119 | The Eric Ultimatum - You Didn't Ask For This

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Poch (00:00):
So this is appropriate.
Okay, the theme of today'sepisode is going to be very Eric
forward.

Matt (00:08):
It is going to be Eric forward, eric dominant.

Poch (00:11):
Eric dominant, eric supremacy Sure, if that's what
you want to say, eric.

Matt (00:18):
Nope, you already said it, eric.
Ultimatum We'll get all theborns in there.

Poch (00:23):
The Eric ultimatum yes, an Eric ultimatum, we'll get all
the borns in there.
The Eric ultimatum yes.
So I've been watching theRighteous Gemstones Finally.

Matt (00:31):
Thank God, Finally.
I've been pushing it on you.

Poch (00:35):
This is something you all need to understand about me.
I might have brought this upbefore.
I legitimately like y'all needto understand that I start
watching things like three yearsafter their culturally relevant
minimum.
Like I with few exceptions,it's usually at least three
years after it's started thatI'm like all right, I should

(00:58):
probably check this out.

Matt (01:01):
I agree that that is normally the case with you.
This out, I agree that that isnormally the case with you.
But if you're about to sayRighteous Gemstones, is that
even though this year was thelast season and it wrapped up,
this is also the year I watchedit.
I tried to catch up in realtime.
I feel like it's a Schitt'sCreek kind of show where by the
time the last, it only got tothe mainstream of everybody

(01:24):
being like you got to watchRighteous Gemstones in
preparation for the last season.
Only got like to the mainstreamof everybody being like you
gotta watch righteous gemstonesin preparation for the last
season gotcha like I thinkthat's when it hit the zeitgeist
, and it was already ending um,but.

Poch (01:34):
But I say all that to say in the season I'm on season two
and in this season, going backto eric forward eric um starring
eric roberts oh yeah, now I'mwatching season two Eric Foward,
eric Foward Starring EricRoberts oh yeah, now I'm
watching season two.
I'm looking at Eric Roberts andme and Alyssa, both the entire
time like where have I seen thisguy?

Matt (01:54):
I know where you've seen him.

Poch (01:55):
And, as it turns out, Matt the man is like Do you want me
to?

Matt (02:00):
Can I guess where I think you discovered?
You know, eric Roberts from.

Poch (02:04):
I do have it written down here, like what my Eric Roberts
touchstone is, so please.

Matt (02:08):
Your Eric Roberts touchstone for you.
Eric Roberts, if you don't knowhim by name, you know him by
face.
He's a great character actor.
He's in a bunch of stuff.

Poch (02:16):
He's in over 700 movies.
He's one of the most prolificactors of all time.

Matt (02:23):
He's really in a ton of stuff.
You probably know him right offthe bat from the dark knight
yes, that is my touchstone, hewas.
He was maroney in the darknight and like when I'm the dark
knight.

Poch (02:35):
That's right, but then I started looking through his.
I was like holy shit and andlike I started, and that's
really the.
The subject of today's coldopen is it's fucking with my
head, because like this dude'sin over 700 films.
I've probably been seeing himin movies my entire life and
just not realizing it A hundredpercent.
And like he's, he's like he's.

(02:56):
So how long have I've just beenlike Eric Roberts, pilled and
not understood that that waswhat was happening.

Matt (03:03):
I mean Eric Roberts.
What's your Eric Robertstouchdown?
My air under the dark night.
What was happening?
I mean Eric Roberts.
What's your Eric Robertstouchdown?
The Dark Knight.

Poch (03:07):
I'd say the Dark Knight.
Okay, I mean, I think that'sone of his.
Oh, fall from this high up.
Fall won't kill me, fall won'tkill me.

Matt (03:13):
I'm counting on it.
I'm counting on it.
Yeah, I don't think.
I think Eric Roberts similarly,for our generation, the Dark
Knight was his big like, hisbiggest role, like biggest
highest profile role of our,like, high school age.

Poch (03:34):
But he's in so much, yeah, like as I was looking up Eric
Roberts, like most peoplediscuss him online.

Matt (03:40):
Everyone has, like each generation has different fucking
eric roberts touchdowns likefor for some people he'll be
like oh, the guy from uhrighteous gemstones, like for
season two, yeah, because but heand I mean he's so different,
like just take those two roles.
He from maroney wildly to um.
I forget his character's namein Junior.

(04:02):
Thank you, totally different.
Totally different.

Poch (04:04):
So different, an amazing actor.

Matt (04:08):
Another amazing actor in this same realm, I would say, is
the recently passed away,unfortunately, harris Ulan, who
you know, eric, as, if nothingelse, as Buddy in Ozark.

Poch (04:24):
Yes, he's incredible as buddy in Ozark.

Matt (04:26):
Yes, he's incredible as buddy in Ozark I didn't know he
passed away.
He died last week when we wererecording this.
He died last week.
Oh my God, he was like, Ibelieve 92.

Poch (04:37):
Did not have that on my bingo card?

Matt (04:39):
No, but Eric, you know him from other stuff.
Yeah, this is the thing.
He was the judge inGhostbusters 2.

Poch (04:46):
Yes, oh my God, it's the Scolari brothers.

Matt (04:50):
Gave the chair 20 years ago.

Poch (04:53):
He also plays the oh, that was Buddy in Ozark.

Matt (04:56):
That was Buddy in Ozark.
He also plays the crooked copin Scarface that Al Pacino
famously calls the cockroachCockroach.
You fucking cockroach,Cockroach, you fucking cockroach
, you fucking cockroach.
That's Harris Yulin too.
He's in so much stuff.
He also has an arc on Frasier.
I will say A multi-episode arcon.
I want to say season four, butI don't know that offhand.

Poch (05:19):
Earlier today, as Alyssa and I were getting breakfast,
she turns to me and says what'sthat she's like, what's that one
character's name from Frasierand Matt, the sheer you might've
felt, the tremor from the sheerwillpower it took me to not
immediately respond.
Oh, you mean Frasier, Eric, shewas talking about Niles.

Matt (05:43):
Oh my God, she didn't know niles's name.

Poch (05:46):
I know, I know, uh, I've never watched.
Um, shut the fuck up, you'venever watched frazier.
This is not the first timewe're talking about this eric,
you've never.

Matt (05:58):
You're telling me, you've never seen an episode of an
episode of eric.
I am standing up and off camera.
Now You're telling me you havenot seen.

Poch (06:08):
Frazier, I think it gang.
I think it makes him so angryevery time I bring it up that he
forgets all the other timesthat I've brought it up.

Matt (06:16):
I can't you know what it is.
I can't imagine a human whodoesn't know and love Frazier.
I know, and I'll say this toyou, eric it's on Paramount+,
you can watch it anytime.
My wife is watching Frasierwith me for the first time, like
from the beginning.
Yeah, it's our, like, one ofour wind down shows now.

Poch (06:37):
Toss and salad scrambling eggs.

Matt (06:39):
Absolutely.
Oh, and you've never seenFrasier.
I'll tell you this I, assomeone who very much lives to
make my wife laugh, yes, I haverarely heard her laugh as hard
and as often as during any oldepisode of Frasier Damn.

Poch (07:01):
So, like I'm telling you, dr Lindsay Barr is a, is a is a.
You'll pardon the pun, she's atough laugh.

Matt (07:05):
It's a high bar.
It's a high bar If you get anLOL, a laugh out loud, out of
Lindsay.
You fucking had a good joke.

Poch (07:14):
Oh, that makes my day.
Oh, yeah, it makes if I makeLindsay crap.

Matt (07:18):
It's a daily challenge for me.

Poch (07:19):
Oh, I can't imagine brother.

Matt (07:21):
I mean the pressure I'm under Eric.

Poch (07:23):
Her standards are so high, impossibly high, impossibly,
unreasonably high.

Matt (07:31):
I don't know where we go from here.
Yeah, start the show.
All right, great, let's do it.
Fuck yeah, brother.

Poch (07:39):
Nailed it.

Matt (07:52):
Well, hello everybody and welcome to you.
Didn't Ask For this.
It is the podcast answeringlife's least pressing questions.
My name's Matthew Shea.
My name's Eric Poach leastpressing questions.
My name is matthew shea, myname is eric poach, and joining
us today we have a certifiableyou daft giant.

(08:13):
He I.
I feel like he's been heresince the beginning, mr poach,
oh, what is that?
Are the trumpets sounding?
It better be.
I'm praying for the king.
All hail the king baby.
It's Eric Dairy King.
11 to Eric-o in the house.

Eric D'Errico (08:37):
All hail, thank you, thank you, everybody
Appreciate it, appreciate it.
Thank you.
You may or may not hear me, butthank you, we don't know.

Matt (08:47):
We did have some technical difficulties and we are now
recording on a prayer.
Yes, yes, uh, but eric, but heyguys, hey it has been, you've
been with us for so long.
A loyal question submitter butnot long enough and yet not long
enough.
Yeah, it's never long enough.
How, eric?
I usually start saying ericpoach, how are you?

(09:08):
I'm gonna say eric derrico, howare you?

this won't get confusing at all with no erics
but uh uh, things are goinggreat, I'm doing well.
Um, my son, your godchild, isuh six, six, six months old now.

Matt (09:23):
Yes, yes, thanks to our advice.

He's going strong , he's living strong.
Thanks to you guys.

Matt (09:30):
We were going to check it.
It is one of my questions Ihave for you.
I did want to know how DerekEric Derrico is doing Also one
of?

Poch (09:38):
yeah, because he stands to inherit all of our lands in our
untimely deaths.

All of our families.

Poch (09:45):
Nothing, our friends Nothing.

Matt (09:47):
Eric Derek Derrico, everything Our godson will
receive it all, all our kingdom.

Perfect, he's doing great, I'm doing great and
I'm ready to rock and roll andprovide our millions of
listeners some entertainment.

