June 26, 2025 • 45 mins
Welcome to another episode of Yapping Schnauzers! Erika and Edgar are diving snout-first into stories about People Pleasing Pressure... those moments when you’re expected to say yes, smile politely, and swallow your rage… even when someone wants your golden retriever to double as a pony or your movie date literally ditches you mid-film. From guilt-tripping BBQ invites to flirtatious waiters, we're yapping through the messiest expectations people throw at you and what happens when you finally say "no."
🧠 Boundaries will be tested.
🎤 Opinions will be shared.
🐶 Dogs will not be ridden.
Tune in for awkward encounters, emotional meltdowns, and a few too many fist bumps.
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- AITA for leaving a “family” BBQ when asked to help in the garden?
- AITAH for hiding my savings from my dad and his wife?
- AITA for shutting someone down when they tried to talk to me at the gym?
- He got bored during the movie I picked and left to watch something else.
- They threw a tantrum when I wouldn’t let their kids ride my golden retriever.
- My wife cheated on me 5 years ago in the first year of our marriage. I found out on Friday.
- AITA for being "rude" to the waiter and "ruining" the dinner?
~
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Snowsers. We entertain you with
the noteworthy stories we findaround the web. Today's theme is
People Pleasing Pressure. Andthe first story is Am I the
Asshole for Leaving a FamilyBarbecue When Asked to Help in
the Garden? On Thursday, wasinvited to a family barbecue at
my ex's wife's stepfather'shouse scheduled for today.
(00:26):
I brought barbecue sausages andprepared a homemade pasta salad
and potato salad. Being goodweather, I dressed in summery
clothes and shoes, as did mygirlfriend who was also invited.
When we got there, we were toldthat we each had to help first
clear the patio of dog mess mydogs were at home and then clear
a space in the garden so that myex's wife's stepfather could put
(00:49):
in a greenhouse there next week.After stating that I wasn't
dressed for yard work and hadjust been expecting conversation
and drinks and food on thepatio, I declined to help.
Instantly everyone made it clearto me that I wasn't wanted if I
wasn't going to help.
So myself and my girlfriend leftand found a nice country pub for
dinner instead. I've got backhome now and the kids of the
(01:13):
adults who were there are nowcalling me names on social media
and stating that I'm scared ofhard work. Did I do the right
thing after being lured thereunder false pretense, or should
I have stayed and potentiallyruined a good set of clothes
just to appease them?
Edgar (01:29):
I'm siding with the OP here. Because it seems like they
were expecting some sort ofgathering or casual events, but
instead his family just ambushedthem with chores and just doing
a bunch of manual work theydidn't want to do.
Erika (01:49):
Yeah, I'm confused. It seems like they had a whole
meeting or text messages saying,Hey, you know, we're doing this,
but let's tell him that we'redoing your work and have him
help. Like, feel like the wholefamily knew that they were gonna
go there and do something. Yeah.But he was the only one left
(02:09):
out.
And he was in shock to know thatit wasn't just a barbecue, was
actually to do labor.
Edgar (02:17):
He was very messed up. I don't know what possesses
someone to force their ownfamily member, like just invite
someone just to do somethingthat you don't want to do. I
don't know, it just says a lotabout OPs, like extended family.
Erika (02:31):
Yeah, I don't think it's right. Nobody should be
pressured to do anything theydon't want to. Everybody has
their own right to declinesomething they don't want to do.
It doesn't matter if you'refamily or not. Especially if
you're family.
You shouldn't be forcing anybodydo anything or calling people
names because you don't agree ondoing something you weren't
aware of or told right off thebat. Especially in false
(02:53):
pretense like that.
Edgar (02:54):
So
Erika (02:56):
the top comment is, My sister and her boyfriend went to
a housewarming party dressed toa party, bottle of wine in hand.
When they got there they weregiving me a paintbrush and were
assigned a wall to paint. Theyleft too.
Edgar (03:09):
I guess this is a trend where you just get your random
family members who do houseworkfor you. I hope it doesn't sped
any further.
Erika (03:18):
Yeah, I think it would be different if they said, Hey, you
know, we're doing some yardwork.
Edgar (03:24):
Yeah, altogether, yeah.
Erika (03:25):
Yeah, bring in something you could eat or whatever or we
feed you and then could helpout. That way there's no false
expectations and everybody knowsyou're going there to help and
eat afterwards. There's no needto lie, you know what mean?
Edgar (03:39):
I feel like they believe that if they do tell the truth,
won't come. But I mean, if youtell the truth you get the
people who actually want to helpyou.
Erika (03:47):
Exactly.
Edgar (03:49):
And you avoid a bunch of these awkward situations.
Erika (03:51):
Yeah.
Edgar (03:55):
Final verdict?
Erika (03:56):
I would say that OP is not the asshole. I think he did
the right thing.
Edgar (04:00):
Clearly. So the next story is, am I the asshole for
hiding my savings from my dadand his wife? So yeah, I, 22
female, just got kicked out ofthe house I've been living in
for two years. My dad didn'teven say anything. It was all
his wife.
Not my mom. Never felt like amom. She told me straight up,
(04:23):
You don't help us, you don'tlive here. What she means by
help is handing over money. Iwork full time, I pay for my own
stuff, food, clothes, gas,everything, but that's just not
enough.
She wants me to hand over cashto her, to fund her her stupid
online casino addiction. Sheliterally sits at her laptop all
(04:44):
day clicking those spinningreels like she's gonna win big
and save the world. She neverdoes. She just loses my dad's
paycheck and asks me if I'vepitched in this month. And my
dad?
He knows. He knows she gamblesevery cent they have and then
cries about the bills, but heacts like he doesn't see it.
He's either in denial or justtoo tired to fight. Honestly
(05:07):
sometimes I don't even recognizehim anymore. He used to be a
solid, quiet, but dependablesort of guy.
Now he just nods along towhatever she says like he's
scared she'll leave orsomething. I don't get it. So
yeah, I've been saving secretly.Every payday I put a chunk in a
separate account she doesn'tknow about. I've been planning
(05:30):
to get my own place, move outclean, no drama, but I guess I
wasn't fast enough.
Last week she went through mybag while I was at work, found
an ATM receipt I forgot tofigure out, and she saw the
balance and lost a mind. Shesaid I was hoarding money while
she and my dad struggle. ClaimedI was selfish, that I've been
eating under her roof. First ofall, what food? Meaning the cup
(05:53):
noodles I buy myself?
And she told me I had twochoices, give her a share or get
out. I packed my bags the nextday. Now I'm staying at a
friend's place and I feel, Idon't even know, guilty?
Relieved? Angry, all of itmaybe.
She made it sound like Ibetrayed them. Like I'm some
villain for not funding her slotmachine habits. Like I don't
(06:16):
love my dad because I won't burnmy future to keep her fake
lifestyle going. And it's notlike I didn't try, I offered to
help with groceries. I paid theelectric bill once when they
were gonna be shut off, and Ieven tried to talk to my dad
about her gambling.
And he just told me, Don't startsomething. So yeah, I walked
(06:37):
away. But I keep wondering,should I have said yes? Given
her some of my savings just tokeep the peace a little longer,
should I have told my dadeverything before I left? Was I
really being selfish for keepingmy money a secret?
I mean, I just wanted to protectmyself. Am I the asshole?
Erika (06:57):
Absolutely not.
Edgar (06:59):
Yeah, I mean, I imagine the step a wife or whatever was
expecting at least a huge chunkof that savings. Like, have too
much money. I need to have atleast She wants to probably
control all the money, to behonest. She's not going to ask
for a little bit of it.
Erika (07:16):
No, she probably wants all of it. It's for her
gambling. Gambling issues aresuch, could break families, it's
very hard to stop and she needshelp.
Edgar (07:27):
Yeah, her greed will destroy her.
Erika (07:29):
She needs help, she needs therapy, she needs something.
It's not easy to quit, it's anaddiction.
Edgar (07:36):
And
Erika (07:37):
it's one of those things where you need to really, I
think he did good. OP did goodto leave. She did. She did good
to leave. Her father wants toput a blind eye and doesn't want
to see that she has a problem,then let him deal with it.
She shouldn't be there toosuffering. So the top comment
(07:58):
is, no, not the asshole. Youcan't let people like that drag
you down, or else you will besucked into the duration. Grow
your nest egg and find a placein the world that you can make
your own. You can't use a breakfrom what you've been dealing
with.
Take it, give it some time tofind yourself without the guilt,
without the expectations,without knowing if it was greed
(08:20):
or love that was at the root ofyour relationship with your
parents. Good luck. And then OPdid respond to that and said,
Thank you so much. That reallyhit home. I know I needed space
to heal and rebuild and I trulyappreciate the encouragement.
Think this is one of the reasonswhy I like Reddit sometimes
because there's people thatuplift you that have like a good
(08:41):
comment saying you didn't doanything that was selfish. You
did it for yourself and it's notright, you You shouldn't be
feeling selfish for it.
Edgar (08:50):
Yeah.
Erika (08:51):
It's not always a good comment, trust me. There's been
comments that I'm like, oh god.But I think that one was nice.
Would you have done the same ifyou were to have the situation?
Would you have left?
Edgar (09:03):
I would definitely have left.
Erika (09:05):
I think it's just a safe choice, honestly.
Edgar (09:07):
So far the verdict?
Erika (09:09):
Not the asshole. I think she did the right choice.
Edgar (09:12):
So,
Erika (09:15):
the next story is, Emma the asshole for shutting someone
down when they try to talk to meat the gym? So for context, I,
female 32, don't talk to anyoneat my gym outside of saying hi
or bye to the people who workthere. And having polite,
adequate when asking someone ifthey're using something, saying
thank you when they're done,especially for efficiency, but
(09:36):
mostly because I go to the gymstoned AF and I'm on my zone and
I don't want to talk to anyone.Last week after my workout, I
walked over the food carts by mygym to pick up tacos. While I
was there, some guy, 40 male,stopped me and said he went to
the same gym.
I had never noticed him before,but he insisted on walking with
me and talking to me. I was kindof annoyed. Just because you see
(10:00):
me on the street with myheadphones out doesn't mean it's
an invitation to talk to me. Imade small talk and tried to be
polite, got out as quick as Icould. So the other day when I
got to the gym, foam rolling outfoam?
Oh, okay. When I'm at the gym,foam rolling out with my
(10:22):
headphones in, this guy justbeelines to me while I'm trying
to avoid eye contact and squatsdown next to me and says, Hi,
and give me his fist pump. Igive him a quick heads up,
acknowledge him, but ignore thefist pump. Avoid eye contact the
rest of the time I'm there. Andthen today this guy comes to the
gym and sees me.
I immediately avoid eye contact,and he doesn't come to me. So I
(10:43):
think he gets the picture. Butthen when I'm doing leg lifts,
he comes over and tries to giveme a fist pump. So I take out my
headphones and say, Look man, Idon't want to do this. I'm here
to work out.
I'm not here to make friends. Idon't want to talk to you, okay?
