127 | Nudity Ruins Movies

The spookisode is finally here, and we've got a very special treat for all you ghouls and ghosts: Halloween Google Gripes! That's right, a first-ever standalone Gripes where we go head-to-head on six Halloween movies. 

But first: What's an acceptable Candy Tax to implement on your kids post Trick-or-Treating? And can you reuse a Halloween costume for multiple parties in a year?

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Episode Transcript

Matt (00:00):
Eric, in nineteen ninety-seven, a film came out.
It's a film that I didn't knowit at the time, but was about
me.
Do go on, Matthew.
It stars Nathan Lane, LeeEvans, Christopher Walken.
Okay.
Goes by the name of Mouse Hunt.

Eric (00:20):
Okay.
You familiar with Mouse Hunt?
I'm intimately familiar.
I am I I remember the scenewhere the guy eats a roach and
throws it up, and there's half aroach still wriggling on the
table.
That fucked me up somethingfierce as a child.

Matt (00:38):
Eric, the film I have since discovered is about me, my
life.
It's an autobiography of me.
You see, Eric, I have an olderhouse, as you know.
Okay.
And when we moved in, there wasa few dead mice in the crawl
space.
And so I said, Oh shit, wemight have a mouse we might have
a mouse problem.

(00:59):
But we're almost on two years.
And Nary a mouse.

Eric (01:04):
Nary a mouse.
Oh, that you've seen.

Matt (01:06):
That we've seen, but I will say I was very proactive.
When we moved in and I clearedout those dead mouse mice
corpses, I put in I put in sometraps, you know, in case.

Eric and Matt (01:16):
And I check them.
I check them periodically.

Eric (01:18):
They're always surrounds with your with your old tiny
prospector's lantern.

Matt (01:23):
My own timey, yes, with my lantern I go down into the
catacombs and look around andpoke them and make sure that
they're they're good.
And you know, they're never thesprings.
And the other day I was sittingright here at this very
computer, and all of a sudden Iheard Lindsay say my name in a
way that can only evoke a anythought in my head went away.

(01:49):
One single mat was enough forme to go, oh, this one requires
my immediate attention.
You know what I'm talkingabout.

Eric (01:58):
Yes.
That that neuron pat it it'sit's something is amiss.

Matt (02:03):
Yep.
So I burst out of the door,prepared to say, what's wrong?
And the first before I can evendo that, I see in front of my
petrified wife is a fuckingmouse in the middle of my living
room, just running around, outin the open, with the lights on.

Eric (02:23):
No, no, no, no, no.
That you gotta stamp that outright quick.

Matt (02:26):
I was like, uh uh uh and he saw me and he knew it was
coming, he bolted.
And he he went into my utility.

Eric (02:32):
He beheld the alpha.

Matt (02:33):
Well, Eric, you see, I don't know if you knew this
about me, but when it comes tomice, I possess a particular set
of skills.
Skills I have acquired over along and illustrious career of
apartment dwelling.
Uh and I am, I don't know why,very good at catching and
killing mice.

Eric (02:54):
I firmly believe you were a cat in a previous life.

Matt (02:57):
To very recent one.
No way.
Uh so uh nope, absolutely not.
The such a cat thing to say.
Nope.
Okay, hold on.
The rage has subsided.
The so I so so so I sometimesam called upon by friends who
know this about me to set uptraps.

(03:19):
This is a service I'veprovided.
Damn.
Okay, yeah.
A friend we went to collegewith not long after college,
actually, sought me out becauseof my mice killing abilities.
And in that circumstance, themouse also started running
around in person, and I struckhim with a fire frying pan.

Eric (03:37):
Um You struck the mouse, the mouse with a frying pan?

Matt (03:40):
You straight up Tom and Jerry'd that mouse?
Yes, he flew across the room,and unfortunately, I broke his
little legs, but he was stillalive.

Eric (03:48):
Oh my god.

Matt (03:49):
And I was forced to like, you know, put him out of his
misery.
Did you at least look him inthe eye when you did it?
I did.
I said, I'm really sorry aboutthis.
Shabam.

Eric (03:57):
And the mouse gave you a look like, I understand.

Matt (04:00):
End it.
End it, brother.
Uh and so I did, but that wasemotional.
And so I don't like to come indirect contact with the mice.
I like to trap and kill them.
And let me tell you a littlebit about my process.
I don't care for glue traps.
I find them.

Eric (04:18):
No, they're they're exceptionally cruel.

Matt (04:20):
They're exceptionally cruel.
Then you have to hear themscream and stuff, and you don't
want that.

Eric (04:25):
The best case scenario, if you forget about the best case
scenario, is that they justfucking starve to death.

Matt (04:29):
Yeah, exactly.
But that's also slow andpainful.

Eric (04:32):
Yeah.

Matt (04:33):
And the spin traps, I find are good for like public-facing
areas, you know, where the traphas to be exposed, kind of
thing.
Yeah.
Because they're a little hit ormiss.
But for me, for my money, theclassic snap is the best thing.
It is quick, it is relative inthe grand scheme of things,
painless.
I think, I think it nine timesout of ten, depending on how

(04:55):
they approach that bait, it'sinstant, instant death.
Um, and so it's my preferredmethod.
And so I had only a couple umkicking around of my preferred
brand of Tomcat.
So I ran out and got some uhgot us some uh uh Victors or
Victories, whatever the classicone is, the original with the V.

(05:19):
Yeah.
But much to my surprise, Eric,these Victors don't have the
little cheese thing.

Eric (05:26):
No, they are very old school.

Matt (05:28):
They're very old school, and they have a little brass
thing.
So that's important.
Remember the brass thing.
Remembering the brass.
Remember the brass thing.
So first I chase this mouse,and I say, Oh, you son of a
bitch.
And Lindsay, of course, very isscared of them, scared of mice.
And so uh the well, I don'tknow why, of course, but
Lindsay's scared of mice.
So I'm dealing with this mouse.

(05:48):
I'm chasing him around thehouse, uh around the basement,
and he goes behind my furnace.
Of course he does.
And so I'm like, okay, let melet me get out some traps.
So I put some traps out, andwhile I'm putting traps out, I
look out across the bathroom.
You know the layout of mybasement, so you can follow
along with this.
Very tasteful.
Who do I see?
The mouse.
And I'm like, how the fuck didyou get over here?

(06:10):
And so Spider-Man pointing ateach other.
And so I go, I I grab thenearest object to me, which
happened to be a baseball bat,and I started chasing the mouse
again.
And I was like, I don't want tohit him.

Eric (06:22):
Uh but and and Matt, I sorry, I I I I I don't want to
throw off your rhythm at all,but I I have I need you to know
that everything that is about tohappen that you're gonna
describe in my head, I will behearing the battery.

Matt (06:39):
And I and I am carrying a baseball bat.
Uh a wooden baseball bat.
Uh and so I'm Socrates, thesame baseball bat I had in
college.

Eric (06:47):
Uh yes, I I know that.
I I know that bat.
Yes, I know it's a name.
Yes, yes, it's served me manyyears.
One day some survivors in thewasteland are gonna bring me
that, and I'm gonna be likefucking Elrond of the Wastes.
I'm like, oh, this is anancient bat.

Matt (07:04):
Not oh, my friend must be dead.

Eric (07:08):
Uh-huh.
I mean, I know where your bat Iknow where your body is.
Okay, saboteur.

Matt (07:14):
Uh so I chase this mouse.
He's running all over theplace.
He disappears once again intomy bathroom.
And so I, out of a sheer panic,close the door.
And I'm like, okay, he's in thebathroom.
I can formulate a plan.
Lindsay is concerned that Imight break the toilet or the

(07:35):
glass uh shower thing byrandomly swinging objects.

Eric (07:39):
I would say, to her credit, you do you are armed
with Socrates and and nearby afrying pan.
Um Bro, this is mouse, this isfucking mouse hunt.

Matt (07:50):
It is mouse hunt.
So instead I say, okay, I knowjust what I'm gonna do.
Ha ha.
So I barricade the door'slittle opening with various
objects, except for the farcorner where I set a trap.
So there's one natural placefor him to come out.
He's gonna come face first intoa fucking Victor trap.
And then just to make sure, Iput another Victor on either

(08:13):
corner.
So if he gets around it and hestarts running, he'll have to go
right over my fucking trap.
And he might by happenstance,even if he doesn't go for the
bait, he might just trip thething.
Just run over it.
I've had success with thismethod.
Sometimes I put them backwardsand forcing them to go over the
spring part, and that works too.
You can do it that way too, myfriends.

(08:34):
Heed my call.
And so then I said, okay,everything's set up, the
conditions are right.
And I took a couple of VictorSnapchaps, got my peanut butter
on them, set them, opened thedoor, and slid them, slid them
out like I was throwingflashbang grenades.
Uh I slid them out and closedthe door.

Eric (08:56):
Slicing the pie!

Matt (08:57):
And I closed the door again, and I turned to my
blushing bride and I said,Honey, wait for a snap.
That's all we gotta do.
He's in the bathroom.
His options are dig a hole inthe wall, which he's probably
gonna do, uh, or have a littlesnack.
Have a little snack.
Eric, there was no snap.

(09:18):
I could have yup.
There's no snap.
And so I said, Well, that's allright.
I probably spooked him.
He's probably hiding like underthe sink or whatever.
Uh so like I'll wait till themorning.
So in the morning I come down,I check all my traps.
And in the meantime, I puttraps elsewhere in the crawl
space, other places, other otherplaces I think he might emerge.

Eric (09:36):
Yeah.

Matt (09:38):
Eric, I come down this this following morning.
Check all my traps.
And one by one, I started withleast likely and uh worked my
way to the bathroom, checkingeach trap, fully expecting when
I open that door, there's gonnabe a dead mouse.
Not only is there no deadmouse, Eric, but those Victor

(10:01):
traps with their little brassthing have been licked clean.