Matt (10:03):
Hell yeah, we love to hear it, we love to self-actualize
that way Manifest and attack,manifest and attack.
So that would imply that you'vebrought some questions for us.
Is that true?
Yes, I have.
Well, mr Poach, unless you haveany upfront questions for the
king, I say we jump right inbecause you have also brought

(10:27):
with us something.
No other guest thus far has youbrought us a game.
Is that correct?

I did because you guys, you don't get to play a
game together ever.
It's always one or the other.

Matt (10:41):
Only when we go over to the neat cast do we get to do
that.

So yeah, we'll do a game at the end, which will
be a surprise until we get there.

Matt (10:51):
I love it, I love it.
So let's reveal those questions, then, and jump right into
business.

So, question I have nine, so I'm going to read
them off and then we'll choosethe best from there.
So, number one, why do youthink I'm nicknamed?
Read them off and then we'lllet's go the best the best from
there.
So, number one, why do youthink I'm nicknamed the dairy
King?

Poch (11:11):
It is one of my other questions, I also love it when a
guest provides their ownmeaningful interview questions.

You can save that for later if you want to.

Matt (11:23):
Well, all right.
So dairy King question markyeah.
So Dairy King question markyeah, Dairy King, why.

One focused on Matt.
Matt, what's a spreadsheet thatwould help Eric's life?

Poch (11:35):
Oh, that's good Damn.

Matt (11:41):
I mean, I've created many for him that mostly go unused or
referenced, but you were sayingDerek King, one for Poach.

Yep, create a rave that Matt will actually
attend and a joy, yes.
Question four you have asuperpower.
The superpower is you couldcause a minor inconvenience in
someone's life.
What do you do if a publicrestroom had a yelp review?

(12:12):
What's considered a five-startoilet experience?
Yep, that's really funny if youhad to combine two muppets to
describe your personality, whichtwo Muppets would you choose?
Okay, ooh.

Matt (12:28):
That's tough.

If you had the same machine that Steve Urkel
had to turn into Stefan Urkel,what would happen when you
walked into said machine?

Matt (12:41):
Oh yeah, this is going to be a good one.

And then, if you legally had to marry a sandwich,
what type of sandwich wouldmake the best spouse?
Yep.

Matt (12:50):
Best spouse sandwich.
All right, I've got themwritten down here.
And as always, solid gold, yeah, obviously, that goes without
saying.
I think the one for each of us.
We should do, right, eric, 100%.
So we should do that.
I got these others written down, so why don't we start with the
top three, or the first three,beginning with why we this is

(13:14):
interesting why we think he'sDairy King, yeah, and then,
after such a time, you can giveus the real answer In interview
as we go.

Oh, I like that Breaking the form of that Eric
poach?

Matt (13:31):
Why is Erica the king?

Poch (13:34):
of dairy spaghetti at the wall.
You were district manager fordairy queen and district manager
for dairy king.
You worked at a dairy queen atsome point in your life and were
like an.
You were a pillar of thecommunity in your time there,
Spaghetti at the wall.

Matt (13:49):
You won a milk chugging contest at the age of 14.
And you conquered the milkchugging contest and then
immediately became lactoseintolerant.
Yeah, you got any other goodoptions?

Poch (14:05):
I was gonna slide one under the door at the last
minute and you kind of coveredit, which was you're actually
massively lactose intolerant.

I was just saying .
The dairy queen angle seems alittle simple to me I know too
simple.

Matt (14:19):
He called you simple I'm not gonna say I

expected, but I expected better out of you.

Poch (14:25):
No, that's fair.

Matt (14:26):
It wasn't his best effort.
I'll help you out, Eric.
You secretly have a creamery.

Poch (14:38):
Worked on a dairy farm.
I would absolutely believe.

Worked on a daily farm.

Matt (14:42):
You have that salt of the earth about you connecticut is
known for its dairy farmsabsolutely, but so is wisconsin,
where you used to live andoperate a cheese farm and
factory and distillery anassumed name?

Poch (14:58):
did you become like the heisenberg of milk factory?

Matt (15:01):
he had to hide out, he's the dairy king he had to hide
out.
He's the Dairy King.
He had to hide out.
Okay, so what I'm picturing nowis you actually had some sort
of monopoly over the cheddarindustry in Wisconsin and then
had sort of this mafia sort ofaltercation.
You had to be hidden away.

(15:23):
You're in witness protection.
Yeah, You're to be hidden away.
You're in witness protection.

Poch (15:25):
Yeah, you're in lactose protection.
I always like, I like toimagine yeah, like when you're
being interviewed, you're all inshadow, your voice is distorted
and they're like so how muchwere you taking off the top
during?

Matt (15:35):
this time.
And you mean as we are viewinghim now in silhouette, and a
changed voice.

Poch (15:42):
Yeah, Silhouette and a changed voice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is correct, that iscorrect, but I'm imagining the
interviewer being like so howmuch were you skimming off the
top as you were embezzling thesefunds and you just look at the
camera and go 2%?

See, I was going to go, we skimmed away.
I was going to go with theskimmed away.
I was going to say you wereslicing off the top.

Matt (16:02):
So much better, Matt.
Can we cut that?
I was saying slice off the top.

Poch (16:07):
Slice off the top.
The pasta-bilities are endless.

Matt (16:11):
Pasta-bilities.

Poch (16:13):
That doesn't have dairy in it.
Eric, I love a creamy pasta.
Matthew, I will knife a bitchfor some penne alla vodka.
Well, who wouldn't?

Matt (16:21):
Who wouldn't, who wouldn't ?
Okay, so I assume we're in theballpark.

Poch (16:27):
We obviously nailed it.

I assume, we're in the dairy cow pen.
I will say one of the thingsyou said is in the ballpark.

Poch (16:36):
Which thing was it?
I swear to God, if you tell meit was working at Dairy Queen,
I'll be so angry.

My parents used to own a dairy queen.

Matt (16:46):
Oh, growing up used to own .

You say they owned a dairy queen.
They retired.
They retired.
I became dairy king and thenthey sold the business.
Damn, I was only dairy king forone day, but I kept it.

Matt (17:07):
Is the Dairy King.
Okay, so the 11 is just whatnumber you had to make it work
on X.

My favorite number is 11.

Poch (17:14):
Likewise Did you just Were you just swimming in free ice
cream and, more importantly, didyou just have buckets of
Blizzard toppings on tap?

Free ice cream my entire life growing up.
I would never buy ice creamanywhere because I would just
get free ice cream at work.
Yeah, I would be able to inventmy own blizzards.
So whatever toppings I couldpossibly think of, I threw in
that little machine and thenalso for birthdays.
Instead of bringing cupcakesfor your birthday in school, you

(17:46):
brought little tiny ice creamcups.

Poch (17:48):
Oh my god, dude, you were a pillar of the community.
You were hands down the coolestfucking kid in your school,
Also at the very least, everyonewas excited for your birthday.
Yes, Tangential question whatis the wildest fucking thing you
ever put in that blizzardmachine?

Matt (18:06):
Tell us those dirty blizzards.

A hot dog, a hot dog.
I made a hot dog blizzard once.

Poch (18:13):
That is my fucking king.
A glizzard, a glizzard.

A glizzard.
A glizzard Was definitely thewild Guzzling blizzards.
It was disgusting, but I did doit.

Poch (18:29):
You flew too close to the sun and then licked it.
You're my fucking hero.

Matt (18:36):
Let me ask you this Okay, I would think you heard our
brief.
You daft and afraid.
Introduction to the segmentwhen we went to a Dairy Queen.

Yes, yes.

Matt (18:53):
What notes do you have for us?
What notes?

Poch (18:56):
do you have for that Dairy Queen?
From your very limited exposureto it From that episode months
ago.

Matt (19:07):
Months, it was over a year ago, my guy Son of a bitch.
I do not recall, but I canlisten back and I will give you
extensive notes, god, no, Iwouldn't ask anyone to do that.

Poch (19:19):
If someone put a gun to my head and asked me to tell them
what we talked about, I can'tget Eric to re-listen to tell
them what we talked about in.
I can't.

Matt (19:24):
I can't get eric to re-listen to these things, let
alone, let alone, moment.
What's that?
I live in the moment.
Yeah, I know you do.
You can't be contained orpinned down by such cannot be
domesticated.

Poch (19:38):
I am catch and release you , you are catching release.

Matt (19:42):
I'm catching you, little devil you you're the catch, I'm
the release.
All right, well, jerry.

Poch (19:50):
King.
That's so fucking awesome.
That is a great.
That is amazing.

Matt (19:53):
That's a great reveal.
That's a great way to have doneit.
The truth has come out.
All right.
So we got two questions foreach of us.
Mine is what spreadsheet wouldbenefit Eric the most?
Yes, mine is what spreadsheetwould benefit Eric the most.

Is that right that would help Eric's life,
benefit him the most.
Whatever you want to take it,and poaches is a rave that.

Matt (20:12):
I would actually want to attend.

I assume that means without For free, for free
, I was going to say without myfee, without my mosh fee and
worth noting.

Poch (20:23):
there typically aren't mosh pits at a rave.
Depends on the rave, butusually by default.
Most people assume there wouldnot be a mosh pit there yeah,
because the whole goddamn thingis a mosh pit.

Matt (20:35):
Spread me, matthew.
Spread all right.
Well, I'll get you in thesheets one way or the other.
Well, let let's see what couldI put in a data bank that would
help Eric.
Well, I would say the thingswe've talked about in each
episode.
But again, that spreadsheetexists, yeah, and he can consult

(21:01):
it at any time.
Yeah, doesn't, but could.

Maybe a list of the Google gripes that you guys
have done maybe.

Matt (21:08):
Don't worry, we have that too, Weird.

Poch (21:12):
That's weird, and we have stress tested it.
Oh, we've stress tested it.
Alright, I tested Matt's stressfor the fact that he created
this cheat.

Matt (21:23):
I don't know, Eric, do you need a budget document?

Poch (21:28):
Honestly, a budget document would help.

