106 | Sic Semper Philranus

Welcome to 2025! Celebrate the new year with the noblest of activities: the YDAFT Bingo card! Our third addition of the yearly card selection includes our usual predictions for deaths, word of the year, and promises to "get each other into" something. Plus much, much more.
 
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Episode Transcript

Matt (00:00):
eric happy 2025, my friend 2025 still alive, truly.

Eric (00:07):
That is what it is god, we are by, oh, through sheer grit,
piss and vinegar urinate acetumand you daft, enters yet
another calendar year.
We just keep on trucking babywe don't do fiscal in this house
.

Matt (00:26):
No, no we, we just keep, we just keep on going, and I'm
proud of us for that likewiseyes, we and our little
avant-garde edgy.
Yes, brave podcast.
And actually, you know, youknow if it's so edgy you know so

(00:47):
so, like you know, on it, onthe pulse of society and on the
fringes, I want to say as well.

Eric (00:56):
Yes, subversive.

Matt (00:59):
Maybe what we need to do for our listenership is we need
to come up with some euphemismsfor listening to you, daft.

Eric (01:08):
Ooh, I mean, we're basically the Banksy of podcasts
.

Matt (01:13):
Are we not?
Are we, are we not?
I've been saying it and so havethe people.
So, to help the urchins on thestreet, who might who, who
listen to the show, to listen asthey hand out their newspapers
and offer to shine shoesabsolutely.
As they, as they climb up thosechimneys to start a sweeping uh

(01:34):
, they got those airpods in andthey, they need to.
When somebody says oh hey, whatyou're listening to, they don't
want to give away the ghost.

Eric (01:44):
No and in true Cockney rhyming fashion, they say oh you
know, just having a go at theear music, having a go at the in
music Is that what?
You just said the ear music.

Matt (02:00):
Oh, the ear music.

Eric (02:04):
Little bit of the waggly talks between my lobes, Ear,
lobes.
That is God.
I love a euphemism.

Matt (02:16):
That's what I'm saying.
So I think we need to createsome that the Adaf giants out
there can say to one another sothey don't you know as a secret
society?

Eric (02:27):
Yeah, because that's how you build a following is you
make it even more hard todiscover what the show is into
the fucking stratosphere is toadd as many layers of complexity
between potential audiencemembers and our content as

(02:50):
humanly possible I've alwaysthought so.

Matt (02:53):
So what, what euphemism do you think might speak to our
show?

Eric (02:57):
uh, there's, there's, there's some good old, there's
some good, like easy wins offthe bat, like someone goes, like
you there, boy, what, what areyou listening to?
Oh, you didn't ask, gov, likejust straight, like a simple,
like you didn't know the shower,eric that's just the name of
the show no, it almost is thename of the show.

Matt (03:15):
I mean, I'm aware that it's not.
You didn't ask gov, but the the, the main, who's not asking
who's not.
Are these euphemisms, eric?

Eric (03:26):
no, but they are fun.
These.
These are just deflections.
Cockney is basically an entireexercise in deflection okay,
they don't need to be caught.

Matt (03:39):
We I don't know if you know this, eric we are not
cockney, what you know?
Dickensian orphans, you'retalking to pace.
I'm I, indeed, I'm not, sir.
Damn bit sad, isn't it?

Eric (03:52):
indeed, I'm not go um, no, but but you've so, uh, uh, yeah
, yeah, yeah, having a having atouch of the squonk a touch of
the squonk.

Matt (04:04):
Uh, I like that.

Eric (04:06):
Maybe here, maybe we can massage are you because you said
that in the tone of someone whodidn't no no, I like, I like it
a lot.

Matt (04:14):
Let's just punch it up a bit and make it good uh oh yeah,
yeah, I'm consoling the squonk.

Eric (04:25):
Consoling the squonk is very good.
Oh, I'm just consoling thesquonk a bit Gov Again.

Matt (04:30):
I don't know.

Eric (04:31):
The challenge here.

Matt (04:32):
I didn't even do the accent, I just said Gov
Consoling the squonk Gov.
I am consoling the squonkGovernor.
Oi Oi, governor, uh oi oi.
That was as american as I couldsay oi, and I really tried hard
.
My mouth rebelled against theimpulse, uh I'm on.

Eric (04:55):
I'm on facetiming my uncles.
I'm facetiming my uncles.

Matt (05:00):
That's really good, but you're not holding your phone up
um calling the uncles.

Eric (05:05):
Calling me uncles.
Calling me uncles, calling meuncles um, what are you calling
them?

Matt (05:12):
I'm listening to, or what are you listening to?
Oh, it's.
Uh, I'm trying to think of anyerba mate connection um, oh.

Eric (05:20):
My current brand is Rosamonte Seleccion Especial.

Matt (05:24):
Okay, oh, that's what you're saying.
That's the euphemism.

Eric (05:32):
No, that's just what the current Yerba I'm drinking
Rosamonte Seleccion Especial.

Matt (05:40):
Yes.

Eric (05:42):
I'm not just going to drink regular.

Matt (05:43):
Rosamonte.
When somebody asks you whatyou're listening to, you should
give them a euphemism in aforeign language.

Eric (05:47):
Yes, I'm not just going to drink regular Rosemont when
somebody asks you what you'relistening to, you should give
them a euphemism in a foreignlanguage yes, oh, my God, hold
on.
Let me, oh, just listen to alittle.
Das haben sie nicht verlangt.

Matt (05:59):
I was looking up German, you were saying what did you say
again?

Eric (06:03):
The title of our show Is what in German?
Das haben sie nicht verlangt.
One more time, Das haben sienicht sorry, das haben sie nicht
verlangt.

Matt (06:15):
Okay, if we wanted to go the German route, while not
saying the name of the show,I've got Alles in Frage stellen.
Alles in Frage stellen, whichis questioning everything, even
though I'm sure I butchered thatpronunciation.

Eric (06:32):
Uh, here's icelandic hold on I and I can't possibly.
I'm just gonna like hold thatup.
There's no world in which I caneven make an attempt at that,
so I'm just gonna let google doit for me.
Yeah you know, absolutely give,give that a go um yeah, just

(06:53):
give that the old.
Oh, here's the euphemism.
Hey, what are you, what are youlistening?
Oh, just giving it the oldcollege try.
Oh, yeah, just pushing thepeach.
Just drop an eggplant.

Matt (07:06):
Just push into the peach.

Eric (07:12):
That's all I'm doing.

Matt (07:13):
Fucking dumb.
Yeah, that's enough of this.

Eric (07:15):
Let's start the show.
Oh wait, what's our euphemismfor starting the show?
Fuck this.

Matt (07:36):
Well, hello everybody and welcome to you.
Didn't Ask For this the podcastanswering life's least pressing
questions.
My name is Matthew Shea, myname is Eric Poach and Ericic
poach.

Eric (07:46):
here we are in 2025 2025 and I'm kind of mad about it.
Tell me why I'm kind of madabout it because it's 2025.
Blade runner is supposed tohave happened six years ago.
Yep, yep, yep.
And here we are, in out.

(08:07):
You know, present companyexcluded the shittiest timeline.
Absolutely, I think that'sclear I don't have flying cars.
I don't have harrison fordchasing me down to try to
execute me because I'm areplicant.
No, I don't.

Matt (08:23):
I, I don't we don't have any of the good stuff that we
were promised.

Eric (08:28):
I don't have anyone leaving me little origami,
animals and cryptic messagesabout life and the universe like
?

Matt (08:34):
fuck, oh, so you haven't been getting my messages.
It's just a little one of mybits.
That's just a little one of mybits.

Eric (08:44):
It's just a little one of my bits.
Every time I leave a room, mattjust turns to someone and says
it's a shame he won't live.
But then again, who does?

Matt (08:57):
Any whoozle.
It is 2025, which means it istime for our annual tradition of
picking out the.
You didn't ask for this bingocall now.
If you are new to the show,welcome hey how you doing how
you doing.

(09:17):
We have been doing this for thisis our third year, but second
year doing it like as atradition, yeah, of selecting
some things that are going to goon our 2025 bingo cards.
We're going to mark them offthroughout the year and you know
, then, the winner.
We have yet to have a winner.

(09:38):
We had many people submit theirown bingo cards, which you'll
be able to do.
The link will be in thedescription of this episode Yep,
yep, yep.
And, of course, we'll put puton our socials at.
You didn't ask pod.
That's the letter.
You didn't ask pod.
All over the place, um, yes, go.

