This week on Yapping Schnauzers, it’s all about Unwanted Attention. From coworkers who won’t take a hint, to gym stalkers who can’t let go, to family members who think your life is their business, we’re yapping through some of Reddit’s most unhinged AITA threads about blurry boundaries, creepy persistence, and the age-old art of saying “no thanks” (and being ignored anyway).
So pour your drink, pet a schnauzer, and join us as we ask: are they the ahole… or is this just another case of peak modern chaos? 🐶✨
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- Am I Overreacting for Refusing to Let My Wife’s “Work Husband” Come on Our Family Vacation?
- AITAH for telling a woman at the gym that she's embarrassing herself?
- Update: AITAH for telling a woman at the gym that she's embarrassing herself?
- AITA for re reminding my brother’s girlfriend that I own half of the house we live in so she can’t easily get rid of me?
- AITA for lying about where I was going to college so my stepsister wouldn't follow me?
- AITA as a waitress for accepting a massive tip from a creepy older man?
- AITAH for requiring my bf to get a doctors note after his vasectomy?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:04):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with yap-worthy stories we findaround the web. Today's theme is
Unwanted Attention.
Edgar (00:14):
Our first story is titled, Am I Overreacting for
Refusing to Let My Wife's WorkHusband Come on Our Family
Vacation? My wife, thirty fourfemale, and I, 36 male, have
been married for eight years,two kids together. She recently
started a new job where she hasgotten really close to one of
(00:35):
the coworkers. She calls him herwork husband and says it's all
jokes and office banter. Nothingserious.
At first, I brushed it off, butover time she started texting
him outside work hours, laughingat his jokes constantly, and
even FaceTiming him once when wewere on a weekend trip with our
(00:55):
kids. I finally told her it wasgetting weird and she told me to
stop being insecure. Last weekshe asked if he could come with
us on our summer vacation to thelake house. She said he has no
family around and could use abreak. I said absolutely not,
this is our family time and Idon't want some random guy
(01:16):
tagging along, especiallysomeone she flirts with all day.
She got mad and said I was beingcontrolling. Her exact words
were, I'm not even allowed tohave friends now. I told her
it's not about friends, it'sabout boundaries. She's still
mad and says I embarrassed herby making a big deal out of
nothing. So, am I overreacting?
Erika (01:39):
No, he's not.
Edgar (01:40):
Yeah, it's like a work husband, crossing so many
boundaries. Yeah, we're justlaughing right now because our
smallest dog Selena just jumpedon the table.
Erika (01:52):
She just wants attention. Yeah, I think there has to be
boundaries. I'm sorry no matterhow good of friends you are, but
if you have a family, you needto, you know, have some
boundaries when you havefriendships.
Edgar (02:09):
Exactly, and especially with the work husband title.
Basically, she's his work wifeand it's just a weird dynamic to
have and to bring that into afamily trip, it's gonna confuse
the children. And I'm sure thework husband may try to do
something.
Erika (02:26):
I mean, listen, I don't frown upon the work husband,
wife work, I mean, work wife.
Edgar (02:35):
Work wife, yeah.
Erika (02:36):
I don't, but as long as there is some type of
boundaries.
Edgar (02:40):
Like
Erika (02:42):
if there's not then there's an issue.
Edgar (02:44):
I feel like I have an issue with it if one or both of
them have partners outside oftheir work. Because no one wants
to know that they have a Imaginehave Well, imagine me. I go to
work and I come back and belike, Hey, I have a work wife.
That's just not okay. Feel likeabsolutely I'm just
Erika (03:04):
kidding. Like I said, it depends too. It depends on the
boundaries. It depends on howyou guys treat each other. He
kinda crossed the line, theyboth crossed the line when he's
FaceTiming her like in avacation or when they're texting
all the time.
You know there's a differencebetween keeping work at work and
(03:27):
then bringing it at home.
Edgar (03:28):
Yeah. I didn't like that OP's wife when confronted about
the work husband and theircloseness and she said don't be
so insecure. That's such adefensive thing to say and when
you don't have to be defensive.If she wanted to go about this
in a more healthy way and buildtrust with the work husband and
(03:50):
her own husband, she should havethem meet, you know? Maybe she's
friends over time.
Erika (03:57):
Yeah, the fact that she's literally reflecting it, like
she's saying no, it's becauseyou're insecure. It's because
you are making a big deal out ofnothing. Yeah. It's just her
literally proving a point. It'sthe fact that if she would have
said, Okay, I respect yourdecision, that's alright.
(04:20):
That's what a partner should do.You can't make somebody feel
comfortable with somebody else,a complete stranger, especially
with your family.
Edgar (04:28):
Yeah.
Erika (04:29):
Like, I know this is just me being paranoid but you don't
know his intentions. Don't knoweven with your, maybe you have
young daughters. Don't, youknow, it's just, it's a line
where you don't want to cross.And she's trying to make this
happen maybe because she wantssomething to happen in the
vacation.
Edgar (04:48):
Mhmm, that's definitely weird.
Erika (04:50):
Yeah. So the top comment is no way in hell is this
innocent. I hate the whole workspouse culture especially
because of things like this. Itbreaks down boundaries and
barriers that should be in placeespecially for people who are
already married. Put your footdown and let her know this has
gone too far to the point it'suncomfortable and that if she
(05:12):
doesn't cut off her boyfriendsoon then you'll be making some
moves.
Edgar (05:16):
Exactly.
Erika (05:19):
I agree. I think there's just many I think there's a lot
of issues now I think. This isthe second, third one that we've
seen about the work wife or thework husband that's really,
really pulling and scraping outthose boundaries between an
actual relationship, especiallywith your wife or husband.
Edgar (05:41):
Yeah, for it to be a whole culture, I just feel like
people spend a lot more time attheir work and they take it more
seriously and it's just the timething. The longer you spend with
someone you're just gonnanaturally grow a bond no matter
how innocent or not innocent.
Erika (05:56):
Yeah, and I mean I don't think there's something wrong
with having friendships orhaving a good relationship with
your coworkers. I think that'sgreat. It helps time fly by, it
helps a good work culture,everything. It helps everything
at work but it doesn't mean thatbecause you have a good
relationship with your coworkersit means that you're going to be
(06:18):
doing things that you shouldn'tbe or pushing Yeah, exactly. So,
what's the final verdict?
Edgar (06:25):
I'd say OP is not overreacting.
Erika (06:29):
Exactly.
Edgar (06:30):
He's okay to have his insecurities with this because
it's something valid.
Erika (06:34):
No, this is definitely 100% valid and if she doesn't
understand that then, I mean,counseling, therapy, I don't
know, but if not then you knowthere's something that you can't
really overlook or if there's adifferent view of this, there's
no way going around it.
Edgar (06:52):
I think OP's wife should just make the work husband her
actual husband at this point.She's gonna defend him so much.
Erika (07:00):
I know, it's kinda weird to have a relationship like that
where you choose your workhusband instead of your actual
husband.
Edgar (07:08):
So
Erika (07:09):
the next story is, Am I the asshole for telling a woman
at the gym that she'sembarrassing herself? I go to
the gym a lot. About six monthsago I noticed a woman I'll call
Andrea. That's not her name butit would be for the rest of this
post. I don't know if Andreastarted going to the gym six
months ago or if that's justwhen I noticed her.
(07:30):
Full disclosure, I spoke to herfirst, but I had no way of
knowing what the results wouldbe. A lot of machines at this
gym have little entertainmentsystems attached to them that
can access local channels. I goton a treadmill and realized that
the TV on the treadmill wasn'tworking. Andrea was walking past
and I said, Hey, do you knowthere's an issue with the cable?
(07:51):
This TV isn't working.
But I don't know if it's justthis one or all of them. She
said the same thing happened toher on a different machine. I
thanked her and that was thewhole interaction. A week later,
she asked me for electrolytepowder for her water. I said I
didn't have any.
She was cool with that and askedme how long I've been coming to
the gym and what I did for work.I answered and returned her
(08:14):
questions. She said she was newto the area and worked in a
private security. We had a fewmore chill conversations after
that. Six weeks ago, she askedme out.
For reasons I won't get intohere, I wasn't interested. I
declined. She said not to worryabout things being awkward at
the gym if we don't go out. Isaid that wasn't the issue, just
(08:35):
not looking to date right now.She kept talking to me and at
first I kept talking to her, butI started to think something
might be wrong.
I started to avoid her. Twoweeks ago, she walked up to me
while I was on a machine withonly one way to properly
dismount that involved steppinginto weights she was standing.
She asked if I was avoiding her.I said I was and apologized. I
(08:58):
said I just don't want to dateright now.
She said I don't have to avoidher to not date her. I said okay
and kept avoiding her though.Tonight while I was working out,
she confirmed me again aboutavoiding her. I had a bad day
and told her to leave me alone.She asked why I was being such a
prick and I said because I wanther to leave me alone.
I then said she was embarrassingherself and needs to stop. But
(09:23):
she put her foot down on myweights and I thought she was
going to press down on them. SoI let go of the bar very quickly
causing the weights to slam andmake a loud noise. Several
people looked over. She said nowwho's embarrassing himself?
And walked away. Did I go toofar by saying that? Do I owe her
an apology?
Edgar (09:42):
I don't think she is owed an apology because it seems
like, from my perspective inthat last action, it looked like
she was gonna try to kill him.Well, I don't know, was just
gonna step on him and stomp onhim. So I would be scared too.
It was such an aggressive actfor no reason.
Erika (09:59):
Yeah, I I don't think she takes rejection quite well.
Edgar (10:03):
Exactly, yeah.
Erika (10:05):
I don't, I mean, come on, if you're literally lifting
weights, it's not okay to putyour foot down. Like that's so
dangerous for the person. Andeven for you, what if the weight
goes on and goes flying and hitsyou in the head? You know, it's
just one of those things whereit's just not okay. And the fact
that she said, Oh, now look, nowwho's embarrassing himself?
Edgar (10:28):
She's On that to make a point, yeah.
Erika (10:30):
To put him in danger, I think she needs help.
Edgar (10:35):
Yeah, and if anything, she's the one that's being
embarrassed at this moment.
