November 20, 2025 • 43 mins
Ya boys have been sick, so instead of hearing our nasty, congested voices, you get a trip down memory lane! We've collected some highlights from Episodes 61-70 (that's half the pod ago!) while we recover to bring you a brand-new episode in two weeks time.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matt (00:00):
Oh hey friends.
Yes, I know.
You've already seen the title.
No new episode this week.
It's a best of what hadhappened was I got sick and then
proceeded to stay sick for likethree weeks.
And then even when I feltbetter, my voice sucked.
So that's not good forrecording.
And then Eric, the audacity ofthis man, he got sick in the
(00:25):
middle of it.
And we didn't even see eachother.
So I didn't even have the honorof being the one getting him
sick.
We didn't kiss or nothing.
Anyway, so it's the best ofepisodes 61 through 70, which
came out all the way back in2023.
So I do hope you enjoy thislittle trip down memory lane.
(00:48):
It was curated for you by Mr.
Eric Poach.
But don't worry, we'll be backwith a new episode in two weeks'
time.
Until then, sit back, relax,and enjoy as what was once old
is made new again.
Clean but not sterile.
Eric (01:28):
It's really it's the specificity against all oddities
for me.
And this is what makes AgainstAll Oddities a very generous
scene partner.
They are giving me so muchground, like they're giving me
so much inquisitive ground towork with here.
Clean but not sterile.
So so obviously no visible dirtor soilage on the shears, but
(01:52):
we but we they have not been,you know.
But you're gonna need a tetanusshot.
You're gonna need a tetanusshot.
They have not been, they havenot been sterilized, they have
not been boiled, they have notbeen put through an autoclave,
they haven't even been runthrough the dishwasher.
I think uh the audience knowswhat sterile means.
Okay.
He looks wiry and fit, but nottoo strong.
So that's again, I I know theguy, the kind of person they're
(02:16):
describing.
It's the kind of person I leastwant to fight.
The scrappy, scrappy kind ofscrappy.
They got they got ooh, they gottricks up their sleeve.
Matt (02:25):
Yeah.
They may be able to do thatthat thing where they run
towards a wall and they run overyou.
Eric (02:31):
Yeah, they may be capable of that.
They they might be capable ofthat.
My friend Steve Galindo was waswas built like this, and he he
could do that.
He could run at a wall, run upthe wall, and do a backflip.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Blew my fucking mind.
You can't trust such a person.
No, especially not with a pairof garden shears garden shears.
Not ones that are clean but notsterile.
(02:53):
So he's offering cash for toes.
He wants so in this scenario,he wants to take his clean but
not sterile garden shears, snipoff my little toesy woezies, my
little piggies.
Yeah.
And with no sort of anesthesia,no sort of anesthesia, uh, I am
responsible for infectioncontrol, as evidenced by the
fact that, you know, he's atleast, you know, they're not
(03:15):
covered in blood or something.
Matt (03:17):
Your day is officially disrupted.
You're going straight to anurgent care.
Eric (03:22):
Yes, yes.
And imagine explaining that.
How much cash would you acceptfor each toe?
What would your explanation beto the sorry, let's pause.
What would your explanation beto the patient first people?
Oh.
You're you're hobbling intopatient first, your new balance
is full of blood.
Matt (03:41):
I don't think you need to explain anything.
I think you walk in, they'regonna see the situation and go,
cash for toes.
Eric (03:46):
You're telling me in.
Oh, you meant Hector, huh?
Oh my god.
I need toes now.
Called called JG Toesworth 877Toes now.
Wow, good work, man.
Good pull.
(04:07):
Thank you, thank you.
Um JG Toesworth.
JG Toesworth.
Matt (04:11):
Okay, so you're you're you're wearing an up to JG
Toesworth.
Yeah.
And he's offering you cashforesworth.
I love instant classiccharacter, JG Toesworth.
And he walks up to you, he'swiry, and he's wiry.
He's not wearing a shirt, buthe's wearing slacks and a belt.
(04:32):
He's offering you cash fortoes, and behind him is a chorus
of people going J G Toesworth877 Toes now.
Yes.
They just follow him along.
Eric (04:45):
God, Sheb, what are you doing?
Poor one out, babe.
I yeah, originally I was kindof impressed.
I was like, damn, he wrotethat.
He heard this joke from thischild and then wrote that,
cranked it out in like an hour.
But it shows.
I think we can acknowledgethat.
It shows when in the middle ofthe song, it's like, oh fuck, we
need to we need to hit thatlike on the beat.
We love short shorts.
Matt (05:06):
Okay, there it is.
He also he is dead.
He died in um 2003, but I havesome important information for
you.
Oh fuck.
He's also an actor.
He played uh Cletus Summers,the principal uh in the 86 movie
Hoosiers.
Okay.
(05:26):
He was in High Noon.
Okay.
He was Travis Cobb and theOutlaw Joseph, Josie Wales.
But get ready, Eric.
He's also the voice actorcredited with providing the
Wilhelm Scream.
Are you fucked?
Wow, that took you by shit.
(05:49):
Surprise.
Eric (05:51):
You can't just hit me with that, Matthew.
Matt (05:54):
Chev Lowley, the flying purple people eater himself, is
the Wilhelm Scream.
Eric (06:02):
Are you fucking kidding me?
Matt (06:05):
And if you're unfamiliar with the Wilhelm Scream, here it
is.
Eric (06:09):
Oh my god, this is the greatest day of my life.
Matt (06:14):
That's the Wilhelm Scream.
That's our man.
Is it such a leaperic tosuggest that Wilhelm is the
protagonist of this song?
And the scream is the scream hemakes when eaten by the purple
people eater who is a liar.
(06:36):
And he just eats people.
Eric (06:38):
He just eats people after he rocks and rolls with them.
Wait, hold on.
Matt, I can't hear you.
Oh shit, I can't hear youanymore.
I think it's because you justdropped the fucking mic.
That's right.
Holy fuck.
I'm sorry, hold on.
I mean to say that's right.
I I think what pissed me offmore wasn't that you thought I
(07:00):
should know that you didn'tassume like you should have
rightly been like the second itstarted happening, like, oh, let
me text Eric immediately.
