124 | Felonious Gulls

How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you got suspicious someone was putting them there? We dive into this question sourced from a TikTok comment section before tackling: If Boy Scouts had cookies, what would their names be? Finally, Eric wraps things up with a Burning Man Pop Quiz for Matt.

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Episode Transcript

Eric (00:00):
You want to hear some dumb shit, eric?
Yes, so there I am.
It is like 10 o'clock at night.
I am in my cups.
Yes, yes, that goes withoutsaying Eric Wink.
It goes without saying, and oneof the things that I most
treasure and value about mypartner.

Matt (00:24):
Talk about me oh oh, sorry .

Eric (00:26):
Uh, one of the things that most treasure about Alyssa is
that she will, she will and Iknow this is coming from me come
out of left field with somewild ass questions.

Matt (00:39):
Eric to be a fly on the wall in this house.

Eric (00:41):
continue, dog we're we're sitting there and Alyssa we're
talking about movies, and at onepoint we're talking about, like
2001, a Space Odyssey orsomething like that.
And Alyssa just asked what isStanley Kubrick sound like?
Okay, so I realized in thatmoment I didn't know what

(01:04):
Stanley, what stanley soundslike.
I've never heard him speak, soI just so.
This matt I now present to youis my rendition of stanley
kubrick, have you?

Matt (01:13):
looked.
Is this based on?
Just?
Have you done any research intowhat stanley kubrick sounds
like?
You are just guessing uh, yeah,I, I.

Eric (01:21):
I just I just kind of swung for the fences, perfect
perfect I, I just want to knowwhat to anticipate and I'm going
to set the scene.
Here you are watching 2001, aspace odyssey, with the director

(01:43):
commentary turned on 2001, aSpace Odyssey.
Hi, I'm Stanley Kubrick.
I'm just pleased as punch thatyou're watching my movie.

Stanley Kubrick (01:53):
Why don't y'all come on down, sit down, watch a
movie?

Eric (01:56):
with me Now.
See something you ought to knowabout the start of this here
film.
Originally I just wanted thefilm to be about the monkeys.
The start of this here film.
Originally I just wanted thefilm to be about the monkeys,
but then they told me that thismovie gotta be three hours long.
So then I was like, well, wegotta think of something.
We just can't have the littlemonkeys run.
And did you know?

(02:17):
Did you know?
They ain't real monkeys.

Stanley Kubrick (02:21):
No them's my friends.

Eric (02:23):
They just running around in their little monkey suits
having a ball.
I proceeded to riff like thatfor like an hour and a half
jesus christ, jesus christ, how?

Matt (02:42):
please tell me that was no one in the room's first viewing
of 2001.

Eric (02:46):
No, no, no, no, no, goodness, no Jeez Okay.

Matt (02:53):
Obviously that was impactful.

Eric (02:56):
Oh, thank you, thank you.

Matt (02:58):
I am not going to.
I thought briefly aboutintroducing to you what Stanley
Kubrick sounds like, but no.

Stanley Kubrick (03:06):
Don't spoil it.

Matt (03:08):
Why spoil it?
And also I love that you alsochanged his famously bristly
personality.

Eric (03:16):
Oh yeah, yeah, Because by every indication apparently
Stanley Kubrick's a massive dick.

Matt (03:23):
He's a genius.
He is obviously a genius, atrailblazer and, I think, one of
the most problematic assholesin cinematic history.

Eric (03:33):
So I feel like what I bring to the character is like a
fresh take.
Oh hey, amelia, sorry, justquick cameo by my cat walking
across my desk.
That's Amelia Bedelia.
She's my perfect littleprincess.
But back to Stanley Kubrick,yeah, and like I just sort of
kind of started weaving At acertain point, I wasn't even
talking about 2001, a SpaceOdyssey anymore.

(03:55):
I was just like out there like,oh yeah, I remember on the set
of the Moonland, I mean theShining, that Jack Nicholson, I,
I tell you, he's just sotalented, he was so talented.
And that shelly duvall, whenshe would have one of her little
moments, I'd be like shelly,what is you doing?

Stanley Kubrick (04:14):
now stanley, I have it on good authority that
you somewhat lightly torturedshelly duvall on the set of that
, isn't that?
Isn't that?
Is that right, or is thathearsay?
Shelley Duvall on the set ofthat Isn't that right, or is?

Eric (04:26):
that hearsay.
Now Neil Armstrong and I sorryme and Shelley Duvall, we were
butt heads every now and again,but I think that just come down
to good, old-fashioned autisticdifferences.

Stanley Kubrick (04:39):
Sorry, did you say autistic differences?
I said what I said.
It sounded like you saidautistic differences.
Say what I said it sounded likeyou said, autistic differences.

Eric (04:49):
I would, I would really appreciate it.
Sorry, are you the directorcommentarian?
I like that he's gettinginterviewed, but I like that
like someone's just coming inwith like hard, hard-hitting
questions for stanley kubrick inthe middle of this director's
commentary.
I kind of I kind of stanleythis is an intervention.
This is an intervention and youknow it's the and, mind you,
this is still during the 2001 ASpace Odyssey.

(05:10):
You know it's the funniestthing.
I just had the greatest timedoing the clockwork orange.
But I remember I sat down there, anthony Burgess, and I said,
anthony, now I ain't seen we'vebeen on set here with the lovely
Malcolm McDowell for goodnessknows how many I ain't seen a
single orange.

(05:31):
Jesus, I love the way hetalking.
That funny little accent.
Funny, that funny little accent.

Matt (05:46):
Funny that funny little accent.

Eric (05:49):
You say that funny little accent.
I don't even know what he'ssaying half the time I just say,
honey, the camera is a rolling.

Matt (06:11):
Well, hello everybody and welcome to you.
Didn't Ask For this.
It is the podcast that answerslife's least pressing questions,
and I fell into the voices wewere just doing a moment prior.
My name's Matthew Shea and I'mStanley.

Eric (06:22):
Kubrick no, you're not.
Oh sorry, sorry, it's like Iwas.
Oh sorry, sorry, it's like Iwas.
Dude.
I, christian, bailed it alittle too hard there for a sec.
I got a little too deep into it.
I'm Eric Poach, thank you.
Thank you, eric.

Matt (06:33):
Poach, how are you?
Oh, sweaty, God it is sofucking hot in this room.
I do not know if we're gonnause footage from this, but you
are in a, a black tank, yeahrocking the tank just rocking
these, these, I don't know what.
My clavicle just out guns out,clavicle out just fucking raging

(06:55):
, just dripping that clavicleall over the camera for free for
me free, you know for now thiscould.
If we do use any of thisfootage on on the tiktok, I
might have to put it behind thepicture on paywall.
This they should be so lucky,they should be so lucky.
But you know what?

(07:16):
I think that's great and I alsothink you should, uh, at some
point look up just a casualinterview with stanley cooper um
, oh yeah, I can't wait, just tosee what you've done to the man
.

Eric (07:28):
I don't know anything about how he sounds beyond.
I know I am wildly off base.

Matt (07:34):
You are definitely wildly off base, but I want you to
discover that personally.
So, eric, I think we got a lotto get to.
We got some questions here andthen I heard on a rumor mill on
a forum, on an internet forum,yeah, on a sub stack, on a sub

(07:54):
stack of internet podcast rumortheories, uh-huh, that you have
a pop quiz for me.

Eric (08:02):
Well, who can say?
I guess we'll find out when weget there.

Matt (08:05):
Who can say indeed, it has a lot to live up to in the
shadow of Chestnut or Chestnut.

