November 7, 2024 • 65 mins
Femur or Tibia? No, we don't understand the question either but it came in on the thoughtline so we're answering it. Then: what is a Lego set that absolutely needs to exist but never will? Finally, we tackle another workplace question before Eric unleashes a Pop Quiz on Matt.
Join our Patreon!
What's included?
$1/month = YDAFT Punks
- Access to the YDAFT Discord
$4/month = YDAFT Giants
- Access to the YDAFT Discord
- 20% off all merch (coming soon!)
- And exclusive access to our new monthly bonus episodes..."Opps! All Tangents!"
"Oops! All Tangents" is a shorter, question-free episode dropped on the first Friday of every month. We'll tell longer stories, take deep dives into specific topics, and do all sorts other fun things we can't fit into our regular episodes. Join us!
Go to https://www.patreon.com/youdidntaskforthis to become a member!
We're on TikTok now! Go see our dumb faces!
Submit your least pressing questions, local legends, definitive rankings, neighborhood group drama, and whatever else you want us to cover at youdidntaskforthis@gmail.com or @udidntaskpod on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
You can also leave us a voicemail on The Thoughtline at (410) 929-5329 and we might just play it on the show!...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Eric (00:00):
Eric, let me ask you a question.
Ask away my friend.
You're going to a restaurantand with you are a group of
friends, Nice.
Matt (00:10):
Love this already.
Eric (00:11):
You're already going.
Matt (00:13):
Okay.
Eric (00:14):
And you're sitting down.
Let's say there's 10 people.
Matt (00:18):
Okay 10 people in the restaurant.
Eric (00:20):
No, no, no, like 10 in your group of you know, 10 in my
group.
Matt (00:23):
Okay, let's say six okay let's say six, are we sharing an
uber?
Eric (00:29):
whatever the fuck is gonna make this prompt continue.
Got okay, a group of friendsokay.
So a lift.
Got it okay, more more than afour or some okay yeah yeah, a
more than a decided group, agrouping.
Yes, yeah, yeah, you've endedup at this restaurant.
Mike (00:47):
Okay.
Eric (00:47):
You're looking at the menu and somebody and this is almost
guaranteed with a group With agroup, Somebody says, hey, what
if we just got a bunch of foodand shared?
I hate it.
Matt (01:03):
What is your response?
Nightmare Hate it Fucking, hateit fucking eric I knew you was
a real one to I, I am a real one, I keep that.
Eric (01:14):
I hate that so much I'm pretty good at at filtering
myself in public, uh, in socialsituations, specifically,
specifically, my face.
But if somebody starts that,friend, we had plans to go to
this restaurant.
I've obviously looked up thefucking menu already.
I know what I want.
Matt (01:36):
I had my entire life decided.
Eric (01:40):
Why would I get 10 things that I don't want and share them
, and share also the?
Matt (01:48):
one thing I do Ultimately, I feel getting less food
throughout the market.
Because I don't know about you,Matthew.
When I order something, I amordering proportional to my
hunger.
I was like this will satiate me.
This is one unit of eric food.
Here it goes.
I'm numb, I'm full.
(02:09):
Now you have thrown off myfucking calculus lindsey and I
don't even share food.
Eric (02:15):
Okay, what we'll do.
What we'll do is the like I'llget this, you get this.
Oh, try, you, try this.
Here's your sampling, here's mysampling, and we move on and
meanwhile I feed alissa, like alittle bird I was asked.
I was gonna ask do you andalissa like put a pin in the
(02:35):
group?
How do you and alissa behave ina restaurant just in terms of
ordering food?
I don't care about your heavypetting oh, in terms of food.
Matt (02:42):
So if we're at a group, it really between the two of us.
I am a never-ending bastion ofhunger and alissa's hunger comes
and goes and flits about like alittle butterfly on the wind.
Makes no sense.
So there there are times whenshe's like, hey, I'm not really
hungry.
Do you want to get this onereally big thing and just split
it?
And and I'm totally fine withthat, because I'm like there are
(03:08):
days where Alyssa's like I'mnumb, numb, numb, all done.
I'm just like there's still somuch I am constantly eating
Alyssa's pizza bones.
I am, I, sorry.
Eric (03:18):
Sorry, Ooh, ooh ooh, beep, beep, beep, Back it up.
What are pizza bones?
Matt (03:26):
No, the bones.
You know when the crust winsthe bones.
Eric (03:27):
Yeah, okay, that's fine.
I also don't eat crusts, butlindsey does, so I always see
that I just hand my crusts over.
Matt (03:33):
I fucking love crusts I just always hand them over or
get rid of these useless thingswe'll, we'll split, we'll split
fries all the time.
Well, sure, yeah, fries don'tcount.
Mike (03:44):
Yeah, fries don't count.
Matt (03:45):
Because those will just come in all cute, Do these
little, cute little nibbles onthe food and I'm like are you?
You're good Like you, she'slike man.
Eric (03:57):
Okay, and then if you get dessert, what happens?
Matt (04:00):
So we will.
Usually, when it comes todessert situations, we will also
do this throughout every stepin the process, like we'll both
order something different andthen give each other half of it.
Eric (04:11):
Sure, and that's appropriate, I feel.
Yes, I mean, lindsay wouldnever do half of like another
dessert, like she wouldn't beable to handle that after a meal
.
but she also is very guilty ofum, and we've talked about my I,
(04:31):
we've talked about how the, thebar family as a whole doesn't
order dessert and that'ssomething I fundamentally don't
agree with fucks me um no, I'vestopped giving a shit for the
most part, like, yeah, whenwe're out with her parents, I
will, almost out of spite, belike when her dad's like are we
good for dessert?
Yeah, I think we're good.
Mike (04:46):
I'll be like let's take a look at the menu.
Eric (04:51):
I'll go ahead and peruse cause.
Matt (04:53):
I am still.
Eric (04:54):
I'm still an upright citizen of America.
Matt (04:59):
Is that a?
Eric (05:00):
key lime pie my goodness, is that a creme?
Matt (05:04):
brulee, you got on that dessert call.
If there's a key lime pie onthat, is that a creme brulee?
You got on that dessert call.
If there's a key lime pie onthat dessert menu, it's all
fucking over, I do love a keylime pie and I do love creme
brulee.
Eric (05:12):
I love desserts in most shapes and sizes they're fucking
rules.
But lindsey is very guilty ofbeing like oh, I'll just have
some of yours.
And that is when I'll be likelet's just stop.
Stop right there.
Am I choosing two desserts ornot?
Because there's a 50-50 chance.
When she was like oh, I'm toofull for dessert, I'll just have
some of yours.
(05:32):
How much?
Mike (05:34):
Yeah, how much is that?
How much is some here?
Eric (05:36):
Because if I'm getting a slice of key lime pie and you
eat half of it, guess what?
I need two key lime pies.
Matt (05:48):
Because I can house this pie, I can, I, I can shelve this
fucking pie my body isexpecting one perfectly full
triangle of key lime pie I'mgonna dumpster this key lime pie
fucking.
This is key lime pie and I'm alocksmith.
Let's fucking go.
But like unlocked.
Elisa is very good at particularalissa can take a look at
something and like,preternaturally, go like, oh,
(06:10):
you're gonna want your own,aren't you?
I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Iam.
She was like that as well andI'm always like I will if we're
in a situation where she's likeI don't want dessert, but like
can I just have some girls like,I will buy you any dessert on
earth if it means that I get allof mine in, depending on how
(06:31):
ravenous and on yielding myhunger is.
Eric (06:33):
As far as I'm concerned, desserts have no price.
Like yeah, at that point in themeal, we're in, Fuck it, we're
in.
I've already gotten threethirteen dollar cocktails.
Like fuck it.
What's another twelve dollarpiece of cake?
Matt (06:46):
it.
It's, it's like yeah, this isthis.
It's like the sunk cost fallacy, except you get cake at the end
, except you get cake at the end.
Eric (06:58):
Now, enough, enough about, enough about dessert.
Let's get back to this group.
Matt (07:03):
Oh shit, right, we're hypothetical.
Eric (07:08):
I told you I had this pinned for an oops, all tangents
but, we could adapt it for acold open, and here we are.
Matt (07:15):
Remember, folks, only the first tangent's free.
Actually, it wasn't.
Eric (07:21):
So, okay, I'm just glad that we are aligned, that the
people are like what if we allsplit our spawns of Satan
himself?
Yeah, because, like you'reputting, because as soon as you
say that if you, dear listener,are one of these people or have
been one of these people, justknow you are putting someone,
(07:41):
even if they enthusiastically,are like oh yeah, that's a good
idea.
You have put at least oneperson in every group in a
terrible position who have to belike sure, I didn't have
exactly the meal I wanted pickedout already.
Matt (07:59):
I didn't have my destiny writ cross the stars for this
meal.
Eric (08:04):
No, not me I'm fine with inevitably splitting this
equally, even though I didn'tequally eat all the food.
Matt (08:14):
I will say exceptions to this are if I'm going to a
restaurant where it is a knownfactor that, like shared plates,
is how it's served.
Mike (08:23):
Like indian food fucking like fucking like lots of
different.
Matt (08:27):
Like, uh, fucking ethiopian food is fucking
incredible, but it's like alllike it's shared stuff, so like,
and that's fine that, because Iknew that going in yes, like
single carrot.
Eric (08:40):
Single carrot had a long stint.
My theater company that isrip'd had a long.
My theater company that isRIP'd had a longstanding
tradition of after we close ashow, after we do Strike,
specifically after Strike Night,we go to this Indian place in
Baltimore and we would get waytoo much food that we didn't
need.
Even if it was like 10 people,we'd order like 18 dishes it's
(09:03):
so much fun.
And like we'd order like it'sgreat, it's so much fun, and
like we'd split the food.
And if you know that going init's, that's fine, but when you
it's a bonding and communalexperience.
I'm talking specifically aboutwhen somebody is like hey, I got
an idea.
Matt (09:18):
No, you don't yeah, this is the person who, like, we'll
all do secret santa and thenwe'll show up to secret santa
and they're the one who's likewell, why don't we just make
into a white elephant at thelast second?
Eric (09:27):
because that's not what we did.
We've all seen that episode ofthe office.
That's not how this works,thought into this.
Matt (09:33):
I have commit, my course has been laid.
I I took this so firmly out ofmy brain I didn't have to think
about it anymore because I waslike, yep, I know where we're
going, I know what I'm going tobe eating.
Eric (09:47):
I know what this person is interested in.
I think they'll appreciate thisor think this is funny or
whatever angle you went with forSecret Santa and then.
And then I've never been in awork meeting where somebody has
(10:07):
suggested it, probably becauseI've lived in a post-White
Elephant episode office erawhere people went oh, no one
should ever do that.
Matt (10:10):
Yeah, we've talked about this on the show before I've
experienced.
We've also talked about it onthe neat cast.
Yes, we have.
Eric (10:16):
We're going coast to coast with this message we can't
bring white, else, yes, fuckwhite elephants, except the
animal and and and and fuck,spontaneously, deciding that
everyone's going to split theirfood at the last second.
Matt (10:29):
When you go to a restaurant with a group of
friends in a lift, god damn, youwant to start the show.
Eric (10:35):
Yeah, all right, let's do it.
Well, hello everybody andwelcome to you.
(10:56):
Didn't ask for this, thepodcast that answers life's
least pressing questions.
My name is matthew shea.
My name is Eric Poach.
Eric Poach, tell me how you are.
I am well rested well hydrated.
Matt (11:10):
I had a little snack earlier and I'm talking to one
of my bestest friends.
I'm doing great.
Eric (11:16):
Oh my god, you had a snack and you are a snack.
Oh, my god, oh my god, why areyou so obsessed?
Mike (11:22):
with me.
Eric (11:24):
So that was a little bit of a lengthy cold open.
Matt (11:27):
Cold open had some meat on it.
Nothing wrong with that.
Eric (11:29):
Not at all.
But do you want to get rightinto questions and shit?
Matt (11:33):
Yes, my dude.
Eric (11:34):
Okay, so we actually do have three planned, because we
do have a voicemail from thethought line that's been sitting
here for a little bit.
Should we start with thatbefore we get to some other
questions?
And then I believe we're goingto end today with the first Eric
edition of Pop Quiz.
Matt (11:54):
Yeah, it's going to be a great time.
Eric (11:56):
I'm looking forward to that.
Anyway, let's see what's on thethought line.
Hey, it's Mike Perry.
Mike (12:02):
Jr, a longtime listener, one-time guest and often quoted
on your show.
I got a bone to pick with youboth right now.
Sure, femur or tibia Damn, Ilove you both.
Call me if you need like arocking theme song.
I know your theme song is good,but you know, call me if you
(12:24):
need a rocking one.
Just you know I have I haveideas.
Eric (12:28):
Okay, love you, hemer, to be a mike, listen, let's, let's
all come clean with the audiencehere for a second here.
Yeah, this is not the firsttime mike perry has brought up a
theme song produced by him forthis show and I do.
Matt (12:48):
I love the master stroke of including that in the thought
line.
Knowing that we would be, we'rehonor bound to include this now
recently real game of thronesmove mike perry jr.
Eric (13:02):
A real Game of Thrones move Littlefinger.
So listen, here's the situation.
What's wrong with our themesong?
Matt (13:11):
Yeah, what's wrong with our theme song?
Eric (13:13):
I mean just because Poach picked it out of like a
royalty-free music site on thefirst day that we recorded this
podcast and we haven't changedit in four years.
Yeah, what's wrong with it?
What's wrong with it?
Matt (13:26):
I don't think anything.
Do you think anything's wrongwith it, eric?
Eric (13:27):
I'll tell you what ain't wrong with it paying royalties
paying royalties, paying some,paying some punk question
submitter to write us aquote-unquote rocking theme song
you dare suggest we.
We support artists, boy, howdare you?
Matt (13:50):
we'll consider it yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry,
that was, that was mr pottertalking.
You know he comes out every nowand then.
Every now and then he justerupts out of my face shaking a
cane and, you know, not long ago, damning the proletariat what?
Eric (14:05):
not long ago, I watched rear wind speaking of jimmy
stewart.
I watched rear window for thefirst time.
What excellent, excellentimpression that you dropped
immediately yeah, yeah.
Matt (14:20):
Well, there's only one part of it that matters.
Eric (14:24):
That's why, jimmy stewart's my favorite impression
you don't have to say words Ihave to say this I'm a big fan
of hitchcock, of course, butit's just fine, it's fine, it's
just fine, it's just fine heyit's allowed to be, it's okay I
know that in the 90s there wasafter, sadly, he was paralyzed.