Matt (21:31):
What could I build for you ?
That would you know what Ithink?
I just thought of it.
And this transitions to alittle bit of business we have
to sneak in regarding bingo,because the next episode we're
going to do our bingo update.
It's been, you know, now thatwe're getting into July, here
we'll do a bingo update of thefirst half of the year, and that

(21:53):
is important because it wasjust revealed when we're
recording this that our boy,joey Chestnut, is returning to
the Independence Day, nathan'sfamous hot dog competition.

Poch (22:08):
Thank God, yeah, and that was a bingo square.
Richard the Lionheart returningfrom the Crusades.

Matt (22:15):
That was a bingo square and it is your Eric Derrico's
fourth bingo square in a row.
You need just one more, onemore.
What?
What's the one and the one morethat you need to be the first
person to get you daft bingo?
Is that some major outletcredits corpo cuck as the word

(22:40):
of the year?

Goddamn To threading the needle I am going
to spam every AI with that word.

Matt (22:51):
You better be asking chat GBT to tell every single
submission to work in Corpo Cook.

Poch (22:58):
My God, the needle you must thread.

Matt (23:02):
Everyone out there, make this happen for the king Come on
Work it.
Just drop it in your casualSlack conversation.

Poch (23:10):
Say God, kyle, what a corpo cuck Like Goku unto the
spirit bomb.
Lend him your algorithm.

Matt (23:18):
That being said, I think one of the other bingo squares
that I think we can mark off, ifit hasn't been officially
marked off, is from a low, Ibelieve.
Wait, was this last year yougetting into Survivor?
Is that this year?

Poch (23:33):
Last year was me getting into Survivor.

Matt (23:35):
Yeah, that's what I thought, Because you did.

Poch (23:37):
I did.
I super got into Survivor.

Matt (23:39):
But you only know the new era really.
I don't know my history.
You only know the new erareally, I don't know my history.
And the bits of lore I haveleft you in an enthusiastic haze
via voice memo, tiktok linksand voice mail links and TikTok
links.
I would make a spreadsheet foryou because we're coming up on
season 50, which will have abunch of returning players.

(24:03):
I would make a spreadsheet foryou, eric, that has where these
players came from, like theiroriginal seasons, matthew, yes,
seasons that are notable, thatyou have to, seasons that I
think you can skip, as someonewho's seen every single episode
of Survivor, yes, and other funlittle factoids in preparation

(24:24):
for season 50.
That is a spreadsheet I thinkyou could actually use and get
into.
Yes.

Poch (24:30):
That would be insane and wonderful.

Matt (24:33):
I'm sure somebody's already done it out there on the
internet, but I would make myversion for you, but it wouldn't
be your, yeah it wouldn't bethe correct one.
It wouldn't have the, itwouldn't have the gin and shake
law that I could bring to it.
And guess what?
Everybody, I have done justthat.
I have built the survivorseason 50 prep cheat sheet.

(24:55):
But why should Eric be the onlyone who benefits, I ask you?
I've made it available forpublic consumption, link in the
show notes and on the Discord.
All right, eric, let's talkraves, let's talk mosh pits.

Poch (25:11):
So if I could, craft, a rave for my dear, dear friend,
matthew Shea.
So here's you're going to.
Instinctually, people are goingto wonder like, oh, what music?
That is immaterial.
What Matthew needs to enjoyhimself at a rave are creature
comforts, creature comforts thatI myself often find myself

(25:34):
craving when I'm at a show ofany kind.
Very interesting, so here'sthing number one One it's going
to be a silent disco.
Okay, so it will be one ofthose affairs where everyone
brings their headphones or theirear pods and that's where the
music's being pumped in yeah somatt at any time can just pop
them right out and be in thequiet eric, you're starting off

(25:57):
on the right foot.

I gotta say yes, yes, yes I think there needs to
be a three foot space betweenpeople.

Poch (26:04):
Yes, like like a healthy, a healthy buffer it.
It, I think, clearly labeleddancing your face off zones.
So like almost like Ooh, youknow how.
Like you know, it's like a poolthat gets gradually deeper.
So like at the way, at the back, it's just people talking about
their day, like you know, likethere's like 10 feet between

(26:26):
everyone and as you get like alittle further in to Matt's
comfort level he can, the peoplestart to get a little closer,
the lights start to get a littlemore intense.

Matt (26:35):
Just get your feet wet at the at the shallow end.

Poch (26:40):
A grave-edient Like a gradient but with a rave.

Matt (26:46):
It almost sounds like you're trying to kill me, but
sure I know it sounds verycryptkeeper by the end of this
rave.
You will be in your grave.

Poch (26:59):
Rave to the grave.
Oh, now I have to do acryptkeeper at a rave.

Matt (27:07):
You don't.
You're an adult man who canmake your own choices.
Make sure you stay hydrated.

Poch (27:13):
We wouldn't want you to die out um so crypt keeper or
mark hamill's Joker?

Matt (27:24):
A little bit of both.
A little column, A a littlecolumn B.

Poch (27:28):
He didn't play the Crypt Keeper.
Did he Watch out for those glowsticks?
They'll knock your lights out.
He always does the little.

Matt (27:42):
No, it's John Kasser, by the way.
Way is the voice of thecryptkeeper.

Poch (27:46):
Yeah, john casser um from baltimore, huh from baltimore
apparently baltimore's own oh ohyeah, I had no idea uh, so
there would be a a grave dint tothe to the thing, so you'd
you'd be able to.
I feel like matt will behappiest when he can choose his
level of engagement anytime Also, so the dance floor will have

(28:09):
that levels of intensity he maychoose.
It'll be a silent disco.
Pop your headphones in and out,and there will at all times be
a quiet room available to you.
At any point you can just belike I'm just gonna, and you're
gonna sit in a lounge chair.
You're gonna hydrate.
There's screens showing you theshow you can like.

Matt (28:30):
Fiddle with the volume now is the quiet room.
Also, is it the same as like acrying room at a church or a
child forward event?
You know what I'm saying.

Poch (28:48):
Yes, but there's lots of snacks.

Matt (28:50):
Okay, but what I'm saying is is the quiet room really
quiet or will there be screamingbabies there?

Poch (28:56):
Oh no, screaming babies.
No, no, no, Just checking thiswill be like your own little.
Yeah, this is your own lounge,All right.

Matt (29:02):
Okay, yes, yes yes, yes, yes eric, this is this.

Poch (29:06):
Of all the the mosh pits you've pitched me, this is the
most appealing to me I, I thinkso, and then and then what we,
what we could also do, is,because you've got to have a
rave outfit, because you'regoing to a rave, but like I want
to think I, because when Ithink of you, matt, I think like

(29:27):
, cozy, rave, okay.
I think like, like you're,you're, you're covered in
glowing light up shit, but it'sa cardigan, nice, nice, you're,
you've got, yeah, you've gotsome like well ventilated cargo
shorts to go with it and like,yeah, you, you've, you've, we'll
, we'll just take your presentoutfit and we'll bedazzle it.

(29:47):
We'll throw some cool kick-asslights.
We have a little, a little, alittle bandolier of glow sticks
perhaps the uh, perhaps thecorners of the pit have like a
little lounge, literal loungesection of couches or yes, and
and for the music um, the beautyof the edm rave scenes and

(30:08):
stuff is, if it exists, there israve version of it that goes so
fucking hard and they'll catchus like I'm talking.

Matt (30:18):
Billy joel remix oh, eric, I was just about to you.
You better be careful here withwhat you say.
Oh yeah, yeah, no, no, no Likethey will think I'm going to
abide a Billy Joel rave edition.
They will come.
Correct man, all right.
They better, they will comecorrect.

Poch (30:35):
I will tell you this man I was bopping out my car the
other day to like a hardcore EDMremix of Jolene by Dolly Parton
.
It rips so hard.
I was listening to one of 17 byStevie Nicks, oh sure.

Matt (30:51):
I believe you're referring to the song Edge of 17.
Edge of 17.

Poch (30:54):
Thank you, it's always been present, but recently there
has been a new push of 80sstuff that's getting remixed
really well, what what is old isnow new again.

uh rebirth a renaissance a renaissance a
ravissance a ravissance scenesfrom an italian edm concert
matthew shea, the ravants manMany have described me as such.

Poch (31:25):
Yes, oh, I can only imagine it now.
I know you haven't seen Oliverand Company, am I remembering?

Matt (31:32):
that correctly, you are correct.

Poch (31:33):
I have not seen Oliver and Company.
For those of my babies who have, can you imagine the things?
You choose to remember thethings you choose to get lodged
into the crystalline forms of mybrain.
Yes.

Matt (31:43):
I have not seen Oliver and Company.

Poch (31:45):
But for those of you who know what the fuck is up, just
imagine the rave remix of likewhy should I worry?
Why should I care?
Oh, it would rip so hard.
So, yeah, I think we can getyou set up nice.
I think we can get you set upnice, I think we get you set up
nice.

Matt (32:05):
I think you've done good.

Poch (32:06):
I think you've done some good work and, of course, I will
make sure that wherever you'resleeping that night, like we,
we'll get a hotel you'll.
You'll be, you'll have, we'llstumble back to your hotel like
you won't have to drive ortransport.
Don't drive home.

Matt (32:18):
You're good, oh nice, very good, um, eric, eric's.
I think this is good, I thinkthis is very hell.
Yeah, I think we're on theright track here and I think,
for the next uh question, Ithink you, since you've got a
bunch here, I want to know fromyou, derrick king, which one you
want us to answer, becausethey're all bangers.

(32:39):
They're all bangers.
You're making this once againoops, all bang, oops, all
bangers, all bangers, no mash.

I think I want to know what a five-star bathroom
Yelp experience is.

Matt (32:49):
Yeah, it was only a matter of time until we got to it.
So when you're talking publicrestroom, you mean like any old
thing, from like a McDonald's tolike a restaurant, to a hotel
lobby.

