100 | Floor Pizza - You Didn't Ask For This

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Eric (00:00):
This is wild.

Matt (00:01):
Here we are In the flesh.

Eric (00:04):
I'm looking right at you.

Matt (00:05):
Face to face, which, I have to say, is extremely
intimate right now.

Eric (00:10):
It's weirdly intimate, because when we're doing it
online, your head, your face,I'm closer on your face and it's
taking up most of my screen,but this is so much more.

Matt (00:22):
There's no distractions, there's no delay, because we
have chosen, for this veryspecial occasion, to be in
person with mic stands.
We just had a significanttechnical delay getting these
two mics to play nice.

Eric (00:39):
Yeah.

Matt (00:40):
Like an hour, like literally an hour of me
troubleshooting on the floor.

Eric (00:44):
Matt was fighting for his fucking life to get this episode
up and running.

Matt (00:50):
But enough about the technical jargon, eric.
This is the cold open ofepisode 100.
One hundo, one hundo.
Let's make it fun-do.
We've got, and we've gotsomething.
Very.
We've got a couple of things totalk about.
Yes, a couple of announcementsto make.
Yes, I've got a couple ofthings to talk about.
Yes, a couple of announcementsto make.
Yes, I've got a secret bit foryou.

Eric (01:11):
Matt has been selling me on this secret bit.
Don't oversell it.
I'm not going to oversell it,but, needless to say, I know
nothing about it other than itis a bit and it is secret.

Matt (01:22):
Now, to be fair, I could have told you about the bit and
you still know nothing about it.

Eric (01:25):
Correct.
I have built in safetymechanisms for secrets, meaning
what your brain, yeah.
Short-term memory is overrated.

Matt (01:36):
I think we got a lot to get to Eric we do so let's get
started.
Let's fucking go.
Number one hundo Hundo babyhere, get started.

Eric (01:43):
Let's fucking go.
Number one Hundo, hundo, baby,here's to you, baby, here's to
you.
Baby, here's to you, you prettyson of a bitch.

Matt (01:56):
Oh, you beautiful bastard.
Well hello everybody andwelcome to you.
Didn't Ask for this the podcastanswering life's least pressing
questions, although maybe nottoday.
My name is Matthew Shea.
My name is Eric Poach.

(02:16):
Eric Poach, welcome to mybasement.

Eric (02:19):
It is such a nice basement .
Thank you, such a nice basement.

Matt (02:23):
Thank you.
It's only technically abasement in the sense that we're
half underground, but it's asplit foyer this house.
This kind of splits the uprightsbetween a basement and a
conversation pit and I'm gettingthe best parts of both.
You know, it's interesting thatyou would bring that up because
we just went to our very firstHOA meeting not long ago and

(02:44):
they showed us the originalbrochure for this development
from 1977.
Yeah, and they called it acuddle pit.
We don't have one, but thereyou could get a conversation pit
that was called a cuddle pit.

Eric (02:59):
which is what if they were calling it a cuddle pit in the
70s?
Definitely, definitely low-keyadvertising, primo orgy space
100%.

Matt (03:09):
Lindsay and I immediately.
So there's like a couple ofyoung people and mostly older
people in our neighborhood,right, and so we immediately
were like, oh, everybody in herewere swingers 100%, and I was
like, oh, right on the planterat the top of the stairs, that's
where the key bowl goes.

(03:29):
And they did.
They laughed.
The young people laughedhysterically.
All the old people gave like apolite chuckle.
And I said I guess you weren'tready for that.
Yeah, or you were all here andyou all been fucking in my house
, is what I'm hearing, guess youguys weren't ready for that,
but your kids were conceivedbecause of it.

Eric (03:49):
Nice, eric, nice.

Matt (03:50):
Very good, yeah.
So this I will say this is oddthat we are doing this in person
.
We don't have headphones on.

Eric (03:58):
No, which is scaring the shit out of Matt.

Matt (04:01):
It's scaring the shit out of me because I can't babysit,
and now there's a bird outside.
I love this.

Eric (04:08):
I'm used to hearing like lawnmowers, arguments and dogs
barking outside of my window.
Back home I'm just getting likeI'm a raw dog in nature behind
me.

Matt (04:18):
That is what this is to live here.
Sarah and Carissa, formerguests of the show.
They were here once upon a time.
Well, they've been here manytimes, but they were here once
upon a time in the early springwhen the spring peepers, which
are frogs, were in the pondright behind my house.

Eric (04:36):
Had a different meaning in the 70s.

Matt (04:38):
Had a different meaning in the 70s, and that is again.
The name of the animal is aspring peeper.
There's probably I'm going tojust conservatively say
thousands of them in this pondand it is like literally a white
noise machine of chirps.
It's like you can't distinguishthem as frogs.
At first I thought they werecicadas, but it was still cold,

(04:58):
so I was like it can't becicadas, like it's loud, but we
don't notice it.
Me and lindsey are like, oh, thetwo of them were sarah and
carissa were like I, that is soloud.
And we're like, oh, oh, thefrogs.

Eric (05:10):
I don't even, we don't even hear them anymore and just
background noise but I'm gladthat period is over.

Matt (05:17):
They finally shut the fuck up and at last we have peace
and at last we have some levelof peace.
Yes, now Eric, for this 100thepisode, we have chosen to do
something very intimate, verybold we are going to have sex.
No.

Zack Deuce (05:32):
Wow.

Matt (05:34):
We are going to interview one another.
Yeah, we have questionsprepared.
Neither one of us know thequestions.

Eric (05:41):
No, we're doing this James Lipton style, babe, neither one
of us know the questions.

Matt (05:46):
No, we're doing this James Lipton style babe.
Now we also have a number of.
We invited the masses, theaudience, strangers, whoever
wanted to be part of the 100thepisode, to send in whatever
they want to the voicemail, tothe thought line.

Eric (06:01):
Thoughts, well wishes, curses.

Matt (06:04):
And so we have a couple, including a late entry.
Um, should we kick things offby listening to to?

Eric (06:10):
one of them.

Matt (06:11):
Oh my god, pop that fucking cork well, you know we
talked about sarah and carissa.
I know that they submitted one.
Should we start there?

Eric (06:20):
please.
This is like the best way tostart my day.

Sara and Carissa (06:24):
Hey Coach, hey Matt, Congratulations on 100
episodes.
It's Sarah and Carissa, by theway.
We've been here since thebeginning and we love you both
very much.
We are so proud of all the workthat you've done, all the
laughs, all the tears, all theinspiration and all the things

(06:47):
that nobody ever asked for and,honestly, our only complaint is
that there's not enough Matt andPoe time.

Matt (06:55):
That's interesting.

Sara and Carissa (06:57):
So please continue for at least another
100 episodes.
Thank you for everything and wehope to be back on the show for
guest appearances.
Part two Anytime yeah.
Wink, wink, wink, bye, we loveyou.

Eric (07:11):
They have a key to the house.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Also.
I love you both so fucking much.

Matt (07:19):
Yes, we obviously adore you, you both.

Eric (07:23):
Also, this is setting the tone, calling it now I am going
to be crying before thisepisode's end.

Matt (07:28):
There's a very real chance of that Poach.
Okay, because all my questionsI also have a polygraph that
we're going to hook you up to.
Oh, I do think it'd be fun todo a what is it Vanity Fair
style lie, lie detector, uhepisode?
Oh, that would be a hoot wherewe break up our friendship

(07:49):
officially by asking the toughquestions yeah, I mean, we could
do it a lot cheaper.

Eric (07:52):
We just play monopoly or open up risk again that, could
you know?

Matt (07:58):
that could be fodder for, um.
Well, you know what, since theykind of teed us up by saying,
like there's not enough of mattand eric, yeah, uh, I mean, we
are bi-weekly show.
Yeah, should we start thingsoff with the announcement?
Yeah, I think it's time, folks,after 100 episodes, we're
quitting uh, we're, uh, we'redone.

Eric (08:21):
I mean, what, what?
What other mountains are there?

Matt (08:24):
to climb.
I'll tell you what othermountains there are to climb.
Oh, the Patreon point.
There it is Patreon.
Peak Yep Folks.
You didn't ask for this islaunching a Patreon.

Eric (08:37):
We didn't sell out, we bought in.

Matt (08:39):
We didn't sell out.
You did yes, so don't worry,we're keeping things humble.
You did yes, so we it's a don'tworry, we're keeping things
humble.
Okay, yeah, we're.
We're going to have two tiersto this Patreon, okay, and we've
got a number of treats toentice you.
But basically it's just to makesure that we can start giving

(09:02):
you more content better content,yes and can also like you more
content, better content, yes,and can also like support,
actually the show itself.

Eric (09:09):
Yeah, because we would.
You know it, despite what youmay believe, doing a podcast of
quality, quality Costs money.

Matt (09:20):
We won't say what kind of quality.

Eric (09:22):
No.

Matt (09:23):
We wouldn't prescribe that upon ourselves.
No, I think it speaks foritself.
It speaks for itself, but thereis a cost.
There is a cost Physically andemotionally, and financially,
yeah, and fiscally, I shouldhave said.

Eric (09:35):
Patreon helps with one of those Most of it.

Matt (09:37):
Yeah, so the first tier, just charging you $1.
$1.
One USD, just charging you onedollar.
One dollar, one u s?
D and one dollar gets youexactly one perk, which is the
next part of what we arelaunching, which is a discord.

Eric (09:58):
You daft cord, you daft cord.
That was off the fucking dome.
Talk to us anytime, anywhere,and by us I kind of mean poach
yeah, I'm in discord all thetime, so you know, if you want
to hang out with me while I playchivalry and fight yeah, people
like knights and such and andwe were talking about this
before we started I'm more of aslack person.

Matt (10:20):
Yes, you're more of a discord person, so I I want to
put it on mic on radio, on therecord you are spearheading I am
spearheading the discord in ourshow.

Eric (10:33):
You officially have I mean , that's pretty much what I've
been doing since day one atangible outside of recording
responsibility I havedeliverables you have a deliver.

Matt (10:42):
I'm giving you precisely one deliverable.
It's going to go great.
It's going to go great.
So, and I'm going to getinvolved, I'm going to be there
as well.
I will go so far as to putdiscord back on my phone.
Yeah, but uh.
So we'll be there.
You can chat with us, you canhang out with us, as you're a PC
gamer.
You're a PC gamer, so you dothe Discord thing all the time.