Eric (08:13):
God Chestnut or Chestnut was so good.
I remain very pleased.

Matt (08:18):
Shout out episode 123.
Nope 122.
I remain very pleased as punchyou should.

Eric (08:29):
Man, that one, and there's more records.
We can do a part two.
Yeah, we need a fridge so thatcan go up on it.

Matt (08:34):
All right, should we get to some questions then, eric,
and get this train out thestation, my man let's fucking go
.
Okay, the first question thatwe have today and we actually
have a couple in the quiver thatI pulled, full disclosure.
There was a TikTok video wheresomebody was like give me your
most unhinged first datequestions and a lot of them were

(08:58):
very like date-based right,like making fun of the man and
things like that.
Yeah, I mean the man making funof men, man and things like that
.
Yeah, I mean the man.
The making fun of men is whatI'm trying to say yeah, as you
should as we all should, as weall have a moral obligation to
do so.

Eric (09:15):
I picked.

Matt (09:16):
I picked some out and just to reiterate how hot eric must
be he is.
He is dabbing his forehead offlike he is a sinner and church
with a toilet paper so this iswhen I was.

Eric (09:33):
I was sick recently, and and when I'm, when I'm sick, I I
don't do box of tissues, I justkeep do roll it I keep a roll
of A.
If it's going on my butt it isangel soft.

Matt (09:45):
It's good enough for my face yes.
Yes, true, come on, you use anew roll of toilet paper, right?

Eric (09:51):
Oh yeah, I just grab a.

Matt (09:52):
Oh my God, matt, just checking, just checking, I'm
just checking.

Eric (09:55):
I'm not grabbing one that's been exposed to the
bathroom elements.

Matt (09:59):
No no, it has to have been in quarantine.

Eric (10:08):
I've seen far too many videos of the exact particle
trajectory of your toilet everytime you flush it, so I seal
everything.

Matt (10:12):
The point is I pulled a bunch of questions from the
comment section on a TikTokvideo.
This is where we are.
There was a lot that werebangers.
I did not pull everybody's userhandle that were bangers.
I did not pull everybody's userhandle.
I trust that you won't, I guesssue me for taking your comment.
Anyway.
Long Dong Silver asks.

(10:33):
Long Dong Silver 69 asks howmany seagulls would you have to
find in your house before yougot suspicious?
Someone was putting them there.
Now, eric, can you see why Ipulled this for you, daft?
that is, that is folks, this is,this is a you daft renaissance

(10:54):
question.

Eric (10:55):
This is, this is right in our wheelhouse, I feel this yeah
, this is this is the the wehaven't gotten questions like
this recently and this is mycall to action to bring them
back.
Yes, admonish them more, thankyou.

Matt (11:12):
Thank you for your support .
Eric, Eric, let's talk seagulls.

Eric (11:16):
So how many before?
And specifically it's like howmany before?
I suspect that someone'splacing them in my house.
Yes, it does say before you gotsuspicious.
It doesn't even state outrightthat like oh, theoretically,
someone's putting seagulls inyour house, how many before you
realize they're doing it?
It's how many seagulls beforethe idea enters your mind that

(11:40):
is someone putting?

Matt (11:42):
them in my house, right, that is someone putting them in
my house, right?
How many before it could occurto you?
Is someone out to get me?
Yeah, yeah, that's what we'reafter.
Is this nefarious?
Is this premeditated?
Are these nefarious seagulls?

Eric (11:58):
Are these felonious gulls?
Felonious gull is my dj name.
Is it on sound on soundcloud?

Matt (12:09):
felonious gulls, yeah, maybe let that one cook for a
little bit longer.

Eric (12:13):
So one gull appears in your home, amelia father amelia
father is recording content forstrangers on the internet,
sweetie.

Stanley Kubrick (12:22):
If that can't finish, what the fuck up Meow?

Matt (12:27):
It's okay, Sorry she knew we were talking about birds.
Okay, eric, picture the sceneI'm picturing.
You're there, you're doingcommentary on 2001 in a silly
voice, yes, and you look overand who's sitting there?
But Jonathan Livingston Siegel.
Oh, deep cut.
He's sitting right there withhis thoughts on life.

(12:51):
Bro, you're hitting me with thegod bird, the god bird of
Jonathan Livingston Siegel.

Stanley Kubrick (12:56):
The point is, there's a seagull.

Matt (12:58):
There's a gull.

Stanley Kubrick (13:00):
There's a gull.

Matt (13:01):
A seabird has come into your home A seabird.

Eric (13:04):
So at one goal.

Matt (13:05):
And you can't kill it because, as we all know, bad
luck to kill a seabird, bad luckto kill a seabird.

Eric (13:12):
So, and I will say this, because I was recently, up until
recently I was living inDundalk and because we are so
close to like, there's a bunchof ports around Dundalk.
It's not uncommon to haveseagulls kind of like in the
general area, not at all.
So at one gull, nothing,nothing seems a mess, I would be

(13:35):
sure, shocked and alarmed evenhere, like I am not not close to
seagull territory really whereI'm at.
Yeah.

Matt (13:44):
But if a seagull were to enter my home, my first thought
would be one.
There must be a window opensomewhere.
Yes, and two of all the birds.
I wouldn't have expected aseagull.

Eric (13:59):
No Would expect a morning dove Sure, they're all over the
goddamn place.
Yeah, would expect a ra doveSure, they're all over the
goddamn place.
Yeah, would expect a raven acrow.

Matt (14:10):
I've got so many a goddamn sparrow in my yard digging
holes, Mayhap a thrush but not aseagull, so I would be shocked.

Eric (14:19):
I have had in my old place in Dundalk.
I can't remember if I talkedabout this on the show.

Matt (14:24):
Yes, you made an alliance with the birds.

Eric (14:27):
Oh, no, no, no, no.
That was my alliance with thecrows.
That was a separategeopolitical scheme in Dundalk?
I see no one day I just had abat appear in my like, like, but
like.
All it was the same deal.
All the windows were closed.
I was like how the fuck did youget in?
But also, my house at the timewas like a hundred and some odd

(14:48):
years old, so myriad ways.
Um, that probably lives there.

Matt (14:54):
That bat was probably born there don't know the last time
you checked the rafters, oh so Inever have no, why would you
never been up there?

Eric (15:04):
it had an attic.
I've never had any reason to goup there we have an attic too,
and I am pretty confident thatat least one animal uh winters
in it oh yeah, I'm sort of likeyou know what, as long as you
don't come down here, we can be,we can cohabitate I had a
family of, of of squirrelsliving in my goddamn ceiling,

(15:25):
because my neighbor, you know,because we were in a townhouse
yeah and my neighbor's house hadit all.
My neighbor who would routinelybitch about how disrespectful
of a neighbor I was by parkinganywhere remotely near her house
.

Matt (15:41):
Yes, I think you might have mentioned that.

Eric (15:43):
Had a gaping fucking hole in her roof and still does that.
The squirrels would comethrough and then they would live
.
They wouldn't live in herceilings because she was a chain
smoker so they didn't like theair quality.
Yeah, they wanted out, so theycame on over to Cassidy Poach,
where the ceilings were onlymostly leaky, instead of having

(16:04):
a giant fucking gaping hole inthem.
Anyway, one goal, I'm not, I'mconcerned, but I'm nothing afoot
.
Two goals, my brain is saying,ok, well, you know that at two
goals, my brain is writing astory for these goals.

Matt (16:20):
Yes, they're in love.
They're in love, run away, theyran away together.

