Episode 22: Say Yes to the Mess - Reddit Stories That'll Make You Say "I Don't" - Yapping Schnauzers

Episode Transcript
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Intro (00:00):
Yapping!

Erika (00:02):
Hello. This is Erika.

Edgar (00:04):
Edgar.

Paulina (00:05):
And Paulina. And we are

Erika (00:07):
the Yapping Schnauzers We entertain you with the
yap-worthy stories we findaround the web. Today's theme is
wedding disasters part threeprobably. And the first story is
Emma the asshole for refusing tolet my brother's fiance wear my
late mother's wedding dress. I30 female lost my mom five years
ago.

(00:27):
Before she passed away, she gaveme her wedding dress. She told
me she wanted me to have it,whether I choose to wear it at
my own wedding, repurpose it orkeep it as a memory of her. It's
one of the most sentimentalthings I own. My older brother,
Jake, thirty three male isgetting married in a few months
to his fiancee, Laura, twentynine female. We have a good

(00:51):
relationship, but we're notsuper close.
Last week, Laura asked if wecould meet up for a coffee and
that's when she dropped thebombshell. She told me she had
always dreamed of wearing ameaningful dress when she got
married and thought it would beso special if she could wear my
mom's wedding dress. She said itwould be a beautiful way to
honor my mom at the wedding. Iwas completely caught off guard.

(01:15):
I told her that while Iappreciated her sentiment, my
mom gave the dress to me and itwas very personal.
I wasn't comfortable lettingsomeone else wear it especially
because I still might want touse it in some way on my own
wedding day. Laura immediatelygot upset and said I was being
selfish. She told me it wasn'tfair because she never got to

(01:36):
meet my mom and this would be away for her to feel connected to
her. She also said my mom wouldhave wanted her to wear it since
she's joining the family. Istood my ground and told her no.
I suggested she find another wayto incorporate my mom's memory,
maybe by wearing a piece of mymom's jewelry or a pair of her
shoes. But Laura said thatwasn't the same. Now my brother

(01:57):
is involved and he told me Ishould reconsider because it
would mean a lot to Laura. Hesaid I was being unnecessarily
difficult over just a dress.Even some of my relatives were
saying I should think about thebigger picture and how it would
be a touching tribute.
I felt guilty, but at the sametime, this dress means the world
to me. So read it. Am I theasshole for refusing to let her

(02:20):
wear it? What do guys think?

Edgar (02:22):
I say it's like a little bit difficult because Laura,
like OP's sister-in-law andherself can wear the dress, like
she said, at different times.But maybe that's like not ideal
because I don't really feel tooclose to like any any clothing
or dress. So that doesn't matterto me, but I don't know how she
sees it from her perspective.

Paulina (02:42):
I think I actually like both sides. I like that the
bride wants to honor the motherwho is no longer with them here.
So I liked that she actuallywent and had a conversation with
her and asked about, you know,if she was willing to do that.
And also that Laura is, youknow, was thinking about it.

(03:05):
However, it's Laura's dress is,it's something that it belongs
to her, that her mother gavethat to her.
And, you know, don't, as much asI like the sister in law's idea,
it's up to Laura to decide ifshe lets her wear the dressing
or not. It belongs to her. Andunfortunately, the brother

(03:28):
shouldn't even be involved. Heshould let them-

Erika (03:30):
Deal with it.

Paulina (03:31):
Deal with it. And hopefully this doesn't turn out
to be a huge problem in thefuture because it, you know, she
said just at the beginning thatshe's not even close to them. So
I'm not really sure what's goingon either. It's up to Laura's
decision to,

Erika (03:51):
Decide whether

Paulina (03:51):
or not.

Erika (03:52):
Decide, yeah. I think it's just one of those things
where, who really told her aboutthe stress? It must have been
the brother.

Edgar (03:59):
There was no

Erika (03:59):
way she could have found out this on her own. So it's
more like the brother wanted tosave some money. And this is
just me making assumptionsbecause he said, hey, my mom has
a wedding dress that my sisterhas, and maybe you should ask
her to give it to you so youcould wear it for the wedding.
Now, I liked your idea thatmaybe both of them can wear it.

(04:22):
However, when you have a weddingdress, you get it tailored for
your body.
And I guarantee you, theyprobably don't have the same
body.

Edgar (04:29):
Yeah.

Erika (04:29):
So it's, you know, money and you know, still money and
it's like one of those thingswhere, you know, if you want to
keep your wedding dress afterbeing tailored to you, you don't
want to give it away orsometimes maybe you do because
you want to donate it but ifit's sentimental value like she
has it now, it's one of thosethings where, you know, it's
just not easy to be like, yeah,here you go. Because it means to

(04:50):
you. It's not just the clothing.It's about the thing that she
has left of her mom and that sheonce wore. It's the sentimental
value.
It's not the clothing itself.Yeah.

Edgar (04:59):
But she can still wear it afterwards. Yeah.

Erika (05:04):
I don't know.

Paulina (05:05):
I and also when you wear a wedding dress, it's also
it's a unique sentiment. Like itjust, but for example, so for my
situation, I got my weddingdress, love my wedding dress and
I kept it for a long, long timeuntil I decided that I wanted to

(05:25):
have my wedding dress to give itto someone that really will love
it and need it. And, and sothat's exactly what I did. I
gifted my wedding dress to oneof my, it was my cousin's wife,
well, now wife. And so she wasso thankful and so grateful that

(05:47):
I was able to give that to heras a present for her wedding
because now my husband now havebeen married for a long time.
So now she felt like it'ssomething special for her and
it's going to it's going to be ablessing for her marriage and
and it's going to last a longtime because of, you know, how
our relationship is with myhusband. So, you know, that's

(06:10):
different. But every dress isjust unique to you. And it just,
most people don't want to givethem give them away, they want
to keep them forever. And it'sus.
That's understandable. But, youknow, there's like me, I decided
to give it to someone else thatI know it was going to be

(06:31):
beautiful and she's going to shewas going to look great. And she
did. Her wedding was amazing andshe looked stunning.

Erika (06:37):
Yeah, I think it would be different. Like, for example, if
you were to have a girl, like ifyou had a little girl, you
weren't giving away, you wouldgive it to your daughter. And
it's still sentimental. At leastthat's how I would see it. If I
was to have a wedding dress, Iwould keep it and give it down
to my daughter.
But you have two sons, so whatare gonna Yeah, I can't really
do that. So it's just one ofthose things, you But

Edgar (06:58):
also the wedding dress can go to like just all the
matriarchs in the family. Likeit doesn't just have to be like
from daughter to daughter todaughter. It could just be like
all the women in, like, that'sjoining the the family. Because
at the end of the day, like,it's still getting passed within
the family, and it still gets I

Paulina (07:15):
do like the idea of keeping it in the family. Like,
for my dress, it's still in thefamily. I don't know. She has
two beautiful daughters. Somaybe who knows?
But not, you know, sometimesthat doesn't happen. But, you
know, it's up to the bride, theto the side or to the whoever
owns the dress to decide whatthey want to do with the dress.

