105 | Haunted Into Empathy

Come in and know him better, man! Instead of another Christmas Definitive Ranking, this year we're bringing you The Bah Humbug Bracket: 32 Scrooges facing off in a battle royale to see who will be the final Scrooge standing. 

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Episode Transcript

Eric (00:00):
Last night, alyssa asked me something that has been
living rent-free in my head andI now must release it.

Matt (00:09):
Ooh, an exciting moment, Would you say.
She popped the question.

Eric (00:15):
Oh my God, the wedding's in June.
Now, what she asked me werethose words that every guy wants
to hear.
Oh yeah, what would be the bestand worst movies to recreate in
the Rankin-Bask claymationChristmas style?

(00:36):
Huh yeah, that's, that's thereit is.

Matt (00:44):
Oh, oh, yes, Of course, you, you know that classic
question fantasy.
Uh, okay, okay.
So best and worst, um, okay, soyou're talking.

Eric (00:56):
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer claymation style here
without a santa claus.
Santa santa is coming to townabsolutely.
Like what movies would be thebest and worst to see done in
that style?

Matt (01:11):
Okay, all right.
Well, I feel like kids' moviesin general automatically rise to
the top of the best.

Eric (01:17):
Oh sure, but if we want to be dramatic.

Matt (01:20):
are we looking for like adult movie, adult motion
picture?
Now, when you say adult, youknow what I mean.

Eric (01:28):
Oh okay, talking about pornography?
No, but like a film, yeah.

Matt (01:35):
Oh, instead of saying oh, I don't know Shrek as a claim.
Actually, that's pretty banging.

Eric (01:43):
Yeah, shrek would make a banger Okay instead of like
Frozen.
Yeah, shipwreck would make abanger Okay instead of Frozen.

Matt (01:47):
I could take Frozen, okay, so instead of Frozen, something
more like Leon the.
Professional.

Eric (01:57):
Now you understand Leon the Professional in claymation
style Could be great, just alittle claymation style could be
great just I'll tell you alittle little little, uh, uh,
claymation everyone I'll put myown, my own thing, out there.
I think back to the futurecould be fun claymation I would
kill to see the entire extendedlord of the rings trilogy in

(02:20):
claymation I'd die.

Matt (02:22):
I think I'd kill myself uh okay, let's pepper in some
worse oh yeah, let's just get itout of the way right now.
Schindler's list.
I thank you.

Eric (02:33):
That was that was the first answer.

Matt (02:36):
I was like, oh worse, schindler's list it's, it's
immediately, does not is theworst.

Eric (02:40):
Yeah, immediately oh man, um, oh, fucking, uh.
You know what might become morepalpable?

Matt (02:50):
um requiem for a dream requiem is a of a dream.

Eric (02:54):
Yes, that would be bad parts of that movie actually
might be more palatable in clayum saw, saw, saw, saw kind of
loses some oomph.

Matt (03:06):
It loses a little oomph.
But you know you gotta make allthat blood In Claymation as
well.
Oh, poor Gumby.
Um the.
I don't know why I cast GumbyIn.
I just assumed the CarrieUluwuz role.

Eric (03:23):
Oh man, okay.
Okay, it's Saw, but it's Gumbyand pokey uh that's pretty great
.

Matt (03:29):
Yeah uh, princess bride, claymation could be fun princess
bride.

Eric (03:33):
Claymation could slap.
Maybe we?

Matt (03:36):
should stick to one category first, like let's think
of some bests.
Okay, some bests.
Kill bill.
Yeah, kill bill could be fun.
Bill would rule and kill billwould be a good time.
I'm seeing some scenes from thebig lebowski translate oh, that
would be amazing that that'd bepretty dope big lebowski.

(03:56):
Okay, what if we took one ofthe muppets movies?

Eric (04:00):
and did it how meta and did it claim oh my god, that's
pretty meta, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, uh, fucking.
Muppet treasure island andclaymation, yes, yes, are we
counting, like the dark crystalin this?
Sure?

Matt (04:17):
why not labyrinth?

Eric (04:19):
labyrinth.

Matt (04:20):
Claymation would be dope what about something like a um
not evil dead.
What's?
What am I trying?

Eric (04:27):
army of darkness no army of darkness.
Claymation is it's practicallyalready a claymation movie.
Dead alive is dead alive alsoknown as brain dead.

Matt (04:40):
Uh, one of the best, worst movies ever made by Peter
Jackson.

Eric (04:44):
Oh, my God Matt.

Matt (04:46):
Yes.

Eric (04:46):
It's also a Christmas movie.
It's one of our favoriteChristmas movies Jingle All the
Way.
Jingle All the Way is good.

Matt (04:59):
That would be a fun fucking time.

Eric (05:01):
That would be a grand old time.

Matt (05:04):
If we're keeping it, is that the secret?
Do we have to keep it Christmasadjacent?
Do we, for the purpose of this,keep it to Christmas movies.
In that case, what about theSanta Claus Ooh?

Eric (05:14):
the Santa Claus would.
All the Santa Claus isbasically already there.
It's just got to be Claymationthat I think could be you like
how I?
Said that like oh yeah, it'sbasically already there, you
just have to do all the mostlaborious, time intensive, yes,
important part.

Matt (05:30):
If we're keeping it to christmas, I think that's a good
pick yeah, I, I'd agree withthat and similarly, if we're
keeping it to christmas, whatrises to the top for me, say, is
it's a wonderful life it's ohman for bad for for the bad, for
the worst low-key love that.

Eric (05:49):
How about can I hit you with christmas?

Matt (05:51):
shoes.
Of course that's got to be inthe conversation.

Eric (05:55):
Uh, christmas prince, oh, christmas prince yeah, because I
feel like it takes that wouldjust that would truly just be
bad like it would be awfulbecause it gets rid of all the
reasons.
Anyone is watching it, which isthe beautiful, beautiful actors
well, it's just, yeah, it'sjust.

Matt (06:13):
It wouldn't be entertaining to watch in
claymation.
You know, like, yeah is whatI'm thinking.
Yeah, so what would be well, ina way, I guess that is the
worst, it's just not funny.

Eric (06:25):
Yeah, it loses its redeeming qualities, which are
the beautiful people that havebeen cast in that movie.

Matt (06:32):
Yes, yes.
What other Christmas moviesneed to?
Be Miracle on 34th Street, butI feel like that would be good.

Eric (06:42):
Bro, I've got a new contender for best.

Matt (06:44):
Oh, for best, for best okay die hard die hard.
I think's a candidate for worsedie hard, amazing claymation.

Eric (06:52):
Are you kidding me?

Matt (06:53):
I don't know.
I don't know that I agreelittle, little clay hans gruba I
don't know that I agree gosplat well, okay, there is
something about seeing him splatin claymation.

Eric (07:04):
Yeah, the claymation violence would sell it so hard
for me.

Matt (07:09):
Okay, well, all right, if we slot that in there.

Eric (07:12):
Like a little clay Bruce Willis crawling through broken
glass.

Matt (07:17):
Yes, with just little red streaks on his little feet.

Eric (07:21):
And you know, like fucking oh, who's the guy who plays the
cop on the outside?
Uh, something wilson car.
What you are quoting is carlwinslow from home and from um
family matters oh, yeah, but itis the same actor who is yeah,
who, okay, okay, reginaldjohnson, who famously has been

(07:44):
back in the news for may or maynot, have had sexual relations
with Diddy.

Matt (07:52):
Oh great, you didn't hear about this.

Eric (07:55):
No.

Matt (07:55):
It was huge news, dude.
Allegedly there's a sex tape ofDiddy having sex with Reginald
Val Johnson.

Eric (08:01):
Dude, this is the weirdest fucking timeline.
Yeah, matt's eyes just did theRankin-Bass claymation like
spinning in their sockets andlike, oh, that's crazy talk.

Matt (08:15):
Yeah, I was just trying to find something to rescue the
end of this cold open.
Is what I was trying to do,really Just trying to rope in
some joke somewhere.

Eric (08:27):
Looking for the first exit off that bit highway, exact
amount.

Matt (08:32):
And oh, what is this?
It looks like it's coming upright here, oh, opening V.
Let me just take a big veer tothe right.
Well, hello everybody and MerryChristmas.

