May 5, 2025 • 41 mins
This week’s episode of Yapping Schnauzers brings you what happens when your values and the people around you are comically out of sync. From controlling parents locking up their adult daughter’s phone like it’s contraband, to a 19-year-old Ivy Leaguer living out his plus-size fantasy, we’re serving you stories that are equal parts WTF, relatable, and emotionally confusing.
💔 “Dedicated to My Real Mom” – A stepmom has her heart shattered at the school art show. (Warning: ceramic heartbreak ahead.)
📱 “They Bought Phone Jail… for Me” – A college student returns home only to find her independence behind bars—literally. Summer vacation, but make it a Black Mirror episode.
🐷 “Make Me Fatter” – A dad accidentally overhears his son’s very niche affirmation ritual, and now he can never un-hear it. Therapy, anyone?
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- AIO: My parents want to lock up my phone for the summer
- AITAH for refusing to give my boyfriend children because he won’t marry me
- AIO for breaking down at my daughter's school after they displayed her art project "dedicated to my real mom" when I'm just the stepmom?
- My Son (19) is Getting Fat on Purpose
- WIBTA for not telling my husband I can understand his phone calls
- AITA for yelling at my neighbors and telling them to get divorced because their arguing keeps me up at night?
~
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with the app worthy stories wefind around the web. So today's
theme is misaligned values.
Edgar (00:15):
Okay, our first story is, Am I overreacting? My parents
want to lock up my phone for thesummer. Am I overreacting? I,
female nineteen, am going homefor the summer from college back
to my parents' house. My youngersister, 13 female, called me
about three days ago saying thatour parents bought three phone
lock boxes for us, me, mybrother, a 17 male, and my
(00:39):
sister.
My sister then handed the phoneto my mother while I asked why
she got these and her responsewas that she thought we were on
our phones too much. Keep inmind, I haven't been living with
them for a year now, so theydon't really know how often I'm
on my phone. I asked if sheplanned on telling me before I
came home and she said no. Shewas actually going to wait until
(00:59):
I was home from college nextweek to tell me. She then
proceeded to just attempt tohave a normal conversation with
me and me being very upset, justsaid I love you and that we
would talk about this later.
Honestly, I'm not upset aboutthe fact that my phone would be
locked up. I'm more upset thatit's not my choice and I feel
like my parents don't reallyview me as an adult. They have
(01:20):
said in the past that when I'min their house, I'm a child. Yet
they still want me to act as anadult. I have a full time job
for the summer, so I'll be gonefour days of the week from eight
to six.
Also four hour shifts at a storenear me on the weekends. I'm
wondering if it's even worth itto stay at their house this
summer. I still haven't talkedto my parents about how I'm
(01:41):
feeling and I'm wondering if I'moverreacting about the whole
situation.
Erika (01:45):
I mean, it seems like she hasn't even been there. Like,
she's in college. And the factthat they're saying that they're
on the phone too much, how dothey even know? She's not even
living with them.
Edgar (01:57):
I mean, for the younger siblings, they're definitely on
the phone more often. OP is 19years old, she's an adult. At
least legally an adult andmentally she thinks she's an
adult. So this is kind of blindtime to her.
Erika (02:11):
I know, it just doesn't make sense. Okay, fine, if
they're living there and theother siblings are doing that
then good for them, they shouldbe in the lockbox. But you have
the older sibling, she shouldn'thave to pay the consequences for
them, you know mean? She has afull time work and she's doing
her own thing, she's going tocollege, she's being
(02:31):
responsible. Why are you takingaway her phone?
I don't get it.
Edgar (02:35):
Yeah. It's kind of like going into helicopter parenting.
It's when the parent is very,very close to the child, but not
close to like, oh, we'refriends, but more close to like,
they're very overprotective oroverbearing. So, this is what
pushes kids away and has themact more sneaky. So I feel like
in doing this, it's like pushingOP to like, now she's
(02:56):
considering I want to have myown place then if I'm going to
stay in the summer around thetown.
Erika (03:01):
Exactly. Or like she maybe should consider living
with somebody else for thesummer, you And then they won't
see their child anymore. I mean,do you think that's a reasonable
punishment?
Edgar (03:13):
Guess what? I mean, OP shouldn't even be punished
because she's not even there.
Erika (03:17):
Yeah, and they weren't even planning on telling her, is
kind of frustrating also. They'djust be like, Surprise, we're
taking away your phone. I
Edgar (03:24):
know. That just shows the parents, no, this is not good.
It's not a popular opinion.
Erika (03:30):
I think it also just depends what, for me, the
parenting style, I don't know ifI would take away the phones,
but maybe I would just, you knowhow you could put a lock on the
phone where you can't doanything? Or you can't go on the
internet or whatever.
Edgar (03:44):
What I would do
Erika (03:46):
What would you do? Oh my god.
Edgar (03:48):
I'd just take away the chargers.
Erika (03:51):
They'll buy just a new one if they're working, so
what's the point?
Edgar (03:53):
Well, mean, I don't care about the 19 year old. I mean,
like the little kids. Just takeme to chargers.
Erika (03:57):
You'll find one around the house. You know how many
chargers we have around thehouse? It's crazy.
Edgar (04:01):
I don't like put a hole in every single one of them.
Erika (04:03):
Oh my gosh, that's too much work. Just disable it after
a certain time so then theycan't use their phones.
Edgar (04:10):
That's
Erika (04:10):
pretty much I
Edgar (04:11):
feel like those are pretty easy to get around if you
know the parents' passwords andall that stuff.
Erika (04:17):
But if you don't and you reset all your passwords and
you're screwed.
Edgar (04:19):
So
Erika (04:20):
that could be one thing. The top comment is definitely
not overreacting. You're anadult whether you are under
their roof or not. Not tomention that I feel like it's
sort of dangerous for a youngwoman to be out and about
without some sort of form ofcommunication if necessary.
Creeps are everywhere.
Yeah,
Edgar (04:37):
I mean
Erika (04:37):
And that's true, and if she's out and about, she needs
her phone, especially for a job,know, what if there's an
emergency? What if her bosswants her to go in earlier or
leave late and she doesn't haveany way of communicating, then
that's irresponsible for her notresponding.
Edgar (04:52):
Yeah,
Erika (04:54):
so Opie did respond to that and says, I think they are
just thinking about locking upthe phone at night, but then my
concerns is, if the lady I'mworking for texts me at night
asking me to come earlier, Iwon't see that and then that
could cause me to be late forwork and I won't be able to get
my phone because it works as atime lock so I wouldn't be able
to get it out on time. So yes,that's kind of what I said. I
(05:18):
don't even know.
Edgar (05:19):
So just I wouldn't use that as a reason. It's just like
overall it just takes away OP'sautonomy because she's
definitely an adult, she has herown responsibilities, this is
something for children andclearly she isn't anymore.
Erika (05:32):
I would say just pay, if she doesn't pay her phone bill
now then she should. That waythey have no right to take away
her phone.
Edgar (05:38):
I still feel like the parents would like try to take
it away.
Erika (05:41):
No, but I think that's, no, that's overbearing. I feel
like that's a little bitcrossing the line, especially if
your child is paying for theirphone and you still want to take
it away, that's kind ofridiculous.
Edgar (05:53):
Final verdict on if she's overreacting.
Erika (05:56):
No, she's not overreacting. I think her
parents are being, what is it? Ithink her parents are being
unreasonable.
Edgar (06:03):
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I would recommend she just
Erika (06:08):
goes Maybe stay with somebody else, yeah.
Edgar (06:09):
With her favorite uncle or cousin.
Erika (06:11):
Or grandma or grandparents, if they're still
around.
Edgar (06:14):
That's true.
Erika (06:15):
All right, so next story is, Am I the Asshole for
Refusing to Give My BoyfriendChildren Because He Won't Marry
Me? My boyfriend, 33, and I, 31female, have been dating for
seven years. Early we talkedabout marriage, kids, a house,
the whole shebang. I like kidsand I think I'd be a good
mother. I like to have children,but I wouldn't be upset if I
(06:36):
didn't have any.
I'm happy with my life as is,and I could be happy with
children as well. My boyfriendhas always dreamed of being a
dad and recently suggested thatwe are in the place to start
trying for some. I was a littleconfused by this. I told him
early on within the first yearthat I would never have children
with a man that I'm not marriedto. I feel like children are a
(06:57):
much bigger commitment thanmarriage, so marriage should
come first.
Additionally, if a man doesn'tlove me and isn't committed
enough to spend the rest oftheir lives together, I don't
see why I wouldn't make thesacrifice on bearing his
children. Maybe it's oldfashioned to me. I explained all
of this to him once again. Hewas awkward and said he just
doesn't want to get married. Hesaid men get screwed over in
(07:20):
divorces all the time and hedoesn't think marriage is
important or a smart choice.
I said, that's fine. We don'thave to get married. I'm happy
to live our lives as is. We justwon't be buying a house together
or having children together. Wecan each buy our own home and
live in one and rent out theother.
If we aren't getting married, Idon't want to really intake our
(07:42):
finances in any way. He blew upat me and said, I'm punishing
him for not wanting to marryhim. I said, I'm not. Just
having children outside ofmarriage goes outside of my
personal values. I'm also toldthat since he's super against
the idea of marriage, I am notgoing to marry him just for shut
up ring.
That he only gives me because hewants kids. I want him to
(08:03):
actually want to marry me. Andif not, that's okay. Children
and marriage are off the tablefor us. If he wants kids, now he
needs to leave me and findsomeone who will have kids for
him without expecting anystability in turn.
And maybe I could find someonewho wants to marry me. Or maybe
not have any kids. I said allthis to him. He's been very
(08:24):
distressed and emotionallydistraught. He has a disease
that very much so limits hislife expectancy.
He has said that if he doesn'thave kids ASAP, he probably
shouldn't have them at allbecause otherwise he wouldn't be
able to see them into adulthood.Am I the asshole?
