November 30, 2023 • 23 mins
Imagine a world where setbacks become stepping stones and self-doubt gives way to self-assurance. That's the power of positive self-talk, a tool we all possess but often underutilize. Join us as we delve into the profound effects our internal dialogue has on our lives, shaping not just our outlook but the very essence of our personality. Uncover the stark contrast between positive and negative self-talk, and learn how to harness this power to boost your self-esteem and motivation.
Venturing deeper into the realm of positive self-talk, we share personal stories and experiences, painting a vivid picture of its transformative potential. We showcase how a positive mindset can turn every roadblock into an opportunity for growth, pushing you closer to your goals one step at a time. Our journey through the maze of self-talk will extend beyond mere theory, offering real-life examples and practical tips to help you replace any lingering negativity with constructive self-dialogue.
Wrapping up, we draw inspiration from the world of sports, specifically basketball, to demonstrate how small steps and persistent practice can yield remarkable results. Much like mastering the art of shooting three-pointers, personal growth too is a journey of gradual progression. We encourage you to seize every opportunity to learn and grow, to create your own narrative with optimism at its core. So tune in, get inspired, and let's embark on this journey towards positivity and personal growth together!"
Note: There were no guests mentioned in the in-depth overview. Hence, no guests have been mentioned in the show notes summary.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We have this show where we'll talk about
informative issues, issues thatwill make you think and help you
grow.
It is our wish that you willfind hope, encouragement and a
little visit to Jesus in everyepisode.
Hello, debbie, here, gregsitting next to me, hello, and
we are going to spend our timetoday talking about positive
(00:22):
self-talk.
Specifically, what are thebenefits?
I mean, I'm sorry, what it iswhat are the benefits and how we
can improve on our positiveself-talk, because we can't get
enough of that.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
No, never.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Last week, if you listened in, we focused on
negative self-talk and you'llhear a little bit of overlay or
repeat of some of the things wetalked about last week, but
that's good, because that willhelp reinforce the information
that we're giving you.
So there's so much power in ourthoughts.
(01:02):
We do a whole lot of good withthem, but we can also do a whole
lot of bad with them, and ourwords have huge, huge impacts on
the kind of life that we'regonna live and the kind of
person that we're gonna be.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I was gonna say, yeah , thoughts are important, but
words are extremely important aswell, but you backed that up
perfectly, so I agree completely.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So why don't we start with the first point that we
wanted to share today?
And so, what is self-negative?
What is positive self-talk?
So this is an internal dialogue.
Again, it's like negativeself-talk.
You got that internal dialoguegoing on that makes you feel
good about yourself and itmotivates you to help think
(01:50):
optimistically.
So if you break that down, thatmeans let's be, it'll help you
be happier.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Happier, I'm sorry, stumbling over my words.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
No, I get it.
I hope it'll help you be moreconfident about the future.
You just think more positivelyyou do You're in just so much of
a different space than you arewhen you're in negative
self-talk a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So again, just to sort of say that it just
motivates us, to help us tothink optimistically, to be
hopeful and confident about ourfuture.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And I think people like to be around people that
are really positive and stufflike that too.
I had a buddy in high schoolI'm not gonna say his real name,
cause yeah and he was alwayspositive, Every single day.
He'd walk into English classand he would just be like hey
man, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Like super uptight, super happy and stuff like that
Uptight up, up, capped, happy Idon't know, yeah, okay, but not
uptight, no, not uptight, no,just super happy and like up.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
He was just happy.
He was like a really happybully, I guess, and people would
just like to be around himcause he was funny, he was super
down to earth and he was justyeah, everyone loved him because
he was like so funny and happyand like if you were having a
really crappy day, hang out nextto him.
Your day will be five timesbetter instantly.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I love being around people like that Exactly same.
So that's why I mentioned him.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So yeah, it's really important and people notice so,
cause I remembered him and yeahyou still remember him.
I do yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Okay and so anyway, positive self-talk it helps you
to feel just good about yourself, better about yourself.
So I have some examples I'dwanted to share with y'all and
it'll just kind of get your mindgoing.
So here's positive self-talkWell, this is gonna be
challenging.
Versus negative, Well, that'sjust too difficult.
(03:54):
Or I will give it my best shot,versus I cannot do it.
If I mess up, I will learn fromit.
I always mess things up.
I'm open to change.
I've always been this way.
I wanna succeed.
I'll probably fail.
(04:15):
Are you guys following me?
I'm reading the positiveself-talk and I'm comparing it
to a negative statement.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Every single negative statement that you said you
fail before you even tried.
I'm gonna fail at this.
I'm not gonna do well.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Right, I'm gonna mess this up.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It's gonna be too difficult, like you're telling
yourself that you're gonna fail.
Mess up, it's too difficult.
You can't do this every singletime there you go, you're gonna
believe that or you're justgonna be a nervous wreck.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, yeah, that's hard to live your life that way.
Yeah, I wanna keep goingbecause I don't want this.
