January 6, 2025 • 49 mins
Get ready for a rollercoaster of family feuds, relationship wrecks, and jaw-dropping betrayals in this week’s Yapping Schnauzers! We go into Reddit’s hottest AITA (Am I the Asshole) threads, featuring outrageous stories of meddling in-laws, sabotaged weddings, sibling showdowns, and explosive family secrets. From a sister’s cruel miscarriage comment to a mother-in-law’s airport ambush, these tales of boundary-breaking and emotional drama will leave you shocked, entertained, and maybe even a little thankful for your own family chaos.
Whether you’re a die-hard AITA thread reader, a fan of Reddit story deep dives, or just here for the drama, this episode has it all. Perfect for anyone who loves dissecting family and relationship dilemmas with a side of humor and brutal honesty.
👉🏼Stream now at yappings.com or your favorite podcast streaming platform and let the yapping begin!
Join our Facebook Group AITA - Relationship and Family Drama
Links to threads read:
- AITA for leaving my dad’s birthday dinner after overhearing my sister’s comment about my miscarriage?
- AITA for asking my husband’s family to leave our wedding after they brought his ex to sabotage us?
- AITA for telling my sister that my nephew is NOT my baby?
- AITA for refusing to watch my neighbor’s kid before school because she kept nagging me?
- AITA for "announcing" that my dad's not paying my college tuition?
- AITA for walking out of the Airport when I saw my husband's mom standing there with her luggage?
- UPDATE AITA for walking out of the Airport when I saw my husband's mom standing there with her luggage?
- AITA for suing my parents for my college money?
~
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erika (00:02):
Hello.
This is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
Edgar.
Darielys (00:04):
And Dave.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Snaushers. We entertain you with
yet worthy stories we findaround the web. So today's
episode would be the most recentstories on Reddit. And I believe
Edgar will be reading firststory.
Edgar (00:21):
Yeah. We'll start you off with this first story titled, am
I the asshole for leaving mydad's birthday dinner after
overhearing my sister's commentafter my miscarriage? A few
months ago, me, 28 female, andmy sister, Eva, 33 female,
realized that we were bothpregnant. She's been struggling
(00:42):
with infertility, so we are allhappy for her. I have an older
son, 2 year old male, with myhusband, 32 year old male.
Sadly, a couple of weeks ago, Ilost my baby. We told my family.
They were all supportive, but Idid sort of pull away from them.
They would have tried to avoiddiscussing Eva's baby around me,
(01:03):
but I didn't want to overshadowher, especially since she's
wanted this for a long time. Ialso didn't want to be reminded
of my own loss whenever I sawher.
So I haven't been to my parents'place for Sunday dinners since I
really spent time with Eva,which we had been doing a lot
(01:23):
before. I replied vaguely to anymessages about my absence. It
wasn't the best communicationfor me. Yesterday, my parents
were hosting family dinner formy dad's birthday. I had been
thinking about going because Imiss my family.
And while, of course, the painof losing my child has not
faded, I'm at a point where Ican at least pull a little to
(01:46):
the side to be there for mysister and my new niece when she
is born. So I let my family knowthat we would be coming.
However, we had to get a giftfrom my dad, and then my son had
a bit of a tantrum. So we got tomy parents' place about an hour
late. I wished my dad and thenwent to the kitchen, where my
(02:08):
mom, Eva, and my sister in lawswere.
But before I went in, I heardthem say my name so I stopped.
My mom was saying somethinglike, well, I guess OP is not
coming. And Eva said, but didyou expect? She probably changed
her mind and is just stayinghome again. Honestly, I'm sorry
(02:29):
for her, but you would think shewas the first woman to ever lose
a kid.
And it's not even her first kid.They then kept talking about
other things, but I just wantedto leave. I went and got my
husband who was with mybrother-in-law, dad, and
brothers in the living room. Itold my dad I was really sorry,
but we needed to go. They allprotested, when my husband could
(02:52):
see how upset I was, so hedidn't.
We got my son and left. When wegot home, I just kind of cried
for a while. My husband asked mewhat happened and I told him. He
was angry that she said that,but that we shouldn't have
abruptly left because my dad hadbeen looking forward to seeing
us. My son missed his cousins.
(03:14):
After this, I was feelingconflicted. Later, my brother
texted me saying my dad had beenreally upset about us leaving
and brought it up at dinner,which caused the whole fight
because mom and Eva realizedthat I must have heard them
talking and my dad was mad aboutit. My brother said that it was
pretty bad and he wished I hadjust stayed so none of this
(03:35):
would happened. Obviously, Evadidn't mean for me to hear that.
They were all just frustratedthat I've been AWOL for so long.
Now I feel bad because I didn'tmean to ruin dinner. Obviously,
what Aoife said was hurtful, butI can see how my actions might
have led to her saying somethingout of anger. And I could have
(03:55):
talked to her about it laterinstead of just leaving. I don't
know. Am I the asshole?
ETA for women? Do you wanna readthat all?
Erika (04:06):
Yeah. So I don't know. This one's kinda conflicting.
So, I mean, this it's not fairfor her to just because the
family thinks she should getover it. There is no time limit
to grieve, especially losing achild.
I mean, I I haven't been throughit, but I think in any way,
grief doesn't have a limit. Idon't know what you think then.
Edgar (04:29):
Mhmm. I think it was, like, kind of, like, an
unfortunate situation to be injust because, like, like, the
conversation that OP, like,walked into wasn't, like, meant
for her to hear. And, like,people say a lot of things,
like, behind your back and, infit in, like, faith that they're
that you won't ever hear it. So,like, even though, like, OP's,
sister-in-law or, like, sisterwas, like, being, like, a dick
(04:50):
about it. Like, I don't thinkshe meant lamented to hurt her
directly.
But I think yeah. What do youthink about her leaving,
actually?
Erika (04:56):
I know. I would've
Darielys (04:57):
I don't think I would've left immediately. I
feel like I would've just stayeda little bit and see. Like, I
don't know.
Edgar (05:05):
Yeah. Maybe, like, wait till after dinner.
Darielys (05:07):
Bad because, like, if it's, like, my dad's birthday,
like, I would just stay for himand, like, try to, like, deal
with what I heard later on. Notthat, like it's just it sucks
too, because it was, like, ifdad's birthday, then she heard
that. It was, like, she didn'tknow what to do, so I understand
why she left. Mhmm. But I feellike if it were me, I would have
stayed a little bit and thenleft, obviously.
(05:27):
I wouldn't stay the whole timebecause I'd still have, like,
that in the back
Erika (05:31):
of my head. It would bother me,
Darielys (05:32):
especially if I just lost a kid. That's tough.
Erika (05:36):
Yeah. It doesn't even matter if it's the first,
second, 4th, 5th, 6th child. Youstill lost someone, especially
your child. I think I would'vestayed, but I would've, like,
confronted her.
Darielys (05:48):
Yeah.
Erika (05:49):
I would've literally walked in and be like, so what
are you talking about?
Darielys (05:52):
Say a lot of
Edgar (05:53):
Did you feel like it'd be even worse doing that?
Erika (05:56):
I don't know. I mean, I guess they could have gotten
maybe it's just like they'rejust mad because, you know, they
miss her and
Darielys (06:03):
Mhmm.
Erika (06:04):
Sure they probably expressing it not the right way.
But I think it all comes to aplace where, you know, they're
both frustrated or they're bothsad because they miss each
other. And I think at somepoint, I think talking it out,
maybe this confrontation wouldhelp them talk it out instead of
them being avoidant or her beingavoidant about everybody.
Edgar (06:25):
I feel I feel like it would be, like, a terrible kind
of conversation to have. Feellike he she's just been walking
in on her sister saying that sheshouldn't be sad about a child
that, died. Like, how do youeven go from there?
Darielys (06:36):
I feel like this is an easy fake. They a easy fix. They
just gotta talk it out. Yeah. Ifeel like it's just an easy fix
by just having a conversation.
Erika (06:43):
Well, I mean, some I think it's just one of those
things where it could havecaused or it could be a a a
whole, like, world world worldworld 3, but I don't think so. I
think they understand each other
Edgar (06:58):
a little
Darielys (06:58):
bit more.
Edgar (06:59):
You think, after this day, can patch things up?
Erika (07:03):
Yeah. Mhmm.
Edgar (07:04):
How so? You're still, like, talking to her?
Erika (07:06):
Yeah. Because that's how you understand each other. It's
not like they're coming theyhave, like, malice on their way
they're acting or whatever. It'sjust they're both sad. They're
both you know, she said thatshe's not coming or she's not
able to see her sister thatshe's close to.
And she's sad because she lostsomebody. Mhmm. And she's
grieving. So they're both saddifferent ways, but, you know,
(07:28):
they both wanna be there foreach other. So I don't think
it's gonna be a big deal oncethey talk it out.
Darielys (07:35):
I know. There is, like,
Erika (07:37):
a whole comment. I don't know if you wanna read the top
comment.
Edgar (07:40):
You can read the top comment.
Erika (07:42):
So so the top comment is grief has no limit. Recovery
from miscarriage sucks becausehormones, pain, and suffering
emotionally. The fact that yourfamily thinks you need to
similarly suck it up and getover it is ridiculous. So you
weren't wronged from taking timeto dealing for your loss. Sounds
like they were more focused onyour sister finally getting
(08:04):
pregnant, and they want you todo the same.
It's like, how dare you makeyour miscarriage about yourself?
Don't you know your sister'spregnant? So your sister who has
struggled for infertilityfinally gets pregnant and
decides that a miscarriage isNBD because it happens all the
time and you already have a kid.Your brother is upset because
(08:25):
the family fight wouldn't havehappened if you sucked it up and
stayed. No consequences for yourmom and sister.
Sorry, but hell no. Not theasshole. Ask your sister if she
remembers not being able to getpregnant and ask her to imagine
what she wouldn't have done ifshe overheard you saying she's
probably staying home again. Youknow, she isn't the first woman
(08:47):
to suffer infertility. She canalways adopt if she wants to
have kids so bad.
Yeah. Your sister likely dreadedbeing around pregnant women and
babies because of her struggles,even if she wasn't vocal about
it. But now that she is pregnantand now the only pregnant
sister, she thinks she can lookdown and judge you. Imagine if
it was reversed. I bet yourfamily would be having her over
(09:08):
for dinner and asking her tostay home because you were
pregnant, and it was too hardfor her.
I'm sorry. She is selfish, and Iwouldn't have accept any apology
she gives if she does. Remember,she isn't sorry because she was
wrong of what she said. She issorry she got caught saying it.
And your family is wrong forblaming you for being rightfully
(09:28):
upset because your sister facedthe consequences of voicing her
thoughts out loud.
Question of voicing her thoughtsout loud. Ouch. That's crazy.
That's a
Darielys (09:36):
good one. That's oh my god.
Erika (09:39):
Sounds like a slap in
Edgar (09:39):
the face.
Darielys (09:40):
Cuter.
Erika (09:43):
Woah. That was crazy. I'm I'm guess because I I think
people I don't know. I guessbecause I think about the
relationship I have with mysiblings.
Darielys (09:52):
Mhmm.
Erika (09:52):
Like, if my sister was to say that, I would be hurt, but I
I would get it. You know what Imean? Like, I wouldn't hold it
against them, but not everybodythinks that way. So I get where
the comment, like, the person
Darielys (10:04):
writing the
Erika (10:05):
comment is crazy.
Darielys (10:05):
I mean She went straight to it.
Erika (10:07):
Yes. I mean, she has she has points. She has definitely
points about it. So, I mean, wecould either either either go
good or bad. But, yeah.
I think she does deserve anapology. Mhmm. At least.
Alright. So the next story isEmma the asshole for asking my
husband's family to leave ourwedding after they brought my ex
(10:29):
to sabotage us.
I, 30 male, black, married myhusband, James, 32 white, last
month. It was supposed to be thehappiest day of our lives, but
his family almost ruined it. Forcontext, Jay's family has never
fully accepted me. They madecomments about how different I
am and have openly said they'dwish he'd stay with its ex
(10:51):
girlfriend, Emily. I thoughtthey had finally moved on past
their issues when they showed upto our wedding, but I was wrong.