Eric (10:09):
Bro.

Matt (10:09):
He took the peanut butter and failed to set off my fucking
traps.
Bro, this is your Jerry.

Eric (10:18):
So then I'm not this is your Jerry.

Matt (10:20):
I said these fucking Victor things, piece of shit.
Piece of shit, garbage.
Because here's what I likeabout the Tomcats.
They got that little plasticcheese that you can set on the
tiniest of margins with thatlittle spring.

Eric (10:37):
Fucking hair trigger.

Matt (10:38):
A hair trigger.
I'm talking fine margin.
Yeah.
So that's what I do.
I swap them out.
And Eric, while I'm swappingthem out, because I was like, I
guess he can still get in thebathroom.
I look down, and this littlefucker is looking at me.

(10:59):
He's appeared out of nowhereand is just staring at me before
he scampers away.
And I'm like, you fucking sonof a bitch.

Eric (11:08):
And what I'm seeing in my head is like you look down, he's
smoking a little cigarette,like, oh, flicks it away, and
sorry, did not see you there.

Matt (11:17):
Baladie.
Thank you for the snake.
Uh he's definitely French.
And then he went away.
And Eric, that is the liveupdate.
What I've done is I have thebetter traps in there, and now
that it is nightfall, I amhoping he will come out once
again.

(11:37):
I still have that bathroom doorbarricaded.
I still I haven't used it.
I've been held hostage for uh36 hours from my own bathroom
where I have all my toiletriesand shit by a mouse, Eric.
Bro.
And it it's to the and Lindsayis like uncomfortable downstairs
now because she's afraid of themouse.

(11:57):
And I'm trying to be like, forme, I'm like, it's just a mouse,
but now, you know, my wife isuh doesn't want to be in our
living room where we watchtelevision.
Yeah.
Where she relaxes after a hardday.
That that mouse is gonna tearyour family apart.
That mouse is gonna fuckingdie.
Okay, because I said to myself,Lindsay's been teaching all day

(12:20):
today, and I said, I said aloudto the house, I said, listen,
mouse, it's just you and me.
If you show your fucking face,I got all day to clean blood out
of a carpet.
I got all day, motherfucker.
He hasn't come out.

(12:42):
Guess you will have to use yourpaid time off.
Bring me some peanut butter, youson of a bitch! Chunky this
time, you creamy bitch.

(13:12):
It's the podcast that answerslife's least pressing and most
spooky questions.
My name is Matthew Shea.
And I am Eric Poe.
Something about also doing yourown theme music is very funny.

(13:36):
It's the reason for the season,baby.
It's the reason for the season.
It is an episode that isseveral episodes in the making.
Uh we prepared for thisliterally like a month ago.

Eric (13:50):
Started at mid-September, and now we hear.

Matt (13:53):
And now we hear.
And Eric, I am very excited forthis special spook a sode.

Eric (14:00):
Matt Matt Chills.
Absolute chills.
And it's gonna be a realscream.

Matt (14:06):
It'll be a real screamer.
You should be excited too,folks, because not only do we
have some Halloween adjacentquestions, but we've got a very
special closing segment today.
My friends, we are doing aone-off head-to-head Google

(14:26):
gripes of Halloween flick.

Eric (14:32):
I I even have it in my notes as gooley gripes.

Matt (14:35):
Ghoulie gripes.
That's good.

Eric (14:44):
Thank you.
Straight maniacal.
Fucking straight up maniacal.
There, I don't think enoughattention is paid to the craft
of an evil laugh.
Like we make Joe, like there'sthe doctor horrible, like the
Jote Lumu, but like, like whensomeone really nails it, ooh.
Ooh, chills.

Matt (15:02):
Ooh, ooh, the little wet.
Like a Vincent, you got it whenyou get that Vincent Price
laugh.
I can't, I can't even pretendlike I've been.
Yeah, I can't even.

Eric (15:12):
Yeah, at the end of Thriller isn't it?
The thriller laugh, yeah.
Sorry, I've been watching thethe the Bill Hader SNL uh uh
Vincent Price Halloween.
We God, it's so good.

Matt (15:25):
Oh my god.
Bill Hader's Vincent Priceepisodes are so fucking funny.
That's a classic office.
Oh, they're so good.
SNL.

Eric (15:33):
Well, because I was I was telling you before we started
recording, me and Alyssa havebeen like trying to watch spooky
movies as as often as we can.
And usually what we do whenit's a like a scary fucking
movie, we'll we'll have acooldown with we'll just go to
the SNL Halloween skit playliston YouTube.
Yeah.
And just just get some David S.
Pumpkins up in there.
Oh god.
That was the first one wewatched.

(15:54):
Of course it is.

Matt (15:55):
Got to got to watch David Pumpkins.
Listen, this first questioncomes from Zach Deuce on the
Discord.
Zach E D! The corpse for me! Thecorpse?
Oh no, he's dead.
How unfortunate.

Eric (16:14):
This is gonna be the whole episode, folks.

Matt (16:16):
What is excuse me?
What is an acceptable candy taxto implement on your children
post trickle treating?
Eric, did did you and have acandy tax?

Eric (16:35):
Oh, absolutely.
And and and I we've we'vetalked about this before.
How like the the par how how myparents did the the the candy
check, the most rudimentary,just kind of like r phone at it,
rubbing their hands across it.
Oh yeah, this feels all right.
And while my dad's doing that,while my mom is is laying hands

(16:55):
on the candy, my dad's just likeReese cup, Reese cup, Reese
cup.
No, he can't take them all.
He doesn't take them all, hejust took most of them.

Matt (17:05):
There's I I could make a political comment here, but I'll
refrain from it.
Most conservative.
Uh the oops, I did it anyway.
Uh yep.
Yep.

Eric (17:24):
Well, he well, no, Matt, he told me the candy, it would
trickle down.

Matt (17:27):
It would trickle down, yes, from the top.
And you would get rappers.
That's the trickle.
That that's what they that'swhat he didn't tell you.
I also had a little bit of thelaying of the hands, although my
my parents would remove thingsthat seemed skeptical.
Like if anything was open, itwas out of there.

(17:48):
Yeah, if it yeah.
Anything was open, it was outof there.
When I had braces, some of themore sticky stuff they
confiscated for my own good.

Eric (17:59):
So so when it comes to like because we're trying to
establish like a baseline forthat our that our our listeners,
many of whom are parents, manywho um themselves including Zach
Deuce, who did not include whathis candy tax might be.

Matt (18:15):
Well, he he he's got litlands.
Well, he's got one oftrick-or-treat age, I believe.
Stumbling age.
Stumbling age.

Eric (18:23):
Stumbling age.
Yeah.
But uh here it it it varies,right?
When they're when they'relittle, little stumbling, little
pudgy, stumbling little littlebabies who are like who still
are still figuring out motormotor skills and stuff.
Absolutely.
Like at that point, yeah, Imean, most of the candy is going
to you, probably you're pickingout what they can eat.

(18:45):
Um yeah, correct.
And then as they get older,like when like we'll say from
like the age of like six to likeeleven.
Yeah, like the primetrick-or-treat age.
The primo trick or trading age.
Trick-or-trading.
Ooh.
True.
Oh, how open market of you.

Matt (19:07):
I feel the invisible hand upon me.
Good Vincent Price.
Really good Vincent Price,actually.

Eric (19:14):
I learned it from watching Bill Hayter.

Matt (19:16):
Um, yeah, maybe what I mean is good Bill Hader, Vincent
Price.
Maybe that's what I mean.

Eric (19:23):
So what I will say, and I don't know why I'm going to like
TED talk tone with this.
What I will say.
People ask me, but is the candytax is directly proportional.
What we've found, what we'veobserved, is the candy tax.
I'm watching the slides changebehind you, is directly

(19:43):
proportional to the amount oflabor mom and dad put in on the
trick-or-treating outage.
Because at a certain age,you're let off the leash.

Matt (19:53):
Oh, yeah.
That's when trick-or-treatingreally begins.
I find there's yes, I thinkthere are three phases to
trick-or-treating.
Yep.
There is the parentsaccompanying you to the door.
What do we say?

Eric (20:04):
kind of phase.
Yes.
A barely sentient child whereit's mostly the par for the
parents going, hey, look what wemade.

Matt (20:11):
Look what we made.
Look at this.
Give this kid some candy,please.
Then there is the their back,there's a gaggle of parents on
the sidewalk with coffee, quoteunquote.
Yes.
Uh yeah.
There's a gaggle of them backthere watching from a
respectable distance.

Eric (20:33):
As you, as you st as you like walk up to the door.

Matt (20:37):
You walk up to the door and then go to the next house a
good, we'll say 20 paces aheadof the parents.

Eric (20:42):
And just a side etiquette note in these cases, you give
the candy to the kid, and thenthere should be a you look to
the parents acknowledging wave.
Yeah, oh yeah.
A little a little raise of thelet someone over.

Eric and Matt (20:57):
Yeah.
Okay, Abby Halloween, staysafe.
We're here.
Don't worry.
Where?
Okay.
Supervised, they're not gonnarun into your house and turn
your stove on or something.
Oh, okay.

Eric (21:06):
Okay.

Matt (21:06):
Uh and then there is the off the leash.
You're you're a preteen by thispoint, probably.

Eric (21:14):
And uh are all the prime like 10 to 13.
That like that's like yourthat's your that's your prime
time of your Halloween life.

Matt (21:23):
That's the prime time of your Halloween life.
When you suddenly are like, oh,let's see how many houses we
can hit.

Eric (21:29):
Yeah.
Where you can you can yeah, youcan it it be back by a certain
time.