(08:59):
This is you Didn't Ask For thisthe podcast answering life's
least pressing questions.
My name's Matt Shea, my name isMatt Shea, my name is Eric
Poach, and it is time for ourannual Christmas themed episode.
Yes, it feels honestly like wejust recorded the last one of
these, but here we are again,time ever becoming more of an

(09:25):
illusion.

Eric (09:25):
We are.

Matt (09:26):
Yes, so we are again.
Time ever becoming more of anillusion.
We are, yes, so we are back.
We're going to jump right inand, eric, we're going to do
something a little differentthis time.
Oh my.

Eric (09:34):
God yeah.
So normally we do a definitiveranking or at least we have
Something Christmas related.
We've done the reindeer.

Matt (09:43):
We've done the reindeer.
We've done the 12 days ofChristmas.
We've done the reindeer.
We've done the reindeer, we'vedone the 12 days of Christmas.
We've done the island of misfittoys.
This year we were thinking ofdoing another one, but we were
doing a little twist oh, thatwas.

Eric (09:59):
I don't know if you were going for that for that joke,
but it's very layered joke.
Is twist going for that forthat joke?
But it's very layered jokebecause twist, oliver twist,
written by charles dickens, whoalso wrote a christmas carol,
which brings us to the topic oftoday's ranking, ebenezer
scrooges ebenezer scrooges.

Matt (10:15):
You know him, you love him , also hate him.
Yeah, famous villain turnedhuman being, turned bare minimum
of deced.
Bare minimum of decency, bareminimum of decency in the
heartwarming story of acapitalist billionaire being
tortured into caring for others,haunted into empathy Haunted

(10:39):
into empathy, so we're going tobe ranking the Scrooges, but not
as portrayed by various actorsactually we're not well, I'm
getting there oh, I'm so sorryeric, we're gonna be.

Eric (10:51):
We're gonna be ranking these scrooges as portrayed by
various actors, characters.
What have you every so muchever?
If you're wondering, like isken so and so everything's on
the table, we we put out a pollfor people's favorite Scrooges.

Matt (11:05):
A little last minute Some people did respond.
Of course, we also asked thediscord go to patrioncom, so she
didn't ask for this to join ourPatreon and our discord.
We asked our loyalists, the youdaft, loyalists, the you daft
giants to weigh in Daftloyalists.

Eric (11:24):
Get on the right side of history.

Matt (11:25):
Hey, January 20th is coming up, man, so we got to get
our party in order so thesurvivors can find each other.
Now, the Anything that wassuggested we've put in.
But instead of just doing adefinitive ranking, we decided
to do something a little bitdifferent.

Eric (11:47):
We will be ranking them on deadliness okay, we're gonna.

Matt (11:52):
What we did is we put them in a bracket.
Battle royale, baby.

Eric (11:55):
Put them in a battle royale battle royale the, the,
the bah hum rumble, the bah humbug bracket, the bah hum bug
bracket.
That it's the bah hum bugbracket, yep, the.

Matt (12:07):
Bah Hum, rumble, the Bah Hum.

Eric (12:08):
Bug Bracket.

Matt (12:08):
The Bah Hum Bug Bracket.
That is the Bah Hum Bug Bracket.
Yep, that's what we're doing,and so we did a halfsies of the
March Madness style bracket.
We got 32 different Scroogesfor you here.
Some of them you know, some ofthem, you love.
Some of them.
You're going to be like whatthe fuck?
I had no idea they playedScrooges for you here.
Some of them you know, some ofthem you love.
Some of them.
You're going to be like whatthe fuck?
I had no idea they played.

Eric (12:27):
Scrooge Correct.
Neither did we.

Matt (12:29):
Neither did we until we went to the Ebenezer Scrooge
wiki page and jotted their namesdown.
All right, so let's jump rightin.
So what we've done for thisinitial seeding is we've gone
opposite sides chronologicallyOf the time-space continuum.

Eric (12:48):
So, earliest Scrooges versus the newest Scrooges, new
blood versus old guard.

Matt (12:54):
And then they sort of meet in the middle, at the end of
the bracket.
So let us begin with RichardJohn Smith.
Now, Richard John Smith Eric, Ihad to educate myself was the
very first actor to portrayEbenezer Scrooge period.
He did so in 1844, mere weeksafter the novella A Christmas

(13:20):
Carol by Charles Dickens waspublished, and the theater
production was a Christmas Carolor past, present and future,
and while there were other playsof A Christmas Carol released
basically at the same time, thiswas the first Charles Dickens
sanctioned production.
So really, first officialportrayal goes to Richard John

(13:45):
Smith.

Eric (13:46):
With the Chucky Dix seal of approval.

Matt (13:50):
Why do you got to do this, Eric?

Eric (13:52):
Do what, do what?
Evolve the language, chucky.

Matt (13:56):
Oh I'm sorry, create culture.

Eric (13:58):
Chucky Dix is evolving the language, chucky Dix is so
avant-garde and up here he goesup against luke evans luke evans
, who uh portrayed bard in thehobbit trilogy.

Matt (14:17):
Okay, yes also ebenezer scrooge in scrooge a christmas
carol.
The animated musical on Ibelieve, believe Netflix came
out in 2022.
So that's what we've got upfirst.
That's our first bracket.
Eric, weigh in please.
Who do you think?
Advances?

Eric (14:36):
I think it's got to be RJS .

Matt (14:39):
Okay, so you think it's RJS.

Eric (14:41):
I think it's RJS, because I'm looking at his wiki page.

Matt (14:46):
Yes.

Eric (14:47):
Also worth noting.
Not only was he the first toplay Ebenezer Scrooge, he was
among the first to playFrankenstein's monster on stage.
So this dude is huge.

Matt (14:59):
This dude is big A certified legend, yeah, a
certified legend, and so I thinkit's only right for the first
portrayer of Ebenezer Scrooge toat least make it to the next
round.

Eric (15:12):
Oh, absolutely.
He's got that Victorian erahardiness to him.

Matt (15:18):
These people were putting lead in everything Speaking of
which that brings us to our nextbracket candidate, which is one
of the greatest actors of alltime, Lionel Barrymore, from the
world-famous Barrymore family,of course.
Now Barrymore portrayedEbenezer Scrooge sort of off and

(15:41):
on in A Christmas Carol, anannual radio broadcast between
1934 and 1953.
There were a few breaks inthere.
I bet you can guess which yearsthere were breaks.
Yeah, but he did do that.

Eric (15:57):
We can't afford to have Charles Dickens sorry, chucky
Dick's annual ghost story.
We have to ration it for thewar effort.

Matt (16:07):
And when, looking this up earlier, I did learn that there
were two years in which he wassubstituted, one by his very
famous brother, john Barrymore,and once by none other than
Orson Welles.
So this absolute powerhouse.
Yeah, it's not only him, but youalso get John and you also get

(16:27):
Orson Welles in an annualproduction beloved on the radio,
I'm sure, during a verytumultuous time in world history
, truly, yes, and he's going upagainst Will Ferrell, will
Ferrell, will Ferrell fromSpirited, also released in 2022.
And I'll be honest with you,eric, although I was aware of

(16:50):
Spirited, with Ryan Reynolds andWill Ferrell coming out, I did
not realize he was playingScrooge, nor I.
I think that says something.

Eric (17:01):
I think that says something, but I think this also
says something.
I think Will Ferrell's gotreach.
I think he says something.
I think that says something,but I think this also says
something.
I think Will Ferrell's gotreach.
I think he's got reach onLionel Barrymore.
This is a battle.

Matt (17:10):
This is a battle, and what we can say about these two is
we can see Will Ferrell'sportrayal.
We can only hear and imaginethe portrayal of Lionel
Barrymore.

Eric (17:22):
Yeah yeah, lionel Barrymore might have that voice
on lock, but Will Ferrell'sbringing physicality to the role
, that I just don't, I don'tknow, do we give it?

Matt (17:33):
I think we give it to Will Ferrell I think Will Ferrell
takes it.

Eric (17:36):
He's got the the that reach is going to carry Will
Ferrell through these brackets.

Matt (17:41):
Absolutely.

Eric (17:42):
Now that brings us to uh alistair sim alistair sim who is
, in case anyone was curious,the best portrayal of ebenezer
scrooge, now alistair sim isactually on this bracket twice
now.