Halfway through the ceremony, Inoticed Emily sitting in the
front row with James' family. Atfirst, I was confused, but I
didn't wanna cause a scene.After the ceremony, things
became clear. James' mom came upto him and said, are you sure
(11:13):
this is what you want? Emily'shere, and it's not too late to
make things right.
I was standing right there. Icouldn't believe the audacity.
When I confronted her, she actedlike she was doing James a
favor. We just thought he mightwant a reminder of what he's
giving up, she said. James hadchimed in saying, we're just
(11:35):
looking out for his future.
No offense. But we never sawthis relationship lasting. I
defended myself telling themthey were disrespectful
disrespectful for ruining ourday. James' mom brushed me off
saying, we're just being honest.You should be grateful we're
even here.
I lost it. I told him, if youcan't respect our marriage, you
(11:57):
don't need to be here. Jamesoverheard the argument and
immediately backed me up. Hetold me he told them that
bringing Emily to our weddingwas cruel, and if they couldn't
support us, they could leave.His family started arguing,
claiming I was too sensitive inturning James against them.
Emily had the nerve to approachme and say, I didn't mean to
(12:19):
cause trouble. I just wanted tosupport James. I told her she
wasn't welcome, and she left intears. Girl. And now, James'
family is furious.
I ruined the wedding by makingit about drama and but I feel
like I had every right to standup for myself. And mother asked
(12:41):
me for defending myself andasking them to leave.
Darielys (12:44):
No. Mhmm. Absolutely not.
Erika (12:46):
Isn't that crazy?
Darielys (12:48):
And in the front row Oh, my god. The ceremony, when
they they already got marriedand everything, gonna ring. And
then afterwards, the mom comesto I'm so done. I would I would
I would have thrown a fit. Iwould have made a scene.
I I would have made a scenebecause, like, why is she here?
Erika (13:08):
No. If I asked security, I'd be like, can you please
escort them out? I'm like,that's it. Like, I do not wanna
tolerate them. I don't care.
I think and, plus, I I love thatthe husband is supportive of
her. He immediately backed herup. He knew what was going on.
He didn't hear the wholeconversation, but he knew that
his wife was right. He probablyknows his parents too, look
(13:29):
crazy they are.
Mhmm.
Darielys (13:30):
But, like, why would they just bring her and the dad
supporting? No. I didn'tunderstand. I was, like, not the
dad involved with it too. Yeah.
Erika (13:39):
Consistency. They're definitely racist.
Darielys (13:42):
And then her leaving crying, I didn't mean to girl,
yes. You did. That was yourwhole intention to go there and
ruin it. Like, you're the ex.
Erika (13:49):
And then you're crying? Hello.
Darielys (13:53):
She told me that made a
Erika (13:54):
scene? Exactly.
Darielys (13:56):
I know. That's too funny.
Erika (13:58):
No. I definitely think she is not that. So she should I
mean, she kept herself classy.Honestly, she dealt with it,
really well. I don't think shedid anything wrong.
I mean, other people would havebeen pulling hair, saying some
comments, like, you know But,
Darielys (14:16):
like, right when, like, she saw her, like, right
like, right there, we like toknow something. But after the
ceremony so you're telling methey did the whole wedding
process and everything, put thering And then
Erika (14:26):
they came out there. Yeah.
Darielys (14:28):
Yeah. She was holding it. Yeah. But she knew.
Erika (14:32):
I know. No. The parents definitely suck in this one. I I
would really suck having,father-in-law and mother in laws
like that. I think I would havebeen, like, distanced myself
from there from them at allcost.
Yeah. And if I had a baby, theywouldn't even see them. No. So
they could be racist to him
Darielys (14:49):
too? Yeah. No.
Erika (14:50):
I mean, they wouldn't be like, you
Darielys (14:52):
should have a kid with with her instead.
Erika (14:56):
No. That's crazy. No. They're definitely racist. They
don't deserve they don't deserveto be part of the their life, at
least.
I mean, I love that the husbandis there. So at least he's able
she's able to lead on him.
Edgar (15:08):
Yeah. The next story is titled, am I the asshole for
telling my sister that my nephewis not my baby? My sister, 23
female, lives at home and has a6 month old baby. She never
moved in with her boyfriendbecause they lived far away from
each other, and neither of themwanted to compromise. Her baby
daddy never ever comes around.
He's seen this on probably lessthan 30 days total in his entire
(15:31):
life, and because of this, mysister has been treating me, 21
female, and my mom as his otherparent. She expects free
childcare constantly while sheworks and whatnot and gets very
upset when I act hesitant aboutit for whatever reason. Because
she doesn't want to send him togay care, she'd be eligible to
(15:52):
get free childcare on our stay,but doesn't trust it, and I love
my nephew to death, but theseare my child free college years.
I have been parentified andforced to play mommy for my
little siblings for years, andjust when they're getting to the
age that they don't need me somuch, I don't think I should be
(16:12):
forced to step up and play mommyto another child who is in mind.
Especially when I'm on winterbreak for the next couple of
weeks and just want to enjoysleeping in way too late and
being lazy before I've thrownback into full time college.
This has been happening for 4months at this point though. So
when you so when she asked ifI'd watch him tomorrow I got a
(16:37):
bit of an attitude, butultimately said yes, but to do
that she got snappy with me andwas like, why do you always act
like you don't want to do it? Towhich I got upset and responded,
because he's not my kid and Ishouldn't be expected to do this
all the time. She got very angryat me and is now not talking to
me at all, and is surely goingto weaponize my nephew against
(16:59):
me. And to an extent, sure, Iunderstand her anger.
I know that you should be ableto rely on your village and I
don't know if I'm in the wrongfor not wanting to do this, but
I'm so tired of taking care ofother people's children all the
time for free even if I love thekids to death. I can't tell if
I'm being selfish or not. Youmight asshole here. What do you
(17:23):
guys think?
Erika (17:26):
I don't think she is because it's not her
responsibility. Why should shetake care I mean, sure. They're
family. And if she can, sheshould. I mean, if she if she
has the time, but it doesn'tmean that she has to.
It's not her responsibility.Yeah. I mean, ultimately, the
(17:46):
parent's supposed to sure. She'sa single mom, but she has to
figure it out.
Edgar (17:51):
Mhmm.
Erika (17:51):
She is the parent. I mean, you can do as much as to
help and stuff like that, but Iand on at the end of the day,
it's not your child.
Darielys (17:59):
At least pay them something because they're
they're helping you out. Like,it's not like I don't know.
Erika (18:08):
It's hard. I mean
Darielys (18:09):
I know. It's like if you like, you can't say no to
them because, like, it's not thekids' fault either that they
don't have nowhere to go. Andit's like you can't I don't
know. It's a tough situation tobe honest. I don't know.
Erika (18:22):
Yeah. I mean, the tough comment says, so it's not the
asshole but you're still miredmired deep with false sense of
obligation. You need to stepback and have a long hard talk
hard think about what you'rehaving these college years means
to you. What they can be if youlive with them as you want to
(18:42):
and deserve to and then fightfor them because, otherwise, you
won't get to live them and theywill never come back. You will
spend them babysitting and beingbossed around.
Experience you would have had,friends you would have made,
things you would have influencedin the whole your whole life
won't happen. You need to workout just how much babysitting
you are willing to do and thennot do another hour more. You
(19:06):
need to be utterly strict aboutit and take no crap. You don't
need to take care how yoursister tries to punish you with
the moods and whatnot.Ultimately, she is the one who
wants something out of you andanything you give her is
something she should be gratefulfor.
You don't owe her any of it. Sheis the mother. If she feels
entitled to it because you youhave spine made of tofu what? A
(19:32):
spine made of tofu, then shewon't even feel grateful because
you're doing it is a norm andonly to be expected. You giving
in will only be rewarded by herfeeling entitled to it and then
getting angry whenever youaren't sacrificing as much as
you can for her sake all thetime.
I think that's good. Andanything that's honest honestly
true. If I were you, I wouldgive her a minimum of
(19:55):
babysitting bar emergencies andthen be ruthless about having
your time respected andbabysitting cut off for a time
for any infractions. This is theonly way you'll be respected and
appreciated. Your sister willcope.
She will find a way to startmaking her own sacrifices
properly, and she should becauseher baby is her responsibility.
(20:18):
Of course, if manipulating andpressuring you into sharing half
of the load works, she wouldchoose that. But if it doesn't,
she will find her own way. Youjust have to weather out the
storm after you start saying noand mean it, and she reacts by
trying to make it easier for youto give in rather than deal with
all the throw she's throwing atyou. It would end if you stick
(20:41):
up your guns, but there is onlyone light at the end of the
tunnel if you write things out.
Wow. That was crazy. That was alot. She needs to put boundaries
Darielys (20:54):
with, like, her sister or whatever. And then I feel
like once she does that, it'llbe like, she's she's gonna get
mad regardless because of it,but it'll be better for her in
the long run.
Erika (21:06):
I agree. I think she just needs boundaries. And I mean,
she's not saying she's gonna cuther off completely, but she
should just, you know, begrateful that she's able to do
it and that's it and just haveboundaries. I think that's a
good way to look at it. Yeah.
I don't know. But I feel like atleast for Hispanic like, I don't
know, my culture or, like,Ecuadorian. I don't know if it's
(21:27):
a whole thing, but I feel likemy mom has engraved to us. If
your sister needs help, you needto help her. Like
Darielys (21:34):
Oh, yeah. There is
Erika (21:35):
no there is no ifs and buts. And I'm like, well, you
know, you can do as much as youcan. And I'm sure any little
thing, you can help out, theyappreciate it. And they that's
definitely true for them. Theydon't expect you to help them or
get help.
They just, you know, they feelappreciated if you do help.
(21:56):
Which I like that becausethey're not entitled. One is
called Emma the asshole forrefusing to watch my neighbor's
kid before school because shekept nagging me. I, female 35,
am staying at home mom with 2kids. John, male 10, and Ava,
(22:17):
female, 8.
My neighbor Zoe is female, 42,works full time, and asked at
the beginning of the school yearif she could drop off her
daughters to female, 9, an hourbefore school started twice a
week. I agreed and and was happyto help out a neighbor. However,
things got bad pretty quickly.My kids do not get along well
(22:41):
with Sue and see entertainingher as a chore. Both of my kids
enjoy sports, arts, and playingoutside, while Sue is glued to
her phone.
Despite this, Sue pouts when mykids do their own thing instead
of trying to engage with her.Zoe called me a few weeks into
school year to nag me for havingthe kids walk bike to school,
(23:02):
saying it was unsafe and askingme to drive Sue. I told her no.
If Sue was old enough to have aphone, she was old enough to
walk bike to school. A weeklater, she asked me to cook real
sausage for Sue in addition toveggie sausage I make for my
kids.
My husband and I don't buy meat.I told her no. Sue could eat
(23:23):
what I cook, but if she wantedspecific food, she should she
would have to prepare itherself. For the 1st semester of
school, Zoey nagged me withsimilar requests. Don't play
songs with explicit lyrics.
Don't let multiple kids on thetrampoline simultaneously. Watch
the kids when they're outside,etcetera. When I refused, she
(23:44):
was respectful and were like,sorry to bother you, but she
still had a new request everyweek. At the end of the
semester, I told her I was notgoing to make adjustments to our
family lifestyle andinconvenience my family for the
sake of her child. Sue's safetywas not at risk.
As she was unsatisfied withSue's situation, there were
(24:06):
plenty of other people in theneighborhood who could watch
her. So I seemed reallyreceptive, and I was hopeful
that would be the end of thenagging. When the kids got home
on December 20th, I asked, areyou excited for the 2.5 weeks
with no school? And Johnresponded, I'm more excited of
2.5 weeks with no Sue. Avanodded and giggled along.
(24:30):
They it broke my heart to knowthat they were more happy to get
a break from Sue than school.Damn. Just a couple of weeks
ago, days ago, Zoe reached outthanking me for agreeing to
watch Sue and asking if I couldwatch her a couple afternoons in
a week in addition to Zoe couldhave some me time. I told her
(24:53):
this would no longer work. Ourkids did not mesh well, and I
didn't want to deal with moreinappropriate requests.