Eric (09:53):
Oh, I was just gonna say this, this.
This reminds me we should add achannel to the discord, that's
a bingo channel.
So people can like as they, andfor those of you now just
joining us, uh, if you want togive them a plug.

Matt (10:04):
Eric, we walked right into it.

Eric (10:07):
Oh, if you would like to join our discord, head on over
to our Patreon where, for justone dollar a month, you get
access to our discord, and forfour dollars a month you get
access to the discord.
For just four dollars a monthyou get access to the discord,
you get 20 percent off of ourincoming merch and you well, by

(10:30):
this point it should be out.
Oh yeah, damn, for four dollarsa month you get access to the
discord.
Fuck, for just four goddamndollars a month, because this is
the fifth time I've done this.
Take, you get access to thediscord, you get 20 off of our
merch and you get a monthlybonus episode of oops.

(10:53):
All tangents, all tangentsabsolutely you do.

Matt (10:56):
those are all true.
Patreoncom slash.
You didn't ask for this, ofcourse, the link is also in the
description.
So join us.
And yes, idea, eric, we'll makea channel right away to get
everybody going.
But we had lots of peoplesubmit.
The first year, we had a fewpeople play along, last year, a
whole lot more.
Like a dozen or so people sentus cards and maybe more had them

(11:21):
at home, but if I don't knowabout it, I can't keep up with
it.
Yeah, and then we publish ours,of course, so everyone can look
at them.
But so Eric's made some options, I've made some options, eric.
Let's talk through potentialevents of 2025.

Eric (11:40):
Dude the day.
Someone gets a bingo, we gotta,and, as we've, oh, we'll make a
thing out of it.
Oh it's, someone gets a bingo,we gotta, and as we've, oh,
we'll make a thing out of it.
Oh it's gotta be a thing.
We gotta make a whole deal outof it.

Matt (11:50):
As we've gone on, as we've done multiple of these.
Now we've added some definitesquares.
We won't lead with them, but wehave a.
We will name a death, we willpredict a death.
In the first year we did this,I predicted Tony Bennett would
die and then he did.
Yep, you monster.
To be fair, I did game thesystem a little bit.

(12:12):
I knew he was frail.
So there's that there's the wordof the year.
Neither of our words last yearpanned out the word of the year.
Neither of our words last yearpanned out.
And then we have a promise toget.
This was new last year.
To get the other person intosomething Last year I got Eric

(12:32):
into soccer.
Eric failed.

Eric (12:35):
I was supposed to get Matt into Eurovision and it's not.
And I just want to clarify foreveryone.
It is not that Matt doesn'tlike Eurovision, it's that I
failed to tell him when it wasbeing broadcast.

Matt (12:46):
Yes, I tried.
I was ranking the songs andstuff there for a while you had
rimmed him toggy up as yournumber one at one point and he
came in second.
You didn't?
You?
Let me fall off the horse here.
I know I know you weren't thereto tell me to get back on son,
but this year.
So we've got some traditions.

(13:08):
We'll see if new ones comeabout.
But, eric, should we just jumpright in?
Let's just jump right in.
What's the first on your listthere?

Eric (13:11):
first on my list.
So do we want to do our like?
Get our deaths word of the year, get each other into things out
of the way I don't think weshould, I don't think we should
lead with okay, let's, let'ssave that.

Matt (13:21):
Let's see, let's save it, let's, let's warm up a little
bit.

Eric (13:24):
Um, okay, right out the gate, an ai will be elected to a
seat of government, and, and,and mind you, I'm not shooting
for presidencies here, I think.
I think they're like it couldbe some fucking flyover town in
in like the middle of goddamnohio a population of like 200,

(13:46):
they'll all just write infucking chat GPT.

Matt (13:52):
I like that a lot.
I think, uh, I think it ispossible.
So are you thinking that thatwould be like secret?
Like it's revealed, the personwas AI.

Eric (14:00):
Ooh, I would accept Okay.
So yeah, it turns out apolitical candidate was just
like ai, generated and no onewas paying attention.

Matt (14:07):
I would love that I would.

Eric (14:09):
That would be my ideal scenario, honestly.
Um, I think that'd be hilarious, absolutely.
But I will also accept justjust a town, a podunk town, just
saying, ah, fuck it.
Chat, gb, chat, gpt're incharge, just ask them what we
should do about ourinfrastructure.

Matt (14:27):
Yeah, all right.
Now I have a couple ofdifferent conspiracies or
conspiracy adjacent topics.
Love that.
And this first one Eric, it'sgoing to come out, I'm coming
out strong.
Okay, harambe will be revealedto still be alive.
Yes, god Never die.

(14:48):
False flag.
Yes, harambe lives.
Hashtag Harambe lives.

Eric (14:53):
That was a zookeeper in a gorilla suit Harambe lives.
I love that.

Matt (14:57):
That is my big, that is my .
That's where I'm starting.

Eric (15:02):
And that is a very, that is a prediction full of, because
I legitimately believe that'swhere our timelines diverged,
that's where it all started togo awry.
Harambe's death was where itall started going downhill.

Matt (15:15):
So Harambe's still alive.
I'm calling the shot, yep.

Eric (15:18):
Ooh, careful with that phrasing.
Ooh, okay, love thatHilariously.
My very second item here.
Okay, love that Hilariously.
My very second item here.
Okay, an animal previouslythought extinct will be
discovered still alive.

Matt (15:33):
I have something similar to that.
I have something similar tothat.
I like animal thought to beextinct still alive.

Eric (15:41):
I think if Harambe turns out to still be alive, I get
that.
I think that counts for both ofthese.

Matt (15:47):
I mean, it's a big enough event.
Yeah, it's a big enough eventthat it would count for both.
And I think, um, like rightbefore not shortly before
recording this episode, because,spoiler alert, it's actually
still 2024 recording this it wasjust announced that we did it.
The murder hornet has beeneradicated.

(16:09):
It's dead, it's gone.
We killed it.
It could easily come backBecause you're telling me like
how do you even know?
How do you know there's nomurder hornets?
How do you know?
They could be hiding like thecicade.
They could be anywhere, andthen they come back 13 years
from now.

Eric (16:25):
They get discovered in a McDonald's on a bus.

Matt (16:28):
Absolutely, oh don't worry , I've got a Luigi-related one
oh thank God.
So I'm going to skip my nextone, because you kind of teed me
up, for melting ice caps reveala partially preserved dinosaur.
Love it, love the shit out ofthat.
I'm actually excited for it tohappen.

(16:51):
I am stoked for that, andthat's when we say, hey, you
know what All those fossil fuelswere worth it.

Eric (17:01):
That's when Exxon comes out and says you're welcome
Someone owes us an apology wouldbe stoked beyond belief.
I will also say this it was astrong.
I had to actively keep myselffrom getting too into the bummer
zone with a few of these ohsure, I got to some that are a
little bit bummery, because it'sthe balancing act of what I

(17:23):
think will happen versus what Ihope will happen.
Okay, all right.
Which also tees me up for thisone Someone will get murdered by
a drone, and I don't mean aboutlike a war drone.

Matt (17:35):
I was going to say, Eric, that's happening right this very
minute.

Eric (17:38):
I'm talking about, like the fucking Jersey drones.
I'm talking like some, or adrone will be used like a, a
commercial home drone will beused as a home drone.

Matt (17:51):
Home drone will kill someone.
I like it.
I love it.
I want some more of it.
Now.
This one is based on aconspiracy theory my dad
believes in.
Okay, what?
This is something my dad youdon't believe it.

Eric (18:03):
But no, no, no, dad, super does, I have come around to it
something.

Matt (18:05):
My dad you don't believe it, but your dad, super, does I
have come around to it.
When my dad first suggested this, I said okay, but now I've come
around to it and maybe you havetoo, and you just haven't
realized it.
I'm going to suggest that thereis a conspiracy that will be

(18:25):
revealed around student driverbumper stickers, slash magnets
being fake, some sort of massdistribution of new driver
learning to drive.
Be kind share these kind ofbumper stickers.
I have seen a huge influx ofthem, they're seemingly

(18:50):
everywhere, and I've taken alook at some of the people
behind the wheel and I don'tmind telling you they don't look
very studious.
I'm suggesting there is acompany out there purposely
selling these stickers, knowingthat these people are not
students, knowing they're notselling them to educators, and
for what purposes, I'm not quitesure I was going to ask.

