113 | Cracking Into Cold Ones - You Didn't Ask For This

Episode Transcript
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Matt (00:00):
Eric, have I ever told you about the time I accidentally
drove directly into the NSA?

Eric (00:05):
No, but you should tell me more immediately, okay, okay.

Matt (00:10):
So now Eric the NSA.
For those who might not beaware.
For those who might not beaware.

Eric (00:17):
Because, trust me, they're aware of you.

Matt (00:19):
For those who might not be aware, the NSA is located in
Fort Meade, Maryland.

Eric (00:23):
Oh, I thought you were about to explain the NSA to
people, the National SecurityAssociation.

Matt (00:31):
Yes, is located in Fort Meade, maryland, and there are a
number of exits off of thehighways nearby that are for NSA
access exclusively.
Okay, they're very well labeled.
Yes, they are exceptionally youknow if you're driving, you

(00:55):
know if you're driving on them.
So I don't want anyone tomistakenly believe that I went
down one of these NSA exits.
Okay, I'm, I'm, I'm not thatstupid.

Eric (01:04):
They're so well maintained that, as you're driving down
them, your Facebook startspinging you with targeted ads
saying, hey, maybe you shouldturn the fuck around, yeah, and
they're also typically a cut.

Matt (01:14):
There's like a static squad car parked nearby.
It's just like, hey, don't comehere, don't do it.
But there are other, moredirect routes, don't do it.
But there are other more directroutes.
And at one point I'm followingmy GPS and I'm driving in the
Fort Meade area and it has metake this right and I was on my

(01:36):
way to an audition, or I wascoming back from an audition
actually, and this was while Iwas working in in baltimore.
So I was on my way to baltimore.
I ended up side getting off forsome reason.
There was construction orsomething.
I was in the fort meade areaand ways who I do swear by and

(01:56):
as far as gps many times on thisshow if I do yes goes.
Uh, yes, I I'm a waz, so I Ifollowed Waze's instructions and
it had me go down this littleside path, or this little side
street.
And this little side street,eric, I could see, as I began
driving down it, with room toturn around, a bunch of gates,

(02:22):
like interlocking little gateswhere, like you drive, you got
to swerve left to get around,then right, swerve, right you're
.
So you're like snaking throughthese security gates, slaloms.
Yes, exactly, almost.
As if there couldn't be aclearer indication that this was
a special street.

(02:43):
Yeah, so I drive through, I'mweaving, I'm bobbing and weaving
these security things, and Isee, to my horror and confusion,
that the only thing in front ofme at this point is a guard
station, you know, like a littlegate.
Yeah, so I drive up to the gateand this officer leans out of

(03:07):
the gate and says what can we dofor you, sir?
And says yes, do you have anappointment or something?
And I said no, I don't thinkI'm supposed to be here.
And I said that.
And the guy said I don't thinkI'm supposed to be here.
And I said that.
And the guy said I don't thinkyou're supposed to be here

(03:29):
either.
And I said I have a feelingthat this is the NSA.
And he said, sure is, you gotit in one.
You see the gates, and I waslike I saw them as I was going
through there.
But you can see, and I likeshow him my phone, I'm like you
can see that ways told me to gothis way and he goes yeah,

(03:53):
that's been happening to a fewpeople recently.
And I was like, yeah, so weird.
Anyway, I'll just be on my waythen.
And and he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So no, if you could just pullover to the right here, that'd
be great.

Eric (04:07):
Never a good sign, never a good sign.

Matt (04:09):
So I was like sure.
So I pull over to the right andas I'm doing that, I do eric.
I do not know where they allcame from, but I I pull over.
There is now a a a car behindme.
Two black suvs pull upalongside me.
I don't know where they camefrom.

(04:31):
I park my car, I'm putting itin park and as I put in park,
another black suv comes andparks perpendicularly in front
of me, blocking the classic.
You're not going anywhere.
My car is completely blocked inby black tinted window vehicles
.

(04:51):
And so, yeah, I'm sitting therefor a long time, Guy comes over
and is like, hey, you knowlicense and registration.
And so I was like, yeah, sohere you go.
And he was like, yeah, run us,run us through your day is
basically like what they'reasking me.
You might be wondering how Igot.

(05:12):
You might be wondering how Igot here.
So I I'm like, listen, I, I Itruly just took a wrong turn.
I I'm following my gps somewhatblindly, uh, like a fucking
idiot.
I'm sorry.
Your, your man in the in thetower there just told me that
this is not an uncommon event.

(05:33):
So, like, don't throw me inprison is basically like the
vibe.
And so they come back with mylicense and stuff, which I'm
pretty sure they likephotocopied and put on the walls
of the gate to be like thehere's our one strike, you're
out people.
If these guys show up again,they're definitely nefarious

(05:56):
here's, our hapless driving ison the wall of hapless flissons.
Uh, so, after about a 10, maybe15 minute interrogation, uh, in
my car I wasn't taken anywhere,but like just a lot of questions
about what I am doing, whereI'm going, where I've been.

(06:17):
Yeah, have I been out of thecountry in the last 30 days?
You know things like that.
Yeah, they, they eventually letme go, but, um, I did just
drive directly and of my ownvolition into the nsa.
Oh, my god, it's a pretty bigno-no as it turned.

Eric (06:38):
Yeah I had to go there once to perform to the fort mead
I.
I actually did have to go thereto perform some children's
theater, but you were meant togo there.

Matt (06:49):
And also what?

Eric (06:51):
yeah, uh, because we were doing it for, uh, like a fort
mead.
They have like a chill, theyhave like a school and shit
there for all the little kidsand I was doing some children's
theater I think this was withpumpkin theater, uh, back in the
day and and we were doing ashow for the kids at the nsa and
they, they, they accounted foreverything.
The people at the nsa who arelike coordinating this with us

(07:13):
accounted for everything, exceptthe fact that it would take us
like two hours, because we werescheduled to arrive at fort mead
, like like during, like at theheight of the line of cars and I
had to sit there.
They were people were like Eric, where are you?
And I was like I am still atthe gate.
I've been here for an hour anda half.

(07:33):
They've run mirrors under thebottom of my car.
They're making sure I'm not anenemy of the state yeah, and
then I can come do.

Matt (07:39):
Cinderella for you yeah, good, good, good ass plug.
They did also do the mirrorthing to me.
They did.
Yeah, they thoroughly checked.

Eric (07:49):
You feel kind of badass when they do it.

Matt (07:52):
Yeah, badass.

Eric (07:53):
And you hope no one and there's a.
There's a part of you thatthinks for a second, where
you're like God.
I hope none of my dumb assfriends stuck in sort of joke,
fucking thing.
Sort of joke, fucking thingunder my car.

Matt (08:03):
Basically, I guess the moral of the story is you know,
also use your eyes, not justways, maybe, Because maybe it's
incorrectly mapped in a very badway.

Eric (08:15):
Think with your eyes, not your ways, Eric a philosopher
king.

Matt (08:20):
A philosopher king, is he not?
Yeah Well, hello everybody andwelcome to you.
Didn't Ask For this.
It's the podcast answeringlife's least pressing questions.

Eric (08:41):
My name is Matthew Shea my name is Eric Poach and joining
us today oh yes Is a friend toall humanity, licensed mortician
, lead singer of Infinite Pizza,local witch, alyssa's best
friend and canoe partner and mystepmom, becky Hackerman, aka

(09:02):
Auntie Knives.
Hello, that is my stepson.
Hello, that is my stepmom,becky Hackerman aka Auntie
Knives.

Becky (09:05):
Hello, that is my stepson .

Matt (09:07):
Hello, that is my stepmom Truly an honor, and this is of
course the first time we aremeeting, so very nice to meet
you, Becky.

Becky (09:15):
Very nice to meet you too .

Matt (09:16):
Thanks for joining us here on the show.
I understand that Eric gave yousome prep questions.
You have questions.
Prepped is what I'm trying tosay.

Becky (09:28):
I do, I do.
I made a weird list thismorning of just some random
questions.

Matt (09:34):
I love a weird list.
We excel with weird lists, sowe'll get to those in a second.
So licensed mortician.
Yeah.

Eric (09:43):
That's exciting.
How long were you a morticianfor?

Becky (09:46):
So I worked.

Eric (09:47):
Oh you are no longer.

Becky (09:49):
No, I'm still technically licensed mortician.
My license is in an inactivestate right now, which just
means that I don't have to pay alot of money every two years to
renew it.
But once I do like, if I everdecide to make it active again,
I'll have to pay a bunch ofmoney about it.

Eric (10:04):
Yeah, so sorry.
To rephrase my question, how?

Becky (10:09):
long were you cracking in the cold ones?
I worked in funeral service forjust about 10 years, a little
under that is so fucking cool.
Yeah, I've got a lot of reallyinteresting stories.

Matt (10:20):
I bet.

Becky (10:21):
Stories gross stories very sad stories also too.
Stories funny stories, grossstories very sad stories also
too.
But it was like such a you know, such a unique kind of job to
have, of like all of thesedifferent intersections, of like
you have to be really, reallygood at problem solving.
You have to be so good atcustomer service.

(10:41):
You have to, like, you have toknow math, and then there's also
, like this, this whole otherend of it.
That's all like science andchemistry and, um, like care for
the dead, and like there's alot of artistry that goes into
it too, of like makeup and thechemicals that you're using to
have the effect that you want.
So it's pretty cool.

Eric (10:59):
I like it yeah, because you're you are so good at so
very many things, so I feel likethat that career was like like
ideal for you, like I have somany ways to express how fucking
competent I am.

Becky (11:12):
I'm just too powerful so.
I had to have a job that waslike very challenging yeah.

Eric (11:17):
It certainly sounds like it would be that For our, for
our listeners who might not know, tell us about Infinite Pizza
For our listeners who might notknow, tell us about Infinite
Pizza.

Becky (11:26):
Infinite Pizza is my the way we kind of describe
ourselves is a pizza-fueledpower violence band.
We're basically a punk band.
We have some songs that areabout pizza.
A lot of our more recent songshave been about like fighting
and having knives and stuff likethat, because I've been real
angry.

