110 | The Kaczynski Method - You Didn't Ask For This

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matt (00:00):
Eric, do you by any chance go out and about in the
Facebook marketplace?

Eric (00:06):
Every now and then, when something catches my fancy.

Matt (00:08):
Yeah, you like pull up the tab from marketplace and just
sort of give it a scroll.

Eric (00:12):
Just give it up.
See what window shop and neverhurt nobody, Exactly.

Matt (00:16):
I never did anything with it until last year becoming a
homeowner, and then it became.
I started cruising for stuffjust to see what was out there.
But every now and then, when weneed something or we're in the
market for something, I'll hitup Facebook marketplace just to
see what's out there.

(00:37):
And recently we were looking to.
As you know, we've had thisfront room.
That's sort of been the lastroom in the house that we have,
Like we've there's a bigbookcase in it, but we haven't
done anything with it.
It's this weird empty space.

Eric (00:51):
I do love that bookcase it gives very cozy vibes.

Matt (00:54):
Oh yeah so.
So we've been in the market toget some chairs for that room to
sort of like develop it,because we've finished the other
stuff.
So the last couple couple weekswe've been going real hard of
like trying to find stuff, get,get some chairs, and we were
looking for a good reading chairto put in there and my mind

(01:14):
went to the eames lounger.
Are you familiar with what theeames lounger is?
Eames lounger Can't say that Iam.
If you Google it, you'll knowit right away.

Eric (01:26):
Is it E A M E S?
It sure is.
Eames lounger Nailed it.

Matt (01:30):
The.
It's a.
It is one of the most famous uhdesigns of a chair out there
from the.
Oh it is that chair, that chair.

Eric (01:45):
It is the definition of like mid-century modern.

Matt (01:46):
Yes, and for I look at that chair and I just think mad
men, mad men very much.
It is also prominently featuredas something that's about to
come up in this episode ofspoiler alert.
We did this after the fact, um,and has come up many times on
this podcast before.
It is in frazier's apartment,behind in front by the piano it
is.
It is back there.

(02:07):
He mentions it from time totime.
So I was like what about aneames chair?
But I've never actually sat inone.
Like I know they're every.
They've stood the test of time.
Obviously people still arebuying them 50, 60 years after
they first came out.
So like they're still out there.
So the actual thing is likeeight grand.

(02:29):
Like the real Eames chair fromHerman Miller is like 83,000,
8,300.
So I was like cool, we're notgetting a real Eames chair, but
there's plenty of fake ones outthere, there's plenty of dupes.
So I was like like we can get adupe, but you know they're hard
to come by, you gotta orderthem.

(02:49):
And I'm like, well, I've neveractually sat in one.
So like I like I don't reallywant to go in on something like
a chair and then it turns out itsucks ass that I intend to sit
in for prolonged periods of timeif I don't know what it's like.
But then, eric, I was lookingfor chairs on Facebook

(03:09):
Marketplace just to see what wasout there and I come across,
just happenstance, that nearbysomebody is selling a dupe Eames
chair for $700.
Okay and I was like, okay, well, if it's quality then that
could be a steal, consideringthe real thing is like $8,300.

(03:32):
So I was like cool, so Imessaged the guy casually like
hey.
Don't want to scare him off.
I was like, hey, I live nearby,I'm interested in the chair.
Do you still have it?
You know the usual stuff thatif you've never actually started

(03:54):
one of these conversations, theusual question of is this still
available?

Eric (03:58):
Yeah.

Matt (03:59):
And he said it's still available.
I've got one that's puttogether.
I've got one in the box.
When can you be here?
And I was like, uh, well, I, Iguess I could be there in like
20 minutes, if it's, if somebody, if you've got another bidder,
you know like, yeah, like I.
But I was like I want to, Iwant to test, I want to sit in

(04:21):
it first.
Um, you know, I'm not justshowing up in handy.
And he was like yeah, yeah,yeah, of course.
So I was like what, what's thename of your shop or whatever?
And instead he just gives methis address.
So I pop this address intogoogle maps and it's like and
there's a couple of places likethis where I live.
There's, um, it's like aloading dock of, uh, it's like

(04:46):
in a business park.
It's in a business park, butit's like operating out of a
loading dock, like out of like athat's that's murder that's
murder.

Eric (04:56):
You're gonna get murdered so I deserve it if you show up,
if someone's like come meet meat this loading dock and you're
like, okay, okay, it'd be crazy.

Matt (05:04):
Right, did you do it?
It'd be crazy to take my wifewith me.

Eric (05:07):
Well, what if it's not safe?

Matt (05:11):
I got to have someone with me.
So Lindsay and I go to thisfucking loading dock in the rain
to meet a man named Zane.
Oh, hell yeah.

Eric (05:21):
Hell yeah.
So, Matt, you have to tell meare you a ghost right now?
Because there's no way youdidn't get murdered.

Matt (05:29):
So we go in and Zane if you're listening, if you're a
fan, zane's a very nice guy, hewas really cool.
But we walk in and fromeverything, he described his
business as a showroom and so Iwas like, oh, okay, it's just a
store that like there's others.

(05:50):
What I'm saying is it's notuncommon.
There's business parks herethat have like storefronts
operating out of the loadingdock, like yeah.
So I was like, okay, it's justone of these weird stores that's
just like in a loading dock.
So we walk in and it is eric,it just looks like a fucking
garage like a loading does.

Eric (06:11):
Yeah, and you're gonna get murdered there because I did.

Matt (06:15):
And there was an office and he was like cool, the chairs
are set up in this office.
And I was like, cool, this iswhere he closes the door and
gasses us.
Oh my God, but we go in we sitin the chair.
He did the HH Holmes treatmentand he has two of them set up,
so Lindsay and I are able to sitat the same time and I can tell

(06:35):
right away from Lindsay's facethat, like for $700, it's not
going to, she's not in love withit, and I feel the same way.
Okay, it's not gonna.
She's not in love with it and Ifeel the same way.
You know, I've sort of iconizedthis chair, but I'm like you
know it's not doing it.
Well, it's not like my full back, like it doesn't have like neck

(06:56):
support and with my back andeverything I know when reading,
I'm gonna end up curling closerand closer to the book and I'm
gonna fuck my back up Like Ijust know it.
So I was like you know what?
It's a perfect excuse.
I hate bringing my bet, myherniated disc up for like shit,
like, but you're gonna do itanyway.
But I was like this time thisis a great out if he, if he

(07:17):
presses me, play the card.
But, eric, as we're trying, aswe're debating it and like we
decide basically right away, butI want to give it a few minutes
because it's pretty clear, yeahwaste more of his time.
It's pretty clear he waited forus before going home.
Oh no, and that's why he waslike when can you be here next

(07:41):
to where he's got the chairs?
He's just got boxes and boxesand boxes of Pokemon cards.

Tim (07:53):
And.

Matt (07:53):
I'm just like looking around and there's just all this
random shit.
And when we get out to theloading dock, cause I'm like,
hey, we're, I think we're goingto pass, and he was like, yeah,
no problem, can I ask why?
And I'm like, hey, I thinkwe're going to pass, and he was
like, yeah, no problem, can Iask why?
And I was like, well, I got alot of back issues and it's not
full back.
And he was like, I totally getit, no worries, man Cool.
So Zane, real cool guy, didn'tkill us.

(08:16):
But I'm looking around and Iwas just like Lindsay and I
immediately got in the car andwe're like, okay, what the hell
did we just do?
Like that was stupid.
We, we certainly could havedied and yeah, and second of all
, I'm talking to your ghost.

(08:37):
And second of all, what was heup to?
And Lindsay's theory is he'sone of these like eBay resale
guys who, like, shows up atstores or whatever, buys out the
pokemon cards at 8 am when theyopen and then is just selling
them online, does the same thingwith chairs, does the same
things with this and so like,because we got in the thing and
we got in the car and starteddriving away and I was like it

(08:59):
is a good deal, but at the sametime I'm not convinced those
chairs didn't fall off the backof a truck.
You know what I'm saying yeah,yeah damn so I live to tell the
tale, but uh, yeah, so I.
I don't know what the moral ofthis story is, other than I went
you?

Eric (09:19):
you flaunted all conventional wisdom in regards
to meeting with a stranger allin a place and you learned
nothing.

Matt (09:29):
I had an opportunity to grab a fake version of Frasier's
chair, which is probably, inall likelihood, a fake version
itself because it's a televisionset.
Yep, and I said, stranger, in aloading dock, I'm listening.

(09:49):
Damn, what a button, what abutton, what a button.
Well, hello everybody, andwelcome to you.

(10:11):
Didn't Ask For this, thepodcast answering life's least
pressing questions.
My name is Matthew Shea, myname is Eric Poach.
We have a very special guest, agreat friend of the pod,
submitter of many, many, manyquestions, facilitator of the

(10:32):
discord and indeed, a you daftgiant.

Eric (10:34):
It's tim from against all oddities tim tim, tim tim, tim,
tim, eric you're gonna god Goddamn it, eric, sorry.

Tim (10:44):
I'm sorry.
I'm legitimately really excitedto talk to you guys, dude,
we're so stoked to have you.

Matt (10:50):
We've been trying to get you for a long time.
Finally, the stars alreadyfinally aligned.
And here we are.
How are you, Tim?

Tim (10:59):
I'm really tired all the time For like an, you can fit
right in.
I was like the ability to justlay down and nap has it was
never a superpower until thepast couple years.
But you know, I'm trying to seethe the silver lining of that.
Yeah, just sleep, just.
It doesn't matter where.
I'll just lay down in themiddle of a floor, in the
kitchen, any, any port in thestorm, any port in the storm,

(11:22):
any port in the storm.
But I'm good, I'm well.
I guess this is the more cannedanswer.
I'm doing good.

Eric (11:28):
Yes, how are you?

Tim (11:29):
That's my first question, oh very first question.

Matt (11:33):
Okay, basically trying to stay afloat in this deluge of
terrible news yes, poach, howare you?

Eric (11:51):
Yeah, news.
Yes, poach, how are you?
Uh, yeah, it, it.
It feels like I'm in the wavepool at six flags and someone
got a little too like their.
Their, their swimming eyes werebigger than their swimming
stomach and and they are like Iam.
I am desperately wading throughthese waves crashing against me
, but there's people who arelike, oh, I'm out, I'm I'm in
too deep and are trying to likedrag me.
I'm trying to signal thelifeguard, but he's working

(12:13):
part-time at six flags.

Matt (12:14):
He doesn't give a fuck eric, you don't know how wave
pool works, do you?

Tim (12:19):
I do I thought you're gonna say a wave pool full of vomit
and I thought that just thevisceral warmness of being in
that, and then your goal is toget out or escape it.
But there's people in front ofyou.

Eric (12:29):
I'm reaching for a raft and all I'm getting is empty
bottles and band-aids Like usedband-aids.
That is my driftwood.