Positive would be I wannasucceed oh, I think I did that
one.
The negative would be oh, I'lljust probably fail.
I'm lucky.
My life could be worse.
I have nothing good in my life.
(05:06):
I wanna learn.
I don't know how to do it so Iwon't try.
So you can see the I mean gosh,yeah, it's like I get chills
thinking about it.
If I said all those things tome all the time on the negative
side, that yeah, where would Ibe?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Down low Right.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
So if we tend to be a negative self-talker, we have
to have the courage to startlooking at that positive talk,
because it will change your life.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Mm-hmm completely.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, all right, let's go on to the next point,
which are the benefits ofpositive self-talk.
So research shows that positiveself-talk can improve our
self-esteem, it can managestress and well-being, and it
(05:57):
can reduce signs of anxiety anddepression.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And it helps with confidence.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Helps with confidence Absolutely.
Thank you for adding that.
I love it.
So those are the benefits.
Now I don't know about you, butI want those.
I mean, I'm you know there wasa time in my life that I did
struggle with this.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Really.
I mean, I was in middle schooland high school was having
issues with my hair falling out,and it got so bad where I had
to actually just wear a scarf onmy head all the time to cover
just cover the balding areas.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
So yes, I did not have good peer support.
I was pretty much a loner a lotyeah.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
And you probably did a lot of negative self-talk in
the mirror and stuff like thatAbsolutely.
It couldn't have been good foryourself.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Right, and on top of that I didn't have parents I
could go to and really expresshow I was feeling, because we
didn't talk about feelings.
I didn't even know how toexpress my feelings.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
So just a big example Now, today, I feel amazing, I
feel, you know, like you're opento talk about stuff like that?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I am.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And I love I don't get down on myself.
Yeah, I do find the positiveout of the negatives and the
hard and the.
You know all that and I'm ahappy person, yeah, so, anyway,
all right.
So there's that.
And then there's five ways that.
What is my thought here?
(07:31):
I'm sorry I got two into my ownpersonal life.
Five benefits Okay, they help.
So positive self-talk will helpimprove our self-esteem and how
we feel about ourselves.
Right, so you'll feel betterabout yourself.
It encourages you and itmotivates you.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Completely.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And totally see that when we talk about the list of
the positive self-talk versusnegative- I can see how I would
be so put down over here.
On the negative side of allthese comments here, and then
all the positive self-talk, I amuplifted and I'm ready to go.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
The way I can see positive self-talk in my head is
like you're sitting on a cloudright and you're kind of
hovering right now, but eachtime you tell yourself something
great it kind of boostsyourself up and you're just
getting boosted up on that cloud.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Like you jump from cloud to cloud.
I mean, yeah, sure.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I guess the cloud just raises higher.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I love it.
Or that is like a balloon yeah,yeah, elevator, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That's good, I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It's a good image and another benefit is it will
reduce anxiety and depression.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Completely.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
So because you're thinking differently.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, you're telling yourself positive stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Instead of negative yes, and negative stuff will
bring you down.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, it eats away at you.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Mm-hmm.
It improves body image.
There's this people, youngpeople, struggle I mean a lot of
people struggle with body imageand this can help.
Positive self-talk can help youJust get to the place where you
want to be with your body.
Except where you are with yourbody, love your body.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Mm-hmm, it's.
Yeah, it's good to boostyourself up about yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And to be comfortable with yourself too.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Like looking in the mirror at the start of the gym.
It's like I have some stuff Iwant to work on but I know I can
get there.
Yeah, it's going to be ajourney, but I'm going to get
rid of this fat or whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So just boosting yourself up.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
The gym's a great place for that.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah, and another benefit is making you feel more
like you're in control of yourlife Because you're going to
have more confidence, you'regoing to have more self-esteem,
higher self-esteem, mm-hmm.
And these leads to those kindof feelings Like I'm in control
of my life.
I'm going to achieve the goalsthat I want to do.
You know my life, you know I'min control of my life.
(09:58):
I love that.
I just love that, and that'swhere you want to be.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
So much benefit in looking at yourself in a
positive light and finding waysto ward that for yourself.
Yeah, that make you successful.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
There's no downside to just thinking positive all
the time and like trying to findthe best out of the worst
situations.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Absolutely.
That is really.
I'm glad you threw that inthere, because this isn't only
just about ourselves, but it canbe about other things in life,
right?
We all get handed hard times.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I feel like Antlin is like that she's always just
happy you know, oh, and withthat we're going to go see in
Virginia.
Yeah, yeah, she's always justyou know she's not there.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
How does she do that?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
She's always just so happy, and if something goes
wrong, oh, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
We'll figure something else out.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
It's all good, I know .
Speaker 1 (10:48):
And then when, uncle, Allen, uncle Allen, like I
remember, last time we werethere, chase broke the Q stick
and so you know, I said, well,you got to go tell Uncle Allen
and you just let him know you'regoing to pay for it.
And when he, you know, he goesin there to tell Uncle Allen.