Eric (19:14):
Is it so they get treated nicer?
Is it so they're less likely toget pulled?

Matt (19:18):
over.
I think there's all kinds ofangles.
Yeah, the cops might turn ablind eye to it, or let them off
with a warning, or you'llyou'll get out of their way, or
you won't tailgate them, orwhatever the fuck I mean, I know
there are people who straightup put baby on board in their
thing just to keep people fromdriving aggressively near them
that I mean there you go.

Eric (19:38):
That's what I'm saying that is exactly what I'm saying
you got a baby on board.

Matt (19:42):
I know I'm baby.

Eric (19:42):
I'm the baby on board.
I know I'm baby.
I'm the baby on board, okay.

Matt (19:47):
All right If you say so.
Do you remember that time incollege we were driving back
from a party and uh, we are.
Dd was yes and uh, or, I'msorry, you were the.

Eric (19:59):
I was going to say, if this is the story I'm thinking
of, I was.
I was going to say, if this isthe story I'm thinking of, I'll
tell you who wasn't driving thatnight, who I saw arguing with a
tree in the front yard.

Matt (20:10):
Yes, we are thinking of the same story.
He had quite a bit to drink andhe did fight a tree, but then
you drove us home and the wholeway home.

Eric (20:21):
I need to correct the record here.
Sorry, matt, didn't fight atree.
Argued with yes that's true.

Matt (20:30):
uh, that's true.
He did debate a tree, yes, um,and then you were driving his
home and I viscerally rememberthis because he just had a trash
can that he was like head downin the whole time, but every
five seconds you would hit theslightest of bumps and he'd go.
Precious cargo, poach, preciouscargo.

Eric (20:54):
Yes, that is burned into my memory.
That night is just seared intomy memory.

Matt (21:01):
It was a wild night.

Eric (21:02):
You would say it into the bucket.

Matt (21:05):
And then I brought him home and I had to change him
because he was like I'm readyfor bed and he put his arms up
and I was like, okay, I didn'tknow I was doing this tonight,
he, he surrendered that.

Eric (21:18):
Uh, I will all say, uh, this is one of my most beloved
memories.
He, he, he, he.
He took me.
He was in the living room.
He was sitting down.
He could not stand up.
He was.
He was like I need to get up, Ineed to get, we need you, we
need to get poach, poach, I needyou.

Matt (21:33):
I was like, I was like yes , what, what, what?

Eric (21:35):
I had already told him I was driving home.
So I'm like what more could youwant?
Tell me I can't do this.
What he's like, I need you totell me I can't do it.
I was like you cannot do this,you.
You can't fuck you poach heneeded an enemy to thwart.
He like he reached that point,he and I cannot stress this he

(22:00):
needed some a foe he.
He needed a foe.
He was so shit-faced andcombative in the healthiest way
imaginable, because it was justgetting me to tell him he can't
do it.
So he could say fuck you, poach, and get into the car Don't
tell me what I can't do.
But him also arguing with atree.
He was an absolute angel witheveryone else.

Matt (22:23):
Anyway, moving on, next on my list is Timothy Chalamet.
Oh Will be arrested, but fornoble reasons.

Eric (22:35):
Ooh, I was hoping for that arrested, but you know.

Matt (22:39):
Arrested for, you know, public protest.

Eric (22:42):
Yeah.
Or you know something of thelike, or something of that like
or something of that ilk,something of that ilk I have
genetically modified pets willstart being sold.
Oh, I hate that.

Matt (22:55):
Yeah, I hate it, I hate it Bespoke pets.

Eric (23:00):
Cause it's a hop skip and a jump to like, like we're,
we're within the next five years.
Eugenics is what it is Like,truly, gattaca is going to
become a thing.
Oh, I know, but it's.
I envision it kind of like ifyou've seen the sixth day, yes,
With Sir Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Matt (23:18):
I have not, but I'm culturally aware of it when he's
getting his dog at thebeginning of the movie.

Eric (23:24):
There's like a service that clones pets.
We're like, oh did, did Skippydie?
Bring them right back home.
I hate it.
And like they're like oh, wecan modify them.
You want softer teeth, no bark.
Like I think that will.
We've been doing that to dogsfor thousands, it's true, but
we're going to.
But when I say geneticallymodified, I mean like we're

(23:44):
CRISPR technology, fuckingediting genes.

Matt (23:47):
Absolutely.
You know, it's horrifying andthat is the timeline we live in,
is it not?
Is it not?
Is it not All right?
The next thing, since Imentioned it already, I've got a
Luigi related one.
Oh, luigi, now I am not sure inthe timeline of this.
Luigi, now I am not sure in thetimeline of this.
I don't know that any sort oftrial will actually begin for

(24:08):
Luigi in 2025.
But if it does, he'll be freedon jury nullification.
Hell, yeah, that's myprediction.
We are not endorsing one way orthe other, no, uh, any sort of

(24:29):
behavior.
I am merely making a predictionon the outcome of a trial.
Yeah, all right, how about wemove on?
What's your next one?
Uh?

Eric (24:35):
it will be revealed that a high profile billionaire has
hunted human beings for sport.

Matt (24:41):
Oh eric I love it, I love it, I love it, and I think it
has happened.

Eric (24:46):
Oh, I, we.
I think we've had thisintellectual exercise before,
but the short version is thinkof how much money it would
require to hunt human beings forsport and get away with it.
I guarantee you Elon Musk hasthat kind of money a hundred
times, of course he does.

Matt (25:03):
So the?
Uh, I think that is verypossible.
I think that's very possible.
It's already happened and wecould learn of it.
And, um, my next thing, eric,let's go a little lighter.
We've been going a little darkhere for a little bit.
Okay, I'm going to talk about astaple of television.
And he's coming back, baby he,he's coming back, he's.

(25:26):
It hasn't been gone very long,he only retired a couple years
ago.
But maury povich, oh maury,maury, coming back maury povich
will return with tastelessly anew show called tuesdays with
maury that is a needle you wantto thread tuesdays with maury
maury povich is gonna say whatmaury, could you ask for?

(25:49):
What maury could you ask for?

Eric (25:52):
oh man, that's what I'm suggesting I, I, I've loved that
good, uh, I have uh also on aon a lighter note.
I'll have to circle back to one.
I skipped just to keep it onthe light note, and this was.
Alyssa brought this one up tome and I'm like cosign, we're
going to start seeing a movementwith Norwegian slow TV coming

(26:17):
to major networks and streamingservices.

Matt (26:21):
Are you familiar with slow TV?
No, I don't believe I am.

Eric (26:23):
It's heavily popular in Norwayway.
I'm getting that impression.
It is basically like long form,like slice of life television,
but taking to the absolute, mostextreme, where it's just like a
half hour of watching someoneand this is this airs on their
television networks.
This isn't tiktok, this is noton Instagram.

(26:43):
This is we're just watching,like someone's grandmother knit
for like a half hour.

Matt (26:49):
Interesting.

Eric (26:50):
That's.
I think that will start seeinga broader audience in America.

Matt (26:55):
I want to see someone in America try to recreate
Gogglebox.
I want the American Gogglebox.
Oh my God, dude, gogglebox isso popular in the UK and I have
to send you some clips Idesperately want.
I love Gogglebox.
Gogglebox is a TV show ofpeople watching TV.

(27:18):
It is incredible, doesn't itsound shitty?
It isn't.

Eric (27:28):
But I can already see the appeal.

Matt (27:28):
it's like already love saying goggle box it's like the
same group of people who youliterally are.
Just it's.
It is a.
They are watching the tv andthere's a camera pointed back at
them and they are justbickering and talking and it's
so good.
There's a great um goggle boxcompilation of them of like
goggle box responding to thecrowns like season three, like

(27:54):
with the first season with diana.
That is so good.
That video is so good and I'msending it to you yes, please um
, so yeah, in america.
You know what?
I'm putting it on my listamerican goggle box american
goggle box.

Eric (28:08):
I just love saying goggle box absolutely.

Matt (28:11):
Should we be?
Should we pepper in one of ourum, our things?

Eric (28:15):
but you have a speaking of first well, I was gonna say,
speaking of america, someone isgoing to majorly deface the
statue of liberty wow, yeah,that kid that killed my vibe
eric.

Matt (28:28):
Oh, I hope it did.
That was dark yeah because wewere talking about goggle box.
We're talking about goggle boxnow you're talking about lady
liberty being def, even moredefaced than she already has
been.
Am I right if it was?