Edgar (08:40):
Overall, isn't the asshole, I feel like her saying
to him, We should just both getour own houses. Houses. We
should both get our own houses.It's a little bit petty.
Erika (08:56):
So why didn't
Edgar (08:56):
you just lick it and slink in the background?
Erika (08:58):
Hilarious, you're so cute, know, asses. Yeah,
Edgar (09:03):
they have to get their own asses.
Erika (09:06):
You bet houses, you're hilarious.
Edgar (09:07):
Yeah, they have to get their own houses. I'm off my
feet a lot.
Erika (09:15):
Stop looking at me. That's so funny.
Edgar (09:19):
Yeah, saying that they should have their own houses is
a little bit petty because not alot of people can afford their
own house in the first place.
Erika (09:29):
Yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things where,
especially if he thinks hedoesn't have a long life
expectancy, why do you want tohave children and make your
children to live without you?
Edgar (09:39):
Yeah, fatherless.
Erika (09:40):
So, what's the point of having children in this? I think
he's just being very selfish inevery aspect, including
relationship wise and with thechildren as well. Like, come on.
Edgar (09:52):
Yeah, I wonder what kind of illness he has, but
ultimately he looks like hedoesn't plan to be here long.
Erika (09:59):
Yeah, then what's the point of getting married and
having a life? Just enjoy yourlife, go travel, do stuff and
that's it. You are gonna die, somight as well enjoy life.
Edgar (10:08):
Exactly,
Erika (10:09):
I don't know, mean that would be me if I would have a
type of disease where I'm gonnadie soon or something like that.
I wouldn't be planning onsettling down and getting
married and having kids. Thatwould be the last thing in my
mind, you know I mean? So do youthink she's being unreasonable
asking or responding like this,I guess?
Edgar (10:29):
I mean, overall, yeah, I don't think she's being
unreasonable. He's thinkingabout his lack of future and
she's thinking about her future,which would be him, but having
her husband or her fiance, buthaving his kids instead. Which
isn't really unfair because thenshe's strapped with a burden of
taking care of the kid all byherself.
Erika (10:52):
Yeah, I mean, I think, I mean there's, I'm not saying no
single parent can't make it outon their own, but it's just,
it'll be a struggle. And it'snot fair for her to carry that
cross when she doesn't have to.Yeah. I mean, she's looking for
stability and she has values andif he's not it then I don't
understand why she still wantsto be with him.
Edgar (11:11):
Yeah, I mean, it looks like from how they're planning
it out the rest of their livesor how she's planning out the
rest of her life, she doesn'twant him there anymore.
Erika (11:20):
Yeah, I think at this point I don't see any future in
the relationship. I think sheshould just find somebody that
respects her values and will bethere and have stability. And
the top comment is, Not theasshole. Just because he's sick
doesn't mean that he's entitledto change someone else's values.
Just to give his life a sense ofmeaning.
(11:40):
Especially not through emotionalmanipulation and trying to guilt
trip you into compliance. Youeven offered him an option to
leave and have children withsomeone else, yet it's clear he
wants the most inconvenient wayyour existing relationship to
immediately satisfy his desireto have kids. Parenting
responsibilities or the kid'swell-being don't actually seem
(12:01):
to be his focus. Honestly, ifyou were married it doesn't
sound like he'd be much of afather. On top of that, he seems
more worried about losing moneyin a divorce than he is about
possibly not seeing his futurekids grow up due to his illness.
This man is clearly onlythinking about himself.
Edgar (12:20):
True.
Erika (12:21):
Yeah, I mean, especially with divorce. I mean, does he
have money to die on? Like, andI don't understand why he was
saying that divorce, the menalways lose. But I mean, if you
don't have any four zero one ks,if you don't have anything that
you're gonna lose, then what'sthe point, why are you
complaining?
Edgar (12:39):
So
Erika (12:41):
what's the final verdict?
Edgar (12:43):
Yeah, OP isn't the asshole for not wanting to bear
that man's child.
Erika (12:48):
Oh my god, no. I think she should just move on and let
somebody, poor soul, hopefullynobody else will get trapped
with that man.
Edgar (12:58):
So, the next story is titled, Am I overreacting for
breaking down on my daughter'sschool after I displayed her art
project dedicated to my real momwhen I'm just the stepmom? I'm
sitting in my car crying myheart out while typing this.
Good to know. So, I, 34 female,have been married to my husband,
(13:18):
thirty six male, for threeyears. He has a daughter, Lily,
non female, whose biological momleft when she was two and hasn't
contacted them since.
I've been in Lily's life sinceshe was five and I've tried so
hard to be a good mother figureto her. Today was the school's
art exhibition. Lily has beenworking on a secret project for
(13:40):
weeks. When we arrived, we foundher artwork. A beautiful hand
painted ceramic, Hearts withFlowers, the placard reading,
Heart for Mom by Lily.
I made this for my real mom, whoI miss every day, even though I
don't remember her. I hope shesees it from heaven. I felt like
(14:01):
I'd been punched in my stomach.I was devastated and I really
mean it. Her mom isn't dead.
She's living in another state. Icompletely lost it and had to
rush out of the gymnasium beforesobbing in front of everyone.
The art teacher explained thatLily initially made that hard
for me but changed thededication after talking with
her friend who lost her mom.Lily told the teacher she didn't
(14:23):
want to hurt her friend'sfeelings. I understand she's
just a child, but this hurts somuch.
I recently finally paid off mycredit card balance which was a
pretty big amount and I even hada pretty big win, close to 3 ks.
I'm really riches. So I wasfeeling good about life. But
this emotional setback feels somuch worse than any financial
(14:43):
struggle.
Erika (14:44):
What is going on?
Edgar (14:47):
Three years of being there for every moment and I'm
still not real enough. Am Ireally overreacting or is it
okay that I feel heartbroken?So, I like the flex at the end,
like, oh, I won $3,000 in agambling app, and I finally paid
off all my credit cards fromgambling.
Erika (15:03):
That is so random. But I guess that's what she's saying,
that life was good and then thishappened.
Edgar (15:11):
Do I really be doing that sometimes?
Erika (15:13):
Well, yeah. I don't know, would you feel heartbroken if
this happened to you?
Edgar (15:18):
Not really. Because I get to say no matter how the real
parent is, they're still gonnahave some sort of respect and
reverence for them. No matterwhat the reality is. Because
it's their actual parents.Especially if they're so young,
they don't know any better.
Erika (15:34):
I mean, she's nine years old. Oh wait, no. Wait, one
second. She has a daughter Lily,nine.
Edgar (15:42):
Nine years old.
Erika (15:44):
I mean, dang, I'm trying to think what I was doing when I
was nine. Exactly, see?
Edgar (15:49):
So you don't even think it straight. If you can't
remember what you were doing atnine, this little kid is not
gonna remember a ceramic plateor bottle, whatever she made.
Erika (15:58):
Well, I have really bad memories, so I mean. But still,
I mean, I think I would feelsad. I wouldn't feel like, oh my
god, that I would be crying oranything like that. I think I
would feel really sad because Iwould think that, sure, you
shouldn't feel like you need toget validation every time if
(16:21):
you, especially if it's not yourchild, you don't need validation
for them. Especially if you'rejust doing it because you love
them and you just wanna be agood parent for them.
But I mean, it would be nice toget some validation here and
there. However, I don't know, Imean everybody has their
different way of reaction. Andif she's feeling some sort of
(16:42):
way, maybe she just feels thingsmore deeply. And there's nothing
wrong with that either.
Edgar (16:47):
I would say there is something wrong with that
because she's looking forvalidation from a child. I know
it's the child she's taken careof, but they're so frickle
anyway. So it's something that'sso fleeting to put so much
emphasis on it. It's not healthyfor her. Clearly she's not
reacting in a healthy way.
(17:07):
Because this is just a plate.
Erika (17:09):
I don't know. I mean, if she's trying her best to raise a
child, then she doesn't feel anyreassurance that she's doing a
good job as her having a littleflower or something or something
created for her and the project.It would be nice. But you know,
it's just one of those thingswhere, I guess it depends, not
(17:30):
always the other side is greenerthan, what is it called, what's
that? Oh my god, actually.
Edgar (17:34):
The grass is always greener the other side.
Erika (17:35):
Yeah, like what if she did have validation, you know?
Like it's just one of thosethings, I don't know. I think
she's valid to feel the way shefeels but if she feels so
distraught then maybe somethingelse is going on.
Edgar (17:49):
Yeah. And also, the art teacher did tell OP that
originally the sculpture was forOP and she just recently changed
it.
Erika (17:59):
Yeah, it's supposed
Edgar (18:00):
So, even despite that, she's still upset. So I feel
like that crosses the line interms of how emotionally wrecked
she is from this situation.
Erika (18:08):
Yeah, I think she just really focused on her friend's
feelings because she said shedidn't want to hurt her feelings
because her mom died, I believeis what she said, right? Yes.
So, you know, if I would've gotthat explanation then I'd be
like, oh okay, I understand. Itwasn't because I'm not a good
parent, it's because she wastrying to support her friend
(18:30):
that lost her mom. Okay, so topcomment is, I'm not saying this
to be harsh, but try to rememberthat this isn't about you.
It's about a child who's simplybeing in a space she's in, she's
nine, she's exploring, feeling,learning. It also doesn't mean
(18:51):
that she doesn't love you orcare about you, but at nine
she's not going to trulyunderstand what you're doing for
her. Be strong in who you are.It's always nice to get
validation, but you'reparenting. There's a lot of
times that parents get novalidation, and then there are
times that will make your heartwant to burst with joy.
I might suggest you considersome therapy. Your reaction
(19:11):
sounds a little big for this. Isanything else going on? Maybe
there are other issues. Most ofus have emotional wounds from
family or prior relationshipsthat can be helped with therapy.
