April 14, 2025 • 48 mins
This week on Yapping Schnauzers, we’re howling over moments that were supposed to be special… until someone else made it all about them. From a birthday dinner turned self-congratulatory roast 🥂, to a delivery room showdown complete with MIL meltdowns and unauthorized birth footage 📹, to a "romantic" kidnapping proposal gone full-on pepper spray panic 🚐💨. These milestones were not the vibe:
💔 One fiancé uses student loans as a life lesson (during dessert??),
💥 One aunt thinks "no" just means "not yet",
👶 And one woman’s ex thinks she should raise his unborn child. (Spoiler: she won’t.)
Tap in for betrayals, bad timing, and boundary bulldozing. We’re breaking down when “celebrations” go sideways and why the spotlight was never theirs to steal.
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- AITAH for walking out of my own birthday dinner because my girlfriend turned it into her celebration?
- AITAH for kicking my husband and MIL out of the delivery room?
- AITAH for walking out of my own birthday dinner after my fiancé’s little surprise?
- Found out wife of 13 years is cheating, now what?
- AITA for yelling at my aunt after she kept pressuring me to marry her son?
- AITA for yelling that I have nothing to do with my ex's unborn child because I am not the mother?
- AITA for destroying my best friend's proposal because I believed she was being kidnapped?
~
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:03):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:05):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:06):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with the yap- worthy stories wefind around the web. Today's
theme is hijacked milestones.The first story is, Am I the
Asshole for Walking Out on MyBirthday Dinner Because My
Girlfriend Turned It Into HerCelebration. So, I'm a 25 male
(00:29):
and my birthday was lastweekend.
I don't usually do anything big,but this year a bunch of my
friends were in town, and mygirlfriend, 35 female, offered
to plan something. I wasgenuinely excited. She made me
dinner and reservations at anice place I've been wanting to
try and said she had a littlesurprise planned. The surprise
(00:51):
was that she invited a bunch ofher friends, like six of them,
people I barely know, one ofthem I actually dislike because
she used to hit on me when mygirlfriend and I first started
dating. My girlfriend brushed itoff saying it would make things
more fun and lively.
Whatever. I tried to roll withit, but then at dinner it just
(01:12):
got worse. She spent the entiretime talking to her friends. I
was seated at the far end of thetable next to two people I've
never met. She didn't even sitnext to me.
When the food came, they alltoasted her for organizing
everything and started talkingabout her upcoming promotion.
Her best friend gave a speechabout how she deserves all the
(01:35):
happiness in the world. Not onemention of me or my birthday. No
cake, no toast, no happybirthday, nothing. I literally
just sat there while everyonegushed over her for two hours.
Eventually I got up, paid for myportion of the meal, said I
wasn't feeling well, and left. Ididn't make a scene or yell, I
(01:56):
just quietly left. Later shetexted me saying I embarrassed
her in front of her friends andruined the night. She said she
tried really hard to make itspecial and I was being really
ungrateful. A few of her friendshave messaged me saying I was
being immature and it wasn'tthat deep.
But I don't know man, is itcrazy to think my birthday
should have been at least alittle bit about me? Am I the
(02:17):
asshole?
Edgar (02:18):
I feel like she didn't leave as quietly as she thinks
she did because everyonenoticed.
Erika (02:23):
It's a he.
Edgar (02:24):
Oh he, sounded like a she. But yeah, think he probably
left a lot more upset than helet on and that's why everyone's
upset with him. But also it waskind of messed up in his own
birthday that no one reallyacknowledged it. It was just
basically an average learner.
Erika (02:43):
Would you have done the same and left?
Edgar (02:45):
Probably not. I'm not big on my birthday.
Erika (02:48):
So you wouldn't have cared?
Edgar (02:50):
Not too much yet. Poor Lila.
Erika (02:54):
She herself under the table.
Edgar (02:58):
How about you? How do you feel about this?
Erika (02:59):
I would be really upset but I would express my feelings.
I wouldn't just stay quiet.
Edgar (03:04):
So you would have yelled at everyone on the table? No, I
wouldn't.
Erika (03:07):
Okay, there's a difference between expressing
and yelling. I would have justsaid
Edgar (03:12):
that everyone out of our conversation? No. Over dinner?
Feel like that's
Erika (03:17):
like there's like
Edgar (03:18):
no way to tell everybody how upset you in the dinner
table or if I was sounding likeyou're
Erika (03:25):
No, I would have said, Hey babe, I need to talk to you
for a little bit. And then Iwould have talked outside or
somewhere else and I would havesaid, This is my birthday
dinner. There's nobody here ofmy friends that are available.
It's only all your friends. AndI'm not even sitting next to
you.
I don't feel like really we'recelebrating me for my birthday.
(03:46):
I mean, if she gets upset, it'sbecause she's an asshole here.
Mhmm. But if if, for example,she didn't mean it to be that
way, then she would've said,okay, I'm sorry. You know,
let's, you know, sing happybirthday or whatever.
Yeah. Be understanding. But youdon't have to make it in a scene
or do it in front of everybody.Just quietly say, Hey, need to
(04:08):
talk to you. Privately talk toyour significant other.
Edgar (04:13):
Yeah. He should've handled it better, you know?
Erika (04:16):
Yeah, I mean I wouldn't have left like that. I mean, I
wouldn't say, I don't think shereally put in the effort to
celebrate his birthday becausetechnically all the people that
are there are for her and notfor him. Mhmm. So she really
just planned it for herself.
Edgar (04:32):
Yeah, mean it's pretty clear from the context we're
given that OP was pissed offabout what happened, but also
his girlfriend didn't reallyhelp the situation.
Erika (04:43):
No, I think she was trying to kill two birds and one
stone but that's not how itworks. When somebody's birthday
it's for you to celebrate thatperson's birthday, not you too.
She could've done a separatedinner for celebrating her
promotion. Why did it have to bein his birthday?
Edgar (04:58):
Yeah.
Erika (04:59):
So, yeah, she was very selfish. So the top comment is,
not the asshole. She didn'tthrow you a birthday dinner, she
threw herself a dinner, butdecided she could kill two birds
with one stone if she lied andsaid it was you.
Edgar (05:11):
Exactly.
Erika (05:12):
It was for you, yeah. Yeah, she's the asshole I
Edgar (05:17):
think yeah, I mean, this is something that I don't think
that, yeah. I don't think it'sreally an offense to break over,
but
Erika (05:27):
You would still stay with him?
Edgar (05:28):
Yeah, it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe they
thought this was gonna turn outa lot smoother than how it came
out. I feel like in OP'sgirlfriend's brain it was
probably gonna be like, Okay,I'm gonna celebrate these two
things and he'll be happy andI'll be happy, but it seems like
his birthday was just totallyovershadowed by her promotion
and whatever she had going on,and it didn't quite turn out how
(05:49):
she expected it. Because try todo two birds with one stone
unless you at least believe thatit's actually going to
accomplish both tasks at thesame time, optimally.
Erika (06:04):
Okay, so my way of thinking is this. So, for
example, if a girl did this fora guy, I would say she's selfish
and she just really just wantedto do something for herself and
didn't wanna really put too mucheffort on her boyfriend. Because
for me, I would, if it's foryour birthday celebration, I
(06:25):
will invite your friends and notmy friends. That's for me, it's
literally implication that youwanna have people that my
boyfriend knows and that shewould be happy that they're
there because that's his friendsand his family or whatever.
Edgar (06:39):
Yeah.
Erika (06:39):
So that to me that she didn't do that is just basically
I I don't understand what whatshe expected. You know I mean? I
I don't I don't get it. And thenif a guy like if it was the guy
that did this for the girl,then, you know, I could kinda
understand because it's guys, Ifeel like they they kinda have a
(06:59):
once mindset thing. Like, youknow
Edgar (07:01):
So you think that's because she's like a woman?
Erika (07:04):
Yeah,
Edgar (07:04):
because there She knew the situation more clearly and
Erika (07:08):
she probably
Edgar (07:09):
knew the outcome of it. I guess maybe, yeah. But also, how
much of his friends does sheactually know?
Erika (07:15):
Exactly, that's what I'm saying. So that's what I'm
saying for the guy too. It'skinda weird to be like, hey,
unless, you know, they've meteach other more like the best
friends or two or three of them.They could be invited but still,
you know what I mean? Like,it's, you know, you have
Facebook.
You don't need to have anybody'sphone number here. It is so much
easier to get in contact witheverybody than anybody, you
(07:37):
know. Just back then you had toreally kneel the phone number.
Edgar (07:40):
Yeah.
Erika (07:41):
So I don't know, just feel like it's just one of those
things that she didn't reallytry. She just wanted her to take
the spotlight. It wasn't reallya celebration for the boyfriend.
So, honestly, I don't know if Iwould stay with her, I mean with
him, he did that to me. I thinkit would just be one of those
things where if he did anythingelse I'd be like, alright, peace
(08:04):
out.
Edgar (08:06):
I feel like it's not a big deal. Final verdict?
Erika (08:09):
I would say she's definitely the asshole. She did
not try hard enough to make herboyfriend's birthday special for
him.
Edgar (08:19):
Yeah, say OP is not the outsold but his girlfriend, yeah
she was the outsold but I thinkshe was trying to do two birds
with one stone but she was halfassing the OP's birthday.
Erika (08:32):
At least. I think I would have forgiven her if she at
least had three friends of his.
Edgar (08:38):
The next story is Am I the asshole for kicking my
husband and mother-in-law out ofthe Delivery Room. I, 27 female,
and my husband Dan, twenty ninemale, became parents eight weeks
ago. My whole pregnancy was noteasy due to placenta previa, but
I managed to make it to thirtyseven weeks. Something happened
(08:58):
during labor that I want anoutside perspective on. When I
went into labor, I called my momand told her, and my husband
called my mother-in-law and shealso told her.
We both agreed it would be justus at the hospital, but I was
shocked to see my mother-in-lawarriving to come help. I thanked
her for being there and Dan andI agreed that it would be just
(09:20):
us, but she said she came allthe way so it would be bad to
make her leave. I talked to Danand told her that I am not
comfortable with her beingthere, but he told me his mom is
just there for support. I calledmy mom to drive over because the
hospital has a limit of only twosupport persons in the Delivery
Room. When my mom arrived, Idiscussed with the nurses that
(09:41):
my mom and husband would be theonly ones allowed in the room.
I figured if I am going to haveone more person in the room, I
would rather it be my mom. Mymother-in-law threw a fit saying
I am excluding her from thebirth of her grandchild and that
I am selfish. She refused toleave and said my mom should
also be sent out and that I ampurposely leaving her out. My
(10:02):
mom, to avoid problems, said shewould be out with her in the
waiting room praying for us. Nowhere comes the real problem.
It was getting more intense andI saw my Dan recording me, so I
politely told him that I do notfeel comfortable being recorded.
Even when the nurse came tocheck how dilated I am, he
recorded it. I expressed to himthat this is bothering me and
(10:23):
that I want to labor with nocameras. He said to me, Since my
mom cannot be in here, I'llvideotape the whole thing for
her as she won't have to feellike she missed out. When it
came time to push, Dan had hisphone all over me and recorded
in my private areas.
I told the nurse to take thephone and please stop any
recordings, but he said I amspoiling the moment. I screamed
(10:46):
at him to get out and that I donot like it and a lovely RN
escorted him out because he wasputting stress on me. When we
were taken to recovery afterbirth, Dan did not bother
showing up and only came afterhours of me calling him. He
called me selfish and said Iexcluded him from the birth of
his son and excluded his mom andthat they both are very hurt.
