September 22, 2025 • 39 mins
This week on The Yapping Schnauzers, Edgar goes solo (Erika’s out sick!) and brings you five of the most yap-worthy r/AITA stories trending on Reddit. From refusing to play teacher about a wheelchair, to a husband clashing with his wife over work priorities, to a mom’s “loving” pasta gesture gone wrong, to a camera-stealing best friend, and even a college drama over being labeled a home-wrecker. These stories are full of conflict, boundaries, and tough choices.
We break them down, laugh, and ask the big question: who’s really the asshole?
👉 Perfect if you love Am I the Asshole podcast episodes, dramatic Reddit reads, or just want a dose of family and relationship chaos straight from Reddit.
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
🎤 Check out Edgar's new app, tini.la, your tiny stage to share your links and grow your email list!
Check out my profile! tini.la/edgar
Links to threads read:
- AITA for not wanting to educate a kid about my wheelchair
- AITA for telling my wife I can't always stop work to do things for her?
- AITA for rejecting my mom's 'loving gesture'?
- AITA for filing a police report on a good friend who stole my boyfriend’s camera
- AITA for yelling at my friend after she implied I was being a homewrecker
~
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:00):
Yapping!
Edgar (00:01):
Hello, this is Edgar and I am one half of the Yapping
Schnauzers. We entertain youwith yap worthy stories we find
around the web. Erica is stillsick and can't speak as well, I
can survive to make her feelbetter. But she's probably
coming back within the next fewepisodes, so stick around for
(00:22):
that.
This week we just chose a bunchof random threads from the most
popular stories onramitheasshole, So hopefully you
guys enjoy! Our first story istitled, Am I The Asshole For Not
Wanting To Educate A Kid AboutMy Wheelchair Hey everyone, I,
39 female, temporarily have touse a wheelchair for longer
(00:45):
distances due to a currentlyundiagnosed issue with my leg.
My PT advised me to use one andmy husband rented a nice small
wheelchair for me. I am able toroll myself, which is a good
workout, and did some trainingin maneuvering in our local
shopping center. I visited asmall zoo last weekend with my
(01:10):
husband.
My husband was getting coffeeand I was waiting outside the
restaurant. A kid aged seven, Idon't know I'm not good with
ages, and his dad got curiousabout my wheelchair. I
understand that kids get curiousand want to ask questions, but I
barely understood why I'm in awheelchair currently and I was
(01:31):
really not in the mood toexplain my issues or be
educational about it. So I justmentioned that sometimes
someone's legs don't work. Queueto more questions and I said I
didn't want to answer morequestions because I was tired.
The kid's dad wasn't pleasedwith the response and mentioned
that it was a good lesson forthe kid. Now I basically wanted
(01:54):
to tell him that I'm not a zooattraction but there was a kid
and I didn't want to make anydrama. Luckily, my husband
showed up with coffee and rolledme away. Kids ask questions
about my wheelchair and I didn'twant to educate the kid about my
wheelchair. His dad did not likethat.
(02:16):
So, am I the asshole for notwanting to educate a kid about
my wheelchair? I wouldn't say,yeah, totally not the asshole.
Like, if anything, it's not thechild. I mean, the child doesn't
know how to act, to be honest.They're still learning, most
children are.
But yet the father being someassistant that, oh you should be
(02:36):
educated- like this would beeducational is a thick move.
There's like no reason foranyone to be obligated to do
anything for you. Especiallylike if it's a total stranger.
OP was nice enough to give likea simple explanation, like a
simple, I don't know if it waskindly worded because I wasn't
(02:58):
there, but like a pleasant orneutral response to a question
by the kid. She handled it thebest that she could, saying, Oh,
I'm just tired and all thatstuff.
But I can imagine, yeah, if youhave kids and they are very
curious or ask a lot ofquestions, that does get pretty
(03:18):
annoying after a while. I meanit's just like part of kids,
anyone that young, they just arevery curious. They want to just
know the things that they don'tknow. And that's not the worst
thing to happen, but a lot oftimes, especially in OP's case,
there are some boundaries thatshould be written down. Like, oh
(03:41):
maybe don't look at someonestrangely and just point out
whatever abnormalities that theyhave.
Like I said earlier, the childis not at fault for that. That's
something that the parents hadto teach the kid so they can be
a little bit more socially awareand not lead to any sort of
(04:04):
drama that happened now in thisstory. The top comment is, The
kid's dad wasn't pleased withthat response and mentioned that
it was a good lesson for thekid. Then why isn't he teaching
his kid? Lots of lessons in thisone.
For instance, learning how torespect a total stranger's
privacy. Learning that justbecause you think you're
(04:25):
entitled to know, you actuallyaren't. And learning that most
times your need to know doesn'ttrump someone else's need to be
left alone, so not the asshole.That kid is entitled, the father
is lazy, who seems happy todelegate his responsibilities to
strangers, which makes him theasshole here. And I totally
(04:47):
agree with all those points.
What the father should have donewas just basically like that.
It's just like, if the kid wantsquestions, especially like your
own child, you should be theone, and you as the parent
believe that it's an importantlesson or something that you
want the child to know. If youreally wanted them to know,
(05:07):
you'd be the one to teach them.That way it's a good lesson for
both the child and yourself as aparent. Because often when
you're teaching, you're formingnew ways to something simply.
It lets you think about it moredeeper or lets you try to find a
(05:28):
way to make it clear to youraudience. Which is why when I
was teaching myself to code, alot of the advice I got online
was if you can just mentorsomebody or teach anyone, that
they don't have to bedrastically more inexperienced
than you, but anyone that's justa few steps behind you, it's
gonna help them and it's gonnahelp you solidify what you do
(05:49):
know. Back to the story, yeah,the father should have been more
proactive about teaching his ownchild this lesson that he taught
was pretty important and notdelegated to some stranger,
which is pretty rude. Finalverdict. OP is not the asshole,
(06:10):
but definitely the parent is.
And the child, yeah, you can saythey're entitled, but I don't
think it's totally their fault.The next story is titled, Am I
the Asshole for Telling My WifeI Can't Always Stop Work to Do
Things for Her? I've worked fromhome since 2020 when the COVID
lockdowns closed my office, andmy employer subsequently
(06:33):
realized we could easily do ourjobs from home without needing
an office at all. It works outvery well because it allows me
to take my kids to school in themorning, come home and start
work, and then pick them up onmy lunch break. My wife works at
an office but her workday startsabout an hour after mine.
A typical day looks like this. Iget up at 06:30AM and get the
(06:57):
kids ready for school. I takethem to school at 07:30AM and I
get home around eight, make somecoffee, and then start my
workday at 08:30AM. During thistime, my wife is still asleep.
We typically go to bed aroundthe same time every night, and
most of the time I also use thattime between eight and 08:30 to
prepare lunch for my wife.
(07:18):
Sometimes either she or Ihaven't packed something the
night before, but if it'ssomething like a sandwich, then
I'll make it fresh right beforeshe leaves. However, I can't
always do this. Today I droppedmy kids off at school when one
of them noticed they forgottheir lunch bag. We live fairly
close so I could go home, grabthe lunch bag, and bring it to
(07:40):
the school for her. This howeverhad me getting home at almost
exactly 08:30 and I've had mywife well aware that this week
is going to be hectic and I willbe swamped with work all week.
So this should have come off asa surprise. My wife, as she
typically does, didn't get outof bed until just a few minutes
before she had to leave, givingher just enough time to get
(08:02):
dressed, do her hair, put onmakeup, read, and head out the
door. She has a history ofhaving problems with punctuality
and has for as long as I'veknown her. She asked me to put
her lunch together because shedidn't have time, but I reminded
her that I was swamped andliterally couldn't spare a
minute, Much less the severalminutes it would take to do all
(08:25):
that. My job is very deadlinebased, so there are times I need
to be working on a certain taskby a certain time and it needs
to be done.