And he starts to say, I justwant to say hi. And I respond,
Yeah, I get it. Please don't.
And put my headphones back inand kept working out. I realize
(11:07):
who saw this probably thought Iwas a giant asshole, but I don't
think someone's need forconnection overrides my need to
have a good workout. So am I theasshole?
Edgar (11:18):
No, yeah, she definitely isn't. I think it's funny that
she uses the time to be stonedwhile also lifting, but that's
also a little bit dangerous.
Erika (11:28):
Exactly, I think that's a little bit hazardous there, but
she doesn't need to say hi. Meanshe doesn't need to have a
relationship with anybody if shedoesn't want to. This guy just
wants to, regardless. I think ifyou avoid somebody's contact or
you don't want a fist pump oryou ignore some certain social
cues with somebody, you wouldthink that they would get the
(11:50):
hint.
Edgar (11:51):
Yeah, I'd feel awkward, to be honest, if I tried to make
a move and then was totallyrejected. I wouldn't want to
proceed.
Erika (11:59):
Exactly. It's just she has to just, she did the right
thing. I don't think she needsto apologize for anything. There
is an update. It says, Forpeople saying this would have
been different, he was anattractive guy.
I stumble and get awkward nomatter who it is if the
conversation needs to go beyondmore than a single question or
response. Men, women, children,this isn't a want it or don't
(12:22):
want as much as it's a I'm notin a headspace where I can have
a human conversation. For peoplesaying this is the same type of
person who wonders why guysdon't ask them out, I keep a
little post it note in my gymbag that says, Hi, my name is
and I think you're cute, but Iwant to respect your gym time.
Text me if you want to getcoffee sometime. I've never
(12:43):
given to anyone, but it's thereif I ever feel like I need it.
Anyway, I'm at work. Hopeeveryone's having a great day.
Edgar (12:50):
I think that's Cap, to be honest. If this was like a guy
that she was attracted to, Ithink she would have at least
been a little bit more nicer.Maybe you just say, given them
the note that I don't actuallyexist.
Erika (13:04):
So now you're blaming her because she didn't find the guy
attractive?
Edgar (13:08):
No. If you don't find someone attractive or you don't
want to talk to someone, ifthere's any reason you don't
want to talk to someone, you'refree to just go ahead. Think she
says if she did find the guyattractive, he would've acted
the same way, I don't think shewould have. I think he would
have been nicer at least.
Erika (13:25):
I guess it depends, but maybe the good looking guy knows
when a girl is not interested
Edgar (13:31):
and
Erika (13:31):
left her alone.
Edgar (13:33):
Yeah, but attractive in this case would be like someone
that she is actually attractedto and would want to talk to.
Erika (13:38):
I don't know, you were assuming here. You don't know if
that would be true, but youknow, that's just one of the
things we have.
Edgar (13:44):
I feel like it's a normal response. Like if there's
someone that you like and youwant to talk to, you try to make
it so you talk to them.
Erika (13:51):
According to her, according to her what she has
said
Edgar (13:54):
is The most unreliable person, to be honest. Every OP
is unreliable, TBH.
Erika (14:00):
You're just mad.
Edgar (14:02):
Because in every OP's eyes they see themselves as
angels and everyone else as thevillain. That's why they're
asking why they're the assholebecause they want you to say no.
Erika (14:11):
According to what she's written, she doesn't want to
talk to anybody. And thatincludes anybody attractive,
anybody in there, any children,anybody. She's awkward anyways
with everybody.
Edgar (14:22):
I like how a lot of people who say I'm awkward are
just mean. They're just actuallyrude people.
Erika (14:29):
Wouldn't say that. You're kind of awkward, but you're not
mean.
Edgar (14:32):
But I don't advertise, Hey, I'm awkward. I feel like
people who declare themselvesawkward before they talk to you,
that's like them tempering yourexpectations because they're
usually rude and they knowwhatever it is. They're just
lazy.
Erika (14:45):
Oh, I don't know. I've never had anybody tell me in
person that I'm awkward.
Edgar (14:50):
I feel like I've seen well, I've met a few people who
are like that. They're like, Oh,by the way, I'm awkward. Yeah,
and?
Erika (14:57):
That's so I'm like, How do you even respond to that?
Edgar (15:01):
Exactly. I remember one time I like, I met this chick
and she was like, By the way,I'm autistic. And I'm like,
Yeah, and I know that, and?That's crazy. That's crazy.
Erika (15:13):
Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. I guess there's more
people awkward than than you.Like, you know what mean?
Like, if you
know you're awkward Yeah. And then you
have somebody tell you that, you're like, dang. And I
thought I was awkward. Like, youknow what mean? For me it's
Edgar (15:29):
not a competition.
Erika (15:30):
I know, but like, you reflect, I'm like, dang,
I guess I'm a little better than I thought. Yeah. I
wouldn't even know how torespond to that if somebody came
and tell me, Hey, I'm awkward.I'd be like, I just gave you a
look like, Oh, okay.
Edgar (15:51):
I feel like that just kills the conversation.
Erika (15:54):
Yeah, I feel like the same way if somebody tells me,
oh cries in front of me, I getawkward. I don't know if I can
hug you or if I should say it'sgonna be okay or something. I
feel awkward. That's the sameuncomfortable feeling if
somebody came up to me and said,Hey, I'm awkward. I'd be like,
Yeah.
So the top comment is, not toask, Well, I'm tired of being
(16:19):
forced to be polite and notmaking people uncomfortable even
though they made meuncomfortable. More people need
to be blunt because people don'tseem to understand hints of
unwanted interactions.
Edgar (16:31):
Yeah, agreed.
Erika (16:32):
Yeah, I mean it was three times that he came up to her and
she kept ignoring him.
Edgar (16:36):
I know, yeah. He really wanted to have his bump for some
reason. Yeah. Even thatinteraction in itself, I don't
like it. What do you get out ofa fist bump?
Erika (16:48):
It's like you're trying to be friends or connect or
something.
Not that you're homies, but like, you know,
Edgar (16:56):
I know some people try to be friends before they get into
a relationship or whatever orthey try to be like buddy buddy.
But I think it's like so notmanipulative. Well yeah,
basically manipulative becauseyou're lying about your
intentions just to like in thehopes that something happens.
Erika (17:09):
Well you always told me that guys only want to stay
friends with you because theywant to get with you.
Edgar (17:14):
Exactly. Like you know when we first met, I was very
direct.
Erika (17:19):
Yeah that's true, you were very direct.
Edgar (17:22):
But I feel like people that do that kind of thing are
very like it just starts offwith you not showing your true
intentions out of like cowardiceor out of just being a liar, I
guess.
Erika (17:33):
I feel like you don't want to scare the sheep. I don't
know what say.
Edgar (17:36):
Scared the sheep? I mean, the sheep was scared, they
weren't interested in the firstplace.
Erika (17:44):
I don't know. It's just one of those things where people
take it slow, guess. You're kindof more direct and not everybody
likes that
Edgar (17:52):
or
appreciate
Erika (17:52):
No
Edgar (17:52):
one is capable of it because of the society that we
live in where everyone is justby default not interesting,
awkward, and doesn't talk a lotto people that they don't know
immediately or see often.
Erika (18:08):
Yeah, mean, well, because you have to be open. It's just
to be in a good place withinyourself and able to, you know,
want to share and talk topeople. Maybe people are not in
that time of their life thatthey're just like, Oh, okay,
you're talking too much oryou're too direct and I don't
want to talk to you.
Edgar (18:26):
Yeah, they're in the NPC era.
Erika (18:28):
Oh my god. But anyways, it's just like it's really lucky
when you find somebody that youhave click with and that you're
very, you know, like have a samewavelength and you can talk. I
felt like we were there in thattime when we met. When was it,
five years ago?
Edgar (18:47):
It was a while, yeah.
Erika (18:49):
So what's the final verdict?
Edgar (18:50):
OPs, love interest, A bit of a creep, but yeah, I think
probably about meaning. Butyeah, not entitled to OP's
attention.
Erika (19:01):
Yeah, I thought you were trying to say something else
about her being the asshole,because he wasn't attractive.
Edgar (19:11):
Well I think she was not telling the truth when she said
that if he was attractive, thatshe would have acted the same
way. I think she wouldn't haveacted the same way. Like maybe
ultimately, if he was attractivebut a creep, she would
eventually have went into thissituation, but I think she would
have been a little bit morenicer.
Erika (19:29):
Oh, okay. So, okay. I would agree with that somewhat.
Some people don't care.
Edgar (19:36):
Some people are lying.
Erika (19:39):
Some people don't care about looks. Not always. This is
very I'm saying it's rare, butsome people just don't care
about looks.
Edgar (19:48):
But apparently every single situation is a rare
situation.
Erika (19:53):
What are you talking about?
Edgar (19:55):
I'm just saying.
Erika (19:57):
But you can generalize something and think that
everybody's that way. You can'tdo that either.
Edgar (20:01):
That's called pattern recognition.
Erika (20:04):
But does it mean there's also some outliers that it
happens?
Edgar (20:08):
Yeah, but I don't make the outliers the rule. I don't
have that as my assumption ifthere's an outlier.
Erika (20:14):
Then you're
Edgar (20:14):
literally saying Like imagine, if there's an outlier,
what's the natural situation? Soimagine, so you know how there's
like three leaf clovers and fourleaf clovers?
Erika (20:25):
Yeah.
Edgar (20:25):
So four leaf clovers would be the outliers. If I saw
a four leaf clover once, Iwouldn't be like, Okay, from now
on I can assume that mostclovers are four leaf. No,
because it's an outlier. So it'snot a common situation, it's a
rare situation.
Erika (20:39):
Yeah, but you can't just forget about those rare
situations.
Edgar (20:42):
I could forget about it because it's not something that
happens often.
Erika (20:46):
I'm not gonna forget about those people, okay?
Edgar (20:50):
Was just saying it's a significant or it doesn't even
exist.
Erika (20:53):
Yeah, okay.
Edgar (20:54):
I actually have never seen a forklift clover in
person.
Erika (20:57):
I have. When I was little.
Edgar (20:59):
Yes. So you might have imagined it.
Erika (21:02):
No. Didn't.
Edgar (21:03):
Like the rest of your childhood. I
Erika (21:10):
have. I remember seeing
Edgar (21:12):
picture of it? No. Exactly.
Erika (21:14):
That's when I was little when did I have a phone with
a camera? I'm not kids in this era. I was born in 1993.
Edgar (21:21):
Interesting.
Erika (21:22):
Yeah. Interesting. Okay.
Edgar (21:26):
So, yeah. Final verdict?
Erika (21:28):
I would say that she's not the asshole.
Edgar (21:30):
Yeah, I agree, yeah, she's not the asshole in this
situation.
Erika (21:34):
Yeah. If it was just one time, I would agree, but that
was three times, dude. Come on.