Eric (11:04):
Yeah, I'll also add if this spices the pot that's a
phrase people say.
It's a spicy pot, sure.

Matt (11:10):
You love a pot full of spice?
Double down on the thing.
No one's ever heard before.
Yeah spicy ass pot there's noway I'm allowing spicy ass pot
to be the name of this episode.

Eric (11:23):
And for anyone who's curious about Discord, if you're
just a listener, it's free.
You download the app is free.
You don't have to pay anything.
You don't have to do anythingother than give us a dollar a
month to be added to our discord.

Matt (11:35):
Yeah, discord is free.
It's it's our discord, that'snot yeah it's our discord.

Eric (11:40):
That's not.
Since we're coming up on spookyseason.
I think I've been due overduefor a replay of a game called
alien isolation alien isolation,where you are stuck on a ship
with the alien from aliens andit is hunting you and it is one
of the scariest games I've everplayed.
I played a little bit of it,loved it.

(12:00):
Then adhd kicked in.
I forgot it existed, and now Ihave.
I have never returned to itsince so I'm gonna restart my
playthrough of alien isolation.
So if anyone wants to hang outin our discord and just watch me
be scared out of my fuckingmind, give us a dollar a month.
There you go, and then I'll popin with quips oh he'll, oh my
god, the peanut gallery thatwill be matt shea as I fight for

(12:23):
my fucking life on the Nostromo.

Matt (12:26):
But Eric, let's get to the meat and potatoes here.
Let's get to the real thing.
So if you because dollar amonth, who isn't throwing a
dollar away on just accidentally, I sneeze, I lose a dollar In
this economy, yeah, I mean.
So we don't think it's a ton toask you want to support the
show?

(12:46):
You can get the Discord, it'llbe great.
Dollar a month, but for $4.
For four, for $4 a month.
We're calling that first tier,you daft punks, because we love
you baby.

Eric (12:58):
Dollar a month.
You're a daft punk.

Matt (13:00):
Yeah, as we've said, we tried to adapt you daft.
Yeah, as we've said, we triedto adapt Udaf Punk as the name
of our fans.
So we're putting that at thebase here.
Thank you, alyssa.
But we've also done, courtesyof Alyssa, of course.
But we've also talked a lot.
Much and more has been made ofthe Udaf giants throughout the
100 episodes Such as Sarah andCarissa, such as Sarah and
Carissa.
We have to temporarily stripthat title away, because now

(13:21):
we're applying it to a monetaryNow we're putting it behind a
paywall.
We're putting it behind apaywall.
You're welcome.
That paywall is $4 a month andhere's what you're going to get
for the DAF giant level.
That's it.
Two tiers, that's it.
That's it.
We may introduce a third tierdown the road once we're big and
successful.
You know once, but not Roganvalues, but not Rogan values.

(13:46):
Rogan money, not Rogan values$4 a month gets you the
following Discord access 20% offour incoming merch.
We're going to have merchbabies.
By the end of 2024, we will havemerch.
We are working on it, we'retrying to get everything up and
running as we talked about inthe previous episode.
But the big kahuna, yeah, is.

(14:09):
We are introducing a monthlybonus episode and we are calling
it and this might tickle thetail feathers a little bit folks
, oops, all tangents, oops, alltangents, no questions, all
tangents.
We're going to be telling longform stories that don't fit into

(14:33):
the show.
We're going to be going maybedo some deep dives on specific
topics from time to time.

Eric (14:41):
This is just kind of the dumping ground for all the shit
that matt tells me we cannot, wecan.

Matt (14:48):
how can we fit a 20 minute story into the episode poach,
exactly exact the mole, and sothat caught.
So all those things, discord,access, oops all tangents, 20
off all our incoming merch.
That is all yours for $4 amonth.
Eric, I just pulled up myStarbucks app.
Okay, okay, a grande pumpkinspice latte, psl yes, is $6, and

(15:16):
change Six fucking dollars, $6and change.
So, less than a PSL, less thana latte a month.
You get a bonus you didn't askfor this in the form of Oop's
All Tangents.
You get 20% off oursoon-to-be-released merch.
You get the Discord access.
I think it's a pretty fuckinggood deal.

Eric (15:32):
Yeah, that's two-thirds of a PSL For two-thirds of a PSL,
you get this amazing deal.

Matt (15:38):
Yeah.
So there's the sell.
I don't think we need to takeup more airtime with this.
In fact, we probably took uptoo much.
This deal speaks for itself.
So the link to our Patreon isin the show notes here.
It's going to be on all oursocial media at.
You Didn't Ask Pod.
That's the letter.
You Didn't Ask Pod.
Go check it out.
If you love the show and wantto support us, we'd love to see

(16:03):
you there and reward you withsome oops, all tangents.
Thanks babes, thanks babes, andthat's it.

Eric (16:05):
No more hard sell right, no more hard sell, we're done.
Hard selling, we're done.

Matt (16:09):
My whiskey is starting to kick in you know we'll mention
it at the the end of episodes,here and there probably.
But like listen, we appreciateif you, if you don't have the
money you don't want to cash in,don't worry, it's fine.

Eric (16:22):
The original show will always be free yeah, we are
never going to paywall anythingwe've made gotta make that
crystal clear.

Matt (16:32):
It will be free.
Oops, all tangents you'll beable to get in whatever podcast
app you use.
It'll just be under a separatelisting, so you'll get it there
and you can get all the otherepisodes from that feed as well,
so you can have everything inone place.
And again, all of thatinformation is in the show notes
.
I think that's enough of theopening business, eric.

(16:52):
Should we get down to it?
Let's fucking go.
So do I ask you a questionfirst or do you ask me a
question first?

Eric (16:59):
You've been doing a lot of talking, thank you, and you're
very good at it, thank you.
I talking, thank you, andyou're very good at it.
Thank you, I'm going to talknow.
Okay, I'm going to ask you aquestion.

Matt (17:08):
I'm going to set the tone.
Isn't that?
Isn't that you prompting me totalk more?

Eric (17:12):
So your first question Okay, I'm ready, I'm nervous,
let's just get into it.

Matt (17:16):
I'm fucking nervous here.

Eric (17:18):
Matt, when was the last time you cried, and why?

Matt (17:23):
Wow, you know, I've got.
I had shit like that and Ithrew it out because I was like,
okay, all right.
Last time I cried I think itwas last week.
Okay, uh, it was private.
Lindsey doesn't know this.
She's finding this out in theepisode okay uh, I had myself a
little bit of a panic attackabout.
You know, life stresses, my guyDude.

(17:47):
Yeah, you know, valid, all theshit that's hitting the fan.
You know, I let that wash overme.
Perhaps I was in an elevatedstate.
Who could say?
Who can say who could say whocan say I was in an elevated
state?
Mm-hmm, and yeah, some tearsstarted, started rolling.
I think that was the last timeI the literal last time might

(18:09):
not be the funniest last time,but I think that's the last time
I cried buddy yeah, I mean andand honestly good.

Eric (18:16):
Not the anxiety, that's never good, but it's like
anxiety is gonna happen and I'malways grateful when my dude
friends can cry.
It's fucking hard Like I'm.
I am always grateful when a mantells me that they had a good
cry.

Matt (18:31):
I'll tell you this.
There are times this isn't oneof them, but this there have
been times when I have tried tolike sit down in a chair and be
like I got.
I just got to cry.

Eric (18:42):
It's the worst and I can't and I'm and I'm unable to
summon it up the worst feelingon earth, like knowing you have
to.

Matt (18:48):
I want wanting to.
I want it.
I need to get them tears andthat social programming says no,
that social programming saysabsolutely.
Not.
So, eric, I think it's time youtalk for a while okay, hit me
I'm gonna give you somethinggood.
Okay, I've got a list here, andand so do you, but I'm just
going to go with my first thing.
Okay, we've talked about thisbefore a little bit, but I'm

(19:12):
asking you serious.

Eric (19:14):
This is serious faces on.

Matt (19:16):
What is it about the mosh slash rave lifestyle that you
enjoy so much?

Eric (19:24):
Oh, I love this question and I may have touched on this
before, yeah, but I want to likelean into this answer.

Matt (19:30):
But what I'm saying is it's always been part of a bit
about how much, oh, I won't becaught dead, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, I want you to actuallytell me.
So like what appeals?
Yeah, why do you do it?

Eric (19:51):
Because I can't think of anything worse.
So what, what?
What is it that you love about?
So?
So this is my take, and this ishonestly my take, not just on
moshing, but on our, on ourspecies, human beings yeah, got
to where we are by beingaggressive and warlike.
Yeah, like we, we got to thetop of the chain.
But it's a two-pronged thing.
One is jolly cooperation.
We, we work together, wecommune together.
Jolly cooperation, yeah, yeah.

(20:12):
But the other hand of that iswe also got to where we are by
being more violent andaggressive than the other things
that could potentially harm oreat us.
Sure, this isn't to condoneviolence or encourage it, but
something that I think we needto acknowledge about our species
is that we need these sort ofreleases for a natural

(20:35):
aggression that is inside of us.
We and I don't mean this as adiss, it's just an observation
we are, our brain is hardwiredto get off on vengeance.
We love schadenfreude, we lovefucking.
We, we love having something tofight against and for it.

(20:56):
Just get.
It gets us into that reptilebrain flow state.
Yeah, a mosh pit, a rave, yeah,anywhere like these types of
spaces is such a wonderfullyhealthy and safe environment to
release that energy, becauseotherwise it just builds up, it

(21:21):
just it's.
It's like that.
Like it it's just throwingmarbles into a fine crystal
brandy glass and then, once it'sfull, they have to keep going
in so that, like, either youempty some marbles out to make
room or the glass shatters soyou're saying it's sort of like,
like those the, the sort of newcraze, the rage room where you

(21:45):
go and like, destroy shit yes,like, but safely.

Matt (21:49):
Like you got goggles and safe masks and stuff, but like
you can smash up a table and andall this different stuff.

Eric (21:55):
I haven't done one and and I would say I'd like to and I
would say the advantage thatthis has over the rage room,
yeah, is, remember, it'stwo-pronged.
We're we're naturally have likethat level of aggression that
we need to let out, but alsocommunity mosh pit is a
community.
No one in that pit.
And, and the big asterisk nextto this is, there will always be

(22:17):
assholes.
There will always be people who, like, are looking to harm
others.
Yeah, but that's true of anyspace you will enter forever
there's always going to be atoxic person in any community
three percent of every all thepeople you'll ever meet will be
complete irredeemable assholes.
It's okay, yeah, um, but whenyou're moshing, you're doing it
with other human beings.