But later on, as anafterthought, you're like, oh,
maybe we should.
But not only that, you didn'ttell me your rankings.
I had to ask like a beggar onthe street what your fucking
rankings were.
Matt (07:19):
Well, I didn't know you were gonna drag my name through
the mud here.
But yeah, I did I did I didn'tnecessarily uh You're forgiven.
You're forgiven.
Okay.
I don't remember.
Eric (07:33):
Um I forgive you.
But he did pr pretty much,pretty much immediately texted
me back.
They all texted their answersall at once.
I got this lovely, lovelyscreenshot.
Uh just gonna go through these,you know, Matt.
Matt (07:46):
Oh, sure, yeah.
Go ahead, take it away.
Eric (07:48):
Would fuck Poe, marry Lala, kill Dipsy, uh, and
abandon Tinky Winky.
There are four of them we haveto account for that.
Matt (07:55):
So the the fourth one is Tinky Winky's get uh abandoned
or spared, however you want tolook at it.
Eric (08:00):
Lindsay, fuck Tinky Winky, marry Lala, kill Poe, leave out
Dipsy.
Fuck Dipsy, yeah, I got it.
Sarah, fuck Lala, marry TinkyWinky, kill Dipsy, spares Poe.
Uh Carissa, fuck Dipsy, marryLala, kill Tinky Winky, leave
out Dipsyki.
Matt (08:17):
And then you had the odd.
I'm gonna take over thisnarrative.
Fascinating series of takesbefore you bury my name in the
sand and uh our friends as well.
Yeah, you then said this is afascinating series of takes.
That's exactly what you said.
And then now for the correctone, this fucking asshole over
here objectives back.
(08:37):
Fuck Tinky Winky, marry Dipsy,kill Poe, spare La La.
So I don't understand you,Eric.
Would you would you care toexplain your rationale?
I get Tinky Winky, he's 10 feetfucking tall, and you're a
giant, so I get it.
I get it.
Eric (08:52):
We fit.
We fit the eldest, he's theeldest Teletubby.
He's the tallest.
LGBTQ icon.
I don't know if you rememberthat.
I don't know if you rememberthe fucking, like America was
just coated in a fine powder ofpearlescent dust as as people
across the nation just clutchedtheir pearls so hard they
crumbled them to the finestpower over the fact that Tinky
(09:14):
Winky had the audacity to have abag.
Was it Tinky Winky that had thebag?
Oh, yeah, it was Tinky Winky.
Yep, it was the red bag.
People called it a purse.
Uh some people said it's not apurse, it's a bag, it's satchel.
And me over here, I'm like, letme just get at let me get at
this teletope.
Oh, you're right, it was bitchin bag.
Matt (09:33):
Yeah, you're right.
It was Tinky Winky.
Well, Tinky Winky's like 10feet tall.
Like, that's not anexaggeration.
Yeah, no, like Tinky Winkyfucks.
So I get that, but like explainyour rationale to me of why you
would marry Dipsy and not Lala.
So mine's very simple.
(09:54):
I'm happy to, I'm happy tocorrect you right off the bat.
I said fuck Poe because of thatlittle circle thing on the top.
I mean, I feel like that'sfuckable, but not long term.
Now think about Lala.
Lala's got this fuckingcorkscrew thing at the top.
Eric (10:08):
Yeah.
Matt (10:09):
That's fun for years.
You know what I'm saying?
Think of the possibilities youcan do.
Eric (10:13):
But also, like Lala is like the most one of the most
innocent of the teletubbies.
Like it like she sings, sheshe's just out there like
dancing, looking out, like she'sthe Hufflepuff of the
Teletubbies.
I I'm like, you don't want nopart of this mess.
Like, like Lala walks into theroom, there's me, you know, mid
(10:34):
mid-coitus with Tinky Winky,putting the ring on Dipsy's
finger, gun to the head of Poe,and I'm just like, Lala, get out
now.
Go, you don't want no part ofthis.
Leave this one.
Matt (10:46):
Get out now and come to me so we can have a stable,
long-term, loving, and verysexually fulfilling
relationship.
Eric (10:52):
But as to why I'm marrying Dipsy, so named for the
dipstick appendage, the verystraight, like, just like rigid.
It's a fucking dagger.
It's a weapon up there.
Yeah.
Uh so Dipsy is known to be, andI'm all this information coming
to you live from Wikipedia,donate today.
Dipsy is the most they call itstubborn of the Teletubbies and
(11:17):
will refuse to go along with theother's group opinion.
If I'm marrying someone, I wantsome like fucking put me on the
right, like hold meaccountable, fucking put like
fucking no nonsense, fuckingthat kind of stability.
If I'm gonna marry anybody, Imean fucking Dipsy.
I like even I'm not on likeDipsy's not just gonna go along
(11:38):
with bullshit, Dipsy will callme out on it, and that's what I
value.
Matt (11:42):
Yeah, and then you it potentially can that he'll use
baller with that fucking daggerit's got on its head.
Because it's not it'd be easy,it'd be low-hanging fruit to
call it a dildo up there, alittle penis.
It's it is not, it's too it'stoo pointy to be phallic, in my
opinion.
Eric (12:01):
And it's made, it's made of terry cloth.
Matt (12:04):
I don't think it'll be enjoyable when it gets all up in
you.
And I don't think that'ssomething you're considering.
I don't think you'reconsidering the inherent
violence in the head.
Oh, I'm considering it.
Whoever the fuck we're talkingabout.
I forget already.
Dipsy.
Uh my my husband Dipsy.
Eric (12:22):
Yeah.
Well Dipsy Poach.
Dipsy, Dipsy Poach.
I I want Also that just rollsright off the fucking tongue.
Dipsy poach.
Yeah.
Matt (12:32):
I've gone down a rabbit hole from the question, which is
life insurance or carinsurance.
Car insurance is for somethingyou own, part of your property.
Life insurance is for your yourhuman body.
So in the cars universe, it'sgotta be life insurance.
It's gotta be life insurance.