Matt (12:39):
Yes, yes, that is a horrific image.
Yeah, everything we justdiscussed, really.
So, tim, you are from AgainstAll Oddities.
Before we get into yourquestions, why don't you tell us
a little bit about the show forthe listeners who might not
have crossed over yet?
I?

Tim (12:58):
will.
So it's a little weird rightnow, but I'll tell you.
So the podcast it's me and mytwo older brothers I'm the
youngest, and then chris is inthe middle and nate's the oldest
and we don't really like callto be like, hey, how are you
feeling?
If you're sad, I'll talk to youabout it, or what.
No, like we need a purpose,even when we hang out just to
build something if, or to cook,I don't know.

(13:22):
So that started in 2019 andit's the weird, the esoteric,
the uh, the occult is how itstarted.
And then you know cryptids.
But we also just do things thatwe find odd, uh, like weird
snacks, or we've had severalmovie episodes, just movie
reviews, or, uh, random thingslike ritual, magic or

(13:45):
manifestation or shadow work,just trying to make yourself a
better person.

Eric (13:49):
So, yeah, your discord is lit.
I love I dip in there now andjust see what you guys are
talking about and it's alwayslike just the coolest shit.

Matt (13:59):
I'm generally a lurker.
A lot of these discord, but Ido lurk.

Tim (14:03):
I am there Remote viewing is a big thing.
Astral projection was big.
So nate's been to the monroeinstitute a few times and if you
haven't heard of it, it's basedout of uh.
It's near charlottesville,virginia, and it's uh.
Uva has a center ofconsciousness and they are

(14:23):
actually trying to makeobjective studies on these
people that know how to have outof body experiences or do
remote viewing things like that.
So they'll hook electrodes toyour brain and they run binaural
beats whole time you're thereand they try to get you to sort
of create this or bring it outfrom yourself.
That is so fucking cool, insane.
That is insane the stories Natebrings out of that.

(14:45):
And, uh, the people that hemeets, it's from like the really
strict military guys that justhad this experience and they're
like I need you to tell me whythis happened to me, it doesn't
make sense.
Or they're like I'm gonna bethe best at living, and if
living means on the other realm,I'm gonna be the best there too
.
So you know like crunchy hippiepeople that are just waiting
for a ufo objection or something.

(15:06):
Um.
So he brings a lot of goodstuff back um, and then we kind
of try to build off of that.
Um nice, and then chris will goout into the woods for no
reason at midnight and then justdo stuff and then come back.

Eric (15:21):
So does eric yeah, see, I fuck with this, so hard I was.
I was in the woods this pastweekend having out-of-body
experience that's awesome.

Tim (15:30):
Induced out-of-body experiences or for joke purposes
, yes, it's.

Matt (15:36):
Who can say how they happen?
Who can say it's?
Who can say where they grow,it's worth it's?

Tim (15:42):
just, and it's scary to go into the woods.
It is so scary.
But then as soon as you getback inside, you're like I wish
I stayed out longer oh yeah, yes, yeah, I didn't have the
experience I need.
Um, like I've got property outin the middle of virginia and I
say property, it's, it's aliteral home depot shed that
somebody finished and put like abathroom and electricity and
stuff, oh nice, but it's likecarpeted and has like an oven

(16:02):
and stuff.
Finished and put like abathroom and electricity and
stuff, oh nice, but it's likecarpeted and has like an oven
and stuff.
So it's like a little camp, butthere's a creek on the property
.
And then I'll just like, maybeinduce things the same way eric
does and then, um, after thekids go to bed, I'll just walk
and just stand at the creek.
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, disconnect, reconnect tosomething else.

Eric (16:23):
Absolutely.
Yeah, my therapist has put methrough a lot of exercises.
One called leaves on the streamhe asked me to.
He's like when you'reoverwhelmed with thoughts he's
like literally sit next to astream or if you can't imagine
one, and he's like in all ofyour thoughts.
He was like as your thoughtsarise, like pick up a leaf off
the ground and place the thoughton that leaf and put it on the

(16:45):
stream and watch it just go away, like watch it float away, and
that's always been extremelyhelpful.
So anytime I find myself by astream, if I'm walking through a
park or in nature, take amoment to do.

Matt (16:59):
That Helps like I have to let my thoughts float away.
Sorry, babe.

Tim (17:03):
That's a zen practice too, though, right, isn't it?
Because your goal is to notthink at all, and then, if you
start to just have straythoughts, you're just supposed
to just let them work themselvesout, and then, yeah yeah, like
the way I've heard it describedto me, like through zen practice
and all of that, and like otherbuddhist circles, is they're
like, yeah, the.

Eric (17:19):
The point isn't that you have no thoughts occurring, it's
just that you're not clingingto any that happen, like as they
, as they come up, you're justwatching them go by right,
you're standing in the stream,just let them yeah, let them
float.

Tim (17:31):
You know, what's funny is, when I go in the stream, all I
do is pick up leaves and justchuck them to the side and try
to clean that stuff.

Matt (17:37):
Yes, get the sticks out.
You gotta clean whiledownstream eric's like where are
all these goddamn leaves comingfrom?
Oh no, Are these my intrusive?

Tim (17:46):
thoughts.
Yeah, it's all gunked up.
What does?

Matt (17:49):
it mean, where are they all coming from?
It's like someone threw abucket in the creek.

Tim (17:54):
Some man is throwing my thoughts to the bank.

Matt (18:01):
So, tim, you told us you had a lot of questions.
I do, let's get to them.
Let's get to them, let's get tothem so I have a couple.

Tim (18:06):
That's just like there's a, there's an answer, and I just
want to see if you know theanswer it's not really I love
this.

Matt (18:14):
Oh, this is just a test, then yeah, I love this.

Tim (18:16):
Yes, great, but there's hopefully a segue into something
else, uh, into a moresubjective one.
So the first, like moreobjective question is and real
quick, matt.

Eric (18:28):
Um, I'm pretty sure this is like our our audition for the
illuminati, so don't fuck thisup for us.
Got it?
Yeah, yeah, go on.

Tim (18:35):
Hey, um, also spoiler alert , I dropped you both two little
separate things that are notrelated to each other, and I
don't think you two know aboutthe other one, so that was like
I was, I was definitely keepingmine I was keeping mine a secret
and they're completelyunrelated.

Matt (18:50):
They're two separate things, but I wanted to keep it
even so, I didn't know okay, Ididn't know how you were going
to approach this.
So not only did I not sayanything to poach, I also had a
bit planned in case I was notsupposed to mention that I know
about something that's soawesome.
So for the audience'sperspective, tim did message me

(19:10):
a while ago.
That was like I'm going to askyou this question and I'm
letting you know in advance, butnot Eric, and I was like, oh,
I'm going to have fun with this.

Eric (19:19):
What a coincidence, Matt.

Matt (19:21):
What a coincidence.

Tim (19:26):
Oh, I fully thought he was actually doing the same thing,
but I I was just gonna casuallydrop into this prepared thing,
so I'll say eric's is prettyfunny, but uh, I wanted matt to
really digest it and come upwith something where eric
doesn't get that advantage, soI'm looking, we'll get.

Matt (19:39):
We can get to those whenever you're ready, so
separately.

Tim (19:42):
Do you all know who mr newton is and the newton family,
mr newton, as in sir isaac?
No, I'll give you a clue.
It's maybe early 90s popculture, mr newton.

Eric (19:52):
Mr newton, why does that sound familiar it?

Matt (19:55):
does.
It does have a an air offamiliarity, but I can't place
it so educate us.

Tim (20:00):
in the early 90s there were some criminals that were
stealing dogs for a certain vetand one erroneously escaped
somehow and made its way intothe Newton family and the father
had trouble accepting it and itgrew up to be a big St Bernard
named Beethoven and there was amovie about it called Beethoven.
And that is the Newton family.
My question is who's the mostfamous person from the Beethoven

(20:24):
movie?
You know, I'll give you a hint.

Matt (20:28):
Also, also, it's not one of the newtons well, I was gonna
say his um, oh, you mean thereal newton family, or from the
beethoven, it's all justbeethoven, okay, okay, that's
not right, I was.
I can't think of his name.
I'm blanking on his name, butthe dad is a notable actor.
Like he's been in many 80sfilms.
He sort of disappeared afterBeethoven.

Eric (20:49):
In my mind he's always been Steve Martin at home.

Tim (20:54):
Oh, like not in character.
Like not in character, steveMartin.

Eric (20:57):
No, he's just like diet Steve Martin, like he occupies
the same silhouette.
I don't think I agree with that.

Tim (21:05):
He's the less talented older brother of Steve Martin.

Matt (21:07):
Yes, I guess I kind of get what you're saying.

Eric (21:11):
He's the Jim Belushi to his John.

Matt (21:15):
Who's the Jim Belushi, the dad from Beethoven?
I don't, okay, maybe.
Maybe that analogy kind of haslegs, I'll give it to you.

Eric (21:24):
Maybe I don't even know this man's name, I can't think
of his name, but I hear him tosteve martin, but I'm saying he
doesn't remind me of stevemartin in his comedy in any real
no, they look.
I'm.
I'm talking purely like, interms of like looks.
He looks kind of like stevemartin.
So follow.

Tim (21:41):
Follow-up question, though have you ever heard of an actor
named Joseph Gordon Levitt?

Eric (21:46):
Yes.

Matt (21:46):
Oh my God, he is in Beethoven.
He is student number one.
I forgot all about that untilyou said his name.
He's totally in Beethoven.

Tim (21:56):
Jacob Levitt is in fucking Beethoven For like two seconds
and it's totally him.
So my question is.
You're 100% right.
Based off of that, here's thequestion who should have made it
that didn't?
It can be a band that you saw,or an actor, or, um, any,
anything where you're like.
How is that related to the?

(22:16):
Beethoven question anywaybecause student number one made
it in the family, didn't yeah,that's, that's fucking brilliant
.
I oh okay, all right, all right, I see it could be a friend, or
like an opening act or anything, something I'll tell.

Matt (22:34):
Yeah, I'll tell you an, a very active person that just
jumped to mind of who I want tomake it, um, and I just want to
give him press.
Uh, and Poach knows about thisguy already.
I learned about him throughTikTok.
He's a musician by the name ofJesse Wells and before he blew
up on TikTok he was just goingby Wells.

(22:57):
Now he's Jesse Wells.
You can find him on Spotify.
He writes folk music, a lot ofprotest-esque songs about our
current state of affairs andbeyond that, but he's a
brilliant lyricist.
I really think he's going to behuge and he just is pumping out

(23:22):
music Like he's just song aftersong after song.
He released three albums lastyear.
He, the man, is a fuckingmachine.
Three albums in one year, yes,and two of them are
significantly better than thethird, I I admit, but the?
Uh, they're very good.
They're full of bangers, jessewells, check them out.