Matt (11:46):
Sure who hasn't?

Becky (11:47):
and having knives and stuff like that, because I've
been real angry, um sure, butlike, but it is, yeah, I mean in
this economy, um uh, but yeah,like it's a lot of um, it's a
lot of like silly fun, like punk.
We do some pop punk stuff.

Eric (11:57):
We like to do a lot of weird genre things yeah, if
you're, if you're, if you canhear my voice right now, please
look up Infinite Pizza.
Their music fucking rules.
It will get you so goddamn hypeto face whatever nightmare your
day has become.
Yeah, absolutely.

Matt (12:12):
Well, hell yeah, hell yeah .

Eric (12:15):
And I do have questions for Becky.

Matt (12:17):
Of course, of course.
But why don't we?
And we dabbled a little bit,got to know you a little bit,
but let's get to know these oddlist of questions that you've
prepped.

Eric (12:29):
Yeah, do we want to do it the normal way?
Do we just have Becky read offthe questions and then we'll
dive in from there?

Matt (12:35):
Yeah, let's do it the normal way.

Becky (12:37):
So do you want me to read all of them, or like go one at
a time?

Matt (12:41):
Well, how many you got?
Do you have like 25?
Because then let's call it abit, I've got like nine.
Yeah, we'll still call that abit, but you read the list and
we'll pick out the gems.

Eric (12:53):
Like dogs chasing cars Huh .

Becky (12:55):
All right, so is blood soup.

Matt (12:59):
Okay.

Becky (13:00):
You wake up as a horse.
What's your first move?
Okay, aliens, smash your pass.

Eric (13:11):
God.
I'm so glad I brought you onthis show, becky.

Becky (13:15):
If you could have a tail, what kind would it be?
And why?
Is arm wrestling just a coverfor dudes wanting to hold hands
and look deeply into eachother's eyes?
What's your fursona, yep?
What do you collect?

Matt (13:35):
Talent.

Becky (13:36):
How are you making space for childlike wonder in your
life?
And finally, cave explorationbad idea or the worst idea.

Matt (13:52):
Okay, I hope that this is.
I hope these are good optionsall bangers, yeah, all bangers,
yet again some of these I feellike will be pretty short, like
yeah, but yeah, I mean actuallyI said we we could pick out the
gems, but they might all bethey're all gems.

Eric (14:08):
So I'd say like, just start rocketing down the list
all right, blood soup eric your,take out the gate if my body is
a bowl which and this is I feelnotable it's not continue if my
body is a bowl and my and I,and, and by putting a spoon in

(14:32):
my mouth, I'm putting a spooninto a bowl.
I could see my blood being soup.
I could see blood being soup.
It is hot oh yeah, liquid so itis made of ingredients.
So, okay, just it was cooked,cooked in the furnace of my
belly.

Matt (14:46):
Okay, so just to clarify, in your hypothetical situation
here, to prove that your bloodis soup, I am putting a spoon
into your mouth which I'm goingto assume is not just full of
blood.

Eric (15:02):
Could be.
Could be at any moment.

Matt (15:05):
Why wouldn't I open your chest cavity and get blood that
way?
Let's ask the mortician whatwould be the best way to drink a
body of soup.

Becky (15:16):
Okay.
So, first and foremost, youwant to go from the arterial
system.
The closer to the heart thebetter, because that's where
you're going to get the bestpumping action to get the most
blood out of your body aspossible oh, pumping action.

Eric (15:30):
We're assuming the person's alive still I mean oh
yeah, I mean, you want it, youwant fresh you want it hot, you
don't want like day old yeah,you want that, chef Boyardee
blood

Becky (15:42):
soup, yeah no.

Eric (15:42):
It's not delivery, it's my arteries.

Becky (15:47):
Homemade is acceptable, but store-bought is also fine,
but what makes it soup?

Eric (15:53):
Eric, I think it's salty, it's warm, that's shit.

Matt (15:57):
I don't know that it should be salty to taste.

Eric (16:00):
I'll tell you this.
If I could say one thing aboutblood, it's hearty.

Matt (16:06):
Yeah, eric, we got it.
We all heard it Very good.

Eric (16:09):
Eric Very good.

Matt (16:12):
Very good, that's going to get us a Webby for sure.

Eric (16:15):
Yeah, Becky.
What are your firmly heldbeliefs vis-a-vis?
Blood is soup?

Becky (16:20):
I'm strongly in the blood is soup category, strictly
because it is.
It is a liquid.
There are salts and proteins init that's true, so you've got
multiple things.
Um, it is often hot.
It's at at least like 98, youknow like for most folks should
be while they're living.
Um, and it like it, it.

(16:42):
I feel like it would drink veryrich.
I don't know, it'd be like abisque, yes, okay, but it like
it, it, it, I feel like it woulddrink very rich, I don't know.

Eric (16:47):
It'd be like a bisque.
Yes, okay, it is.
It is by definition.
Blood is, by definition, themost nutritional thing in your
body.

Matt (16:53):
If you were going to to go ahead and slice open an artery
and are you drinking straightfrom the tap or are you filling
a bowl?
And, and if so, are you puttingpepper in there, like, how are
you seasoning it?
Croutons, is that?

Becky (17:11):
You know, I think that it's fine to season, to taste,
whether you're going fresh fromthe tap or you're transport, you
know, like you're catching itin some kind of a bowl or bucket
or something and then consuminglater.
I think both are totallyreasonable, like they're both
acceptable approaches for eatingblood soup.

(17:32):
Sure, it's also it's just againin the like argument for it
being.
You are constantly making it.
It is slow cooking within yourbody for the entire duration of
your life.

Eric (17:45):
It's a perpetual stew.

Becky (17:47):
Yeah, your whole body.
This is all stew.

Matt (17:50):
And is that not why we say we are stewing in our own
juices, or whatever you mightsay, uh-huh yeah.
Uh, uh yeah.
See how effective it is whensomebody else does it, Eric.

Eric (18:04):
Uh yeah, validate me.
Yeah Right, I think we've Seehow effective it is when
somebody else does it.
Eric, validate me yeah, right,I think we've answered the
question.
Now dig in.

Matt (18:10):
You've convinced me.
I say it's soup and I say digin Next question.
Eric, your horse.
Your first move is.

Eric (18:21):
Oh, bro, kick, I am kicking.
I will come into this world asa horse, the way I came in as a
human, kicking and screamingjesus, I will kick until I am in
field and then I will run yourpoor mother um, yeah, I, I don't
um discount that you would dothat.

Matt (18:43):
In this hypothetical are we like bam.
We are now a horse and it's mybrain you're in your bed in your
house.
Oh, I woke up as a wake youwoke up yep, it's like your
alarm went off.

Becky (18:54):
You thought you have to go to work uh-oh, you smash the
alarm with your hooves smash thealarm hooves uh yeah, I mean.

Matt (19:04):
Well, first all, if I'm waking up on my back as a horse,
I'm pretty sure I'm about todie.
I don't think they can do that.

Eric (19:12):
Oh, they can do that just fine, stunt horses.

Matt (19:15):
I don't think that's.
I think that's actually.

Becky (19:17):
Well, I'm not necessarily saying you're waking up on your
back.
You just you are in your bed.

Matt (19:21):
We wake up in a way that a horse would wake up.

Becky (19:24):
Yeah, you wake up functionally as a horse.
You wake up a sound horse.

Eric (19:28):
You know, what.

Matt (19:29):
I mean A sound horse.

Becky (19:30):
There's nothing wrong, you're completely fit.

Matt (19:33):
I would I think Healthy as I would probably scream, which
is to say nay, and then be like,okay, it is confirmed, I am a
horse.
And then how am I going to getout of this tiny room with this
now gigantic body?

Becky (19:50):
To go back to what Eric suggested.

Matt (19:51):
I mean kicking, feels like the right way to get out of all
of this Just bash through wallsuntil you're free.

Eric (19:58):
And Matt, I will say this I think, and I mean this as a
compliment, you are very horseum, you're gonna have to go
ahead and dig into that.
Yeah, you are majestic, you arebeautiful.
Okay, um, I feel like you'd bea very like a rich chestnut
horse.
Thank you but, you are also atall times keeping your head on a

(20:22):
swivel like a prey animal.
Like you're, you're in anysituation you're like okay, what
are you trying to kill me, areyou?

Matt (20:28):
I will, I will, okay, I will, I will fucking elbow drop
you, but now you can kick themto death with your hooves I see
what you're saying and Iappreciate that I do take as a
compliment, and I I would notnecessarily say if I were to
think of, like, oh, what animalrepresents me?
I don't know that, I'd say ahorse.
But now being having forced tobe woken up as a horse,

(20:50):
realizing that I have anacceptable reason to just
fucking kick somebody if they'retoo close to me or they've
snuck up on me, that is anability I would enjoy and
utilize.

Eric (21:04):
Bro absolutely, because think of every time anyone's
ever been kicked by a horse.
They never blame the horse, no,they blame the motherfucker
who's stupid enough to get closeto the horse's legs.

Matt (21:14):
To sneak up behind the horse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and would webe together as horses?

Eric (21:20):
Oh, dude, 100% I would run with you.

Matt (21:23):
Oh, are we free running the horses?

Eric (21:25):
oh my god, yes we can't be captured, would you be?

Becky (21:30):
um, okay, so fun fact, I took many years of equestrian
training, so like I, I can dodressage jumping.

Eric (21:38):
Uh, you know I've done.

Becky (21:39):
He is the coolest person I know I'm a strong believer in
what I refer to as skillacquisition, where, if there's
an opportunity for me to learnhow to do something, I'm going
to learn how to do it.
Just in case, what if I need it?
What if I'm in a protestsituation and I need to steal a
police horse?
I need to know how to ride thathorse.

Matt (21:57):
Yeah, because once you pull that trigger, you got to go
.

Becky (22:01):
Yeah, you need to go.

Matt (22:02):
You're all in.