If I don't do my job, many otherpeople can't do theirs and it
would hold up our whole process.I hold a senior position with 10
at my company, so it's unlikelyI'd be fired if I miss a single
(08:49):
deadline, it's but not somethingI want to do if I can help it.
It can be frustrating when sheacts like I can always just drop
what I'm doing. And as she leftshe said, I don't know why you
care so much about this companyyou work for. You should care
more about your family.
And then walked out the door. Ifeel like that's unfair because
I believe I have an excellenttrack record when it comes to
(09:12):
caring about my family. I'veoften thought about asking her
to be the one to get up and takethe kids while I sleep in
sometimes, but I never dobecause in the end I'm glad
she's able to get extra sleepbefore she heads to a job where
she's on her feet all day. Yetsomehow she thinks I am the
asshole for making work apriority in this rare situation.
(09:36):
Is she right?
I empathize with empathize,empathize, I get those words
confused, but yeah, I feel forOP here that he has like a lot
of responsibilities in thisposition and he's able it seems
like he's able to juggle wellenough, like this full time
senior position role, while alsobeing like a decent father and
(09:59):
husband. I would say more thandecent, since he's waking up
super early, going to sleepearly, and also be there for his
children. It's a little bitunfair on the wife's part, but I
mean, this is like a case whereboth OP and his wife should have
some sort of, not boundaries,but more like, just come to an
(10:21):
understanding about the wholesituation. Because I feel like
this doesn't come out of theblue from the wife's end. Like
she doesn't just like, Oh,because it is one instance, I
think that you put your workover your family.
This is probably somethingthat's been bubbling for a while
now and this is just how shefeels about the situation. That
she feels that OP cares aboutwork more than his own family.
(10:45):
But a question for OP's wife,why is he working so hard? What
is this all for? Because Iimagine in a senior position,
it's allowing their family tolive a pretty financially stable
and well off life.
And to work that hard and tofacilitate all that. And he
(11:08):
wants to get a job. Like I knowhe says that he can, he doesn't
miss deadlines, he can afford tomiss like a few of them. And I
mean, if it was like a morepressing emergency, like, oh
something happened at home withlike anyone in his family, I
imagine that would be somethingthat warrants just missing a
(11:32):
deadline for OPay. But forsomething as simple as just
like, oh, I just don't have timefor or something as simple as
making breakfast for your wife,which is one time, like, just
missing out on that because youhave a deadline, it's like
something that just isn't worth,like, using, like, one of your
few brownie points with yourcompany.
(11:54):
I do think they just don't seeeye to eye at the end. And
that's not a divorce bullpenseat all or anything to go to
couples counseling for, but itjust means that they just have
to talk it through and justrealize that even though it
seems like they have differentpriorities, all for the same
common goal, which is that theyhave like a stable family that
(12:14):
is happy and that they arecontinually or that they're
continuing to work as a team. Sothe top comment is not the
asshole. You sound like a greatpartner and parents. I think
your wife is being unreasonable.
She knows she's beingunreasonable and is projecting
that on you. I think you twoshould have a conversation and
(12:34):
let her know how unfair that wasof her to say and how it made
you feel, and things like thatare not okay. Yeah, and that's
basically what I said, like,having this sort of comment
thrown out, yeah, it comes froma bubbling from the wife's end.
But also it shouldn't besomething that is habit. This is
the kind of exchanges that theyhave because it's very toxic for
(12:57):
the relationship.
Even though as a one time thing,not a bad signal for the
relationship, if this becomes ahabit then it would be something
that creates resentment betweenboth OP and the wife. From my
point of view, the wife is beingunreasonable saying all this
(13:18):
when she it seems like she has alittle bit more time waking up
in the morning, which is fine.Not everyone's a morning person.
I'm definitely not a morningperson at all. But yeah, this is
the sort of thing that you justneed to have a one on one
conversation with your partnerjust to make sure that you guys
are on the same page.
I'm sure the wife is probablywas like a little bit grouchy or
(13:41):
has her own issues at work. LikeOP doesn't mention all of the
we're only just getting thisfrom OP's side and not the
wife's side. But still, this issomething that warrants a
discussion. So final verdict.Yeah OP and the wife honestly,
(14:02):
they're not acting as assholesin this situation.
I know OP probably was hurt bythat comment. He seems like he's
giving a lot for the family andfor work, his children and his
wife. To hear that kind ofsucks. But this is like an
opportunity for them to getcloser by just trying to resolve
(14:24):
an issue in an adult and lovingway. So the next story is
titled, Am I the Asshole forRejecting My Mom's Loving
Gesture?
I, autistic adult male, livewith my mother. She works with
cooking while I work at homedoing art. My mother works at a
(14:46):
restaurant that focuses onpastas and noodles and she has
brought home food from work andit's often, you guessed it,
pasta. I don't like pasta, but Iwill eat it if I'm very hungry.
However, I've gotten very tiredof pasta really quick.
I'd say it's on my list ofdisliked foods and she should
know this because I've told hera couple of times already. It's
(15:09):
not like I don't cook, I do. Infact, since she works all day,
I'm the only one who cooks forme and for her when she comes
back from work. She oftentimesdoesn't eat what I made because
she's too tired or because shealready ate at work, and that's
fine by me. Anyways, a few weeksago I told her about how I was
(15:30):
craving some fried rice from theChinese takeout and she told me
she'd bring some one of thesedays.
Well, fast forward to today andshe texts me saying she's at one
of these places that sells friedrice. Then she proceeds to tell
me she wants to order pastainstead of fried rice because
she's not feeling fried ricetoday. And I tell her it's
(15:52):
confusing of her to tell me thatknowing I wanted fried rice and
I'm tired of pasta. And I toldher that's like me telling you I
want donuts and then you walkinto a donut shop and buy me a
cupcake instead. Why?
She got pretty angry at me andstarted saying, Make your choice
already. But what choice? Shedid not give me a choice. And I
(16:16):
mentioned this to her and shewent on about how I'm
ungrateful. It really stung, sowhen she asked me if I still
wanted a pasta, I told her shedidn't need to buy me anything
if she did not want to waste hermoney.
Because during her rant shementioned her money being tight
and I thought this would easethings up. This only made her
more angry and she sent me amessage saying how this was a
(16:40):
loving gesture and howungrateful I am. I hate being
called ungrateful because sheuses it towards me a lot and it
really does hurt me, especiallysince I am autistic and a picky
either. Despite that, I stilleat pasta because whenever she
brings some home, I'm just tiredof it. She has a history of
(17:02):
bringing me things I do not likeand expect me to like it.
It feels like she doesn't knowme at all, even though I am her
son, and I communicated with herabout my likes and dislikes. So,
am I the asshole? Yeah, Ophie.Yeah, you're definitely the
asshole in this one. I'm verygrateful for my family and I
(17:24):
guess I used to be a very pickyeater when I was younger, but
going to college and that entireexperience away from my family
just made me appreciate foodporn.
Because at least right now I seefood as more of an energy thing
first and then second justsomething that is good. But in
in ever college life, you justdon't have a lot of options. So
(17:47):
I just learned to enjoy allfood, veggies included, which I
was definitely not a veggiechild when I was younger. On top
of that as well, parents, theydo a lot for you. Like if you
have a stay at home mom, theyare still doing a lot of work
(18:08):
maintaining that house.