(14:46):
Uh, they made a differentversion of rear window starring
christopher reeve, and I wouldlike to see that I would like to
check that out, because it wasone of his last like true acting
roles after he was paralyzedand I think that's pretty cool
that he was paralyzed, eric, wowno, mike perry jr wants to
(15:07):
write us a theme song and you'reover here thinking it's cool
that christopher reeves got verybadly hurt on a horse no dog,
that's not what I said.
I think it's cool that hollywoodproduced a remake of Rear
Window, which was fine, soChristopher Reeve could play a
(15:28):
role that he actually could play.
Matt (15:32):
Okay, you fucking asshole.
Careful, matt Shea, you're onthick ice, oh yeah.
Eric (15:38):
I'm on thick ice.
I'm on thick ice.
Eric, let me introduce you to ahorse.
Matt (15:45):
I was weirdly threatening to paralyze you, I don't know
why it was such a weird out ofleft hand thing that I
completely forgot that we werejust talking about a man having
a horse accident.
So like I didn't even I triedto weasel it in.
Mike (16:05):
Is this a new character.
Eric (16:10):
And even I didn't understand how it would work,
because I would be, I paid offthe horse to throw you.
I guess at a very specificangle.
I gave him a metric fuckton ofsugar cubes and said like listen
, I'll keep these coming.
Matt (16:27):
Oh my god, throw him, but make it non-lethal have you rode
a horse?
Yeah, I love riding horses,have you really?
Yeah, I went back when I workedfor the renaissance fair.
I learned how to ride uh, thejostling sure, yeah sure, that
makes sense it was a lot of funthey're, they're wonderful,
beautiful they are.
Eric (16:44):
I haven't ridden a horse in many a year, but I have
terrified animals.
Matt (16:48):
Yeah, they are fun scared at all times um femur or tibia
right right, of course, that'swhat.
Eric (16:55):
That's why we're actually here.
Matt (16:56):
Femur or tibia, hold on which one's the tibia you're
about to.
You're about I knowur.
One's on top, one's on the body.
I think the tibia is where thethigh is.
The femur is where your shinsis.
Well, the femur is the biggestbone in the body.
Right Tibia is where your shinslive.
(17:17):
Femur is where your, that'syour thigh bone.
Eric (17:23):
Oh, I see so it's the thin part of the of the big leg
there the thin part of the bigleg, there being the medical
nomenclature yes so the thin?
Well, because it splits right,it's got like two little bones,
but the big bone is actually thetibia and the femur is the thin
I thought the femur was thebiggest bone in the body, oh,
(17:43):
okay, so, yeah.
Matt (17:44):
So, of your shin, your shin bones, the thinner one is
the fibula, the bigger one isthe tibia, and then the your
thigh bone.
On the next rung up on the legis your femur.
Eric (17:57):
Yeah, okay, I was right.
In humans, the femur is thelargest and thickest bone in the
body.
It's a strong boy.
It can be used as a weapon.
If separated from the body,it's in.
Yeah, I say femur you say femur.
Matt (18:11):
Hold on, let me just reopen this tab, because I
already forgot which one it is.
You say femur.
Eric (18:16):
I think I'm a femur.
I'll open the tibia bone pageyeah oh, I see.
So femurs top, top of the legyeah tibia's bottom.
They're both the big bones,yeah, but the femur is obviously
the bigger one.
Matt (18:34):
Um, I think femur, yeah, tibia has been good to me, has
it?
No, it has, because I used to.
I'll refresh your memory.
I used to drive a karate van.
Eric (18:49):
I remember.
Matt (18:50):
I don't need refreshing To the karate school Mm-hmm To the
karate daycare, where I taughtkarate at a daycare.
Yeah, I mean you need both ofthem.
Mike (19:00):
Like there's no, you don't have an option.
Matt (19:03):
Like I can't, just oops, all you know tibia but I will
say, in terms of dealing damageto an opponent, the tibia is
going to come into play a lotmore.
No, femur.
No, I mean in terms of, like,the part of your body that's
going to be coming in contactwith someone when you kick.
Eric (19:24):
Oh, I see, In that respect you're correct.
Yeah, yeah.
Matt (19:27):
No, the femur is where the power comes from.
That's where, yeah, that's.
Eric (19:31):
If we're in a bone fight and I've got a femur and you've
got a tibia, you have a.
Matt (19:37):
in that case you have a broadsword and I have like a
rapier, exactly.
Eric (19:41):
That's exactly the point I was going to make.
Yeah, so you need thesupplemental bone that comes
with the tibia so you can go,because that's going to be your
dagger, right.
Matt (19:54):
It's going to be your dagger right.
Eric (19:55):
It's going to be the yes, whereas I'm just hacking away at
you with my big, thick boy boneyeah, the question is femur or
tibia, not femur.
Matt (20:03):
Femur versus tibia, no it's not, I'm not, I'm not
saying that, oh no, no, I'm justI'm I'm making sure we're
answering mike's questionappropriately and addressing all
the points he brought up withequal measure his only point was
femur or tibia.
Eric (20:17):
That was his only.
Matt (20:18):
Yeah, his only point was femur or tibia.
You know what?
I'll say this in a.
In a survival situation likewhen we need to start making, to
use the parlance water choices,when we have to answer some big
questions, probably good eatingon that femur.
Mike (20:40):
That's what I'm saying.
That's going to be dark meat.
Eric (20:43):
Your choice meat.
Matt (20:44):
It's going to be some pretty tender.
It's going to have goodmarbling on that femur.
Eric (20:54):
Let's put ourselves in the dahmer party situation not to
be confused with the donnerparty.
Matt (21:00):
We are talking about the dahmer party, who lured many
other mormons away from theoregon trail back to their
apartment let's talk for asecond about the donner party.
Mike (21:10):
Yeah, the donner party, the donner dinner the donner
party.
Matt (21:14):
Okay, which if you haven't , I can't possibly recommend the
book the indifferent starsabove enough you have
recommended that book to me somany times because I learned
much of what I know about thedonner party from you having
read this book it is a fantasticbook.
Eric (21:33):
I recommend everybody read it and it will forever change
your opinion about the donnerparty, which have been unfairly
characterized.
Matt (21:43):
I think is like crazy cannibals in like american
folklore they were perfectlysane cannibals yes, yeah yeah,
no, I mean that's that 100%accurate they had to make
choices TM.
Eric (21:56):
They were in the most desperate of situations.
Matt (22:01):
Bro.
I've seen Deep Blue Sea.
I've heard Samuel L Jackson'smonologue.
I know that when push comes toshove, sometimes you got to eat
somebody.
Eric (22:12):
And if push comes to shove and we are in a donner party
situation and you and I arethere with the carcass of our
one of our fallen comrades, Ithink we can agree that when
we're divvying things up when itcomes to the leg, we're
divvying chris up.
Yeah, we're gonna be.
(22:33):
I think you know, when you talkabout the femur, you're talking
about the hips, you're talkingabout the butt, you're talking
about all these things.
Good me, what I'm saying isit's like saying wing versus leg
.
Matt (22:49):
Wing versus thigh Wing.
Eric (22:52):
Actually, I agree with you Wing versus thigh, it's like,
and if it's you and me, I thinkwe're both going like.
Well, I already had a wing, soI need, I need, I need the thigh
, look.
Matt (23:04):
Okay, look I.
By taking the wing, I havefulfilled my part of the social
contract.
I took a little less so I couldtake more later connor, god
rest soul, would want me to havethe femur.
Oh yeah, Craig would absolutelywant us to have this femur.
It's good eating.
Eric (23:23):
His shin meat.
Why did we change the deadcomrade?
What, who, who?
I said Connor, you said Craig.
Matt (23:31):
Oh sorry.
Eric (23:32):
Who's Craig and when did he die?
We're talking about good oldcampbell we were supposed to
answer this question in like aminute, yeah, and we didn't, but
now I think we where we'velanded, is that fucking uh, you
know uh I think, if you look atthe transcript, we've said femur
far more than we've said tibiawe if that ain't it like what is
(23:54):
?
Matt (23:56):
So, basically folks, if you're in a survival situation,
prioritize eating the femur.
It will provide the mostprotein to fat.
Your body needs fat radio ratiofor you to survive.
I base this on watching a lotof alone.
You watch alone.
Fucking love alone, yeah, Doyou watch a lot?
No, I feel like Fucking loveAlone.
Yeah, do you watch Alone?
No I feel like you would loveAlone.
(24:17):
Matt, you would love Alone.
Eric (24:20):
Perhaps I would, but I think we've answered the
question.
It's going to be femur for us,Mike Puri.
Thank you so much for thequestion and for calling in
Again in different stars aboveby Daniel James Brown.
Matt (24:33):
I recommend it highly and shout out to us because we did
not say the words, hardly evenknow her once during that entire
bit.
Fucking like that's progressfor your hosts.
Eric (24:50):
Everybody, that's baby stop what you're doing and give
us a round of applause.
Matt (24:54):
Snaps, snaps, snaps.
You got to applaud it.
Where you see it, that's growth.
Eric (24:59):
That's growth, and God bless us everyone.
Matt (25:04):
That brings us to our next question.
This is from Tim on the AgainstAll Oddities podcast.
Tim asks what is the Lego setthat absolutely needs to exist
but never will?
Thank you, Tim.
Eric (25:19):
Thank you, tim, as always.
Now I recently have gotten afew of the series where it
started with a fan, like aperson used it.
I think it's called eitherIdeas or Creator or something
like that.
I've done two of them.
I've done the Lego DeLorean,which you have but haven't done,
(25:39):
and I've done a typewriterwhich functions.
Matt (25:43):
There's like the Atari console that you can play.
Eric (25:46):
I would love to do that.
Matt (25:47):
Alyssa really wants the Polaroid camera, one that you
can take.
Eric (25:50):
Oh, I'll tell you which one I desperately want for this
house and we'll get once webuild some shelves for it.
Yeah, I want that titanic,fucking legos yeah, you want the
conversation piece I want toshelve out the fucking 800 bucks
, or whatever it is, for thatgoddamn boat, and I want it.
(26:11):
I want to build it, I want tospend months building it, I want
it to be mounted and I wanteveryone to come and appreciate
me a I will come and appreciateyou, god damn right b.
Matt (26:21):
I will not insult you by offering to help you build it.
Um, no, yeah, that's, it's.
Eric (26:26):
Lego is a very personal I know lego is a one per is a
solitary activity unless you'redoing it with your child it's a
solitary activity.
Matt (26:34):
I get yeah, yeah, I get stressed when people want to
help me, like I was like no, thebeauty of this is I can go as
fast or as slow as I want and Idon't have to think about anyone
but me fucking up and we weretalking about this not too long
ago.
Eric (26:48):
Like I actually, in doing this, the quote-unquote adult
lego set uh, not that any anyLego set is not adult.
I'll just go on the recordsaying that Doing Lego as an
adult I find to be actuallyquite meditative, yeah, very
like.
Oh, I'm going to sit down andjust fucking look.
(27:10):
There's no stakes, no stakes.
Matt (27:13):
I'm just chilling and constructing and making sure
everything's right and it's agood time now, what I am down
for is, like I don't I have noproblem with like some parallel
crafting or activities going onaround me.
If you want to, if you want tochill over there, we listen to
music and chat while I ambuilding this yeah, but if you
(27:35):
come over and say can I do thisstep, I'm gonna be like no, fuck
off no, because, then, becausethen, if something does go wrong
, I have someone to blame itmight not even be your fault,
but now you're, you're on thetable, and I don't want that for
us I don't want that for you,because I know my wrath will
come, because I can't blamemyself.
(27:56):
God forbid no, oh man, I, uh,I'm just imagining you having
spent hours, days building thistitanic and and then, like
someone helped you and thensomething went wrong.
It's just like it caused, likea seaward, like just as you're
finishing the build, it snapsright where the Titanic snapped,
right where it broke.
Eric (28:18):
I think that's how it's designed.
I think it's designed for youto break it in two, speaking of
my burdens.
Yeah, slats.
I have owned for probably closeto a decade now Lego Helms Deep
(28:39):
from Lord of the Rings stillhave not built it and you still
haven't built that Lego DeLorean, which you can make into any
one of the three versions thatyou choose.
It's a good set.
I recommend you do it.
It's a good set, I built it.
And, of course, back to theFuture 2.
But course, uh, back to thefuture too, but with the back to
the future one out of timelicense plate because I thought
(28:59):
it was more appropriate fordisplay purposes.
Matt (29:01):
It is uh, objectively, uh.
So now let's talk about thesets that lego's not brave
enough to make jeffrey dahmer'sapartment.
Eric (29:13):
Think of the femurs and tibias.
Matt (29:14):
You can screw about, bro.
Um here's a set for you mattthe motorcade, the motorcade,
the motorcade oh, the motorcadeI see how the dawning of
realization oh, the motorcadeyeah, yeah, and you can build it
(29:36):
.
Eric (29:36):
All kinds of different ways it shows you on the back.
Matt (29:43):
It shows you the back how you know they always had, like
the here's, these alternateconfigurations you could do yeah
yeah, and there's like here'sone where lee harvey oswald
killed him.
Eric (29:52):
so you can, can cut.
I was going to say you can cut,you can get the grassy knoll
adaptation set.
Matt (29:58):
Yeah.
You can get the book depositorythis this shit sells itself,
you, man with the umbrella.
Eric (30:04):
You get a little Abraham Zapruder with his camera that
you can put in the corner, youknow just so.
Matt (30:11):
So many, so many configurations, so many
questions.
Eric (30:15):
Now, eric, you've got to know you are teetering on the
edge of a tangent here from me.
Matt (30:26):
We're going to have to have an offshoot of Oops All
Tangents called Oops All JFKTangents.
Eric (30:32):
It will be a whole series of just me talking.
Matt (30:37):
So the motorcade, that's one lego.
Eric (30:38):
Yeah, I think the dealy plaza set is good bro.
Matt (30:42):
Uh, this absolute this is my actual, for real, fun answer
absolutely needs to be a legoset.
They need to commit to it, makethe whole thing.
That's why it never will be thelarge hadron collider oh god,
eric, yes, okay yes, sure toscale and it works to.
Eric (31:01):
Oh, and it works great.
Look, it comes with a littlelittle lego higgs boson.
I can put it right underneathmy chernobyl lego set, chernobyl
absolutely, I would buy thefuck it today.