Eric (12:49):
Because also kind of horrifying to think about with
car insurance, there's a pointat which insurance tells you,
no, this is not worth saving.
And if they tell you that whileyou're on the fucking operating
table, not great words to hear.
Yeah, you're totaled.
You're totaled, lightning.
You're totaled.
Matt (13:09):
You're better, it'd be better for your family to just
get a new son.
Eric (13:13):
Jesus Christ.
I'm imagining like themechanics just shit talking.
You're a disaster, my guy.
You're done.
Matt (13:20):
We should just make a new you because there's no point in
bringing this one back.
Eric (13:24):
Bro, we're gonna turn you into license plates.
Matt (13:27):
Yeah.
I'm afraid it's all over foryou.
Uh Ignition off.
So, yeah, I think at the coreof your question there, Conway,
I think it's life insurance.
Eric (13:38):
Life insurance.
Matt (13:39):
I think that makes the most sense too.
Eric (13:40):
If we're having if we need some semblance of of ethics in
this universe, some semblance ofof of fucking just normally.
Matt (13:49):
Because if you want an uh a presentation of good ethics,
get into insurance uh in theUnited States.
Eric (13:56):
That's the correct fact.
Well, I'm speaking purely fromthose like, well, it's either,
yeah, I get my family gets abunch of money if I die, or
versus car insurance, the docsmight just decide halfway
through that to euthanize me.
Matt (14:11):
Anything's possible.
Only in America.
I want to meet a Hershey adult.
But he does have a a rather Iwant to meet a Hershey adult as
well.
I want to meet a Hershey adult.
Yeah.
I want to meet a what it whatis a Hershey adult like?
Yeah, I I don't know.
Maybe I'm stepping out of mylane here, but you're looking at
him, baby.
I think you're a Hershey adult.
I love a Hershey.
I can tell you what my ridingstatus is right off the bat.
(14:35):
What?
Jolly Rancher, baby.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You Jolly Rancher?
Have you been you've been toHershey Park?
Eric (14:42):
I've been to Hershey Park many a time.
Matt (14:43):
Yeah, you're a Jolly Rancher.
You're beyond a Jolly Rancher.
I am the Jolly Rancher.
You sure are, buddy.
You sure are.
Eric (14:52):
Uh Disney adults.
Um they not only know, theyhave the park rides down to a
science.
Like they have their own likespecial tailored formula for
what order to attend the ridesfrom Max.
They know the secret paths togo down.
They know the secret paths.
They know all you they're theones giving you tours of each
(15:14):
ride while you're on them.
Matt (15:15):
But it goes beyond a relationship with the park.
I think it it has a like adedication to every new Disney
movie that comes out.
Oh there's there's a dedicationto like I like Disney, but I'm
not automatically seeing everynew animated movie that comes
(15:37):
out.
I it's gotta get hyped to mefirst.
Yes.
Eric (15:40):
And even then, maybe I I I gotta get the oh, have you seen
Encanto before I'm like, yeah,there's a new Disney movie out?
Matt (15:50):
Like that is how I saw Encanto.
Yeah.
Like because so many people arelike, oh my god, it's so good,
you gotta see it.
And it was like, all right,we'll turn that on, turn this
on, you know, like but like I amnot like counting down days to
release days of just children'smovies by my but without some
context.
Eric (16:08):
I know people who were planning tattoos based off of
characters before the show,before the movie even dropped.
Just because like they go, theygo in hard.
Matt (16:18):
Yeah, I think there is I don't know, it is hard to even
trying to lay down these hardand fast like qualifications of
like you are a Disney adult.
Is I'm finding it a littledifficult because there is like
this ephemeral nature.
Eric (16:36):
Here, here's what it is.
Matt, let's say we're on afirst date.
Every every episode's a firstdate.
There, thank you.
There are certain things thatlike you're kind of uh obligated
to bring up on a first date ifif they qualify for you.
Like like I have a kid.
Yes, I I like that kind ofstuff, like I I or like I was
(17:00):
married, I was divorced, likestuff like like just like stuff
that's good for the otherperson.
The headline news, yes.
If one of your first datepreambles is I have a particular
relationship with Disney, likeif you have to like prime the
other human being, like, hey,you need to know this about like
(17:21):
you need to know what you'resigning on to.
We're gonna be going to theparks, we're gonna be we're
gonna be getting dinner in theEnchanted Castle.
Matt (17:27):
Or if they in any way are able to put that together
without you saying that, let'ssay you whip out a Mickey Mouse
credit card, or have have anysort of Disney iconography
anywhere on your person.
Eric (17:46):
Yeah.
Matt (17:48):
Yeah, I think you're a Disney adult.
Eric (17:50):
If after, like, you know, a very successful first date,
you know, establishing commoninterests and stuff, turns out
you both love it.
If your wedding invitations,like if the save the dates have
be our guest on them.
Your motherfucking Disneyadult.
Not that there's anything wrongwith that.
Matt (18:11):
I think, I think it's a little like porn.
Go on.
You know it when you see it.
Eric (18:22):
Oh, I didn't know you were busting out the Supreme Court's
definition of lewd acts.
Matt, do you do you ever askLindsay or does Lindsay ever ask
you like hypotheticals?
Like oh yeah.
Like like relationshiphypotheticals.
Uh uh Probably.
(18:42):
Give me an example.
Um very, very common one thesedays.
You'll see it around often.
Um my girlfriend has asked methis.
The question, would you stilllove me if I was a worm?
Oh, sure, yeah.
Yeah, like standard fare.
Like that kind of stuff.
Umyssa has asked me that noless than like three dozen
(19:03):
times.
Matt (19:03):
Like she'll say, Yeah, and I hope you said no.
I mean, you're not gonna beseen with no worm, right?
Eric (19:07):
I would I I would be seen with a worm.
If she was that worm.
That's disappointing.
She's good little worm.
Get her, get a little, get alittle jar, put some some put
some dirt leaves in there.
Keep her gotta keep her moistin the recreate her environment.
Yeah, I gotta mist her everynow and then.
Yeah, give her a little goodmiss.
So here's the questions I askmy my partner.
(19:31):
Um and I I'm gonna share thequestion with you.