(11:06):
His mom said that she has alwayswanted to witness his birth and
that this is her only son and Iruined the moment of her
grandchild being born.
I expressed how frustrated Ifelt being recorded and Dan not
considering me. They bothstormed out of the hospital
room. I am currently living withmy parents because Dan has not
come around. He has tried to getour son to sleep over but since
(11:27):
I am exclusively breastfed hecannot. Our son had some trouble
latching during the first twoweeks and we are still getting
the hang of it.
I do not want him to get used tothe bottle. I have talked to Dan
about me moving back to ourhouse, but he said there is a
lot we need to deal with first.By the way, I'm in my parents
house because when we weredischarged, Dan did not pick us
(11:47):
up. He has not seen our son in awhile now and does not bother to
check up on us. My dad did go bythe house to talk to him man to
man, but he was not home.
I hope we will be able to fixthings because before all of
this, he was a pretty decenthusband. I might ask him for
kicking my husband andmother-in-law out of the living
room. So yeah, clearly not. AndI think husband, Obi's husband,
(12:10):
is very inconsiderate. He'sacting very immature, I don't
get why he's acting this way,like basically abandoning his
family because his mother can'tbe in the delivery room during
birth.
Because not even OP's mother wasthere, so it's just kind of a
fair thing that was trying tohappen.
Erika (12:31):
Yeah, don't understand Dan here. I think he's just
being a child with a tantrum,Showing that he shouldn't, you
know, because you didn't let medo this, then I am leaving you.
Mhmm. It's not. Yeah.
Like, like, it's something youcould just throw away and it'll
be, like it don't matter.
Edgar (12:53):
I
Erika (12:54):
think he's just, his mother and Dan are complete
assholes because she's literallygiving birth.
Edgar (12:59):
Yeah, I know.
Erika (13:00):
Why are you stressing her out? She's, there's already, I
believe she mentioned that shehad placenta previa, which for
those who don't know is I havethe definition here. So placenta
previa is when the placentaattaches lower in the uterus.
Well this results in someportion of the placental tissue
(13:22):
covering the cervix, which canresult bleeding during the
pregnancy or during or afterdelivery. And it's a little bit
difficult to do a correction onits own too.
So, I mean, she's alreadystruggling with certain things
and then them he trying torecord her even though she
repeatedly said that
Edgar (13:40):
And it was like it was also pretty, like, messed up too
because, like, I I wouldn'twanna be recorded doing a
private thing like that. And hewas all up on there. Yeah. Like
weird.
Erika (13:49):
Yeah, like, let's say you wanna record it, but I will stay
Edgar (13:54):
At least feel I mean, if you don't have consent, just be
respectful about it.
Erika (13:58):
Yeah. Or like I was trying to say is like, you would
literally just record, her face.But like nothing, no private
areas. Because, you know, that'sprivate. You don't nobody wants
to see that.
Like, that's just wrong. And thefact that he ignored her
multiple times. And he's like,I'm doing this for my mom, just
because you kicked her out youhave to let me do this, is
basically what he was trying tosay, in other words. Yeah, so I
(14:23):
think he's a complete assholeand he, I I would be rethinking
a lot of things now, honestly.
Edgar (14:28):
Also, imagine OP's parents probably hate the guy
now as well.
Erika (14:35):
Yeah, I would not like him at all. Okay, because I
Edgar (14:39):
He has a lot of messed up happening over nothing.
Erika (14:42):
Yeah. And this something's something that's
supposed to be beautiful. Likesomething that you, you know, we
the husband's supposed to bepart of. And it should be
something that you're bothbringing life to in this world
and that you're, you know, in anew stage in your life. But it
was completely ruined by themother-in-law and him.
Edgar (14:59):
I know Opie's husband was trying to be a good son, but I
think husband's mother would'vejust gotten herself after this.
Erika (15:12):
Yeah, I don't understand why she made such a big deal.
Mean, come on, I'm sorry. If Iwas the choice to make between
my mother-in-law and mother togo in there, I would say my
mother. Because, you know,that's my mom. Yeah.
Just like if Shelley or Michellewas to give birth, they will
pick your mom because that'stheir mom. Mhmm. Like you can't
yeah. You can't expect your forthem to pick the mother-in-law.
(15:34):
Like, that's just weird.
Mhmm. Okay. So the top commentis ruined her moment. I'm sorry.
Was she only also spreadingwhite on the table in labor?
She's had her moment. Not theasshole, but your mother-in-law
and your husband are huge ones.Your wishes should have been
followed with no argument. Yourhusband is a jerk to behave this
way. I would think long and hardabout what your future would
(15:57):
look like after this incident.
He should have been comfortingand catering to your needs and
not what his mom wanted. Or doyou break up? I mean, I would
break up. I would be like theworst.
Edgar (16:09):
Yeah, I mean, I'm not a woman in Nevada. Feel like it's
something that But like, youwere
Erika (16:13):
in that situation.
Edgar (16:14):
Yeah, I think for me, the recording even isn't that,
wouldn't be breakup worthy.That's just kinda like, you're a
dick for doing that, but notbeing with the child after
That's basically abandoning yourfamily for a little bit, even if
it's not the entire life, butstill, yeah. It's still pretty
messed up. It's something thatyou'd break up over.
Erika (16:34):
Yeah, mean I think that's break up worthy, especially if
he just didn't pick mind you,she said they texted him saying
that to pick him up after thehospital and he didn't.
Edgar (16:43):
Like
Erika (16:44):
I would be like that's it, that's the last straw. Like,
was already, like, alreadystruggling when with the
mother-in-law and all that crapand then you didn't pick me up
and then you completelyabandoned me. Like, nah. Yeah.
It's over, dude.
Three strikes and you're out.Final verdict. She's not the
(17:04):
asshole but the husband and themother-in-law is. I think she's
better off honestly.
Edgar (17:08):
Yeah, agreed.
Erika (17:10):
So the next story is Emma the asshole for walking out on
my own birthday dinner myfiance's little surprise. So
last night was my 20 birthday.My fiance's Brian planned this
surprise dinner at a really nicerestaurant with my friends and
some of my family. I'm not hugeon big attention, but I thought,
okay, maybe he's doing somethingthoughtful for once. Dinner was
(17:33):
going fine, food's good, I'mchilling.
And then right before dessert,Brian stands out and starts
doing this whole speech at howproud he is of me and how he got
me a gift that changed my life.And then he says he paid off my
student loans. At first I was inshock. I actually teared up,
everyone clapped and my mom wascrying. I was about to stand up
(17:54):
and hug him, then he adds thathe only paid half of it and that
the other half is on me becausehe wants me to learn how to be
financially responsible and notrely on other people to fix my
problems.
Like, what? He basically turnedmy birthday into a public
lecture. People were laughinglike it was some cute life
lesson. My cousin was like,Damn, that's tough love. Just
(18:18):
sat there frozen and stood up,took my purse, and walked right
out.
He came running after me like,What's wrong? He was trying to
be helpful and he didn't meanfor me to be upset. I told him
he was embarrassing me, used mydepth to make a point in front
of everyone, and I wasn't in themood to be in someone's
teachable moment. Now a fewpeople are saying I overreacted
(18:41):
and that he meant well. If youwant to help, just help.
Don't use this to humiliate mein front of 20 people. Am I the
asshole?
Edgar (18:50):
Yeah, not really. I mean, there's a time and place for
lessons and not in front of allyour friends and family. I feel
like it also is a little bittacky to have a whole dinner
just to say, I just paid offthis much money, look how much
money I have to do this. That'sa little bit tacky in the first
place, but to also, on top ofthat, just kind of publicly
humiliate your wife. It's like alittle bit of a board.
(19:15):
It's like dickish, very dickish.
Erika (19:16):
Yeah, I feel like it's a power move. It's like, oh, I
have this over you. Like, I'mgonna pay your half of your, you
know
Edgar (19:25):
No. But I don't even think it's like a full power
move because at first, he said,I'm gonna pay off all her debt.
And then she walked it backimmediately. Like, that's just
like
Erika (19:33):
It's kinda funny. Like, it's just crazy. I don't
understand what his, like, realintention was here just to show
off that he could do he couldhave done that, but he wants to
teach her a lesson.
Edgar (19:45):
I know. Yeah. It's it's kinda stupid. Like, if you wanna
actually give her a lesson, youcould just do that in private.
Like, I feel like that wouldhave been more respect
receptive.
Erika (19:52):
And respectful.
Edgar (19:53):
And respectful. Yeah, respectful.
Erika (19:55):
Yeah, I don't understand that. I think he's a complete
asshole. Mhmm. I would have justleft him right there and be
like, goodbye, we're not gettingmarried. Go find somebody else
to teach you a lesson.
Edgar (20:04):
Bro. I'm serious. Brian's screwed up.
Erika (20:07):
No, I think this is just so, I don't know, it's so
childish that it's just, Iwouldn't be able to look past
it.
Edgar (20:17):
Yeah, mean, when I break up over this, I would just be
very pissed and I guessreconsider, just because I guess
it's just kind of toochauvinistic.
Erika (20:28):
I feel like I would say So I bet people in the comments
would be like, I just stayedwith him so he could pay half
and then break up with his ass.
Edgar (20:38):
That sounds like something better would say.
Erika (20:40):
Yeah, but I would just, I wouldn't even. I think it's
something I can overlook, that'sjust messed up.
Edgar (20:46):
Yeah, it's weird.
Erika (20:47):
So the top comment is, in your story you wrote that he did
something thoughtful for once.Are you sure you should be
marrying this man? He made ajoke about your situation in
front of a load of people. So Ihave to question whether he's
right for you at all. Not theasshole.
Edgar (21:02):
I guess that's a
Erika (21:04):
good that's
Edgar (21:05):
what I'm Good point. He's probably like a dick in general.
Erika (21:08):
Yeah, I think he just tries to use money to teach
people a lesson constantly. Ithink that's just how it's gonna
be in their relationship. So Imean, does she wanna live that
way? I don't think so. At leastI wouldn't.
Edgar (21:21):
It sounds like an annoying way to live.
Erika (21:22):
Yeah, just because he has money doesn't mean anything.
Edgar (21:25):
So final verdict?
Erika (21:28):
He is an asshole. She is not.
Edgar (21:31):
Yeah, definitely agreed. Time and place for everything.
Erika (21:34):
Yeah, definitely not for 20 people.
Edgar (21:37):
So the next story is titled
thirteen years is cheating, nowwhat? So we've been together for
nineteen years, married forthirteen. Obviously had
arguments and disagreements overall these years but nothing that
would make me think this is it.I can't be with her anymore. We
have a 10 old daughter soeverything has been rough the
(21:57):
past year.
It's our first baby, lots ofstress and sleepless nights. I
work and my wife doesn't andshe's home with my daughter
during the day, so I understandhow hard it's been on her. I'm
no saint and not perfect, but Ihelp a lot when I'm home, but
she's still doing most of thework. We're very close with
another couple, have known themfor eight to nine years. They
(22:19):
are at our ages and have a 1.5year old and we hang out with
each other a lot.
The four of us have been on manytrips and had sad and fun times
together and have become evencloser since having kids. Since
we've known them for almost nineyears, I really think of the guy
as my brother, think of his wifeas my sister, and loved his son
(22:39):
to death, just like my ownchild. My wife and I have been
even talking about asking themto be godparents for our
daughter. My wife and thehusband play volleyball
professionally, except for twoand three months before and
after our daughter was born.They've been playing three times
a week, going to different gyms.