Becky (22:06):
But you gotta go, yeah, you need to, yeah, you need to
go, you're all in.
Um, but my favorite kinds ofhorses when I was riding were
like draft horses.
So think of like belgians,clydes clydesdales are like the
most like, I think, the one thatpeople usually picture that
have like the feathering on the,like the hooves and like the
big, long, flowy manes.
Those things are like alcoholicson of the bitches tanks.
Those are tanks of horses.

(22:27):
So like a lot of likethoroughbreds and arabians are
like really beautiful andthey're more built for like
speed, but they they're just thespindly little legs.
Yeah, so I I feel like I wouldbe like a tough, like thick
horse.

Eric (22:42):
Fuck, yes nice, I think I'd be a Shetland pony.
I think I would live my bestlife as a Shetland pony.
So that's mine.
That actually tracks, given that, like you, you know you're only
5'8" oh yeah, for those of younot tuning in, just to get in on
the bit, becky has beenspreading the rumor around
Baltimore, to everyone that'lllisten, that I'm not actually

(23:05):
six and a half feet tall, thatI'm truly five foot eight, and I
use a lot of forced perspectiveand small objects to convince
people that I am six and a halffeet tall.

Becky (23:13):
He just stands next to really short people and tries to
trick you into thinking he'stall.
He tries to act really tall.

Eric (23:18):
I, peter Jackson, the shit out of everyone in my life.
Please spread this rumor asmuch as possible, yeah.

Matt (23:26):
I mean, I should play along, but and I will, good man
and I will the bit you know whatI was gonna.
I was gonna be a bad scenepartner and I have decided, as
all great scene partners do, tostate that I won't.
State that I won't Before wemove on.

(23:52):
This puts me in mind of a quickhorse tale.

Eric (23:54):
Oh wait, I never said you know that classic horse tale
that puts you in a mind of.

Matt (23:59):
I never said what kind of horse I would be.
I don't know enough aboutdifferent horses, so I'll tell
you what type of horse I wouldbe.
I don't know enough aboutdifferent horses, but I'll tell
you.
So I'll tell you what type ofhorse I would be.
If I'm at the paddock orwhatever, and some nice girl
comes for her first lesson ofriding a horse and she's like,
ooh, I want that one.
And she points to me standingover in the corner, I am the
horse that somebody has to go.

(24:21):
Oh yeah, he doesn't let a lotof people ride him, he's kind of
a very special type.
And so then this tiny girl,I'll walk up to her and be like,
and then just turn around andbe like saddle me She'll be fine
, yeah, they've got to earn you,not you.

(24:43):
Chris, get the fuck out of here,kick.

Becky (24:46):
That's a real horse chooses the rider kind of thing.
Horse chooses the rider.

Matt (24:50):
Yeah, but I want to be the temperamental horse that only
chooses certain people, and thenthose people feel very special.

Eric (24:58):
Oh, my God, yes.

Becky (24:58):
It's like they kind of paint you as kind of a dangerous
horse, but really you're ahorse with a heart of gold I'm
just a horse that hates certainpeople specifically chris, yeah,
specifically chris, fuckingchris, I don't even know, chris,
I hate chris you

Matt (25:12):
don't horse.

Becky (25:13):
You doesn't doesn't trust chris.

Eric (25:15):
I don't trust chris that's my new barometer for meeting
new people.
Does horse matt like thisperson?

Matt (25:23):
Okay.
So in Virginia, I believe,there's this place called the
Sassy Ass and it's this farmthat we went to when my parents
and Lindsay and I were doing ourlittle Virginia wine weekend
that we do somewhat frequently.
We were like, oh, let's pull inhere, because I think they had
some fall event at the time.
So we were like, oh, let's pullin here, because I think they

(25:44):
had some fall event at the time.
So we were like, oh, this couldbe fun.
So we go in and there is indeeda sign that greets you that
says I forget the sassy ass'sname, but there is a sassy ass
who's just free roaming theproperty and it's basically like
, if you run into the sassy ass,she's very friendly.
Do not attempt to take thesassy ass home, or, you know,

(26:04):
like, just leave it alone.
So we meet this donkey, we'rehaving all this fun, but there
are these two horses in theirown little you know area
enclosure.
Yeah, Enclosure.
But there's a sign that sayslike here are these two horses
wonder and magic.
Wonder has no eyes.

(26:25):
Magic is wonders, quote-unquoteseeing eye horse horses are so
good end of end of sentence nexthorses are so good.
Next sentence magic does notparticularly care for wonder.
And I became I became obsessedwith their relationship, of this

(26:50):
one horse begrudgingly takingcare of another horse who has no
eyes is this a metaphor for youand me?
Well, it is now.

Eric (27:01):
I wasn't trying to make that point, but hey, but God,
now I want to see my horse, soanyway go see Wonder and Magic
at the Sassy Ass.

Matt (27:13):
Anyway, that's my little horse tale.
Shall we move on to the nextquestion?

Eric (27:16):
Yes, man, we're cooking.

Becky (27:19):
The next question is aliens smash or pass?

Matt (27:22):
Depends on the alien.

Eric (27:23):
I know, I know, so we can go through a couple different
alien types, I think yeah, yeah,my, my main, my main barometers
, if I have the chance to, to,to, to make it with an alien, uh
, really, it's just.
Is everyone consenting and iseveryone being safe on that
smash, smash, smash, got to, gotto a real, real.

Becky (27:43):
Captain Kirk vibe.
Yes, you're like.
We have to boldly go.

Eric (27:48):
We have to boldly go, but we want to kind of visit the
types.

Becky (27:55):
Yeah, and starting from classic Star Trek of very
humanoid sexy lady in aloincloth situation.
Yes, those all feel likesmashes.

Eric (28:10):
Yeah, twi'leks from Star Wars the classic blue-skinned
Betty yeah.

Matt (28:16):
I was just looking up the Star Wars species of alien that
I want to reference, and Ibelieve it is a Togruta alien
that I want to reference and Ibelieve it is a Tog Ruta, which
is those aliens that got thosebig old, swoopy, cylindrical
looking like ears slash hairthat's coming down the side oh
yeah yeah what about thepredator from the film Predator?

Eric (28:41):
no pass, pass, pass, pass, pass pass pass.
I don't know I'd power bottomfor a predator.

Matt (28:47):
I would.

Becky (28:47):
Maybe I'd be, I'd be, scared of being hurt they've got
lots of tools oh yeah, oh, youknow, they're freaks they are
determined to get the win, likethey are very competitive, so
like I feel like that could be alot of fun.

Eric (29:01):
What about a classic no kissing though.
No, no, can't.
No, no, no kissing on the mouthor proboscis what about a
classic gray eric?

Matt (29:10):
how do you feel about that ?

Eric (29:13):
I feel like of the classic grays.
I feel like the classic graysare the most asexual of the
aliens.
I like where would you evenbegin?
Where, where?
What would I do with my hands?
Where would they go?
You tell me, bud here, here'swhat I.

Matt (29:28):
I will be cuddling with a classic you take that head, you
put it where you need it.

Eric (29:31):
I'd say yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, I I will say I would.
I would one hundo cuddle with aclassic gray.

Matt (29:39):
I feel they look like they need it every time you look and
they look so wispy yeah, Iagree with that I'm like come
here, old buddy, I'm here theylook cold they look cold, I'll
warm them I don't mind saying it, I'm out on cone heads, I'm out
I think I'm out on the conehead really, yeah, I don't know
it's not doing it for me okay,that's fair no, there's no

(30:00):
there's no shaming in this no,no, no, no, no.

Eric (30:03):
At what point?
Here's my sub question, andthis ties to my previous
requirements of consensual andeveryone's being safe.
Does xenomorph cross the lineinto bestiality?
Or are they intelligent enoughthat you're like, okay, I could
ethically have sex with you?

Matt (30:24):
Eric, I think I have to say to that why don't you say
what you want to say and let theaudience decide?

Eric (30:31):
I want to.
I want to get banged by thelittle mouth creature inside the
xenomorphs, big old head god,you're fucking god, just want a
bad person, bad little child,child size alien.
The condom in this situationwill have to be like the rubber
latex suit that I have to wearto prevent the acid blood.
Oh sure, but you're going topractice safe sex?

Matt (30:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, yeah they got acid blood.
It's got acid blood yeah, ohdamn.

Becky (30:57):
You got to be careful.

Matt (30:58):
Yeah, well, it's not fun if it's not a little dangerous,
is it not?
Exactly, exactly, okay, well,exactly, exactly, okay.
Well, that was a trulydisturbing question to answer,
and imagine, uh, eric, how aboutyour tail?
Oh, my tail what was the fulltail question?
We have a tail, do we want if?

Becky (31:15):
you could.
Yeah, if you could have a tail,like of of all of the available
tails in the animal kingdom,what kind of tail would you have
, and why?

Matt (31:25):
Ooh.

Eric (31:26):
I oh God, that's such a good I it's gotta I have.
I have two schools of thoughtfor me personally.
One is ideally, it's prehensile, it can move of its own accord
and can support my body weight,so like in that case, like a, a
lemur, yeah.

Matt (31:44):
That'd be pretty dope.
I was thinking the same.
Like any tree-based tail that'snot a bird, like a sloth, a
monkey, of basically any kind ofin the chimp family, anything
that, as you're saying, aprehensile tail that I can use
as a gripper yeah, that isproportional to my body weight
and that, as I'm just walkingaround, it can kind of be curled

(32:06):
around me like one of Dr,Octavia's, doc Ock's sentient
arms.
That's what I want.
I want it looming behind me atall times and similar to being a
horse if someone's behind meand surprises me.
Quack, just nailed you with mybig tail.
How about you, becky?

Becky (32:27):
I'm, of course, prehensile tail all day.
It seems like the most usefulof all the tails.
I hadn't even thought about thelike being able to hang from
stuff.
I was mostly just thinking likethat's an extra hand almost.