(23:43):
Spotify, wherever you findJesse Wells, I want him to be
huge.
So he jumps to mind as somebodywho's like who I want to make
it actively, who's in theprocess of making it.
But I'm trying to think ofsomebody, because it feels like
what you're asking is who didn'tmake it and should have.
So to that end, I'm stillthinking.

Eric (24:02):
Eric, I have any.
Mine is also music related.
There was a band that was localto baltimore I want to say in
like the early 2010s calledbielsa fuzz.

Matt (24:19):
Yes and I thought for a second you were going to be
talking about all-time low and Iwas like they made it eric
little band you might have heardof them.
I was like we can say all-timelow made it.

Eric (24:31):
No.
Bielsa fuzz fucking ruled theirclassic like stoner metal band,
like fucking black sabbathwalked so bielsa fuzz could run
nice and.
And the lead singer we, we, we.
We got to know these guysbecause we go to their shows all
the times they were local andlike the, the lead singer,
really cool dude named dana ort,dana ort, dana ort.

(24:54):
Um, insanely talented singer.
I love watching this man singbecause when he sings a he looks
like they're singing about allthe classic like stoner metal
stuff, like fucking likemystical forest and like, like
selling your soul to them, likefucking cosmic lotuses and shit

(25:16):
like that.
And Dana looks like a fuckingwarlock, long black hair, just
like pointed goatee, like andand the faces he would make as
he sang were.
It was like watching an entirenarrative where I was watching

(25:37):
this man who had sold his soulto some, like made a pact with a
demon for this voice and likeyou can see him like as he's
singing, like he's wrestlingwith this new power within him
and then and then he, and thenhe realizes it's too much and
he's like suffering, but then heembraces the darkness and
accepts his fate like it's likeall of that passes over his face

(25:59):
as he's singing these songslike he, he can't believe what's
coming out of his out of hismouth either.
Are they still playing shows?
So, unfortunately, the band Ihave one of their vinyls, I have
some T-shirts, I even have likea fucking box that they carved,
basically a stash box, and they, for one reason or another I

(26:24):
don't want to make anyassumptions, I don't know why,
but the band did.
They disbanded towards the endof the 2010s.
They never got like huge, butthey were like really popular.
I went to their album releaseparty.
That was in a pizza place inlike Mount Airy and it was
awesome.
It was awesome.

(26:48):
But the good news is that danahas started a new project, uh,
in the past couple years, with,I think, some of the dudes from
beelzefuz.
They're called mythosphere andyou can check them out now.
I want them to blow up so bad Iwant them to be.
I want them to be huge.
I, I, I love that band.
I love that singer so they'reso good.

Tim (27:01):
I'm so glad that you answered in that manner, because
I was gonna say, uh, one of thequestions was specifically for
eric.
Have you heard of the band psys-i-g-h.
S-i-g-h not psy, gingham style?
So psy is a japanese blackmetal band sold and they have
been around forever and theyused to be psychedelic black

(27:23):
metal like a japanese sort ofslayer-ish uh, but on acid.
And then now these guys dope.
They are more just traditionalblack metal, but they're
shrieking in japanese, so it'sgot a bit of a twist to it yeah
so, um, I definitely recommendchecking them out and then then.
So a followup question is um,what's your band's name and

(27:47):
what's the first name of youralbum?

Matt (27:49):
You and you and Matt like oh, our our YouTube have now
started.

Tim (27:54):
Whatever band you have settled.
Oh yeah, black metal, acapellaor whatever, it is Sure yeah.

Eric (28:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay.
So sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahokay, so, matt, I feel like,
where you and I overlap okay, I,it's dicey, it's dicey, but I
feel like of the venn diagram ofour musical taste, in that
little overlap there is just onecategory called folk.
Yeah, I feel like we, we shouldbe like a folk band.

(28:22):
You like rock music too?
Oh, I do, I do, but like Ifucks with folk music.

Matt (28:28):
Sure me too.
Obviously I think you're sayingthat because I sent you a
playlist of Jesse Wells.

Eric (28:34):
Well, you sent me a folk playlist of Jesse Wells and I
sent you a folk punk playlist,you did yes.
So that's why I'm like, that'swhy my brain's going there.

Matt (28:42):
Okay, and that makes sense .
Okay, so we, hmm, let's startwith the name.
What was the second part, nameand first album?
Oh, first, album.

Tim (28:53):
If we're like name dropping stuff and you're going to be
punk folk, can I tell you thename of my favorite punk folk
band?
That disbanded 20 years ago.
Probably this bike is a pipebomb.
This bike is a pipe bomb.
This bike is a pipe bomb.

Eric (29:04):
Adding that to the list.

Tim (29:06):
Yeah, and they're definitely, and you'd expect,
like some hardcore band andthey're just play like acoustic
stuff and screaming things.
It was nice.

Matt (29:13):
In incredible 20 years ago .

Eric (29:14):
So I don't I doubt they've done anything since.
I guarantee my partner knowsabout them.
I guarantee Alyssa does.
She's, she's fucking brilliant.
Oh, okay.

Matt (29:26):
So you said pipe bomb, and now this is where my head's
gone.
We'll just go with theKaczynski method.

Eric (29:34):
The Kaczynski method fucking rips.

Tim (29:37):
That also fits being in the woods.

Matt (29:41):
It's like that show, only not.

Eric (29:43):
Matt, was that off the dome?

Matt (29:44):
It was off the dome bud.

Eric (29:46):
I love that.
The Kaczynski method yes.

Matt (29:50):
That's definitely pretty hardcore for a punk folk band
yeah, yeah, we got something tosay and we might kill people to
do it.

Eric (29:58):
I I fuck it okay so it's the kaczynski method for the
first album, first album wearinga wire we do the entire show,
like we've.
We've just kind of we'reclandestinely meeting the

(30:18):
audience in a like like you knowhow, like it's two guys like
meeting on a park bench.
Except, yes, we're, we'remeeting an entire audience in a
yes, this is kind of simple.
This is in a similar vein toanother favorite band of mine
called masked intruder.
If you ever fuck with them,their entire bit is they all
wear like ski masks on stage andlike they show up and they're

(30:40):
like all right, all right, allright, we got to do this quick,
we got to get out of here sothey keep it like a bit the
whole time, like, oh it's a bitthat they're doing crimes.

Matt (30:47):
They're always doing crimes, all right kaczynski
method the kaczynski method withdebut album wearing a wire
wearing a wire all right soparent that yeah.

Eric (30:58):
And then first song titled are you?
And then second song becauseyou have to tell.

Matt (31:05):
And third song owed to the postal service.

Tim (31:09):
Yeah, because Kaczynski loves indie pop bands and then
the postal service.
So I wrote this one down.
I think it's kind of going toplay off of that in a little bit
.
But so if you two started, yourband, was was successful, but

(31:29):
it wasn't paying the bill.
So, um, why?

Matt (31:33):
does this sound familiar?
Right so you start a.

Tim (31:35):
You start a food truck, like what are you, what are you
making out of there and what'sthat called?
Oh man like skrillex startedgrillix or whatever.

Matt (31:46):
Given the canon of our show, I feel like it has to be
hot dogs it has to be some sortof specialty hot dogs in which
the glizzy method the name theglizzy method the glizzy method.

Eric (32:05):
Uh, yeah, and it would be.
It would be the wildest fuckinghot dogs, like it would.

Matt (32:10):
It would be experimental hot dogs so like baskin robbins,
but hot dog toppings yeahthat's what we call it, we call
it like, we call it our title,like you know, the glizzy method
, experimental hot dogs, yeah,yeah, ghost, ghost, ghost
kitchen food truck, ghostkitchen food truck, ghost

(32:30):
kitchen food truck.

Eric (32:33):
And what's key here is all you can do is walk up and order
a hot dog you do not specifyanything.

Matt (32:41):
So you don't get a choice.
You don't get a choice.
The two madmen in the truckdecide what you get.

Tim (32:47):
Yeah, oh my God, in the truck, decide what you get.
Yeah, oh my god, that just Ihad.
I'm skipping a question androlling right into one of the
secret questions.
Secret question number one, hey, matt yeah, I sent erica a
message and I said matt has toget his butt tattooed.

(33:08):
You're going to tattoo his butt.
He can't say yes, eric's goingto tattoo my butt.
Yes, he can't say.
You can't say yes or no.
You have no choice into what itis.
Eric gets to choose what theimage is.
It cannot be a freckle, itcannot be a dot, and if you
don't follow through with arecognizable image or icon in
some way, the tattoo policearrest you both.

Eric (33:28):
Yeah, so all right, eric was to come up with this answer
well, not yet.

Tim (33:32):
The question is for matt.
What do you think he chose toput on your butt?
Oh, what do I think?

Matt (33:38):
eric chose, yeah ah, all is revealed man I will be
impressed I really, I reallywant to give this a thought for
a hot second.
I want to get this right.
Knowing I can't, I'm going tosuggest.

(34:01):
I want to suggest Eric's tattoofor me somehow involves Frasier
, and maybe it's like Frazierand Marty McFly holding hands on
a flying spreadsheet, because Ithink this is Eric in an

(34:24):
episode that's about to air thisweek.
When we're recording thisepisode, eric goes off about my
spreadsheets, knowing and Ican't stress this enough
absolutely nothing about anyspreadsheets.
I may or may not operate.
He just said some shit, so Ithink he he somehow thinks this
is a big part of my life.
So I think, like a magic carpet, only is an Excel spreadsheet

(34:47):
Frazier and Marty McFly holdinghands.
That final answer, regis.

Eric (34:51):
They were high-fiving.
Fuck you, oh, is that true?
No, no, no, no, no.
God, how insane would that be?
No, nothing quite so crass.

Tim (35:07):
Nothing's quite so blue as Frasier Crane, andy mcfly
holding hands on an excel sheetI applaud that effort though,
because that really like hey forall in on the idea for spinning
up a tattoo off the top of myhead.

Matt (35:24):
I think I did pretty good.
Yeah, all right, eric, what'sgoing on my ace?

Eric (35:30):
uh.
So imagine you know how, likeevery now and then you'll be
scrolling through social media,usually facebook or something,
and you'll see they'll share,like uh, a quote from winnie the
pooh and it's like it's usuallysome like super somber, like
deep moving, and it's like pooand piglet like their backs to

(35:52):
the camera and like they'rewalking together down a path
like toward.
So poo's on one ass, cheekpiglets on the other, and like
there's usually like there'slike a little exchange between
the two.
And I want the exchange to beuh, poo say it'll be like it's a
, it's a victimless crime, poosaid, and then piglet will

(36:15):
finish like punching someone inthe dark.
Jesus christ, I it is great.
And like there I want it needthe perspective needs to be such
that like it's very clear thatthey're walking together into
your ass.

Matt (36:31):
Oh yeah, that's, very clear from your description.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, that'sreally good, eric.
Thank you, that's a good buttbit you did there.

Tim (36:38):
Yeah, a poo ass tattoo is pretty solid alone.