Matt (21:35):
Be back by a certain time.
Which in my head and myrecollection is like, oh,
midnight, the witching hour.
But it's definitely 7 30 p.m.
Yeah, yeah.
It was yeah.
9 45 if we're feeling daring.
My God.
Uh yeah, that's definitely whatit is.
And I would come back and andthen you empty out your stuff on

(21:57):
the table, you get theexamination.
And I would say when we'retalking about the primo ages of
trick-or-treating, yeah.
I don't know.
I I don't know that I can put apercentage on it.
No, I think there is a initialdad's gonna take whatever dad
wants.
Like that's just gonna happen.

Eric (22:18):
Mom never was interested.
Uh uh dad would always justlike, ah, that's mine, and
that's mine.
And I would always go to mymom, like, mom, what do you
want?
Because my mom would neverlike, no, I don't want to like
mom, what do you want?
And she's like, Oh, well, yougot some Twizzlers.
I'll take some Twizzlers.

Matt (22:32):
Oh god, yeah, get them out of there.
Listen, I love a Twizzler, notin Halloween.

Eric (22:36):
It no, it helps if my mom's favorite candies are, and
I say this with nothing butreverence and love for Frannie
May Poach.
Her favorite candies are theworst candies.
And that's good for you.
She loves a Neko wafer.
She loves, she loves a whopper.

Matt (22:54):
A Neko wafer is just a Tums without the benefits.
Yes, yes.
If anything, it'll cause you toneed a Tums.

Eric (23:02):
Yeah.
Might crack a tooth while we'reat it.

Matt (23:04):
At least go to Smarties.
At least.
At least.
I do love a Smarty.
People, I feel like people hateSmarties all of a sudden in
2025.
I don't understand it.
It's just a little disc ofsugar.

Eric (23:15):
A little disc of sugar.
It's like cutting out themiddle.
It's cutting out the bullshit.
You get a little tang.
That's the flavor.
The flavor is tang.

Matt (23:23):
Like tangy.
And then, of course, you know,you get your full sizes.
I think if there's any fullsizes, those are off-limits to
parents.
Oh, have to be.
Off limits to parents.
Have to be.
Like there have to be rules.
You can get them any day of theweek.

Eric (23:38):
Yeah, you could just buy this, Rick.

Matt (23:40):
Yeah.
Oh, oops, sorry.
Uh there names coming into playnow.
Um the the the I I think you'rewithin your rights to take a
Reese's cup, you're within yourrights to take a Twix or a
Snickers or two, but like youcan't be taking all the primos.

Eric (23:59):
No, especially at that age when because when it's like
we're in like the five to ninerange when your parents are
still like, they have to take,like, usually on a work night,
walk your ass around theneighborhood.
Okay, they're entitled to theircut.
They they a little bam bam,thank you, Uncle Sam.
But you can't take the magic.
You can't take the magic.

(24:19):
When you're 10 to 13, I'm doingthe labor.

Matt (24:22):
Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his own two feet
that carried him across cul desac after cul-de-sac?
Of his pillowcase?
Of his sack?
Of his pillowcase andortasteful bag?
Yeah.
Like, there's gotta be rules.

Eric (24:40):
There's got to be rules.
This isn't nom.
No, I've said it before on theshow, and I'll say it again.
You gotta seize the means ofconfection.
You must.

Matt (24:50):
You might you have said it before, and I am sure, beyond
the shadow of a doubt, that youwill say it again.
Oh, most assuredly.
So I think I think it's maybelike a handful.
It's like a handful, like apot, yeah, like because also
listen, we also know this,right?
You know where this candy'sgonna be.
And we know, as as thechildren, we know you're taking

(25:14):
some.
Oh, we know you're skimming offthe top, you son of a bitch.
We know you're sneaking some outof there, you son of a bitch
parents.
We know you think you think wedon't know how things go in this
fucking town.
You don't think how I know abouthow this whole fucking
operation works?
God damn.
I've been around here sevenfucking years.
This is how I talk to myparents, the seven-year-old.

Eric (25:36):
Oh yeah, dad's reaching for dad's reaching for a Hershey
bar.
I'm like, listen to me, youfucking cock a runch.

Matt (25:43):
You reaching for a fucking ass kicking, okay?
You put that hand right backwhere sorry, sorry, uh kidding.

Eric (25:53):
Or I go guy richie, and I'm like I'm throwing a smarties
at him.
I'm like, well, I'll throw adog a bone.
I don't want to hear how ittastes.
Oh my god, yes.
Very good.
Yeah, so like that's it, ityeah, it it I'll also say this
it goes back to the quality ofthe candy.
If you're taking primo shit, ifyou're taking Reese cups, yeah,

(26:15):
you get two or three pieces ofmy candy.
If you're taking like, ifyou're taking the dross, the the
chaff, yeah, you can takefucking.

Matt (26:26):
I don't think, I don't think the kid is upset if you're
taking necko wafer after neckowafer.
No, I don't think so.
No, but like just you know, useyour best judgment.
If you if you're gonna takeneck uh four Neko wafers, you
probably only get one Snickers.

Eric (26:44):
Yeah, also read the room.
Read the room.
Proportions here matter.
Like you can help yourself to aSnickers, you know, a good
amount if I've got if I'mSnickers.

Matt (26:54):
If I've got a Mount Everest size pile of candy,
sure.
But if it's a if it's a leanyear, times are tough.
Dust Bowl.
Hat in hand, hat in hand, andyou come back with just a little
trickle.
If anything, you should beproviding candy from the candy
you had to give out.

Eric (27:16):
Yeah, it it if if I'm out here like the gobstoppers of
wrath, don't don't, yeah, don'tjust read the pile.
Like don't if I have a singleheath bar, don't take that
fucking heath bar.
Don't take the heath bar.
Yeah, you that's true.
You can't take a single ofanything.
No, you gotta, you gotta, yougotta, you gotta be mindful,
dog.
You gotta mind.

(27:36):
You gotta you gotta stepcorrect.
I'm sorry.

Matt (27:38):
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta.
Uh Zach Deuce, I I hope you'relistening and I hope you're
heeding this advice.

Eric (27:45):
We're talking about a world the kids are living in
today where every day is scarierthan Halloween.
Absolutely.

Matt (27:53):
Give them the fucking thing.

Eric (27:54):
Halloween's a Halloween's a respite.
But mom, dad, we get it.
You're working hard.
You're busting ass.
Yeah.
Things ain't going easy for youtoo.
It's hard for everybody outthere.
You deserve to skim off.
Just all we ask is just out.
Look, I'm just gonna part theveil.
You know the attention span ofkids, you know how much candy
you can get away with taking.

(28:14):
Just be wise about it.
Just be wise.
Just make sure, like if you'regonna take the good shit, just
make sure the kid doesn't know.

Matt (28:19):
Just make sure the kid doesn't know.
But also, if you know thatkid's going to sleep and they're
aware that there's two Reese'scups left, you can't take one.
You can't sneak one out.
Something's gotta be sacred.
Something's gotta be fuckingsomething has to be sacred.

Eric (28:35):
Something has to fucking mean something.

Matt (28:37):
And I think that's Reese's cups.
Yeah, yeah.

Eric (28:40):
Reese's cups mean something to a child and to me.
Once again, begging Reese's.
We will we will sh we willshill so fucking hard.

Matt (28:50):
You have no idea Reese's.
Put us in, coach.
Put us in.
Eric, do a commercial forReese's right now.

Eric (28:57):
Do you know what America loves?
Taco Bell.
The same combination of threedifferent ingredients presented
20 different ways.
What if you could have TacoBell every time you walked into
a candy store?
That's Reese's.
You want peanut butter cups?
You want peanut butter cups,cups with little peanut bits in

(29:19):
them?
You want little peanut brittlewrapped in peanut butter and
then covered in chocolate?
You want chocolate on theinside, peanut butter on the
outside?
We fucking got you.
Reese's.
It's the Taco Bell of Candy.

Matt (29:31):
Nice, Eric.

Eric (29:32):
Very good.
Very good.
It truly is like the uh go intoa 7-Eleven, the Reese's section
is just like parasiticallyexpanded over the past 10 years.
It's it's it's half the fuckingrack now.

Matt (29:44):
And I try them all.
Oh, I try them all.

Eric (29:46):
There's like 20 different varieties.

Matt (29:48):
I try whenever a new one pops out, and I don't know what
it is about the pumpkins and theChristmas trees, but the
pumpkins more than the Christmastrees.
The Reese's pumpkins they hit,they hit and listen.
I don't even care that theyonly look like a poo and not at
all a pumpkin.
I don't care about that.
I do not care about that.
I care about that thickness ofpeanut butter they get.

Eric (30:10):
Oh god, it's so good.
Getting rock hard for Reese's.

Matt (30:17):
New ad.
Rock hard for Reese's.
Reese's.
Because fuck you.
Rock hard.
Reese's.
Ah, you ever lick it off anipple?
Anyway, uh, that'll be Reese'snew pumpkin pasties.
Would.
Would.
Would.

Eric (30:37):
In a fucking heartbeat.

Matt (30:38):
Think about it.
Think about it.
Think about it.
Eric, I think we've answeredthe question.
Oh, I think we've answered thequestion.
Shall we move on to our nextand indeed final question before
we get to our special spin-offGoogle Gripes?

Eric (30:53):
This one uh comes from where does this one come from,
Matt?
I'm I'm I'm looking into thecrystal ball, my spooky crystal
ball.
And Semitimai's blank.

Matt (31:03):
Is this is this perhaps does this come from the the uh I
feel like it did come fromsomebody on the Discord, but it
didn't get it written down.
So I don't know.
We're gonna say it came fromthe ether.
Matt.
Who gave us this question?
The question's coming frominside the podcast.
Ooh.