My wife is really good andcompetitive and volleyball is
like a therapy for her. Soobviously I've been encouraging
(23:01):
and supporting her and it'sreally helped her after the
pregnancy. Sometimes he comesand picks up my wife, sometimes
my wife goes and picks him up.The thought of them doing
something other than volleyballhad never even crossed my mind.
Naive.
Erika (23:15):
I know.
Edgar (23:16):
So a few nights ago in bed my wife fell asleep and her
phone with her phone in herhand. I picked it up to put it
on charge next to her and I sawwhat shattered my whole life.
Her text messages with the guy.Last messages were kisses and
her heart saying goodnight toeach other and how much they
love each other. My heart waspumping, still not sure what was
(23:39):
going on, hoping that maybe it'soff from his side, but nope.
My wife was also expressing loveand affection to him and telling
him how much she can't waituntil next time they see each
other to be in his arms. Ireally couldn't read much of the
next texts as I was processinganger, betrayal, frustration,
disbelief. But few of the textsI read, it seemed like the guy
(24:02):
always had a crush on my wifesince nine years ago, that we
all met each other, but neverexpressed anything until one and
a half years ago that somethinghappened and their relationship
started. I really couldn'tcontinue reading as I was almost
furrowing up so I put her phonedown and went to bed. Couldn't
sleep at all that night and thenights since then.
(24:23):
Obviously this is all I've beenthinking about every day and all
day, but I can't help myself notto think about that our daughter
of 10 old and all of this isjust a messed up situation. We
actively tried to conceive backthen, but still, what if? What
else could have happened in thepast year and a half? I have so
(24:45):
many questions but don't reallyknow what to do next. I love her
to death until discovering allthis, but I am now disgusted
every time I see her.
Every time I play with mydaughter and kiss her and see
her smiling, I just can't helpbut cry and think how my selfish
wife has ruined the life of thisinnocent pure little angel's
life. I would still love mydaughter even if she's not mine
and I can't think of being apartfrom her for a second, but what
(25:08):
if? Not sure what to do next.Part of me wants to comfort her
and know the truth. Part of mewants to work it out, try to
understand her reasons and workto recover from this and save
our marriage.
Part of me wants to punch thepiece of shit guy in the face.
Part of me wants to divorceASAP. And part of me wants to
sneak around and find out moreabout their relationship and how
far it goes before confrontingthem. Part of me wants to warn
(25:30):
the guy's wife, I feel sorry forruining her life, so yeah. What
do I do now?
Erika (25:35):
What advice would you give him?
Edgar (25:38):
I think first she'd find the paternity of the child, like
his child, is that what it be?
Erika (25:42):
DNA test.
Edgar (25:43):
Yeah, mean even if she's not his daughter, I feel like if
he still wants to be a part ofher life however he can, he can
do that. But I think it's alsoimportant for him because right
now he's kind of tied to thatrelationship because they have a
kid together, or supposedly theyhave a kid together. But I think
(26:04):
it's important for him to knowand also just to confront the
wife. It's pretty serious. Itseems like the wife and the
other guy, they're probablybetter off together than them.
Erika (26:15):
Yeah, I agree with you. I think he should screenshot
everything, get proof that she'sthe one cheating. So So when it
comes down to custody though, hecould have a higher chance of
being able to be more in thedaughter's life or even full
custody if that's the case.
Edgar (26:31):
It's also just a protection to get audit proof
because he shouldn't be payingalimony or any divorce
settlements. Cause it's not hisfault that the relationship is
ending, it's the wife's fault.Do think that OP should tell the
other guy's wife as well?
Erika (26:47):
I think he should get all his ducks in the row first
before trying to warn anybodyelse or expose the truth.
Because, you know, it couldbackfire and then the wife could
know and yeah. I think he shouldget his stuff situated first and
then if he wants to tell theother wife, so be it. Yeah. So
that way she can also, you know,get, you know, be be prepared
(27:10):
for divorce as well.
Unless she wants to try to workit out, you know, to each its
own. I wouldn't do that, butyeah.
Edgar (27:17):
Yeah, same here. I think, yeah. Just start with himself
first, try to get on an equalfooting. But yeah, basically his
life with his wife at this pointis over. He can't really go back
from that.
Erika (27:27):
That's so messed up. I don't understand if people
cheat. Do you think about yourchildren? Do you not care if
they have a mom and dad? I don'tget it.
So the top comment is documenteverything. Get DNA tests to
make sure your daughter isactually yours. Lawyer her up
ASAP and listen to what theytell you to do. Right now is the
(27:53):
time to be cold and calculated.You can grieve your loss once
you set yourself up for the bestpossible outcome.
Even though the cheating doesn'tmatter in California, collect
the evidence anyway. You don'tknow how she's going to react.
She may try to go out and slapyou. She might try to tell
everyone a fake story or claimyou cheated. She may take it to
(28:16):
social media.
You need proof in case she doessomething stupid so you can
defend yourself. Get the DNAtoday. You are on a timer now.
If you are not the father, youneed to get your name off the
birth certificate before thechild becomes your burden for
life. Let this come back pay forhis mistake.
Lastly, once you are lawyer up,tell your friend. She deserves
(28:39):
to know. Lastly, once you areloaded up, tell the friend. She
deserves to know. Good luck.
This is gonna suck. See atherapist as soon as you can.
Edgar (28:57):
Yeah. I mean, he has to commence destruction of
everything at the moment, justbecause it's better for everyone
in the long term. Like it sucksin the short term, everyone's
gonna be all mixed up, all thefamilies are gonna be all over
the place, but I think they'llbe in a better spot later on.
Erika (29:14):
Yeah, I agree.
Edgar (29:16):
We can get it with the guy's wife, because they're
already friends.
Erika (29:21):
Yeah, maybe, I don't know. But I still it would be
nice so that way they're bothgoing through the same thing.
Edgar (29:27):
If anything, I don't see how they would stop being
friends from this. They can justcope together, you know, because
they both lost very importantpeople in their life.
Erika (29:37):
Or maybe people, I mean, you could see it that way, or
you could see it as the otherperson is the reminder of the
significant other that cheatedon them. So it could go both
ways. At this point it wouldjust get his self situated to
help the other person for
Edgar (29:54):
a second. Final verdict?
Erika (29:58):
Would say both of them, the friend is the asshole and
the husband. I think it's one ofthe fine lines of having
friendships. I think it'samazing to have
Edgar (30:11):
Yeah, a close family friend like that.
Erika (30:13):
But you just never know. You know, it's just one of those
things where maybe he developsfeelings and you know, she
doesn't reciprocate and theneventually she will. So it's
just one of those things thatyou have to keep in mind. Sure
have friends but have a limit.
Edgar (30:29):
Yeah, have some boundaries. Yeah. Agreed OP is
not the asshole but yeah, theother two shooters are.
Erika (30:35):
Yep, 100%. So the next story is, Emma the Asshole for
yelling at my aunt after shekept pressuring me to marry her
son. I'm 24 female fromPakistan. Here, cousin marriages
are common, and my aunt keepspressuring me to marry her son,
25 male, since I was a teen.This started in my teen years.
(30:56):
My aunt would start making jokessuch as you'll be such a good
daughter-in-law or you and herson's name would make a good
couple, etc. I used to brush itoff then, ignore it and such
hoping it would stop, but theynever did. Instead of it
starting being more common, shestarted doing it every time we
(31:18):
met. I've shut her downpolitely, every time, saying I'm
not interested and it won't everhappen. My mom knew how much it
bothered me.
She didn't want to bedisrespectful to her elders, so
she kept quiet and only spokeabout it in private when my aunt
messaged her. My mom told me tokeep quiet and ignore because
she won't let it happen. Thiswas very uncomfortable. This
(31:41):
whole thing gave me whole thinggave my cousin some wrong ideas
because he started messaging mein private saying things like,
We're getting married in thefuture, so why are not talking
to me now? I just ghosted himand ignored his messages.
Just a few years ago, I lost mytemper at a family gathering
after my aunt said, You're allgrown up now. When are you gonna
(32:04):
marry him? Our decision isfinal. The strong feeling of the
and cringe just made me lashout. I yelled at my aunt calling
her Calling her stupid for notlistening to me and
understanding what no means.
I used mild swear words as welland it was a whole heated
(32:25):
argument. To the end, theargument my brother had to
physically carry me out of thehouse, where I had a breakdown
and we all just left her house.My mom was hurt by this a lot
and I could feel the pain in hervoice whenever we spoke about
this. She said she just wishes Ihandled it differently. After
(32:48):
this came a series of unwantedtoxicity and drama.
My aunt yelled at my mom, makingher look like a terrible person
for letting that happen and cutoff all ties. She influenced
mom's oldest sister and brotherto do the same. My cousin got
married to someone else and wefound out about it through
someone else. He got married anddivorced just later that year
(33:10):
and somehow my aunt managed topartially blame me. Yo, the
audacity.
Edgar (33:18):
I know, yeah.
Erika (33:20):
Some people are so dumb, okay. And mom for that divorce,
even though we played no part init. My mom deals with her
siblings often and sometimesthey drag her into dramas. I've
seen her cry in her room alonebecause of this and it makes me
feel bad. I feel like I shouldhave done better or done things
differently for the sake of mymom.
(33:41):
All this toxicity and dramawould have been avoided if I did
things different.
Edgar (33:47):
I don't think, yeah, I think the drama and the toxicity
would have happened regardlessof how she handled this. The
only way the toxicity would haveended is if she actually married
the cousin, but it looks likethe cousin isn't really a good
(34:07):
husband if she got divorcedwithin a year of marrying
someone else.
Erika (34:11):
Imagine, that's so shameful.
Edgar (34:14):
I know, it just says a lot about the cousin in general.
He's just probably weird or justlike not a good guy in the first
place. Not real catch.
Erika (34:24):
And then the fact that the it blames the mom and her.
For what? For your son being afailure? Not a good person? That
he couldn't even keep a wife ayear?
Edgar (34:35):
I know.
Erika (34:36):
Like what do you mean it's your fault in your mom's? I
think the culture it's a littlebit much more obviously
different than our culture. Ijust think everybody has their
own culture and I'm nobody tojudge and everybody does their
own thing and that's great. Butin my perspective, as somebody
(34:58):
that doesn't really follow thatculture, I just feel bad. I feel
bad because I mean I think ifonly the aunt would understand
that that's not going to happenor no means no and that
continuously for years to bullyher or like basically the man
for her to marry her son isinsane to me.
And she's not supposed to sayanything, you're supposed to
(35:21):
stay quiet and just you know letit happen. It's just so
frustrating. Especially becausein our culture you say no no, no
means no, that's it.
Edgar (35:29):
Yeah, If the aunt really wanted this to have happened,
she shouldn't have pressed it somuch for so long. If she wanted
it to actually be a thing, Ifeel like she should have set it
up more tactically with thecousins, just have them interact
more better rather than tryingto force something to happen,
you know? That way they grow oneach other, not like oh, just
forcing that they actually likeeach other when they don't.
Erika (35:52):
Exactly.
Edgar (35:53):
Or they're not even that close yet, you know?
Erika (35:55):
Yeah, I mean, cousin cousin marriage is crazy to me,
but once again, it's common intheir culture, so know it's not
a problem.