(07:38):
Know, I don't think no one elseYeah. Yeah, it's her choice. I
don't think no one else has todecide for her what to do with
her, especially knowing that itwas from her mother.

Edgar (07:47):
Yeah, agreed.

Erika (07:48):
Yeah, so I think at the end of the day, if she wants to
use it for her wedding, sheshould.

Edgar (07:52):
But is it worth like having all that drama within the
family? Like between a brother,sister-in-law?

Erika (08:00):
I mean, it's I mean, it's just it's just not just a dress.
And the fact that the brothersaid it's just a dress, it's
not. It's it's very frustratingbecause I I understand males
think about it intellectually orwhatever, but it's this is
sentimental value. And there'sno price. There is no drama.
There's nothing like that thatmatters enough for you to give

(08:23):
it up, especially if she wantsto use it for her wedding day.
Just because he's gettingmarried first doesn't mean that
he has the rights to have thewedding dress.

Paulina (08:31):
I also think this is a good opportunity for them three
to sit down and have aconversation heart to heart and
just discuss, you know, youknow, and Laura let them know
how she feels and have themunderstand that she doesn't want
to have this to be a big deal.And then this is a beautiful
event that's going to happen intheir lives. And so she wants to

(08:52):
help them, but also understandthat, you know, that's her
personal feelings and it's her.And if whatever that she can do
to help, to get another dress orto do whatever, this is the time
to just be together as a familysince the mom is no longer
there. And hopefully just cometogether as one family now and

(09:13):
they can deal with all thesethings now instead of having
them fostering in the future.

Erika (09:20):
Yeah. I mean, she did give her options about wearing
her mom's jewelry and a pair ofshoes, but she still refused. So
it's just one of those thingswhere you're like, okay, what
else do you want? She's tryingto compromise a certain way too,
but she still doesn't want that.Alright.
And then the top comment is notthe asshole. If it were just a

(09:43):
dress like your brother says,your future sister-in-law
wouldn't make such a big dealout of your refusal. This is
your dress to wear someday ornot, but it is your special
connection, not hers. Exactly.So at the end of the day, think
it's really it's her choice, andI don't think she should feel
like she's the asshole forrefusing.

Edgar (10:04):
This is a totally her choice and it's like no
obligation to say yes or no andshe shouldn't feel you. That
way.

Erika (10:09):
You agree, Polina?

Paulina (10:10):
I totally agree.

Edgar (10:12):
The final verdict on that? Not the asshole?

Erika (10:14):
No. No, she's not the asshole.

Edgar (10:17):
No. The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for
Refusing to Go to My Sister'sWedding After Finding Out Only
Our Side of the Family We'reHaving to Pay to Attend. So my
younger sister Katie, twentyeight female, and her partner
Chris, twenty nine, are gettingmarried in April in Dubai. She

(10:38):
has always wanted an extravagantwedding and is going all out on
this. So the wedding ishappening over four days.
There are 70 guests, but theywant us, me, my husband, and
parents, to stay in the samehotel with them along with her
bridesmaids and groomsmen. Thehotel is pretty luxe so with
flights it's still costing usjust over €2,900 each. Chris's

(11:03):
family are also staying in thehotel, which includes his
parents, two brothers, and hisnephew. They are well off. I
don't know exactly how much theyearn combined, but I know Katie
is on 88 k, and she is belowlowest earner.
But about six months ago, Chrisand Katie came to us and asked
to borrow 17 k more. Theystressed it would be on a loan

(11:26):
paid over time and said thevenue had increased the price.
Dubai law was different, blahblah blah. They paid this money
or they lost a lot. We believedthem, and I offered to loan them
7 k and my parents the other 10k.
So long story short, I havesince found out through someone
else that the 70 k wasn't forthe venue. It was for Chris'

(11:48):
family to fly over there. Theysaw how much it was going to be,
didn't want him to pay, andrefused to go. I asked Katie,
and she confirmed. So my firstquestion was, if they were
paying for his parents, why notpay for hours?
I would never expect them to payfor me even if we couldn't
afford it. I have wished themwell and stayed at home. And her

(12:08):
answer was, Because they canafford it. She got very
defensive and said that this wasthe fairest way she could think
of doing it. It's hard enoughplanning a wedding but when I
asked, If you genuinely thoughtthis was the fairest way to do
it, why did you lie about whatthe 17 ks was for and say it was
a venue issue?
She couldn't answer. My parentsare aware and are very

(12:30):
disappointed that they lied, buthave said they're still
attending, but I have backedout. To me it feels like my
parents have been takenadvantage and if they couldn't
afford to pay for both ours andChris's parents, and his
brother, and the nephew, thenthey shouldn't have just paid
for the four parents or no oneelse at all. And they especially
shouldn't have lied about it.Katie and Chris keep calling and

(12:54):
asking me to attend, seeing I'mmaking them feel bad and ruining
their day, but the whole thingjust feels icky to me.
I'm generally an open book, soam I being an asshole over here?
Should I just suck it up and go?

Erika (13:10):
I think this is hard. I think he should just go because
at the end of the day if hissister wants him to be there he
should be there for herregardless of how messy it is to
get there. I

Paulina (13:24):
mean, I

Erika (13:26):
don't know but I think she's still in the wrong though
for lying and saying that youknow it was for the venue but it
was only for the other, for thehusbands.

Edgar (13:35):
And this is like UK money. UK money is like, even
though it's not as much asAmerican money, it's still a lot
for them. They make maybe likehalf as much as we make, and so
17 ks is basically double herethan it is for us. But I think
in general this wedding is justtoo expensive in the first
place. I feel like barely anyonecan really afford it.

(13:57):
That's why the parents can't goin naturally and they didn't
want to go because it was tooexpensive and I think four days
is excessive.

Erika (14:04):
Weddings in Dubai are always expensive. Even the
flight there is expensive.

Edgar (14:08):
Well like it's too excessive for what it is. Like
four days is that's just like

Erika (14:12):
Four days?

Edgar (14:13):
Yeah it's a four day wedding.

Erika (14:15):
That's insane.

Edgar (14:16):
Like no one needs that much celebration or I think it

Erika (14:18):
all depends on the culture too. We can't rule that
out.

Edgar (14:21):
The culture is bad if they have to celebrate for four
days.

Erika (14:24):
No, think everybody's entitled to have their own
culture however you need to keepin mind

Edgar (14:29):
some people's cultures are like they eat people.