In the kitchen, uncle Allen waslike well, tell me how that
happened, you know, or somethingto that effect.
It was like it's kind ofinterrogation there, instead of
(11:10):
oh, you know what, that's okay,stuff happens right, like Antlin
would have been.
And then of course we wouldhave offered to pay for it
anyway.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
But you know, it's just a different, yeah, but
that's good.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And then, another final benefit is that you
motivate.
You're motivated to overcomeobstacles.
So what I'm trying to say isthat it allows you to see the
setbacks.
That setbacks are justtemporary and they're learning
opportunities, as you weresaying, and you know, rather
than being unsurmountable,unsurpassable obstacles.
(11:48):
I think I made up a word there,I don't know.
You made something out of it,anyway, but see, I made a
mistake and I could laugh aboutit.
It's okay.
Yeah, made a mistake.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
There you go.
Learn from this one.
Yeah, and there you go.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Just learn now to say it the right way and it's all
good.
So motivate again.
Motivate yourself to, or itmotivates you to, overcome
obstacles.
Aldo, Is that clear?
I think I mumbled my words.
It allows you to see thesetbacks, that setbacks are just
(12:26):
temporary and they're learningopportunities rather than big
obstacles that you can'tovercome.
And I always kind of look atthat when I'm faced with a
really tough time or faced withsomething hard.
I, as a steadfast believer inChrist, know that when I am
faced with hard things, that Godis going to bring something
(12:48):
really good out of those thingsfor me and learning
opportunities, healingrelationships, you know,
whatever they can, it will bepositive that comes out of it.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Well then, yeah then, never stay in that negative
mind space for a long time,since you know something
positive is going to come out ofit and God will be happy.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Alright, and then moving on to our last point,
which is improving our self-talk.
So there's something called thethree C's of negative self-talk
, and the first one is catchingyourself, the second one is
checking it and the third one ischanging it.
(13:32):
So when we have negativeself-talk going on and here's an
opportunity for you right now,and we'll make this a call to
action as well so what are yourthoughts and are they helping
you?
What type of negative self-talkpops up for you?
(13:55):
Do you see something kind ofrepetitive that keeps coming up?
Those are the kind of thingsthat you want to start inquiring
internally on, you know, askingyourself those questions.
What pops up for me?
A lot for a negative self-talk.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
We were kind of discussing this ahead of time.
You were asking me for anexample or something like that,
so that we could use the threeC's.
And it didn't even really.
I didn't even have to thinkhard about it.
I went back in time, basicallyin my head, and I just went oh,
eighth grade basketball tryoutsright before it.
I don't know why.
(14:31):
I think because there was a lotmore kids that were trying to
join the eighth grade team and abunch of their, the kids that
were there, I didn't like so,like a bunch of boys that were
super mean.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
They were mean.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
So I think I just had insane like social anxiety
going in there too, absolutely.
So my self-talk was like really, it was really harsh on myself,
I'm pretty sure Do you remember?
Not really what I was saying.
I remember the tryouts and allthat stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
But you don't remember what you were really
telling yourself.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
No, I just know, I was like a nervous wreck before.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I was all freaking out and palms are all sweaty and
stuff.
You couldn't grip thebasketball right I?
Speaker 1 (15:11):
can only imagine just kind of knowing the history of
some of this.
But like I'm not gonna do, well, I'm gonna be left at.
I'm going to be.
I just you know.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I wanted to be on that team.
So bad that year.
I know you were good.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I know so, and this is it.
That was your defeat.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That was your defeat.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It was.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Sad to say.
Anyway, so let's go, so socatching yourself.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Catching yourself in negative self-talk.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah, what your thoughts are.
So be aware of what you say toyourself, and the first step is
recognizing that you havenegative thoughts, and then ask
yourself if you would talk tosomeone else that way.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
So if you say, you know you're going to go out
there and I'm, you know I'm notgoing to do well, You're going
to miss every shot, you're goingto fail all the drills and
you're going to slip in therunning practice If you tell
your buddy that right beforethat.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Yeah, it's like well, that's really encouraging.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Thanks for the help man, thanks for the emotional
support.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
So we, yeah, so that's why we need to stay away
from that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I always love that friend.
You know, imagine you sayingthat to somebody else.
That is so good.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
It really is.
And even when I came back atlike a three droughts I don't
even think I was I realized Iwas like doing all this negative
self-talk and I was like anervous wreck.
I thought I was just likenervous, or something like that.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I was so tough on myself.
I think, yeah, I kind of can'tremember like doing drills and
stuff and I'd miss a shot.
I was so tough on myselfbecause I expected myself to be
perfect, you know tip top or notperfect, but you know
performing at my best orwhatever.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, but still perfect.
A lot of people get caught upin that they get to be perfect
Like there's no in between, likeeither I'm good or I'm bad.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah and that's just not reality.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So okay, well, let's take that example, then, and
let's you know, check it, Idon't know.
I guess I said you know I'meither.
I have to be perfect.
That means I always have to begood.