Um, it's the post-apocalypse.
And in this scenario, you'regonna be my girlfriend, that I
thought I already was, so thatworks for me.
So here we go.
Babe.
Yeah, it's the post-apocalypse.
Society has well aware of that.
You tell me every day.
(19:51):
Yeah, no, but like actual, likeit is we are we are full-blown,
it we are mad-maxing, fightingover the irradiated wastes of
Dundalk.
Like, we're in a scavengingparty, we have uh armor made out
of tires, someone's got afootball helmet on with spikes.
Matt (20:11):
Babe, we're eating a roast rabbit.
I know this.
Why are you telling me?
Eric (20:15):
Okay, but like if in this post, if it was the
post-apocalypse, and if we werein the like we're we're out,
we're out there fighting, and inthe middle of the fight, we're
we're we're fighting somemutants.
Um and I I get I get wounded,and you see the the mutant.
The mutants have me.
They're they've got like theirtheir hooks in me, and they're
(20:36):
like dragging me off, and likethey're they're they've captured
me.
I am I am in the middle.
I am they're going to take me.
It's over for you.
Yeah.
And there is nothing goodwaiting for me back at the at
like the murder dome.
I can't imagine.
Um, would you shoot me betweenthe eyes?
Like, would you right rightbetween the eyes?
(20:57):
Like, would you put would youwould you would you as opposed
to try to rescue you?
No, no, no, no.
That like that's what I mean.
Like, we're you it is we arelosing this fight.
There's no like they if theytake me, they're like, you're
never gonna see me again, atleast not in this shape.
Matt (21:13):
And you want me to hawkeye last of the Mohicans you
immediately?
Eric (21:18):
Yeah, like like would you be willing?
Like, would you do that if yousaw them?
They are they are taking me, Iam gone.
No, you wouldn't.
I would try to rescue youfirst.
You know what's fucked up?
Alyssa said she would.
Matt (21:31):
Yeah, okay, that's why I'm telling you, don't be with a
worm, Eric.
Eric (21:35):
I Matt, I spent like never trust a worm.
To Alyssa's credit, she spent15 minutes trying to like Mr.
Smith goes to Washington.
She was like, but she was like,you she's like, you swear
there's like nothing I can do.
I was like, Alyssa, there'snothing you can do.
It is it is a foregoneconclusion.
Goodbye.
I the best thing that'll happento me is I'm eaten.
(21:58):
Like, that is all right, it is,and she's like, fucking, like,
she's agonizing over thisdecision.
Matt (22:05):
All right, so I would do it.
I'm gonna give you a differenthypothetical.
All right, yeah, because youknow, I I don't uh you know, I'm
making a bit here, Alyssa.
I know you're listening.
Calm down.
Everything's alright.
No, no one's coming for yourworm man, okay.
It's not your fault that you'rea worm, okay?
(22:25):
A little tiny worm who won't gorescue her man.
You you don't worry, man.
How can I rescue your fuckingworm?
Yeah, what are you even gonnado?
Okay, it's okay.
It's okay.
But I do think this is a goodopportunity to change the
hypothetical ever so slightly toinclude because you don't you
you have a girlfriend.
(22:46):
I don't need to be yourhypothetical girlfriend, okay?
What I am, however, is if Icould be so bold, the only other
important relationship in yourlife.
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
For that reason, let's changethe hypothetical slightly to
there's Alyssa, there's me, andthere's you getting abducted by
the meat hook goblins.
Eric (23:06):
Yeah, yes, yes.
Matt (23:08):
Okay.
Eric (23:08):
They are chanting to their the the undetonated nuke that
they have back at their basethat they work.
Matt (23:15):
Absolutely, that they worship every night.
Yes, absolutely.
You're the gonna be thesacrifice, and God only knows
what that sacrifice looks like.
Eric (23:22):
Oh, it does not involve me having skin, I can tell you
this much.
Matt (23:25):
So there's Alyssa.
She's gonna be she's gonna beweeping, she's gonna be taking
out her her her pipe rifle, youknow.
Yes, her ramshackle glossfashioned together, and very
cute, too.
Eric (23:38):
Like she paints like little little little cute little
creatures and stuff like that.
Matt (23:41):
Oh, and she's gonna be crying.
The tears.
Eric (23:42):
Oh, the tears.
Oh, yes.
It's gonna be a little bitmore.
It'll be very aesthetic.
Matt (23:45):
It'll be very good because she's gonna know what she has
to do.
You've had this conversation,right?
There's no help for you.
You're going down, sugar.
And she takes that gun, sheadjusts her sight through the
tears.
And you can hear like the Yes,you can hear all that.
She's got it pointed.
(24:06):
You guys are locked in eyecontact.
The only people in the world,you're barely aware that you're
gonna be able to do it.
I'm mouthing the words do it.
Do it, you're mouthing thewords do it, and they've got
their meat hook hands directlyinto your skin because they only
have hooks for hands.
They don't have hands.
And so they're just gotcha,you're bleeding out.
And she she wraps that fingerof hers around the trigger, and
(24:31):
then a slap to the face as Igrab the pipe rifle and say, get
back, worm, and charge intobattle.
You're not going down withoutme, you son of a bitch!
Eric (24:41):
You get your hands off of my lanky friend.
In Dungeons and Dragons, thereare mechanics like initiative,
action, and bonus action.
What would some of those be inreal life for your own reality?
And why would you choose thoseto be your actions and bonus
actions and such?
And what would your initiativebe?
Matt (25:00):
To advocate for those who might not be familiar.
What is the difference betweenan action and a bonus action?
Eric (25:05):
Uh, action, so everyone on their turn in combat, you get
actions.
Uh, and you you can use anaction to attack, you can use an
action to cast a spell most ofthe time.
Um, and then a bonus action,there's like a huge list of
bonus actions you can take, andthis can be stuff like taking a
five-foot step away from anenemy or preparing to do
(25:25):
something else.
And like you can there's a lotof options for what you can do,
but you only get like one bonusaction.
So it's like the little thingyou can do in addition to the
thing, like I can smack a goblinwith a sword, and then as a
bonus action, I can ready mycrossbow for the next round.