Matt (36:44):
I do think with me personally, you lose some points
for not including my spiritcreature character Eeyore.
Yeah who I am, I am Eeyore.

Eric (36:57):
You're an Eeyore rising and a rabbit moon.

Matt (37:01):
Sure.

Eric (37:02):
To put it in astrology terms.

Matt (37:03):
Yeah, fine, but I'll say this You're an owl cusp, go on.
But I'll say this You're an owlcusp, go on.
I was in a store recently withLindsay and there was a
collection of stuffed animalsthere and there were Eeyores and
Eeyore in the middle of thisstore.
I completely lost my shitbecause Eeyore had a full ass

(37:31):
tail and I simply could not.
I could not handle it.

Eric (37:35):
How did they fuck that?

Matt (37:36):
up.
I could not.
And I don't mean it was pinnedon, I mean he had a proper tail
and I was infuriated by this.

Tim (37:47):
Like a full flowing horse tail.

Matt (37:50):
It was a full natural tail that eeyore does not have very
notably, and I didn't mean tocry in front of the children,
but that's how it happened noit's fair uh someone's,
someone's got her an eeyore.
Yeah, someone's got a fucking,someone's got to stand up for my
boy, eeyore, and I say thatbecause I just you, you know,
eeyore, yeah, someone's got tofucking stand up, someone's got
to stand up for my boy, eeyore.

(38:10):
And I say that because I just,you know, eeyore, and I feel as
one.
And I think this is exemplifiedby a quote from the more recent
movie, the animated movieWinnie the Pooh, where it came
out like 2000, I want to say 12,maybe somewhere in there the
Hufflepuff or something.

(38:30):
Something like that, but it wasa proper like animated Winnie
the Pooh and the first for quitesome time.
But the owl was sayingsomething and Pooh thought he
was sneezing.
Like he was saying at you likeI want to throw this at you, and
he was like oh, bless you.
And he was like no, no, no atyou.
And he was saying at you like Iwant to throw this at you and
he was like oh, bless you.
And he was like no, no, no atyou.

(38:52):
And he was like oh, and he waslike oh, somebody has caught a
cold.
And Eeyore, who has not beenpart of the scene up until this
point goes, I'll probably catchit too.
And I saw myself.
I love Eeyore.
Anyway, that's a quality tattoo, eric.

(39:15):
Despite Eeyore's lack ofappearance, I welcome them into
the hundred acre wood that is myanus.

Eric (39:22):
Well, I would say Eeyore's , where he's always been.
Matt, inside you, pooh andPiglet are just going to meet
him.

Tim (39:33):
Very good very good got you , got you babies.
Well done thank you thesequestions are dynamite, tim,
dynamite, my man keep themflowing so there was this thing
that came out I think it was atiktok thing, um, but it also

(39:54):
went big on.
It just got shared a lotyoutube and things.
Um, there's, uh, some couplethat's been communicating with
something within a ouija boardfor like 13 years and it's what
they do once a week and they,they like just talk to it and it
keeps giving them weird mathand weird numbers and it
described three events and thenit was like 6,800 days after the

(40:16):
six and they're like we don't,we can't math this, but each
event ended up.
One was like we've been tryingto communicate in the first time
failed, and that's on the daythey figured it out.
It was like the day that bombgot dropped in World War Two.
And on the day they'd figuredit out, it was like the day that
bomb got dropped in world warii.
And they're like fast forward,however many thousands of days,
and we did get the communicationthrough, and that was with the

(40:37):
cold war, when the uh was, whenthe cuban missile crisis was
averted, and they said there's a, according to this ouija board
thing, there's a third event onmay 27, 2025, and the, the
apparition that they'recommunicating with, they said
it's already.
Nobody heard this, so it's toolate, but it's like everything's
written in backwards and allthis.
It's a pretty good littletwo-minute clip of this woman

(40:58):
like totally spooking you outyeah, but she has a journal out.

Eric (41:02):
I'm not even watching it.
What, even if?
What was?

Matt (41:04):
it march?

Tim (41:05):
what?
Oh, may 27, may 27, like that,or may 25th, one of those days.
They said that's the thirdevent, the big one, and so big
one it's.
It seems to be nuclear, butit's if they fake the whole
thing and made it up.
They filled out a fullcomposition book of just random
notes of whatever they've beendoing.

(41:25):
Um, it's interesting, it'sworth looking up.
But the uh that made me think.
There's two types of people ifthe world ends those that are
like fuck this and I'm walkinginto the mist.
And then the others are likeI'll survive.
Yeah, where do you two stand onthat?
Are you gonna?
Are you gonna linger?

(41:45):
Are you gonna just walk intothe void?

Matt (41:47):
I would, I would definitely.
I know myself well enough toknow that I'd, I'd, I'd attempt
to linger, I would, I'd attemptto survive.

Eric (41:56):
I would, I would linger, I would, I would.
I have thought about this somuch.
I'm like me too in terms oflike what would my job be in the
post-apocalyptic?
And like what I'd want to be orwhat I would think would be of
vital importance.
Fucking lore keepers,storytellers like, fucking like
we're.

Matt (42:14):
It'll be back to people sitting around a fire and
sharing their history orally Imean it won't be what's most
important, but we'll feel likeit is, just like we as actors do
today.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I do think about it a lotbecause I do think there'd be.
I think there's like this oddcomfort waiting for me in the

(42:35):
apocalypse, like I think there'sa, there's an odd release of
all expectations I never have toworry about another bill.

Eric (42:44):
I never have to worry about fucking going to work like
all I have I have actual thingsto worry about it becomes
primal right like it gets backto atma.

Matt (42:54):
number one objective is survive the day like, day in,
day out, like any old animal outthere.
So you're, sir, oh god.
But it also frees you from likethe expectations you have of
yourself and that you feel likeothers have of you in this

(43:14):
current societal norm that wehave.
You know your dreams,aspirations, and if you don't,
are you doing enough to achievethem?
Or what do people think of me?
All that's gone, the hustle isdone, it's all just about living
that's such an the, a uniquesilver lining.

Tim (43:34):
I don't think anybody's phrased it like that.

Eric (43:36):
That's because no one's asked me but like it's a and
funny that matt and I have neverreally like we've jokingly
talked about like in a mad maxscenario, what we think we would
be, but like we never talkedabout.
Like okay, actual pile, butlike very similar wavelength
here, like I've had the same.
I was like man now grantedmassive asterisk.

(43:58):
This whole statement no, Idon't want the apocalypse to
happen, I will.
I like my nice things I I like Ilike living indoors in a
society, um, but I was likealways looking for that silver
lining.
I was like man, the shit Iwon't have to worry about
anymore.

Tim (44:15):
The idea of a career is gone, gone, that stress is gone.
So I guess the follow-upquestion to that is what would
be your preferred method ofapocalypse?

Eric (44:28):
Oh, yeah, because nuclear there's a good chance.
You, you're gone, you're justyeah, that's see, that's the,
the.
I'm on the eastern seaboard, I,I can't.

Matt (44:37):
I'm too close to dc not only are you gone, but there's.

Tim (44:42):
There's the like radiation factor right yeah, I'd like to
romanticize that, though I'd alittle bit, a little bit.

Matt (44:51):
I'd like to think that post pandemic, I have a good
survival mindset for the nextone, you know, for the one for
the big one that really wipesthe planet out.
You know the stand level ofpandemic.
I think I would like a zombieapocalypse.

Eric (45:16):
I think I could handle Okay, I think I could handle it
Me personally, yeah, I think forme it's all about the lesson,
because I think if we're goingto get an apocalypse, humanity's
got to, because I'm such a fanof Star Trek In order to get to

(45:37):
if you're familiar at all withStar Trek lore in order to get
to this post-scarcity,enlightened future where fights
for material resources are nolonger a thing and we've gone
past all that bullshit.
Now we just explore the stars.
Before that they had what werecalled the eugenics wars, so

(46:04):
like things got real dark, realapocalyptic, real thing.
And like what came out of thatwas humanity literally said holy
shit, okay, lesson learned.
Never like we have to be betterthan this.
We have to aspire.
We simply have to we have to,and so I want, whatever the
apocalypse is, to be thoroughlyhumbling, uh, to our species and
something we can actually learnfrom.

(46:26):
So, like, like.
So I think, like nukes couldcertainly fit that bill, but
like I'm also like mankindgenetically engineers, like some
sort of creature for war, andit turns out that that those
things just start breeding likecrazy and like we're no longer
the apex, something that makesus no longer the apex predator

(46:48):
on this planet I think, I thinkthat would be most interesting
times to live in fifthdimensional being just sort of
pops in like you guys screwed up, you're done oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, oh manaliens, it was a good run, it
was a good try, yeah like ifthey showed up and they were
like here's, you're gonna aboutto be culled.

Tim (47:09):
And here's the laundry list of reasons why I dig that yeah
all right, so stone aged back bysomething better than us.
Yeah, I don't think I couldsurvive that one as much as
zombies.
Zombies is like a problem thatyou can punch in the face or
true, true, true, yeah, yeah,that one that's better than you,
that's true, true, true, yeah,yeah, that one that's better

(47:32):
than you, that's, I'm afraid ofit.

Matt (47:33):
That that that does remind me of like the the horizon game
franchise and like feeling verymuch like something took over,
uh, and put us, put us in ourplace, which honestly, maybe
humans could use, but, um, Istill don't want necessarily to
be a part of it.

Tim (47:50):
Yeah, yeah sure all right, well, okay, the next question is
the I think, the secretquestion that I sent to matt.
Oh, okay, so let me.
I'm gonna phrase it the exactsame for you, eric's.
I'm pulling it up so I can readit.
So the experiment was especiallywith this, I wanted to set a
chain of events different thanjust showing up and asking you

(48:12):
questions, so I reached out toMatt first, Also because I had a
feeling that if,retrospectively, we had like a
breakdown of like well, how doyou think the podcast went?
If I had asked this questionout of the blue, I think Matt
would have said would have beennice to have a heads up on that.
Oh, interesting, when I thinkEric would have been like have
been nice to have a heads up onthat.
Oh, interesting, when I thinkEric would have been like yeah,

(48:33):
I was good with it, Okay so Wow,just Eric Tim, just read us to
filth.

Eric (48:38):
But anyway 100%.

Tim (48:41):
I don't know if you guys know this, but I have listened
to dozens, if not hundreds, ofhours of you two talking to each
other, so it's easy to pick upand let me just say I'm sorry.
No, I love it.
I'd say the question, theanswers are great, but you know
what?
I will just take a brief momentto brag on you guys a bit.