Eric (28:43):
like, am I right?
Got him political.
Um, I would love it if, like ifit was something like someone
just drew a giant mustache on.
I'm surprised, in the howeverlong that statue has been here,
yeah, that no one has attemptedto put a mustache on it, eric
it's pretty tall, but like Idon't know if you've seen, how

(29:07):
creative taggers and andgraffiti artists can get it's
pretty tall unless you'refucking spider-man, and even
then, even in the latest twogames, you still can't even
access it.

Matt (29:18):
It seems like it's a bummer.
It's stupid, really a deep flaw.
It's one of the only flaws ofthose two games, if I'm being
honest with you.
Now, eric, if we're beingpolitical, we're being political
.

Eric (29:28):
If we're being political.

Matt (29:29):
I have one that's a little political.
I'm going to say it.
We didn't talk about this.
You might not like that.
I'm going to suggest this.
Oh man, there will be anassassination attempt on
Puxatawney Phil.
Oh my God.

Eric (29:51):
That's right.
There are some institutions inthis country, young man, that
you cannot attack.

Matt (29:59):
The inner circle being one of them.

Eric (30:01):
Yeah.

Matt (30:03):
I, of course, being a Pennsylvanian, a native
Pennsylvanian, am well versed inthe lore of Puxatawney Phil,
and they are no stranger tocontroversy.

Eric (30:13):
Yeah.

Matt (30:13):
And this, this will be.
There will be some sort ofheinous act, god, some sort of
heinous attempt on the life ofPuxatawney Phil, a groundhog
well over 100 years old.

Eric (30:26):
I would pay any.
I do not.
I want no harm to come to thisanimal, but what I will say is
this I can think of nothingfunnier on this planet than the
image of a gunman emerging fromthe crowd, fucking, taking At
gobbler's knob.
Fucking, taking aim at Phil,and then one of the keepers

(30:51):
tackling phil, tackling phillike a secret service agent and
then they.

Matt (30:58):
Then they put they have to put a big fake square bandage
on the side of his ear and theguy probably yells sick Semper
Phil Rannis or something likethat.
Or some shit like that.
But I'm serious, nobody getshurt.
This is coming off acontroversial year because, I
don't know if you heard, in themonths following Groundhog Day,

(31:20):
many people don't think aboutPlexiton Phil, but I do.

Eric (31:23):
I do, I check up on him.

Matt (31:25):
And guess what, eric, this is true.
You can look this up.

Eric (31:29):
He's a flat earther.

Matt (31:32):
Plexitani, phil sired two groundhogs this year and that
has never been recorded before.
And so the inner circle havesaid don't you worry, we're
getting rid of those fuckinggroundhogs.
They will not inherit theirfather's throne.
Phil will not be threatened bysome usurper child.

Eric (31:55):
This is real Eric.
This is really incredible.
I'm just imagining.
Fucking I can never say hisname.

Matt (32:03):
Puxatawney Phil.

Eric (32:05):
Puxatawney Phil, just fucking going full.
There will be blood.
Bastard in a basket.
Bastard in a basket the yes,absolutely.

Matt (32:17):
I think that's true at his little resort that he lives in,
because of course I don't know,if you're aware of this he
doesn't live at gobbler's knob,eric he, he he's only put in
gobbler's knob the morning ofgroundhog's day, that's it I
should have left you in thathole I found you in.

(32:37):
You're nothing but anafterbirth.
God, there will be blood's.
A great movie and I have to seeit again.

Eric (32:46):
It's so good, I could talk like Daniel Day-Lewis.

Matt (32:51):
So, Eric, why don't we pepper in now what we're going
to get each other into?

Eric (32:57):
Okay.

Matt (32:57):
Now I'll go first, because I've already said mine on this
podcast.
I said it months ago and I feela little bit bad, but I already
said I was doing it and you'vestarted on this path.
I'm getting you into Survivor.

Eric (33:11):
Yeah, which is a goddamn shame because I am.
It's an instant win for youpretty much at this juncture.

Matt (33:17):
It's going to be.
But let me be clear.
You're saying this because youjust completed watching your
first ever season of Survivor.
Yes, season 47, the most recentseason.
You watched it live with Alyssa.
I'm very proud of you.
But this is New Era Survivorand New Era Survivor is still
fucking finding its footing.
I'm sorry, jeff, it still isnot up to snuff with the Golden

(33:44):
Age.
You don't know the lore.
You don't know what yearsconstitute the Golden Age.
You don't know the lore.
You don't know what I evenrefer.
What years constitute theGolden Age?
No, eric, I'm getting you aplaylist of much must-watch
seasons.
We're gonna, maybe we'll do anOops, all Tangents, just about
the lore of.

Eric (34:00):
Survivor.

Matt (34:00):
I would love that Because there's context you need to know
Like I want you to come overand I'll give you a PowerPoint
presentation.
I have seen every single secondof Survivor that has ever been
published and, up until theystopped making it for reasons
unknown, I've seen everyPonderosa video and I bet you

(34:25):
don't even know what a Ponderosavideo is.
When you get voted off theisland after the point of the
merge, when you would otherwisebe in the jury, you start living
on Ponderosa, another islandnearby, where they keep
everybody in nice little villas.
That's cute and it used to be.
When you got voted out and youwent to Ponderosa, they made a

(34:46):
little.
I just got voted off Survivorand you went to ponderosa.
They made a little.
I just got voted off survivorand this is my ponderosa video
is how everyone started and youyou got to see them arrive, that
you did the weigh-in, you gotto see their first meal and
everybody airs their dirtylaundry and then the next day
they're playing ukuleles or someshit and I love that it was.

(35:07):
It was very nice and theystopped fucking doing them on
the YouTube channel and I don'tknow why, and they need to bring
it back.
Okay, it's just a little rantabout the Ponderosa videos of
survivor, and this is what I'mtalking about.
So like, yes, you did watch aseason of survivor and it
delights me that you seem tohave genuinely enjoyed it.
It gripped me.

(35:27):
You said to me so this is,we're recording this the day
after the current season endedand you are watching it the next
day Cause you've you've got onthe Hulu or whatever, and you
texted me to say this is thefirst time in my life.
I am genuinely eagerlyanticipating watching a, a
finale of reality television.

Eric (35:48):
Yes.

Matt (35:49):
And it warms my soul, not the concept of you getting into
a reality TV program, theconcept of you getting into
Survivor.

Eric (36:01):
Yeah, I understand, that is, I see you.
Okay, so it's not an instantgreen square for you yet.

Matt (36:09):
I don't think it's an instant.
I want you to be able to talkto another Survivor superfan
with some level of confidence.
I want a buff.
You want a buff, I want a buff.
We'll get you a buff.
I don't even have a buff,although.

Eric (36:23):
I did get my mom a buff.

Matt (36:24):
I got my mom a buff as a Christmas gift for you, you,
although I did get my mom a buff.
I got my mom a buff as aChristmas gift for you.
You didn't ask for this.
Buffs, maybe.
Maybe we can get them.
You didn't ask for this buffs,maybe we can get them buffs.
So that's mine Now.
I know it feels a little like agimme because you're already
starting down the path, but Istated months ago that this was
going to be my bingo square.

(36:46):
You did, but yours remains amystery to me.

Eric (36:52):
Well, not too much of a mystery, matt, because I'm
doubling or nothing.
I am getting you intoEurovision Now, eric.
I thought we discussed this.
Did we?
Discuss this Discussed the Okay, hey, because I really want to
talk about Eurovision with you.

Matt (37:04):
Okay, all right, eric, if you feel that strongly about it,
I do.
If you feel that strongly aboutit, it's either that or metal.
And I'll be trying either wayNow.
Metal is different than punkthat.

Eric (37:24):
I've already planted the seeds by giving you a folk punk
playlist.
Yes, and I've still got alittle ways to go.

Matt (37:29):
I've already planted the seeds by giving you a folk punk
playlist.
Yes and I, I, I've still got alittle ways to go.
I'm not.
I've progressed since we'velast discussed.

Eric (37:34):
I now listen to the Jesse Wells playlist you sent me.
I listened.
It's my daily, it's like whenI'm driving to work.