Got it.
Like stuff like that.
I feel like my bonus actions, avast majority of the time, are
(25:45):
a second, a second skill checkto try to correct the thing I
just missed or fucked up.
Like you have attempted to putthis thing on a shelf.
You have knocked over threethings in the process.
Roll bonus action to try tocatch them.
Try to stop that from happening.
Yeah.
If it isn't the consequences ofmy own actions, back again for
(26:06):
revenge.
Welcome back.
I did have a very fun moment uhthe other day.
I I pulled a real life bluffcheck against a cop um because I
was driving home from work andon this long, it's like this
long stretch of road before youget to my neighborhood.
And typically on this road,it's just a long stretch of road
(26:27):
with like a single light, uh,but there's a lot of side roads.
So usually like I'll be drivingalong and a car will suddenly
like start slowing down orstopping to turn down one of
these side roads, but theremight be cars coming though.
It's a two-lane road, like onegoing one way, one going the
other way.
You all know you're familiarwith roads.
You know, roads, am I right?
Am I?
Come on, listen to this.
Well, usually, like if a personstops there and there's like a
(26:49):
bunch of cars coming theopposite way, I'll be stuck
there for a while waiting forthis person to like turn it.
So I'll just like do that thingwhere you kind of dip around
them on the shoulder, becauselike there's plenty of shoulder.
So you just do the little dip.
Yeah, just do that little thingthat breaks the law.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Um so I did that.
Kind of a bad boy, kind of akind of a rebel.
Put us in the comments for moreroad content.
(27:11):
Yeah.
But I went to do that.
I saw this guy stopping, and II you know, because I'm lazy,
and which has already beenestablished as driving on the
shoulder momentarily,momentarily, because I'm lazy, I
I got over on the shoulderearly.
So I was I was hanging out inthat shoulder for like a second.
There's only like two or threecars on this road, by the way.
It's not like there was trafficand I was riding the shoulder.
(27:33):
Those people can go to hell.
But as I'm passing this car, Irealize it wasn't just one car
stopped, it was like three, andsandwiched between three cars
was a fucking cop.
So the cop just had this lovelyview of me driving up the
shoulder.
At which point, as soon as Isee the, I look over, see the
cop, and my brain reflexively, Ihit the emergency blinkers on
(27:53):
the car and I pull to a stop andI park.
And then the cop pulls up,like, because the cop did that
thing.
As soon as I passed him, hestarted, he started like like
moving to to engage.
He pulls up beside me, he'slike, hey, everything all right.
And I just, without eventhinking, I'm like, oh yeah,
check engine light came on.
I just wanted to pull over,check under the hood, make sure
everything's okay.
And he's like, Oh yeah, thatmakes sense.
(28:14):
And he drives.
Eric.
Did you get out of the car andcheck over the hood?
Oh, motherfucker, you betterbelieve her.
As long as that cop car was inline of sight of me, I got out
of the car, lifted the hood,touched the touched a finger to
my chin, like, mmm, yeah.
Matt (28:31):
Let's just see what's going on in the air.
Eric (28:33):
That's an engine.
Still here.
Matt (28:35):
Yeah.
Just as I suspected, that's thewindshield washer.
Eric (28:40):
I literally, I opened it up and just said out loud to no
one but me, I was like, Yep,that's an engine.
It's checked.
I do the same shit.
And then got back in the car,waited a beat, and then pulled
off.
Pull the dipstick out.
Huh.
Matt (28:56):
I haven't pulled one of these out in quite some time.
I really have not.
I don't change my own oil.
Come on.
What am I?
A peasant.
What are you?
Eric (29:04):
A minicing?
What were we talking aboutbefore you accuse.
No, I I don't want to create aclassist society, Matthew.
I want to create a classysociety.
I want I classy and notclassist.
Where a warlock can earn by thesweat of his brow and and the
(29:25):
the the leather of his tome.
Yes.
Go off, King.
Matt (29:34):
Come on.
Come on, tell me.
Tell me how it could be.
Eric (29:39):
Oh man.
Where where where a thief ahumble thief or a humble thief
can can steal an an Aladdinesque loaf of bread with
impunity and level up fromstreet rat to prince.
Oh my god, yes.
Where where your local priestcan kick the ass of the demon
(30:06):
that's inhabiting you know youryour spouse.
Literally smite the shit out ofhim.
Matt (30:12):
Yeah, I kind of lost what Disney film we're talking about
now.
Eric (30:15):
I where a simple village girl can go from simple village
girl to level 20 fighter overthe course of a movie.
Indeed.
And save all of China.
Matt (30:30):
Yeah, but that was only with the help of uh Donnie
Osmond.
Oh, I always forget that DonnieOsmond.
Through the power of song.
But only the singing voice.
He's only the singing voice.
Yes.
Oh man, good old Donnie.
I think they almost got itright.
Eric (30:46):
You heard it here first, folks.
Matt thinks they almost got9-11 right.
Didn't have that one on thebingo card.
God.
Matt (30:57):
That I I never claimed that Fallout Boy was responsible
for 9-11.
I never claimed that.
All I said is it can't beproven.
It can't be proven.
Eric (31:09):
Just look at the facts.
Do your own research.
Matthew.
Where were you?
Where were you, Fallout Boy?
Matt (31:16):
Where were you, Fallout Boy?
Anyway, the origin the originalWe didn't start the Fire ends
with JFK blown away.
What else do I have to say?
Poetry in motion, Billy.
Yes.
I think it is appropriate to agenerational equivalent, so to
speak, in terms of where wereyou type events, that they put
(31:38):
9-11 in the same spot as whereJFK blown away was.
Eric (31:43):
That scans.
That absolutely scans.
Matt (31:45):
But what their lyric is, and uh same beat, you know, same
everything.
It's just cover with differentlyrics.
What their lyric is world tradesecond plane.
What else do I have to say?
Eric (31:58):
And here's what I would say.
What what what what would youhave done in fall in Mr.
Boy's shoes?