Erika (14:34):
But I'm talking

Edgar (14:34):
about the I was saying in general. Culture is meant to be
not subjective, objective forme.

Erika (14:44):
Dude, I'm talking about weddings.

Edgar (14:45):
What do

Erika (14:46):
know about eating people?

Edgar (14:48):
I'm just saying. All the cultures are not equal. If
there's a culture where you haveto celebrate your wedding over
four days, I do not want be apart of that culture.

Erika (15:00):
You're so funny. I think

Paulina (15:04):
I feel bad for the poor parents of Katie. Like, what is
she's what is she's thinking?And the and the and the and her
partner. A wedding is a wedding.I understand.
But speaking with truth, it'sthe best thing you can do. Even
if it hurts, even if it whateverthey're think, but when you tell

(15:28):
the truth, you know, thingsprobably worked out in a
different way for her and and noone would have been hurt. No one
would have been in a situationthan than they are right now. I
agree with Erica either way Ishould attend the wedding, but
I'll be with a sad face or upsetface because and that's not fair

(15:50):
to me for, you know, for thedecision that Katie wanted to
and the partner wanted to makeand not telling the truth, you
know, and then that's just,that's too bad that they don't,
that she was not up front withher family and tell her about
what the what she was gonna usethe money for. And and also to

(16:12):
just have a wedding that's gonnabe very expensive that not even
the other parents couldn't evenafford.
And they were they already toldher, no, we're not going.

Erika (16:21):
Mhmm.

Paulina (16:21):
You know? What about doing foreign races? What about
doing other things that shecould have the family help? You
know, if they truly want them tobe part of it, then they should
help to be, you know,participate to to help to

Erika (16:34):
be To get that money.

Paulina (16:35):
Yeah. To get the money. So there there are all I feel
that there are other ways thatshe could she could have got the
money instead of just gettingthe money and and lying about
it.

Edgar (16:46):
Exactly. It's just like a lot and then yeah. Definitely,
like, taking advantage of, like,the situation. Like, The parents
can't afford it and like wellthe other parents that did pay
it, this is basically half theiryear of pay and they're just
going to this. Meanwhile theother family is they're supposed
to be more well off but theydidn't want to pay for it.

Paulina (17:03):
Yeah. That's just terrible.

Edgar (17:06):
I think it starts the family off in a bad foot.
Approval for them.

Erika (17:09):
I I think there should be some compromises here but
clearly some people just don'twant to make it.

Edgar (17:15):
Would you guys have paid off your own parents if they
were in a situation like theygot taken advantage of like
this?

Erika (17:21):
I love what OP said though. He said maybe just pay
off the parents tickets andthat's it. So the mom and dad of
the bride and mom and dad fromthe husband.

Edgar (17:32):
Yeah because that's why I didn't remember for the
engagement for us we paid foreverything. Paid for all our
parents, like their hotel andthen also their tickets to go to
the spa. Because like that wasfair and I wanted them to be
there. So like that's likethat's the fairest way and it
just shows that I want thesepeople there like for like
definitely.

Erika (17:53):
Yeah. No. Really I really love that, babe. We did good.
Mhmm.
Yeah.

Paulina (17:56):
I think that's that's fair and that's understandable.
But what she did was not it'snot the whole family, I'm sorry.
We she if she needed she shewanted to invite the whole
family, then she needs to workand she needs to pay for that.
No one else needs to pay forsomeone's, you know, for
someone's flight. If they wantedto go, they wanted to go.

(18:17):
If she wanted to have them togo, then she needed to work out
a deal with them.

Edgar (18:21):
Yeah.

Erika (18:22):
Yeah, I agree. I don't think she is I don't think he's
the asshole for not wanting toattend, but I think he should
still go just to support hissister. You know what I mean?
Mhmm.

Paulina (18:35):
Yeah. I agree. It's just that I'd be very upset.

Erika (18:41):
I agree.

Edgar (18:42):
Be a Sour Patch.

Paulina (18:43):
Unfortunately, I'd the Sour Patch.

Edgar (18:47):
Yeah, the top comment is not the asshole, yet one of the
many reasons why I dislikedestination weddings. They're
the penultimate egocentricevents.

Erika (18:58):
Yeah, it's just one of those things where it's like you
really have to think about whowill be able to make and who
won't. Yeah, and you

Paulina (19:04):
know I always, I thought of going to a different
country and get, know, because Iknow another country that I
would like to go, it's lessexpensive than here.

Erika (19:12):
Yeah. It is like Ecuador? Yeah.

Paulina (19:15):
That's what I was thinking. My twenty year
anniversary, I guess, or maybetwenty five and have another
beautiful wedding, but it'sactually very cheap and I will
have tons of family that aregonna be there and there will be
opportunity to celebrate andjust to have my kids to see the
blessing of being with myhusband in the years that we
have been together. But it itwill be not even what we paid

(19:39):
here when I got married. Yeah.

Erika (19:41):
It would be not even less than half, right?

Paulina (19:43):
Not e yeah. And it will be a beautiful place, beautiful
venue, amazing food, and it willbe everything included. I'm not
saying to get married inEcuador, but I'm just saying.

Erika (19:54):
I want it to.

Paulina (19:55):
It will be it will be an amazing, you know,
destination to have yourwedding, but, like, we're
talking about Dubai. I'm sorry.That's just a different story.

Edgar (20:06):
Yeah. I mean, you have to factor in everyone has to pay
like everyone that's not fromEcuador or anyone who's not from
the country you're trying tohave the wedding at is gonna
have to pay a plane ticket,which is like a thousand, 2,000
per person Round trip.

Paulina (20:21):
Yeah. That's just crazy.

Erika (20:23):
I know. I know. That's why I'm saying we could have
wedding here. Mhmm. Because Iknow you want your family to be
there too, which I completelyunderstand.

Edgar (20:31):
But

Erika (20:31):
for our, like Paena said, for our 25, we're having it over
there.

Edgar (20:36):
What happened in Japan, I guess?

Erika (20:38):
In Japan?

Edgar (20:39):
What? Some place everyone has to pay tickets for?

Erika (20:44):
What do you mean? We still have to pay tickets to get
over there in Ecuador. Do welive there? Yeah. Then what do
mean everybody has to paytickets?
Your family's paying and myfamily's paying to get tickets
to Ecuador. So what's thedifference?

Paulina (20:58):
Japan. No Madagascar.

Erika (21:01):
No Madagascar, you're crazy. Alright, so what's the
final verdict for this? I thinkwe said it already, didn't it?

Edgar (21:09):
Yeah, final verdict OP isn't the asshole but like that
other side of the family.