Edgar (36:02):
At least do it better if they're gonna try and do that.
Erika (36:04):
Yeah, if she would've been smart, she would've done it
differently. I think it wouldn'thave been such a huge deal.
Edgar (36:11):
Yeah, think yeah.
Erika (36:12):
And let's say they were dating, they didn't like each
other, there's no something thatthey have to get married. It's
just one of those things where Ithink the mother is not at fault
here either.
Edgar (36:23):
OP and his mother have no stake in this in terms of all
the toxicity is coming to themjust because of how everyone
else is reacting, not from whatthey are doing that's wrong.
Erika (36:37):
I do think that she was in the wrong for just calling
her stupid. Yeah. I thinkregardless of how frustrating it
is or how people can really getunder your skin, I think you
should have at least some typeof respect because she's your
elder. And you know, when youact out like that in front of
your family, especially, youknow, your aunt or whatever, it
(36:58):
shows that your parents didn'traise you well, basically.
Edgar (37:02):
You know
Erika (37:02):
what I mean? So I think she should've just said, you
know, I'm not interested andthat's it.
Edgar (37:08):
Yeah.
Erika (37:09):
It would've cost, you know, it would've been a little
bit better and she wouldn't'vebeen shunned by all her siblings
either.
Edgar (37:14):
So
Erika (37:16):
the top comment is not the asshole at all. Your aunt
has some weird delusion thatafter you said no a hundred
times, you were still going tomarry him. You are your own
person and deserve respect. Youshould be telling anyone who no
should be
Edgar (37:33):
No one.
Erika (37:34):
No one should be yelling no one should be telling anyone
who to marry. Heck, you don'thave to marry at all if you
don't want to. Yeah. Exactly.
Edgar (37:47):
So, final verdict on this?
Erika (37:50):
No, you're not the asshole. I think she pushed you
to the point of breaking, youknow, I just would've used a
little bit better words there.
Edgar (38:00):
Yeah, definitely Opry isn't really an asshole in this
situation. If she was just atiny bit more respectful, maybe
like
Erika (38:06):
It would have been different, yeah.
Edgar (38:08):
They would still be mad at her, but it just gives them
more ammo.
Erika (38:14):
Yeah, exactly.
Edgar (38:16):
The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Yelling
That I Have Nothing to Do withMy Ex's Unborn Child Because I
Am Not the Mother. I, 25 female,was in an on and off
relationship with Jeremy, twentyseven male, for over four years.
What I mean by this is that wenever seriously dated, but we
(38:36):
were exclusive. No sleeping withothers, and that wasn't because
we were planning to be togetherat the end, but to reduce the
risk of pregnancies andpaternity questioning. I had met
his family a few times.
They liked me, but I wasn'taround them very much, kind of
(39:00):
at the point of being casual andeverything. Billings did develop
near the end of our on and offagain period, but we broke up
for real for six months. He toldme he didn't want it to end. I
wasn't sure he was seriousenough about making a serious
relationship work. I told himthat and I was close, I was open
(39:20):
to one but some of his actionsmade me doubt.
Four months ago he came to meand told me he had worked on
himself and he was ready to be atrue partner. We talked it all
and we got back together forreal this time. I spent some
time around his family this timeand we talked about the future
and our goals. Two months intoour serious relationship, his
(39:41):
ex, from before the start of ouroriginal relationship, announced
she was pregnant and that thetwo of them had slept together
while he and I were broken upfor the six month period. He
didn't deny it, but he said hedidn't want her.
It was blowing off steam oneweekend and how he was still
committed to me and there wouldbe nobody else because I was it
(40:02):
for him. I told him I didn'twant to be involved in a baby
thing, that he was having a kidand I wasn't and I was out.
Since that point, he hadrepeatedly tried to get me to
change my mind. The mother ofhis child has tried to talk to
me so she can yell about howunfair it is, and his family
have begged me to come back,that they loved me and never
(40:24):
liked her, and how he and thebaby need me and they need me,
and they don't want to be leftdealing with the actual mother
and how good of a mom I wouldbe.
Erika (40:34):
Oh my god.
Edgar (40:35):
So yeah, a lot of begging. But I was blocking
people all over the place.That's crazy.
Erika (40:41):
I would too, what the hell?
Edgar (40:42):
But in the end I lost my temper and I set up a group chat
with all of them on a differentnumber and yelled in a voice
message that I am not the motherof my ex's unborn child and
therefore I have nothing to dowith this baby or the situation
and I won't take him back. Iwon't have anything to do with
this and if telling them all atonce needed to happen then here
(41:03):
it was. I stayed in the groupfor a few hours before growing
tired of the mother of the childbeing outraged that I would
speak to her like that, where myex was pleading and saying I
couldn't dump him when he didn'tcheat, and his family saying how
unfair I was being and howunneeded this was. Now I kind of
regret doing it because I wonderif they actually leave me alone
(41:26):
or still look for ways tocontact me, and it might be more
pissy than before. Am I theasshole?
No. This is just ridiculous. Imean, think OP and her ex, I
think they're both trash, interms of people. Everyone in
this story seems to be Very verytrashy. I think it's delusional
(41:51):
for OP's ex and his entirefamily, the entire side to
believe that, oh, we need OPback.
No, that's just not how itworks. Clearly OP's ex cheated
as well.
Erika (42:04):
Yes. And the fact that everybody wants her to raise the
baby because she's gonna be abetter mother, like, what do you
even mean? What is in theirminds? Like, in their head? And
then he's saying
Edgar (42:17):
It's sub 100 IQ Clearly.
Erika (42:34):
Thank god this happened. You got rid of some crazy ass
people there, Imagine
Edgar (42:41):
having like a whole, just that entire side of your family
is just like, is it stupid?
Erika (42:46):
I think how do you even respond? Oh my god. I would just
block them all like she did.
Edgar (42:50):
Mhmm.
Erika (42:51):
There's no reason to waste your time with people like
that. So the top comment istotally not the asshole. Not
your circus, not your monkeys.Just go no contact with anybody,
with everyone at this point.Exactly.
Edgar (43:06):
Basically, yeah.
Erika (43:07):
I would too.
Edgar (43:08):
It's pretty ridiculous.
Erika (43:09):
That's what you would do, right?
Edgar (43:10):
Yeah, because it's just crazy.
Erika (43:12):
You would actually go back to the with the person? No.
Good. I think you always, Idon't know, from every time we
had a story, I feel like yourresponse is more like, Oh, but
that's not break up worthy.Like, you forgive so much.
Edgar (43:26):
Yeah, but this is like, you're dealing with people that
are like, crazy, mentallyunsound.
Erika (43:33):
Thank goodness you get to realize that. I don't know.
Edgar (43:35):
It's a straight graphic worry.
Erika (43:38):
I don't know, I think you're very forgiving, which I
love that about you, but I don'tknow, I'm just not very
forgiving, I guess.
Edgar (43:45):
So, final verdict?
Erika (43:49):
Yeah, you're not the asshole girl, run.
Edgar (43:51):
I hope you, yeah.
Erika (43:51):
Run and never look back.
Edgar (43:53):
Yeah, fake your death, change your identity.
Erika (43:57):
For real. Okay, so this is the last story. Am I the
asshole for destroying my bestfriend's proposal because I
believe she was being kidnapped?This actually
Edgar (44:09):
Someone must be off the meds.
Erika (44:11):
You're so crazy. So this actually happened last weekend
and I'm still shaking. My bestfriend Emily, twenty nine
female, had been dating herboyfriend Chris, thirty one
male, for about four years. I,28 female, love her to death and
have always supported therelationship even though Chris
(44:33):
is eccentric. He loves surprisesand stuff.
Think flash mobs and scavengerhunts that no one asked for.
Edgar (44:41):
So a nuisance.
Erika (44:43):
I think that's fun.
Edgar (44:44):
That's not a I
Erika (44:45):
think that's fun. Anyway, oh he reminds me of Raj from The
Big Bang Theory.
Edgar (44:50):
So a nuisance?
Erika (44:51):
Stop! I like his character. Anyways, he's a
little bit feminine, but youknow. Anyways, I was visiting
Emily. We were walking aroundcatching up when this unmarked
white van comes up next to us.
Two masked men jump out and grabher. She begins screaming, I
freak out! So I did what anysafe, frightened human being
(45:13):
would do. Grabbed
Edgar (45:15):
my gun.
Erika (45:17):
I grabbed my pepper spray, legal where I am, and
yelled bloody murder and wentwild. Sprayed one dude in the
face, kicked the other one inthe shin, and literally pulled
Emily back by the colt whileyelling for 911. Turned out
Chris and two of his buddies,They were attempting this
(45:38):
strange prank connecting intosurprise proposal situation
because Emily wanted a proposallike in the movies. Chris was
yelling crying over the pepperspray. Emily was scared while
the cops arrived.
It was chaotic. Now Chris isangry. He tells me I ruined the
most significant moment of theirlives and I embarrass him in
(46:00):
front of everyone. Emily tellsme she understands why I freaked
out but wishes I read the room.But like, what?
Oh my gosh.
Edgar (46:10):
This is what happens when you have like two people in a
relationship and they're bothstupid.
Erika (46:13):
Oh, bye Emily. Bye. Oh, but like how was I but how was I
supposed to know? It seemedreal. She was crying.
They had masks and it literallywas a van.
Edgar (46:27):
A white van. Yeah.
Erika (46:28):
With no what is it?
Edgar (46:32):
License plate?
Erika (46:32):
Yeah. Everyone's acting like I overreacted, but I
genuinely thought she was beingtrafficked. Am I the asshole for
spawning the proposal?
Edgar (46:41):
Yeah, LP is not the asshole in this. This is what
happens when you have a nuisanceperson. They can be above the
law and and they can just do allthis crazy stuff, and there'll
be no consequences. Yeah. Thisis a natural escalation of
everything that's beenhappening.
Erika (46:57):
I think everybody if he wants to be eccentric and wants
to do scavenger hunts and wantsto do crazy, fast mobs, great.
You know, you're not hurtinganybody. But when you go into
trying to kidnap her, I'm sorry,but that's just crazy to me. I I
I would be freaking out too. Howwould you react?
I would do the I would literallyfeel like she's been trafficked.
(47:20):
I would have done anythingpossible to beat them up or like
try to get rid of it and call911. Mhmm. I mean it's just one
of those things where you knowyou can't really know it's fake.
How can she read the room?
Edgar (47:31):
I know, yeah, Emily is crazy for that statement.
Erika (47:34):
Yeah, so the top comment is read the room. Read the room.
Two guys snatched up yourscreaming friend on the street
and telling you to read theroom? What if someone else had
called 911? What if someone elseon the street saw and just
started wailing on them?
What if other people startedgoing on local media about girls
(47:55):
getting grabbed? This was apoorly conceived prank proposal,
and you didn't what anybody elseshould have done. Not the
asshole. Your friend and herboyfriend are dumbasses. Yeah.
I think at this point, the wholeAccenture thing is fine, but
doing kidnapping is justcrossing the line.
Edgar (48:17):
Is that the final verdict?
Erika (48:18):
She is definitely not the asshole.
Edgar (48:22):
Same here, yeah. I mean, they're still gonna get married,
those two. So I pray to God thattheir child is half as stupid as
both of them.
Erika (48:31):
I just, I don't even know. Mean, they wanted to do
something like that, maybe ifEmily was alone, it would have
been fine and nobody's gonnakick or do something to ruin it.