Poch (33:01):
It's got to be a bathroom, like the best experience, like
a five-star experience.

Public bathroom.
Public bathroom.

Poch (33:07):
Yeah yeah, I didn't need a reservation to have access to
this bathroom Like I am.

Matt (33:12):
Okay, I'm going to start out with a bold claim, with a
tweak.
I'd like a bathroom attendant,but I want him outside the
bathroom.
I don't want the pressure ofknowing he's waiting by the sink
.
I want him, in his little standor whatever, to be right

(33:33):
outside.
The maitre d' of the bathroomneeds to be outside of the
bathroom and he can provide mewith whatever information
bathroom attendants provide.
I don't think I've everactually encountered a bathroom
attendant in my day.
I'm not in the right taxbracket for it I have and it's.

Poch (33:51):
And it's every bit as awkward and anxiety inducing as
you would think, because theentire time do I tip this guy,
do I have to do?
I talk like what do I?
I?

Matt (34:01):
I would.
I'd be all bit central with him.
It reminds me of the time thatI pulled up to the Lord
Baltimore Hotel in Baltimoreappropriately, baltimore here.
It's a very nice hotel.
The job I was doing at the timewas having a gala there, so we
were staying overnight in thehotel as part of the thing.
Anyway, at the time I wasdriving a 1997 Pontiac Grand

(34:27):
Prix and so I pulled up and Iknew immediately like the guy in
front of me is driving like aBMW, there's a Lexus behind me.
You know, there's all theseluxury cars.
And I remember, getting outwith my keys, that I twirled and
handed to the guy and said, hey, not a scratch.

(34:50):
I'd have to do something likethat when I found a bathroom
attendant, but I would like theworks in terms of the kitchen
arrangement.
Mouthwash, I want moisturizer,should I?

Poch (35:06):
choose to use it.
And and let's, let's pretendfor a second that we're.
You know we're living in likethe cap, we don't care about
environmentally conscientious.
I want single use mouthwashessingle use?
I want to know that, no otherlit like like little, like you
know, like just little littleswisher, bottles, just yeah,
travel size, travel yeah so I II'm not pulling from a jug and I

(35:28):
don't know what the fuck I'llaccept a Listerine strip if the
attendant gives it to me, pullsout the little mouth strip for
the gentleman, don't mind me,here's mine.
If you've ever watched videos ofhigh precision CNC cnc

(35:49):
machining where, like they cutmetal out of other metal and
it's like they did it to suchlike the tolerance is so small
that when it slides in you can'teven perceive a seam yeah that
is what I want with the doorsituation yes, yes, no peakies,
no, no peekies, because floridaceiling stalls for for our
friends across the pond youmight be listening to this and

(36:11):
who who may have visited america.
America is egregious in thefucking gaps we have in stall
doors, so, like when the stalldoor is closed, they're still
like easily an inch and a halfof just open gap and they can
see all.
And the toilets are alwayspositioned so that that seam
lines up right with my rightwith my biscuits and gravy.

(36:31):
Yeah, right, with my business,and I hate it.
The best gravy, my biscuits andgravy.
Do make of that what you will.

Matt (36:40):
I was gonna say normally a liquid isn't used in that
euphemism, but okay, the bestbathroom door I have encountered
.

Poch (36:49):
these are in National Harbor in Maryland, at the
Gaylord National Resort.
I knew it would be the goddamnGaylord Dude.
Their bathroom stall game is sobecause each stall is its own
self-contained little room andthe door not only goes
wall-to-wall no seams it goesfloor-to-ceiling.

Matt (37:09):
Yeah, that's what it needs to be.
It needs to be floor-to-ceiling.
I want to feel like I'm in myown room and I'll tell you an
establishment, a chainestablishment that isn't around
these parts anymore, is removed,and it brings me great sorrow.
Bahama Breeze did that, bahama.

Poch (37:24):
Breeze had like rip bahama those stalls were like little
cabanas and oh, I was by myselfin there.

Matt (37:31):
I didn't feel any pressure .
I felt like I could disappearinto that room.

Yeah, yeah, I think within the stall the
toilet seat cover needs to notrip the second you take it out
of the thingy oh, yes, yes, oh100%.

Matt (37:45):
Yeah, those protective covers need to be.
And also, why do we need thelittle thing that we have to
immediately rip to go in themiddle?
You know what I mean?
I know it's like probablystructural integrity or whatever
.
It is 2025.
We can't find a way to get theprotective seat covering to come

(38:07):
out the way it needs to.

Poch (38:10):
Yeah, when I was in Iceland they had the.
There was a bathroom.
I was somewhere.
They had the electronic liketoilet seat where the strip is.
You don't do anything.
There's just like a conveyorbelt that goes around the bowl
of the like, around the rim ofthe seat.
That's just continuous and itresets and it knows Like a

(38:32):
doctor's office, like a doctor'soffice, but like you press a
button, it automatically feedsit.
It's like a little machine andit goes like you watch the old
strip go into the thing and thenyou watch it go for like
another two to three seconds,because whoever designed that
knew that I need that portion ofthe toilet seat, no matter how

(38:53):
flawlessly clean it is, to be asfar away from me as possible.
Yes, so like it is fed into thebowels of hell and then I am
given fresh ass toilet seat.

Matt (39:04):
It's immaculate yeah, that what we've described so far
already gets five stars from meyeah, that's a.

Poch (39:12):
That's a five stars for me .

Anything you would add dairy king will there
be a urinal at this?

Matt (39:18):
bathroom, not in mine, I no need.

Poch (39:22):
So I, I matt will never use a urinal.
No, um, never again, and Irespect that.
Not after the drama.
What I, but what takessomething to a five star for me,
is when I'm at the urinal andthere's an activity, meaning
there is a screw like uh, uhespn zone in fucking baltimore

(39:44):
used to have these, where you'dhave a little TV screen you
could watch little sports games.

While you're pissed, watch a little game.
While you pee, watch a littlegame, sure.

Poch (39:50):
Or funny comics those of us Like visually entertaining.

Those of us with the ADHD appreciate that Matt.

Matt (39:58):
Yes, I think I very well might be one of those people,
but just not diagnosed.
But I do see the appeal.

Poch (40:06):
I do see the appeal, I do see the appeal it's, it's, it's
very nice.
I also, if it's a urinal aurinal that there's the really
classy ones where there's nowater at the bottom, it just
seamlessly flows into like anempty slot also had those were
all over iceland.
I don't want to have to flush,I don't like where it's, just
like you don't have to doanything, just no, I don't want

(40:26):
to touch anything.

And I think just one there's just one no room for
someone to sneak next to you.

Poch (40:35):
Nope, no signs.

Matt (40:36):
And if there is, I better have that fucking divider have
the divider and I would say thenlike several feet in between
you and the next divider, sothey're like little urinary
stalls.

Poch (40:51):
How do we feel, gentlemen, about the musical ambience?
Do you like music in yourbathroom?
Do you like silence in thebathroom?

Matt (41:01):
I think it needs to have some sort of ambience.

A little elevator music, maybe of some sort.

Matt (41:06):
Yes, and that is exactly what I was going to say.

Poch (41:08):
It's a little like uh lounge, like elevator lounge.
Remix of sandstorm by darude.

Matt (41:13):
Like you wouldn't notice it when you walk in, but if it
was not there you'd be like whyis it so quiet?
Why is it so fuck?
Why can I hear my thoughts?
Exactly like something just alittle, filler a little, and
whatever it is should be like,separate from whatever the vibe
is outside.
Yes, you know.
So it functions.

(41:35):
The bathroom functions as anoasis.

Poch (41:38):
Now may I introduce the clincher Always, this is what
will seal the deal on my Yelpfive-star review.

And.

Poch (41:47):
I kind of want to open this up.
I don't want to poison the wellor prime the pump.
What have you After you'vewashed your hands?
How are you drying them?
Because you have.
There's the classics, there'sthe wavy, wavy.
Not a huge fan, no, no.

Matt (42:08):
Well, there was that study , done not long ago, of the
cleanest way to dry.

Poch (42:14):
What was it?

Matt (42:15):
Between the various machines and stuff and I believe
the air dry is the cleanest.

Poch (42:22):
The air dry Now, is that referring to the classic
straight down air dry or thedyson?

Matt (42:30):
no, no, not the dyson.
The dysons are the dirtiestyeah, okay so because it blows
all that shit on you.

Poch (42:36):
Yeah, it blows it all because, like I always remember,
like the first, like aftercovid, using those, I was like,
oh, I can't do this no more.
There's a pool of fetid fingywater that never drains.

Matt (42:47):
Here's how I exit every bathroom these days If it has a
paper towel.
That's key because I canactually get out of the room.
I will like I'm wiping thehands.
I'm wiping the hands with saidpaper towel.

Poch (43:04):
I'll get it behind that doorknob, open it, flick it into
the trash, walk out, havingnever come into direct contact
with the door yeah, that, thatif, if they give me a way to
never have to put my hands in,like if I can enter, do my
business and leave without myhands ever having to touch

(43:24):
anything other than my body ormy clothes.
That's the dream.
Ooh, that's premium.

I think the attendant somehow knows when
you're about to exit.

Matt (43:35):
Opens the door for you.
Yeah, excellent, excellent.
Here's something I would accept.
Attendant opens the door.
Attendant has a fresh towel, areal towel that he and he drives
his hand, drives my hands whilelooking meaningfully into my
eyes.
It's like a hot towel.
It is a hot towel and as soonas he's done, he deposits it

(43:58):
into a hamper of other towels.

Poch (44:00):
It's incredibly wasteful and he makes sure you see him
doing that.
So you know it's a one and doneeach towel.

Matt (44:07):
Yeah, and then I tip him and he gives me Ferrero Rocher
or something.

Poch (44:14):
You know some sort of, Some sort of An.

Matt (44:17):
Andy's mint.
Yes, an Andy's mint.