Edgar (21:39):
I feel like she should have been a little bit more
upfront. It's someone you don'twanna talk to. I mean, like,
yeah, be nice if person That'swhat she
Erika (21:44):
was, though. She ignored the fist pump.
Edgar (21:49):
I mean, like, they seem to have, like, had some sort of
rapport, but, yeah, think maybe,like,
Erika (21:53):
feel like They didn't have a rapport. The only reason
that they were together or theyeven it was because he came up
to her saying, Oh, you go to mygym. And she was awkward. She
literally left him. She waslike, Okay, okay, you know, and
then left.
Edgar (22:08):
RIP. Hey, yes, though. Not the asshole. No, definitely
not. The next story is titled,He got bored during a movie I
picked and left the movietheater to watch something else.
Is this break up worthy? I, 30female, went on a movie date
with this guy, 30 male, to seethe new F1 movie. I already felt
(22:31):
like I was already compromisingbecause if I had been, because
if it had just been me, or meplus my friends, I would have
picked Materialist since Iprefer rom coms. What the hell?
I don't know these movies areout.
Yes! About a third of theWayfreen movies, he says he's
bored, pulls up Showtimes on hisphone, and decides he wants to
(22:54):
go watch the new Elio movie onset. But that was Jacob worthy.
That movie sucks ass.
Erika (23:01):
Really? Is that bad? I don't even know anything about I
Edgar (23:04):
was like, what? But I told him to go if that's what he
wanted, So he left, and I stayedand finished the movie by
myself. This is completelyridiculous. I felt disaffected
and kind of stunned. I was theone who chose the movie.
Who does this on a date? Also, Ihate how he likes juvenile
movies. Not to throw shade atanimated films, but I generally
(23:26):
thought Brad Pitt's efflin was agreat movie. He just wasn't
interested. I think this islike, yeah, I mean, it really
depends on how far along therelationship you guys are.
I feel like if I were to dothis, it would be kind of like a
joke, I don't know. You'd bemad, but you wouldn't be breakup
worthy. Would you agree?
Erika (23:45):
Let me think about it.
Edgar (23:46):
So yeah, no, it wouldn't be breakup worthy. But like on
our first date, which just seemsto be the case here, or like a
date where you're getting toknow them still, yeah, I feel
like it's kind of break upworthy. Because that's when
you're supposed to be on yourbest behavior.
Erika (23:59):
Exactly.
Edgar (24:00):
Well, have to be doing things where you're vibing
together.
Erika (24:04):
Or like, you know, lying about who you are. Yeah. Yeah.
No, I wouldn't break up with youif we were dating for so long.
Like, for example, if you leaveme by myself, I would be more
upset.
But if we were with my withfamily or whatever, I'd be like,
yeah, go ahead. Know?
Edgar (24:20):
Yeah. We definitely because we usually watch movies
with the kids.
Erika (24:23):
Yeah. Exactly.
Edgar (24:24):
But, yeah, I mean, Elio of all movies, yeah, that's like
a red flag in itself.
Erika (24:27):
Really? It's that bad?
Edgar (24:28):
I mean, it's just like I feel like a lot Pixar movies
nowadays aren't as good as theyused to be.
Erika (24:33):
I know.
Edgar (24:36):
There are a lot of good ones. I liked Soul, I like or
Luca. But yeah, mean, most ofthem are more like hit than
miss, or miss than hit.
Erika (24:44):
Yeah, I agree. What's the F1 movie?
Edgar (24:48):
I even know that existed.
Erika (24:49):
Me neither. I know Materialist, that's the one that
did Spider no. The Web?
Edgar (24:59):
I don't know. It's it's a movie I never heard of, so it's
probably not that good.
Erika (25:03):
Yeah. No. It wasn't good.
Edgar (25:04):
RIP.
Erika (25:05):
It wasn't good. It got it got really bad bad reviews. But,
anyways, I I want I don't knowwhat the reviews are for my
material is, so I would watchit. Alright. So the top comment
is yeah.
That's pretty rude. It showshe's not concerned whatsoever
about the impressions he made onyou. Wouldn't bother contacting
(25:26):
him again.
Edgar (25:27):
Yeah. It's over for them. But, also, if the guy willing to
do this, he probably wasn't asinterested on OP either.
Erika (25:37):
Yeah, definitely not. He's not interested in you, so I
think you dodged a bullet there,OP.
Edgar (25:43):
Mhmm. I mean, hear a lot about like really like the
dating market now is like prettyterrible in general. I know.
Like I have friends who alwaystell me about the terrible
dates, and I'm like, bro, why?
Erika (25:56):
You're lucky you got me though. Mhmm. Don't give me that
Edgar (25:59):
look. I just think it's a funny time that we're in. This
generation is cooked. No morerelationships.
Erika (26:14):
More cook and Everything's so superficial,
yeah.
Edgar (26:17):
Any sort of close bonds. I feel like it's pretty hard to
come by these days. Becauseeveryone's locked in their
houses usually, or they onlyhang out with friends they know,
or they just are on their phonesperpetually.
Erika (26:31):
Yeah. It's really hard to make a emotional or strong
connection. So I would say thiswas not one of the is not Am I
the Asshole? But I think thedate was an asshole for leaving
her like that.
Edgar (26:49):
Definitely. Yeah. AOP's date. The asshole. Out of
picture.
Erika (26:53):
Bye. Don't ever look back. Mhmm. Alright. So the next
story is they threw a tantrumwhen I wouldn't let their kids
ride my golden retriever.
Edgar (27:03):
Like a horse?
Erika (27:05):
Yeah. So I took my golden retriever Max to a local family
friendly festival last Sunday.It had outdoor booths, live
music, food trucks, kitseverywhere. I kept him on leash
the entire time. He's calm,trained, and used to crowds.
So he was just happily trottingbeside me, soaking up pets from
(27:25):
strangers and stealing attentionlike a pro. At one point, we
were resting near a shadedpicnic area, a group of kids ran
over and started fawning overhim, which was fine, it happens
all the time. Max sat patiently,tail wagging, then their parents
showed up, but instead ofpulling the kids back or
thanking me for letting them petthe dog, they started
(27:46):
positioning one of the kids likehe was about to sit on Max with
one leg lifted like he was aboutto mount a pony. Max stood up,
confused, and backed away. Igently repositioned him and
moved between them, and theparents, visibly annoyed, one of
them even pointed at Max like hewas some kind of prop.
(28:07):
No asking, no eye contact, justan unspoken expectation that
their children were entitled touse my living, breathing pet as
a ride. When they realized Iwasn't going along with it, they
stormed out with the kids,whining. One of the adults
muttered something under theirbreath and shooting glares back
at me like I had ruined theirfamily outing. And Max? I got
(28:27):
him a pop cup later and forgotthe whole thing.
Edgar (28:32):
Mean, OP definitely didn't forget the whole thing if
he read a Reddit post about it.
Erika (28:38):
No, that's frustrating.
Edgar (28:39):
But, ultimately, what were the parents thinking? Like,
dogs, I don't think they havestrong backs like that to hold a
child. No. Especially when achild's one hundred fifty, sixty
pounds.
Erika (28:50):
Exactly.
Edgar (28:50):
You can see that Max was visibly confused and scared and
backing Yeah,
Erika (28:55):
it's not something that happens to him all the time. And
it's just, the entitlement isfrustrating here.
Edgar (29:03):
Definitely teaching those kids to be like a bunch of
little assholes.
Erika (29:08):
Yeah, that's not okay. And then glaring at him like he
did something wrong, excuse me,you're the one doing wrong here.
Nobody should be entitled to do,use, do anything that's not your
property. Like, I don't get it.So the top comment is not the
asshole.
Dogs aren't horses for pity'ssake. That could have harmed
(29:29):
him. Exactly. We don't even knowhow much the kid weighed,
imagine.
Edgar (29:33):
Imagine it was like a fat kid, like two hundred pounds.
Remember that kid, remember
Erika (29:38):
check There's no way.
Edgar (29:39):
Remember in check four, the little kid was like
Erika (29:44):
That's
Edgar (29:45):
what I'm imagining. Definitely. Almost Max.
Erika (29:49):
Oh my gosh.
Edgar (29:50):
I imagine all those kids look like him. I'm gonna be
riding a party.
Erika (29:55):
No, I don't think that's the case, but it just doesn't
make it right for them to justbe like, Hey, I wanna use your
dog. Not even asking, no eyecontact or anything, and say,
Yeah, here you go. That's crazyto me. Entitlement, frustrates.
Edgar (30:14):
I yeah. I feel like we all know those kinds of parents
that let their kids just dowhatever.
Erika (30:19):
They don't know the
Edgar (30:19):
word And like even, yeah, they don't know the word no or
they encourage this. Like theworst kind of parents are the
ones that would encourage thiskind of behavior, you know?
Erika (30:27):
Yeah. It just shows that later in life they're gonna get
hit with a lot of walls.
Edgar (30:35):
Mhmm. Okay, so final verdict?
Erika (30:38):
I would say that he is not the asshole. Poor Megs.
Edgar (30:44):
Mhmm, agreed. The next story is titled, My wife cheated
on me five years ago in thefirst year of our marriage.
Before or after she got pregnantbefore her son, I found out on
Friday. So I know my son ismine. Kids are little mini me
and all ways so no DNA testrequired, but the betrayal
hurts.
(31:05):
Even if it was five years ago,we built a family in that time.
We've had immeasurable ups anddowns since then. Just a few
months ago I told her there wasno battle, we couldn't get
through together, except forthis one. It feels like
everything is crumbling now. Ifeel cold to her.
If I decide to leave, we becomeanother broken family in a world
where love is scarce. If I stay,I don't know if I could ever
(31:28):
truly forgive her. I don't knowif I could still see my loving
wife. I'm truly torn. If she didit twice, she could do it again,
right?
She did it twice?
Erika (31:38):
What is it again?
Edgar (31:42):
If she did it twice, she'd do it again, right? Yeah,
I mean,
Erika (31:44):
it's a pattern.
Edgar (31:45):
Pattern recognition. Then where does that leave me? TLDR
Family stays together by hisfile into God knows what. Family
breaks a cart. Entire family'sfile.
Guess my pain is worthlesscomparing it to. Should that be
my answer? Yeah, so here is theedit. OP added, This is not
(32:09):
about my child. Please stopscreaming DNA tests.
It's not happening. He's indenial. As an adopter, taught
myself, I have no problemraising a child that's not mine.
I think you do actually, but heis mine and you can't change my
mind on that. Also she cheatedwith an ex while I was working
to refurbish hotels out ofstate.
Her reason was I wasn'tcommunicating enough, which I
(32:31):
don't find as a viable reason tobetray her husband, but she did
it twice.
Erika (32:36):
Oh my god, that's why he said earlier on that he cheated
twice.
Edgar (32:40):
That's so crazy.
Erika (32:41):
Dude, why are you with why
did you stay with her?
Edgar (32:46):
I remember seeing this post on Twitter. This chick was
like, a real man stays with awoman who cheats on him. I feel
like this is the kind of advicehe's looking for in the bread.