Eric (16:23):
For're in love, they run away.
They ran away together.
Forbidden love for some reason.
I don't know.
I don't pretend to know seagullgoings-ons and intrigues, but I
know they happen.
Seagull lore See, other thanthey're seabird, like they gotta
have so much intrigue.

Matt (16:38):
I agree, I was at the beach recently.
It always strikes me, you know,between looking at the corpse
being taken away and, you know,everything else happening around
me.
There are, of course, seagullsthere, and what I always think
is interesting is you can see aseagull like stalk you.

Eric (17:01):
Oh yeah, like where they're just following you on
their little feet.

Matt (17:05):
Well, yeah, and we were having lunch or whatever, and so
we, you know, as I said, we gotthe canopy, so we set up
towards the back, you know wherethe close to the like the, the
dune fence, you know to keep, tokeep off the dune.

Eric (17:16):
You know, you know what I'm saying.

Matt (17:17):
Yeah, yeah, the the, the shield wall of the beach, uh
good, good, good reference.

Eric (17:24):
Thank you Because, as soon , as you said, dune fence.
I just like there's someonestanding on the other side of it
, just like.

Matt (17:31):
I heard you trying to make a dune reference and I said I'm
going to beat him to it.

Eric (17:36):
You saw it passing I was like oh, how can I work, Lisa?
Not glad you've been there?

Matt (17:41):
Yes, is like oh, how can I work, lisa?
Not glad you've been there?
Yes, so there, on one of theseposts, appears a seagull who's
just dead eyeing us like I'llwait, I'll wait.
What are you gonna do?
Shoo me away, I'm just gonnafly to that fly right, fucking
back dog I'm gonna fly rightover there.
You can't get rid of me and Iknow that.
So I'm not gonna try to get ridof this seabird, but

(18:03):
nevertheless I'm saying they'reaudacious little fuckers.
Oh yeah, they, they.
They've seen some shit.

Eric (18:10):
They've seen some shit.
They're swarm animals like.
Anytime food is available, itimmediately become.
There's no pecking order, it'sjust who got there first pecking
order.
So like they're savages.
I say that respectfullyScavengers, savage scavengers.
Savage scavengers just like thetwo of us Scavengers.

Stanley Kubrick (18:31):
Just like the two of us.

Eric (18:33):
Rough and tumble, men of the sea.

Matt (18:35):
Picking out questions from comment sections left and right
.

Eric (18:39):
Someone posts a TikTok, there we are.

Matt (18:43):
You can't keep our content from us public.
No, no, no, no.

Eric (18:48):
There is no length to which we will not go to not do
work, we will find it and wewill use it.

Matt (18:56):
So two seagulls.

Eric (18:58):
No, yeah, that's a love story.
That's a love story Three, lovetriangle Three.
I honestly think I still wouldnot suspect someone is putting
them into my house At threeseagulls.
Though now my brain is going.
My brain has clicked over tookay.
Something is seriously wrong.
Some safeguard has failed.

(19:19):
It's one of those points where,like I have to and this is
where I am in my, my thirties mybrain stops and I go okay,
clearly there is some societalsafeguard that I have been
taking for granted my entirelife, and that safeguard has

(19:39):
fallen.
And now I have seen it's likeone of those comments like oh,
did you know the like the leveesbroke and yeah, yeah.
I was like you don't thinkabout the levees till they break
.
So I'm like, oh, my, oh, my god, what, what, what's going on
the seagull levees?

Matt (19:57):
the seagull levees yeah, I think I.
I still don't think that I'mlike I'm the victim of a prank
or somebody is doing something.
At three, I think at three I'mgoing.
This is not an anomaly.
We have a serious issue.
There is a group of seagullsoutside and they're coming in

(20:17):
one at a time.
There's clearly a hole in theceiling, like that's where I'm.
Yeah, I at that point where I'm.

Eric (20:23):
Yeah, I, at that point I'm thinking, did a tree fall
through my roof somewhere?
And I just completely, I was inthe shower when it happened.
Yeah.

Matt (20:29):
Missed it.
So so how do we remedy this?
Four seagulls, Eric, fourdistinct seagulls, and here's
the question.

Eric (20:44):
As soon and here's the question as soon as you said.

Matt (20:45):
Four distinct seagulls, each one like one smoking a
cigarette, another has aswitchblade.
They have identified.
They have different accents.
One swing in a chain one's likeah, one one always lies and one
always tells the truth.
Uh, the so.
So there's four uniqueindividual seagulls, two of them
possibly mystical, but here's aquestion that we didn't ask

(21:08):
that, that there wasn't asked inthe question, but perhaps it
should have been okay.
Are they appearing one at atime or all together?
Oh, okay, so is it a situationwhere we look around and
suddenly, oh, there's fourfucking seagulls here.
Or it's like oh, there's aseagull, oh, there's another one
, oh, there's another one, oh mygod, there's four yeah, bro,

(21:30):
this changes the arithmetic.

Eric (21:31):
If they all appear at once , my brain immediately goes to
my house.
Some of the walls have fallen.
I am exposed to the elements.
If it's one at a time, this isdouble nefarious, because it's
gonna take me personally a whileto realize that these are four
seagulls and not just one veryclever seagull that keeps

(21:51):
getting into my house.
Because you know what I mean.
Because, like, I'm gonna findone, I'm like oh, oh, go on get,
I'm gonna shoo them out ofthere, but then I turn around
seagull in my house againSeagull in your house again and
my brain, my brain, Matt, mybrain, I give the gulls credit.
I'm not thinking, oh new gulljust dropped.
I'm thinking, Babe, wake up.

(22:13):
New gull here Clever gull,that's what I'm thinking Clever
gull, but by the third andfourth time it happens now
starting.
Now I'm starting to like I'mgonna start tagging them like so
you know, so you can track themand that's when I and once I
realize I think that's when Irealize is once I start tagging
and releasing them and I realizethat it's a new goal each time,

(22:35):
I think at four, that is when Ibegin to suspect foul play.

Matt (22:41):
Five for sure.
Five is when I know.
So I think I agree with you andI think I agree that four is
where I'm like.
Wait a minute, how would fourget in here?
How would four just show up?
Hold up, hold up, you'retelling me.
You mean to tell me that fourunique, individual, stranger

(23:06):
seagulls to one another cameinto my home as a band of
misfits on a lark on on ho limb,on a wing I think that?

Stanley Kubrick (23:21):
yeah, I don't think so yeah that.

Eric (23:23):
That five, five, five is when I'm like, okay, I know
something's up and it's five isdefinitely when somebody let
these seagulls in, at the veryleast yes, and six is when I
there is a, there is a.
In the recesses of my mind,there's a small box that I open
in case of emergencies like thisand I start texting.

(23:45):
What did you do to this list ofpeople?
Just like, like I know, theusual suspects who, I think, are
most likely to put birds in myhouse, nice.

Matt (23:56):
Am I on that list?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no nono, no, I didn't think so.

Eric (24:00):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's far too frivolous.

Matt (24:03):
Frivolous, I could do a frivolous prank.
No, you could, I wouldn't dothis Exactly.

Eric (24:08):
It's not your flavor of frivolous, your frivolity.
I don't think it would involveliving creatures.

Matt (24:17):
Probably not.

Eric (24:18):
Especially not birds.

Matt (24:20):
No definitely not birds.
No, definitely not birds.
These, the, the goals, fourgoals being led in individually
especially does remind me ofthat, like the classic.
I think it's classic and it wasdone once in my school, before
my time, but it was done once inmy high school the uh, the pig
prank oh, the classic, classicyou know what I'm talking about.