(49:02):
The two of you that constantlylifting each other up is what
takes it to the like.
I'm coming back next weekbecause y'all give each other
shit, but it's all.
You can always tell it'sribbing, it's not like malicious
yeah, you gotta, you gotta, yougotta.
Razz your homies yeah, razzlerazzle, like those those neat

(49:24):
cast homies that you know yeah,they clearly hate each other's
fucking guts it kind of feelslike you're in the car while mom
and dad are fighting.
Right, they hate each otherthey absolutely hear like them
just kick the shit out of eachother every monday.
And that being said, so corythat from the world is my

(49:46):
burrito podcast had brought upthis, and it's so I owe him some
credit for it, though headmitted he stole it from
somewhere.

Matt (49:55):
Hell yeah we've all still.
Our whole entire show is stolen.

Tim (49:59):
Content continue don't even file the serial numbers off
that is a picasso quote,actually that good artists
borrow, great artists steal.
All right, so keep it secret,keep it safe, no more, all right
, it's a complex question, soI'm curious to see how the extra
time will help.
But also it's kind of a fun bit.
You're an assassin, but you'venever been caught because you

(50:23):
kill people with the butterflyeffect.
You have a new target, an eviloil baron from Oilville, america
.
How do you kill him, eric,utilizing the butterfly effect?

Eric (50:36):
Utilizing the butterfly effect.
Get me Ashton Kutcher.

Matt (50:40):
Oh man, Mr President, we can't.
Ashton has been canceled, ohthank God.

Eric (50:45):
Oh yeah, I didn't say he'd be making it back from this one
, not this time.

Matt (50:52):
Third, time's the charm.

Eric (50:54):
So how would I, using the butterfly effect, kill Oil
McOilson, the evil oil baron,Oil McOilson?

Tim (51:03):
That's his full name.
That's his proper name.

Eric (51:07):
So I need it to be ironic.
I would start investing inscholarships for young, bright
scientists coming out of highschool.
I would fully invest insomeone's education.
I would be slowly searching outsomeone who was interested in

(51:32):
genetics, geneticexperimentation.
I would oh, I would just keepkind of funneling money to their
education through whatevernefarious means I could, and
with my hope being that they goon to be like, get their, get
their their college degree, gettheir masters, get their
doctorate in like, like geneticsciences.
I would want them to be theperson who finally perfects

(51:59):
cloning technology, ergo theybecome the first person to
successfully clone a dinosaur.
Ergo this leads to the dinosaurnew apex predator, post
apocalypse, where oil mcoylsongets eaten by a tyrannosaurus
rex, because that is essentiallywe're, we're, they're fossil

(52:24):
fuels getting their revenge atthat point uh, yes yes full
circle it's come full circle.
It's like now now they've comefor you, wow well done, that's
good.

Matt (52:35):
Yeah, that is such a hard question that was a good
question, that's a good question.
And uh, oh, I guess, is it mytime to shine now, is it?
I mean, so, matt did get aheads up on this.
I did get a heads up.
Uh, it was hot.
Honestly, it was hard to reallyuh, wrap my head around, put

(52:55):
any real substantial thought toit.
Um, so let me just start bysaying, uh, sorry if I uh, if
this isn't what you wereexpecting, tim, but, um, I want
to start by giving just a littlebackground on my character and
then I'm going to sort of offthe dome.
Some of the things I've beenthinking about, not really
prepared anything too much inadvance.

Eric (53:17):
He was up till three in the morning, I guarantee it.

Matt (53:22):
My long and storied career as an assassin, well known in
America's filthy criminalunderground but a literal
unknown to the public, hasearned me the nickname of the
Karma Chameleon.

Eric (53:34):
Yeah, Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon.

Matt (53:39):
One evening the call comes in from my handler.
A new client has a trickyrequest.
Oh, they'll pay, all right, butthe target will be a personal
one.
It's the evil king of Oilville,the richest oil baron the world
has ever seen, cormac MidnightGold LaFontaine Better known to
me, however, as Uncle Corey.

(54:00):
Lucky for me, I always hatedthat son of a bitch, that was a
relationship there.

Eric (54:06):
Love this.

Matt (54:07):
I accepted the job.
Of course I do Five million upfront, with another ten big ones
heading my way for a job welldone, as if I'd be capable as
anything else.
So I begin my process in theusual way Five straight,
uninterrupted hours ofcontemplation.
Slowly but surely, the pathbegins to reveal itself to me.

(54:28):
You see, eric, I'm atrailblazer in that way.
Only my blazes are all paintedin blood.
God damn.
I spend weeks scoping outmidnight golds, mansions and
refineries, pouring over myessential reading, the stock
returns for the last year, tmzarticles, the farmer's almanac,

(54:49):
the blooper reels from everyseason of Whose Line Is it
Anyway?
All of which just helps thepath come into focus.
All of which just helps thepath come into focus.
Once it does Uncle Cory's wellwill finally run dry.
So on a bright, crisp springday, I head over to a bar, the

(55:13):
Humpless Camel and order ahurricane.
Oh, but it's not for me, it'sfor the man sitting next to me,
one, ramon Santiago.
He says what's that for?
I tell him I like the cut ofhis jib.
He tells me the same.
We get to talking and keep todrinking, and after a few rounds
I buy Ramon Santiago one lasthurricane for being such a

(55:37):
top-notch conversationalist.
Santiago, you son of a bitch.
I head out but my afternoon'snot over, oh no, I go to one of
the refineries.
I pull up at 4.58 pm.
I tell Jimmy at the gate I'mdropping something off for Uncle
Corey, but Jimmy's distracted.
He's watching the end of theman United match.

(55:58):
He's never missed a match and a2-2 draw against man City.
Heading into stoppage timeisn't going to stop because some
nepo baby has rolled up.
So he waves me through withoutchecking me, in same as he did
for Veronica, only a few minutesbefore I drive by the main
building at 5.01 pm, exactly theone building which Uncle Cory's

(56:22):
office sits proudly at thecenter of, overlooking the
entire refinery.
I get there just as Veronicahas crossed through his office
door.
Uncle greets her with a kiss,then closes his office curtains,
just as he always does Sexy.
I drive off.
I stop at Kinko's.

(56:44):
I print my pictures.
Yeah, I drive to the busstation, but I park down the
street.
I get on the 535, take a lookat the picture that I've just
taken of my uncle and Veronicaas Daniel Crawford takes a seat
next to me.
I get off at the next stop.

(57:05):
The picture does not.
I see Crawford take a look atit as the bus drives off, I go
home and watch TV.
For you see, gentlemen, my workis done.
The following night Uncle Coryreturns home to his mansion and
to his horror he discovers hislawn has not been mowed that day

(57:25):
.
He can tell that because it'sprecisely an eighth of an inch
longer than the night before andhe always did have an eye for
detail.
He calls his landscapingcompany and gives the foreman an
earful.
The foreman apologizes, sayshis man was sick.
He'll be there first thingtomorrow.
But Corey's worried about theschedule.
Tells the foreman to make surehis man waters when he's

(57:48):
finished.
He's worried the lawn will dryout.
If it does, he'll find acompetent landscaping company to
keep his yard tip top.
Man, what a tyrant.
Fuck this guy.
So he hangs up.
The foreman glosses over inhorror.
He can't afford to lose thiscontract.
So he calls his sick man thatwas assigned to Uncle's house.
Except he knows he's not sick,he's hungover.

(58:11):
That's right, it's our friendRamon Santiago Santiago.
You, son of a bitch.
He's back on the drink,marriage being what it is.
And the foreman says I'm sointo this.

Eric (58:26):
You can just throw that in anywhere, marriage being what
it is.

Matt (58:30):
And the foreman has given him enough chances, he tells
Ramon to get the job done rightand don't he dare let that lawn
dry out.
Not now, not ever.
Ramon has the devil scared outof him.
He swears he'll do better.
No more hurricanes for him.
So the next day he arrivesearly, he gets the lawn done
without delay.
He waters that yard.

(58:52):
Not one blade of this lawn willgo dry, that's for sure.
But meanwhile Daniel Crawfordhas acted on his chance finding
of the photo.
After all, what's SenatorVeronica Patrick doing?
Kissing Midnight?

Eric (59:10):
Gold LaFontaine.

Matt (59:12):
God damn, he digs in.
After all, isn't that what aninvestigative journalist does?
He hasn't brought the OilvilleTimes where it is by chance.
No no, he gets himself a job atthe refinery as a janitor.
He works his way to working themain office.

(59:33):
It takes time, but then again,all good stories do.
He works the night shift.
Nobody wants it and he'sfinally able to gain access to
my uncle's office.
Sure, it's been 11 months sincehe found the picture, but a
money trail never goes cold andhe finds what he needs.
The next day he hammers out hisstory at the paper's offices,

(59:56):
bragging about his find.
The story will be printedtomorrow.
The Oilville Times expose intoSenator Patrick's affair with
Uncle Cory, an affair that beganbecause she was accepting money
from my uncle in exchange forher support of their new
pipeline.

Eric (01:00:16):
There it fucking is.
No, there it fucking is.

Matt (01:00:18):
there it fucking is, but his story is overheard by dylan
stanley, a temp who was justhired after being fired as uncle
cory's butler after forgettingto remove a pit from an olive
well, let me digest that firstMarriage being what it is.

(01:00:40):
Marriage being what it is.
He races to the estate.
He's shivering in his car inthe unseasonable cold.
How can it be so damn close to20 degrees in May?
No matter, this is his chanceto get his job back.
He drives through the open gateand nearly takes out the man
standing in the driveway.
And the man is on his lastnerve.

(01:01:02):
He lashes out.
He's shaking a garden hose athim.
That's right.
It's none other than RamonSantiago.

Eric (01:01:10):
Santiago, you son of a bitch.

Matt (01:01:13):
He's finishing off his lawn cutting for the day and it
may be shockingly cold, butRamon has stuck to his word.
He's off the drink and thatlawn will get cut and watered
every day if it's the last thinghe does.
So Crawford leaves Santiagobehind.
He knocks on the door.
He tells Uncle everything.
Uncle panics.

(01:01:34):
He calls the paper, but it'stoo late.
The paper's already beingprinted for the morning.
Uncle Coryics he calls thepaper, but it's too late.
The paper's already beingprinted for the morning.
Uncle Cory can't sleep.
He tosses, he turns untilfinally, blissfully, he sees the
clock has struck 5 am.
He looks outside and he seesthe sight he's waited all night
to see it's the paper boy ridingby on his bike, shivering as he

(01:01:56):
tosses the morning paper overthe gate.
Uncle races downstairs.
He has to see the story.
He has to assess the damage.
Could this be the end of hismarriage, the end of his freedom
, the end of his refineries, theend of his empire?
How did this information evenget discovered in the first
place?
These are the questions heponders.
As he bursts through the door,he charges down the driveway,

(01:02:19):
not seeing the thick patch ofblack ice that has formed from
where Ramon Santiago shook hishose at Crawford nearly 12 hours
before His legs race awayfaster than his body can
register and he flops down,cracking his head on the

(01:02:40):
pavement with a strike thatsounds not unlike the sound of a
stalk of bamboo being crackedin half.
The back of his head opens likeone of Gallagher's melons, but
his wife's asleep and in thedark and cold of the early
morning no one will discover himfor hours, long after he died

(01:03:03):
right there in the driveway Atragic accident After all.
Who would believe that thefarmer's almanac would be right
about a freak May cold spout?
Or just the latest work fromthe man known only to some and
known only as the karmachameleon?