Poch (44:19):
A little treat, a little treat A.

Matt (44:21):
Halloween Junior mint box.
You know something classy.

Poch (44:25):
And like he holds out his hand and it just pops out of his
sleeve like he's a magician.

Matt (44:30):
Yeah it pops out and he goes yeah, gum you know,
whatever An Orbitz for thegentleman, no small talk.

Poch (44:39):
An Orbitz for the gentleman.
I love that he's slowlybecoming like the janky ass
vending machines you've seen inthe bathroom Prophylactic sir.

Matt (44:55):
Will the gentleman be needing protection this?

Poch (44:57):
evening.
Would sir like a small squeezebottle of warhead juice?

Matt (45:07):
And then the women's bathroom's right next door and
he pivots and says can Iinterest you in a sanitary
napkin for the lady?

Poch (45:15):
Wings or no wings For all the ladies out there, for all
the people who menstruate outthere.

Matt (45:26):
Oh man, uh.
What a hard job we've giventhis.
What a fine line that bathroomattendant has to ride for his
fucking life.

Poch (45:34):
Oh, he better be making fucking bank.
If anyone has to attend abathroom, I don't care if it's
at a fucking like sheets.
If your job is stand inbathroom and interact with
humanity, you better be makingfucking bank and it should go
without saying he's in a in ajacket with tails.
Yeah, like oh god dress to thenines got to there's no other

(45:57):
way to attend me, you like.
If you come there enough, youstart to get on a first name
base basis with him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, thomas yeah, I don't want him
to know my name.

Matt (46:08):
I know no no, he does not know my name, so he does not
know your name, or at least itisn't spoken.
He might, he might know yourname, but he'd never be so bold
he would never presume addressyou as such.

Poch (46:21):
Oh, no, no, no, that would be far too impertinent.

Matt (46:24):
Oh man.

Poch (46:26):
But again, he better be making bank, because I want to
interact with him that way.
But, like, in order for me tofeel good about that, like I'm
not a class trader, I need Ineed to know he's making a fuck
off amount of money doing thathow much per year?

How much per year ?
Oh, like 90 K, like men.

Matt (46:45):
Minimum Minimum per year should, oh, like 90k, like min,
minimum, minimum.
I want him, I want him to.
Before tips, before tips, lookat what he has to do.

Poch (46:52):
Yes, and here's the ideal tip system is once I get back to
my table or wherever it is I'mgoing.
It's once I've left thebathroom and we are no longer
interacting that it prompts mefor the tip.

Matt (47:05):
Because if I've had, because, like I, don't you need
to know his, you need to knowthe end service yeah, yeah, yeah
, yeah, yeah yeah suppose heforgets to give you your
listerine strip, which he neverwould, knowing for others, of
course not not, not bartholomewno, no, no, no, no, not tomas
not um, he would never and hedoes take card for tip.

He does take your card.

Matt (47:28):
You can Venmo him.
That comes out of the sleeve offucking Apple Pay.
Yeah, he just actually pullshis sleeve back.
He's got a QR code tattooed onhim.

Just scan this.
Please Just go ahead and scan.

Poch (47:42):
This QR code has been in my family for generations.

Matt (47:47):
Yes, from the Bitcoin days it's been.

Poch (47:54):
Yeah, so that's all I need .

Matt (47:56):
That is a five-star fucking bathroom right there.

That's a five-star bathroom, if ever I
experienced one.
I agree.

Matt (48:02):
Now, poach, what question would you like to take next?
We've got the five-star toiletcovered.
We have inconvenient superpower, the combined two Muppets, an
alter ego machine and the bestsandwich.
What was it Best sandwich?

If you had to legally marry a sandwich, what?

Poch (48:21):
type would be the best spouse All right.

Matt (48:27):
Eric, you got excited about this.

Poch (48:31):
Bro, I know off the fucking dome.
If I had to legally marry asandwich, this will be your
spouse.
The French dip.
The French dip.

Matt (48:42):
The French dip, because it's juicy Like a marriage, are
you planning on eating yourspouse?

Poch (48:47):
matthew, yes, okay, um, you don't stop.
Once you get married, youalways gotta eat okay, you gotta
become one, so yes, uh, butlike a french dip, much like a
marriage, is work.
Yes, like it.
It requires it.
It's.
It requires everyone going intoit to know what they're signing

(49:11):
up for.
You don't like willy-nillyorder a french dip.
You don't like get a french dipto go.

Matt (49:17):
I'm not like you know if I get a french, not unless you're
my mother-in-law.

Poch (49:20):
No, I'm your mother-in-law ordered a french dip to go.

Matt (49:24):
She loves any sandwich that features au jus.
Yes, correct.
If it needs to be delivered orwhatever, she'll do it.

Poch (49:34):
What a monster.
Oh, like, get it delivered toher house.

Matt (49:37):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Poch (49:37):
Oh, okay, I'm sitting here , imagining an insane fucking
person who gets oh, like walkingaway dip in hand Ate half of
the sandwich.

Matt (49:46):
Put the rest to go oh, no, no, no, no, no yeah we're
driving with a french dip.

Poch (49:51):
See, that's no she'd never do that.

Matt (49:53):
I'd say she'd order a french dip, that would be
delivered.

Poch (49:56):
I shoot 100 yeah so like that's what I'm getting at is
like yeah, yeah, you can't walkaway.

Matt (50:00):
You can't just fucking drive through a french dip.

Poch (50:02):
you can't just fucking drive through a French dip, you
can't.
Just, many of the time you haveto commit, you have to sit down
, look at yourself like, okay,am I ready to put work into this
experience?
Am I ready to sit down, grab myhunk of bread with some fine
ass no roasted beef and dip thatshit in some meat juice?

(50:25):
Because, like you, can't you,you gotta, you gotta commit.
And like the french dip, it's,it's, it's got history, sure
it's got.

Matt (50:35):
it's got it's got romance, sure it's it's got, I will say
there is something in thecontext of I'm marrying the
sandwich and you choosing a dipof any kind.

Poch (50:45):
There's something inherently and wrongfully sexual
about it yes, and like, I don'twant to be ashamed, like and
that's the other thing, when Iorder a french dip, I order my
french dip the way I marry myfucking wife shamelessly,
shameless.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
I look around as I am dunkingbecause, matt, I don't eric you

(51:10):
when you said dunking right now.

Matt (51:12):
I need the audience to know you just humped your desk I
need them to know that youpenetrated your workspace.

Poch (51:21):
When I dunk my fucking wife, I dare anyone in that
fucking restaurant to give meside alley.
I'm sorry, excuse me.
Excuse the fuck out of me.

Matt (51:35):
I'm enjoying a meal with my wife, sir, I again have to
ask you to put your pants backon.

Poch (51:42):
All right, that's on me.

You're meant to dip the sandwich, sir, Not your
just the sandwich, sir, not your.
Just the sandwich, sir, notyour.

Matt (51:53):
Matt, what would you call that body part?

Poch (52:00):
I believe it's called some sort of the young man statue,
roll the dick montage.
I would never say such agrotesque term.
Um, a french dip.
For me, like a marriage is, onthe surface, simple it's.
It's it's the joining of twopeople.
It's just, oh, it's just,baguette beef, some, some, some

(52:23):
swiss, yeah, and and.
But like to do it right takeswork, because I've had many
french dips and many marriagesand and like a marriage, you got
to come correct.
You have to come correct, orelse what the fuck?
Or else you just end up withfucking meat juice all over your
dick and you're like what am Idoing?

here.
One third of all French dipended in divorce.

Matt (52:45):
It's true.
It's true, it's a tragedy.
God, I want a French dip now.
It's an epidemic.

Poch (52:51):
Matt open the floor.
Gentlemen, what sandwiches areyou marrying?

Matt (52:57):
Okay, I would say the, and I do want to know yours, derek
King, of course.
Of course I would say the onlysandwich I could see myself with
for the rest of my life is myfavorite sandwich.
It is, and like a marriage, asEric said some things you left

(53:17):
out complexity.
You know there's contradictions, you know there's boundaries.
There's a conversation, anendless conversation, a dialogue
between the two parties, andthe sandwich that has all those
things swirling around on top ofit, inside of it, is the Reuben

(53:43):
.
The Reuben is a complex hotsandwich, hot sandwich, hot
sandwich, full of a variety offlavors, of textures.
There's juice coming out ofthat sauerkraut mixing with the
what?

Poch (54:01):
dressing gentlemen, thousand Island baby Russian.
Russian dressing.

Matt (54:06):
Russian Thousand Island in a fucking pinch.
But if you go to a restaurant,if you go to a restaurant.

Poch (54:13):
Is that like code for an affair?
You listen to me, Eric.

Matt (54:17):
Both my Erics, although one of them came correct.
If you are ordering a Reubenand that description says
Thousand Island dressing and notRussian dressing, it's not a
real Reuben.
Only one exception I'd makethat if they call it some sort
of house sauce, you can almostguarantee it's Thousand Island
dressing.
But on the off chance, ifyou're at a New York deli and it

(54:42):
says house dressing, I trustthat whatever they've put in
there is a custom thing fortheir Reuben.
It's not Thousand Island, it'snot Russian, it's somewhere in
between, and I'd order that in aheartbeat.
Also, it should be like freshfrom a delicatessen of some kind
, oh yeah.
That's the only place you get areal good Reuben.

Poch (55:03):
I love where your head's at on this, and I would also add
because get a real good Ruben.
I love where your head's at onthis, and I would also add
because I fucking love a Ruben.
A Ruben is about much like amarriage getting the balancing
so much, it is the ratio Likeratio of meat to sauerkraut.

Yes.

Poch (55:19):
Ratio of bread to sandwich .
There's so much, but it's worthit.

Matt (55:25):
It's worth it because when you get it perfectly correct,
there's so much, but like it'sworth it.
It's worth it because when youget it perfectly correct,
there's nothing better than aperfect.