Matt (37:39):
I added two more songs.
He's got a new album, his third, one of 2024.
Tight all creatures, one of2024.
Tight All Creatures, great andSmall.
It's just his most recent tight.
It's like six tracks.
It's like a mini album, but Iput Autumn on there, which is
very good, and his song Turtles,which I just adore because it's
such a delight.
Also, I own a turtle, so youknow it's special and close to

(38:03):
my heart.
How about that?
Okay, eric, but you got to dothe work.
I'm serious, we'll do.
I am prepared to have you overhere and be like, sit down, I'm
starting a powerpoint and likehere are the survivors you need
to know okay, okay I also.

Eric (38:19):
Are you already into the traders, because that's about to
start and there's a lot of thisis super into the traitors and
we, we everyone should watch thetraitors.

Matt (38:28):
It is the best worst show ever made.
It's so stupid and so bad andevery second of it is a delight.

Eric (38:34):
Yeah, we've been watching house of villains.

Matt (38:36):
Yes, Well, I I know half that cast from watching the
challenge with Lindsay.
Lindsay got me into thechallenge.

Eric (38:42):
Alyssa also loves it.
Oh, if it's reality, aly.
If it's reality, alissa is likea reality show okay.

Matt (38:50):
Well, we gotta get a list of injured spirits with fucking
reality tv.
We gotta get alissa into some,like you know, worthwhile
television.

Eric (38:55):
Um, but like you know, I mean she also watches a bunch of
work that she doesn'texclusively watch reality we
gotta get, we gotta get alissaon the right path.

Matt (39:04):
You know that's what I'm worried about what I'm saying is
what I'm hearing is I'm havereason to be worried that Alyssa
doesn't watch anything with ascript and a cinematographer.
She do, she do, okay, all right, okay.
So I'm getting you a survivorand that's that.

Eric (39:23):
Okay, I'm getting you into Eurovision.

Matt (39:24):
There we go.

Eric (39:25):
God help me.

Matt (39:29):
I'm going to get you into the greatest reality show
competition and you will get meinto one of the most popular
real competitions.
How about that?
Yeah, there it is.
I have a bit of a sad one next.
Oh, it feels like almost agiven, given the history.
Okay 2025 is a big year forgamers, big, big year.
Okay, 2025 is a big year forgamers, big big year Because

(39:52):
2025 is the scheduled release ofGrand Theft Auto 6.
And it has been a minute.
I believe 2013 is when GTA 5came out.
Yeah so it has been a long timecoming and I'm going to say, say
it's gonna be a little longer.
That shit will be delayed to2026.

(40:12):
That's my prediction andthey'll deliver they'll deliver
well listen, when rockstardelays a game and they come out
with it whenever that is, I feellike everybody, everybody is
happy, because when they say itain't ready, it's not up to our
standards.
I believe them I would alwaysrather that be the case I would
always rather that be the case,but I'll be bummed.

(40:33):
I'll be bummed I'll be bummed.

Eric (40:35):
Uh, speaking of bummers, I have there will be a high
profile genetic identity theft.
Walk me through that, eric.
So intriguing.
So this kind of ties back tothe horrific eugenics Gattaca,
yes, coming future.
I think someone is going to usesomeone and I'm sure this is

(40:57):
already happening.
That's why I added high profilegenetic identity theft.
Using someone's DNA, blood,hair spit, what have you to?
Essentially steal theiridentity and access shit that
can only be got to by biometrics.

(41:18):
I'm talking about stuff likesomeone's going to have all
their shit stolen from a Swissbank account because someone got
a hold of their blood and hair.
Alright okay.
Someone's going to pass themoff themselves off as someone
else using okay, genetictrickery all right, I like it.

Matt (41:36):
I mean, I hate it, it terrifies me, but I like it.
And you know what eric we've?
We've had some bummers, sohere's another one.
This is one I wrote down atsome point during the year.
What it means I can't tell you,but what I wrote down was
slinky linked to cancer.
Slinky linked to cancer, whatdoes it mean?

(41:58):
How could it work?
I don't know.
But it's not for me to say itfalls downstairs.

Eric (42:06):
It thins your hair.
Everyone loves a slinky, oh godeveryone loves oh my god fuck
cancer.
God damn fuck slinkies everyoneloves this.

Matt (42:25):
I'll give an actual.
Everyone loves a slinkyeveryone everyone.

Eric (42:29):
I think about that shit non-stop.
Like what is the thing?
Like that we played with on theregular that, like 50 years
from now, people like can youbelieve they gave play-doh to
children?

Matt (42:41):
oh god, I just I had some play-doh earlier this year as a
fidget toy.
Uh, it's great solution, yesand it's silent.

Eric (42:49):
Um, here's one.
This one is actually I, I, I,this one I got.
I want this to just be the case.
It would delight.
It would be one of those likeoh, what tell me?
Uh, new tolkien notes slashstories will be discovered.
They're gonna find some, somejrr manuscripts rattling around

(43:10):
in someone's garage.

Matt (43:12):
And Eric, I have one in the similar vein.
Ooh, the winds of winter willset an official publication date
.

Eric (43:21):
Ooh, shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss, you'll landamong the stars.

Matt (43:25):
Really, truly, yes, it's a long shot at this point.

Eric (43:29):
It's sad to say.
We've had topics such asgenetically engineered pets,
billionaires hunting people forsport, yet somehow that feels
like the longest shot ofanything here.

Matt (43:41):
Yes, in case anyone is unfamiliar, the Winds of Winter
is the sixth planned book in theSong of Ice and Fire series.

Eric (43:48):
Little story you might have heard of it.

Matt (43:50):
Song of Ice and Fire series, better known to you as
Game of Thrones if you don'tknow what Song of Ice and Fire
is, and so that book has stillnot come out, despite it being I
think 2012 was when Dance withDragons came out, I think, so
it's been a minute.
A whole series of televisionprogram adaptation ended, uh,

(44:12):
and there are supposed to beseven books.
So, yeah, so hopefully it comesout.

Eric (44:16):
Have I told you my theory about this?
Tell me.
My theory is a that what we sawin the show is what he has
written.
It is 100 like and he'schanging it uh, uh and then.
But because the writers of theshow fumbled the fucking landing
of that so hard because, theydid a.
What was it like?
A six episode final it wassomething like that six or eight

(44:39):
yeah if they had given it theappropriate number of episodes,
given everything, the time itwas due, it would have landed
yeah I think much moresuccessfully, but they tried to
cram all of it in to such anunmanageable space that they
absolutely blundered it.
Now everyone hates those plotpoints and that ending, and now
george is like well, fuck now,because rewrite the whole

(45:00):
fucking thing to just go nerdyfor a hot second here.

Matt (45:04):
Danny, going insane is not out of the realm of possibility
, is not even inappropriate.
She they just didn't giveenough air time to her spiral so
it seemed like it came out ofnowhere it's like she woke up
one day and she's like all right, I think I'll kill everyone now
so the, it makes total sensefor a targaryen to have ended up

(45:26):
there, but the, you know, itjust didn't.
It just wasn't well writtenbecause those two idiots wanted
to move on to their nextConfederate series, which didn't
even happen anyway.

Eric (45:37):
No, yeah, they wanted they .
They fucking, they fucked overGame of Thrones so they could
get to writing for Star Wars.
And then they fucked the dog sohard on that that Star Wars was
like no, no, we don't want anypart of you, which good Anyway.
I wouldn't want to hire them no.

Matt (45:53):
Look at their resume.
Yeah, anyway, back to our list.

Eric (45:57):
Here we go, ready for this .
Tell me Lab grown meat entersmass production.
When I say lab grown, I meanindistinguishable from, from
like actual meat.
I hate it here.
Well, here's what.
I want that so badly.
I want that so, so badly.
But unfortunately, lab grownmeat enters mass production and

(46:20):
the meat industry respondsviolently.
So you're saying you would bepro replacing the meat industry
with non-meat, with oh my god if, if they could give me fake
meat that is indistinguishedfrom a cow, I would switch to
that instantaneously.
One of the when we talk aboutlike carbon emissions and like
terrible shit for the planet,the meat industry.

(46:42):
Far and away.

Matt (46:43):
Yes, yes, we all know about the cow feces yeah it, it
is like is truly like.

Eric (46:49):
It is so fucking terrible for our, for our planet.
And like if I could, if I couldhave the ability to eat a and
and that, and just like morallyknowing like, oh, I can have a
steak and nothing had to die tomake this dope okay, well, we're
not 100 on the same page there,but that's fine.