Matt (31:14):
It would be one of the light up ones with like the oh
my god, yeah no, no spousalintervention would be able to
stop me from getting thechernobyl set comes with a,
comes with a little jared harris.
What a great miniseries, one ofthe best of all time, jared
harris is truly one of myfavorite actors of all time.
Eric (31:34):
Yes, stellan skarsgard as well yes, of course, so fucking
good.
Every everyone talked about him.
What about you remember, eric?
At the end of every where'swaldo, there's the land of
waldos, page it's just like not,oops, all waldos oops all
waldos.
Matt (31:48):
Yeah, I want the oops all waldos yeah, oh, every variation
of waldodo's little minifig,and there's no reason this can't
exist.
Eric (31:59):
No reason it can't.
Now you know, eric, that thesedays, with the quote unquote,
adult Lego sets that you can do,like Starry Night, like.
Matt (32:07):
Lando's Starry Night.
I love the bonsai tree, one I'mobsessed with.
I want that very badly.
Eric (32:12):
The bonsai tree one.
There's the wave I believe theyhave as well.
I want a jackson pollock okay,okay, fuck.
Matt (32:23):
Now we're fucking cooking with gas, son and and not not
just jackson pollock, I alsowant a guernica.
My man's got Guernica dreams ona Lego budget.
Eric (32:38):
Don't say that that sounds like a war crime.
Matt (32:42):
That is probably.
It probably is A JacksonPollock would be incredible.
Eric (32:48):
I'd love a Waiting for Godot.
Matt (32:51):
Lego set A scene from Eraserhead a godot uh.
Eric (32:54):
lego set a scene from a racer head a waiting for good,
awaiting for godot lego setwould be fucking incredible.
You build a tree, you build atree and just the two minifigs.
Incredible, oh man, oh man, sogood.
And then you can build the acttwo version and add three leaves
(33:15):
.
Matt (33:16):
What's your?
This joke will only be funny tolike Ten people are chuckling.
Eric (33:29):
Ten people went Someone was like reference.
Matt (33:34):
Ten people breathed heavily out their nose they did
that thing that a dog does whenit's asleep and it's chasing
rabbits.
That's how deep into thesubconscious our comedy
penetrates absolutely any.
Any do you want to call a shotfor?
Mike (33:58):
like, oh, like.
What do we think they are?
Matt (34:00):
legitimately gonna do like , what will they do?
Eric (34:05):
next in what they will do next.
I mean, they've gotten they.
They seem to be going down toyour point about like the camera
and the typewriter and andother things.
They seem to be going down toyour point about like the camera
and the typewriter and otherthings.
They seem to be going down this, this route of things that
actually can work which is dope?
Matt (34:23):
How long till we get a gun ?
Trying to think of something inthat vein.
I'm thinking because they'vealready got like this might
already be a Lego set.
I'm not going to Google it, I'mjust going to say it Christ the
Redeemer.
Eric (34:37):
You know, eric, that would actually be would not surprise
me it'd be a pretty dope legoset it'd be a dope ass.
Matt (34:43):
That would be the set.
Are you kidding me?
If I had a little christ theredeemer made out of legos, I
would put that everywhere in myhouse and it would be awesome
I'm trying to.
Eric (34:54):
Okay, so it's, I was right , the like typewriter and stuff.
It's from the ideas collection,which is to say, somebody has
made this and it got popular.
You can upvote things on theIdea community or whatever, and
then eventually, if it getsenough Lego, we'll make it like
a set.
That's how the typewriter camearound.
Some Lego superfan just made aLego typewriter and Lego was
(35:16):
like oh yeah, we can work withthis.
We can take your plans andtweak them a bit and put them
out commercially matt and sothat has legs.
For that is what I'm yeah,that's got legs like I think,
like I am not.
I'm not enough of an engineerbrain to take like just a bunch
of legos and make something likea working guitar no, like I
(35:39):
can't, I need a script I.
Matt (35:41):
Well, I was gonna say you might be able to do something, I
I I, I might, but my brainloves the break of like oh, I
know exactly what the end goalis, I know what this is going to
become and I think that's thetherapeutic part of the, of the
instruct, of the doing the legosnow is like oh, I just I'm
(36:02):
following this picture.
Eric (36:03):
It's like ikea, but without the rage yeah, yeah, and
, and, and, and.
To that end and the physicallabor as much as I.
Matt (36:12):
This is like it's wild just seeing my boundaries like
solidified in and like onpackaging.
Because, like when I look atthe back of the box I mentioned
this earlier when they show like, oh, you can put it like this,
and they show like, look at allthese crazy different ways you
could build this.
I have never in my life doneone of those like the alternates
(36:35):
.
I've never gone off recipe no,absolutely not.
Eric (36:39):
It terrifies.
What if somebody did?
What if I've lost a piece?
What if somebody did the?
The scene from silence of thelambs where hannibal escapes oh,
yeah, yeah from his temporarycell you've got like the little
lego man that's hannibal.
Matt (36:57):
You've got like the security guard's face helmet
that you put on.
Eric (37:00):
Yeah, you got that you've got the, the angel that he makes
out of the guy's fucking organs.
Yeah, that's what we need.
Matt (37:10):
Here I did.
I did think of one for theideas line, for the actual
functional you'll have to makethis go on the Lego e-meter.
E-meter that's the little boxthat Scientologists use to
measure how faithful you are.
Eric (37:25):
Oh yes, I knew it rang a bell, I just couldn't figure out
which To measure your theirlittle lie detector.
Yes, yes, well done.
Thank you, well done you.
Matt (37:37):
We started at the JFK assassination and came right
back to Scientology.
It's like we didn't move at all.
Eric (37:44):
You heard it here first, folks.
Eric is a Scientologist.
I've seen Battlefield Earth, soI think we've thrown out a
couple of good suggestions and abunch of mediocre ones.
Matt (37:55):
Yeah yeah, yeah, we've thrown out some real Christ the
Redeemer's in there.
No one can judge this answernow.
Eric (38:01):
It's very good I saw a tiktok where somebody like snuck
to the head of the christredeemer, like okay, like he
snuck through the, the, theinner workings of christ, and
came out the the head hatch andwas on top of it and it is, in
fact, just like a fuckingthere's like a little, where
fact just like a fucking there'slike a little, where it's just
(38:21):
like a maintenance hatch that hecan just get out.
I didn't know it.
Huh, have you ever been to theStatue of Liberty, mm-mm.
Matt (38:30):
Seen it, admired it, but from a distance From afar.
Eric (38:34):
You haven't been on Liberty Island.
No, as somebody who has, it'snot super worth it, unless you
get there, very like you got toget there right at the beginning
of the day because that youcan't go up.
It after like 10 am, oh my god,because it gets too hot because
it's made of fucking copper youare baked, you will be baked
(38:58):
alive.
Like you can't go up it, hell,yeah, uh.
So you can only go up it forlike the first two hours of the
day.
So I didn't get to go up it andI think if you can't go up it
it's not then like just go tothe docks, like what are we
doing here?
Matt (39:11):
that's my beef.
I'm like, if you're gonna giveme this big statue, you gotta
give me a set of stairs so I canclimb and get to the top and
and like like get a picture ofme picking christ, the
redeemer's nose yeah, fuckingfrance.
Eric (39:25):
Yeah, that we treasure and put on all our iconography.
Oh anyway, thanks, thanks andthank you for the question tim
yeah, thank you, tim.
Um, so our last question forthe day here, poach, is uh, in
the office, where's the bestplace to sleep?
Matt (39:42):
And that one comes from Zach Deuce and he gave it to us
in our Discord, our PatreonDiscord that you can subscribe
to for one and or four dollars amonth and both of which give
you access to our Discord, andif you subscribe to the four
dollar tier, you get access to amonthly bonus episode and 20%
off all future merchandise.
Eric (40:02):
The very same.
Nice, very nice.
Yes, thank you, zach, and alsojust thanks in general for
popping off the chat and thediscord all the time.
You're an angel, tim, you too.
Mike (40:13):
Yeah.
Eric (40:15):
Um, and everybody else.
It's been a fun time in thediscord.
Anyway, best place to sleep.
Matt (40:30):
Best place to sleep in the discord anyway, best place to
sleep, best place to sleep inthe office, in the office.
I have so much directexperience with this.
Oh yeah, you're a slacker.
Uh yeah, uh, no, I I am.
Well, I am a slacker.
I am also always surrounded byother slackers, um, so I've seen
many.
There have been many uh goodmethods I've seen employed
throughout my time in thecorporate environment.
Eric (40:45):
Sure, you want to give me one.
Matt (40:47):
Yeah, two of my favorites follow a theme, and that theme
is the best place to sleep,right out in plain sight.
Eric (40:58):
So here's how you do it.
I was going to say speak morein the and when I say in plain
sight, here's how you do it.
Matt (41:01):
I was gonna say speak more in the person, or, and when I
say in plain sight, I mean likeright under that, like make it
so overt, it's covert.
Uh, an associate of mine, uh,we would work in the lab and
this man had uh three new kidsat home.
They were babies and they weretriplets.
They murdered sleep, sure.
(41:21):
So his technique he would be ata microscope, he would wear a
baseball cap.
He wore a baseball cap every dayhe's in baseball cap, he's got
his face mask, like like we'rein a clean, a class 10 000 clean
room, so like we're done, likelike the coats, the gloves, the
bonnets and he's got his big old.
So what he would do is he wouldlike get his microscope set up
(41:45):
these are like big, heavy duty,fucking microscopes and he would
rest his.
He would look down them andrest his forehead against the
fucking apparatus and balancehimself so that he could be
asleep, and it just looks likehe's staring very intently down
a microscope the entire time.
Okay, and for how long is hedoing?
He would take micro naps oflike five, ten minutes.
(42:08):
We would uh, we and we would,we would elbow him if someone
was coming by.
Oh, I see you, gotta, it'simportant to have a lookout.
That brings me to uh examplenumber two.
Guy was working in, uh, theshipping receiving warehouse.
He built a cot and like alittle like sleeping chamber
(42:30):
into the shelves of thewarehouse.
Like had like legitimatelybuilt up a little, a little
fucking oasis, like in somecrates and shit it was.
Eric (42:40):
You had to know about it to know it was there yes, but
like this is in any kind ofwarehouse, I feel like this is
pretty common and popular yeahcreate like and it works and
accessible by forklift only.
Matt (42:54):
Like like hidden room the problem is is that, like a lot
of people have access toforklifts, sure, a lot, of, a
lot of forklift certificationsfloating around.
So he got found out and he gotfired well, sure, now I haven't.
Eric (43:10):
Um, I haven't worked in a warehouse and I haven't worked
in.
Even though I work in corporateamerica, I work remotely, but
when I worked in an office, itwas a theater and I was also a
member of a theater company, asI've already mentioned on this
very episode.
In a theater, oh, there's allkinds of places to sleep, uh, oh
(43:31):
my, oh, there's so many placesto sleep, but those are not like
, like one of my favorites atsingle carrot, the place, the
place, if you like.
If it was a 10 out of 12 techrehearsal and you needed a place
to sleep during the dinnerbreak, costume storage is where
you want to go.
You go in between those fucking, uh, you know, clothing racks.
(43:52):
It's, it's acoustically, uh,set up for napping.
You know, it's just quiet andnice, muffled, a little warm, a
little toasty.
It's a great time, but notevery workplace has costume
storage.
So what you need to do, thoughbecause I do think this is
almost universally true there'sgot to be some area that's not
(44:15):
very frequented that you canalso like a lounge or something,
yeah, or, if you have access to, like a maintenance room yeah,
yeah, if you see you.
Matt (44:28):
The key here is you need a group of folks that you are
real fucking cool with.
Yeah, these will be the peoplewho, like, will reveal the nap
spots to you.
Yes, and they will also playlookout for you and cover your
ass.
Should like ring the bell?
Should the man be coming?
Should the man come to town asJohnny Cash?
(44:49):
Yes, I thought it was when hecomes around.
It is.
Eric (44:54):
Okay, it is Okay.
Yeah, let's move on.
Matt (44:57):
Okay, yep, just asking you to put some respect on jonathan
cash's name it's not hisfucking name.
Eric (45:04):
Why don't we start the respect there?
Matt (45:06):
good places to sleep.
Eric (45:08):
Uh, up my ass matt, oh yeah oh yeah, I bet it is
cavernous in there yeah so Iwould be able to, once I get all
the goddamn gas out of the way,fucking temperate my dude.
Yeah, I bet it is nice andtoasty up in there.
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to burrowmyself up in that butt.
I fucking hope you do.
Yeah, yeah, watch me, and youknow what I'm coming in foot.
(45:32):
First bitch Was that necessary.
Mike (45:35):
It wasn't I apologize, hey , you know what?
Matt (45:44):
Good on us for having a healthy conversation, getting it
out.
Good places to sleep I've neverseen someone get in trouble for
sleeping in their car.
Yeah, I mean that's alwaysthere it's got the sad factor it
is the saddest place to sleepat work.
Eric (45:57):
It should be the moment you realize you should get a new
job.
Yeah, you're telling me, but uh, um, I'm just saying, if you,
if you, if you're there, if youneed to go sleep or meditate or
escape to feel like you're goingto go home but you're not, yeah
(46:18):
, might be a warning sign oh,here's a good one, and this one
is not going to be everyone'scup of tea, but it does work, if
it works for you.
Matt (46:28):
The cafeteria during lunch ?
Oh sure, because here's thething, tell me, this goes back
to that idea of so overt it'scovert, are you sure?
When we go into the lunchroom,there's a social contract in
play.
The social contract is hey,game off.
Like you know what I mean.
Everyone, like I have I havethis.
Ken's job is lunch like thisjob is.
Eric (46:51):
All he does is lunch all he do is lunch.
Matt (46:54):
So, like I could be a fucking ceo, I don't care, I'm
like.
I see someone like no, not myno, not nope lunch.
I eat lunch now and everyone inthe cafeteria is thinking that
no one is going to approach you,especially because they're all
going to be thinking man, thatguy's sleeping at lunch.
I'm not going to make his dayworse.
(47:16):
If you can handle the noise,it's like you just think of the
sound of the cafeteria is one ofthose like white noise machines
you get for your bedroom.
You're golden.
Yeah, put your little, just putyour head, just nestle your
head down like, like, use anelementary school.
Eric (47:32):
And I.
My lunch spot was always, whenI previously worked in an office
place was always a couch in inthe basement level.
Uh, again, this is theater.