Matt (32:39):
That's what I want.
I can carry my bag.
It's holding my joint for meand bringing it to me.
Oh my God, Think how effectiveyou'll be at, say, the ballpark
when you're bringing otherpeople's drinks back for them
Now you got all this room, itcan wrap around all the drinks.
Oh yeah, you could wrap yournever to trip in those grocery

(33:01):
bags again.
You just put the tail throughthe bag holes and bring them all
in and you're good yep damn Iwish I had a tail.

Eric (33:10):
If I'm, if I'm forced to go non-prehensile, two very
different directions.
I'm gonna go either long-hairedcat big floofy cozy I will
always have like a cozy pillowwherever I go, or peacock oh
stunting on them hoes.
Yeah, I'm not gonna be able tomove this.

Becky (33:31):
I'm gonna fucking stunt on them.

Matt (33:33):
Just just a fan that unfurls behind you mating dances
non-stop just like shaking it Ithink I would just want, like a
good if.
If it can't be prehensile likea good Labrador tail that has
some girth to it, it's a sizabletail.
It's not like Jason Alexander'slittle stubby thing from

(33:57):
Shallow Hal, if we all rememberthat.

Eric (33:59):
Yes, I do.

Matt (34:00):
That little classic gem of cinema.
God.
It aged perfectly well, noproblems, no problems at all.

Becky (34:08):
No problems whatsoever.
Totally cool, everyone's greatwith it Everyone's good with
that great Jack Black GwynethPaltrow vehicle.
Holds up.

Matt (34:17):
Ooh, but yeah, it's behind me and, most importantly, it
gives.
I can't possibly control that.
It gives away my currentemotional state.
But everybody else gets toenjoy the wag or straight up

(34:37):
violence of a rigid, becausethere's nothing more
intimidating when you're sittingat home and you you got a dog
there and the dog just gives,gives you that rigid tail as
they're looking at somethinglike out the window and you're
just like or even more freaky atseemingly nothing and you're
like what when they see ghosts?

(34:57):
What fucking ghost is justwalking through my living room?

Eric (35:01):
oh dude, yeah, and, and it provides the benefit similar to
like wearing a face mask in thesubway in japan.
It signals to everyone thatlike.
It tells everyone who looks atyou like oh, that person does
not feel like talking to me.
Look at that tail, it's gonnalike you.
No longer have to exert theeffort to be like uh, please
don't.
I don't want small.

Matt (35:21):
They can look at the tail and know yeah, and unfortunately
it goes the other way too.
You know, another individualthat's looking pretty nice to
you is walking by All of asudden, that tail's wagging.
Nothing you can do about it.

Eric (35:35):
Got a mind of its own.
Hey, it wags for everybody.
Honorable mention spikydinosaur tail.

Becky (35:44):
Oh my God, Stegosaurus, tail Stegosaurus tail.
Stegosaurus tail.

Matt (35:47):
I read that they found a frozen intact dinosaur embryo.

Becky (35:54):
Oh, oh it's almost Jurassic Park time.

Matt (35:56):
And so I saw that from like a screenshot of a post on a
website that I don't go toanymore I think you know the one
post on a website that I don'tgo to anymore, and I think you
know the one and so I saw thislittle bird chirp and the
caption was you know what?
Fuck it, let's just do jurassicpark at this point yeah, you

(36:16):
know how.

Becky (36:17):
How much worse could it get?
How much worse can the?

Matt (36:19):
planet get.
Let's at least have some funwhile we go out let a raptoror
eat me.

Becky (36:24):
It's fine, I'm good.

Eric (36:26):
If Jurassic Park is any indication of how it will go,
it's really only the richassholes full of hubris that
gots to worry.
Well, a bunch of us will dietoo, but they'll get theirs.

Matt (36:41):
Jurassic Park franchise, starting with the novel, would
completely crumble if you justproperly paid your IT staff.
Yeah, compensate the peoplewith the real power, which is to
say the singular line of codethat makes all the doors work.

(37:01):
Just make sure Newman's paidand you're good.
Yeah, he won't have to resortto putting dinosaur stuff in a
secret bottle of Barbasol.

Eric (37:13):
No, no lawyers have to die on a toilet tonight.
None, no, lawyers have to dieon a toilet tonight.

Becky (37:18):
I'll also posit that we should be supporting more women
in STEM so that we can have moreteenage girls who know a Unix
system.

Eric (37:27):
Who save the day Absolutely Good tales, Good
tales, everyone.

Matt (37:36):
What's next?
Eric oh, arm wrestling as acover for men to look deeply
into one another's eyes?
Is that true?

Becky (37:42):
And to hold hands.

Matt (37:44):
The answer is yes.

Eric (37:45):
Yeah, 100%.
I never thought about it thatway until now, but it makes what
into one another's eyes.
Is that true?
And to hold hands?
The answer is yes, yeah, 100 Iand like, I never thought about
it that way until now, but itmakes what dudes are so
terrified of touching oneanother in any way.
That isn't fighting, it's the.
It's the closest they will evercome to holding hands and
maintaining meaningful eyecontact and there's still a
chance.

Matt (38:02):
You could like ruin a man's body by accidentally
cracking their bone in half.

Eric (38:08):
Yeah, so you kind of get everything out of it.

Matt (38:11):
It's the best of all worlds, really.
Yeah, for again the fragile man.

Eric (38:16):
What we'll call the fragile man.
And not only do you get to likefinally hold hands with someone
, finally.
Finally hold hands with anotherdude finally, finally hold
hands with another, with anotherdude, but everyone's cheering
for you while you do it,everybody's so excited
everyone's so excited thatyou're holding hands and looking
deep, deep, deep into eachother's eyes I've never.

Matt (38:36):
Of course I've.
I've had done my fair share ofarm wrestling, but I've never
done it like it.
When you picture arm wrestlingit, the picture that I feel like
always comes to mind is twoburly guys in a bar who are just
wet, who are just wet on onelittle tiny high top and
everyone is circled around.
I've never been in thatsituation, nor have I ever
witnessed it.

(38:56):
It's always just been like aweird, like hey, you want to arm
wrestle for this last littleDebbie?
You know, like that's alwaysthat's been the context.

Eric (39:07):
This puts me in mind of a of a of an old arm wrestling
story.
I know, let's hear it.
No, we recently watched a moviethat I did not know exist.
Did not know existed.
Matt Becky, have you ever heardof a movie called Over the?

Matt (39:22):
Top.
Maybe it vaguely soundsfamiliar.

Eric (39:28):
Who's in it?
Matt watch, it's sylvesterstallone is really the only name
on there.
You're gonna know it's aboutsylvester stallone, who is a
trucker, who is a like anunderground arm wrestler, like
he's a competitive I think Ihave seen clips of trying to win
his kid back like his kids lovethrough arm wrestling it is.

(39:49):
It is one of the greatest moviesI've ever seen.
Everybody, please go watch overthe tops for, like 1987, this
movie is bat shit, insane fromtop to bottom.
Now and we go fully and out andby like an hour and 15 minutes
into the movie we have only seenone instance of arm wrestling.

Matt (40:07):
Well, no, I mean, that's quite clearly a pretense of
things.

Eric (40:13):
I'll end this part of the question with my favorite quote
from the movie I love threethings Drive truck, break arms,
arm wrestle.

Becky (40:23):
His love for his kids is not even part of that truck,
break arms, arm wrestle.

Eric (40:28):
His love for his kids not part of that.
So everybody, go out and uh, toall the, all the men, to all
the to, to all all my boys, uh,go out and arm wrestle someone
today.

Matt (40:36):
You deserve it and as for the women who are who arm
wrestle, be afraid of them,because they're only in it for
the competition they they?
Don't need the pretense of thisfor a man-to-man physical
connection and intimacy.

Eric (40:52):
Yeah, she's posting up like oh hi, I have healthy
relationships with all the womenin my life.

Matt (40:57):
I'm going to destroy you, little boy.

Eric (40:59):
I'm here to hurt you.

Matt (41:01):
That was like an intimidating fact.
I'm suggesting women armwrestle children.
You shouldn't do that and ifyou do, stop.

Eric (41:09):
Someone's got to humble the children.

Matt (41:11):
They are.
You know what they're getting alittle bit too big of heads.

Becky (41:14):
They're too much these days, yeah.

Matt (41:16):
All right, what's next?

Eric (41:18):
So that's arm wrestling.
What do we got next?
I love these questions.

Becky (41:21):
Thank you.

Eric (41:26):
What's your fursona?
Speak more about what is afursona.
Now, matt, do okay, becky wouldyou like to.

Becky (41:29):
So, um, there are.
There are people that arefurries, that, um make elaborate
suits.
Uh, the fursona is the animalthat they are portraying and
your fursona, uh, can often havelike significant meaning to you
.
Like, if you are a very loyalperson, perhaps your fursona can
often have like significantmeaning to you.
Like, if you are a very loyalperson, perhaps your fursona

(41:51):
would be a dog.
Perhaps you are more aloof, youwould be a cat, things like
that, but it can really be anykind of animal.
And yeah, I just, if you weregoing to, if you were going to
make a huge, elaborate fursuit,what would your fursona be?

Matt (42:04):
My first impression is a sloth.
It's my very hell yeah, tell memore immediately uh well, you
know, as they say in hashtagsloth life live slow, die
whenever, and that's sort of howI feel.
I I go about my time and so Iwant to channel that energy and

(42:26):
fursona.

Eric (42:27):
So would you be?
Would you be would?
Would?
Would your fursona a would?
Would you just be matt shea,the the sloth, or would your
sloth have a name?
And if, and based on, dependingon the answer to that, what
outfits would you wear?
Um, I do think my sloth mighthave a cardigan on cozy I'm

(42:48):
imagining I was either imaginingcardigan or cargo pants and
hawaiian shirt no, no, I don'tlike that vibe for my sloth that
can be your sloth my sloth ismore cozy.

Matt (42:58):
I like he's about to sit down with a book like that's.
That's that's what I want toemanate from my persona.
What about?

