May 12, 2025 • 35 mins
Buckle up for a wild ride through Toxic Oversights – those facepalm moments when good sense took a vacation!
Erika and Edgar (your favorite Yapping Schnauzers) are dishing out six jaw-dropping Reddit tales full of ignored boundaries and hilarious cringe. We’ve got a bestie agonizing over whether to warn someone about a stalker-ish ex, a cat-allergic girlfriend dodging a furry ambush on Mother’s Day, and a hapless boyfriend stuck in an endless "I love you" loop with his girlfriend’s dad. Plus, a mom who won’t let her toddler steal big sis’s birthday candles, a funeral bombshell revealing one bride-to-be is about to marry her surprise half-brother (yep, you read that right), and a confused Brit whose Starbucks coffee run turns into an accidental date invite. With dramatic flair, snarky asides, and nonstop laughter, Erika and Edgar gossip their way through every “OMG, did that just happen?” moment – so grab your popcorn and let the yapping begin!
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- 🕵️♂️ WIBTA if I contact my friend’s ex fiancé to warn him about her creepy behavior?
- 🐈⬛ WIBTAH if I said no to a Mother’s Day lunch with my boyfriend’s mom?
- 💌 Accidentally Told My Girlfriend's Dad "I Love You" — Now He Won't Stop Saying It Back???
- 🎂 AITAH for not letting my husband relight my daughter's birthday candles for my 3 y/o?
- 🧬 AITA for exposing my late dad’s secret second family at his funeral because my sister was about to marry our half-brother??
- ☕ I asked the lady at Starbucks out by accident
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with yap worthy stories we findaround the web. So today's theme
is Toxic Oversights.
Edgar (00:14):
The first story is titled, Would I be the asshole
if I contact my friend's exfiance to warn him about her
creepy behavior? Recently myfriend and her fiance broke it
off. I'm honestly not reallysure what happened, but she
claimed that he ghosted her andthen threatened a restraining
order afterwards. I feel I don'thave all the details and
(00:37):
something tells me there is moreto the story. Anyways, they were
living together and shared mostof all their accounts, including
cameras inside the home.
She claims she still has accessto them and has told me how she
looked at them on more than oneoccasion so she knows what he's
doing, etc. She even mentionedhow she knows where he is at
times because she still getsemails I guess with statements
(01:00):
of things so she knows when he'sout of town and where he is. I
asked her why she doesn't justremove herself from these
accounts and even told her howit was a stalkerish in a joking
manner because it is and Ididn't want to upset her, but
she just says that it's aprocess to get the stuff
switched over, etc. It soundedlike total bullshit and I think
(01:21):
it's really inappropriate. Iunderstand being curious, but I
feel like watching the feed fromcameras inside his home is a
major privacy violation.
I don't know if he would respondif I tried reaching out and I
don't really want to throw herunder the bus, but I'm thinking
about just reaching out andtelling him he should remove her
from all connected accounts withno explanation. Would it be
(01:43):
appropriate in this situation orwould I be the asshole?
Erika (01:48):
This is a hard one.
Edgar (01:49):
Mean Hard? What about this is hard?
Erika (01:52):
Because it's not your relationship or it's not your
business. I mean, obviouslydoing the right thing means
telling the guy, but your friendtold you this in confidence, so
you're just gonna throw herunder the bus.
Edgar (02:10):
I mean, you don't have to throw her under the bus
necessarily.
Erika (02:14):
Like, how should?
Edgar (02:14):
You do this more tactfully. Like, imagine Opie
could do is he shouldn't justvisit his friend's house and
then once he sees the camerashe'd be like, just mention it.
Like, oh, that the cameras youhad with your ex?
Erika (02:29):
But why would she even go to her house? It's her ex.
Edgar (02:32):
No, no, remember OP.
Erika (02:33):
It's OP's ex friend, no, it's OP's friend's ex. Why would
she go to his house?
Edgar (02:41):
Excuse would because it's OP's friend.
Erika (02:43):
But what if they're not close enough for her to go to
the house? That would be soawkward. Be like, Hey, can I
just stop by? Why?
Edgar (02:52):
I guess so. But I think still, I mean, that's like the,
if in an ideal situation she'daccidentally stumble upon his
house tell them. But I thinkthat she should because it's a
pretty cupri anyways and if Ihad cameras around my house and
an ex or someone I didn't knowor wasn't close to it, I would
(03:14):
like to know if they werewatching me because that would
be very
Erika (03:19):
creepy for That's so weird. So we have a camera for
the dogs to see them when weleave. So it would be weird if
we break up and then, well youdon't even have the code now but
if I gave you the code and thenyou would still have it and you
would be watching me in thedark, that'd be so weird.
Edgar (03:34):
I know, yeah, it'd be pretty strange.
Erika (03:36):
Yeah, I mean, going off of what you said, I didn't say I
don't believe she should nottell her, I just said, you know,
it's kinda like a dilemma.However, if she does wanna tell
him, she could always do itanonymously.
Edgar (03:50):
How?
Erika (03:51):
She could create a fake account and tell them, you know,
I know OP, and she told me thatshe, you know, does this, this
and that, and then delete thataccount. And now if he doesn't
believe her, then what is whatit is, but you tried reaching
out.
Edgar (04:05):
I mean it's like a good point anyway, that if you have
shit accounts, if you guysaren't together, you should try
to find a way to like, well Iguess you shouldn't even be
considering doing it carefully,like kick them out of the
account if you own it.
Erika (04:19):
Yeah, mean, definitely. I think I would reset all my
passwords if we were to break upor something. You know I mean?
It's kind of weird.
Edgar (04:25):
I think, yeah. And then OP's friend has like some
issues, like still looking atall that stuff.
Erika (04:31):
Yeah, she sounds like she's a little bit
Edgar (04:34):
Is definitely stuck where she's
Erika (04:35):
Yeah, it's not
Edgar (04:36):
It's probably unhealthy for her as well, like she's not
able to move on if she justspends most of her days or
whatever. She spends her freetime just watching.
Erika (04:44):
Checking up on him, yeah.
Edgar (04:46):
That's weird. Washing and checking up on him.
Erika (04:48):
So the top comment is yes, and then dump your friend.
She sounds like trouble.
Edgar (04:53):
Yeah, she sounds pretty creepy. Like I can imagine if
this is the kind of thing she'scaught doing, imagine things
she's not caught doing.
Erika (05:00):
I know, but then again, if she's kind of a, you know,
maybe a little bit moresaturation and you did something
to her, like she finds out thatyou told the boyfriend or the ex
boyfriend,
Edgar (05:11):
More reason why to not be their friend.
Erika (05:14):
Yeah, but now she knows where you live, what you do and
whatever, what if she wants tolike get back at you?
Edgar (05:20):
I'll at least even try.
Erika (05:23):
Oh my goodness. But so yeah, you just have to be
careful, would say. Like I said,anonymously, it's the best bet.
There is an update. Update.
I set up a Google number andsent a text, but I haven't heard
anything back yet. I have nevercommunicated with him over the
phone before and I only had hisnumber that my friend gave me a
while back in case of emergency.So I'm waiting for a response
(05:45):
before I share the details ofwhat I know just in case this
number isn't active anymore oris someone else's number. I
figure I'll give it some timefirst then move on to the other
venues of contact. I appreciateall the advice from you guys so
far.
I'll have recommended reachinghim at work, but he doesn't work
close enough for me to drop by.Anyway, I like to remain
(06:06):
anonymous to avoid any backlash.I don't want to release too many
details on the chance she wereto come across the post, but the
ex fiance has a pretty fancy joband is one of the higher ups of
the company, so he also hascameras set up in his office
there that she has beenwatching. Oh my god, that's even
(06:27):
worse. She's been watching himat his job too.
I'm pretty sure this is superillegal for her to be listening
and stuff too depending on whatshe hears. I'll keep you guys
posted though. After that therehasn't been any updates, so
hopefully she got to reach him.
Edgar (06:43):
Definitely like very creepy, you know, like, yeah,
like she's just kind of, likeOP's friend is like just messing
herself up, like getting likejust caught up into her ex that
like isn't even like in his lifeanymore.
Erika (06:57):
Yeah, I think she needs to move on. She's just holding
on and there's no, there's just,it's not going to end well.
Edgar (07:05):
Definitely not. Do you think the OP should reach out to
the friend that just said tostop looking? Because like, it
could be pretty bad for her?
Erika (07:14):
No, I mean I don't know how stable she is. You know what
I mean? If she's doing all thisstuff, like for example, if
we're talking about it and weknow that's not correct, well
maybe we don't know what herstate of mind is right now. And
if she was to tell her to stop,we don't know if there might be
some, you know, like, oh you'remaking it out of, you know, I
(07:36):
don't know, maybe she could justget backlash from her or
something like that. So I'drather just stay out of it
because you could give heradvice but you have no right in
telling her to stop doingsomething that you think is
wrong.
Edgar (07:48):
Yes, if I know better.