Erika (10:39):
Yeah, mean, she's definitely showing aggression
for no reason just because hesaid, No, don't want a date
right now. And okay, sure he'savoiding her but it's probably
because he feels awkward aboutrejecting her.
Edgar (10:52):
Like it's not, I mean it is about her but it could also
be his own personal feelings.
Erika (10:57):
Yeah, mean comfortable, he doesn't feel comfortable.
Maybe people take a little bitof time after rejecting somebody
to see them again, just like anyother person. So the fact that
she keeps saying why are youavoiding me, why are you
avoiding me, it's just leave himalone. He doesn't want to be
bothered.
Edgar (11:15):
That's such a clingy thing to say as well. Like I
feel like if you say that tosomebody, like, oh why are you
avoiding me? It just makes himwant to avoid you.
Erika (11:23):
Exactly. It's just interesting where, know I get
people have different views, butin this case I feel like Andrea
is not in the right right handat this point at all. There is
an update. I went in the gymearly this morning for a run and
told the front desk about Andreaputting her foot on the weights.
(11:45):
They said they would talk toher.
Then after work, I went in againfor a regular workout. I was
working on my legs then shewalked up to
Edgar (11:51):
my
Erika (11:51):
machine. The first thing she said was to apologize about
the weights. I don't know ifsomeone talked to her or if it
was of her own initiative. Iaccepted her apology and
apologized for saying she wasembarrassing herself. She said
she forgave me but I wanted toreally make it up to her I could
buy her a drink.
And she would buy me one too tomake up for the weights. Once
(12:15):
again, this girl don't know howto get rejected.
Edgar (12:20):
I know, it's like, would not trust that drink.
Erika (12:24):
No, it's so weird. Girl, leave the poor man alone. Have
some self respect. Okay, let mecontinue. I said maybe we should
buy our own drinks, meaningseparately at different places
and times.
And she misunderstood me andasked when and where. I told her
I meant that I didn't want to goout with her. She said this
(12:46):
wouldn't be a date but a resetof our friendship. Oh my gosh.
Edgar (12:50):
Is that what we're calling it now?
Erika (12:51):
Apparently. I said I didn't want to be friends. She
said I was being a douche andasked what my problem is. I said
the weight incident made meuncomfortable and I would rather
us just give each other space.She then asked me if my problem
with her is that she's Hispanic.
I was so taken aback. I didn'teven know she was until she said
(13:11):
that. I said no, that she justmakes me uncomfortable. She
wanted me to explain what abouther made me uncomfortable and I
tried to do so but she arguedwith every point I made. I got
frustrated and told her I justwanted you to stay away from me.
She said fine and I have a lotof maturing to do. Then she
walked away, I'm hoping that'sthe end of it.
Edgar (13:33):
Hopefully.
Erika (13:35):
So that's not the end of it. Really? Yes, that's the end
of it. I just Okay, so now she'smaking it personal. She's making
it way too personal, which wasnot at all.
And now she just has some beef.Now she feels like she has beef
with him.
Edgar (13:54):
No reason. Because I feel like she, even though Obi said
no, that it's not because she'sHispanic, she's gonna tell all
her friends, He doesn't like mebecause I'm Hispanic. Like you
can just tell.
Erika (14:04):
No, yeah definitely. I just, it's just, she's making
it, she's doing too much. She isdoing too much. Okay, so the
update is Andrea is banned fromthe gym. I was running on the
treadmill and watching TV.
She came up to me to talk to meand I ignored her, staring at
the TV. She raised her voice andI continued to ignore her. She
(14:26):
reached out and pulled thesafety tab out of the treadmill,
the one you connect to yourwrist so the treadmill stops if
you fall. Causing the treadmillto come to a sudden stop, I
tripped and fell onto thecontrols and the TV, scratching
my chin on top of the screen. Iwent to the front desk with
Andrea following me.
I told him what she did. Shekept trying to interrupt me and
(14:48):
talk over me, but the woman atthe front desk told her to be
quiet and wait her turn. I toldher Andrea pulled out the safety
tab while I was running andinjured me. The woman at the
front desk then asked Andreawhat happened. Andrea said I was
staring into the middledistance, like I was in some
kind of fog state and shethought I was having a medical
episode so she pulled the tab.
(15:10):
That makes no sense. She justhated that she was being
ignored.
Edgar (15:13):
Exactly. I just pulled up the surveillance photos or
surveillance videos.
Erika (15:16):
Exactly. The woman at the front desk asked her for her
membership card. Andrea didn'twant to give it to her. But the
woman at the front desk said ifshe didn't she would ban her.
Andrea gave her the card and thewoman at the front desk said to
leave and she was suspended fora month.
Andrea objected and got into anargument with the woman at the
front desk that escalated intoAndrea calling her the N word
(15:38):
and the B word. So she wasbanned permanently.
Edgar (15:42):
I
Erika (15:43):
hesitate to call the iHappy ending because the poor
gym employee had to put up withthe racial harassment. But I
won't deny getting to watch hercaught up Andrea's membership
card felt good.
Edgar (15:53):
That's crazy. Like she literally tried to kill him?
Erika (15:55):
I know.
Edgar (15:56):
Why does it This
Erika (15:59):
is like, the poor guy just wanted to work out. That's
it. He didn't wanna do anythingwith her. He just was being
friendly and then she just wentoff the rails when he rejected
her.
Edgar (16:11):
I know. I don't know why she even is like keeping
pursuing him. Like he alreadyrejected you and why would you
want to keep going with that?
Erika (16:21):
Exactly. It's just so crazy to me. It didn't have to
get this far. There was no needfor her to treat him this way.
So the top comment is the minuteher foot went onto the weights
it became really important toreport this crap.
(16:43):
I'm sorry you stumbled across agym stalker. So did I a few
years ago and it chased me outof the gym entirely. That's
scary too.
Edgar (16:52):
Feel like luckily I never had a gym stalker in all the
years I've been in the gym.
Erika (16:57):
That's good babe.
Edgar (17:00):
I get to meet her in peace. Have you had a gym soccer
before?
Erika (17:07):
I don't really, I only go to classes mostly. I don't
really go down too much. So Iusually go to the gym, do the
classes and then go to the saunaand then go home. So it's really
hard for me to get a soccer.Does that make sense?
Edgar (17:19):
I guess so, yeah. You're just not there for that long.
Erika (17:22):
No. No, because I don't like to go down the stairs. It's
because my gym is enclosed and Ilike to see outside when I'm in
the gym. What your gym is like,I like your gym because you can
see the outside and it's notenclosed and it's not
downstairs. So, yeah.
(17:42):
And then the other top commentfor the update was, Still not
the asshole. Andrea provedherself to be crazy with a side
of racist. And then OPresponded, and the irony is that
she accused me of being racistfor not wanting to date her.
Edgar (17:58):
I know. It really be your own kind sometimes.
Erika (18:01):
Yeah.
Edgar (18:01):
And also, he basically got the ex girlfriend experience
without dating her. I know.
Erika (18:07):
I know. Well, crazy ex, actually.
Edgar (18:10):
And,
Erika (18:11):
I mean he saved himself, he got to go to instincts
because he didn't save himselffrom a crazy ex. Even worse.
Imagine she's like that now.Imagine dating her.
Edgar (18:24):
I can only imagine horror beyond human comprehension.
Erika (18:28):
You're so crazy. Yeah, I think it's just one of those
things where he should befeeling lucky that he didn't
deal with that woman for toolong.
Edgar (18:41):
Final verdict?
Erika (18:43):
No, he's not the asshole at all.
Edgar (18:45):
Yeah, the asshole for protecting himself.
Erika (18:49):
And then it's
Edgar (18:49):
From a case.
Erika (18:50):
Exactly, and I think I see a lot of cases that women
feel stalked but you never haveguys always be like, you know,
there's this girl bothering me.A lot of people don't take them
seriously.
Edgar (19:03):
I know, yeah. It's kind of rare to see the reverse.
Erika (19:07):
Yeah. The
Edgar (19:10):
next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Reminding My
Brother's Girlfriend That I OwnHalf of the House We Live In So
She Can't Easily Get Rid of Me.I'm 15 female and have been
living with my big brother, 25male, for the last three years.
Our dad died three years ago andour mom abandoned us seven years
(19:31):
ago and is living abroad inJapan with her new family,
Kanishi Wow. Kanishi Wow. I'mvery independent and don't need
a lot of attention and generallymind my own business.
So I'm not a nuisance or a thirdwheel. I just need to be left
alone. That house we live inbelonged to our dad and he left
(19:56):
it equally to the both of us. Mybrother's been seeing his
girlfriend for a couple yearsnow. She's not bad and I
genuinely like her.
However, she wants to move inhere and they're talking about
getting serious. I've talked tomy brother about how this would
work and he thinks it's too soonto discuss it and we'll sort it
out when it's more serious.Okay, so the other day she came
(20:20):
to me and asked about my plansabout uni and if I wanted to
stay around and told her that,yeah, I plan to stay home while
going to uni. She suggested itmight be good for my growth to
go to a different study and getexposed to new experiences and
people. I also suggestedboarding school for next year.
I smelled BS, so I told her,What's this really about? And
(20:42):
she mentioned that they'regetting serious and want to
start a family soon and I won'thave a place here as they're
growing their family. Talkedabout importance of nuclear
family and all that nonsense. Iasked why she tried to get rid
of me. I've done her no harm andshe said it isn't personal and
it's just that their family willdeserve to have their own space
(21:04):
without relatives living withthem.
I remind her that I own half ofthis space, so she's delusional
if she thinks she can just getrid of me like that. She
initially said, My brother hasdone enough for me already and
it's time I do something forhim, but also said, Let's not
continue the discussion for now.Later my brother told me I was
unnecessarily aggressive andsaid she should have come to him
(21:26):
about what she said. I told himI didn't approach her, she was
just trying to manipulate me toget rid of me. He thinks she was
wrong to do that but I wasunnecessarily aggressive and she
didn't mean bad and now I'vedamaged our relationship maybe
permanently.
Later he had a fight with her.He hasn't talked to me since
then, four days now. She alsohasn't been over since. Am I the
(21:50):
asshole for being too aggressiveto her? And I think that's just
like, yeah, she's definitelydelusional with this whole
situation.