Matt (47:10):
Uh, the I'll just say there's some terrible things
that happen in the meat industry.
Um, that's true.
I also subscribe to the theorythat humans have always eaten
meat, since the day we arrivedon this planet, and always will
oh yeah, no, no, like it's twothings can be true.
Yes, I need protein, but also,and and before I can hear the

(47:31):
letters coming from the vegansand vegetarians meat is not the
only source of protein.
We know that.

Eric (47:35):
Yeah, that's what I, that's what I'm getting at.
It's like if I can get thatdietary requirement from a
substance that is, in this,distinguishable from animal meat
but didn't require the meatindustry to exist.
Fuck.

Matt (47:49):
Yeah Well, I think that's very noble of you and I also
think we'll be having another,linked to cancer, in our next
bingo square.
I'm going to go a little closeto this date, a little topical,

(48:15):
a little a little.
In january 2025, tiktok will berescued within 24 hours of the
ban.
Oh yeah, I am putting a timelimit on it two days before I
don't get the square.
Okay, 24 hours day.
Okay, I day of ban.

Eric (48:28):
I absolutely agree that I almost had that on my list um.

Matt (48:30):
I was like bootleg tiktok was, was going to be one of my.
I mean could happen, could,could very well happen.
I mean this, it yeah all right,what do you got, eric?
What's your next one?

Eric (48:41):
here we go.
Ben and jerry's releases pizzaflavored ice cream.
Do they not have it?
I think they've tried.
They were like we've tried.
Well, sorry, I might gettinglike be getting my wires crossed
, because I know that, um, jellybelly, when they were doing, uh
, the, the birdie bots, likeevery flavored beans, uh thing,

(49:03):
the, the flavor profile they gotfor the vomit flavored jelly
bean was from a failed pizzaflavored jelly bean that they
tried to do.
I don't know if Ben and Jerry'shas has tried it.
I've had pizza flavored icecream uh, from little baby's ice
cream in Philadelphia, which,if you ever get a chance, check
that shit out.
They're amazing.
But I would love it Just justjust a little fun little call

(49:26):
shop Like Ben and Jerry's wouldlove it.

Matt (49:27):
Just just just a little fun little call shop like, yeah,
ben and jerry's like fuck it.
Yeah, I did a quick search justnow and found that they do have
ice cream pizza but they do nothave.
I'm search, I'm on ben andjerry's website and doing the
search in all their flavors.
There are no results for pizzait'll be pizza flavored, so they
do not have a pizza flavoredice cream it'll be called mama

(49:49):
crema with it I hope okay, allright, uh, eric, are you
familiar with the world'slargest ball of twine?
I am, in fact it's in caulkercity, kansas, not to be confused
with the largest ball of twinein minnesota, famously uh put

(50:10):
into song by Weird Al Yankovic.
I'm talking about the actualworld's largest ball of twine,
cocker City, kansas.
It's going to be stolen, eric.
Someone's going to steal, thelargest ball of twine, which
weighs over 22,000 pounds.
But, somebody will steal it.

Eric (50:29):
Yes, this one was also an Alyssa contribution.
I also don't.
I and this is going to be themost subjective bingo square I
have ever put forth.

Matt (50:43):
Okay, Maybe next year we should put out a call for
listener submissions.
Ooh, we should, we should.
We should put out a call forlistener submissions oh, we
should, we should, we should.

Eric (50:49):
Oh yes, 2025 will be bisexual as fuck.
Okay, I mean I feel like 2024was already there I don't know,
24 pretty bisexual I don't knowhow you judge that, but bisexual
as fuck, we'll know.

Matt (51:08):
We'll know it when we see it.
We'll know it when weexperience it everyone will be
sitting.

Eric (51:13):
Weird everyone will have multiple beverages in front of
them at any given point.

Matt (51:17):
We'll know it when we experiment with it.
I'm curious to see what happensare you ready for a word of the
year, Eric?

Eric (51:29):
Oh, I'm ready.
Okay, what is your word of theyear.
My word of the year, skibbity.

Matt (51:36):
Skibbity.

Eric (51:37):
Yes.

Matt (51:38):
As in Skibbity Ohio, riz Correct, but just Skibbity,
skibbity.
Okay, I want a similar rootwith like a quote unquote, new
word.

Eric (51:50):
Okay, are you ready?
I'm ready.
Corpo-cuck, you have the betteranswer.
I am all in behind corpo-cuck.

Matt (52:01):
The word of the year 2025, corpo-cuck.
You heard it here first and youmight be asking asking what
does it mean?
Uh, you could say something.
I, if I were to use it in asentence, I'd say oh yeah, my
co-worker jerry, he's a realcorpocuck well, you know, you

(52:22):
know the, you know the, the, the, you know cuck cry compose.
Man, we are dancing that line.

Eric (52:36):
Huh, hey look, two things can be true Murder shouldn't
happen, and it can be funny, itcan definitely be funny, luigi
Mangione, anyway, luigi, oh, theskits that I've seen online.

Matt (52:52):
they, oh, every single one of them is so delightful, um,
ah, it's so good anyway, uh,here's an uplifting story.
Okay, a correction from whatone of the greatest sins of 2024
, joey chestnut, will return tothe nathan's hot dog eating
competition.
God, and july 4th can happenonce again.

(53:13):
Yes, yes, god, yes, without uh,who?
Let me ask you do you rememberwhat happened at the nathan's
hot dog contest this year?

Eric (53:22):
yeah, it was because you were the one who told me no, no,
no, I I don don't mean JoeyChestnut not being allowed to
compete, I mean because hedidn't compete.

Matt (53:30):
Do you remember what happened?

Eric (53:31):
Oh no.

Matt (53:32):
I didn't watch.
Of course you didn't.
No one did.
Why would we?
We're not watching for the?
For 10 plus years we have notbeen watching the hot dog eating
competition.
We have been watching to seehow many of the damn dogs, how
many of them glizzies, he could,how many glizzies chestnut

(53:53):
could guzzle.
Okay, and what did happen?
I happen to know this.
I forget the exact number.
I think it might've been 64 wasthe winning number in of hot
dogs in this year's Nathan'scompetition and the guy did it
in 10 minutes, joey does thateven touch Joey, joey?

(54:14):
Chestnut.
That same year, there, thatsame, that same day, did an
eating competition in a hot dogeating competition, and I think
Texas.
That was only five minutes longand he ate 63.
Suck a dick, nathan.
So like, come on, I like tothink that we all know who's the

(54:34):
king.
The king stays king.
The king stays king.

Eric (54:37):
I also like.
I just like imagining that theNathan's hot.
Once they got they kicked JoeyChestnut.
It was so unwatched that youhad to like find like courtroom
sketches of the hot dog contest.
It's like the closest you'llget to actual coverage of this
event.

Matt (54:53):
Oh man.

Eric (54:54):
Now.

Matt (54:54):
I'm down to it, eric, I've got.
I've got two left.
Oh, I've got four left.

Eric (54:59):
OK, besides the death, I yeah, including my death I have
three left.
Ok, I have to two of theregulars, and then I have a
fucking.
I labeled this one as a HailMary.
I'll save that for dead last.

Matt (55:11):
Okay, here's my next one.
This is one that I wrote downat some point throughout the
year.
Again, don't know what it means.
Someone tries to cancel whitebread.
Okay, I don't know what, Idon't know how, but I don't know
how.
There you go.
Why, there you go.

Eric (55:27):
I don't want to scribe motivate anyone.
But yeah, no, I'll, I'll standbehind that.
There you go.
Oh, here we go, just casuallydropping this.
A new nation will be formed,sure, yeah, just put it on.
Why not?
Why not like it?

Matt (55:39):
truly, that's at this point at this point, you know
like we're all on our way out,aren't we?
So there might not be democracyin 10 months, so why not?
Yeah, why not Get in on it?
Let's us make one.

Eric (55:56):
We could form a splinter nation from Sealand, absolutely.

Matt (56:00):
Yes, we'll just pull up in a kayak and say we are now a
nation, new Sealand, we too area nation yes uh, I'm gonna say
this has happened once before,but it will happen again.
Simon and garfunkel will reunitefor one night only.
I think it is a real hail, mary, they fucking hate each other.