But if you have parents thatalso work, like your parent does
OP, they're doing that and alsothey're cooking for you or
trying to find some way to putfood on your plate in whatever
way they can. Like, sorry thatyou don't like pasta anymore
because you have it every day,but that's like what she is able
(18:31):
to provide at this moment. AndI'm sure she is sick of plastic
as well, but she still eats itbecause it's something for
survival and she's able to bringextra and share it with you
because she cares about you. Soyeah, think of all the other
people who don't have parents,either because they have
(18:53):
strenuous circumstances or theyjust aren't around anymore. I
imagine a lot of those peoplewish they had at least one more
meal or one more day with theirparents.
Another thing I like to pointout too is Opie, your mother
keeps saying that you areungrateful and you say those
things because you don't likebeing called ungrateful. But the
(19:16):
surefire way to not be calledungrateful is if you show some
gratefulness from time to time.So let's read the top comment.
The top comment is, not theasshole. This is weird.
Why couldn't she just get friedrice for you and pasta for
herself? And I mean, yeah, fromwhat I see from all of the
(19:36):
Reddit posts or all the Redditcommenters, it seems like a lot
of them are saying that OP isnot the asshole and OP is in
there right here and they'reasking, Oh, why didn't she just
get pasta? So I feel likethey're maybe not understanding
the situation to be honest. Likethey're all wrong and I'm right
(19:57):
in here. But I don't understandhow they don't see that OP is
working I don't even know ifhe's working from home, because
he seems like he's just doingart.
I imagine he's not bringing anymoney, so the mother is the one
providing for the entire family.Though so ultimately the entire
(20:17):
decision on food and a bunch ofthat stuff, that's not in OP's
control nor should he expect itto be. He can suggest things,
but in cases like this whereObi's mom is clearly tired and
overworked, being a little bitmore empathetic and just saying,
Yeah, and you being moreempathetic and allowing your
(20:41):
parent to help you out the bestthey can would go a long way in
the relationship between OP andhis mother. I I hear a lot of
people who say, Oh, if you evermove back with your parents
after college or after you'vebeen away for so long, that's
like a surefire way to destroyyour relationship with your
(21:01):
parents. And I moved back withmy parents after college and I
did not feel that at all.
If anything, I felt like a lotmore stronger and closer with
them after moving back. So itjust makes me wonder what kind
of situation is going on betweentheir like what kind of friction
could actually be going on. LikeI'm pretty low key and my family
(21:23):
is pretty accommodating andsupportive of me. But also at
the same time, I am back athome, I do feel I owe them me
trying my best to make somethingof myself. So even though I was
at home after college, with nota lot of job prospects, I still
try to be as productive as I canbe.
(21:44):
That's why I went toconstruction and that's why I
studied pretty hard to teachmyself how to code and get into
a much better tech job. I feellike that's the least you can
give to your parents. Have thembe proud of you and be able to
support them when you can. It'sinteresting to think about. Do
(22:07):
you guys think that moving backfrom your parents after having
your freedom and being away fromthem for so long is a bad thing
for that relationship?
Yeah, final verdict. Despitewhat the majority thinks, I
still think that OP is theasshole and his mother would I
say she's a saint? No, I thinkshe probably has her own flaws
(22:28):
and stuff like that, but I thinkshe's trying her best. As a
mother, a loving mother, it'slike a blessing within OP's
life. I hope he realizes thissoon.
So, the next story is titled, AmI the asshole who filing a
police report on a good friendwho was caught on video stealing
my boyfriend's camera at adinner. She has refused to help
(22:51):
me either replace it in full orcontribute to the cost of
replacing it. So that title wasa mouthful. I don't have any
immediate impressions. I areading level of a
kindergartener to your age.
So, more context. We were out todinner one night at an expensive
hotel. My boyfriend let meborrow his Canon G7X1800 camera,
(23:17):
yeah fancy camera, to bring totake pictures with my friends.
At the conclusion of the dinner,I went up to the room and
realized the camera was gone. Iwent back right down to the
table and no one had seen it.
I immediately got with hotelsecurity and she is on video,
clear as day, swiping the camerawhen my back was turned and
shoving it in her purse. Icovered for her initially with
(23:41):
my friend and contacted her tofind a resolution. She had taken
the camera with her and my otherfriend to a club after dinner,
which I did not attend and lostthere. Her background, this is
my good college friend who Iknow very well. The camera thief
by the way.
And she has been taking on freetrips to Coachella and St.
(24:04):
Barthes on my dime. Not kidding.As well as many other things. We
have done a lot of thingstogether and are good friends so
I expected her to feel sorry.
Initially she lied, saying shedidn't have it. When I told her
we have her on video, sheconfessed and said she took it
(24:25):
but lost it at the next bar shewent to with my other friends.
It is now gone. I asked her tohelp me replace it with
splitting it with me on thecost. She had refused all
measures or resolutions and nowI feel like I have nothing left
to do but file a police reportand let them handle it.
(24:46):
It is impacting my relationshipand I am furious my friend is
not helping at all. Why should Ibe on the hook for something she
stole? I have given her threeweeks to help me resolve this
and she insists she is going todo nothing. I am being pressed
by my boyfriend to eitherreplace the camera or help him
follow a report with her infoand the footage. I even asked
(25:09):
her to just throw in half orless than half the cost to help,
but she still refuses.
I do not want her to get introuble, but I'm at the point
where I feel she just doesn'treally care. So those are a few
updates I'll read back to back.I sent her a text this morning
telling her, If I do not receivea full cost of the camera or
(25:31):
shipping confirmation of a newcamera from an approved vendor
to provide an address by the endof the day Friday, we will be
filing a report with this policeSaturday. I felt like an asshole
typing this out to her but Ihave to do it. And she told me
she is sick of me and that Iwill be receiving a tracking
number by twelve eastern onFriday and not to blame her as
(25:53):
the package is never received.
I told her if she was my realfriend, she would be sorry and
in no way will it allow this tobe flipped on me. Should I ask
if the camera is new or is theone that disappeared?
Interesting. I mean, I don'tbelieve that the camera would be
gone. I mean, can believe it ifthey were drunk enough, but
(26:14):
definitely this other chick is ashady character, I wouldn't put
it past her.
She could have just pretended tohave lost it but have it in or
out somewhere. She sent me atracking number via FedEx. It
says that it's awaitingpackaging. I ask her repeatedly
if she is sending me theoriginal camera, assuming it
magically turned up, or a newone. She refuses to answer and
(26:38):
only tells me to stop botheringher.
And the final update, I am moreand more convinced my friend,
the camera thief, took thecamera hoping that I would just
replace it for my boyfriend,gifting her a free camera. For
background, this friend isheavily involved on Instagram
and loves taking pictures. TheCanon G7 is coveted by women
(26:58):
because it is known as theInstagram camera. Even if you
wanted to buy one at full price,they are always out of stock
everywhere. Let's hope it getsreturned with this tracking
number.
FedEx still says awaitingpackage even though shipping
info was sent to them yesterday.So I mentioned this happened
over the course of a week. Firstoff, I wanna see how expensive
(27:22):
this camera is. Looks like it'salmost $2,000. So yeah,
basically grand larceny ifcharges would have ended up
being filed, which is what Ithink OP should have done.
Giving because I feel like hewas very loose with her friend.
(27:44):
Very forgiving for I mean, Iguess, I imagine this is a
pretty one-sided relationshipgiven the context and given
everything that we've read toyou so far. It just seems like
OP's friend doesn't even careabout her. She just sees her as
some sort of free piggy bank. OPkind of brought it upon herself
(28:05):
by being like a doormat for solong.