Like, don't get it.
Edgar (48:43):
Yeah.
Erika (48:44):
Okay. So, that's all the stories we have today. Thank you
for tuning in this week'sepisode. Check out our website
www.yappings.com and join ourmail for updates. If you love
our podcast and want to supportus, subscribe and share it to
your friends and family.
We would appreciate this somuch.
Edgar (49:02):
Also, we started a Facebook group called AITA
Relationship and Family Drama,linked in the description. Join
us so you can share a mightyasshole stories you like or
share your own stories for us toall judge. We may even read a
few posts in one of our episodesif you're lucky.
Erika (49:18):
Thank you. Bye!
Yapping!
Erika (00:03):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:05):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:06):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with the yap- worthy stories wefind around the web. Today's
theme is hijacked milestones.The first story is, Am I the
Asshole for Walking Out on MyBirthday Dinner Because My
Girlfriend Turned It Into HerCelebration. So, I'm a 25 male
(00:29):
and my birthday was lastweekend.
I don't usually do anything big,but this year a bunch of my
friends were in town, and mygirlfriend, 35 female, offered
to plan something. I wasgenuinely excited. She made me
dinner and reservations at anice place I've been wanting to
try and said she had a littlesurprise planned. The surprise
(00:51):
was that she invited a bunch ofher friends, like six of them,
people I barely know, one ofthem I actually dislike because
she used to hit on me when mygirlfriend and I first started
dating. My girlfriend brushed itoff saying it would make things
more fun and lively.
Whatever. I tried to roll withit, but then at dinner it just
(01:12):
got worse. She spent the entiretime talking to her friends. I
was seated at the far end of thetable next to two people I've
never met. She didn't even sitnext to me.
When the food came, they alltoasted her for organizing
everything and started talkingabout her upcoming promotion.
Her best friend gave a speechabout how she deserves all the
(01:35):
happiness in the world. Not onemention of me or my birthday. No
cake, no toast, no happybirthday, nothing. I literally
just sat there while everyonegushed over her for two hours.
Eventually I got up, paid for myportion of the meal, said I
wasn't feeling well, and left. Ididn't make a scene or yell, I
(01:56):
just quietly left. Later shetexted me saying I embarrassed
her in front of her friends andruined the night. She said she
tried really hard to make itspecial and I was being really
ungrateful. A few of her friendshave messaged me saying I was
being immature and it wasn'tthat deep.
But I don't know man, is itcrazy to think my birthday
should have been at least alittle bit about me? Am I the
(02:17):
asshole?
Edgar (02:18):
I feel like she didn't leave as quietly as she thinks
she did because everyonenoticed.
Erika (02:23):
It's a he.
Edgar (02:24):
Oh he, sounded like a she. But yeah, think he probably
left a lot more upset than helet on and that's why everyone's
upset with him. But also it waskind of messed up in his own
birthday that no one reallyacknowledged it. It was just
basically an average learner.
Erika (02:43):
Would you have done the same and left?
Edgar (02:45):
Probably not. I'm not big on my birthday.
Erika (02:48):
So you wouldn't have cared?
Edgar (02:50):
Not too much yet. Poor Lila.
Erika (02:54):
She herself under the table.
Edgar (02:58):
How about you? How do you feel about this?
Erika (02:59):
I would be really upset but I would express my feelings.
I wouldn't just stay quiet.
Edgar (03:04):
So you would have yelled at everyone on the table? No, I
wouldn't.
Erika (03:07):
Okay, there's a difference between expressing
and yelling. I would have justsaid
Edgar (03:12):
that everyone out of our conversation? No. Over dinner?
Feel like that's
Erika (03:17):
like there's like
Edgar (03:18):
no way to tell everybody how upset you in the dinner
table or if I was sounding likeyou're
Erika (03:25):
No, I would have said, Hey babe, I need to talk to you
for a little bit. And then Iwould have talked outside or
somewhere else and I would havesaid, This is my birthday
dinner. There's nobody here ofmy friends that are available.
It's only all your friends. AndI'm not even sitting next to
you.
I don't feel like really we'recelebrating me for my birthday.
(03:46):
I mean, if she gets upset, it'sbecause she's an asshole here.
Mhmm. But if if, for example,she didn't mean it to be that
way, then she would've said,okay, I'm sorry. You know,
let's, you know, sing happybirthday or whatever.
Yeah. Be understanding. But youdon't have to make it in a scene
or do it in front of everybody.Just quietly say, Hey, need to
(04:08):
talk to you. Privately talk toyour significant other.
Edgar (04:13):
Yeah. He should've handled it better, you know?
Erika (04:16):
Yeah, I mean I wouldn't have left like that. I mean, I
wouldn't say, I don't think shereally put in the effort to
celebrate his birthday becausetechnically all the people that
are there are for her and notfor him. Mhmm. So she really
just planned it for herself.
Edgar (04:32):
Yeah, mean it's pretty clear from the context we're
given that OP was pissed offabout what happened, but also
his girlfriend didn't reallyhelp the situation.
Erika (04:43):
No, I think she was trying to kill two birds and one
stone but that's not how itworks. When somebody's birthday
it's for you to celebrate thatperson's birthday, not you too.
She could've done a separatedinner for celebrating her
promotion. Why did it have to bein his birthday?
Edgar (04:58):
Yeah.
Erika (04:59):
So, yeah, she was very selfish. So the top comment is,
not the asshole. She didn'tthrow you a birthday dinner, she
threw herself a dinner, butdecided she could kill two birds
with one stone if she lied andsaid it was you.
Edgar (05:11):
Exactly.
Erika (05:12):
It was for you, yeah. Yeah, she's the asshole I
Edgar (05:17):
think yeah, I mean, this is something that I don't think
that, yeah. I don't think it'sreally an offense to break over,
but
Erika (05:27):
You would still stay with him?
Edgar (05:28):
Yeah, it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe they
thought this was gonna turn outa lot smoother than how it came
out. I feel like in OP'sgirlfriend's brain it was
probably gonna be like, Okay,I'm gonna celebrate these two
things and he'll be happy andI'll be happy, but it seems like
his birthday was just totallyovershadowed by her promotion
and whatever she had going on,and it didn't quite turn out how
(05:49):
she expected it. Because try todo two birds with one stone
unless you at least believe thatit's actually going to
accomplish both tasks at thesame time, optimally.
Erika (06:04):
Okay, so my way of thinking is this. So, for
example, if a girl did this fora guy, I would say she's selfish
and she just really just wantedto do something for herself and
didn't wanna really put too mucheffort on her boyfriend. Because
for me, I would, if it's foryour birthday celebration, I
(06:25):
will invite your friends and notmy friends. That's for me, it's
literally implication that youwanna have people that my
boyfriend knows and that shewould be happy that they're
there because that's his friendsand his family or whatever.
Edgar (06:39):
Yeah.
Erika (06:39):
So that to me that she didn't do that is just basically
I I don't understand what whatshe expected. You know I mean? I
I don't I don't get it. And thenif a guy like if it was the guy
that did this for the girl,then, you know, I could kinda
understand because it's guys, Ifeel like they they kinda have a
(06:59):
once mindset thing. Like, youknow
Edgar (07:01):
So you think that's because she's like a woman?
Erika (07:04):
Yeah,
Edgar (07:04):
because there She knew the situation more clearly and
Erika (07:08):
she probably
Edgar (07:09):
knew the outcome of it. I guess maybe, yeah. But also, how
much of his friends does sheactually know?
Erika (07:15):
Exactly, that's what I'm saying. So that's what I'm
saying for the guy too. It'skinda weird to be like, hey,
unless, you know, they've meteach other more like the best
friends or two or three of them.They could be invited but still,
you know what I mean? Like,it's, you know, you have
Facebook.
You don't need to have anybody'sphone number here. It is so much
easier to get in contact witheverybody than anybody, you
(07:37):
know. Just back then you had toreally kneel the phone number.
Edgar (07:40):
Yeah.
Erika (07:41):
So I don't know, just feel like it's just one of those
things that she didn't reallytry. She just wanted her to take
the spotlight. It wasn't reallya celebration for the boyfriend.
So, honestly, I don't know if Iwould stay with her, I mean with
him, he did that to me. I thinkit would just be one of those
things where if he did anythingelse I'd be like, alright, peace
(08:04):
out.
Edgar (08:06):
I feel like it's not a big deal. Final verdict?
Erika (08:09):
I would say she's definitely the asshole. She did
not try hard enough to make herboyfriend's birthday special for
him.
Edgar (08:19):
Yeah, say OP is not the outsold but his girlfriend, yeah
she was the outsold but I thinkshe was trying to do two birds
with one stone but she was halfassing the OP's birthday.
Erika (08:32):
At least. I think I would have forgiven her if she at
least had three friends of his.
Edgar (08:38):
The next story is Am I the asshole for kicking my
husband and mother-in-law out ofthe Delivery Room. I, 27 female,
and my husband Dan, twenty ninemale, became parents eight weeks
ago. My whole pregnancy was noteasy due to placenta previa, but
I managed to make it to thirtyseven weeks. Something happened
(08:58):
during labor that I want anoutside perspective on. When I
went into labor, I called my momand told her, and my husband
called my mother-in-law and shealso told her.
We both agreed it would be justus at the hospital, but I was
shocked to see my mother-in-lawarriving to come help. I thanked
her for being there and Dan andI agreed that it would be just
(09:20):
us, but she said she came allthe way so it would be bad to
make her leave. I talked to Danand told her that I am not
comfortable with her beingthere, but he told me his mom is
just there for support. I calledmy mom to drive over because the
hospital has a limit of only twosupport persons in the Delivery
Room. When my mom arrived, Idiscussed with the nurses that
(09:41):
my mom and husband would be theonly ones allowed in the room.
I figured if I am going to haveone more person in the room, I
would rather it be my mom. Mymother-in-law threw a fit saying
I am excluding her from thebirth of her grandchild and that
I am selfish. She refused toleave and said my mom should
also be sent out and that I ampurposely leaving her out. My
(10:02):
mom, to avoid problems, said shewould be out with her in the
waiting room praying for us. Nowhere comes the real problem.
It was getting more intense andI saw my Dan recording me, so I
politely told him that I do notfeel comfortable being recorded.
Even when the nurse came tocheck how dilated I am, he
recorded it. I expressed to himthat this is bothering me and
(10:23):
that I want to labor with nocameras. He said to me, Since my
mom cannot be in here, I'llvideotape the whole thing for
her as she won't have to feellike she missed out. When it
came time to push, Dan had hisphone all over me and recorded
in my private areas.
I told the nurse to take thephone and please stop any
recordings, but he said I amspoiling the moment. I screamed
(10:46):
at him to get out and that I donot like it and a lovely RN
escorted him out because he wasputting stress on me. When we
were taken to recovery afterbirth, Dan did not bother
showing up and only came afterhours of me calling him. He
called me selfish and said Iexcluded him from the birth of
his son and excluded his mom andthat they both are very hurt.
(11:06):
His mom said that she has alwayswanted to witness his birth and
that this is her only son and Iruined the moment of her
grandchild being born.
I expressed how frustrated Ifelt being recorded and Dan not
considering me. They bothstormed out of the hospital
room. I am currently living withmy parents because Dan has not
come around. He has tried to getour son to sleep over but since
(11:27):
I am exclusively breastfed hecannot. Our son had some trouble
latching during the first twoweeks and we are still getting
the hang of it.