Erika (07:50):
I would say she is not the asshole. Think she's right
in telling him but I would sayjust stay anonymous.
Edgar (07:56):
Yeah, I think overall, not an asshole to warn the guy.
Probably for his safety, keep itanonymous.
Erika (08:03):
Yeah, I agree. The next story is, would I be the asshole
if I said no to a Mother's Daylunch with my boyfriend's mom?
I, 22 female, and my boyfriend,24 male, invited me to his house
tomorrow for a Mother's Daylunch with his parents. I
hesitant on going because I'mallergic to cats and there has
been multiple situations whereit has been promised that the
(08:26):
cats were going to be keptinside and they have not kept
the promise. The first situationwas when I actually found out I
was allergic, was when we haddinner.
The cat is not my boyfriend'sfamily, it's his twin brother
and his girlfriend who's rudeand treats me like shit. We were
at dinner, she gets the cat andproceeds to hold and let the cat
be near me and the table and I'mwheezing and coughing. The
(08:51):
second time was when I was athis house and I was sitting on
the couch and the cat was in thebox and was literally sat next
to me. Those were the big onesbut every time I'm at the house
he tells his brother to keep thecat inside and every single time
the cat has escaped or theyforgot to lock the room. Just
early this morning we went tohis house and his brother said
(09:12):
the cats are inside.
We walked in the house and thecat was in the house. So, would
she be the asshole?
Edgar (09:19):
Well, I'm pretty biased to cats. But I can see why it
would be annoying to be in thatsituation when you're not
expecting that kind of company.
Erika (09:29):
I think it's a little bit deeper than that. Just because
depending on how severe herallergic reaction is, it could
really cause health issues orshe could die or she would need
a pen, you know, EpiPen. I mean,she says she's really allergic
and if they're aware of that andthey continue to have the cats
around her then I don't thinkit's safe for her to go to their
(09:51):
house. Even though the boyfriendis asking her, I don't think
it's fair of him to expect thatknowing that her health is at
risk.
Edgar (10:00):
Yeah, I mean it shouldn't be that hard to just lock the
cats in a room, just like atleast while she's there.
Erika (10:06):
Exactly, I mean when we have the dogs over at my
parents' house, we lock them inthe room and it's that simple.
Edgar (10:15):
But then again, how many people, I guess it depends on
where this is. Like in citiesthere's not a lot of room to
spare in most places.
Erika (10:23):
Yeah, but I mean, don't think, I mean you have a
bedroom, the cat can stay in thebedroom.
Edgar (10:29):
I don't think it's Better than some people don't like
having their pets in their bedfor some reason.
Erika (10:35):
It's only one hour or two when they're there for dinner
and then leave.
Edgar (10:38):
But that's just their mindset. That's why maybe they
think that that's worth havingOP or having I guess suffering
from their pets and theirallergies.
Erika (10:48):
But what's baffling to me is that it's not even his
parents' cat, it's the brother'sgirlfriend's cat.
Edgar (10:55):
I know, she's like someone totally random.
Erika (10:57):
I know, I don't understand why the cat is even
coming. I don't get it.
Edgar (11:03):
I wouldn't bring my, like, even like Bella, Selena,
Lila. Like, I wouldn't bring herdogs, like, into a random
person's house.
Erika (11:09):
No, that's weird.
Edgar (11:13):
Maybe it's like an emotional support cat.
Erika (11:16):
Do we even have that as emotional support cats? I've
always seen dogs but I've neverseen such I just imagine any
Edgar (11:22):
animal could be an emotional support animal.
Erika (11:24):
I guess. So there is an update. We are eating out. He
told his family he doesn't wantme in the house because of the
past situations. So theboyfriend was very thoughtful
and he was by her side and stuckup to her.
So I'm glad he's able to sayokay, I don't want her to go
through this, we're bleeding outand avoid all the problems.
(11:47):
Right?
Edgar (11:47):
Yeah, simple solution actually.
Erika (11:49):
Exactly. So the top comment is not the asshole, your
boyfriend is asking you to goknowing more than likely your
health is compromised, isinconsiderate on his part. But
that's wonderful he sticks upfor you. To be honest, that's
the bare minimum. He should bemaking sure the cats are put
away and locked away, whateverto make sure you don't have a
medical emergency.
If he gets upset or pushes aboutit, tell him you'd love to honor
(12:12):
his mother on location thatwon't put you in the hospital.
You don't need to compromiseyourself for someone who has no
regard for your health. So Ithink the boyfriend did good.
Edgar (12:22):
Pretty straight thinking. It's an easy solution and it
doesn't really make anyone upsetbecause they're eating out.
Probably they're eating outsomeplace, well hopefully
they're eating out someplacewhere they all enjoy their food.
Erika (12:34):
Yeah. So I think it's a good idea. I think a solution
was made by her boyfriend and hedid good.
Edgar (12:42):
Final verdict?
Erika (12:43):
I don't think she's an asshole. I mean I think if she
said no I wouldn't blame her. Imean having a very bad reaction
to the cat is literally lifethreatening. So, if she doesn't
want to go I don't think sheshould be put against.
Edgar (12:57):
Yeah, I don't make the OP's the asshole. The next story
is titled, Accidentally Told MyGirlfriend's Dad I Love You, Now
He Won't Stop Saying It Back.So, last weekend I was leaving
my girlfriend's house afterdinner with her family. Super
casual night tacos, a movie,good vibes all around. Her dad
and I have always had thispolite, slightly awkward
(13:20):
relationship, you know?
Like, we nod at each other andoccasionally comment on the
weather, like we're both NPCs inthe same video game. Anyways, I
was tired, full, feeling warmand fuzzy after she hugged me
goodbye at the door. Her dadwalks me out to my car again,
super chill. He pats me on theshoulder and says, Drive safe.
And that's when it happened.
(13:40):
Without thinking, I say, Youtoo. Love you. Like I was on the
phone with my mom or something.He paused, I paused, the air
shattered, and then the mansmiled, nodded slowly, and said,
'Love you too, buddy.' What? Idrove off into the night with my
soul in shambles.
Fast forward to every visitsince. This fan now ends every
(14:03):
single interaction with,Alright, see you later. Love
you. Sometimes with a wank. Oncewith a thumbs up.
Bro, you cannot make this anymore uncomfortable to read. My
girlfriend thinks this ishilarious. Her mom keeps giving
me weird looks. I don't know ifhe's messing with me or if I am
now unofficially part of thefamily in the weirdest way
possible. So Reddit, do I own itand say love you back forever?
(14:27):
Try to phase it out? Have aformal we need to talk about the
love thing conversation? Anyadvice of similar accidental
intimacy stories would begreatly appreciated.
Erika (14:39):
I mean, this is cute. It's a green flag. I don't think
it's weird.
Edgar (14:44):
I guess it depends on I feel like this is based on the
dad's look. Imagine if he waslike Cotter, she wouldn't be so
weirded out, or maybe if hewasn't so old and awkward about
it. The thumbs up is like, ifsomeone thumbs up after saying
love you like that, and we'renot anything more than platonic,
(15:04):
I'd just be weirded out.
Erika (15:06):
Well it's the dad and you're the boyfriend, what's
wrong about it?
Edgar (15:10):
What do you mean, like if your dad said that to me?
Erika (15:12):
Yeah, mean you're part of the family, what's wrong with
it? Would you feel weirded out?
Edgar (15:18):
I think I would feel weirded out if it feels like
flirty.
Erika (15:21):
But I don't think this is flirty. Think this is just like,
know, love you, like, good luckbuddy. I mean, love you too
buddy. Like, don't think it'sanything flirty. I think this is
like just him just welcome himto the family.
I don't see anything flirtyabout it at all.
Edgar (15:37):
Oh, wait, I thought that Opie was a girl. I just read we
read the title.
Erika (15:40):
Oh my god.
Edgar (15:41):
Okay, guess, yeah, in this case, it's not flirty. I
was thinking that Opie was agirl and the dad was like
flirting with her somehow. Butno, I think this is just like a
weird and awkward welcome linkto the family. But yeah, guess
in that case, yeah, I don'tthink there should be anything
to be weirded out about. But Iguess it's a little bit weird
(16:03):
that the mother seems to bejealous.
Erika (16:06):
I think she just wants a relationship with him too,
saying, Oh, you just tell him Ilove you, but you don't tell me
love you to me. You know, maybe?
Edgar (16:13):
Hopefully that's it.
Erika (16:16):
I think that's adorable. I think they have a, I think you
should just keep going with it.
Edgar (16:20):
Yeah, perhaps, yeah. They can be like, have a bromance.
Erika (16:26):
And then the top comment is, that's all green flags. Her
dad likes you and making a jokeof it, own it. Express all the
love. Exactly.
Edgar (16:34):
Oh, well.
Erika (16:35):
He was so dramatic. The air shattered was insane.
Edgar (16:38):
I know. Maybe he played it up a little, but
Erika (16:40):
I think this is a cute story. I think he should
definitely just go with it.