I thought Zoe might be mad, butinstead she begged me to watch
Sue at least 1 morning a week.She apologized profusely and
said I would parent however Iwanted to. This made me feel bad
because she generally needed myhelp, and I did not know how
(25:15):
know what she would do. I toldher I knew I could, and her
apology was too little too late.Oh, man.
Okay. My husband and the kidsstand by my decision, but some
of the other moms think I shouldhave been more accommodating.
Girl, please. Then you watchher. Exactly.
Saying I'm selfish that momshelp moms, and I'll never know
(25:37):
when I might need help. Does myrefusal to help Zoe make me an
asshole? No.
Darielys (25:47):
I just can't.
Erika (25:48):
Why do you think so? Like, was it too much? Was she
asking for too much?
Darielys (25:53):
I mean, it was just, like, she was just, like, saying
little things repeatedly. Like,I feel like her saying a new
thing every week is kindaannoying because, like, if I'm
taking care of your kid, thatmeans you trust me and the way,
like, I am. So I don't need themtelling me, oh, no. Don't do
this. Don't do that.
Like, if it bothers you thatmuch, just bring your kid to
(26:15):
somebody else that you trust anddon't have to keep nagging about
every little thing. You You knowwhat I mean? Yeah. Like, I I
feel like she just doesn't Imean, I get it. She cares about
her kid and wants everythingperfect, but no.
No. If I'm no. I agree with,what is the the lady that's
taking care of her? Like, thisis how I do it. Like, you're I'm
(26:38):
taking care of her.
This is how it's gonna go.
Erika (26:40):
Yeah. I mean, you're asking for too much. Like, she's
doing you a favor Mhmm. Takingcare of your child, feeding your
child, and getting your childsafely to the house, like, and
you're asking her a request,like, cook her a different meal,
cook her this, or make sure towatch her her safety is
priority. Like, no.
Darielys (27:00):
The trampoline?
Erika (27:01):
Girl, they're cute. So many months ago. It's my god. I
know. I think she's I don'tknow.
But she's asking for too much.Even the kids are tired of it.
Yeah. I don't the probablybecause Sue is also
Darielys (27:15):
I can't with that name. I'm sorry. I was trying
not to laugh when when I foundout her name was Sue. I was
because, like, Sue reminds meof, like, Yeah. Like, I don't it
doesn't remind me of a 9 yearold.
And so I was just yeah.
Erika (27:30):
I don't
Edgar (27:30):
think the old person in a the kid's body.
Erika (27:34):
Well, she's on her phone and she doesn't wanna do
anything else. So, you know,
Darielys (27:37):
the kids
Erika (27:38):
and then she gets upset.
Darielys (27:39):
Like yeah.
Erika (27:40):
If they do not pay attention to her. Like, what do
you mean? Like, go out and play.Don't give her don't give me the
phone.
Darielys (27:45):
If my mom was ever, like, taking care of somebody
like that, I wouldn't wanna talkwith them. Like, I would be
like, okay. Well, they theydon't wanna talk to me so I'm
not gonna talk to them.
Erika (27:53):
Exactly. Yeah. I think she's just asking for too much.
She should've just beenthankful.
Darielys (27:58):
The food wise, like, if she wants her to have real
meats or whatever, prepare
Erika (28:04):
a lunch for her or food or something.
Darielys (28:07):
I don't know. Like, something like that simple. So,
like, when they're all eating,she can just eat whatever her
mom gave her and not whateverthe lady that's taking care of
her is making. I don't know.It's like simple things like
that.
It's just I don't know. Butchanging her, like, whole
routine just for her is kindaannoying. I'd be mad if
Erika (28:25):
my mom ever did that. Like, dude, really?
Darielys (28:28):
I get it, but no. Come on.
Erika (28:30):
Yeah. I mean yeah. I mean, if the kids are that happy
to not be with Sue, it there hasto be something that she doesn't
even know that's going on.Because why would the kids not
like her so much that they'reeven happy to see her. Yeah.
I mean, it doesn't make sense.It's just for the kids to be
that happy to have pizza andspending time with her.
Darielys (28:52):
I know.
Erika (28:53):
Yeah. That's that speaks volumes. So I think she did the
right decision to just, youknow, leave her and say, sorry.
We can't take care of Zoeanymore. You still think she's
an asshole?
Edgar (29:05):
Is it OP? Yeah. Yeah. I hope he isn't.
Erika (29:08):
You think so either? No. Yeah. I agree. Alright.
So the next one.
Edgar (29:13):
Yeah. The next story is titled, you mighty asshole for
announcing that my dad's notpaying my college tuition. My
aunt and uncle are paying for mycousin's college. My dad had a
college fund for me, but he hadstipulations like he he wanted
nothing below a B for grades andto pre approve any classes I
take, weekly meetings to discussgrades, and a bunch of other
(29:33):
stuff, which would be fine ifyou have a normal dad. Mine
isn't.
My dad has a temper and I spent6 weeks out of grade stressed
out about grades and beingscreamed at or grounded over
things that sometimes weren'teven my fault, like a teacher
not updating online grading andan assignment being marked
missing because of it, andgetting my backpack in lock or
(29:56):
randomly searched by him for noreason besides to make sure I'm
not hiding anything. I decidedto pay for school myself because
of 1, not being stressed overgetting screamed at, 2, I didn't
feel like constantly worryingthat he disapprove of a class or
a grade and decide not to pay,which I could totally see him
(30:16):
doing. I'd rather be in thatthan controlled for 4 more
years. I just finished my 1styear, but my family got together
on 4th and well sometimesthey're nosy. They were talking
about my cousin's school and myuncle looked at my dad and said,
well how much is my name schoolcosting you?
I said what are you asking himfor? I'm the one paying for it.
(30:41):
Later on, my dad was pissed offand said that it was out of line
to say that and I embarrassedhim. I didn't do it to embarrass
him. I was just being honest.
He doesn't even know how muchtuition is, so he was the wrong
person to ask. You mightyasshole.
Erika (30:57):
Oh my
Edgar (30:58):
god. Not really. I mean, I I don't think he like, he said
it kinda like in a sassy way,but I don't think
Erika (31:04):
OP meant it. Sassy. Yeah. He was being sassy. Yeah.
Edgar (31:06):
But I don't think OP meant it to be like, oh, my
dad's not paying my tuition.Like, trying to say, like he,
you know, he could've went inmore deep in in and said stuff
about, like, oh, he'scontrolling. I don't want him to
pay for it or, like, he could'vesaid anything else. But instead,
he just says he's not paying forit. They just left it at that.
Erika (31:23):
Yeah. I mean but did you hear how controlling he is?
Edgar (31:27):
Yeah. It's probably, like, too much.
Erika (31:29):
That's a lot. I mean, I don't blame him for wanting his
peace of mind over the that.That's crazy. I don't know.
Edgar (31:35):
I just I think that's too much for school, which I don't
really think is, like, helpinganyone anyways.
Darielys (31:42):
No. Checking his bag is kinda insane.
Edgar (31:45):
Yeah. I mean, what what is he gonna do?
Erika (31:47):
Like, what? Like, are you eating chocolate? Bring candy?
Edgar (31:51):
Like, it's like he's just suffocating his child at that
point. So he's alwayssuffocating beforehand.
Darielys (31:56):
My mom be like that too sometimes.
Edgar (31:57):
Your mom checks your bag?
Darielys (31:58):
No. No. No. Not the bag thing. Like, the grape
thing.
She'd be like, why'd you getthis?
Erika (32:03):
Why did
Darielys (32:03):
you get an a? And I'm just like, dude. I I get, like,
in that part, I I understandbecause my mom's the same way.
Mhmm.
Erika (32:11):
Yeah. I remember trying too in, like, middle school. I
remember I got a b minus or wasit a c plus. I don't know. 1 or
2.
Mhmm. I went there. I was like,what did you get? Yeah. I got
yelled at.
Darielys (32:21):
It was done. It's like it sucks. Yeah.
Erika (32:25):
But, you know, I get it. They're coming from, you know, a
better place trying to get to,you know, get better, understand
better, be in a better, youknow, it's fine, which I I thank
him for everything, you know,but it's gonna you know, I mean,
he's a yell at me. But, anyways,I think, yeah, he's not the
(32:45):
asshole.
Edgar (32:46):
No. Mm-mm. Yeah. Hope he's definitely not the asshole
first. Just I
Darielys (32:50):
mean, he's kinda doing that a favor.
Erika (32:52):
We have
Edgar (32:52):
anything else. That that should
Darielys (32:54):
be happening. He's not paying it. You know what I mean?
Exactly.
Edgar (32:57):
And then that could go on a vacation.
Darielys (32:59):
Yeah. He needs one.
Edgar (33:01):
Yeah. He's doing too much for He
Darielys (33:02):
probably needs one.
Edgar (33:03):
12 years? How long you in grade school for? 12 to 13?
Darielys (33:06):
13, I think.
Edgar (33:07):
Doing too much for 13
Erika (33:08):
years? 13? Yeah. Yeah. That's a long time.
Oh my god.
Edgar (33:12):
He just needs a drink.
Erika (33:13):
He'll be traumatized.
Darielys (33:14):
He needs a drink? Yeah. No. I think he needs a
couple.
Edgar (33:17):
A couple of drinks?
Darielys (33:18):
Yes. He
Edgar (33:18):
needs to be back out for a month.
Erika (33:22):
Yes. Yeah. I think the father needs help. I think well,
you know, if you think about it,I feel like parents are like
that because also their parentswere like that, and it's a
cycle. So they treat their theirchildren like that way because
that's all they know.
So it's just a a cycle thatnever ends. But I'm glad at
least OP was able to, you know,be like, this is not okay. I'm
(33:43):
gonna do this and, you know,take care of it myself. So,
yeah, fair agreement that he wasnot the asshole. Right?
Edgar (33:50):
Yeah, man.
Erika (33:52):
Alright. So the next story is Emma the asshole for
walking out of the airport whenI saw my husband's mom standing
there with her luggage. I,female 30, don't have the best
relationship with my husband'smom. Since day 1, she tried to
make remarks and compare me toher. She then tried to get on my
(34:12):
good side and started overlypraising everything I do and
sometimes even copying me, likethat one time when she literally
dyed her hair purple just likemine.
And when everyone pointed thatout, how ridiculous she looked,
she actually blamed me andaccused me for trying to make a
joke out of her. So crayons. Ohmy gosh. So, anyways, my husband
(34:41):
and I took 2 weeks off work tovisit some places out of the
country, tourism in other words.Thing is, I was the one who
saved up for and arranged forthe trip.
My husband was responsible forbooking the tickets. My
husband's mom wanted to comealong and threw temper tantrums
when I said no. She called,texted, sent people to talk to
(35:04):
me into letting her come, eventhreatened to call the police
and make some complaint up to toto get us to stay if she can't
come. My husband said we shouldjust take her, but I told him he
was wrong to tell her about thetrip in the first place. He gave
me an ultimatum, said hewouldn't go if she can't come,
(35:24):
and I told him I gladly call hisbluff, which made him take his
words back and say, fine.
I will tell her to stop itbecause she won't we won't take
her. Things got quieter, sosuspiciously quieter. The day of
the trip came and we got to theairport at 2 PM. My husband was
walking ahead of me and waslooking left and right like he
(35:46):
was looking for someone. I askedhim, but he didn't respond.
He led me to the waiting areaand the first thing I saw was
his mom standing there with herluggage. I froze in my spot. I
felt cold waves washing over me,and I was fuming inside. She and
(36:08):
my husband were hugging. That'swhen I quietly turned around and
started walking towards theexit.
My husband followed me whileshouting at me to stop. He tried
to stop me, but I told him offthe harshest way possible. He
tried to say I was overreactingand that his mom was there
anyway and I should let her goand not mess this trip up for
(36:28):
us. I told them he and his momcould just go and I was going
home. I went home and sobbedinto my dog's fur for several
minutes.
Turns turned out he booked her aticket without me knowing. An
hour later, he came home yellingand raging about how pathetic
and spiteful I was for walkingout and go home and going home
(36:51):
to ruin the trip last minute. Itold him he caused this to
happen. He said that I was beingso hard on his mom. It's
ridiculous.