Well, always is one of thosewords that you can't really say
always, never.
It's just so absolute, it'simpossible.
There's no way to have anywiggle room in there.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Exactly so.
It's impossible.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Right.
So so just really check again.
You know, check your reality.
How real is it?
So give me some other examplesof what you were saying that you
might have been thinking if youwere actually analyzing your
self-talk.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Let's say I'm at the free throw line and I have two
shots at the free throw line andall the kids are at the behind
the back board of the rim.
I miss my first shot, bouncesoff the rim Dang it.
I should have made that stupid,me I miss the second shot.
Come on Greg.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Oh man, beat yourself up.
Yeah, stuff like that, so dobetter.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Come on, what's up with you, something like that.
So, because I put so muchpressure on myself, I think
beforehand to you know, performreally well.
So, in putting that pressure onyourself.
It's really not healthy.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
No, it's not Well, and that's kind of reinforcing
with positive stuff.
Right.
And then kind of, how would you, how would you check?
You know, so you're checkingthat, you're looking at what
you're saying.
How would you change that?
It'd be like, look, I haven't abad day here.
You know this is, you know I, IOkay, I missed the two shots,
you're having a bad day.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yeah, if I was doing a positive, I take the first
shot.
All right, well, I can make thesecond one.
At least I missed the secondone.
All right, well, I'm gonna haveto do better on these three
pointers and the layups and allthat stuff, because I just
missed both of these, so justput more pressure on yourself
for other areas.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Don't act like you have to be perfect in everything
.
Right, right, right.
I like that.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Be like.
Well, I'll make up for thesemissed shots by performing way
better in the three-pointshooting or the layup drills.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
So yeah, so wonderful .
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, that's how I do it.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
All right.
Well, I think that was reallyhelpful to walk through that
example and again you get theidea.
You got to catch yourself first.
You got to be paying attentionto what what you're saying
negative about yourself, andwhen that pops up for you most
often maybe just start.
Start there and it's justhelping me.
Are these thoughts helping me?
I think that's just onequestion that I always keep in
(19:44):
my head.
Is this helpful?
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Why am I?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
beating myself up over this Right Right.
Okay, so it happened or I'mthinking.
I'm thinking this is gonnahappen and then checking it.
I'm thinking about what you'rethinking and how unreal a lot of
times our thoughts are sounrealistic it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I know it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And we expect so much of ourselves and unimaginable.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
We're so tough on ourselves.
Yeah, insanely tough.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, and again using those words like okay, am I
saying never, or I'll probablynever make this shot when you're
up at that line.
You don't want to go there.
You know I've got this, gotthis.
If I don't, it's okay.
Yeah you know, that kind ofthing I'll do better on the next
thing I do, and then you knowchanging it.
(20:35):
So catching yourself checkingit changing your thinking.
Yeah, I'll do better at thenext the next drill drill.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
So anyway, yeah, so don't, don't let your now your
negative self-talk get you down.
That's really kind of the goalof that little exercise that we
did.
And and just to push yourselfup and boost yourself up stay on
that positive self-talk Sidewhere you know this is gonna be
(21:06):
challenging or I'm gonna do mybest at this.
You know, if I mess up I'mgonna learn from it.
I am open to change.
I want to succeed, I can.
You know, my life could beworse.
I'm lucky here, you know.
I want to learn all those, allthose great things.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
So it just sounds like you have hope.
So yeah, keep hope, keep hope.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Anyway.
Well, what's our call to action?
Greg, let's.
What would we like?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I didn't recognize when you're Excuse me talking
negative versus when you'retalking positive, and try to
overpower the negative with thepositive.
I like that, Well said let'ssay you realize you're talking
50% negative, 50% positive aboutyourself.
Try to make that change to 90,10 and then eventually 100%
(21:55):
positive.
So just work on it, small steps, baby steps.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, that's how we just always work for improvement
.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah, just small steps, because, yeah, take your
time with it, but don't be tooharsh on yourself, like I said.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Accept yourself for where you're at.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, so we all start somewhere.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Yeah, and it's kind of like in basketball you didn't
get to a point where you couldthrow.
You mean, you're pretty good atthose three, three throws or
three, three pointers.
Yeah, you didn't start there.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
No, you start with very close.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You didn't start there and you're not.
You're all gonna not gonnastart.
You know with.
You know big improvements onthe negative cell top.
But you're gonna start now.
Yeah, and you're gonna makeimprovements and you're gonna
keep going and keep working onthis and it's gonna make a big
impact on your life.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Like I said, yeah, learning to shoot threes, it was
baby steps.
Right under the rim.
You do 50 shots right under therim.
You take two steps back, mm-hmm.
Hundred shots under the rim.
Two steps back, 150 shots underthe rim and then you keep going
back and if you mess up Allthose shots, you start over and
you go to the very beginning.
Yeah, so it's like you putyourself in a situation to just
(23:01):
learn and expand.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Wow, thank you for sharing that.
