103 | Smash Yacht, Bruh

Why don't boats have figureheads anymore? Are there non-food-related knuckle tattoos that are better than food ones? These are the quandaries we cover on this week's episode plus: back-to-back Pop Quizes! 

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Episode Transcript

Eric (00:00):
So heard any good jokes lately.

Matt (00:06):
There's the no.
Yeah, no, it's been a rough one.

Eric (00:12):
It's been.
You know what, it's been abumpy, been a bumpy road.

Matt (00:17):
Yeah, folks, this is coming out, you know, two weeks
after the election, but we'rerecording this on Monday, the
11th, 11-11.

Eric (00:29):
If you will, and there's a lot of things that myself and
Matt could say.
Mm-hmm Want to say oh, I'vebeen saying it in some places,
have thought about saying Someavenues I've said probably more
than I should have.
Yeah, or not enough enough, butsince today is 11, 11, 11, 11,

(00:50):
I thought it might be nice ifMatt and I just made a couple of
wishes yeah so, if you'relistening to this, I wish that
you have the best fucking day.
I wish that all of your accountsare full.
I wish that your tank is full.

Matt (01:11):
I wish that your bellies are full yes, especially that
one in some places.

Eric (01:17):
I wish that the books you read bring you comfort and joy.
Yeah, I wish that you watch amovie that changes your life.

Matt (01:26):
Ooh, that's a good one, eric.
Yeah, get in there, pile in dog.
I wish that you discover a newshow that you can dive into and
just get in the weeds with itand it becomes your personality,
Yep.

Eric (01:42):
I wish, regardless of the outcome, that you work up the
courage to tell the person thatyou're crushing on that you just
think they're the bee's knees.

Matt (01:51):
Yeah, that you just fucking can't stop looking at
that tush yeah.

Eric (01:56):
Yeah, don't lead with that , though Don't lead with the
tush.
I've made that mistake.

Matt (02:01):
No.

Eric (02:04):
Hi, my name's Matt Nice ass.

Matt (02:08):
How you doing.
Couldn't help but notice thatdump truck.
You got back there.

Eric (02:14):
I wish for you to hear a joke that legitimately makes you
laugh so hard you think youmight throw up.

Matt (02:21):
Yes, and I wish that you have just a healthy and
stress-free time with someonewho loves you and wishes the
same for you.

Eric (02:33):
Yes, I wish for you in the times ahead, forever from now,
I wish for you to find yourcommunity.
I wish for you to find yourcommunity.

Matt (02:46):
I wish for you to embrace your community and stand with
them and and love with them, andcry with them and fucking
support them because we're gonnaneed some support where, in
every corner of every communityis going to need a little
support, whether they know it ornot.

(03:07):
Hell yes.

Eric (03:09):
I wish a happy birthday to everyone who can hear my voice
and to all the people whohaven't even been born yet.
I wish you the happiestbirthday.

Matt (03:20):
All right, all right, we're getting a little bit
existential now with this.
Um, all right, all right, we'regetting a little bit
existential now with this.

Eric (03:25):
I wish that the whales have a great day today, as well,
oh my God, I wish orcas justget to smash so much.
Yacht, smash, yacht.

Matt (03:36):
Smash yacht, smash, yacht bro.

Eric (03:42):
There, you know that new Gen Z phrase smash yacht, get
yacht.

Matt (03:47):
Smash yacht bruh, as Gen Alpha says.
I believe I heard that on Bluey.
Yes, yes.

Eric (03:58):
That's my favorite episode where the little blue dog is
like watching orcas destroy megayachts.
Yeah, yeah yeah, it'seducational.
Yeah, uh, I, I wish foreveryone, and this is, this is
the neat part about these, these, these next couple wishes.
The cool part is that you canextend this wish to anyone and

(04:21):
it is a general gesture ofgoodwill and you might be asking
yourself fuck up?
oh yeah, you might be askingyourself like well, I don't know
, there's a lot of people that Iam not about right now.
Trust me, you can wish this forthem and feel perfectly fine
about it.
I wish for everyone to be freeof ignorance and the causes of
ignorance.
I wish for everyone to be freeof ignorance and the causes of

(04:44):
ignorance.
I wish for everyone to be freeof greed and the causes of greed
, and I wish for everyone to befree of hatred and the causes of
hatred.
I wish for everyone To neverhave to Be absorbed and lost in
those things.

Matt (05:07):
I wish for everyone to just let them go.
I wish for everyone to not haveto worry, to have anxiety about
if they're going to have tolive in fear.
And I wish for everyone to seeand know and understand, for
everyone to see and know andunderstand how worthy you are of

(05:28):
empathy, respect and love, andyou know, it's something a lot
of people are starting to talkabout again because people are
starting to watch it again andget into it again, and it's

(05:48):
something that's very importantto me, it's very near and dear
to my heart.
I wish that everyone wouldunderstand the depth, the, the
level of complexity that isinvolved in the lost finale.
Okay, they, they're not alldead.
Okay, they didn't all die.

Eric (06:09):
It's so much deeper than that.

Matt (06:10):
It's very plain and clear.
Okay, when they're in thechurch it's outside of time.

Eric (06:17):
Look when we opened the hatch.
We skewed into an alternatetime.

Matt (06:22):
No, we didn't, Eric, didn't we watch Lost?
I'm so mad at you right now.

Eric (06:26):
I've never seen Lost.
I'm gonna kill you.
I wish you would.

Matt (06:42):
Well, hello everybody and welcome to you Didn't Ask For
this the podcast that answerslife's least pressing question
and grants wishes.
My name is Matt Boucher.

Eric (06:53):
My name is Eric Poach.
Thanks for rubbing that bottle.

Matt (06:56):
Thanks for rubbing the bottle.
Here we are, your genies Oopsall monkeys paws.
Oops all genies.

Eric (07:02):
Oops all genies.

Matt (07:05):
We gotta get away from the oops.
Oh, but God, I monkeys paws.
Oops, all genies, oops, allgenies.
We got to get away from theoops.
Oh, but God, I love it, theoops format of naming bits.

Eric (07:11):
The oops meta is strong Oops, all oops, oh no.

Matt (07:18):
We can't do more spinoffs.
You know we simply cannot.
So I know we were a little bitserious, but it's a serious time
in the, in the cold open.

Eric (07:29):
And that's where these idiots come in.

Matt (07:31):
And that's where we come in.
We wanted to start that way.
You know, a lot of peopleactually have reached out to
both of us independently to say,like listen, your, your show
brings a lot of joy and peace,and like allows me to kind of
escape from certain things and,honestly, truly bit free.

(07:53):
It is an honor to hear that.

Eric (07:57):
It is.
I will never be able toproperly describe the feelings
that go through my body whensomeone tells me that, because
it's just yeah, it really is.

Matt (08:05):
I can't even look at it's too beautiful it really it is.
It really is.
It means a lot.
You know we're we've been herefour years now just fucking
around on these mics, um,sometimes woefully unprepared to
record an episode, and um, youknow it just'm just.
It really does mean a lot thatwe're, you guys enjoy us.

Eric (08:27):
Yep, and if everyone could just go ahead and put their
tongue in their cheek for whatI'm about to say.
Matt, here's to four more years.

Matt (08:37):
Eric, yeah, I think I'm having a heart attack after you
said that Of us Of us, of ushaving a heart attack after you
said that.
Uh, actually of us, of us, ohokay, uh, sorry, I had to shake
that off and I'm sure thatdidn't clip at all.
No, um, eric, should we jumpinto it?
Oh, my god, let's jump the fuckinto it.
Let's jump into it.
So, um, we got a couplequestions here for you today

(08:58):
that we're gonna answer before I, eric, have for you a pop quiz.
Ooh, I'm going to learn today,you are going to learn today,
and we'll get back to that,because I think it's going to be
a lot.
We'll get back to it.
We'll get back to it.
We'll get back to it.
So, eric, this first questioncomes from at Mike Parig Jr on
Instagram.