Matt (32:04):
If you're going to put it there as an homage to the like
the uh the level of incidentthat the original song is
referencing at that exact samespot part of the song, why with
this particular event, and Idon't mean to, you know, sound
indelicate, yeah, why would younot keep it world trade blown
(32:28):
away?
Eric (32:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Also, they could they wereperfectly set up to go with
something like Osama Seal Teams,jet fuel doesn't melt steel
beams.
Matt (32:42):
Eric, Eric, that is so much better than any lyric in
either version of the song.
Eric (32:47):
That was right off the fucking dome.
Matt (32:49):
Eric, you're a fucking bard, my guy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're a fucking poet, my guy.
Eric (32:55):
Yeah.
Who wasted a theater degreenow, dad?
Matt (32:59):
Yeah.
Dad.
Now, the other thing that hesays that I think is
interesting.
This is Mr.
Mr.
Boy again.
They reference Michael Jordantwice.
Okay?
Twice?
Eric (33:15):
Yeah.
Please tell me at least one ofthose references was to the film
like Mike.
Matt (33:20):
No.
Fucking fuck off.
I believe the lyrics, in fact,are that are simply just Michael
Jordan 23 and then laterMichael Jordan 45.
Eric (33:32):
Yes, that is literally what they just listed his names
and his jersey number and theother jersey number you've never
heard of.
Matt (33:41):
But so they're referencing when he like came out of
retirement, right?
Yeah.
And so what I would say is,okay, you've got another
precedent of we didn't start thefire for this in Richard Nixon,
and then later Richard Nixonback again.
So why wouldn't you keepMichael Jordan and match it with
(34:01):
Michael Jordan back again?
Do I have to do everyone's jobfor them, Eric?
It was right there.
It was right there.
And they ignored all that.
And also they threw in ever forthe uh, as you may recall,
Trouble in the Suez is featuredin the first song.
(34:23):
So I would say, hey, we've hadtrouble in the Suez recently.
You could keep the same fuckingweird.
Eric (34:31):
And that makes it funnier.
Matt (34:32):
It makes it funnier because we know what it is.
Yeah.
And we know what you're doing.
But they said, Ever given Suez.
Okay.
Eric (34:40):
And I know wait, it's ever given.
Matt (34:42):
And oh my God.
Ever given Suez.
Ever given, comma Suez.
And like what I would say islike, we all know what you're
gonna reference.
Why don't you keep the samestructure?
I would have written backup inthe Suez.
Boom.
There it is.
Or keep it as trouble.
Eric (35:01):
Trouble, trouble, trouble.
Yeah.
Um, oh, you could have youcould have hit it with Morty
Enric Sanchez backup in theSuez.
Like it's right.
Matt (35:11):
Like you could have Morty Enric Sanchez backup in the
Suez?
Eric, fuck you! Off the dome.
Give me something else.
Eric (35:22):
Oh fuck.
Um give me an OJ lyric.
Matt (35:28):
They didn't have an OJ lyric.
Give me an OJ lyric.
Eric (35:30):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Um oh, I've I've I've got itonce I've got the second half,
just gotta download the firsthalf.
Matt (35:47):
Is this helping or hurting?
Eric (35:48):
No, this is this is yeah.
Um wait, I have it.
I have it.
Give me a moment.
Uh the best part is you canedit all this out so I sound way
more clever.
Um I can.
Uh not gonna.
You could hit him with hit himwith this.
Hit him with this.
Uh Ronda Santis, don't say gay,white Bronco, OJ.
(36:10):
Eric fucking poach.
Got you, baby.
I got you.
I'll bring it in.
Matt (36:18):
Bring it in over time.
I don't I don't even know whatI shouldn't have been.
You know what?
They approached me from DerryKing asked me for my opinion,
and you laughed.
You said, ha ha ha, they're notcoming to me.
Let me tell you something,Eric.
You are you are like a BillyJoel savant.
And then there's Flawn.
(36:38):
And then there's Flawn, sure.
Then there's fucking and then,oh, hold on.
Who's who's this bursting in onthe other side, settling in
themselves down in the corner?
Oh my god, it's CongressmanCannoli.
Hello.
Eric (36:56):
Oh shit.
Matt (36:58):
Hello, everybody.
Hey, Fron, let me tell yousomething.
How about you sit the fuck downand let the adults talk, okay?
Eric (37:07):
God damn it.
Yeah.
No, I didn't, I didn'tanticipate the c I did not
anticipate the cannoli.
Matt (37:14):
No one ever fucking anticipates Congressman Cannoli.
Oh my god.
That's what I'm saying, Eric.
There are so many desserts, andyou settled on Flan so quickly.
Governor Cannoli.
Governor Cannoli, a question.
Fucking please.
I'm just a humble congressperson.
Eric (37:32):
Sir, what do you Sir?
What do you what do you have tosay about the allegations?
The allegations that you sentto me, okay.
Matt (37:40):
Hey, hey, smart ass, huh?
You want to bring up fuckingdirty laundry, okay?
I can tell you something.
I know some people who get yourdirty laundry out here real
quick, okay?
You got anything else you wantto say?
You got anything else you wantto say?
That's what I fucking thought.
Sit the fuck down, buddy.
Eric (37:59):
That's my president.
That's my president.
Matt (38:02):
Yeah, yeah.
Now, if you excuse me, I'mgonna say some real racist shit
to Flan over here.
I just wanted to make cannoligreat again.
Eric (38:16):
No, I don't like what we're doing to Cannoli.
Yeah, I know.
Cannoli's going down a dark,twisted path.
But hey, hey, I didn't see anyother desserts on 9-11.
We can't make that the title,but God, I want that to be the
title so badly.
Matt (38:38):
I can't believe this episode has gone so far off the
rails immediately.
Somehow we're 35 minutes intothis bitch.
And we're so like, yeah, what Iwill say we haven't answered a
single question from a human.
We're posting a Republicandebate with desserts.
Eric (38:59):
What is the literal Margarita Rest re uh
Margaritaville restaurant forus?
And what is the ethereal,intangible, the Margaritaville
of which Jimmy sings for us?
Matt (39:13):
Well, Eric, at the risk of stepping on a Pop Tart and
blowing out my flip-flop, Ithink did you just say to me?