Eric (31:23):
And that question is can you reuse a Halloween costume
for multiple parties in a year?

Matt (31:31):
Sorry, take it again, but as a witch.

Eric (31:34):
Can you reuse a Halloween costume for multiple parties in
a year?

Matt (31:41):
Very good.
Very good.
Anytime.
Anytime.
Uh I like that you had tosomehow get up on your haunches
to come.
You did physically embody awitch.

Eric (31:51):
I did give it myself a hunch.
I even had a little bit of acouple of things.
You became a crone once.
Got to.
Got to.
Uh, but can you reuse aHalloween costume for multiple
parties in a year?
Absolutely.
Depending on the costume.

Matt (32:05):
Depending on the pot costume, depending on the party.
I'd say.
Depending on the party.
If you're going to twocompletely different uh
independent parties that willnot have much, if any, crossover
of party goers, I say go forit.
Go go for it.
I say go for it.

Eric (32:24):
Yeah.

Matt (32:25):
But if you're going to a party that has a lot of the same
people, I think you need adifferent costume.

Eric (32:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or you need to step up thelevel of that costume.
Like you need to showimprovement.
Yes.
Yes, Eric.
Yeah.
Because we were talking aboutwe we we realized a phenomenal
costume for us.
Super good.
Here's the pitch.
Me and Matt as Harry and Marv,the wet bandits from Home Alone.

(32:52):
Later the Sticky Bandits.
Later the Sticky Bandits.
And what we do is we roll up tothe party.
We're in we're in primebeginning of the movie.
Beginning of the Marv.
And then at intervalsthroughout the night, we excuse
our, we like we make we just getaway from the party, do little,
little, little movie magic, andwe just start showing up with

(33:12):
more and more home aloneinjuries.

Matt (33:15):
Yeah, like by the end, my skull cap's been burned off at
the top.
I've got an iron burn in myface.
Eric's got an iron burn allover his face.
All the classics.
And Eric, we didn't talk aboutthis, but maybe the first thing
that happens is like early stageof the party, I loudly knock on

(33:39):
the door.
I'm a cop.
I'm dressed up as the cop, asHarry is at the beginning of the
movie, you know?
When he's casing the joint.
I come, you're not here yet.
And then we show up together.

Eric (33:52):
God, we just we just make a whole bit.

Matt (33:55):
Oh my god.

Eric (33:57):
If we can get if we can get the if at some point we can
get a TV in the other room tostart playing the now, listen,
I'm gonna give you to the kindof 10 to get to get you lazy, no
good.

Matt (34:11):
Something, something keister off my property.

Eric (34:15):
Yep.

Matt (34:15):
Before I pump your guts full of lead.
One, two, ten.
What a great fake movie.
God.
Uh I think it's called Angelswith Filthy Souls.

Eric (34:28):
I think is which is such a good up name for a movie.
I'm gonna do a quick quick.
Yeah, while he's doing that,I'm just gonna remind everyone.
Yep, that old-timey movie thatplays during Home Alone where
the guy's shooting the gun, yadayada, is not a movie that
exists.
They filmed a fake movie to putinside of the movie.
Brilliant.

Matt (34:47):
Yes, it's called Angels with Filthy Souls.
And in Halloween or in uh HomeAlone 2, it is Angels with Even
Filthier Souls.
No, I I forgot it got a sequel.
Oh my god, yes, of course itdid.
Uh incredible.
I because I think the secondone is like Christm somehow more

(35:12):
Christmassy.
Like there's a Christmas tree.
I don't think the first one hasa Christmas tree in it.
I don't know, but God, it'sgood.

Eric (35:19):
Uh but yeah, so overall, like can you reuse costume?
It like read the room.
If if it's gonna be a partanother party with a bunch of
the same people, either step itup, step it up, baby, or do
something different.

Matt (35:34):
Yeah, I think and I think what it's okay if one of the
costumes goes a lot less hard asthe than the other.

Eric (35:43):
Oh, sure.
I because I feel like each yearthere's the party, like if
you're doing multiple Halloweenparties in a year, there's one
you're you're gonna go hard for.
Yes.
And then the rest are kind oflike, all right, what can I what
can I scare together?

Matt (36:00):
Let's be honest.
There's there is a headlinerHalloween party, and that is
where you're bringing your mainthing.
And then there are otherparties that you might quote
unquote stop by.

Eric (36:13):
Yeah, stop by for a bit.
And if I'm if if it's a stop byfor a bit situation, that will
inform the amount of fucks Igive to the costume I wear.

Matt (36:24):
Yeah, yeah.
Like the costume has got to beappropriate for the amount of
time.
Like, you can't show up withlike a super awesome costume to
a party you intend to stay atfor 10 minutes.

Eric (36:37):
Yeah.
The more conspicuous you are,the longer you have to stay.

Matt (36:42):
The longer you have to stay, so you become a focal
point of the party.

Eric (36:46):
Yes, you are you are carrying that party.
You may in some ways make itabout you.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's your party.
You can cry if you want to.
Cry if you want to.
You'd cry too if it happened toyou.
You would, and I have.
Uh do you have any likefavorite costumes you've ever
worn to a party?

Matt (37:06):
Oh, sure.
The just the other year, uh forour good friends of the pod,
Sarah and Chrissa had a uh aparty that uh Lindsay and I went
as Bob Ross in a painting.
Love that.
I was the painting.

Eric (37:20):
Yeah.

Matt (37:21):
Good.
Yep.
Um, so that that was a funcostume.
We have a good we have anothergood couple costume set up for
this year.

Eric (37:30):
You you and Lindsay, your your couple's costume game comes
correct.

Matt (37:36):
Yeah, we have uh one one of our favorites that no one
else seemed to like too much.
We did in college where uhwhere we went as a rubber duck
and a loofah.
And I I thought it was thefunniest thing, but people
didn't get it.
That's the worst.
People didn't get it.
Yeah, no, it sucks.
It always sucks when you dogoing, no, no one gets your

(37:59):
niche costume.

Eric (38:01):
So so this is this is not a costume I've done, but it's a
costume I want to do.
Um, full fun disclosure foranyone who hasn't picked up on
this by now.
Um, I'm polyamorous.
I have a girlfriend, mygirlfriend has a fiance, and we
want to do what?

(38:22):
I know how fucking wild wouldit be if you didn't know that in
the world.

Matt (38:27):
This is how I was actually learning it.
Um, Eric, I I you've neverdirectly brought it up.
So I I also have never directlybrought it up on this show.
And uh well, so then the threeof us only in the gossip
columns.

Eric (38:41):
Three of us live together, and in like they're two, like
like in addition to Alyssa juststraight up being my girlfriend,
the uh like I also just happento live with two of my bestest
friends ever.
Like we're very close, and welike we all have the same
friends, and we we usually whenwe go to parties, we all come
together.
And we've done we've done cute,we've done funny.
Yeah, triumph.

(39:02):
Like one year uh Alyssa wasdressed like a cute cow and Pat
was a was a was a was a cowboyand I was a milkman.
I was gonna say a milkman or amilkmaid?
I should have been milkman, butI had I only had milkman stuff
on hand.
I had a I had I have a big asshat that just says milkman.
Okay, well then you gotta useit.

(39:24):
Um but but Matt, one year, thisis one of those real low to the
ground effort but hilariouspayoff costumes.
We're gonna roll up.
I'm gonna wear a shirt thatsays I'm the fear.
Pat's gonna wear a shirt thatsays I'm the loathing, and
Alyssa's gonna wear a shirt thatsays welcome to Las Vegas.
Nice.

Matt (39:44):
Nice just tell them what the costume is.
Just tell.
Right on the shirt.
Yes, no, that that's good.
That's that's fun.
That is that is good.
I'll tell you off mic what mycostume idea is because this
episode will come out beforeHalloween.
So there's at least oneHalloween party this costume

(40:04):
will arrive at.
And that's I think what I mean.
There's the party you like inin advance know is gonna happen.

Eric (40:12):
You're gonna have to go deep.

Matt (40:13):
And then change to the paint.
Then there's others whereyou're like, hmm, maybe I'll
throw on a hoodie and be theunibomber.
You know, like so.

Eric (40:23):
Oh, I've my my my lowest, my lowest effort costume was uh
the year uh I I grew up in GlenBurney.
And for those of you I'm I'mwhat's a universal town that
sums up Glen Burning, like likeGlen Burney, every every every
city has a Glen Burney.
It's like one of thosesatellite.
New York Staten Island 20minutes away, and every and it's

(40:46):
just known for everyone.
It's just you know, kind oftrashy.

Matt (40:49):
Yeah, it's um it is Staten Island would be like New York's
Glen Burney, I think.

Eric (40:54):
Yeah, yeah.
If you're in if you're in JollyOld Engoland, we're the
Birmingham of of uh Baltimore.
Wow Birmingham.
Uh one year my costume wasbecause this was a party
happening uh like the and I worethis to multiple parties, and
it only made it funnier, infact.
This uh say, depending on thecostume, it can get funnier if

(41:15):
you keep doing it.

Matt (41:15):
Okay, I'm listening.

Eric (41:16):
Um, I was a piece of shit from Glenn Bernie.
So I w I had like a bluemechanic, I gave myself a neck
tattoo, and I and I wore and Ihad like a like a like a big
gaudy cross necklace that I waswearing, and I just kept going
around bumming at cigarettes offof everyone.
And I don't even I had onebehind each ear and still like,

(41:37):
hey, can I get a smoke?
And and you got any cloves?
Yeah.
Yeah, bro.
You got I had a can of monster,uh monster rehab, to be
specific.
Uh and and I would just andwhen I I would keep showing up
to parties with these samewords, and I would keep the
collection of cigarettes going.
God, that's good.

Matt (41:55):
Okay, but see, what you've done is you've made it a bit.