And in the end, if yourstepdaughter is healthy and
happy overall, you're doing itright. So yeah, I agree with
that. I think with theexplanation of the teacher, I
(19:33):
think it would have beensufficed, you know what I mean?
And not continue with thewaterworks, but.
Edgar (19:41):
Yeah.
Erika (19:43):
Okay. So you think she overreact? Yeah, just a little.
Edgar (19:49):
Definitely. Definitely overreacted.
Erika (19:52):
Okay. The next story is, My son, 19, is getting fat on
purpose. I'm not sure who totalk to other than my therapist.
I want to know how to talk to myson, who I discovered is getting
fat on purpose. I have a singledad and widower forty four who
has three sons, 25, 20 one, and19.
(20:14):
Their mother passed away adecade ago. It's left a chasm in
our lives that's feltinsurmountable, but we've been
healing as a family. I pridemyself of being a loving and
understanding father. Andfortunately, my boys are green.
I have solid relationship withall three.
This boy is about 19. Since hewas young, he's been different
(20:34):
than his brothers. They wereathletic and outgoing, while
he's pudgy and reserved.Nineteen has struggled with
depression since his mom passedaway and gained weight on and
off due to medication. We hadvery hard times but we got
closer during COVID after hecame out as gay.
He's been doing much better andwe are ecstatic to see him get
(20:55):
into an Ivy League college lastyear. I noticed a change before
19 and went to college. Hegained weight that summer and
seemed more confident. When hereturned from breaks he'd be
larger and larger to the pointwhere he came home for Easter
and he was over three hundredpounds. To be clear, nineteen
(21:16):
gained more than 60 pounds sincelast summer.
I expressed my concern to himbut I acknowledge how happy he's
been. I just want him to behappy and healthy. He says that
he's been enjoying the diningplan and his social life, but he
gets where I'm coming from andhe'll start losing again. That
(21:37):
leads me to why I overheard. Ireturned home late from a date
one night thinking everyone wasasleep.
I went upstairs and saw lightfrom under nineteen's door. I
heard him speaking so I decidedto say hi before I went to bed.
I was about to knock on his doorwhen I heard him say something
that made me pause. Make mefatter. I stopped.
(22:00):
I put my ear on the door. Iheard him plead, Make me fatter.
I want to be fat, big blop. Makeme fatter, I want to be a whale,
so huge, so huge. I stoppedlistening.
I went to my room, I didn'tsleep well. I pretended
everything was normal withnineteen up until he left from
(22:23):
school. Now I'm stewing on thistopic and I feel so confused. I
don't know how to talk to himabout this. Nineteen's weight
has been to the point ofcontention in the past due to
his insecurities or societalexpectations.
There was always pressure tolose. I'm body positive, but I
want him to be healthy. Thatsaid, I do credit a lot of this
(22:45):
initial weight gain todepression medication, but now
it's a different story entirely.Please help me. What do I do?
Where do I go from here? I feelvery lost.
Edgar (22:56):
That child needs Jesus. A Bible in one hand and broccoli
in the other.
Erika (23:05):
Yeah, so crazy.
Edgar (23:08):
So So what do hear about it?
Erika (23:10):
Explain to me Okay, so I'm gonna read the top comment
here before we finish talking.
Edgar (23:16):
Okay, yeah, top comment.
Erika (23:19):
It sounds like he's in the feeder community and is a
feedie. I highly suggest youresearch this and check-in on
your son's health. The feedercommunity has a reputation to
slowly killing people even ifit's consensual. So explain to
me what that means, Vayne.
Edgar (23:36):
It's just like a relationship where it's like a
couple are together and one ofthem wants the other one to be
as fat as possible. So they givetheir partner as much food as
possible so they get bigger. Sothey gain like 203 pounds within
a few weeks or months.
Erika (23:55):
That's insane.
Edgar (23:56):
And that's like their fetish.
Erika (23:58):
And do they die? Mean, you're around that certain
weight gain, especially thatfast, it could really kill you.
Edgar (24:05):
I guess it's just people being weird.
Erika (24:08):
Oh my gosh. I mean, he definitely needs some type of
therapy and he needs to end thatrelationship.
Edgar (24:15):
Yeah, it's not probably like a, I wouldn't say it's a
helpful relationship that he'sin.
Erika (24:20):
No, definitely not. Think Is someone who encourages
Edgar (24:23):
you to be at your worst is not a good person for you?
Erika (24:27):
No, definitely not.
Edgar (24:28):
Especially if they their own interests.
Erika (24:31):
Yeah, I mean they're fetish. I mean I would say if
you're in a relationship youwould want somebody to make you
feel, wanna be your best, notyour worst. Wow, I wonder if
Edgar (24:43):
Maybe he's at his best at three hundred pounds.
Erika (24:45):
My gosh. I wonder if OP talked to him or searched it up.
Edgar (24:52):
I feel like this would be an awful conversation to have
with your kid.
Erika (24:55):
It says, That's a likely scenario. Finding acceptance and
validation from people who havefetishized fat people. There's
people who make careers out offilming themselves binge eating.
As an obese person, thankfullynowhere near three hundred, it
is not fun to be fat, sweating,chafing, clothes don't fit, then
sleep apnea and mobility issuesset in. It's so hard to turn
(25:18):
that around and even harder tofit in socially when you smell
and struggle to do basic things.
My point is that the outcome ofthis will affect his entire
life. Timing is critical. If hehas benefits, may qualify for
counseling or there could beoptions through his school. I
really hope he's not doing thisfor money because it's a whole
another kettle of fish. I thinkthis starts with a tough one on
(25:41):
one conversation but may requiremore persuasive intervention.
Edgar (25:47):
Yeah, I wasn't even thinking about if he was doing
this for money.
Erika (25:50):
My god, That would be worse.
Edgar (25:52):
Also, that's his public image up there.
Erika (25:55):
Man, this is insane.
Edgar (25:57):
The next Nick Avocado.
Erika (25:58):
Well, didn't he lose weight
Edgar (26:00):
now? Apparently.
Erika (26:02):
I know. I think it's just scary. I think needs, I I think
college is an amazing thing, Ithink exploring and learning to
speak to new people, you know,your boundaries have been lifted
and it's a good place toexplore. However, I think
(26:24):
sometimes when you find thewrong people, sometimes it can
really cost you your life or itcan really, you know, scar you
depending on the situation. So Ithink in this situation the poor
man has to just speak to him andget as much as, you know,
prepare what to say and how tosay it because you know how in,
(26:45):
I don't know, teenagers orwhatever, you tell them no, and
then they do the opposite andthey want to do it regardless.
Then they get in stuck with itand then regardless if they
don't want to do it no more,they want to do the opposite
that you're telling them. So heneeds to be very careful with
his wording too, especially withthis type of situation, you
know?
Edgar (27:01):
Overall that's like a sucky situation for OP to be in
because he has to do all thelegwork and all of the hard and
very uncomfortable conversationsand it's like not even
guaranteed to succeed.
Erika (27:11):
Yeah, I mean, what would you do? Like, what's your plan
to help your son out of this?
Edgar (27:15):
What son?
Erika (27:16):
If you had a son like that. Yo. Yo. Oh my god.
Edgar (27:25):
Exactly. What were you? What did you do?
Erika (27:28):
You're so new to us. Oh my gosh. I would say I would
talk to him. I would first getlike, do my research, try to see
what I can say and help him out.Talk to him one on one, try to
make him feel comfortable andnot thinking that I'm targeting
him, you know, because that'sthe worst thing you can do.
(27:50):
And making him feel validationand just trying to get him to
talk to somebody. And that'sabout it. I mean, if hopefully
from there he can a licensedtherapy can help him and see go
from there. Because there's noway I can't I don't have the
tools to try to help somebody inthe situation. You know, this is
(28:10):
where therapy would be amazing,because they have those tools,
and they'll be able to help himfind those tools to be, you
know, get out of that hole thathe's in right now.
That would be my game plan atleast. And if that doesn't help
then, I don't know. It's justone of those things where you'll
(28:31):
try to do your best butsometimes you don't always
succeed.
Edgar (28:36):
Yeah, for me when people are spiraling I just let them
spiral because anything lessyou're just enabling their
behavior. And another thing thatcould happen is if you're
helping them while they're attheir downtrend is they never
learn to live alone. They'realways going to need some help
and they eventually go back towhatever they're doing. So you
(28:59):
just let them get to whatever isthe bottom for them and then
they have to see for themselveshow they get out of it.
Otherwise they're just goingrely on help.
They're not going to learnanything meaningful.
Erika (29:11):
Well, I wouldn't say that because I feel like therapy,
it's not something that you, sotherapy is not meant to last
forever.
Edgar (29:21):
Mm-mm.
Erika (29:21):
Okay? So therapy is to give you those tools that you
don't know or you don't know howto use, or you might know, but
you don't know how to apply itto your job to your life. So
once you get taught those tools,how to handle situations, how to
handle emotions, how to forget,but to how to heal from your
(29:42):
past wounds and how to be abetter version of you, then, you
know, that's the type of therapyyou want because you heal
yourself in the process becauseyou have to put in the work.
Yeah. And I mean, sure, youcould do that by yourself, but
you know, there's no guaranteeyou're that you're trying to
find some, you know, somethingthat you could do with therapy
that could help you heal faster,because you have somebody there
(30:05):
to help you, instead of doing itall by yourself that could take
years, years that you don't knowthat you figure out how to do
yourself.
But I mean, I guess it's the wayit's how you see it. But I feel
like therapy is not a clutchthat you can never let go.
Therapy is something that youhold onto until you're ready to
(30:25):
go. You don't need it forever.So I think therapy for me would
be the best tool and the bestsolution in this case
especially.
Edgar (30:32):
I
Erika (30:35):
just hope that he finds a good solution and doesn't end in
a terrible call.
Edgar (30:42):
Yeah, hopefully before he reaches four hundred pounds.