Erika (21:14):
Oh yeah, 100%. I think they need to work on it. They
think they need to, you know,try to be more accommodating, I
guess. Mhmm. Okay.
So the next story is, am I theasshole for refusing to pay for
my sister's wedding after sheuninvited my autistic son from
being her ring barrier becausehe might ruin her day. I, 34

(21:40):
female, have a six year old son,Liam, who's autistic. He's
nonverbal but loves people andgets excited on his own way,
flapping his hands, making happynoises. My sister, 29 female, is
getting married in two monthsand originally asked Liam to be
the ring barrier, which I wasthrilled about. I've been
helping her plan the wedding,even agreeing to pay for the

(22:01):
menu $5,000 because she's tighton money.
Last week she called me cryingsaying she's been thinking it
over and decided Liam couldn'tbe the ring barrier anymore. She
said she's worried he mightfreak out during the ceremony
and ruin her perfect day. I toldher we could practice with him
and he's been in events beforewithout issues, but she wouldn't

(22:22):
budge. She even suggested he notto come to the wedding at all,
claiming it would be too muchfor him. Liam adores her and was
so excited to wear a littlesuit.
I got upset and said, if my sonisn't welcome, I'm not paying
for the menu. Who? Now she'scalling me selfish, saying I'm
holding money over her head andruining her wedding. Our parents

(22:42):
are split. Mom says I'moverreacting.
Dad says she's being cruel. Am Ithe asshole for pulling the
funding?

Edgar (22:49):
I don't think she's the asshole. Like she's like $5,000
is like a non trivial amount ofmoney to put into a venue and
like the least like OP,sister-in-law, whoever, do is
just like make some concessions.Like if someone was paying me
like $1,020,000 dollars to dolike my thing, I wouldn't like
piss them off. That's just likenot a wise decision to do.

Erika (23:10):
Just compromise.

Paulina (23:13):
Yeah. And the fact that she already asked when you ask a
little one to do something

Edgar (23:19):
Mhmm.

Paulina (23:20):
And you said all of a sudden they say you said no,
you'll break their heartsbecause their little ones will,
you know, this is and I'm alwaysrelate to what I what I go
through. You know, I have a sicka seven year old who if you say
something, mommy,

Edgar (23:35):
you

Paulina (23:35):
promise. Oh my god. And it's like, I know I promise and
I cannot break your promise. Soit'll be a pinky promise, mommy.
And how can you go back and sayto a six year old, no, you're
not going to be the ring beareranymore.
You're breaking this littleboy's heart. Plus, you are I'll

(23:57):
be honest and I'll be like, I'mnot giving you my I'm not giving
you the $5,000 because the wholereason was that my son and you
already you know, I already toldhim and I already you know, he
was excited about and now all ofsudden, you know, you don't want
him to participate. That's justwrong. I'd be sad. And, yes,

(24:18):
I'll be like, I'm not giving youmy $5,000.
Sorry.

Erika (24:21):
I mean, I I understand. Imagine there's something that
happens that he, you know, makesa mistake. I mean, but they're
little kids. It happens. You'veseen videos where little kids,
like, drop something and theneverybody laughs and then pick
it up and and and life goes on.
Mhmm. The winning is not ruined.You continue. And I mean, come

(24:42):
on. If she really wasn't willingto have him be part of the
wedding, then she shouldn't havesaid anything.
She shouldn't have offered it.And especially with somebody
who's autistic, like they don'treally understand fully even a
six year old still wouldn'tunderstand fully but I feel like
you know it's one of thosethings that are simple in life
where they're like reallyexcited and it means maybe the

(25:02):
world to him right now and thefact that he won't be able to do
that or even go to the weddingis insane to me. I think she
really she went overboard withthis and I don't think she's an
asshole at all. I'm I'm gladshe's taking away that money
because she don't deserve it.

Edgar (25:17):
Yeah. And the kids like don't understand like especially
at that age that plans changeand it just would be like too
much for them. And it just wouldbe like a little bit unfair.

Erika (25:26):
Yeah. So the top comment is she can do whatever she wants
at her wedding but not on yourdime. Exactly. I agree.

Edgar (25:34):
And also, like, she's just insulting her child at the
same time.

Paulina (25:38):
I feel like that's my that's that's what I'm saying.
I'm like, you're not includingmy son. Forget it. Like, because
that's my son, you know? Andyes.
And there's other ways, like shesaid, we can practice. We can go
over again. And he's it seemslike he's been to events before
and seems like there hasn't beena problem, but I dunno, it seems

(26:00):
just weird that all of a suddenshe doesn't want him to
participate. It's just weird.

Erika (26:03):
Yeah, and then any kid in any event, there's always a room
for something happening or goingwrong. Kids are kids. They're
never gonna do everythingperfect. So it doesn't matter
that he's autistic or not, he'sa child.

Paulina (26:17):
Yeah, instead they're actually gonna put a smile on
people's face.

Erika (26:20):
Exactly.

Edgar (26:22):
You're fine writer, Chana?

Erika (26:23):
Yeah, she's not an asshole.

Paulina (26:25):
Yeah. I agree.

Edgar (26:26):
Hope he's right to take away the money.

Erika (26:28):
Yes, snatch that away.

Edgar (26:30):
No more than you? The next story is titled, Am I the
Asshole for Telling My SisterNot to Announce Her Pregnancy at
My Wedding because I was goingto announce mine, but she did it
anyway. I, 29 female, gotmarried three months ago to my
amazing husband, thirty onemale. It was supposed to be one

(26:52):
of the happiest days of my life,but my sister, 32 female,
managed to overshadow it in away that I can't seem to move
past. A little background, myhusband and I had been trying
for a baby for a while, and whenwe finally got that positive
test, we were over the moon.
We decided we would share thenews with our family and friends
at our wedding reception.Nothing crazy, just a small

(27:14):
heartfelt moment during thespeeches. Only my parents and my
maid of honor knew about thisplan. A few weeks before the
wedding, my sister pulled measide to tell me that she was
pregnant. I was genuinely happyfor her, and we had a sweet
moment together.
Then she casually mentioned thatshe was planning to announce it
at my wedding. I was shocked andtold her, as kindly as I could,

(27:36):
that I would prefer she didn't.I even explained why because I
was also pregnant and planningto share the news that day. I
asked if she could just waitjust a little longer so that
they could stay focused on thewedding. She seemed a bit
annoyed but didn't argue much,so I thought that was the end of
it.
Well, fast forward to thereception, and guess what? Right

(27:57):
after the speeches, she standsup, clinks her glass, and
announces her pregnancy. Thewhole room erupts in cheers, and
suddenly my wedding turns intoher pregnancy celebration. I was
stunned. I didn't even get thechance to share my own news
because it felt like I'd just betrying to one up her.
Later when I confronted her, sheacted like I was overreacting

(28:19):
and said she just couldn't keepit in anymore. When I told her
how hurt I was, she said I wasselfish for wanting to control
when people share theirhappiness. My parents think she
was out of line but are tellingme to let it go for the sake of
family peace. But I can't seemto move on. Every time I think
about my wedding, I feel thisbitter pit in my stomach because

(28:39):
she took away a moment that wasspecial to me.
She, on the other hand, thinksI'm being dramatic and says I
should be happy for her insteadof making everything about
myself. So am I the asshole fornot letting this go?