There's nothing better what bread, what bread?

Poch (55:34):
oh baby, new york marble rye, the only option got it and,
and much like our views ofmarriage on this show, whether
it's a ruben or a Rachel,correct, we support you
Absolutely With this take from15 years ago.

Matt (55:51):
Well, done, eric.
Yeah, now, eric, Derrico, whatsandwich are you putting your?
I mean, what sandwich are youmarrying?

I'm thinking more when I think of a sandwich.
I'm marrying.
I'm thinking comfort, I'mcoming home.
Nice comfort food, a classicmaybe reminds you of the
happiness you had as a child.
Oh, I think I know where you'regoing.
Classic grilled cheese, my man.
Nice, simple white breadtoasted with butter cheddar

(56:20):
cheese in the middle.
You could come home to thatevery day.

Matt (56:23):
The sandwich I turn to at, say, 10 pm, when I have become
elevated to a different plane.

Yes, every time is good for grilled cheese.

Matt (56:32):
Every time is good for grilled cheese.
It's so easy to do.

Poch (56:36):
And much like a marriage.
You got to make it with love.
Got to make it with love Alwaystastes better.

Matt (56:42):
We've talked much more about grilled cheese on this
show over the course of itshistory.
Let me ask you from the yourgrilled cheese what kind of
cheese are you working?

with.
Walk me through it If I'm beingfancy.
I would like a cheddar cheese,ideally.

Matt (56:58):
On a fancy grilled cheese acceptable.

On a fancy.
If I'm going classic, I wantwhite American, not craft single
, not Kraft single.

Matt (57:08):
Not Kraft single.

Land of Lake.

Matt (57:13):
Oh, okay, nope, it's perfectly acceptable.

Poch (57:15):
I don't think I've had the Land of Lake cheese Wisconsin
style, wisconsin style yes.

You know, from my old days at the dairy farm.
Yes, okay.

Matt (57:27):
And so what kind of bread?

yeah, what bread we talking white bread I think,
it's traditional nice whitebread butter, not oh, it's gonna
say are you a butter?

Poch (57:36):
man or a mayo man, my butter man, mayonnaise in a
pinch but.

Matt (57:40):
But butter is correct I did the mayo not long ago simply
to try it, because I've alwaysbeen a butter man.

Poch (57:48):
It was fine can't find the butter man, now what?

let's move on I also go a little crazy and
within my butter on the outsideI sprinkle a little garlic
powder oh, my goodness, god, alittle garlic powder.

Matt (58:05):
Oh my goodness, garlic A little garlic powder on the
outside.
I need to try that.
I need to try sprinkling anyold thing really into the hot
crispifying butter.
That's the word.

Crispifying, you get a tiny bit of garlic bread
vibes.

Matt (58:20):
Ooh, I love that Just a touch.
I could see this is theMarylander in me.

Poch (58:24):
I could see a little bay on there, just a touch also you
got me curious about like nowI'm kind of tempted to make a
grilled cheese with Texas toastlike it'd be good it'd be good,
it had to be good.

Matt (58:37):
It's Texas toast you can't fuck that up.
You can't fuck that up.
You need a lot more cheese,though.
Gotta have more cheese.
That's a thick bread.

Poch (58:45):
You need the ratio ratios yeah, wow, I am so, though Gotta
have more cheese, becausethat's a thick bread.

Matt (58:47):
You need the ratio Ratios.
Yeah, wow, I am so fuckinghungry right now.
These sandwiches you've marriedare immaculate, gentlemen, we
have the best wives, we have thebest wives In real life.
Also, in case she ever listensto this In case also I mean mine
is frequently on the show tocorrect us, which, by the way,

(59:10):
she does have a correctioncorner ready to go.

Poch (59:12):
Oh, I'm sure she does, so we got to work that in an
upcoming episode, that's our.

Matt (59:17):
Reuben, that's my Reuben.
My Reuben's sitting out therewatching the Secret Lives of
Mormon Wives, or some such thing, right as we speak.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
I can, I can almost guaranteeit is in that family of show
that she is watching.
So great sandwiches, greatwives, best, best of wives.

(59:41):
And best of sandwiches Best ofwomen oh yes, yes, okay.
And best of sandwiches best ofwomen oh, yes, yes, uh, okay.
So, uh, I think we can get onemore good question before we
play this game.
Well, unless you want to ask aquestion of the dairy king?
Eric, I do have questions forthe dairy king um let's ask some
questions let me, let me, letme hit you with this unless

(01:00:03):
there was one more question youwanted to hit, I think we could
do one more, yeah are there.

Poch (01:00:07):
Are there any other like like truly?
Is there any like you're likegod?
We got to talk about this or Iwill not be able to.
How will I be able to look mygrilled cheese in the eye
tonight?

Matt (01:00:16):
I don't know, because I honestly feel like I don't have
the depth chart of the muppetsup in my brain enough to be able
to do a good pull, I'll flashanswer it.

Poch (01:00:26):
If I could combine two Muppets to make you Matt, it's
Statler and Waldorf.

Matt (01:00:30):
Fuck Eric, that's so good.

Poch (01:00:33):
It was like right.

Matt (01:00:34):
I mean, that is me, how do I?

Eric D'Errico (01:00:36):
I think, you have a touch of Kermit though.

Matt (01:00:39):
Oh you, eric, you have a touch of Kermit, you got a touch
of Kermit, you gotta touch akermit.
It ain't easy being green baby.
Eric and eric, have you seenthe university of maryland's
commencement speaker for 2025graduating class?
Of course I have, of courseeric, you are in this state and
you haven't seen the graduationspeaker of the university of
maryland no, I know that's thejim hens.

Poch (01:01:01):
I because I bet I've seen when they use the context clues
use the context clues use thosecontext clues, eric make the
connection, make that rainbowconnection.

Matt (01:01:12):
Yeah you're about to go watch this after we're done.
The commencement speaker forthe university of maryland 2025
oh, is it going to be?
Kermit the frog.
It was kermit the frog oh hegave the speech.

Poch (01:01:23):
I'm like my dumb ass is like.
Jim henson's been dead foryears.
How?

Matt (01:01:26):
no, it's kermit, it was.
Yeahermit gave the speech andit will make you cry.

Poch (01:01:32):
Oh, I even saw clips of this I think it will make you
teary.
Damn.
I was cheering for, likeSweetums, doing the commencement
speech.

Matt (01:01:42):
All right well, eric I love you guys.
Eric did take Statler andWaldorf from me, but I do feel
like they are my spirit muppetin a way.
But I do feel like they are myspirit Muppet in a way.
Yeah, are we expanding?
This is crucial.
Are we expanding?
Muppets out to?

Poch (01:01:59):
Sesame street.

Matt (01:02:00):
Yes, and the Fraggle verse .
Yes, If you need to, if youneed to what I would like to
suggest is that I would haveGonzo and Oscar.
The grouch is what comes tomind immediately For you, for me
, I don't see the Grouch.
I don't see the Grouch youdon't see the Grouch, the Grouch
with a heart of gold.
You got to spend more time withme, eric Derrico, see I.

I be Grouchy.
I sense Kermit for hisleadership, but also anxiety.

Matt (01:02:30):
Uh-huh, oh, I can get behind that.
I do see some of myself inKermit.

Poch (01:02:36):
A Kermit rising, to use Tarot terms.

Matt (01:02:39):
Perhaps I'll thread the needle between the two.
Get Rizzo involved.

Poch (01:02:44):
Oh, Rizzo the rat.

Matt (01:02:45):
Rizzo the rat.

Poch (01:02:47):
That's where the anxiety lives.

Matt (01:02:48):
That's where I'm thinking.

Poch (01:02:51):
My fellow Eric.
I will never other eric you.
Thank you, um, my fellow eric,I get you, and I swear to god
and christ in heaven above.
This has nothing to do withphysical traits bunsen honeydew,
I get, bunsen honey.
I get, like the, the, the, thelightness that the, like, the
excitedness of learning newthings I also was a science

(01:03:15):
major in college.

Oh, absolutely scant a learned man science and
theater.
Could you believe that I shouldhave been bill night?
Science and theater.
Science and theater.
My man, my man, um, yeah, I wasthinking that I got a little
fozzie bear, I think, in me, me.

Matt (01:03:31):
I do.
I do get a fozzy bear out ofyou, I guess.
One hundo, one hundo.

Poach, I think you have a little animal in you.

Matt (01:03:40):
Ooh Eric, I got to say, now that it's been spoken, I see
animal in you as well.

Just like the randomness, the yeah.

Poch (01:03:49):
I, I, I, I'll just take electric mayhem, I'll just there
you go, they're all they're allbouncing around in here.

Matt (01:03:56):
Now electric mayhem.
What kind of questions do youhave for our guest, that's you,
Eric Poach?

Poch (01:04:03):
Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes , thank so, my question for you
and we touched on this briefly,eric, in a world full of Eric's
like what have you, what havebeen your?
My question for you what havebeen your struggles being an
Eric Jesus?

My struggles have been based off of my last name
of Deerico, that is growing up.
Every kid comes up to you hey,what's your name?
Oh, eric, dear, did you know?
Your last name had your firstname in it.
Almost everyone I've met hassaid that in some way, shape or
form, and my answer to that issimple no shit, sherlock, yeah,

(01:04:43):
of course I know.

Matt (01:04:44):
I would think it's assumed , you know.

Poch (01:04:48):
Yeah, it's yeah.
What are your opinions on theother spellings?
This is a safe space.

They are low class trash.
My man Get that K out of here.
Yeah, get that CK out of herethe CKs.
That's the low of the low.

Matt (01:05:07):
I don't even get out of bed for a CK.
Of course not, and I agree withboth your hot takes about your
name and its spellings E-R-I-C-Hfor our friends across the pond
.
How do we feel?

Stay across the pond and it's fine.

Matt (01:05:22):
Come over to.

America, pick a side, pick a letter over here.
Yeah, erich.