You know there's receptionareas in the lobbies and whatnot
, but I am confident thatthere's a chair that there's
some place in most workplacesthat is far, far away from other
(47:56):
people.
Maybe it's one chair by theelevators or something just Just
naturally.
Matt (48:00):
liminal spaces within yes.
Eric (48:03):
And if I was in an environment that that was the
only option, that is where Iwould eat lunch.
I would eat lunch as far awayfrom anyone who might interrupt
it as possible.
Matt (48:14):
That's why I hate lunch meetings.
They're the fucking devil.
I'm like no, when I this Ken'sjob is lunch.
No, this can it is lunch.
No, this can it doesn't thiscan lunch.
Eric (48:24):
We're just having a meeting and you're trying to to
take away my, my paid lunch, andI won't have it.
No, sir, no sir, no, ma'am.
So those are some places youcan sleep.
Those are some places you cansleep.
And, uh, zach, thank you forthe question thank you so much,
zach, hey matt tell me pop quiz.
(48:47):
I am so excited, eric.
I am so excited for a segment Ididn't have to contribute to in
any way this is great.
Matt (48:54):
All you have to do, matt is wonderful.
So while back, matt, uh, out offucking nowhere, hit me with a
pop quiz about birds yes, Icalled it a bird or bluff, I
believe it was 25 birds.
Eric (49:07):
I believe it was 25 birds, some I made up, some were real
and matt.
Matt (49:11):
We now find ourselves in the same situation.
I have a pop quiz for you, butit's not going to be about birds
, matt, I am going name.
You got a fun subtitle for me.
Oh, hold on, hold on.
Eric (49:24):
Because I gave you a bird of bluff.
I just think I deserve a funtitle.
I know.
Matt (49:28):
I know I have it, I just got to dial in on it, hold on.
Eric (49:35):
Okay, the answer was no.
I think no the answer is no,but it was here.
You know what Momentum killer,what just happened.
Matt (49:41):
Here's what I'm going to do I'm going to explain to you
what I brought to you, and thenwe can think of a cute one.
Let's do it Pop quiz.
So, matt, you brought me birds.
Yes, I brought you Dungeons andDragons spells.
Okay.
Eric (49:55):
Yeah, I don't know a lot about that.
Matt (50:04):
I have 25 names of spells and you're just gonna tell me
which ones are real spells, andwhich ones are five?
Eric (50:07):
oh no, there's 25.
I said 25, all right, I wasgonna say I think this will be
quick I was gonna say we callthis wizard or whiff, puff or
pass oh, both good.
Matt (50:17):
So uh, spell or spell or spill, spell, spell or spill,
sizzle or fizzle, okay, uh, well, when a spell fizzles, that
means it doesn't go up, sure, um, and and just to give you the
only background that I'm goingto give you is just know that in
(50:38):
dungeons and dragons there's alot of fucking spells and they
can do so many different thingsI know a little bit from from
the world, ending to the oddlyand uncomfortably specific yes,
yes, roll for sandwich hasintroduced me to this mechanic,
so I know something, okay, okayso, uh, what do we?
(50:59):
what do we land on?
We would say spell, spell orspill.
Sure, I like this.
So spell, obviously, if it'sreal spill, if it's not first
spell, yep, locate object spell,that is a spell all right, I
thought so, I thought so and Isaid so bad touch Bad touch
(51:23):
Spell.
Not a spell.
Damn Chill touch Spell.
That is a spell.
Also, I just realized I shouldprobably be marking how many of
these you get, correct?
I?
Eric (51:34):
am two for three.
Okay, at this juncture.
Matt (51:39):
Okay, so you're two for three.
Deplorable word.
Eric (51:45):
Hmm, deplorable word Spill .
Matt (51:52):
That is in fact not a spell.
That was the spell cast byJadis, the White Witch, on her
home planet of Karn In theprequel to the Lion, the Witch
and the Wardrobe.
It turned everyone on herplanet to stone.
Oh, a real Medusa Evard's blacktentacles.
Eric (52:13):
Bringing in people's names now.
Matt (52:15):
That is also I'll say that a convention.
Of many D&D spells.
You'll have name of wizards,something, something, Sure, sure
, sure, sure, sure.
It's a spell.
It is a spell.
It's one of my favorite spells.
It's also, as a DM, one of themost infuriating spells, because
it is the.
I'm just going to turn thefight off now.
(52:36):
Ha ha ha, Stab, stab, stab.
Eric (52:49):
Because it summons a bunch of tentacles out of the ground
to restrain everyone in acertain area, and once they're
restrained, it's just openseason, baby.
Oh sure, yeah, got to betemporal shunt, temporal shunt
spell.
That is a spell, so I've onlymissed one, I think yeah, yeah,
you only got bad touch wrong sofar.
Yeah, Okay, so so far stillonly missing one.
Matt (53:03):
Next up, we have find keys .
Eric (53:06):
Find keys, I'm going to say spill, that is in fact made
up.
Yeah, baby, because my logicthere was if locate object is
real, why do we need a separateone for find keys?
Matt (53:21):
Speaking of.
Next up, we have Mordenkainen'sprivate sanctum spill.
That is a spell.
Mike (53:29):
Damn.
Matt (53:30):
Next up we have Mordenkainen's magnificent
mansion spill Also a spell, Damn.
Eric (53:37):
Now I'm just guessing, your, your strategy.
Matt (53:40):
Next up we have Lehman's tiny hut spill.
It is a spell damn it three ina row fugazi's fatal pit spill
that is made up.
Fugazi is a post-punk band whovery uh, famously does not allow
(54:04):
moshing at their shows.
I I've heard you say uh fugazibefore, so I thought that was
made up, but I was like oh, hecould have been just referencing
a dnd thing fugazi a is one ofthe greatest bands ever and but
b is just the most magicalsounding band name.
It sounds like wizard shit.
(54:25):
Next up, we have Marlowe'sUnseeing Eye.
Eric (54:34):
I'm just picturing Christopher Marlowe and that is
making me think this is a spilland I'm going to say it's a
spill.
Matt (54:45):
Yes, it is a spill.
And you guessed the influenceas well Christopher Marlowe, who
was famously stabbed in the eye.
Eric (54:53):
Okay, I thought that was a poachism.
Matt (54:56):
I thought that was from the brain of poach.
Next spell Cloud of daggers.
Cloud of daggers is a spell,baby, that is 100% a spell.
We have power.
Eric (55:08):
Word kill If if it's real, it's a disappointment.
So I'm gonna say spill it isreal disappointment.
Matt (55:17):
There's a series of spell called the power words dumb
power, word kill dumb, and itliterally is you uttering in
like magical, demonic, whatever.
However you want to play it,you're.
You're literally looking atsomeone and just saying die
stupid and they and they, theyfucking die.
I hate it.
Uh, grab thar's hammer, spillthat spell a spell, spell real
(55:54):
it is a spell, uh.
It's one of my favorite spells.
You literally insult someone so, uh, so hard.
Oh, no, sorry, that's viciousmockery, uh, which you would
love.
It's a spell where you insultsomeone so hard they take
psychic damage from it uhtasha's hideous laughter causes
someone to laugh uncontrollably,thus, you know, incapacitating
them, okay okay, tasha next upin the in the tome we have kao
(56:19):
ken special beam cannon spill.
That is fake.
Two different concepts fromdragon ball z.
Of course there's the ko kenpowering up technique, and then
there's piccolo's special beamcannon thought so you made a ko
ken joke not long ago on theshow.
Eric (56:38):
God damn it okay transport via plants oh boy, oh boy, this
, this has acorns from bothtrees.
Mike (56:50):
Mm.
Eric (56:51):
Indeed, I'm going to say it's a spill.
Matt (56:56):
It is real, damn.
Yeah.
The naming conventions rangefrom badass to locate object.
Yes, but you are good at this.
Eric (57:06):
You are good at mixing the phraseology.
This is a compliment I'm saying, I take it as I'm laughing you
know the parlance, the kindestthing I could ever hear you know
the parlance, you know that,like some are very like, oh,
locate mockery, or locate object, and you've said find keys,
(57:28):
like that's in that same thing.
You also, you know, know thatyou can put a strange, you know,
medieval name with adjectiveand it will work here.
I thank you.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Matt (57:42):
Next up we have the.
The spell summon I Kosa hedron.
Eric (57:46):
Now this sort of implies that I know what an icosahedron
is.
Um, so I'm gonna say the nameof a demon, I'm gonna say spell.
Matt (57:57):
It is a spill.
Eric (57:58):
And icosahedron is a 20-sided geometric figure well,
I I assumed it was of the sidesof some sort, so I assumed it
was real.
For that reason, and the 20makes sense.
Matt (58:12):
Yeah.
Eric (58:14):
I see what you've done.
Matt (58:15):
Next up we have the spell Moon Prism Power.
Eric (58:21):
Real spell.
Matt (58:23):
Not real, that's from.
Eric (58:24):
Sailor Moon.
I'm really falling off.
Matt (58:26):
Sailor Moon's transformation phrase moon prism
power makeup.
Eric (58:32):
Ah, yes, for all the Sailor Moon I've watched in my
time.
Matt (58:36):
I was glad you specified you.
I don't know about you and youknow everyone who listens to
this show, who has excellent,good, good taste, but I I wasted
many an afternoon of mychildhood watching Sailor Moon
on to nights.
Eric (58:48):
Wasted, I think, being the key telling word there.
Well, I should have been doinghomework.
Matt (58:54):
Programmed illusion.
Programmed illusion Spill.
Eric (59:03):
It is real Damn.
I really started strong andended bad.
Hey, hey, how many I got left.
Matt (59:14):
Three, three, okay, I can still, I can still, you can turn
this around with a hat trick Ican.
Eric (59:18):
I can finish strong.
I don't think I will have agood score, but okay cragar's
boisterous boast Jesus Christ,it's real, it is fake.
Matt (59:34):
I hate you.
Eric (59:37):
Maximilian's earthen grasp .
Honestly, I thought you justmade that one up live Just now.
Look how good I am at this.
So I'm going to say fake, it'sreal, I do not enjoy you mad is
learning why so many peoplebecome wizards like.
Matt (59:57):
I'll make fun of me, will you?
Uh, last spell.
Eric (01:00:03):
Reckoning of vibration reckoning of vibration reckoning
of vibration real made it uphate you.
Matt (01:00:14):
Hey, according to the vibe , there's a reckoning of
vibration.
That needs to happen here.
What is the final score?
Eric (01:00:21):
the final score matthew, how many did I get right?
Matt (01:00:23):
let's let's see how many I'm gonna.
Eric (01:00:26):
I'm gonna guess I got 10, I'm gonna tell you.
Matt (01:00:27):
I'll tell you your'm going to tell you.
I'll tell you your score.
I'll tell you what level ofwizard you are now.
Eric (01:00:32):
Oh, okay, that's fun.
Thematic Matthew.
Matt (01:00:35):
Yes, sir, even though there are only 20 levels in D&D.
Actually, out of 25 levels,yeah, 21 to 25, we're going to
be like God tier.
You no longer have a stat block, you're just in the rule book
now.
You're just a legend.
Mike (01:00:51):
Yeah.
Matt (01:00:53):
Matthew, congratulations.
You are a level 12 wizard.
Level 12?
That's not bad.
No, not bad at all.
And in many editions where youstart unlocking the kooky shit
that starts breaking the game,I'm proud to be a level 12 or
wizard dog.
You should be, I think, man, Ifeel like you'd make such a good
(01:01:14):
wizard.
Eric (01:01:15):
You'd make such a good wizard I'm right it right
underneath 50 technically butyeah, yeah, buddy, you're,
you're, you are.
Matt (01:01:26):
You're technically a below average wizard, sure, but
you're still a fucking wizard,but this is my starting wizard
rank.
Eric (01:01:35):
Yeah, oh starting wizard rank at 12.
Matt (01:01:38):
Yeah, dog, I'm coming out the gate at 12.
Eric (01:01:41):
Coming out the fucking gate I'm coming out the wizard
mama as 12.
Matt (01:01:47):
In fucking Pathfinder.
You know, by by level 12 youcould true name a demon.
Do you have any idea how fuckedand nuts that is?
Eric (01:01:56):
I do because I can nice, thank you, you can summon
outsiders.
Matt (01:02:02):
You can summon fucking all kinds of eldritch shit to just
come fight for you you know whatI can summon the business, the
business.
Yeah, that was good.
Eric (01:02:11):
That was good, listen.
If you would like to submit aquestion for us to answer, you
can do that.
Goddamn, so many freaking ways.
You didn't ask for this.
At gmailcom.
You can send us an email.
You can call us on the thoughtline, leave a message, like Mike
Parikh Jr did at 410-929-5329.
(01:02:31):
You can reach us on the socialmedias at you Didn't Ask Pod,
that's the letter.
You Didn't Ask Pod.
Instagram, twitter, facebook,sort of TikTok, youtube, all the
others.
And, of course, you can supportthe show directly by joining
our Patreon, patreoncom slash.
You didn't ask for this.
(01:02:52):
Two tiers $1 a month gets youaccess to our Discord.
We're having a lot of fun inthe Discord, it's a good time.
And $4 gets you not only thatbut also 20% off our incoming
merch, which we are working on.
And, more importantly, it getsyou that bonus episode of you
(01:03:12):
daft every month in the form ofoops, all tangents, oops, all
tangents.
Again, that's patreoncom slash.
You didn't ask for this.
Join today.
We would really appreciate it.
It makes us feel all warm andfuzzy.
Yeah, baby and Eric, did I missanything with the business?
Matt (01:03:31):
You didn't miss a gosh dang thing.
Eric (01:03:37):
All right.
Well then, I think very, veryquick, very effective, let's get
out of this thing for all of ushere.
You didn't ask for this.
My name's Matt.
My name's Eric poach and listenyou didn't ask this.
Matt (01:03:47):
my name's matt shay my name's eric poach.
And listen, you didn't ask butone of my favorite uh tabletop
role-playing game systems is agame called dungeon crawl
classics.
They have my favorite magicsystem that I've ever used uh,
because every time a it's sodifficult, it is like the game
is fun because it is so likecomically brutal to you.
(01:04:09):
And that extends to the magicsystem, Like every time a wizard
levels up.
If you even had the correctrandom starting stats to be able
to become a wizard.
Every time you learn a newspell you have to roll to see if
you learn that spell.
To begin with you attempt tolearn it and then when you do
learn it, you have to roll.
Begin with you, you attempt tolearn it and then, when you do
(01:04:30):
learn it, you have to roll.