Eric (24:43):
Where you yeah six pigs into the school and label them
uh, one through eight, or or onethrough seven, or yeah four
pigs, and they're one, two andfour.

Matt (24:53):
Three pigs that are one, two, four and yeah, there is no
three.
Yeah, um, yeah, yeah, yeah,it's a classic.
It was done several years as asenior prank before my time.

Stanley Kubrick (25:03):
Nice, so I can't claim it.

Matt (25:06):
It's a good bit.
I didn't really participate inany senior pranks myself, but we
did have some really good onesduring my time, one of which I
think I talked about before withthe peanut butter.
Somebody broke into the schoolthe night before and in the cat,
they covered the cafeteria inpeanut butter, and I mean

(25:28):
covered just the entirecafeteria, peanut butter as
peanut butter all over the place, and because you can't serve
lunch.
Uh, if you can't serve lunch atthe school, you have to have a
half day.
Um, so you can't keep kids ifyou can't feed them.

Eric (25:46):
So, uh, and they couldn't let anyone in the cafeteria
because of allergies that's allI was gonna say, like god damn,
that was like, if you're you're,six students died, so we so
everyone got a half day.

Matt (25:56):
It was, it was.
It was a great prank from astudent perspective, From an
administrative perspective.
I bet somebody was like find methis giant.

Eric (26:07):
Oh yeah, the liability was out the window.

Matt (26:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, one of the ones, my senior year that
was really good.
There's a science teacher weall really hated and somebody
stole the key to his littlelocker on the wall that held a
bunch of stuff.
But in there were allstopwatches for, like you know,

(26:30):
experiments or whatever, liketimers, stopwatches for bunsen
burners, you know, and so theybefore they stole the key, but
before they stole the key andlocked the thing, they set all
the stopwatches to go off atdifferent times.
Oh my God.
It was just this cacophony ofbeeps coming out of the wall.

Eric (26:55):
See, that's the flavor of frivolous I think Matt Shea
would bring to bear.

Matt (26:59):
Yes, I would do that.
Had I thought of that, I wouldhave been all over it.

Eric (27:02):
But five seagulls in my house.
That's not me, that's not theShea would bring to bear.
Yes, I would do that.
Had I thought of that, I wouldhave been all over it.
But five seagulls in my house.

Matt (27:04):
That's not me, that's not the Shea way.

Eric (27:06):
But after five it has to be premeditated, it has to be
someone fucking.

Matt (27:12):
It has to be premeditated or there is some sort of
apocalypse afoot.
There is some sort of biblicalplague being sent down upon my
home Low and when the fifth gullof his loins up.

Eric (27:28):
Yeah, we all know John 316 .

Matt (27:30):
He shall ride a pale gull.

Eric (27:35):
He shall say come and see.

Matt (27:38):
Yeah, so it's four.
Four is when I think suspicionof frivolity, uh, is afoot.
Yes, perfect, I think we thanks, tiktok thanks, tiktok.
We answer the question whoeverit is that asked.
Now our next one, eric.
You want to share that with us?

Eric (27:56):
yeah, this one comes from that good, that good boy.

Matt (28:01):
He the one, the the one, the him, the singular boy, I am
him, it's him, it's aaron, he is, he is him.
That is known as aaron, aaron,he he.
Just today, on the day we arerecording, he said he hopped
into the discord to hey, it'sbeen a while since I dropped my

(28:22):
fucking genius on you all.

Eric (28:24):
It's been a minute since I laid some solid gold bricks at
your feet.
Here you go, peasants.

Matt (28:30):
It's been a while since I fucking laid this pipe of
question at you.

Stanley Kubrick (28:36):
It's been a while.

Matt (28:37):
And so he did drop a bunch to us, as always.
Thank you, aaron for ourcontent.
This is one of them.
Go ahead, eric, take it away If.

Eric (28:47):
Boy Scouts had cookies.
What would their names be?
Now we're talking.

Matt (28:53):
Oh, now we're digging where there's taters.
Now we're digging where there'staters.
And somebody also hopped onthere in the Discord to say I
don't have Discord up right now.
Let me pull it up to see whoasked.
Somebody mentioned doing adefinitive oh, it was also Aaron
doing a definitive ranking ofGirl Scout cookies.

(29:14):
That might.
This is an idea that we arebantering about for certain
certain.
It's on the idea table, Aaron,I don't think we're going to
pull the trigger on it rightaway.
We might wait for conditions tobe right.

Stanley Kubrick (29:32):
Yes.

Matt (29:35):
For certain people that we have tasted biscuits with in
the past, who may or may not becoming to the country at a later
date.
In it, in it, in it, in it,listen.
Within the past, who may or maynot be coming to the country at
a later date?
In it, in it, listen.
You know.
So lindsey and I are slowlybecoming anglophiles by the
amount of british tv that we arewatching, specifically

(29:56):
taskmaster, and one thing thatwe say over and over again is to
have some of the Britishisms.
I'm so jealous of the Britishdialect, of just being able to
say in it their slang puts oursto shame.
Puts it to shame.

Eric (30:15):
The amount of soccer of course that.

Matt (30:16):
I watch, and I rarely call it soccer.
These days I have turned intothat person.
That's who I've become, and youknow what?
I'm right Anyway.

Eric (30:27):
Also Matt side question to the side tangent.
You've watched Downton Abbeyright.

Matt (30:32):
You know what, Eric?
I have not Bro, I want toLindsay.
Shockingly, Lindsay claims tonot have an interest in watching
Downton Abbey.

Eric (30:43):
I don't believe her.
No, yes, and it's truly one ofthose things where most everyone
I've ever talked to is like Idon't think it'd be for me, and
then I've gotten to watch it.
They're like I'm fucking in.

Matt (30:54):
I do want to watch it right now.

Eric (30:55):
I'm on my third rewatch and Alyssa's never seen it
before and she and she was infrom episode one.

Matt (31:04):
You are fucking in.
I authentically want to watch.
Have you watched the Crown?

Eric (31:07):
No, but that is on my list , the Crown's fucking good man,
yeah.

Matt (31:10):
The Crown is fucking good.
I would watch the Crown again.
Start to finish.
Okay, we can't.
This is not.
Oops, all tangents, eric.
Let me hit you with this MattBoy Scout cookie All I want.
By the way, that whole tangentwas all that only came up
because all I wanted to say isthe other day, the two of us
were like, hey, we haven't had adefinitive ranking in a while.
Yeah, we should ask people whatthey got.

(31:32):
So this is me saying peoplewhat you got, eric.
Go ahead and get us back ontopic.
It's, of course, one of thethings you are best at.

Eric (31:40):
Boy Scout cookies.
Thank you.
First out the gate Thick Mint,two Cs.

Matt (31:47):
Thick Mint with two Cs.
Thick Mints two Cs.

Eric (31:53):
Okay.
So here I was thinking of like-Take a Thin Mint, put three of
them together, cover that wholething in chocolate Thick Mint.
What's?

Matt (31:58):
up.

Stanley Kubrick (31:58):
Oh so you just want to like take Girl scout
cookies I'm not gonna do thatwith, I'm not gonna do that with
all of them.
No, no, no, no no, whoa, whoa.

Matt (32:06):
We celebrate a thick cookie in this house no, no, I'm
not saying we, whoa, we do notbody shame cookies.
Matthew, who's body shamingcookies?
I'm saying you want to ingestthe like?
Oh yeah, give me that thickmint.

Eric (32:20):
Give me that thick mint Toxic masculinity.