Matt (17:59):
This first one is from the 1951 film scrooge, as it was
released in across the pondthere, or just plain old A
Christmas Carol here in theUnited States.
So Scrooge slash A ChristmasCarol.
He will appear in just a minuteagain in the 1971 animated A

(18:23):
Christmas Carol, so he'll beback.
But we're specifically talkingabout the Scrooge version versus
Guy Pearce from the 2019 BBCminiseries A Christmas Carol.
Eric, this is obvious, don'tyou think?
Alistair Simp?
It's Alistair Simp.
I mean, don't get me wrong, guyPearce is a tough man, but I

(18:47):
would not.
I didn't know about guypierce's portrayal until we
began gathering these names yeah, alistair's.

Eric (18:54):
If you look at I need to find the picture of alistair sim
, but it's like him like fuckinglike 1920s, like he looks like
a hard-boiled detective yes,yeah, like, or a divorced dad or
a divorced dad, both of whomhave nothing to lose.

Matt (19:16):
Oh, I don't know that that's true about the divorced
dad.
Nothing more to lose.
Sorry, that's that word I thinkthey have one thing to lose?
Yep they have one thing left tolose, and that's custody, and
so, so he's gonna be fightinglike a that.

Eric (19:36):
But that's what I'm getting at is alistair sim is
gonna be fighting like a manwho's trying to like, look
strong for his children.
Guy pierce cannot come upagainst that, sure.
Sure, because who's gonna tolook strong for his children?
Guy Pearce cannot come upagainst that, sure.

Matt (19:46):
Sure, because who's going to divorce Guy Pearce?
He will ruin Guy Pearce.
Has Guy Pearce been divorced?

Eric (19:51):
Nobody's divorcing Guy Pearce.
Look at him, he's gorgeous.
Alistair Simm he's hard-boiled.
He's hard-boiled.

Matt (19:57):
He's a chestnut, he's a hard man and that's what you
want out of his.
That's what you want out of aScrooge.
And also Kate Mestitz, mestitz.
Kate Mestitz, m-e-s-t-i-t-z.

Eric (20:16):
Mestitz, it's the emphasis on the tits.

Matt (20:20):
Kate.

Eric (20:20):
Mestitz.
See you gotta, you couldMestitz.

Matt (20:24):
That is the answer to the question of who would divorce
Guy Pearce.
She did so in 2015.

Eric (20:30):
Damn.

Matt (20:31):
Okay, so there's your answer to that, it's Alistair.
Sim, it's Alistair.
Sim, it's Alistair, sim.

Eric (20:38):
Thank you.

Matt (20:39):
Okay, so now coming up next we have Jim Backus as Mr
Magoo, as Ebenezer Scrooge, asEbenezer Scrooge in Mr Magoo's
Christmas Carol, released in1962.
I happen to know this is mydad's favorite portrayal of
Ebenezer Scrooge because he toldme so last Christmas and we

(21:01):
watched this is true threedifferent versions in a row of A
Christmas Carol, one of whichwas Mr Magoo.
Yeah, so that's Mr Magoo versusGeorge Lopez as Grouchy Smurf
in the Smurfs Christmas Carolfrom 2011.

Eric (21:24):
So we've got another To give you an idea of how far we
reached we, and by we I meanMatt.
The bucket is deep friends.

Matt (21:37):
It is the bucket for people who have played Sprooge
is deep.

Eric (21:42):
So, matt, I'm not going to lie.
I have an impulse, I have likean instant eric, I think you
better tell me what it is.
Dog, it's mr magoo, man hasplot, armor it's got, he's got
that nearsightedness plot armorthat, just like that.
That grouchy smurf I don'tthink is going to be able to
step to.
He's also got again reach.

(22:03):
Grouchy smurf is a smurf.
Mr magoo is a human yeah, ahundred mr magoo could
inadvertently decimate the smurfpopulation several times over,
not even realize it's happening.

Matt (22:15):
Yeah, I I completely agree with you.
Well, why don't we cut thebullshit and just give it to mr
magoo right now?
Jim backus is mr magoo, you'remy goddamn right.
Okay, now our next, our nextone, eric, is a pretty
heavyweight bracket.
Uh, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm looking at names.
We've got albert finney asscrooge in the film scrooge from

(22:38):
1971, versus michael gamb Holyshit, as Kazran Sardik from the
Christmas Carol episode ofDoctor who.
Oh, I know, oh my God, in 2010.
Now these are two infamousEnglish actors.

(23:00):
Yep, I was just checking to seeif they were both knighted.
It doesn't look like albertfinney actually was.
Let's see about michael gambit,who's irish, actually didn't
mean to make that mistake, umcbe.
So he, uh, he is not knighted.
Is that a knight?

(23:20):
Uh, let's see.
That's most excellent order ofthe british empire.
I don't think that's a's MostExcellent Order of the British
Empire.
I don't think that's a sir,though.

Eric (23:27):
Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the Five.

Matt (23:30):
Clans.
No, it is Sir Michael Gambon.
It says it right there.

Eric (23:34):
Okay, so Michael has Albert Finney absolute
powerhouse.

Matt (23:38):
Absolute powerhouse.

Eric (23:39):
Michael Gambon has the might of the British Empire
behind him, might of the.

Matt (23:43):
British Empire.
Behind him he's first of allAlbert Finney is.
His resume speaks for itself,but so does Michael Gambon's.

Eric (23:52):
I'll also point out I've seen this episode of Doctor who.
It's wild.
He also has the power of a TimeLord on his side.

Matt (23:59):
And I have not seen Albert Finney's Scrooge, I will admit.

Eric (24:04):
I think this goes to Gambit.

Matt (24:06):
I think this goes to Gambit, because who are we to
deny Dumbledore?

Eric (24:11):
I truly JK Rowling might suck a whole bunch of dog shit.

Matt (24:16):
Let's not get into the whole JK Rowling situation.

Eric (24:20):
Not on Christmas, not on Christmas, not on Christmas.
What did I say?

Matt (24:24):
It's Michael Gambit, it's Michael Gambon, it's Michael
Gambon.
Now, all right, so that bringsus to Alistair Sim.
He's back, he's back.

Eric (24:33):
He's back, but this time he's animated.
He's back.

Matt (24:36):
He's a cartoon.
He's a cartoon and that is, ofcourse, from the animated film A
Christmas Carol from 1971.
And he will be going up againstCatherine.

Eric (24:48):
Tate, Eric Catherine Tate as Nan Famous British comedian,
famous Doctor who companion.

Matt (24:58):
Yes, also was a cast member of the Office for the
last two seasons.
Yes, in 2009,.
This is nan's christmas carol.
She played nan playing scroogein uh in nan's christmas carol
2009 versus uh, alistair simagain.
I think this might be alistairsim again, though, eric I, so

(25:19):
here's so here's.

Eric (25:22):
here's where I'm at.
Alistair Sim animated does havecartoonish physics on his side.
True, he is actually old.

Matt (25:32):
Yes.

Eric (25:33):
Catherine.

Matt (25:34):
Tate is not.

Eric (25:34):
Catherine Tate is not.
Catherine Tate is also fierce,like Catherine.
Tate is someone you could notpay me to fight.
I feel like she could kick myass any day of the week.
Yeah, and let's not forget.

Matt (25:46):
This is actually 20 years after Alistair Simms' other
portrayal.

Eric (25:52):
And he was old then.

Matt (25:54):
He was old then, so no wonder he's only doing the voice
now.
Yeah, so I think if we'rekeeping this to a combat bracket
, I think Nan is going to winthis.

Eric (26:09):
I think even assuming we're like we're treating
katherine tate as like that ageof her character, I think she
still kicks the shit out ofalistair sim.

Matt (26:18):
Okay, now that brings us to a very interesting next
bracket, which is marcel marceaufrom 1973, the world famous
mime yep.
Marcel marceau versus and Ididn't know this until I was
putting this together matthewmcconaughey as connor dutch mead

(26:41):
in ghosts of girlfriends, pastfrom 2009, do you?

Eric (26:45):
know what you gotta.
You gotta look out for, forthat backhand on McConaughey.
He got a lot of power Becausewhen he fights it's all rights,
all rights, all rights.
He just throws them.
Very good, eric.
Very good.