There's so many fucking tablesyou have to roll on and all of
them have like everything fromcool and amazing to downright
horrific shit that can happen toyou.
There's a table you have toroll on to see what happens
every time you cast the spell.
Don't get it twisted.
I'm not talking about, you know, if I learn magic missile, I
learn magic missile, but then Ialso have to roll on a table to
(01:04:51):
see what is going to happen as aconsequence every time right
that I cast magic missile andlike it can be stuff, like you
could cast magic that'sinteresting.
Eric (01:05:02):
No, you keep talking.
The listeners will go, but you.
Eric, let me ask you a question.
Ask away my friend.
You're going to a restaurantand with you are a group of
friends, Nice.
Matt (00:10):
Love this already.
Eric (00:11):
You're already going.
Matt (00:13):
Okay.
Eric (00:14):
And you're sitting down.
Let's say there's 10 people.
Matt (00:18):
Okay 10 people in the restaurant.
Eric (00:20):
No, no, no, like 10 in your group of you know, 10 in my
group.
Matt (00:23):
Okay, let's say six okay let's say six, are we sharing an
uber?
Eric (00:29):
whatever the fuck is gonna make this prompt continue.
Got okay, a group of friendsokay.
So a lift.
Got it okay, more more than afour or some okay yeah yeah, a
more than a decided group, agrouping.
Yes, yeah, yeah, you've endedup at this restaurant.
Mike (00:47):
Okay.
Eric (00:47):
You're looking at the menu and somebody and this is almost
guaranteed with a group With agroup, Somebody says, hey, what
if we just got a bunch of foodand shared?
I hate it.
Matt (01:03):
What is your response?
Nightmare Hate it Fucking, hateit fucking eric I knew you was
a real one to I, I am a real one, I keep that.
Eric (01:14):
I hate that so much I'm pretty good at at filtering
myself in public, uh, in socialsituations, specifically,
specifically, my face.
But if somebody starts that,friend, we had plans to go to
this restaurant.
I've obviously looked up thefucking menu already.
I know what I want.
Matt (01:36):
I had my entire life decided.
Eric (01:40):
Why would I get 10 things that I don't want and share them
, and share also the?
Matt (01:48):
one thing I do Ultimately, I feel getting less food
throughout the market.
Because I don't know about you,Matthew.
When I order something, I amordering proportional to my
hunger.
I was like this will satiate me.
This is one unit of eric food.
Here it goes.
I'm numb, I'm full.
(02:09):
Now you have thrown off myfucking calculus lindsey and I
don't even share food.
Eric (02:15):
Okay, what we'll do.
What we'll do is the like I'llget this, you get this.
Oh, try, you, try this.
Here's your sampling, here's mysampling, and we move on and
meanwhile I feed alissa, like alittle bird I was asked.
I was gonna ask do you andalissa like put a pin in the
(02:35):
group?
How do you and alissa behave ina restaurant just in terms of
ordering food?
I don't care about your heavypetting oh, in terms of food.
Matt (02:42):
So if we're at a group, it really between the two of us.
I am a never-ending bastion ofhunger and alissa's hunger comes
and goes and flits about like alittle butterfly on the wind.
Makes no sense.
So there there are times whenshe's like, hey, I'm not really
hungry.
Do you want to get this onereally big thing and just split
it?
And and I'm totally fine withthat, because I'm like there are
(03:08):
days where Alyssa's like I'mnumb, numb, numb, all done.
I'm just like there's still somuch I am constantly eating
Alyssa's pizza bones.
I am, I, sorry.
Eric (03:18):
Sorry, Ooh, ooh ooh, beep, beep, beep, Back it up.
What are pizza bones?
Matt (03:26):
No, the bones.
You know when the crust winsthe bones.
Eric (03:27):
Yeah, okay, that's fine.
I also don't eat crusts, butlindsey does, so I always see
that I just hand my crusts over.
Matt (03:33):
I fucking love crusts I just always hand them over or
get rid of these useless thingswe'll, we'll split, we'll split
fries all the time.
Well, sure, yeah, fries don'tcount.
Mike (03:44):
Yeah, fries don't count.
Matt (03:45):
Because those will just come in all cute, Do these
little, cute little nibbles onthe food and I'm like are you?
You're good Like you, she'slike man.
Eric (03:57):
Okay, and then if you get dessert, what happens?
Matt (04:00):
So we will.
Usually, when it comes todessert situations, we will also
do this throughout every stepin the process, like we'll both
order something different andthen give each other half of it.
Eric (04:11):
Sure, and that's appropriate, I feel.
Yes, I mean, lindsay wouldnever do half of like another
dessert, like she wouldn't beable to handle that after a meal
.
but she also is very guilty ofum, and we've talked about my I,
(04:31):
we've talked about how the, thebar family as a whole doesn't
order dessert and that'ssomething I fundamentally don't
agree with fucks me um no, I'vestopped giving a shit for the
most part, like, yeah, whenwe're out with her parents, I
will, almost out of spite, belike when her dad's like are we
good for dessert?
Yeah, I think we're good.
Mike (04:46):
I'll be like let's take a look at the menu.
Eric (04:51):
I'll go ahead and peruse cause.
Matt (04:53):
I am still.
Eric (04:54):
I'm still an upright citizen of America.
Matt (04:59):
Is that a?
Eric (05:00):
key lime pie my goodness, is that a creme?
Matt (05:04):
brulee, you got on that dessert call.
If there's a key lime pie onthat, is that a creme brulee?
You got on that dessert call.
If there's a key lime pie onthat dessert menu, it's all
fucking over, I do love a keylime pie and I do love creme
brulee.
Eric (05:12):
I love desserts in most shapes and sizes they're fucking
rules.
But lindsey is very guilty ofbeing like oh, I'll just have
some of yours.
And that is when I'll be likelet's just stop.
Stop right there.
Am I choosing two desserts ornot?
Because there's a 50-50 chance.
When she was like oh, I'm toofull for dessert, I'll just have
some of yours.
(05:32):
How much?
Mike (05:34):
Yeah, how much is that?
How much is some here?
Eric (05:36):
Because if I'm getting a slice of key lime pie and you
eat half of it, guess what?
I need two key lime pies.
Matt (05:48):
Because I can house this pie, I can, I, I can shelve this
fucking pie my body isexpecting one perfectly full
triangle of key lime pie I'mgonna dumpster this key lime pie
fucking.
This is key lime pie and I'm alocksmith.
Let's fucking go.
But like unlocked.
Elisa is very good at particularalissa can take a look at
something and like,preternaturally, go like, oh,
(06:10):
you're gonna want your own,aren't you?
I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Iam.
She was like that as well andI'm always like I will if we're
in a situation where she's likeI don't want dessert, but like
can I just have some girls like,I will buy you any dessert on
earth if it means that I get allof mine in, depending on how
(06:31):
ravenous and on yielding myhunger is.
Eric (06:33):
As far as I'm concerned, desserts have no price.
Like yeah, at that point in themeal, we're in, Fuck it, we're
in.
I've already gotten threethirteen dollar cocktails.
Like fuck it.
What's another twelve dollarpiece of cake?
Matt (06:46):
it.
It's, it's like yeah, this isthis.
It's like the sunk cost fallacy, except you get cake at the end
, except you get cake at the end.
Eric (06:58):
Now, enough, enough about, enough about dessert.
Let's get back to this group.
Matt (07:03):
Oh shit, right, we're hypothetical.
Eric (07:08):
I told you I had this pinned for an oops, all tangents
but, we could adapt it for acold open, and here we are.
Matt (07:15):
Remember, folks, only the first tangent's free.
Actually, it wasn't.
Eric (07:21):
So, okay, I'm just glad that we are aligned, that the
people are like what if we allsplit our spawns of Satan
himself?
Yeah, because, like you'reputting, because as soon as you
say that if you, dear listener,are one of these people or have
been one of these people, justknow you are putting someone,
(07:41):
even if they enthusiastically,are like oh yeah, that's a good
idea.
You have put at least oneperson in every group in a
terrible position who have to belike sure, I didn't have
exactly the meal I wanted pickedout already.
Matt (07:59):
I didn't have my destiny writ cross the stars for this
meal.
Eric (08:04):
No, not me I'm fine with inevitably splitting this
equally, even though I didn'tequally eat all the food.
Matt (08:14):
I will say exceptions to this are if I'm going to a
restaurant where it is a knownfactor that, like shared plates,
is how it's served.
Mike (08:23):
Like indian food fucking like fucking like lots of
different.
Matt (08:27):
Like, uh, fucking ethiopian food is fucking
incredible, but it's like alllike it's shared stuff, so like,
and that's fine that, because Iknew that going in yes, like
single carrot.
Eric (08:40):
Single carrot had a long stint.
My theater company that isrip'd had a long.
My theater company that isRIP'd had a longstanding
tradition of after we close ashow, after we do Strike,
specifically after Strike Night,we go to this Indian place in
Baltimore and we would get waytoo much food that we didn't
need.
Even if it was like 10 people,we'd order like 18 dishes it's
(09:03):
so much fun.
And like we'd order like it'sgreat, it's so much fun, and
like we'd split the food.
And if you know that going init's, that's fine, but when you
it's a bonding and communalexperience.
I'm talking specifically aboutwhen somebody is like hey, I got
an idea.
Matt (09:18):
No, you don't yeah, this is the person who, like, we'll
all do secret santa and thenwe'll show up to secret santa
and they're the one who's likewell, why don't we just make
into a white elephant at thelast second?
Eric (09:27):
because that's not what we did.
We've all seen that episode ofthe office.
That's not how this works,thought into this.
Matt (09:33):
I have commit, my course has been laid.
I I took this so firmly out ofmy brain I didn't have to think
about it anymore because I waslike, yep, I know where we're
going, I know what I'm going tobe eating.
Eric (09:47):
I know what this person is interested in.
I think they'll appreciate thisor think this is funny or
whatever angle you went with forSecret Santa and then.
And then I've never been in awork meeting where somebody has
(10:07):
suggested it, probably becauseI've lived in a post-White
Elephant episode office erawhere people went oh, no one
should ever do that.
Matt (10:10):
Yeah, we've talked about this on the show before I've
experienced.
We've also talked about it onthe neat cast.
Yes, we have.
Eric (10:16):
We're going coast to coast with this message we can't
bring white, else, yes, fuckwhite elephants, except the
animal and and and and fuck,spontaneously, deciding that
everyone's going to split theirfood at the last second.
Matt (10:29):
When you go to a restaurant with a group of
friends in a lift, god damn, youwant to start the show.
Eric (10:35):
Yeah, all right, let's do it.
Well, hello everybody andwelcome to you.
(10:56):
Didn't ask for this, thepodcast that answers life's
least pressing questions.
My name is matthew shea.
My name is Eric Poach.
Eric Poach, tell me how you are.
I am well rested well hydrated.
Matt (11:10):
I had a little snack earlier and I'm talking to one
of my bestest friends.
I'm doing great.
Eric (11:16):
Oh my god, you had a snack and you are a snack.
Oh, my god, oh my god, why areyou so obsessed?
Mike (11:22):
with me.
Eric (11:24):
So that was a little bit of a lengthy cold open.
Matt (11:27):
Cold open had some meat on it.
Nothing wrong with that.
Eric (11:29):
Not at all.
But do you want to get rightinto questions and shit?
Matt (11:33):
Yes, my dude.
Eric (11:34):
Okay, so we actually do have three planned, because we
do have a voicemail from thethought line that's been sitting
here for a little bit.
Should we start with thatbefore we get to some other
questions?
And then I believe we're goingto end today with the first Eric
edition of Pop Quiz.
Matt (11:54):
Yeah, it's going to be a great time.
Eric (11:56):
I'm looking forward to that.
Anyway, let's see what's on thethought line.
Hey, it's Mike Perry.
Mike (12:02):
Jr, a longtime listener, one-time guest and often quoted
on your show.
I got a bone to pick with youboth right now.
Sure, femur or tibia Damn, Ilove you both.
Call me if you need like arocking theme song.
I know your theme song is good,but you know, call me if you
(12:24):
need a rocking one.
Just you know I have I haveideas.
Eric (12:28):
Okay, love you, hemer, to be a mike, listen, let's, let's
all come clean with the audiencehere for a second here.
Yeah, this is not the firsttime mike perry has brought up a
theme song produced by him forthis show and I do.
Matt (12:48):
I love the master stroke of including that in the thought
line.
Knowing that we would be, we'rehonor bound to include this now
recently real game of thronesmove mike perry jr.
Eric (13:02):
A real Game of Thrones move Littlefinger.
So listen, here's the situation.
What's wrong with our themesong?
Matt (13:11):
Yeah, what's wrong with our theme song?
Eric (13:13):
I mean just because Poach picked it out of like a
royalty-free music site on thefirst day that we recorded this
podcast and we haven't changedit in four years.
Yeah, what's wrong with it?
What's wrong with it?
Matt (13:26):
I don't think anything.
Do you think anything's wrongwith it, eric?
Eric (13:27):
I'll tell you what ain't wrong with it paying royalties
paying royalties, paying some,paying some punk question
submitter to write us aquote-unquote rocking theme song
you dare suggest we.
We support artists, boy, howdare you?
Matt (13:50):
we'll consider it yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry,
that was, that was mr pottertalking.
You know he comes out every nowand then.
Every now and then he justerupts out of my face shaking a
cane and, you know, not long ago, damning the proletariat what?
Eric (14:05):
not long ago, I watched rear wind speaking of jimmy
stewart.
I watched rear window for thefirst time.
What excellent, excellentimpression that you dropped
immediately yeah, yeah.
Matt (14:20):
Well, there's only one part of it that matters.
Eric (14:24):
That's why, jimmy stewart's my favorite impression
you don't have to say words Ihave to say this I'm a big fan
of hitchcock, of course, butit's just fine, it's fine, it's
just fine, it's just fine heyit's allowed to be, it's okay I
know that in the 90s there wasafter, sadly, he was paralyzed.
(14:46):
Uh, they made a differentversion of rear window starring
christopher reeve, and I wouldlike to see that I would like to
check that out, because it wasone of his last like true acting
roles after he was paralyzedand I think that's pretty cool
that he was paralyzed, eric, wowno, mike perry jr wants to
(15:07):
write us a theme song and you'reover here thinking it's cool
that christopher reeves got verybadly hurt on a horse no dog,
that's not what I said.