Erika (30:45):
I mean, I would say a good intervention would be nice.
Edgar (30:50):
Yeah, the sooner the better.
Erika (30:52):
Yeah, definitely.
Edgar (30:54):
I guess what final advice would you give to him?
Erika (30:58):
Just, you you try as much as you can and you can't blame
yourself if you can't. You knowI mean? You gotta try to help
him out and hope for the best.
Edgar (31:08):
Yep, exactly. The next story is titled, Would I be the
Asshole for Not Telling MyHusband I Could Understand His
Phone Calls? My husband's firstlanguage is not English, while
English is the only language Ispeak. I've secretly been taking
online classes to learn hismother tongue. I haven't told
him because I want it to be asurprise and I'm waiting until
(31:29):
I'm further along.
I have this idea of bursting outfull sentences next year at
Christmas for his family orsomething. His parents speak
very limited English, socommunication is strained when
he isn't in the room fortranslate. My intentions are
good. How often do you get thechance to surprise the person
you love with the effort oflearning their language? The
only problem is that I amincreasingly able to understand
(31:52):
his phone calls with friends andfamily, and I feel like I'm
invading his privacy.
For example, sometimes I cantell he is talking about me.
Nothing too bad though. Justlike we hash eagle fight we've
had, I do the same with mygirlfriends. He doesn't say
anything hurtful, but it's stillthings I'm not sure he wouldn't
say if he knew I was listening.Also, I have to bite my tongue
(32:13):
to not say out loud my versionopinion of the story, and that
feels like I'm lying when I haveto purposely keep my face
neutral.
So my question is, would I bethe asshole to keep learning his
language in secret? Am Iinvading his privacy? Would you
be upset about your wife keepinga secret for a year or find the
effort sweet? I don't thinkshe's being the asshole and
(32:35):
trying to learn the language.Inadvertently, he's going to
start understanding his phonecalls and his conversations with
people who speak otherlanguages.
I don't think he's an asshole.Eavesdropping it that way. If he
really wanted that to be asecret, would do it in private,
not in front of her.
Erika (32:54):
Yeah, I don't think that she's the asshole. I think it's
sweet for her to find the timeand the effort to learn his
language and be able tocommunicate with him more or his
family. I mean if she does feelbad for listening to his
conversation you could alwaysleave the room or put headphones
on or you can give them privacy.It's just one of those things.
Edgar (33:17):
Exactly, she can usually just be like, Yeah, I want to do
something else. Don't want tolisten to this. Or anything
that's nice.
Erika (33:23):
Yeah, mean, would be kind of weird if every time you talk
on the phone she goes to thebathroom or she leaves.
Edgar (33:29):
I don't think it's that weird though. What what if you
want to concentrate onsomething? I wouldn't want to be
in the same room with someonetalking.
Erika (33:36):
I guess. But I would still say, you know, hey, maybe
just put headphones on orsomething if you don't want to
listen.
Edgar (33:44):
I think it would be funny though, ultimately. As soon as
she reveals like hey, know yourlanguage now, I think they're
gonna have a good laugh and belike oh, so you're listen all my
phone calls? Like all of them?And she'd be like yeah.
Erika (33:55):
Yeah, I mean that would be nice. I think you should
learn Spanish more.
Edgar (33:59):
Someday.
Erika (34:00):
I think you don't, oh my god.
Edgar (34:02):
I
Erika (34:05):
think it would be nice for you to speak to everybody in
your family, especially in yourCanadian family.
Edgar (34:09):
Yeah, I knew a tiny bit of French, but not enough to
talk to them, just understandlittle things they say.
Erika (34:16):
Yeah, took three years of French in high school. I mean, I
know I can't introduce myself,in certain words here and there,
but that's about it.
Edgar (34:23):
I'm not even good at speaking English, so.
Erika (34:25):
Oh, you mean? Yes, you are. You have no accent. So the
top comment is, oh, can justleave the
Edgar (34:33):
room. Exactly, yeah. Problem solved.
Erika (34:36):
OP said, we live in a studio apartment so there isn't
anywhere I can go. But you'reright, I could put earbuds in
without being too suspicious.
Edgar (34:44):
Exactly, She knows it's like the largest issue, but it's
Yeah,
Erika (34:49):
but she wouldn't be that, so I think she's really super
sweet for doing that.
Edgar (34:54):
And it looks like OP's husband or fiance isn't saying
anything bad either way. Sofinal verdict?
Erika (35:01):
I would say that she would not be the asshole since
she's doing this to be more apart of his culture and closer
to his family and himself. So Ithink it'll be like a sweet
thing he will look upon with asmile and kindness. Okay, so the
(35:22):
next story is Am I the Assholefor Yelling at My Neighbor and
Telling Them to Get DivorcedBecause Their Arguing Keeps Me
Up At Night? I have been rentingthis house with my sister for
the past year. It's great and Ilike the area, but there's one
problem, my neighbors.
My neighbors are a family andthey're perfectly nice in our
(35:44):
interactions. But the problem isthat the couple will go to their
backyard and start screaming,arguing every single night for
like two hours. It's so loudthat it causes both my dog and
the dogs in the surrounding areato get riled up. On top of this,
my bedroom is next to the areathey argue at. It's been like
(36:04):
three months.
The cops have been called onthem. I've talked to the husband
about it. Nothing happens. Ican't wear noise canceling
earbuds because my sister isdisabled and I need to be aware
if she needs me at night. Twoweeks ago, I come home exhausted
from a bad day at work and Ijust wanted to sleep in.
(36:25):
At about 2AM they start withtheir usual arguments. The wife
is shouting and the husband isscreeching I don't know
repeatedly, something he does alot. And dogs have begun
barking. The frustration ofbeing tired and knowing that I
had to get up in two hours justfinally made me snap. I opened
(36:45):
my window and screamed, Youdon't know?
You don't know? If you don'tknow now, you won't know later.
So can you lunatics just getdivorce ready and shut up,
please? My voice was shaking andcrackling from the volume. Well,
they did get quiet and it wascrickets for the rest of the
(37:06):
night.
For the past two weeks, thenights have been radio silent.
Whenever I see them whileleaving my house, they avoid eye
contact with me. Who can blamethem? I feel really bad, but I
was just so tired and frustratedand I just couldn't hold it in
anymore. I want to apologize,but my girlfriend's been telling
me I just need to let it go andthat I had every right to react
(37:29):
the way I did.
But I don't know, I just feelguilty. I want to say it's none
of my business, but at thispoint I unwillingly know about
these two strangers' love lifemore than I know about my own
mother. So, am I the asshole ofhow I reacted?
Edgar (37:45):
No. I think anyone would be frustrated if they had
neighbors like that.
Erika (37:50):
Oh my god, yes.
Edgar (37:52):
Like don't the neighbors feel any shame at all? Like just
screaming out in the public likethat? Like we have neighbors
like that, right?
Erika (37:57):
I would be frustrated. And the cops were called and
they're still doing it? Like, dothey have no self preservation?
Like, damn.
Edgar (38:06):
Exactly. But at least it looks like they've banded
together finally over a commonenemy, which is OP. Finally.
Erika (38:14):
I think if you wanna argue, argue inside your house
in the basement. If you'reyelling, go into a soundproofing
room if you have one. I don'tknow, just keep it inside the
house. Nobody needs to hear yourbusiness. Nobody needs to know
you're arguing, nobody needs tohear yelling.
Edgar (38:29):
No one wants to hear that.
Erika (38:30):
Especially at two in the morning, come on people.
Edgar (38:32):
Yeah,
Erika (38:35):
so I think OP was not in the wrong. I'm glad he did that.
Edgar (38:38):
Especially like, they were right outside his window
basically.
Erika (38:43):
Yeah, and I mean, this is not the first time this has
happened. There's been callingthe cops, there's been talking
to him separately, there's beenmultiple chances where they
could've been better becausethey had been told to, but they
still didn't care. So I think, Imean, one more hit and it broke
the camel's toe. Was it thecamel's toe?
Edgar (39:04):
Camel's back.
Erika (39:04):
Camel's back? So the top comment is do not apologize. If
any apology owed, they owe it toyou. To all the other neighbors
and their dogs as well. Not theasshole.
I hope your little snap has toput them in earthly volumes for
good.
Edgar (39:22):
Yeah, we'll see how it goes, but I think it's like a
good first step. I think rightnow they're uncomfortable
because like they're finallybeing called out for being like
annoying. But yeah, maybe theyhave so much respect and they're
just, at least if they're gonnabe fighting, they'll fight
inside.
Erika (39:38):
Yeah, or at least I don't know argue tightly. Or like do
thanks. I don't know. Yeah, Imean well it doesn't seem like
they're pissed off and they justavoid eye contact so maybe they
feel a little bit ashamed. Maybea little bit, hopefully.
I don't know, would you havereacted the same way? Would you
let it get that far, I guess?When would you be like, that's
(40:01):
it, that's enough?
Edgar (40:03):
I guess it depends on how bad it is, but I think it have
to be a very annoying and veryloud argument for me to do that,
just step outside and yell backat them. But I've been lucky
with all my neighbors for thepast years and years. They've
been pretty good I guess. Or atleast I don't hear about them
ever.
Erika (40:22):
Yeah, except you know that neighbor in front of us?
Edgar (40:25):
I could barely hear them.
Erika (40:27):
Oh my god, they'd be yelling.
Edgar (40:29):
They probably were much worse than before.
Erika (40:31):
No, they used to be, it used to be really bad. Like they
used to yell and the whole blockwould hear them because we were
in front of But yeah, it wascrazy. They would hear like,
like it was bad and then thedogs started barking. And then
my dogs were bark. It was crazy.
But yeah, mean, it's better nowyou don't hear them arguing
(40:54):
anymore. Thank God. So
Edgar (40:57):
your final verdict?
Erika (40:59):
No, I don't think he's the asshole at all. I think he
did good. He got them to stoparguing at two in the morning.