(22:37):
It creates that shared sense ofpurpose, like it's not just you
alone in a room punching wallor like yeah like isolating you
with your bad feelings.
That's where that's.
That's not good, that's notgood for your brain.
But when you're throwing eachother around and everyone
understands that they're thereconsensually to do this together

(22:58):
and like a shared purpose, allfor a band you fucking love, it
is a safe, healthy, communal wayto release that pressure.
It's almost like meditation,it's like battle meditation, but
but to kick ass music.

Matt (23:14):
So yeah well, I don't know about that last part you
weren't selling me for a while.
And then the kick-ass musickick-ass music.
Can you tell me any lyrics?
Anyway, we don't need to gointo.

Eric (23:27):
All my life I has to fight .
Sorry, going for that, thatwasn't.
I think that was Kendrick.

Matt (23:35):
Hey, how about another question?
Yeah?

Eric (23:37):
So here we go.
What is something you havealways wanted to say to someone
and like so there's.
There's someone could have beenyears ago in your life.
There's something you havealways wanted to say to them,
but you never did.
What is it you wanted to say?
Don't tell me who it is okay,so don't don't tell you who it

(24:00):
is don't we don't name drop,just say say get it off your
chest, huh um, we don't namedrop, just say get it off your
chest.

Matt (24:14):
You've done a lot of good for what you've been.
You've done a lot of good.
And I think you have confusedthat and confused your level of
success with the idea that you,the human, deserve it Too much.

Eric (24:34):
No, that was perfect, Not enough.

Matt (24:35):
That was you nailed it All right.
That was a quick one, though.

Eric (24:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, some of them can be quick, some of them
we can marinate.

Matt (24:43):
Eric, what's your favorite ?

Eric (24:44):
sandwich Dog.
I was talking about this theother day.
This is like not only myfavorite sandwich, it is my
ultimate comfort food.
And I know it's my ultimatecomfort food because I don't eat
it all the time.
So when I do eat it it's likeoh right, god, that hits, I
gotta be, I got to like theright sandwich is orgasmic.

(25:06):
Yes.
So, simple, simple, simple,simple Toasted bread, not too
dark, I want.
I want firm.
I want that nice.
I got to have that nice firm,like toasted.
There's no bend to the breadanymore.
But it's not like dark, it'snot like blackened toast.
Proper toast, like dark, it'snot like black.
Yeah, yeah, proper toast mayoboth, both pieces of bread, love

(25:26):
it thickly cut homegrowntomatoes okay, layer them about,
like like I need.
I need a solid two layer baselayer of tomato and then a
second layer of tomato on top.
Okay, salt, salt, okay pepper,and then there's a special
seasoning I discovered in recentyears that goes, so it's called
mr crunchy it is.

(25:48):
It is a blend of likepeppercorns that have been
blasted like mixed with somelike spices and such.
It is the most horrifying brandmascot on the bottle you ever.
Look it up, mr crunchy, thelabel will give you nightmares.
It pairs perfectly with tomato.
That's the sandwich, A tomatosandwich.

(26:09):
Salt pepper, maybe some extraspices, mayo Not a meat to be
found.
Not a meat to be found.
Wow, Eric, I'm surprised.
It is so the simplicity of it.

Matt (26:22):
I'm going to try it.

Eric (26:23):
I will try this.

Matt (26:24):
I'm intrigued because you, a meat eater, are telling me
about it.
I will try it.
Yeah, if a vegan came to mewith this, well, I guess the
mayo wouldn't be there.
But who's living life withoutmayo?
Am I right, correct?
Come on, fuck, miracle Whip.
Oh, we are in total agreementthis fuck, miracle Whip.

Eric (26:41):
That's why we're friends.

Matt (26:41):
If anyone tells me that Miracle Whip is the same thing
as proper mayo, as a goodHellman's, even as a Duke's okay
, even as a fucking Duke's Iwant you to picture the
beginning of GoldenEye when Bondjumps off the dam yes, which
they recently went to that damin a season of the Amazing Race.

(27:02):
Nice yeah, and they jumped offof it.
But the one doing that, hebungee, jumps off the top of
this dam.
It's in like Sweden orsomething I forget.
Yeah, you ain't getting a cord.
Friends, you like Miracle, whipOff the dam, you're getting a
nice elbow right off the end.

Eric (27:16):
You know what?
Let's just get this right intothe hundo now.
If you like Miracle Whip, youcan go fuck.
You can go fuck If you comeinto my house and you see
Miracle Whip.
No, you didn't.

Matt (27:28):
Don't be coming into our Discord with Miracle Whip
propaganda.

Eric (27:30):
So yeah, that's my perfect sandwich.

Matt (27:32):
I think it's good.
And now let me tell yousomething that I've recently
been experimenting with and Ithis, I'm not gonna, we're not.
These are individual questions.
I'm are individual questions.
I'm not getting into mysandwich, but recently, um, for
our like daily driver, lunchtimesandwich, like the innards,
just a turkey cheese for for meand lindsey I'm just whipping it
up real quick.

(27:53):
Turkey, a little workday lunch,right.
Here's what I've been doing forthe sauce, for the sauce, for
the sauce okay, mayo, a littlesquirt mayo both sides, right,
both breads.
Little squirt of mustard, okay,get that going, get that nice,
and and and mixed sprinkle,healthy sprinkle I know it's

(28:16):
gonna sound like a marylandbasic bitch healthy sprinkle,
old bay, both sides, got healthysprinkle.
Then smear it all together andthat's your sauce mustard, mayo,
old bay, love it.
Give it a try.

Eric (28:31):
People, and I specifically you yeah I know, I will
absolutely give it a try.

Matt (28:35):
I would slather that on it just spices up a regular turkey
cheese.
Just a little bit.
It gives you a little bit ofI'm fancy, you know.
Yeah, all right, so before weget into more questions, should
we maybe hit a voicemail?
We should Now.
Eric, I don't know if youlistened to this one yet.
This is from our good friendIan the Holy Mole.

(28:58):
Ian.
Who, on Instagram or threads,did tell us that he this is his
words, you can look this up onthe media that he was high when
he sent this.
Okay, you know, medically, Iassume, uh, but maybe not.
Uh, it doesn't.
Who are we to judge?
we don't care, oh, I certainlydon't I think everybody knows

(29:20):
what I'm talking about when Isay elevated state.
It's so, so anyway, um, he didsay it might be hard to discern.
I don't think it's because ofthe pot, I think it is.
I think it is a connectionissue.
But hey, you sent this in.

Ian the Holy Mole (29:37):
Ian, we're playing it, my noble lords of
thealand On reaching a hundredepisodes.
I am pleased to inform you tohave received a congratulatory
call from King Arl Simsel,presented by his emissary, the

(29:58):
noble ian couldn't agree more,thank you very much for the
message too.

Matt (30:15):
True, my friend I can't say it enough this man's a
philosopher yes a I this manneeds to be running parliament.

Eric (30:25):
This.

Matt (30:25):
This man is the thinking man's renaissance man the fuck
does that mean the thinkingman's renaissance?
Man isn't a renaissance man, athinking man ah well, if you
have to ask.

Eric (30:41):
But I will say this do not , do not let this recording, do
not let that dissuade you.
Go listen to the strange moleshow.
His recording is top-notch.
The jokes are fucking hilariousand it scratches like every
monty python, terry pratchett,douglas adams, like sketch benny

(31:02):
hill sketch comedy.

Matt (31:04):
Yeah, brilliant itch also and while listening to it, I do
legitimately learn more aboutBritish politics than than I
know now Like you actually getso much out of his show and it's
brilliant.

Eric (31:20):
Please listen to it.

Matt (31:21):
Yeah, it's scripted, it's sketch comedy.
He they have seasons, him anddoc, strange they, you know they
put it all together so well.
We taught Ian was on the showin episode 60.
So we're due for a child king.
I believe is the name of thatepisode yes, uh so go check that
out if you want to hear ian.
He's great.
Um, and you know ian.

(31:43):
Sorry about the voicemail.
Uh, you know when, when soundwaves travel across the pond,
sometimes I get muddled in it inin it don't really apply to
this sentence now, does it?

Eric (31:57):
in it.
Uh, also one last plug for ian.
Uh, if you find him oninstagram, he runs a business
where he he creates custom made,uh, mobility aids for people
that are fantasy, sci-fi, reallywhatever you want themed like
if, if you've, if you need amobility aid and you've always

(32:21):
wanted a steampunk or ray gun ordinosaur or fallout fallout
themed.
They're really cool and,honestly, that's just the nicest
business I've ever heard of isjust making really awesome,
kick-ass mobility aids forpeople.

Matt (32:38):
Yeah, so give them a check and his website, for that is
genxscouk, that'sG-E-N-X-C-E-S-Scouk.
Go check it out, ian.
Cheers my friend, cheers buddy.

Eric (32:56):
My turn for a question.

Matt (32:57):
It is.
We do have that secret bit.

Eric (33:00):
Oh, is it time for secret bit it could be.

Matt (33:02):
Could be time for secret bit.
It could be jumping the gunslightly, but the British is a
good segue.

Eric (33:09):
Okay, okay, oh, are you fucking with me right now?

Matt (33:13):
no, I'm not okay.
So okay, well, because okay.
So this is a new bit, this is anew segment, debuting it right
here in the middle.

Eric (33:22):
Eric hit it new segment there you go oh man, it was
almost reflexive.
You did you watch my brain, myeyes going.
I don't know what I'm supposedto be doing, but my mouth just
start moving.
Yes, that's literally whathappened?

Matt (33:36):
He was looking at me with the eyes.
That's.
This is why I wanted to recordupstairs, because we don't have
a good camera angle for wherewe're recording Upstairs, where
we put that photo on Instagram,that photo of us in those chairs
.
That's where I wanted to recordthis, so we could also do video
.
But I've got a tall ceiling.
It's very echoey, so you can'tsee the fact that Eric was

(34:01):
speaking.
But looking at me with a.
Is this what you wanted?

Eric (34:09):
My body cried action, but my eyes cried line Line, yes.