Matt (27:03):
Now, I didn't know Ghosts of Girlfriends passed.
I did not know that it wasadapted from A Christmas Carol.
That is by itself hysterical tome, but I do like the image of
Marcel Marceau in a fight period.
I think he's getting his asskicked by McConaughey.

Eric (27:26):
So yeah, marcel Marceau is bringing a lot.
He's got a lot of mime trickeryin in the 100 in the pocket.
But then you have matthewmcconaughey who's like, uh, like
a welterweight, just fuckinglike.
I've seen matthew mcconaug weall have.

(27:48):
I think he's taking this one.

Matt (27:50):
He's taking this one.
I'm putting him up there asConnor Dutchmead.
Now our next bracket Eric,we've got Walter Matthau versus.
Jim Carrey.
Walter Matthau played him inthe Stingiest man in Town in
1978.
Stingiest man in town in 1978,uh and um, jim carrey, of course

(28:19):
, played him in the, also thethird 2009 adaptation of a
christmas carol with a creepypolar express yes, cgi version.

Eric (28:25):
uh, so I'll say this Walter Maddow legend, of course,
but also subscribes to the BabeRuth school of fitness, which
is he looks like.
He subsists purely on scotchand eating cigars.

Matt (28:41):
I mean sure he's a very tall, lanky man.
He's not stocky like Babe Ruth,if that's what you're getting
at.
No, like the jowl region of theface.
Yes, he is a jowly man,possibly the jowliest man who
ever lived truly.

Eric (28:57):
Uh, jim carrey is a wild card.
He's.
Jim carrey is a wild card.

Matt (29:02):
He, I, I, I and I think that can't be discounted I think
his animated version inparticular has a level of energy
yes, that will will beget toviolence.

Eric (29:16):
He, he's a, he's like that .
He's a real sinewy scrooge likethat like that, like the kind
you don't want to fight because,like you're not, you just keep
bouncing back up.

Matt (29:26):
I think I hate to.
It feels disrespectfuldisrespectful for Walter Matthau
to lose in the first round, butI do think Jim Carrey's version
takes it.
I think Carrey takes it.
I think Carrey takes it.
Now that'll bring us on down toour next grouping.
That's Henry Winkler asBenedict Slade in an American

(29:50):
Christmas Carol from 1979,versus Jonathan Winters.
Now this one was submittedJonathan Winters of Christmas
Carol from 2004.
This was submitted to us as arunner up to this person's first
choice.

Eric (30:07):
What was their first choice?
Their first choice was Sir,their person their first choice.

Matt (30:09):
Their first choice was sir michael k who.
Uh who, we don't worry he'scurrently warming up.

Eric (30:15):
He's getting he's, he's, he's in the, he's in the bullpen
, he's in the bullpen he'swarming up, he knows he knows
what's coming.

Matt (30:23):
Yeah, he knows he's got a fight coming up, so don't worry,
we're getting to him.
Uh, but uh, jonathan winter'schristmas carol was somewhat
more than just 2004.
It seems like it was a longrunning series of him playing
scrooge.
I had to look all this up andhe's going against the fums.

(30:45):
Yes, in 1978.

Eric (30:47):
So henry winkler, still somewhat young, here, okay so,
yeah, this is what is because,like jonathan winters, looks
like the kind of guy like, looksslow, but it looks like he only
needs to make one, like he onlyone of his hits need to connect
, yeah, to completely body youyeah, like if jake paul and mike

(31:07):
tyson actually fought.

Matt (31:10):
This is.
This is the one punch fromtyson that would have ended it
winkler scrooge looks very frail, are you looking him up?
They, they did so much work tomake him old when he was not
yeah, he looks so old, but thething is, he's not.

Eric (31:34):
So under the hood that is like a V8, Fonz.

Matt (31:38):
Let's just do this real quick.

Eric (31:43):
Haunting the Winkler Scrooge Okay.

Matt (31:46):
Eric.
Yeah, eric, give it to me, mycalculations are correct.
Henry Winkler portrayed Scroogeat age 34 in this film.
Ooh, so he was heavily, heavilymade up.
Oh yeah, henry Winkler is 79now.

Eric (32:10):
And live in his best life.

Matt (32:11):
I mean mean truly, barry was an incredible show.

Eric (32:14):
So so this is so.
This is where I'm torn.
So henry winkler is definitelygoing to have youth going for
him.
Secret youth, secret youth.
He's got the secret font ofyouth within his bones but he is
technically playing benedictslade, he's playing benedict
slade it's an adaptation.
He's not old old, old, old manhe's scrooge, but not

(32:37):
technically, technically, I'llalso say this henry winkler, by
all accounts, is an absolute gem.
Cinnamon roll of a human being,of course he is, so I think I
think winters could take this.

Matt (32:51):
Winters looks like he's been in fights.
I think winters takes this andand I'm happy to give it to him
yeah, I think this will be.

Eric (32:58):
I think this will go very much the mountain versus the
sand, like the the sand viperthe viper versus the mountain.
Yes, this is how this could go,yeah.

Matt (33:09):
Now up next we have Mel Blanc, specifically as Yosemite
Sam in A Bug's Bunny ChristmasCarol also from 1979, versus
Kelsey Grammer in a made-for-TVmusical version of A Christmas
Carol that came out in 2004.

(33:30):
You know, obviously I've got alittle bit of Frasier bias.

Eric (33:36):
You got a little Frasier bias.
Yosemite Sam's gots a gun.

Matt (33:40):
He's got guns, but you know, so does Kelsey Grammer.

Eric (33:44):
if we're being honest, yeah, what Kelsey Grammer does?
He have firearms.

Matt (33:52):
Kelsey Grammer, the gigantic raging republican.
Yes, I'm sure he has firearmsoh, he's probably got fire.

Eric (33:56):
Yeah, but like in terms of this kelsey grammar, as scrooge
brought a cane to a gunfight hedid and and a hell of a scowl
oh, my god, one god, one hell ofa scowl.

Matt (34:11):
I do think yosemite sam it's gonna be that scene from
indiana jones where you've gotthe sword dancer doing his big
old trickery and then indy justfucking caps him.
Yep, and I think that's what'shappening here.
I think it's Yosemite Samspecifically.

Eric (34:31):
Yes, yosemite, sam takes it Yosemite.

Matt (34:34):
Scrooge, yosemite Scrooge.
Here's where we get interestingEric.
Next up we have Carol Spinneyas Oscar the Grouch from A
Special Sesame Street Christmasin both 1979 and 2006.

Eric (34:50):
Who the fuck else are you going to get to play Scrooge?

Matt (34:53):
I mean truly.

Eric (34:54):
In your Sesame Street adaptation.

Matt (34:57):
Versus Vanessa Williams from A Diva's Christmas Carol in
2000.
I mean there's going to be someserious blows thrown from
Vanessa Williams and Oscar.
The Grouch is technically stuckin a trash can.

Eric (35:13):
He has the trash can armor has the trash can armor.
Yeah, he can retreat into thatlike a hermit crab.
That's going to give him somesignificant advantage Vanessa is
going to have cannot stressthis enough reach is going to
have cannot stress this enoughreach.
She's gonna have reach, but Ithink, when you think about

(35:34):
oscar, we haven't really seenoscar fight.
No, he's a, he's a, he's agrowler, not a fighter.

Matt (35:38):
But we know the rage that boils inside of oscar he.

Eric (35:44):
There will be something unlocked within him.
Yes, and it don't get truly.

Matt (35:50):
I mean, when you're talking about Scrooge, you're
talking about one of thegrouchiest people.
Who better to portray him thanOscar the grouch?
That is so fucking true, it'sgoing to be Oscar, my guy.

Eric (36:03):
I think Oscar the grouch takes.
I think Oscar is going to gofar.
I think Oscar.

Matt (36:08):
I think we've got to give it to oscar over vanessa.
I know we're doing combat, Iknow we're doing who's gonna win
in the fight and I think that'squestionable.
But we got to give something towho is the better scrooge, and
there's no way vanessa williamsis a better scrooge than oscar
the grouch no, she's especiallyin her portrayal in a diva's

(36:29):
Christmas.

Eric (36:31):
It's definitely like a much more like cold and callous
kind of Scrooge energy she'sbringing.
But Oscar has that raw.
You know he's going to Ebenezerall over my Scrooge.