Edgar (16:45):
Yeah, I do think it's a little heartwarming. I like to
imagine the dad's this bigsix'eight brawly guy saying,
Love you too.
Erika (16:56):
I know, right? And it's just picturing too, just a
really muscular guy, tall, bald,I don't know. We have
Edgar (17:03):
the same vision with this guy.
Erika (17:04):
I know.
Edgar (17:06):
Yeah, so final advice for OP?
Erika (17:08):
Yeah, just go with it, OP. He likes you, you should be
happy about that.
Edgar (17:13):
Yeah, maybe if you're lucky you walk down the aisle
with him.
Erika (17:16):
You're so funny. But you could have a second father, it's
really nice.
Edgar (17:20):
Or a second daddy.
Erika (17:22):
You're so funny. Anyways, the second story, I mean, next
story is, am I the asshole fornot letting my husband relight
my daughter's birthday candlesfor my three year old to blow
out? I, 32 female, have seen andread plenty of stories where
spoiled kids have blown outother kids' candles or thrown a
(17:42):
fit when they're not allowed to.My husband, thirty five male,
apparently has not. Friday wasmy daughter's tenth birthday.
The day off, I will make themthe food of their choice and a
small cake. The party is usuallya later date. After we ate, we
got her cake ready and my threeyear old was very excited. I had
explained to him all throughoutthe day that it was his sister's
(18:04):
birthday, not his. So he had towait for the cake.
We lit the candles, sang happybirthday, and she blew out the
candles. This might be where Imight have been an asshole. My
husband grabbed the lighter andtried to relight them so the
baby could blow them out too. Isaid no. It's daughter's
birthday and I refuse to allowmy son to be one of those bull
(18:27):
kids that can't understand it'snot their day.
His face fell immediately. Hesaid he was just trying to help
and keep the baby happy. Wedropped it there. He was kinda
quiet the rest of the night. Ididn't mean to come off harsh.
I just didn't want my daughterto feel like she had to share
her day or that it wasn't allabout her. Would she be the
(18:48):
asshole?
Edgar (18:48):
It's like a little bit conflicting for me, like how I
feel about this.
Erika (18:52):
I know, me too.
Edgar (18:54):
Because I understand, yeah, it's like cute to have
like both kids, like both littlekids, like blow the candles, but
also they do make a point thatnot every single day, like every
single special day has to becelebrated by everybody.
Erika (19:08):
I just think about the repercussions. Like for example,
let's say it's the sister,right? Know, fine, they're
related, they're family. Butlet's say it's a family friend
and then what are gonna do? Oh,can you light up the candle
because my three year old wantsto blow it too.
Like, you can't expect that,like that's not okay. You need
(19:31):
to teach your three year oldthat your sister's special day,
you should not have your blowout the candle either. You know
what mean? It's just one ofthose things where you have to
respect and show boundaries.
Edgar (19:44):
Exactly, otherwise they're just gonna expect that
all the time. Then they're justgonna throw a fit if you don't
do it.
Erika (19:51):
Yeah, I think it's just hard. Think being a parent is
hard. I'm not a parent, so Idon't the extent, to what
extent. But I would just say, Ithink she wasn't harsh. I think
it was a good lesson for him tolearn.
Edgar (20:07):
So the top comment was deleted, we're gonna be reading
the second top comment.
Erika (20:12):
Which is, Kids need to learn that not everything
revolves around them. Teachingyour son to respect his sister's
special moment is goodparenting, not cruelty. Exactly.
It's not fair that the littlegirl has to share her special
time or her special moment whenit's not necessary or it's a
must. Have you seen thosevideos?
Edgar (20:34):
What?
Erika (20:35):
Where there's like a 10 year old, nine year or older
sisters blowing out theircandles and you see a little kid
trying to blow their candles.Have you seen them?
Edgar (20:44):
No, but I can imagine how that would happen. Like I feel
like a lot people think it'scute, but I feel like long term
it teaches like the kid blowingthe other kid's birthday
candles. Like it teaches themlike a bad lesson.
Erika (20:56):
Yeah.
Edgar (20:57):
And there's some kind of lessons like especially early on
that get imprinted on them andthat's just how they see the
world.
Erika (21:03):
Yeah, I've seen a lot of them actually. There's been so
many where the little girls orthe boy or whatever had to stop
them from blowing, because theparents aren't doing anything.
Yeah. And you see the littlegirl stopping them and they
start throwing a fit, likegrabbing her, pulling them,
trying to bite them, pulling ontheir hair because they wanna.
Edgar (21:23):
The next generation is cooked.
Erika (21:25):
It's just insane. I'm like, it's literally the
parents' fault here. They're notshowing the baby that it's not
okay.
Edgar (21:32):
Yeah, it's like, it's nourishing the entitlement in
them.
Erika (21:37):
Yeah, no boundaries. It's just lack of boundaries right
there. And this is so importantto teach your child because not
everybody's gonna allow you orallow them to cross the boundary
and let them do what they wannado.
Edgar (21:50):
Yeah. May God have mercy on them if they try to blow my
candles off.
Erika (21:53):
You're so funny.
Edgar (21:54):
They'll be like, be a combo.
Erika (21:56):
You're crazy. But I just think it's just one of those
things where I don't think shewas an asshole at all. At least
that's my final verdict.
Edgar (22:06):
That's your final verdict?
Erika (22:07):
Mhmm. I think she did good.
Edgar (22:09):
Yeah, I think harsh lessons are better than no
lessons for something that needsa lesson for kids.
Erika (22:16):
Yeah, or maybe somebody else teaches him a lesson later
on and you kinda don't wantthat. You'd rather you teach
them, you know, obviously, Iwouldn't say in a nice way, but
more of a, you know, early on.
Edgar (22:29):
The next story is titled Am I the Asshole for Exposing My
Late Dad's Secret Second Familyat His Funeral Because My Sister
Was About to Marry Our HalfBrother. Yeah, this is going to
sound fake, but I swear it'sreal and I honestly don't know
what else I could have done. I,28 female, lost my dad three
weeks ago. He was a respectedguy in a small town, former
(22:52):
police chief, very communityinvolved, basically treated like
a saint. Growing up it was justme, my little sister Emily,
twenty five female, and ourparents.
We weren't rich or anything, butwe were close, or sorry I
thought. Anyways, Emily gotengaged recently to this guy,
Ben, twenty nine male. They metlast year at a local theatre and
(23:15):
just instantly clicked. He movedhere for work and didn't really
have any family. They wereplanning on a small elopement
right after the funeral, just toget it over with.
So, she was very happy, likeglowing. While helping my mom go
through dad's old stuff for thefuneral slideshow, she gave me a
flash drive of a bunch of oldphotos. Most of them were
(23:38):
normal, but then I found a bunchthat I didn't recognize.
Different women, different kids.One of the kids was Ben.
I mean, literally him. Sameexact eyes, same weird scar on
his lip, everything. At first Ithought maybe I was losing it
from the grief or whatever, butthen I found a letter from that
same woman, Ben's mom, talkingabout protecting Ben from the
(24:01):
truth and how she understands mydad had to stay with his
daughters. I confronted my momand she just broke down crying.
She told me the truth.
My dad had a secret secondfamily in a town like forty
minutes away for ten years. Hehad a whole ass other son. They
ended it when Emily was a baby.Mom made him promise to never
(24:24):
tell us and they pretended itnever happened. So, I grew up
thinking my dad was this great,solid guy and he was just living
a devil life.
I begged my mom to say somethingto Emily, but she refused. Said
I would destroy her. But Emilywas literally going to marry
this man. So yeah, I told herthe day of the funeral. Probably
(24:45):
terrible timing, but what am Isupposed to do?
Wait until after the honeymoon?Oh my gosh, you're She didn't
believe me at first, so I showedher the photos, the letters. She
started shaking and lockedherself in the bathroom. Yeah. I
would lock myself in thebathroom too.
Erika (25:02):
I wouldn't I don't even know what I would
Edgar (25:04):
do. Okay. Ben knew. Ben knew. He admitted it when she
confronted him.
He said it wasn't a big dealbecause they didn't grow up
together, and technically itwasn't illegal. Like, what? Dude
watched Game of Thrones once andgot some ideas, I guess? Yeah.
Erika (25:21):
This was
Edgar (25:22):
crazy. Emily called it off. She's staying with her
friend. Ben moved out. My momisn't speaking to me.
She says, I shamed the familyduring a sacred time and
destroyed dad's legacy. A few ofmy cousins are siding with her.
As I said, I did the rightthing. Okay, so the ones that
sided with her mom, like,they're sus. You're sick.
All of them are sus. I feel sickand just really empty. Maybe it
(25:45):
wasn't my place to drop thatkind of bomb at a funeral, but I
couldn't let her marry her halfbrother and live a lie, right?
Erika (25:52):
100%. You did Emily a solid.
Edgar (25:56):
Exactly, yeah. It could have been even more scarring. I
mean, it's probably prettyscarring already, considering
you were going to elope and allthat stuff. Oh my god. And the
fact that Ben knew about it.