Eric (43:07):
you Pudge.
Oh man, I was once told by afriend because I have a couple
friends who I do so much stuffin like convention circuits and
stuff.
I have a lot of friends Pro tip, if you're listening to this,
if you want to make a fuck tonof money, if you're an artist
and you want to make a fuck tonof very consistent, very good
money, do furry art and sellyour furry art at conventions,

(43:30):
you will make bank.
Um, but one of these friendswho is one of these artists told
me that my fursona would be ahyena.
Oh, it's hard to argue andthey're like with the the like,
with the lovable dumbness of adog, good cackle.

Matt (43:50):
You do got a good cackle.

Eric (43:53):
And I have enough PSI going in my jaws that I could
bite your arm clean off.
Really, I eat the bones.

Matt (44:02):
Yeah, you are.

Eric (44:03):
I get in there.
You are dangerous for sure, Ithink.
I think I would be.
Yeah, I'd be a hyena and Iwould wear a punk vest.
No other shirts, probably somelike torn up black jeans or
plaid punk pants.

Matt (44:19):
The more I think about it.

Eric (44:21):
I have a really good time with it.

Matt (44:22):
I think I'm just rocking a cardigan and nothing else.
No pants.

Eric (44:28):
Oh, you're Donald Ducking it with a cardigan.
I think I'm Donald Ducking itwith a cardigan and I think it's
open too.

Matt (44:33):
I want to say it's an open cardigan.
That I'm just.
I was going to say walkingaround, but you know ambling
about Instead of chest hair.

Eric (44:43):
you have moss in the pattern of chest hair.
Yep, your chest.

Matt (44:46):
I don't really have any desire to go to a convention
period.
But I suddenly want to go to aconvention as my sloth persona
and just very slowly amble aboutNot making a bit out of it, Not
saying anything.
A bit out of it, not sayinganything, Just like I want to

(45:08):
see how many TikToks are filmedof me progressing over the main
hall over the course of fourhours.

Becky (45:11):
It's perfect.
That's how this starts, by theway.
So now you're a furry.

Matt (45:16):
Take several sit breaks where I just sort of sit and
look about and folks.

Eric (45:21):
You can help Matt achieve his fursona dreams by becoming a
Patreon member today.
You didn't ask for this Patreon.
For $1, you get access to theDiscord.
For $4, you get access to theDiscord Monthly bonus content
20% off of you.
Daft merch Just had to tossthat in there.

Matt (45:37):
Didn't see that plug coming, but I didn't stop it.
Go right ahead.
And Becky, what about yourfursona?
Yeah, what about your fursona?

Becky (45:46):
Yeah, what's your fursona ?
So, uh, and I should haveprefaced this too it doesn't
have to be like a real animal,it can be fictional animals too,
so I would go unicorn, justbecause I like a lot of bright
color.

Eric (45:59):
And because so many people approach you Like so many
couples approach you at bars.

Becky (46:03):
I have been.
I have been approached to thirda few times you just got that
vibe about you.
I'm pretty cool, so I thinkpeople pick up on that from
across a bar, you know so you'rea unicorn?
Tell me about this horn um, I,I feel like, uh, iridescent,

(46:24):
iridescent as fuck.
Um, uh, spiraling obviously, uh, and then like maybe another,
like a, um, uh, what do you callit?
Like a, like a highlight color?

Matt (46:35):
kind of running through the spiral.

Becky (46:40):
Oh sure, okay, yeah, uh, my main would also be teal, um,
and even though I know that thisis a mistake white fur, because
it's going to be dirty anddisgusting immediately oh yeah,
that is definitely a mistake,but majestic, I mean that's,
that's what you picture there'san expectation, yeah exactly
that's how you picture a unicornyeah, yeah, see, during the day

(47:01):
you have your unicorn persona,but then at night you become the
nightmare.

Matt (47:05):
Oh, yes, yes, yeah.

Becky (47:08):
Yeah, when it's time to get nasty.
I also feel, as far as likeclothing goes for my fursona, it
would be like very high femme,yeah.
So like little, like kind oflike pleat skirt thing, short,
cute, like little crop toppysituation.
Cute she little crop toppysituation.

Matt (47:26):
She's a bad bitch and she knows what she wants exactly
yeah, okay, so collections Ithink is next eric yeah, oh yeah
matt, what do you call you?

Eric (47:38):
I feel like you have many collections.
What I've always said, I knowof a few of them what?

Matt (47:43):
what I've always said is I collect collections and Eric go
ahead.
What are some of my collections?

Eric (47:49):
Funko Pops.

Matt (47:51):
That's a big one.

Eric (47:52):
Much like a good friend of mine and Becky's, our friend
Lore, you collect garden gnomes,I do collect garden gnomes.
Though you actually seek themout.
Lore has garden gnomes thrustupon them well yeah, that's a
collection.

Matt (48:06):
That sort of started as a joke where I, when I was a kid,
I wanted garden gnome for somereason.
Then my parents got me one forchristmas and then I got one for
several christmases in a rowand then people were just
getting me garden gnomes for alittle bit.
But now that I have a house andwe put some out front, there's
like clearly not enough to makeit a thing like it's there's
more than one garden gnome, butnot enough to make it a thing
Like it's there's more than onegarden gnome, but not enough to
be like, wow, look at all thegnomes.

(48:27):
So now we clearly got to get tofix that.
We got to fix that.
We got some more pressingissues with uh, uh, needing
around the house before we getto the amount of gnomes.
But you know, we're gettingthere.

Eric (48:39):
Uh, my favorite, by the way, is the one it becky.

Matt (48:47):
It's riding a turtle and like pointing forward like it's
fucking the paul revere of ofgarden.
I like that one and he's on alittle stump uh, the geese are
coming, uh, yeah and oh, thegeese are here for sure.
Um, yeah, those squawky bitches.
Um, I have a pond in mybackyard, uh, so anyway, the um.
So I have that.
And but the biggest collection,probably the longest collection
, is the shot glasses.
In fact, my spring project isto get the shelves built for it,

(49:12):
because I have to buy my own,because I pulled up my
spreadsheet of my collectionjust to make sure I have the
number correct I currentlypossess 229 shot glasses.

Becky (49:21):
That's hell, I love that.
You also that you have aspreadsheet.

Matt (49:25):
Yeah, I have a spreadsheet .
Yeah, I have a spreadsheet.
Um it, matt loves a spreadsheet.
I do love this spreadsheet inparticular is necessary because
I have you know where they'refrom to to answer questions of
do you have a shot glass fromthis place or whatever?
Uh, because for a long time Iwas only getting them as gifts
or when people go places.
But I and that's part of thereason why I have so many,

(49:46):
because friends and stuff, whenthey're going on a trip to
wherever, they get me a shotglass, because they know I
collect shot glass.
So I just have a lot of themand for that reason I have
columns for who gave these to meand and on what occasion and,
of course, when.
Um, so then I can go back andand judge, judge my friends and
family based on how many shotglasses they've given me.

Becky (50:08):
You've got an accurate list of who gave you.

Matt (50:10):
I've got an accurate list.
I've got receipts.

Eric (50:11):
Is what I'm saying yes For my collections.
I'm very similar to Matt assomeone who spent most of their
life with undiagnosed ADHD.
I had many collections For along time.
I'd say my most uh, uh, my twomost impressive collection I
collected like lighters.
I collected seashells.
I collected bottle caps.

(50:32):
I collected uh all manner ofthings, but my two favorites I
collected uh dragons because Ihad a relative who every
Christmas and every birthdaywould get me like one of those.
If you ever been like theFranklin Mint back in the day,
they had like the really niceceramic dragons like under the
little glass domes.

Matt (50:52):
oh yeah, yeah, yeah and these, like epic poses, I still
have.

Eric (50:57):
They're in the attic at my parents house.
So many of those, and they'rebad ass.
And then I had a giant asscollection of corks oh well,
like I we keep corks from.

Matt (51:07):
Like we finish bottle wine , throw it in there because
we're classy adults.

Eric (51:11):
But I I, I really dig.
I would just find court becauseI love all the little artworks
that like companies will do onlysometimes they'll have like
whole frescoes and I don't evencount that as like I guess you
could say.

Matt (51:22):
I collect books too, because I have a metric fuck ton
of them and I'm always lookingfor more, but I don't think of
that as one of my collections.
I just love a book and I lovehaving them around.

Eric (51:34):
Yeah, becky, tell me about your collections.

Becky (51:37):
Okay, so first and foremost are knives.
I have a lot of knives whichstarted when I was much younger.
My older brother got a job atChesapeake Knife and Tool, which
used to be in White Marsh Mall.
Oh shit, he worked at Knife andTool, he sure did.
And so for like all the like,for like Christmas and stuff, he

(51:57):
would just be like everybody'sgetting this utility knife or
this, like you know, like littleassisted open, you know not a
switchblade, but like where youpush the thing on the back and
it opens.
So it started there, my bandInfinite Pizza.
We also celebrate Knife Smithsas a band where we every holiday
season we gift each otherknives and other survival tools.

(52:21):
So I have a bunch of firestarters and one of those
emergency saws that just lookslike a garrote wire, except it's
saw material.
Oh yeah, yeah, where it's like,you just hold it and go, yeah,
you like run it back and forththe wire.
So knives are a first, and thenI do.
Also.
I've been basically collectingtarot decks for the last however

(52:44):
many years also.
I've been basically collectingtarot decks for the last however
many years, um, largely becauseI have a really specific
project in mind that I want tomake that requires me to have
about 74 different decks at mydisposal.
I want to make a deck that isall tower cards, um, from
different decks, specifically sothat, like it, it's a thing
that I do at like parties andthings, um, when everybody's a

(53:07):
little bit, uh, drunk or youknow, like in their cups, uh,
where I will be, like I'm gonna,I'm gonna do readings come over
and it's like a nice way tohave like a little one-on-one
moment with somebody during likean otherwise like big party, um
, and I, you know, do readingsand it's very fun.
But what I?
I want this oops, all towersdeck so that I can, you know,
you start and you flip the firstcard over and you go okay, you

(53:30):
got the tower, not, it's, it'snot the end of the world.
I mean, this is, this is not agreat card, but like it's about
you know, uh, it's about rebirth, it's about you know we're
hitting rock bottom.
We can only go up from there.