I said at the risk of steppingon a Pop Tart and blowing out a
flip-flop.
Eric (39:29):
Were you just quoting James Buffett to me?
I believe I was.
Matthew, I am sorry.
Oh Lord, let me get my phone.
Matt (39:44):
Wasted away again.
Oh, he knows the path rightdown my loins.
Oh so at the risk of steppingon a pop ton and blowing out
with flip-flop.
I think that the restaurant,the the actual tune, all of it,
(40:05):
all of it, the margarita mixes,all come down to the theme of
the song, which is of coursealcoholism, but the spirit of
the thing.
Eric (40:18):
A closed second theme.
Matt (40:20):
A close second is a place for you to go and drown your
sorrows because you fucked upyour life.
Eric (40:30):
Everything was bad, but now it's okay.
It's fine.
Matt (40:34):
So, or or we could answer all three.
In which case, I know theanswer, I think, to the what is
our Margaritaville?
The song, the like, what are wegonna play to make ourselves
feel better song?
Eric (40:47):
Okay, hit me with it.
Matt (40:49):
I think that the song that our generation already rallies
around.
Eric (40:55):
Yeah.
Our our anthem, ourMargaritaville.
Matt (40:58):
A candidate rises from the ashes, a savior sticks his hand
out of the debris, and thatsavior's name is Mr.
Brightside.
Eric (41:09):
Oh yeah.
Matt (41:12):
Yeah.
Come on.
Millennials love a fucking Mr.
Brightside moment.
Eric (41:17):
Coming out of our cage, and we were doing just fine.
Started out with my littleshaker of soul.
How did it end up like this?
So oh fucking Christ.
Some people say that there's awoman to blame, and she's called
the kiss, and my stomach is.
It was only a kiss.
Matt (41:39):
It works really well.
Eric (41:41):
Oh my god, this is the mashup.
Please, please, someonelistening to this, you know a
SoundCloud DJ.
Please.
Matt (41:51):
Someone, someone, oops.
I ruined it from TikTok.
Give us Mr.
Bright Side to the tune ofMargaritaville.
I beg you.
Oh my god.
It stepped on a pop top.
That just that just crashedinto my brain.
(42:21):
I was saying, Eric, I said withauthority multiple times.
I said multiple times on thispodcast, stepped up and someone
has been screaming pop top.
Someone's been composing thetweet already.
Someone has been fuckingpunching their phone.
And it just it just hit me.
(42:42):
We were in the middle ofanother bit, and all of a
sudden, Jimmy Buffett came intomy brain to say, hey, just so
you know, it's not a fucking poptart.
Oh hey friends.
Yes, I know.
You've already seen the title.
No new episode this week.
It's a best of what hadhappened was I got sick and then
proceeded to stay sick for likethree weeks.
And then even when I feltbetter, my voice sucked.
So that's not good forrecording.
And then Eric, the audacity ofthis man, he got sick in the
(00:25):
middle of it.
And we didn't even see eachother.
So I didn't even have the honorof being the one getting him
sick.
We didn't kiss or nothing.
Anyway, so it's the best ofepisodes 61 through 70, which
came out all the way back in2023.
So I do hope you enjoy thislittle trip down memory lane.
(00:48):
It was curated for you by Mr.
Eric Poach.
But don't worry, we'll be backwith a new episode in two weeks'
time.
Until then, sit back, relax,and enjoy as what was once old
is made new again.
Clean but not sterile.
Eric (01:28):
It's really it's the specificity against all oddities
for me.
And this is what makes AgainstAll Oddities a very generous
scene partner.
They are giving me so muchground, like they're giving me
so much inquisitive ground towork with here.
Clean but not sterile.
So so obviously no visible dirtor soilage on the shears, but
(01:52):
we but we they have not been,you know.
But you're gonna need a tetanusshot.
You're gonna need a tetanusshot.
They have not been, they havenot been sterilized, they have
not been boiled, they have notbeen put through an autoclave,
they haven't even been runthrough the dishwasher.
I think uh the audience knowswhat sterile means.
Okay.
He looks wiry and fit, but nottoo strong.
So that's again, I I know theguy, the kind of person they're
(02:16):
describing.
It's the kind of person I leastwant to fight.
The scrappy, scrappy kind ofscrappy.
They got they got ooh, they gottricks up their sleeve.
Matt (02:25):
Yeah.
They may be able to do thatthat thing where they run
towards a wall and they run overyou.
Eric (02:31):
Yeah, they may be capable of that.
They they might be capable ofthat.
My friend Steve Galindo was waswas built like this, and he he
could do that.
He could run at a wall, run upthe wall, and do a backflip.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Blew my fucking mind.
You can't trust such a person.
No, especially not with a pairof garden shears garden shears.
Not ones that are clean but notsterile.
(02:53):
So he's offering cash for toes.
He wants so in this scenario,he wants to take his clean but
not sterile garden shears, snipoff my little toesy woezies, my
little piggies.
Yeah.
And with no sort of anesthesia,no sort of anesthesia, uh, I am
responsible for infectioncontrol, as evidenced by the
fact that, you know, he's atleast, you know, they're not
(03:15):
covered in blood or something.
Matt (03:17):
Your day is officially disrupted.
You're going straight to anurgent care.
Eric (03:22):
Yes, yes.
And imagine explaining that.
How much cash would you acceptfor each toe?
What would your explanation beto the sorry, let's pause.
What would your explanation beto the patient first people?
Oh.
You're you're hobbling intopatient first, your new balance
is full of blood.
Matt (03:41):
I don't think you need to explain anything.
I think you walk in, they'regonna see the situation and go,
cash for toes.
Eric (03:46):
You're telling me in.
Oh, you meant Hector, huh?
Oh my god.
I need toes now.
Called called JG Toesworth 877Toes now.
Wow, good work, man.
Good pull.
(04:07):
Thank you, thank you.
Um JG Toesworth.
JG Toesworth.
Matt (04:11):
Okay, so you're you're you're wearing an up to JG
Toesworth.
Yeah.
And he's offering you cashforesworth.