Eric (41:58):
I've established a bit.

Matt (41:59):
You've established a bit, and I think that is good.
If you're gonna reuse acostume, you have to make it
worth my while as a fellow partygoer.
What is your costume doing forme?
What is your costume?
Ask not what your costume cando for you.
Ask what it can do for Matche.
And you the answer should be ateach subsequent party you

(42:22):
encounter me at, I chuckleharder and turn to someone and
say, I saw them at this otherparty.

Eric (42:28):
Oh, we'll grow the legend.
The legend must grow.
Uh uh big shout out, honorablemention to my boy John Bennett.
He he had one of the mostbrilliant costumes I've ever
seen.
This was in the pre-COVIDtimes.
He came to every party as this,and it was always a hit.
He showed up, he was justwearing his normal clothes, and

(42:51):
he had a little, he had a littleuh he had a label maker in his
hands, and he had a little headdoodle that just held up a sign
above his head that just said uhYelp.
And he would go around writingtwo-star Yelp reviews of
everyone's costume and thenprinting it out on the label and
sticking it on their chest.
It was it was really great.

Matt (43:14):
People are out here with some great fucking ideas.
I saw one last year that waslike uh somebody went as ticket,
it was online.
I didn't know this person, butthey went as ticket master, and
they had a bunch of like chooseyour concert uh like things on
it, and when you took one off ofit, it said you are now in a

(43:34):
queue.
Uh like I think any the moreoff the wall for adult Halloween
costumes, the more I think it'svery funny.

Eric (43:47):
As I get older, the deeper of the cut I want the costume
to be.

Matt (43:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I I really, really love a deepcut.
A hundred percent andabsolutely I want to say that.

Eric (43:59):
And I did.
Good.
I saw one girl uh one one yearat a party.
This was went as the if youremember this, the ruined fresco
of the Virgin Mary, the the onethat that lady like tried to
restore on her.
She tried to restore, came asthe fucked up.
Wow.

Matt (44:19):
That is so hyper specific.

Eric (44:22):
It's the bet that's that's the shit I live for.

Matt (44:26):
Yeah, but but if you're gonna do that, like if you're
gonna go as the fucking micefrom the quiznos commercial, you
have I it has to beunmistakable, you know.
You can't find you have to youhave to go all in.
It it has to be, it has to makeeveryone go, oh my god.
Like Yep.

Eric (44:46):
Wow, you have to give it, you you gotta take it to the
paint, you gotta give it ahundred topics.

Matt (44:50):
Also, Eric, we should go as the mice from that quiznos
commercial.

Eric (44:53):
We should go as the the because we can do the voice.

Matt (45:00):
They are good to us.
Oh my god.
Uh most unhinged corporatecommercial of all.

Eric (45:07):
I feel like one day we're like in the in in in the
post-apocalypt ruins, we'regonna be describing the
commercials we had as a kid askids to to the new generation of
mutants, and they're just gonnabe like, What the fuck are you
talking about?
Like trying to describe berriesand cream boy to to anyone.
Eric.
We're gonna sound insane.

Matt (45:26):
Let me say this.
They say tomorrow's gonna behotter.

Eric (45:30):
Oh good.
Wait.

Matt (45:34):
I thought you'd pick up the pick up the ball.

Eric (45:37):
Oh no, no, no.
I thought you I got you.
Sorry, Ed.

Matt (45:40):
The ball is rolling down the street toward old man
Peabody's house.

Eric (45:44):
I'll I'll call tomorrow.

Matt (45:46):
You'll call now.

Eric (45:47):
I'll call now.
There you go.
Oh man.
If someone showed up as theScardina opera lady, no.

Matt (45:57):
One of my favorite commercials of all time is Hey
Dad, it's Bob, we had a baby,it's a boy.

Eric (46:03):
Oh yeah.

Matt (46:04):
Do you accept the charges?
No.
It was Bob.
I had a baby.

Eric (46:08):
It's a boy.
It's a boy.
Uh uh uh to tack on to the lastthing, like in talking about
like the more specific thecostume, like the deeper the
cut, the the harder you have togo in the effort.
The inverse is also true.
Where the more famous thething, the shittier you do it,
the funnier it becomes.

(46:29):
I'm I'm talking like you'reyour incredible Hulk where a guy
just is like But that is thatis not just famous, that is like
a famous Halloween costume.
Yes.

Matt (46:41):
Like like so now that you're doing low budget Milky
Whites of Halloween costumes,yes.
But if you're going as likeCharlie Chaplin and you low
budget it, it's just gonna lookawkward.

Eric (46:54):
And that's the the place you do not want to be.

Matt (46:57):
No, and not with that costume.
No, you you want zeroconfusion.
If you're going as the tramp,you want zero confusion.
Oh, yeah.
You can't.
You get there's a needle to bethreatened.
You don't ever want to be stuckgoing, no, no, no, no, it's not
that mustache.
You don't want that.
Do not lose your hat.

(47:17):
Do not lose the hat.
Lose the hat.
The hat cannot go away.
Hat stays on.
Oh my god.
I do love the little tramp.

Eric (47:29):
Uh is so so to answer your question, you can asterisks
even we don't know.
You can, but there are rules.
There are rules here.

Matt (47:42):
And I think we've laid them out well.

Eric (47:44):
And that's why we're here.
We we say the quiet parts outloud so you don't have to think
about them.

Matt (47:48):
We say the quiet parts out loud and we say the loud parts
quietly.

Eric (47:53):
So and and folks, in the spirit of Halloween, and you
know, please call the thoughtline today.
Tell us the most upsettingcostume you've ever seen someone
show up into a party in.
Tell us the most embarrassingcostume you've seen someone in.
Tell us.
Tell us your Halloween tax thatyour parents imposed.
Tell us the Halloween tax thatyou, if you're brave, tell us
the tax you're imposing on yourchildren this year.
Tell us, tell us what you took.

(48:14):
We won't tell.

Matt (48:16):
Tell us what you took, and we will judge you on air.
And that is.

Eric (48:20):
But we'll never tell you, kid.

Matt (48:22):
But we won't tell you, kid.
Unless you're you didn't askfor this.

Eric (48:26):
We'll never mention this to you kids.

Matt (48:29):
We won't tell you children shit about four.
For a price.
Send us a Ruby Cup.
And that price is one dollar amonth for the Discord.

Eric (48:40):
Oh good tangent.
Yeah, one dollar a month to thePatreon.
Get access to the Discord.

Matt (48:46):
Four dollars a month for oops, all tangents.
Monthly bonus episode.
But right now, you get bonuscontent in the form of Google
gripes outside of a season.
It's a standalone baby.
It's a special.
Ghoulish gripes.
Ghoulish gripes.
I like that, Eric.

(49:07):
And listen, you should know thedeal by now.
Google Gripes is a little gamewe play where we read real
one-star Google reviews of, atfirst it was well-known places,
then it was well-known films.
And now, just today, it's gonnabe Halloween movies.
That is all Eric and I set fora definition.

(49:27):
We didn't specifically sayscary movies, we didn't say
horror movies, we said Halloweenmovies.
Yes.
We have three each.
And unlike the regular Googlegripes, where one of us goes an
episode and we alternate, we'reboth going.
We're both doing this.
So, Eric, would you like to gofirst?
Oh, I'd love to.

(49:48):
Oh my god.

Eric (49:50):
Matthew movie one.
Movie one review one.
Review one.
It scared me when I watched itat the age 18, and I am now 50,
and I may never watch it again.
Made me very paranoid, and Ikept looking under my bed and
not able to sleep well becauseof it.
But the blank was cute atfirst, but when it turned evil,
that was it for me.

Matt (50:12):
Okay, I have a pretty solid first guess, but I won't
reveal my secrets just yet.

Eric (50:18):
Review number two.
Unfortunately, this is theworst film I've ever seen.
I liked the concept of therobot blank, but the film itself
is so slow, the scariest thingin this film is the blank.
It's self-sized like a toddlerwith a 40-year-old man face.

Matt (50:33):
Oh, interesting.
Okay.
That might change my firstguess.

Eric (50:37):
Review number three.
I feel sorry that little boyhave to leave, but I know he is
normally person, but beingfriendly with blank is not right
for you.
He is badly person.
You shouldn't able to listen tohim.
He made you terrible andterriers and cuss and don't like
that.
If you have a problem, youshould tell your parents, and
they will fix your problem andcreating an effort.

Matt (51:01):
Hmm.
Hmm.
I say.
I say it again.
Yeah.
Okay, I have two guesses that Iwrote down.
The robot is throwing me.
The robot mention is throwingme.
I think.
Okay.
The first guess I wrote downwas Gremlins.
Ooh.
And I'm gonna I'm gonnabackburner Gremlins.

(51:23):
I don't think it's Gremlins.
I think it could be.
I think it's Leprechaun.

Eric (51:29):
Oh.

Matt (51:30):
I am gonna go all in on Leprechaun.
I'm saying the movie you'vechosen is Leprechaun.

Eric (51:36):
Matt, it is not Leprechaun.
But I can absolutely fuckingsee that.
You can see the connectivetissue.
The movie, Matt, pour one outfor Brad Doriff.
It's child's play.
Oh, of course it's child'splay.
Of course it is.
It's child.
The robot that's why I pickedthe one that was like, I was

(51:56):
like, referring to it as a robotis funny.

Matt (52:01):
That threw me.
That definitely threw me.
Threw me.

Eric (52:03):
Um because it the challenge I found with so many
of these reviews is like, holyshit, it is so hard to not find
reviews that just blatantlyspell it.

Matt (52:13):
Give it away.

Eric (52:14):
Just give it the fuck away.
So yeah, it was child play.