That was wonderful, all right,well, thank you for listening
and Leave some comments on whaty'all thought yeah, love to your
reviews here.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, so, anyway, well, you all have a great rest
of your day and we will be backAgain real soon with some more.
How do we make ourselves feelbetter?
Yeah, information exactly allright, take care, bye, bye.
We have this show where we'll talk about
informative issues, issues thatwill make you think and help you
grow.
It is our wish that you willfind hope, encouragement and a
little visit to Jesus in everyepisode.
Hello, debbie, here, gregsitting next to me, hello, and
we are going to spend our timetoday talking about positive
(00:22):
self-talk.
Specifically, what are thebenefits?
I mean, I'm sorry, what it iswhat are the benefits and how we
can improve on our positiveself-talk, because we can't get
enough of that.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
No, never.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Last week, if you listened in, we focused on
negative self-talk and you'llhear a little bit of overlay or
repeat of some of the things wetalked about last week, but
that's good, because that willhelp reinforce the information
that we're giving you.
So there's so much power in ourthoughts.
(01:02):
We do a whole lot of good withthem, but we can also do a whole
lot of bad with them, and ourwords have huge, huge impacts on
the kind of life that we'regonna live and the kind of
person that we're gonna be.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I was gonna say, yeah , thoughts are important, but
words are extremely important aswell, but you backed that up
perfectly, so I agree completely.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So why don't we start with the first point that we
wanted to share today?
And so, what is self-negative?
What is positive self-talk?
So this is an internal dialogue.
Again, it's like negativeself-talk.
You got that internal dialoguegoing on that makes you feel
good about yourself and itmotivates you to help think
(01:50):
optimistically.
So if you break that down, thatmeans let's be, it'll help you
be happier.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Happier, I'm sorry, stumbling over my words.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
No, I get it.
I hope it'll help you be moreconfident about the future.
You just think more positivelyyou do You're in just so much of
a different space than you arewhen you're in negative
self-talk a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So again, just to sort of say that it just
motivates us, to help us tothink optimistically, to be
hopeful and confident about ourfuture.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And I think people like to be around people that
are really positive and stufflike that too.
I had a buddy in high schoolI'm not gonna say his real name,
cause yeah and he was alwayspositive, Every single day.
He'd walk into English classand he would just be like hey
man, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Like super uptight, super happy and stuff like that
Uptight up, up, capped, happy Idon't know, yeah, okay, but not
uptight, no, not uptight, no,just super happy and like up.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
He was just happy.
He was like a really happybully, I guess, and people would
just like to be around himcause he was funny, he was super
down to earth and he was justyeah, everyone loved him because
he was like so funny and happyand like if you were having a
really crappy day, hang out nextto him.
Your day will be five timesbetter instantly.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I love being around people like that Exactly same.
So that's why I mentioned him.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So yeah, it's really important and people notice so,
cause I remembered him and yeahyou still remember him.
I do yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Okay and so anyway, positive self-talk it helps you
to feel just good about yourself, better about yourself.
So I have some examples I'dwanted to share with y'all and
it'll just kind of get your mindgoing.
So here's positive self-talkWell, this is gonna be
challenging.
Versus negative, Well, that'sjust too difficult.
(03:54):
Or I will give it my best shot,versus I cannot do it.
If I mess up, I will learn fromit.
I always mess things up.
I'm open to change.
I've always been this way.
I wanna succeed.
I'll probably fail.
(04:15):
Are you guys following me?
I'm reading the positiveself-talk and I'm comparing it
to a negative statement.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Every single negative statement that you said you
fail before you even tried.
I'm gonna fail at this.
I'm not gonna do well.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Right, I'm gonna mess this up.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
It's gonna be too difficult, like you're telling
yourself that you're gonna fail.
Mess up, it's too difficult.
You can't do this every singletime there you go, you're gonna
believe that or you're justgonna be a nervous wreck.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, yeah, that's hard to live your life that way.
Yeah, I wanna keep goingbecause I don't want this.
Positive would be I wannasucceed oh, I think I did that
one.
The negative would be oh, I'lljust probably fail.
I'm lucky.
My life could be worse.
I have nothing good in my life.
(05:06):
I wanna learn.
I don't know how to do it so Iwon't try.
So you can see the I mean gosh,yeah, it's like I get chills
thinking about it.
If I said all those things tome all the time on the negative
side, that yeah, where would Ibe?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Down low Right.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
So if we tend to be a negative self-talker, we have
to have the courage to startlooking at that positive talk,
because it will change your life.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Mm-hmm completely.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, all right, let's go on to the next point,
which are the benefits ofpositive self-talk.
So research shows that positiveself-talk can improve our
self-esteem, it can managestress and well-being, and it
(05:57):
can reduce signs of anxiety anddepression.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And it helps with confidence.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Helps with confidence Absolutely.
Thank you for adding that.
I love it.
So those are the benefits.
Now I don't know about you, butI want those.
I mean, I'm you know there wasa time in my life that I did
struggle with this.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Really.