Matt (36:47):
I believe you are correct and for that reason, carol
Spinney, as Oscar the Grouchmoves on Yep.
Next up, alan Young, whoportrayed Scrooge McDuck.
There he is, folks.
If you were worried.
He's here Specifically inMickey's Christmas Carol in 1983
, versus and this is a big onePatrick Stewart from Christmas

(37:09):
Carol in 1999.
And I feel like PatrickStewart's Christmas Carol was
like one of my definingChristmas carols.

Eric (37:19):
Oh, I mean, like truly, you have two behemoths of
Christmas Carol culture.

Matt (37:28):
It's true, scrooge McDuck, one of the most recognizable
Scrooges of all time in andoutside of a Christmas Carol
universe, yes, but so is PatrickStewart.
I mean, that was a bigadaptation when we were growing
up, I think.
Oh yeah, it was for me anyway.

Eric (37:44):
Patrick Stewart is going to have his training with the
Royal Shakespeare Company.
He has experience with Rapierand Dagger.
He has this very strongfoundation of character
development.
He will truly embody Scrooge,scrooge, but Scrooge McDuck.

Matt (38:13):
we cannot discount his fitness routine, which includes
swimming through solid goldcoins, and he can have endless
bags of those gold coins that hecan then use as a weapon.
The finite.

Eric (38:22):
Scrooge, scrooge McDuck is , of everyone on this roster,
the wealthiest of the Scrooges.

Matt (38:28):
I think that's true.
He has a water tower full ofmoney.

Eric (38:32):
I think Forbes ranked him as the wealthiest fictional
character, maybe second only toRichie Rich.

Matt (38:39):
I think let's fucking give it to fucking Scrooge McDuck.

Eric (38:42):
I'm sorry.

Matt (38:43):
Sir Patrick Stewart.
Sir Patrick this guts me.
It guts me.
You're one of my nostalgicScrooges that I would watch on
TNT, yeah, for years on end, butyou have been eliminated
Scrooge.

Eric (38:56):
McDuckin and Weaven all over Patrick Stewart.

Matt (39:00):
Absolutely Now.
Next we have George C Scottfrom the 1984 version of A
Christmas Carol versus JackPalance.
Verse from Ebenezer, a made forTV movie Western from 1997,
because of course it was forJack Palance.

(39:21):
George C Scott was alsosubmitted to us as someone's
runner-up, so I have to say thisis a bit of a bro-y matchup.
Jack Palance, a very famousactor from the golden age of
Hollywood onward.
You might know him best asCurly from City Slickers.

(39:46):
Oh yeah, eric it so offends methat you don't know who jack
palance is buddy, I'm sorry.

Eric (39:53):
I'm on his wikipedia page right now.
Yeah, I'm.
I'm taking the time to do myresearch and educate myself, you
do know who george c scott is,though right yes, dog.
Yes, I know george c scott namea movie oh, dude, don't do this
to me not during the christmasepisode name the film uh, I'm

(40:13):
gonna name.
Uh, I mean, he was in 12 angrymen, right?

Matt (40:20):
he might have been.

Eric (40:21):
Let me check I I I was you getting ready to talk so much
shit patent.

Matt (40:26):
Patton, Dr Strange love.
Like you could have just goneon and on Cause every time I see
, I picture his face, I see it.
Yes, you are correct.

Eric (40:36):
Oh, was he in 12 Angry Men ?
No Damn, I was so ready to gettell you go fuck yourself on our
Christmas episode.
Oh, he was in Rescuers DownUnder, was he?
Oh was he.
Was he the bad guy?
Yeah, he played the fuckingevil Australian poacher in
Rescuers Down Under.

(40:56):
That is the entire touchstoneof George C Scott to my
childhood.

Matt (41:01):
Oh, Eric, George C Scott was in 12 Angry Men.

Eric (41:04):
Oh, matt, merry Christmas, go fuck yourself.

Matt (41:08):
The 1997 made forfor-TV movie.

Eric (41:11):
And that's the one I watched, that one.
Cut your dick off, eric.
Go, fuck yourself, matthew.

Matt (41:18):
I love you.
No, you don't get to tell me togo fuck myself.

Eric (41:21):
I was right, you are spinning.

Matt (41:23):
No, you're not right, Debra.
Did you eat my eggs?

Eric (41:27):
Do you know?
That's a quote from RescuersDown Under by George C Scott.
I can quote George C Scott.
Can you Give me a George CScott quote right now?
That's what I fucking thought.

Matt (41:38):
I hate you.

Eric (41:39):
I love you.

Matt (41:40):
All right, all right, we'll leave it at that.
Jack Palance versus.

Eric (41:46):
George C Scott.

Matt (41:49):
I think Georgieie c takes it I was gonna say I don't
particularly care for either oneof these portrayals, so let's
just give it to georgie scottthey, they step into the arena,
they have a quick chat, they,they, they, they share a
cigarette.

Eric (42:07):
And then george is like I'll take it.
So that's that.

Matt (42:10):
Next we have a true heavyweight of the 80s.

Eric (42:15):
This is huge Matchup.

Matt (42:18):
We have Bill Murray as Frank Cross in Scrooged 1988
versus Tim Curry, an animatedmusical adaptation of A
Christmas Carol from 1997.
Yep Now.

Eric (42:34):
I don't know.

Matt (42:35):
I don't know about this, Eric, you there boy what day is
this?
Was that your, tim Curry?

Eric (42:43):
That was an attempt.

Matt (42:49):
Nice.

Eric (42:53):
So the Bill Murray, I mean , he's not a Scrooge, he's a
frank cross.

Matt (42:55):
Technically, that's true, he's frank cross, but he is, he
is spiritually, he's spirituallypurposes the scrooge of the
film 100, even though there is ascrooge in the film within a
film I'll say this bill murrayspends most of that movie
getting his ass kicked by otherpeople.
True, that's true, andconstantly getting his shit
kicked in, and Tim Curry doesn'ttake shit from anybody.

Eric (43:17):
Tim Curry, tim Curry, don't take nothing from nobody.

Matt (43:22):
You know what?
I thought Bill Murray wouldreally go far in here, but he
does get it.
You make a good point.
He gets his ass kicked, thatwhole film far in here, but he
does get it.

Eric (43:30):
You make a good point, he gets his ass kicked.
That whole film, bill murray,could go, could go far, but
frank cross doesn't make it outthe first bracket no, I eric
sadly.

Matt (43:39):
I think you're right.
I say sadly so I think it istim curry, love it.
I think we just go with.
First big upset is of thebracket.
I think yeah, and I thinkpeople are going to have
feelings about that.

Eric (43:54):
Murray got curried Murray got curried, there you go.

Matt (43:57):
Didn't even put that together.
Next we have from theBlackadder's Christmas Carol in
1988, it's Rowan Atkinson asEbenezer Blackadder versus
Cecily Tyson as Ebonita Scroogein Ms Scrooge from 1997, a film
I only heard of when I put it onthis bracket.

Eric (44:21):
So a couple things Okay.
One, rowan Atkinson.

Matt (44:25):
Mr.

Eric (44:26):
Bean the Blackadder.

Matt (44:28):
Mm-hmm.
Rowan Atkinson.
Mr.

Eric (44:29):
Bean the Black Adder.
The Black Adder, a characterusually defined by constantly
being foiled.

Matt (44:37):
Yes.

Eric (44:39):
None of his plans come to fruition.
He notably, you know, diesevery generation and is
reincarnated, correct.

Matt (44:49):
Again dies every generation and is reincarnated.
Correct again.
Cecily tyson, similar to to timcurry, takes no shit from no
one no shit from no one, not noway, not no how I think it might
be a benita scrooge I thinkebonyta scrooge takes it all
right now, eric, let's just getthis one out of the way.
We've reached ourselves in themiddle 1992 versus 1995.

(45:11):
We've got Michael Caine from aMuppet Christmas Carol this was
submitted by numerous people astheir favorite versus and this
just delights me Susan Lucci asElizabeth Ebby Scrooge from the
1995 film ebby.

(45:33):
That is a very funny thing tome, that is is very good um I.

Eric (45:39):
I'm most familiar with susan lucci from all my children
of course, as always, we allare as we all are.
That was my mom's soap operagrowing up.
But this is amazing.
I'm so glad she's here, soMichael Caine takes it.