I think it's cool that hollywoodproduced a remake of Rear
Window, which was fine, soChristopher Reeve could play a
(15:28):
role that he actually could play.
Matt (15:32):
Okay, you fucking asshole.
Careful, matt Shea, you're onthick ice, oh yeah.
Eric (15:38):
I'm on thick ice.
I'm on thick ice.
Eric, let me introduce you to ahorse.
Matt (15:45):
I was weirdly threatening to paralyze you, I don't know
why it was such a weird out ofleft hand thing that I
completely forgot that we werejust talking about a man having
a horse accident.
So like I didn't even I triedto weasel it in.
Mike (16:05):
Is this a new character.
Eric (16:10):
And even I didn't understand how it would work,
because I would be, I paid offthe horse to throw you.
I guess at a very specificangle.
I gave him a metric fuckton ofsugar cubes and said like listen
, I'll keep these coming.
Matt (16:27):
Oh my god, throw him, but make it non-lethal have you rode
a horse?
Yeah, I love riding horses,have you really?
Yeah, I went back when I workedfor the renaissance fair.
I learned how to ride uh, thejostling sure, yeah sure, that
makes sense it was a lot of funthey're, they're wonderful,
beautiful they are.
Eric (16:44):
I haven't ridden a horse in many a year, but I have
terrified animals.
Matt (16:48):
Yeah, they are fun scared at all times um femur or tibia
right right, of course, that'swhat.
Eric (16:55):
That's why we're actually here.
Matt (16:56):
Femur or tibia, hold on which one's the tibia you're
about to.
You're about I knowur.
One's on top, one's on the body.
I think the tibia is where thethigh is.
The femur is where your shinsis.
Well, the femur is the biggestbone in the body.
Right Tibia is where your shinslive.
(17:17):
Femur is where your, that'syour thigh bone.
Eric (17:23):
Oh, I see so it's the thin part of the of the big leg
there the thin part of the bigleg, there being the medical
nomenclature yes so the thin?
Well, because it splits right,it's got like two little bones,
but the big bone is actually thetibia and the femur is the thin
I thought the femur was thebiggest bone in the body, oh,
(17:43):
okay, so, yeah.
Matt (17:44):
So, of your shin, your shin bones, the thinner one is
the fibula, the bigger one isthe tibia, and then the your
thigh bone.
On the next rung up on the legis your femur.
Eric (17:57):
Yeah, okay, I was right.
In humans, the femur is thelargest and thickest bone in the
body.
It's a strong boy.
It can be used as a weapon.
If separated from the body,it's in.
Yeah, I say femur you say femur.
Matt (18:11):
Hold on, let me just reopen this tab, because I
already forgot which one it is.
You say femur.
Eric (18:16):
I think I'm a femur.
I'll open the tibia bone pageyeah oh, I see.
So femurs top, top of the legyeah tibia's bottom.
They're both the big bones,yeah, but the femur is obviously
the bigger one.
Matt (18:34):
Um, I think femur, yeah, tibia has been good to me, has
it?
No, it has, because I used to.
I'll refresh your memory.
I used to drive a karate van.
Eric (18:49):
I remember.
Matt (18:50):
I don't need refreshing To the karate school Mm-hmm To the
karate daycare, where I taughtkarate at a daycare.
Yeah, I mean you need both ofthem.
Mike (19:00):
Like there's no, you don't have an option.
Matt (19:03):
Like I can't, just oops, all you know tibia but I will
say, in terms of dealing damageto an opponent, the tibia is
going to come into play a lotmore.
No, femur.
No, I mean in terms of, like,the part of your body that's
going to be coming in contactwith someone when you kick.
Eric (19:24):
Oh, I see, In that respect you're correct.
Yeah, yeah.
Matt (19:27):
No, the femur is where the power comes from.
That's where, yeah, that's.
Eric (19:31):
If we're in a bone fight and I've got a femur and you've
got a tibia, you have a.
Matt (19:37):
in that case you have a broadsword and I have like a
rapier, exactly.
Eric (19:41):
That's exactly the point I was going to make.
Yeah, so you need thesupplemental bone that comes
with the tibia so you can go,because that's going to be your
dagger, right.
Matt (19:54):
It's going to be your dagger right.
Eric (19:55):
It's going to be the yes, whereas I'm just hacking away at
you with my big, thick boy boneyeah, the question is femur or
tibia, not femur.
Matt (20:03):
Femur versus tibia, no it's not, I'm not, I'm not
saying that, oh no, no, I'm justI'm I'm making sure we're
answering mike's questionappropriately and addressing all
the points he brought up withequal measure his only point was
femur or tibia.
Eric (20:17):
That was his only.
Matt (20:18):
Yeah, his only point was femur or tibia.
You know what?
I'll say this in a.
In a survival situation likewhen we need to start making, to
use the parlance water choices,when we have to answer some big
questions, probably good eatingon that femur.
Mike (20:40):
That's what I'm saying.
That's going to be dark meat.
Eric (20:43):
Your choice meat.
Matt (20:44):
It's going to be some pretty tender.
It's going to have goodmarbling on that femur.
Eric (20:54):
Let's put ourselves in the dahmer party situation not to
be confused with the donnerparty.
Matt (21:00):
We are talking about the dahmer party, who lured many
other mormons away from theoregon trail back to their
apartment let's talk for asecond about the donner party.
Mike (21:10):
Yeah, the donner party, the donner dinner the donner
party.
Matt (21:14):
Okay, which if you haven't , I can't possibly recommend the
book the indifferent starsabove enough you have
recommended that book to me somany times because I learned
much of what I know about thedonner party from you having
read this book it is a fantasticbook.
Eric (21:33):
I recommend everybody read it and it will forever change
your opinion about the donnerparty, which have been unfairly
characterized.
Matt (21:43):
I think is like crazy cannibals in like american
folklore they were perfectlysane cannibals yes, yeah yeah,
no, I mean that's that 100%accurate they had to make
choices TM.
Eric (21:56):
They were in the most desperate of situations.
Matt (22:01):
Bro.
I've seen Deep Blue Sea.
I've heard Samuel L Jackson'smonologue.
I know that when push comes toshove, sometimes you got to eat
somebody.
Eric (22:12):
And if push comes to shove and we are in a donner party
situation and you and I arethere with the carcass of our
one of our fallen comrades, Ithink we can agree that when
we're divvying things up when itcomes to the leg, we're
divvying chris up.
Yeah, we're gonna be.
(22:33):
I think you know, when you talkabout the femur, you're talking
about the hips, you're talkingabout the butt, you're talking
about all these things.
Good me, what I'm saying isit's like saying wing versus leg
.
Matt (22:49):
Wing versus thigh Wing.
Eric (22:52):
Actually, I agree with you Wing versus thigh, it's like,
and if it's you and me, I thinkwe're both going like.
Well, I already had a wing, soI need, I need, I need the thigh
, look.
Matt (23:04):
Okay, look I.
By taking the wing, I havefulfilled my part of the social
contract.
I took a little less so I couldtake more later connor, god
rest soul, would want me to havethe femur.
Oh yeah, Craig would absolutelywant us to have this femur.
It's good eating.
Eric (23:23):
His shin meat.
Why did we change the deadcomrade?
What, who, who?
I said Connor, you said Craig.
Matt (23:31):
Oh sorry.
Eric (23:32):
Who's Craig and when did he die?
We're talking about good oldcampbell we were supposed to
answer this question in like aminute, yeah, and we didn't, but
now I think we where we'velanded, is that fucking uh, you
know uh I think, if you look atthe transcript, we've said femur
far more than we've said tibiawe if that ain't it like what is
(23:54):
?
Matt (23:56):
So, basically folks, if you're in a survival situation,
prioritize eating the femur.
It will provide the mostprotein to fat.
Your body needs fat radio ratiofor you to survive.
I base this on watching a lotof alone.
You watch alone.
Fucking love alone, yeah, Doyou watch a lot?
No, I feel like Fucking loveAlone.
Yeah, do you watch Alone?
No I feel like you would loveAlone.
(24:17):
Matt, you would love Alone.
Eric (24:20):
Perhaps I would, but I think we've answered the
question.
It's going to be femur for us,Mike Puri.
Thank you so much for thequestion and for calling in
Again in different stars aboveby Daniel James Brown.
Matt (24:33):
I recommend it highly and shout out to us because we did
not say the words, hardly evenknow her once during that entire
bit.
Fucking like that's progressfor your hosts.
Eric (24:50):
Everybody, that's baby stop what you're doing and give
us a round of applause.
Matt (24:54):
Snaps, snaps, snaps.
You got to applaud it.
Where you see it, that's growth.
Eric (24:59):
That's growth, and God bless us everyone.
Matt (25:04):
That brings us to our next question.
This is from Tim on the AgainstAll Oddities podcast.
Tim asks what is the Lego setthat absolutely needs to exist
but never will?
Thank you, Tim.
Eric (25:19):
Thank you, tim, as always.
Now I recently have gotten afew of the series where it
started with a fan, like aperson used it.
I think it's called eitherIdeas or Creator or something
like that.
I've done two of them.
I've done the Lego DeLorean,which you have but haven't done,
(25:39):
and I've done a typewriterwhich functions.
Matt (25:43):
There's like the Atari console that you can play.
Eric (25:46):
I would love to do that.
Matt (25:47):
Alyssa really wants the Polaroid camera, one that you
can take.
Eric (25:50):
Oh, I'll tell you which one I desperately want for this
house and we'll get once webuild some shelves for it.
Yeah, I want that titanic,fucking legos yeah, you want the
conversation piece I want toshelve out the fucking 800 bucks
, or whatever it is, for thatgoddamn boat, and I want it.
(26:11):
I want to build it, I want tospend months building it, I want
it to be mounted and I wanteveryone to come and appreciate
me a I will come and appreciateyou, god damn right b.
Matt (26:21):
I will not insult you by offering to help you build it.
Um, no, yeah, that's, it's.
Eric (26:26):
Lego is a very personal I know lego is a one per is a
solitary activity unless you'redoing it with your child it's a
solitary activity.
Matt (26:34):
I get yeah, yeah, I get stressed when people want to
help me, like I was like no, thebeauty of this is I can go as
fast or as slow as I want and Idon't have to think about anyone
but me fucking up and we weretalking about this not too long
ago.
Eric (26:48):
Like I actually, in doing this, the quote-unquote adult
lego set uh, not that any anyLego set is not adult.
I'll just go on the recordsaying that Doing Lego as an
adult I find to be actuallyquite meditative, yeah, very
like.
Oh, I'm going to sit down andjust fucking look.
(27:10):
There's no stakes, no stakes.
Matt (27:13):
I'm just chilling and constructing and making sure
everything's right and it's agood time now, what I am down
for is, like I don't I have noproblem with like some parallel
crafting or activities going onaround me.
If you want to, if you want tochill over there, we listen to
music and chat while I ambuilding this yeah, but if you
(27:35):
come over and say can I do thisstep, I'm gonna be like no, fuck
off no, because, then, becausethen, if something does go wrong
, I have someone to blame itmight not even be your fault,
but now you're, you're on thetable, and I don't want that for
us I don't want that for you,because I know my wrath will
come, because I can't blamemyself.
(27:56):
God forbid no, oh man, I, uh,I'm just imagining you having
spent hours, days building thistitanic and and then, like
someone helped you and thensomething went wrong.
It's just like it caused, likea seaward, like just as you're
finishing the build, it snapsright where the Titanic snapped,
right where it broke.
Eric (28:18):
I think that's how it's designed.
I think it's designed for youto break it in two, speaking of
my burdens.
Yeah, slats.
I have owned for probably closeto a decade now Lego Helms Deep
(28:39):
from Lord of the Rings stillhave not built it and you still
haven't built that Lego DeLorean, which you can make into any
one of the three versions thatyou choose.
It's a good set.
I recommend you do it.
It's a good set, I built it.
And, of course, back to theFuture 2.
But course, uh, back to thefuture too, but with the back to
the future one out of timelicense plate because I thought
(28:59):
it was more appropriate fordisplay purposes.
Matt (29:01):
It is uh, objectively, uh.
So now let's talk about thesets that lego's not brave
enough to make jeffrey dahmer'sapartment.
Eric (29:13):
Think of the femurs and tibias.
Matt (29:14):
You can screw about, bro.
Um here's a set for you mattthe motorcade, the motorcade,
the motorcade oh, the motorcadeI see how the dawning of
realization oh, the motorcadeyeah, yeah, and you can build it
(29:36):
.
Eric (29:36):
All kinds of different ways it shows you on the back.
Matt (29:43):
It shows you the back how you know they always had, like
the here's, these alternateconfigurations you could do yeah
yeah, and there's like here'sone where lee harvey oswald
killed him.
Eric (29:52):
so you can, can cut.
I was going to say you can cut,you can get the grassy knoll
adaptation set.
Matt (29:58):
Yeah.
You can get the book depositorythis this shit sells itself,
you, man with the umbrella.
Eric (30:04):
You get a little Abraham Zapruder with his camera that
you can put in the corner, youknow just so.
Matt (30:11):
So many, so many configurations, so many
questions.
Eric (30:15):
Now, eric, you've got to know you are teetering on the
edge of a tangent here from me.
Matt (30:26):
We're going to have to have an offshoot of Oops All
Tangents called Oops All JFKTangents.
Eric (30:32):
It will be a whole series of just me talking.
Matt (30:37):
So the motorcade, that's one lego.
Eric (30:38):
Yeah, I think the dealy plaza set is good bro.
Matt (30:42):
Uh, this absolute this is my actual, for real, fun answer
absolutely needs to be a legoset.
They need to commit to it, makethe whole thing.
That's why it never will be thelarge hadron collider oh god,
eric, yes, okay yes, sure toscale and it works to.
Eric (31:01):
Oh, and it works great.
Look, it comes with a littlelittle lego higgs boson.
I can put it right underneathmy chernobyl lego set, chernobyl
absolutely, I would buy thefuck it today.
Matt (31:14):
It would be one of the light up ones with like the oh
my god, yeah no, no spousalintervention would be able to
stop me from getting thechernobyl set comes with a,
comes with a little jared harris.
What a great miniseries, one ofthe best of all time, jared
harris is truly one of myfavorite actors of all time.
Eric (31:34):
Yes, stellan skarsgard as well yes, of course, so fucking
good.
Every everyone talked about him.
What about you remember, eric?
At the end of every where'swaldo, there's the land of
waldos, page it's just like not,oops, all waldos oops all
waldos.