Now her relationship is on theline, which I mean, since it's a
very expensive camera, canimagine the boyfriend's freaking
out right now. But that's justwhat happens when you put your
trust on the wrong people. AndOP's friend, or now ex friend,
is definitely a pretty badperson. Like he's lying,
(28:28):
stealing the camera outright,and again lying when there's
photographic video evidence. Andthen to act that way, to act so
negatively and annoyed that youwere caught stealing a very
expensive camera after thatfriend that you stole the camera
(28:49):
from has been giving you freetrips and free vacations.
It just shows an ungratefulnessthat think Opie should just cut
off after this. Which I'm surethere's no salvaging this
relationship. So yeah, the topcomment is, You're the asshole.
(29:10):
Is there a reason you aren'tchoosing your feeding friend
over your boyfriend? She made itclear she's not your friend and
that she's not going to makethings right.
This police report should havebeen filed the moment she said
she wasn't going to pay for it.If I were your boyfriend I would
be reconsidering therelationship with you over this.
You're dragging your feet tomake this right and get the
(29:34):
report made and replace thiscamera. I mean definitely a
police report should be filed ifthe camera never comes. OP's
friend said, Oh don't besurprised we don't get anything.
That just screams that she'sprobably doing something fishy
around this whole package thing,this whole FedEx thing that
(29:56):
she's trying to send to OP. Idon't think Opie's an asshole
though. Like, sure like, like,from her perspective, this is
her best friend or one of herclosest friends. Cashes her
stealing and maybe they're soclose where she just wants to
(30:16):
give this one friend that sheassumes is like a good friend of
hers as well. Guess she doesn'tsee it for herself that this is
one-sided.
But she assumes it's a mutual,they're both close friends. I'm
sure she just wanted to say, Oh,I just want to forgive you this
one time. I guess she justdidn't want to break it off
(30:38):
immediately there. She didn'twant to have her best friend be
in so much trouble over this.But ultimately, I'm pretty sure
she sees that camera's eithernot coming or she's going to
have to go for illegal routes toget the camera back.
(30:58):
Like I, yeah, understand theboyfriend being upset over
losing this, but this isn'tsomething that I would say is
worth breaking up for. Becausethis ultimately this is just a
thing. It's just like a you losta very expensive thing, but it's
just like things and thatshouldn't be put over your own
(31:19):
relationship. Oh and then onemore thing too I wanted to add.
OP's or at least to Fred orReddit in general, when you get
outside opinions, yeah they'repretty detached from the
situation so that's why theyhindsight is twentytwenty.
The commenter is saying that sheshould have just throw the book
(31:43):
at her friend day one. Yeah,mean that's obvious now. OP If
knew the entire dynamics of thisfriendship that she has with
this one person. If she knewthat from the get go, yeah. She
probably would have just calledthe police in the first chance
they could have gotten.
(32:06):
Realistically, there's just likea lot of things that are going
on moment to moment that thecommenters aren't really picking
up on or applying to the case. Ithink OP is doing the best she
could. Now she has to basicallymake more harder decisions with
(32:29):
the police rapport and how togracefully end the friendship
with one person. Yeah, for mypride and verdict, I wouldn't
say OP is the asshole. But I saythe boyfriend's the asshole.
Not really. You're more upset,rightfully upset about losing a
(32:50):
very expensive camera. Butdefinitely OP's friend is a huge
asshole in this situation. Justthe amount of ungratefulness and
the blatant stealing, It's justlike, this is so much
disrespect. Imagine it's like soand it just comes to show you
(33:11):
that you're never betrayed byenemies, you're betrayed by
friends.
The final story is titled, Am Ithe Asshole for yelling my
friend out for implying I wastrying to be a homewrecker. So
I, 19 female, am in a groupproject with four other people.
(33:31):
Only two are important, myfriend and there is one guy from
our group. The guy and the othertwo live off campus and drive.
Me and my friend both live inthe dorms and we do not drive.
We had to meet off campus forthe project and the guy offered
to drive both of us and meet theothers there as it made the most
(33:51):
sense. When we were in his car Iwas shotgunned and my friend was
in the back and he drives asmall two door so we're all
super close to each other. Iflipped down the sun blocker to
use the mirror and a pull awayof him and his girlfriend was
clipped to the sunshade. And Isaid, oh that's cute. Is that
your girlfriend?
(34:12):
And he said yes. And he flippedhis own sunshade down to reveal
another picture. I said Awthat's so sweet. And I tried to
be friendly and make small talk.I would be working with him for
at least the next month.
I started asking about hisgirlfriend. Oh how long have you
guys been together? How'd youmeet? Did she go to talk
college? Etc.
(34:32):
I thought nothing of it until myfriend asked me what the hell
that was later. And I asked whatshe meant by that and she said
that I was clearly being weird.I told her that I didn't
understand and she asked if Iwould be asking all of this if
his girlfriend was in the car.And I said no. I probably asked
her instead and I told her Ididn't see her point.
(34:55):
I didn't ask her if she wantedto just never talk to our group
mates and the teacher wasn'treally clear on how future
projects would work. Thesegroups were randomized and he
implied that we might keep thesegroups for other projects as
well. However, I am unsure. Soshe said, yeah, obviously you
can get to know them but don'task questions about his
girlfriend like that and used aweird tone like you were
(35:17):
flirting and that is kind ofdisgusting. And I told her that
she could get out of here withthat stupid shit and that it
wasn't that serious.
And she told me that she was nowfurther considering I was trying
to be a home wrecker. And wehave only talked about the
project at this point and it'sonly been a few days. And I'm
reconsidering how mean I was toher. It was something somewhat
(35:40):
trivial. So I do not know whereOpie's friend is coming from
with this.
Like, I didn't feel like thiswas a pretty normal reaction
when you're just talking tosomebody. Like usually when
you're talking to a stranger orsomeone you don't know too well,
you either say something, you dosome sort of small talk to get a
feel for their vibes. And ifthere's anything you can hold
(36:02):
onto to keep a conversationgoing and to just build rapport,
it's normal to just go intothat. And from this case, I hope
you saw that my groupmate has agirlfriend and I imagine this is
one of the few things that hewould like to talk about or is
(36:23):
very excited about talkingabout. So of course, just ask
questions about that.
So I think this is like a verynormal kind of conversation that
you can have with a strangerthat you just met or know very
little about. I think OP'sfriend's response is more like,
it seems like an untrusting kindof signal that she has. Maybe
(36:45):
she originally feels like peopleshouldn't talk about, I guess,
private manners. I guessdepending on how someone sees
it, like a relationship, like arelationship status could be a
private matter. And it's basedall on comfort and stuff.
Like obviously OP and hergroupmate, they're comfortable
(37:07):
enough to talk about this sortof things openly, but Opie's
other friend, or the friend thatshe's closer with, sees
otherwise. Calling Opie a hopemarker over this, I feel like
it's a huge jump in logic.Definitely, to you're seduce
someone else, I wouldn't just betalking about their significant
(37:28):
other. I feel like that was justI don't know. That's just not a
way that for me, I can't reallyfigure out a way to put A and B
together.
We're talking about who someoneis dating is gonna make them
somehow like me more instead. Iguess this doesn't make sense.
But yeah, let's go to the topcomment. The top comment is, You
(37:50):
were trying to make politeconversations. Your friend was
trying to stir shit, not theasshole.
And yeah, simply said, I think,you know, homebrew comment is
very uncalled for. Especiallyfrom your own friend, which I
guess says a lot about thatfriend at least. And I think
yeah, when you're in college orhigh school, a lot of people you
(38:11):
know and me befriend. I feellike a lot of those things kind
of switch up pretty easilydepending the situation. So
final verdict.
OP definitely is not theasshole. Neither is a group
mate. They're both just tryingto be regular average people.