Matt (34:13):
So recently in my eyes cried line Line yes.
So recently in my anglification, you know, first it was no
longer calling the sports soccerand calling it football, and
then it was spending everyweekend watching soccer all the
time and just in general.
Growing up being obsessed withthe Monty Pythons of the world

(34:34):
and the Fawlty Towers andeverything else God, I love
Fawlty Towers All these thingshave led me to my current
English fascination, which isthe show Taskmaster.
Welcome aboard, my friend.
I'm watching it from thebeginning.
I'm very much enjoying it and,as all great comedians do not to

(34:56):
suggest that I am a comedian,let alone a great one I'm going
to steal one of their bits.
Got to, got to Credit wherecredit is due.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I'm stealing a bit, butfor our purposes, because we
could do this multiple ways, I'mgoing to call this bit Special
Delivery.
Okay, eric, this multiple ways.

(35:17):
Um, I'm gonna call this bitspecial delivery, okay, eric.
Um, yeah, right now we'rerecording.
It's like 2, 30 we haven't hadlunch.
No, are you interested in?

Eric (35:20):
lunch.
I would love lunch all right um, I'm thinking pizza okay, would
be good, yeah, I would love, soI would destroy a pizza eric,
and so by the end, so by the endof the episode I say we order a
pizza now.

Matt (35:34):
Okay, by the end of this episode it arrives and we enjoy
some pizza.
Post-show.

Eric (35:38):
That legitimately sounds baller.
Yes, yes.

Matt (35:42):
Give me, give me, give me.
Let me get some informationfrom you, Eric.

Eric (35:43):
Yeah.

Matt (35:44):
I think you and I come on we need an extra large right XL
baby.

Eric (35:48):
XL.
What kind of no idea if we'reactually ordering a pizza what
kind of toppings do you like onyour pizza?
I will fucks with pepperonipepper bacon I sorry if this is
controversial.
Love pineapple on my pizza.
I understand if other people donot it is controversial, of
course uh, do you love onion onmy pizza?

Matt (36:10):
oh, if I'm eating this pizza, I draw the line at onion
yeah, that's, perfectlypineapple I'll fuck with.
Okay, okay, but no, I know Iscratch the onion.

Eric (36:19):
My.
My line in the sand is blackolives on a pizza.
No, I don't want to bedisgusting.

Matt (36:24):
I, you know something, it's always the thing.
I've tried it once, yeah, once,once.
Noted my Grammy loves anchovieson her pizza hey the Ninja
Turtles warned me against it andI haven't fucked with it, you
should hate them.
I haven't fucked with it since.
Absolutely.
Where are you on like a stuffedcrust situation Depends yeah.

Eric (36:47):
In many ways like a credo of pizza in general is that
quantity is a quality all itsown.
But with stuffed crust.
I gotta have that quality.
I've had some shitty stuffedcrust and it can ruin a perfect
because I love the crust of apizza.

Matt (37:02):
Yeah.

Eric (37:03):
But I will fucks with stuffed crust, provided it comes
correct.

Matt (37:07):
How do you feel about like sausage?
I mean, because right now yougot pepperoni, bacon, pineapple,
love sausage Sausageage andmaybe some like green peppers.
Maybe, I don't know, it fuckswith green peppers or just
peppers.

Eric (37:20):
Banana peppers love.

Matt (37:23):
Yeah, how do you feel about like a chicken ranch
situation?
Yes, because I love a chickenbacon ranch pizza.

Eric (37:29):
I love a chicken bacon ranch pizza.

Matt (37:37):
Now, I don't know about ranch introducing that to this
whole arrangement, because rightnow we've formed a pizza that's
extra large pepper.

Eric (37:40):
Are you putting all of these on pepperoni bacon,
pineapple sausage green peppers.

Matt (37:42):
Okay, yeah, do you want to try that with me?
I would absolutely try thatwith you.
Great, because you're going toplace an order okay okay, now
here's what I'm gonna before youcall If this wasn't clear
already, eric, this is a game.
Oh, okay, so with any good gamethere comes rules.
Oh, I'm sure.
So what you're going to orderis an extra large pizza with

(38:05):
pepperoni, bacon, sausage,pineapple, green peppers.
Okay, there's a couple wordsyou can't say.
Okay, peppers.
okay, there's a couple words youcan't say okay, those words are
extra large pizza, pepperoni,bacon, pineapple sausage, green
peppers, and you're gonna orderthis now and I'll come by the

(38:27):
end of the show and so I'm gonnagive you yeah I'm gonna give
you I haven't made up a score.
Let's say you get five pointsper correct thing that shows up.
Those things show up correctly.
Everything gets you five points.
Okay, in my pocket here,annoyingly going off, I have the
buzzer from the game taboo thatis what.

Eric (38:48):
Okay, I've been wondering where the fuck that has been
coming from, because it's beenhappening at regular, irregular
intervals.

Matt (38:55):
I know, and I was troubleshooting things that kept
going off in my pocket and Iwas so pissed because it ruined
this moment.
So I have the buzzer from theboard game.
Taboo.
If I hear you on the phone saythese things, you get a buzz.
Okay, and that is going to beminus the two points.

(39:15):
Okay, in the interest offairness, right, uh, to everyone
in the world, the person you'regoing to call.
We're not going to record them,but I am going to have a
helpful friend of the showrecord the lines in its place.

Eric (39:31):
Are we putting like a true crime?

Matt (39:33):
reenactment we're gonna reenact the other side of the
phone.
Sorry a true bit reenactmenttrue bit, reenactment, so the
other side of the phone calldoes not have to be recorded and
no one can send us to jail Ilike it.
Yeah, I get pizza and I don'tgo to jail just to be clear,
this person was not recorded forthe show and it has been
replaced by a surprise friend ofthe show.

(39:56):
Okay, all right, eric, are youready to place our order?

Eric (40:00):
I am ready and babes, I cannot stress enough that I'm
gonna give it to you one.
I'm giving to you one last timethis is the first time I'm
learning of this bit this is allfresh.

Matt (40:08):
Yep, yep, extra, the words you cannot say but must convey.
Okay, extra large pizza, yeah,pepperoni.
Yeah, bacon, yeah, sausage,pineapple and green peppers.
Yeah, I've got the buzzer atthe ready.
Okay.

Eric (40:24):
Place the call here we go.

Dr. Lindsey R. Barr (40:29):
Thank you for calling Unnamed Pizza Place.
This is Lindsay.
How can I help you?

Eric (40:32):
Thank you for calling Unnamed Pizza Place.
This is Lindsay.
How can I help you, hi?
Yeah, I'd like to place anorder.
Sure, what's the name?
That's.
Eric.
Okay, eric, what would you liketo order?
Yeah, I'd love a pizza fordelivery.
So what are my size options?
12, 14, 16, and 20.
Can I get that 16 inch Withcheese?
Yes, please.

(40:53):
Okay, so I was gonna get somemeat options.
I was going to.
So what they asked me for.
They said they were like wewant all of the meats except ham
and chicken.
So like that would be, whatwould that be?

(41:15):
Meat pizza no ham.
Well, like, yeah, so like itwould be the discs, like the
little grease cups, the like.
You know what I mean.
Like the pig meat I'm sorry,Like it's been a long day I'm
struggling to remember the namesof things right now.
So you want what Like a delimeat.

(41:35):
No, not all, so I think youwere onto it earlier.
So like a meat pizza, just withno chicken or ham.

Okay, got it Two pizzas right.
This will be one pizza, onepizza, okay, is that it?

Eric (41:47):
Yeah, and I was going to add some more stuff to that,
some more stuff to that.
Yeah, okay, go ahead.
The uh.
What babe?
What's that?
What's that?
What's that fruit, um, thatthey put on?
You know, like I huh pineapple,yeah, that one, and I think
they're.
They said some kind of uh, it'sa vegetable, uh, it's like what

(42:10):
is it called?
We have mushroom green pepperblack olive.
The second one yeah, greenpepper.
Yeah.
Okay, is that everything?
And that's it.
Okay, that should be about 30,45 minutes okay.
Thank you so much, that'sperfect.
Okay, thanks, have a great dayyou too.
Bye-bye.
Bye Eric, I am a god.

Matt (42:29):
Eric, I am impressed.
Now I will say you've taken abit of a gamble with your points
.

Eric (42:36):
Oh, I know.

Matt (42:36):
Because we didn't get a specific confirmation that
pepperoni and bacon and sausagewill be there.
We got to pray.
We got to pray.
You got her to say greenpeppers Yep, you got fucking
lucky with pineapple.

You got fucking lucky with pineapple, my
guy, yeah, I fucking did.

Matt (42:52):
Now I have a question about the size.
She gave you a 20 inch.
You chose 16.

Eric (42:58):
Yeah, because typically I know a 12 is going to be small,
a 14 is going to be medium.
Oh, you see what happened.

Matt (43:05):
Son of a bitch.
You see, what you've done.

Eric (43:07):
Typically, 16 is the XL.
I'm going off of domino sizingscale, but there's another size
but there's another size,there's another size.

Matt (43:15):
So there's.
I believe she gave you foursizes and you chose the third
size.
We're going to be.
We're going to be taking thisto the receipt.
So that will take it to thereceipt.
If it says extra large, you getit.
If it doesn't, you don't know.

Eric (43:30):
I agree with that, you get a and you don't know, I I agree
with that.
You get a, and you did startoff by saying pizza.

Matt (43:36):
I know right out the gate.
Uh and again, special thanks todr lindsey arbor for uh putting
in the uh the voice over uhrecreation.
Again, we did not use or recordthe innocent bystanders voice.
This is a dramatic, dramatic uhreenactment of what could have
been said.

Eric (43:54):
Of a very real conversation.

Matt (43:56):
Of a real conversation that we did record Eric's half
of yes, so that was live.
But, eric, should we get backinto it?

Eric (44:05):
We should get back into it .

Matt (44:06):
Whose question is it?
It's mine.
Oh, go for it.

Eric (44:08):
So, mine really no it's my turn to ask you a question.
Yes, yes, yes.
So your last question what wasmy perfect sandwich?
Yes, this ties to one of myquestions.
Matt, I go into a bar.
Uh-huh.
I sit down and I look at thebartender and I order a Matt
Shea.

Matt (44:29):
Tell me how to make it.
Ooh, that's interesting, Eric.

Eric (44:39):
I'm going to say hmm Well, my go-to cocktail is usually a
Manhattan, which I'm currentlysipping.
Thank you, very much.