Erika (28:50):
This is so infuriating.

Edgar (28:53):
I know.

Erika (28:53):
Like Oh my god.

Edgar (28:54):
Like, the the sister made it about herself and then told
OP on her wedding day not tomake it about herself.

Erika (29:01):
Oh my god. Wanna grab her by the hair.

Edgar (29:04):
No. Grab her by the baby. By the fetus. No. Mama.
Grab her by the hair. Oh.

Erika (29:11):
This is so frustrating. Mhmm. Yes.

Paulina (29:14):
That's crazy. When I when I when I'm listening to the
story, it's like, what kind ofworld are we living in right
now? I'm like, this is herwedding. This is her day. What
would you, you know, this is,you know, what it looks like to
me is like you have, there seemsto be some type of rivalry.
Ribery? Ribery between both ofBecause that's how, that's what

(29:38):
it looks like. One wants to bethe center of attention and the
other one is like, but wait,it's my day. It's like, well, I
don't care. I'm gonna do it nomatter what.
That's, it seems like there's,there is, I think that's, you
know, with this story, I feellike there's something,
something in the past that's,it's probably not the, the

(30:00):
first, the first time it seemslike it's something that's just
been happening. And now, youknow, you can see that. And
unfortunately it got to thepoint that it's like a big
event, something that you careabout so much and that someone
would just ruin it. And everytime you think about your
wedding, 'd be like, instead ofa happy memory, you have a real
bad memory. Yeah.

Erika (30:21):
At a bad taste in your mouth.

Paulina (30:22):
Yeah. I do think that I'm right. I think it's right
for the parents or for the wholefamily, for her to let that go.
Because it's not good to keep,you know, keep those things in
your heart because it's, youknow, forgiveness is not for
them, it's for you. And that'sthe whole thing about letting

(30:43):
go.
It sucks, yes. But it's not foryou. It's not for the sister,
but it's for your own sake.

Erika (30:50):
Yeah, of course. I think she should let it go for own her
own sake, but was wrong. Yes.Was. I mean, don't blame her for
being upset and just not wantingto maybe she needs time.
I think she needs time away fromher sister and then eventually,
you know, bring her back in. Butbecause, I mean, I don't blame
her. I would be really upset.

Paulina (31:10):
Plus she's both of them are pregnant, so their hormones
are all over.

Edgar (31:14):
Oh my gosh.

Paulina (31:15):
So yes, they're probably don't I don't even know
what happened there. I wouldn'teven wanna be there.

Edgar (31:20):
I know.

Erika (31:21):
There would be so much drama in that conversation right
there.

Edgar (31:24):
Right. They're both pissed and emotional times 100.

Erika (31:27):
Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. Mhmm. So the top comment is whatever
you do, do not share your baby'sname with your sister.
I've seen too many posts ofJelly's sister stealing baby
names and she seems terribleenough to do it. Yeah, it

Edgar (31:43):
looks like. It's like so weird too like why steal someone
else's name idea? Like I don'tget the rationale for that.

Erika (31:49):
Yeah, no. I've seen that happen too. Mhmm. Like
personally.

Paulina (31:52):
Sister and I were what a few months apart when we both
had boys and we both were happyfor each other. And we didn't
steal their boys' names. We havetwo different boys and they each
one have a different personaland middle name. And so, you
know, I'm like, I don'tunderstand how a sister can do
that to you and ruin your wholewedding day and your news, you

(32:17):
know? I'm sure she will havelike, she could have done it in
a different day where there wasfamily involved or she wanted to
do it in social media.
You know, now there's so manyways of sharing the news and

Erika (32:28):
that she needed to do They don't want a celebration.
Yeah. They do with the babypopping, the

Paulina (32:32):
cake

Erika (32:32):
Yeah.

Paulina (32:32):
That's so sad. That's so sad with the sisters.

Erika (32:35):
Yeah. I know. It didn't have to be this way, but that
sister made it this way and thenit had to be like that.

Edgar (32:41):
I know, she just hijacked the entire day. Yeah, that's So
now people are gonna I mean, Ifeel like it's tacky, like
imagine like, remember thischick's wedding? And then the
other person will be like, yeah,that's when they announced the
baby, didn't they, for anotherfamily?

Erika (32:53):
Yeah, it looks it makes her the sister look bad anyways
too. Like it literally sees howselfish she is that ruining her
sister's wedding day by bringingup her important news when it's
not her day.

Edgar (33:06):
Ruins both of their

Paulina (33:06):
news.

Edgar (33:07):
All that's what theme uses. It ruins the baby reveal
for sisters and also ruins thewedding.

Paulina (33:12):
Yeah. It's not even one, it has two. So many events
right there in one day. Yeah.

Erika (33:21):
She should have done, she should have not done that.
Especially if she said don't dothat, that you know, she said
respectfully not to do it. Andshe went against her will and
said well I couldn't hold it in.You're an adult, you know how to
help

Edgar (33:34):
your Self control.

Erika (33:35):
Yes, you should know how to

Paulina (33:37):
do that. And don't blame it on the baby. No.

Edgar (33:41):
That baby curse.

Paulina (33:42):
Or your hormones.

Erika (33:44):
Exactly. Alright.

Edgar (33:47):
Final verdict?

Paulina (33:48):
She's now reacting and she's not losing her mind.

Erika (33:52):
Yeah, I don't think. I think she's the asshole. She
really is the sister.

Edgar (33:58):
Oh, the sister. Okay. Yeah, I agree that the sister is
the asshole. But OP, yeah, sheshould just kind of let it go.

Erika (34:04):
Yeah. For own sake.

Paulina (34:05):
Just especially because they're both gonna have babies
you don't want that, you don'twant that relationship to be
ruined because of both of them.And they might, the kids might
have a good relationship. Letthat, let that leave that aside
and have the kids have a goodrelationship and learn from your
mistakes.

Erika (34:23):
And be better, be a better person.

Paulina (34:26):
Yep.