Matt (31:48):
Yeah, I want the oops all waldos yeah, oh, every variation
of waldodo's little minifig,and there's no reason this can't
exist.
Eric (31:59):
No reason it can't.
Now you know, eric, that thesedays, with the quote unquote,
adult Lego sets that you can do,like Starry Night, like.
Matt (32:07):
Lando's Starry Night.
I love the bonsai tree, one I'mobsessed with.
I want that very badly.
Eric (32:12):
The bonsai tree one.
There's the wave I believe theyhave as well.
I want a jackson pollock okay,okay, fuck.
Matt (32:23):
Now we're fucking cooking with gas, son and and not not
just jackson pollock, I alsowant a guernica.
My man's got Guernica dreams ona Lego budget.
Eric (32:38):
Don't say that that sounds like a war crime.
Matt (32:42):
That is probably.
It probably is A JacksonPollock would be incredible.
Eric (32:48):
I'd love a Waiting for Godot.
Matt (32:51):
Lego set A scene from Eraserhead a godot uh.
Eric (32:54):
lego set a scene from a racer head a waiting for good,
awaiting for godot lego setwould be fucking incredible.
You build a tree, you build atree and just the two minifigs.
Incredible, oh man, oh man, sogood.
And then you can build the acttwo version and add three leaves
(33:15):
.
Matt (33:16):
What's your?
This joke will only be funny tolike Ten people are chuckling.
Eric (33:29):
Ten people went Someone was like reference.
Matt (33:34):
Ten people breathed heavily out their nose they did
that thing that a dog does whenit's asleep and it's chasing
rabbits.
That's how deep into thesubconscious our comedy
penetrates absolutely any.
Any do you want to call a shotfor?
Mike (33:58):
like, oh, like.
What do we think they are?
Matt (34:00):
legitimately gonna do like , what will they do?
Eric (34:05):
next in what they will do next.
I mean, they've gotten they.
They seem to be going down toyour point about like the camera
and the typewriter and andother things.
They seem to be going down toyour point about like the camera
and the typewriter and otherthings.
They seem to be going down this, this route of things that
actually can work which is dope?
Matt (34:23):
How long till we get a gun ?
Trying to think of something inthat vein.
I'm thinking because they'vealready got like this might
already be a Lego set.
I'm not going to Google it, I'mjust going to say it Christ the
Redeemer.
Eric (34:37):
You know, eric, that would actually be would not surprise
me it'd be a pretty dope legoset it'd be a dope ass.
Matt (34:43):
That would be the set.
Are you kidding me?
If I had a little christ theredeemer made out of legos, I
would put that everywhere in myhouse and it would be awesome
I'm trying to.
Eric (34:54):
Okay, so it's, I was right , the like typewriter and stuff.
It's from the ideas collection,which is to say, somebody has
made this and it got popular.
You can upvote things on theIdea community or whatever, and
then eventually, if it getsenough Lego, we'll make it like
a set.
That's how the typewriter camearound.
Some Lego superfan just made aLego typewriter and Lego was
(35:16):
like oh yeah, we can work withthis.
We can take your plans andtweak them a bit and put them
out commercially matt and sothat has legs.
For that is what I'm yeah,that's got legs like I think,
like I am not.
I'm not enough of an engineerbrain to take like just a bunch
of legos and make something likea working guitar no, like I
(35:39):
can't, I need a script I.
Matt (35:41):
Well, I was gonna say you might be able to do something, I
I I, I might, but my brainloves the break of like oh, I
know exactly what the end goalis, I know what this is going to
become and I think that's thetherapeutic part of the, of the
instruct, of the doing the legosnow is like oh, I just I'm
(36:02):
following this picture.
Eric (36:03):
It's like ikea, but without the rage yeah, yeah, and
, and, and, and.
To that end and the physicallabor as much as I.
Matt (36:12):
This is like it's wild just seeing my boundaries like
solidified in and like onpackaging.
Because, like when I look atthe back of the box I mentioned
this earlier when they show like, oh, you can put it like this,
and they show like, look at allthese crazy different ways you
could build this.
I have never in my life doneone of those like the alternates
(36:35):
.
I've never gone off recipe no,absolutely not.
Eric (36:39):
It terrifies.
What if somebody did?
What if I've lost a piece?
What if somebody did the?
The scene from silence of thelambs where hannibal escapes oh,
yeah, yeah from his temporarycell you've got like the little
lego man that's hannibal.
Matt (36:57):
You've got like the security guard's face helmet
that you put on.
Eric (37:00):
Yeah, you got that you've got the, the angel that he makes
out of the guy's fucking organs.
Yeah, that's what we need.
Matt (37:10):
Here I did.
I did think of one for theideas line, for the actual
functional you'll have to makethis go on the Lego e-meter.
E-meter that's the little boxthat Scientologists use to
measure how faithful you are.
Eric (37:25):
Oh yes, I knew it rang a bell, I just couldn't figure out
which To measure your theirlittle lie detector.
Yes, yes, well done.
Thank you, well done you.
Matt (37:37):
We started at the JFK assassination and came right
back to Scientology.
It's like we didn't move at all.
Eric (37:44):
You heard it here first, folks.
Eric is a Scientologist.
I've seen Battlefield Earth, soI think we've thrown out a
couple of good suggestions and abunch of mediocre ones.
Matt (37:55):
Yeah yeah, yeah, we've thrown out some real Christ the
Redeemer's in there.
No one can judge this answernow.
Eric (38:01):
It's very good I saw a tiktok where somebody like snuck
to the head of the christredeemer, like okay, like he
snuck through the, the, theinner workings of christ, and
came out the the head hatch andwas on top of it and it is, in
fact, just like a fuckingthere's like a little, where
fact just like a fucking there'slike a little, where it's just
(38:21):
like a maintenance hatch that hecan just get out.
I didn't know it.
Huh, have you ever been to theStatue of Liberty, mm-mm.
Matt (38:30):
Seen it, admired it, but from a distance From afar.
Eric (38:34):
You haven't been on Liberty Island.
No, as somebody who has, it'snot super worth it, unless you
get there, very like you got toget there right at the beginning
of the day because that youcan't go up.
It after like 10 am, oh my god,because it gets too hot because
it's made of fucking copper youare baked, you will be baked
(38:58):
alive.
Like you can't go up it, hell,yeah, uh.
So you can only go up it forlike the first two hours of the
day.
So I didn't get to go up it andI think if you can't go up it
it's not then like just go tothe docks, like what are we
doing here?
Matt (39:11):
that's my beef.
I'm like, if you're gonna giveme this big statue, you gotta
give me a set of stairs so I canclimb and get to the top and
and like like get a picture ofme picking christ, the
redeemer's nose yeah, fuckingfrance.
Eric (39:25):
Yeah, that we treasure and put on all our iconography.
Oh anyway, thanks, thanks andthank you for the question tim
yeah, thank you, tim.
Um, so our last question forthe day here, poach, is uh, in
the office, where's the bestplace to sleep?
Matt (39:42):
And that one comes from Zach Deuce and he gave it to us
in our Discord, our PatreonDiscord that you can subscribe
to for one and or four dollars amonth and both of which give
you access to our Discord, andif you subscribe to the four
dollar tier, you get access to amonthly bonus episode and 20%
off all future merchandise.
Eric (40:02):
The very same.
Nice, very nice.
Yes, thank you, zach, and alsojust thanks in general for
popping off the chat and thediscord all the time.
You're an angel, tim, you too.
Mike (40:13):
Yeah.
Eric (40:15):
Um, and everybody else.
It's been a fun time in thediscord.
Anyway, best place to sleep.
Matt (40:30):
Best place to sleep in the discord anyway, best place to
sleep, best place to sleep inthe office, in the office.
I have so much directexperience with this.
Oh yeah, you're a slacker.
Uh yeah, uh, no, I I am.
Well, I am a slacker.
I am also always surrounded byother slackers, um, so I've seen
many.
There have been many uh goodmethods I've seen employed
throughout my time in thecorporate environment.
Eric (40:45):
Sure, you want to give me one.
Matt (40:47):
Yeah, two of my favorites follow a theme, and that theme
is the best place to sleep,right out in plain sight.
Eric (40:58):
So here's how you do it.
I was going to say speak morein the and when I say in plain
sight, here's how you do it.
Matt (41:01):
I was gonna say speak more in the person, or, and when I
say in plain sight, I mean likeright under that, like make it
so overt, it's covert.
Uh, an associate of mine, uh,we would work in the lab and
this man had uh three new kidsat home.
They were babies and they weretriplets.
They murdered sleep, sure.
(41:21):
So his technique he would be ata microscope, he would wear a
baseball cap.
He wore a baseball cap every dayhe's in baseball cap, he's got
his face mask, like like we'rein a clean, a class 10 000 clean
room, so like we're done, likelike the coats, the gloves, the
bonnets and he's got his big old.
So what he would do is he wouldlike get his microscope set up
(41:45):
these are like big, heavy duty,fucking microscopes and he would
rest his.
He would look down them andrest his forehead against the
fucking apparatus and balancehimself so that he could be
asleep, and it just looks likehe's staring very intently down
a microscope the entire time.
Okay, and for how long is hedoing?
He would take micro naps oflike five, ten minutes.
(42:08):
We would uh, we and we would,we would elbow him if someone
was coming by.
Oh, I see you, gotta, it'simportant to have a lookout.
That brings me to uh examplenumber two.
Guy was working in, uh, theshipping receiving warehouse.
He built a cot and like alittle like sleeping chamber
(42:30):
into the shelves of thewarehouse.
Like had like legitimatelybuilt up a little, a little
fucking oasis, like in somecrates and shit it was.
Eric (42:40):
You had to know about it to know it was there yes, but
like this is in any kind ofwarehouse, I feel like this is
pretty common and popular yeahcreate like and it works and
accessible by forklift only.
Matt (42:54):
Like like hidden room the problem is is that, like a lot
of people have access toforklifts, sure, a lot, of, a
lot of forklift certificationsfloating around.
So he got found out and he gotfired well, sure, now I haven't.
Eric (43:10):
Um, I haven't worked in a warehouse and I haven't worked
in.
Even though I work in corporateamerica, I work remotely, but
when I worked in an office, itwas a theater and I was also a
member of a theater company, asI've already mentioned on this
very episode.
In a theater, oh, there's allkinds of places to sleep, uh, oh
(43:31):
my, oh, there's so many placesto sleep, but those are not like
, like one of my favorites atsingle carrot, the place, the
place, if you like.
If it was a 10 out of 12 techrehearsal and you needed a place
to sleep during the dinnerbreak, costume storage is where
you want to go.
You go in between those fucking, uh, you know, clothing racks.
(43:52):
It's, it's acoustically, uh,set up for napping.
You know, it's just quiet andnice, muffled, a little warm, a
little toasty.
It's a great time, but notevery workplace has costume
storage.
So what you need to do, thoughbecause I do think this is
almost universally true there'sgot to be some area that's not
(44:15):
very frequented that you canalso like a lounge or something,
yeah, or, if you have access to, like a maintenance room yeah,
yeah, if you see you.
Matt (44:28):
The key here is you need a group of folks that you are
real fucking cool with.
Yeah, these will be the peoplewho, like, will reveal the nap
spots to you.
Yes, and they will also playlookout for you and cover your
ass.
Should like ring the bell?
Should the man be coming?
Should the man come to town asJohnny Cash?
(44:49):
Yes, I thought it was when hecomes around.
It is.
Eric (44:54):
Okay, it is Okay.
Yeah, let's move on.
Matt (44:57):
Okay, yep, just asking you to put some respect on jonathan
cash's name it's not hisfucking name.
Eric (45:04):
Why don't we start the respect there?
Matt (45:06):
good places to sleep.
Eric (45:08):
Uh, up my ass matt, oh yeah oh yeah, I bet it is
cavernous in there yeah so Iwould be able to, once I get all
the goddamn gas out of the way,fucking temperate my dude.
Yeah, I bet it is nice andtoasty up in there.
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to burrowmyself up in that butt.
I fucking hope you do.
Yeah, yeah, watch me, and youknow what I'm coming in foot.
(45:32):
First bitch Was that necessary.
Mike (45:35):
It wasn't I apologize, hey , you know what?
Matt (45:44):
Good on us for having a healthy conversation, getting it
out.
Good places to sleep I've neverseen someone get in trouble for
sleeping in their car.
Yeah, I mean that's alwaysthere it's got the sad factor it
is the saddest place to sleepat work.
Eric (45:57):
It should be the moment you realize you should get a new
job.
Yeah, you're telling me, but uh, um, I'm just saying, if you,
if you, if you're there, if youneed to go sleep or meditate or
escape to feel like you're goingto go home but you're not, yeah
(46:18):
, might be a warning sign oh,here's a good one, and this one
is not going to be everyone'scup of tea, but it does work, if
it works for you.
Matt (46:28):
The cafeteria during lunch ?
Oh sure, because here's thething, tell me, this goes back
to that idea of so overt it'scovert, are you sure?
When we go into the lunchroom,there's a social contract in
play.
The social contract is hey,game off.
Like you know what I mean.
Everyone, like I have I havethis.
Ken's job is lunch like thisjob is.
Eric (46:51):
All he does is lunch all he do is lunch.
Matt (46:54):
So, like I could be a fucking ceo, I don't care, I'm
like.
I see someone like no, not myno, not nope lunch.
I eat lunch now and everyone inthe cafeteria is thinking that
no one is going to approach you,especially because they're all
going to be thinking man, thatguy's sleeping at lunch.
I'm not going to make his dayworse.
(47:16):
If you can handle the noise,it's like you just think of the
sound of the cafeteria is one ofthose like white noise machines
you get for your bedroom.
You're golden.
Yeah, put your little, just putyour head, just nestle your
head down like, like, use anelementary school.
Eric (47:32):
And I.
My lunch spot was always, whenI previously worked in an office
place was always a couch in inthe basement level.
Uh, again, this is theater.
You know there's receptionareas in the lobbies and whatnot
, but I am confident thatthere's a chair that there's
some place in most workplacesthat is far, far away from other
(47:56):
people.
Maybe it's one chair by theelevators or something just Just
naturally.
Matt (48:00):
liminal spaces within yes.
Eric (48:03):
And if I was in an environment that that was the
only option, that is where Iwould eat lunch.
I would eat lunch as far awayfrom anyone who might interrupt
it as possible.
Matt (48:14):
That's why I hate lunch meetings.
They're the fucking devil.
I'm like no, when I this Ken'sjob is lunch.
No, this can it is lunch.