(09:19):
Frequent submitter.
Former guest.
Thank you, mike.
Why don't boats havefigureheads anymore?
Fucking, thank you.
I mean, is this not what'swrong with society?

Eric (09:33):
this, this is pretty much exclusively it.
I mean, we, our figurehead game, used to be so fucking strong
on point, intricate, like when Iintricate mermaids, oh my god.
Dragons.
Filigree scroll work likekrakens, krakens, god the

(09:57):
ridging, the, the ridging theridging.
Perfect for barnacles like youcould not ask for a more like.
What better way to enter portthan to have your fucking figure
just blazing a trail in thefoam ahead of you?

Matt (10:14):
I mean you look out at the sea, okay, as you do every day
from your lighthouse that youlive in.
Yes, yes On the bluffs when youlook out nude at the top of
your lighthouse like WillemDafoe and you're looking out.
That's only funny if you'veseen the lighthouse.

Eric (10:33):
I have, I have.

Matt (10:35):
You're looking out, flashing the world with your
bright light.
Yes, what would you rather see?
One of these steel-assbattleships or cargo carriers,
or aircraft carriers that maybehave a name printed
militaristically on the side ofit, usually a state or a dead

(10:56):
white dude?
A state or a dead white dude,or just like evergreen?
Yeah, we're very familiar withthaty dot.
Uh, it's a little, uh, a littlebit of a prickly name, yeah,
down in these waters nearbaltimore, but you see these,

(11:17):
does that inspire?
Let me ask you this, ericanything?

Eric (11:22):
no, I'll tell you what you know.
You know what I'll tell you.
That doesn't get from thislighthouse keeper, doesn't get a
hark.
I don't hark to that, captain I, I do not harken to that one
fucking bit.
Now.
If, like, if I say I'm like, ohuh, that man, I won't even yell
out about that one, I'll justlike call somebody like hey

(11:43):
there.
But if I see over the horizon,matthew yeah, if I see like a
fucking, like a siren, with atrident in one hand and like a
mist parts oh my god and what'sthis?

Matt (11:57):
oh, let me get my binocs and take a look out there across
the waves.

Eric (12:01):
Get my 1800s telescope.

Matt (12:04):
A little periscope, pull it out Spyglass, spyglass in it,
spyglass it up, and what do Isee?
What doth my eyes reveal to me?
A beautiful carved image, anartist's representation of a
beast.

Eric (12:22):
Wrought by the hands of man, folly though they be An
angel, arm outstretched.

Matt (12:28):
And oh, what's that?
As it comes into view, who'sthat standing with one foot up
on the railing at the bow of theship?
Why isn't that not the captain?
Captain?

Eric (12:39):
Matt Shea.

Matt (12:40):
Captain Shea riding on that, the USS Captain Shay
riding on that.

Eric (12:47):
The USS, the fucking fist of Poseidon.

Matt (12:51):
The fist of Poseidon coming into port Come on Hark.

Eric (12:58):
That gets a heart.
Captain Shay is here.
That gets a heart that guy I'msaving, I'm saving them from the
cliffs.

Matt (13:04):
And listen.
I'm sure there might be somereasons I'm no Navy man, they're
all dumb ones.

Eric (13:10):
They're all dumb ones.
I've seen what our country paysfor military hardware.
We can spring for a figurehead.

Matt (13:19):
The USS Constellation, the USS Constitution, the USS
Dwight D Eisenhower?
Whatever happened to the QueenAnne's revenge?
Oh my God.

Eric (13:35):
What happened to the fucking, the Flying Dutchman,
the Flying?

Matt (13:40):
Dutchman.
I don't even know what thatmeans.
No one needs to, didn't need to, badass figurehead.
Here comes Captain Shay andwhat's that he's riding?
Ah yes, it's the naked cowboy.
There we go.
There it is.
What could be more Americanthan that?
The famous person who used tobe in Times Square.

(14:02):
I don't know if he's stillthere anymore.

Eric (14:04):
So, to answer your question, the reason we don't
have figureheads anymore boilsbasically down to fiscal
mismanagement and weakness.

Matt (14:14):
Oh weakness.

Eric (14:15):
you say Weakness.
We have become a cowardly lotBecause if a boat has a
figurehead and maybe I'm maybe,maybe this is crazy talk I feel
like if a boat has figurehead,that boat has capital p purpose
now in the decline in use.

Matt (14:35):
Section of the figurehead.
Object wikipedia article donatetoday.
Donate today to wikipedia, um,not to just figure heads.
Figure heads as such died outwith the military sailing ship.
In addition, the vogue forramboats meant that there was no
obvious place to mount one onbattleships.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The battleship doesn't evenlike at.

(14:57):
The modern battleship doesn'teven need to to to conform to
the same like ship shape as oldsailing ships.

Eric (15:06):
You can put it fucking anywhere you put it fucking
anywhere, you just have afucking statue.

Matt (15:11):
No shit just put it, yes, put it under what should be the
crow's nest.
We don't have any one of thoseanymore either.
Oh my god, that'd be so tight.
Just fucking hang it.

Eric (15:20):
Just put it you have the money, you have.

Matt (15:23):
You have engineers we can make them retractable, surely
you?

Eric (15:28):
have engineers capable of building ships taught longer
than the empire.
State building is tall andyou're telling me you can't
figure out where to slap abadass statue on that and think
about this, what I just said,the retractable figurehead.

Matt (15:45):
So okay, so it can't get into modern docks or whatever
with them.
I don't believe that for asecond.
But fine, let's say that's true.
Let's say you just whoop, whoop, you retract it, you put it
inside.
And what if, Eric, our Navyships only deployed their
figureheads when they were goinginto fucking battle, Metal as

(16:09):
fuck.
When it's like, oh, what's that?

Eric (16:11):
A spy submarine Put out the submergible figurehead that
says here I come, bitch Twomiddle fingers off the fucking
prowl.

Matt (16:22):
They just curve out through the waves.

Eric (16:28):
Just two big birds and this has pivoted, very lovely,
into my, my, my sort offollow-up question within this
question modern figureheads.
What are we thinking?

Matt (16:39):
because in the past they were, like often, gods, or or
gods straight up, women, dames,dames, if you will, I'm looking
at pictures of horses and andshields.
Seem to be a big one.

Eric (16:54):
Yes, a lot of shields, a big old eagle, birds, of course
yep, can I just off the dome,one that just popped into my
head like, of course you may andthis figurehead belongs on any
american vessel, military orotherwise.
Uh, dolly parton, dolly part,dolly parton would make the best

(17:17):
fucking figurehead for a ship.
I agree with you.
Bigfoot, bigfoot, oh my god, oh, oh my god.
Cryptids as figureheads.
Cryptids as figureheads.

Matt (17:26):
The uss mothman are you, oh my god, the uss mothman with
glowing red eyes, because we canautomate shit now, dog?

Eric (17:35):
dog.
Here's what we do remember, howwe have all these boats named
after states and shit yeah stateboat.
You get a cryptid from thatstate as the figure, as the
figurehead.

Matt (17:44):
So the west virginia gets the mothman and listen.
If you want to keep the dwightd eisenhower, the the uss, uh,
barack obama even, or whatever,yeah, if you're gonna do that,
that's the figurehead, baby, andthey gotta be buff as shit oh
my god, buff ass barry.
Oh, want a buff ass barriocoming out there.