The OP's or OP's brother'sgirlfriend.
Erika (22:02):
Yeah, I don't understand why her she's just trying to
manipulate her, that's it.
Edgar (22:08):
Exactly. She's like saying, Oh, you should move to a
new city for your experience,but with what money? She's like
14, 15 years old? How's shegonna afford rent? I don't
think, it sounds like they're inThe UK because they call it uni
and all that stuff.
So I imagine it's gonna be a lotmore dangerous for her to live
in a city by herself with almostno more money.
Erika (22:29):
And then take her to boarding school?
Edgar (22:34):
She's just basically saying just leave the house. Our
family deserves a clean house.But yeah, it's just like if she
wants a clean house or a housewhere it's only OP's brother and
her, they should just buy ahouse and save it, save money
for them.
Erika (22:49):
Exactly. What are you kicking out? This poor girl has
no relatives, has no family, hasno mother, has no father, and
you're coming and telling her,Oh, get out, because I wanna
have a family here.
Edgar (23:02):
Exactly, yeah.
Erika (23:04):
And she was not being, what do you call it? Aggressive.
Aggressive. Was just stickingout for herself.
Edgar (23:11):
Yeah, the girlfriend was probably making up the story or
like
Erika (23:16):
Yeah, and I really, really think that she's probably
right now, the reason thatthey're not even talking or she
hasn't come over or he's alsonot talking to her is because
she's literally making himchoose. You're choosing her or
me.
Edgar (23:32):
Probably, yeah. She seems like the manipulative kind.
Erika (23:35):
Yeah, 100%.
Edgar (23:36):
Which is unfair as well because this is all just to have
a house already ready for them,you know? I think they should
just like, if they really want afamily like that, they should
move out themselves, or at leastsave money. Because they're just
trying to fast track all that,you know? And just go straight
to the house that technicallyeven though it's theirs, it's
(23:57):
not like the house that they'veearned.
Erika (24:00):
Yeah, but then he also said it's too soon, so why is
she planning? Like he literallysaid to her, Oh don't worry
about the details right nowbecause it's too soon to really
say that we want to have afamily yet.
Edgar (24:13):
I can think two things. One, we only hear in half the
story. We don't know what Opie'sbrother and the girlfriend are
planning behind OP's back. Andalso the second thing could be
that the girlfriend just wasdoing this, like she was trying
to fight the seeds ofmanipulation, she obviously
backfired because she was toohand fisted and I think she
(24:37):
assumed that OP would crack moreeasily.
Erika (24:40):
Or it could backfire that he knew that the girlfriend was
going to talk to her and hedidn't realize that she was
going to respond to that, hissister was going to respond to
that. Yeah. Like that way, sothat's why he's saying you were
unnecessarily aggressive.
Edgar (24:57):
He's unnecessarily stupid.
Erika (24:58):
Yeah, exactly. He's not thinking with his brains. So the
top comment is not the asshole.All these things she was
suggesting, like boardingschool, who would be paying for
that? Your inheritance, brother?
Because it doesn't seem like itwould be her covering any cost.
(25:20):
It's yours in your brother'shouse. Even if she did move in,
it would still be yours in yourbrother's house. She would just
be living there. I'd have been alot more blunt if someone had an
audacity to tell me to move outbecause they felt entitled to my
inheritance and what I should bedoing with it.
In my opinion, the fact that shehasn't been over and they
(25:41):
haven't spoken is probablybecause she doubled down on what
she said to you. And then OPresponded, Wouldn't surprise me
if she's trying to force mybrother to choose. And then
again, if she was to leave andgo somewhere else, you know the
inheritance, which is half ofthe house, how is that fair for
(26:02):
her to just not have it, youknow what mean? So it would be
they would have to sell thehouse and then split the money.
Edgar (26:10):
Yeah, I think the dad would not approve of his
girlfriend.
Erika (26:13):
Exactly.
Edgar (26:13):
If he was still around.
Erika (26:15):
Yeah, definitely not. I think you should count your
blessings soon. Let her go. Sheis a manipulative person.
Edgar (26:24):
Exactly. Final verdict?
Erika (26:28):
She is not the asshole. She did good by sticking up for
herself.
Edgar (26:31):
Exactly. She's just protecting her living situation.
Erika (26:36):
I know.
Edgar (26:38):
I feel like she can have a box, like a cardboard box
outside and the girlfriend wouldjust be so happy because she got
the house at the end.
Erika (26:45):
Yeah, she doesn't care about her. Mm-mm. But she wants
to be part of the family. Thatmakes no sense.
Edgar (26:53):
I know, yeah.
Erika (26:54):
So the next story is, Am I the asshole for lying about
where I was going to college somy stepsister wouldn't follow
me? My mom married her husband,Mike, when I, 18 female, was
nine.
Edgar (27:04):
That's such an awkward way to say it.
Erika (27:06):
Exactly. That's why I was like, what? Okay. I'll say it
again. My mom married herhusband Mike when I, 18 female,
was nine.
Mike had a daughter calledCharlotte, who's same age as me.
My mom loved having another girland Charlotte never had a mom in
her life, so the two of thembonded super fast. And my mom
was super excited to have analmost twins which is what my
(27:27):
mom used to call us. Charlotteacts younger than she is, always
has. She gets attached and wantsto be with someone 20 fourseven
and followed me around the wholetime like she was a much younger
sibling.
She did the same with my momtoo. My mom loved it and
encouraged it and she forced meto put up with it. She scolded
(27:48):
me regularly. When I didn't wantto spend time with Charlotte, I
was short with her. Mom told meCharlotte was my sister now and
that she would embrace havingsomeone who loved me and wanted
me around so bad.
I tried to explain to my mom,having Charlotte follow me
around and be forced on me 20was making me dislike her and
not want to give her a chance.But my mom told me that was a
(28:09):
child's way of thinking about itand nine year olds are big
girls. Then when I tried to talkto my mom about 12, she told me
I was old enough to be matureand loving and to know the true
meaning of family is to love andappreciate those who treat us
well and Charlotte adored me andwould do anything for me. I said
that wasn't true because shewould not leave me alone. Mom
(28:32):
hated that I wanted that.
This is issues. We fought a lotwhen I was fourteen-sixteen and
then learned to stop speaking tomy mom. What stuck most was that
I could talk to extended familyand ask for them to try to talk
to my mom but it wouldn't work.And my dad's dead, so I didn't
have another parent to run to. Iknew when I was 15 that my mom
(28:53):
and Charlotte wanted us toattend college together and they
were planning to have us go tothe same school.
I tried to get Charlotte tounderstand that we needed the
separation and we shouldn't baseour school on each other but she
was set on following me. My momdidn't support me either. She
made it a big deal that I wanteddistance from Charlotte. So,
when college talk was happeningmore seriously, I lied about
(29:16):
where I was applying to. I madesure all the schools I mentioned
to mom and Charlotte were prettyfar from where I was actually
planning to go.
Charlotte accepted where she andmy mom thought I would be
accepted, but it wasn't. Beforegraduation, moved to my parental
aunt's house to avoid theblacklash that I knew would
come. Now, the truth is outthere and Charlene decided she's
(29:37):
not going to college at all. Mymom is furious and she tried to
shame me for the stunt oftearing our family apart. She
told me I had a lot of making upto do and I told her in reply
that I don't regret my decision.
I said my only regret is that Iwas forced to lie. Mom said
nobody forced me to lie and Isaid they did, by giving me no
choice but to accept Charlottefollowing me. I told mom I knew
(29:58):
either her or Charlotte wouldhave sabotaged me if I openly
applied to a school Charlottecouldn't attend. Mom told me I
wasn't thinking of what was bestfor Charlotte and as an
afterthought she said for me. Itold her the best thing for
Charlotte is to no concern ofmine.
Mom said that wasn't kind and Ishould be kind. Mom asked my
maternal aunt, asking her sisterto talk to me. My aunt did and
(30:21):
she told me she understood why Idid what I did, but I should
apologize and at least regretlying a little because I
interrupted Charlotte's planwith my actions. I told her I
did not want to be in the samecollege as Charlotte and I
didn't want to be in the samestate as her. My aunt said that
was extreme to feel so stronglyabout it instead of keeping my
distance at college.
(30:42):
She told me I lied so easily andI could have handled it in a far
more mature way. She said thecommunication was key. I asked
her what good communication waswhen my mom willingly ignores my
communication attempts. Mom wasfurious when my aunt told her
everything I said. I feel likewhile lying isn't the ideal or
first choice people should use,I feel like I was left with no
(31:05):
other choice.
Maybe I was too close to judgethis though. So am I being an
asshole?
Edgar (31:11):
I do not think so. He just was trying to get out of a
situation and preventingsomething that would not have
served her well.
Erika (31:22):
Yeah. I definitely believe that the mom was at
fault here. She coddledCharlotte too much. She made her
depend on them and OP to thepoint where she couldn't do
anything by herself. And that'snot what you should do, you
(31:42):
know?
You need to have dependency inpeople, in any relationship. You
can't just codepend on everybodyyou meet. And the fact that she
was saying, Oh, you know, if Iwas to apply to a college and
she didn't get accepted, youwould have literally sabotaged
me. And she didn't even denythat. She just said that she was
(32:04):
being selfish basically.
Edgar (32:05):
I think they were being selfish for wanting like just
Charlotte to tag along and OP'salive, like without her consent.
Erika (32:13):
Yeah, and honestly she did not make any type of
interruptions in Charlotte'splans. She does not need to be a
part of it at all.
Edgar (32:23):
Yeah, gets to go to college.
Erika (32:26):
Yeah.
Edgar (32:27):
Like not going with your cousin is not gonna stop you
from doing your Your
Erika (32:31):
sister, yeah.
Edgar (32:32):
Cousin sister is not gonna stop you from doing your
own life.
Erika (32:35):
Yeah, exactly. So the fact that she doesn't wanna go
to college is just her beingmanipulative.
Edgar (32:41):
Yeah, she's just saying that just so everyone move
forward to her. And so far theadults are for some reason, but
not OP.