Matt (44:42):
Yes, which?
A Manhattan or an old fashionedor some sort of whiskey drink
generally, I don't reallydiscriminate though.
I'll do a vodka drink, I'll doa tonic drink, okay, uh, I was
just getting a littlechumbawumba action into the
situation there, but anyway, um,hmm, I mean just a matt hatton
a matt hatton.

Eric (45:03):
Matt hatton, now, what makes this different from a
manhattan?
You, son of a bitch.

Matt (45:09):
Yeah, you gotta.
You gotta judge it.
I would use Irish whiskey, asopposed to the general Canadian,
or rye, which is generallywhat's used in a Manhattan
Typically, or bourbon, which iswhat's in ours.
We've got makers in ours, butI'm not afraid to throw some
Jameson in Manhattan and inMatt-hattan it's required.

Eric (45:28):
Okay.

Matt (45:29):
Yeah.

Eric (45:29):
Yeah, any other little.
So I know Manhattan's typicallygoing to be your whiskey.

Matt (45:35):
Yeah, so you got, let's go with Jameson.

Eric (45:37):
Yep.

Matt (45:38):
We've got to have Martini Vermouth the name brand, only
sweet vermouth and a little ofthe bitters in there and bing
bang, boom gives yourself acherry and you're good.

Eric (45:49):
Thank you.

Matt (45:50):
You're welcome.

Eric (45:51):
To you sir.

Matt (45:54):
I raise my welcome to you, sir.
I raised my mat, my matthatten.
I raised my now empty manmatthatten glass to you, sir,
and I'm gonna ask you a questionnow, if that's all right with
you hit me with it.
What's your favorite place?

Eric (46:02):
oh, my favorite place on this earth is, uh, the
shenandoah river river, becauseyearly I have a canoe trip that
I take with friends where wespend two days paddling 25, 26

(46:22):
miles, yeah, of the shenandoahriver.
That's nice.
It is one of the most beautifulplaces on earth.
I am usually quite elevated,sure got to win when we're we're
and we spend two days listeningto music, eating food like
making food for each othereating it on the river, doing
river bits, swimming, paddling.

Matt (46:43):
Let me tell you this yeah, lindsey and I have these
inflatable kayaks that we got to, um, or inflatable kayak, it's
a two-person inflatable kayakthat we got to.
I think I told the story on thepodcast where my dad fell in
the pond, or maybe I just toldyou, but anyway, my dad fell in
this lake on vacation.
We had these things, we had tofish them out.

(47:03):
Anyway, we got the kayaks tokayak around this very specific
location and we're like, okay,if we're going to buy it, we got
to go kay kayaking and we haveyet to actually do that.
But, eric, I the idea of doingriver bits with you, bro.
I want to drive our significantothers up a wall I, I want to

(47:25):
be insufferable are you in thiscanoe, this kayak with alissa?
no, we actually, or it's allvintage.

Eric (47:33):
Each year people will pair up differently.
You can also solo kayak.
Are you renting these, thenYou're renting them from the
Downriver Canoe Company, whichis a wonderful company to rent
from.

Matt (47:45):
I'd love to do this at some point with you.

Eric (47:48):
I would do.
If I could do this everyweekend of my life, I would Well
, eric, we're on the river rightnow.

Matt (47:54):
Yeah, give me a river bit.

Eric (47:56):
Let me tell you I'll share one with you that happened this
past year.
Oh, okay, I'm paddling.
We're going around, just aroundthe river bend.
As we're coming around the bendahead of me, we're in the sort
of valley of the Shenandoah, sothere's just trees stretching up

(48:16):
on mountains to either side ofme and like there's more
mountain, more trees.
It is like it is just raw,primal river nature.
Yeah, and it is the sun.
It is bright, sunny day, it isgorgeous.
My friend Patrick, who is agold record selling musician,

(48:40):
who is toured with Dan Deacon.
He brings every year with himon the river a trumpet.
No, come on.
And he stood up and, mind you,he was dressed because it was
Sunday, we were all dressed asif we were going to church,
river bits, sure, he was in afull suit vest.
His wife was in a lacy dressand had a parasol.

Matt (49:02):
So dumb.

Eric (49:03):
People were baffled by it.
He stands up and there we're inour own group and like, ahead
and behind us there are otherlike paddling groups going down
the Shannon Golly and behind usthere are other like paddling
groups going down the shannongolly.
So while this is happening andwe're going through this like
perfectly, aesthetic curvatureriver he stands up and starts
playing, just starts playingjurassic park amazing.

(49:33):
And just when he hit it, it wasthe I I like had a tear in my
eye because it's just like thesun hitting everyone.
It felt like we were canoeingdown river in jurassic park.
That's amazing.
And when he finished he got astanding ovation from both

(49:55):
groups, ahead and behind of us.

Matt (49:57):
Nice Sitting ovation.
Sitting ovation, but an ovationnonetheless.

Eric (50:01):
It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
The Shenandoah River is myfavorite place on earth.
Amazing yeah.

Matt (50:07):
Amazing.
Yeah, wow, yeah, I've learnedsomething about you.

Eric (50:11):
Yeah, let's learn something about you.
Let's.
Okay.
Matt.
Yeah, what is the mostincorrect assumption that people
make about you?
Hmm, something that most peoplewould probably assume about you
or have assumed about you, andwhat and what it it like?

Matt (50:34):
that is not correct I think that sometimes in a um, in
a group of people and like thatdon't know me super well yeah
you know, with sort of my publicfacing persona sometimes, which
we all have, which we all have,I think there's a certain level

(50:55):
of I don't know confidence,bravado, like, like I do bits, I
make jokes, we love a bit I'mdoing all this stuff.
I think it can be very easy toassume that if somebody's like
taking the piss out of me orsomething that like nothing
phases me, like I'm good to rollwith all the punches you know

(51:19):
what I mean and that I don't gohome and in my car go, but why'd
they?
say that and think about it asyou fall asleep.

Eric (51:28):
What they?

Matt (51:29):
mean by that?
It's been 15 years and I'mstill wondering.
I'm serious, though.

Eric (51:35):
Yeah, no, you were someone who you take everything to
heart.

Matt (51:41):
There's a.
This is I'll tell you two quick, two quick college tales, okay,
the first being there wassomebody we went to college with
that I won't name, who didimpressions of other people in
the department, and once I wascoming around the corner, people
were hanging in the hallway andbefore I saw him, I heard him

(52:05):
and I realized he was doing memy nightmare.
You were living my nightmareand literally I'll say this if
you know who it is, if you knowwho you are my nightmare.
And literally I'll tell it,I'll say this if you know who it
is, if you know who you are, itwas a great impression.
So he was, he was doing the uh,he was doing the match.
A do the match a now people werelaughing and I I could

(52:28):
acknowledge in my brain, likethat's good, that, like that's a
good match, and I know he'sdoing me.
I don't need confirmation whichspeaks to how good it was.
That's what I mean.
I was like that fucker's doingme and before I rounded the
corner I just like listened,listen to what people were
laughing at and had a moment oflike shit, I do do that, don't I

(52:52):
like?
He like hit my mannerisms, hehit all these different things.
And then I switched on publicfacing match a because I rounded
the corner and just I likespread, like, spread out real
wide and just like a like asheriff at Main Street in the

(53:12):
old Wild West, I knew I justcame around the corner and like
dead-eyed him and I went well,well, well and like everyone had
a good laugh.
But I was thinking about thatimpression.
And my second quick collegestory is I had a terrible
relationship with my firstfreshman year roommate.

(53:34):
Oh, I remember we, we, webutted heads I thought that was
gonna come to blows.
I tried to get a point it got tothe point that I and this is
the the story he had thisfucking dehumidifier in his in
our room.
Our room was tiny yeah, it wasa tiny dorm room and in an old
building which has now beengutted and re-renovated to be

(53:56):
our uh the like medical facilityon campus, but at the time.
Thank god mercy killed thatfucking thing, literally the
walls and that's it.
Everything inside was gutted.
Yeah, but like, so, like mywhere my dorm room was, where
the scene of this crime tookplace, is now like a person's
desk.
But but like we were there, I,I, he said something like you

(54:19):
gotta stop touching mydehumidifier.
I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna.
It's loud and it doesn't needto be on because it's not humid
in here, and he went off.
He, like we went back and forthand I said to him I was like
fuck you, man, I'm not gonna dothat.
Like blah, blah, blah.
It doesn't matter what I said.

(54:40):
What was key was I said fuckyou.
And he responded by saying youjust really.
You just told me to fuck offand I was washing my hands.
I'll never forget this.
I turned around while drying myhands and I said no, what I
said was fuck you.

(55:00):
And Eric.
I live for that.
He began a tirade that he waslike man, listen, I fucking hate
you, I hate your fuckingsarcasm, I hate.
And Eric, I don't rememberanything after that because all
I was doing was like in my headI went wow, sarcasm was number

(55:21):
one so that's what, that's what.

Eric (55:26):
So I was like damn, that's that's I was like damn.

Matt (55:29):
I was like damn.
I am sarcastic but honest.

Eric (55:34):
Bless you for even having the self-awareness to like
acknowledge that, because yousee the the pattern I'm
recognizing is you're stopping,you're hearing what's happening,
you're going.
Oh, so that is how I'm beingthat's how I'm perceived that is
and like and like.
Okay, reflecting on this, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Internal, Okay Now, obviouslybeing a dear dear friend of

(55:57):
yours since college.
Yes, I see you beat yourself upway too much over a lot of
stuff.

Matt (56:03):
If my wife were here she'd agree with you.

Eric (56:07):
But the self-reflection is important.
Just don't.

Matt (56:09):
Because I did apologize for not figuring out how we
needed to overcome a somewhatforeseeable audio problem.
Pre-show probably about 35times 35 times.

Eric (56:20):
Matt, literally on his knees, go after having sat
through like audio hell for thefirst half hour.
He's like I dude, I am so sorry.
I'm like matt they.
I'm like I was sitting heresipping whiskey and reading a
book on my kindle the entiretime he was doing this.
Yeah, yeah, he's.
He's an angel.

(56:40):
Oh, he will, he will, he will,he will be, he will be.
I could be sitting on the backof our tax as matt is pulling us
through the swamp of sadnessand matt will be apologizing to
me.

Matt (56:54):
For the swamp, for the swamp, for the fault of the
swamp.