I do not want him to get used tothe bottle. I have talked to Dan
about me moving back to ourhouse, but he said there is a
lot we need to deal with first.By the way, I'm in my parents
house because when we weredischarged, Dan did not pick us
(11:47):
up. He has not seen our son in awhile now and does not bother to
check up on us. My dad did go bythe house to talk to him man to
man, but he was not home.
I hope we will be able to fixthings because before all of
this, he was a pretty decenthusband. I might ask him for
kicking my husband andmother-in-law out of the living
room. So yeah, clearly not. AndI think husband, Obi's husband,
(12:10):
is very inconsiderate. He'sacting very immature, I don't
get why he's acting this way,like basically abandoning his
family because his mother can'tbe in the delivery room during
birth.
Because not even OP's mother wasthere, so it's just kind of a
fair thing that was trying tohappen.
Erika (12:31):
Yeah, don't understand Dan here. I think he's just
being a child with a tantrum,Showing that he shouldn't, you
know, because you didn't let medo this, then I am leaving you.
Mhmm. It's not. Yeah.
Like, like, it's something youcould just throw away and it'll
be, like it don't matter.
Edgar (12:53):
I
Erika (12:54):
think he's just, his mother and Dan are complete
assholes because she's literallygiving birth.
Edgar (12:59):
Yeah, I know.
Erika (13:00):
Why are you stressing her out? She's, there's already, I
believe she mentioned that shehad placenta previa, which for
those who don't know is I havethe definition here. So placenta
previa is when the placentaattaches lower in the uterus.
Well this results in someportion of the placental tissue
(13:22):
covering the cervix, which canresult bleeding during the
pregnancy or during or afterdelivery. And it's a little bit
difficult to do a correction onits own too.
So, I mean, she's alreadystruggling with certain things
and then them he trying torecord her even though she
repeatedly said that
Edgar (13:40):
And it was like it was also pretty, like, messed up too
because, like, I I wouldn'twanna be recorded doing a
private thing like that. And hewas all up on there. Yeah. Like
weird.
Erika (13:49):
Yeah, like, let's say you wanna record it, but I will stay
Edgar (13:54):
At least feel I mean, if you don't have consent, just be
respectful about it.
Erika (13:58):
Yeah. Or like I was trying to say is like, you would
literally just record, her face.But like nothing, no private
areas. Because, you know, that'sprivate. You don't nobody wants
to see that.
Like, that's just wrong. And thefact that he ignored her
multiple times. And he's like,I'm doing this for my mom, just
because you kicked her out youhave to let me do this, is
basically what he was trying tosay, in other words. Yeah, so I
(14:23):
think he's a complete assholeand he, I I would be rethinking
a lot of things now, honestly.
Edgar (14:28):
Also, imagine OP's parents probably hate the guy
now as well.
Erika (14:35):
Yeah, I would not like him at all. Okay, because I
Edgar (14:39):
He has a lot of messed up happening over nothing.
Erika (14:42):
Yeah. And this something's something that's
supposed to be beautiful. Likesomething that you, you know, we
the husband's supposed to bepart of. And it should be
something that you're bothbringing life to in this world
and that you're, you know, in anew stage in your life. But it
was completely ruined by themother-in-law and him.
Edgar (14:59):
I know Opie's husband was trying to be a good son, but I
think husband's mother would'vejust gotten herself after this.
Erika (15:12):
Yeah, I don't understand why she made such a big deal.
Mean, come on, I'm sorry. If Iwas the choice to make between
my mother-in-law and mother togo in there, I would say my
mother. Because, you know,that's my mom. Yeah.
Just like if Shelley or Michellewas to give birth, they will
pick your mom because that'stheir mom. Mhmm. Like you can't
yeah. You can't expect your forthem to pick the mother-in-law.
(15:34):
Like, that's just weird.
Mhmm. Okay. So the top commentis ruined her moment. I'm sorry.
Was she only also spreadingwhite on the table in labor?
She's had her moment. Not theasshole, but your mother-in-law
and your husband are huge ones.Your wishes should have been
followed with no argument. Yourhusband is a jerk to behave this
way. I would think long and hardabout what your future would
(15:57):
look like after this incident.
He should have been comfortingand catering to your needs and
not what his mom wanted. Or doyou break up? I mean, I would
break up. I would be like theworst.
Edgar (16:09):
Yeah, I mean, I'm not a woman in Nevada. Feel like it's
something that But like, youwere
Erika (16:13):
in that situation.
Edgar (16:14):
Yeah, I think for me, the recording even isn't that,
wouldn't be breakup worthy.That's just kinda like, you're a
dick for doing that, but notbeing with the child after
That's basically abandoning yourfamily for a little bit, even if
it's not the entire life, butstill, yeah. It's still pretty
messed up. It's something thatyou'd break up over.
Erika (16:34):
Yeah, mean I think that's break up worthy, especially if
he just didn't pick mind you,she said they texted him saying
that to pick him up after thehospital and he didn't.
Edgar (16:43):
Like
Erika (16:44):
I would be like that's it, that's the last straw. Like,
was already, like, alreadystruggling when with the
mother-in-law and all that crapand then you didn't pick me up
and then you completelyabandoned me. Like, nah. Yeah.
It's over, dude.
Three strikes and you're out.Final verdict. She's not the
(17:04):
asshole but the husband and themother-in-law is. I think she's
better off honestly.
Edgar (17:08):
Yeah, agreed.
Erika (17:10):
So the next story is Emma the asshole for walking out on
my own birthday dinner myfiance's little surprise. So
last night was my 20 birthday.My fiance's Brian planned this
surprise dinner at a really nicerestaurant with my friends and
some of my family. I'm not hugeon big attention, but I thought,
okay, maybe he's doing somethingthoughtful for once. Dinner was
(17:33):
going fine, food's good, I'mchilling.
And then right before dessert,Brian stands out and starts
doing this whole speech at howproud he is of me and how he got
me a gift that changed my life.And then he says he paid off my
student loans. At first I was inshock. I actually teared up,
everyone clapped and my mom wascrying. I was about to stand up
(17:54):
and hug him, then he adds thathe only paid half of it and that
the other half is on me becausehe wants me to learn how to be
financially responsible and notrely on other people to fix my
problems.
Like, what? He basically turnedmy birthday into a public
lecture. People were laughinglike it was some cute life
lesson. My cousin was like,Damn, that's tough love. Just
(18:18):
sat there frozen and stood up,took my purse, and walked right
out.
He came running after me like,What's wrong? He was trying to
be helpful and he didn't meanfor me to be upset. I told him
he was embarrassing me, used mydepth to make a point in front
of everyone, and I wasn't in themood to be in someone's
teachable moment. Now a fewpeople are saying I overreacted
(18:41):
and that he meant well. If youwant to help, just help.
Don't use this to humiliate mein front of 20 people. Am I the
asshole?
Edgar (18:50):
Yeah, not really. I mean, there's a time and place for
lessons and not in front of allyour friends and family. I feel
like it also is a little bittacky to have a whole dinner
just to say, I just paid offthis much money, look how much
money I have to do this. That'sa little bit tacky in the first
place, but to also, on top ofthat, just kind of publicly
humiliate your wife. It's like alittle bit of a board.
(19:15):
It's like dickish, very dickish.
Erika (19:16):
Yeah, I feel like it's a power move. It's like, oh, I
have this over you. Like, I'mgonna pay your half of your, you
know
Edgar (19:25):
No. But I don't even think it's like a full power
move because at first, he said,I'm gonna pay off all her debt.
And then she walked it backimmediately. Like, that's just
like
Erika (19:33):
It's kinda funny. Like, it's just crazy. I don't
understand what his, like, realintention was here just to show
off that he could do he couldhave done that, but he wants to
teach her a lesson.
Edgar (19:45):
I know. Yeah. It's it's kinda stupid. Like, if you wanna
actually give her a lesson, youcould just do that in private.
Like, I feel like that wouldhave been more respect
receptive.
Erika (19:52):
And respectful.
Edgar (19:53):
And respectful. Yeah, respectful.
Erika (19:55):
Yeah, I don't understand that. I think he's a complete
asshole. Mhmm. I would have justleft him right there and be
like, goodbye, we're not gettingmarried. Go find somebody else
to teach you a lesson.
Edgar (20:04):
Bro. I'm serious. Brian's screwed up.
Erika (20:07):
No, I think this is just so, I don't know, it's so
childish that it's just, Iwouldn't be able to look past
it.
Edgar (20:17):
Yeah, mean, when I break up over this, I would just be
very pissed and I guessreconsider, just because I guess
it's just kind of toochauvinistic.
Erika (20:28):
I feel like I would say So I bet people in the comments
would be like, I just stayedwith him so he could pay half
and then break up with his ass.
Edgar (20:38):
That sounds like something better would say.
Erika (20:40):
Yeah, but I would just, I wouldn't even. I think it's
something I can overlook, that'sjust messed up.
Edgar (20:46):
Yeah, it's weird.
Erika (20:47):
So the top comment is, in your story you wrote that he did
something thoughtful for once.Are you sure you should be
marrying this man? He made ajoke about your situation in
front of a load of people. So Ihave to question whether he's
right for you at all. Not theasshole.
Edgar (21:02):
I guess that's a
Erika (21:04):
good that's
Edgar (21:05):
what I'm Good point. He's probably like a dick in general.
Erika (21:08):
Yeah, I think he just tries to use money to teach
people a lesson constantly. Ithink that's just how it's gonna
be in their relationship. So Imean, does she wanna live that
way? I don't think so. At leastI wouldn't.
Edgar (21:21):
It sounds like an annoying way to live.
Erika (21:22):
Yeah, just because he has money doesn't mean anything.
Edgar (21:25):
So final verdict?
Erika (21:28):
He is an asshole. She is not.
Edgar (21:31):
Yeah, definitely agreed. Time and place for everything.
Erika (21:34):
Yeah, definitely not for 20 people.
Edgar (21:37):
So the next story is titled
thirteen years is cheating, nowwhat? So we've been together for
nineteen years, married forthirteen. Obviously had
arguments and disagreements overall these years but nothing that
would make me think this is it.I can't be with her anymore. We
have a 10 old daughter soeverything has been rough the
(21:57):
past year.
It's our first baby, lots ofstress and sleepless nights. I
work and my wife doesn't andshe's home with my daughter
during the day, so I understandhow hard it's been on her. I'm
no saint and not perfect, but Ihelp a lot when I'm home, but
she's still doing most of thework. We're very close with
another couple, have known themfor eight to nine years. They
(22:19):
are at our ages and have a 1.5year old and we hang out with
each other a lot.
The four of us have been on manytrips and had sad and fun times
together and have become evencloser since having kids. Since
we've known them for almost nineyears, I really think of the guy
as my brother, think of his wifeas my sister, and loved his son
(22:39):
to death, just like my ownchild. My wife and I have been
even talking about asking themto be godparents for our
daughter. My wife and thehusband play volleyball
professionally, except for twoand three months before and
after our daughter was born.They've been playing three times
a week, going to different gyms.
My wife is really good andcompetitive and volleyball is
like a therapy for her. Soobviously I've been encouraging
(23:01):
and supporting her and it'sreally helped her after the
pregnancy. Sometimes he comesand picks up my wife, sometimes
my wife goes and picks him up.The thought of them doing
something other than volleyballhad never even crossed my mind.
Naive.
Erika (23:15):
I know.