I refuse to fight anymore, buthe kept on berating me, then
called my family to tell themthat the trip was canceled and
that it was because of me. Myfamily said that I shouldn't
have ruined it for myself, and Ishould have sucked it up and
(37:12):
done my best to enjoy it. Did Ioverreact?
Darielys (37:16):
Oh my god.
Erika (37:17):
This is so much. Like, literally, I feel rage inside
for her.
Darielys (37:22):
I'd be mad. I'd be really, really mad. Oh.
Erika (37:26):
This is really, really frustrates me. Yes. Like,
internally, I I am mad. Like,I'm really frustrated with her
husband. I would this is divorceworthy.
I'm sorry. This is divorceworthy, and I don't say that
very often because I thinkpeople should work it out, but
hit her their relationship hasalways been his mom being a
(37:48):
third wheel. I So bad. He's amama's boy and like too severely
like it's too much like I somany wrong things happened here
first of all he went behind herback yes Lied to her face,
basically, and then invited hismom and then blamed her for
(38:11):
being mad and leaving. When shealready spoke with him and said,
I don't not want her to comethis is a trip for you and I so
he completely ignored herfeelings her suggestion her
planning that she saved up
Darielys (38:27):
and he only
Erika (38:31):
bought a
Darielys (38:32):
ticket. For his mom?
Erika (38:34):
Yep. So I I find it ridiculous. I think he is sorry.
Excuse of a whole human being.Because he's just he he doesn't
understand what he's doing wrongeither.
He thinks that she is in thewrong, and I don't think he's
ever gonna stink otherwise,which makes it worse. I think
(38:54):
she did OP deserves better, andshe needs to divorce. I'm sorry.
Divorce. And then what pissed meoff the most was she told this
to the family and said sheshould have sucked it up.
Darielys (39:04):
Yeah. What do you mean? Oh, sucked it. Okay. Being
on her husband's side and nother.
Erika (39:12):
No. That's crazy.
Darielys (39:13):
That's messy.
Erika (39:15):
Sorry.
Edgar (39:16):
Why are
Darielys (39:16):
you buying another ticket and gone somewhere else?
Oh, she would have guessed. And,like, just have her own vacation
because she's the one thatarranged it and everything.
Yeah. But she already knows.
Yeah. I would just canceleverything and then I think
start doing her own thing.
Erika (39:29):
She would have said that she canceled the trip but then,
changed her flight and thencould have gone to the trip
herself and liked her on flight.Just shouldn't yeah. That's it.
She still had of, like, enjoyedthe moment, with herself at
least. I think that'sfrustrating.
That's so frustrating.
Darielys (39:45):
Take your dog with you.
Erika (39:46):
Yeah. Go keep it coming. So there isn't, like, a small
update. Well, it's kind of along update.
Darielys (39:52):
Small girl.
Erika (39:54):
So she said, I don't know where to begin. It's been an
absolute nightmare recently andI feel like I am losing my
sanity. For more details aboutmy situation, I have to admit
that my husband's moms favor himover all his siblings. This
affected his relationship withthem and me as well. He's never
seen an issue with howdifferently his mom treats him.
(40:17):
It bothered me and made me feeluncomfortable. The whole dynamic
made me feel uncomfortable.Going low contact has never been
an option. Like, he has to seeher or call her every day. Most
of his siblings don't talk tohim, and I, a 100%, believe it's
because of his mom's favoritism,like I said before.
(40:38):
He does the bear he does bearsome blame for not being seen
how wrong it is till this day.In many instances, I found
myself making excuses for hisbehavior. Even in my post, I did
spontaneously, and I don't knowwhy. But I guess it's because of
how much I love him and becauseI really, really wanted to be
able to work things this workthings out without letting this
(41:01):
affect our marriage. Regardingwhat happened with the trip, he
tried to talk with me and mostof what he said came from a
place of blame.
Blame towards me. I justcouldn't continue with this
argument. I told him I neededspace and that I wouldn't be
going to stay with I would begoing to stay with my sister for
a while. He didn't take it well.He literally got up from the
couch and opened the doortelling me to go right then and
(41:24):
there.
In that moment and seeing how hewas still not even anywhere near
understanding what he has donejust made things perfectly clear
to me. I just had pictured yearsyears of my life being lived
like that, and I was like, nope.I can't do it. Can't take any
more of it more of it,especially when he keeps
(41:45):
focusing on being right everytime. His mom can do no wrong.
I'm always the aggressive,crazy, jealous, pathetic
overreactor. All these people'sopinions, advice, and concerns
were like a spark, like the wakeup call I needed. Though I wish
that it didn't get this far, butwhat is done is done. Right now,
(42:09):
I'm staying with my sister. Ibrought my dog with me as well.
He sent me the last messagetelling me telling me I'm the
one choosing to end what we hadtogether, but I believe it's the
other way around, especiallywith how he keeps making his mom
the victim of this situation.It's become clear now that we
keep going in circles with noend in each and reach. And I'm
(42:31):
just so exhausted andoverwhelmed, and I'm not mad at
him and don't expect it tochange, but at least given
options to decide what's bestfor me and my future even if
it's a separation and divorce.And a big thank you to those who
reached out with me in resourcesthat I feel very, very lucky to
have across. I just wanted togive you an update since many of
you asked for it.
Darielys (42:54):
That's a hard update.
Erika (42:56):
That's crazy. I knew it. This had to be the worst. I'm
sorry. There's just there's justno fixing it because he doesn't
see what he's doing is wrong.
He thinks that
Darielys (43:07):
she's Like, going crazy. Like, he kinda
overreacted in that part. Idon't know. Where he was, like,
going off at her and, like,telling her to get out and
stuff.
Erika (43:16):
Yeah. He It
Darielys (43:17):
was too much. He he opened the door for her? Yeah.
Like, did you want me to leavebefore? It's just like your way
of, like, actually kicking meout and actually having a reason
to.
Like, that's just insane to me.
Erika (43:28):
It's crazy. No. I think there's just no reason rhyme or
reason for him, and there's noother way than his mom being the
victim of the situation becauseshe can't do any wrong at this
point. So I think it's best forher to just let it go.
Darielys (43:44):
Where's her her husband? Where is he at?
Erika (43:47):
I don't know. She maybe I don't know. Because he talk
about it.
Darielys (43:50):
Because like if she doesn't have it in the year or
whatever they pass I don't knowsomething happened then like I
don't know maybe like that's herson is like the only person she
got. I don't know.
Erika (44:00):
Well, she has other siblings.
Darielys (44:02):
Oh my god.
Erika (44:02):
And he's the favorite one too.
Darielys (44:04):
That's so bad.
Erika (44:06):
Yeah. Yeah.
Darielys (44:08):
She feels lonely and that's
Erika (44:09):
the only person she can go to because she lost everybody
else. Yeah. Because because ofher decisions, because of her
choices. So she's really toblame here. She lost her,
because of her decisions and hernagging and her craziness.
She made her son lose hismarriage at this point.
Darielys (44:28):
He didn't even care either. Because if he really
cared, he would have likestopped like every everything or
said something. I don't know.
Erika (44:36):
Yeah. I mean, he would have not invited his his mother
to the trip. That simple.
Darielys (44:41):
No. Why get her a tiki? I still don't understand
that. Yeah. And behind her back.
Erika (44:47):
Yep. Yeah. He's definitely in the wrong he's the
asshole and the mother too.They're both assholes. Okay.
And then next story.
Edgar (44:56):
Okay. The next and final story is titled am I the asshole
for suing my parents for mycollege money? My great aunt set
up saving accounts for all ofher female relatives. In our
culture, education for women isnot really valued, and she
thought that that was bullshit.She lived with her father in
London where she was educated.
(45:18):
She went on to attend universityand became a doctor. She married
a British man, they moved toAmerica, and had a great life.
She founded the education of asmany of her nieces and
grandnieces as she could. Whenshe passed away, she left money
for every girl relative shecould. My parents managed to
access the accounts that was setup for my sister and I.
They used it to pay for mybrother's wedding. My sister
(45:41):
didn't care because she gotmarried 2 years ago out of high
school and had no intention ofgoing to college. When I
graduated, I left to the bank toget money from school and it was
almost all gone. There was like$13,000 left. I asked my parents
about it and they said theyneeded the money.
I finally found out where themoney went. I got furious. I got
(46:03):
student loans and moved out. Iam a great source of shame to
them and I don't give 2 fucks.I'm currently suing them for the
money that was left for me.
My entire family is against me.They all think I am a complete
asshole for airing privatefamily business in public and
that I am putting money ahead ofmy family. My friends are all on
(46:26):
my side, but they are allAmericans and don't really get
my culture. Neither do I, to behonest. My brother called me up
and offered to pay for myuniversity if I dropped a
lawsuit.
I agreed as long as we had alegally binding contract and he
said I was being an asshole fornot trusting him. I said he
(46:46):
should not have accepted mymoney for his wedding. It is
causing all kinds ofembarrassment in our community.
I am somewhat ashamed to bedoing this, but I don't want to
have this debt I should nothave. Am I the asshole?
I do not think so. I think it's,like, crazy to have spent all
that money on a wedding in thefirst place.
Erika (47:08):
Yeah. I don't think she's a asshole either. I think she
should do whatever it takesbecause it's not right for her
parents to use the money thatbelonged to her for a wedding.
Mhmm. I'd be so mad.
For a wedding. I mean, hercollege, you know, would be what
(47:29):
she would have used it for.Yeah. And her parents using it
without her permission is crazyto me. Yeah.
Edgar (47:34):
They basically stole it.
Darielys (47:36):
Mhmm.
Edgar (47:36):
Well, they actually stole it.
Erika (47:38):
They did because they took she already left $13,000.
That's a lot.
Edgar (47:42):
Mhmm. Wow.
Erika (47:44):
Yeah. She's not that asshole. She definitely should
go for it in regardless what thefamily thinks. Who cares? It's
not like they took their hertheir money.
I'm sure they would be pissedoff too. Mhmm. So that's why
they're like, oh, why are youdoing like that? Well, because
they didn't take your money.That's why.
So yeah. I think she should'vetotally done that. And then the
brother being asshole toosaying, oh, you don't trust me?
(48:05):
Of course not. And after myparents lied to me and took the
parent my money for yourwedding, and then you're asking,
oh, word-of-mouth, like, oh, Ipromise to give it to you.
No.
Edgar (48:14):
I know. Yeah. I can't believe he like, I think he was
trying to show her.
Darielys (48:17):
That's not
Edgar (48:17):
Like, he thought that he was, like, that she was dumb.
Erika (48:19):
Yeah. I think he was trying to help his parents
because of the whole weddingthing and be like, oh, no. I'm
not gonna give it to you. Yeah.A 100%.
I have I feel like that's mythat's my instinct.
Darielys (48:30):
I know.
Erika (48:31):
Yeah. I think all his all her families are assholes.
Edgar (48:34):
Yeah. He's she's gonna get, like, a lot of money from
that, hopefully.
Erika (48:37):
Yes. I hope hopefully, she does. More than 3 13,000.
Edgar (48:41):
No. That was what was left of the bank account.
Erika (48:43):
Yeah. So imagine What was left? Yeah.
Darielys (48:45):
How much did they take?
Edgar (48:46):
100 of 1,000 probably.
Darielys (48:48):
Oh my god.
Edgar (48:49):
Like, that's, like, so irresponsible. Like
Erika (48:52):
For a wedding? Come on, people.
Darielys (48:54):
They 2,000 isn't even enough for college Mhmm.
Depending on what she gonnastudy on. Yeah. That's not
enough.
Edgar (48:59):
The parents took 2 accounts for her money like
that.
Darielys (49:02):
That's insane.
Erika (49:02):
And they're sisters too, remember? They'll just even care
because she is already marriedand whatever. Mhmm. But yeah.
Can you believe it?
How much money they spent?
Darielys (49:12):
Does the brother not have money?
Edgar (49:14):
No. For
Darielys (49:15):
his own wedding? Then why are you guys getting married
if you guys don't have themoney?