Someone's like whip him backinto shape, but I don't know. I
feel like his life is over.
He's like, don't want be ageneral statistic. Meanwhile,
he's one of the numbers.
Erika (33:06):
Jeez. He should have left when she first cheated.
Edgar (33:12):
I I guess we need more information, but I don't know if
she's finding out about if he isfinding out about the times she
cheated like now or if she knewearlier. But yeah, seems like
it's been five years.
Erika (33:26):
I think he found out early, like the last one he
mentioned, I think he knew aboutit, but he forgave her. And then
he just found out on Friday,which is recent, this is a day
ago, was posted, that shecheated again.
Edgar (33:40):
RIP.
Erika (33:44):
My gosh.
Edgar (33:45):
That's so, well, if he knows off, I guess.
Erika (33:50):
Yeah, and it sucks because now, what, they have
children? They have a childtogether, so it's not easy to
walk away. Right. Mhmm. Wouldyou walk away?
Edgar (33:59):
Me? Yeah, probably.
Erika (34:02):
And leave a child?
Edgar (34:03):
Yes.
Erika (34:04):
Would you fight for custody? No. Because
you want a DNA test?
Edgar (34:11):
That child not mine. That's not my child.
Erika (34:17):
Oh my gosh, you're hilarious. Okay, let me read the
top comment.
Edgar (34:21):
My lion does not consent himself with a DNA He'd be like,
Do you want to take a DNA test?And they'd be you want to take a
DNA test? And they'd be like,How no?
Erika (34:32):
You're terrible.
What if they end up being your child? Are gonna leave your
child behind?
Edgar (34:38):
The half hoe. A half cheater.
Erika (34:43):
You're some mouse. Anyways, the child has no
Edgar (34:50):
child has a DNA then.
Erika (34:52):
No, no, The child has no fault in this. So you shouldn't
be leaving your child behind.
Edgar (34:57):
Leave your child behind. Have freedom. Escape the matrix.
Erika (35:01):
Oh my gosh. Absolutely not. Anyways, the top comment is
Edgar (35:07):
The government is using your children to keep you in a
slave labor system.
Erika (35:14):
Why? So you don't believe in what do call it? When they
pay? When they pay money? Whatdo you call that?
When the the ex father orwhatever pays money?
It's not playing it.
It's not
playing it
by me.
Edgar (35:30):
What happened?
Erika (35:35):
Just to let you guys know, it's 12AM and he's making
me do this and I'm like not herefully.
Edgar (35:46):
Are you talking about alimony or child
Erika (35:48):
support? Child support!
Edgar (35:49):
That's what it's Right. You can't child support a dead
man.
Erika (35:53):
Oh my gosh. Anyways, I'll continue.
Edgar (35:56):
How can a dead man support a child? Interesting The
Erika (36:01):
top comment is, first piece of advice, DNA test. You
see what you want to see andpeople have a type. This is why
so many people are raising otherpeople's kids. Oh, didn't even
think about that.
Edgar (36:12):
Yeah, because I think in The UK, like one in every five
followers are raising someoneelse's child without knowing.
Erika (36:20):
How do you even know this? I
Edgar (36:23):
saw this somewhere. What? That's I saw this on a Twitter
post. But yeah, can you imaginethat? One in five families.
The dad doesn't know that thechild is not his.
Erika (36:33):
Well, there's always been cases where one of the children
is not the father's.
Edgar (36:37):
Yeah, but one in five? One in five families?
Erika (36:40):
That's insane.
Edgar (36:40):
I can't imagine that here. I mean, don't know the
statistics of that here, but Iknow in UK it's pretty bad.
Erika (36:47):
Wow. A lot of cheating.
Edgar (36:49):
If they have a British accent. They're for the streets.
Erika (36:58):
They're talking about tea and stuff. You gotta run.
I can't, I can't with you. Let me continue with the
comment. Just second, it soundslike you've made your decision,
but you just don't want to breakthe illusion of staying together
is better for the kid. It's not.The mommy and daddy end up
resenting and being cold to eachother and the kid thinks that is
(37:20):
normal relationship as theydon't know mommy or daddy are
only tolerating each other forthem.
And also, it really screws withtheir head when you tell them
twenty years later that you onlystayed together for them. We
would have preferred that youget divorced and try to be happy
as individuals, even if aschildren we would kick and
(37:42):
scream about it?
Edgar (37:44):
I think that a child is just screwed in general because
he either gets the impression ofhow relationships are from her
parents that they don't evenlike each other, or he grows up
without parents to model aproper relationship. So I think
that kid's spawned killed interms of relationships.
Erika (38:04):
Or they end that relationship and she finds
somebody else that's actuallygood for her.
Edgar (38:12):
You're trying to say
Erika (38:13):
the cheater can find a better partner? Oh my bad, I it,
I
it, my bad. I got confused.
Edgar (38:20):
I I feel like in these kind of cases, if all people
were to leave, he's in no mentallike, capacity to take care of
the kids. Like right now he'salready spiraling on a Reddit
post, so imagine the court, howhe's gonna react. He's gonna
like, oh. He's gonna take himaway in a white jacket.
Erika (38:38):
He's gonna need therapy.
Edgar (38:40):
So yeah, mean if he wanted to go with the divorce
he's probably losing the kid.
Erika (38:46):
Probably. Usually the court always goes with the
mother on some circumstances.Yeah. I feel bad for him. OP.
Edgar (38:54):
It's over for him.
Erika (38:55):
You should have left her when she cheated you first the
first time. He wouldn't havemuch kid with her and you could
have left without no ties.
Edgar (39:03):
Yeah.
Erika (39:06):
So I would say she's the asshole for cheating on you.
Edgar (39:11):
And he's the asshole for
Erika (39:12):
saying. No!
Edgar (39:17):
So your final verdict?
Erika (39:19):
I would say that yeah, she's the asshole and he could
just try to do as much as hecan. If he thinks that he's
gonna resent her all his lifeand they're gonna have a
terrible marriage, then he hasto divorce.
Edgar (39:35):
Okay, so the last story is titled, Am I an Asshole for
Being Rude to the Raider andRuining the Dinner? I, 27
female, wins out on a girlsdinner with my best friends,
(twenty six female and 29female). For context, I'm the
only one married, they are notin any committed relationships.
(39:56):
Yesterday we went to have dinnerat a sports barfamily restaurant
where from the moment we arrivedthe waiter, em early mid
twenties, started complimentingus. He kept saying flirty
fudding things.
I ignored him but honestly gaveme such an they were giggling.
After a while as he took outorders he kept refilling our
(40:16):
drinks, he kept saying stufflike that, and I did a sarcastic
laugh. Picture that one meme ofthe dude laughing and getting
serious. I know what meme you'retalking about too.
Erika (40:27):
Yeah we do.
Edgar (40:28):
He left the table and didn't do it again. My friends
told me I was rude to him andthat he was just doing his job
but OMG it was ruining myafternoon and appetite. But now
I'm wondering if I should havejust kept quiet. Am I the
asshole? What is this?
Erika (40:44):
So then she also puts in like examples of what he said,
like the comments he was making.
Edgar (40:49):
Yeah, like he would say, when he first sat us he was
like, I didn't know models werecoming today. And when we were
filling out drinks he said, Imight have put a little special
something on the drinks to getthis party started. And then he
went to check on us. He waslike, How are the cuties
enjoying the food? Another thinghe said was, My 29 female friend
(41:11):
was mid crying, about a recentbreakup she had.
The waiter said, Don't cry forme. I'll be right back. She
didn't laugh that time.
Erika (41:22):
That's so
Edgar (41:23):
I mean, in general, I don't think OP was an asshole
for shooting him down. If you'renot comfortable or if you want
some piece of quiet, you canalways just say something
politely. But yeah, it's reallyup to her. But all these
comments are pretty creepy.
Erika (41:40):
Dude.
Edgar (41:41):
Saying I might put a little something special on the
drinks, like to a bunch ofgirls, like this is just like,
so messed up.
Erika (41:47):
You don't say that. Especially if you're the server.
Mhmm. Even in jokes like that,that's just, you don't say that.
Edgar (41:53):
I know, I mean that's like
Erika (41:54):
could get fired for I
Edgar (41:56):
imagine, yeah. You like implied you roofy them.
Erika (41:58):
Exactly, that's just, that's not funny at all. And
Topcom is not the asshole. Isuspect his manager would be
interested to know that he'smaking roofy jokes to female
customers when he serves themdrinks. If you're about to tell
me that I'm misunderstanding thesomething special in the drink
remark and he was talking aboutalcohol, please instead do some
(42:20):
private reflection on what youbelieve that's better. There are
plenty of identical no he meantthe alcohol comments and a
really robust discussion of fullperspective below that you can
read if you're not sure where tostart.
Yeah, Even if he meant that, hehad a creepy way of saying it.
Edgar (42:40):
Yeah, definitely bad vibes around. I can tell why OP
didn't want to eat, especiallyafter that comment.
Erika (42:47):
Yeah, or didn't want to stay there or fake laughed and
made that meme. But just, shewasn't rude at all. She didn't
feel comfortable and he wasbeing creepy.
Edgar (42:56):
Yeah, I mean, I just find it confusing how their friends
still try to shame OP for beingmean to the waiter. It's because
they're single. Yeah, maybethat, but still I imagine they
feel the same creepiness as OPdid, especially with the drink
joke and with the waiter to thecrying friend saying, Oh yeah.
(43:20):
Like she's making a joke on herbehalf.
Erika (43:23):
Yeah. I mean maybe because they're single they get
hit on a lot or they go to barsand stuff and they have comments
like that all the time, so maybethey're synthesized?
Edgar (43:35):
What do they call it? Desensitized.
Erika (43:37):
Yeah, they're maybe desensitized. Desensitized.
Desensitized. And she wants to,they're used to it. But because
she's, you know, married orwhatever, she hasn't been
through that scene anymore, andso she doesn't think that's
acceptable.
Edgar (43:55):
So
Erika (43:57):
yeah, I mean, it just depends, but I really agree with
her this time, especially withthe comments he was making. I
don't think it's something thatI would feel safe either. I
would talk to the manager,honestly.
Edgar (44:10):
Yes. That's ruined someone's life.
Erika (44:14):
Excuse me. That's not what if one of those people
there were like younger or theywere 18 or they were, you know,
a lot of girls, little girls orwhatever, teenagers now look
like they're older but they'renot. Making comments like that
is just not okay. Trying to youtrying to have victim blame
(44:34):
here? Yeah.
Oh, okay. No, we're not doingthat.
Edgar (44:39):
Yeah. Is it a final verdict?
Erika (44:40):
I would say. You're such a vain. I would say the waiter
is the asshole here. And thefriends. Girl, get
no friends. Get out of there.
Edgar (44:51):
Yeah, you need committed friends. Committed, holy
friends.
Erika (44:55):
What? I was just saying there was no reason for her to
be called out on being rude. Shewasn't. She did what she had to
do. Alright, so that is all thestories we have today.