I mean, I was in middle schooland high school was having
issues with my hair falling out,and it got so bad where I had
to actually just wear a scarf onmy head all the time to cover
just cover the balding areas.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
So yes, I did not have good peer support.
I was pretty much a loner a lotyeah.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
And you probably did a lot of negative self-talk in
the mirror and stuff like thatAbsolutely.
It couldn't have been good foryourself.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Right, and on top of that I didn't have parents I
could go to and really expresshow I was feeling, because we
didn't talk about feelings.
I didn't even know how toexpress my feelings.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
So just a big example Now, today, I feel amazing, I
feel, you know, like you're opento talk about stuff like that?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I am.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And I love I don't get down on myself.
Yeah, I do find the positiveout of the negatives and the
hard and the.
You know all that and I'm ahappy person, yeah, so, anyway,
all right.
So there's that.
And then there's five ways that.
What is my thought here?
(07:31):
I'm sorry I got two into my ownpersonal life.
Five benefits Okay, they help.
So positive self-talk will helpimprove our self-esteem and how
we feel about ourselves.
Right, so you'll feel betterabout yourself.
It encourages you and itmotivates you.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Completely.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And totally see that when we talk about the list of
the positive self-talk versusnegative- I can see how I would
be so put down over here.
On the negative side of allthese comments here, and then
all the positive self-talk, I amuplifted and I'm ready to go.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
The way I can see positive self-talk in my head is
like you're sitting on a cloudright and you're kind of
hovering right now, but eachtime you tell yourself something
great it kind of boostsyourself up and you're just
getting boosted up on that cloud.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Like you jump from cloud to cloud.
I mean, yeah, sure.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I guess the cloud just raises higher.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I love it.
Or that is like a balloon yeah,yeah, elevator, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That's good, I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It's a good image and another benefit is it will
reduce anxiety and depression.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Completely.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
So because you're thinking differently.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah, you're telling yourself positive stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Instead of negative yes, and negative stuff will
bring you down.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, it eats away at you.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Mm-hmm.
It improves body image.
There's this people, youngpeople, struggle I mean a lot of
people struggle with body imageand this can help.
Positive self-talk can help youJust get to the place where you
want to be with your body.
Except where you are with yourbody, love your body.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Mm-hmm, it's.
Yeah, it's good to boostyourself up about yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And to be comfortable with yourself too.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Like looking in the mirror at the start of the gym.
It's like I have some stuff Iwant to work on but I know I can
get there.
Yeah, it's going to be ajourney, but I'm going to get
rid of this fat or whatever.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So just boosting yourself up.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
The gym's a great place for that.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah, and another benefit is making you feel more
like you're in control of yourlife Because you're going to
have more confidence, you'regoing to have more self-esteem,
higher self-esteem, mm-hmm.
And these leads to those kindof feelings Like I'm in control
of my life.
I'm going to achieve the goalsthat I want to do.
You know my life, you know I'min control of my life.
(09:58):
I love that.
I just love that, and that'swhere you want to be.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
So much benefit in looking at yourself in a
positive light and finding waysto ward that for yourself.
Yeah, that make you successful.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
There's no downside to just thinking positive all
the time and like trying to findthe best out of the worst
situations.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Absolutely.
That is really.
I'm glad you threw that inthere, because this isn't only
just about ourselves, but it canbe about other things in life,
right?
We all get handed hard times.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I feel like Antlin is like that she's always just
happy you know, oh, and withthat we're going to go see in
Virginia.
Yeah, yeah, she's always justyou know she's not there.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
How does she do that?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
She's always just so happy, and if something goes
wrong, oh, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
We'll figure something else out.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
It's all good, I know .
Speaker 1 (10:48):
And then when, uncle, Allen, uncle Allen, like I
remember, last time we werethere, chase broke the Q stick
and so you know, I said, well,you got to go tell Uncle Allen
and you just let him know you'regoing to pay for it.
And when he, you know, he goesin there to tell Uncle Allen.
In the kitchen, uncle Allen waslike well, tell me how that
happened, you know, or somethingto that effect.
It was like it's kind ofinterrogation there, instead of
(11:10):
oh, you know what, that's okay,stuff happens right, like Antlin
would have been.
And then of course we wouldhave offered to pay for it
anyway.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
But you know, it's just a different, yeah, but
that's good.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And then, another final benefit is that you
motivate.
You're motivated to overcomeobstacles.
So what I'm trying to say isthat it allows you to see the
setbacks.
That setbacks are justtemporary and they're learning
opportunities, as you weresaying, and you know, rather
than being unsurmountable,unsurpassable obstacles.
(11:48):
I think I made up a word there,I don't know.
You made something out of it,anyway, but see, I made a
mistake and I could laugh aboutit.
It's okay.
Yeah, made a mistake.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
There you go.
Learn from this one.
Yeah, and there you go.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Just learn now to say it the right way and it's all
good.
So motivate again.
Motivate yourself to, or itmotivates you to, overcome
obstacles.