Erika (49:18):
That's crazy. That's favoritism right there. Probably
sex offender. That's ridiculous.Because depending on their
culture
Darielys (49:24):
or whatever.
Erika (49:24):
What's that? Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Because it might be
that too.
Edgar (49:29):
It's ridiculous.
Erika (49:30):
Sex is per preferential treatment. Yeah. Yeah.
Darielys (49:32):
I know. That's
Erika (49:34):
Yeah. So she's not the asshole bullfrog a girl. I hope
you get the money back and moreand then some. Triple. Exactly.
Alright. So that concludes ourepisode. Thank you for joining
us. We'll see you next week.Bye.
Hello.
This is Erika.
Edgar (00:04):
Edgar.
Darielys (00:04):
And Dave.
Erika (00:05):
And we are the Yapping Snaushers. We entertain you with
yet worthy stories we findaround the web. So today's
episode would be the most recentstories on Reddit. And I believe
Edgar will be reading firststory.
Edgar (00:21):
Yeah. We'll start you off with this first story titled, am
I the asshole for leaving mydad's birthday dinner after
overhearing my sister's commentafter my miscarriage? A few
months ago, me, 28 female, andmy sister, Eva, 33 female,
realized that we were bothpregnant. She's been struggling
(00:42):
with infertility, so we are allhappy for her. I have an older
son, 2 year old male, with myhusband, 32 year old male.
Sadly, a couple of weeks ago, Ilost my baby. We told my family.
They were all supportive, but Idid sort of pull away from them.
They would have tried to avoiddiscussing Eva's baby around me,
(01:03):
but I didn't want to overshadowher, especially since she's
wanted this for a long time. Ialso didn't want to be reminded
of my own loss whenever I sawher.
So I haven't been to my parents'place for Sunday dinners since I
really spent time with Eva,which we had been doing a lot
(01:23):
before. I replied vaguely to anymessages about my absence. It
wasn't the best communicationfor me. Yesterday, my parents
were hosting family dinner formy dad's birthday. I had been
thinking about going because Imiss my family.
And while, of course, the painof losing my child has not
faded, I'm at a point where Ican at least pull a little to
(01:46):
the side to be there for mysister and my new niece when she
is born. So I let my family knowthat we would be coming.
However, we had to get a giftfrom my dad, and then my son had
a bit of a tantrum. So we got tomy parents' place about an hour
late. I wished my dad and thenwent to the kitchen, where my
(02:08):
mom, Eva, and my sister in lawswere.
But before I went in, I heardthem say my name so I stopped.
My mom was saying somethinglike, well, I guess OP is not
coming. And Eva said, but didyou expect? She probably changed
her mind and is just stayinghome again. Honestly, I'm sorry
(02:29):
for her, but you would think shewas the first woman to ever lose
a kid.
And it's not even her first kid.They then kept talking about
other things, but I just wantedto leave. I went and got my
husband who was with mybrother-in-law, dad, and
brothers in the living room. Itold my dad I was really sorry,
but we needed to go. They allprotested, when my husband could
(02:52):
see how upset I was, so hedidn't.
We got my son and left. When wegot home, I just kind of cried
for a while. My husband asked mewhat happened and I told him. He
was angry that she said that,but that we shouldn't have
abruptly left because my dad hadbeen looking forward to seeing
us. My son missed his cousins.
(03:14):
After this, I was feelingconflicted. Later, my brother
texted me saying my dad had beenreally upset about us leaving
and brought it up at dinner,which caused the whole fight
because mom and Eva realizedthat I must have heard them
talking and my dad was mad aboutit. My brother said that it was
pretty bad and he wished I hadjust stayed so none of this
(03:35):
would happened. Obviously, Evadidn't mean for me to hear that.
They were all just frustratedthat I've been AWOL for so long.
Now I feel bad because I didn'tmean to ruin dinner. Obviously,
what Aoife said was hurtful, butI can see how my actions might
have led to her saying somethingout of anger. And I could have
(03:55):
talked to her about it laterinstead of just leaving. I don't
know. Am I the asshole?
ETA for women? Do you wanna readthat all?
Erika (04:06):
Yeah. So I don't know. This one's kinda conflicting.
So, I mean, this it's not fairfor her to just because the
family thinks she should getover it. There is no time limit
to grieve, especially losing achild.
I mean, I I haven't been throughit, but I think in any way,
grief doesn't have a limit. Idon't know what you think then.
Edgar (04:29):
Mhmm. I think it was, like, kind of, like, an
unfortunate situation to be injust because, like, like, the
conversation that OP, like,walked into wasn't, like, meant
for her to hear. And, like,people say a lot of things,
like, behind your back and, infit in, like, faith that they're
that you won't ever hear it. So,like, even though, like, OP's,
sister-in-law or, like, sisterwas, like, being, like, a dick
(04:50):
about it. Like, I don't thinkshe meant lamented to hurt her
directly.
But I think yeah. What do youthink about her leaving,
actually?
Erika (04:56):
I know. I would've
Darielys (04:57):
I don't think I would've left immediately. I
feel like I would've just stayeda little bit and see. Like, I
don't know.
Edgar (05:05):
Yeah. Maybe, like, wait till after dinner.
Darielys (05:07):
Bad because, like, if it's, like, my dad's birthday,
like, I would just stay for himand, like, try to, like, deal
with what I heard later on. Notthat, like it's just it sucks
too, because it was, like, ifdad's birthday, then she heard
that. It was, like, she didn'tknow what to do, so I understand
why she left. Mhmm. But I feellike if it were me, I would have
stayed a little bit and thenleft, obviously.
(05:27):
I wouldn't stay the whole timebecause I'd still have, like,
that in the back
Erika (05:31):
of my head. It would bother me,
Darielys (05:32):
especially if I just lost a kid. That's tough.
Erika (05:36):
Yeah. It doesn't even matter if it's the first,
second, 4th, 5th, 6th child. Youstill lost someone, especially
your child. I think I would'vestayed, but I would've, like,
confronted her.
Darielys (05:48):
Yeah.
Erika (05:49):
I would've literally walked in and be like, so what
are you talking about?
Darielys (05:52):
Say a lot of
Edgar (05:53):
Did you feel like it'd be even worse doing that?
Erika (05:56):
I don't know. I mean, I guess they could have gotten
maybe it's just like they'rejust mad because, you know, they
miss her and
Darielys (06:03):
Mhmm.
Erika (06:04):
Sure they probably expressing it not the right way.
But I think it all comes to aplace where, you know, they're
both frustrated or they're bothsad because they miss each
other. And I think at somepoint, I think talking it out,
maybe this confrontation wouldhelp them talk it out instead of
them being avoidant or her beingavoidant about everybody.
Edgar (06:25):
I feel I feel like it would be, like, a terrible kind
of conversation to have. Feellike he she's just been walking
in on her sister saying that sheshouldn't be sad about a child
that, died. Like, how do youeven go from there?
Darielys (06:36):
I feel like this is an easy fake. They a easy fix. They
just gotta talk it out. Yeah. Ifeel like it's just an easy fix
by just having a conversation.
Erika (06:43):
Well, I mean, some I think it's just one of those
things where it could havecaused or it could be a a a
whole, like, world world worldworld 3, but I don't think so. I
think they understand each other
Edgar (06:58):
a little
Darielys (06:58):
bit more.
Edgar (06:59):
You think, after this day, can patch things up?
Erika (07:03):
Yeah. Mhmm.
Edgar (07:04):
How so? You're still, like, talking to her?
Erika (07:06):
Yeah. Because that's how you understand each other. It's
not like they're coming theyhave, like, malice on their way
they're acting or whatever. It'sjust they're both sad. They're
both you know, she said thatshe's not coming or she's not
able to see her sister thatshe's close to.
And she's sad because she lostsomebody. Mhmm. And she's
grieving. So they're both saddifferent ways, but, you know,
(07:28):
they both wanna be there foreach other. So I don't think
it's gonna be a big deal oncethey talk it out.
Darielys (07:35):
I know. There is, like,
Erika (07:37):
a whole comment. I don't know if you wanna read the top
comment.
Edgar (07:40):
You can read the top comment.
Erika (07:42):
So so the top comment is grief has no limit. Recovery
from miscarriage sucks becausehormones, pain, and suffering
emotionally. The fact that yourfamily thinks you need to
similarly suck it up and getover it is ridiculous. So you
weren't wronged from taking timeto dealing for your loss. Sounds
like they were more focused onyour sister finally getting
(08:04):
pregnant, and they want you todo the same.
It's like, how dare you makeyour miscarriage about yourself?
Don't you know your sister'spregnant? So your sister who has
struggled for infertilityfinally gets pregnant and
decides that a miscarriage isNBD because it happens all the
time and you already have a kid.Your brother is upset because
(08:25):
the family fight wouldn't havehappened if you sucked it up and
stayed. No consequences for yourmom and sister.
Sorry, but hell no. Not theasshole. Ask your sister if she
remembers not being able to getpregnant and ask her to imagine
what she wouldn't have done ifshe overheard you saying she's
probably staying home again. Youknow, she isn't the first woman
(08:47):
to suffer infertility. She canalways adopt if she wants to
have kids so bad.
Yeah. Your sister likely dreadedbeing around pregnant women and
babies because of her struggles,even if she wasn't vocal about
it. But now that she is pregnantand now the only pregnant
sister, she thinks she can lookdown and judge you. Imagine if
it was reversed. I bet yourfamily would be having her over
(09:08):
for dinner and asking her tostay home because you were
pregnant, and it was too hardfor her.
I'm sorry. She is selfish, and Iwouldn't have accept any apology
she gives if she does. Remember,she isn't sorry because she was
wrong of what she said. She issorry she got caught saying it.
And your family is wrong forblaming you for being rightfully
(09:28):
upset because your sister facedthe consequences of voicing her
thoughts out loud.
Question of voicing her thoughtsout loud. Ouch. That's crazy.
That's a
Darielys (09:36):
good one. That's oh my god.
Erika (09:39):
Sounds like a slap in
Edgar (09:39):
the face.
Darielys (09:40):
Cuter.
Erika (09:43):
Woah. That was crazy. I'm I'm guess because I I think
people I don't know. I guessbecause I think about the
relationship I have with mysiblings.
Darielys (09:52):
Mhmm.
Erika (09:52):
Like, if my sister was to say that, I would be hurt, but I
I would get it. You know what Imean? Like, I wouldn't hold it
against them, but not everybodythinks that way. So I get where
the comment, like, the person
Darielys (10:04):
writing the
Erika (10:05):
comment is crazy.
Darielys (10:05):
I mean She went straight to it.
Erika (10:07):
Yes. I mean, she has she has points. She has definitely
points about it. So, I mean, wecould either either either go
good or bad. But, yeah.
I think she does deserve anapology. Mhmm. At least.
Alright. So the next story isEmma the asshole for asking my
husband's family to leave ourwedding after they brought my ex
(10:29):
to sabotage us.
I, 30 male, black, married myhusband, James, 32 white, last
month. It was supposed to be thehappiest day of our lives, but
his family almost ruined it. Forcontext, Jay's family has never
fully accepted me. They madecomments about how different I
am and have openly said they'dwish he'd stay with its ex
(10:51):
girlfriend, Emily. I thoughtthey had finally moved on past
their issues when they showed upto our wedding, but I was wrong.
Halfway through the ceremony, Inoticed Emily sitting in the
front row with James' family. Atfirst, I was confused, but I
didn't wanna cause a scene.After the ceremony, things
became clear. James' mom came upto him and said, are you sure
(11:13):
this is what you want? Emily'shere, and it's not too late to
make things right.
I was standing right there. Icouldn't believe the audacity.
When I confronted her, she actedlike she was doing James a
favor. We just thought he mightwant a reminder of what he's
giving up, she said. James hadchimed in saying, we're just
(11:35):
looking out for his future.
No offense. But we never sawthis relationship lasting. I
defended myself telling themthey were disrespectful
disrespectful for ruining ourday. James' mom brushed me off
saying, we're just being honest.You should be grateful we're
even here.