Thank you for tuning into thisweek's episode. Check out our
website www.yappings.com andjoin our mail list for updates.
(45:16):
If you love our podcast and wantto support us, subscribe and
share to your friends andfamily. We will appreciate it so
much.
Edgar (45:23):
Also, we have a Facebook group called AITA Relationship
and Family Drama linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share M. Dassault posts if youlike or share your own stories
for us all to judge. We may evenread a few posts in one of our
episodes if you're lucky.
Erika (45:39):
Thank you. Bye.
Yapping!
Erika (00:02):
Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
And Edgar.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Snowsers. We entertain you with
the noteworthy stories we findaround the web. Today's theme is
People Pleasing Pressure. Andthe first story is Am I the
Asshole for Leaving a FamilyBarbecue When Asked to Help in
the Garden? On Thursday, wasinvited to a family barbecue at
my ex's wife's stepfather'shouse scheduled for today.
(00:26):
I brought barbecue sausages andprepared a homemade pasta salad
and potato salad. Being goodweather, I dressed in summery
clothes and shoes, as did mygirlfriend who was also invited.
When we got there, we were toldthat we each had to help first
clear the patio of dog mess mydogs were at home and then clear
a space in the garden so that myex's wife's stepfather could put
(00:49):
in a greenhouse there next week.After stating that I wasn't
dressed for yard work and hadjust been expecting conversation
and drinks and food on thepatio, I declined to help.
Instantly everyone made it clearto me that I wasn't wanted if I
wasn't going to help.
So myself and my girlfriend leftand found a nice country pub for
dinner instead. I've got backhome now and the kids of the
(01:13):
adults who were there are nowcalling me names on social media
and stating that I'm scared ofhard work. Did I do the right
thing after being lured thereunder false pretense, or should
I have stayed and potentiallyruined a good set of clothes
just to appease them?
Edgar (01:29):
I'm siding with the OP here. Because it seems like they
were expecting some sort ofgathering or casual events, but
instead his family just ambushedthem with chores and just doing
a bunch of manual work theydidn't want to do.
Erika (01:49):
Yeah, I'm confused. It seems like they had a whole
meeting or text messages saying,Hey, you know, we're doing this,
but let's tell him that we'redoing your work and have him
help. Like, feel like the wholefamily knew that they were gonna
go there and do something. Yeah.But he was the only one left
(02:09):
out.
And he was in shock to know thatit wasn't just a barbecue, was
actually to do labor.
Edgar (02:17):
He was very messed up. I don't know what possesses
someone to force their ownfamily member, like just invite
someone just to do somethingthat you don't want to do. I
don't know, it just says a lotabout OPs, like extended family.
Erika (02:31):
Yeah, I don't think it's right. Nobody should be
pressured to do anything theydon't want to. Everybody has
their own right to declinesomething they don't want to do.
It doesn't matter if you'refamily or not. Especially if
you're family.
You shouldn't be forcing anybodydo anything or calling people
names because you don't agree ondoing something you weren't
aware of or told right off thebat. Especially in false
(02:53):
pretense like that.
Edgar (02:54):
So
Erika (02:56):
the top comment is, My sister and her boyfriend went to
a housewarming party dressed toa party, bottle of wine in hand.
When they got there they weregiving me a paintbrush and were
assigned a wall to paint. Theyleft too.
Edgar (03:09):
I guess this is a trend where you just get your random
family members who do houseworkfor you. I hope it doesn't sped
any further.
Erika (03:18):
Yeah, I think it would be different if they said, Hey, you
know, we're doing some yardwork.
Edgar (03:24):
Yeah, altogether, yeah.
Erika (03:25):
Yeah, bring in something you could eat or whatever or we
feed you and then could helpout. That way there's no false
expectations and everybody knowsyou're going there to help and
eat afterwards. There's no needto lie, you know what mean?
Edgar (03:39):
I feel like they believe that if they do tell the truth,
won't come. But I mean, if youtell the truth you get the
people who actually want to helpyou.
Erika (03:47):
Exactly.
Edgar (03:49):
And you avoid a bunch of these awkward situations.
Erika (03:51):
Yeah.
Edgar (03:55):
Final verdict?
Erika (03:56):
I would say that OP is not the asshole. I think he did
the right thing.
Edgar (04:00):
Clearly. So the next story is, am I the asshole for
hiding my savings from my dadand his wife? So yeah, I, 22
female, just got kicked out ofthe house I've been living in
for two years. My dad didn'teven say anything. It was all
his wife.
Not my mom. Never felt like amom. She told me straight up,
(04:23):
You don't help us, you don'tlive here. What she means by
help is handing over money. Iwork full time, I pay for my own
stuff, food, clothes, gas,everything, but that's just not
enough.
She wants me to hand over cashto her, to fund her her stupid
online casino addiction. Sheliterally sits at her laptop all
(04:44):
day clicking those spinningreels like she's gonna win big
and save the world. She neverdoes. She just loses my dad's
paycheck and asks me if I'vepitched in this month. And my
dad?
He knows. He knows she gamblesevery cent they have and then
cries about the bills, but heacts like he doesn't see it.
He's either in denial or justtoo tired to fight. Honestly
(05:07):
sometimes I don't even recognizehim anymore. He used to be a
solid, quiet, but dependablesort of guy.
Now he just nods along towhatever she says like he's
scared she'll leave orsomething. I don't get it. So
yeah, I've been saving secretly.Every payday I put a chunk in a
separate account she doesn'tknow about. I've been planning
(05:30):
to get my own place, move outclean, no drama, but I guess I
wasn't fast enough.
Last week she went through mybag while I was at work, found
an ATM receipt I forgot tofigure out, and she saw the
balance and lost a mind. Shesaid I was hoarding money while
she and my dad struggle. ClaimedI was selfish, that I've been
eating under her roof. First ofall, what food? Meaning the cup
(05:53):
noodles I buy myself?
And she told me I had twochoices, give her a share or get
out. I packed my bags the nextday. Now I'm staying at a
friend's place and I feel, Idon't even know, guilty?
Relieved? Angry, all of itmaybe.
She made it sound like Ibetrayed them. Like I'm some
villain for not funding her slotmachine habits. Like I don't
(06:16):
love my dad because I won't burnmy future to keep her fake
lifestyle going. And it's notlike I didn't try, I offered to
help with groceries. I paid theelectric bill once when they
were gonna be shut off, and Ieven tried to talk to my dad
about her gambling.
And he just told me, Don't startsomething. So yeah, I walked
(06:37):
away. But I keep wondering,should I have said yes? Given
her some of my savings just tokeep the peace a little longer,
should I have told my dadeverything before I left? Was I
really being selfish for keepingmy money a secret?
I mean, I just wanted to protectmyself. Am I the asshole?
Erika (06:57):
Absolutely not.
Edgar (06:59):
Yeah, I mean, I imagine the step a wife or whatever was
expecting at least a huge chunkof that savings. Like, have too
much money. I need to have atleast She wants to probably
control all the money, to behonest. She's not going to ask
for a little bit of it.
Erika (07:16):
No, she probably wants all of it. It's for her
gambling. Gambling issues aresuch, could break families, it's
very hard to stop and she needshelp.
Edgar (07:27):
Yeah, her greed will destroy her.
Erika (07:29):
She needs help, she needs therapy, she needs something.
It's not easy to quit, it's anaddiction.
Edgar (07:36):
And
Erika (07:37):
it's one of those things where you need to really, I
think he did good. OP did goodto leave. She did. She did good
to leave. Her father wants toput a blind eye and doesn't want
to see that she has a problem,then let him deal with it.
She shouldn't be there toosuffering. So the top comment
(07:58):
is, no, not the asshole. Youcan't let people like that drag
you down, or else you will besucked into the duration. Grow
your nest egg and find a placein the world that you can make
your own. You can't use a breakfrom what you've been dealing
with.
Take it, give it some time tofind yourself without the guilt,
without the expectations,without knowing if it was greed
(08:20):
or love that was at the root ofyour relationship with your
parents. Good luck. And then OPdid respond to that and said,
Thank you so much. That reallyhit home. I know I needed space
to heal and rebuild and I trulyappreciate the encouragement.
Think this is one of the reasonswhy I like Reddit sometimes
because there's people thatuplift you that have like a good
(08:41):
comment saying you didn't doanything that was selfish. You
did it for yourself and it's notright, you You shouldn't be
feeling selfish for it.
Edgar (08:50):
Yeah.
Erika (08:51):
It's not always a good comment, trust me. There's been
comments that I'm like, oh god.But I think that one was nice.
Would you have done the same ifyou were to have the situation?
Would you have left?
Edgar (09:03):
I would definitely have left.
Erika (09:05):
I think it's just a safe choice, honestly.
Edgar (09:07):
So far the verdict?
Erika (09:09):
Not the asshole. I think she did the right choice.
Edgar (09:12):
So,
Erika (09:15):
the next story is, Emma the asshole for shutting someone
down when they try to talk to meat the gym? So for context, I,
female 32, don't talk to anyoneat my gym outside of saying hi
or bye to the people who workthere. And having polite,
adequate when asking someone ifthey're using something, saying
thank you when they're done,especially for efficiency, but
(09:36):
mostly because I go to the gymstoned AF and I'm on my zone and
I don't want to talk to anyone.Last week after my workout, I
walked over the food carts by mygym to pick up tacos. While I
was there, some guy, 40 male,stopped me and said he went to
the same gym.
I had never noticed him before,but he insisted on walking with
me and talking to me. I was kindof annoyed. Just because you see
(10:00):
me on the street with myheadphones out doesn't mean it's
an invitation to talk to me. Imade small talk and tried to be
polite, got out as quick as Icould. So the other day when I
got to the gym, foam rolling outfoam?
Oh, okay. When I'm at the gym,foam rolling out with my
(10:22):
headphones in, this guy justbeelines to me while I'm trying
to avoid eye contact and squatsdown next to me and says, Hi,
and give me his fist pump. Igive him a quick heads up,
acknowledge him, but ignore thefist pump. Avoid eye contact the
rest of the time I'm there. Andthen today this guy comes to the
gym and sees me.
I immediately avoid eye contact,and he doesn't come to me. So I
(10:43):
think he gets the picture. Butthen when I'm doing leg lifts,
he comes over and tries to giveme a fist pump. So I take out my
headphones and say, Look man, Idon't want to do this. I'm here
to work out.
I'm not here to make friends. Idon't want to talk to you, okay?
And he starts to say, I justwant to say hi. And I respond,
Yeah, I get it. Please don't.
And put my headphones back inand kept working out. I realize
(11:07):
who saw this probably thought Iwas a giant asshole, but I don't
think someone's need forconnection overrides my need to
have a good workout. So am I theasshole?
Edgar (11:18):
No, yeah, she definitely isn't. I think it's funny that
she uses the time to be stonedwhile also lifting, but that's
also a little bit dangerous.