Matt (32:22):
I would have so much fun.
Let me ask you this, Eric.
Which one of us is in a garmentpreviously popularly called a
wife beater?

Eric (32:34):
I am not familiar with that name for this garment, of
course you're not, of courseyou're not.
My tank top Too woke poach overhere hasn't heard of it.

Matt (32:44):
Woke, fucking thick mints.

Eric (32:48):
But no, I yeah, I'm not just gonna, I'm not just gonna
make sexy remixes of all the, ofall the but but, like gotta
have a thick mint, two C's twoC's thick mint here.

Matt (32:59):
I was trying to think of things from Scott because, after
all, I am the Eagle Scout inthe room.
I was trying to find the liketenderfoot is a thing that could
be thrown out, oh yeah, or youknow the scout lore that could
be brought in.

Eric (33:16):
Yeah, I noticed, like a lot of the, a lot of the.
I want to examine the languagesurrounding these, these cookie
names, cause you look at thegirl scout cookies, the, the,
the names of girl scout cookiesare are like the.
The overarching theme is veryplayful yes, Tagalongs,
do-si-dos, fun, frivolous kidthings.

Matt (33:38):
Um, so you want the boy scout cookies to be manly names,
thick mint, no, mint, no, no,like thick mint.

Eric (33:46):
I I'm, I'm honest to god, approaching it more like what
would a bunch of dumb ass 10 and11 year old boys think are just
great names for a cookie, uh?
Uh, turbo chargers yeah now,we're now, we're in it, dog, now
we're fucking in it.

Matt (34:08):
Slimmer snacks because we all know the boy scouts sell
popcorn and the popcorn is notthe best and also far too
fucking expensive says somebodythis boy scout popcorn who?
Yeah, are you telling me you'venever had the boy scout popcorn
?

Eric (34:22):
it's, I know it's famous to boy scouts.
I mean I, I know like in thecultural, look all you've never
had boy scout popcorn.

Matt (34:31):
You've never supported a boy scout by buying.

Eric (34:34):
My family can't afford boy scout popcorn if you can, if
you can in this economy yeah, inthis day and age, and they're
fucking, I feel I, I want to sayfor myself the girl scouts won
the snack war.

Matt (34:46):
Oh, no one is arguing that the girl scouts won the snack
war.
Oh, no one is arguing that theGirl Scouts won the snack war.
Okay, no one is arguing.
The Boy Scouts should not beselling popcorn and every now
and then they have some otherversion.
Of course it is just Scouts ofAmerica now.
But yes, besides, the BoyScouts have always sold popcorn.

(35:09):
And so because I've been in thetrenches, Eric, of going door
to door selling popcorn, sellingmy wares to my neighbors
Peddling.
While my mother waits on thesidewalk Fucking death of a
salesman out here.

Eric (35:26):
Back to back.

Matt (35:27):
Ma'am, can I interest you in a tin of caramel popcorn?
We got a little divider in herefor three different flavors in
one tin.

Eric (35:41):
You got your cheddar, you got your caramel and the one
nobody likes.

Matt (35:46):
And one that calls itself kettle corn, but it's not, and
one that takes up kettle corn,but it's not.

Eric (35:50):
And one that takes up space that could have been taken
up by either of the other twoflavors and one that's just
unpopped kernels.
Raw dog in that corn.
We called it DIY corn.
Call it deconstructed popcorn,deconstructed popcorn.
Again the raw back.

Matt (36:11):
Stanley kubrick, the boy scout, came back it's me,
stanley kubrick.

Eric (36:15):
I'm just pleased as punch to be selling my boy scout
cookies boy scout cookies.

Matt (36:21):
We got to get back to the boy scout boy scout cookies.

Eric (36:23):
Uh, there should be ones called snipes snipes eric yeah,
was that a thing in here?
That was a story were you toldabout.
Was it snipes like the, the,the, the, the, the creature that
lived in the woods, that youtell all the new boy scouts
about, to make them scared?

Matt (36:40):
oh, I mean, I didn't call them snipes, but I I do know
what you're talking about.
Yeah, there was always stufflike that.
Uh, well, I mean I think Italked about the left-handed
smoke shifter on this podcastbefore a left-handed smoke
shifter do you recall would be?
A would be a baller ass namefor a cookie yo can I get some
left-handed smoke shifters handme a hand me a left-hand smoke

(37:02):
shifter real quick.
Do you remember my left-handsmoke shifter?

Eric (37:05):
uh, yeah, that's.
That's the breastplatestretcher, that's's the
headlight fluid.

Matt (37:10):
Yes, go get me the left-handed smoke shifter.
What does it look like?
Like you don't know what aleft-handed smoke shifter is.
Go get it, yeah.
Don't bring me the right one.

Eric (37:18):
So all of the Boy Scout cookie are just fucking memes.

Matt (37:24):
Memes and dreams that's one.
Memes and dreams.

Eric (37:28):
Memes and dreams that's one Can Memes and dreams, that's
one.

Matt (37:35):
Memes and dreams.
Memes and dreams, that's one.
Can I get some memes and dreamswithout the creams?
It could be whatever girls,whatever cookie, brand of cookie
you want to make memes anddreams.
I got three boxes right here.
Right here, sight unseen, giveme three boxes of memes and
dreams, memes and dreams, memesand dreams sells itself.
Because, let me tell you, thishouse, this house here buys some

(37:57):
Girl Scout cookies.

Eric (37:59):
Oh, you got to.

Matt (38:00):
We get multiple shipments a year oh they see me coming.
They see like I'll stop forsure, but ever since Girl Scouts
made it possible to buy fromthe website and order game
changer, Game changer.
Don't even need a Noah GirlScout now.
Don't ever need to interactwith a child.

Eric (38:24):
I don't need to haggle with Susie.

Matt (38:27):
I can just fucking Well, Eric, you shouldn't be haggling
with Susie.
They're four bucks, buddy.
What are you doing?

Eric (38:33):
Give me two for eight final offer.

Matt (38:39):
Teaching the worst haggling skills to children.
All right, fine.

Eric (38:43):
Bartering like I'm in a bazaar.
Three for 12, that's my finaloffer Three for 12,.
Final offer Take it or leave it.

Matt (38:54):
Susie, you're breaking my balls here.

Eric (38:55):
Jesus, sharon, what are you doing?

Matt (39:02):
I just imagine fucking saying to some Girl Scouts mom,
you're going to come get yourkid.
She's standing right there.

Eric (39:05):
Yeah, don't get your fucking kid.
You're going to get this kid,your fucking kid you're gonna
get this kid.

Matt (39:09):
You're gonna get this kid.
It reminds I'm I'm reminded ofa quick tale of when former
guests of the show uh, we mighthave mentioned this on his
episode anthony conway whenlindsey and I went to visit him
and some of our other uh pals inchicago, uh, long, a long time,
many a year ago now, we werethere for st patty's day and so
we were going bar to bar and wecame out of this one bar and

(39:32):
there was a girl with her motherselling girl scout cookies to
the fucking wasted people alljust flooding the streets of
chicago.

Eric (39:41):
That girl must have been a millionaire by the end of the
day, is legal in chicago.

Matt (39:46):
So yeah, they were oh making bank and we said, oh, we
don't have $4.
Some guy on the street heard ussay that and bought us a thing
of Thin Mints.

Eric (39:57):
And folks in Chicago are nice as hell.

Matt (39:59):
And so then, there we were just walking around, open box
of Thin Mints, just chowing downin the middle of Chi town,
living the dream.
It was a great day.