Matt (52:16):
I uh all right.
So I'm oh for one.
Are you ready for your firstfilm?
Oh, I'm ready, baby.
This is an exciting methodologyof Google Gripe.
This is good.
I was sitting around with myniece last night after everyone
went to bed.
And as we scrolled throughHBO's on-demand options, I

(52:37):
realized I never saw a blankmovie.
Ninety minutes later, I came toanother realization that my
life was just fine living inignorance.
I don't recall seeing anotherhorror movie in which it felt
like the filmmakers made aconscious effort not to be

(52:58):
scary.
The teenagers look AARPeligible, the acting is reliably
awful, the scenes are soblatantly stolen from Halloween
and Carrie that copyrightinfringement suits would have
been understandable.
What's even worse is that thereisn't that fun aspect of bad

(53:18):
cinema.
It's bad without the enjoymentof its absurdity.
I fell over backwards to see a66% critic approval on Rotten
Tomatoes.
I guess nostalgia is a strongerforce of nature than I
realized.
Even the cheap Halloweenknockoffs like prom night feels

(53:41):
superior to this.
It's amazing something sostinky could launch a whole
franchise.
Just another aspect of thiscrazy world that I can't
understand.

Eric (53:56):
This review is wild for so many reasons.
First of all, the firstsentence of it sounds like a
shitty opening to a monster mashcover.
Yes.

Matt (54:05):
I was sitting around on my couch one night.
I was trying to put a littlebit of that sauce on it.

Eric (54:11):
But it ended with fear and loathing in Las Vegas vibes.
It ended Hunter S.
Thompson.
Yes.
So we got franchise, we gotshitty teen acting where we're
back in the good old days whenall the teenagers were played by
like 35-year-olds.
Sounds like, okay, hit me withthe next one.

Matt (54:27):
Well, I finally watched the iconic blank.
Okay.
I literally just wasted onehour and 30 minutes of my
freaking time.
The acting is so bad, theyliterally just stand there and
accept their fate.
There's no real acting.
The screams are unrealistic.
They just stand there and go,ah, the plot is all over the

(54:50):
place.
It's so boring.
There's nothing to it.
You don't even get a realexplanation until the last 20
minutes, and basically the restof the movie is the blonde just
fighting and falling all overthe place with character until
she finally decides to end it.
This was so, so, so boring.
Nothing about this movie isiconic.

(55:10):
I don't even know if I shouldwatch the second one because of
how bad it was.
Every character in this moviewas so dumb they gave all they
all gave airhead.
It's like they didn't even havehalf a brain cell.
No character development, justairheaded characters.
The dialogue is very bland,like this movie was so bad.

(55:32):
OMG, I can't believe I wastedmy time watching this.
At least Child's play isstupid, but at least it's funny.
It's actually worth watching.
This was the worst horror movieI've ever watched.

Eric (55:47):
Very good intonation.
I think you captured this guyperfectly.
Thank you.
Uh damn, this is I I it's notthat I I don't have an a clue.
It's like you just so far,going off of what I have or what
I'm picking up on, we're stillin like the dozens of different
franchises this could be.

Matt (56:05):
You ready for your final review?

Eric (56:07):
Yes, I think this is where we clinch it.
Ass garbage.

Matt (56:11):
Boring.
Acting is terrible.
Old head film, booty cheeks,ass buns.
I fucking hate this.
Everyone who disagrees can keepthemselves safe.

Eric (56:25):
Okay.

Matt (56:26):
All right.
Okay, again, it's been a month.
I forgot this ended with athreat.

Eric (56:34):
The hallmark of a truly great one-star review.
I forgot it ended with thepromise of violence.
So I got, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'mgoing into my mind palace.
We've got you better go.
You better go deep.
Shitty teen acting.
Sounds like a blonde, uh, uh,blonde survivor girl uh with uh

(56:55):
sounds like a companion runningaround bad scream acting.
It's apparently a cult fuckingclatley.
It is a it is a it sounds likeone of the Mount Rushmores of
horror films.
I'm I I am gonna go.
I I'm I'm just gonna I'm gonnago with my first impulse.

(57:18):
Okay.
I'm gonna say Friday the 13th.
And you take a one movie lead,Eric.
It is Friday the 13th.
It was a fucking coin flipbetween Friday the 13th and and
Nightmare on Elm Street.
But I rem but the maincharacter was Nightmare on Elm
Street.

Matt (57:34):
And that was what I was hoping you'd be baited by.

Eric (57:37):
The only thing I can remember is that the main
character from Nightmare on ElmStreet is not blonde.

Matt (57:42):
That's correct.
That is correct.
I can't even remember her name.
Lori?

Eric (57:46):
I or something.
I don't know.
It's been a hot minute.
Yeah.

Matt (57:50):
I'm gonna be actually might never have seen Nightmare
on Elm Street the whole waythrough.
Oh, it's fucking good.
I should see it.
I haven't seen, I've only seenthe I've only seen the original
Friday the 13th.
I've never actually seen one ofthe Jason Friday of the 13th.

Eric (58:04):
Oh man, you haven't seen you haven't seen Jason X where
he's in space?
No, I haven't seen any of it.
Oh it's fucking wild.
All right, I think that's roundtwo.
You're up one nil.
All right, movie two, reviewnumber one.
I would give this movie zerostars if I could.

Matt (58:21):
I couldn't have.
How many of we how many ofthese reviews?
Sorry to interrupt you, havestarted with that exact
sentence.

Eric (58:27):
We just gotta start saying and also with you.
Um, I would give this moviezero stars if I could.
I couldn't even watch the wholemovie.
I was expecting a good classichorror film with some funny
parts.
I love the old blank movies.
I've never seen the blankmovies, though.
If they have a lot of nudity, Iwill never watch them.

(58:50):
All I saw were naked women.
I was extremely disappointed tosee this movie ruined by
nudity.
What was the point of puttingthat crap in a movie?
Nudity ruins movies.

Eric and Matt (59:01):
And I'm gonna go on record as saying no, it
doesn't.
No, it doesn't.
No.

Eric (59:06):
No.

Eric and Matt (59:06):
It's like salt in a dish.

Eric (59:09):
A little sprinkle of tasteful side boob.

Matt (59:11):
A little tasteful side boob, maybe full front.
Little little dong from theback?
A little dong from the back.
No one's ever hey, no one'sbeen upset with a little couple
of butts.

Eric (59:22):
No.
A couple of butts walkingaround?

Matt (59:24):
Love a butt.
Come on.

Eric (59:26):
Make sure you appreciate what you have before it's
butchered.
Show me your butt.
Show me your butt.
Show me your butt.
Show me your dong.
Um, review number two.
All that to say, nudity ruinsmovies.
Um I think we've got an episodetitled.

(59:46):
Quite possible.
Review number two.
This movie is simply anembarrassment to the horror
movie genre.
The storyline is ridiculous,and I'm not even gonna talk
about the plot holes.
The naive Protagonist story isoverdone and plain boring.
All the characters areunlikable and impossible to
sympathize with, unlike theiroriginal franchises, which at

(01:00:10):
least had some form of characterdevelopment.
The cash-grabbing female nudityreminded me of American Pie,
which only 2013 Shane Dawson'sfans would enjoy.
Got 'em! So I guess watch themovie if you want to suffer
smiley face.

Matt (01:00:27):
Okay.
Okay.
Individual franchises.
Alright.

Eric (01:00:33):
Review number three.
It's not good.
CGI is embarrassing.
Confusing plot holes and actingof main characters are bad and
cringe worthy.
The only good part is famoushorror actor's portrayal of
Blank.
Everything else I could dowithout it.

(01:00:53):
Huh.
And furthermore, nudity ruinsmovies.

Matt (01:00:59):
For as we know.
As we know.
Okay.
So what I'm hearing is there isa cameo appearance by a famous
horror movie icon of some kind,possibly more than a cameo.
I'm hearing multiple franchisesare represented, which
underlines my first guess.

(01:01:21):
I think I'm gonna go with it.
I think it's risky because I donot consider it a horror movie.
Because it's not really ahorror movie, it's a comedy.
I was trying to judge his face,folks.
I was trying to judge if he'dgive anything away.
Stone.
Okay, I'll be honest with you.
I've written down two guesses.

Eric (01:01:42):
Okay.

Matt (01:01:42):
First guess was scary movie.
Okay.
And the second guess wasSharknado.
Okay.
And I'm gonna say scary movie.
I'm going with it.
It's my final answer.
Yes.

Eric (01:01:53):
Matthew, it was not scary.

Matt (01:01:56):
I had a feeling I was wrong.

Eric (01:01:58):
Better not have been Sharknado, though.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It was Freddie versus Jason.
Interesting.

Matt (01:02:07):
Interesting.
Okay.
Okay.
Yep.

Eric (01:02:10):
Yep.
Robert England being the famoushorror actor as portrayal for
the Kruger.
Of course.

Matt (01:02:16):
And I I thought about that, but I thought, I actually
thought, is he in Scary Movie asa cat?
Oh, yeah.
I was like, is there a cameo bysomeone like that that I'm not
remembering?
And that's what I decided to gowith.

Eric (01:02:29):
Do you know what movie he does make a cameo in?
It's Behind the Mask, The Riseof Leslie Vernon.
Yes.
We were just talking about DocHalloran.
God, what a good whicheveryone, speaking of movies,
good horror movies, stop.
The greatest Halloween moviegem that most of you have
probably never heard of.
Because every time I asksomeone, they've never knew this

(01:02:51):
movie existed.
So good.

It's called Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. (01:02:52):
undefined
That is all the context youneed.
Go watch it immediately.
Go watch it immediately.