(01:03:25):
Anyway, that's just off thedome, that's just.
That's just something I'mthinking of in the moment.

Eric (01:03:30):
I I feel like you did a really good job christy I'm
unreasonably proud of that didjohn grisham, like ghost, write
this?
What the fuck was that was?
That was awesome.
That could be a movie.
I'm over here like I'm gonnathrow money at a child and

(01:03:53):
invent dinosaurs when 24 isgonna pick that up.

Matt (01:03:58):
When you gave this to me I was like I gotta come up with
some good that is so good andgood he did.
That was so good, thank you,thank you good god Ramon
Santiago gonna play Santiago?

Tim (01:04:17):
yes, I hope so, or both, yeah, well done, well done,
bravo thank you, thank you Ialso.
I I don't know, do you want tokeep bragging on it?
That was really.
That was very entertaining.
That was almost five solidminutes of breathtaking
storytelling based off of astupid question.

Matt (01:04:36):
I wrote way too much and I was like well, I'm gonna have
to deliver this like doublespeed I matt.

Eric (01:04:43):
You know you did a good job because it was the moment.
At the second I realized that Iput the puzzle piece together.
It's like he's gonna run outfront and it's gonna be ice and
he's gonna slip and fall like Iwas so proud of myself I figured
it out, you did, you did I waslike I was surprised.
Oh, the pizzas were there.

Tim (01:05:09):
God the butterfly applaud, I applaud the effort.

Eric (01:05:12):
Thank you bravo 10 out of 10.
You thank you.
I appreciate it.

Matt (01:05:16):
I appreciate that also it was fun.

Tim (01:05:17):
Like I enjoyed it I don't think I have a question that can
top anything like that.
I think that's a very I don'thave any more questions I.
That is the an exclamationpoint what can we even?

Matt (01:05:32):
say right, but well, I got a question for you, tim do.
Do you know, like and I knowEric has some questions for you
too, but like if you were torecommend, Actually you know
what?
I know what Eric's question isgoing to be.
Eric, you go first.

Eric (01:05:49):
Okay yeah, get the chaff out of the way.

Matt (01:05:51):
No, no, no, no I think, in terms of an interview question,
you got a better first question.

Eric (01:05:58):
Oh, okay, in terms of an interview question, you got a
better first question, okay.
Okay, tim, as someone who, you,you, you, you strike me, you,
you strike me as a believer.
You strike me as someone who,who, who, explore, like, keeps
an open mind to all crazyfucking shit.
So, in, in cryptozoology andthe paranormal and conspiracy
theories, who this is almostalmost this is in a similar vein

(01:06:20):
to your earlier question almostlike who didn't make it, who
should have, yeah, what is amaybe not well-known or popular
supernatural belief orconspiracy theory or what have
you that you'd feel like peopleare sleeping on, like, oh, like,
what is the one?
I was like, no, no, it was likepeople, people should be

(01:06:43):
reading about this.
This has legs so I will.

Tim (01:06:48):
My go-to is remote viewing and my biggest thing is people
just need to try it.
Um, I didn't.
I was like, yeah, whatever it's.

Matt (01:06:57):
Yeah, I mean, people draw things and you put you put like
astral projection in the remoteviewing family, I would um yeah
well, you mentioned it earlier,so I I'm clarifying for myself
so I'd say I'd say yes, I thinkso.

Tim (01:07:14):
A personal belief and this the spooky, spookier side of it
is that we're all, we're allconnected.
So we're all say, if thisuniverse is a big pool of water
and we stick our fingers underit and we all think we're
individual beings talking toeach other, but really if you
look under the water we're alllike part of the same hand.
So I feel like that's kind ofwhat consciousness is like the

(01:07:36):
whole, not collectiveconsciousness.
But we're all somehow connectedand we have these inter every.

Eric (01:07:42):
Everything in the universe is acting on everything else in
some way, subtle or or in some.

Tim (01:07:48):
In some way it is connected and you can tap into that
easily.
You don't even have to try it.
And I'd say the first time Iactually tried was in the
podcast nate did a monroeinstitute thing and he was like
let's just try it.
And I was like okay, whatever.
And he gave us a number and hehad put he didn't even know what

(01:08:09):
was in the envelope, but thenumber associated with the
envelope and I was like it's acartoon in a black jacket and it
was a fucking black and whitepicture of woody woodpecker and
I was like I'm in, what is thissoul?
I'm sold oh hell yeah, yeah,that's cool I so, uh, yeah, it's
if you just try it and the thefirst, the first couple times

(01:08:30):
are free right now, the firstfew.
If you're not trying and you'renot really into it and you just
kind of do it, you get thestrongest hits.
And then when you're trying toget a hit, that's when you start
to falter.

Matt (01:08:39):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah without any kind of training or
anything I've attempted.
I've been like I'm gonna try toastral project, but it's just
me and my own goddamn headtrying to do something.
So I've never like, I've neverbeen taught the ways or whatever
, but I I've gotten nothing frommy attempts.

Tim (01:08:58):
Unsurprisingly, A good place to start is lucid dreaming
.

Matt (01:09:02):
Oh, I've been trying to lucid dream my whole fucking
life A couple.

Tim (01:09:07):
So it's weird.
I'll get into this in a minute,but our episodes are kind of
hidden right now, except for oneor two.

Matt (01:09:14):
Yeah, I noticed that you've got like your last two
months.

Tim (01:09:17):
Right, I'll.
Yeah, I noticed that you've gotlike your last two months.
Right, I'll explain thatthey'll come back, but we just
had to hide them for a while.
So the lucid dreaming there aresteps and we can try to send
you some tips and tricks and wehad a whole.
I read a book once called by drstephen laberge.

Matt (01:09:34):
Uh, I think the art or the science of lucid dreaming.
One of those two.

Tim (01:09:37):
Yeah, nate just gave me that book.
I haven't read it yet.

Matt (01:09:40):
It's a little dated at this point probably, but cause I
read it in like high school.
But I've gotten to the pointwhere I've had I've technically
had a lucid dream, Cause I'vebeen like, oh, I'm dreaming, and
then instantly wake up.

Tim (01:09:53):
That's the trick, as you say, oh, I'm dreaming, but you
don't wake up, and then you cango lucid.
That's what.
I'm trying to get to Tim A fewbrief little creepy and one kind
of sad but sweet story.
So the lucid dreaming is keep adream journal next to your bed,
or you can use your phone, andall you have to do is one or two
lines about what you dreamedabout and then you're training

(01:10:14):
your brain that you're supposedto remember it, because
currently we all default to justdreams are nonsense.
And you wake up and forget them.
And then, if you write down adream journal, you'll your
brain's like oh, okay, you wantthis information, okay, I'll
start hanging on to it.
And so the more you rememberthe dreams, the more likely you
are to realize you're dreamingand you can just all day like do

(01:10:36):
something like snap a rubberband on your wrist just every 10
minutes or an hour.
Then when you go to sleepyou'll have that rubber band on
your wrist but you snap it andsuddenly you're like, oh, oh,
I'm dreaming, I couldn't feelthat or whatever.
Right that you're spinning top.
Yeah, there's a few like tricksto it.

Matt (01:10:51):
Clocks don't work.
That's another thing withdreams, yeah, and reading.
My biggest cue is reading andreading text you look at in a
dream.

Eric (01:11:00):
you know what it says, but it's gobbledygook.

Tim (01:11:03):
When you get, when you go to bed, you also need to go to
bed with an intent in intention.
So you realize you're dreaming.
What next?
You?
You can't make the decision inthe dream.

Eric (01:11:18):
You need to have the decision already made so you can
get straight to doing.
Your brain doesn't hang out inthe, in the.
Oh shit, I'm doing it.
Fate, you're like you go rightinto task.

Tim (01:11:23):
What should I do?
What should I do?
Boom, you wake up.
You said, oh, I want to fly.
So, like I'm gonna fly, I wantto talk to my somebody, I want
to do whatever.
Um, so nate, I'd say, is theresident expert of the three of
us.
Chris and I try, and we havesome success remembering dreams,
but I've never gone lucid.
But nate, he's like he's notbored with it, he's like no, I
got lucid all the time.
So here's, here's the.

(01:11:44):
The creepy part is he waslistening to some dream stuff
and so, uh, somebody he waseither a podcast or one of the
monroe people that he wastalking to was like lucid
dreaming and was like I'm gonnamake everything blue and red and
I'm gonna change it.
And he was like actingessentially like god in his
dream, just changing stuff.
And then an old lady tapped onhis shoulder and was like we

(01:12:07):
don't like it when you do that.

Eric (01:12:11):
This is the shit, I'm here for right oh my, he was like oh
.

Tim (01:12:17):
So he stopped fucking with his dreams like oh that that is
such an outrageously good plotfrom a tele, a black mirror
right, it's not a full movie,but it's a solid 30, 45 minutes
of like just getting creeped out.
Yeah, wow.
So the the sad side of it isnate's lucid dreaming and I'm

(01:12:39):
leaning on him for this is sothe three of us.
We had a cousin who died whenshe was 36 from um colon cancer.
Oh yeah, and it was tragic.
She's had small children.
We're still friends.
And so nate went lucid one timeand he had, he didn't really
know what to do, so he's justflying around the woods.
And he said he saw thisamphitheater in the woods and it
was made of stone.
So we landed and our cousin wasthere and she gave him a hug

(01:13:02):
and he said I only have a coupleseconds here.
And she went, I know, and thenjust hugged him and then he woke
up, oh damn.
So that's a good incentive totry to do it right.

Eric (01:13:19):
Outside of just, I had a similar, very nice, I had a
similar experience with a.
Uh, now, granted, I have luciddreamed before.
I've never intentionally.
It has always been incidentaland exactly like you described.
Usually 99 of the time lastslike a couple of seconds before
I'm like.
I'm like oh, I did it, I'mlucid dreaming, fuck yeah,
exactly but, every once in awhile, uh, it'll, it'll stick.
But I have had a dream, uh, avery dear friend of mine.

(01:13:42):
He came up, he was my, myfriend, ben.
Uh, we were co-workers, we cameinsanely close.
Um, we we created, uh, theimprov comedy dnd show that I do
at conventions and stufftogether.
Like we, we devise thattogether and um, he died, uh
during covid.