Erika (32:47):
I know, that's so annoying. Even the aunt, the
aunt annoys me too because shedid not back her up. And it's
just one of those things whereI'm just, she has nobody to turn
to. She has nobody that's on herside, but I'm glad she's going
to a different college and so beit. But my biggest fear here is
that they're gonna find out whatcollege she's going to and then
(33:10):
by the next semester herstepsister is gonna be there.
Edgar (33:13):
I know, I think overall it's gonna be an annoying
situation so I feel like she,OP, should so keep it secret.
But yeah. At least until like,yeah just for as long as you
can.
Erika (33:25):
Yeah, but then you know, she's a parent, so it's just one
of those things. I don't know ifher mom is paying for it or if
she has some type of loans. It'shard. So hopefully she doesn't
get that information.
Edgar (33:40):
Hopefully it's a good school. Like a school that's
hard to get into.
Erika (33:44):
Yeah. So the top comment is, Mom did Charlotte no favors
by cuddling Charlotte'sneediness and codependency.
Sally O. P. Was right that sincemom refused to address the co
dependency and criticized anyattempts at independence that
she had no choice but to lieabout where to apply to college.
Notably, the mom didn't denyOpie saying someone would have
(34:06):
never touched her college choicehad they been open and honest.
Aunt is naive that if OP andCharlotte attended college
together, that OP could somehowkeep her distance, occasional
classes together, room together,and how they're OP and not eat
together and exclude her fromactivities. So it's gonna be an
(34:27):
on and on thing if they were togo to the same college. And
that's what the aunt does notunderstand. Saying, Oh, you
could just go through separateways in college.
That's not, it can't happen.
Edgar (34:39):
I say it could happen, but knowing Charlotte from what
we read, she's probably gonna bein every single class, club,
just attached to the hip with OPduring the entire college time.
Erika (34:52):
That's just weird. OP actually responded to the entire
comment and says, Exactly. Itwould be a never ending issue.
Charlotte would try to make surewe were roommates, she would
make sure she followed mearound, and that I couldn't do
too much without her. It wouldbe suffocating and I would have
to drop out.
Edgar (35:11):
Don't think she would actually drop out, but yeah.
Like it just wasn't gonna be funfor her. It's Or productive.
Erika (35:15):
It's so terrible. She can't experience anything by
herself, she can't make newfriends because she'd probably
have to tag along. And it'sjust, it's so frustrating that
this could have all stopped ifthe mother wouldn't have allowed
this behavior to intensify andagree upon it.
Edgar (35:36):
Is a rhetoric?
Erika (35:37):
She's not the asshole. She had to do what she had to do
and she was left with no choicebut to lie.
Edgar (35:42):
Yeah, I agree. Lying often is not the ideal
situation, but it's not reallylying, it's more like, I guess
it is kind of lying. It islying. I was trying to say that
she just was stretching thetruth, so hiding some of the
actual truth. That's lying.
That ends up when you don't tellthe whole truth. I wouldn't
(36:04):
consider that lying, but I doremember her actually lying to
them. I was like, Oh, I'm goingto D school. She was lying. I
feel like she should have justwaited to actually tell them
where she's going to school,when they're actually in move in
day, like a day or two before.
As soon as Charlotte has aticket to the other side of the
(36:25):
country on the plane, you'relike oh by the way, this is not
a school I'm going to.
Erika (36:29):
Well, you know, it's just difficult. There's just no
winning in this case, sadlybecause she's only 18. She
doesn't have much resources soit's really hard for her to
really put a distance betweenthem but obviously if she does
go to college far away then shecan do her own thing and once
she becomes an adult she doesn'tneed her mom and she can go
(36:51):
anywhere she wants. Sadly rightnow that's not in her cards.
Edgar (36:56):
The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole as a Waitress
for Accepting a Massive Tip froma Creepy Older Man? I, 27
female, am a waitress. Fridaynight I served this table. It
was a middle aged woman and avery handsome middle aged man. A
guy I would have gone out withif he wasn't so creepy.
He had made sure to mention thatthe woman he was dining with was
(37:18):
his sister. After the meal, hegave me a $500 tip. The tip was
almost twice the price of themeal. He told me the tip was
because I was so pretty. Afterwork, I told a fellow waitress
two female) and she was angry.
She told me it was a stupiddecision to accept that. She
(37:39):
said, I made it seem likebehavior like this is super
acceptable by accepting it. Iprobably would never accept a
tip like that under thosecircumstances again. But but,
yeah, am I the asshole? And Idon't think so.
I the coworker is clearly I see
Erika (37:56):
more jealousy.
Edgar (37:58):
Super jealousy. You know, super jealous of the waitress. I
mean, of OP. Yeah. Like, that's$500.
It's like, I think for mostpeople that's like, like, their
paychecks.
Erika (38:09):
Yeah. Why would you deny that?
Edgar (38:12):
Mhmm.
Erika (38:13):
Let's just be she's definitely jealous.
Edgar (38:16):
Is there anything I can think of? Like, oh, you should
have accepted a $500 tip, nowyou make it okay if people were
to accept $500 tips. Of course,I'm sure that waitress, the 32
year old waitress, would gladlyaccept the $500 tip.
Erika (38:31):
Exactly. So the top comment is, As a former server,
not the asshole, this was neverabout her principles. It was
about her being upset you got ahuge tip and she didn't. Your
fellow servers care about theirmoney, so you don't need to tell
them about yours. Burying aboutyour huge tips is a good way to
make enemies and get robbedafter work when one of the shady
(38:52):
ones sends a text to theirfriend or partner that has been
waiting for you outside the car.
Never talk about how much youmade in tips. No one needs that
information but you and the IRSand your boss.
Edgar (39:05):
Guarantee she
Erika (39:09):
have kept the tip herself if she had been the one serving
him.
Edgar (39:12):
Exactly. Yeah.
Erika (39:14):
She's just salty. Saltiness looks ugly.
Edgar (39:20):
Yeah, so Vanna, right?
Erika (39:21):
I would say she is not the asshole. Girl, enjoy that
tip. Even though he was creepy,but you know, it's not like you
did anything wrong. Doesn't seemlike she did anything extra. She
was just pretty.
Edgar (39:32):
$500 is $500
Erika (39:34):
Exactly. So the final story is, am I the asshole for
requiring my boyfriend to get adoctor's note after his
vasectomy? I, 28, non binarybiologically female, just
started dating my boyfriendBilly (29male) about three
months ago. I have had thisoverwhelming fear of getting
pregnant and parenthood for aslong as I can remember. Because
(39:56):
of this fear, have been on birthcontrol of some kind or another
since I had my first menstrualcycle when I was 13 and have
never had an adult playtime witha man without using protection.
I explained this to Billy on ourfirst date and he told me that
he also didn't want kids and wasat the time searching for a
(40:16):
surgeon to get a vasectomy done.Fast forward to today, he and I
were having a conversation aboutthe surgery which is scheduled
for mid next month, in which heasked if after the surgery we
could stop using protection andif I would stop taking birth
control. I explained that Iwould not stop taking my birth
control because I enjoy theconvenience of not having to
(40:39):
deal with my period. But as longas we stay monogamous, we both
get STI tested at the clinic andhe gets a doctor's note from the
surgeon stating that he has avasectomy done. I don't see the
need to continue using condoms.
He says that it sounds like I'mdoing too much to get the STI
(41:00):
tested and get the doctors know.Then he accused me of not
trusting him. Considering thatwe've only known each other for
three months and the fact thatthis is 2025 in The US, A) we
live in a red state. I think I'masking for the very minimum. The
fact that he's pushing back onmy request raises some red
flags, in my opinion.
(41:21):
Am I the asshole for this?
Edgar (41:23):
No, OP is not the asshole for just getting some medical
proof that this procedure camethrough.
Erika (41:32):
Yeah, I think this is a good way to start a relationship
or have a serious relationship,especially if you're active. I
think it's important to havemake sure that the partner
you're going to be with doesn'thave any STIs or any STDs or
anything that could be affectingyou in slying. What if he's
(41:54):
lying saying that he's gonna geta vasectomy done and he just
wants to, you know, it's just,you never know, especially for
three months of knowing someone,how am I gonna trust you? I
don't know you well enough.
Edgar (42:05):
And yeah, just comes down to trust. Having all this set
up. I'm sure if OP's BF'd atthis, like went through with the
doctors know and was just beingtransparent and kind to her,
they'd grow closer for thissituation.
Erika (42:22):
Exactly. If he was willing to make this something
serious, he would not becomplaining. He would agree and
he would do it. Because doesn'the want to make sure that she
doesn't have any STIs? Know, itgoes both ways.
It's not only for her benefit,also for his. So, the fact that
he doesn't, he's saying thatshe's doing too much is just a
(42:43):
red flag to me. I would be like,Oh my God. She almost fell off.
Edgar (42:49):
She was too lost in the sauce.
Erika (42:53):
She almost fell off.
Edgar (42:54):
I know. Currently Selena, our dog, is on Erica's lap, and
I guess she's just sleeping andshe almost fell off the chair,
so.
Erika (43:05):
Yeah, I have the bed on top of me, but it flipped off.
Edgar (43:09):
RIP.
Erika (43:10):
Okay, so I would definitely think he is being
very sketchy.
Edgar (43:17):
Yeah, shady for no reason.
Erika (43:19):
So the top comment is, like you said, you've only known
him for three months. It'sinsane to trust someone else
with a health decision likethat. And he doesn't want STD
tests. I guess if you guys wereexclusive I could see it as a
mistrusting, but you didn't saythat. What the hell?
Exactly. So especially if you'restarting dating, getting STDs
(43:40):
checking is so important. That'sjust gross. You don't want to
end up with chlamydia
Edgar (43:45):
or HIV.
Erika (43:47):
You just don't want to be with any STIs, STDs or whatever.
You want to be healthy and stayhealthy. So, final verdict?
Edgar (43:57):
Definitely OP is in the right and just like asking for
basic assurance that he's donewhat he said he's done.
Erika (44:06):
Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. Especially
with, you know, health concernslike that, it's a big deal. That
one decision can change yourlife forever.
Edgar (44:16):
I know, yeah. OP's ex BF soon, has big asshole energy.
Erika (44:21):
Yeah, leave him. He's not worth it, especially for three
months, nothing wrong with that,bye.