I lost it. I told him, if youcan't respect our marriage, you
(11:57):
don't need to be here. Jamesoverheard the argument and
immediately backed me up. Hetold me he told them that
bringing Emily to our weddingwas cruel, and if they couldn't
support us, they could leave.His family started arguing,
claiming I was too sensitive inturning James against them.
Emily had the nerve to approachme and say, I didn't mean to
(12:19):
cause trouble. I just wanted tosupport James. I told her she
wasn't welcome, and she left intears. Girl. And now, James'
family is furious.
I ruined the wedding by makingit about drama and but I feel
like I had every right to standup for myself. And mother asked
(12:41):
me for defending myself andasking them to leave.
Darielys (12:44):
No. Mhmm. Absolutely not.
Erika (12:46):
Isn't that crazy?
Darielys (12:48):
And in the front row Oh, my god. The ceremony, when
they they already got marriedand everything, gonna ring. And
then afterwards, the mom comesto I'm so done. I would I would
I would have thrown a fit. Iwould have made a scene.
I I would have made a scenebecause, like, why is she here?
Erika (13:08):
No. If I asked security, I'd be like, can you please
escort them out? I'm like,that's it. Like, I do not wanna
tolerate them. I don't care.
I think and, plus, I I love thatthe husband is supportive of
her. He immediately backed herup. He knew what was going on.
He didn't hear the wholeconversation, but he knew that
his wife was right. He probablyknows his parents too, look
(13:29):
crazy they are.
Mhmm.
Darielys (13:30):
But, like, why would they just bring her and the dad
supporting? No. I didn'tunderstand. I was, like, not the
dad involved with it too. Yeah.
Erika (13:39):
Consistency. They're definitely racist.
Darielys (13:42):
And then her leaving crying, I didn't mean to girl,
yes. You did. That was yourwhole intention to go there and
ruin it. Like, you're the ex.
Erika (13:49):
And then you're crying? Hello.
Darielys (13:53):
She told me that made a
Erika (13:54):
scene? Exactly.
Darielys (13:56):
I know. That's too funny.
Erika (13:58):
No. I definitely think she is not that. So she should I
mean, she kept herself classy.Honestly, she dealt with it,
really well. I don't think shedid anything wrong.
I mean, other people would havebeen pulling hair, saying some
comments, like, you know But,
Darielys (14:16):
like, right when, like, she saw her, like, right
like, right there, we like toknow something. But after the
ceremony so you're telling methey did the whole wedding
process and everything, put thering And then
Erika (14:26):
they came out there. Yeah.
Darielys (14:28):
Yeah. She was holding it. Yeah. But she knew.
Erika (14:32):
I know. No. The parents definitely suck in this one. I I
would really suck having,father-in-law and mother in laws
like that. I think I would havebeen, like, distanced myself
from there from them at allcost.
Yeah. And if I had a baby, theywouldn't even see them. No. So
they could be racist to him
Darielys (14:49):
too? Yeah. No.
Erika (14:50):
I mean, they wouldn't be like, you
Darielys (14:52):
should have a kid with with her instead.
Erika (14:56):
No. That's crazy. No. They're definitely racist. They
don't deserve they don't deserveto be part of the their life, at
least.
I mean, I love that the husbandis there. So at least he's able
she's able to lead on him.
Edgar (15:08):
Yeah. The next story is titled, am I the asshole for
telling my sister that my nephewis not my baby? My sister, 23
female, lives at home and has a6 month old baby. She never
moved in with her boyfriendbecause they lived far away from
each other, and neither of themwanted to compromise. Her baby
daddy never ever comes around.
He's seen this on probably lessthan 30 days total in his entire
(15:31):
life, and because of this, mysister has been treating me, 21
female, and my mom as his otherparent. She expects free
childcare constantly while sheworks and whatnot and gets very
upset when I act hesitant aboutit for whatever reason. Because
she doesn't want to send him togay care, she'd be eligible to
(15:52):
get free childcare on our stay,but doesn't trust it, and I love
my nephew to death, but theseare my child free college years.
I have been parentified andforced to play mommy for my
little siblings for years, andjust when they're getting to the
age that they don't need me somuch, I don't think I should be
(16:12):
forced to step up and play mommyto another child who is in mind.
Especially when I'm on winterbreak for the next couple of
weeks and just want to enjoysleeping in way too late and
being lazy before I've thrownback into full time college.
This has been happening for 4months at this point though. So
when you so when she asked ifI'd watch him tomorrow I got a
(16:37):
bit of an attitude, butultimately said yes, but to do
that she got snappy with me andwas like, why do you always act
like you don't want to do it? Towhich I got upset and responded,
because he's not my kid and Ishouldn't be expected to do this
all the time. She got very angryat me and is now not talking to
me at all, and is surely goingto weaponize my nephew against
(16:59):
me. And to an extent, sure, Iunderstand her anger.
I know that you should be ableto rely on your village and I
don't know if I'm in the wrongfor not wanting to do this, but
I'm so tired of taking care ofother people's children all the
time for free even if I love thekids to death. I can't tell if
I'm being selfish or not. Youmight asshole here. What do you
(17:23):
guys think?
Erika (17:26):
I don't think she is because it's not her
responsibility. Why should shetake care I mean, sure. They're
family. And if she can, sheshould. I mean, if she if she
has the time, but it doesn'tmean that she has to.
It's not her responsibility.Yeah. I mean, ultimately, the
(17:46):
parent's supposed to sure. She'sa single mom, but she has to
figure it out.
Edgar (17:51):
Mhmm.
Erika (17:51):
She is the parent. I mean, you can do as much as to
help and stuff like that, but Iand on at the end of the day,
it's not your child.
Darielys (17:59):
At least pay them something because they're
they're helping you out. Like,it's not like I don't know.
Erika (18:08):
It's hard. I mean
Darielys (18:09):
I know. It's like if you like, you can't say no to
them because, like, it's not thekids' fault either that they
don't have nowhere to go. Andit's like you can't I don't
know. It's a tough situation tobe honest. I don't know.
Erika (18:22):
Yeah. I mean, the tough comment says, so it's not the
asshole but you're still miredmired deep with false sense of
obligation. You need to stepback and have a long hard talk
hard think about what you'rehaving these college years means
to you. What they can be if youlive with them as you want to
(18:42):
and deserve to and then fightfor them because, otherwise, you
won't get to live them and theywill never come back. You will
spend them babysitting and beingbossed around.
Experience you would have had,friends you would have made,
things you would have influencedin the whole your whole life
won't happen. You need to workout just how much babysitting
you are willing to do and thennot do another hour more. You
(19:06):
need to be utterly strict aboutit and take no crap. You don't
need to take care how yoursister tries to punish you with
the moods and whatnot.Ultimately, she is the one who
wants something out of you andanything you give her is
something she should be gratefulfor.
You don't owe her any of it. Sheis the mother. If she feels
entitled to it because you youhave spine made of tofu what? A
(19:32):
spine made of tofu, then shewon't even feel grateful because
you're doing it is a norm andonly to be expected. You giving
in will only be rewarded by herfeeling entitled to it and then
getting angry whenever youaren't sacrificing as much as
you can for her sake all thetime.
I think that's good. Andanything that's honest honestly
true. If I were you, I wouldgive her a minimum of
(19:55):
babysitting bar emergencies andthen be ruthless about having
your time respected andbabysitting cut off for a time
for any infractions. This is theonly way you'll be respected and
appreciated. Your sister willcope.
She will find a way to startmaking her own sacrifices
properly, and she should becauseher baby is her responsibility.
(20:18):
Of course, if manipulating andpressuring you into sharing half
of the load works, she wouldchoose that. But if it doesn't,
she will find her own way. Youjust have to weather out the
storm after you start saying noand mean it, and she reacts by
trying to make it easier for youto give in rather than deal with
all the throw she's throwing atyou. It would end if you stick
(20:41):
up your guns, but there is onlyone light at the end of the
tunnel if you write things out.
Wow. That was crazy. That was alot. She needs to put boundaries
Darielys (20:54):
with, like, her sister or whatever. And then I feel
like once she does that, it'llbe like, she's she's gonna get
mad regardless because of it,but it'll be better for her in
the long run.
Erika (21:06):
I agree. I think she just needs boundaries. And I mean,
she's not saying she's gonna cuther off completely, but she
should just, you know, begrateful that she's able to do
it and that's it and just haveboundaries. I think that's a
good way to look at it. Yeah.
I don't know. But I feel like atleast for Hispanic like, I don't
know, my culture or, like,Ecuadorian. I don't know if it's
(21:27):
a whole thing, but I feel likemy mom has engraved to us. If
your sister needs help, you needto help her. Like
Darielys (21:34):
Oh, yeah. There is
Erika (21:35):
no there is no ifs and buts. And I'm like, well, you
know, you can do as much as youcan. And I'm sure any little
thing, you can help out, theyappreciate it. And they that's
definitely true for them. Theydon't expect you to help them or
get help.
They just, you know, they feelappreciated if you do help.
(21:56):
Which I like that becausethey're not entitled. One is
called Emma the asshole forrefusing to watch my neighbor's
kid before school because shekept nagging me. I, female 35,
am staying at home mom with 2kids. John, male 10, and Ava,
(22:17):
female, 8.
My neighbor Zoe is female, 42,works full time, and asked at
the beginning of the school yearif she could drop off her
daughters to female, 9, an hourbefore school started twice a
week. I agreed and and was happyto help out a neighbor. However,
things got bad pretty quickly.My kids do not get along well
(22:41):
with Sue and see entertainingher as a chore. Both of my kids
enjoy sports, arts, and playingoutside, while Sue is glued to
her phone.
Despite this, Sue pouts when mykids do their own thing instead
of trying to engage with her.Zoe called me a few weeks into
school year to nag me for havingthe kids walk bike to school,
(23:02):
saying it was unsafe and askingme to drive Sue. I told her no.
If Sue was old enough to have aphone, she was old enough to
walk bike to school. A weeklater, she asked me to cook real
sausage for Sue in addition toveggie sausage I make for my
kids.
My husband and I don't buy meat.I told her no. Sue could eat
(23:23):
what I cook, but if she wantedspecific food, she should she
would have to prepare itherself. For the 1st semester of
school, Zoey nagged me withsimilar requests. Don't play
songs with explicit lyrics.
Don't let multiple kids on thetrampoline simultaneously. Watch
the kids when they're outside,etcetera. When I refused, she
(23:44):
was respectful and were like,sorry to bother you, but she
still had a new request everyweek. At the end of the
semester, I told her I was notgoing to make adjustments to our
family lifestyle andinconvenience my family for the
sake of her child. Sue's safetywas not at risk.
As she was unsatisfied withSue's situation, there were
(24:06):
plenty of other people in theneighborhood who could watch
her. So I seemed reallyreceptive, and I was hopeful
that would be the end of thenagging. When the kids got home
on December 20th, I asked, areyou excited for the 2.5 weeks
with no school? And Johnresponded, I'm more excited of
2.5 weeks with no Sue. Avanodded and giggled along.
(24:30):
They it broke my heart to knowthat they were more happy to get
a break from Sue than school.Damn. Just a couple of weeks
ago, days ago, Zoe reached outthanking me for agreeing to
watch Sue and asking if I couldwatch her a couple afternoons in
a week in addition to Zoe couldhave some me time. I told her
(24:53):
this would no longer work. Ourkids did not mesh well, and I
didn't want to deal with moreinappropriate requests.
I thought Zoe might be mad, butinstead she begged me to watch
Sue at least 1 morning a week.She apologized profusely and
said I would parent however Iwanted to. This made me feel bad
because she generally needed myhelp, and I did not know how
(25:15):
know what she would do. I toldher I knew I could, and her
apology was too little too late.Oh, man.
Okay. My husband and the kidsstand by my decision, but some
of the other moms think I shouldhave been more accommodating.
Girl, please. Then you watchher. Exactly.
Saying I'm selfish that momshelp moms, and I'll never know
(25:37):
when I might need help. Does myrefusal to help Zoe make me an
asshole? No.
Darielys (25:47):
I just can't.
Erika (25:48):
Why do you think so? Like, was it too much? Was she
asking for too much?