Eric (53:42):
You know, do the whole you are silver lining the shit out
of this bad, bad card it's justthe first card, let's see what
else we pull.

Becky (53:49):
And then you pull it and it's another tower and you keep
pulling and you're like, oh mygod, what did you do?
What have you done?
What's?

Matt (53:55):
wrong with you yeah uh, how many of you killed yeah, so
that's a.

Becky (54:00):
That's a project that I want to work on favorite thing,
which is like for as part of acollection.
Um, I'm like looking around myoffice at other stuff I collect.
I I've been collecting a lot oflike weird art stuff more
recently too, just as like a uh,I've gotten really into the
kind of like real macro, likegallery wall style, uh, you know

(54:24):
art stuff.
I I'm not gonna turn the camerabecause I think it'll be weird,
but like I have like a wholewall of just different framed
things and weird art pieces andlike stuff behind me too very
becky's office is dope as hellit's a lot of stuff to look at,
because I'm in here a lot.
Yeah, yeah, I think that's greatGot to be.

Matt (54:44):
That's why I have all these Funkos up here.
Yeah, and the childlike wonderin our lives.

Eric (54:52):
So what do I do to manifest that childlike wonder?
This show?

Matt (54:57):
is a big outlet for it.
I think that's clear to anyonewho's listening.

Eric (55:01):
No, this is an amazing safe space because when I come
to the show I don't have tothink about anything other than
dumbass bits, and it's great.

Matt (55:10):
Yeah.

Eric (55:11):
It's phenomenal.
How else I do that time to justgo walk around in nature, to
like go to a park and look attrees, and just legitimately be
in awe of this insane machinethat is?

Matt (55:33):
nature.
I think that's great.
You are a big old toddler inthat regard.

Eric (55:37):
Thank you others too, but that one is is positive goo, goo
, goo, and I cannot stress thisenough Gaga, yeah, matthew
yourself.

Matt (55:49):
I agree with you with the nature part.
I do.
I try to.
I work from home so I, at lunchand after work, I try to get
out and take a little like 15minute walk about just to
stretch my legs and be out ofenclosed space.
Now that I'm here, I've gotthis like nature path, basically
literally in my backyard, so Ican just like hop on that, walk

(56:10):
around the pond, sit, have lunchat the pond.
Now that it's warming up, I'mback to doing that, which is
nice.
So those are nice, but I don'tfeel like I get the child wonder
.
It's more of like a breathesome fresh air and just like
relax for a hot second.
Um, I will say I am right nowbinging my way with lindsey

(56:33):
through taskmaster and I do feellike taskmaster as a show and
an exercise is based uponchildlike wonder, like 100.
Yeah, just like.
What kind of crazy things canyou do with this?
You know.
So what kind of mess can youmake here and make it funny?
I feel like that's what is thebig attraction to the show, is

(56:54):
it?
It's really down to basics,it's just people, truly playing
around.

Eric (56:59):
Gotta co-sign the shit out of Taskmaster God, Especially
because it's judged on the mostarbitrary, like Calvin Ball
rules.

Matt (57:07):
Yeah, Of like, whatever the whim of the host is.

Eric (57:10):
Another one other thing I will say.
This is probably the most purechildlike wonder thing I do when
I am out and about my day.
If, like Alyssa and I, gosomewhere and we're standing in
line to like check out at aregister or something or or what
have you, and there's like aparent, like holding a kid or
like a small child.
The second any kid makes eyecontact with me.

(57:32):
I am making faces at them, I'mjust sticking my tongue out,
crossing my eyes and the I livefor the look on their faces.
They will look around.
They're like hold on, aregrown-ups supposed to?
Why is?
Is anyone else seeing this?
And the second anyone elselooks.
I'm like right back to normalGaslight.
Children is what I'm getting at.

Matt (57:50):
Yeah, I was going to say it was cute and then became
somehow devious.

Eric (57:56):
Mm, hmm at the childlike wonder child.
I love making face, especiallygetting little face making when
they start like making facesback and we get a little
standoff, they love it.
Good on you, eric.
Yeah, gotta find some way tokeep occupied in the line at
wawa yeah, of course uh caveexploration, I think is our last
one yeah bad idea or worst?

(58:17):
Idea, yeah, I would we can allsay it on the count of three One
, two, three.

Matt (58:23):
Worst idea.

Eric (58:25):
Depends on the cave.

Matt (58:27):
Elaborate.
If the caves we're talkingabout in question are anything,
you need to crawl or shove yourbody into worst idea Very stupid
, yeah.
Your body into worst idea verystupid, yeah.
If you're going into, like aproper subterranean cave, like
echo, echo cavern, a cavern,more than if there's rails and a

(58:52):
guide sure oh yeah, but I'msaying fine, I'm saying that,
but you're the first one to findit sure oh, oh, yeah, like,
like oh, I've discovered.
Hello, hello, yeah, yeah, ifyou're just in nature and see a
small rounded cave that you canwalk into, a bear's in there,
don't go in there, don't go.
That's someone's homegoldilocks, so get out of there.

(59:16):
So in that regard, most of thetime I'd say bad idea.
If you somehow find an epiccave, yeah, go ahead and explore
I'd say but these people and Ithink this is the real spirit of
the question but these peoplewho are shoving their big ass
bodies into these tiny littlecaves?

Eric (59:35):
underwater oh it's the ones who, like you, the second
scuba gear comes into it.
Fuck you.
You deserve whatever happens toyou.
Exactly God nature will reclaimyou as it's right.

Becky (59:46):
We have no business.
We have no business there.

Matt (59:49):
You wanted to swim into your own grave Sure?
Go for it.
Just stay in there.

Eric (59:56):
Daddy, god made that underground cave accessible only
through a narrow passageunderwater for a reason, and you
are not it yeah, you are not it, we don't need to be in there.

Matt (01:00:07):
No, no, no, no.
If you must go in there, youmust make a tiny little remote
control camera thing.
That's how you get in there, ifyou must know you don't go in
there with your head.

Eric (01:00:19):
I have never in my life been more stressed by something
I'm viewing than when I'm likewatching someone explain like
how they get through some ofthese narrow gaps.
Like, oh yeah, for this one youactually have to take your tank
off and like put that throughfirst, and then you have to like
expel all the air in your lungsso you're narrow enough to slip
.
They're like go, oh, you meanthe thing keeping me the fuck
alive, sure.

Matt (01:00:38):
You mean the thing keeping me the fuck alive, sure.
I'll just take that off.

Becky (01:00:43):
I God, I no you couldn't pay me enough money to go into
these caves?
No, no, can we also talk aboutlike when you like, when
invariably someone dies in thesecaves, that like it's referred
to as like the name of the caveincident or whatever, and like

(01:01:03):
one of the more famous ones islike the nutty putty cave
incident, which is like that'sstupid, that's a stupid way that
is how everyone will rememberhow you died so that one the put
that on nutty putty the guy.
This guy was exploring a cavewith other people and found this
like very, very small sidepassage and was like I could fit

(01:01:23):
through there and ended upstuck upside down and if you are
upside down long enough you die, like that's just.
That is just the way of it.
They could not get him out.
He's still entombed in thereand they've like closed it off
to people.
But like it's referred to aslike the nutty putty cave
incident, I don't know thatguy's name, but like I know that
in the nutty Putty Caveincident I don't know that guy's
name, but I know that.

Eric (01:01:43):
I know he died in the Nutty Putty Cave incident and
that fucking sucks.

Matt (01:01:47):
Yeah, it's similar to the bodies on Everest, right, you
can't get them down, so if youdie climbing Everest, you're
just there.

Becky (01:01:56):
You become a landmark.
You become a landmark for otherpeople.

Matt (01:02:00):
I know Like Green Boots Everyone knows about him.
But you become a landmark forother people.

Eric (01:02:06):
I know like green boots everyone knows about him but
like that's your legacy, that is, you turn left at the boots
like unless, unless the name ofthis cave is immediately
followed by of wonders.

Becky (01:02:16):
Fucking miss me with that shit honestly, though, even in
that situation, the like, ifwe're going, aladdin rules that
cave of wonders, you couldn't,you weren't supposed to touch
anything no and or it wouldcollapse on you and trap you, I
think I think we we don't alwayssay listen to our advice.

Matt (01:02:37):
We often say the opposite.
But in this case I'm gonna sayif a cave opens up in the desert
and speaks to you, do not go inthat cave Go in.

Becky (01:02:49):
The opening is its mouth, with teeth and a tongue.

Matt (01:02:53):
Don't go into that.

Eric (01:02:55):
If the cave's first words to you are who dares disturb my
slumber, eric?

Matt (01:02:59):
you can stop it.
Who dares?

Eric (01:03:01):
Who dares Just do not, couldn't be me.

Becky (01:03:02):
Couldn't be me.

Matt (01:03:02):
Couldn't be me.
Eric, you can stop it.
Who dares?
Who dares?
Couldn't be me?
Couldn't be me.
Sorry, boss, I'm on the wrongdune, excuse me.

Becky (01:03:10):
Go back to bed.

Eric (01:03:12):
My bad, just a little.
Matt Shea-shaped cloud where hewas standing Out of there.

Matt (01:03:19):
Lisa Nalgaib, not here, see ya.
What do you think the cave doesin that scenario?
Because it does.
It just stand there like juststay open, fucking thought bitch
, and then goes back into the,into the sand but like does it
wait?

Eric (01:03:40):
like give it like an hour or so and and then it's like all
right, no one's coming.

Matt (01:03:44):
Damn, I guess I went a little hard on that one.
It's been 10 years sincesomeone came by.
I should have softballed it alittle bit.
Yeah, damn.
Work with a speech pathologistto sound more caring and
endearing.

Eric (01:04:00):
The next time it awakes, the first words out of its mouth
are uh, so what are you doingtonight?

Matt (01:04:06):
hey, hey you up, hey, no, don't run, don't run, fuck sup
you.
Uh, you like?