Edgar (23:16):
So a few nights ago in bed my wife fell asleep and her
phone with her phone in herhand. I picked it up to put it
on charge next to her and I sawwhat shattered my whole life.
Her text messages with the guy.Last messages were kisses and
her heart saying goodnight toeach other and how much they
love each other. My heart waspumping, still not sure what was
(23:39):
going on, hoping that maybe it'soff from his side, but nope.
My wife was also expressing loveand affection to him and telling
him how much she can't waituntil next time they see each
other to be in his arms. Ireally couldn't read much of the
next texts as I was processinganger, betrayal, frustration,
disbelief. But few of the textsI read, it seemed like the guy
(24:02):
always had a crush on my wifesince nine years ago, that we
all met each other, but neverexpressed anything until one and
a half years ago that somethinghappened and their relationship
started. I really couldn'tcontinue reading as I was almost
furrowing up so I put her phonedown and went to bed. Couldn't
sleep at all that night and thenights since then.
(24:23):
Obviously this is all I've beenthinking about every day and all
day, but I can't help myself notto think about that our daughter
of 10 old and all of this isjust a messed up situation. We
actively tried to conceive backthen, but still, what if? What
else could have happened in thepast year and a half? I have so
(24:45):
many questions but don't reallyknow what to do next. I love her
to death until discovering allthis, but I am now disgusted
every time I see her.
Every time I play with mydaughter and kiss her and see
her smiling, I just can't helpbut cry and think how my selfish
wife has ruined the life of thisinnocent pure little angel's
life. I would still love mydaughter even if she's not mine
and I can't think of being apartfrom her for a second, but what
(25:08):
if? Not sure what to do next.Part of me wants to comfort her
and know the truth. Part of mewants to work it out, try to
understand her reasons and workto recover from this and save
our marriage.
Part of me wants to punch thepiece of shit guy in the face.
Part of me wants to divorceASAP. And part of me wants to
sneak around and find out moreabout their relationship and how
far it goes before confrontingthem. Part of me wants to warn
(25:30):
the guy's wife, I feel sorry forruining her life, so yeah. What
do I do now?
Erika (25:35):
What advice would you give him?
Edgar (25:38):
I think first she'd find the paternity of the child, like
his child, is that what it be?
Erika (25:42):
DNA test.
Edgar (25:43):
Yeah, mean even if she's not his daughter, I feel like if
he still wants to be a part ofher life however he can, he can
do that. But I think it's alsoimportant for him because right
now he's kind of tied to thatrelationship because they have a
kid together, or supposedly theyhave a kid together. But I think
(26:04):
it's important for him to knowand also just to confront the
wife. It's pretty serious. Itseems like the wife and the
other guy, they're probablybetter off together than them.
Erika (26:15):
Yeah, I agree with you. I think he should screenshot
everything, get proof that she'sthe one cheating. So So when it
comes down to custody though, hecould have a higher chance of
being able to be more in thedaughter's life or even full
custody if that's the case.
Edgar (26:31):
It's also just a protection to get audit proof
because he shouldn't be payingalimony or any divorce
settlements. Cause it's not hisfault that the relationship is
ending, it's the wife's fault.Do think that OP should tell the
other guy's wife as well?
Erika (26:47):
I think he should get all his ducks in the row first
before trying to warn anybodyelse or expose the truth.
Because, you know, it couldbackfire and then the wife could
know and yeah. I think he shouldget his stuff situated first and
then if he wants to tell theother wife, so be it. Yeah. So
that way she can also, you know,get, you know, be be prepared
(27:10):
for divorce as well.
Unless she wants to try to workit out, you know, to each its
own. I wouldn't do that, butyeah.
Edgar (27:17):
Yeah, same here. I think, yeah. Just start with himself
first, try to get on an equalfooting. But yeah, basically his
life with his wife at this pointis over. He can't really go back
from that.
Erika (27:27):
That's so messed up. I don't understand if people
cheat. Do you think about yourchildren? Do you not care if
they have a mom and dad? I don'tget it.
So the top comment is documenteverything. Get DNA tests to
make sure your daughter isactually yours. Lawyer her up
ASAP and listen to what theytell you to do. Right now is the
(27:53):
time to be cold and calculated.You can grieve your loss once
you set yourself up for the bestpossible outcome.
Even though the cheating doesn'tmatter in California, collect
the evidence anyway. You don'tknow how she's going to react.
She may try to go out and slapyou. She might try to tell
everyone a fake story or claimyou cheated. She may take it to
(28:16):
social media.
You need proof in case she doessomething stupid so you can
defend yourself. Get the DNAtoday. You are on a timer now.
If you are not the father, youneed to get your name off the
birth certificate before thechild becomes your burden for
life. Let this come back pay forhis mistake.
Lastly, once you are lawyer up,tell your friend. She deserves
(28:39):
to know. Lastly, once you areloaded up, tell the friend. She
deserves to know. Good luck.
This is gonna suck. See atherapist as soon as you can.
Edgar (28:57):
Yeah. I mean, he has to commence destruction of
everything at the moment, justbecause it's better for everyone
in the long term. Like it sucksin the short term, everyone's
gonna be all mixed up, all thefamilies are gonna be all over
the place, but I think they'llbe in a better spot later on.
Erika (29:14):
Yeah, I agree.
Edgar (29:16):
We can get it with the guy's wife, because they're
already friends.
Erika (29:21):
Yeah, maybe, I don't know. But I still it would be
nice so that way they're bothgoing through the same thing.
Edgar (29:27):
If anything, I don't see how they would stop being
friends from this. They can justcope together, you know, because
they both lost very importantpeople in their life.
Erika (29:37):
Or maybe people, I mean, you could see it that way, or
you could see it as the otherperson is the reminder of the
significant other that cheatedon them. So it could go both
ways. At this point it wouldjust get his self situated to
help the other person for
Edgar (29:54):
a second. Final verdict?
Erika (29:58):
Would say both of them, the friend is the asshole and
the husband. I think it's one ofthe fine lines of having
friendships. I think it'samazing to have
Edgar (30:11):
Yeah, a close family friend like that.
Erika (30:13):
But you just never know. You know, it's just one of those
things where maybe he developsfeelings and you know, she
doesn't reciprocate and theneventually she will. So it's
just one of those things thatyou have to keep in mind. Sure
have friends but have a limit.
Edgar (30:29):
Yeah, have some boundaries. Yeah. Agreed OP is
not the asshole but yeah, theother two shooters are.
Erika (30:35):
Yep, 100%. So the next story is, Emma the Asshole for
yelling at my aunt after shekept pressuring me to marry her
son. I'm 24 female fromPakistan. Here, cousin marriages
are common, and my aunt keepspressuring me to marry her son,
25 male, since I was a teen.This started in my teen years.
(30:56):
My aunt would start making jokessuch as you'll be such a good
daughter-in-law or you and herson's name would make a good
couple, etc. I used to brush itoff then, ignore it and such
hoping it would stop, but theynever did. Instead of it
starting being more common, shestarted doing it every time we
(31:18):
met. I've shut her downpolitely, every time, saying I'm
not interested and it won't everhappen. My mom knew how much it
bothered me.
She didn't want to bedisrespectful to her elders, so
she kept quiet and only spokeabout it in private when my aunt
messaged her. My mom told me tokeep quiet and ignore because
she won't let it happen. Thiswas very uncomfortable. This
(31:41):
whole thing gave me whole thinggave my cousin some wrong ideas
because he started messaging mein private saying things like,
We're getting married in thefuture, so why are not talking
to me now? I just ghosted himand ignored his messages.
Just a few years ago, I lost mytemper at a family gathering
after my aunt said, You're allgrown up now. When are you gonna
(32:04):
marry him? Our decision isfinal. The strong feeling of the
and cringe just made me lashout. I yelled at my aunt calling
her Calling her stupid for notlistening to me and
understanding what no means.
I used mild swear words as welland it was a whole heated
(32:25):
argument. To the end, theargument my brother had to
physically carry me out of thehouse, where I had a breakdown
and we all just left her house.My mom was hurt by this a lot
and I could feel the pain in hervoice whenever we spoke about
this. She said she just wishes Ihandled it differently. After
(32:48):
this came a series of unwantedtoxicity and drama.
My aunt yelled at my mom, makingher look like a terrible person
for letting that happen and cutoff all ties. She influenced
mom's oldest sister and brotherto do the same. My cousin got
married to someone else and wefound out about it through
someone else. He got married anddivorced just later that year
(33:10):
and somehow my aunt managed topartially blame me. Yo, the
audacity.
Edgar (33:18):
I know, yeah.
Erika (33:20):
Some people are so dumb, okay. And mom for that divorce,
even though we played no part init. My mom deals with her
siblings often and sometimesthey drag her into dramas. I've
seen her cry in her room alonebecause of this and it makes me
feel bad. I feel like I shouldhave done better or done things
differently for the sake of mymom.
(33:41):
All this toxicity and dramawould have been avoided if I did
things different.
Edgar (33:47):
I don't think, yeah, I think the drama and the toxicity
would have happened regardlessof how she handled this. The
only way the toxicity would haveended is if she actually married
the cousin, but it looks likethe cousin isn't really a good
(34:07):
husband if she got divorcedwithin a year of marrying
someone else.
Erika (34:11):
Imagine, that's so shameful.
Edgar (34:14):
I know, it just says a lot about the cousin in general.
He's just probably weird or justlike not a good guy in the first
place. Not real catch.
Erika (34:24):
And then the fact that the it blames the mom and her.
For what? For your son being afailure? Not a good person? That
he couldn't even keep a wife ayear?
Edgar (34:35):
I know.
Erika (34:36):
Like what do you mean it's your fault in your mom's? I
think the culture it's a littlebit much more obviously
different than our culture. Ijust think everybody has their
own culture and I'm nobody tojudge and everybody does their
own thing and that's great. Butin my perspective, as somebody
(34:58):
that doesn't really follow thatculture, I just feel bad. I feel
bad because I mean I think ifonly the aunt would understand
that that's not going to happenor no means no and that
continuously for years to bullyher or like basically the man
for her to marry her son isinsane to me.
And she's not supposed to sayanything, you're supposed to
(35:21):
stay quiet and just you know letit happen. It's just so
frustrating. Especially becausein our culture you say no no, no
means no, that's it.
Edgar (35:29):
Yeah, If the aunt really wanted this to have happened,
she shouldn't have pressed it somuch for so long. If she wanted
it to actually be a thing, Ifeel like she should have set it
up more tactically with thecousins, just have them interact
more better rather than tryingto force something to happen,
you know? That way they grow oneach other, not like oh, just
forcing that they actually likeeach other when they don't.
Erika (35:52):
Exactly.
Edgar (35:53):
Or they're not even that close yet, you know?
Erika (35:55):
Yeah, I mean, cousin cousin marriage is crazy to me,
but once again, it's common intheir culture, so know it's not
a problem.
Edgar (36:02):
At least do it better if they're gonna try and do that.
Erika (36:04):
Yeah, if she would've been smart, she would've done it
differently. I think it wouldn'thave been such a huge deal.
Edgar (36:11):
Yeah, think yeah.
Erika (36:12):
And let's say they were dating, they didn't like each
other, there's no something thatthey have to get married. It's
just one of those things where Ithink the mother is not at fault
here either.
Edgar (36:23):
OP and his mother have no stake in this in terms of all
the toxicity is coming to themjust because of how everyone
else is reacting, not from whatthey are doing that's wrong.