Matt (01:05:29):
Threw the T into the bay along with some of those extra
letters.
Didn't work.
Didn't work.

Poch (01:05:35):
No, keep it simple, keep it sacred.
E-r-i-c.

That's the way.
This is the way.

Poch (01:05:42):
This is the way.
E, before I followed by R and C.
There you go.

What's my thoughts on Eric?

Poch (01:05:50):
Have you ever been other Eric?
Have I ever been other Eric?
Have I ever been other Eric?
I don't.
This is this is the secret fearthat we all live in, because
there's a couple of rules withus.
Like in any given environment,there are multiple Eric's.
Oh one of them is other Eric.

This might be the first time I'm with another C.

Matt (01:06:10):
Eric.
First time I'm with another c,eric.
I do think our generation cameup at a time when the, when the
k was a popular spelling,because I did know several erics
with a k in in like high schooland in, I'd say.
Nowadays I never encounter anold someone older than me named

(01:06:31):
eric with a k yeah, yeah, yeah,I will also see this.

Poch (01:06:35):
The the, though even uh, the exception of what we were
just talking about when, yearsago, I had a co-worker who was
also eric eric also had a lastname that started with p and
also had a middle name thatstarted with r, and we were cute
mates.

Matt (01:06:51):
Someone thought they were being cute I will say for the
record, my brother also ericyeah, I have encountered in the
wild.

Poch (01:07:02):
Get this shit a r y k no, yeah, nope, that's not
unacceptable they are a murdererand that is their like.
That's their burner name.

Matt (01:07:13):
If I said, if I saw that name, and I said how do you say
that?
And they said Eric, I'd say tryagain.

Poch (01:07:21):
Try again Now.
We're going to need to takethat one more time.

Matt (01:07:25):
I'm going to need to take it again from the top.

I'm getting like Aryan vibes from that.

Poch (01:07:30):
Yeah, I'm with.
I'm with Derry.

King.

Poch (01:07:34):
That is.
That name is nefarious.
This is also true of mostEric's I know due to the
aforementioned like.
There's usually like a gang ofus in any given work, school
setting.
Did you have you always gone byin like personal and do people
call you Eric?
Or do people ever call you byyour last, do they say?

Oh, in like personal, and do people call you
eric?
Or do people ever call you byyour last?
Do they say, oh, derrick goeshere.
Like all my theater friends,including our friends over at
epic culture, I was allthroughout college.

Matt (01:07:59):
Yeah, they have heard them call you dear.
It's why I'm poach.

I'm dearico for a lot I work.

Matt (01:08:05):
I'm eric college I'll say this about the poach thing poach
, yeah, it came so naturally.
Yeah, Like there are like Ifeel like when we met, oh hi,
I'm Matt Shea, Hi, I'm Ericpoach, and within I'd say that
first day I was calling youpoach.

Poch (01:08:25):
Yeah, yeah, it, it.
It was cause up in up untilcollege, most people called me
my first name.
As soon as I got to college,poach, and that wasn't like a
decision I made, just everyonestarted calling me.

Poach, it just happened.
Yeah, me too.

Matt (01:08:38):
And Eric, you and I, eric Poach, that is, you and I both
suffer from having atwo-syllable full name.
Yes, so I have long sinceaccepted.
There is a huge population ofpeople who refer to me
exclusively as matcha yes, sameuh.

Poch (01:08:57):
People either call me poach or they call me eric poach
.
If someone calls me eric, likemy fellow eric said, I'm either
at work or someone has died Icall you, eric, on the show from
time to time yeah, oh yeah I'dsay, I'd say it's like 80, 20
poached to eric it's also likeweirdly, like a how well you
know me thing.

(01:09:17):
Like I, I truly don't give afuck like people can call me
what I don't.
I truly do not have apreference, but I generally
notice the people I'm closestwith in my life.
Like alissa would never callsme poach, alissa calls me eric.
Sure, my parents call me eric,my brother calls me eric.
I would say I'd think it'd be alittle weird if alissa called
me poach.

Matt (01:09:30):
Alyssa calls me.

Poch (01:09:31):
Eric.
My parents call me Eric.
My brother calls me Eric.

Matt (01:09:33):
I would say I'd think it'd be a little weird if Alyssa
called you poach.
It'd be weird if my parentswere like hey, poach, yeah, even
weirder if it's your parents?

Poch (01:09:44):
Yes, but like most people, like my acquaintances, either
call me poach or Eric poach.

Matt (01:09:49):
Now, one thing I want to know before we get to this game,
which I think it is just abouttime for what is one thing,
Dairy King, that the listeners,because they have heard your
name spoken for literally?

years yes.

Matt (01:10:06):
Per near half a decade at this point, if you can believe,
and what is one thing aboutDairy King 11 that you need our
listeners to know?

It's all about the bit.
I love the bit, similar to youguys, so if there's a bit to be
given or taken, I will be there.
I love to joke around, live anddie by the bit I love to have.
Wasn't that one of the newgolden rule, I believe?
Going back, episodes commit tothe bit um, all about the temper

(01:10:38):
tyrannous all about having fun,um in it to win it.

Matt (01:10:42):
Life's not that serious, don't take things seriously fuck
, yeah, man that's great andthat's why I feel like I love to
to upvote and probably cannever bring myself to mentally
accept in real life.

Poch (01:10:55):
Yeah, I think it's why your questions always fucking
rule is because you've alwaysbrought that energy to the
question.
It's always something fun.
Every time I read your questionI'm like yes, yes yes, and when
there's a lull.
Fertile ground.

Matt (01:11:13):
I do have to say that sometimes there will be a lull
where we don't get a questionfrom derrick king 11 for like a
couple months or something, andwhen you come back into the fold
, it's, it's always.
This is how I know yourquestions always come from like
a genuine place and you don'tjust send us any old thing that
comes to your mind, because you,you, you must filter, because
sometimes there will be a gapand you'll come back and I'll be

(01:11:34):
like god damn, we're slottingit in next episode.

Yeah yeah, there's no.
There's no room for the b plusquestion, all questions not now,
not 119 episodes, in no way noum, also for the uh the viewer,
it might be nice to have thatspreadsheet that we can see all
the other questions I've everbeen asked.
That is yes.

Matt (01:11:55):
Well, it's funny that you should say that we are working
on a.
If you go to our website now,you'll see that it says it's
under construction and I amworking on that.
I would say bless you forsaying we.

Poch (01:12:08):
Bless you for saying we.

Matt (01:12:10):
I am working on that.
Bless you for saying we, I amworking on that, I am also.
Before we got to that which wehad to do for the shop, um, I
was already in the progressprocess of working on my website
, uh, and redoing mine, and sothis, this is a little bit of
put your own mask on before youput your child's mask on yes, oh
, that is words I've honestlylived by like a lot in recent

(01:12:33):
years is make sure your ownoxygen mask is secure before you
could try to help anyone elsewith theirs.
Yeah, we are.
So I'm trying, I'm finishing upmy now we're going to get the
site up and running, and part ofthat is you heard it here.
First, I do want to include adirectory of questions that we
have done.

We got the scoop.
We got the inside scoop.

Matt (01:12:55):
Just to prove that this spreadsheet does exist.
I am looking up right now thefirst time Dairy King 11
submitted a question.
Oh, the first time I have downthat we heard from Dairy King 11
.
It was our 70th questionoverall and it was in episode 23

(01:13:17):
.
Oh my goodness, it was.
Why does Baltic Avenue get sucha bad rap?
That would be from our Monopolyepisode.

That's a great question, good job.

Poch (01:13:31):
That's such a good question that's.

Matt (01:13:35):
That's a great question.
Good job, such a good question.
That is, that is the first time, derry king 11 appears on the
spreadsheet of questions.

Poch (01:13:39):
A lot of your questions invite us to re-examine things
that we've been looking at ourentire lives, which is kind of
like the vibe that this showsits in most of the time is like
that is peak, you daft vibe.

You just got to think of things that you
wouldn't ask for.

Poch (01:13:58):
Oh, my God.
He said it.
He said it, he gets us.

Matt (01:14:04):
And to prove that he gets us.
I want to know.
I can't wait anymore.
I have to know what thismystery game is yes.

Let's get to the game.

Matt (01:14:12):
Let's get to the game.
So let's get to the game, baby.

Similar to games that you guys have done to each
other, where we have a list andyou have to pick.
Is it blank or is it a blank?
Love it.
You've done it before.
You did it with, like Tolkienor something else, right?
Yeah, I have a list of 11 newsheadlines and I would like to
know is the headline did ithappen in Florida or did it

(01:14:37):
happen anywhere else in theworld?
I have named this Florida manor Regular Dan.

Matt (01:14:51):
Nice Love it, florida man.
Or Regular Dan Trad Nice Loveit, florida man or regular.
Dan Trademark TM.
All rights reserved.

Poch (01:14:57):
God damn, that's good.

These are real headlines, not made up Sure, of
course.
I also have a you know thelittle one paragraph through
line, if you require moreinformation.

Matt (01:15:09):
Okay, okay.
If more context is needed, sothe first one Okay, okay, if, if
more context is needed.

So the first one yeah, man has hours long junk
food feast inside a closedWalgreens.

Matt (01:15:22):
Okay, um, oh man, when you , when you introduce the idea
that it could be Florida.
Hearing something like that ishard to picture anywhere else.
But I'm going to say you'restarting us off with a softball.

Poch (01:15:38):
That is where mine is, that is Florida, florida, man.
So my mind actually went theopposite.
I said it's too perfect.
I'm going to say regular Dan.

Matt (01:15:48):
Good, one of us immediately will take the lead.
I like this.

It did happen in Florida, yeah, baby.
So after being in the restroomfor five hours, the police say
the man began roaming around thestore treating himself to
Tostitos, spinach dip, reese'schocolate, ghirardelli chocolate
bars and a Dr Pepper.