Eric (18:06):
Two swords, two fucking swords, two swords one down, one
up wearing a pair of aviators,fucking just getting ready to
wreck shit, we have it.

Matt (18:19):
We just have a cowboy come up with a lasso like an
outstretched lasso.

Eric (18:24):
Oh my God.
And like I said, it can beautomated.

Matt (18:28):
His wrists just constantly twirl in a chain.
We can do this.

Eric (18:33):
We can do this.
We can have these nice things.
We can have figureheads withweaponry.
If you're not going to pay forour schools, at least give me
something badass on the front ofour ships.

Matt (18:44):
If we're gonna launch missiles, they should come out
of a figurehead's mouth.

Eric (18:49):
Yes.

Matt (18:51):
Yes, out it comes, the mothman just fired a nuke.

Eric (19:01):
Come on the figurehead.
Johnny Unitas throws themissile like a football.

Matt (19:06):
If we're yeah, it's like a shot put.
Yeah, if we're gonna have amilitary industrial complex,
let's have some fun with itlet's get some.

Eric (19:17):
If we're gonna have a military industrial complex,
let's have some militaryindustrial complexity okay thank
you, thank you, and then we canhave.

Matt (19:26):
But you know, we went very pro-military, we went for
private vessels too.
Oh yeah, we can get back intoit.
Private vessels, oh my godthere's nothing stopping them
nothing.
Stopping them, just throw oneon there toss it on you're gonna
have these mega yachts.
Put a god damn figurehead onthere.

Eric (19:44):
If you bought a boat, you mother, put your spouse as the
figurehead.
Eric, you said it yeah, yousaid it.

Matt (19:52):
Yeah, enough of this naming your boat after your
special friend put their messageyou committed.

Eric (19:59):
Make them your fucking figurehead.
Get you a man that make carvesa figurehead of your visage.

Matt (20:05):
Ladies, get you a man who makes you a boat object.
Wait, wait, hold on.

Eric (20:12):
Only kind of objectification we approve of on
this show.
That's right.

Matt (20:17):
Make someone, pick a man who makes you a goddess.

Eric (20:20):
Ladies, do not get out of bed for anything less than
anything less than an oceangoing man, who will?

Matt (20:30):
who?
Who's got a, a scruffy face anda chip on his shoulder and a
figurehead of you on hisglorious boat, the ussu.
That's just that.
That is.
That's the name of the boat,and he keeps it clean.
Every day.
He gets out there with atoothbrush oh my god and cleans

(20:51):
the barnacles off your hair?

Eric (20:53):
I don't think strong hands .

Matt (20:54):
Don't think a toothbrush is a useful tool for cleaning
barnacles but it sends a message, but it prevents them.

Eric (21:02):
Uh, I, I I'll also add this, just a slight pivot If
we're bringing back figureheads,let's also bring back and again
, this is irrespective ofmilitary anything I just think
we should bring back Can we sayit together.

Matt (21:16):
I want to think we're going to say the same thing.

Eric (21:18):
Okay, I'm just trying in my head to figure out how we're
going to say this.

Matt (21:22):
How different, okay no, then we're not, then we're not
going.

Eric (21:26):
You say yours, I got another one bring back drawing
people pinup style on the sideof vehicles oh jesus, that was
not at all.
I was gonna say sea shanties oh, oh, buddy, see, did you miss
covid sea shanties been?

Matt (21:40):
no, no, I know sea shanties been back, but they've
been back in tick tock land aslike a sea shanties, aren't they
fun?
I want, if you're out boating,I want to be passing a crew
seeing in a sea shanty and notjust chugging Coors Light.

Eric (21:58):
No, absolutely.
I want to find the NorthwestPassage for just one time.
I would take the Northwest.

Matt (22:04):
Passage For just one time.

Eric (22:06):
I would take the Northwest Passage.
But yeah, I want to bring backlike ladies you want to bring
back ladies, no, no, the ladieshave been here the whole time
and with the patience of saintsfor all of us, other fuck-ups.
Yeah, ladies, don't get out ofbed for a man who won't paint
you on the side of his van likeit's a b2 bomber that's right

(22:30):
and, honestly, you don't like.
This is also gender irrespective.
Everyone should be posing likepinup models on the sides of
various vehicles.
I would give any amount ofmoney to see like matt shea
painted on the side of drlindsey barr's car that's right.

Matt (22:47):
That's right and, if any, if you get out of bed for this
man and he shows you his dopeass van that he's painted you on
the side of and you say I don'tlike that, that's, I don't want
that out there, and he doesn'tturn around and set that vehicle
on fire, drop him.
Fuck him too.

Eric (23:07):
Drop him drop him drop him because you gotta have the
buy-in the.

Matt (23:12):
The ones who matter don't mind, and the ones who mind
don't matter, that's right, andif you don't want your visage on
the side of a fucking hondaodyssey, then fucking it won't
be there.
Yeah, and that's a promisethat's.

Eric (23:24):
That's a goddamn promise.
It's a promise from me to you.
So, in short, boys, get yourshit together, carve wooden
statues of your partners andslap them on the fronts of ships
, and everyone just like fuckinglet, let's, let's just paint
each other on the side ofbombers, that's right, and it

(23:46):
doesn't need to be your specialromantic partners.

Matt (23:48):
No, grab, grab, eric, I'd make a figurehead of you I'd
make a figurehead of you,matthew yeah, and you make you
look badass and I, I'll make youeight, eight feet tall, nine,
god damn, do you know myfigurehead of you?

Eric (24:04):
a detail that would be required is you would.
Whatever your arms are doing,it just almost doesn't matter.
All that matters is that yourmouth is open and your tongue is
out.
You're like a fucking.

Matt (24:17):
Because I need that venom tongue that's like curvy, you
know yes.

Eric (24:21):
Matt has a fucking superhumanly long tongue.
That's true, it is nuts, it'slengthy and I need that.
I need everyone to know thatit's lengthy and it's muscular
yeah the month.

Matt (24:36):
They say the tongue is the most powerful muscle in your
body, and it certainly isn'tmine.
I can lick my elbow sick.
You know how they say that'sphysically impossible yeah, not
me.

Eric (24:48):
Do it right now.
Do it right now.

Matt (24:50):
All right, he's rolling up his sleeve in my in my age,
eric, it does take a little bitof a stretch it does.

Eric (24:57):
No, no, I believe, bro, you take all the prep you need.
Yeah, he's doing it, he's doing, and there he goes.

Matt (25:04):
Tongue is on elbow confirmed it does it is a bit of
a strain in my 30s to keep itup, to keep up my cafeteria
stunt from sixth grade, but Ican't.
I still have it.
I still have the physicality.
Yeah, I've lost.
I've lost a lot of the physicalcapabilities.
I used to have her herniateddisc and whatnot, but I can

(25:27):
still lick my fucking elbow.

Eric (25:30):
On days when Matt wakes up struggling, he sits on the edge
of his bed, he licks his elbowand says I still got it, you
still got it, shay, get on upthere, Slap myself in the face
and go.

Matt (25:42):
all right, let's do this.

Eric (25:44):
Let's lick this elbow.
Let's get the.
Let's lick this elbow.

Matt (25:45):
Let's lick this elbow and get on the mic.

Eric (25:48):
Oh man yeah, Uh, so Mike thanks so much for the question.

Matt (25:57):
Thank you, mike.
Mike, I hope we uh.
The question in fact was whydon't we and we, I think,
covered that a long time ago.
I hit that pretty early on andthen we just moved right on to
what the modern how to bring itback.