Aldo, Is that clear?
I think I mumbled my words.
It allows you to see thesetbacks, that setbacks are just
(12:26):
temporary and they're learningopportunities rather than big
obstacles that you can'tovercome.
And I always kind of look atthat when I'm faced with a
really tough time or faced withsomething hard.
I, as a steadfast believer inChrist, know that when I am
faced with hard things, that Godis going to bring something
(12:48):
really good out of those thingsfor me and learning
opportunities, healingrelationships, you know,
whatever they can, it will bepositive that comes out of it.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Well then, yeah then, never stay in that negative
mind space for a long time,since you know something
positive is going to come out ofit and God will be happy.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Alright, and then moving on to our last point,
which is improving our self-talk.
So there's something called thethree C's of negative self-talk
, and the first one is catchingyourself, the second one is
checking it and the third one ischanging it.
(13:32):
So when we have negativeself-talk going on and here's an
opportunity for you right now,and we'll make this a call to
action as well so what are yourthoughts and are they helping
you?
What type of negative self-talkpops up for you?
(13:55):
Do you see something kind ofrepetitive that keeps coming up?
Those are the kind of thingsthat you want to start inquiring
internally on, you know, askingyourself those questions.
What pops up for me?
A lot for a negative self-talk.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
We were kind of discussing this ahead of time.
You were asking me for anexample or something like that,
so that we could use the threeC's.
And it didn't even really.
I didn't even have to thinkhard about it.
I went back in time, basicallyin my head, and I just went oh,
eighth grade basketball tryoutsright before it.
I don't know why.
(14:31):
I think because there was a lotmore kids that were trying to
join the eighth grade team and abunch of their, the kids that
were there, I didn't like so,like a bunch of boys that were
super mean.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
They were mean.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
So I think I just had insane like social anxiety
going in there too, absolutely.
So my self-talk was like really, it was really harsh on myself,
I'm pretty sure Do you remember?
Not really what I was saying.
I remember the tryouts and allthat stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
But you don't remember what you were really
telling yourself.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
No, I just know, I was like a nervous wreck before.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I was all freaking out and palms are all sweaty and
stuff.
You couldn't grip thebasketball right I?
Speaker 1 (15:11):
can only imagine just kind of knowing the history of
some of this.
But like I'm not gonna do, well, I'm gonna be left at.
I'm going to be.
I just you know.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
I wanted to be on that team.
So bad that year.
I know you were good.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I know so, and this is it.
That was your defeat.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That was your defeat.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
It was.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Sad to say.
Anyway, so let's go, so socatching yourself.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Catching yourself in negative self-talk.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Yeah, what your thoughts are.
So be aware of what you say toyourself, and the first step is
recognizing that you havenegative thoughts, and then ask
yourself if you would talk tosomeone else that way.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
So if you say, you know you're going to go out
there and I'm, you know I'm notgoing to do well, You're going
to miss every shot, you're goingto fail all the drills and
you're going to slip in therunning practice If you tell
your buddy that right beforethat.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Yeah, it's like well, that's really encouraging.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Thanks for the help man, thanks for the emotional
support.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
So we, yeah, so that's why we need to stay away
from that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I always love that friend.
You know, imagine you sayingthat to somebody else.
That is so good.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
It really is.
And even when I came back atlike a three droughts I don't
even think I was I realized Iwas like doing all this negative
self-talk and I was like anervous wreck.
I thought I was just likenervous, or something like that.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I was so tough on myself.
I think, yeah, I kind of can'tremember like doing drills and
stuff and I'd miss a shot.
I was so tough on myselfbecause I expected myself to be
perfect, you know tip top or notperfect, but you know
performing at my best orwhatever.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, but still perfect.
A lot of people get caught upin that they get to be perfect
Like there's no in between, likeeither I'm good or I'm bad.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah and that's just not reality.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So okay, well, let's take that example, then, and
let's you know, check it, Idon't know.
I guess I said you know I'meither.
I have to be perfect.
That means I always have to begood.
Well, always is one of thosewords that you can't really say
always, never.
It's just so absolute, it'simpossible.
There's no way to have anywiggle room in there.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Exactly so.
It's impossible.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Right.
So so just really check again.
You know, check your reality.
How real is it?
So give me some other examplesof what you were saying that you
might have been thinking if youwere actually analyzing your
self-talk.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Let's say I'm at the free throw line and I have two
shots at the free throw line andall the kids are at the behind
the back board of the rim.
I miss my first shot, bouncesoff the rim Dang it.
I should have made that stupid,me I miss the second shot.
Come on Greg.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Oh man, beat yourself up.
Yeah, stuff like that, so dobetter.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Come on, what's up with you, something like that.
So, because I put so muchpressure on myself, I think
beforehand to you know, performreally well.
So, in putting that pressure onyourself.
It's really not healthy.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
No, it's not Well, and that's kind of reinforcing
with positive stuff.
Right.
And then kind of, how would you, how would you check?