Eric (56:58):
For the fault of the swamp you apologize for so much that
you never have to apologize foryou.
Sweetheart, you, you, angel,ask me a question, you beautiful
bitch.

Matt (57:10):
All right, fine, I will.
What is it that you love sogoddamn much?
No, no, I'm gonna rephraserephrase tell me the moment you
fell in love with dungeons anddragons oh, dude.

Eric (57:26):
so I started playing and it was from the moment.
It was from the moment we began, because I started playing
Dungeons Dragons when I was 11years old and I started playing
because we went to I believe itwas a Rundle Mills when they

(57:46):
first opened up, when I was like11.
Sure, sure, for those not inthe know, rundle Mills is a mall
and they had a Wizards of thecoast store back when.
That was a thing where theywould sell this.
This was like the progenitor of,like the, the your friendly
local game store where theywould sell wizards of the coast,
board games, products likemagic cards, all the stuff which

(58:08):
included, because wizards ownshasbro, hasbro owns wizards.
What have you, what have you?
What have you?
Dungeons and Dragons there wasa starter kit and we saw
Dungeons and Dragons.
I had heard vaguely of Dungeonsand Dragons, but this is when
my dad told me he's like, ohyeah, he's like.
I used to play Dungeons andDragons so much when I was a kid
and he'd tell me stories aboutthese adventures and stuff.

(58:29):
You'd go on.
So my dad, my parents, boughtme this Dungeons Dragons starter
set.
It came with basic rules.
It was third edition.
Third edition not 3.5.
So for those of you followingalong, at home I had a rough
start because 3 had some kinksto iron out.
But how it started was my dadvolunteering to dungeon master

(58:56):
for me and my cousin just thetwo of us.
My cousin was also 11, so itwas my dad who would have been
honest to God, my age now I'm 34.
He would have been about 35, 36.
I'm 34.
He would have been like 35, 36.
Him, my cousin, would come overto spend the night at our house

(59:18):
for the weekend and me, him andmy dad would play Dungeons and
Dragons for the weekend.
We'd spend all day runningthrough these pre-module
adventures.
I'll never forget the veryfirst.
One of the very firstadventures that that box set
takes you through is you'retrying to rescue a unicorn and
gave you a little dungeon mapand pre-populated character

(59:40):
sheets that we got to selectthrough.
I believe I was a dwarf cleric.
I think my cousin, tommy, was ahuman fighter and my dad, to
kind of balance things out, gaveus a third care that we kind of
like co-controlled.
It was a rogue named Kerwin.

(01:00:00):
Wow, and I'll never forgetKerwin.
You remember the name.
Yeah, well, cause Kerwin wasreally good at finding traps.
Okay, and what I mean is hewasn't.
He had the skills as a rogue todetect traps and disarm them
and such.
We did not have that level ofunderstanding of the game yet.
Yeah, kerwin was good atfinding traps because we would
always send him first into everysingle room.

(01:00:22):
Smart, just shove him in there,find the trap.
But my, what made me fall inlove with D&D is I get my
kindness and my desire to helpothers from my mom.
I get my voracious reading andstorytelling and my sense of

(01:00:45):
humor from my dad.
So I got to see on the weekends.
When I was 11 years old inmiddle school I got to hang out
with my dad on the weekend andlisten to him telling these
stories, just reading out of anadventure module, but like it
was.
It was like I was getting readstories too by my dad and then
dad was also having helping mego on these adventures where I'd

(01:01:06):
get to like save the day andstuff and it was like it's very
sweet.
That's why.
That's why I'm a lifelong DMtoo.
I love giving that to people.

Matt (01:01:14):
I love I was like let's let's make a really cool story
together.
The answer I expected I don'tknow what I expected, but there
wasn't.
That that was very like.
How about that?
Core memory of my childhood Iwould think uh, should we maybe
voicemail before we continue,let's take a voicemail.

Dr. Lindsey R. Barr (01:01:33):
Hello, this is Dr Lindsay, famously from
this correction corner, callingjust to wish you a happy 100.
And I hope there are 100 moreat least, if not more than that
you get what I'm saying.
I don't have any correctionspresently that I'm prepared to

(01:01:54):
share with everyone, but knowthat they are coming.
I'm hopeful that in the nextbatch of 100, there are many
more conversations about how youall are wrong to come as well.
Okay, Love you both.
Bye.

Eric (01:02:08):
So welcome to the 100th episode of you Daft as featured
on Dr Lindsay Barr's CorrectionCorner Absolutely.

Matt (01:02:17):
Yes, yes, thank you.

Eric (01:02:19):
Sorry, wait Now would that make.
Okay, that makes Lindsay'sCorrection Corner cheers, which
makes us Frasier, Frasier.

Matt (01:02:31):
Hell yeah, hell yeah, eric , hell yeah, yeah, eric yeah.

Eric (01:02:34):
Yeah, yeah, I'll take it.
I'll take it oh.
God, I love Frazier Lindsay.
Dr Lindsay Barr.
Yes.
Thank you, absolutely, yourbest she's.

Matt (01:02:43):
Obviously she's not present in the home at this time
.
No, but yes.

Eric (01:02:49):
Keep us honest, lindsay, here's to keeping us honest for
another hundred episodes.
Cheers to that, cheers to that.
Cheers to that, my friend.

Matt (01:02:58):
You see what I've done.
Yeah, that was very good.
Thank you, all right.
Well, no pizza yet, so I thinkwe keep rolling.
Okay, let's see, I think it is.
Oh yeah, it is your question,yeah.

Eric (01:03:10):
Here's a great one.
This is the one question I hadhelp with.
Alyssa suggested this questionand I was like perfect, I'm kind
of mad because it's really good.
Is there something you'velearned about yourself on this
journey of doing this podcast,and is there something you've
learned about me?

Matt (01:03:31):
Wow, eric, this is is a good question this is a very
good question.
Thank you, alissa something I'velearned about myself, something
I've learned about you.
Yeah, no.
Next question no, no, no, no,no, no, I think I Well, I'll say

(01:03:51):
this I've learned throughediting I've sort of gotten rid
of you know how the thing,especially I feel like,
especially for performers peopledon't like hearing the sound of
their voice.
Yes, I like hearing.
Now, as any good performer whobecomes a podcaster I would say

(01:04:12):
guilty as charged of anyone whosays loves hearing myself talk,
but hearing it back wassomething I always had a problem
with, hearing my voice nails ona chalkboard, and two things
can be true, right.

Eric (01:04:27):
I can acknowledge that I am a good performer.
I have a good voice.

Matt (01:04:30):
I like like, yeah, I like how it sounds in my head, yeah,
and then when I hear it back, Iwant to die.
I that's not how I hear, that'snot how it sounds to me.

Eric (01:04:38):
No, don't have those skull acoustics don't have them skull
, don't have that, that richbass that I'm always with boom
boom.

Matt (01:04:46):
So I will say I've not only learned to listen to myself
through editing and whatnot,I've also learned how others are
hearing me and think about thaton stage and other places
subconsciously, like I know II've been able to train my voice

(01:05:07):
.
Here comes the pizza to uh saylike um moment of truth.

Eric (01:05:14):
Moment of truth he's going to the door.
I cannot face the pizza person.
I I did give them a nice tipthough.
Hi, how are you?
How are you good?
Thank you very much.
Look, uh, kids, friendlyreminder if you're going to do a
bit with your pizza delivery.
Hi, how are you?
I'm good, how are you Good?
Thank you, look, kids, friendlyreminder if you're going to do
a bit with your pizza deliveryperson, tip well, thank you so
much.
Tip well, eric, look at thatpie.

(01:05:38):
Eric, look at that pie.

Matt (01:05:43):
I asked the man for the receipt Good man, what does it
say, eric?
It says right here at the top,16 inch extra large.

Eric (01:05:54):
Yes, god, yes yes.

Matt (01:05:58):
Eric, you get the points.
Let's take a look at this thing.

Eric (01:06:01):
Yeah, let's crack it.
We'll come back to thisquestion.

Matt (01:06:03):
Well, this was supposed to be the end of the episode.

Eric (01:06:05):
Yes, this closing bit.
Oh, this was supposed to be theend of the episode.
Yes, this closing bit.

Matt (01:06:07):
Oh, this is true, but like fuck it, it's here now.

Eric (01:06:09):
It's here now.
They came faster than theypromised.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, matt, what doyou see on that pie?

Matt (01:06:15):
All right, so I'm going to take a picture here too.
It'll be on the Instagram.
Ok, I see pineapple.
Okay, I see sausage.
Definitely see sausage, sausage, pepperoni, pepperoni.

Eric (01:06:32):
I think that's Matt.
Do it like you're on CSI, likelean up, put your finger.

Matt (01:06:39):
Yeah that's right.
Give it a little.
I need to know if, is that?

Eric (01:06:42):
bacon or.

Matt (01:06:42):
That's bacon, baby Derek.
You did it, did, I nail it.
You got them all.
Yes.
Everything's there, happy hundobabe.
Everything's there, eric, youfucking nailed it.

Eric (01:06:57):
What a good A.
Also, now that I've won or nowthat I've done a good job, I
could say great bit, great,great segment, great segment.
Thank you, I'm putting that onthe floor.
Thank you, taskmaster.
Yes, thank you, thank you.
Oh, we love a floor pizza yeah,so that's in its box.

Matt (01:07:18):
It's sitting over there um back to the interview back to
the interview also.

Eric (01:07:23):
I just kind of had a little mini revelation about our
show.
Our show is like floor pizza,tell me, sometimes you're
walking through life you see apizza box on the floor.
Now, 99 million times out of100 million, you know that pizza
box is empty 100%, but our showis the one time you go know

(01:07:46):
what could?

Matt (01:07:47):
hurt so next bitch open, there's pizza next, next time we
do special delivery, it'll beme I'm making I love it.

Eric (01:07:55):
It'll be me.
I love this doesn't have to bepizza it could be oh yeah, oh, I
look forward to figuring out agood food for you all right so
what was I saying?
So you were talking about howthis uh allowing you to hear
your own voice repeatedly andincorporate that into your work
as an actor.

Matt (01:08:10):
Just to thesis, sum it up, it, I think, has made me
realize, as a performer, what Isubconsciously even have to
change to make bits, make jokes,make timing sound the way I
want it to to an audience.