Eric (01:04:14):
gold, you like curses I don't mean it all, right er Now?

Matt (01:04:20):
you got some questions for our guests here.

Eric (01:04:22):
But first of all can we just take a moment to say top to
bottom, 10 out of 10 on allthose questions.

Matt (01:04:28):
No notes, no notes, nailed it, no notes.
You know, understood theassignment Understood the
assignment 100%.
Now Becky yes.

Eric (01:04:37):
I have a few questions for you and we can chew on these.
Sure Question one what fewquestions for you and we can.
We can chew on these, sure um.
Question one what is a lifelesson?

Becky (01:04:47):
that everyone should take from infinite pizza whoa um, a
life lesson that you should takefrom from infinite pizza, uh,
and from me specifically, isthat you should always carry a
knife.
The world is dangerous and youshould stay strapped, uh, and
currently it's only getting moredangerous.
So I think that we should, weshould stay ready, so we should

(01:05:09):
all be carrying knives.

Eric (01:05:11):
Yeah, and knife, knife, good tool.

Becky (01:05:13):
Knife, great tool.

Eric (01:05:14):
Knife tool for for cut rope, for for open things.

Becky (01:05:18):
You can make kindling.
You can make kindling open.

Matt (01:05:21):
People get blood soup you can brandish it open people get
soup, yeah, it's soup.

Eric (01:05:26):
What is your favorite style of knife?

Matt (01:05:30):
I am a big fan of like the assisted open yeah, just um,
that was very satisfying, thatwas so good also this one's got.

Becky (01:05:38):
It's got little, uh little hearts on it and it's
pink, pink.
It's very good.
Oh yeah, I like a high femmeknife.
Yep, yep.
All of my knives do performfemininity, including this one
which is like a sexy leg.

Eric (01:05:53):
Oh, yes, that is such a bitchin' knife.

Becky (01:05:58):
This was like a knifesmith's gift, I want to say
, from one of my bandmates.

Eric (01:06:02):
That's cool.
That boot was made for stabbing.

Becky (01:06:05):
Oh, and I also have a whole ring of these, which.
These are teeny, tiny littleknives.
They all have their own littlething because they are legit
sharp.
Oh, look at that, it's a littlebigger and they are Damascus
blades.
I don't think you can tell inthis.

Matt (01:06:20):
So they are all with the patterns and shit.

Becky (01:06:23):
Yeah, also a knife's misgift.
Um, I it's.
It's rare to find a knife thatI don't like.
I'm probably not a fan of, likeyour military style, like a
k-bar, just yeah, I mean, thoseare very functional, um, but
they, they lack a certainfemininity and elegance to me a
certain junice yeah, follow-upquestion.

Eric (01:06:45):
This ties back to infinite pizza.
What's the weirdest or wildestthing that's ever happened at
one of your shows?

Becky (01:06:51):
um, my favorite, my favorite thing is uh.
So we played a house show.
Um, like you know, punk house,the basement, and we were the
last band going on and like,leading up to us, looking at the
like two or three other peoplethat played before us, it was
like a singer, a singer guitarplayer, just like acoustic, uh,
and then like a two-piece, butquiet we are, we are fully a

(01:07:15):
band, like there are, yeah,there, we have amps and a
big-ass drum kit and and of that.
So, like someone called thepolice when we started playing
Like we are pretty sure aboutthat, based on response time, by
the time the cops got there, wewere done and we had already
packed the van, a quiet housewith people hanging out.

(01:07:39):
We're still in the basement,like getting ready to say our
goodbyes, and somebody goes, thecops are here and somebody put
on like a record and we werelike we are just some young
people engaging in quietdiscourse, listening to records
together Couldn't be us.
You know, we did hear somethinga while ago, but it's gone now.

(01:08:00):
I thought you mentioned itabout 20 minutes ago.

Matt (01:08:01):
Yeah, you might want to go check next door something a
while ago, but it's.
It's gone now you mentionedabout 20 minutes ago.

Eric (01:08:03):
Yeah, it was.
You might want to go check nextdoor some racket I want to say
coming from the neighbor

Becky (01:08:08):
yeah, it's like I was across the street, I, I don't
know, hard to say, couldn't beus with our sonic youth records.
Oh no at a reasonable volume umso reasonable we started joking
that we were faster than thelaw at that god what that?

Eric (01:08:23):
what a bad at, yes, instant marketing.
Yeah, yeah, so fucking good,faster than the law.
Uh, all right, so that's sothat I tried to get some
questions that cover justcertain facets of of the
badassness that is your life.
Uh, what are some cool thingsabout the mortuary arts that you

(01:08:43):
wish more people knew?
Yes, I'm very interested inthis.

Becky (01:08:47):
Okay, I mean there's a lot.
I will start just by saying Iknow we've talked a lot about
blood already, but I will alsosubmit that blood is probably my
favorite bodily fluid, justhaving worked with a lot of them
.
It's kind of pretty and itdoesn't smell bad.
So those are the criteria,because a lot of them are not

(01:09:10):
pretty and do smell very bad.

Eric (01:09:14):
Or it not even doesn't have to be mortuary arts.
What do you wish more peopleknew about death, dead bodies,
anything like any myths orcommon beliefs that you wish to
dispel?
Sure?

Becky (01:09:24):
They don't sit up.
They do not sit up, they don't.

Eric (01:09:30):
You're saying this with the tone of someone.
You had to explain this tosomeone who was in training.

Becky (01:09:34):
Who thinks they sit up?
So many people, so many peopleare like.

Matt (01:09:39):
So they just they're on a table and they just are like,
they're like oh, it's like therigor mortis.

Becky (01:09:44):
That is not how that works.

Matt (01:09:46):
What I've never heard of anyone being like oh yeah, dead
bodies, they sit up when theyget hard.

Becky (01:09:51):
You live a blessed life, wow, it comes up like anytime I
bring it up, like that's one ofa few questions that typically
comes up, they sit up right Likeis that true?
Or like they make noise, andit's like no, not exactly.
I mean there's like there'sgases and stuff that are
happening that find an exit, butlike they're not.

(01:10:13):
Like if they're making, noiseLocomotive.
Yeah, if they are moving orseeming like they're making
sounds actively, that is not adead body.
You've got bigger issues.
Call 9-1-1.
What are you doing?

Eric (01:10:27):
that man's alive.
Yeah, uh, and and that's just aside tangent question has there
, have you ever been in asituation where, like someone,
someone came to you as a, as abody, and it turned out they
were, like there was any doubtcast as to whether or not they
were dead.

Becky (01:10:47):
No, no, nowadays there's a lot of people that are making
a lot of checks in a lot ofdifferent ways to verify that,
yes, you are dead.
Now I'm not to say that thatdoesn't happen.
There was a case in I want tosay it was like Alabamaabama a
bunch of years ago about a manwho passed away at home under
hospice care.
But it turns out he hadn'tactually passed away, just his

(01:11:10):
pulse was very low.
So he did actually wake up inthe funeral home and scared the
shit out of those morticiansthere you are.

Matt (01:11:19):
You're both sort of flirting with the plot of
Autopsy Room 4, a short story byStephen King, which is
excellent, which is all aboutsomebody who gets bit by a rare
snake I think Snake or spider, Ithink it's a snake.

Eric (01:11:34):
He's still alive.
He's still alive, he can feeleverything.

Matt (01:11:36):
He's still alive and very much conscious and is sent to
the autopsy room but can't acton anything.

Becky (01:11:45):
So here's a fun thing to know, just in general.
So when you cut into a deadbody because the heart's not
beating, there's not blood flow.
But if you cut into somebody,even if their pulse is very
reduced and they are still alive, there will be blood flow, so
people would be able to tellpretty quickly that you are not
actually dead in that situation.
Just a fun fact to know.

Eric (01:12:06):
What do you even say?
And you just kind of it's like,oh my bad, pull pressure.

Becky (01:12:12):
Call 911.
Sorry.

Matt (01:12:15):
Wrong table.
I've got just the Band-Aid.
Hold on.

Eric (01:12:20):
Bonus question and I'm teeing this up for you, becky,
because we have discussed this,but I feel like it's a good PSA
why do I never want to diewithin the borders of Washington
DC?

Becky (01:12:30):
Okay, washington DC has some really intense funerary
laws, particularly laws aroundcremation.
I'm not sure if any of this haschanged since I got out of the
funeral service kind of industry, but at the time that I was
working in funeral service oneof the funeral homes I worked in

(01:12:53):
was in Silver Spring.
So we did often do funerals forpeople who passed in DC, lived
in DC.
The way it works if somebodypasses away in DC and you want
them to be cremated, you shouldhave started working on that
before they died.
But the medical examiner in DChas to grant, basically approve,

(01:13:15):
cremation.
So if they passed away at homeon hospice, in a hospital, we,
the funeral home, has to takethe body to the DC medical
examiner with the deathcertificate that we got from a
doctor or the hospital wherever,and they have to basically rule
out that there was any kind ofhomicide or suspicious anything,

(01:13:37):
because you know if you crematea body it really does get rid
of all of the evidence here.

Matt (01:13:42):
So they have to approve that Save maybe the bullets.

Becky (01:13:44):
Yeah, it cost.
At the time that I did this itwas $75 for the cremation stamp
on the death certificate whichyou had to have before you could
cremate.
Dc was often very backed up.
Like this was holding up peoplebeing able to funeralize, like
to have their funeral, havetheir memorial service, because

(01:14:05):
the cremated remains we didn'thave them yet, we didn't even
have the body back yet, so likeit would hold things up for a
very long time and it was justlike needlessly complicated.
Assume still now they had anonline death certificate system
so that, like, if you passedaway at like holy cross hospital
, they could enter all theinformation and have like a

(01:14:27):
digital signature added to it.
Now again, if you still wantthat person cremated, we then
have to like get the electronicstuff and print it out and take
that physically with the body.
So it's like this likecombination of like very high
tech system and very low techsystems that like just kneecap
the whole process.

Eric (01:14:47):
Wow.

Matt (01:14:48):
Yeah.