Edgar (41:09):
Exactly, yeah. He did what had to be done.
Erika (41:13):
Yeah, definitely. So that's all the stories we have
today. Thank you for tuning intothis week's episode. Check out
our website, www.yappings.com,and join our mailing list for
updates. If you love our podcastand want to support us,
subscribe and share to yourfriends and family.
We would appreciate this somuch.
Edgar (41:33):
Also, have a Facebook group called AITA relationship
and family drama, linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share a mighty asshole post youlike or share your own stories
for us all to judge. We may evenread a few posts in one of our
episodes.
Erika (41:48):
Thank you. Bye.
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with the app worthy stories wefind around the web. So today's
theme is misaligned values.
Edgar (00:15):
Okay, our first story is, Am I overreacting? My parents
want to lock up my phone for thesummer. Am I overreacting? I,
female nineteen, am going homefor the summer from college back
to my parents' house. My youngersister, 13 female, called me
about three days ago saying thatour parents bought three phone
lock boxes for us, me, mybrother, a 17 male, and my
(00:39):
sister.
My sister then handed the phoneto my mother while I asked why
she got these and her responsewas that she thought we were on
our phones too much. Keep inmind, I haven't been living with
them for a year now, so theydon't really know how often I'm
on my phone. I asked if sheplanned on telling me before I
came home and she said no. Shewas actually going to wait until
(00:59):
I was home from college nextweek to tell me. She then
proceeded to just attempt tohave a normal conversation with
me and me being very upset, justsaid I love you and that we
would talk about this later.
Honestly, I'm not upset aboutthe fact that my phone would be
locked up. I'm more upset thatit's not my choice and I feel
like my parents don't reallyview me as an adult. They have
(01:20):
said in the past that when I'min their house, I'm a child. Yet
they still want me to act as anadult. I have a full time job
for the summer, so I'll be gonefour days of the week from eight
to six.
Also four hour shifts at a storenear me on the weekends. I'm
wondering if it's even worth itto stay at their house this
summer. I still haven't talkedto my parents about how I'm
(01:41):
feeling and I'm wondering if I'moverreacting about the whole
situation.
Erika (01:45):
I mean, it seems like she hasn't even been there. Like,
she's in college. And the factthat they're saying that they're
on the phone too much, how dothey even know? She's not even
living with them.
Edgar (01:57):
I mean, for the younger siblings, they're definitely on
the phone more often. OP is 19years old, she's an adult. At
least legally an adult andmentally she thinks she's an
adult. So this is kind of blindtime to her.
Erika (02:11):
I know, it just doesn't make sense. Okay, fine, if
they're living there and theother siblings are doing that
then good for them, they shouldbe in the lockbox. But you have
the older sibling, she shouldn'thave to pay the consequences for
them, you know mean? She has afull time work and she's doing
her own thing, she's going tocollege, she's being
(02:31):
responsible. Why are you takingaway her phone?
I don't get it.
Edgar (02:35):
Yeah. It's kind of like going into helicopter parenting.
It's when the parent is very,very close to the child, but not
close to like, oh, we'refriends, but more close to like,
they're very overprotective oroverbearing. So, this is what
pushes kids away and has themact more sneaky. So I feel like
in doing this, it's like pushingOP to like, now she's
(02:56):
considering I want to have myown place then if I'm going to
stay in the summer around thetown.
Erika (03:01):
Exactly. Or like she maybe should consider living
with somebody else for thesummer, you And then they won't
see their child anymore. I mean,do you think that's a reasonable
punishment?
Edgar (03:13):
Guess what? I mean, OP shouldn't even be punished
because she's not even there.
Erika (03:17):
Yeah, and they weren't even planning on telling her, is
kind of frustrating also. They'djust be like, Surprise, we're
taking away your phone. I
Edgar (03:24):
know. That just shows the parents, no, this is not good.
It's not a popular opinion.
Erika (03:30):
I think it also just depends what, for me, the
parenting style, I don't know ifI would take away the phones,
but maybe I would just, you knowhow you could put a lock on the
phone where you can't doanything? Or you can't go on the
internet or whatever.
Edgar (03:44):
What I would do
Erika (03:46):
What would you do? Oh my god.
Edgar (03:48):
I'd just take away the chargers.
Erika (03:51):
They'll buy just a new one if they're working, so
what's the point?
Edgar (03:53):
Well, mean, I don't care about the 19 year old. I mean,
like the little kids. Just takeme to chargers.
Erika (03:57):
You'll find one around the house. You know how many
chargers we have around thehouse? It's crazy.
Edgar (04:01):
I don't like put a hole in every single one of them.
Erika (04:03):
Oh my gosh, that's too much work. Just disable it after
a certain time so then theycan't use their phones.
Edgar (04:10):
That's
Erika (04:10):
pretty much I
Edgar (04:11):
feel like those are pretty easy to get around if you
know the parents' passwords andall that stuff.
Erika (04:17):
But if you don't and you reset all your passwords and
you're screwed.
Edgar (04:19):
So
Erika (04:20):
that could be one thing. The top comment is definitely
not overreacting. You're anadult whether you are under
their roof or not. Not tomention that I feel like it's
sort of dangerous for a youngwoman to be out and about
without some sort of form ofcommunication if necessary.
Creeps are everywhere.
Yeah,
Edgar (04:37):
I mean
Erika (04:37):
And that's true, and if she's out and about, she needs
her phone, especially for a job,know, what if there's an
emergency? What if her bosswants her to go in earlier or
leave late and she doesn't haveany way of communicating, then
that's irresponsible for her notresponding.
Edgar (04:52):
Yeah,
Erika (04:54):
so Opie did respond to that and says, I think they are
just thinking about locking upthe phone at night, but then my
concerns is, if the lady I'mworking for texts me at night
asking me to come earlier, Iwon't see that and then that
could cause me to be late forwork and I won't be able to get
my phone because it works as atime lock so I wouldn't be able
to get it out on time. So yes,that's kind of what I said. I
(05:18):
don't even know.
Edgar (05:19):
So just I wouldn't use that as a reason. It's just like
overall it just takes away OP'sautonomy because she's
definitely an adult, she has herown responsibilities, this is
something for children andclearly she isn't anymore.
Erika (05:32):
I would say just pay, if she doesn't pay her phone bill
now then she should. That waythey have no right to take away
her phone.
Edgar (05:38):
I still feel like the parents would like try to take
it away.
Erika (05:41):
No, but I think that's, no, that's overbearing. I feel
like that's a little bitcrossing the line, especially if
your child is paying for theirphone and you still want to take
it away, that's kind ofridiculous.
Edgar (05:53):
Final verdict on if she's overreacting.
Erika (05:56):
No, she's not overreacting. I think her
parents are being, what is it? Ithink her parents are being
unreasonable.
Edgar (06:03):
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I would recommend she just
Erika (06:08):
goes Maybe stay with somebody else, yeah.
Edgar (06:09):
With her favorite uncle or cousin.
Erika (06:11):
Or grandma or grandparents, if they're still
around.
Edgar (06:14):
That's true.
Erika (06:15):
All right, so next story is, Am I the Asshole for
Refusing to Give My BoyfriendChildren Because He Won't Marry
Me? My boyfriend, 33, and I, 31female, have been dating for
seven years. Early we talkedabout marriage, kids, a house,
the whole shebang. I like kidsand I think I'd be a good
mother. I like to have children,but I wouldn't be upset if I
(06:36):
didn't have any.
I'm happy with my life as is,and I could be happy with
children as well. My boyfriendhas always dreamed of being a
dad and recently suggested thatwe are in the place to start
trying for some. I was a littleconfused by this. I told him
early on within the first yearthat I would never have children
with a man that I'm not marriedto. I feel like children are a
(06:57):
much bigger commitment thanmarriage, so marriage should
come first.
Additionally, if a man doesn'tlove me and isn't committed
enough to spend the rest oftheir lives together, I don't
see why I wouldn't make thesacrifice on bearing his
children. Maybe it's oldfashioned to me. I explained all
of this to him once again. Hewas awkward and said he just
doesn't want to get married. Hesaid men get screwed over in
(07:20):
divorces all the time and hedoesn't think marriage is
important or a smart choice.
I said, that's fine. We don'thave to get married. I'm happy
to live our lives as is. We justwon't be buying a house together
or having children together. Wecan each buy our own home and
live in one and rent out theother.
If we aren't getting married, Idon't want to really intake our
(07:42):
finances in any way. He blew upat me and said, I'm punishing
him for not wanting to marryhim. I said, I'm not. Just
having children outside ofmarriage goes outside of my
personal values. I'm also toldthat since he's super against
the idea of marriage, I am notgoing to marry him just for shut
up ring.
That he only gives me because hewants kids. I want him to
(08:03):
actually want to marry me. Andif not, that's okay. Children
and marriage are off the tablefor us. If he wants kids, now he
needs to leave me and findsomeone who will have kids for
him without expecting anystability in turn.
And maybe I could find someonewho wants to marry me. Or maybe
not have any kids. I said allthis to him. He's been very
(08:24):
distressed and emotionallydistraught. He has a disease
that very much so limits hislife expectancy.
He has said that if he doesn'thave kids ASAP, he probably
shouldn't have them at allbecause otherwise he wouldn't be
able to see them into adulthood.Am I the asshole?
Edgar (08:40):
Overall, isn't the asshole, I feel like her saying
to him, We should just both getour own houses. Houses. We
should both get our own houses.It's a little bit petty.
Erika (08:56):
So why didn't
Edgar (08:56):
you just lick it and slink in the background?
Erika (08:58):
Hilarious, you're so cute, know, asses. Yeah,
Edgar (09:03):
they have to get their own asses.
Erika (09:06):
You bet houses, you're hilarious.
Edgar (09:07):
Yeah, they have to get their own houses. I'm off my
feet a lot.
Erika (09:15):
Stop looking at me. That's so funny.