Matt (01:03:01):
It's time for your second movie, Eric.
All right.
I wouldn't usually write a badreview for such a well-loved
movie, but by far this might beone of the worst movies I've
watched.
Watched it for the first timeyesterday, and I was about five
minutes in and I was ready toturn it off.
But I thought I'd at leastwatch the whole movie to give it

(01:03:24):
a chance.
Bore the whole movie to give ita chance.
Boring plot line with a boringcast and the most annoying
little sister one could everget.
The only redeeming thing aboutthis movie is that it's Disney,
so you know at least they didn'tjust make this for the money
grab.
They made it with the intentionof trying, keyword trying, to

(01:03:48):
make a good film.
Overall, just avoid this,because the only people who seem
to like this don't seem to knowabout actually good Halloween
movies.
Okay.
This movie is honestly verybad.
I feel like all the charactersare blind here.
The main character didn'tnotice the people behind the

(01:04:10):
tombstones.
The sister didn't realize shewas crying in the flower bed of
a mansion that just so happenedto be the main character's love
interest.
The jokes in this are reallybad, and the witches are just
cringe.
They also constantly said themain character is a virgin,
which doesn't make sense as tohow this whole thing works.
They had a good movie idea, buta really bad execution.

(01:04:33):
I don't understand how so manypeople like it.
Okay.

Eric (01:04:37):
Okay.

Matt (01:04:38):
Third review.
I hated this movie.
The characters scared me, and Iwas just I was just a child.
Do not, do not let yourchildren watch this movie.

(01:05:01):
The trauma it causes will carryinto their adulthood.
I can't go out on Halloween forthe fear of seeing someone
dressed up as one of thesehorrid beings.
Sometimes I hear their laughterwhile lying in bed, and then I
can't sleep.

(01:05:21):
End of review.
Matt.
Eric.
I feel like you're about to winit.
I feel like you're gonna win itbefore we even get to the next
review.

Eric (01:05:30):
There's something you need to understand about me.
Ah, Christ.
I date Alyssa, whose favoriteHalloween movie of all time.
And it's a good one, is HocusPocus.
Oh, okay.
Now, what I fear here is thatyou know this and have

(01:05:55):
red-herringed me into a HocusPocus.
Is this a good one?
I feel like you want me to sayHocus Pocus.

Matt (01:06:03):
Well, think about it.
Is there alternatives to HocusPocus?
Oh fuck, there are.

Eric (01:06:11):
Or is this a mind game that you're playing because you
in a panic?
You're just trying to throw mefor a loop.
Do I look panicked?
Matt, do I sound panicked?
Matt, we both have degrees inacting.
Don't even look at me rightnow.
I wouldn't want to.
Fuck.

(01:06:31):
What what really fucking got mewas just the review that
started with.
Because assuming this personwanted to watch a spooky movie
since I hated this movie.
The characters scared me.
Yes.

Matt (01:06:43):
I do love that.
I do love the idea of turningon a scary movie and then being
upset that you were scared.

Eric (01:06:50):
Oh, this is fucked.
This is fucked.
This is oh man.

Matt (01:06:54):
I mean, a possibly scary movie.
Possibly scary.

Eric (01:06:56):
No, because I'm trying to remember, I was like, wait, I
was like, was there a littlegirl crying in a flower bush?
There was a wealthy loveinterest in Hocus Pocus.
There were witches with laughs.
There were kids hiding behindgravestones.
God can't.
Oh, you clever son of a bitch.

Matt (01:07:15):
Who me?

Eric (01:07:17):
I will never forgive myself if I guess something else
and it and it isn't Hocus Pocusand Norl is.
So I I'm doing this for mygirlfriend.
I'm doing this for mygirlfriend who I love.
I I have to say Hocus Pocus.
Final answer.
Yeah, it's Hocus.
Bet Midler can get it.
It is Hocus Pocus?
Yeah.
Bet Midler can get it.

(01:07:37):
Bet Midler can get it.

Matt (01:07:39):
Honestly, it is fine.

Eric (01:07:42):
Fine, Matthew.
I'm gonna come in with my hottake.
It's fine.
Matt, get it out now and prayshe never listens to this
episode.
It's fine.
It's fine.
And the second one was dogshit.
Oh, the second one.
I think we can agree the secondone was dog shit.
This is a house of learnedscholars.
The second one was dog shit fanservice of the worst kind.
Yes.
Um agreed.
Agreed.
Yeah.
No, it was it was absolutelylike they couldn't, they could,

(01:08:04):
they couldn't, they couldn'tpull Doug Jones to get him back
as Billy, Billy Bush.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, like that's when you knowyou fucked up.
When you can't get Doug Jones.
When you can't get Doug Jones,Doug Jones will do anything.
He'll do anything.
He did hocus pocus.

Matt (01:08:17):
Now, Eric, uh you've obviously won.
You're already up two.
I'm I'm I got nothing.
Hopefully I can get your lastone, which I guess is your
hardest.
The rest, as they say, is candytax.
Yeah, all right.
So you've already won.
I've already won.
Just for fun.
This is for fun fucking fun.
See if I know anything.

Eric (01:08:36):
Fun, dumb fucking holiday.
I'll do the last one.
Fine.
Happy fucking Halloween.
Fuck it.
We'll do it live.
We'll do it live.
Review number one.
Thank you.
I spent about an hour and ahalf sitting around in my living
room on Halloween waiting forsomething, anything, to happen.
Just when I thought it wascoming to the big climax at the

(01:08:59):
end in the house, nothinghappens.
Big surprise.
This movie is a complete wasteof time.
There is nothing scary about itunless you find filming shots
of the blank or watchingswearing teens or listening to a
high-pitched, annoying girlvoice.
That was pretty scary.
Watching film from inside ablank with cheap sound effects

(01:09:24):
playing outside.
Or then you should skip thismovie.
What a sentence.
If I was out in the middle ofthe blank, I too would decide to
throw away my only way offinding my way around.
My map.
This movie had a weak, if any,plot.
This movie was one of thebiggest letdowns I have ever

(01:09:45):
seen, and I've seen Batman andRobin.
And also, first of all, fuckyou.
Fuck you.
You can go fuck.

Matt (01:09:54):
You can go fuck.
Kick some ice.
What killed the dinosaurs?
The ice age.
We can't do another episode soclose to the last one where we
just quoted Batman and Robin.

Eric (01:10:08):
One day we're just gonna have to bite the bullet do a
whole episode about Batman andRobin.

Matt (01:10:11):
Sounds like Oops Alta engines to me.

Eric (01:10:14):
Could we, Matt Idea?
Could we, would we ever be ableto pull the card where we get
John Glover on the fucking, on afucking like, John, can we
interview you about your role inBatman and Robin?

Matt (01:10:28):
I mean, I can send him a message, I guess.

Eric (01:10:30):
He'll listen to you.
He'll listen to you.
He's reasonable.
He might.
It would be so fucking good.
I would die.
I would, I would, I would it.
Okay.
Review number two.
Was watching this late into thenight after everyone went to
bed.
They say it's so good.
I figured I didn't want to borethe fam in case it was one of

(01:10:53):
those deep movies that youreally enjoy on your own.
I tried.
I really did.
At the end of the day, this isthe biggest waste of time there
is.
It is so uninteresting from theactors to the plot to the scary
scenes.
What a shame.
I hope the creators of thiscontent quit and moved on to
something drastically different,like cooking burritos or

(01:11:15):
ballet.
Uh-oh, that feels bad.
Any I know that feels like itcould be very problematic.
Anything far away from makinghorror sorry, anything far away
from making horror moviesbecause they are almost the
worst movie makers in thehistory of mankind.

(01:11:37):
It is interesting, moviemakers.
It ends on this.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Despicable bland failures.
Wow.
Review number three.
What in the shit was that?
My sweet Jesus.
My friend and I watched thisthinking it would be one of the

(01:11:59):
best produced 90s horror filmsfrom the Delulu reviews online,
but the way this firing hunk ofirritating garbage enraged us
from the Paris Gellerpersonified character and the
snail slow burn plot made uswant to throw our bottle of wine
through the TV.
And that's the thing.
We were wine drunk.

(01:12:20):
Like my god, anything is goodwhen wine drunk, but not this
shit.
I mean, that's kind of true.
These are some of the mostsavage reviews I've ever read.

Matt (01:12:29):
Yeah, really.
Oh, that's it.
That's everything.

Eric (01:12:35):
That's everything.
Hmm.

Matt (01:12:36):
I am at a complete loss for this one.

Eric (01:12:39):
Really?

Matt (01:12:41):
Uh maybe I'm just not maybe I'm deluded by my previous
failures.
You're in the circle in thedrain.
Yeah, the Paris Geller thinghas thrown me a little bit.
Because that makes me thinkjust like look-alike type thing
of like a of like a terror read.
But I don't think that's gonnabe it.

(01:13:01):
I think I wanna say scream.
No, I don't think I do.
Because the per first personwas like, oh, it might be one of
them intellectual movies.
Um I mean the the the the thethe the the the map is

(01:13:24):
interesting.
There's definitely some thesome clues in here, and I'm
coming up empty.
I'm all over the map, and I'mgonna say I don't think it's
right at all.
I'm gonna say House of aThousand Corpses.

Eric (01:13:39):
Love House of a Thousand Corpses.
Yeah, so it's not right.
It is not House of a ThousandCorpses.
No, it was filmed in Maryland.
It is the Blair Witch project.

Matt (01:13:51):
Oh my god.
Okay, I can see it.
I can see it.
Shit.
Wow.
O for three, Matt Wen.
You gotta rock.
I gotta rock, and you could geta sweep.

Eric (01:14:06):
I could get a sweep.

Matt (01:14:07):
All right, Eric.
Here you go.
Let's see if you can do it.
Let's see if we can do it.
Because there's no tensionhere.
No dramatic consequence.
Do I get the turkey?
It's just whether or not you gofor the hat trick.
Are you ready for your firstreview?
I'm ready.
Alright.
The movie, it was good beforethey go to Mexico.