Eric (26:14):
Yeah, yeah.
So thank you for the question.
Yeah, our next question.

Matt (26:18):
Yes, this comes from our good friends on the Against All
Oddities podcast From Tim FromTim, specifically from our good
friends on the against alloddities podcast from tim's from
tim specifically, specificallybecause we got this question on
our discord now.
Wait a minute, eric our discord.
How can people reach thediscord?

Eric (26:34):
oh uh.
Well, you reach our discord bygoing to patreon searching you
didn't ask for this and bysubscribing to either tier are
either our one dollar tier,which gets you discord access,
or our four dollar tier, whichgets you discord access, gets
you bonus episodes once a monthand gets you 20 off of our

(26:56):
future merchandise yes, which weare, uh, which we are in the
planning stages of right thisvery minute, um and uh, you
don't even need to search for it.

Matt (27:05):
Patreoncom slash.
You didn't ask for this, or hey?
Just hit up that episodedescription.
It's right there.

Eric (27:11):
So that's who asked the question that I'm about to read.
Tim asked are there non-foodrelated knuckle tattoos that are
better than the food ones?
And Matt, I want to go aheadand we're gonna.
We're gonna kind of do what wesometimes need to.
Let's talk about the question.
Let's talk about let's talkabout the question.

Matt (27:33):
We got to break it down a bit are there.

Eric (27:36):
So we're, we're in a mindset of supposing the
existence of sure non-foodrelated knuckle tattoos now this
implies.

Matt (27:46):
The big implication here is that most knuckle tattoos are
food based which is like which,legitimately, tim fucked me up
for a minute.
That are better than the foodones is the tail end of the
question, which also impliesthat the food ones are the best
ones.
Are unassailable.

Eric (28:05):
Yeah, yeah, untouchable.

Matt (28:08):
The implication here is can anything top the food, eric?
Can you think of food knuckletattoos?

Eric (28:16):
Hold on food, good food, good oh food good food, good,
all right, I'm right on theknuckle tat doing a quick search
for food knuckle tattoos now.

Matt (28:30):
Um, okay, so I've got one here for chef.

Eric (28:34):
Got one chef, life chef did they spell it with a y or an
I?

Matt (28:39):
here's one who has in order ice cream cone, lollipop,
pumpkin, jack-o'-lanternactually a slice of pizza, a
cupcake, jack skellington, adonut and a crescent moon, I'm
also seeing a similar.

Eric (28:57):
I'm seeing what appears to be uh oh slice of toast.
Uh, a cartoonish like likeyou'd see in the old looney
tunes, like a ham on a bone.

Matt (29:07):
Uh, a cartoonish wedge of cheese with holes in it, and
another slice of bread got onehere, ham, and cheese sandwich
got one here that says diet cokegot another one that says got
another one that just sayssriracha across the I'm not

(29:28):
gonna lie, it's pretty fuckingsick all right.
Oh god, this one's crazy it.
These are logos.
Okay, in order mcdonald's,burger king, kfc, dq, pizza hut,
taco bell, wendy's and,unfortunately, chick-fil-a.

Eric (29:45):
Uh here's my favorite one so far just root beer oh, I
think we're looking at the sameimage there.

Matt (29:51):
I got that one on my google images as well.
Love that where did the foodcraze of knuckle tattoos?

Eric (29:58):
come from, probably mostly from people who work in
kitchens.
I would think it have to bewith having had a good number of
friends, uh, and someone wholives with me who has, like,
worked extensively in foodservice.
Yeah, food service is kind oflike they're you either worked
in food service for like acouple of years in your early

(30:19):
20s or you never got out, and itis somewhat of a cult I say why
stop at at just the likeprimary knuckles, get that lower
knuckles to make.

Matt (30:31):
Make your fists into a codex oh, hell yeah, just give
him.

Eric (30:35):
Hit him with a, almost like a.
Make your hands like reversewu-tang yeah, just so you can.

Matt (30:42):
If you interlock it it has a different message.
If you put them fists first orfists up, two different messages
there and you can rearrangethem like it.
Like it's some sort of uh wordscramble oh, okay, so, so that.

Eric (30:58):
So, now that we've talked about the question I think we
moved right into it.
Let's discuss Non-food relatedknuckle tattoos that are better
than the food ones.
Okay, well, word scramble.

Matt (31:11):
Word scramble.

Eric (31:12):
Word scramble is definitely in there.

Matt (31:13):
Make it a riddle, make it a riddle, make it a maze.
Make it a maze that you have tomove your hands around for them
to continue to trace, just, andyou have to have a obviously
like a ballpoint pen on you atall times so you can just hand
it to someone oh my god, it'slike the maze runner, but you're
trying yeah, and you're justlike moving around it's, so I'm

(31:36):
just picturing this interactionso intimate, yeah very you start
letting someone trace the mazethat you have tattooed around
your fingies.
You guys are.
You guys are banging on a table.

Eric (31:50):
No doubt about it is no, you never had a chance, never
had a chance you twostar-crossed lovers I and you
know.
The funny thing is, I don'tknow if I've ever mentioned this
to you.
I actually do.
I want knuckle tattoos I want alot of tattoos, but I I don't

(32:11):
have them because of theaforementioned.

Matt (32:14):
Being an actor and I know that and it's work you gotta
cover them up yeah, that's thething is.

Eric (32:21):
Every time I mention this, I was like, oh yeah, I don't
get them because you know I'mI'm an actor and they're like,
oh well, you can cover it.
I was like, yeah, I'm aware ofthe existence of cover-up.
I am a lazy person.

Matt (32:34):
Yes, that is way too.
I, yeah, I mean I have beenvery anti-tattoo my whole life
and just to clarify, I'm talkingabout for me, my, my own person
.
Yeah, um, when single carrotdied, some people uh in the
company got carrot tattoos and Iwas at the time, very motivated

(32:55):
to to do it and I, I, I, I cameclose, I, and by came close, I
mean it's the first time I everconsidered getting a tattoo.
And I've since I don't think Iwill at this point, I could
still.
It's something you can pull thetrigger on whatever.

Eric (33:12):
I'm going to be sending you a folk punk playlist later
tonight, so there's hope for youyet.

Matt (33:17):
Eric, if we're starting to send each other music, I'll
play along.
I'll send you some playlists.
Okay, but, eric, if you'regonna send me some of this
screamo stuff, you can't no, no,no, that's what folk punk dog,
you're gonna love it all right,you're gonna love it.
I'll, I will never mosh, unlessof course, you come up with the

(33:39):
money.

Eric (33:41):
Friendly reminder that Matt Shea will only enter a mosh
pit if I give him one thousandUS dollars.

Matt (33:48):
If you pay me a thousand dollars, and I believe it was
for five minutes- For fiveminutes.

Eric (33:53):
What a five minutes they will be.
You better hope they are.
This is also.
We're also thinking like you.
We touched on this with theearlier food tattoo discussion,
but it doesn't have to beletters across your knuckles.
It can be a maze, it can befood items, but we're talking
non-related food knuckle tattoos.

(34:15):
I know for a Mississippi minutein the early 2010s, the fucking
mustache on the finger was avery popular tattoo.
I'm sure no one regrets that.
I wonder what has?
In today's day and age?
What has the higher rate oftattoo removal?
Is it the finger mustaches orall the people who got the

(34:37):
Deathly Hallows tattooed ontheir body.