Erika (11:28):
Exactly, I think that's a little bit hazardous there, but
she doesn't need to say hi. Meanshe doesn't need to have a
relationship with anybody if shedoesn't want to. This guy just
wants to, regardless. I think ifyou avoid somebody's contact or
you don't want a fist pump oryou ignore some certain social
cues with somebody, you wouldthink that they would get the
(11:50):
hint.
Edgar (11:51):
Yeah, I'd feel awkward, to be honest, if I tried to make
a move and then was totallyrejected. I wouldn't want to
proceed.
Erika (11:59):
Exactly. It's just she has to just, she did the right
thing. I don't think she needsto apologize for anything. There
is an update. It says, Forpeople saying this would have
been different, he was anattractive guy.
I stumble and get awkward nomatter who it is if the
conversation needs to go beyondmore than a single question or
response. Men, women, children,this isn't a want it or don't
(12:22):
want as much as it's a I'm notin a headspace where I can have
a human conversation. For peoplesaying this is the same type of
person who wonders why guysdon't ask them out, I keep a
little post it note in my gymbag that says, Hi, my name is
and I think you're cute, but Iwant to respect your gym time.
Text me if you want to getcoffee sometime. I've never
(12:43):
given to anyone, but it's thereif I ever feel like I need it.
Anyway, I'm at work. Hopeeveryone's having a great day.
Edgar (12:50):
I think that's Cap, to be honest. If this was like a guy
that she was attracted to, Ithink she would have at least
been a little bit more nicer.Maybe you just say, given them
the note that I don't actuallyexist.
Erika (13:04):
So now you're blaming her because she didn't find the guy
attractive?
Edgar (13:08):
No. If you don't find someone attractive or you don't
want to talk to someone, ifthere's any reason you don't
want to talk to someone, you'refree to just go ahead. Think she
says if she did find the guyattractive, he would've acted
the same way, I don't think shewould have. I think he would
have been nicer at least.
Erika (13:25):
I guess it depends, but maybe the good looking guy knows
when a girl is not interested
Edgar (13:31):
and
Erika (13:31):
left her alone.
Edgar (13:33):
Yeah, but attractive in this case would be like someone
that she is actually attractedto and would want to talk to.
Erika (13:38):
I don't know, you were assuming here. You don't know if
that would be true, but youknow, that's just one of the
things we have.
Edgar (13:44):
I feel like it's a normal response. Like if there's
someone that you like and youwant to talk to, you try to make
it so you talk to them.
Erika (13:51):
According to her, according to her what she has
said
Edgar (13:54):
is The most unreliable person, to be honest. Every OP
is unreliable, TBH.
Erika (14:00):
You're just mad.
Edgar (14:02):
Because in every OP's eyes they see themselves as
angels and everyone else as thevillain. That's why they're
asking why they're the assholebecause they want you to say no.
Erika (14:11):
According to what she's written, she doesn't want to
talk to anybody. And thatincludes anybody attractive,
anybody in there, any children,anybody. She's awkward anyways
with everybody.
Edgar (14:22):
I like how a lot of people who say I'm awkward are
just mean. They're just actuallyrude people.
Erika (14:29):
Wouldn't say that. You're kind of awkward, but you're not
mean.
Edgar (14:32):
But I don't advertise, Hey, I'm awkward. I feel like
people who declare themselvesawkward before they talk to you,
that's like them tempering yourexpectations because they're
usually rude and they knowwhatever it is. They're just
lazy.
Erika (14:45):
Oh, I don't know. I've never had anybody tell me in
person that I'm awkward.
Edgar (14:50):
I feel like I've seen well, I've met a few people who
are like that. They're like, Oh,by the way, I'm awkward. Yeah,
and?
Erika (14:57):
That's so I'm like, How do you even respond to that?
Edgar (15:01):
Exactly. I remember one time I like, I met this chick
and she was like, By the way,I'm autistic. And I'm like,
Yeah, and I know that, and?That's crazy. That's crazy.
Erika (15:13):
Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. I guess there's more
people awkward than than you.Like, you know what mean?
Like, if you
know you're awkward Yeah. And then you
have somebody tell you that, you're like, dang. And I
thought I was awkward. Like, youknow what mean? For me it's
Edgar (15:29):
not a competition.
Erika (15:30):
I know, but like, you reflect, I'm like, dang,
I guess I'm a little better than I thought. Yeah. I
wouldn't even know how torespond to that if somebody came
and tell me, Hey, I'm awkward.I'd be like, I just gave you a
look like, Oh, okay.
Edgar (15:51):
I feel like that just kills the conversation.
Erika (15:54):
Yeah, I feel like the same way if somebody tells me,
oh cries in front of me, I getawkward. I don't know if I can
hug you or if I should say it'sgonna be okay or something. I
feel awkward. That's the sameuncomfortable feeling if
somebody came up to me and said,Hey, I'm awkward. I'd be like,
Yeah.
So the top comment is, not toask, Well, I'm tired of being
(16:19):
forced to be polite and notmaking people uncomfortable even
though they made meuncomfortable. More people need
to be blunt because people don'tseem to understand hints of
unwanted interactions.
Edgar (16:31):
Yeah, agreed.
Erika (16:32):
Yeah, I mean it was three times that he came up to her and
she kept ignoring him.
Edgar (16:36):
I know, yeah. He really wanted to have his bump for some
reason. Yeah. Even thatinteraction in itself, I don't
like it. What do you get out ofa fist bump?
Erika (16:48):
It's like you're trying to be friends or connect or
something.
Not that you're homies, but like, you know,
Edgar (16:56):
I know some people try to be friends before they get into
a relationship or whatever orthey try to be like buddy buddy.
But I think it's like so notmanipulative. Well yeah,
basically manipulative becauseyou're lying about your
intentions just to like in thehopes that something happens.
Erika (17:09):
Well you always told me that guys only want to stay
friends with you because theywant to get with you.
Edgar (17:14):
Exactly. Like you know when we first met, I was very
direct.
Erika (17:19):
Yeah that's true, you were very direct.
Edgar (17:22):
But I feel like people that do that kind of thing are
very like it just starts offwith you not showing your true
intentions out of like cowardiceor out of just being a liar, I
guess.
Erika (17:33):
I feel like you don't want to scare the sheep. I don't
know what say.
Edgar (17:36):
Scared the sheep? I mean, the sheep was scared, they
weren't interested in the firstplace.
Erika (17:44):
I don't know. It's just one of those things where people
take it slow, guess. You're kindof more direct and not everybody
likes that
Edgar (17:52):
or
appreciate
Erika (17:52):
No
Edgar (17:52):
one is capable of it because of the society that we
live in where everyone is justby default not interesting,
awkward, and doesn't talk a lotto people that they don't know
immediately or see often.
Erika (18:08):
Yeah, mean, well, because you have to be open. It's just
to be in a good place withinyourself and able to, you know,
want to share and talk topeople. Maybe people are not in
that time of their life thatthey're just like, Oh, okay,
you're talking too much oryou're too direct and I don't
want to talk to you.
Edgar (18:26):
Yeah, they're in the NPC era.
Erika (18:28):
Oh my god. But anyways, it's just like it's really lucky
when you find somebody that youhave click with and that you're
very, you know, like have a samewavelength and you can talk. I
felt like we were there in thattime when we met. When was it,
five years ago?
Edgar (18:47):
It was a while, yeah.
Erika (18:49):
So what's the final verdict?
Edgar (18:50):
OPs, love interest, A bit of a creep, but yeah, I think
probably about meaning. Butyeah, not entitled to OP's
attention.
Erika (19:01):
Yeah, I thought you were trying to say something else
about her being the asshole,because he wasn't attractive.
Edgar (19:11):
Well I think she was not telling the truth when she said
that if he was attractive, thatshe would have acted the same
way. I think she wouldn't haveacted the same way. Like maybe
ultimately, if he was attractivebut a creep, she would
eventually have went into thissituation, but I think she would
have been a little bit morenicer.
Erika (19:29):
Oh, okay. So, okay. I would agree with that somewhat.
Some people don't care.
Edgar (19:36):
Some people are lying.
Erika (19:39):
Some people don't care about looks. Not always. This is
very I'm saying it's rare, butsome people just don't care
about looks.
Edgar (19:48):
But apparently every single situation is a rare
situation.
Erika (19:53):
What are you talking about?
Edgar (19:55):
I'm just saying.
Erika (19:57):
But you can generalize something and think that
everybody's that way. You can'tdo that either.
Edgar (20:01):
That's called pattern recognition.
Erika (20:04):
But does it mean there's also some outliers that it
happens?
Edgar (20:08):
Yeah, but I don't make the outliers the rule. I don't
have that as my assumption ifthere's an outlier.
Erika (20:14):
Then you're
Edgar (20:14):
literally saying Like imagine, if there's an outlier,
what's the natural situation? Soimagine, so you know how there's
like three leaf clovers and fourleaf clovers?
Erika (20:25):
Yeah.
Edgar (20:25):
So four leaf clovers would be the outliers. If I saw
a four leaf clover once, Iwouldn't be like, Okay, from now
on I can assume that mostclovers are four leaf. No,
because it's an outlier. So it'snot a common situation, it's a
rare situation.
Erika (20:39):
Yeah, but you can't just forget about those rare
situations.
Edgar (20:42):
I could forget about it because it's not something that
happens often.
Erika (20:46):
I'm not gonna forget about those people, okay?
Edgar (20:50):
Was just saying it's a significant or it doesn't even
exist.
Erika (20:53):
Yeah, okay.
Edgar (20:54):
I actually have never seen a forklift clover in
person.
Erika (20:57):
I have. When I was little.
Edgar (20:59):
Yes. So you might have imagined it.
Erika (21:02):
No. Didn't.
Edgar (21:03):
Like the rest of your childhood. I
Erika (21:10):
have. I remember seeing
Edgar (21:12):
picture of it? No. Exactly.
Erika (21:14):
That's when I was little when did I have a phone with
a camera? I'm not kids in this era. I was born in 1993.
Edgar (21:21):
Interesting.
Erika (21:22):
Yeah. Interesting. Okay.
Edgar (21:26):
So, yeah. Final verdict?
Erika (21:28):
I would say that she's not the asshole.
Edgar (21:30):
Yeah, I agree, yeah, she's not the asshole in this
situation.
Erika (21:34):
Yeah. If it was just one time, I would agree, but that
was three times, dude. Come on.
Edgar (21:39):
I feel like she should have been a little bit more
upfront. It's someone you don'twanna talk to. I mean, like,
yeah, be nice if person That'swhat she
Erika (21:44):
was, though. She ignored the fist pump.
Edgar (21:49):
I mean, like, they seem to have, like, had some sort of
rapport, but, yeah, think maybe,like,
Erika (21:53):
feel like They didn't have a rapport. The only reason
that they were together or theyeven it was because he came up
to her saying, Oh, you go to mygym. And she was awkward. She
literally left him. She waslike, Okay, okay, you know, and
then left.
