand the OP
sister's frustration but yeahultimately too I can see how OP
is not really at fault by tryingto like reveal the truth.
Erika (40:46):
Honestly if she wanted her to lie then she should have
given her a heads up.
Edgar (40:51):
Yeah. Yeah. She should have given that at least. Like,
feel like that I feel like alsoOP was on autopilot that that
dinner. She probably heard thelie.
He's like, oh, no. No. That'snot that that didn't happen. And
then just, like, basicallyblasted the whole truth in of
dinner.
Erika (41:06):
Yeah I mean I think Kate was in the wrong ear. If she
should've if she knew she waslying to her in laws and her
soon to be husband not even ex.
Edgar (41:19):
He just exed.
Erika (41:20):
Yeah. Then she should have said, Hey, you know, I said
some lies to my in laws. Can youjust lie or can you just not
deny it? And if you're notcomfortable with it, then don't
come over or don't don't come tothe dinner, you know?
Edgar (41:38):
Yeah. I feel like this could have been handled a lot
better from Kate's part as well.
Erika (41:41):
Yeah. She should have been honest with her at least,
especially if she knew that shewas lying. Like, it's just
that's literally her fault.
Edgar (41:48):
Yeah I know exactly. I'm sure OP might have gone along
with it if she was given moreinformation.
Erika (41:53):
Yeah I mean you literally out of nowhere saying oh imagine
it's like your girlfriend oh nolet's say you were in her shoes
what would you do?
Edgar (42:01):
I I know the same thing. I think I feel like I would
still play along because I tookimprov classes once and you're
not when you're in an improvclass or like when you're in an
improv kind of situation youjust never say no. Just always
keep going.
Erika (42:16):
Yeah I remember seeing here and then just go with it
Edgar (42:20):
yeah just go with it basically
Erika (42:21):
no no the movie just go with it with Adam with Adam
Sandler and Jennifer Anistonwhen the little girl is taking
class. I don't know if you guyshave seen it but this is you
that's what literally the theimprov is to never say no. You
can't say no. But still, I thinkit's her fault for not
explaining it fully.
Edgar (42:42):
Yeah.
Erika (42:43):
In the situation. So the top comment is not the asshole.
Kate rolled the dice with a fakeself story and lost. I would
have done the same. Nobody getsto slander my parents just to
look good.
Sucks for her, but that's on herlies, not you.
Edgar (42:57):
Exactly.
Erika (42:58):
Yeah, I agree 100%.
Edgar (43:01):
Would you have done the same thing if like you had like
a strange sibling they said canyou come? Like imagine they were
Kate, but Kate did it the rightway. Like they came up to like
hey can you come to dinner toprove that I have a family?
Also, I said that everyone inour family besides us two were
close, and and everyone elsewas, like, like, abusive to us.
Would you ever gone to dinner?
Erika (43:20):
No. It seems like the parents were very kind, and they
had everything growing up.
Edgar (43:25):
You have a free food.
Erika (43:27):
No, absolutely not. I would not let my sibling, even
if we're stranded to like badlash my parents, especially if
they were good parents.
Edgar (43:36):
I
Erika (43:37):
don't, you know, it's just no.
Edgar (43:38):
I mean like the thing is, the thing about being estranged,
you guys never see each otherfor holidays.
Erika (43:43):
But still, I wouldn't go with it. I don't I it makes me
and and what if down the road itshow for some reason, they find
out it's not true? Then it wouldmake me a liar too. I just don't
like lying. I I'm not gonna liejust because somebody tells me
to.
I'm just gonna tell you thetruth.
Edgar (44:01):
I just consider it, like, dinner and it's just, like, a
favorite, but, like, also. Iguess it depends on the it
depends on the situation Iguess.
Erika (44:10):
Well I guess now people know that in order for you to
lie you have to give you food.
Edgar (44:15):
Always. You know how I love the food.
Erika (44:19):
Yes you do. But you know I think also you're like what
you feel like is right. Likewould you be okay lying like
that?
Edgar (44:27):
Yeah because I know the truth. Like I know what that's
like basically playing an Yeah
Erika (44:33):
but you're lying. I don't like to be dishonest regardless
if it's you know, something thatI'll never see them again. I
wouldn't do it.
Edgar (44:40):
So what's the final verdict?
Erika (44:42):
I don't think she's an asshole at all. I think if she
would have given moreinformation she wouldn't have
done, you know, that. Or wouldhave not gone and made her
suffer.
Edgar (44:52):
I say OP is the asshole actually because she had one
job. Had one job and she failed.She was fired from Kate's life
forever.
Erika (45:05):
Nah. I don't yeah. I mean, no. I think she Now
Edgar (45:09):
she now someone that she basically doesn't know at all,
her life is ruined.
Erika (45:14):
Well, she should have not asked her to lie and I give her
a heads up.
Edgar (45:18):
Yeah.