Eric (01:14:32):
Is that the entire second review?

Matt (01:14:36):
This movie's stupid.
Anybody on here that is sayingit's a masterpiece or it's
splendid is wrong.
The movie starts really good.
Halfway through the movie, I'mall for it.
You have Actor one and ActorTwo who are brothers.
The beginning starts out likean actor two movie.

(01:14:56):
Actually, if you would havehanded this movie to Actor Two
and said, hey, make the scriptgood, we probably would have
gotten a great movie.
But in my opinion, we got amediocre vampire movie.
Yeah, this movie is aboutvampires for some reason.
It started off with these twofucking people, with actor one

(01:15:19):
being a hot-headed thief, andactor two being a pervert,
pedophile, creep rapist.
Overall, a good concept.
Something that blank would haveprobably come up with himself.
But no, we get vampires.
Review number three.

(01:15:40):
Worst movie, only good scene isthe dancers.
End of review.
From Dust Till Dawn.
Wow, Eric, really good.
It's from Dust Till Dawn.
Yeah.
And my favorite part about thisis them saying if actor two
wrote the movie, actor two isQuentin.
Actor two is Quentin Tarantino,and Quentin Tarantino did write

(01:16:01):
the movie.

Eric (01:16:01):
And directed, or was it Robert Rodriguez?

Matt (01:16:04):
Robert Rodriguez directed it, but Quentin Tarantino wrote
it.

Eric (01:16:06):
Yeah.
Sorry, you know, you knowTarantino wrote it because
there's a scene where uh What'sHer Face sticks her foot in his
mouth.

Matt (01:16:12):
Selma Hayek.
Yes.
Which and he does a shot off ofher bare foot in his mouth.
And uh yeah, that's a Tarantinowrote the movie.
My favorite scene in the wholemovie, though, is very in the in
the first act, Tarantino getsshot in the hand and he's just
looking at George Clooney, alsoknown as actor one, through the

(01:16:33):
hole in his hand.
When Clooney's like, Are youokay?
And he just looks through thisterrible CGI hole in his hand.
God, it's a good movie.
It's a good, it's bad.
It's a it's good.

Eric (01:16:43):
It's a what it's such a it's it's such a Tarantino
Robert Rodriguez movie.
Oh, uh in the best possibleway.
This had to walk, so death racecould or not death race, so um
um deathproof.
Deathproof and planet terrorcould could run.

Matt (01:17:00):
Yeah, grindhouse is how that was released as this double
feature.

Eric (01:17:04):
Yes.

Matt (01:17:05):
Uh yeah, from Dusk till Dawn.
And wow, Eric, no drama even inthe guests.
You just completely mopped thefloor with me in our first ever
themed Google gripes.
I am, and I don't mind sayingthis, embarrassed.
I am, I am embarrassed.

(01:17:28):
I feel bad.
I feel bad.
I feel let down, and I feel letdown by me.
Now, we had talked about thispreviously, and I'll let the cat

(01:17:49):
out of the bag if you haven'tfigured it out yet.
We were also planning on doinga Christmas Google Gripes
episode.
And when we do, I'm gonna haveto come hard.

Eric (01:18:01):
You're gonna have to go scorch fucking now, and to your
credit, I I will say that I Inot so much in in in later
years, I was obsessed with scarymovies most of my childhood.

Matt (01:18:14):
I w I was too.
You know, like I've we'vetalked about this before.
Lindsay doesn't like horrormovies, and so in the last 15
years, my horror movie intakehas plummeted.

Eric (01:18:25):
Yeah, yes, say uh yes, that's why that's why I'm trying
to like rekindle it with thisthis month of spooky movies.
Say I feel like you're gonnawipe the floor with me on
Christmas.

Matt (01:18:34):
I might.
It might be a reversal offortunes.
I'm gonna, and Eric, I don'tmind telling you, I'm going for
that.
Yeah, you've you've earned it.
You you can I earned it becausethis was a fucking joke.
I guess you could say it waschild's play.
Oh my god.
Oh, I hate him.
I hate him.

Eric (01:18:54):
I hate him, folks.
Look, this doesn't have to beme versus you, Freddie.

Matt (01:19:00):
Yeah, it does.
That's actually the definitionof the game.

Eric (01:19:02):
Okay.

Matt (01:19:03):
We're the only two people here.

Eric (01:19:05):
Yeah, no, you're right.

Matt (01:19:06):
It's a competition, and I won very hard.
And you won very hard.

Eric (01:19:10):
So hard.

Matt (01:19:11):
You won so hard, and it no even, and again, didn't even
hesitate with from Dusk tillDawn.

Eric (01:19:18):
The second you said uh Matt, as soon as I realized the
entire first review was it wasbetter before it got to Mexico,
I was like, Oh, I wonder if it'sfrom Dusk till Dawn.
I can't believe that's whatgave it away.
Well, no, that's when I was awondering, and then as soon as I
heard there were two brothers,like Dust Till Dawn.

Matt (01:19:38):
Yeah, I thought that if I thought if you've seen Dusk till
Dawn from Dusk till Dawn, thesecond review will probably give
it away.
But the oh, and the the reasonI got um flubbed in the middle
and I was like, these fuckingguys is because I forgot I
forgot to blank out a Tarantinoand I panicked.

Eric (01:19:57):
I have done that to myself for Google Gripes so many
times.
I I now have I reread all of myreviews.
I thought I caught them.

Matt (01:20:05):
I thought I caught them all.

Eric (01:20:06):
Also, I'm just gonna say it for for my my fellow my
fellow millennials, andhonestly, anyone who saw Dustil
Dawn when they were a kid, whichprobably shouldn't have, but
you know, if Selma Hayek thevampire version wasn't a sexual
awakening for you, I don't knowwhat is.
Oh my god.

Matt (01:20:24):
Listen, you can say what you want about Tarantino and his
well, well publicized footfetish.

Eric (01:20:31):
Well established, well documented.

Matt (01:20:34):
If Selma Hayek's gonna put her little tozies in my mouth,
I'm not saying no.

Eric (01:20:38):
No, no.
We should be so lucky, weshould be so fake and we should
like.
I I mean, like, come on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And this this it's it'sstepping time, as Eric put not
too long ago.
From Dust Baton, it's steppingtime.
Dust baton it's stepping time.
Stepping time, stepping time.

Matt (01:21:00):
Uh step on my face, Alma Hayek.
Listen.
We should be so lucky.
We can need your questions.
They don't have to be Halloweenthemed.
If you want, this would be agood time to give us some
Thanksgiving themed.
That might time out well if youso desire.
Uh, or they can be about, andthis is true, fucking anything.

(01:21:20):
Really anything on earth.
And uh listen, we already kindof did it, so I'll do it a
little bit again.
Patreon.com slash you didn'task for this.
One dollar a month, you getaccess to the Discord community
of your daft, where it ispopping off all the time.

Eric (01:21:39):
Where we will have a Selma Hayek Discord channel dedicated
solely.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Matt (01:21:46):
Keep it to the Orgy Dome.
Yes, keep it to the Orgy Dome.
And four dollars a month getsyou access to uh our legendary
spin-off series, oops alltangents, now in its second
year.
So there are 13 of those badboys already out and about.
So go listen to them.
And I this is true today.
Uh, it also gets you 20% offall merch in the adapt merch

(01:22:09):
store.
We are gonna hopefully havesome new merch before too long,
and that's all I can say aboutthat because the website
redesign has been long delayed.
That's on me.
I apologize to you, to Eric.

Eric (01:22:26):
Yeah, there we go.

Matt (01:22:28):
And uh we uh it's just been a very hectic uh summer and
everything for me.
And um, I'm trying, I'm tryingto carve out the time to be able
to work on it.
I'm trying to roll that stoneup my Sisophean hill.
I work too hard for that.
I agree.

(01:22:49):
I agree.
I work too hard for it.
I worked too hard for it, and Iapologize.
I apologize to you, Eric.
And I apologize to you, Amelia,and I apologize to me.

Eric (01:23:00):
Oh, yeah, there's my cat in the background.

Matt (01:23:01):
Yeah, yeah, no one can see it but me.
But anyway, there she is, andthere we are.
And Eric, oh yeah, the socialsyou didn't ask pod.
That's the letter you didn'task pod, Instagram, blue sky,
all the other places.
Threads, I guess.
Threads, I guess, TikTok.
We haven't posted in TikTok ina hot minute, but yeah, it's
still there.
Yeah.
Um, the uh again, I don't havetime to work on the website.

(01:23:23):
I certainly don't have time tocreate these clips, but I could
so follow us on TikTok for oneday when I get around to it.
But I think that will about doit.
That will what has been, Ithink, the messiest business of
the history of the business, butI am still reeling from my
embarrassment at Google Gripes.

(01:23:45):
So I can be forgiven.

Eric (01:23:47):
I hope you will have your revenge.

Matt (01:23:50):
I hope so.
This Christmas.
I hope it's a black Christmasfor you.
Oh, I hope it's bloody.
It'll be a holly.
Folly of a Christmas.
Eric, really good.
Thank you.
God, you didn't work hard forthat at all.
No.
Naturally.

Eric (01:24:08):
I just scraped that right off the dumb.

Matt (01:24:11):
Oh, yeah.
Well, let's see what else youscrape off when I go.
Well, that'll about do it forall of us here.
You didn't ask for this.
My name's Matt Shea.
My name's Eric Poach.
And listen, you didn't ask.
Now close your eyes.
Is that Selma Hayek's foot inyour mouth?
Uh maybe.
Or is it Liberace?
No.

Eric (01:24:36):
Really good.
Really good.
Really look, I spent all thegas on Google Gripes.
Really good.
This is what's left in thetank.