Erika (26:05):
That's so wrong in
Edgar (26:06):
so many That's like a weird form of narcissism.
Erika (26:12):
Oh my god, just because they're not legal. What do you
mean?
Edgar (26:17):
Is this in Alabama? What
Erika (26:21):
in Alabama? Oh my gosh, I'm Okay, so this is literally a
live reaction of this becauseall I saw was the title and I
was like this must be good. I'mlike in shock. And then Ben
knew? Oh my god.
Exactly,
Edgar (26:36):
yeah. I just don't know why the cousins would side with
the mom and this. I feel likeit's pretty cut and dry. Yeah,
of course stop this fromhappening. Stop the madness.
Erika (26:49):
I mean, I get that it was his funeral, but come on, they
were literally gonna elope. Theyhad no choice.
Edgar (26:55):
Exactly. I mean, yeah, mom knew all this at the same
time, too.
Erika (26:59):
And it's her fault for not saying anything. She
could've avoided this when theywere dating, but because she
wanted to keep the legacy of himbeing a good dad and not being a
liar and having a side familyfor ten years.
Edgar (27:12):
Twenty, thirty years.
Erika (27:13):
Oh, okay. Was this for ten years, he had a host? Okay.
I mean for a long time.
Edgar (27:17):
Yeah, I mean maybe he was actively a part of Ben's life
for ten years, but that's evenweirder. Like I just don't
understand. I feel like the momcould have just, as soon as saw
Ben, just kick him out of townIf he really wanted to preserve
the family legacy. Because whywould Ben be there? Like, it's
just very weird and all that
Erika (27:35):
Yeah, I think she was just in denial. I she just I
think she's just in full ondenial and she didn't want to
accept that he had anotherfamily, and so she kept lying to
herself for years. She lied toherself so much that she
literally made her believe thatthat was the truth, that he
(27:57):
didn't have another family.
Edgar (27:58):
Yeah, she gaslighted herself, too. Yeah,
Erika (28:02):
and the fact that he was made up to be a great, respected
guy in a small town, thereputation would have been
literally on the floor if thepolice chief had another wife
Edgar (28:15):
four weeks I mean, he still could been seen as the
great guy he was, how he acted.But I mean, having us all blow
up in the most important timenot important time, but the time
where everyone's payingattention to this dead guy,
that's definitely gonna stainson relationships.
Erika (28:30):
I guess karma does come back, but mean, damn.
Edgar (28:34):
That's crazy. I mean, everyone should be mad at Ben at
this. This is so messed up. Hewas like the true villain in
this. If there was an asshole inthis story, it was Ben.
Because Ben did not have to goto the funeral. Ben did not have
to sleep with his own sister.
Erika (28:47):
That's so wrong! It's so
Edgar (28:49):
many Ben did not have to justify this. No, Technically my
ass.
Erika (28:55):
I think that dad is the villain. Yeah. The true, true
villain.
Edgar (29:00):
But
Erika (29:01):
then also Ben. It's the second
Edgar (29:05):
villain. I feel like the dad was the villain like thirty
years ago, but now it looks likehe reformed. He looked like he
was gonna go off free, go toheaven, all that stuff, and then
now everything's coming tolight. He did nothing about it
because he's six feet on theground.
Erika (29:18):
Oh my god, Ben. So, bro, I don't even know.
Edgar (29:23):
I'd shudder.
Erika (29:24):
I'm like.
Edgar (29:26):
I can only imagine how disgusted a OP sister felt.
Erika (29:32):
Yeah, poor Emily. I oh my god. I don't even know what I
would do. Think in the nextrelationship I'd be like let's
do a DNA test.
Edgar (29:42):
Yeah. No kidding for Emily. Oh my god. That's maybe
the requirement for her. I'd belike Do you know this guy in the
same picture of his dad?
Erika (29:55):
No, but for real, this is like trauma.
Edgar (29:58):
Yeah.
Erika (29:58):
This is trauma. I would be Oh my god, I don't even know
how to overcome this. Oh mygosh.
Edgar (30:04):
This is definitely going to the therapy sessions for
Emily.
Erika (30:07):
For real, she needs to go to therapy, for real.
Edgar (30:09):
Therapy.
Erika (30:10):
Okay, so the top comment is not the hassle. Know, there's
never a really good time to findout that you've been sleeping
with your brother. I can saythis however, there are times
that are a lot worse. Like afteryou've had a kid, like when your
child comes home from school andasks, How come I only have three
(30:30):
grandparents on my birthcertificate? Or, Why does
everybody ask me how Uncle Dadis doing?
Edgar (30:37):
Crazy.
Erika (30:38):
Exactly. And oh my gosh, and then OP responded, I didn't
even think about that. Mike, gobarf now. Yeah, I think it's
just one of those things whereyou really, I think she did
good. She did her a solid right
Edgar (30:52):
OP is like, yeah, the final verdict on this.
Erika (30:54):
Definitely not that asshole.
Edgar (30:57):
OP was high key the hero in the story. Yes. Emily is like
their unfortunate bystander togo, like collateral damage, but
I mean, she got off pretty lightfor what could have happened.
Erika (31:08):
Yeah, and I also think the mom is the asshole too. She
knew about this this whole time.
Edgar (31:13):
Exactly, yeah.
Erika (31:14):
And she refused to say anything because she was in
denial. She needs Yeah,
Edgar (31:18):
she could have at least said, not been mad about the
situation.
Erika (31:22):
Yeah. I'm shook with this story.
Edgar (31:25):
Yeah.
Erika (31:26):
The last story is I asked a lady at Starbucks out by
accident. About a year ago, I,39 mil, went to The US for the
first time. Chicago to beprecise. I'm not a big coffee
drinker, but I wanted to try anAmerican Starbucks. I go to this
place near my hotel and there'sa Cubarista, probably late 20s,
at the counter.
She had this super cute smileand was very friendly. So she
(31:50):
hears my accent and we startmaking small talk. In The UK, I
usually ask what time peoplefinish work, especially if they
say it's been a long day. So Iasked her what time she got off
work. She looked at me funny,like I was asking more than I
was asking.
And so did her colleagues who Ididn't realize were paying
attention. She tells me hershift finishes at 3PM and I'm
(32:12):
like, oh, that's not so bad.Then I say, see you later, which
in UK is bye for now. She'ssmiling at me as I leave and she
says, See you later. My cousinin North Carolina calls to ask
how my day is.
I tell him about Starbucks. Heimmediately starts laughing and
he tells me not to ask womenwhat time to get off work in
(32:35):
America. Apparently I may haveaccidentally asked her out. I
avoided the coffee shop for therest of my trip. I felt so
embarrassed.
Edgar (32:44):
RIP. I mean, yeah, I feel like it's more definitely like a
culture thing. Yeah. But OPcould have had a date while she
was visiting. I don't thinkthat's like the worst thing
ever.
Erika (32:56):
Yeah, I mean, the poor woman got stood up.
Edgar (32:59):
Exactly. She probably like walked out of her shift and
was like, okay, where's thisman? Sit there for half an hour
like an idiot and had her selfesteem destroyed.
Erika (33:09):
I mean, yeah, I mean, oh damn. At least he could've just
said, Oh, you know, maybe just acoffee there or something. I
feel bad. I'm I'm
Edgar (33:19):
He's obviously too, what's it called again? Shy.
Especially awkward.
Erika (33:22):
He might have been shy. I think he just felt embarrassed,
like he said. He didn't realizehe asked her out in front of all
her colleagues. So, no wonderthey were giving him their love.
Edgar (33:31):
Exactly. Because it just made him look like he was a
ballsy guy.
Erika (33:35):
I mean, yeah. But I think he was just trying to have
conversation with the poor guy.So the cop comment is, so you
stood up the poor woman, andthen Opie responded, not on
purpose. I thought they were
Edgar (33:48):
He's like the kindest asshole ever.
Erika (33:51):
Well, didn't mean to.
Edgar (33:53):
Not on purpose.
Erika (33:55):
Not on purpose. I thought we were just making chitchat.
And then there was somebody elsewho says, Go back and tell her
that. Have a laugh and say,Okay, let's try this again. What
time do you get off work thistime?
I know what I'm asking. This isso smooth. Sadly, I'm a year too
late. I think if I did this now,she'd probably freak out.
Edgar (34:18):
Probably, yeah. But. It still haunts his nightmares.
Erika (34:22):
The poor girl, I mean, I guess. I think I'm no reason to
asshole here.
Edgar (34:29):
Except for OP.
Erika (34:30):
I don't think, I mean it's not that he mean to, but
she doesn't know that. So, sheprobably felt like she got stood
up. Poor girl.
Edgar (34:37):
Yeah, mean, that probably wouldn't be the first time for
her.
Erika (34:41):
Stop. That's not nice. I think, you know, I feel bad for
the girl, it's kind of a funnystory.
Edgar (34:47):
Yeah, it's a little bit, yeah, pretty funny actually. So
yeah, you find a verdict onthis?