Eric (01:08:26):
Yeah, you know, it's like a little subconscious tweak's
like and you, daft, gave me thatfuck yeah, dude, it's like
exposure therapy, it's, and it'slike you can't grow without
some amount of discomfort andhearing yourself like because,
like originally, when we firststarted this, I was editing
episodes you've been editing ourepisodes way longer than I ever

(01:08:49):
did you edited, I think, thefirst 21 episodes I'm pretty
sure, and then I, I took overand you're a fuck.
You're way better at it than Iever was.
Um, thank you, but like in asimilar vein that I definitely
had to grapple with that shittoo.
It's like it.

Matt (01:09:07):
It it forces you to become really okay with hearing the
sound of your own voice yeah,which, and, and not only that,
but like mannerisms and things,like I've learned I do that shit
a lot and try to cut back in myactual life.
Like I'll be talking to lindsey, we'll be, uh, I'll be.
I'll do this weird restartthing that all the listeners

(01:09:29):
know I do.
Yeah, and I've tried.
I've tried to do a hard, likeif I catch myself doing it in
real life, I'll be.
Like what I'm trying to say isthat, like, cut the stream of
consciousness and get to it.
Um, as for you, yeah, yeah.

Eric (01:09:46):
What have you learned about?

Matt (01:09:47):
me.
I learned that you smack themlips a whole fucking lot.
I truly do.

Eric (01:09:55):
I truly do.
I hope it's gotten better sinceI started self-monitoring, but
after a while it's allsubconscious.

Matt (01:10:01):
I'm trying to think of something on a, on like a deeper
level.
Well, I'll say I've learnedwhat I already knew, which is
that doing this podcast has andlike we started in 2020, yeah,
but I don't like to think of itas a covid pandemic podcast.
Lots of pandemic podcasts wereborn and have already died we're

(01:10:25):
still going baby still chuggingalong.
It's four years we've beendoing the show.
Four years, Eric, we've beendoing the show.
We could have put a kid throughcollege in that time.
All right, sure, I'm sure wecould have With what money.
We just started the PatreonSubscribe today.
We don't have a single patron.
Please join our.

Eric (01:10:44):
Patreon.
That should be a goal.
That should be like a verylong-term goal.
Let's get the patron, get itswollen so much that we can put
a kid through college.

Matt (01:10:51):
The first patron is probably going to be Lindsay,
which means I'm paying for myown Patreon.
Hell yeah, hell yeah baby.
So anyway, I think the podcasthas been a really good way for
us to get back to how we were incollege.

(01:11:11):
Oh my God, yeah, you know whatI mean when we could just sit
around, shoot the shit and havesome questions as prompts.

Eric (01:11:18):
This show was born out of a very real energy that we
cultivated in college, which waslike our friendship was forged
in, like those 2 amconversations.
They happen in corners ofparties, they happen in parking
lots, they happen in dorm roomsafter everyone else comes.
They've happened as we arewandering about campus, just

(01:11:42):
those.
It's that time of night whenyou ask the questions that you
really can't ask at any pointthroughout your day because
you're busy with life, with work, with school, with shit.
But it's like that.
There's nothing else to be donetoday.
There's nothing else but justtwo humans noodling about in the
spaghetti of the universe weand Eric, we?

Matt (01:12:05):
I was going to cut this question.
Okay, I have this questionready, so anyway, to put a pin
on it, I would say I learnedthat, like through the like
decade plus years from collegeon, I've learned that our
chemistry and our friendshipdidn't fucking change.

(01:12:25):
No, like it's sitting there,even though, like throughout
those decades, there were likesolid years where we didn't talk
.

Eric (01:12:33):
No, yeah, we, it was when we just straight up lost touch.

Matt (01:12:36):
Yeah, but then we would.
We had moments, like you know,you were in my wedding and all
this stuff Like that came back.
You did I cast you in a show atSingle Carrot, so that stuff
like that came back.
You did, I cast you in a showat single carrot, so that came
back.
So there were moments, but likeit wasn't, like it was in
college, when we were justhanging out in the glen.
There was.
There were times where we'd goto hang out in your room and

(01:12:56):
you'd be like.
You'd be like, oh man, I'mfucking tired and you just take
a nap and I'd do something elsejust hanging out, just fucking,
just vibe, while I pass out fora little bit yeah, and so it was
refreshing to know that, likeit's never been, it's never,
never gone down the cup hasnever drained.

Eric (01:13:13):
In fact, I would say our doing this podcast with you has
only like I you're, you're oneof my bestest friends in the
whole wide world I fucking want.
You don't want to know what oneof my questions are.
I got a little thought.
Do you know how loved you are?
Do you know how fucking lovedyou are?

Matt (01:13:33):
I think the honest answer to that, Eric, is no.

Eric (01:13:36):
And I will spend the rest of my life reminding you, you
fucking asshole, how fuckingloved you are.
I love you, so You're going tomake me cry.
I'm already there.
You're making me tear up.
I love you so much.
Lindsay loves you so much.
Your friends love you so much.

Matt (01:13:49):
Eric, this right now too much, it's too much.

Eric (01:13:53):
I know.

Matt (01:13:53):
I'm going to get overwhelmed.

Eric (01:13:54):
I'm going to get verklempt .
Oh sorry, it's just you surethere aren't onions on that
pizza.

Matt (01:14:08):
There better not be.
There better not be.
I'll be upset.
Uh, the, you know I wasn'tgonna ask this question to get
back to it to, but since we'retalking about college, since
we're talking about the good olddays, yeah, what was your
initial impression of me?
my initial impression of you goahead here is my initial

(01:14:30):
impression of you having we weinitially met yeah, and we
talked about where we met and Ibelieve I talked about like we
met in auditions for the actingtrack at towson.
I told you my initialimpression to you.

Eric (01:14:43):
But I don't think, I, I realized, I don't think I ever
got yours my, my firstimpression of you and and I
don't think I realized, I don'tthink I ever got yours my my
first impression of you and andlet this be both a feather in
your cap and a cross to bear anda testament to how far we have
come.
Ok.
Ok.
I was.
My first impression of you canbest be summarized as oh fuck,

(01:15:05):
he's my Gary Oak.
Gary, oh, that is mycompetition, that is my rival,
that is my.
That was like because you, youwere charismatic, you fucking
have oils like I.
I came in I say this with love.
I never felt when I say feltthreatened, not physically or

(01:15:25):
mentally, but like as actors toactors.
You're the only person our yearI ever felt threatened by.
I was like oh man, we're gonnabe competing for roles, we're
gonna be goes like like this is.

Matt (01:15:36):
I was like we got, I I'm gonna.
I take this as a giantcompliment you, you truly.
Like you like and you're right,we both, both, I mean, we
competed for us throughoutcollege, but none more famously,
I think, than for Scottish playat the end yes for Mackers.

(01:15:57):
We both auditioned for McBee.

Eric (01:16:00):
Yeah, yes, we did.

Matt (01:16:02):
I thought I got it was.
There was a second callback andyou were called back from
McDuff and started readingMcDuff and I wasn't involved in
the second callback.

Eric (01:16:17):
Oh, so you were convinced that like oh, he's got it.

Matt (01:16:21):
I was convinced I didn't.
I not only didn't, if I eitherdidn't get cast or I got cast as
like one of the smaller partsthat didn't need an additional
read because the people werecalled back, were like mcduffs
and I think maybe lennox's andthings like that, but like the
um who went to former guest ofthe show, mike perry jr.

Eric (01:16:41):
By the way, hell yeah, mike perry but like the like.

Matt (01:16:45):
I don't think there were a lot of lady mBees and things
like that and but I didn't knowany of that.
I just knew that there was asecond callback and I wasn't on
the list which is never.

Eric (01:16:57):
Never a good thought crosses your mind when that
happens.

Matt (01:16:59):
Yeah, so I remember how I found out I was cast and I
remember how, um I first foundout I was cast and I remember
how, um, I first thought Iwasn't cast at all, but we both
I remember us having a momentwhere, in the hallway of, like,
let's not fight about it.
Like, good luck to you truly.

Eric (01:17:16):
Oh my god, yes, I remember that, we, we, yeah, we had.

Matt (01:17:19):
I was like, no matter what happens, the right person got
it well, there were other peopleinvolved in the casting
equation for mcb and I rememberyou.
I said to you and I do meanthis to this day if anyone beat
me for that part, you're theonly person I would have been
okay with.
Hell.

(01:17:40):
Yeah, you're the only personthat I would have been like.

Eric (01:17:43):
I can see why, fucking same that I can see why they got
it yeah, and that's that's whatchanged from the initial
impression over the years.
By by by mackers, it went fromlike it started as and I don't
mean this in an aggressive likefuck you, wade, but it truly
started as like I'm going tohave to be he is my competition
at every audition, because weare like definitely we're at

(01:18:06):
that at that level together, buttransformed into like truly a
deep, deep appreciation foranother actor who I was like it.
It went from god I can't, Ican't lose roles to this person
to if it's not me it, betterfucking it, better be him it
better and that's how I feel,yeah, throughout the years.

Matt (01:18:27):
But and like, yeah, I know I got mcb, you got mcduff.
But I am so glad that we endedup in a iteration of those two
roles because oh my god, yeslike when I think back to
college, when I think aboutrehearsals and stuff.
My favorite version of all thatis you and me doing that

(01:18:49):
fucking fight our.

Eric (01:18:50):
Our final fight from mackers is, to this day, my my
favorite fight.
It was so and the first.

Matt (01:18:59):
I remember I'm sure you do too.
The first time we because whenwe do rehearsals for that, it
was just us and lew Louis Shaw,the fight choreographer, the
fight director, in the room,with the stage manager and the
director.
And then it wasn't until techthat other people saw the other
people in the cast saw the fightand they gathered round like

(01:19:23):
they were all around theperimeter.
There was a moment where you hadthis big shield and came at me
like Captain America, liketrying to slam my skull open
with it, and I, lewis, gave methis badass fucking catch.
I caught it with my hand, Ispun you around and then I threw
the shield.

Zack Deuce (01:19:43):
Yes.

Matt (01:19:43):
And I threw it like offstage into the wings, but in
the room I just threw it, or Ialways threw wings, but in the
room I just threw, or I alwaysthrew it.
And it's at the feet of stevebaroga, one of our dear friends,
dear friends, and I remembersteve looked down where I threw
it and looked back up at me andhe I could see on his face that
he was thinking this is sofucking cool and I just I love

(01:20:08):
that fight it was so that fightthere and it was a workout.