(01:14:03):
Uh, he got covid, then gotpneumonia and then died from
pneumonia and it was, like it,tragic.
But it was like a year or soafter his death I had a dream
where I was like walking down astreet and I turned a corner in
like an alley.
Ben was standing there and itwas one of those weird dream

(01:14:24):
things.
You know how you justautomatically know something
like in a dream.
Like you're just like boop.
It's in my head.
I know, I know this to be trueand I knew it to be true that
that was actually Ben, that weonly had a few seconds to each
other and he communicated thiswithout speaking.
He was like I.
Basically, he was like I can'tspeak.
He was like I can't, like I,like the connection is only is

(01:14:45):
like I'm, you can see me and I'mhere with you, but like I'm not
gonna be able to talk to youand we just looked at each other
and fucking hugged like crazyfor a few seconds and then it
was done and it was just like avery brief, like fucking love
you so much, buddy, and that'scrazy, man, yeah it was, and it
was just.
It felt, because I've seenpeople who have died in dreams
before, I've seen, likerelatives who have passed and

(01:15:07):
stuff, but like that was thefirst time.
Like in those it was like, oh,I'm dreaming about you, or like,
or like, oh, you know, it's amemory and I'm like, I'm
convinced, like, like, I've goneback in time, like kind of deal
, but that was the first timeever.
It was like, oh, I'm talking toben, like this is bad holy shit
, that's great.

Tim (01:15:26):
it's kind of it's so important to to have an
experience like that, because itkind of opens your mind to like
what's possible, oh yeah.
And it's also like like thatwas real, like you actually like
you gave your friend a hug andyou got to like reassure each
other one last time, like yourexperience carried through to

(01:15:47):
here.
So how, how is that not real?
How is that not physicallysomething that happened?
If you, you can still feel thatlike sentiment and that like
experience to tie into thephysical too, which is why I I
I'm a hundred percent all in onthis stuff and I'm sorry we went
from like funny stories to likelet's, let's get into it.

Eric (01:16:06):
No, this is.

Matt (01:16:08):
I'm for this shit.
No, let's, let's get into it.
This is why we have guests.

Tim (01:16:12):
Again.
I'm leaning on Nate again onthis because the Monroe
Institute took him to the nextlevel on a lot of this stuff.
But he spent a week there acouple of times so it was
worried about health stuff.
So when he lucid dream for awhile he'd pass his body through
a sieve and try to filter outall the bad stuff that is so
fucking awesome.
He sent us a picture of theskin lesion on his eye and he

(01:16:36):
did that sieve thing, while hewas dreaming it was fucking gone
the next day, like he got.
Like maybe it was coincidence,maybe it was timing, but he said
he was doing the skin healingthing you know there's always
going to be an explanation tosomeone who who wants there to
be one.
You know there should be, butthe skin is apparently the most

(01:16:57):
separated from our consciousnessand the most reactive to it,
because it's an organ, it'sconnected to us but it doesn't
react the same as like our feet.
We don't have like control overit.
Does that explain?

Eric (01:17:07):
like cases of stigmata, maybe, yeah, maybe.
I mean it feels related.

Tim (01:17:14):
That is so fucking cool.
So that's also the power of youknow the placebo, yeah, the
power of like mind over matterhere, like if you want to heal
yourself, like that's a goodplace to start, is like
meditation.
But there's a few of thesegurus apparently that meditated
the point and lucid dreamed andthey could astral project to the
point that when they luciddream they just meditate in

(01:17:37):
their dream.
Yes, dream meditation that islike next level, that when they
lose a dream they're justmeditate in their dream.

Eric (01:17:38):
Dream meditation is like next level that that in a, in a
few uh in in, I think, I believe, in Tibetan schools of Buddhism
, dream meditation and like theythey talk about the Bardo and
all of that stuff.
Um and yeah, like dreammeditation is, is a part, uh, an
integral part of a fewtraditions and it's a lot of it
aligns up with exactly whatyou're describing.

(01:18:00):
It's like that, that whole,because they're from the
buddhist worldview.
They're like everything youperceive is a dream.
He's like this is all a dreamand like when you're asleep and
dreaming you're just in adifferent kind of dream, like so
, so it's like, it's, it's.
They're like that's how you getto astral projection, stuff like
that is like you see thefalseness of reality, not

(01:18:21):
meaning that like, like a, likea loose translation would be
like miraculous powers, astralprojection being outside of your

(01:18:41):
body, healing yourself.
Funny enough, their, their,their whole thing is like that's
not the goal, like you know.
They're like you know we didn'tbecome monks so we could get
superpowers, but they're like.
But as you get closer toenlightenment or like moving on
to the next phase or whateverthat is, you'll naturally start

(01:19:02):
to experience these sort ofthings as you sort of dissociate
from phenomenal reality.

Tim (01:19:08):
It's it's part of it, though, because the people that
can do it say they can, becauseyou have to, um, eliminate your
ego.
Yeah, so if your goal is to bea superhero and have these
superpowers, or to like luciddream and do whatever you want
with whoever we want, orwhatever you're doing, it'll
never happen.
Yeah, um, but as soon as youkind of let go and you're like

(01:19:29):
this is what I'm focused on tojust be a better person and to
understand things better, thansuddenly like bloop, like then
it clicks, it gets a littlewoo-woo and it gets a little
crazy.
There's actually a children'sbook about astral projection
that's called like thechildren's guide to astral
projection something theillustrations, an illustrated
guide.

(01:19:49):
It's by judy bloom, and itactually has been the most
helpful to have all this kind ofmake sense.
Nice and it is, it's completelyillustrated in a way to
understand it and it's funny andthere's like fart jokes and
stuff in it or whatever.
I mean, if it's for kids, yougot to Right and there's.
But there's other beings thatyou may not like, may run into,

(01:20:10):
that are trying to help you.
But if you're like, oh, oh, I'mgoing to run in, if you run
into something and you're afraidof it, it's gone Like you're
going to snap out of it.
So you need to accept it andsort of learn how to communicate
without using words is stepnumber one, where you can just
sort of project your thoughts orfeelings or emotions as, like,
this is who I am.
I just I'm here for goodreasons and if you haven't

(01:20:32):
listened to the telepathy tapes,highly recommend it.
About the non-verbal, autistic,uh, people around the world that
all meet up on a place calledthe hill, what, and they all,
they all know about it.
And there's people that havenever met each other in real
life that are communicatingthrough their parents.
They're like, they'renon-verbal and what are they
called the telepathy tapes?
The telepathy tapes is apodcast that will blow your mind

(01:20:56):
.
It is.
Is somebody a Harvard graduatedoing Harvard graduate?
Doing objective, single blindstudies?
Uh, where they're having thenonverbal autistic person like
in a completely separate roomthan their mother and they're
like, yeah, I can read my mom'smind and the mom's like, yeah,
they can read my mind.

Eric (01:21:15):
Um, and the mother will yeah, no big deal, something no
big deal it's to them.

Tim (01:21:19):
It's no big deal, it's normal, but the mother will look
at something and the non-verbalspells it on their board yeah,
what she's looking at and theword she's looking at, and it's
not like 60 accuracy, 70, 100accuracy, multiple accounts, so
fucking cool.
Dozens of people and separately, without talking to each other.

(01:21:40):
They say, yeah, we meet up onthis place called the hill and
we just talked.
That's insane.

Eric (01:21:43):
All right, I'm checking, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna be deep
diving into this so hard.
I have a binged it.

Matt (01:21:49):
I did a quick google.
I think you might be talkingabout the children's guide to
astral projection by ja holmes.
Does?

Tim (01:21:57):
that sound right, yeah, yeah, yeah, nate has a physical
copy, but that guy, ja Holmes,will let you download the
digital copy, it's like, free towhoever wants to read it.
That's pretty dope man, it'sworth reading the telepathy
tapes If you're kind of like, oh, this guy was kind of coming up
with funny questions and now itturns out he's kind of some
creep into these whatever weirdopsycho things.

(01:22:17):
Sorry, go listen to thetelepathy tapes and when you get
firm, objective evidence thatthis stuff does exist, you know,
maybe come check us out, maybeyou change.

Matt (01:22:26):
Well, I could talk about this for hours, same and you

(01:22:50):
have on AAL.
So before we let you go, I wantto ask for somebody who might
be like new to not even likecryptozoology or really just
myth or these types of thingsthat, against All Oddities,
deals with what would be like agood starter starting place,
like myth wise or what's thegateway?
Down.
Yeah, what's the gatewaycryptid and what was your
gateway cryptid?

Eric (01:23:06):
or your gateway oddity.

Matt (01:23:08):
To put it in the parlance of your show my gateway cryptid
would be my older brother chris.

Tim (01:23:15):
Yeah, sure, he was the.
So I'll say we, so chris and meand nate.
So I'm the youngest, chris istwo years older than me and nate
is six years older than me andit was, you know, like nate kind
of went off to college when Iwas 12 and he was always like
the older brother, and then meand chris.

(01:23:36):
At some point you give up likethe older brother, younger
brother, picking on each otherthing yeah.
All like his friends were, myfriends and my friends were and
we actually hung out in highschool.
But then he went to college andwe're all kind of doing our own
thing for a while and then kindof reconnected and Chris went
off to Boston and then New Yorkand Manhattan and he's in Baton
Rouge now.
So he was always always if notphysically present, like it was

(01:24:00):
holidays and stuff.
And so when we reconnected in2019 and we're like, yeah, maybe
we'll just start doing thisthing together, me and nate were
like I'm into ghosts, I'm intobigfoot, but I don't I don't
know if I'm like into it.
Like sure, yeah.
And chris was like I've beenpracticing ritual magic for
about 10 years and we're likewhat do you mean?

(01:24:22):
He's like, yeah, I was wearinga ghillie suit and I had a sword
and I was going to do like someportal stuff out in the woods
in maine and like I saw thisghost dog or whatever.

Matt (01:24:31):
And we're like what the fuck are you doing with your
life?
Why haven't you been telling usabout this?

Tim (01:24:35):
yeah, I don't know, I was just doing my own thing and so
even I thought we were doing ourown thing.
Yeah, he was like you didn't asklike that sort of thing, but
like in new york, he wouldliterally take the flyers off of
the poles of the crazy peopleand say meet us behind the
laundromat at 2 am.
He was like I want to see whatthat's all about, and so you
just go meet up with these weirdgroups of people doing like

(01:24:57):
spooky stuff, yeah.
And then at some point he saidhe had to like go to a
laundromat and they pulled likeone of the machines aside and go
through the secret door wherethey're doing stuff.
And when they started passingaround like the blood cookies,
he was like I'm out, yeah.
And yeah, his wife was like youneed to start telling me the
location yeah, I'm gonna dip outat the blood cookies we're

(01:25:20):
right, we're putting an air tagin your necronomicon.

Eric (01:25:23):
Yeah, so he was my personal gateway into all this.

Tim (01:25:27):
And then nate was like, yeah, there's this thing called
hemi sync it's kind of like I'vebeen reading books about it,
whatever and then he went tomonroe and did all this stuff.
So I've been kind of a typicallittle brother stuff, holding on
to their coattails and lettingthem because I don't have the
free time or the money that natehad to just spend a week, yeah,
like explore this hands-on.