(56:20):
So, um, I don't know if youknow this, but the last time
they reunited, which was like inthe fucking 90s, I think, um,
they, I, I don't have anythingpulled up, this is just a
tangent.
So I don't know if this is 100accurate, but what I've always
heard is they were kept separateuntil the concert was beginning

(56:43):
and they like approach from twodifferent backstages.
It was in central park, thisconcert, and they played a whole
lot of like paul simon's likesolo stuff, like me and julio
down at the schoolyard and thatkind of stuff.
And when they're singing me andjulio down the schoolyard,
garfunkel looks so pissed to besinging it and Simon looks so

(57:06):
pissed that Garfunkel is singingLike how bad do they need the
money?
They hate each other, man, goddamn.
But anyway I say one night,only one night.
One night only.
They reconcile for one.
Hey, if Oasis can do it, theycan do it, anyone can do it.
That's what I'm saying.
Okay, so I have two regularsand a death.

Eric (57:30):
I have a death and a Hail, mary.

Matt (57:33):
All right, then why don't I knock out my last two?
Then we'll get your Hail Mary,I've got Ikea.
We'll test assembled furniture.
Oh, that's what I'm saying toyou test assembled furniture.

Eric (57:45):
Oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, that's what I'm saying to you the time
.
Brothers, sisters, please heedthe call.
That's right, the times theyare changing.

Matt (57:57):
Speaking of Timothee Chalamet.
My God, he looks good in thatmovie.
Anyway, complete unknown.
He sounds just like Bob Dylan.
The last thing I got here isbecause they've talked about it.
Uh-huh.
I don't know if you're aware ofthis, but woody harrelson and
matthew mcconaughey suspectreveal they're the same person
suspect they are brothers like,actually biologically.

(58:20):
Oh, and they've talked aboutdoing a d test and the only
reason they haven't is MatthewMcConaughey is scared of finding
out that his father is not hisfather, oh man.
But they do have reason tosuspect that they are biological
brothers.

Eric (58:37):
That is nuts, and.

Matt (58:38):
I'm going to suggest they will do that DNA test this year
and it will be confirmed thatthey are.
Holy shit, I never evenrealized that was on the table
yeah, oh yeah, it's very much onthe table because they
discovered that um mcconaughey'smom and woody harrelson's dad
had a thing at a certain point.
Yeah, I think that's how it was.

(58:59):
Yeah, oh my god also matthewmcconaughey's dad had died
having sex with his mom.
Oh, little fun fact.
That's how his dad died and hestated that's how he also wishes
to die.

Eric (59:13):
I mean, if you're gonna go out.

Matt (59:16):
No, that's true.
He had a heart attack whilehaving sex with Matthew
McConaughey's mom.
Going and coming, coming andgoing.

Eric (59:21):
Yep, there you go.
Tide goes in, tide goes out.
Absolutely All right, all right, all right.

Matt (59:25):
All right.
So what is your Hail, Mary,Eric let's?

Eric (59:26):
hear it.
Well, should we do our deathsfirst, Because mine is truly.
Once you hear it, it is thehailst of Marys.

Matt (59:34):
Okay, yeah, you know what?

Eric (59:39):
We'll need a palate cleanser maybe Okay, so we Okay.

Matt (59:41):
So the first time we did this, I selected for my death
somebody who was already old andalready ill, and I ended up
being correct and correctlypredicted the death of Tony
Bennett.
You were 0 for 2 with George RRMartin and Morgan Freeman.
Yeah, you monster.

(01:00:01):
Well, because I think I kind ofpicked a ringer the first year,
I got that feedback from people, so I went with someone who has
no business dying, which isJustin Bieber.

Eric (01:00:12):
Yeah.

Matt (01:00:12):
So I think this year I'm threading the needle.
This person is older, yes, butas far as I know is in perfectly
okay health, but it's a bummer,eric.

Eric (01:00:22):
Who is it?

Matt (01:00:24):
Jane Goodall.
Ooh, jane Goodall, health, butit's a bummer, eric.
Who is it?

Eric (01:00:27):
jane goodall, oh jane goodall, 90 years young, monkey
and around monkey and around.

Matt (01:00:33):
She's got a new like museum or something that's
opening up in africa this yearand I hope she's here for it and
and, honestly, after watchingChimp Crazy, I have only gained
that much more respect for her.
Yeah.

Eric (01:00:47):
She hung out with murder machines.

Matt (01:00:48):
She absolutely did, not to mention, just to say, dr Jane
Goodall, she's a doctor.
Go on Pour the tea.
Yeah, she's a doctor.
I just want to make sure.

Eric (01:00:58):
Wow, matt Shea doesn't think Jane Goodall can be a
doctor.
He has to Google it.
No I just want to make sure sheis a doctor.
I, I can't, can't, be fuckinghanging out around chimpanzee
murder machines with a fuckingbs well, first of all, she's a
dame.

Matt (01:01:13):
Yeah, oh yes, she's got a phd from darwin college dr dame
jane goodall absolutely, and Iwant to say this also what I was
going to say young Jane Goodall, stone cold.

Eric (01:01:29):
Ooh, can't hold on.
Let's see, let's see Young JaneGoodall.

Matt (01:01:34):
Holy, what a pretty, what a beautiful lady Absolutely and,
frankly, looks great for 90.
Got to say, dr Jane Goodall,what a beautiful lady Absolutely
Inside and out.
Gotta say, dr Jane Goodall,what a beautiful lady Absolutely
Inside and out.
Yeah, absolutely.
So anyway, that's my death.
Who's yours?

Eric (01:01:52):
Every year I feel a little worse, of course, about calling
a death.
So this year and again statingthis all murder is bad, all
death, you know, I'd rather noone has to die.

Matt (01:02:02):
Yes, yes, Eric.

Eric (01:02:05):
Who are you killing?
Vladimir Putin, all right, allright, all right.
Slava Ukraini, motherfuckerAbso-fucking-lutely.

Matt (01:02:12):
I love that, eric, I fucking love it.
Yeah, yes, I think that that isa prediction.
He ain't looking good, well,what I'd say is he could be
looking worse.
Yeah, all ain't looking good.
Well, he could be.
What I'd say is he could belooking worse.
Yeah, all right, all right, allright, eric, I love your
prediction.
And now, eric, I am justabsolutely chomping at the bit
to hear this hail mary here's myhail mary, it better be good,

(01:02:36):
you built it the fuck up.

Eric (01:02:37):
Oh it, oh, it's good.
My hail mary.
For 2025.
Matt shea, oh my god, we'lldecide.
That's the the clear word For2025, matt Shea, oh my God, will
decide.
That's the clear word here isdecide Uh-huh To get a tattoo.

Matt (01:02:58):
Eric, I'm not going to get a tattoo just because you put
it on a bingo square, I know,and you don't have to.
We got plenty of options.
You got your own card to choose.

Eric (01:03:07):
Oh, I know I think it is called a hail mary for a reason
I think it is a long shot, ericbecause that's why I said decide
.

Matt (01:03:14):
I don't think you'll necessarily get one in 2008, but
I think by year's end you'lldecide well, I talked about this
not too long ago that Icontemplated getting a carrot
tattoo for single carrot theater, my theater company that has
since passed away.
But I I you know have sincelost interest in the idea of

(01:03:35):
getting said tattoo and I don'tthink I will actually do it.
So the idea that I would switchgears and decide to get a
different tattoo after taking 33, I suppose, plus years, really
to decide to think about gettinga tattoo in any kind of
seriousness, I don't see ithappening.

(01:03:56):
But hey, you know what he'spointing to the stands, eric.
I'll tell you what, eric, it'sup to you and the listeners, of
course, if they put it on theircards, but I will do my best to
forget that it is there and cometo a genuine decision, and I

(01:04:17):
don't think you should hold yourbreath for it.

Eric (01:04:20):
Who can say?

Matt (01:04:21):
Who can say?

Eric (01:04:22):
Oh, also, there's a rider to this.
There's an unrelated, but awriter PS, because I was
discussing these with Alyssa asI was coming up with them.
Alyssa wants to know, matt, ifyou had to get a face piercing,
what would you get?
And then quote I'm calling itnow.
2025 is going to be Matt's badboy year.

Matt (01:04:45):
I end quote I can't.
The only way I'd get a facepiercing is if somebody
literally put a gun to my head.

Eric (01:04:51):
If you had, to get, and, matt, it'll.
For the rest of your lifeyou'll have this face piercing.
So what are you going to get?
I don't want it.
I know you don't, but you haveto.

Matt (01:05:06):
I don't want it.
I know you don't, but you haveto.
I don't fucking know.

Eric (01:05:10):
I think you could honest to God.

Matt (01:05:12):
Maybe an eyebrow piercing, because I could cover it up.

Eric (01:05:14):
maybe I think you could pull off a lip piercing.