Eric (40:09):
So we got memes and dreams .
Just chowing down in the middleof Chi town, live in the dream.
It was a great day, it's agreat day, so we got we got.

Matt (40:14):
We got memes and dreams.
We got.
Yeah, we got um.
Can I get a box of stepdads?
Sorry they're not here, sorrythey're absent.

Eric (40:30):
Ooh.

Stanley Kubrick (40:30):
Oh man, but I do, but I do taste so good when
we have them.

Eric (40:33):
But I do.
But I do have a box of tea bags, tea bags 100, I do I do, oh,
oh oh.

Stanley Kubrick (40:42):
I do have a box of purple nurples here, purple
nurples, can I just see you in abox of purple nurples, maybe
some wet willies.

Matt (40:49):
Oh, yeah, yeah, Swirlies.

Eric (40:53):
Want some prairie dogs.

Matt (40:54):
Prairie dogs.
Ew yeah, what would Eric tellme?
What would?
A prairie dog, they'd besimilar to Tell me the prairie
dog cookie.

Eric (41:03):
Similar to a Buckeye, but far more upsetting.

Matt (41:06):
Yes, Perfect.
Perfect, perfect.
What I was picturing is youknow.
Okay, what I was picturing isyou know those cookies I forget
what they're called that arelike you just have the round
cookie with the Hershey kissright in the middle.
You know, it's like that.
Only it's like, it's like afull Tootsie Roll, just like

(41:30):
coming out of the middle of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that'sthe prairie dog.
Oh man, of course you can pushit back in if you need to.

Eric (41:38):
This also begs the question, because we've got Girl
Scout cookies, we've got BoyScout cookies.
Where are my non-binary cookiesat?

Stanley Kubrick (41:46):
That's true.

Eric (41:47):
I feel like I shout out to dear human of my heart pat, who
is non-binary, and uh who, whohas one of my favorite jokes of
all time, which is I got jumpedby two non-binary people in an
alley.

Matt (42:03):
I was fighting tooth and nail nice, such a good joke nice
such a good joke, nice, uh, uh,so yeah, yeah, okay, so we need
, can I get some they thems?

Eric (42:16):
they thems are good, that's, that's good and you know
, and you know, instead of tagalongs them all alongs them all,
them all longs them all.

Matt (42:25):
You know that either one of these corporations, if they
were to have a gen, a quote,neutral cookie, it would just be
one.

Eric (42:34):
Oh yeah, it would be the token cookie.

Matt (42:38):
It would be the they thems , and oh, what a controversy it
would be.

Eric (42:46):
Oh, and it would make them so much money.

Matt (42:48):
It's so much money because so many people would go get the
.

Eric (42:50):
They them ms I won't lay them right now yeah, I want to,
oh, fuck, uh, oh, yeah, yeah,yeah, uh, it would be, uh, two
other cookies they would have onthe nine binder.
It'd be sladies and gentlethems two.
Oh, those are two separateflavors no, yeah, sladies and
gentle thems that's not one no,they're it, it's one, but

(43:11):
everyone always buys themtogether.

Matt (43:13):
I see.
I see, I thought maybe they'dgo together like some sort of
sandwich-based cookie, you know,like an Oreo-esque cookie.
100%, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah.
Well, you're saying actually 0%.
You're saying the opposite.
You're saying it wouldn't bethat.

Eric (43:27):
Agree to disagree.
Agree to disagrees.
It's a spectrums.
It's a spectrums Can I get?

Matt (43:34):
some spectrums.
Can I get some spectrums?
That does sound like aheartburn medication Spectrums,
spectrums.
Ask your doctor if spectrums isright for you.
Yeah, I think we got some solidoptions across across the board
on on across the spectrum.
All right, this has been a uh,a questionable episode up until

(44:00):
this point.
Eric, I'd say there have beenquestions.
There have been questions andour answers to them pretty good
and the questions aren't quitedone.

Eric (44:10):
Matt, because it's time for a pop quiz.

Matt (44:14):
That's what I was sensing it.

Eric (44:16):
I was sensing that you were ready, you were feel randy
to give me these questions somatt yes, game master I want to
preface this with, and I think Iknow the answer I just want to
establish for the listeners Ican't take it because you're one
of my, you're one of my bestfriends on this planet I, I I

(44:36):
take I.
There's a lot of things I takefor granted when I'm, when I'm
when you speak to me and regardme in any way.
Yes, yeah but I just want matt.
How much do you know aboutburning man?

Matt (44:48):
uh, I would say a base amount.
You know that it exists, I knowthat exists, I know some guy
died there, uh, this year, umokay, and probably every other
year also, but I know recentlyin the news somebody died
burning yeah.

Eric (45:03):
So just to yeah, burn the quick I know the broad spoke
strokes.

Matt (45:06):
It's in the desert, the 60s the desert.

Eric (45:09):
There's no buying or selling anything.
It is a gift-based economy.

Matt (45:14):
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
I just know there's a big oldman that they burn at the end.
It's in the desert, no oneshould be there in general, and
it's a terrible idea all around.
That's what I know.

Eric (45:24):
So that said, I call this game Burn or Bust Burn or.

Matt (45:28):
Bust.
All right, I like it.

Eric (45:29):
I'm going to tell you things that have happened at
Burning man.
At Burning man.
Doesn't necessarily have to bethis year.

Matt (45:36):
This is good.

Eric (45:37):
But these are either things that have happened at
Burning man or they didn't.
This is good, eric, this isgood.
Okay, now, I figured you mightknow this one.
It's a bit of a gimmick and youalready mentioned it, but first

(45:59):
one, matt man found dead in apool of blood.
Uh, burn, burn.
Yes, that did in fact happenand that's what happened this
year, right, yes, uh, it's verysad, it was happening while the
man that's what the, the, thegiant statue, while the man was
burning.
Uh, they, they found this guydead in a pool of blood still
investigating.
It's super weird.
Oh, my god, the energy hasgotten and I I know this is
gonna sound fucking hilarious toyou, but the energy has gotten

(46:19):
weird at burning man, apparently, and I've never been I would
love to.

Matt (46:22):
I can't imagine how it happened, but I'll tell you this
, eric, I'll be all over thatnetflix documentary about this
murdered man.

Eric (46:32):
Oh, Netflix is going to have a fucking field day.

Matt (46:33):
I'm going to be all over the murdered man in a pool of
blood in front of the burningeffigy.

Eric (46:37):
All right, Matt Couple ejected from the event for
stealing endangered reptile eggsfor food.

Matt (46:45):
Yeah, that sounds like Burning man.

Eric (46:47):
That is a bust, that's a bust.

Matt (46:48):
Okay, is that something you made up or did that happen
elsewhere?

Eric (46:53):
Oh no, I just made that up , but there are some of these
Clever goal.
Yeah, a saxophone flamethrower.

Matt (47:00):
Hmm, how, mad Max, I'm going to say Burn.
That is a bust Damn.
You had the same thought I did,yeah.

Eric (47:13):
Okay, burn, that is a bus.
Damn, you had the same thoughtI did.
Yeah, okay, uh.
And fun fact, there is aflaming uh, there is a
flamethrower saxophone.
It was built by my friend andneighbor, joe, who attends
burning man.
They use it, they, they, he, heis a burner, uh and that and
they like, they do all kinds oflike burn events across the
country.
But but the flamethrowersaxophone was built for his band
.
I got to see it in action onceit's really cool, very cool.

(47:35):
The orgy dome got blown over ina dust storm.