Poch (01:16:07):
And a Dr Pepper.

Matt (01:16:09):
Amazing, and that man is now a state representative.

So we have a 1 Pepper Amazing and that man is
now a state representative.

Matt (01:16:16):
So we have one.
Nothing, matt, yeah, get usedto it.

Number two man saves his neighbor from the jaws
of an 11-foot alligator byhitting it with its car.

Poch (01:16:27):

Matt (01:16:29):
I'm going to say regular Dan as well.
It feels too precise.

Poch (01:16:34):
Because it involves saving someone.

Unfortunately, that means you both are wrong.
This happened in Florida again.

Matt (01:16:41):
Okay, Damn it Sometimes, when it seems like a sure thing,
it is.

All right.
Number three Neighborhood onedge after rage-filled feral
duck attacks.
Elderly resident.

Poch (01:16:58):
Oh, it's got all the Florida elements.
It does have.

Matt (01:17:01):
It has all the right check boxes to have taken place in.

Florida.
While you're thinking, I amgoing to give you the exact
quote from the victim, if youdon't mind.

Matt (01:17:08):
Please, yes, please, thank you yes.

I sit on my porch from 7 to 7 30 at this time
every day to catch a sunset.
You know, I had my eyes closed.
All of a sudden I felt a jab onmy hand and it was bleeding.
The man showed off his bandedhand to the news outlet.
He also allowed fox news tofilm inside his home, where the
outlet captured footage of theduck threatening lurking outside

(01:17:34):
his door.

Matt (01:17:36):
I mean, it's hard to not say Florida.
Man, I gotta be honest with you.

Poch (01:17:41):

Matt (01:17:43):
I'll go with Florida man.

It did happen in Florida.
Son of a bitch, come on Methducks.
Florida, I mean it.
It was too good to not be forit.
So you're Son of a bitch, comeon Meth ducks.

Matt (01:17:52):
Florida.
I mean, it was too good to notbe Florida.
So you're two up now.
I'm two up now.
Son of a bitch, you haven'tgotten anything right, I haven't
gotten yeah, number four.

Most of 15 million bees have been contained
after truck crashes.

Matt (01:18:09):
Oh wait, I remember this.

Poch (01:18:11):
I'm going to say regular Dan Bees, don't go to Florida.

Matt (01:18:14):
I do think it's regular, dan.
I do remember this happening.
I don't think it happened inFlorida.

You are both correct.
This happened in Maine, we'reon the board.

Poch (01:18:21):
We're on the board Number five.

Matt (01:18:25):
Who's the we?
Just you, yourself and you.

I am on the board okay, number five fake cop
pulls over real cop on highwaygets arrested florida, oh yeah
I'm coming out strong withflorida that is florida, you
were both that required nodebate, yeah person dressed in

(01:18:50):
bear costume used to fakeattacks on cars for insurance
payout.

Matt (01:18:55):
Regular Dan, regular Dan.
No way that's happening inFlorida.

You're correct, that was California.

Matt (01:19:00):
Yeah, it's right there on the flag.

It's true.
Police charge woman with a totebag with the inscription
definitely not a bag of drugsfor trafficking, meth inside the
bag.

Matt (01:19:14):
Ooh, Florida, Florida man.

Florida woman.
Ah, ah, very good.
So we got 6-4 meth.

Matt (01:19:27):
It is heating up.

Robot chicken fights now legal in blank state.

Poch (01:19:33):
Regular Dan.

So the state just greenlit a bill that adds a
twist to its currentcockfighting laws by allowing
live rooster to fight robots, aslong as the birds don't get
hurt.

Poch (01:19:49):
That's where they draw the line.
Don't want the robots hurtingthe bird.

Matt (01:19:52):
Just other birds.
Eric said regular dan, I'mgonna say florida man it has
happened in oklahoma.

Closing in with three to go, dope number nine
man arrested for throwing livealligator through a Wendy's
drive-thru window.

Poch (01:20:13):
That's got like.
I mean it's got to be.
This is where I'm torn.

If it matters, it was a 3.5 foot alligator.

Matt (01:20:23):
Oh, that could be any old state.
I'm going to say regular Dantoo.
I'm getting a red herring vibe.

And it has to do with alligators.
But you're both wrong.
This happened in Florida.

Poch (01:20:38):
Son of a.
This is good.
This is truly difficult.

Matt (01:20:41):
This is solid material.
Two to go.

Number 10.
A helicopter reporter goes onbizarre rant about marriage
issues, divorce and love ofwhiskey during a live broadcast.

Poch (01:20:56):

Matt (01:20:59):
I was also leaning regular , dan, but now you're copying me
Well you're so smart, are youplaying me or are you playing
Florida, or am I playing thecurrent standings?

It happened in California.

Matt (01:21:15):
Yeah, buddy All right Last one.

Matt is up by one , so you could tie it.

Matt (01:21:23):
You could tie it, Eric.

A second alligator rescued from home,
found inside drug raid.
So I'll give you the throughline of that one.
The SWAT team has found aneight foot long alligator in the
basement during a drug raid,six months after they found a
two foot long baby gator in thesame house.

Matt (01:21:46):
I mean it's got to be Florida, right.
But at the same time, you knowwhat I don't want to be accused
of just picking the same thingEric does.

Poch (01:21:55):
I was going to say regular Danbecause it could be Louisiana.

Matt (01:21:59):
But I said it first.

Poch (01:22:00):
Yeah, so I can't be accused of copying.
I gave my justification.

Matt (01:22:04):
Okay, you want my justification, I'll give you my
justification.
All the other Gator ones wasFlorida and he was setting us up
for the finale, which is notFlorida Would be good.

Now poach.
Do you want to stick on that ordo you want the chance to tie
it and go Florida man?

Matt (01:22:19):
Fuck Cause, if you stick with regular Dan, I win.
Win or lose, right or wrong.

Poch (01:22:26):
Fuck it, I'll Florida man, one of those guys have gotten
this correct.

Obviously, this happened.

Poch (01:22:33):
One of you have gotten this correct obviously this
happened in the great city ofDetroit, detroit, michigan.
Baby, there's.

Matt (01:22:44):
Detroit Gators.
Detroit Gators Crawling out ofLake Michigan.

Poch (01:22:47):
Wherever it is, that's most.
That's a good game.
That's a good game.

Matt (01:22:50):
That's a good game, eric Derrico.
Oh, and you've been a goodguest too, my friend.
Thank you.

Thank you, it's been a pleasure Been a pleasure.

Matt (01:22:59):
The first guest to bring us a game.
I do believe, Eric.
Yes, that was a delight.
You have been a delight notonly today, but every single
episode that features one ofyour questions and, of course,
you're a pillar of our Discordcommunity.

Yes, I know you say this when you do the
business, but join the Discordguys.
It's only a dollar.
You could afford a dollar.
It's only a dollar.
It's nothing.
It's $12 a year.
That's what A sandwich, Onesandwich.

Poch (01:23:30):
That is like one combo from Wendy.

Can't even get a good Reuben for that price, but
you have so much fun, you haveso much entertainment, you get
to hang out with us giants.

Matt (01:23:38):
You get memes.
You get every now and then ZachDues will put your face on
something.

It's great Every once in a while.

Matt (01:23:46):
When the mood strikes.

And just for pennies more a day you could
join and hear a bonus episodewhich is called Noobs.

Poch (01:23:58):
All Tangents.

Matt (01:23:59):
He's doing the business.

Eric, and that's a delightful half hour show once
a month that you get just as abonus smile.
So you know, if you guys justdo me a favor and throw them
your money, Eric to Erica.

Poch (01:24:14):
I'm speechless.
You truly bring thecrystallization of everything we
want from a guest which is likeso much less effort on our part
.

Matt (01:24:23):
Providing literally every aspect of the show.

However, there is a 30% chance, no one will hear
this episode.

Matt (01:24:33):
There is a non-zero chance that this is all for naught.

But we're hoping you heard that, we're hoping.
Thank you guys so much.

Matt (01:24:41):
Oh, thank you for first of all agreeing to do the show.
It has been a true delight.
If you want to be as cool asEric Derrico and submit
questions to us, you can do thatat youdidntaskforthis at
gmailcom that's all spelled outor on the various socials at
youdidntaskpod.
That's the letter you didn'task.
Pod on Instagram mainly, butalso Facebook and TikTok and

(01:25:05):
Blue Sky and et cetera, etcetera.

And you didn't ask.
But no, just kidding.

Poch (01:25:13):
Oh.
I don't mean sassy from from Ican't do that.

Matt (01:25:17):
I'm so sorry.
Anyway, listen, you didn't ask.
Oh, wait a minute, hold on.
Yeah, you've thrown off my forall of us here.
You didn't ask for this.

My name is matt shea, my name is eric poach and
I'm eric dierico, the dairy kingthat's right.

Poch (01:25:37):
And listen, you didn't ask .
But in the words of florida mangator, don't just eat your body
, nah, sir gator, eat your soul.
Where is this quote coming from?
It's something me and my friendtyler have been saying to each
other since high school.
Of course it is I thought youwere on your body gate each so I

(01:25:57):
thought you were onfloridaproverbscom I did once
not florida, but I looked up.
I found a video of like.
It's like a 20 minute longvideo of appalachian myths and
sayings and it's like one verylike like butter, like buttery
smooth Appalachian and accentdude who's just like giving all

(01:26:18):
of these old, like superstitionsand stuff.
90% of them end with the sameway where it's like remember, if
you sweep your back porchbefore you sweep your front
porch, you will die.
Like that, like they most sweepyour front porch, you will die.
Like most of them end with youwill die.
If you look a chicken in itseye, you will die.

If you don't join the discord, you will die.
You will die.

Matt (01:26:47):
I like this.
We had a nice succinct play outand then instead we changed it
to threatening the audience.
I like that.
You will die.
You will die.

All Episodes

119 | The Eric Ultimatum

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}119 | The Eric Ultimatum