Erika (34:27):
Yeah, so the next story is, Emma the asshole for calling
off my wedding after my fiancebought a house with his mom.
This one seems interesting.Okay. So me, my 28 female, and
my fiance, thirty male, havebeen together five years. We
were planning our weddings forthis fall and have been talking

(34:49):
for years about our future likekids, finances and buying a
house together.
We had a whole plan saved up,find something we both loved,
make her a home. This was talkedabout a lot. Well, turns out he
already bought a house but notwith me with his mom and he

(35:09):
didn't even tell me he waslooking. Apparently she found
the perfect place and convincedhim to split it with her because
she didn't want to rent anymore.So now instead of us planning
our future together, he'sfinancially tied to his mother
who's going to be living therefull time.
I just stared at him like, what?And when I asked where I fit

(35:33):
into all of this, he goes, oh,well, you can move in too, of
course. Like I'm supposed to bethrilled to live in a house his
mom picked out, partially ownsand is just there all the time.
He also admitted he did itbecause I was taking too long to
save and his mom offered him afaster way to own something. I

(35:56):
was so shocked and pissed.
I told him I needed space andthe more I thought about it, the
more I realized I can't marrysomeone who thinks this is
normal. So I called off thewedding and now his whole family
is blowing up my phone sayingI'm being dramatic. That it's
just a house. I'm more reactingbecause we can still live
together. Even my own parentsare saying canceling the whole

(36:16):
wedding is extreme.
Like, am I losing my mind? Am Ithe asshole or is this a giant
red flag?

Edgar (36:24):
So, yeah, I think OP OP's ex husband now or ex fiance
should have told at least toldher the plan because I feel like
it just came out of the blue.

Erika (36:35):
I would divorce you. I'm sorry. Bye. Bye. I don't need
anything from you.
I'm done. I'll just leave. Packmy bags, go.

Paulina (36:45):
I'd be like, girl, run away right now.

Erika (36:48):
Yeah.

Paulina (36:48):
You're not at the altar right now. Well, even at the
altar, you can still run away.

Erika (36:53):
Exactly Jensen. Yeah.

Paulina (36:55):
Yeah. But no, that's a huge red flag. I'm sorry. That's
a huge red flag. The fact thatyou both of you have talked
about getting a house, planningyour future and all of a sudden
he planned part of his futurewithout you.
That's not okay.

Erika (37:10):
A big part of your future,

Paulina (37:12):
by the Yeah, it's a big one and it's like nothing like
nothing happened like it wasjust something small. No, that's
huge because you especially thatyour future mother-in-law is
gonna live there. Yeah, that'sweird.

Erika (37:28):
Would

Paulina (37:28):
not like That wasn't even planned. They never talk
about that. Oh, it's notprivacy.

Erika (37:35):
Yeah.

Paulina (37:36):
No, I'd be like

Edgar (37:37):
think it's also weird, like, he suggested like the
solution to all this like messis that they live with his mom
and build their family with hismom like that.

Erika (37:47):
That makes no sense. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm upset
because even her parents werelike, still it's your
overreacting. You should stillget married.
It's crazy to me.

Edgar (37:58):
Yeah. That's like not not their decision.

Erika (38:00):
I'm sorry. If my sister told me that my her fiance did
this to her, I'd be like, girl,let that man go. He you deserve
better. Come live with me. Like,no way.
No way.

Paulina (38:14):
I know. Me too. I'd like, no, don't don't do that to
yourself. This is not not okay.

Erika (38:21):
And and it's just scary because really, if you think
about it in the future, if he'sdoing this already, imagine what
else he's gonna be like, oh,yeah. And by the way, we got
this car or I put out a loan forboth of us or something, you
know, you just never know whatelse he could do because his mom
said, you know, it's okay.

Paulina (38:39):
I agree.

Edgar (38:40):
Yeah. It just pushes back to, like, their actual plans,
like, getting a house alonetogether.

Erika (38:46):
Yeah. I I don't know. I think it's just scary to think
that he thought this is not, youknow, that she's overreacting.
That she's the one that's beingcrazy here. And like, she's got
to the point that it's like, amI losing my mind here?
Am I in the wrong? Like, she hasto write this out because so
many people are gaslighting her.

Paulina (39:07):
And, you know, also when you have that feeling in
your tummy, that's just tellingyou, nope, this is not okay.
Sometimes we ignore thatfeeling. Sometimes we need to
stand up in that ground andsaid, no. I'm not gonna do that
to myself. These people cantalk, people can say whatever,

(39:29):
but it's your life, your future.
So I don't think she's alreadyoverreacting and yes, I think
it's a red flag.

Erika (39:39):
The top comment is he didn't just buy a house, he
built a whole future with hismommy and left you out of it.
That's not a mistake. It's aconscious decision to prioritize
her over you and the fact thathe thought you just move in like
a guest in a home his mothercontrols. Disrespectful as hell.
This isn't just a red flag, it'sa parade of them.

(40:00):
If you marry him, you're notgonna you're not getting a
husband. You're setting up to bethe third wheel in his
codependent mommy son fantasy.He's already made his choice,
and it wasn't you. So doyourself a favor favor. Pack
your bags, block his family, andgo find a man who actually sees
you as his future, not attendingin his mommy's house.

Paulina (40:23):
Woah.

Erika (40:23):
Couldn't send it better. Yes. Shout out That's why

Paulina (40:26):
we're trying to say all of us. Together. Yeah.

Edgar (40:30):
I'm just wondering why, like, even her family wants them
to stay together. Whatperspective can they have? Can
we try to imagine wearing theirshoes? Why would we want them to
still be together despite this?

Erika (40:42):
Reputation? Maybe. Or maybe. Maybe.

Edgar (40:47):
How old they are.

Erika (40:48):
Yeah. You know. She's, you know, she's just you state
somebody else.

Paulina (40:51):
Maybe also thinking about her, how she will feel
after the whole thing. Becausewhat planning a wedding is
emotional. And you're and whenyou're planning your wedding,
you want everything to go rightand this and that and you're
gonna feel after she pulls outthe wedding, it's gonna be sad
because you're gonna be like, Iwas looking forward for my

(41:12):
wedding, I was doing this andall of a sudden everything is
gone. And you're not going toget married. You're probably
going to see the invitations,you're probably going to see the
wedding dress and it's like,you're going to be it's to take
some time for her to get upagain and and keep walking, but
it's nothing is impossible.
But I think just like the thecomment said, you know, I think

(41:34):
it's it's a giant red flag. It'sit's it's you still have time to
to run away and to back up andand find someone else that will
actually plan the future withyou.

Erika (41:49):
Yeah. I mean, I agree a %. I think it's just maybe
they're thinking about herhappiness now, happiness now and
not in the future. Yeah. Likefor me, I would say you know
you're gonna be reallyheartbroken now but I think you
deserve better and even thoughit's gonna be painful now it
doesn't mean that you're notgoing to get over it and find

(42:11):
somebody that truly values you.
Yeah,

Edgar (42:13):
so what's the final verdict?

Erika (42:15):
I would say that she is not the asshole, she should just
dump him.

Edgar (42:21):
Yeah, same here.

Erika (42:22):
She should she definitely should she is in the right for
calling off the weddingaltogether.