Eric (01:20:11):
Oh, it was god.
We were fucking after,especially for you, because this
fight is happening.

Matt (01:20:18):
Yeah, you cut off my head.

Eric (01:20:19):
I've had a few scenes throughout the play at this
point.
Yeah, you have been on stagepretty much the entire time yeah
and then you have for like twohours, yeah, and then you have
to fight yeah, and it and you.

Matt (01:20:34):
I had chosen to direct in the spring of senior year.
You did not, so you were inanother show.
Mcbee was my last towowsonUniversity performance.
Holy shit, it was, it was.
And like I knew that, obviouslygoing in, I had already decided
to direct.
And so when we got off stage,when you caught off my head and

(01:20:57):
I did the magic because we had adummy Matt Shea with a dummy
head- yeah, it was very welldone.

Eric (01:21:03):
It was cast from your head .

Matt (01:21:04):
And there was actually two .
There was the one that came offin the moment, and then you
came in with another one thatwas full of blood one I had to
gang.

Eric (01:21:11):
I had to hold the head upside down.
It was basically a vase with alike the head was a vase and the
neck hole was the top of thevase and they filled with blood
and I would just walk out as I'mwalking, I'd flip it over and
just waterfall of blood.
It always got a gasp it alwaysgot a oh.
And I held it aloft.

(01:21:33):
Look where stands the usurper'scursed head.

Matt (01:21:36):
Yeah, and we had these witches.
We incorporated.
The witches just so happened tobe able to flaunt their capes
in such a fashion that I wasable to spin around to one of
the two pillars on stage, whichwas hollow, and disappear and

(01:21:58):
they would shove out my bodyfrom underneath the stage.
And I remember getting in thatpillar and being like for that
last time, the last show, andbeing like that was it, like I
just capstoned my Towson actingcareer.
Now that would actually happenagain because we were chosen to

(01:22:21):
do the show at KCACTF.
So we remounted the show inPennsylvania weeks later or
months later really.
And but that first moment of mebeing like wow, I remember
getting off stage and you and Ihad a moment of like I'm so glad
it was with you.
Yes, god it, we were.

(01:22:44):
And we started together in thataudition room viewing each
other as competition and mebeing very wrong Because you
made this joke just to catcheveryone up who skipped this
episode.
You made this joke about beinglike so do we bribe you now or
later To Steve Sada who woulddirect McPhee?
So you made this joke and Iremember thinking like I got

(01:23:09):
this shit in the bag, put me innow put me in this program now.
But like then, first day, firstday of school, we show up.
You're the first person I raninto and I saw you and I was
like I remember that guy fromauditions and we've been
attached to the hip ever since.
Yeah, we have buddy man.
I saw you and I was like Iremember that guy from auditions
and we've been attached to thehip ever since.
Yeah we have buddy man I loveyou, bud, I fucking love you,

(01:23:31):
and you know what eric do, howmany you got other questions you
want to ask.
I got others that I don't needto we can also ask later.
Yeah, I think I think that's abutton on it.
I think that's a button.
But I know, eric, that we havea very special.
Uh, it's not even a voicemail.
We got an.
We got an email from zach deucewith a?

(01:23:56):
d with an attached um voicemailwith the attachment for me with
the attachment for us, eric,okay, so uh, let's go ahead and
listen to this audio file.

Eric (01:24:11):
So full disclosure.
The other messages we've got,we previewed a little bit, or we
were given.
Well, they just came into thethought line.
Yeah, they came into thethought line, so we would see
the transcript.

Matt (01:24:24):
Except for you, ian, there was no, there's no
transcripting that.

Eric (01:24:29):
But uh, zach gave explicit instructions for us to wait
until we were sitting downtogether and recording the
episode to play his voicemail.
So neither.

Matt (01:24:41):
So exactly put it at the end this better be good um.
Er you ready?
I am ready, brother.

Zack Deuce (01:24:51):
Oh, hold on, Is this thing on?
Oh, feedback.
Anyways, matthew Shea, ericPoach, it's Zach from the
Neatcast, occasionally from FNCultured and the probably works
network with all the funpodcasting stuff I do over there

(01:25:12):
.
I wanted to say, hey,congratulations guys, a hundred
episodes it's not easy.
We know it's not easy creatingcontent but also being as
creative and funny andentertaining as you guys are.
I don't know what that's like,but I know what it is like to
listen to that.
And that's you two every coupleweeks, Except for those weird
ones where we get that kind ofbonus where we get like two or

(01:25:34):
three weeks in a row of you daft.
Oh, that's like Christmas, man,I love what you guys do.
You're amazing.
You're incredible people.
I'm very blessed to have gottento know you guys remotely,
obviously through the podcastingnetworks that we have, but also
maybe someday we'll be able tomeet in person.

(01:25:54):
You never know when that mayhappen.
Yes, ominous music right here.
There's a lot of favoritethings you guys have covered,
from your humble beginnings ofwhere a centaur will go to the
bathroom.
You know Christmas pickles andGoogle gripes.

(01:26:14):
Also, of course, the mascotbracket that you guys did, which
questionable Certain parts ofit.
Certain ways people wereeliminated.
They were questionable, butbesides that, you guys are both
loved and adored.
Just keep doing what you'redoing.
We look forward to it.
We love you.
I do want to take a moment andgo through some of my personal

(01:26:38):
favorite titles that you guyshave put out there, because you
know it's just amazing.
I would like to highlight the,the comedic genius that is, the
titles of yadaf are you fuckingkidding me right now scrapple

(01:27:00):
virgin.
Episode three mayo gate, yougotta have that Christmas pickle
.
Radicalized Dolphins,schrodinger's Hatchback,
flamboyant Versification.
Do you even chuck bro, pouch me, mama Booty Scoots Sell out

(01:27:28):
cash in Grippable skull, thelong, dark ball pit of the soul.
Classic Humpty Dumpty's bumpydumpy.
My favorite Truck, nuts, ridesyou and Steve lists in Seattle.
Also instant Again thank youvery much for your contribution

(01:27:52):
to uh, creating content beingfunny, giving us something to
look forward to every couple ofweeks.
You are both a treasure and mayyou forever continue podcasting
.
As I leave, I just want to knowhow you guys have scored in the
game.
Anyways, bye-bye.

Eric (01:28:15):
Wow, there was more production value in that clip.

Matt (01:28:19):
Than our whole show Than our whole Zach.

Eric (01:28:23):
What, hey?
He's the radio professional Ididn't know.
There was a section of myserotonin receptors labeled Zach
Deuce reading off episodetitles of my show to an epic
music score.
I'm going to be chasing thatdragon for the rest of my life.

(01:28:44):
100% gonna be chasing thatdragon for the rest of my life,
a hundred percent.
Um, and I, personally, yeah, Ithere are so many words that I
want to or could to say to tryto convey all the feelings I'm
feeling right now afterlistening to that incredibly
kind thing that he just did forus and funny thing that he just
did for us.

(01:29:04):
It boils down to this Matt,yeah, may we spend the next 100
episodes being the podcast thatZachy Deuce knows we can be.

Matt (01:29:18):
Amen brother, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.

Eric (01:29:22):
God, that was funny.

Matt (01:29:24):
Jesus Christ, that was funny.
I'm a little speechless was I'ma little speechless.
I am a little speechless aboutit.
Floored eric, I think god damnthat was good.
I got other shit, you got othershit.
I say we can get back to it on abonus episode potentially or
the next time we want to dopersonal questions, yeah, so

(01:29:45):
we'll save those, because Ithink that's what better way to
end.
We nailed it, we nailed it so,uh, well, I think that'll be.
I'll do it for the 100thepisode of you didn't ask for
this.
I'm so glad we did this inperson.
I'm like this.
This felt so nice.
This has been such a delight.
This is great to just betalking and not be talking into

(01:30:05):
a zoom camera and having anotherscreen distracting me.
I'm just looking at yourfucking tall ass body.
God, look at your beautiful ass.

Eric (01:30:12):
God, little gritsy, little grippers curling, yeah, damn,
you got some it's just tension.

Matt (01:30:19):
It's just toe tension.
Yeah, it's just me and anxietyrocking and vibing.
It's working for me.
Thanks, it's probably.
I'm probably gonna get carpaltunnel in my foot, but yeah, so
anyway, folks, it's back to it'sback to the basic show.
After this, we're gonna needthose questions and you can give
them to us.
You didn't ask for thisgmailcom, that's all spelled out

(01:30:40):
.
But you can also find us onsocial media.
You didn't ask pod.
That's the letter.
You didn't ask pod instagram,twitter, facebook, tiktok, etc.
Etc.
But I'd be remiss if I didn'tplug one more time in the show
notes.
Go to our patreon.
Yeah, we will be dropping thevery first oops all tangents,

(01:31:03):
oops, all tangents, oops, alltangents.
Edition of you daft.
We got merch coming.
It is a promise.
We will have this fucking thinglaunched by year's end at
latest.
It will happen and you'll get20% off with the middle tier
there.
And, of course, hop into thatDiscord.
Right the fuck now and get atus, get at us.

(01:31:24):
Get at us is what I said, eric,did we miss anything?

Eric (01:31:31):
Not a goddamn thing, my friend.

Matt (01:31:33):
Then I think, from all of us here, you didn't ask for this
for the 100th time.
My name is Matt Shea, my name'sEric Poach and listen, you
didn't ask.

Eric (01:31:44):
But today we did.

Matt (01:31:47):
Today we did Come here and hug me buddy.
Come here and hug me buddy,come over here.
I love you oh my God, I'm goingto eat the shit out of that
pizza.
You're a good man, you knowwhat.
Let's end this fucking thing byseeing how this tastes.

Eric (01:32:03):
Yeah, I think it's going to be a good pie.
Yeah oh man, oh oh yeah, get init, bob you king.

Matt (01:32:14):
Wash the couch.

Eric (01:32:16):
I'll eat it.

Matt (01:32:17):
Here we go.
Taste test.
Good job, eric.
Oh, that hits, you know what.
The pineapple with the baconand everything oh, I love it.

Eric (01:32:29):
This is rocking, yeah, and I normally don't go in for
green peppers, but it workedvery well with this.
Yeah, yeah.

Matt (01:32:35):
Excellent ordering Good bet, good bet, good bet.
Thank you.

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