Matt (45:54):
It's Michael Caine.
We don't need to waste any timewith this, Michael Caine.
Michael Caine's Scrooge in aMuppet Christmas Carol could
have at any moment turn aroundand slit the throat of Gonzo.
Yes.

Eric (46:09):
Yeah, also, it just just here's here, this is just me,
I'm.
I'm like sir michael cain.
If, if it weren't for theexistence of alistair, sim would
be my favorite scrooge, becauseeveryone else in a muppet
christmas carol was in a muppetmovie.
So michael kai, yeah, was justgoing balls to the wall.

(46:30):
Ebenezer scrooge, you couldhave lifted his performance out
of that movie, dropped it in,like the fucking like in the art
, in the fucking english stageor any stage anywhere, doing a
christmas carol, and nothingwould have changed it's like the
meme that comes around everytime, every year around this
time, which is like hey, youknow it's.

Matt (46:52):
It's a muppet, christmas, carol, it's fun, it's light.
Have some fun with it.

Eric (46:56):
Michael cain, I'm going to play this as serious as a heart
attack he also has yes, yes, healso has one of my favorite
moments in that entire movie,which is with one point where
Sir Michael Caine picks up aMuppet and throws him at another
Muppet.
It is.

Matt (47:18):
Michael Caine is boiling with violence in that film.

Eric (47:22):
Yes, he is always two steps away from murdering
everyone in the room.

Matt (47:27):
Should we instead then, eric, work our way back up like
just snake it?
Yes, so michael cain is nowreversing cecily tyson.
Eric, I don't think we got towaste time here either uh, sir
michael cain it's michael cain,ebony scrooge.
I'm sorry you don't stand achance against michael cain, so

(47:50):
you know we already talked abouthis properties and no one
remembered.
Let's be honest that, with alldue respect to cecily tyson, no
one remembers ebonita scrooge no, so I didn't know it existed
until today no, and we willforget about it just as quickly.
George c scott versus tim currytwo pork trails I'll be honest
that I haven't seen.
Tim curry's is animated, yep,and george c scott's is not so.

(48:14):
You have a cartoon tim curryscrooge versus george c scott,
and george c scott is a toughman, but is he tough enough to
beat curry?

Eric (48:25):
because curry is not only tough, he's wily, he's wily,
unpredictable at timesunpredictable, I think.
I think curry brings aconniving nature to the that's a
good word I think george cscott would want to do this like
a, like a fisticuffs kind ofthing, but tim curry is gonna be
like pocket sand I think you'reright, I think he can.

Matt (48:48):
He he's not afraid to fight a little underhandedly no,
goodness, no, I think it's timcurry.

Eric (48:54):
If tim curry's laughing, you should be running eric
that's a great way, and he's oh,he's always laughing, that
crazy son of a bitch.

Matt (49:07):
That brings us to the uh classic matchup of carol spinney
as oscar the grouch versus alanyoung as scrooge mcduck how
okay.

Eric (49:17):
So I think this goes to scrooge classic foil, the clash
of titans.
I do think this goes to scroogeMcDuck Again.
Money is a superpower.
He could afford to buy SesameStreet and have it bulldozed
over.
Oh, that's so dark In anultimate which tell me a less

(49:43):
Ebeneezer Scrooge moment, like apre-Change of Hearts.

Matt (49:48):
Scrooge moment hey, you're not wrong moment.
Hey, then buying sesame streetand bulldozing it all right, I'm
fine with giving it to scroogemcduck and one-on-one.
I think he would just take hismoney bags and rattle that.
Uh, that trash can.
Yeah.
So I think we can move on tojonathan winters versus yosemite

(50:11):
sam, as portrayed by mel blanc.

Eric (50:13):
Oh now, this is tough this is tough, mel blanc, as
yosemite scrooge.
Still got gun.
Yes, still got gun, still gotgun, but is dumb.
He's dumb and here's what Ithink undoes him him pulling
doing the indiana jones pullingout the gun.
Blam, he has to stick to looneytunes, rules of of engagement

(50:37):
and and comedy.
It's a neat trick, but he canonly do it once, correct.
You know, the second time hegoes to pull that trigger it's
gonna be a bang flag and he'sgonna get his ass kicked.

Matt (50:47):
I think jonathan winters has more fight in him than than
just relying on his guns.
I think once yosemite sam hitsthe bang flag, he's out of
tricks, as you put it yeah, he'sjust and jonathan winters is
just upon him and jonathanwinters.

Eric (51:09):
Just, they just legalized the 12-6 elbow and ufc and I
think that's what he's droppingon yosemite scrooge eric, I'm
sorry.

Matt (51:17):
Did you just reveal that you watch ufc, of all sports?

Eric (51:21):
no, I have several friends who do and I like learning
things great okay, great.

Matt (51:27):
So jonathan winters and his whatever elbow I will be
chilling in discord.

Eric (51:31):
They'll be watching ufc.
I'll be playing video games.
Okay, and asking aboutterminology and what a life you
live, eric.

Matt (51:40):
Yeah, okay.
Next up is matthew mcconaugheyas connor.
Dutch mead versus is Jim Carrey.
Now Jim Carrey is 3D, as weknow.

Eric (51:50):
Jim Carrey is 3D and has much more.
I would say raw magic.
He has the special effectsdepartment on his side, the raw
kinetic energy of it.

Matt (52:07):
Yeah, I think that will best.
Mcconaughey, I do think so.
I don't think that no amount ofTexan strength is going to best
Jim Carrey's animated form.
No.
So there it goes.
It's Jim Carrey, but.

Eric (52:19):
I'll say this McConaughey will be the most gracious loser,
oh yeah.
He'll take it like a boss, himand Jim will be getting drinks
after this 100% they will.

Matt (52:28):
Why wouldn't they be Michael boss, him and Jim will
be getting drinks after this.
100% they will.
Why wouldn't they be MichaelGambon as Kazran Sardic versus
Catherine Tate as Nan?

Eric (52:35):
let me say this Catherine Tate is one of the funniest
human beings on this planet.
Yes, catherine Tate is myfavorite Doctor who companion.
Okay, catherine Tate does notbest Michael Gambon.
Michael Gambon Scrooge?
No, I don't think pitchedcombat?

Matt (52:49):
I do not think so.
I have to agree with you.

Eric (52:53):
Let's give it to Kazran Sardic also worth noting that
Kazran Sardic like by the timethey get to him like it's a Matt
Smith episode Catherine Tate'scompanion arc is already
finished.
She would make an incrediblelike cameo, but I dude's got,

(53:13):
dude's got a time lord on hisside and yeah now what we have
next is alistair sim versus mrmagoo jim buckus.

Matt (53:23):
Of course it kills me to say this, kills me to say I have
an opinion, so go ahead.
I think magoo takes it.
I think magoo takes it too, andI'll tell you why.
Tell me why spill it, I thinkhe will.
In true, his true superpower ishis ability to accident his way
to success.

(53:43):
Yes, yes, I think the morecompetent his opponent, the more
likely it is Magoo wins,because what's going to happen
is they're going to set up forsome street brawl and Magoo is
going to walk into the edge of ascaffold and it'll come
crashing down on Alistair Simm.

Eric (54:02):
It'll.

Matt (54:03):
Oh, I'm going to find my way to the fight exactly so I
think that's as good of a magooas we were gonna get.
So I think magoo takes it Ithink magoo takes it now next
next we have richard john smith,the first to ever play the role

(54:23):
versus will ferrell, who, againhas that reach he has that
reach.
He is a tall man.

Eric (54:33):
He's a tall man, richard john smith might be built for
like victorian times but likebut he ain't built for the
improv, he ain't built for theimprov.
And back then big in thosetimes was like like a big dude,
then was like five, six yeah, Ithink they were all short and
rickety.

Matt (54:52):
I think so, eric.
I think we have no choice, butI think will ferrell tackles him
way too hard through a wall I.
I don't see how you're wrongabout that yeah yeah, um.
So that brings us to willferrell.
So we're gonna circle our wayback, we're gonna snake around
so we're down to one, two, three, four, five.

Eric (55:12):
Uh sorry, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Matt (55:15):
Yeah, it's eight, scrooges that's how the bracket we
started with 32 we are down toeight.
We're down to eight, and thefirst is will Ferrell versus Mr
Magoo.
Now this so now, this isfucking talking.