Eric (01:14:49):
So if you get, so if you're dying in.

Becky (01:14:51):
Washington DC crawl crawl if you must go to Virginia, go
to Maryland, get out of DC.
Pick a side, get out, yeah.

Matt (01:14:59):
Yeah, I mean I'm not too shocked.
Yeah, the dc has some legal uhhurdles regarding death, I mean,
without being a state.
They have many hurdles likethat in many different areas you
want to hear my theory?
all right.

Eric (01:15:14):
Here's my theory they want to discourage cremation as much
as humanly possible, because ifyou cremate a dead body you
might especially in washingtondc, with a high level of
politicians in the area youmight find some things you don't
like, like the fact some ofthese bones appear to belong to
reptiles very good, so very goodlook, just do your research,

(01:15:36):
throwing it out there.
Uh, you know, look deeper um.
But this brings me to myspeaking of looking deeper, yeah
, lots um becky, and I did nottell him this was happening.
Okay, could you please do atarot reading for my co-host,
matt shay?

Becky (01:15:53):
I sure can oh boy so I've got three different decks and I
would like for you to choosefrom them.
So um have the.
This is the.
This is a Luna Somna deck.
It's pretty.
It's very, uh, very like a moonbased Um.

Matt (01:16:07):
I have a.
You're going to hit me with abunch of tower cards, right, no?

Becky (01:16:10):
no, I haven't made that yet I haven't made that, yet it
was a ruse.

Eric (01:16:15):
You can see how actually nervous.
Matt is mad, is it's great?

Becky (01:16:20):
um, this is my marigold tarot, so it's a lot of like
skeletons, a lot of gold onblack.
It's very pretty.
And then, um, I have myadventure time tarot deck, which
is one of my favorites, butyeah, of course, of those three
do you have a preference?

Matt (01:16:33):
uh, yeah, let's go with adventure time.
I think straight to it.

Eric (01:16:35):
I had a feeling yeah, um yeah, and while while we're
shuffling up uh, this was abonus question from al Uh, becky
could Think more towardsbinding think more towards

(01:17:05):
protection.

Becky (01:17:07):
If there is someone that is doing harm, perhaps in a very
high position of government,you don't necessarily want to
curse or hex, because that couldcome back on you Double and
thrice.
Right, right in fact.
So you more want to bind thatperson or cast for protection
for yourself or your loved ones.

Eric (01:17:28):
And when you say binding someone, what does that mean?

Becky (01:17:31):
Is it like?

Eric (01:17:31):
preventing them from doing more harm.

Becky (01:17:33):
Yeah, so think of your classic the Craft, when our lead
character, sarah, was trying tobind Nancy from doing harm to
others or harm to herself.
Got it?

Eric (01:17:48):
It's like wrapping them in cosmological bubble wrap.

Becky (01:17:52):
Yeah, stop it.
It's like swaddling.
It's like swaddling an angrychild.

Eric (01:17:58):
Or like my cat when I take her to the vet.
Nope, we're just going to wrapyou up like a little burrito so
you can't hurt yourself orothers.
Exactly.

Becky (01:18:04):
Matt, typically for tarot readings, I usually ask if you
have a question or just like ageneral how are we doing?
What's the future hold?
What are you thinking?

Matt (01:18:16):
You know Eric is not lying .
I didn't know this washappening.
So I don't have a questionprepped.

Becky (01:18:23):
No, you don't have to.
Like I said, it's just more ofa general like.

Eric (01:18:27):
We could do a vibe check.

Becky (01:18:28):
Oh yeah, you want to do a vibe check yeah.

Matt (01:18:31):
Check my vibe, becky, yeah .

Becky (01:18:34):
All right, so I'm going to cut the deck.

Matt (01:18:37):
So I'm going to kind of Smiling.
So I'm going to kind of smilinglike a fucking idiot.
Anyway, continue, that's right.

Becky (01:18:41):
I'm going to kind of run my finger down the deck like
this and I'm going to tell you,to tell me, stop when you want
me to cut the deck.
Okay so all right, ready andstop.

Eric (01:18:51):
Okay, I swear to God, matt , if you get a tower on the
first card, I will fucking losemy mind.
You're going to lose more thanthat.
Let me tell you.

Becky (01:18:58):
All right, you got an Ace of Coins, which this is one of
Jake's kids.
All right, you've got Six ofCoins, and this character is
Princess Bubblegum's weirdlittle brother.
Okay, and then Ace of Swords,which is Princess Bubblegum's
uncle.

Matt (01:19:21):
Very, very appealing.
I was going to say very nice,but I don't know.

Becky (01:19:23):
All right, give me two seconds.
I have my little notebook forthis.
Oh okay, it's really cool.

Eric (01:19:30):
Becky has like a handwritten notebook.
I only saw the cover and itlooked cool.
Studied the tarot and madenotes about each one.
It's really cool, very nice.

Becky (01:19:39):
All right.
So Ace of Coins, a Very nicewealth.

(01:20:05):
Or, um, like grounding, like,like things coming from the
earth.
So ace of pentacles representsnew beginnings, grounding earth.
How have I been shaped versuswhat do I give shape to?
That's what I have hereinteresting, and then six of
coins yeah uh six of coinsrepresents generosity, financial
and uh financial and as well asemotional support.
So it's goodness, it'sprosperity, giving of yourself,

(01:20:29):
giving and receiving generously.

Matt (01:20:32):
Okay.
So far, so good, I feel.

Becky (01:20:35):
Feels overwhelmingly positive Ace of Swords,
everything before.

Eric (01:20:40):
this is a lie and you will suffer.

Becky (01:20:44):
So again, aces are are typically again like new
beginnings yeah this is adifferent suit, right, so swords
are um more action based.
Yeah, it's, you know,aggressive, uh so cutting to the
heart of things please sorry,I've learned everything I know,
like so much about what?

Matt (01:21:01):
I know of Tarot from Becky .
I'm being red, Eric, if youcould just shut the fuck up
while the expert's telling me myvibe.
I'm sorry.

Eric (01:21:08):
I will change Namaste.

Becky (01:21:09):
All right.
So this card representsbreakthrough, clarity, a sharp
mind, revelation, new ideascutting to the chase.
It's cutting to the heart ofthe matter new energy, the
opportunity to gain betterunderstanding of your
unexpressed desires and alsofears.

Matt (01:21:27):
Ooh yeah, got a few of them.

Becky (01:21:32):
So we've got.
So the vibe is very grounded,the vibe is very generous and
the vibe is cutting to the heartof the matter.

Matt (01:21:40):
That's me.

Becky (01:21:42):
I dig it that feels like my vibe at the moment.
Yeah, that was awesome.
Thank you for letting me readfor you.
Thank you for doing it Iappreciate.

Matt (01:21:50):
I've only had like two other tarot readings in my life,
so uh okay, good, I thought younever had it done, but I yeah
no, I've had it done just likeliterally twice Gotcha.
So thank you for that, becky'samazing for this.

Eric (01:22:05):
Becky has read my tarot many times.
She was talking earlier aboutlike the when it's late night at
a party and like people are,like that's when it's when Becky
cooks Sure, sure.

Becky (01:22:16):
Pick a spot at a table and I just put the decks down
and I'm like who's up, who's up.

Eric (01:22:21):
Take a number, there will be a queue.
It's amazing.

Matt (01:22:24):
Well, that was delightful and, in general, this was
delightful, becky.

Eric (01:22:28):
This was so great Becky.

Matt (01:22:29):
Thank you so much for coming on to the show.
Thanks, guys, before we let yougo, is there anything you want
to promote or plug, coming upwith Infinite Pizza or anything
else?

Becky (01:22:40):
We don't have any shows booked right now, but we are on
Bandcamp.
We're on some of our stuff's onSpotify, but everything that we
have recorded right now is upon Bandcamp.
We are on Instagram asInfinitePizza666, I think,
because that's funny, very good,so you can follow me there,

(01:23:05):
follow the band there, um, andas soon as we have any shows
upcoming, we will be loud aboutit.

Matt (01:23:08):
For sure, absolutely, and we will.
Uh, we'll drop some of thoselinks in the show description if
people want to go right to thatinsta and whatnot.
Uh, so yeah, so becky.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
I do think that's about at theend of all our exploring here
today.
Yeah, real quick.
Let me just hit the business.
You didn't ask for this atgmailcom.

(01:23:30):
That's where you can send usquestions.
You can also do that at.
You didn't ask pod.
That's the letter.
U didn't ask pod.
Instagram, tiktok, blue Sky,facebook, sort of.
We're also on YouTube, sort of.
Uh, we're also on youtube, sortof.
So you can check those out.
Uh, the thought line410-929-5329 leave us a cheeky
little voicemail.
We'll play it on the show.

(01:23:51):
You don't even need to includea question if you don't want to.
So there's that.
And, eric, did I miss anything?
You already did the plug forthe patreon, so do that.
Give us money, please, pleasegod, give us, give us your money
yeah, if you like this showmatt can achieve his fursona
yeah, if you want to have mebecome a sloth with a nice

(01:24:12):
little cardigan, no pants,you're gonna have to support me.
I'm sorry, uh, so please dothat, and, um, I think that'll
about do it from all of us here.
You didn't ask for this, uh, myname is matt shea my name is
eric poach and I was becky thiswhole time.

Eric (01:24:29):
There you go oh, you were becky this whole time, god
fucking knew it and listen.
You didn't ask but, matt, I,we're gonna need that patreon
money for your fursuit, becauseI don't know if you know this
about fursuits, I might havetalked about this before.
Thousands of dollars on the lowend oh yeah, it's a rich kid
hobby, like ac units built intothe house and you're gonna want

(01:24:51):
that, you're, you're gonna oh no, I, because I'm already
familiar with, like, the mascotlifestyle of.

Matt (01:24:58):
Yeah, and this is true, any mascot you see at a sporting
event or whatever is someone intighty-whities and nothing else
inside that, because it's justso goddamn hot.
So, with that, put that on yoursleep timer while this episode
plays out.
Huh, picture that shit.

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