Matt (34:39):
Yeah, I reckon a good amount of those are coming off
these days.
I'm just I'm just lookingthrough some.
Here's one that's like anextension of a full sleeve, that
like the art of the sleeve, thearm sleeve that stretches into

(34:59):
the fingers that's pretty cool.
That's a fucking commitment Imean, if you're gonna do it.
Oh, here's somebody who has thetriangle, circle x and square
of the playstation controllerI'm sure that'll never be
regretted yeah, sure, that'ssomething.
That's something.
This is one that was shared inthe discord with the question
somebody has fuck worm fuck worm.

Eric (35:23):
I remember fuck worm, now fuck worm, I think, is because
so far matt, everything we'vebeen describing, I feel, has yet
to surmount the insurmountablefood tattoos but fuck worm.

Matt (35:35):
Oh, this is interesting.
This is like low-key badass,we've got good luck.
Okay, that's interesting.
I mean, oh, here's.
Oh, this is actually prettycool.
I'm looking at one here.
It's a stag on the middlefinger is the head of the stag
of, like the deer, and then theantlers, like spread out into

(35:56):
the palm onto the hand.
That's pretty cool.
That's pretty cool okay and sothat so technically only one
knuckle tattoo there yeah, buthey well, I guess it could, I
guess these, these guys areknuckles up here too, so those,
those count technically stillknuckle tattoos okay, here, let
me, let me hit you with this.

Eric (36:16):
What if someone got uh, I think I saw this too this, this,
this is, this is.
This is my favorite K?
N U C.
One hand K L E S on the other,hmm.

Matt (36:29):
So it's a it's a little on the nose Bop, bop, bop bop, bop
, bop.

Eric (36:34):
Uh, I would appreciate if someone got a comic book on a
monopia on their knuckles likebam and boff.
Oh, that's cool yeah yeah,that's cool.

Matt (36:46):
Biff, biff that was always my fit biff.

Eric (36:47):
Yeah, that'd be fun, I mean, if you're somebody who's
throwing punches and also likesa good bit that's a good choice
for you, and if you're gonna doa bit on your knuckles, make
sure it's a guaranteed winnerevery time because like you want
somebody who right before thatfist hits their face, they get a

(37:07):
good look at Kapow.

Matt (37:11):
It doesn't quite fit, but you know.
They're shoved together alittle bit.
But they have to think for asecond and be like what does
that say?
Bam In the face?
It slows their reaction timeyeah, yeah, throws them off
throws them off balance.
Uh, here's one that's likeflames.
Fine, meh, fuck, fuck anything.

(37:34):
Uh, it can work, you know, fuck.
And then something else on theother.

Eric (37:37):
God's gift Okay.

Matt (37:40):
Ugh, no, no, thanks, time Lord All right.

Eric (37:46):
Oh, okay.

Matt (37:47):
All right.

Eric (37:47):
All right, I see you.

Matt (37:48):
Oh, we got dates 1975.
You can do that with just aboutanything.
Last Call.

Eric (37:56):
Last Call's pretty badass, but again we're falling into
the trap of mostly spellingthings out, and with last call
we've we've actually stumbledright back into food related
tattoos that's true.

Matt (38:10):
That's true.
Came full circle damn.

Eric (38:12):
If anything, this question's just highlighting to
me that, like food, food,knuckle tattoos seem to be the
move but I also think thespelling is a little overdone.

Matt (38:23):
I I'm liking the everything that we've said, that
I've been like oh, this is coolthe stag and the sleeve
extending.
It's all been cartoonish hambone, the cartoonish hand.

Eric (38:33):
It's all been imagery rather than letters so if you
were going to get some imageryacross your knuckles matt, what
would you get?

Matt (38:40):
well, I, I wouldn't.
First of all, uh, but if youdid, looking at my knuckles here
trying to come up withsomething good.
Maybe trees turn my turn.
My whole fingies into treeswell, fingies into trees?

Eric (38:54):
yeah, they're like the root.

Matt (38:55):
Oh, they're like the roots , they're like I love that.

Eric (38:58):
I, I personally love that because that's that's my plan
for tattoo.
I just want to just right offthe dome that's fucking
brilliant.
I would get little silhouettes.
So this would actually requireme to incorporate the thumbs, or
at least one of them, onefinger per each member of the

(39:18):
fellowship of the ring.
Oh, yeah sure and you're goingpoach.
Well, you have 10 fingers and afellowship is nine people.
How do you even square this?
And I go.
The 10th space is for noneother than bill the pony.

Matt (39:34):
Oh, pour one out for my boy bill pour one out, indeed
for your boy bill.
Yeah, those are some good.
I think we've come up with somegood suggestions there.

Eric (39:46):
Yeah, I, I would.
I would leave it to tim todecide if we have come up with
anything that's better than foodtattoos, I mean tim and indeed
our audience.

Matt (39:56):
Yes, well, eric.
Um, I think, if you think we'veanswered the question, we can
slide right on into a closingsegment.
Oh my God.

Eric (40:05):
Test me, test me.

Matt (40:07):
Okay, Now, Eric, it is pop quiz time.
It is pop quiz time.
We do call it a pop quiz.
However, I'm saying I pickedthis pop quiz in general because
I think it falls into the canonof you didn't ask for this.
Here's some information theaudience didn't ask for.

Eric (40:27):
I'm not sure you'll necessarily get these right but
you may, okay, if I'mremembering correctly, the first
pop quiz ever was you quizzingme about birds, birds, and then
I quizzed you on spells from D&D.

Matt (40:41):
Yes, in the very last episode, actually Our most
previous episode, and now andnow we're going to call this
yeah, what's a cute name We'llcall it Real Estate Rumble.
Dope Real Estate Rumble.

Eric (40:57):
Sick.

Matt (40:59):
Okay, eric, I've got some specs on several different
celebrity homes.
Okay, I'm gonna give you thespecs, I'm gonna give you some
data about the house and, if youare interested, I I even pulled
up some imagery, if you wouldlike to see, okay, okay and then
you're gonna guess thehomeowner oh, I'm just.

Eric (41:21):
This isn't like a binary.
Yes, no, this is a.
I got a.
Well that's what I mean.
That's what I mean School's insession.

Matt (41:28):
School's in session.
You're going to learn somethingtoday, eric.
It's more of.
I'm presenting the information,and before I tell you who it is
, you get to put in a suggestion.

Eric (41:38):
I'm like I'm going to.
I'm like I'm going to.
I'm like I'm being asked toknow things.
I'm going to get my knuckletattoos say fuck book.

Matt (41:45):
So do you do you want to also take a look for your own
benefit, of course, audio medium.
Would you like to see the housein question?

Eric (41:51):
Oh yeah.

Matt (41:52):
Okay, all right.
So we got this first house here.
Now this house it's.
It's very I'll describe it forthe listeners as well From the
view, from the bird's eye.
It's very wooded, it's veryexpansive.
We got some like orange lookingwood as the exterior.

Eric (42:09):
Got like a very kind of yeah, like almost like a ranchy
kind of feel, but in the woods.

Matt (42:14):
But in the woods.
We'll point out.
There's a dock down here in thelower corner, so it is against
water.
Now this has a nickname.
This is.
I don't believe this name waschosen by the homeowner, but the
nickname is Xanadu 2.0.
Xanadu, of course, beingCitizen Kane's famous mansion

(42:39):
for all you out there.
So I've got name, I've got thelocation, I've got the plot,
I've got the size of the house,the spaceage, bed, baths,
approximate value and then someamenities.
That's what I'm going to giveyou for each of these properties
.

Eric (42:54):
Fuck yeah dawg.

Matt (42:55):
All right, so Xanadu 2.0, that's the name it's located in.
It's located I don't know whyit's said that way Medina
Washington.

Eric (43:04):
Okay.

Matt (43:05):
Okay, the plot is a quote large parcel of land and it is
that, because the homeowner alsoowns the surrounding properties
, got it.
The house in question size isabout 66,000 square feet, nice.