Edgar (09:19):
Yeah, saying that they should have their own houses is
a little bit petty because not alot of people can afford their
own house in the first place.
Erika (09:29):
Yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things where,
especially if he thinks hedoesn't have a long life
expectancy, why do you want tohave children and make your
children to live without you?
Edgar (09:39):
Yeah, fatherless.
Erika (09:40):
So, what's the point of having children in this? I think
he's just being very selfish inevery aspect, including
relationship wise and with thechildren as well. Like, come on.
Edgar (09:52):
Yeah, I wonder what kind of illness he has, but
ultimately he looks like hedoesn't plan to be here long.
Erika (09:59):
Yeah, then what's the point of getting married and
having a life? Just enjoy yourlife, go travel, do stuff and
that's it. You are gonna die, somight as well enjoy life.
Edgar (10:08):
Exactly,
Erika (10:09):
I don't know, mean that would be me if I would have a
type of disease where I'm gonnadie soon or something like that.
I wouldn't be planning onsettling down and getting
married and having kids. Thatwould be the last thing in my
mind, you know I mean? So do youthink she's being unreasonable
asking or responding like this,I guess?
Edgar (10:29):
I mean, overall, yeah, I don't think she's being
unreasonable. He's thinkingabout his lack of future and
she's thinking about her future,which would be him, but having
her husband or her fiance, buthaving his kids instead. Which
isn't really unfair because thenshe's strapped with a burden of
taking care of the kid all byherself.
Erika (10:52):
Yeah, I mean, I think, I mean there's, I'm not saying no
single parent can't make it outon their own, but it's just,
it'll be a struggle. And it'snot fair for her to carry that
cross when she doesn't have to.Yeah. I mean, she's looking for
stability and she has values andif he's not it then I don't
understand why she still wantsto be with him.
Edgar (11:11):
Yeah, I mean, it looks like from how they're planning
it out the rest of their livesor how she's planning out the
rest of her life, she doesn'twant him there anymore.
Erika (11:20):
Yeah, I think at this point I don't see any future in
the relationship. I think sheshould just find somebody that
respects her values and will bethere and have stability. And
the top comment is, Not theasshole. Just because he's sick
doesn't mean that he's entitledto change someone else's values.
Just to give his life a sense ofmeaning.
(11:40):
Especially not through emotionalmanipulation and trying to guilt
trip you into compliance. Youeven offered him an option to
leave and have children withsomeone else, yet it's clear he
wants the most inconvenient wayyour existing relationship to
immediately satisfy his desireto have kids. Parenting
responsibilities or the kid'swell-being don't actually seem
(12:01):
to be his focus. Honestly, ifyou were married it doesn't
sound like he'd be much of afather. On top of that, he seems
more worried about losing moneyin a divorce than he is about
possibly not seeing his futurekids grow up due to his illness.
This man is clearly onlythinking about himself.
Edgar (12:20):
True.
Erika (12:21):
Yeah, I mean, especially with divorce. I mean, does he
have money to die on? Like, andI don't understand why he was
saying that divorce, the menalways lose. But I mean, if you
don't have any four zero one ks,if you don't have anything that
you're gonna lose, then what'sthe point, why are you
complaining?
Edgar (12:39):
So
Erika (12:41):
what's the final verdict?
Edgar (12:43):
Yeah, OP isn't the asshole for not wanting to bear
that man's child.
Erika (12:48):
Oh my god, no. I think she should just move on and let
somebody, poor soul, hopefullynobody else will get trapped
with that man.
Edgar (12:58):
So, the next story is titled, Am I overreacting for
breaking down on my daughter'sschool after I displayed her art
project dedicated to my real momwhen I'm just the stepmom? I'm
sitting in my car crying myheart out while typing this.
Good to know. So, I, 34 female,have been married to my husband,
(13:18):
thirty six male, for threeyears. He has a daughter, Lily,
non female, whose biological momleft when she was two and hasn't
contacted them since.
I've been in Lily's life sinceshe was five and I've tried so
hard to be a good mother figureto her. Today was the school's
art exhibition. Lily has beenworking on a secret project for
(13:40):
weeks. When we arrived, we foundher artwork. A beautiful hand
painted ceramic, Hearts withFlowers, the placard reading,
Heart for Mom by Lily.
I made this for my real mom, whoI miss every day, even though I
don't remember her. I hope shesees it from heaven. I felt like
(14:01):
I'd been punched in my stomach.I was devastated and I really
mean it. Her mom isn't dead.
She's living in another state. Icompletely lost it and had to
rush out of the gymnasium beforesobbing in front of everyone.
The art teacher explained thatLily initially made that hard
for me but changed thededication after talking with
her friend who lost her mom.Lily told the teacher she didn't
(14:23):
want to hurt her friend'sfeelings. I understand she's
just a child, but this hurts somuch.
I recently finally paid off mycredit card balance which was a
pretty big amount and I even hada pretty big win, close to 3 ks.
I'm really riches. So I wasfeeling good about life. But
this emotional setback feels somuch worse than any financial
(14:43):
struggle.
Erika (14:44):
What is going on?
Edgar (14:47):
Three years of being there for every moment and I'm
still not real enough. Am Ireally overreacting or is it
okay that I feel heartbroken?So, I like the flex at the end,
like, oh, I won $3,000 in agambling app, and I finally paid
off all my credit cards fromgambling.
Erika (15:03):
That is so random. But I guess that's what she's saying,
that life was good and then thishappened.
Edgar (15:11):
Do I really be doing that sometimes?
Erika (15:13):
Well, yeah. I don't know, would you feel heartbroken if
this happened to you?
Edgar (15:18):
Not really. Because I get to say no matter how the real
parent is, they're still gonnahave some sort of respect and
reverence for them. No matterwhat the reality is. Because
it's their actual parents.Especially if they're so young,
they don't know any better.
Erika (15:34):
I mean, she's nine years old. Oh wait, no. Wait, one
second. She has a daughter Lily,nine.
Edgar (15:42):
Nine years old.
Erika (15:44):
I mean, dang, I'm trying to think what I was doing when I
was nine. Exactly, see?
Edgar (15:49):
So you don't even think it straight. If you can't
remember what you were doing atnine, this little kid is not
gonna remember a ceramic plateor bottle, whatever she made.
Erika (15:58):
Well, I have really bad memories, so I mean. But still,
I mean, I think I would feelsad. I wouldn't feel like, oh my
god, that I would be crying oranything like that. I think I
would feel really sad because Iwould think that, sure, you
shouldn't feel like you need toget validation every time if
(16:21):
you, especially if it's not yourchild, you don't need validation
for them. Especially if you'rejust doing it because you love
them and you just wanna be agood parent for them.
But I mean, it would be nice toget some validation here and
there. However, I don't know, Imean everybody has their
different way of reaction. Andif she's feeling some sort of
(16:42):
way, maybe she just feels thingsmore deeply. And there's nothing
wrong with that either.
Edgar (16:47):
I would say there is something wrong with that
because she's looking forvalidation from a child. I know
it's the child she's taken careof, but they're so frickle
anyway. So it's something that'sso fleeting to put so much
emphasis on it. It's not healthyfor her. Clearly she's not
reacting in a healthy way.
(17:07):
Because this is just a plate.
Erika (17:09):
I don't know. I mean, if she's trying her best to raise a
child, then she doesn't feel anyreassurance that she's doing a
good job as her having a littleflower or something or something
created for her and the project.It would be nice. But you know,
it's just one of those thingswhere, I guess it depends, not
(17:30):
always the other side is greenerthan, what is it called, what's
that? Oh my god, actually.
Edgar (17:34):
The grass is always greener the other side.
Erika (17:35):
Yeah, like what if she did have validation, you know?
Like it's just one of thosethings, I don't know. I think
she's valid to feel the way shefeels but if she feels so
distraught then maybe somethingelse is going on.
Edgar (17:49):
Yeah. And also, the art teacher did tell OP that
originally the sculpture was forOP and she just recently changed
it.
Erika (17:59):
Yeah, it's supposed
Edgar (18:00):
So, even despite that, she's still upset. So I feel
like that crosses the line interms of how emotionally wrecked
she is from this situation.
Erika (18:08):
Yeah, I think she just really focused on her friend's
feelings because she said shedidn't want to hurt her feelings
because her mom died, I believeis what she said, right? Yes.
So, you know, if I would've gotthat explanation then I'd be
like, oh okay, I understand. Itwasn't because I'm not a good
parent, it's because she wastrying to support her friend
(18:30):
that lost her mom. Okay, so topcomment is, I'm not saying this
to be harsh, but try to rememberthat this isn't about you.
It's about a child who's simplybeing in a space she's in, she's
nine, she's exploring, feeling,learning. It also doesn't mean
(18:51):
that she doesn't love you orcare about you, but at nine
she's not going to trulyunderstand what you're doing for
her. Be strong in who you are.It's always nice to get
validation, but you'reparenting. There's a lot of
times that parents get novalidation, and then there are
times that will make your heartwant to burst with joy.
I might suggest you considersome therapy. Your reaction
(19:11):
sounds a little big for this. Isanything else going on? Maybe
there are other issues. Most ofus have emotional wounds from
family or prior relationshipsthat can be helped with therapy.
And in the end, if yourstepdaughter is healthy and
happy overall, you're doing itright. So yeah, I agree with
that. I think with theexplanation of the teacher, I
(19:33):
think it would have beensufficed, you know what I mean?
And not continue with thewaterworks, but.
Edgar (19:41):
Yeah.
Erika (19:43):
Okay. So you think she overreact? Yeah, just a little.
Edgar (19:49):
Definitely. Definitely overreacted.
Erika (19:52):
Okay. The next story is, My son, 19, is getting fat on
purpose. I'm not sure who totalk to other than my therapist.
I want to know how to talk to myson, who I discovered is getting
fat on purpose. I have a singledad and widower forty four who
has three sons, 25, 20 one, and19.