Darielys (25:53):
I mean, it was just, like, she was just, like, saying
little things repeatedly. Like,I feel like her saying a new
thing every week is kindaannoying because, like, if I'm
taking care of your kid, thatmeans you trust me and the way,
like, I am. So I don't need themtelling me, oh, no. Don't do
this. Don't do that.
Like, if it bothers you thatmuch, just bring your kid to
(26:15):
somebody else that you trust anddon't have to keep nagging about
every little thing. You You knowwhat I mean? Yeah. Like, I I
feel like she just doesn't Imean, I get it. She cares about
her kid and wants everythingperfect, but no.
No. If I'm no. I agree with,what is the the lady that's
taking care of her? Like, thisis how I do it. Like, you're I'm
(26:38):
taking care of her.
This is how it's gonna go.
Erika (26:40):
Yeah. I mean, you're asking for too much. Like, she's
doing you a favor Mhmm. Takingcare of your child, feeding your
child, and getting your childsafely to the house, like, and
you're asking her a request,like, cook her a different meal,
cook her this, or make sure towatch her her safety is
priority. Like, no.
Darielys (27:00):
The trampoline?
Erika (27:01):
Girl, they're cute. So many months ago. It's my god. I
know. I think she's I don'tknow.
But she's asking for too much.Even the kids are tired of it.
Yeah. I don't the probablybecause Sue is also
Darielys (27:15):
I can't with that name. I'm sorry. I was trying
not to laugh when when I foundout her name was Sue. I was
because, like, Sue reminds meof, like, Yeah. Like, I don't it
doesn't remind me of a 9 yearold.
And so I was just yeah.
Erika (27:30):
I don't
Edgar (27:30):
think the old person in a the kid's body.
Erika (27:34):
Well, she's on her phone and she doesn't wanna do
anything else. So, you know,
Darielys (27:37):
the kids
Erika (27:38):
and then she gets upset.
Darielys (27:39):
Like yeah.
Erika (27:40):
If they do not pay attention to her. Like, what do
you mean? Like, go out and play.Don't give her don't give me the
phone.
Darielys (27:45):
If my mom was ever, like, taking care of somebody
like that, I wouldn't wanna talkwith them. Like, I would be
like, okay. Well, they theydon't wanna talk to me so I'm
not gonna talk to them.
Erika (27:53):
Exactly. Yeah. I think she's just asking for too much.
She should've just beenthankful.
Darielys (27:58):
The food wise, like, if she wants her to have real
meats or whatever, prepare
Erika (28:04):
a lunch for her or food or something.
Darielys (28:07):
I don't know. Like, something like that simple. So,
like, when they're all eating,she can just eat whatever her
mom gave her and not whateverthe lady that's taking care of
her is making. I don't know.It's like simple things like
that.
It's just I don't know. Butchanging her, like, whole
routine just for her is kindaannoying. I'd be mad if
Erika (28:25):
my mom ever did that. Like, dude, really?
Darielys (28:28):
I get it, but no. Come on.
Erika (28:30):
Yeah. I mean yeah. I mean, if the kids are that happy
to not be with Sue, it there hasto be something that she doesn't
even know that's going on.Because why would the kids not
like her so much that they'reeven happy to see her. Yeah.
I mean, it doesn't make sense.It's just for the kids to be
that happy to have pizza andspending time with her.
Darielys (28:52):
I know.
Erika (28:53):
Yeah. That's that speaks volumes. So I think she did the
right decision to just, youknow, leave her and say, sorry.
We can't take care of Zoeanymore. You still think she's
an asshole?
Edgar (29:05):
Is it OP? Yeah. Yeah. I hope he isn't.
Erika (29:08):
You think so either? No. Yeah. I agree. Alright.
So the next one.
Edgar (29:13):
Yeah. The next story is titled, you mighty asshole for
announcing that my dad's notpaying my college tuition. My
aunt and uncle are paying for mycousin's college. My dad had a
college fund for me, but he hadstipulations like he he wanted
nothing below a B for grades andto pre approve any classes I
take, weekly meetings to discussgrades, and a bunch of other
(29:33):
stuff, which would be fine ifyou have a normal dad. Mine
isn't.
My dad has a temper and I spent6 weeks out of grade stressed
out about grades and beingscreamed at or grounded over
things that sometimes weren'teven my fault, like a teacher
not updating online grading andan assignment being marked
missing because of it, andgetting my backpack in lock or
(29:56):
randomly searched by him for noreason besides to make sure I'm
not hiding anything. I decidedto pay for school myself because
of 1, not being stressed overgetting screamed at, 2, I didn't
feel like constantly worryingthat he disapprove of a class or
a grade and decide not to pay,which I could totally see him
(30:16):
doing. I'd rather be in thatthan controlled for 4 more
years. I just finished my 1styear, but my family got together
on 4th and well sometimesthey're nosy. They were talking
about my cousin's school and myuncle looked at my dad and said,
well how much is my name schoolcosting you?
I said what are you asking himfor? I'm the one paying for it.
(30:41):
Later on, my dad was pissed offand said that it was out of line
to say that and I embarrassedhim. I didn't do it to embarrass
him. I was just being honest.
He doesn't even know how muchtuition is, so he was the wrong
person to ask. You mightyasshole.
Erika (30:57):
Oh my
Edgar (30:58):
god. Not really. I mean, I I don't think he like, he said
it kinda like in a sassy way,but I don't think
Erika (31:04):
OP meant it. Sassy. Yeah. He was being sassy. Yeah.
Edgar (31:06):
But I don't think OP meant it to be like, oh, my
dad's not paying my tuition.Like, trying to say, like he,
you know, he could've went inmore deep in in and said stuff
about, like, oh, he'scontrolling. I don't want him to
pay for it or, like, he could'vesaid anything else. But instead,
he just says he's not paying forit. They just left it at that.
Erika (31:23):
Yeah. I mean but did you hear how controlling he is?
Edgar (31:27):
Yeah. It's probably, like, too much.
Erika (31:29):
That's a lot. I mean, I don't blame him for wanting his
peace of mind over the that.That's crazy. I don't know.
Edgar (31:35):
I just I think that's too much for school, which I don't
really think is, like, helpinganyone anyways.
Darielys (31:42):
No. Checking his bag is kinda insane.
Edgar (31:45):
Yeah. I mean, what what is he gonna do?
Erika (31:47):
Like, what? Like, are you eating chocolate? Bring candy?
Edgar (31:51):
Like, it's like he's just suffocating his child at that
point. So he's alwayssuffocating beforehand.
Darielys (31:56):
My mom be like that too sometimes.
Edgar (31:57):
Your mom checks your bag?
Darielys (31:58):
No. No. No. Not the bag thing. Like, the grape
thing.
She'd be like, why'd you getthis?
Erika (32:03):
Why did
Darielys (32:03):
you get an a? And I'm just like, dude. I I get, like,
in that part, I I understandbecause my mom's the same way.
Mhmm.
Erika (32:11):
Yeah. I remember trying too in, like, middle school. I
remember I got a b minus or wasit a c plus. I don't know. 1 or
2.
Mhmm. I went there. I was like,what did you get? Yeah. I got
yelled at.
Darielys (32:21):
It was done. It's like it sucks. Yeah.
Erika (32:25):
But, you know, I get it. They're coming from, you know, a
better place trying to get to,you know, get better, understand
better, be in a better, youknow, it's fine, which I I thank
him for everything, you know,but it's gonna you know, I mean,
he's a yell at me. But, anyways,I think, yeah, he's not the
(32:45):
asshole.
Edgar (32:46):
No. Mm-mm. Yeah. Hope he's definitely not the asshole
first. Just I
Darielys (32:50):
mean, he's kinda doing that a favor.
Erika (32:52):
We have
Edgar (32:52):
anything else. That that should
Darielys (32:54):
be happening. He's not paying it. You know what I mean?
Exactly.
Edgar (32:57):
And then that could go on a vacation.
Darielys (32:59):
Yeah. He needs one.
Edgar (33:01):
Yeah. He's doing too much for He
Darielys (33:02):
probably needs one.
Edgar (33:03):
12 years? How long you in grade school for? 12 to 13?
Darielys (33:06):
13, I think.
Edgar (33:07):
Doing too much for 13
Erika (33:08):
years? 13? Yeah. Yeah. That's a long time.
Oh my god.
Edgar (33:12):
He just needs a drink.
Erika (33:13):
He'll be traumatized.
Darielys (33:14):
He needs a drink? Yeah. No. I think he needs a
couple.
Edgar (33:17):
A couple of drinks?
Darielys (33:18):
Yes. He
Edgar (33:18):
needs to be back out for a month.
Erika (33:22):
Yes. Yeah. I think the father needs help. I think well,
you know, if you think about it,I feel like parents are like
that because also their parentswere like that, and it's a
cycle. So they treat their theirchildren like that way because
that's all they know.
So it's just a a cycle thatnever ends. But I'm glad at
least OP was able to, you know,be like, this is not okay. I'm
(33:43):
gonna do this and, you know,take care of it myself. So,
yeah, fair agreement that he wasnot the asshole. Right?
Edgar (33:50):
Yeah, man.
Erika (33:52):
Alright. So the next story is Emma the asshole for
walking out of the airport whenI saw my husband's mom standing
there with her luggage. I,female 30, don't have the best
relationship with my husband'smom. Since day 1, she tried to
make remarks and compare me toher. She then tried to get on my
(34:12):
good side and started overlypraising everything I do and
sometimes even copying me, likethat one time when she literally
dyed her hair purple just likemine.
And when everyone pointed thatout, how ridiculous she looked,
she actually blamed me andaccused me for trying to make a
joke out of her. So crayons. Ohmy gosh. So, anyways, my husband
(34:41):
and I took 2 weeks off work tovisit some places out of the
country, tourism in other words.Thing is, I was the one who
saved up for and arranged forthe trip.
My husband was responsible forbooking the tickets. My
husband's mom wanted to comealong and threw temper tantrums
when I said no. She called,texted, sent people to talk to
(35:04):
me into letting her come, eventhreatened to call the police
and make some complaint up to toto get us to stay if she can't
come. My husband said we shouldjust take her, but I told him he
was wrong to tell her about thetrip in the first place. He gave
me an ultimatum, said hewouldn't go if she can't come,
(35:24):
and I told him I gladly call hisbluff, which made him take his
words back and say, fine.
I will tell her to stop itbecause she won't we won't take
her. Things got quieter, sosuspiciously quieter. The day of
the trip came and we got to theairport at 2 PM. My husband was
walking ahead of me and waslooking left and right like he
(35:46):
was looking for someone. I askedhim, but he didn't respond.
He led me to the waiting areaand the first thing I saw was
his mom standing there with herluggage. I froze in my spot. I
felt cold waves washing over me,and I was fuming inside. She and
(36:08):
my husband were hugging. That'swhen I quietly turned around and
started walking towards theexit.
My husband followed me whileshouting at me to stop. He tried
to stop me, but I told him offthe harshest way possible. He
tried to say I was overreactingand that his mom was there
anyway and I should let her goand not mess this trip up for
(36:28):
us. I told them he and his momcould just go and I was going
home. I went home and sobbedinto my dog's fur for several
minutes.
Turns turned out he booked her aticket without me knowing. An
hour later, he came home yellingand raging about how pathetic
and spiteful I was for walkingout and go home and going home
(36:51):
to ruin the trip last minute. Itold him he caused this to
happen. He said that I was beingso hard on his mom. It's
ridiculous.
I refuse to fight anymore, buthe kept on berating me, then
called my family to tell themthat the trip was canceled and
that it was because of me. Myfamily said that I shouldn't
have ruined it for myself, and Ishould have sucked it up and
(37:12):
done my best to enjoy it. Did Ioverreact?
Darielys (37:16):
Oh my god.
Erika (37:17):
This is so much. Like, literally, I feel rage inside
for her.
Darielys (37:22):
I'd be mad. I'd be really, really mad. Oh.
Erika (37:26):
This is really, really frustrates me. Yes. Like,
internally, I I am mad. Like,I'm really frustrated with her
husband. I would this is divorceworthy.