(43:25):
It features seven bedrooms and24 bathrooms.
Sick.
Okay.
The approximate value and Iwill say I'm starting this out a
little bit easy.
I'm not saying that it goeseasy to hard, I'm just saying I
started it in what I feel is aneasy one.
Approximate value $147.5million, dear Lord.

(43:59):
Here are some amenities of thisplace, eric.
It's got a 60 made out oftrampolines.
It has a reception hall thatcan fit 200 people, god damn.
It's got a 23 car garage and apry and, my personal favorite,
it's got a private lakesidebeach comprised entirely of

(44:22):
imported caribbean sand oh, it'sprobably like the pink sand, so
uh, so that's what I got foryou, eric.

Eric (44:31):
Those are the specs on this first house okay, and and
here's a follow-up question withbecause these are all houses of
famous people I know I knowthese people, you know each of
these people, not personally Idon't think.
When was the house built?

Matt (44:49):
I don't always have that information.
I have it on a couple of these.
This house was builtspecifically by the homeowner
and I believe it was built inthe mid-90s.
But let me get an exact thingfor you on my other screen here,
the the lot was purchased in1988.

Eric (45:11):
okay, so construction began in 1980 yeah, so big ass,
lots of cars room.
Obviously, this person plannedon hosting a lot of fucking
parties.

Matt (45:26):
Again $147.5 million.
So it's a pricey fucking house.

Eric (45:32):
I, oh man.
What keeps locking in my headis that people keep calling it
the Xanadu, whatever.

Matt (45:41):
Yes, I will say this, eric .
I'll give you another hint.
Yeah, there were two people wholived in this house with their
children.
Those children are adults andthe couple itself divorced.

Eric (45:55):
I'm going to say Tim Allen .
Final answer.

Matt (45:57):
Tim Allen.
Incorrect, Eric.
This is the house of Bill Gates.

Eric (46:02):
This is Bill Gates' house.

Matt (46:05):
Bill Gates.

Eric (46:06):
Yeah, so I tried to I don't know why I imagined Bill
Gates' house being so muchblockier.

Matt (46:14):
Yeah, well, he's a stylish man.
What can I say?

Eric (46:18):
Yeah, that's the house.
I also remember reading aboutthis.

Matt (46:30):
I think that's the house where they have the art set up
on the walls or like digitalscreens, and the art will change
depending on who's in the room.
That's the name of the article,if you want to look into it a
little bit more.
Now let me go down to our nextone.

Eric (46:43):
Okay.

Matt (46:44):
Now, Eric, I know there are multiple houses in this
picture.
I think you know which one I'mtalking about.

Eric (46:48):
The one with not one but two.
Not two, but what appear to be,oh yeah, yeah, two private jets
.

Matt (46:55):
There's three.
There's three.

Eric (46:57):
Okay, that is a third jet.

Matt (46:59):
Yeah, there are three.
Um, yes, let's talk about this.
The name of this residence isthe jumbo lair aviation estates
jumbo lair jumbo, lair lair yes,jumbo lair aviation estates.
okay, and I never know how topronounce this word.
Is it ocala, florida, ocala, oh, c-a-l-a.

(47:26):
Florida, ocala, ocala, florida.
You can um, you can correct meif, and only if, you're a
democrat.
Uh, the plot size is is 550acres?
That's a lot of acreage.
The size of the house 7,600square feet.

(47:48):
Okay, so considerable drop-offfrom our last house.
Yeah, it's got five bedrooms,10 bathrooms and, intriguingly,
14 half-baths.
That, okay, it's a lot oftoilets.
It is approximately thehomeowner has been here for
quite some time.
It's approximately valued at$10 million.

(48:10):
Okay, nice.
It's got some amenities.
Let's talk about them.

Eric (48:14):
It's got a pool.
Tell me about the amenitiesbefore I pull the trigger on
this.

Matt (48:16):
It's got a pool.
It's got a large garden in thefront of it.
You can see it right there,large garden in the front of it.
You can see it right there.
Yeah, it's got an 8700 squarefoot uh conference center, which
is not part of the actual housebut is like attached to it
there.
Okay, uh, it's got, as youmight have already noticed, a
private airport, yeah, with a36600 foot runway and not one,

(48:42):
but two hangars, one of whichallows the pilot of the full ass
jet not just a private plane,but a jet to exit the aircraft
directly onto the front porch ofthe house.
Tight, that's what I got foryou, eric.
I have to ask who owns thishome?
Oh my God, what do you thinkcould possibly be behind Jumbo

(49:05):
Lair Aviation Estate?
Jumbo Lair, jumbo Lair one wordJ-U Jumbo.

Eric (49:11):
Lair.

Matt (49:12):
Jumbo Lair.

Eric (49:14):
Wait, is it spelled like Jumbolaya, but with layer?

Matt (49:17):
J-U-M-B-O-L-A-I-R Jumbo Lair Aviation Estates it sounds
evil.

Eric (49:26):
It does Tim Allen finally.
No, Let me.
No, no, no.

Matt (49:31):
I'm just going to have to look up Tim Allen's house by the
end of this.
I guess Jimmy Buffett JimmyBuffett, Eric, no, the late
great Jimmy Buffett does not ownthis house.
Dang, this house for many adecade now belongs to John
Travolta.
Oh, this is.
John Travolta's house, johnnyTro.

(49:52):
He's got his own privateairport with a couple of jets
three of them in this photoanyway.
Yeah, that's John Travolta'shouse.
He's got a runway down there inFlorida.

Eric (50:01):
He's got a nice-ass house.
He's got a runway down there inFlorida.

Matt (50:03):
He's got a nice ass house.
Yes, he does.
Yes, he does.
Now, eric, I thought we'd go alittle bit more modest this next
one.
Okay, all right, take a look atthis house.
Oh, look at that.
Take a look at this house.
Describe for me what you'reseeing here.

Eric (50:14):
It looks just like a house .

Matt (50:17):
And we on Travolta's house , but it is also.
It looks like an airport, itlooks like a little airport.
This just looks like a mid, nota Midwestern, sorry, a
Southwestern sort of like dryarea, sort of like two-story
rancher with like you saw somany versions of this house in
Breaking Bad.

Eric (50:37):
Yes, yes, it looks like just a standard house with a
garage.
And it looks like just astandard house with a garage and
it looks like a nice house tobe sure, a very nice house, but
it's like just a house.

Matt (50:52):
Okay, eric, it doesn't have a name.
It doesn't have a special name,doesn't need one, doesn't need
one.
It's located in the HollywoodHills of Los Angeles, california
, okay, in the hollywood hillsof los angeles, california, okay
.
Um, the plot and the space, Ithink will give you some some
idea of just how, like sort ofquote unquote, regular housey,
this is, uh, 1.5 acre lot, okay,2 725 square feet perfectly

(51:19):
modest.
It's er to give you a littlecomparison.
That's pretty much on par withmy house.

Eric (51:25):
Yeah, also give you.
One and a half acres is theminimum amount of acreage you
need in Anne Arundel County tobe able to own chickens.

Matt (51:32):
There you go.
It's got three bed, three and ahalf bath.
Okay, three bed, three and ahalf bath.
Again, hollywood Hills Okay,keep that in mind.
7.65 million is what it waspurchased for at its last
selling or its last sale.
And when was that last sale?
I believe it was in 2023.

Eric (51:53):
Okay.

Matt (51:55):
Damn.
I believe I could be wrong.