(01:25:49):
His child is an adult and hasgraduated college at a seven and
a ten-year-old, and chris has a, an 18 month old now, but he
didn't have kids forever, whichis why he was in new york
childless and he was in neworleans childless, and so he
could just be foot loose andcollar free in new orleans like
magic central and they had a lotof ghost stories, him and his

(01:26:11):
wife, oh yeah new orleans ishaunted as fuck yeah so that was
my gateway, but I think if youdon't have older brothers doing
spooky shit and you want to lookinto this, there's.
There's a podcast about anoccult historian.
It's not about one, it's fromone called what magic is this is
?
It's hosted by this guy,douglas bachelor.

(01:26:33):
He's got hundreds of episodes,um, and you can just scroll
through it and just picksomething.
He did a four series episode onfairies and then he actually
and at first I was like, ohlisten, that sounds neat.
But he had this guy that wrotea couple of novels tying fairy
lore into aliens and he calledthem phalians.
Yeah, in a way where you'relike that sounds believable when

(01:26:56):
he says it, but is yourquestions and stuff way where
you're like that soundsbelievable when he says it,
because I don't like, but is, oh, you're questioning some stuff,
um, uaps and ufos are hugeright now and what's the name of
this podcast again?
what magic is this with douglas,bachelor he's got.
Yeah, you just scroll throughand pick what you want to learn
about write them down both ericand listener yeah, oh, he's um

(01:27:18):
he's, um he's canadian, just soyou know.
Um he's got a cool patreon.
Thank you for disclosing thatat the top right but the uh.
So he's he's very accessibleand he has a pretty big name, so
it's um worth checking out,nice um.
So if you're interested, I'dstart there because he

(01:27:39):
approaches it as a historianwould.

Matt (01:27:41):
Yeah, I mean I'd also argue that your show is a great
place to start too, because youguys have some really thought
provoking discussions on avariety of these topics.
You can, you can certainlystart there, but yeah, I wanted
to see what your thoughts wereon sort of recommendations.

Eric (01:28:00):
And I want to say to brag about you, tim, yeah.

Matt (01:28:03):
It's your turn now.

Eric (01:28:04):
It can be in today's social media meta, where I, if I
want to learn about somethingand social media is trying to
teach me whether it's facebookor instagram or I'm listening to
a podcast or something I haveto wade through so much
insincerity like just the the doaliens exist.

(01:28:28):
Top 10 pieces of evidence likelike this is like the.
The will the?
Will this give me clicks?
Will this get engagement?
It's.
It's so refreshing and nice andawesome when, when you get to
hear someone talk about thisstuff from a place of actual,
like well-intentioned sincerity,it's like no, this is what I

(01:28:49):
believe in and it is fascinatingto me and like I want to share
this with people and like that,that that sincerity and that,
that, that genuineness is why Ithink you're fucking awesome.

Matt (01:29:01):
Yeah, it shines, it comes through and beyond the show.
It certainly it comes throughto us from.
You know your emails and stuff.
Everybody who listens to theshow knows.
You know your lengthy emails.
We get sometimes with like abunch of questions and I'll tell
you right now me and Eric arealways like thank God.

Eric (01:29:22):
Solid goal Every time.
The birth of.

Matt (01:29:24):
JG Toesworth Uh, yeah, yeah, uh, that I mean my
favorite cryptid, a staple ofour show's lore uh came from you
, jg Toesworth, and yeah, himfrom you, jg toes, work and yeah
, so we can't thank you enough.
You're uh, your other twobrothers, uh, well, um well,
they, they didn't uh express aninterest in being on our show
now, did they?

Tim (01:29:43):
eric, so I actually.
So I talked to them and theybrought it up and they're like
hey, are we all doing it?

Eric (01:29:48):
and I said no, I'm doing it oh well, next time we'll just
get all three.

Matt (01:29:52):
Yeah, yeah, now that then I take it all back.

Tim (01:29:55):
The next time we'll have all three okay, I mean, so they
thought I they set it up byselfish.
She was like you know what.
I started out because I really,like, am a fan of you guys and
I love your shows.

Matt (01:30:07):
Um, thank you so those two haven't submitted a single
question these fucking posersover here, did they at some
point?

Tim (01:30:16):
you know, all of us do our own thing and they're like kind
of the yadaf stuff became mything.
So they're kind of giving mespace and so they're probably,
but they listen hell yeah, butthey're like oh, that's tim's
podcast that he listens to, so Idon't want to like intrude, but
I'm going this is so wholesomeI've had.
This is so wholesome.
I've had my moment, though.
I've had my moment with youguys.

(01:30:37):
I will now permit them accessto you all.

Matt (01:30:41):
You've had your private audience, you've had your
private dance in the back, andnow we can bring your brothers
in.

Tim (01:30:47):
We'd be glad to have you guys on our show.
Anytime, yes, I'd be glad tocome back here Anytime.

Matt (01:30:54):
We'd love to do.
Against All Oddities, we'llhave the whole against all these
crew here.
Whatever man we've been talkingabout, we want 2025 to have a
substantial uptick in the numberof guests episodes.

Eric (01:31:09):
We do so like.
Yeah sure, we want to connectas many cool human beings as
possible if they want to be onthe show.

Matt (01:31:13):
We'll have you back and now that you're the alpha, yeah,
you've established dominance,like yeah, yeah, yes, um, you
you've, you've marked yourterritory.
You pissed all over us andbelly to the sky belly to wrap

(01:31:43):
things up.

Tim (01:31:43):
But, tim, it has been a delight truly talking to you I'm
really appreciative that y'allinvited me this I need to point
out one thing real quick nateowns a business yeah, plug your
shit he recently.
He well, I can't.
I I mean, he does powerdistribution for server farms,
so I don't know if it's reallylike leader tech solutions,

(01:32:10):
right.
So here's a weird thing.
He just signed a contract withbig business somewhere in the
midwest, okay, and when hesigned a contract with them
which is like big dollar, bigbusiness, like adult stuff
somewhere in there, it had acharacter clause and he is
worried that talking aboutcryptid and ritual magic and uh
stuff could technically likeoffend somebody and he could

(01:32:33):
lose a lot of money based ontheir subjective response to
that so.

Matt (01:32:38):
Is that why you've hidden the episodes?

Tim (01:32:40):
so to ensure his livelihood , we have currently hidden all
but one or two of our episodes.
We have 72 episodes and theywill come back in a couple of
weeks, but until this sort of iswell defined as what a
character clause means, yeah,you just sort of like this
contract kind of falls throughwith whatever it needs to like
happen, it's all good.
We're like you know what, nate,your livelihood is more

(01:33:02):
important than our content, sowe'll just tuck it away from
good looking out good lookingout, but you do got the last two
uh, two month episodes and it'son.
I think the last one's on shadowwork and it's our least funny
episode per uh quote from nate,because it literally is about
how to uh try to make yourself abetter person.

Eric (01:33:21):
So if you're interested, we're out there and if anyone
finds offense to that, I don'tknow what to tell yeah, so where
?

Matt (01:33:26):
where can they find you?
Uh, where can they get yourstuff?

Tim (01:33:30):
so dorf youcom, d-o-r.
Sorry, d-o-r-f-y-o-ucom.
We sell paranormal insurance,but currently the price of it is
an email of any sort with amailing address on it to wizard
at dorfewcom and we will sendyou paranormal insurance, plus

(01:33:54):
or minus a coin, plus or minusother stuff.
I sent Matt explosives.

Matt (01:33:57):
I was just going to say you plus or minus me, plus or
minus other stuff.
I sent matt explosives.
I was just gonna say you plusor minus me.
So with the ferengi.
Well, you did, you sent me theferengi.

Tim (01:34:03):
He's right back there actually quark is he's right
over here uh the uh, the um,along with the fireworks that
you sent me so I feel a need toexplain that it was brought up
on your discord that the reasonI have a ferengi action figure
was to blow it up and relivesome child experiences, and so

(01:34:24):
when it was offered to you, Ifelt a need to throw some m80s
in the boxes.

Matt (01:34:29):
For sure, so I got those red-blooded american but hey,
I'll say this you gave me like a, gave me like a proper plastic
card for my insurance, which Ithought was the coolest fucking
shit.
So thank you for that.

Tim (01:34:44):
Yeah, so it's Astral Roadside Assistance, werewolf
stuff, all this ghost insurance,and if you provide any sort of
evidence we will provide somesort of abatement.
And the only person to turn itin so far is Jeremy from the
Neatcast and he did receiveabatement for a ghost, you know
good on you, jare.

Matt (01:35:04):
Well, tim.
Unfortunately, we got to wrapthings up here, but this has
truly been a delight, so, uh, asfor us.
You can find uh us obviouslyyou already have, but you can
find us.
Obviously you already have, butyou can find us on social media
youdontaskforthisgmailcom, atyoudontaskpod, at all the places
I'm doing the micro businessfor you there.

(01:35:25):
Poach, join the Patreonpatreoncom.
Slash youdontaskforthis.
That's good.
Get some discounts on our merchat youdontaskforthiscom slash
shop and also the bonus episodesof Oops.

Eric (01:35:37):
All Tangents.

Matt (01:35:41):
Call the thought line 410-929-5329 and yeah, also go
listen to against all oddities.

Eric (01:35:46):
Go listen to against all oddities.
You will have such a good timeit's out there.

Matt (01:35:49):
They got those two episodes and then you're gonna
get those other ones back upthere for everybody.
Get the backlog bring back theweird, bring back the weird so
from all of us here, that youdidn't ask for this.
My name, that's man she my nameis eric poach and you didn't
ask for this.
No, your name is oh I lovedthat, though my name is tim, you

(01:36:14):
didn't ask for them but eric

Eric (01:36:19):
uh, but so I was gonna ask about a couple of things we
stumbled into it so hard hedidn't have any clue it was
coming no, I know it was great,uh, no, but I was, uh, I'm gonna
, I'm gonna use this time I'mgonna yield my normal end of
episode bit time to just to justask some questions.
Tim, are you familiar with theartist ingo swan?

Tim (01:36:38):
that I recognize the name, but I can't think of what visual
artist is installed in the avamin baltimore.

Eric (01:36:44):
Uh wrote books on astral projection.
Also like talked a lot abouthow uh, astral projection, stuff
like this none of like theresearch or anything like how
there is the legitimate researchon it and none of it ever gets
any like press or publicationbecause the the world
governments are terrified ofpeople ever knowing that they
have these abilities.
And also brilliant artist.

(01:37:05):
The cosmic egg by ingo swan isa gorgeous painting.
It's my girlfriend's favorite,um, and yeah, that's it.
I was just been killing me thewhole time.
I was like whatever he knowsabout, it goes.
What?

Tim (01:37:17):
did I just google?
I recognize his art.

Matt (01:37:19):
Yeah, while you were saying that, I googled it very
quickly good recommendation foryou, and indeed the audience, to
end this episode.
Thank you.

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