Eric (55:30):
Now we're fucking cooking because, just as I said earlier,
mr Magoo's strength in thiscompetition is inversely
proportional to the competenceof his opponent.
So like, however competent andgood his opponent is, or how
serious they are, yeah, or howlike, like, like hard they're

(55:51):
they're taking this, I agree, ishow well magoo will do.
How does that fare against theinherent absurdity of will?

Matt (55:58):
ferrell.
Yeah, I was gonna say I haven'tseen spirited, but I think we
can make an educated guess as tohow will ferrell scrooge
behaves.
A lot of yelling, a lot ofyelling, a lot of energy.
This is a tight matchup this is.
This is I think, when the dustsettles, I think the absurdity

(56:22):
of will ferrell stands a prettygood chance of overcoming the
dumb luck of mr mcgill and I'llsay this because they are.

Eric (56:31):
They are two such comedically driven entities.
It's funnier if will ferrellbeats the shit out of a
nearsighted old, old, old man.
That's true.
True, that is on brand.

Matt (56:46):
It's on brand.

Eric (56:47):
For Will.

Matt (56:47):
Ferrell.
I think we give it to WillFerrell's portrayal from
Spirited yeah.

Eric (56:52):
Yeah.

Matt (56:53):
Now that goes to our next grouping of Michael Gambon,
Kazrin Sardic versus Jim Carreyfrom the Polar Express-esque
adaptation.

Eric (57:05):
Yeah, right From the Polar Express-esque adaptation, yeah,
from the uncanny Beowulfuniverse.
Truly, yes, I'm struggling, I'mtruly struggling.
I think it has to be Jim Carreyyou think it has to be.

Matt (57:24):
I think it has to be because michael gambon, you know
, I think he's stately and he,he has a power, he has a certain
authority.
For sure he's gonna wield thatcane and beat the shit out of
somebody with it, for sure, buthe's gonna do some damage.
But jim carrey, he's likebouncing off the walls is that?

Eric (57:44):
yeah, he, he, he's.
He's so fucking squirrely, he'slike bouncing off the walls.
Is that?
Yeah, he, he's.
He's so fucking squirrely, he'snimble, he's nimble.
I think that squirrelinessbeats michael gambon's raw power
.

Matt (57:55):
I think it does, I really do think it does, and that pains
me to admit a little bit, butthat is the situation yeah,
that's what these are goodfighters.
Jonathan Jonathan Winters.
Scrooge McDuck, Scrooge McDuck.
Do we even need to talk aboutit?
We don't.
Scrooge McDuck, Scrooge McDuck.
He moves on.

Eric (58:14):
Matt, I think we can go and call a shot Now.
This is right now.
We are just figuring out who'sgoing to be fighting Scrooge
McDuck in the final.

Matt (58:21):
Yes and well, I don't know that we're right there, because
our next matchup is, of course,michael Caine versus Tim Curry.

Eric (58:30):
Now I think Tim Curry, I do not.
No, no, no, no, oh, no, no,sorry, I wasn't finished.
Oh, I'm sorry, I think TimCurry does some serious damage
to Sir Michael Caine.
But what happens when we falldown, Master White, we get back
up.
I think there will be a momentwhere I think it'll be like it

(58:53):
is for most of this matchupwe're like, oh well, we're
watching Tim Curry play with hisfood.

Matt (58:59):
I think, yeah, I think there is that.
I think there's an element ofhim getting beaten around by Tim
Curry.
Who's flaunting it?
Who's who's gesturing to thecrowd?
And that will be his undoing,and then Michael Caine's just
going to rise up and say, allright, now that we've had all

(59:19):
fun.

Eric (59:20):
Yeah, michael Caine has always given me that vibe of
like this dude got into scrapswhen you like.

Matt (59:26):
I feel like Michael.

Eric (59:27):
Caine was like bare knuckle boxing in alleys before
he was an actor.

Matt (59:31):
And his Scrooge in particular is.
Cockney.
Well, is Cockney, but is alsohe's so dead.
I serious that Tim Curry'sshenaniganery cannot compare to
his drive and determination.

Eric (59:51):
And I will say by the end of his movie, Michael Caine has
won the allyship of the Muppets,notably an allyship that Tim
Curry lost at the end of MuppetTreasure.

Matt (01:00:03):
Island.
Well done, Eric.

Eric (01:00:06):
Well done.
I think, yeah, I, I think, Ithink michael cain is gonna be
like he's.
He's gonna get knocked down bytim curry, right, yes?
And then he's gonna be like,looking toward, like he's.
He's gonna be on the verge ofgiving up and then he's gonna
look over and who's gonna bestanding there?
It's gonna be kermit the frog.
Michael, you know we're we'reall out here rooting for you

(01:00:28):
eric really good, kermit thankyou really good kermit take,
take it to the paint.
Michael beat his ass.

Matt (01:00:35):
Take, beat his ass for all the paint, michael, you know I
can't even get there, you gotthere all right.

Eric (01:00:42):
I love the idea of kermit being Michael Caine's cut man in
the corner.
We've only got two matchupsleft Eric.

Matt (01:00:49):
Oh my God, We've got if we're snaking back.

Eric (01:00:53):
Yeah, two matchups before the final.

Matt (01:00:55):
That's what I'm saying.
Two matchups before it's thesemifinal, we've got Michael
Caine versus Scrooge McDuck.
This is tough.
This is tough.
Here's what I think.
Here's what I think.
Eric, tell me what you think.
I think Scrooge McDuck hasweaponry on his side.

(01:01:16):
I think he has tenacity on hisside.

Eric (01:01:20):
Yes.

Matt (01:01:22):
I think Michael Caine's Scrooge is built to withstand
any number of blows.

Eric (01:01:32):
I agree, and I will also say that Scrooge McDuck again,
his superpower is money, but themoral of the Christmas Carol is
that money can take you so far,it can get you so much, but it

(01:01:52):
won't get you everything.

Matt (01:01:54):
Here's what I can see happening, eric.
Here's what I can honestly seehappening.
What I'm about to say, it'sgoing to take this in a dark
direction, okay.

Eric (01:02:02):
But this is a battle royale.

Matt (01:02:03):
Merry Christmas.
Here's Scrooge McDuck.
He's flailing around.
He's beating Michael Caine withbags of gold coins.
Michael Caine has been gettingthe shit kicked out of him.
He's slapping him around andMichael Caine is looking at him
dead eye seriousness.
And at a certain point, scroogeMcDuck is going to start

(01:02:25):
monologuing.
He's going to start talkingabout the true meaning of
capitalism.
He's going to start all thisand when he does that, counting
his ducks before they hatch Fromoff camera, michael Caine,
scrooge, is going to grab him bythe neck and shove his cane
through his eye socket.

(01:02:46):
Oh my God, I love it.
That's what's going to grab himby the neck and shove his cane
through his eye socket.
Oh my God, yeah, I love it.
That's what's going to happen.

Eric (01:02:54):
Michael Caine.
This will be the first truefatality of the battles.

Matt (01:03:02):
Michael Caine will kill Scrooge McDuck.

Eric (01:03:06):
As your co-host, I co-sign and then cook and eat him.
Oh, michael Caine, scrooge, isthat cold.

Matt (01:03:14):
He would 100% Scrooge McDuck will be the bird in the
window.
It will be the biggest bird inthe window.

Eric (01:03:24):
That he serves to Tiny Tim .
It will be the biggest bird inthe window that he serves.

Matt (01:03:26):
This film will end with Michael Caine serving tiny Tim
Scrooge McDuck's ass.

Eric (01:03:32):
Yeah.

Matt (01:03:33):
Boiled.
Yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah, allright, so we got another side of
the bracket to finish, it'sWill.

Eric (01:03:39):
Ferrell, there's more of the gravy than the grave about
you, mcduck.

Matt (01:03:46):
It's Jim Carrey versus Will Ferrell.
Oh man, Now again it's animatedJim Carrey, Animated Jim Carrey
and, I think, versus WillFerrell.
The energy honestly could besimilar, but I think it's
probably that crazy, crazyanimated style that is going to

(01:04:10):
get him over the edge.

Eric (01:04:11):
I think the dead-eyed staring off into the
thousand-yard stare of the PolarExpress eyes will unsettle Will
Ferrell to throw him off hisrhythm, because Will Ferrell
will be coming into this matchfreshly, freshly blooded, having
just beaten Mr Magoo.
I think like Will spenteverything just like throwing

(01:04:35):
haymakers into Mr Magoo and Ithink he's not going to be ready
for Jim Carrey's dead ass eyes.