Eric (51:57):
Someone ridiculously wealthy owns this, Like this is
going to be be someone likethat's where they live this is
the cheapest house we've talkedabout so far yeah ah, oh,
amenities let me give you someamenities please, eric, I don't
have too many for you here andthey're not too unusual.

Matt (52:15):
It's got a pool, okay, got a large front garden.
You can kind of see it walledin there.
Yeah, um, uh, outdoor fireplaceon the patio.
Those are the things that Ifound to be noteworthy.
If I were putting the Zillowlisting together, yeah, damn,
I'm going to guess Multiplebalconies.

Eric (52:37):
I'm going to guess.
I think that I'm going to guessSteven Spielberg, steven
Spielberg.

Matt (52:43):
Steven Spielberg.
That's my guess Interesting.
You are in the right ballparkwith a film person.
Okay, this is RobertPattinson's house.

Eric (52:54):
Nice, nice, robert Pattinson.

Matt (53:06):
He actually downgraded recently from a large mansion to
a more humble, uh, humble, uhthing.
And I say that because this I Idon't reckon that 7.65 million
is uh all that expensive for thefucking hollywood hills yeah,
yeah, no that that god there'ssome fucking houses up in there
okay, good on you, robertpatents, slumming it up with the
rest of us 7.5 million propertyowners, all right, let me.
Let me show you this guy here,eric that's now that tell me

(53:29):
what you see that is a.

Eric (53:30):
That is a fucking big, motherfucking house on top of a
hill.

Matt (53:37):
Big motherfucking house on a hill, it's all white looks
like it's oceanside maybe itlooks like it could be oceanside
.
It's got massive chimneys onmassive chimneys yes, a lot of
land um overlooks thesurrounding countryside.

Eric (53:51):
Like that is, like that's where yes, it does it's where,
like the, the lord of the of thelands, funny.

Matt (53:57):
You should say that, eric, specifically um this, this
house has a name.
Its name is High Watch.
That's badass.
It is located in Westerly RhodeIsland.
It is specifically located on ahistoric hill by the name of
Watch Hill, which was used as alookout during the Seven Years

(54:19):
and the American Revolution.
The house, however, was builtin 1929.
I will tell you, eric, this isnot the homeowner's primary
residence, of which they owneight, okay, but it is their
primary vacation home.

Eric (54:37):
Okay.

Matt (54:39):
The plot is five acres.

Eric (54:41):
It's got five acres of land and they use every goddamn
acre for that house.

Matt (54:45):
The house itself is 11,000 square feet.
That is nuts.
It has eight beds and ten and ahalf baths.

Eric (54:53):
Okay, I love the face you made.
As you said, baths, baths.

Matt (54:59):
It sold in 2013.
It was purchased by the currenthomeowner in 2013.

Eric (55:05):
And that's who I'm guessing.

Matt (55:06):
That's who you're guessing .
Okay, For $17,750,000, but it'slikely worth way more now, both
because of the association ofthe current homeowner, its
historical significance and thefamous song written about it.

Eric (55:23):
Is all along the watchtower about this house.

Matt (55:26):
It is not all along the watchtower, Damn that would have
been cool.

Eric (55:33):
Okay, so this house was already famous and then got
bought by someone that made iteven more famous.

Matt (55:39):
Correct, and I will also add to you, eric, and this is
indeed what the song is about.
It was a bit controversial thatthe person in question
purchased the house in the firstplace.

Eric (55:50):
Okay, so I'm assuming.
I feel like it's fair to saythe person who owns this house
is music related.

Matt (56:00):
That is fair to say.
And I forgot.
I didn't get to the amenities,oh give me this amenities, baby,
it's got a private 700 footbeach.
Nice, a 36 foot parlor and a 45foot sunroom, and other than
that it's a big ass.
Nice house wrapped in mystery.
And it's old, 1929.
It's old, 1929.

(56:20):
And it's old, it's been around,it's been there, it's a
historic house.

Eric (56:24):
So I'm man, so there's so many directions.
So it was controversial that itwas purchased by this person In
some circles.
In some circles.
I'm you know what I'm going toguess off the dome.
When did this famous person buythe house?

Matt (56:43):
2013.

Eric (56:44):
2013.
I off the dome.
When?
When did this famous person buythe house?
2013, 2013?
I'm gonna guess.
Oh man, there's so many.
There's so many.

Matt (56:51):
That's what I'm saying I don't really expect necessarily.
You can, you can get these offof real estate, but I have two,
why?

Eric (56:58):
like guesses that are on wildly different ends of the
spectrum, I'm just gonna saythem both, give them both to me.
Guess one ozzy osbourne okay.

Matt (57:06):
Guess two post malone, okay uh, I would think you would
have known where ozzy livesfrom the show the osbournes,
which I believe is but you saidthis one of eight residences yes
, they own, so that's that'swhat gave me.
I was like, I feel like no, itis neither of those people eric.
The uh song in question is thelast great american dynasty by

(57:29):
none other than taylor swift ohwhy?

Eric (57:34):
why, man man, what the hell it's a great song, eric.
If you haven't heard it, I havea question For anyone in Rhode
Island who are listening to myvoice right now what?
What is your life like, uh eric?

Matt (57:53):
like what I'm taking it.
You haven't heard.

Eric (57:55):
Last great american dynasty I haven't, but if t
swift by, if the whitest girl onearth buying the whitest house
I have ever seen in one of thewhitest states in our country
yes is cause for controversy yes, eric, I encourage you to
listen.

Matt (58:11):
I want to go to rhode island I want to see what I want
to.
It's got a fucking so firstrule there yes, it does, and
eric if that is your bar, forthings are bad eric, I would
encourage you to listen to lastgreat american dynasty, as soon
as we're done recording andbecause it will become very
clear what the controversy is.
But to give it into you, to youin a nutshell yeah t swift is

(58:31):
new money uh, oh, and she's alsoa young person buying a very
historic house in a very oldmoney.
You know piece of land I get ityeah, I bet you do you rich wasp
you I get it new money movingin flaunting it yeah, okay, last

(58:51):
one here.
Last one here, eric, and forthis let's go back to modest,
hey look at that modest out.

Eric (58:56):
That's a house I would expect to see in, like Annapolis
.

Matt (59:05):
Absolutely.
Right now I'm going to plugthis at the end of the show I'm
doing another show over inVirginia and I drive often
through some very affluentsuburbs of DC and things this
house could easily be on any ofthem streets, yeah.
So yeah, it's expensive, butlet's go through it.

Eric (59:20):
So this one is looking at this house.
This is merely entirely out ofmy grasp, not comically.
So what does that mean In termsof what I can afford?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, this house is just simplyunobtainable, as opposed to
unequivocally and hilariouslyunobtainable.

Matt (59:39):
Oh, but, eric, it wasn't.
Let me give you some statsabout this.
First of all, it's located in.
It's located in omaha, nebraska, okay, and that's a pretty
significant hint to you.
Um, the plot not specified.
I couldn't find it anywhere,but it's not that big.
It's not huge.
It's not a, you know, a ranchhere.
Yeah, the house itself 6500square feet, so it's sizable.

(01:00:03):
It's a decent size house.
Uh, five beds, two and a halfbaths.
The approximate value is 1million, is $1,439,000 today,
but it was purchased in 1958 fora mere $31,500.
God, I fucking hate capitalism.

(01:00:23):
The owner has many, manyproperties, but it has remained
their primary residence since1958.
Amenities, eric, it's got asunroom.
It's got a sunroom.

Eric (01:00:37):
It's got a sunroom.

Matt (01:00:38):
Other than that, just a nice house you walk in.

Eric (01:00:42):
it's just one giant room.