Edgar (22:08):
RIP. Hey, yes, though. Not the asshole. No, definitely
not. The next story is titled,He got bored during a movie I
picked and left the movietheater to watch something else.
Is this break up worthy? I, 30female, went on a movie date
with this guy, 30 male, to seethe new F1 movie. I already felt
(22:31):
like I was already compromisingbecause if I had been, because
if it had just been me, or meplus my friends, I would have
picked Materialist since Iprefer rom coms. What the hell?
I don't know these movies areout.
Yes! About a third of theWayfreen movies, he says he's
bored, pulls up Showtimes on hisphone, and decides he wants to
(22:54):
go watch the new Elio movie onset. But that was Jacob worthy.
That movie sucks ass.
Erika (23:01):
Really? Is that bad? I don't even know anything about I
Edgar (23:04):
was like, what? But I told him to go if that's what he
wanted, So he left, and I stayedand finished the movie by
myself. This is completelyridiculous. I felt disaffected
and kind of stunned. I was theone who chose the movie.
Who does this on a date? Also, Ihate how he likes juvenile
movies. Not to throw shade atanimated films, but I generally
(23:26):
thought Brad Pitt's efflin was agreat movie. He just wasn't
interested. I think this islike, yeah, I mean, it really
depends on how far along therelationship you guys are.
I feel like if I were to dothis, it would be kind of like a
joke, I don't know. You'd bemad, but you wouldn't be breakup
worthy. Would you agree?
Erika (23:45):
Let me think about it.
Edgar (23:46):
So yeah, no, it wouldn't be breakup worthy. But like on
our first date, which just seemsto be the case here, or like a
date where you're getting toknow them still, yeah, I feel
like it's kind of break upworthy. Because that's when
you're supposed to be on yourbest behavior.
Erika (23:59):
Exactly.
Edgar (24:00):
Well, have to be doing things where you're vibing
together.
Erika (24:04):
Or like, you know, lying about who you are. Yeah. Yeah.
No, I wouldn't break up with youif we were dating for so long.
Like, for example, if you leaveme by myself, I would be more
upset.
But if we were with my withfamily or whatever, I'd be like,
yeah, go ahead. Know?
Edgar (24:20):
Yeah. We definitely because we usually watch movies
with the kids.
Erika (24:23):
Yeah. Exactly.
Edgar (24:24):
But, yeah, I mean, Elio of all movies, yeah, that's like
a red flag in itself.
Erika (24:27):
Really? It's that bad?
Edgar (24:28):
I mean, it's just like I feel like a lot Pixar movies
nowadays aren't as good as theyused to be.
Erika (24:33):
I know.
Edgar (24:36):
There are a lot of good ones. I liked Soul, I like or
Luca. But yeah, mean, most ofthem are more like hit than
miss, or miss than hit.
Erika (24:44):
Yeah, I agree. What's the F1 movie?
Edgar (24:48):
I even know that existed.
Erika (24:49):
Me neither. I know Materialist, that's the one that
did Spider no. The Web?
Edgar (24:59):
I don't know. It's it's a movie I never heard of, so it's
probably not that good.
Erika (25:03):
Yeah. No. It wasn't good.
Edgar (25:04):
RIP.
Erika (25:05):
It wasn't good. It got it got really bad bad reviews. But,
anyways, I I want I don't knowwhat the reviews are for my
material is, so I would watchit. Alright. So the top comment
is yeah.
That's pretty rude. It showshe's not concerned whatsoever
about the impressions he made onyou. Wouldn't bother contacting
(25:26):
him again.
Edgar (25:27):
Yeah. It's over for them. But, also, if the guy willing to
do this, he probably wasn't asinterested on OP either.
Erika (25:37):
Yeah, definitely not. He's not interested in you, so I
think you dodged a bullet there,OP.
Edgar (25:43):
Mhmm. I mean, hear a lot about like really like the
dating market now is like prettyterrible in general. I know.
Like I have friends who alwaystell me about the terrible
dates, and I'm like, bro, why?
Erika (25:56):
You're lucky you got me though. Mhmm. Don't give me that
Edgar (25:59):
look. I just think it's a funny time that we're in. This
generation is cooked. No morerelationships.
Erika (26:14):
More cook and Everything's so superficial,
yeah.
Edgar (26:17):
Any sort of close bonds. I feel like it's pretty hard to
come by these days. Becauseeveryone's locked in their
houses usually, or they onlyhang out with friends they know,
or they just are on their phonesperpetually.
Erika (26:31):
Yeah. It's really hard to make a emotional or strong
connection. So I would say thiswas not one of the is not Am I
the Asshole? But I think thedate was an asshole for leaving
her like that.
Edgar (26:49):
Definitely. Yeah. AOP's date. The asshole. Out of
picture.
Erika (26:53):
Bye. Don't ever look back. Mhmm. Alright. So the next
story is they threw a tantrumwhen I wouldn't let their kids
ride my golden retriever.
Edgar (27:03):
Like a horse?
Erika (27:05):
Yeah. So I took my golden retriever Max to a local family
friendly festival last Sunday.It had outdoor booths, live
music, food trucks, kitseverywhere. I kept him on leash
the entire time. He's calm,trained, and used to crowds.
So he was just happily trottingbeside me, soaking up pets from
(27:25):
strangers and stealing attentionlike a pro. At one point, we
were resting near a shadedpicnic area, a group of kids ran
over and started fawning overhim, which was fine, it happens
all the time. Max sat patiently,tail wagging, then their parents
showed up, but instead ofpulling the kids back or
thanking me for letting them petthe dog, they started
(27:46):
positioning one of the kids likehe was about to sit on Max with
one leg lifted like he was aboutto mount a pony. Max stood up,
confused, and backed away. Igently repositioned him and
moved between them, and theparents, visibly annoyed, one of
them even pointed at Max like hewas some kind of prop.
(28:07):
No asking, no eye contact, justan unspoken expectation that
their children were entitled touse my living, breathing pet as
a ride. When they realized Iwasn't going along with it, they
stormed out with the kids,whining. One of the adults
muttered something under theirbreath and shooting glares back
at me like I had ruined theirfamily outing. And Max? I got
(28:27):
him a pop cup later and forgotthe whole thing.
Edgar (28:32):
Mean, OP definitely didn't forget the whole thing if
he read a Reddit post about it.
Erika (28:38):
No, that's frustrating.
Edgar (28:39):
But, ultimately, what were the parents thinking? Like,
dogs, I don't think they havestrong backs like that to hold a
child. No. Especially when achild's one hundred fifty, sixty
pounds.
Erika (28:50):
Exactly.
Edgar (28:50):
You can see that Max was visibly confused and scared and
backing Yeah,
Erika (28:55):
it's not something that happens to him all the time. And
it's just, the entitlement isfrustrating here.
Edgar (29:03):
Definitely teaching those kids to be like a bunch of
little assholes.
Erika (29:08):
Yeah, that's not okay. And then glaring at him like he
did something wrong, excuse me,you're the one doing wrong here.
Nobody should be entitled to do,use, do anything that's not your
property. Like, I don't get it.So the top comment is not the
asshole.
Dogs aren't horses for pity'ssake. That could have harmed
(29:29):
him. Exactly. We don't even knowhow much the kid weighed,
imagine.
Edgar (29:33):
Imagine it was like a fat kid, like two hundred pounds.
Remember that kid, remember
Erika (29:38):
check There's no way.
Edgar (29:39):
Remember in check four, the little kid was like
Erika (29:44):
That's
Edgar (29:45):
what I'm imagining. Definitely. Almost Max.
Erika (29:49):
Oh my gosh.
Edgar (29:50):
I imagine all those kids look like him. I'm gonna be
riding a party.
Erika (29:55):
No, I don't think that's the case, but it just doesn't
make it right for them to justbe like, Hey, I wanna use your
dog. Not even asking, no eyecontact or anything, and say,
Yeah, here you go. That's crazyto me. Entitlement, frustrates.
Edgar (30:14):
I yeah. I feel like we all know those kinds of parents
that let their kids just dowhatever.
Erika (30:19):
They don't know the
Edgar (30:19):
word And like even, yeah, they don't know the word no or
they encourage this. Like theworst kind of parents are the
ones that would encourage thiskind of behavior, you know?
Erika (30:27):
Yeah. It just shows that later in life they're gonna get
hit with a lot of walls.
Edgar (30:35):
Mhmm. Okay, so final verdict?
Erika (30:38):
I would say that he is not the asshole. Poor Megs.
Edgar (30:44):
Mhmm, agreed. The next story is titled, My wife cheated
on me five years ago in thefirst year of our marriage.
Before or after she got pregnantbefore her son, I found out on
Friday. So I know my son ismine. Kids are little mini me
and all ways so no DNA testrequired, but the betrayal
hurts.
(31:05):
Even if it was five years ago,we built a family in that time.
We've had immeasurable ups anddowns since then. Just a few
months ago I told her there wasno battle, we couldn't get
through together, except forthis one. It feels like
everything is crumbling now. Ifeel cold to her.
If I decide to leave, we becomeanother broken family in a world
where love is scarce. If I stay,I don't know if I could ever
(31:28):
truly forgive her. I don't knowif I could still see my loving
wife. I'm truly torn. If she didit twice, she could do it again,
right?
She did it twice?
Erika (31:38):
What is it again?
Edgar (31:42):
If she did it twice, she'd do it again, right? Yeah,
I mean,
Erika (31:44):
it's a pattern.
Edgar (31:45):
Pattern recognition. Then where does that leave me? TLDR
Family stays together by hisfile into God knows what. Family
breaks a cart. Entire family'sfile.
Guess my pain is worthlesscomparing it to. Should that be
my answer? Yeah, so here is theedit. OP added, This is not
(32:09):
about my child. Please stopscreaming DNA tests.
It's not happening. He's indenial. As an adopter, taught
myself, I have no problemraising a child that's not mine.
I think you do actually, but heis mine and you can't change my
mind on that. Also she cheatedwith an ex while I was working
to refurbish hotels out ofstate.
Her reason was I wasn'tcommunicating enough, which I
(32:31):
don't find as a viable reason tobetray her husband, but she did
it twice.
Erika (32:36):
Oh my god, that's why he said earlier on that he cheated
twice.
Edgar (32:40):
That's so crazy.
Erika (32:41):
Dude, why are you with why
did you stay with her?
Edgar (32:46):
I remember seeing this post on Twitter. This chick was
like, a real man stays with awoman who cheats on him. I feel
like this is the kind of advicehe's looking for in the bread.
Someone's like whip him backinto shape, but I don't know. I
feel like his life is over.
He's like, don't want be ageneral statistic. Meanwhile,
he's one of the numbers.
Erika (33:06):
Jeez. He should have left when she first cheated.
Edgar (33:12):
I I guess we need more information, but I don't know if
she's finding out about if he isfinding out about the times she
cheated like now or if she knewearlier. But yeah, seems like
it's been five years.
Erika (33:26):
I think he found out early, like the last one he
mentioned, I think he knew aboutit, but he forgave her. And then
he just found out on Friday,which is recent, this is a day
ago, was posted, that shecheated again.