You know, so you're checkingthat, you're looking at what
you're saying.
How would you change that?
It'd be like, look, I haven't abad day here.
You know this is, you know I, IOkay, I missed the two shots,
you're having a bad day.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yeah, if I was doing a positive, I take the first
shot.
All right, well, I can make thesecond one.
At least I missed the secondone.
All right, well, I'm gonna haveto do better on these three
pointers and the layups and allthat stuff, because I just
missed both of these, so justput more pressure on yourself
for other areas.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Don't act like you have to be perfect in everything
.
Right, right, right.
I like that.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Be like.
Well, I'll make up for thesemissed shots by performing way
better in the three-pointshooting or the layup drills.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
So yeah, so wonderful .
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, that's how I do it.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
All right.
Well, I think that was reallyhelpful to walk through that
example and again you get theidea.
You got to catch yourself first.
You got to be paying attentionto what what you're saying
negative about yourself, andwhen that pops up for you most
often maybe just start.
Start there and it's justhelping me.
Are these thoughts helping me?
I think that's just onequestion that I always keep in
(19:44):
my head.
Is this helpful?
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Why am I?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
beating myself up over this Right Right.
Okay, so it happened or I'mthinking.
I'm thinking this is gonnahappen and then checking it.
I'm thinking about what you'rethinking and how unreal a lot of
times our thoughts are sounrealistic it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I know it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And we expect so much of ourselves and unimaginable.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
We're so tough on ourselves.
Yeah, insanely tough.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, and again using those words like okay, am I
saying never, or I'll probablynever make this shot when you're
up at that line.
You don't want to go there.
You know I've got this, gotthis.
If I don't, it's okay.
Yeah you know, that kind ofthing I'll do better on the next
thing I do, and then you knowchanging it.
(20:35):
So catching yourself checkingit changing your thinking.
Yeah, I'll do better at thenext the next drill drill.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
So anyway, yeah, so don't, don't let your now your
negative self-talk get you down.
That's really kind of the goalof that little exercise that we
did.
And and just to push yourselfup and boost yourself up stay on
that positive self-talk Sidewhere you know this is gonna be
(21:06):
challenging or I'm gonna do mybest at this.
You know, if I mess up I'mgonna learn from it.
I am open to change.
I want to succeed, I can.
You know, my life could beworse.
I'm lucky here, you know.
I want to learn all those, allthose great things.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
So it just sounds like you have hope.
So yeah, keep hope, keep hope.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Anyway.
Well, what's our call to action?
Greg, let's.
What would we like?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I didn't recognize when you're Excuse me talking
negative versus when you'retalking positive, and try to
overpower the negative with thepositive.
I like that, Well said let'ssay you realize you're talking
50% negative, 50% positive aboutyourself.
Try to make that change to 90,10 and then eventually 100%
(21:55):
positive.
So just work on it, small steps, baby steps.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, that's how we just always work for improvement
.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah, just small steps, because, yeah, take your
time with it, but don't be tooharsh on yourself, like I said.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Accept yourself for where you're at.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, so we all start somewhere.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Yeah, and it's kind of like in basketball you didn't
get to a point where you couldthrow.
You mean, you're pretty good atthose three, three throws or
three, three pointers.
Yeah, you didn't start there.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
No, you start with very close.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You didn't start there and you're not.
You're all gonna not gonnastart.
You know with.
You know big improvements onthe negative cell top.
But you're gonna start now.
Yeah, and you're gonna makeimprovements and you're gonna
keep going and keep working onthis and it's gonna make a big
impact on your life.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Like I said, yeah, learning to shoot threes, it was
baby steps.
Right under the rim.
You do 50 shots right under therim.
You take two steps back, mm-hmm.
Hundred shots under the rim.
Two steps back, 150 shots underthe rim and then you keep going
back and if you mess up Allthose shots, you start over and
you go to the very beginning.
Yeah, so it's like you putyourself in a situation to just
(23:01):
learn and expand.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Wow, thank you for sharing that.
That was wonderful, all right,well, thank you for listening
and Leave some comments on whaty'all thought yeah, love to your
reviews here.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, so, anyway, well, you all have a great rest
of your day and we will be backAgain real soon with some more.
How do we make ourselves feelbetter?
Yeah, information exactly allright, take care, bye, bye.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
True Crime Tonight
If you eat, sleep, and breathe true crime, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT is serving up your nightly fix. Five nights a week, KT STUDIOS & iHEART RADIO invite listeners to pull up a seat for an unfiltered look at the biggest cases making headlines, celebrity scandals, and the trials everyone is watching. With a mix of expert analysis, hot takes, and listener call-ins, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT goes beyond the headlines to uncover the twists, turns, and unanswered questions that keep us all obsessed—because, at TRUE CRIME TONIGHT, there’s a seat for everyone. Whether breaking down crime scene forensics, scrutinizing serial killers, or debating the most binge-worthy true crime docs, True Crime Tonight is the fresh, fast-paced, and slightly addictive home for true crime lovers.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com