Paulina (42:29):
Yes I agree. So

Edgar (42:32):
the next story is titled Am I the asshole for telling my
dad he can't bring his newgirlfriend to my wedding? I, 26
female, am getting married inApril. Recently my dad called to
ask if he could bring his newgirlfriend to my wedding. From
what he told me, they met inDecember over Facebook, have
never seen each other in person,and I don't think they are
dating officially. I told himthis sounds like he wants his

(42:56):
first date to be at my weddingand that's weird because she's a
stranger to both of us.
He's a little upset but he saidokay. My grandma called me to
say I was being unfair becausehe really likes her. I told her
that he has liked all hisprevious girls and all those
relationships ended because he'sa serial cheater. She said I'm

(43:17):
being unreasonable, but I don'tthink I am. I'm just
uncomfortable with having thiswoman at the wedding.
She says, apparently, my mom isbringing her boyfriend of eight
years to the wedding. My fatherdoesn't have a plus one because
he brings his blings to myimportant events. And since they
are family, then cheats on them.So yeah, the father is a whole

(43:37):
mess.

Erika (43:38):
He's a casanoba.

Edgar (43:40):
Yeah. Even.

Erika (43:41):
Chill out.

Edgar (43:45):
Think think she want she only wants to bring a stranger
to this wedding just to makehimself look a little bit okay
to like the ex wife.

Erika (43:53):
Oh yeah he probably doesn't want to see his ex wife
see him but single and havenobody next to him. That's all
it is. I know. And not becauseit didn't mean anything to him.
But I mean I completely get whyshe doesn't want to bite the
girlfriend because what's thepoint of paying for the
girlfriend if it's just a fling?
That's unreasonable for herfather to expect to be okay with
that.

Edgar (44:13):
Yeah that's basically the daughter's paying for the date.

Paulina (44:17):
Right. She doesn't even know what she's gonna do.

Erika (44:22):
On the wedding. What is that drama? Oh my gosh.

Paulina (44:25):
I'd like no. My god.

Edgar (44:28):
I'd be like no.

Erika (44:29):
Yeah, like example, depending on what venue or where
she's going, it could be $2.50.It could be $80 just for the
plate and then, you know, forthe guests to be more. It's just
crazy. Mhmm. This is not worthit for a fling.

Paulina (44:41):
Yeah. He can go somewhere else and then. Yeah.

Erika (44:44):
If he doesn't cheat on her. Exactly. Yeah, that's
crazy.

Edgar (44:48):
Some people are just meant to be alone.

Erika (44:51):
Well, feel like people are like this because they
haven't worked on themselves andtried to better themselves to be
actually with a serious person.So the top comment is I've not
had an actual wedding but frommy understanding the prices are
per head. Right? So not only ishe planning to make your wedding

(45:14):
his first date, he wants you topay for it. He and the grandma
can kick rocks like

Edgar (45:18):
the asshole. That's crazy.

Erika (45:22):
Yeah. So I agree. I think she shouldn't be invited and he
shouldn't have a plus one. It'sfine for his mother because he
had a boyfriend for eight years.He's not a fling.

Edgar (45:32):
Yeah. He's not like a stranger. Like someone that he
she probably like, probably meta few times.

Erika (45:36):
Yep. Exactly. And the fact that, you know, he's trying
to say, your mom is bringingsomebody. Yeah. No.
Mm-mm. It doesn't matter. You'rein the wrong here, son. I mean,

Edgar (45:46):
sir. Yeah. Basically a son. But yeah. What is the final
verdict then?

Erika (45:52):
I would say, nah. She's not the asshole.

Edgar (45:55):
Yeah. She's not the LP is not the asshole.

Erika (45:57):
No. No. Final story is, am I the asshole for telling my
fiance I don't want her to wearher late husband's wedding ring
during our ceremony? I 30 maleam engaged to Emily thirty
female. We're getting marriedthis fall.
I love her deeply, but I'venever been more sure about

(46:18):
anything in my life. That said,there's one thing that's been
eating at me. I'm not sure ifI'm being selfish or just
honest. Emily was married oncebefore to a guy named Tyler.
They got married young, earlytwenties, and he passed away in
a car accident about five yearsago.
It was sudden and tragic andfrom everything I've heard they
were truly in love. I met Emilytwo years after his death. At

(46:42):
first she was very open about itand I respected that. I knew
coming into this relationshipthat it wasn't her first great
love and that I was okay withthat. I still am, mostly.
Over the years, I've supportedher through moments of grief,
anniversaries, random waves ofsadness. She still misses his
grave on his birthday and shekeeps a box of his stings in our

(47:04):
closet. I've never touched it.She's shown me a few pictures of
them together and not listenedto her talk about what kind of
person he was. I've tried reallyhard to respect that part of her
life while also building herown.
Which brings me to now. A fewweeks ago, Emily told me she
plans to wear Tyler's weddingring on a chain around her neck
on her wedding day. Sheexplained it was quite a quiet

(47:27):
tribute, not something she wantsto announce or make a big deal
about, just something personal.She said she wouldn't be where
she is now without having gonethrough that loss and she feels
like hearing that part of herstory into the new chapter is
meaningful. I didn't say much atthe time because I didn't know
how to respond, But the more Isat with it, the more it

(47:48):
bothered me.
So I finally told her how Ifelt. I said I want our wedding
day to be a celebration of usand it's hard for me to wrap my
head around the idea of wearinganother man's wedding ring even
if he's gone. I told her itmakes me feel like I'm sharing
the most important day of mylife with someone who's not
here. I said it makes me feellike second place. She got very

(48:10):
quiet and told me that shewasn't choosing him over me and
that she's allowed to honor herpast while still moving forward.
She said grief isn't a door youclose, it just becomes part of
who you are. I get that. Ireally do. But at the same time,
I don't think I'm askingsomething outrageous by wanting
this one day, our day to beabout the life we're building

(48:32):
together, not just what shelost. Since then, there's been a
weird tension between us.
She hasn't brought it up again,but she hasn't said she changed
her mind either. I feel like thebad guy, like I'm trying to
erase someone important to her,but I'm also struggling with the
idea of standing at the altarannoying she's still literally
carrying a symbol of her firstmarriage as she says spouse to

(48:54):
start a new one with me. I'vetold no one in my life about
this, not my friends, not myfamily, because I know how it
might sound, but internally,it's tearing me up. I don't want
to hurt her and I definitelydon't want to start a marriage
with resentment or guilt. But amI wrong for what I said?
I haven't asked her not to wearit explicitly yet, but it made
it clear I'm not comfortablewith it. Am I the asshole? This

(49:21):
is deep right? This is hard.