Edgar (33:40):
RIP.
Erika (33:44):
My gosh.
Edgar (33:45):
That's so, well, if he knows off, I guess.
Erika (33:50):
Yeah, and it sucks because now, what, they have
children? They have a childtogether, so it's not easy to
walk away. Right. Mhmm. Wouldyou walk away?
Edgar (33:59):
Me? Yeah, probably.
Erika (34:02):
And leave a child?
Edgar (34:03):
Yes.
Erika (34:04):
Would you fight for custody? No. Because
you want a DNA test?
Edgar (34:11):
That child not mine. That's not my child.
Erika (34:17):
Oh my gosh, you're hilarious. Okay, let me read the
top comment.
Edgar (34:21):
My lion does not consent himself with a DNA He'd be like,
Do you want to take a DNA test?And they'd be you want to take a
DNA test? And they'd be like,How no?
Erika (34:32):
You're terrible.
What if they end up being your child? Are gonna leave your
child behind?
Edgar (34:38):
The half hoe. A half cheater.
Erika (34:43):
You're some mouse. Anyways, the child has no
Edgar (34:50):
child has a DNA then.
Erika (34:52):
No, no, The child has no fault in this. So you shouldn't
be leaving your child behind.
Edgar (34:57):
Leave your child behind. Have freedom. Escape the matrix.
Erika (35:01):
Oh my gosh. Absolutely not. Anyways, the top comment is
Edgar (35:07):
The government is using your children to keep you in a
slave labor system.
Erika (35:14):
Why? So you don't believe in what do call it? When they
pay? When they pay money? Whatdo you call that?
When the the ex father orwhatever pays money?
It's not playing it.
It's not
playing it
by me.
Edgar (35:30):
What happened?
Erika (35:35):
Just to let you guys know, it's 12AM and he's making
me do this and I'm like not herefully.
Edgar (35:46):
Are you talking about alimony or child
Erika (35:48):
support? Child support!
Edgar (35:49):
That's what it's Right. You can't child support a dead
man.
Erika (35:53):
Oh my gosh. Anyways, I'll continue.
Edgar (35:56):
How can a dead man support a child? Interesting The
Erika (36:01):
top comment is, first piece of advice, DNA test. You
see what you want to see andpeople have a type. This is why
so many people are raising otherpeople's kids. Oh, didn't even
think about that.
Edgar (36:12):
Yeah, because I think in The UK, like one in every five
followers are raising someoneelse's child without knowing.
Erika (36:20):
How do you even know this? I
Edgar (36:23):
saw this somewhere. What? That's I saw this on a Twitter
post. But yeah, can you imaginethat? One in five families.
The dad doesn't know that thechild is not his.
Erika (36:33):
Well, there's always been cases where one of the children
is not the father's.
Edgar (36:37):
Yeah, but one in five? One in five families?
Erika (36:40):
That's insane.
Edgar (36:40):
I can't imagine that here. I mean, don't know the
statistics of that here, but Iknow in UK it's pretty bad.
Erika (36:47):
Wow. A lot of cheating.
Edgar (36:49):
If they have a British accent. They're for the streets.
Erika (36:58):
They're talking about tea and stuff. You gotta run.
I can't, I can't with you. Let me continue with the
comment. Just second, it soundslike you've made your decision,
but you just don't want to breakthe illusion of staying together
is better for the kid. It's not.The mommy and daddy end up
resenting and being cold to eachother and the kid thinks that is
(37:20):
normal relationship as theydon't know mommy or daddy are
only tolerating each other forthem.
And also, it really screws withtheir head when you tell them
twenty years later that you onlystayed together for them. We
would have preferred that youget divorced and try to be happy
as individuals, even if aschildren we would kick and
(37:42):
scream about it?
Edgar (37:44):
I think that a child is just screwed in general because
he either gets the impression ofhow relationships are from her
parents that they don't evenlike each other, or he grows up
without parents to model aproper relationship. So I think
that kid's spawned killed interms of relationships.
Erika (38:04):
Or they end that relationship and she finds
somebody else that's actuallygood for her.
Edgar (38:12):
You're trying to say
Erika (38:13):
the cheater can find a better partner? Oh my bad, I it,
I
it, my bad. I got confused.
Edgar (38:20):
I I feel like in these kind of cases, if all people
were to leave, he's in no mentallike, capacity to take care of
the kids. Like right now he'salready spiraling on a Reddit
post, so imagine the court, howhe's gonna react. He's gonna
like, oh. He's gonna take himaway in a white jacket.
Erika (38:38):
He's gonna need therapy.
Edgar (38:40):
So yeah, mean if he wanted to go with the divorce
he's probably losing the kid.
Erika (38:46):
Probably. Usually the court always goes with the
mother on some circumstances.Yeah. I feel bad for him. OP.
Edgar (38:54):
It's over for him.
Erika (38:55):
You should have left her when she cheated you first the
first time. He wouldn't havemuch kid with her and you could
have left without no ties.
Edgar (39:03):
Yeah.
Erika (39:06):
So I would say she's the asshole for cheating on you.
Edgar (39:11):
And he's the asshole for
Erika (39:12):
saying. No!
Edgar (39:17):
So your final verdict?
Erika (39:19):
I would say that yeah, she's the asshole and he could
just try to do as much as hecan. If he thinks that he's
gonna resent her all his lifeand they're gonna have a
terrible marriage, then he hasto divorce.
Edgar (39:35):
Okay, so the last story is titled, Am I an Asshole for
Being Rude to the Raider andRuining the Dinner? I, 27
female, wins out on a girlsdinner with my best friends,
(twenty six female and 29female). For context, I'm the
only one married, they are notin any committed relationships.
(39:56):
Yesterday we went to have dinnerat a sports barfamily restaurant
where from the moment we arrivedthe waiter, em early mid
twenties, started complimentingus. He kept saying flirty
fudding things.
I ignored him but honestly gaveme such an they were giggling.
After a while as he took outorders he kept refilling our
(40:16):
drinks, he kept saying stufflike that, and I did a sarcastic
laugh. Picture that one meme ofthe dude laughing and getting
serious. I know what meme you'retalking about too.
Erika (40:27):
Yeah we do.
Edgar (40:28):
He left the table and didn't do it again. My friends
told me I was rude to him andthat he was just doing his job
but OMG it was ruining myafternoon and appetite. But now
I'm wondering if I should havejust kept quiet. Am I the
asshole? What is this?
Erika (40:44):
So then she also puts in like examples of what he said,
like the comments he was making.
Edgar (40:49):
Yeah, like he would say, when he first sat us he was
like, I didn't know models werecoming today. And when we were
filling out drinks he said, Imight have put a little special
something on the drinks to getthis party started. And then he
went to check on us. He waslike, How are the cuties
enjoying the food? Another thinghe said was, My 29 female friend
(41:11):
was mid crying, about a recentbreakup she had.
The waiter said, Don't cry forme. I'll be right back. She
didn't laugh that time.
Erika (41:22):
That's so
Edgar (41:23):
I mean, in general, I don't think OP was an asshole
for shooting him down. If you'renot comfortable or if you want
some piece of quiet, you canalways just say something
politely. But yeah, it's reallyup to her. But all these
comments are pretty creepy.
Erika (41:40):
Dude.
Edgar (41:41):
Saying I might put a little something special on the
drinks, like to a bunch ofgirls, like this is just like,
so messed up.
Erika (41:47):
You don't say that. Especially if you're the server.
Mhmm. Even in jokes like that,that's just, you don't say that.
Edgar (41:53):
I know, I mean that's like
Erika (41:54):
could get fired for I
Edgar (41:56):
imagine, yeah. You like implied you roofy them.
Erika (41:58):
Exactly, that's just, that's not funny at all. And
Topcom is not the asshole. Isuspect his manager would be
interested to know that he'smaking roofy jokes to female
customers when he serves themdrinks. If you're about to tell
me that I'm misunderstanding thesomething special in the drink
remark and he was talking aboutalcohol, please instead do some
(42:20):
private reflection on what youbelieve that's better. There are
plenty of identical no he meantthe alcohol comments and a
really robust discussion of fullperspective below that you can
read if you're not sure where tostart.
Yeah, Even if he meant that, hehad a creepy way of saying it.
Edgar (42:40):
Yeah, definitely bad vibes around. I can tell why OP
didn't want to eat, especiallyafter that comment.
Erika (42:47):
Yeah, or didn't want to stay there or fake laughed and
made that meme. But just, shewasn't rude at all. She didn't
feel comfortable and he wasbeing creepy.
Edgar (42:56):
Yeah, I mean, I just find it confusing how their friends
still try to shame OP for beingmean to the waiter. It's because
they're single. Yeah, maybethat, but still I imagine they
feel the same creepiness as OPdid, especially with the drink
joke and with the waiter to thecrying friend saying, Oh yeah.
(43:20):
Like she's making a joke on herbehalf.
Erika (43:23):
Yeah. I mean maybe because they're single they get
hit on a lot or they go to barsand stuff and they have comments
like that all the time, so maybethey're synthesized?
Edgar (43:35):
What do they call it? Desensitized.
Erika (43:37):
Yeah, they're maybe desensitized. Desensitized.
Desensitized. And she wants to,they're used to it. But because
she's, you know, married orwhatever, she hasn't been
through that scene anymore, andso she doesn't think that's
acceptable.
Edgar (43:55):
So
Erika (43:57):
yeah, I mean, it just depends, but I really agree with
her this time, especially withthe comments he was making. I
don't think it's something thatI would feel safe either. I
would talk to the manager,honestly.
Edgar (44:10):
Yes. That's ruined someone's life.
Erika (44:14):
Excuse me. That's not what if one of those people
there were like younger or theywere 18 or they were, you know,
a lot of girls, little girls orwhatever, teenagers now look
like they're older but they'renot. Making comments like that
is just not okay. Trying to youtrying to have victim blame
(44:34):
here? Yeah.
Oh, okay. No, we're not doingthat.
Edgar (44:39):
Yeah. Is it a final verdict?
Erika (44:40):
I would say. You're such a vain. I would say the waiter
is the asshole here. And thefriends. Girl, get
no friends. Get out of there.
Edgar (44:51):
Yeah, you need committed friends. Committed, holy
friends.
Erika (44:55):
What? I was just saying there was no reason for her to
be called out on being rude. Shewasn't. She did what she had to
do. Alright, so that is all thestories we have today.
Thank you for tuning into thisweek's episode. Check out our
website www.yappings.com andjoin our mail list for updates.
(45:16):
If you love our podcast and wantto support us, subscribe and
share to your friends andfamily. We will appreciate it so
much.
Edgar (45:23):
Also, we have a Facebook group called AITA Relationship
and Family Drama linked in thedescription. Join so you can
share M. Dassault posts if youlike or share your own stories
for us all to judge. We may evenread a few posts in one of our
episodes if you're lucky.
Erika (45:39):
Thank you. Bye.
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