I'm sorry. This is divorceworthy, and I don't say that
very often because I thinkpeople should work it out, but
hit her their relationship hasalways been his mom being a
(37:48):
third wheel. I So bad. He's amama's boy and like too severely
like it's too much like I somany wrong things happened here
first of all he went behind herback yes Lied to her face,
basically, and then invited hismom and then blamed her for
(38:11):
being mad and leaving. When shealready spoke with him and said,
I don't not want her to comethis is a trip for you and I so
he completely ignored herfeelings her suggestion her
planning that she saved up
Darielys (38:27):
and he only
Erika (38:31):
bought a
Darielys (38:32):
ticket. For his mom?
Erika (38:34):
Yep. So I I find it ridiculous. I think he is sorry.
Excuse of a whole human being.Because he's just he he doesn't
understand what he's doing wrongeither.
He thinks that she is in thewrong, and I don't think he's
ever gonna stink otherwise,which makes it worse. I think
(38:54):
she did OP deserves better, andshe needs to divorce. I'm sorry.
Divorce. And then what pissed meoff the most was she told this
to the family and said sheshould have sucked it up.
Darielys (39:04):
Yeah. What do you mean? Oh, sucked it. Okay. Being
on her husband's side and nother.
Erika (39:12):
No. That's crazy.
Darielys (39:13):
That's messy.
Erika (39:15):
Sorry.
Edgar (39:16):
Why are
Darielys (39:16):
you buying another ticket and gone somewhere else?
Oh, she would have guessed. And,like, just have her own vacation
because she's the one thatarranged it and everything.
Yeah. But she already knows.
Yeah. I would just canceleverything and then I think
start doing her own thing.
Erika (39:29):
She would have said that she canceled the trip but then,
changed her flight and thencould have gone to the trip
herself and liked her on flight.Just shouldn't yeah. That's it.
She still had of, like, enjoyedthe moment, with herself at
least. I think that'sfrustrating.
That's so frustrating.
Darielys (39:45):
Take your dog with you.
Erika (39:46):
Yeah. Go keep it coming. So there isn't, like, a small
update. Well, it's kind of along update.
Darielys (39:52):
Small girl.
Erika (39:54):
So she said, I don't know where to begin. It's been an
absolute nightmare recently andI feel like I am losing my
sanity. For more details aboutmy situation, I have to admit
that my husband's moms favor himover all his siblings. This
affected his relationship withthem and me as well. He's never
seen an issue with howdifferently his mom treats him.
(40:17):
It bothered me and made me feeluncomfortable. The whole dynamic
made me feel uncomfortable.Going low contact has never been
an option. Like, he has to seeher or call her every day. Most
of his siblings don't talk tohim, and I, a 100%, believe it's
because of his mom's favoritism,like I said before.
(40:38):
He does the bear he does bearsome blame for not being seen
how wrong it is till this day.In many instances, I found
myself making excuses for hisbehavior. Even in my post, I did
spontaneously, and I don't knowwhy. But I guess it's because of
how much I love him and becauseI really, really wanted to be
able to work things this workthings out without letting this
(41:01):
affect our marriage. Regardingwhat happened with the trip, he
tried to talk with me and mostof what he said came from a
place of blame.
Blame towards me. I justcouldn't continue with this
argument. I told him I neededspace and that I wouldn't be
going to stay with I would begoing to stay with my sister for
a while. He didn't take it well.He literally got up from the
couch and opened the doortelling me to go right then and
(41:24):
there.
In that moment and seeing how hewas still not even anywhere near
understanding what he has donejust made things perfectly clear
to me. I just had pictured yearsyears of my life being lived
like that, and I was like, nope.I can't do it. Can't take any
more of it more of it,especially when he keeps
(41:45):
focusing on being right everytime. His mom can do no wrong.
I'm always the aggressive,crazy, jealous, pathetic
overreactor. All these people'sopinions, advice, and concerns
were like a spark, like the wakeup call I needed. Though I wish
that it didn't get this far, butwhat is done is done. Right now,
(42:09):
I'm staying with my sister. Ibrought my dog with me as well.
He sent me the last messagetelling me telling me I'm the
one choosing to end what we hadtogether, but I believe it's the
other way around, especiallywith how he keeps making his mom
the victim of this situation.It's become clear now that we
keep going in circles with noend in each and reach. And I'm
(42:31):
just so exhausted andoverwhelmed, and I'm not mad at
him and don't expect it tochange, but at least given
options to decide what's bestfor me and my future even if
it's a separation and divorce.And a big thank you to those who
reached out with me in resourcesthat I feel very, very lucky to
have across. I just wanted togive you an update since many of
you asked for it.
Darielys (42:54):
That's a hard update.
Erika (42:56):
That's crazy. I knew it. This had to be the worst. I'm
sorry. There's just there's justno fixing it because he doesn't
see what he's doing is wrong.
He thinks that
Darielys (43:07):
she's Like, going crazy. Like, he kinda
overreacted in that part. Idon't know. Where he was, like,
going off at her and, like,telling her to get out and
stuff.
Erika (43:16):
Yeah. He It
Darielys (43:17):
was too much. He he opened the door for her? Yeah.
Like, did you want me to leavebefore? It's just like your way
of, like, actually kicking meout and actually having a reason
to.
Like, that's just insane to me.
Erika (43:28):
It's crazy. No. I think there's just no reason rhyme or
reason for him, and there's noother way than his mom being the
victim of the situation becauseshe can't do any wrong at this
point. So I think it's best forher to just let it go.
Darielys (43:44):
Where's her her husband? Where is he at?
Erika (43:47):
I don't know. She maybe I don't know. Because he talk
about it.
Darielys (43:50):
Because like if she doesn't have it in the year or
whatever they pass I don't knowsomething happened then like I
don't know maybe like that's herson is like the only person she
got. I don't know.
Erika (44:00):
Well, she has other siblings.
Darielys (44:02):
Oh my god.
Erika (44:02):
And he's the favorite one too.
Darielys (44:04):
That's so bad.
Erika (44:06):
Yeah. Yeah.
Darielys (44:08):
She feels lonely and that's
Erika (44:09):
the only person she can go to because she lost everybody
else. Yeah. Because because ofher decisions, because of her
choices. So she's really toblame here. She lost her,
because of her decisions and hernagging and her craziness.
She made her son lose hismarriage at this point.
Darielys (44:28):
He didn't even care either. Because if he really
cared, he would have likestopped like every everything or
said something. I don't know.
Erika (44:36):
Yeah. I mean, he would have not invited his his mother
to the trip. That simple.
Darielys (44:41):
No. Why get her a tiki? I still don't understand
that. Yeah. And behind her back.
Erika (44:47):
Yep. Yeah. He's definitely in the wrong he's the
asshole and the mother too.They're both assholes. Okay.
And then next story.
Edgar (44:56):
Okay. The next and final story is titled am I the asshole
for suing my parents for mycollege money? My great aunt set
up saving accounts for all ofher female relatives. In our
culture, education for women isnot really valued, and she
thought that that was bullshit.She lived with her father in
London where she was educated.
(45:18):
She went on to attend universityand became a doctor. She married
a British man, they moved toAmerica, and had a great life.
She founded the education of asmany of her nieces and
grandnieces as she could. Whenshe passed away, she left money
for every girl relative shecould. My parents managed to
access the accounts that was setup for my sister and I.
They used it to pay for mybrother's wedding. My sister
(45:41):
didn't care because she gotmarried 2 years ago out of high
school and had no intention ofgoing to college. When I
graduated, I left to the bank toget money from school and it was
almost all gone. There was like$13,000 left. I asked my parents
about it and they said theyneeded the money.
I finally found out where themoney went. I got furious. I got
(46:03):
student loans and moved out. Iam a great source of shame to
them and I don't give 2 fucks.I'm currently suing them for the
money that was left for me.
My entire family is against me.They all think I am a complete
asshole for airing privatefamily business in public and
that I am putting money ahead ofmy family. My friends are all on
(46:26):
my side, but they are allAmericans and don't really get
my culture. Neither do I, to behonest. My brother called me up
and offered to pay for myuniversity if I dropped a
lawsuit.
I agreed as long as we had alegally binding contract and he
said I was being an asshole fornot trusting him. I said he
(46:46):
should not have accepted mymoney for his wedding. It is
causing all kinds ofembarrassment in our community.
I am somewhat ashamed to bedoing this, but I don't want to
have this debt I should nothave. Am I the asshole?
I do not think so. I think it's,like, crazy to have spent all
that money on a wedding in thefirst place.
Erika (47:08):
Yeah. I don't think she's a asshole either. I think she
should do whatever it takesbecause it's not right for her
parents to use the money thatbelonged to her for a wedding.
Mhmm. I'd be so mad.
For a wedding. I mean, hercollege, you know, would be what
(47:29):
she would have used it for.Yeah. And her parents using it
without her permission is crazyto me. Yeah.
Edgar (47:34):
They basically stole it.
Darielys (47:36):
Mhmm.
Edgar (47:36):
Well, they actually stole it.
Erika (47:38):
They did because they took she already left $13,000.
That's a lot.
Edgar (47:42):
Mhmm. Wow.
Erika (47:44):
Yeah. She's not that asshole. She definitely should
go for it in regardless what thefamily thinks. Who cares? It's
not like they took their hertheir money.
I'm sure they would be pissedoff too. Mhmm. So that's why
they're like, oh, why are youdoing like that? Well, because
they didn't take your money.That's why.
So yeah. I think she should'vetotally done that. And then the
brother being asshole toosaying, oh, you don't trust me?
(48:05):
Of course not. And after myparents lied to me and took the
parent my money for yourwedding, and then you're asking,
oh, word-of-mouth, like, oh, Ipromise to give it to you.
No.
Edgar (48:14):
I know. Yeah. I can't believe he like, I think he was
trying to show her.
Darielys (48:17):
That's not
Edgar (48:17):
Like, he thought that he was, like, that she was dumb.
Erika (48:19):
Yeah. I think he was trying to help his parents
because of the whole weddingthing and be like, oh, no. I'm
not gonna give it to you. Yeah.A 100%.
I have I feel like that's mythat's my instinct.
Darielys (48:30):
I know.
Erika (48:31):
Yeah. I think all his all her families are assholes.
Edgar (48:34):
Yeah. He's she's gonna get, like, a lot of money from
that, hopefully.
Erika (48:37):
Yes. I hope hopefully, she does. More than 3 13,000.
Edgar (48:41):
No. That was what was left of the bank account.
Erika (48:43):
Yeah. So imagine What was left? Yeah.
Darielys (48:45):
How much did they take?
Edgar (48:46):
100 of 1,000 probably.
Darielys (48:48):
Oh my god.
Edgar (48:49):
Like, that's, like, so irresponsible. Like
Erika (48:52):
For a wedding? Come on, people.
Darielys (48:54):
They 2,000 isn't even enough for college Mhmm.
Depending on what she gonnastudy on. Yeah. That's not
enough.
Edgar (48:59):
The parents took 2 accounts for her money like
that.
Darielys (49:02):
That's insane.
Erika (49:02):
And they're sisters too, remember? They'll just even care
because she is already marriedand whatever. Mhmm. But yeah.
Can you believe it?
How much money they spent?
Darielys (49:12):
Does the brother not have money?
Edgar (49:14):
No. For
Darielys (49:15):
his own wedding? Then why are you guys getting married
if you guys don't have themoney?
Erika (49:18):
That's crazy. That's favoritism right there. Probably
sex offender. That's ridiculous.Because depending on their
culture
Darielys (49:24):
or whatever.
Erika (49:24):
What's that? Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Because it might be
that too.
Edgar (49:29):
It's ridiculous.
Erika (49:30):
Sex is per preferential treatment. Yeah. Yeah.
Darielys (49:32):
I know. That's
Erika (49:34):
Yeah. So she's not the asshole bullfrog a girl. I hope
you get the money back and moreand then some. Triple. Exactly.
Alright. So that concludes ourepisode. Thank you for joining
us. We'll see you next week.Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Come hang with Amy Poehler. Each week on her podcast, she'll welcome celebrities and fun people to her studio. They'll share stories about their careers, mutual friends, shared enthusiasms, and most importantly, what's been making them laugh. This podcast is not about trying to make you better or giving advice. Amy just wants to have a good time.