Matt (47:42):
I'm not doing hot, but I feel like that's a bust.
But based on the question sofar, pattern wise, I want to say
it's a burn, but I'm gonna sayit's a bust it is a burn I knew
it, I fucking knew it, I wasthis year the orgy dome got
blown over to what no one wasoccupying it at the time.

Eric (48:00):
What is the orgy dome?

Matt (48:02):
uh, is it what it sounds like?
Yes, it is why, is it there whyis there a a legal place for
that?

Eric (48:09):
Oh, Matt Nothing.

Matt (48:11):
A sanctioned orgy location .

Eric (48:15):
That's the thing about Burning man man, it's like
they're.
I don't know what legalframeworks are in place.
I just know 80,000 people gointo the desert and build a city
there.

Matt (48:28):
And about 40 come out.
Yeah, people go into the desertand build a city there and
about 40 come out.
Yeah, because the rest are justtrapped in the orgy dome.
At least 20 of them arepregnant.

Eric (48:36):
I did, I did see uh, I did see a post um online of some uh
on reddit of someone.
After the orgy dome got blownover, someone posted with the
caption we will rebuild.
It was just a single tarp andit just said the orgy tarp I'm
looking up the burning man orgydome.

Matt (48:55):
I want to see a picture of it.
I have to see a picture of itit's just a fucking tent oh,
that's all burning man.

Eric (49:02):
At the end of the day, it's just tents it's just a tent
, it's just.

Matt (49:05):
It's a group, my God.

Eric (49:08):
Yeah, feast your eyes, dog .

Matt (49:12):
First of all for the Orgy Dome.
There's a lot of clothes on inhere, All right, Anyway,
continue.
I'll look at my soft corepornography later.

Eric (49:24):
A swarm of people dressed as Loraxes prowled the desert.

Matt (49:30):
Damn Eric, you are good at this.
I mean, this is this could goeither way, I know burn.

Eric (49:37):
It is a burn.
Thank God, at least I gotanother one and I pulled all
these.
Some of these I've I had topull from headlines, others I
had to like dig through Reddit,like just reading people's crazy
ass stories from Burning man.
Here's one, a burner theme,because there's like something
you need to know about Burningman is like there's all the
different camps and stuff.

(49:58):
They all have like thesedifferent themed parties going
on the entire time.
Burner party theme night of1000.
Hunter S Thompson's Bust thatis a bust that did happen in
baltimore at the wind-up spaceabout seven or eight years ago
okay, all right, so based intruth.

(50:18):
Based in truth I walked intothat event and two separate
people tried to sell memushrooms within five minutes of
being in the building.

Matt (50:25):
Needless to say you were there.

Eric (50:26):
Yes, of course yes, a camp made.
There is a camp made of brokendown minivans named van holla
these are clever, both real andimagined.

Matt (50:43):
They are clever material burn.
That is a bust.
Oh, good job, but it is real,of course.

Eric (50:50):
It is my buddy, joe the aforementioned burner.
He has a uh chunk of land outin west virginia, uh, and and
they're a bunch of our buddieshave, like they're broken down
vans parked in this area thathas now been dubbed van holla
and they're they want to convertthem into like campable, like
they want to weatherproof theshit out of them and turn them

(51:10):
into like little little, almostlike little lean twos.
Okay, that I, I, I support that.
Yeah, a man refused medicalassistance from trained emts
after face planting off of hisbike riding down a ramp and said
, quote, energy healing onlyrefused medical assistance from

(51:32):
trained EMTs saying, quote,energy healing only after face
planting off of his bike.

Matt (51:39):
Even if you made it up, I think it probably happened.
I'm saying burn.

Eric (51:42):
It happened.
Oh it, it absolutely fucking.
Yeah, it did.
Yeah, I found that was a storyI found on Reddit and people
were commenting like, yeah, thatwas a friend of mine, I'm a
trained nurse and he refused tolet me help him.
Beef alert the desert hippiesof Burning man versus Diplo.

Matt (52:05):
That sounds like a headline you found.
I'm going to say burn.

Eric (52:09):
That is a burn.
Apparently, diplo has anacrimonious relationship with
the attendees of Burning man.
Snorting drugs off of a loadedrat trap Bust that is a bust,
but that did happen.

Matt (52:27):
What crazy underground event did you find?

Eric (52:29):
that in eric I will say nothing other than my friends go
hard, oh god eric, whattroubled life you live naked
hippie stampede.

Matt (52:43):
Uh, I mean that's burning man, is it?
You just told me about thatorgy dome yeah I'm gonna say
bust, though I'm gonna say youmade it up, no it didn't.

Eric (52:53):
There is a.

Matt (52:53):
There's a they, they will I mean of course, there are
they'll, they'll.

Eric (52:56):
There's like a naked marathon that people run
throughout the throughout theevent.

Matt (53:00):
Yeah, by all means, do a marathon in the desert as well,
as if it's iron man a fan madelegends of the hidden temple.

Eric (53:10):
Temple bust that is a burn damn it.

Matt (53:14):
Burning man, you got all kinds of shit going on many
delights many delights a?

Stanley Kubrick (53:20):
a for all different types, for all
different types, including aphilharmonic orchestra a phil
harmonic orchestra, as in like.

Matt (53:30):
Are you trying to do it like a pun like?

Eric (53:33):
no, no, it's not a pun like a philharmonic or a
philharmonic.
Okay, it just sounded like yousaid, a phil a philharmonic.
Everyone's named philip um no,a philharmonic orchestra in the
desert.
I'm gonna say bust.

Matt (53:46):
That is true.

Eric (53:47):
There's a philharmonic orchestra burning man dude, it
is 80 000 people attend.
You need to look up thepictures of burning man.

Matt (53:55):
It's a city emerges in the desert, the picture, I mean I
don't, I'm all right, I meanI've seen the pictures look up a
picture of burning man.
Yeah, the semi-circle I've seenlike an aerial view, all right,
burning man at night from thesky.
I mean it's crazy, that iscrazy, it's fucking insane.
It is.
That is that these are crazyimages.

Eric (54:17):
I'll give that to you matthew, how crazy would you
consider a complete recreationof mr rogers house, complete
with studio seating.

Matt (54:26):
That's a, that's a burn.
That has to have happened nowthat's fake.
I made that up you made that up, huh, yeah, wow, wow you, and
you placed it well, because myexpectations are gone Like I
have.
No, I'm just shooting from thehip now.

Eric (54:43):
Bro, this is what Burning Man's about.
It's about breaking down thosebarriers, man.

Matt (54:49):
Are you sure?
I think it's about risking yourlife to do mushrooms in the
desert, but which is alsocompletely accurate.

Eric (54:58):
But okay, a train station oh, I'm gonna say bust, and
you're gonna say it's true,somehow it is true, someone,
literally they built that, ithas, it has like it's like the
little, the little, it's thelittle, like station they.
They laid down 10 feet of trackand put a little a little oh my

(55:20):
god people I, I saw pictures,matt.
Somebody built an entirehillbilly shack, like, like,
like.
It looks like a like like you'dsee it on the bottle of the, on
the side of the old bottles ofmountain dew.
Hillbilly shack golly okay.

Matt (55:34):
Reported stolen a five gallon bucket of pcp I'm gonna
say bust, that is fake, I madethat up.
Okay, I was gonna say uh, comeon it just didn't sound.

Eric (55:47):
This weekend I'm going to the beach, nice nice.

Matt (55:52):
Don't you be digging a big hole and leaving it Once?
You'd be digging a big hole andleaving it Continue.
Woman who did not know she waspregnant, spontaneously
delivered her baby in an RVcamper.
I'm going to say burn.