(20:14):
Their mother passed away adecade ago. It's left a chasm in
our lives that's feltinsurmountable, but we've been
healing as a family. I pridemyself of being a loving and
understanding father. Andfortunately, my boys are green.
I have solid relationship withall three.
This boy is about 19. Since hewas young, he's been different
(20:34):
than his brothers. They wereathletic and outgoing, while
he's pudgy and reserved.Nineteen has struggled with
depression since his mom passedaway and gained weight on and
off due to medication. We hadvery hard times but we got
closer during COVID after hecame out as gay.
He's been doing much better andwe are ecstatic to see him get
(20:55):
into an Ivy League college lastyear. I noticed a change before
19 and went to college. Hegained weight that summer and
seemed more confident. When hereturned from breaks he'd be
larger and larger to the pointwhere he came home for Easter
and he was over three hundredpounds. To be clear, nineteen
(21:16):
gained more than 60 pounds sincelast summer.
I expressed my concern to himbut I acknowledge how happy he's
been. I just want him to behappy and healthy. He says that
he's been enjoying the diningplan and his social life, but he
gets where I'm coming from andhe'll start losing again. That
(21:37):
leads me to why I overheard. Ireturned home late from a date
one night thinking everyone wasasleep.
I went upstairs and saw lightfrom under nineteen's door. I
heard him speaking so I decidedto say hi before I went to bed.
I was about to knock on his doorwhen I heard him say something
that made me pause. Make mefatter. I stopped.
(22:00):
I put my ear on the door. Iheard him plead, Make me fatter.
I want to be fat, big blop. Makeme fatter, I want to be a whale,
so huge, so huge. I stoppedlistening.
I went to my room, I didn'tsleep well. I pretended
everything was normal withnineteen up until he left from
(22:23):
school. Now I'm stewing on thistopic and I feel so confused. I
don't know how to talk to himabout this. Nineteen's weight
has been to the point ofcontention in the past due to
his insecurities or societalexpectations.
There was always pressure tolose. I'm body positive, but I
want him to be healthy. Thatsaid, I do credit a lot of this
(22:45):
initial weight gain todepression medication, but now
it's a different story entirely.Please help me. What do I do?
Where do I go from here? I feelvery lost.
Edgar (22:56):
That child needs Jesus. A Bible in one hand and broccoli
in the other.
Erika (23:05):
Yeah, so crazy.
Edgar (23:08):
So So what do hear about it?
Erika (23:10):
Explain to me Okay, so I'm gonna read the top comment
here before we finish talking.
Edgar (23:16):
Okay, yeah, top comment.
Erika (23:19):
It sounds like he's in the feeder community and is a
feedie. I highly suggest youresearch this and check-in on
your son's health. The feedercommunity has a reputation to
slowly killing people even ifit's consensual. So explain to
me what that means, Vayne.
Edgar (23:36):
It's just like a relationship where it's like a
couple are together and one ofthem wants the other one to be
as fat as possible. So they givetheir partner as much food as
possible so they get bigger. Sothey gain like 203 pounds within
a few weeks or months.
Erika (23:55):
That's insane.
Edgar (23:56):
And that's like their fetish.
Erika (23:58):
And do they die? Mean, you're around that certain
weight gain, especially thatfast, it could really kill you.
Edgar (24:05):
I guess it's just people being weird.
Erika (24:08):
Oh my gosh. I mean, he definitely needs some type of
therapy and he needs to end thatrelationship.
Edgar (24:15):
Yeah, it's not probably like a, I wouldn't say it's a
helpful relationship that he'sin.
Erika (24:20):
No, definitely not. Think Is someone who encourages
Edgar (24:23):
you to be at your worst is not a good person for you?
Erika (24:27):
No, definitely not.
Edgar (24:28):
Especially if they their own interests.
Erika (24:31):
Yeah, I mean they're fetish. I mean I would say if
you're in a relationship youwould want somebody to make you
feel, wanna be your best, notyour worst. Wow, I wonder if
Edgar (24:43):
Maybe he's at his best at three hundred pounds.
Erika (24:45):
My gosh. I wonder if OP talked to him or searched it up.
Edgar (24:52):
I feel like this would be an awful conversation to have
with your kid.
Erika (24:55):
It says, That's a likely scenario. Finding acceptance and
validation from people who havefetishized fat people. There's
people who make careers out offilming themselves binge eating.
As an obese person, thankfullynowhere near three hundred, it
is not fun to be fat, sweating,chafing, clothes don't fit, then
sleep apnea and mobility issuesset in. It's so hard to turn
(25:18):
that around and even harder tofit in socially when you smell
and struggle to do basic things.
My point is that the outcome ofthis will affect his entire
life. Timing is critical. If hehas benefits, may qualify for
counseling or there could beoptions through his school. I
really hope he's not doing thisfor money because it's a whole
another kettle of fish. I thinkthis starts with a tough one on
(25:41):
one conversation but may requiremore persuasive intervention.
Edgar (25:47):
Yeah, I wasn't even thinking about if he was doing
this for money.
Erika (25:50):
My god, That would be worse.
Edgar (25:52):
Also, that's his public image up there.
Erika (25:55):
Man, this is insane.
Edgar (25:57):
The next Nick Avocado.
Erika (25:58):
Well, didn't he lose weight
Edgar (26:00):
now? Apparently.
Erika (26:02):
I know. I think it's just scary. I think needs, I I think
college is an amazing thing, Ithink exploring and learning to
speak to new people, you know,your boundaries have been lifted
and it's a good place toexplore. However, I think
(26:24):
sometimes when you find thewrong people, sometimes it can
really cost you your life or itcan really, you know, scar you
depending on the situation. So Ithink in this situation the poor
man has to just speak to him andget as much as, you know,
prepare what to say and how tosay it because you know how in,
(26:45):
I don't know, teenagers orwhatever, you tell them no, and
then they do the opposite andthey want to do it regardless.
Then they get in stuck with itand then regardless if they
don't want to do it no more,they want to do the opposite
that you're telling them. So heneeds to be very careful with
his wording too, especially withthis type of situation, you
know?
Edgar (27:01):
Overall that's like a sucky situation for OP to be in
because he has to do all thelegwork and all of the hard and
very uncomfortable conversationsand it's like not even
guaranteed to succeed.
Erika (27:11):
Yeah, I mean, what would you do? Like, what's your plan
to help your son out of this?
Edgar (27:15):
What son?
Erika (27:16):
If you had a son like that. Yo. Yo. Oh my god.
Edgar (27:25):
Exactly. What were you? What did you do?
Erika (27:28):
You're so new to us. Oh my gosh. I would say I would
talk to him. I would first getlike, do my research, try to see
what I can say and help him out.Talk to him one on one, try to
make him feel comfortable andnot thinking that I'm targeting
him, you know, because that'sthe worst thing you can do.
(27:50):
And making him feel validationand just trying to get him to
talk to somebody. And that'sabout it. I mean, if hopefully
from there he can a licensedtherapy can help him and see go
from there. Because there's noway I can't I don't have the
tools to try to help somebody inthe situation. You know, this is
(28:10):
where therapy would be amazing,because they have those tools,
and they'll be able to help himfind those tools to be, you
know, get out of that hole thathe's in right now.
That would be my game plan atleast. And if that doesn't help
then, I don't know. It's justone of those things where you'll
(28:31):
try to do your best butsometimes you don't always
succeed.
Edgar (28:36):
Yeah, for me when people are spiraling I just let them
spiral because anything lessyou're just enabling their
behavior. And another thing thatcould happen is if you're
helping them while they're attheir downtrend is they never
learn to live alone. They'realways going to need some help
and they eventually go back towhatever they're doing. So you
(28:59):
just let them get to whatever isthe bottom for them and then
they have to see for themselveshow they get out of it.
Otherwise they're just goingrely on help.
They're not going to learnanything meaningful.
Erika (29:11):
Well, I wouldn't say that because I feel like therapy,
it's not something that you, sotherapy is not meant to last
forever.
Edgar (29:21):
Mm-mm.
Erika (29:21):
Okay? So therapy is to give you those tools that you
don't know or you don't know howto use, or you might know, but
you don't know how to apply itto your job to your life. So
once you get taught those tools,how to handle situations, how to
handle emotions, how to forget,but to how to heal from your
(29:42):
past wounds and how to be abetter version of you, then, you
know, that's the type of therapyyou want because you heal
yourself in the process becauseyou have to put in the work.
Yeah. And I mean, sure, youcould do that by yourself, but
you know, there's no guaranteeyou're that you're trying to
find some, you know, somethingthat you could do with therapy
that could help you heal faster,because you have somebody there
(30:05):
to help you, instead of doing itall by yourself that could take
years, years that you don't knowthat you figure out how to do
yourself.
But I mean, I guess it's the wayit's how you see it. But I feel
like therapy is not a clutchthat you can never let go.
Therapy is something that youhold onto until you're ready to
(30:25):
go. You don't need it forever.So I think therapy for me would
be the best tool and the bestsolution in this case
especially.
Edgar (30:32):
I
Erika (30:35):
just hope that he finds a good solution and doesn't end in
a terrible call.
Edgar (30:42):
Yeah, hopefully before he reaches four hundred pounds.
Erika (30:45):
I mean, I would say a good intervention would be nice.
Edgar (30:50):
Yeah, the sooner the better.
Erika (30:52):
Yeah, definitely.
Edgar (30:54):
I guess what final advice would you give to him?
Erika (30:58):
Just, you you try as much as you can and you can't blame
yourself if you can't. You knowI mean? You gotta try to help
him out and hope for the best.
Edgar (31:08):
Yep, exactly. The next story is titled, Would I be the
Asshole for Not Telling MyHusband I Could Understand His
Phone Calls? My husband's firstlanguage is not English, while
English is the only language Ispeak. I've secretly been taking
online classes to learn hismother tongue. I haven't told
him because I want it to be asurprise and I'm waiting until
(31:29):
I'm further along.