But it's probably something notdeeply wrong, but something like
some slight worldview or likesocial issue for OP's friend or
(38:36):
ex friend now. So that's all thestories we have today.
Thank you for tuning into thisweek's episode. Check out our
website www.yappings.com andjoin our mailing list for
updates. If you love our podcastand want to support us,
subscribe and share to yourfriends and family. We would
appreciate this so much. Andalso we have a Facebook group
(39:00):
called AITA Relationship andFamily Drama linked in the
description.
Join us so you can share Am Ithe asshole posts you like or
share your own stories with usall to judge. We may even read a
few posts in one of ourepisodes. Thank you. Bye.
Yapping!
Edgar (00:01):
Hello, this is Edgar and I am one half of the Yapping
Schnauzers. We entertain youwith yap worthy stories we find
around the web. Erica is stillsick and can't speak as well, I
can survive to make her feelbetter. But she's probably
coming back within the next fewepisodes, so stick around for
(00:22):
that.
This week we just chose a bunchof random threads from the most
popular stories onramitheasshole, So hopefully you
guys enjoy! Our first story istitled, Am I The Asshole For Not
Wanting To Educate A Kid AboutMy Wheelchair Hey everyone, I,
39 female, temporarily have touse a wheelchair for longer
(00:45):
distances due to a currentlyundiagnosed issue with my leg.
My PT advised me to use one andmy husband rented a nice small
wheelchair for me. I am able toroll myself, which is a good
workout, and did some trainingin maneuvering in our local
shopping center. I visited asmall zoo last weekend with my
(01:10):
husband.
My husband was getting coffeeand I was waiting outside the
restaurant. A kid aged seven, Idon't know I'm not good with
ages, and his dad got curiousabout my wheelchair. I
understand that kids get curiousand want to ask questions, but I
barely understood why I'm in awheelchair currently and I was
(01:31):
really not in the mood toexplain my issues or be
educational about it. So I justmentioned that sometimes
someone's legs don't work. Queueto more questions and I said I
didn't want to answer morequestions because I was tired.
The kid's dad wasn't pleasedwith the response and mentioned
that it was a good lesson forthe kid. Now I basically wanted
(01:54):
to tell him that I'm not a zooattraction but there was a kid
and I didn't want to make anydrama. Luckily, my husband
showed up with coffee and rolledme away. Kids ask questions
about my wheelchair and I didn'twant to educate the kid about my
wheelchair. His dad did not likethat.
(02:16):
So, am I the asshole for notwanting to educate a kid about
my wheelchair? I wouldn't say,yeah, totally not the asshole.
Like, if anything, it's not thechild. I mean, the child doesn't
know how to act, to be honest.They're still learning, most
children are.
But yet the father being someassistant that, oh you should be
(02:36):
educated- like this would beeducational is a thick move.
There's like no reason foranyone to be obligated to do
anything for you. Especiallylike if it's a total stranger.
OP was nice enough to give likea simple explanation, like a
simple, I don't know if it waskindly worded because I wasn't
(02:58):
there, but like a pleasant orneutral response to a question
by the kid. She handled it thebest that she could, saying, Oh,
I'm just tired and all thatstuff.
But I can imagine, yeah, if youhave kids and they are very
curious or ask a lot ofquestions, that does get pretty
(03:18):
annoying after a while. I meanit's just like part of kids,
anyone that young, they just arevery curious. They want to just
know the things that they don'tknow. And that's not the worst
thing to happen, but a lot oftimes, especially in OP's case,
there are some boundaries thatshould be written down. Like, oh
(03:41):
maybe don't look at someonestrangely and just point out
whatever abnormalities that theyhave.
Like I said earlier, the childis not at fault for that. That's
something that the parents hadto teach the kid so they can be
a little bit more socially awareand not lead to any sort of
(04:04):
drama that happened now in thisstory. The top comment is, The
kid's dad wasn't pleased withthat response and mentioned that
it was a good lesson for thekid. Then why isn't he teaching
his kid? Lots of lessons in thisone.
For instance, learning how torespect a total stranger's
privacy. Learning that justbecause you think you're
(04:25):
entitled to know, you actuallyaren't. And learning that most
times your need to know doesn'ttrump someone else's need to be
left alone, so not the asshole.That kid is entitled, the father
is lazy, who seems happy todelegate his responsibilities to
strangers, which makes him theasshole here. And I totally
(04:47):
agree with all those points.
What the father should have donewas just basically like that.
It's just like, if the kid wantsquestions, especially like your
own child, you should be theone, and you as the parent
believe that it's an importantlesson or something that you
want the child to know. If youreally wanted them to know,
(05:07):
you'd be the one to teach them.That way it's a good lesson for
both the child and yourself as aparent. Because often when
you're teaching, you're formingnew ways to something simply.
It lets you think about it moredeeper or lets you try to find a
(05:28):
way to make it clear to youraudience. Which is why when I
was teaching myself to code, alot of the advice I got online
was if you can just mentorsomebody or teach anyone, that
they don't have to bedrastically more inexperienced
than you, but anyone that's justa few steps behind you, it's
gonna help them and it's gonnahelp you solidify what you do
(05:49):
know. Back to the story, yeah,the father should have been more
proactive about teaching his ownchild this lesson that he taught
was pretty important and notdelegated to some stranger,
which is pretty rude. Finalverdict. OP is not the asshole,
(06:10):
but definitely the parent is.
And the child, yeah, you can saythey're entitled, but I don't
think it's totally their fault.The next story is titled, Am I
the Asshole for Telling My WifeI Can't Always Stop Work to Do
Things for Her? I've worked fromhome since 2020 when the COVID
lockdowns closed my office, andmy employer subsequently
(06:33):
realized we could easily do ourjobs from home without needing
an office at all. It works outvery well because it allows me
to take my kids to school in themorning, come home and start
work, and then pick them up onmy lunch break. My wife works at
an office but her workday startsabout an hour after mine.
A typical day looks like this. Iget up at 06:30AM and get the
(06:57):
kids ready for school. I takethem to school at 07:30AM and I
get home around eight, make somecoffee, and then start my
workday at 08:30AM. During thistime, my wife is still asleep.
We typically go to bed aroundthe same time every night, and
most of the time I also use thattime between eight and 08:30 to
prepare lunch for my wife.
(07:18):
Sometimes either she or Ihaven't packed something the
night before, but if it'ssomething like a sandwich, then
I'll make it fresh right beforeshe leaves. However, I can't
always do this. Today I droppedmy kids off at school when one
of them noticed they forgottheir lunch bag. We live fairly
close so I could go home, grabthe lunch bag, and bring it to
(07:40):
the school for her. This howeverhad me getting home at almost
exactly 08:30 and I've had mywife well aware that this week
is going to be hectic and I willbe swamped with work all week.
So this should have come off asa surprise. My wife, as she
typically does, didn't get outof bed until just a few minutes
before she had to leave, givingher just enough time to get
(08:02):
dressed, do her hair, put onmakeup, read, and head out the
door. She has a history ofhaving problems with punctuality
and has for as long as I'veknown her. She asked me to put
her lunch together because shedidn't have time, but I reminded
her that I was swamped andliterally couldn't spare a
minute, Much less the severalminutes it would take to do all
(08:25):
that. My job is very deadlinebased, so there are times I need
to be working on a certain taskby a certain time and it needs
to be done.
If I don't do my job, many otherpeople can't do theirs and it
would hold up our whole process.I hold a senior position with 10
at my company, so it's unlikelyI'd be fired if I miss a single
(08:49):
deadline, it's but not somethingI want to do if I can help it.
It can be frustrating when sheacts like I can always just drop
what I'm doing. And as she leftshe said, I don't know why you
care so much about this companyyou work for. You should care
more about your family.