Eric (56:11):
You are correct that happened this year.

Matt (56:15):
Oh, that is reminiscent, though not directly the thing of
a very popular and funny momentof the Righteous Gemstones.
Something similar takes place,but not quite the same.

Eric (56:28):
I need to get back to the Righteous.

Matt (56:30):
Gemstones.

Eric (56:30):
God it's so good, it's so good.
I fucking love it, it's so good.

Matt (56:34):
It's so brilliantly written.
It's so heartfelt and satiricalat the same it it's so good,
it's so brilliantly written.
It's so heartfelt and satiricalat the same time.
It's great.
Danny McBride, I'm going tofollow you into the goddamn dark
.

Eric (56:43):
You want to talk about heartfelt speed dating for dogs?
Bust, that is a bust.
I made that up.
Pets are actually not allowedat Burning man.

Matt (56:53):
Oh well, yeah, we wouldn't want a dog to die out there.

Eric (56:56):
Now 5000.
Man, oh what well, yeah, wewouldn't want a dog to die out
there.
Now, 5 000 bicycles left behindin the desert burn.
Yes, that is is a very.
This is.
This is one of like the while.
I love the spirit of burningman, I love like the energy,
like that whole idea.
The people who attend itnowadays are mostly because it's

(57:16):
like a 600 ticket just to getin, so like it's mostly trust
fund kids just going to party inthe desert.
A lot of people buy all of thisgear.
They will leave thousands ofbikes.
They'll leave entire rv campers.
They'll leave tents campersyeah, they're because.
Because it's just, they're abunch of rich fucking kids who

(57:36):
to them, it's just way more of ahassle to get it out than it is
to just fucking leave it, damn.
And then, finally, matthewsecurity offers at Burning man
are lovingly nicknamed Bummerman.
Hmm, bust, that is correct.
I made that up, nice, nice.
So, let me run this through.
So there were 20, 20 of these.

(57:58):
You got one, two, three, four,five, six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven over, 50, over 50,I'll take it d's get degrees
baby d d's get degrees, degreesoh, I actually just saw the
picture of all the bikes leftafter Burning man 2017.
Jesus Christ, Brand new bikes.

Matt (58:20):
Yeah, it does look honestly.
Oh my God, Matt abandonedproperty and vehicles.
It really does honestly looklike something you'd see after
like a hurricane came through atown.

Eric (58:32):
Yeah, there's actually like a lot of business for like
junk scavengers and stuff, likethey'll just come collect all
the bikes and then sell, resellthem.

Matt (58:41):
Well, sure, yeah.
I mean, why wouldn't you?
Why wouldn't you Exactly?

Eric (58:46):
But, thank you, this has been Burn or Bust.
Burn or Bust, matt.
I'm not even going to ever.
I'm not even going to insultyou by even asking if you would
ever even consider going toBurning man.

Matt (58:59):
I would not consider going to Burning man.

Eric (59:01):
No, no, I think I.
Well, I know I can get you intoa mosh pit for $1,000.
Yeah, I mean the price might begoing up on that, but yeah, I
could offer you all expensespaid into Burning man, and I
think that'd be a hard sell.

Matt (59:14):
I don't think so.
I don't think you're ever gonnaget me there for any purpose,
let alone the fact that I canalmost guarantee I don't know a
single fucking musician that'sgoing to be playing there.
Beyond that fact, bro, youdon't fuck with didgeridoo, I do
.
Uh, didgeridoo is a is a handyweapon that can be used in

(59:36):
hitman 3 no actually I think,it's hitman 2 that it first
appears.
The new hitman 2, the world ofassassination trilogy,
didgeridoo damn boy, didgeridoodamn boy.

Eric (59:47):
It can be used as weapon didgeridangs would be another
good boy scout cookiedidgeridangs yes, that's that's.
That's their answer to thesamoa there you go there you go
the didgeridangs, thedidgeridangs.

Matt (01:00:03):
There you go, and that'll about do it, I think for this.
That'll about do it this, thisrambling and brambling episode
of you didn't ask for this.
Folks, we do need yourquestions, of course, and we
still want those suggestions fordefinitive rankings.
If you want to sell them init's been a minute and we want

(01:00:23):
to do one, get one back.
If you got your daft and afraidsuggestions, throw them our way
.
Really, any old thing you wantto throw our way, you can at.
You didn't ask for thisgmailcom, that's all spelled out
.
You didn't ask pod onInstagramcom, that's all spelled
out.
You didn't ask pod on Instagram, tiktok, et cetera, et cetera.
Or, of course, you could justshoot us a message when you join

(01:00:44):
the discord, which, of course,you'd have to do via the.

Eric (01:00:47):
Patreon, eric, for $1 a month you can be a member of the
Udaft Patreon and at the $1tier you get access to the
Discord, where, I must say, thevibes it's like Burning man, but
electronically oh yeah, it's onfire.

Matt (01:01:09):
We have our own orgy dome.

Eric (01:01:10):
I was bro, you beat me to it.
I was about, in fact, right now, matt, you're going to name a
channel orgy dome I'm with noexplanation with no context with
no context I support whatsoeverand do we agree right now that
we just do not?
If they ask about it, we don't,we don't even address it uh,
yeah, we'll just say don't knowwhat are you talking about?

Matt (01:01:32):
what are you?

Eric (01:01:33):
talking about?
Um, let me see, let me just getin here and we are recording
this the day that oops alltangents, 12 drops so people are
gonna think it has to do with.
Oh, I don't know why I'm doingthis on my phone when I have
there we go and speaking ofwhile eric's creating that
channel.

Matt (01:01:49):
Speaking of, oops, all tangents.
You get that for four dollars amonth.
It is a bonus.
Episode comes out once a month.
It's just like this, thisepisode, only it's all tangenty.
And sometimes we tell personalstories of things like my
engagement and Eric's hot datein Pennsylvania.

Eric (01:02:07):
Oh yeah, my hot-ass date in Pennsylvania.
It was so good it was.
It was very good.

Matt (01:02:12):
So those are the kind of things you can hear on Oops All
Tangents $4 a month.
You didn't ask Patreoncom slash.
You didn't ask for this.

Eric (01:02:21):
Bam.

Matt (01:02:22):
And now we've got a weird channel called Orgy Dome, the
Orgy Dome, and with that, Ithink that'll about do it for
all of us here.
That'll do it At.
You Didn't Ask For this.
My name's Matt Shea, my name'sEric Poach and listen, you
didn't ask.

Eric (01:02:38):
But I just want to take a moment to thank you again for
watching 2001, the Space Odyssey.
And you know when I firststarted filming this movie, I
get a lot of comments.
People ask me Stanley, this isStanley.
I say yes, yes, sir or ma'am.
They say Stanley, why do youtake such long shots, with the

(01:02:59):
slow zooming in and not changingthe perspective of the shot for
a long time?
It's so brilliant.
Why wouldn't Spidey do that?
And, honestly, that's when Itell them.
I'm going to be perfectlyhonest with you One day.

Stanley Kubrick (01:03:11):
I just got a little distracted by what have
you and whatnot and I justforgot to turn off the camera.

Matt (01:03:18):
I forgot to say cut.
I'm going to let him go.

Stanley Kubrick (01:03:20):
And they just kept standing there letting me
film.
So I said you know what, whydon't we take a chance on this
little happy accident?
You know, when I think aboutthe most difficult part of
filming the moon landing andstarting to shine, it was
getting all those little wisecaptions.

(01:03:42):
Neil Armstrong started jackingit until