Edgar (44:26):
So
Erika (44:27):
that's all the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning
in to this episode. Check outour website www.yappings.com and
join our mail list for updates.If you love our podcast and want
to support us, subscribe andshare to your friends and
family. We would appreciate itso much.
Edgar (44:43):
Also, we have a Facebook group called AITA Relationship
and Family Drama linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share Amariaso posts you like orshare your own stories for us
all to judge. We may even read afew posts in one of our
episodes. Thank you. Bye.
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:04):
And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you
with yap-worthy stories we findaround the web. Today's theme is
Unwanted Attention.
Edgar (00:14):
Our first story is titled, Am I Overreacting for
Refusing to Let My Wife's WorkHusband Come on Our Family
Vacation? My wife, thirty fourfemale, and I, 36 male, have
been married for eight years,two kids together. She recently
started a new job where she hasgotten really close to one of
(00:35):
the coworkers. She calls him herwork husband and says it's all
jokes and office banter. Nothingserious.
At first, I brushed it off, butover time she started texting
him outside work hours, laughingat his jokes constantly, and
even FaceTiming him once when wewere on a weekend trip with our
(00:55):
kids. I finally told her it wasgetting weird and she told me to
stop being insecure. Last weekshe asked if he could come with
us on our summer vacation to thelake house. She said he has no
family around and could use abreak. I said absolutely not,
this is our family time and Idon't want some random guy
(01:16):
tagging along, especiallysomeone she flirts with all day.
She got mad and said I was beingcontrolling. Her exact words
were, I'm not even allowed tohave friends now. I told her
it's not about friends, it'sabout boundaries. She's still
mad and says I embarrassed herby making a big deal out of
nothing. So, am I overreacting?
Erika (01:39):
No, he's not.
Edgar (01:40):
Yeah, it's like a work husband, crossing so many
boundaries. Yeah, we're justlaughing right now because our
smallest dog Selena just jumpedon the table.
Erika (01:52):
She just wants attention. Yeah, I think there has to be
boundaries. I'm sorry no matterhow good of friends you are, but
if you have a family, you needto, you know, have some
boundaries when you havefriendships.
Edgar (02:09):
Exactly, and especially with the work husband title.
Basically, she's his work wifeand it's just a weird dynamic to
have and to bring that into afamily trip, it's gonna confuse
the children. And I'm sure thework husband may try to do
something.
Erika (02:26):
I mean, listen, I don't frown upon the work husband,
wife work, I mean, work wife.
Edgar (02:35):
Work wife, yeah.
Erika (02:36):
I don't, but as long as there is some type of
boundaries.
Edgar (02:40):
Like
Erika (02:42):
if there's not then there's an issue.
Edgar (02:44):
I feel like I have an issue with it if one or both of
them have partners outside oftheir work. Because no one wants
to know that they have a Imaginehave Well, imagine me. I go to
work and I come back and belike, Hey, I have a work wife.
That's just not okay. Feel likeabsolutely I'm just
Erika (03:04):
kidding. Like I said, it depends too. It depends on the
boundaries. It depends on howyou guys treat each other. He
kinda crossed the line, theyboth crossed the line when he's
FaceTiming her like in avacation or when they're texting
all the time.
You know there's a differencebetween keeping work at work and
(03:27):
then bringing it at home.
Edgar (03:28):
Yeah. I didn't like that OP's wife when confronted about
the work husband and theircloseness and she said don't be
so insecure. That's such adefensive thing to say and when
you don't have to be defensive.If she wanted to go about this
in a more healthy way and buildtrust with the work husband and
(03:50):
her own husband, she should havethem meet, you know? Maybe she's
friends over time.
Erika (03:57):
Yeah, the fact that she's literally reflecting it, like
she's saying no, it's becauseyou're insecure. It's because
you are making a big deal out ofnothing. Yeah. It's just her
literally proving a point. It'sthe fact that if she would have
said, Okay, I respect yourdecision, that's alright.
(04:20):
That's what a partner should do.You can't make somebody feel
comfortable with somebody else,a complete stranger, especially
with your family.
Edgar (04:28):
Yeah.
Erika (04:29):
Like, I know this is just me being paranoid but you don't
know his intentions. Don't knoweven with your, maybe you have
young daughters. Don't, youknow, it's just, it's a line
where you don't want to cross.And she's trying to make this
happen maybe because she wantssomething to happen in the
vacation.
Edgar (04:48):
Mhmm, that's definitely weird.
Erika (04:50):
Yeah. So the top comment is no way in hell is this
innocent. I hate the whole workspouse culture especially
because of things like this. Itbreaks down boundaries and
barriers that should be in placeespecially for people who are
already married. Put your footdown and let her know this has
gone too far to the point it'suncomfortable and that if she
(05:12):
doesn't cut off her boyfriendsoon then you'll be making some
moves.
Edgar (05:16):
Exactly.
Erika (05:19):
I agree. I think there's just many I think there's a lot
of issues now I think. This isthe second, third one that we've
seen about the work wife or thework husband that's really,
really pulling and scraping outthose boundaries between an
actual relationship, especiallywith your wife or husband.
Edgar (05:41):
Yeah, for it to be a whole culture, I just feel like
people spend a lot more time attheir work and they take it more
seriously and it's just the timething. The longer you spend with
someone you're just gonnanaturally grow a bond no matter
how innocent or not innocent.
Erika (05:56):
Yeah, and I mean I don't think there's something wrong
with having friendships orhaving a good relationship with
your coworkers. I think that'sgreat. It helps time fly by, it
helps a good work culture,everything. It helps everything
at work but it doesn't mean thatbecause you have a good
relationship with your coworkersit means that you're going to be
(06:18):
doing things that you shouldn'tbe or pushing Yeah, exactly. So,
what's the final verdict?
Edgar (06:25):
I'd say OP is not overreacting.
Erika (06:29):
Exactly.
Edgar (06:30):
He's okay to have his insecurities with this because
it's something valid.
Erika (06:34):
No, this is definitely 100% valid and if she doesn't
understand that then, I mean,counseling, therapy, I don't
know, but if not then you knowthere's something that you can't
really overlook or if there's adifferent view of this, there's
no way going around it.
Edgar (06:52):
I think OP's wife should just make the work husband her
actual husband at this point.She's gonna defend him so much.
Erika (07:00):
I know, it's kinda weird to have a relationship like that
where you choose your workhusband instead of your actual
husband.
Edgar (07:08):
So
Erika (07:09):
the next story is, Am I the asshole for telling a woman
at the gym that she'sembarrassing herself? I go to
the gym a lot. About six monthsago I noticed a woman I'll call
Andrea. That's not her name butit would be for the rest of this
post. I don't know if Andreastarted going to the gym six
months ago or if that's justwhen I noticed her.
(07:30):
Full disclosure, I spoke to herfirst, but I had no way of
knowing what the results wouldbe. A lot of machines at this
gym have little entertainmentsystems attached to them that
can access local channels. I goton a treadmill and realized that
the TV on the treadmill wasn'tworking. Andrea was walking past
and I said, Hey, do you knowthere's an issue with the cable?
(07:51):
This TV isn't working.
But I don't know if it's justthis one or all of them. She
said the same thing happened toher on a different machine. I
thanked her and that was thewhole interaction. A week later,
she asked me for electrolytepowder for her water. I said I
didn't have any.
She was cool with that and askedme how long I've been coming to
the gym and what I did for work.I answered and returned her
(08:14):
questions. She said she was newto the area and worked in a
private security. We had a fewmore chill conversations after
that. Six weeks ago, she askedme out.
For reasons I won't get intohere, I wasn't interested. I
declined. She said not to worryabout things being awkward at
the gym if we don't go out. Isaid that wasn't the issue, just
(08:35):
not looking to date right now.She kept talking to me and at
first I kept talking to her, butI started to think something
might be wrong.
I started to avoid her. Twoweeks ago, she walked up to me
while I was on a machine withonly one way to properly
dismount that involved steppinginto weights she was standing.
She asked if I was avoiding her.I said I was and apologized. I
(08:58):
said I just don't want to dateright now.
She said I don't have to avoidher to not date her. I said okay
and kept avoiding her though.Tonight while I was working out,
she confirmed me again aboutavoiding her. I had a bad day
and told her to leave me alone.She asked why I was being such a
prick and I said because I wanther to leave me alone.
I then said she was embarrassingherself and needs to stop. But
(09:23):
she put her foot down on myweights and I thought she was
going to press down on them. SoI let go of the bar very quickly
causing the weights to slam andmake a loud noise. Several
people looked over. She said nowwho's embarrassing himself?
And walked away. Did I go toofar by saying that? Do I owe her
an apology?
Edgar (09:42):
I don't think she is owed an apology because it seems
like, from my perspective inthat last action, it looked like
she was gonna try to kill him.Well, I don't know, was just
gonna step on him and stomp onhim. So I would be scared too.
It was such an aggressive actfor no reason.
Erika (09:59):
Yeah, I I don't think she takes rejection quite well.
Edgar (10:03):
Exactly, yeah.
Erika (10:05):
I don't, I mean, come on, if you're literally lifting
weights, it's not okay to putyour foot down. Like that's so
dangerous for the person. Andeven for you, what if the weight
goes on and goes flying and hitsyou in the head? You know, it's
just one of those things whereit's just not okay. And the fact
that she said, Oh, now look, nowwho's embarrassing himself?
Edgar (10:28):
She's On that to make a point, yeah.
Erika (10:30):
To put him in danger, I think she needs help.
Edgar (10:35):
Yeah, and if anything, she's the one that's being
embarrassed at this moment.
Erika (10:39):
Yeah, mean, she's definitely showing aggression
for no reason just because hesaid, No, don't want a date
right now. And okay, sure he'savoiding her but it's probably
because he feels awkward aboutrejecting her.
Edgar (10:52):
Like it's not, I mean it is about her but it could also
be his own personal feelings.
Erika (10:57):
Yeah, mean comfortable, he doesn't feel comfortable.
Maybe people take a little bitof time after rejecting somebody
to see them again, just like anyother person. So the fact that
she keeps saying why are youavoiding me, why are you
avoiding me, it's just leave himalone. He doesn't want to be
bothered.