Erika (36:37):
I do think that she was in the wrong for just calling
her stupid. Yeah. I thinkregardless of how frustrating it
is or how people can really getunder your skin, I think you
should have at least some typeof respect because she's your
elder. And you know, when youact out like that in front of
your family, especially, youknow, your aunt or whatever, it
(36:58):
shows that your parents didn'traise you well, basically.
Edgar (37:02):
You know
Erika (37:02):
what I mean? So I think she should've just said, you
know, I'm not interested andthat's it.
Edgar (37:08):
Yeah.
Erika (37:09):
It would've cost, you know, it would've been a little
bit better and she wouldn't'vebeen shunned by all her siblings
either.
Edgar (37:14):
So
Erika (37:16):
the top comment is not the asshole at all. Your aunt
has some weird delusion thatafter you said no a hundred
times, you were still going tomarry him. You are your own
person and deserve respect. Youshould be telling anyone who no
should be
Edgar (37:33):
No one.
Erika (37:34):
No one should be yelling no one should be telling anyone
who to marry. Heck, you don'thave to marry at all if you
don't want to. Yeah. Exactly.
Edgar (37:47):
So, final verdict on this?
Erika (37:50):
No, you're not the asshole. I think she pushed you
to the point of breaking, youknow, I just would've used a
little bit better words there.
Edgar (38:00):
Yeah, definitely Opry isn't really an asshole in this
situation. If she was just atiny bit more respectful, maybe
like
Erika (38:06):
It would have been different, yeah.
Edgar (38:08):
They would still be mad at her, but it just gives them
more ammo.
Erika (38:14):
Yeah, exactly.
Edgar (38:16):
The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Yelling
That I Have Nothing to Do withMy Ex's Unborn Child Because I
Am Not the Mother. I, 25 female,was in an on and off
relationship with Jeremy, twentyseven male, for over four years.
What I mean by this is that wenever seriously dated, but we
(38:36):
were exclusive. No sleeping withothers, and that wasn't because
we were planning to be togetherat the end, but to reduce the
risk of pregnancies andpaternity questioning. I had met
his family a few times.
They liked me, but I wasn'taround them very much, kind of
(39:00):
at the point of being casual andeverything. Billings did develop
near the end of our on and offagain period, but we broke up
for real for six months. He toldme he didn't want it to end. I
wasn't sure he was seriousenough about making a serious
relationship work. I told himthat and I was close, I was open
(39:20):
to one but some of his actionsmade me doubt.
Four months ago he came to meand told me he had worked on
himself and he was ready to be atrue partner. We talked it all
and we got back together forreal this time. I spent some
time around his family this timeand we talked about the future
and our goals. Two months intoour serious relationship, his
(39:41):
ex, from before the start of ouroriginal relationship, announced
she was pregnant and that thetwo of them had slept together
while he and I were broken upfor the six month period. He
didn't deny it, but he said hedidn't want her.
It was blowing off steam oneweekend and how he was still
committed to me and there wouldbe nobody else because I was it
(40:02):
for him. I told him I didn'twant to be involved in a baby
thing, that he was having a kidand I wasn't and I was out.
Since that point, he hadrepeatedly tried to get me to
change my mind. The mother ofhis child has tried to talk to
me so she can yell about howunfair it is, and his family
have begged me to come back,that they loved me and never
(40:24):
liked her, and how he and thebaby need me and they need me,
and they don't want to be leftdealing with the actual mother
and how good of a mom I wouldbe.
Erika (40:34):
Oh my god.
Edgar (40:35):
So yeah, a lot of begging. But I was blocking
people all over the place.That's crazy.
Erika (40:41):
I would too, what the hell?
Edgar (40:42):
But in the end I lost my temper and I set up a group chat
with all of them on a differentnumber and yelled in a voice
message that I am not the motherof my ex's unborn child and
therefore I have nothing to dowith this baby or the situation
and I won't take him back. Iwon't have anything to do with
this and if telling them all atonce needed to happen then here
(41:03):
it was. I stayed in the groupfor a few hours before growing
tired of the mother of the childbeing outraged that I would
speak to her like that, where myex was pleading and saying I
couldn't dump him when he didn'tcheat, and his family saying how
unfair I was being and howunneeded this was. Now I kind of
regret doing it because I wonderif they actually leave me alone
(41:26):
or still look for ways tocontact me, and it might be more
pissy than before. Am I theasshole?
No. This is just ridiculous. Imean, think OP and her ex, I
think they're both trash, interms of people. Everyone in
this story seems to be Very verytrashy. I think it's delusional
(41:51):
for OP's ex and his entirefamily, the entire side to
believe that, oh, we need OPback.
No, that's just not how itworks. Clearly OP's ex cheated
as well.
Erika (42:04):
Yes. And the fact that everybody wants her to raise the
baby because she's gonna be abetter mother, like, what do you
even mean? What is in theirminds? Like, in their head? And
then he's saying
Edgar (42:17):
It's sub 100 IQ Clearly.
Erika (42:34):
Thank god this happened. You got rid of some crazy ass
people there, Imagine
Edgar (42:41):
having like a whole, just that entire side of your family
is just like, is it stupid?
Erika (42:46):
I think how do you even respond? Oh my god. I would just
block them all like she did.
Edgar (42:50):
Mhmm.
Erika (42:51):
There's no reason to waste your time with people like
that. So the top comment istotally not the asshole. Not
your circus, not your monkeys.Just go no contact with anybody,
with everyone at this point.Exactly.
Edgar (43:06):
Basically, yeah.
Erika (43:07):
I would too.
Edgar (43:08):
It's pretty ridiculous.
Erika (43:09):
That's what you would do, right?
Edgar (43:10):
Yeah, because it's just crazy.
Erika (43:12):
You would actually go back to the with the person? No.
Good. I think you always, Idon't know, from every time we
had a story, I feel like yourresponse is more like, Oh, but
that's not break up worthy.Like, you forgive so much.
Edgar (43:26):
Yeah, but this is like, you're dealing with people that
are like, crazy, mentallyunsound.
Erika (43:33):
Thank goodness you get to realize that. I don't know.
Edgar (43:35):
It's a straight graphic worry.
Erika (43:38):
I don't know, I think you're very forgiving, which I
love that about you, but I don'tknow, I'm just not very
forgiving, I guess.
Edgar (43:45):
So, final verdict?
Erika (43:49):
Yeah, you're not the asshole girl, run.
Edgar (43:51):
I hope you, yeah.
Erika (43:51):
Run and never look back.
Edgar (43:53):
Yeah, fake your death, change your identity.
Erika (43:57):
For real. Okay, so this is the last story. Am I the
asshole for destroying my bestfriend's proposal because I
believe she was being kidnapped?This actually
Edgar (44:09):
Someone must be off the meds.
Erika (44:11):
You're so crazy. So this actually happened last weekend
and I'm still shaking. My bestfriend Emily, twenty nine
female, had been dating herboyfriend Chris, thirty one
male, for about four years. I,28 female, love her to death and
have always supported therelationship even though Chris
(44:33):
is eccentric. He loves surprisesand stuff.
Think flash mobs and scavengerhunts that no one asked for.
Edgar (44:41):
So a nuisance.
Erika (44:43):
I think that's fun.
Edgar (44:44):
That's not a I
Erika (44:45):
think that's fun. Anyway, oh he reminds me of Raj from The
Big Bang Theory.
Edgar (44:50):
So a nuisance?
Erika (44:51):
Stop! I like his character. Anyways, he's a
little bit feminine, but youknow. Anyways, I was visiting
Emily. We were walking aroundcatching up when this unmarked
white van comes up next to us.
Two masked men jump out and grabher. She begins screaming, I
freak out! So I did what anysafe, frightened human being
(45:13):
would do. Grabbed
Edgar (45:15):
my gun.
Erika (45:17):
I grabbed my pepper spray, legal where I am, and
yelled bloody murder and wentwild. Sprayed one dude in the
face, kicked the other one inthe shin, and literally pulled
Emily back by the colt whileyelling for 911. Turned out
Chris and two of his buddies,They were attempting this
(45:38):
strange prank connecting intosurprise proposal situation
because Emily wanted a proposallike in the movies. Chris was
yelling crying over the pepperspray. Emily was scared while
the cops arrived.
It was chaotic. Now Chris isangry. He tells me I ruined the
most significant moment of theirlives and I embarrass him in
(46:00):
front of everyone. Emily tellsme she understands why I freaked
out but wishes I read the room.But like, what?
Oh my gosh.
Edgar (46:10):
This is what happens when you have like two people in a
relationship and they're bothstupid.
Erika (46:13):
Oh, bye Emily. Bye. Oh, but like how was I but how was I
supposed to know? It seemedreal. She was crying.
They had masks and it literallywas a van.
Edgar (46:27):
A white van. Yeah.
Erika (46:28):
With no what is it?
Edgar (46:32):
License plate?
Erika (46:32):
Yeah. Everyone's acting like I overreacted, but I
genuinely thought she was beingtrafficked. Am I the asshole for
spawning the proposal?
Edgar (46:41):
Yeah, LP is not the asshole in this. This is what
happens when you have a nuisanceperson. They can be above the
law and and they can just do allthis crazy stuff, and there'll
be no consequences. Yeah. Thisis a natural escalation of
everything that's beenhappening.
Erika (46:57):
I think everybody if he wants to be eccentric and wants
to do scavenger hunts and wantsto do crazy, fast mobs, great.
You know, you're not hurtinganybody. But when you go into
trying to kidnap her, I'm sorry,but that's just crazy to me. I I
I would be freaking out too. Howwould you react?
I would do the I would literallyfeel like she's been trafficked.
(47:20):
I would have done anythingpossible to beat them up or like
try to get rid of it and call911. Mhmm. I mean it's just one
of those things where you knowyou can't really know it's fake.
How can she read the room?
Edgar (47:31):
I know, yeah, Emily is crazy for that statement.
Erika (47:34):
Yeah, so the top comment is read the room. Read the room.
Two guys snatched up yourscreaming friend on the street
and telling you to read theroom? What if someone else had
called 911? What if someone elseon the street saw and just
started wailing on them?
What if other people startedgoing on local media about girls
(47:55):
getting grabbed? This was apoorly conceived prank proposal,
and you didn't what anybody elseshould have done. Not the
asshole. Your friend and herboyfriend are dumbasses. Yeah.
I think at this point, the wholeAccenture thing is fine, but
doing kidnapping is justcrossing the line.
Edgar (48:17):
Is that the final verdict?
Erika (48:18):
She is definitely not the asshole.
Edgar (48:22):
Same here, yeah. I mean, they're still gonna get married,
those two. So I pray to God thattheir child is half as stupid as
both of them.
Erika (48:31):
I just, I don't even know. Mean, they wanted to do
something like that, maybe ifEmily was alone, it would have
been fine and nobody's gonnakick or do something to ruin it.
Like, don't get it.
Edgar (48:43):
Yeah.
Erika (48:44):
Okay. So, that's all the stories we have today. Thank you
for tuning in this week'sepisode. Check out our website
www.yappings.com and join ourmail for updates. If you love
our podcast and want to supportus, subscribe and share it to
your friends and family.
We would appreciate this somuch.
Edgar (49:02):
Also, we started a Facebook group called AITA
Relationship and Family Drama,linked in the description. Join
us so you can share a mightyasshole stories you like or
share your own stories for us toall judge. We may even read a
few posts in one of our episodesif you're lucky.
Erika (49:18):
Thank you. Bye!
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