Matt (01:04:43):
No, and I think those dead ass eyes and I think the the
physicality of the animatedScrooge, coupled with the energy
of Jim Carrey's performance,yeah Uh, gets you one hyper,
hyper fighter.

Eric (01:05:01):
Yes, yes, I think Jim's portrayal will be able to
intimidate Farrell, cause him tomake some costly errors in his
approach in the Octagon, and Ithink that's when Jim Carrey
just hits him with the 12-6,recently legalized.

Matt (01:05:18):
Recently legalized.
I've been told yeah by manysources, and so that leaves us
with Jim Carrey versus MichaelCaine.
Sure, Michael Caine.

Eric (01:05:29):
I think so, matt.
Let's just picture this for amoment.
Let's picture it.
I think it's both Michael Caineand Jim Carrey's Scrooges
walking into this arena, steamcoming off of their bodies like
blood dripping from theirknuckles and canes respectively
now, and here's what we.

Matt (01:05:51):
We do have eric.
Yeah, we always see the, the um, the version of michael kane's
scrooge.
He's always in a big old top,uh, black coat, top hat, and
then, of course, in thenightgown, during the nightgown
scenes.
Yes, but like, when I picturemichael cain's scrooge, that's

(01:06:12):
what comes to mind the top hat,the walking through the street
with the with the cane.
When I picture near, when Ipicture tim, when I picture jim
carrey's, I picture the gnarled,curled up old man, almost a
caricature in a nightcap knobblyfrail, like sinewy old man in a

(01:06:32):
night, which don't discount it,but like he's he's not at his
prime no, certainly not.
And michael cain, let's see,just just to get us, uh, the
picture.
Okay, so he was 55 when heportrayed Ebenezer Scrooge, but

(01:06:53):
I still think what you're goingto get is this Tell it to me, I
can see them walking in there.

Eric (01:06:59):
Yeah.

Matt (01:07:00):
And Michael Caine takes off that jacket, takes off his
undershirt to reveal his Billthe Butcher-esque physique.

Eric (01:07:09):
Yeah, I think if anyone's secretly hiding like fucking
ripped ass, scrooge muscles,it's this Scrooge, it's a
Michael.

Matt (01:07:19):
Caine, and so, while Jim Carrey prepares his wiliness to
get in there, michael Cainebecomes Daniel Day-Lewis.

Eric (01:07:30):
And it should be noted that up until now, Sir Michael
Caine has been using the caneprimarily as his weapon.
It's true.
I think after Scrooge McDowell,this is when he tosses the cane
aside, and it's just he tossesthe cane aside and unleashes the
cane with an INE.

Matt (01:07:49):
Yes, cain and Abel of that's his fists, yeah.
And he just shot and I can justsee Jim Carrey's Scrooge being
like oh no, scrooge being likeoh no, and then just getting
rained down upon by blow afterblow from Michael Caine.

Eric (01:08:12):
Just using that Cockney fucking Bowery Boy street
brawling style.
What day is it boy?

Matt (01:08:19):
What day is it boy?
What day?

Eric (01:08:21):
is this.

Matt (01:08:25):
As he haymaker after haymaker down upon him.

Eric (01:08:29):
He's like fucking Jim Carrey's screws like this what
do I do?
Where will I go?
Are there no prisons?
Boof.
Are there no workhouses?
Boof, bam, bam.
And then I think Michael Cainepulls a bane and snaps him,

(01:08:51):
snaps jim carrey's frail bodyover his knee which, which won't
be as bad because the cgi,he'll be fine he'll snap it into
.

Matt (01:09:01):
Well, because of the cgi, he can become like a bent
paperclip, like he can bend himall the way into a full book,
yeah, and then toss him aside.
God damn, just discard him ashe walks off with his winnings.

Eric (01:09:21):
Oh my God, so the dust has settled.
The dust has settled.
The clock has struck midnight.
Yes, it's over.

Matt (01:09:29):
All three ghosts have visited.

Eric (01:09:32):
Oh, my God.

Matt (01:09:33):
And all three have been bested by Michael Caine Sure,
Michael Caine.
Michael Caine's A MuppetChristmas Carol portrayal of
Ebenezer Scrooge has won ourhumbug bracket.

Eric (01:09:50):
The best and deadliest Scrooge.

Matt (01:09:53):
The best.
I do think he is the bestScrooge Truly I do and I do
think he is the deadliest, as wehave just proven.
And that'll about do it forthis holiday holiday edition of
you didn't ask for this, goddamn, god damn.
We wrapped it up in a bow,didn't we?

(01:10:13):
We did now next time out itcame without ribbons.

Eric (01:10:17):
It came without tags it came with michael cain, sending
them all the way in a bags Nice.

Matt (01:10:24):
Eric, well done in body bags.
Yeah, and next time you hearour voices, we will be picking
out our 2025.
You daft.
Bingo card.

Eric (01:10:36):
That is fucking nuts.
To me it's absolutely insane.

Matt (01:10:39):
Time is not real, that happened yesterday that we are
already back to bingo cardselection, but that'll be our
next episode.
But for this episode I'm afraidit's in the body bag,
absolutely.
So by all means, if you haven'talready, if you're looking for
a Christmas gift for yourself,go to patreoncom slash you

(01:11:03):
didn't ask for this and getyourself a subscription to our
patreon.
We, uh, have two tiers.
The one dollar tier gets youaccess to our discord, where you
can join our community ofyadaft giants and talk amongst
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It's like we're having a greattime.
But if you do four dollars amonth, you will be truly a yada

(01:11:23):
giant.
You will get not only theDiscord access, you'll get our
monthly bonus episodes of Oops,all Tangents, and you'll get 20%
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That is what you get.
But of course, if you havequestions, you want to submit to
us.
We still want them.
Oh, yes, we need them, and youcan submit them to us at

(01:11:45):
youdentaskforthis at gmailcomthat's all spelled out.
Or youdentaskpod that's theletter.
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Etc.
Go, check us out.
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You'll submit the questions and, of course, you can do it
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(01:12:11):
your voice to appear on thisshow.
There's a good way to do it.
You can call the thought lineat 410-929-5329.
Leave us a voicemail.
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Drop us a line, we'll put youon the show.
Yeah, all in all likelihood.
Yeah, yeah, eric, did I missanything with the business?

Eric (01:12:27):
Much like Ebenezer Scrooge .
You gave him the business.

Matt (01:12:31):
Thank you.
Thank you, yes, and you willhave to be back here tomorrow at
9 am.

Eric (01:12:40):
Not a minute later.

Matt (01:12:41):
And not a minute later.
So that'll about do it for thisepisode and this year of you
Didn't Ask for this.
We'll be back in 2025.
But until then, my name isMatthew Shea.

Eric (01:12:56):
My name is Eric Poach and listen, you didn't ask, but I
think we both know.
If you and I auditioned for Achristmas carol, you would 100
be scrooge and I'd 100 be bobcratchit yes, that is maybe
ghost of christmas present dueto the height factor.

Matt (01:13:15):
But like yeah I could see you as, uh, christmas present or
christmas past oh, interesting,I could see it is either
christmas present, I, it suitsyou better because give me your
best.

Eric (01:13:29):
Uh, come in and know me better, sir, better man, I, I
could give you my favorite, myfavorite christmas present line,
like like, uh, oh, what was itfrom the, the alistair sim,
because they even do the scenewhere he opens his robe and you
see, like the, the children's,like this girl is ignorant.
What was like this girl is oncethis boy's ignorance.

(01:13:50):
Beware them both, but most ofall beware this boy.
But, yeah, come in, come in andknow me better, dog, come on,
come into me that's what, that'show you're gonna enchant the
christmas spirit upon me.

Matt (01:14:03):
Come in and know me better , dog come and know me better,
come, come.

Eric (01:14:06):
Come and know me better.
Dude, don't make a big deal,come on.
Come on, have a seat, pop asquat, it's Christmas.

Matt (01:14:16):
Why are you so big?

Eric (01:14:20):
How's the weather up there .
Anyway, let's go hear all theshit your nephew's talking about
you.
Huh, what, wait what?