Erika (45:19):
The last story is, Emma the Asshole for not giving my
estranged father's wife themoney he sent me. My father
wasn't in my 21 female lifegrowing up. He left my mom and
me when I was two and refused topay child support. He quit his
job when he was tracked down forsupport and he spent time in
jail rather than paying.Eventually mom stopped fighting
(45:42):
because it was going nowhere.
She felt like it was wastingresources chasing after him when
it was obvious he was going toavoid it however he could. A
couple years ago, he moved outabout an hour away and I saw him
for the first time since a courtappearance when I was eight. We
didn't speak either of thosetimes, but it surprised me that
he came back. I found out he wasmarried and had more kids from
(46:05):
my paternal aunt. He reached outto her and wanted to reconnect
and she told him where to go.
She was always pretty disgustedhe walked away like he did and
refused to support mefinancially. In December my aunt
told me he went to her house andleft something for me there. I
asked her what it was and shehad no idea but she said it was
(46:25):
an envelope. I opened it and itwas a check and it was a big one
too.
Edgar (46:29):
$2.
Erika (46:31):
You're so funny, it's a big one. Two dollars? Enjoyed
giving it to my mom, but shetold me to keep it and he owed
me. That he abandoned me, andthat it was the least I
deserved. I tried telling hershe deserved it more, but she
wouldn't even entertain theidea.
So after confirming it was lit,I lodged it into my account.
(46:53):
Then his wife came looking forthe money by going to my aunt's
house for me. My aunt made herleave and I wasn't even there,
but she showed up a few dayslater when I was there and she
demanded the money. She said itwas money that was meant to go
on her kids. Crazy.
That he had no right to draintheir accounts for me. I told
(47:15):
her it wasn't my problem andthat my aunt threatened to call
the cops. She showed up at myaunt's house again a few days
after and my aunt followedthrough and called the cops. But
apparently this woman left themessage that I was selfish and
entitled and I stole it from herkids. Am I the asshole?
Edgar (47:33):
No. I think if anything, worst case, she picks her deaf.
What? Because that $3 can last awhile.
Erika (47:40):
You're so funny. No. Oh my gosh. I ugh. This is what
happens when people pickterrible, significant others.
I'm glad the father at least hadsome type of conscience that he
gave her the money that he neverdid when she was a child. I
(48:05):
think this is something that hedid finally a good thing. Yeah.
But the fact that the womancomes in there and tries to say,
oh, it's my money? Excuse me?
Oh my gosh. Mhmm. Theentitlement is crazy.
Edgar (48:18):
Yeah. I'm sure the check has, like, some information,
like, probably, like, oh, thisis to this person. You know?
That's typically what checkshave. So I think it would be
pretty easy to tell who thecheck was for at least or who
it's who it is and not intendedfor.
Erika (48:31):
Yeah. I mean, she definitely didn't steal
anything. Absolutely not.
Edgar (48:34):
Yeah. As for, like, if I wasn't in this situation,
wouldn't have given thetheatolos back.
Erika (48:41):
You're so funny. I mean, yeah, mean she deserves it. She
never got the support he couldgive her. Mean, I bet everybody
would rather have emotionalsupport having a father actually
there with them than the actualmoney. But at least money helps.
Edgar (48:57):
Yeah, money helps.
Erika (48:58):
So the top comment is you stole nothing. Her kids have
been supported by the all theirlives as she did not care
whether you were dead or aliveor if you had food to eat or
clothes to wear. That's all theback child support that Deadby
owes you, like your mom said.You are entitled to that money
and did not steal anything fromanyone. Keep calling the cops
(49:22):
every time she shows up.
She chose to marry and have kidswith a deadbeat who ghosted his
own child and left for nineteenyears. Karma has finally found
her address, not the asshole.
Edgar (49:33):
Exactly. Like, let the on show understand that the father
is trying to do, like,something. Right? Like, it maybe
doesn't, like, fix everythingbut it's like it just shows that
like I do care, I know I messedup, here you don't have to
forgive me.
Erika (49:48):
Yeah. I mean he finally did something right and I don't
think nobody should take it awayfrom her and she shouldn't feel
guilty about it either.
Edgar (49:56):
Yeah.
Erika (49:57):
Yeah. So that's my my my verdict. Do you think she's an
asshole?
Edgar (50:01):
Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. She's definitely not the asshole
for keeping money. Keeping to$4.
Erika (50:07):
Yeah. I mean, money helps and I'm glad she got some money.
Maybe she could go to college orwhatever.
Edgar (50:11):
Or buy something from the dollar menu.
Erika (50:13):
It's so crazy. Well, if I did something right, she could
pound sand. So that is all thestories we have today. Thank you
for tuning in into this week'sepisode. Check out our website
www.yappings.com and join ourmail list for updates.
If you love our podcast and wantto support us, subscribe and
(50:35):
share for your friends andfamily. We would appreciate it
so much.
Edgar (50:39):
Also, we started a Facebook group called Am I the
asshole relationship and familydrama linked in the description.
Join so you can share a Am I theasshole post you like or share
your own stories for a solidjudge. We may even read a few
posts in one of our episodes.
Erika (50:55):
Thank you. Bye.
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