And then walked out the door. Ifeel like that's unfair because
I believe I have an excellenttrack record when it comes to
(09:12):
caring about my family. I'veoften thought about asking her
to be the one to get up and takethe kids while I sleep in
sometimes, but I never dobecause in the end I'm glad
she's able to get extra sleepbefore she heads to a job where
she's on her feet all day. Yetsomehow she thinks I am the
asshole for making work apriority in this rare situation.
(09:36):
Is she right?
I empathize with empathize,empathize, I get those words
confused, but yeah, I feel forOP here that he has like a lot
of responsibilities in thisposition and he's able it seems
like he's able to juggle wellenough, like this full time
senior position role, while alsobeing like a decent father and
(09:59):
husband. I would say more thandecent, since he's waking up
super early, going to sleepearly, and also be there for his
children. It's a little bitunfair on the wife's part, but I
mean, this is like a case whereboth OP and his wife should have
some sort of, not boundaries,but more like, just come to an
(10:21):
understanding about the wholesituation. Because I feel like
this doesn't come out of theblue from the wife's end. Like
she doesn't just like, Oh,because it is one instance, I
think that you put your workover your family.
This is probably somethingthat's been bubbling for a while
now and this is just how shefeels about the situation. That
she feels that OP cares aboutwork more than his own family.
(10:45):
But a question for OP's wife,why is he working so hard? What
is this all for? Because Iimagine in a senior position,
it's allowing their family tolive a pretty financially stable
and well off life.
And to work that hard and tofacilitate all that. And he
(11:08):
wants to get a job. Like I knowhe says that he can, he doesn't
miss deadlines, he can afford tomiss like a few of them. And I
mean, if it was like a morepressing emergency, like, oh
something happened at home withlike anyone in his family, I
imagine that would be somethingthat warrants just missing a
(11:32):
deadline for OPay. But forsomething as simple as just
like, oh, I just don't have timefor or something as simple as
making breakfast for your wife,which is one time, like, just
missing out on that because youhave a deadline, it's like
something that just isn't worth,like, using, like, one of your
few brownie points with yourcompany.
(11:54):
I do think they just don't seeeye to eye at the end. And
that's not a divorce bullpenseat all or anything to go to
couples counseling for, but itjust means that they just have
to talk it through and justrealize that even though it
seems like they have differentpriorities, all for the same
common goal, which is that theyhave like a stable family that
(12:14):
is happy and that they arecontinually or that they're
continuing to work as a team. Sothe top comment is not the
asshole. You sound like a greatpartner and parents. I think
your wife is being unreasonable.
She knows she's beingunreasonable and is projecting
that on you. I think you twoshould have a conversation and
(12:34):
let her know how unfair that wasof her to say and how it made
you feel, and things like thatare not okay. Yeah, and that's
basically what I said, like,having this sort of comment
thrown out, yeah, it comes froma bubbling from the wife's end.
But also it shouldn't besomething that is habit. This is
the kind of exchanges that theyhave because it's very toxic for
(12:57):
the relationship.
Even though as a one time thing,not a bad signal for the
relationship, if this becomes ahabit then it would be something
that creates resentment betweenboth OP and the wife. From my
point of view, the wife is beingunreasonable saying all this
(13:18):
when she it seems like she has alittle bit more time waking up
in the morning, which is fine.Not everyone's a morning person.
I'm definitely not a morningperson at all. But yeah, this is
the sort of thing that you justneed to have a one on one
conversation with your partnerjust to make sure that you guys
are on the same page.
I'm sure the wife is probablywas like a little bit grouchy or
(13:41):
has her own issues at work. LikeOP doesn't mention all of the
we're only just getting thisfrom OP's side and not the
wife's side. But still, this issomething that warrants a
discussion. So final verdict.Yeah OP and the wife honestly,
(14:02):
they're not acting as assholesin this situation.
I know OP probably was hurt bythat comment. He seems like he's
giving a lot for the family andfor work, his children and his
wife. To hear that kind ofsucks. But this is like an
opportunity for them to getcloser by just trying to resolve
(14:24):
an issue in an adult and lovingway. So the next story is
titled, Am I the Asshole forRejecting My Mom's Loving
Gesture?
I, autistic adult male, livewith my mother. She works with
cooking while I work at homedoing art. My mother works at a
(14:46):
restaurant that focuses onpastas and noodles and she has
brought home food from work andit's often, you guessed it,
pasta. I don't like pasta, but Iwill eat it if I'm very hungry.
However, I've gotten very tiredof pasta really quick.
I'd say it's on my list ofdisliked foods and she should
know this because I've told hera couple of times already. It's
(15:09):
not like I don't cook, I do. Infact, since she works all day,
I'm the only one who cooks forme and for her when she comes
back from work. She oftentimesdoesn't eat what I made because
she's too tired or because shealready ate at work, and that's
fine by me. Anyways, a few weeksago I told her about how I was
(15:30):
craving some fried rice from theChinese takeout and she told me
she'd bring some one of thesedays.
Well, fast forward to today andshe texts me saying she's at one
of these places that sells friedrice. Then she proceeds to tell
me she wants to order pastainstead of fried rice because
she's not feeling fried ricetoday. And I tell her it's
(15:52):
confusing of her to tell me thatknowing I wanted fried rice and
I'm tired of pasta. And I toldher that's like me telling you I
want donuts and then you walkinto a donut shop and buy me a
cupcake instead. Why?
She got pretty angry at me andstarted saying, Make your choice
already. But what choice? Shedid not give me a choice. And I
(16:16):
mentioned this to her and shewent on about how I'm
ungrateful. It really stung, sowhen she asked me if I still
wanted a pasta, I told her shedidn't need to buy me anything
if she did not want to waste hermoney.
Because during her rant shementioned her money being tight
and I thought this would easethings up. This only made her
more angry and she sent me amessage saying how this was a
(16:40):
loving gesture and howungrateful I am. I hate being
called ungrateful because sheuses it towards me a lot and it
really does hurt me, especiallysince I am autistic and a picky
either. Despite that, I stilleat pasta because whenever she
brings some home, I'm just tiredof it. She has a history of
(17:02):
bringing me things I do not likeand expect me to like it.
It feels like she doesn't knowme at all, even though I am her
son, and I communicated with herabout my likes and dislikes. So,
am I the asshole? Yeah, Ophie.Yeah, you're definitely the
asshole in this one. I'm verygrateful for my family and I
(17:24):
guess I used to be a very pickyeater when I was younger, but
going to college and that entireexperience away from my family
just made me appreciate foodporn.
Because at least right now I seefood as more of an energy thing
first and then second justsomething that is good. But in
in ever college life, you justdon't have a lot of options. So
(17:47):
I just learned to enjoy allfood, veggies included, which I
was definitely not a veggiechild when I was younger. On top
of that as well, parents, theydo a lot for you. Like if you
have a stay at home mom, theyare still doing a lot of work
(18:08):
maintaining that house.
But if you have parents thatalso work, like your parent does
OP, they're doing that and alsothey're cooking for you or
trying to find some way to putfood on your plate in whatever
way they can. Like, sorry thatyou don't like pasta anymore
because you have it every day,but that's like what she is able
(18:31):
to provide at this moment. AndI'm sure she is sick of plastic
as well, but she still eats itbecause it's something for
survival and she's able to bringextra and share it with you
because she cares about you. Soyeah, think of all the other
people who don't have parents,either because they have
(18:53):
strenuous circumstances or theyjust aren't around anymore. I
imagine a lot of those peoplewish they had at least one more
meal or one more day with theirparents.