I have this idea of bursting outfull sentences next year at
Christmas for his family orsomething. His parents speak
very limited English, socommunication is strained when
he isn't in the room fortranslate. My intentions are
good. How often do you get thechance to surprise the person
you love with the effort oflearning their language? The
only problem is that I amincreasingly able to understand
(31:52):
his phone calls with friends andfamily, and I feel like I'm
invading his privacy.
For example, sometimes I cantell he is talking about me.
Nothing too bad though. Justlike we hash eagle fight we've
had, I do the same with mygirlfriends. He doesn't say
anything hurtful, but it's stillthings I'm not sure he wouldn't
say if he knew I was listening.Also, I have to bite my tongue
(32:13):
to not say out loud my versionopinion of the story, and that
feels like I'm lying when I haveto purposely keep my face
neutral.
So my question is, would I bethe asshole to keep learning his
language in secret? Am Iinvading his privacy? Would you
be upset about your wife keepinga secret for a year or find the
effort sweet? I don't thinkshe's being the asshole and
(32:35):
trying to learn the language.Inadvertently, he's going to
start understanding his phonecalls and his conversations with
people who speak otherlanguages.
I don't think he's an asshole.Eavesdropping it that way. If he
really wanted that to be asecret, would do it in private,
not in front of her.
Erika (32:54):
Yeah, I don't think that she's the asshole. I think it's
sweet for her to find the timeand the effort to learn his
language and be able tocommunicate with him more or his
family. I mean if she does feelbad for listening to his
conversation you could alwaysleave the room or put headphones
on or you can give them privacy.It's just one of those things.
Edgar (33:17):
Exactly, she can usually just be like, Yeah, I want to do
something else. Don't want tolisten to this. Or anything
that's nice.
Erika (33:23):
Yeah, mean, would be kind of weird if every time you talk
on the phone she goes to thebathroom or she leaves.
Edgar (33:29):
I don't think it's that weird though. What what if you
want to concentrate onsomething? I wouldn't want to be
in the same room with someonetalking.
Erika (33:36):
I guess. But I would still say, you know, hey, maybe
just put headphones on orsomething if you don't want to
listen.
Edgar (33:44):
I think it would be funny though, ultimately. As soon as
she reveals like hey, know yourlanguage now, I think they're
gonna have a good laugh and belike oh, so you're listen all my
phone calls? Like all of them?And she'd be like yeah.
Erika (33:55):
Yeah, I mean that would be nice. I think you should
learn Spanish more.
Edgar (33:59):
Someday.
Erika (34:00):
I think you don't, oh my god.
Edgar (34:02):
I
Erika (34:05):
think it would be nice for you to speak to everybody in
your family, especially in yourCanadian family.
Edgar (34:09):
Yeah, I knew a tiny bit of French, but not enough to
talk to them, just understandlittle things they say.
Erika (34:16):
Yeah, took three years of French in high school. I mean, I
know I can't introduce myself,in certain words here and there,
but that's about it.
Edgar (34:23):
I'm not even good at speaking English, so.
Erika (34:25):
Oh, you mean? Yes, you are. You have no accent. So the
top comment is, oh, can justleave the
Edgar (34:33):
room. Exactly, yeah. Problem solved.
Erika (34:36):
OP said, we live in a studio apartment so there isn't
anywhere I can go. But you'reright, I could put earbuds in
without being too suspicious.
Edgar (34:44):
Exactly, She knows it's like the largest issue, but it's
Yeah,
Erika (34:49):
but she wouldn't be that, so I think she's really super
sweet for doing that.
Edgar (34:54):
And it looks like OP's husband or fiance isn't saying
anything bad either way. Sofinal verdict?
Erika (35:01):
I would say that she would not be the asshole since
she's doing this to be more apart of his culture and closer
to his family and himself. So Ithink it'll be like a sweet
thing he will look upon with asmile and kindness. Okay, so the
(35:22):
next story is Am I the Assholefor Yelling at My Neighbor and
Telling Them to Get DivorcedBecause Their Arguing Keeps Me
Up At Night? I have been rentingthis house with my sister for
the past year. It's great and Ilike the area, but there's one
problem, my neighbors.
My neighbors are a family andthey're perfectly nice in our
(35:44):
interactions. But the problem isthat the couple will go to their
backyard and start screaming,arguing every single night for
like two hours. It's so loudthat it causes both my dog and
the dogs in the surrounding areato get riled up. On top of this,
my bedroom is next to the areathey argue at. It's been like
(36:04):
three months.
The cops have been called onthem. I've talked to the husband
about it. Nothing happens. Ican't wear noise canceling
earbuds because my sister isdisabled and I need to be aware
if she needs me at night. Twoweeks ago, I come home exhausted
from a bad day at work and Ijust wanted to sleep in.
(36:25):
At about 2AM they start withtheir usual arguments. The wife
is shouting and the husband isscreeching I don't know
repeatedly, something he does alot. And dogs have begun
barking. The frustration ofbeing tired and knowing that I
had to get up in two hours justfinally made me snap. I opened
(36:45):
my window and screamed, Youdon't know?
You don't know? If you don'tknow now, you won't know later.
So can you lunatics just getdivorce ready and shut up,
please? My voice was shaking andcrackling from the volume. Well,
they did get quiet and it wascrickets for the rest of the
(37:06):
night.
For the past two weeks, thenights have been radio silent.
Whenever I see them whileleaving my house, they avoid eye
contact with me. Who can blamethem? I feel really bad, but I
was just so tired and frustratedand I just couldn't hold it in
anymore. I want to apologize,but my girlfriend's been telling
me I just need to let it go andthat I had every right to react
(37:29):
the way I did.
But I don't know, I just feelguilty. I want to say it's none
of my business, but at thispoint I unwillingly know about
these two strangers' love lifemore than I know about my own
mother. So, am I the asshole ofhow I reacted?
Edgar (37:45):
No. I think anyone would be frustrated if they had
neighbors like that.
Erika (37:50):
Oh my god, yes.
Edgar (37:52):
Like don't the neighbors feel any shame at all? Like just
screaming out in the public likethat? Like we have neighbors
like that, right?
Erika (37:57):
I would be frustrated. And the cops were called and
they're still doing it? Like, dothey have no self preservation?
Like, damn.
Edgar (38:06):
Exactly. But at least it looks like they've banded
together finally over a commonenemy, which is OP. Finally.
Erika (38:14):
I think if you wanna argue, argue inside your house
in the basement. If you'reyelling, go into a soundproofing
room if you have one. I don'tknow, just keep it inside the
house. Nobody needs to hear yourbusiness. Nobody needs to know
you're arguing, nobody needs tohear yelling.
Edgar (38:29):
No one wants to hear that.
Erika (38:30):
Especially at two in the morning, come on people.
Edgar (38:32):
Yeah,
Erika (38:35):
so I think OP was not in the wrong. I'm glad he did that.
Edgar (38:38):
Especially like, they were right outside his window
basically.
Erika (38:43):
Yeah, and I mean, this is not the first time this has
happened. There's been callingthe cops, there's been talking
to him separately, there's beenmultiple chances where they
could've been better becausethey had been told to, but they
still didn't care. So I think, Imean, one more hit and it broke
the camel's toe. Was it thecamel's toe?
Edgar (39:04):
Camel's back.
Erika (39:04):
Camel's back? So the top comment is do not apologize. If
any apology owed, they owe it toyou. To all the other neighbors
and their dogs as well. Not theasshole.
I hope your little snap has toput them in earthly volumes for
good.
Edgar (39:22):
Yeah, we'll see how it goes, but I think it's like a
good first step. I think rightnow they're uncomfortable
because like they're finallybeing called out for being like
annoying. But yeah, maybe theyhave so much respect and they're
just, at least if they're gonnabe fighting, they'll fight
inside.
Erika (39:38):
Yeah, or at least I don't know argue tightly. Or like do
thanks. I don't know. Yeah, Imean well it doesn't seem like
they're pissed off and they justavoid eye contact so maybe they
feel a little bit ashamed. Maybea little bit, hopefully.
I don't know, would you havereacted the same way? Would you
let it get that far, I guess?When would you be like, that's
(40:01):
it, that's enough?
Edgar (40:03):
I guess it depends on how bad it is, but I think it have
to be a very annoying and veryloud argument for me to do that,
just step outside and yell backat them. But I've been lucky
with all my neighbors for thepast years and years. They've
been pretty good I guess. Or atleast I don't hear about them
ever.
Erika (40:22):
Yeah, except you know that neighbor in front of us?
Edgar (40:25):
I could barely hear them.
Erika (40:27):
Oh my god, they'd be yelling.
Edgar (40:29):
They probably were much worse than before.
Erika (40:31):
No, they used to be, it used to be really bad. Like they
used to yell and the whole blockwould hear them because we were
in front of But yeah, it wascrazy. They would hear like,
like it was bad and then thedogs started barking. And then
my dogs were bark. It was crazy.
But yeah, mean, it's better nowyou don't hear them arguing
(40:54):
anymore. Thank God. So
Edgar (40:57):
your final verdict?
Erika (40:59):
No, I don't think he's the asshole at all. I think he
did good. He got them to stoparguing at two in the morning.
Edgar (41:09):
Exactly, yeah. He did what had to be done.
Erika (41:13):
Yeah, definitely. So that's all the stories we have
today. Thank you for tuning intothis week's episode. Check out
our website, www.yappings.com,and join our mailing list for
updates. If you love our podcastand want to support us,
subscribe and share to yourfriends and family.
We would appreciate this somuch.
Edgar (41:33):
Also, have a Facebook group called AITA relationship
and family drama, linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share a mighty asshole post youlike or share your own stories
for us all to judge. We may evenread a few posts in one of our
episodes.
Erika (41:48):
Thank you. Bye.
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