Erika (34:52):
I wouldn't say he's the asshole, not on purpose at
least. He didn't do itmaliciously.
Edgar (34:57):
Hope he's the asshole, but not maliciously.
Erika (34:59):
Exactly. So that's all the stories we have today. Thank
you for tuning in to this week'sepisode. Check out our website,
www.yappings.com and join ourmailing list for updates. If you
love our podcast and want tosupport us, subscribe and share
it to your friends and family,we would appreciate it so much.
Edgar (35:17):
Also, have a Facebook group called AITA Relationship
and Family Drama linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share Am I the Ah So posts youlike or share your own stories
for us all to judge. We may evenread a few posts in one of our
episodes if you're
Erika (35:31):
lucky. Thank you. Bye.
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with yap worthy stories we findaround the web. So today's theme
is Toxic Oversights.
Edgar (00:14):
The first story is titled, Would I be the asshole
if I contact my friend's exfiance to warn him about her
creepy behavior? Recently myfriend and her fiance broke it
off. I'm honestly not reallysure what happened, but she
claimed that he ghosted her andthen threatened a restraining
order afterwards. I feel I don'thave all the details and
(00:37):
something tells me there is moreto the story. Anyways, they were
living together and shared mostof all their accounts, including
cameras inside the home.
She claims she still has accessto them and has told me how she
looked at them on more than oneoccasion so she knows what he's
doing, etc. She even mentionedhow she knows where he is at
times because she still getsemails I guess with statements
(01:00):
of things so she knows when he'sout of town and where he is. I
asked her why she doesn't justremove herself from these
accounts and even told her howit was a stalkerish in a joking
manner because it is and Ididn't want to upset her, but
she just says that it's aprocess to get the stuff
switched over, etc. It soundedlike total bullshit and I think
(01:21):
it's really inappropriate. Iunderstand being curious, but I
feel like watching the feed fromcameras inside his home is a
major privacy violation.
I don't know if he would respondif I tried reaching out and I
don't really want to throw herunder the bus, but I'm thinking
about just reaching out andtelling him he should remove her
from all connected accounts withno explanation. Would it be
(01:43):
appropriate in this situation orwould I be the asshole?
Erika (01:48):
This is a hard one.
Edgar (01:49):
Mean Hard? What about this is hard?
Erika (01:52):
Because it's not your relationship or it's not your
business. I mean, obviouslydoing the right thing means
telling the guy, but your friendtold you this in confidence, so
you're just gonna throw herunder the bus.
Edgar (02:10):
I mean, you don't have to throw her under the bus
necessarily.
Erika (02:14):
Like, how should?
Edgar (02:14):
You do this more tactfully. Like, imagine Opie
could do is he shouldn't justvisit his friend's house and
then once he sees the camerashe'd be like, just mention it.
Like, oh, that the cameras youhad with your ex?
Erika (02:29):
But why would she even go to her house? It's her ex.
Edgar (02:32):
No, no, remember OP.
Erika (02:33):
It's OP's ex friend, no, it's OP's friend's ex. Why would
she go to his house?
Edgar (02:41):
Excuse would because it's OP's friend.
Erika (02:43):
But what if they're not close enough for her to go to
the house? That would be soawkward. Be like, Hey, can I
just stop by? Why?
Edgar (02:52):
I guess so. But I think still, I mean, that's like the,
if in an ideal situation she'daccidentally stumble upon his
house tell them. But I thinkthat she should because it's a
pretty cupri anyways and if Ihad cameras around my house and
an ex or someone I didn't knowor wasn't close to it, I would
(03:14):
like to know if they werewatching me because that would
be very
Erika (03:19):
creepy for That's so weird. So we have a camera for
the dogs to see them when weleave. So it would be weird if
we break up and then, well youdon't even have the code now but
if I gave you the code and thenyou would still have it and you
would be watching me in thedark, that'd be so weird.
Edgar (03:34):
I know, yeah, it'd be pretty strange.
Erika (03:36):
Yeah, I mean, going off of what you said, I didn't say I
don't believe she should nottell her, I just said, you know,
it's kinda like a dilemma.However, if she does wanna tell
him, she could always do itanonymously.
Edgar (03:50):
How?
Erika (03:51):
She could create a fake account and tell them, you know,
I know OP, and she told me thatshe, you know, does this, this
and that, and then delete thataccount. And now if he doesn't
believe her, then what is whatit is, but you tried reaching
out.
Edgar (04:05):
I mean it's like a good point anyway, that if you have
shit accounts, if you guysaren't together, you should try
to find a way to like, well Iguess you shouldn't even be
considering doing it carefully,like kick them out of the
account if you own it.
Erika (04:19):
Yeah, mean, definitely. I think I would reset all my
passwords if we were to break upor something. You know I mean?
It's kind of weird.
Edgar (04:25):
I think, yeah. And then OP's friend has like some
issues, like still looking atall that stuff.
Erika (04:31):
Yeah, she sounds like she's a little bit
Edgar (04:34):
Is definitely stuck where she's
Erika (04:35):
Yeah, it's not
Edgar (04:36):
It's probably unhealthy for her as well, like she's not
able to move on if she justspends most of her days or
whatever. She spends her freetime just watching.
Erika (04:44):
Checking up on him, yeah.
Edgar (04:46):
That's weird. Washing and checking up on him.
Erika (04:48):
So the top comment is yes, and then dump your friend.
She sounds like trouble.
Edgar (04:53):
Yeah, she sounds pretty creepy. Like I can imagine if
this is the kind of thing she'scaught doing, imagine things
she's not caught doing.
Erika (05:00):
I know, but then again, if she's kind of a, you know,
maybe a little bit moresaturation and you did something
to her, like she finds out thatyou told the boyfriend or the ex
boyfriend,
Edgar (05:11):
More reason why to not be their friend.
Erika (05:14):
Yeah, but now she knows where you live, what you do and
whatever, what if she wants tolike get back at you?
Edgar (05:20):
I'll at least even try.
Erika (05:23):
Oh my goodness. But so yeah, you just have to be
careful, would say. Like I said,anonymously, it's the best bet.
There is an update. Update.
I set up a Google number andsent a text, but I haven't heard
anything back yet. I have nevercommunicated with him over the
phone before and I only had hisnumber that my friend gave me a
while back in case of emergency.So I'm waiting for a response
(05:45):
before I share the details ofwhat I know just in case this
number isn't active anymore oris someone else's number. I
figure I'll give it some timefirst then move on to the other
venues of contact. I appreciateall the advice from you guys so
far.
I'll have recommended reachinghim at work, but he doesn't work
close enough for me to drop by.Anyway, I like to remain
(06:06):
anonymous to avoid any backlash.I don't want to release too many
details on the chance she wereto come across the post, but the
ex fiance has a pretty fancy joband is one of the higher ups of
the company, so he also hascameras set up in his office
there that she has beenwatching. Oh my god, that's even
(06:27):
worse. She's been watching himat his job too.
I'm pretty sure this is superillegal for her to be listening
and stuff too depending on whatshe hears. I'll keep you guys
posted though. After that therehasn't been any updates, so
hopefully she got to reach him.
Edgar (06:43):
Definitely like very creepy, you know, like, yeah,
like she's just kind of, likeOP's friend is like just messing
herself up, like getting likejust caught up into her ex that
like isn't even like in his lifeanymore.
Erika (06:57):
Yeah, I think she needs to move on. She's just holding
on and there's no, there's just,it's not going to end well.
Edgar (07:05):
Definitely not. Do you think the OP should reach out to
the friend that just said tostop looking? Because like, it
could be pretty bad for her?
Erika (07:14):
No, I mean I don't know how stable she is. You know what
I mean? If she's doing all thisstuff, like for example, if
we're talking about it and weknow that's not correct, well
maybe we don't know what herstate of mind is right now. And
if she was to tell her to stop,we don't know if there might be
some, you know, like, oh you'remaking it out of, you know, I
(07:36):
don't know, maybe she could justget backlash from her or
something like that. So I'drather just stay out of it
because you could give heradvice but you have no right in
telling her to stop doingsomething that you think is
wrong.
Edgar (07:48):
Yes, if I know better.
Erika (07:50):
I would say she is not the asshole. Think she's right
in telling him but I would sayjust stay anonymous.
Edgar (07:56):
Yeah, I think overall, not an asshole to warn the guy.
Probably for his safety, keep itanonymous.
Erika (08:03):
Yeah, I agree. The next story is, would I be the asshole
if I said no to a Mother's Daylunch with my boyfriend's mom?
I, 22 female, and my boyfriend,24 male, invited me to his house
tomorrow for a Mother's Daylunch with his parents. I
hesitant on going because I'mallergic to cats and there has
been multiple situations whereit has been promised that the
(08:26):
cats were going to be keptinside and they have not kept
the promise. The first situationwas when I actually found out I
was allergic, was when we haddinner.