Another thing I like to pointout too is Opie, your mother
keeps saying that you areungrateful and you say those
things because you don't likebeing called ungrateful. But the
(19:16):
surefire way to not be calledungrateful is if you show some
gratefulness from time to time.So let's read the top comment.
The top comment is, not theasshole. This is weird.
Why couldn't she just get friedrice for you and pasta for
herself? And I mean, yeah, fromwhat I see from all of the
(19:36):
Reddit posts or all the Redditcommenters, it seems like a lot
of them are saying that OP isnot the asshole and OP is in
there right here and they'reasking, Oh, why didn't she just
get pasta? So I feel likethey're maybe not understanding
the situation to be honest. Likethey're all wrong and I'm right
(19:57):
in here. But I don't understandhow they don't see that OP is
working I don't even know ifhe's working from home, because
he seems like he's just doingart.
I imagine he's not bringing anymoney, so the mother is the one
providing for the entire family.Though so ultimately the entire
(20:17):
decision on food and a bunch ofthat stuff, that's not in OP's
control nor should he expect itto be. He can suggest things,
but in cases like this whereObi's mom is clearly tired and
overworked, being a little bitmore empathetic and just saying,
Yeah, and you being moreempathetic and allowing your
(20:41):
parent to help you out the bestthey can would go a long way in
the relationship between OP andhis mother. I I hear a lot of
people who say, Oh, if you evermove back with your parents
after college or after you'vebeen away for so long, that's
like a surefire way to destroyyour relationship with your
(21:01):
parents. And I moved back withmy parents after college and I
did not feel that at all.
If anything, I felt like a lotmore stronger and closer with
them after moving back. So itjust makes me wonder what kind
of situation is going on betweentheir like what kind of friction
could actually be going on. LikeI'm pretty low key and my family
(21:23):
is pretty accommodating andsupportive of me. But also at
the same time, I am back athome, I do feel I owe them me
trying my best to make somethingof myself. So even though I was
at home after college, with nota lot of job prospects, I still
try to be as productive as I canbe.
(21:44):
That's why I went toconstruction and that's why I
studied pretty hard to teachmyself how to code and get into
a much better tech job. I feellike that's the least you can
give to your parents. Have thembe proud of you and be able to
support them when you can. It'sinteresting to think about. Do
(22:07):
you guys think that moving backfrom your parents after having
your freedom and being away fromthem for so long is a bad thing
for that relationship?
Yeah, final verdict. Despitewhat the majority thinks, I
still think that OP is theasshole and his mother would I
say she's a saint? No, I thinkshe probably has her own flaws
(22:28):
and stuff like that, but I thinkshe's trying her best. As a
mother, a loving mother, it'slike a blessing within OP's
life. I hope he realizes thissoon.
So, the next story is titled, AmI the asshole who filing a
police report on a good friendwho was caught on video stealing
my boyfriend's camera at adinner. She has refused to help
(22:51):
me either replace it in full orcontribute to the cost of
replacing it. So that title wasa mouthful. I don't have any
immediate impressions. I areading level of a
kindergartener to your age.
So, more context. We were out todinner one night at an expensive
hotel. My boyfriend let meborrow his Canon G7X1800 camera,
(23:17):
yeah fancy camera, to bring totake pictures with my friends.
At the conclusion of the dinner,I went up to the room and
realized the camera was gone. Iwent back right down to the
table and no one had seen it.
I immediately got with hotelsecurity and she is on video,
clear as day, swiping the camerawhen my back was turned and
shoving it in her purse. Icovered for her initially with
(23:41):
my friend and contacted her tofind a resolution. She had taken
the camera with her and my otherfriend to a club after dinner,
which I did not attend and lostthere. Her background, this is
my good college friend who Iknow very well. The camera thief
by the way.
And she has been taking on freetrips to Coachella and St.
(24:04):
Barthes on my dime. Not kidding.As well as many other things. We
have done a lot of thingstogether and are good friends so
I expected her to feel sorry.
Initially she lied, saying shedidn't have it. When I told her
we have her on video, sheconfessed and said she took it
(24:25):
but lost it at the next bar shewent to with my other friends.
It is now gone. I asked her tohelp me replace it with
splitting it with me on thecost. She had refused all
measures or resolutions and nowI feel like I have nothing left
to do but file a police reportand let them handle it.
(24:46):
It is impacting my relationshipand I am furious my friend is
not helping at all. Why should Ibe on the hook for something she
stole? I have given her threeweeks to help me resolve this
and she insists she is going todo nothing. I am being pressed
by my boyfriend to eitherreplace the camera or help him
follow a report with her infoand the footage. I even asked
(25:09):
her to just throw in half orless than half the cost to help,
but she still refuses.
I do not want her to get introuble, but I'm at the point
where I feel she just doesn'treally care. So those are a few
updates I'll read back to back.I sent her a text this morning
telling her, If I do not receivea full cost of the camera or
(25:31):
shipping confirmation of a newcamera from an approved vendor
to provide an address by the endof the day Friday, we will be
filing a report with this policeSaturday. I felt like an asshole
typing this out to her but Ihave to do it. And she told me
she is sick of me and that Iwill be receiving a tracking
number by twelve eastern onFriday and not to blame her as
(25:53):
the package is never received.
I told her if she was my realfriend, she would be sorry and
in no way will it allow this tobe flipped on me. Should I ask
if the camera is new or is theone that disappeared?
Interesting. I mean, I don'tbelieve that the camera would be
gone. I mean, can believe it ifthey were drunk enough, but
(26:14):
definitely this other chick is ashady character, I wouldn't put
it past her.
She could have just pretended tohave lost it but have it in or
out somewhere. She sent me atracking number via FedEx. It
says that it's awaitingpackaging. I ask her repeatedly
if she is sending me theoriginal camera, assuming it
magically turned up, or a newone. She refuses to answer and
(26:38):
only tells me to stop botheringher.
And the final update, I am moreand more convinced my friend,
the camera thief, took thecamera hoping that I would just
replace it for my boyfriend,gifting her a free camera. For
background, this friend isheavily involved on Instagram
and loves taking pictures. TheCanon G7 is coveted by women
(26:58):
because it is known as theInstagram camera. Even if you
wanted to buy one at full price,they are always out of stock
everywhere. Let's hope it getsreturned with this tracking
number.
FedEx still says awaitingpackage even though shipping
info was sent to them yesterday.So I mentioned this happened
over the course of a week. Firstoff, I wanna see how expensive
(27:22):
this camera is. Looks like it'salmost $2,000. So yeah,
basically grand larceny ifcharges would have ended up
being filed, which is what Ithink OP should have done.
Giving because I feel like hewas very loose with her friend.
(27:44):
Very forgiving for I mean, Iguess, I imagine this is a
pretty one-sided relationshipgiven the context and given
everything that we've read toyou so far. It just seems like
OP's friend doesn't even careabout her. She just sees her as
some sort of free piggy bank. OPkind of brought it upon herself
(28:05):
by being like a doormat for solong.
Now her relationship is on theline, which I mean, since it's a
very expensive camera, canimagine the boyfriend's freaking
out right now. But that's justwhat happens when you put your
trust on the wrong people. AndOP's friend, or now ex friend,
is definitely a pretty badperson. Like he's lying,
(28:28):
stealing the camera outright,and again lying when there's
photographic video evidence. Andthen to act that way, to act so
negatively and annoyed that youwere caught stealing a very
expensive camera after thatfriend that you stole the camera
(28:49):
from has been giving you freetrips and free vacations.
It just shows an ungratefulnessthat think Opie should just cut
off after this. Which I'm surethere's no salvaging this
relationship. So yeah, the topcomment is, You're the asshole.