Matt (01:05:18):
Yeah, no, no, thanks, I think you could do it.

Eric (01:05:20):
I know you wouldn't want to.
I know the idea of that makesyour skin crawl, but I think you
could.
I think this, Matt, I think2025, this is my soft call it's
going to be your bad boy year.
We're going to get you in amosh pit.
We're going to get you For$1,000, you will For $1,000,.
We're going to get you in amosh pit.
Eric, if you paid me $1,000, Iwill go those five minutes and

(01:05:48):
then peace out with my check, myguy, or will you linger?

Matt (01:05:50):
I doubt it.
Will you say, like I foundmyself.
It seems like it might as wellbe called a cesspit, so I doubt
it.
All right, fucking germ centralup in that bitch.
Didn't a fucking globalpandemic teach you people
anything?
Clearly not.
You were going there during theturn.
Anyway, those are ourpredictions.
Listen, folks, there is a linkin this episode description that

(01:06:12):
oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Before we end things, eric, weneed to discuss the free space,
the target.

Eric (01:06:18):
The free space.
Slash the target space?
Yes, it has been.

Matt (01:06:22):
Yadaft reaches the top five on good pods, but we have
since sort of lost interest inpursuing this goal.
I think good pods has lost alot of steam and I think a lot
of podcasters are coming to thesame conclusion.
Yes, caught on, except withpodcasters who weren't really

(01:06:47):
listening on good pods and werejust kind of to to to put it in
a blue parlance just sort ofjerking each other off yeah,
yeah and look, they're allpeople.

Eric (01:06:54):
I love jerking off listen, I absolutely.

Matt (01:06:58):
I'm happy to jerk off these people going to ham Ham on
.

Eric (01:07:00):
Zachy D.

Matt (01:07:05):
You didn't.
No one made you name.
Names God, no, god, no.
That's not the shout out hewanted, but it's the shout out
he got.
This man pays our Patreon who?

Eric (01:07:20):
literally is out there raising money for children, as I
as you speak, uh, anyway, loveyou zacky d and what?
What if?

Matt (01:07:31):
what if?
What if you needed it?
What god I would?
I would oh get down anything,anything for you sounds like
maracas.

Eric (01:07:42):
What?

Matt (01:07:43):
are you doing?
Oh god, I apologize zach, Iapologize to you.

Eric (01:07:52):
Nothing I what am I gonna?

Matt (01:07:53):
apologize for being a good friend please don't abandon us,
please don't abandon us now, ohgod um but the free space.

Eric (01:08:04):
I have an idea for it.
Yeah, what do you got?
We reach 100 patrons.
100 patrons, okay, 100 patronsif we're being transparent.

Matt (01:08:14):
I think that's a long ways off at the moment.
Gotta shoot for the moon.
Baby, 100 patients, baby.
I love it, I love it, Iabsolutely love it.
So, people, you got to get outthere, you got to recruit your
friends and listen.
I see our download numbers.
I know how many of you are noton our Patreon.
And that's okay, is it?
Because you got a free spacewaiting for you?

(01:08:38):
So come on down.
It's $4 a month.
You're not even going to noticeit.

Eric (01:08:42):
How many people are willing to subscribe?

Matt (01:08:44):
just to win bingo?
How many a month?
You're not even gonna notice it.
How many people are willing tosubscribe just to win bingo?
How many people are we can't?
Are we saying 100 overall?
Doesn't matter what tier ohyeah, oh god oh, then you got,
no fucking excuse.
A dollar a month, please adollar a month, you bastards.
That falls out of your pocketon the way to starbucks.

Eric (01:09:01):
I piss a dollar every time I walk out of this house.

Matt (01:09:04):
I spit a dollar onto the street every time I hock to a
hock to a.
Yes, Our unfortunately timedneat cast rant.
But you know what are you goingto do?
We didn't know.
No, Listen, if you want tosubmit yourself a bingo card and
win the fabulous prize of amandatory guest spot on this

(01:09:29):
show, yes, Along with I don'tknow.
We have merch now.
We have merch now.
You know what?
We have merch now.
We have merch now.
What should we send them?
As a free sweatshirt.

Eric (01:09:41):
Hoodie and a hat.

Matt (01:09:42):
Hoodie and a hat Hoodie and a hat Hoodie and a hat.
Hoodie and a hat Hoodie hat.
Guest spot on the show.
If you get a full good bingo,as they say in the bingo
community Go to the episodedescription here, pull up the
link it's also in the link treeon our Instagram and everywhere
else and submit them.

(01:10:03):
But you must submit them by theend of January.
That's been our going cutoffand by the time this episode
comes out I cut.
Well, we'll give it a couple ofdays for spoiler purposes and
then we will publish our finalselections.
Obviously, we have much morethan 25 selections here, so not

(01:10:26):
everything we've discussed willbe on our individual bingo cards
other than our gets you intoand you know death and
everything, those we have toinclude.
But uh, other than those, we'llpick our cards.
We'll reveal them on ourInstagram at.
You didn't ask pod and uh, giveus your submissions, fill them

(01:10:48):
out.
It's a Canva link.
It's a drag and drop template.
You can just export the JPEG orwhatever.
Send it in.
You didn't ask for this atgmailcom.
Send us your shit.
I keep track of them throughoutthe year.
I try to mark everybody's off.
You should keep track of yourown just year.
I, I, I, I try to markeverybody's off.
You should keep track of yourown just to double check me.
But uh, yeah, if you want to doit, get in on this do it, nerds

(01:11:13):
I think that'll about do it forthis episode of you.
Didn't ask for this, the firstone of 2025, oh, god, let's keep
on staying alive, babes keep onstaying alive and listenes.
Keep on staying alive andlisten.
You can do so by and this istrue listening to this podcast
and, in order for us to producemore episodes, I would love to
have some questions from you.

Eric (01:11:35):
We got questions Call into the thought line, absolutely
Like you could.
Again cannot stress this enough.
You could say pretty muchanything in there, and as long
as it's not horrific, we'll playit on the show 410-929-5329.

Matt (01:11:50):
That's the number for the thought line.
Give us a call, we'll listen,we'll play it on the show and
you can submit your question tous at youdidntaskforthis on
gmailcom.
That's all spelled out.
Or you didn't ask pod?
That's the letter.
You didn't ask pod.
On Instagram, blue sky threads,facebook, youtube, et cetera,
et cetera, and, of course, thediscord which you can join at

(01:12:11):
patrioncom slash.
You didn't ask for this, eric.
Did I miss anything?

Eric (01:12:16):
Didn't miss a goddamn thing, baby, then I think it's
time to end this episode.

Matt (01:12:19):
Oh well, Well, good luck everybody.
I always like the bingo episode.
It brings me a lot of joy, Ilike keeping track of it and I
hope you do too.
So this has been anothersuccessful bingo curation.
Yes, yes, Well done Matthew,Well done Eric.
Oh, so, from all of us here youdidn't ask for this my name's

(01:12:42):
Matt Shea.

Eric (01:12:43):
My name's Eric Poach.

Matt (01:12:44):
And listen.
You didn't ask.

Eric (01:12:46):
But, bro, check out my shirt right now, okay.

Matt (01:12:49):
I see it I see this like metal.

Eric (01:12:50):
So the name of this band.
Well, first of all, tell mewhat you think this shirt says.

Matt (01:12:55):
Um the.

Eric (01:12:58):
Soap Close.
It's Thursday, thursday, and Ihave worn this shirt exactly
twice, both of which times wereon a Thursday.

Matt (01:13:08):
Okay, so you're bringing up a visual cue for our play out
.

Eric (01:13:13):
Yeah, man Look at that shit.

Matt (01:13:16):
I see it, it's like a lightning bolt motif.

Eric (01:13:21):
For anyone curious, it's standard black metal font Sure
Thursday Thursday Thursday, verygood band.
They're not a black metal band,which is why this shirt is so
funny.

Matt (01:13:31):
Oh Well, now the closing joke really hits home.

Eric (01:13:36):
Oh yeah, Now they really like it when you explain the
joke.
That's what I keep telling youin the notes.
Explain the joke.

Matt (01:13:43):
Explain the joke that they cannot see.
Yes, that sounds like a, a, alike a Zen Cohen, Erica you have
, you have one centralresponsibility in this, in this
episode to episode.

Eric (01:13:56):
And I have technically delivered.

Matt (01:14:00):
And that's all we can ask.
That's all we can ask Untilnext Thursday.