The cat is not my boyfriend'sfamily, it's his twin brother
and his girlfriend who's rudeand treats me like shit. We were
at dinner, she gets the cat andproceeds to hold and let the cat
be near me and the table and I'mwheezing and coughing. The
(08:51):
second time was when I was athis house and I was sitting on
the couch and the cat was in thebox and was literally sat next
to me. Those were the big onesbut every time I'm at the house
he tells his brother to keep thecat inside and every single time
the cat has escaped or theyforgot to lock the room. Just
early this morning we went tohis house and his brother said
(09:12):
the cats are inside.
We walked in the house and thecat was in the house. So, would
she be the asshole?
Edgar (09:19):
Well, I'm pretty biased to cats. But I can see why it
would be annoying to be in thatsituation when you're not
expecting that kind of company.
Erika (09:29):
I think it's a little bit deeper than that. Just because
depending on how severe herallergic reaction is, it could
really cause health issues orshe could die or she would need
a pen, you know, EpiPen. I mean,she says she's really allergic
and if they're aware of that andthey continue to have the cats
around her then I don't thinkit's safe for her to go to their
(09:51):
house. Even though the boyfriendis asking her, I don't think
it's fair of him to expect thatknowing that her health is at
risk.
Edgar (10:00):
Yeah, I mean it shouldn't be that hard to just lock the
cats in a room, just like atleast while she's there.
Erika (10:06):
Exactly, I mean when we have the dogs over at my
parents' house, we lock them inthe room and it's that simple.
Edgar (10:15):
But then again, how many people, I guess it depends on
where this is. Like in citiesthere's not a lot of room to
spare in most places.
Erika (10:23):
Yeah, but I mean, don't think, I mean you have a
bedroom, the cat can stay in thebedroom.
Edgar (10:29):
I don't think it's Better than some people don't like
having their pets in their bedfor some reason.
Erika (10:35):
It's only one hour or two when they're there for dinner
and then leave.
Edgar (10:38):
But that's just their mindset. That's why maybe they
think that that's worth havingOP or having I guess suffering
from their pets and theirallergies.
Erika (10:48):
But what's baffling to me is that it's not even his
parents' cat, it's the brother'sgirlfriend's cat.
Edgar (10:55):
I know, she's like someone totally random.
Erika (10:57):
I know, I don't understand why the cat is even
coming. I don't get it.
Edgar (11:03):
I wouldn't bring my, like, even like Bella, Selena,
Lila. Like, I wouldn't bring herdogs, like, into a random
person's house.
Erika (11:09):
No, that's weird.
Edgar (11:13):
Maybe it's like an emotional support cat.
Erika (11:16):
Do we even have that as emotional support cats? I've
always seen dogs but I've neverseen such I just imagine any
Edgar (11:22):
animal could be an emotional support animal.
Erika (11:24):
I guess. So there is an update. We are eating out. He
told his family he doesn't wantme in the house because of the
past situations. So theboyfriend was very thoughtful
and he was by her side and stuckup to her.
So I'm glad he's able to sayokay, I don't want her to go
through this, we're bleeding outand avoid all the problems.
(11:47):
Right?
Edgar (11:47):
Yeah, simple solution actually.
Erika (11:49):
Exactly. So the top comment is not the asshole, your
boyfriend is asking you to goknowing more than likely your
health is compromised, isinconsiderate on his part. But
that's wonderful he sticks upfor you. To be honest, that's
the bare minimum. He should bemaking sure the cats are put
away and locked away, whateverto make sure you don't have a
medical emergency.
If he gets upset or pushes aboutit, tell him you'd love to honor
(12:12):
his mother on location thatwon't put you in the hospital.
You don't need to compromiseyourself for someone who has no
regard for your health. So Ithink the boyfriend did good.
Edgar (12:22):
Pretty straight thinking. It's an easy solution and it
doesn't really make anyone upsetbecause they're eating out.
Probably they're eating outsomeplace, well hopefully
they're eating out someplacewhere they all enjoy their food.
Erika (12:34):
Yeah. So I think it's a good idea. I think a solution
was made by her boyfriend and hedid good.
Edgar (12:42):
Final verdict?
Erika (12:43):
I don't think she's an asshole. I mean I think if she
said no I wouldn't blame her. Imean having a very bad reaction
to the cat is literally lifethreatening. So, if she doesn't
want to go I don't think sheshould be put against.
Edgar (12:57):
Yeah, I don't make the OP's the asshole. The next story
is titled, Accidentally Told MyGirlfriend's Dad I Love You, Now
He Won't Stop Saying It Back.So, last weekend I was leaving
my girlfriend's house afterdinner with her family. Super
casual night tacos, a movie,good vibes all around. Her dad
and I have always had thispolite, slightly awkward
(13:20):
relationship, you know?
Like, we nod at each other andoccasionally comment on the
weather, like we're both NPCs inthe same video game. Anyways, I
was tired, full, feeling warmand fuzzy after she hugged me
goodbye at the door. Her dadwalks me out to my car again,
super chill. He pats me on theshoulder and says, Drive safe.
And that's when it happened.
(13:40):
Without thinking, I say, Youtoo. Love you. Like I was on the
phone with my mom or something.He paused, I paused, the air
shattered, and then the mansmiled, nodded slowly, and said,
'Love you too, buddy.' What? Idrove off into the night with my
soul in shambles.
Fast forward to every visitsince. This fan now ends every
(14:03):
single interaction with,Alright, see you later. Love
you. Sometimes with a wank. Oncewith a thumbs up.
Bro, you cannot make this anymore uncomfortable to read. My
girlfriend thinks this ishilarious. Her mom keeps giving
me weird looks. I don't know ifhe's messing with me or if I am
now unofficially part of thefamily in the weirdest way
possible. So Reddit, do I own itand say love you back forever?
(14:27):
Try to phase it out? Have aformal we need to talk about the
love thing conversation? Anyadvice of similar accidental
intimacy stories would begreatly appreciated.
Erika (14:39):
I mean, this is cute. It's a green flag. I don't think
it's weird.
Edgar (14:44):
I guess it depends on I feel like this is based on the
dad's look. Imagine if he waslike Cotter, she wouldn't be so
weirded out, or maybe if hewasn't so old and awkward about
it. The thumbs up is like, ifsomeone thumbs up after saying
love you like that, and we'renot anything more than platonic,
(15:04):
I'd just be weirded out.
Erika (15:06):
Well it's the dad and you're the boyfriend, what's
wrong about it?
Edgar (15:10):
What do you mean, like if your dad said that to me?
Erika (15:12):
Yeah, mean you're part of the family, what's wrong with
it? Would you feel weirded out?
Edgar (15:18):
I think I would feel weirded out if it feels like
flirty.
Erika (15:21):
But I don't think this is flirty. Think this is just like,
know, love you, like, good luckbuddy. I mean, love you too
buddy. Like, don't think it'sanything flirty. I think this is
like just him just welcome himto the family.
I don't see anything flirtyabout it at all.
Edgar (15:37):
Oh, wait, I thought that Opie was a girl. I just read we
read the title.
Erika (15:40):
Oh my god.
Edgar (15:41):
Okay, guess, yeah, in this case, it's not flirty. I
was thinking that Opie was agirl and the dad was like
flirting with her somehow. Butno, I think this is just like a
weird and awkward welcome linkto the family. But yeah, guess
in that case, yeah, I don'tthink there should be anything
to be weirded out about. But Iguess it's a little bit weird
(16:03):
that the mother seems to bejealous.
Erika (16:06):
I think she just wants a relationship with him too,
saying, Oh, you just tell him Ilove you, but you don't tell me
love you to me. You know, maybe?
Edgar (16:13):
Hopefully that's it.
Erika (16:16):
I think that's adorable. I think they have a, I think you
should just keep going with it.
Edgar (16:20):
Yeah, perhaps, yeah. They can be like, have a bromance.
Erika (16:26):
And then the top comment is, that's all green flags. Her
dad likes you and making a jokeof it, own it. Express all the
love. Exactly.
Edgar (16:34):
Oh, well.
Erika (16:35):
He was so dramatic. The air shattered was insane.
Edgar (16:38):
I know. Maybe he played it up a little, but
Erika (16:40):
I think this is a cute story. I think he should
definitely just go with it.
Edgar (16:45):
Yeah, I do think it's a little heartwarming. I like to
imagine the dad's this bigsix'eight brawly guy saying,
Love you too.
Erika (16:56):
I know, right? And it's just picturing too, just a
really muscular guy, tall, bald,I don't know. We have
Edgar (17:03):
the same vision with this guy.
Erika (17:04):
I know.
Edgar (17:06):
Yeah, so final advice for OP?
Erika (17:08):
Yeah, just go with it, OP. He likes you, you should be
happy about that.
Edgar (17:13):
Yeah, maybe if you're lucky you walk down the aisle
with him.
Erika (17:16):
You're so funny. But you could have a second father, it's
really nice.
Edgar (17:20):
Or a second daddy.