Edgar (11:15):
That's such a clingy thing to say as well. Like I
feel like if you say that tosomebody, like, oh why are you
avoiding me? It just makes himwant to avoid you.
Erika (11:23):
Exactly. It's just interesting where, know I get
people have different views, butin this case I feel like Andrea
is not in the right right handat this point at all. There is
an update. I went in the gymearly this morning for a run and
told the front desk about Andreaputting her foot on the weights.
(11:45):
They said they would talk toher.
Then after work, I went in againfor a regular workout. I was
working on my legs then shewalked up to
Edgar (11:51):
my
Erika (11:51):
machine. The first thing she said was to apologize about
the weights. I don't know ifsomeone talked to her or if it
was of her own initiative. Iaccepted her apology and
apologized for saying she wasembarrassing herself. She said
she forgave me but I wanted toreally make it up to her I could
buy her a drink.
And she would buy me one too tomake up for the weights. Once
(12:15):
again, this girl don't know howto get rejected.
Edgar (12:20):
I know, it's like, would not trust that drink.
Erika (12:24):
No, it's so weird. Girl, leave the poor man alone. Have
some self respect. Okay, let mecontinue. I said maybe we should
buy our own drinks, meaningseparately at different places
and times.
And she misunderstood me andasked when and where. I told her
I meant that I didn't want to goout with her. She said this
(12:46):
wouldn't be a date but a resetof our friendship. Oh my gosh.
Edgar (12:50):
Is that what we're calling it now?
Erika (12:51):
Apparently. I said I didn't want to be friends. She
said I was being a douche andasked what my problem is. I said
the weight incident made meuncomfortable and I would rather
us just give each other space.She then asked me if my problem
with her is that she's Hispanic.
I was so taken aback. I didn'teven know she was until she said
(13:11):
that. I said no, that she justmakes me uncomfortable. She
wanted me to explain what abouther made me uncomfortable and I
tried to do so but she arguedwith every point I made. I got
frustrated and told her I justwanted you to stay away from me.
She said fine and I have a lotof maturing to do. Then she
walked away, I'm hoping that'sthe end of it.
Edgar (13:33):
Hopefully.
Erika (13:35):
So that's not the end of it. Really? Yes, that's the end
of it. I just Okay, so now she'smaking it personal. She's making
it way too personal, which wasnot at all.
And now she just has some beef.Now she feels like she has beef
with him.
Edgar (13:54):
No reason. Because I feel like she, even though Obi said
no, that it's not because she'sHispanic, she's gonna tell all
her friends, He doesn't like mebecause I'm Hispanic. Like you
can just tell.
Erika (14:04):
No, yeah definitely. I just, it's just, she's making
it, she's doing too much. She isdoing too much. Okay, so the
update is Andrea is banned fromthe gym. I was running on the
treadmill and watching TV.
She came up to me to talk to meand I ignored her, staring at
the TV. She raised her voice andI continued to ignore her. She
(14:26):
reached out and pulled thesafety tab out of the treadmill,
the one you connect to yourwrist so the treadmill stops if
you fall. Causing the treadmillto come to a sudden stop, I
tripped and fell onto thecontrols and the TV, scratching
my chin on top of the screen. Iwent to the front desk with
Andrea following me.
I told him what she did. Shekept trying to interrupt me and
(14:48):
talk over me, but the woman atthe front desk told her to be
quiet and wait her turn. I toldher Andrea pulled out the safety
tab while I was running andinjured me. The woman at the
front desk then asked Andreawhat happened. Andrea said I was
staring into the middledistance, like I was in some
kind of fog state and shethought I was having a medical
episode so she pulled the tab.
(15:10):
That makes no sense. She justhated that she was being
ignored.
Edgar (15:13):
Exactly. I just pulled up the surveillance photos or
surveillance videos.
Erika (15:16):
Exactly. The woman at the front desk asked her for her
membership card. Andrea didn'twant to give it to her. But the
woman at the front desk said ifshe didn't she would ban her.
Andrea gave her the card and thewoman at the front desk said to
leave and she was suspended fora month.
Andrea objected and got into anargument with the woman at the
front desk that escalated intoAndrea calling her the N word
(15:38):
and the B word. So she wasbanned permanently.
Edgar (15:42):
I
Erika (15:43):
hesitate to call the iHappy ending because the poor
gym employee had to put up withthe racial harassment. But I
won't deny getting to watch hercaught up Andrea's membership
card felt good.
Edgar (15:53):
That's crazy. Like she literally tried to kill him?
Erika (15:55):
I know.
Edgar (15:56):
Why does it This
Erika (15:59):
is like, the poor guy just wanted to work out. That's
it. He didn't wanna do anythingwith her. He just was being
friendly and then she just wentoff the rails when he rejected
her.
Edgar (16:11):
I know. I don't know why she even is like keeping
pursuing him. Like he alreadyrejected you and why would you
want to keep going with that?
Erika (16:21):
Exactly. It's just so crazy to me. It didn't have to
get this far. There was no needfor her to treat him this way.
So the top comment is the minuteher foot went onto the weights
it became really important toreport this crap.
(16:43):
I'm sorry you stumbled across agym stalker. So did I a few
years ago and it chased me outof the gym entirely. That's
scary too.
Edgar (16:52):
Feel like luckily I never had a gym stalker in all the
years I've been in the gym.
Erika (16:57):
That's good babe.
Edgar (17:00):
I get to meet her in peace. Have you had a gym soccer
before?
Erika (17:07):
I don't really, I only go to classes mostly. I don't
really go down too much. So Iusually go to the gym, do the
classes and then go to the saunaand then go home. So it's really
hard for me to get a soccer.Does that make sense?
Edgar (17:19):
I guess so, yeah. You're just not there for that long.
Erika (17:22):
No. No, because I don't like to go down the stairs. It's
because my gym is enclosed and Ilike to see outside when I'm in
the gym. What your gym is like,I like your gym because you can
see the outside and it's notenclosed and it's not
downstairs. So, yeah.
(17:42):
And then the other top commentfor the update was, Still not
the asshole. Andrea provedherself to be crazy with a side
of racist. And then OPresponded, and the irony is that
she accused me of being racistfor not wanting to date her.
Edgar (17:58):
I know. It really be your own kind sometimes.
Erika (18:01):
Yeah.
Edgar (18:01):
And also, he basically got the ex girlfriend experience
without dating her. I know.
Erika (18:07):
I know. Well, crazy ex, actually.
Edgar (18:10):
And,
Erika (18:11):
I mean he saved himself, he got to go to instincts
because he didn't save himselffrom a crazy ex. Even worse.
Imagine she's like that now.Imagine dating her.
Edgar (18:24):
I can only imagine horror beyond human comprehension.
Erika (18:28):
You're so crazy. Yeah, I think it's just one of those
things where he should befeeling lucky that he didn't
deal with that woman for toolong.
Edgar (18:41):
Final verdict?
Erika (18:43):
No, he's not the asshole at all.
Edgar (18:45):
Yeah, the asshole for protecting himself.
Erika (18:49):
And then it's
Edgar (18:49):
From a case.
Erika (18:50):
Exactly, and I think I see a lot of cases that women
feel stalked but you never haveguys always be like, you know,
there's this girl bothering me.A lot of people don't take them
seriously.
Edgar (19:03):
I know, yeah. It's kind of rare to see the reverse.
Erika (19:07):
Yeah. The
Edgar (19:10):
next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Reminding My
Brother's Girlfriend That I OwnHalf of the House We Live In So
She Can't Easily Get Rid of Me.I'm 15 female and have been
living with my big brother, 25male, for the last three years.
Our dad died three years ago andour mom abandoned us seven years
(19:31):
ago and is living abroad inJapan with her new family,
Kanishi Wow. Kanishi Wow. I'mvery independent and don't need
a lot of attention and generallymind my own business.
So I'm not a nuisance or a thirdwheel. I just need to be left
alone. That house we live inbelonged to our dad and he left
(19:56):
it equally to the both of us. Mybrother's been seeing his
girlfriend for a couple yearsnow. She's not bad and I
genuinely like her.
However, she wants to move inhere and they're talking about
getting serious. I've talked tomy brother about how this would
work and he thinks it's too soonto discuss it and we'll sort it
out when it's more serious.Okay, so the other day she came
(20:20):
to me and asked about my plansabout uni and if I wanted to
stay around and told her that,yeah, I plan to stay home while
going to uni. She suggested itmight be good for my growth to
go to a different study and getexposed to new experiences and
people. I also suggestedboarding school for next year.
I smelled BS, so I told her,What's this really about? And
(20:42):
she mentioned that they'regetting serious and want to
start a family soon and I won'thave a place here as they're
growing their family. Talkedabout importance of nuclear
family and all that nonsense. Iasked why she tried to get rid
of me. I've done her no harm andshe said it isn't personal and
it's just that their family willdeserve to have their own space
(21:04):
without relatives living withthem.
I remind her that I own half ofthis space, so she's delusional
if she thinks she can just getrid of me like that. She
initially said, My brother hasdone enough for me already and
it's time I do something forhim, but also said, Let's not
continue the discussion for now.Later my brother told me I was
unnecessarily aggressive andsaid she should have come to him
(21:26):
about what she said. I told himI didn't approach her, she was
just trying to manipulate me toget rid of me. He thinks she was
wrong to do that but I wasunnecessarily aggressive and she
didn't mean bad and now I'vedamaged our relationship maybe
permanently.
Later he had a fight with her.He hasn't talked to me since
then, four days now. She alsohasn't been over since. Am I the
(21:50):
asshole for being too aggressiveto her? And I think that's just
like, yeah, she's definitelydelusional with this whole
situation.
The OP's or OP's brother'sgirlfriend.
Erika (22:02):
Yeah, I don't understand why her she's just trying to
manipulate her, that's it.
Edgar (22:08):
Exactly. She's like saying, Oh, you should move to a
new city for your experience,but with what money? She's like
14, 15 years old? How's shegonna afford rent? I don't
think, it sounds like they're inThe UK because they call it uni
and all that stuff.
So I imagine it's gonna be a lotmore dangerous for her to live
in a city by herself with almostno more money.