Matt (01:00:44):
There's no, I'm saying there's no.
As far as I can tell, there'sno, you know, bowling alleys or
trampoline rooms.
Yeah, god damn, it's just anice house, Big nice house in
Omaha, Nebraska.

Eric (01:00:56):
Omaha, nebraska.
Do you know what I gotta guess?
Tell me Tom Hanks Incorrecthere, damn it.

Matt (01:01:05):
If you say Tim Allen.

Eric (01:01:06):
I will fucking.
Wouldn't it be funny if it was?

Matt (01:01:08):
Tim Allen.

Eric (01:01:09):
I would no, eric.

Matt (01:01:12):
This house from Omaha famously belongs to one of the
richest, yet, for his net worth,frugalest men.
This is Warren Buffett's house.
Ah, this is.
This is Warren Buffett's house.
He has, of course, many, manyproperties, but this one remains

(01:01:32):
his primary residence.

Eric (01:01:34):
I just need my son room.
I've never heard warren buffettspeak.

Matt (01:01:38):
I don't yeah, it doesn't sound like that.
I can't do a warren buffett,but he just sounds.

Eric (01:01:42):
Do your best one.

Matt (01:01:43):
Do your best one right now I, I think he, I think he just
kind of sounds like a midwestperson and I I don't, I can't
really do a good Midwest accent,I can't.
So much pressure.
Well, I just a lack of that'scountry.
I'm already going country.
Why are you doing this to me,eric?

Eric (01:02:03):
Because I haven't gotten a single one of these right.

Matt (01:02:06):
I told you you might not.
I'm sharing information.
Is this revenge for Googlegripes?
No, I even ran this by.
I ran my idea, bysey, and shewas like poachers isn't gonna
get any of those, and I didn'ttell them what they were and I
was like I don't think anyonewould.
How do you just guess aperson's house?
I was like I didn't.
I'm not really doing points,that's what I'm saying.

(01:02:29):
I'm trying to educate you, eric.
I'm trying to educate you, eric.
I'm trying to educate theaudience.

Eric (01:02:37):
I wasn't testing your knowledge.
I'm imagining you as a teacherexplaining to a room full of
furious parents why all of theirchildren failed.

Matt (01:02:44):
I didn't think anyone were going to get the questions
right, I'm just sharing newinformation or, in this case,
well-established information.

Eric (01:02:54):
Yeah, so there you go.
There are some celebrity homeswell established.

Matt (01:02:55):
Yeah, so there you go.
There are some celebrity homes,some stats that you probably
didn't know before, and now youdo.
And now, now I have knowledge,and now you have knowledge, and
so do you folks, and that'llabout do it for this episode of
you.
Didn't ask for this.
A little bit of business here.
First, please, if you haven'talready join our Patreon
Patreoncom slash you didn't askfor this as Eric said, you get

(01:03:20):
discounts on our incoming merchbut, more importantly, for $4 a
month you will also get accessto the Discord and the Oops, all
Tangents monthly bonus episodes.
By the time this comes out,another one's right around the
corner, so get ready for thatone.
That'll be the third, and ifyou only want to spend $1 a

(01:03:41):
month, that gets you access tothe Discord.
That's it.
But hey, we're having a greattime in the Discord.

Eric (01:03:47):
It's a grand old time.

Matt (01:03:48):
Yes, and thank you to everyone who's in the Discord
already.
People are continually droppingin each week.
I love that, um, and we're justhaving a great time talking to
you guys.
So thank you, yeah, um the uhby by all means.
Of course, you can find us onsocial media at you didn't ask
pod.

(01:04:08):
That's the little, that'sliterally.
You didn't ask pod the letter.
You didn't ask pod the letter.
You didn't ask pod.
I've only said it 102 times andyet I fucked it up just now.
That's amazing.
Instagram, still Twitter, butwe're talking about maybe just
not doing that anymore butthreads, instagram, facebook
we're not really on it, but it'sthere YouTube, et cetera, et

(01:04:30):
cetera, and, of course, patreon.
Do all those things.
And if you haven't, drop us areview, if you wouldn't mind, on
the Apple Podcasts or theSpotify.
Spotify also allows commentsnow, so drop us some comments.
And so, yeah, eric, did I missanything?
Didn't miss a thing, baby.
Oh, I do want to plug realquick, given the date.

(01:04:53):
I am once again doing a show atNext Stop Theater in Herndon,
virginia.
I am in a stage adaptation ofthe Shawshank Redemption, one of
my absolute favorite films ofall time One of the greatest
films ever made, I'd say, andthat I'd say is inarguable.
I'm playing Dawkins, who is anoriginal character to this

(01:05:14):
adaptation.
He's not in the novella or theuh um movie, but he, he kind of
functions like Haywood does inthe movie, which is um William
Sadler's character, if thathelps you.
Um and yeah, that show runsuntil, uh, december 8th, so if
you're in the area, come oncheck it out, I'm playing

(01:05:38):
Dawkins and.

Eric (01:05:38):
I am understudying Andy.
Dufresne I never wish harm uponanother actor, but damn.
I want to see you play AndyDufresne.

Matt (01:05:44):
Well, well, we'll see.
It is cold season, you neverknow.
But hey, I'm, I'm, I'm there asDawkins every now and then,
goddamn right.
So anyway, yeah, if you're soinclined, until December 8th,
come check us out.
Thursdays, fridays, saturdays,sundays.

Eric (01:06:02):
And while we're plugging this episode airs on the 21st,
two days from now there will bea premiere of a movie I'm in in
Baltimore.
There will be a premiere of amovie I'm in in Baltimore.
It's called For Sale byExorcist and that was written
and directed by Melissa andChris LaMartina, who are two of

(01:06:24):
the kindest, sweetest, mostbrilliantly talented human
beings I've ever known.
Got to be in that movie forthem and soon, as soon as I have
details of where it will, willbe streaming and all that you
can see me in a movie that isdope, yeah and so, and and I've
been in, um, I've also been inother things that directed.

(01:06:45):
They are that chris and melissa, uh, who I want to be guests on
the show and who have said theywould love to be guests on the
show, and so it was, and so itshall be.
Uh, they're also in a, uh, likea horror punk surf rock band
called beach creeper, and I wasin their music video that

(01:07:07):
premiered not too long agothat's right pride of franken.

Matt (01:07:11):
So if you go to YouTube, type in Pride of Frankenstein,
you will see me as aFrankenstein in a music video
and it'll be dope and that isapplicable because Eric, as
we've proven here, is a monsterIndeed, so that'll about do it
for all of us here at you Didn'tAsk For this, unless you got

(01:07:33):
anything else to plug in.
No, no, not a damn thing.
I'm fresh out myself.
So, from all of us here at youDidn't Ask For this.
My name's Matt Shea.
My name's Eric Poach.

Eric (01:07:42):
And listen.
You didn't ask, but I'm goingto leave you with a quote that I
learned back in college, and Ilearned it from none other than
Matt Shea, who used it in hisvocal piece in college, so and
so I'm very intrigued.
I'll give you the quote andthen I'll tell you who said it.
I have heard there are troublesof more than one kind.

(01:08:05):
Some come from ahead and somecome from behind.
But I've brought a big bat.
I'm already you see.
Now my troubles are going tohave troubles with me, dr Seuss.

Matt (01:08:21):
Damn Skippy.
Mm-hmm.

Eric (01:08:24):
Theodore Geisel, if you want to be, take care of
yourselves out there folks, god,be safe, be sane and, and above
all, be good to each other.

Matt (01:08:37):
Be good to each other and Us also.
Us, don't forget about us.

Eric (01:08:44):
Be good to us.

Matt (01:08:46):
Be good to us, consider being good to us.
Thank you.