(29:10):
Is there a reason you aren'tchoosing your feeding friend
over your boyfriend? She made itclear she's not your friend and
that she's not going to makethings right.
This police report should havebeen filed the moment she said
she wasn't going to pay for it.If I were your boyfriend I would
be reconsidering therelationship with you over this.
You're dragging your feet tomake this right and get the
(29:34):
report made and replace thiscamera. I mean definitely a
police report should be filed ifthe camera never comes. OP's
friend said, Oh don't besurprised we don't get anything.
That just screams that she'sprobably doing something fishy
around this whole package thing,this whole FedEx thing that
(29:56):
she's trying to send to OP. Idon't think Opie's an asshole
though. Like, sure like, like,from her perspective, this is
her best friend or one of herclosest friends. Cashes her
stealing and maybe they're soclose where she just wants to
(30:16):
give this one friend that sheassumes is like a good friend of
hers as well. Guess she doesn'tsee it for herself that this is
one-sided.
But she assumes it's a mutual,they're both close friends. I'm
sure she just wanted to say, Oh,I just want to forgive you this
one time. I guess she justdidn't want to break it off
(30:38):
immediately there. She didn'twant to have her best friend be
in so much trouble over this.But ultimately, I'm pretty sure
she sees that camera's eithernot coming or she's going to
have to go for illegal routes toget the camera back.
(30:58):
Like I, yeah, understand theboyfriend being upset over
losing this, but this isn'tsomething that I would say is
worth breaking up for. Becausethis ultimately this is just a
thing. It's just like a you losta very expensive thing, but it's
just like things and thatshouldn't be put over your own
(31:19):
relationship. Oh and then onemore thing too I wanted to add.
OP's or at least to Fred orReddit in general, when you get
outside opinions, yeah they'repretty detached from the
situation so that's why theyhindsight is twentytwenty.
The commenter is saying that sheshould have just throw the book
(31:43):
at her friend day one. Yeah,mean that's obvious now. OP If
knew the entire dynamics of thisfriendship that she has with
this one person. If she knewthat from the get go, yeah. She
probably would have just calledthe police in the first chance
they could have gotten.
(32:06):
Realistically, there's just likea lot of things that are going
on moment to moment that thecommenters aren't really picking
up on or applying to the case. Ithink OP is doing the best she
could. Now she has to basicallymake more harder decisions with
(32:29):
the police rapport and how togracefully end the friendship
with one person. Yeah, for mypride and verdict, I wouldn't
say OP is the asshole. But I saythe boyfriend's the asshole.
Not really. You're more upset,rightfully upset about losing a
(32:50):
very expensive camera. Butdefinitely OP's friend is a huge
asshole in this situation. Justthe amount of ungratefulness and
the blatant stealing, It's justlike, this is so much
disrespect. Imagine it's like soand it just comes to show you
(33:11):
that you're never betrayed byenemies, you're betrayed by
friends.
The final story is titled, Am Ithe Asshole for yelling my
friend out for implying I wastrying to be a homewrecker. So
I, 19 female, am in a groupproject with four other people.
(33:31):
Only two are important, myfriend and there is one guy from
our group. The guy and the othertwo live off campus and drive.
Me and my friend both live inthe dorms and we do not drive.
We had to meet off campus forthe project and the guy offered
to drive both of us and meet theothers there as it made the most
(33:51):
sense. When we were in his car Iwas shotgunned and my friend was
in the back and he drives asmall two door so we're all
super close to each other. Iflipped down the sun blocker to
use the mirror and a pull awayof him and his girlfriend was
clipped to the sunshade. And Isaid, oh that's cute. Is that
your girlfriend?
(34:12):
And he said yes. And he flippedhis own sunshade down to reveal
another picture. I said Awthat's so sweet. And I tried to
be friendly and make small talk.I would be working with him for
at least the next month.
I started asking about hisgirlfriend. Oh how long have you
guys been together? How'd youmeet? Did she go to talk
college? Etc.
(34:32):
I thought nothing of it until myfriend asked me what the hell
that was later. And I asked whatshe meant by that and she said
that I was clearly being weird.I told her that I didn't
understand and she asked if Iwould be asking all of this if
his girlfriend was in the car.And I said no. I probably asked
her instead and I told her Ididn't see her point.
(34:55):
I didn't ask her if she wantedto just never talk to our group
mates and the teacher wasn'treally clear on how future
projects would work. Thesegroups were randomized and he
implied that we might keep thesegroups for other projects as
well. However, I am unsure. Soshe said, yeah, obviously you
can get to know them but don'task questions about his
girlfriend like that and used aweird tone like you were
(35:17):
flirting and that is kind ofdisgusting. And I told her that
she could get out of here withthat stupid shit and that it
wasn't that serious.
And she told me that she was nowfurther considering I was trying
to be a home wrecker. And wehave only talked about the
project at this point and it'sonly been a few days. And I'm
reconsidering how mean I was toher. It was something somewhat
(35:40):
trivial. So I do not know whereOpie's friend is coming from
with this.
Like, I didn't feel like thiswas a pretty normal reaction
when you're just talking tosomebody. Like usually when
you're talking to a stranger orsomeone you don't know too well,
you either say something, you dosome sort of small talk to get a
feel for their vibes. And ifthere's anything you can hold
(36:02):
onto to keep a conversationgoing and to just build rapport,
it's normal to just go intothat. And from this case, I hope
you saw that my groupmate has agirlfriend and I imagine this is
one of the few things that hewould like to talk about or is
(36:23):
very excited about talkingabout. So of course, just ask
questions about that.
So I think this is like a verynormal kind of conversation that
you can have with a strangerthat you just met or know very
little about. I think OP'sfriend's response is more like,
it seems like an untrusting kindof signal that she has. Maybe
(36:45):
she originally feels like peopleshouldn't talk about, I guess,
private manners. I guessdepending on how someone sees
it, like a relationship, like arelationship status could be a
private matter. And it's basedall on comfort and stuff.
Like obviously OP and hergroupmate, they're comfortable
(37:07):
enough to talk about this sortof things openly, but Opie's
other friend, or the friend thatshe's closer with, sees
otherwise. Calling Opie a hopemarker over this, I feel like
it's a huge jump in logic.Definitely, to you're seduce
someone else, I wouldn't just betalking about their significant
(37:28):
other. I feel like that was justI don't know. That's just not a
way that for me, I can't reallyfigure out a way to put A and B
together.
We're talking about who someoneis dating is gonna make them
somehow like me more instead. Iguess this doesn't make sense.
But yeah, let's go to the topcomment. The top comment is, You
(37:50):
were trying to make politeconversations. Your friend was
trying to stir shit, not theasshole.
And yeah, simply said, I think,you know, homebrew comment is
very uncalled for. Especiallyfrom your own friend, which I
guess says a lot about thatfriend at least. And I think
yeah, when you're in college orhigh school, a lot of people you
(38:11):
know and me befriend. I feellike a lot of those things kind
of switch up pretty easilydepending the situation. So
final verdict.
OP definitely is not theasshole. Neither is a group
mate. They're both just tryingto be regular average people.
But it's probably something notdeeply wrong, but something like
some slight worldview or likesocial issue for OP's friend or
(38:36):
ex friend now. So that's all thestories we have today.
Thank you for tuning into thisweek's episode. Check out our
website www.yappings.com andjoin our mailing list for
updates. If you love our podcastand want to support us,
subscribe and share to yourfriends and family. We would
appreciate this so much. Andalso we have a Facebook group
(39:00):
called AITA Relationship andFamily Drama linked in the
description.
Join us so you can share Am Ithe asshole posts you like or
share your own stories with usall to judge. We may even read a
few posts in one of ourepisodes. Thank you. Bye.
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