Erika (22:29):
And then take her to boarding school?
Edgar (22:34):
She's just basically saying just leave the house. Our
family deserves a clean house.But yeah, it's just like if she
wants a clean house or a housewhere it's only OP's brother and
her, they should just buy ahouse and save it, save money
for them.
Erika (22:49):
Exactly. What are you kicking out? This poor girl has
no relatives, has no family, hasno mother, has no father, and
you're coming and telling her,Oh, get out, because I wanna
have a family here.
Edgar (23:02):
Exactly, yeah.
Erika (23:04):
And she was not being, what do you call it? Aggressive.
Aggressive. Was just stickingout for herself.
Edgar (23:11):
Yeah, the girlfriend was probably making up the story or
like
Erika (23:16):
Yeah, and I really, really think that she's probably
right now, the reason thatthey're not even talking or she
hasn't come over or he's alsonot talking to her is because
she's literally making himchoose. You're choosing her or
me.
Edgar (23:32):
Probably, yeah. She seems like the manipulative kind.
Erika (23:35):
Yeah, 100%.
Edgar (23:36):
Which is unfair as well because this is all just to have
a house already ready for them,you know? I think they should
just like, if they really want afamily like that, they should
move out themselves, or at leastsave money. Because they're just
trying to fast track all that,you know? And just go straight
to the house that technicallyeven though it's theirs, it's
(23:57):
not like the house that they'veearned.
Erika (24:00):
Yeah, but then he also said it's too soon, so why is
she planning? Like he literallysaid to her, Oh don't worry
about the details right nowbecause it's too soon to really
say that we want to have afamily yet.
Edgar (24:13):
I can think two things. One, we only hear in half the
story. We don't know what Opie'sbrother and the girlfriend are
planning behind OP's back. Andalso the second thing could be
that the girlfriend just wasdoing this, like she was trying
to fight the seeds ofmanipulation, she obviously
backfired because she was toohand fisted and I think she
(24:37):
assumed that OP would crack moreeasily.
Erika (24:40):
Or it could backfire that he knew that the girlfriend was
going to talk to her and hedidn't realize that she was
going to respond to that, hissister was going to respond to
that. Yeah. Like that way, sothat's why he's saying you were
unnecessarily aggressive.
Edgar (24:57):
He's unnecessarily stupid.
Erika (24:58):
Yeah, exactly. He's not thinking with his brains. So the
top comment is not the asshole.All these things she was
suggesting, like boardingschool, who would be paying for
that? Your inheritance, brother?
Because it doesn't seem like itwould be her covering any cost.
(25:20):
It's yours in your brother'shouse. Even if she did move in,
it would still be yours in yourbrother's house. She would just
be living there. I'd have been alot more blunt if someone had an
audacity to tell me to move outbecause they felt entitled to my
inheritance and what I should bedoing with it.
In my opinion, the fact that shehasn't been over and they
(25:41):
haven't spoken is probablybecause she doubled down on what
she said to you. And then OPresponded, Wouldn't surprise me
if she's trying to force mybrother to choose. And then
again, if she was to leave andgo somewhere else, you know the
inheritance, which is half ofthe house, how is that fair for
(26:02):
her to just not have it, youknow what mean? So it would be
they would have to sell thehouse and then split the money.
Edgar (26:10):
Yeah, I think the dad would not approve of his
girlfriend.
Erika (26:13):
Exactly.
Edgar (26:13):
If he was still around.
Erika (26:15):
Yeah, definitely not. I think you should count your
blessings soon. Let her go. Sheis a manipulative person.
Edgar (26:24):
Exactly. Final verdict?
Erika (26:28):
She is not the asshole. She did good by sticking up for
herself.
Edgar (26:31):
Exactly. She's just protecting her living situation.
Erika (26:36):
I know.
Edgar (26:38):
I feel like she can have a box, like a cardboard box
outside and the girlfriend wouldjust be so happy because she got
the house at the end.
Erika (26:45):
Yeah, she doesn't care about her. Mm-mm. But she wants
to be part of the family. Thatmakes no sense.
Edgar (26:53):
I know, yeah.
Erika (26:54):
So the next story is, Am I the asshole for lying about
where I was going to college somy stepsister wouldn't follow
me? My mom married her husband,Mike, when I, 18 female, was
nine.
Edgar (27:04):
That's such an awkward way to say it.
Erika (27:06):
Exactly. That's why I was like, what? Okay. I'll say it
again. My mom married herhusband Mike when I, 18 female,
was nine.
Mike had a daughter calledCharlotte, who's same age as me.
My mom loved having another girland Charlotte never had a mom in
her life, so the two of thembonded super fast. And my mom
was super excited to have analmost twins which is what my
(27:27):
mom used to call us. Charlotteacts younger than she is, always
has. She gets attached and wantsto be with someone 20 fourseven
and followed me around the wholetime like she was a much younger
sibling.
She did the same with my momtoo. My mom loved it and
encouraged it and she forced meto put up with it. She scolded
(27:48):
me regularly. When I didn't wantto spend time with Charlotte, I
was short with her. Mom told meCharlotte was my sister now and
that she would embrace havingsomeone who loved me and wanted
me around so bad.
I tried to explain to my mom,having Charlotte follow me
around and be forced on me 20was making me dislike her and
not want to give her a chance.But my mom told me that was a
(28:09):
child's way of thinking about itand nine year olds are big
girls. Then when I tried to talkto my mom about 12, she told me
I was old enough to be matureand loving and to know the true
meaning of family is to love andappreciate those who treat us
well and Charlotte adored me andwould do anything for me. I said
that wasn't true because shewould not leave me alone. Mom
(28:32):
hated that I wanted that.
This is issues. We fought a lotwhen I was fourteen-sixteen and
then learned to stop speaking tomy mom. What stuck most was that
I could talk to extended familyand ask for them to try to talk
to my mom but it wouldn't work.And my dad's dead, so I didn't
have another parent to run to. Iknew when I was 15 that my mom
(28:53):
and Charlotte wanted us toattend college together and they
were planning to have us go tothe same school.
I tried to get Charlotte tounderstand that we needed the
separation and we shouldn't baseour school on each other but she
was set on following me. My momdidn't support me either. She
made it a big deal that I wanteddistance from Charlotte. So,
when college talk was happeningmore seriously, I lied about
(29:16):
where I was applying to. I madesure all the schools I mentioned
to mom and Charlotte were prettyfar from where I was actually
planning to go.
Charlotte accepted where she andmy mom thought I would be
accepted, but it wasn't. Beforegraduation, moved to my parental
aunt's house to avoid theblacklash that I knew would
come. Now, the truth is outthere and Charlene decided she's
(29:37):
not going to college at all. Mymom is furious and she tried to
shame me for the stunt oftearing our family apart. She
told me I had a lot of making upto do and I told her in reply
that I don't regret my decision.
I said my only regret is that Iwas forced to lie. Mom said
nobody forced me to lie and Isaid they did, by giving me no
choice but to accept Charlottefollowing me. I told mom I knew
(29:58):
either her or Charlotte wouldhave sabotaged me if I openly
applied to a school Charlottecouldn't attend. Mom told me I
wasn't thinking of what was bestfor Charlotte and as an
afterthought she said for me. Itold her the best thing for
Charlotte is to no concern ofmine.
Mom said that wasn't kind and Ishould be kind. Mom asked my
maternal aunt, asking her sisterto talk to me. My aunt did and
(30:21):
she told me she understood why Idid what I did, but I should
apologize and at least regretlying a little because I
interrupted Charlotte's planwith my actions. I told her I
did not want to be in the samecollege as Charlotte and I
didn't want to be in the samestate as her. My aunt said that
was extreme to feel so stronglyabout it instead of keeping my
distance at college.
(30:42):
She told me I lied so easily andI could have handled it in a far
more mature way. She said thecommunication was key. I asked
her what good communication waswhen my mom willingly ignores my
communication attempts. Mom wasfurious when my aunt told her
everything I said. I feel likewhile lying isn't the ideal or
first choice people should use,I feel like I was left with no
(31:05):
other choice.
Maybe I was too close to judgethis though. So am I being an
asshole?
Edgar (31:11):
I do not think so. He just was trying to get out of a
situation and preventingsomething that would not have
served her well.
Erika (31:22):
Yeah. I definitely believe that the mom was at
fault here. She coddledCharlotte too much. She made her
depend on them and OP to thepoint where she couldn't do
anything by herself. And that'snot what you should do, you
(31:42):
know?
You need to have dependency inpeople, in any relationship. You
can't just codepend on everybodyyou meet. And the fact that she
was saying, Oh, you know, if Iwas to apply to a college and
she didn't get accepted, youwould have literally sabotaged
me. And she didn't even denythat. She just said that she was
(32:04):
being selfish basically.
Edgar (32:05):
I think they were being selfish for wanting like just
Charlotte to tag along and OP'salive, like without her consent.
Erika (32:13):
Yeah, and honestly she did not make any type of
interruptions in Charlotte'splans. She does not need to be a
part of it at all.
Edgar (32:23):
Yeah, gets to go to college.
Erika (32:26):
Yeah.
Edgar (32:27):
Like not going with your cousin is not gonna stop you
from doing your Your
Erika (32:31):
sister, yeah.
Edgar (32:32):
Cousin sister is not gonna stop you from doing your
own life.
Erika (32:35):
Yeah, exactly. So the fact that she doesn't wanna go
to college is just her beingmanipulative.
Edgar (32:41):
Yeah, she's just saying that just so everyone move
forward to her. And so far theadults are for some reason, but
not OP.
Erika (32:47):
I know, that's so annoying. Even the aunt, the
aunt annoys me too because shedid not back her up. And it's
just one of those things whereI'm just, she has nobody to turn
to. She has nobody that's on herside, but I'm glad she's going
to a different college and so beit. But my biggest fear here is
that they're gonna find out whatcollege she's going to and then
(33:10):
by the next semester herstepsister is gonna be there.
Edgar (33:13):
I know, I think overall it's gonna be an annoying
situation so I feel like she,OP, should so keep it secret.
But yeah. At least until like,yeah just for as long as you
can.