Erika (17:22):
You're so funny. Anyways, the second story, I mean, next
story is, am I the asshole fornot letting my husband relight
my daughter's birthday candlesfor my three year old to blow
out? I, 32 female, have seen andread plenty of stories where
spoiled kids have blown outother kids' candles or thrown a
(17:42):
fit when they're not allowed to.My husband, thirty five male,
apparently has not. Friday wasmy daughter's tenth birthday.
The day off, I will make themthe food of their choice and a
small cake. The party is usuallya later date. After we ate, we
got her cake ready and my threeyear old was very excited. I had
explained to him all throughoutthe day that it was his sister's
(18:04):
birthday, not his. So he had towait for the cake.
We lit the candles, sang happybirthday, and she blew out the
candles. This might be where Imight have been an asshole. My
husband grabbed the lighter andtried to relight them so the
baby could blow them out too. Isaid no. It's daughter's
birthday and I refuse to allowmy son to be one of those bull
(18:27):
kids that can't understand it'snot their day.
His face fell immediately. Hesaid he was just trying to help
and keep the baby happy. Wedropped it there. He was kinda
quiet the rest of the night. Ididn't mean to come off harsh.
I just didn't want my daughterto feel like she had to share
her day or that it wasn't allabout her. Would she be the
(18:48):
asshole?
Edgar (18:48):
It's like a little bit conflicting for me, like how I
feel about this.
Erika (18:52):
I know, me too.
Edgar (18:54):
Because I understand, yeah, it's like cute to have
like both kids, like both littlekids, like blow the candles, but
also they do make a point thatnot every single day, like every
single special day has to becelebrated by everybody.
Erika (19:08):
I just think about the repercussions. Like for example,
let's say it's the sister,right? Know, fine, they're
related, they're family. Butlet's say it's a family friend
and then what are gonna do? Oh,can you light up the candle
because my three year old wantsto blow it too.
Like, you can't expect that,like that's not okay. You need
(19:31):
to teach your three year oldthat your sister's special day,
you should not have your blowout the candle either. You know
what mean? It's just one ofthose things where you have to
respect and show boundaries.
Edgar (19:44):
Exactly, otherwise they're just gonna expect that
all the time. Then they're justgonna throw a fit if you don't
do it.
Erika (19:51):
Yeah, I think it's just hard. Think being a parent is
hard. I'm not a parent, so Idon't the extent, to what
extent. But I would just say, Ithink she wasn't harsh. I think
it was a good lesson for him tolearn.
Edgar (20:07):
So the top comment was deleted, we're gonna be reading
the second top comment.
Erika (20:12):
Which is, Kids need to learn that not everything
revolves around them. Teachingyour son to respect his sister's
special moment is goodparenting, not cruelty. Exactly.
It's not fair that the littlegirl has to share her special
time or her special moment whenit's not necessary or it's a
must. Have you seen thosevideos?
Edgar (20:34):
What?
Erika (20:35):
Where there's like a 10 year old, nine year or older
sisters blowing out theircandles and you see a little kid
trying to blow their candles.Have you seen them?
Edgar (20:44):
No, but I can imagine how that would happen. Like I feel
like a lot people think it'scute, but I feel like long term
it teaches like the kid blowingthe other kid's birthday
candles. Like it teaches themlike a bad lesson.
Erika (20:56):
Yeah.
Edgar (20:57):
And there's some kind of lessons like especially early on
that get imprinted on them andthat's just how they see the
world.
Erika (21:03):
Yeah, I've seen a lot of them actually. There's been so
many where the little girls orthe boy or whatever had to stop
them from blowing, because theparents aren't doing anything.
Yeah. And you see the littlegirl stopping them and they
start throwing a fit, likegrabbing her, pulling them,
trying to bite them, pulling ontheir hair because they wanna.
Edgar (21:23):
The next generation is cooked.
Erika (21:25):
It's just insane. I'm like, it's literally the
parents' fault here. They're notshowing the baby that it's not
okay.
Edgar (21:32):
Yeah, it's like, it's nourishing the entitlement in
them.
Erika (21:37):
Yeah, no boundaries. It's just lack of boundaries right
there. And this is so importantto teach your child because not
everybody's gonna allow you orallow them to cross the boundary
and let them do what they wannado.
Edgar (21:50):
Yeah. May God have mercy on them if they try to blow my
candles off.
Erika (21:53):
You're so funny.
Edgar (21:54):
They'll be like, be a combo.
Erika (21:56):
You're crazy. But I just think it's just one of those
things where I don't think shewas an asshole at all. At least
that's my final verdict.
Edgar (22:06):
That's your final verdict?
Erika (22:07):
Mhmm. I think she did good.
Edgar (22:09):
Yeah, I think harsh lessons are better than no
lessons for something that needsa lesson for kids.
Erika (22:16):
Yeah, or maybe somebody else teaches him a lesson later
on and you kinda don't wantthat. You'd rather you teach
them, you know, obviously, Iwouldn't say in a nice way, but
more of a, you know, early on.
Edgar (22:29):
The next story is titled Am I the Asshole for Exposing My
Late Dad's Secret Second Familyat His Funeral Because My Sister
Was About to Marry Our HalfBrother. Yeah, this is going to
sound fake, but I swear it'sreal and I honestly don't know
what else I could have done. I,28 female, lost my dad three
weeks ago. He was a respectedguy in a small town, former
(22:52):
police chief, very communityinvolved, basically treated like
a saint. Growing up it was justme, my little sister Emily,
twenty five female, and ourparents.
We weren't rich or anything, butwe were close, or sorry I
thought. Anyways, Emily gotengaged recently to this guy,
Ben, twenty nine male. They metlast year at a local theatre and
(23:15):
just instantly clicked. He movedhere for work and didn't really
have any family. They wereplanning on a small elopement
right after the funeral, just toget it over with.
So, she was very happy, likeglowing. While helping my mom go
through dad's old stuff for thefuneral slideshow, she gave me a
flash drive of a bunch of oldphotos. Most of them were
(23:38):
normal, but then I found a bunchthat I didn't recognize.
Different women, different kids.One of the kids was Ben.
I mean, literally him. Sameexact eyes, same weird scar on
his lip, everything. At first Ithought maybe I was losing it
from the grief or whatever, butthen I found a letter from that
same woman, Ben's mom, talkingabout protecting Ben from the
(24:01):
truth and how she understands mydad had to stay with his
daughters. I confronted my momand she just broke down crying.
She told me the truth.
My dad had a secret secondfamily in a town like forty
minutes away for ten years. Hehad a whole ass other son. They
ended it when Emily was a baby.Mom made him promise to never
(24:24):
tell us and they pretended itnever happened. So, I grew up
thinking my dad was this great,solid guy and he was just living
a devil life.
I begged my mom to say somethingto Emily, but she refused. Said
I would destroy her. But Emilywas literally going to marry
this man. So yeah, I told herthe day of the funeral. Probably
(24:45):
terrible timing, but what am Isupposed to do?
Wait until after the honeymoon?Oh my gosh, you're She didn't
believe me at first, so I showedher the photos, the letters. She
started shaking and lockedherself in the bathroom. Yeah. I
would lock myself in thebathroom too.
Erika (25:02):
I wouldn't I don't even know what I would
Edgar (25:04):
do. Okay. Ben knew. Ben knew. He admitted it when she
confronted him.
He said it wasn't a big dealbecause they didn't grow up
together, and technically itwasn't illegal. Like, what? Dude
watched Game of Thrones once andgot some ideas, I guess? Yeah.
Erika (25:21):
This was
Edgar (25:22):
crazy. Emily called it off. She's staying with her
friend. Ben moved out. My momisn't speaking to me.
She says, I shamed the familyduring a sacred time and
destroyed dad's legacy. A few ofmy cousins are siding with her.
As I said, I did the rightthing. Okay, so the ones that
sided with her mom, like,they're sus. You're sick.
All of them are sus. I feel sickand just really empty. Maybe it
(25:45):
wasn't my place to drop thatkind of bomb at a funeral, but I
couldn't let her marry her halfbrother and live a lie, right?
Erika (25:52):
100%. You did Emily a solid.
Edgar (25:56):
Exactly, yeah. It could have been even more scarring. I
mean, it's probably prettyscarring already, considering
you were going to elope and allthat stuff. Oh my god. And the
fact that Ben knew about it.
Erika (26:05):
That's so wrong in
Edgar (26:06):
so many That's like a weird form of narcissism.
Erika (26:12):
Oh my god, just because they're not legal. What do you
mean?
Edgar (26:17):
Is this in Alabama? What
Erika (26:21):
in Alabama? Oh my gosh, I'm Okay, so this is literally a
live reaction of this becauseall I saw was the title and I
was like this must be good. I'mlike in shock. And then Ben
knew? Oh my god.
Exactly,
Edgar (26:36):
yeah. I just don't know why the cousins would side with
the mom and this. I feel likeit's pretty cut and dry. Yeah,
of course stop this fromhappening. Stop the madness.
Erika (26:49):
I mean, I get that it was his funeral, but come on, they
were literally gonna elope. Theyhad no choice.