No, this can it doesn't thiscan lunch.
Eric (48:24):
We're just having a meeting and you're trying to to
take away my, my paid lunch, andI won't have it.
No, sir, no sir, no, ma'am.
So those are some places youcan sleep.
Those are some places you cansleep.
And, uh, zach, thank you forthe question thank you so much,
zach, hey matt tell me pop quiz.
(48:47):
I am so excited, eric.
I am so excited for a segment Ididn't have to contribute to in
any way this is great.
Matt (48:54):
All you have to do, matt is wonderful.
So while back, matt, uh, out offucking nowhere, hit me with a
pop quiz about birds yes, Icalled it a bird or bluff, I
believe it was 25 birds.
Eric (49:07):
I believe it was 25 birds, some I made up, some were real
and matt.
Matt (49:11):
We now find ourselves in the same situation.
I have a pop quiz for you, butit's not going to be about birds
, matt, I am going name.
You got a fun subtitle for me.
Oh, hold on, hold on.
Eric (49:24):
Because I gave you a bird of bluff.
I just think I deserve a funtitle.
I know.
Matt (49:28):
I know I have it, I just got to dial in on it, hold on.
Eric (49:35):
Okay, the answer was no.
I think no the answer is no,but it was here.
You know what Momentum killer,what just happened.
Matt (49:41):
Here's what I'm going to do I'm going to explain to you
what I brought to you, and thenwe can think of a cute one.
Let's do it Pop quiz.
So, matt, you brought me birds.
Yes, I brought you Dungeons andDragons spells.
Okay.
Eric (49:55):
Yeah, I don't know a lot about that.
Matt (50:04):
I have 25 names of spells and you're just gonna tell me
which ones are real spells, andwhich ones are five?
Eric (50:07):
oh no, there's 25.
I said 25, all right, I wasgonna say I think this will be
quick I was gonna say we callthis wizard or whiff, puff or
pass oh, both good.
Matt (50:17):
So uh, spell or spell or spill, spell, spell or spill,
sizzle or fizzle, okay, uh, well, when a spell fizzles, that
means it doesn't go up, sure, um, and and just to give you the
only background that I'm goingto give you is just know that in
(50:38):
dungeons and dragons there's alot of fucking spells and they
can do so many different thingsI know a little bit from from
the world, ending to the oddlyand uncomfortably specific yes,
yes, roll for sandwich hasintroduced me to this mechanic,
so I know something, okay, okayso, uh, what do we?
(50:59):
what do we land on?
We would say spell, spell orspill.
Sure, I like this.
So spell, obviously, if it'sreal spill, if it's not first
spell, yep, locate object spell,that is a spell all right, I
thought so, I thought so and Isaid so bad touch Bad touch
(51:23):
Spell.
Not a spell.
Damn Chill touch Spell.
That is a spell.
Also, I just realized I shouldprobably be marking how many of
these you get, correct?
I?
Eric (51:34):
am two for three.
Okay, at this juncture.
Matt (51:39):
Okay, so you're two for three.
Deplorable word.
Eric (51:45):
Hmm, deplorable word Spill .
Matt (51:52):
That is in fact not a spell.
That was the spell cast byJadis, the White Witch, on her
home planet of Karn In theprequel to the Lion, the Witch
and the Wardrobe.
It turned everyone on herplanet to stone.
Oh, a real Medusa Evard's blacktentacles.
Eric (52:13):
Bringing in people's names now.
Matt (52:15):
That is also I'll say that a convention.
Of many D&D spells.
You'll have name of wizards,something, something, Sure, sure
, sure, sure, sure.
It's a spell.
It is a spell.
It's one of my favorite spells.
It's also, as a DM, one of themost infuriating spells, because
it is the.
I'm just going to turn thefight off now.
(52:36):
Ha ha ha, Stab, stab, stab.
Eric (52:49):
Because it summons a bunch of tentacles out of the ground
to restrain everyone in acertain area, and once they're
restrained, it's just openseason, baby.
Oh sure, yeah, got to betemporal shunt, temporal shunt
spell.
That is a spell, so I've onlymissed one, I think yeah, yeah,
you only got bad touch wrong sofar.
Yeah, Okay, so so far stillonly missing one.
Matt (53:03):
Next up, we have find keys .
Eric (53:06):
Find keys, I'm going to say spill, that is in fact made
up.
Yeah, baby, because my logicthere was if locate object is
real, why do we need a separateone for find keys?
Matt (53:21):
Speaking of.
Next up, we have Mordenkainen'sprivate sanctum spill.
That is a spell.
Mike (53:29):
Damn.
Matt (53:30):
Next up we have Mordenkainen's magnificent
mansion spill Also a spell, Damn.
Eric (53:37):
Now I'm just guessing, your, your strategy.
Matt (53:40):
Next up we have Lehman's tiny hut spill.
It is a spell damn it three ina row fugazi's fatal pit spill
that is made up.
Fugazi is a post-punk band whovery uh, famously does not allow
(54:04):
moshing at their shows.
I I've heard you say uh fugazibefore, so I thought that was
made up, but I was like oh, hecould have been just referencing
a dnd thing fugazi a is one ofthe greatest bands ever and but
b is just the most magicalsounding band name.
It sounds like wizard shit.
(54:25):
Next up, we have Marlowe'sUnseeing Eye.
Eric (54:34):
I'm just picturing Christopher Marlowe and that is
making me think this is a spilland I'm going to say it's a
spill.
Matt (54:45):
Yes, it is a spill.
And you guessed the influenceas well Christopher Marlowe, who
was famously stabbed in the eye.
Eric (54:53):
Okay, I thought that was a poachism.
Matt (54:56):
I thought that was from the brain of poach.
Next spell Cloud of daggers.
Cloud of daggers is a spell,baby, that is 100% a spell.
We have power.
Eric (55:08):
Word kill If if it's real, it's a disappointment.
So I'm gonna say spill it isreal disappointment.
Matt (55:17):
There's a series of spell called the power words dumb
power, word kill dumb, and itliterally is you uttering in
like magical, demonic, whatever.
However you want to play it,you're.
You're literally looking atsomeone and just saying die
stupid and they and they, theyfucking die.
I hate it.
Uh, grab thar's hammer, spillthat spell a spell, spell real
(55:54):
it is a spell, uh.
It's one of my favorite spells.
You literally insult someone so, uh, so hard.
Oh, no, sorry, that's viciousmockery, uh, which you would
love.
It's a spell where you insultsomeone so hard they take
psychic damage from it uhtasha's hideous laughter causes
someone to laugh uncontrollably,thus, you know, incapacitating
them, okay okay, tasha next upin the in the tome we have kao
(56:19):
ken special beam cannon spill.
That is fake.
Two different concepts fromdragon ball z.
Of course there's the ko kenpowering up technique, and then
there's piccolo's special beamcannon thought so you made a ko
ken joke not long ago on theshow.
Eric (56:38):
God damn it okay transport via plants oh boy, oh boy, this
, this has acorns from bothtrees.
Mike (56:50):
Mm.
Eric (56:51):
Indeed, I'm going to say it's a spill.
Matt (56:56):
It is real, damn.
Yeah.
The naming conventions rangefrom badass to locate object.
Yes, but you are good at this.
Eric (57:06):
You are good at mixing the phraseology.
This is a compliment I'm saying, I take it as I'm laughing you
know the parlance, the kindestthing I could ever hear you know
the parlance, you know that,like some are very like, oh,
locate mockery, or locate object, and you've said find keys,
(57:28):
like that's in that same thing.
You also, you know, know thatyou can put a strange, you know,
medieval name with adjectiveand it will work here.
I thank you.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Matt (57:42):
Next up we have the.
The spell summon I Kosa hedron.
Eric (57:46):
Now this sort of implies that I know what an icosahedron
is.
Um, so I'm gonna say the nameof a demon, I'm gonna say spell.
Matt (57:57):
It is a spill.
Eric (57:58):
And icosahedron is a 20-sided geometric figure well,
I I assumed it was of the sidesof some sort, so I assumed it
was real.
For that reason, and the 20makes sense.
Matt (58:12):
Yeah.
Eric (58:14):
I see what you've done.
Matt (58:15):
Next up we have the spell Moon Prism Power.
Eric (58:21):
Real spell.
Matt (58:23):
Not real, that's from.
Eric (58:24):
Sailor Moon.
I'm really falling off.
Matt (58:26):
Sailor Moon's transformation phrase moon prism
power makeup.
Eric (58:32):
Ah, yes, for all the Sailor Moon I've watched in my
time.
Matt (58:36):
I was glad you specified you.
I don't know about you and youknow everyone who listens to
this show, who has excellent,good, good taste, but I I wasted
many an afternoon of mychildhood watching Sailor Moon
on to nights.
Eric (58:48):
Wasted, I think, being the key telling word there.
Well, I should have been doinghomework.
Matt (58:54):
Programmed illusion.
Programmed illusion Spill.
Eric (59:03):
It is real Damn.
I really started strong andended bad.
Hey, hey, how many I got left.
Matt (59:14):
Three, three, okay, I can still, I can still, you can turn
this around with a hat trick Ican.
Eric (59:18):
I can finish strong.
I don't think I will have agood score, but okay cragar's
boisterous boast Jesus Christ,it's real, it is fake.
Matt (59:34):
I hate you.
Eric (59:37):
Maximilian's earthen grasp .
Honestly, I thought you justmade that one up live Just now.
Look how good I am at this.
So I'm going to say fake, it'sreal, I do not enjoy you mad is
learning why so many peoplebecome wizards like.
Matt (59:57):
I'll make fun of me, will you?
Uh, last spell.
Eric (01:00:03):
Reckoning of vibration reckoning of vibration reckoning
of vibration real made it uphate you.
Matt (01:00:14):
Hey, according to the vibe , there's a reckoning of
vibration.
That needs to happen here.
What is the final score?
Eric (01:00:21):
the final score matthew, how many did I get right?
Matt (01:00:23):
let's let's see how many I'm gonna.
Eric (01:00:26):
I'm gonna guess I got 10, I'm gonna tell you.
Matt (01:00:27):
I'll tell you your'm going to tell you.
I'll tell you your score.
I'll tell you what level ofwizard you are now.
Eric (01:00:32):
Oh, okay, that's fun.
Thematic Matthew.
Matt (01:00:35):
Yes, sir, even though there are only 20 levels in D&D.
Actually, out of 25 levels,yeah, 21 to 25, we're going to
be like God tier.
You no longer have a stat block, you're just in the rule book
now.
You're just a legend.
Mike (01:00:51):
Yeah.
Matt (01:00:53):
Matthew, congratulations.
You are a level 12 wizard.
Level 12?
That's not bad.
No, not bad at all.
And in many editions where youstart unlocking the kooky shit
that starts breaking the game,I'm proud to be a level 12 or
wizard dog.
You should be, I think, man, Ifeel like you'd make such a good
(01:01:14):
wizard.
Eric (01:01:15):
You'd make such a good wizard I'm right it right
underneath 50 technically butyeah, yeah, buddy, you're,
you're, you are.
Matt (01:01:26):
You're technically a below average wizard, sure, but
you're still a fucking wizard,but this is my starting wizard
rank.
Eric (01:01:35):
Yeah, oh starting wizard rank at 12.
Matt (01:01:38):
Yeah, dog, I'm coming out the gate at 12.
Eric (01:01:41):
Coming out the fucking gate I'm coming out the wizard
mama as 12.
Matt (01:01:47):
In fucking Pathfinder.
You know, by by level 12 youcould true name a demon.
Do you have any idea how fuckedand nuts that is?
Eric (01:01:56):
I do because I can nice, thank you, you can summon
outsiders.
Matt (01:02:02):
You can summon fucking all kinds of eldritch shit to just
come fight for you you know whatI can summon the business, the
business.
Yeah, that was good.
Eric (01:02:11):
That was good, listen.
If you would like to submit aquestion for us to answer, you
can do that.
Goddamn, so many freaking ways.
You didn't ask for this.
At gmailcom.
You can send us an email.
You can call us on the thoughtline, leave a message, like Mike
Parikh Jr did at 410-929-5329.
(01:02:31):
You can reach us on the socialmedias at you Didn't Ask Pod,
that's the letter.
You Didn't Ask Pod.
Instagram, twitter, facebook,sort of TikTok, youtube, all the
others.
And, of course, you can supportthe show directly by joining
our Patreon, patreoncom slash.
You didn't ask for this.
(01:02:52):
Two tiers $1 a month gets youaccess to our Discord.
We're having a lot of fun inthe Discord, it's a good time.
And $4 gets you not only thatbut also 20% off our incoming
merch, which we are working on.
And, more importantly, it getsyou that bonus episode of you
(01:03:12):
daft every month in the form ofoops, all tangents, oops, all
tangents.
Again, that's patreoncom slash.
You didn't ask for this.
Join today.
We would really appreciate it.
It makes us feel all warm andfuzzy.
Yeah, baby and Eric, did I missanything with the business?
Matt (01:03:31):
You didn't miss a gosh dang thing.
Eric (01:03:37):
All right.
Well then, I think very, veryquick, very effective, let's get
out of this thing for all of ushere.
You didn't ask for this.
My name's Matt.
My name's Eric poach and listenyou didn't ask this.
Matt (01:03:47):
my name's matt shay my name's eric poach.
And listen, you didn't ask butone of my favorite uh tabletop
role-playing game systems is agame called dungeon crawl
classics.
They have my favorite magicsystem that I've ever used uh,
because every time a it's sodifficult, it is like the game
is fun because it is so likecomically brutal to you.
(01:04:09):
And that extends to the magicsystem, Like every time a wizard
levels up.
If you even had the correctrandom starting stats to be able
to become a wizard.
Every time you learn a newspell you have to roll to see if
you learn that spell.
To begin with you attempt tolearn it and then when you do
learn it, you have to roll.
Begin with you, you attempt tolearn it and then, when you do
(01:04:30):
learn it, you have to roll.
There's so many fucking tablesyou have to roll on and all of
them have like everything fromcool and amazing to downright
horrific shit that can happen toyou.
There's a table you have toroll on to see what happens
every time you cast the spell.
Don't get it twisted.
I'm not talking about, you know, if I learn magic missile, I
learn magic missile, but then Ialso have to roll on a table to
(01:04:51):
see what is going to happen as aconsequence every time right
that I cast magic missile andlike it can be stuff, like you
could cast magic that'sinteresting.
Eric (01:05:02):
No, you keep talking.
The listeners will go, but you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!