Erika (33:25):
Yeah, but then you know, she's a parent, so it's just one
of those things. I don't know ifher mom is paying for it or if
she has some type of loans. It'shard. So hopefully she doesn't
get that information.
Edgar (33:40):
Hopefully it's a good school. Like a school that's
hard to get into.
Erika (33:44):
Yeah. So the top comment is, Mom did Charlotte no favors
by cuddling Charlotte'sneediness and codependency.
Sally O. P. Was right that sincemom refused to address the co
dependency and criticized anyattempts at independence that
she had no choice but to lieabout where to apply to college.
Notably, the mom didn't denyOpie saying someone would have
(34:06):
never touched her college choicehad they been open and honest.
Aunt is naive that if OP andCharlotte attended college
together, that OP could somehowkeep her distance, occasional
classes together, room together,and how they're OP and not eat
together and exclude her fromactivities. So it's gonna be an
(34:27):
on and on thing if they were togo to the same college. And
that's what the aunt does notunderstand. Saying, Oh, you
could just go through separateways in college.
That's not, it can't happen.
Edgar (34:39):
I say it could happen, but knowing Charlotte from what
we read, she's probably gonna bein every single class, club,
just attached to the hip with OPduring the entire college time.
Erika (34:52):
That's just weird. OP actually responded to the entire
comment and says, Exactly. Itwould be a never ending issue.
Charlotte would try to make surewe were roommates, she would
make sure she followed mearound, and that I couldn't do
too much without her. It wouldbe suffocating and I would have
to drop out.
Edgar (35:11):
Don't think she would actually drop out, but yeah.
Like it just wasn't gonna be funfor her. It's Or productive.
Erika (35:15):
It's so terrible. She can't experience anything by
herself, she can't make newfriends because she'd probably
have to tag along. And it'sjust, it's so frustrating that
this could have all stopped ifthe mother wouldn't have allowed
this behavior to intensify andagree upon it.
Edgar (35:36):
Is a rhetoric?
Erika (35:37):
She's not the asshole. She had to do what she had to do
and she was left with no choicebut to lie.
Edgar (35:42):
Yeah, I agree. Lying often is not the ideal
situation, but it's not reallylying, it's more like, I guess
it is kind of lying. It islying. I was trying to say that
she just was stretching thetruth, so hiding some of the
actual truth. That's lying.
That ends up when you don't tellthe whole truth. I wouldn't
(36:04):
consider that lying, but I doremember her actually lying to
them. I was like, Oh, I'm goingto D school. She was lying. I
feel like she should have justwaited to actually tell them
where she's going to school,when they're actually in move in
day, like a day or two before.
As soon as Charlotte has aticket to the other side of the
(36:25):
country on the plane, you'relike oh by the way, this is not
a school I'm going to.
Erika (36:29):
Well, you know, it's just difficult. There's just no
winning in this case, sadlybecause she's only 18. She
doesn't have much resources soit's really hard for her to
really put a distance betweenthem but obviously if she does
go to college far away then shecan do her own thing and once
she becomes an adult she doesn'tneed her mom and she can go
(36:51):
anywhere she wants. Sadly rightnow that's not in her cards.
Edgar (36:56):
The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole as a Waitress
for Accepting a Massive Tip froma Creepy Older Man? I, 27
female, am a waitress. Fridaynight I served this table. It
was a middle aged woman and avery handsome middle aged man. A
guy I would have gone out withif he wasn't so creepy.
He had made sure to mention thatthe woman he was dining with was
(37:18):
his sister. After the meal, hegave me a $500 tip. The tip was
almost twice the price of themeal. He told me the tip was
because I was so pretty. Afterwork, I told a fellow waitress
two female) and she was angry.
She told me it was a stupiddecision to accept that. She
(37:39):
said, I made it seem likebehavior like this is super
acceptable by accepting it. Iprobably would never accept a
tip like that under thosecircumstances again. But but,
yeah, am I the asshole? And Idon't think so.
I the coworker is clearly I see
Erika (37:56):
more jealousy.
Edgar (37:58):
Super jealousy. You know, super jealous of the waitress. I
mean, of OP. Yeah. Like, that's$500.
It's like, I think for mostpeople that's like, like, their
paychecks.
Erika (38:09):
Yeah. Why would you deny that?
Edgar (38:12):
Mhmm.
Erika (38:13):
Let's just be she's definitely jealous.
Edgar (38:16):
Is there anything I can think of? Like, oh, you should
have accepted a $500 tip, nowyou make it okay if people were
to accept $500 tips. Of course,I'm sure that waitress, the 32
year old waitress, would gladlyaccept the $500 tip.
Erika (38:31):
Exactly. So the top comment is, As a former server,
not the asshole, this was neverabout her principles. It was
about her being upset you got ahuge tip and she didn't. Your
fellow servers care about theirmoney, so you don't need to tell
them about yours. Burying aboutyour huge tips is a good way to
make enemies and get robbedafter work when one of the shady
(38:52):
ones sends a text to theirfriend or partner that has been
waiting for you outside the car.
Never talk about how much youmade in tips. No one needs that
information but you and the IRSand your boss.
Edgar (39:05):
Guarantee she
Erika (39:09):
have kept the tip herself if she had been the one serving
him.
Edgar (39:12):
Exactly. Yeah.
Erika (39:14):
She's just salty. Saltiness looks ugly.
Edgar (39:20):
Yeah, so Vanna, right?
Erika (39:21):
I would say she is not the asshole. Girl, enjoy that
tip. Even though he was creepy,but you know, it's not like you
did anything wrong. Doesn't seemlike she did anything extra. She
was just pretty.
Edgar (39:32):
$500 is $500
Erika (39:34):
Exactly. So the final story is, am I the asshole for
requiring my boyfriend to get adoctor's note after his
vasectomy? I, 28, non binarybiologically female, just
started dating my boyfriendBilly (29male) about three
months ago. I have had thisoverwhelming fear of getting
pregnant and parenthood for aslong as I can remember. Because
(39:56):
of this fear, have been on birthcontrol of some kind or another
since I had my first menstrualcycle when I was 13 and have
never had an adult playtime witha man without using protection.
I explained this to Billy on ourfirst date and he told me that
he also didn't want kids and wasat the time searching for a
(40:16):
surgeon to get a vasectomy done.Fast forward to today, he and I
were having a conversation aboutthe surgery which is scheduled
for mid next month, in which heasked if after the surgery we
could stop using protection andif I would stop taking birth
control. I explained that Iwould not stop taking my birth
control because I enjoy theconvenience of not having to
(40:39):
deal with my period. But as longas we stay monogamous, we both
get STI tested at the clinic andhe gets a doctor's note from the
surgeon stating that he has avasectomy done. I don't see the
need to continue using condoms.
He says that it sounds like I'mdoing too much to get the STI
(41:00):
tested and get the doctors know.Then he accused me of not
trusting him. Considering thatwe've only known each other for
three months and the fact thatthis is 2025 in The US, A) we
live in a red state. I think I'masking for the very minimum. The
fact that he's pushing back onmy request raises some red
flags, in my opinion.
(41:21):
Am I the asshole for this?
Edgar (41:23):
No, OP is not the asshole for just getting some medical
proof that this procedure camethrough.
Erika (41:32):
Yeah, I think this is a good way to start a relationship
or have a serious relationship,especially if you're active. I
think it's important to havemake sure that the partner
you're going to be with doesn'thave any STIs or any STDs or
anything that could be affectingyou in slying. What if he's
(41:54):
lying saying that he's gonna geta vasectomy done and he just
wants to, you know, it's just,you never know, especially for
three months of knowing someone,how am I gonna trust you? I
don't know you well enough.
Edgar (42:05):
And yeah, just comes down to trust. Having all this set
up. I'm sure if OP's BF'd atthis, like went through with the
doctors know and was just beingtransparent and kind to her,
they'd grow closer for thissituation.
Erika (42:22):
Exactly. If he was willing to make this something
serious, he would not becomplaining. He would agree and
he would do it. Because doesn'the want to make sure that she
doesn't have any STIs? Know, itgoes both ways.
It's not only for her benefit,also for his. So, the fact that
he doesn't, he's saying thatshe's doing too much is just a
(42:43):
red flag to me. I would be like,Oh my God. She almost fell off.
Edgar (42:49):
She was too lost in the sauce.
Erika (42:53):
She almost fell off.
Edgar (42:54):
I know. Currently Selena, our dog, is on Erica's lap, and
I guess she's just sleeping andshe almost fell off the chair,
so.
Erika (43:05):
Yeah, I have the bed on top of me, but it flipped off.
Edgar (43:09):
RIP.
Erika (43:10):
Okay, so I would definitely think he is being
very sketchy.
Edgar (43:17):
Yeah, shady for no reason.
Erika (43:19):
So the top comment is, like you said, you've only known
him for three months. It'sinsane to trust someone else
with a health decision likethat. And he doesn't want STD
tests. I guess if you guys wereexclusive I could see it as a
mistrusting, but you didn't saythat. What the hell?
Exactly. So especially if you'restarting dating, getting STDs
(43:40):
checking is so important. That'sjust gross. You don't want to
end up with chlamydia
Edgar (43:45):
or HIV.
Erika (43:47):
You just don't want to be with any STIs, STDs or whatever.
You want to be healthy and stayhealthy. So, final verdict?
Edgar (43:57):
Definitely OP is in the right and just like asking for
basic assurance that he's donewhat he said he's done.
Erika (44:06):
Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. Especially
with, you know, health concernslike that, it's a big deal. That
one decision can change yourlife forever.
Edgar (44:16):
I know, yeah. OP's ex BF soon, has big asshole energy.
Erika (44:21):
Yeah, leave him. He's not worth it, especially for three
months, nothing wrong with that,bye.
Edgar (44:26):
So
Erika (44:27):
that's all the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning
in to this episode. Check outour website www.yappings.com and
join our mail list for updates.If you love our podcast and want
to support us, subscribe andshare to your friends and
family. We would appreciate itso much.
Edgar (44:43):
Also, we have a Facebook group called AITA Relationship
and Family Drama linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share Amariaso posts you like orshare your own stories for us
all to judge. We may even read afew posts in one of our
episodes. Thank you. Bye.
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