Paulina (49:22):
Yeah, this is a sad story. But I think it, think she
needs more cons- think she needscounseling. Grieving takes time.
And she's really, she's stillhurting with everything she, you
know, he mentions about thethings that she kept. And I

(49:42):
guess, yes, there's a time whereyou keep certain things with
you, but there's also a timewhen you need to let go, Because
it's not gonna do any good toyou, you know, especially if
she's starting a new chapter ofher life with a new person.
Yes, I think there's a way thatyou can attribute to your past
and what it brought to you. Butthere's also a time where you

(50:08):
need to say, okay, I'm gratefuland I'm letting you go because
this is my new future. And so Ithink it's a little bit too
much. I think having thatconversation, even having
someone that they can bothshare, like even going to
therapy together or, you know, Ifeel like it's needed,
especially because he's very,he's been very kind to her. He's

(50:31):
been very respectful and he's,you know, he's He loves her.
Yes, he truly does. And you cansee it by everything he,
especially, you know, especiallyall the things that she's kept
and, but this is his weddingtoo, not just And this is both
of them. And so I think both ofthem need to work on moving to a

(50:53):
new chapter together. It's thetwo of them.

Erika (50:55):
Not just him willing to start a new life with her
because this is what, this iswhere the misconnection comes
in. She still doesn't wanna letgo of her past.

Paulina (51:05):
Right.

Erika (51:05):
And and he's not saying to forget him at all and not
think about him at all becausethat's that's obviously not
realistic. He's just saying, youknow, let's start a new life now

Edgar (51:15):
Mhmm.

Erika (51:16):
Because we are making vows to each other to spend the
rest of our life together. Andso I think it's not so much it's
not selfish or it's not too muchto ask for him to say that to
her. And I think at this point,I know there's you know,
obviously, I've never gonethrough any loss immense like
this. But I think if you reallywanna love somebody fully and

(51:36):
you wanna start a new life, thenyou have to be able to be ready
for that. And if she's notready, then they shouldn't get
married.

Paulina (51:42):
Right. I think that's that's what I was thinking too.
The fact that they're, I don'tknow if they're rushing it, she
might not be ready because she'sstill not, you know, she's
bringing her past with it.

Erika (51:55):
Yeah. You can't start a new relationship with your past.
Absolutely. No. Do you think?

Edgar (52:02):
Pause, like think of it as optimistically. Maybe this is
like her letting go of the pasthusband like having this wedding
ring in her neck during theceremony. But also it seems like
OP is not comfortable with thatat all. So if she wants to like
have, like, some ceremony whereshe's, like, letting go and,
like, having it be, like,accepted, like, oh, my husband,
like, spiritually is is lettingme go now, they should do it

(52:26):
before the wedding ceremony.Like, have it private with her
only or with her and thehusband, But yeah, not in the
wedding since, obviously,hopefully isn't comfortable with
that.

Paulina (52:36):
I like that.

Erika (52:37):
I like that too babe. That's a good job. I think it's
just one of the things wherethey need to try to figure out
what is best for both of them.Because at the end of the day,
you don't want to startsomething with resentment or
feeling like you're not beingunderstood and ignored. Because
if he was not if she doesn'tbring the ring around her neck,

(52:58):
then she feels like he's notletting her feel or mourn or
whatever.
And then if he does and shedoesn't, then she's gonna feel
like it's just back and forth.It's gonna be bad. So they need
to have that talk. Yeah. The topcomment is I was widowed at 29
and remarried six years later.
I can totally relate to yourfiance's rationale for this and

(53:20):
also understand your very normalfeelings about it. That said, I
think she's wrong. Your weddingis inherently implicitly and
factually about yourrelationship together and her
late husband shouldn't be partof it. There are lots of ways
she can continue to honor andremember him for the rest of her
life. This is one day.

(53:41):
My worry for you is that she'sdoing it as a sort of an apology
to him for moving on with you. Iwouldn't want to be on the
receiving end of that either. Ohwow, I didn't think about that.
Like saying that she thinks it'slike I'm sorry, know, I'm moving
on. Like, she's just she hasn'tmoved on.

(54:01):
I think she needs

Paulina (54:02):
to really That's what I'm saying. I think she needs to
go through therapy aboutgrievance. Yeah. Because she's
holding it too strong. Shedoesn't wanna let it go.
It seems like even to herwedding for her to bring that to
her wedding, you know, I thinkthat's, there's a lot of stuff
that she's dealing with. Yeah.And I feel like, feel you know,
Tyler is just being veryaccommodating with everything

(54:25):
that he's doing to help her, buthe also needs to speak up
because otherwise it's not gonnado any good to her either.

Erika (54:33):
Yeah. At

Edgar (54:33):
that point like she's like enabling, wanting in this
unhealthy way.

Erika (54:38):
Right, definitely. I think he's been more than enough
understanding with her andbecause he loves her, but I also
don't think, I think we weretalking about this a little bit
mean and good, but it's also notfair to him either to be with
somebody that's not willing tolet go of her past and start a
new life with him. So if she'snot willing to do that after,
you know, a certain amount,going to therapy and she still
wants to continue, then, youknow, she's not ready. And if

(55:00):
she's willing to continue waithis life five more years, six
more years, have his life inpause until she's finally ready
to love him. I don't know ifit's as fair to him either.
And then I'm not saying to breakup, but I'm saying he should
really think it through and seeif he's willing to wait until
she's finally ready to be withhim. And we don't know how long
that would be because Grievousdoesn't have a time limit. So,

(55:22):
you know, it's not fair to himeither because he deserves to be
loved as well.

Paulina (55:27):
Yes. I agree. This is a really sad story.

Erika (55:30):
It is. Because it's not her fault either that she lost
her Yeah. Horrifying. It's justone of those things where it's
like, hard.

Edgar (55:38):
So final verdict? I don't think anyone's the asshole in
this story.

Paulina (55:43):
Yeah, no, don't think so.

Erika (55:46):
I think everybody is just trying to love each other as
much as they can. Honestly agreewith Palina, they need some
counseling. I think both of themneed counseling honestly and
together as well relationshipcounseling so they could
continue and try to you knowtake on life with you know
partnership. And that's all thestories we have today. Thank

(56:12):
you, Paulina, for joining us andour audience for tuning in this
week's episode.
Check out our website,www.yappings.com and join our
mail list for updates. If youlove our podcast and want to
support us, subscribe and shareto your friends and family. We
would appreciate it so much.

Edgar (56:29):
Also, we started a Facebook group called AITA
relationship and family dramalinked in the description. Join
so you can share Am I theAsshole posts you like or share
your own stories for us all tojudge. We may even read a few
posts in one of our episodes ifyou're lucky.

Erika (56:45):
Thank you. Bye.

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Episode 22: Say Yes to the Mess - Reddit Stories That'll Make You Say "I Don't"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 22: Say Yes to the Mess - Reddit Stories That'll Make You Say "I Don't"