Edgar (26:55):
Exactly. I mean, yeah, mom knew all this at the same
time, too.
Erika (26:59):
And it's her fault for not saying anything. She
could've avoided this when theywere dating, but because she
wanted to keep the legacy of himbeing a good dad and not being a
liar and having a side familyfor ten years.
Edgar (27:12):
Twenty, thirty years.
Erika (27:13):
Oh, okay. Was this for ten years, he had a host? Okay.
I mean for a long time.
Edgar (27:17):
Yeah, I mean maybe he was actively a part of Ben's life
for ten years, but that's evenweirder. Like I just don't
understand. I feel like the momcould have just, as soon as saw
Ben, just kick him out of townIf he really wanted to preserve
the family legacy. Because whywould Ben be there? Like, it's
just very weird and all that
Erika (27:35):
Yeah, I think she was just in denial. I she just I
think she's just in full ondenial and she didn't want to
accept that he had anotherfamily, and so she kept lying to
herself for years. She lied toherself so much that she
literally made her believe thatthat was the truth, that he
(27:57):
didn't have another family.
Edgar (27:58):
Yeah, she gaslighted herself, too. Yeah,
Erika (28:02):
and the fact that he was made up to be a great, respected
guy in a small town, thereputation would have been
literally on the floor if thepolice chief had another wife
Edgar (28:15):
four weeks I mean, he still could been seen as the
great guy he was, how he acted.But I mean, having us all blow
up in the most important timenot important time, but the time
where everyone's payingattention to this dead guy,
that's definitely gonna stainson relationships.
Erika (28:30):
I guess karma does come back, but mean, damn.
Edgar (28:34):
That's crazy. I mean, everyone should be mad at Ben at
this. This is so messed up. Hewas like the true villain in
this. If there was an asshole inthis story, it was Ben.
Because Ben did not have to goto the funeral. Ben did not have
to sleep with his own sister.
Erika (28:47):
That's so wrong! It's so
Edgar (28:49):
many Ben did not have to justify this. No, Technically my
ass.
Erika (28:55):
I think that dad is the villain. Yeah. The true, true
villain.
Edgar (29:00):
But
Erika (29:01):
then also Ben. It's the second
Edgar (29:05):
villain. I feel like the dad was the villain like thirty
years ago, but now it looks likehe reformed. He looked like he
was gonna go off free, go toheaven, all that stuff, and then
now everything's coming tolight. He did nothing about it
because he's six feet on theground.
Erika (29:18):
Oh my god, Ben. So, bro, I don't even know.
Edgar (29:23):
I'd shudder.
Erika (29:24):
I'm like.
Edgar (29:26):
I can only imagine how disgusted a OP sister felt.
Erika (29:32):
Yeah, poor Emily. I oh my god. I don't even know what I
would do. Think in the nextrelationship I'd be like let's
do a DNA test.
Edgar (29:42):
Yeah. No kidding for Emily. Oh my god. That's maybe
the requirement for her. I'd belike Do you know this guy in the
same picture of his dad?
Erika (29:55):
No, but for real, this is like trauma.
Edgar (29:58):
Yeah.
Erika (29:58):
This is trauma. I would be Oh my god, I don't even know
how to overcome this. Oh mygosh.
Edgar (30:04):
This is definitely going to the therapy sessions for
Emily.
Erika (30:07):
For real, she needs to go to therapy, for real.
Edgar (30:09):
Therapy.
Erika (30:10):
Okay, so the top comment is not the hassle. Know, there's
never a really good time to findout that you've been sleeping
with your brother. I can saythis however, there are times
that are a lot worse. Like afteryou've had a kid, like when your
child comes home from school andasks, How come I only have three
(30:30):
grandparents on my birthcertificate? Or, Why does
everybody ask me how Uncle Dadis doing?
Edgar (30:37):
Crazy.
Erika (30:38):
Exactly. And oh my gosh, and then OP responded, I didn't
even think about that. Mike, gobarf now. Yeah, I think it's
just one of those things whereyou really, I think she did
good. She did her a solid right
Edgar (30:52):
OP is like, yeah, the final verdict on this.
Erika (30:54):
Definitely not that asshole.
Edgar (30:57):
OP was high key the hero in the story. Yes. Emily is like
their unfortunate bystander togo, like collateral damage, but
I mean, she got off pretty lightfor what could have happened.
Erika (31:08):
Yeah, and I also think the mom is the asshole too. She
knew about this this whole time.
Edgar (31:13):
Exactly, yeah.
Erika (31:14):
And she refused to say anything because she was in
denial. She needs Yeah,
Edgar (31:18):
she could have at least said, not been mad about the
situation.
Erika (31:22):
Yeah. I'm shook with this story.
Edgar (31:25):
Yeah.
Erika (31:26):
The last story is I asked a lady at Starbucks out by
accident. About a year ago, I,39 mil, went to The US for the
first time. Chicago to beprecise. I'm not a big coffee
drinker, but I wanted to try anAmerican Starbucks. I go to this
place near my hotel and there'sa Cubarista, probably late 20s,
at the counter.
She had this super cute smileand was very friendly. So she
(31:50):
hears my accent and we startmaking small talk. In The UK, I
usually ask what time peoplefinish work, especially if they
say it's been a long day. So Iasked her what time she got off
work. She looked at me funny,like I was asking more than I
was asking.
And so did her colleagues who Ididn't realize were paying
attention. She tells me hershift finishes at 3PM and I'm
(32:12):
like, oh, that's not so bad.Then I say, see you later, which
in UK is bye for now. She'ssmiling at me as I leave and she
says, See you later. My cousinin North Carolina calls to ask
how my day is.
I tell him about Starbucks. Heimmediately starts laughing and
he tells me not to ask womenwhat time to get off work in
(32:35):
America. Apparently I may haveaccidentally asked her out. I
avoided the coffee shop for therest of my trip. I felt so
embarrassed.
Edgar (32:44):
RIP. I mean, yeah, I feel like it's more definitely like a
culture thing. Yeah. But OPcould have had a date while she
was visiting. I don't thinkthat's like the worst thing
ever.
Erika (32:56):
Yeah, I mean, the poor woman got stood up.
Edgar (32:59):
Exactly. She probably like walked out of her shift and
was like, okay, where's thisman? Sit there for half an hour
like an idiot and had her selfesteem destroyed.
Erika (33:09):
I mean, yeah, I mean, oh damn. At least he could've just
said, Oh, you know, maybe just acoffee there or something. I
feel bad. I'm I'm
Edgar (33:19):
He's obviously too, what's it called again? Shy.
Especially awkward.
Erika (33:22):
He might have been shy. I think he just felt embarrassed,
like he said. He didn't realizehe asked her out in front of all
her colleagues. So, no wonderthey were giving him their love.
Edgar (33:31):
Exactly. Because it just made him look like he was a
ballsy guy.
Erika (33:35):
I mean, yeah. But I think he was just trying to have
conversation with the poor guy.So the cop comment is, so you
stood up the poor woman, andthen Opie responded, not on
purpose. I thought they were
Edgar (33:48):
He's like the kindest asshole ever.
Erika (33:51):
Well, didn't mean to.
Edgar (33:53):
Not on purpose.
Erika (33:55):
Not on purpose. I thought we were just making chitchat.
And then there was somebody elsewho says, Go back and tell her
that. Have a laugh and say,Okay, let's try this again. What
time do you get off work thistime?
I know what I'm asking. This isso smooth. Sadly, I'm a year too
late. I think if I did this now,she'd probably freak out.
Edgar (34:18):
Probably, yeah. But. It still haunts his nightmares.
Erika (34:22):
The poor girl, I mean, I guess. I think I'm no reason to
asshole here.
Edgar (34:29):
Except for OP.
Erika (34:30):
I don't think, I mean it's not that he mean to, but
she doesn't know that. So, sheprobably felt like she got stood
up. Poor girl.
Edgar (34:37):
Yeah, mean, that probably wouldn't be the first time for
her.
Erika (34:41):
Stop. That's not nice. I think, you know, I feel bad for
the girl, it's kind of a funnystory.
Edgar (34:47):
Yeah, it's a little bit, yeah, pretty funny actually. So
yeah, you find a verdict onthis?
Erika (34:52):
I wouldn't say he's the asshole, not on purpose at
least. He didn't do itmaliciously.
Edgar (34:57):
Hope he's the asshole, but not maliciously.
Erika (34:59):
Exactly. So that's all the stories we have today. Thank
you for tuning in to this week'sepisode. Check out our website,
www.yappings.com and join ourmailing list for updates. If you
love our podcast and want tosupport us, subscribe and share
it to your friends and family,we would appreciate it so much.
Edgar (35:17):
Also, have a Facebook group called AITA Relationship
and Family Drama linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share Am I the Ah So posts youlike or share your own stories
for us all to judge. We may evenread a few posts in one of our
episodes if you're
Erika (35:31):
lucky. Thank you. Bye.
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