I love instant classiccharacter, JG Toesworth.
And he walks up to you, he'swiry, and he's wiry.
He's not wearing a shirt, buthe's wearing slacks and a belt.
(04:32):
He's offering you cash fortoes, and behind him is a chorus
of people going J G Toesworth877 Toes now.
Yes.
They just follow him along.
Eric (04:45):
God, Sheb, what are you doing?
Poor one out, babe.
I yeah, originally I was kindof impressed.
I was like, damn, he wrotethat.
He heard this joke from thischild and then wrote that,
cranked it out in like an hour.
But it shows.
I think we can acknowledgethat.
It shows when in the middle ofthe song, it's like, oh fuck, we
need to we need to hit thatlike on the beat.
We love short shorts.
Matt (05:06):
Okay, there it is.
He also he is dead.
He died in um 2003, but I havesome important information for
you.
Oh fuck.
He's also an actor.
He played uh Cletus Summers,the principal uh in the 86 movie
Hoosiers.
Okay.
(05:26):
He was in High Noon.
Okay.
He was Travis Cobb and theOutlaw Joseph, Josie Wales.
But get ready, Eric.
He's also the voice actorcredited with providing the
Wilhelm Scream.
Are you fucked?
Wow, that took you by shit.
(05:49):
Surprise.
Eric (05:51):
You can't just hit me with that, Matthew.
Matt (05:54):
Chev Lowley, the flying purple people eater himself, is
the Wilhelm Scream.
Eric (06:02):
Are you fucking kidding me?
Matt (06:05):
And if you're unfamiliar with the Wilhelm Scream, here it
is.
Eric (06:09):
Oh my god, this is the greatest day of my life.
Matt (06:14):
That's the Wilhelm Scream.
That's our man.
Is it such a leaperic tosuggest that Wilhelm is the
protagonist of this song?
And the scream is the scream hemakes when eaten by the purple
people eater who is a liar.
(06:36):
And he just eats people.
Eric (06:38):
He just eats people after he rocks and rolls with them.
Wait, hold on.
Matt, I can't hear you.
Oh shit, I can't hear youanymore.
I think it's because you justdropped the fucking mic.
That's right.
Holy fuck.
I'm sorry, hold on.
I mean to say that's right.
I I think what pissed me offmore wasn't that you thought I
(07:00):
should know that you didn'tassume like you should have
rightly been like the second itstarted happening, like, oh, let
me text Eric immediately.
But later on, as anafterthought, you're like, oh,
maybe we should.
But not only that, you didn'ttell me your rankings.
I had to ask like a beggar onthe street what your fucking
rankings were.
Matt (07:19):
Well, I didn't know you were gonna drag my name through
the mud here.
But yeah, I did I did I didn'tnecessarily uh You're forgiven.
You're forgiven.
Okay.
I don't remember.
Eric (07:33):
Um I forgive you.
But he did pr pretty much,pretty much immediately texted
me back.
They all texted their answersall at once.
I got this lovely, lovelyscreenshot.
Uh just gonna go through these,you know, Matt.
Matt (07:46):
Oh, sure, yeah.
Go ahead, take it away.
Eric (07:48):
Would fuck Poe, marry Lala, kill Dipsy, uh, and
abandon Tinky Winky.
There are four of them we haveto account for that.
Matt (07:55):
So the the fourth one is Tinky Winky's get uh abandoned
or spared, however you want tolook at it.
Eric (08:00):
Lindsay, fuck Tinky Winky, marry Lala, kill Poe, leave out
Dipsy.
Fuck Dipsy, yeah, I got it.
Sarah, fuck Lala, marry TinkyWinky, kill Dipsy, spares Poe.
Uh Carissa, fuck Dipsy, marryLala, kill Tinky Winky, leave
out Dipsyki.
Matt (08:17):
And then you had the odd.
I'm gonna take over thisnarrative.
Fascinating series of takesbefore you bury my name in the
sand and uh our friends as well.
Yeah, you then said this is afascinating series of takes.
That's exactly what you said.
And then now for the correctone, this fucking asshole over
here objectives back.
(08:37):
Fuck Tinky Winky, marry Dipsy,kill Poe, spare La La.
So I don't understand you,Eric.
Would you would you care toexplain your rationale?
I get Tinky Winky, he's 10 feetfucking tall, and you're a
giant, so I get it.
I get it.
Eric (08:52):
We fit.
We fit the eldest, he's theeldest Teletubby.
He's the tallest.
LGBTQ icon.
I don't know if you rememberthat.
I don't know if you rememberthe fucking, like America was
just coated in a fine powder ofpearlescent dust as as people
across the nation just clutchedtheir pearls so hard they
crumbled them to the finestpower over the fact that Tinky
(09:14):
Winky had the audacity to have abag.
Was it Tinky Winky that had thebag?
Oh, yeah, it was Tinky Winky.
Yep, it was the red bag.
People called it a purse.
Uh some people said it's not apurse, it's a bag, it's satchel.
And me over here, I'm like, letme just get at let me get at
this teletope.
Oh, you're right, it was bitchin bag.
Matt (09:33):
Yeah, you're right.
It was Tinky Winky.
Well, Tinky Winky's like 10feet tall.
Like, that's not anexaggeration.
Yeah, no, like Tinky Winkyfucks.
So I get that, but like explainyour rationale to me of why you
would marry Dipsy and not Lala.
So mine's very simple.
(09:54):
I'm happy to, I'm happy tocorrect you right off the bat.
I said fuck Poe because of thatlittle circle thing on the top.
I mean, I feel like that'sfuckable, but not long term.
Now think about Lala.
Lala's got this fuckingcorkscrew thing at the top.
Eric (10:08):
Yeah.
Matt (10:09):
That's fun for years.
You know what I'm saying?
Think of the possibilities youcan do.
Eric (10:13):
But also, like Lala is like the most one of the most
innocent of the teletubbies.
Like it like she sings, sheshe's just out there like
dancing, looking out, like she'sthe Hufflepuff of the
Teletubbies.
I I'm like, you don't want nopart of this mess.
Like, like Lala walks into theroom, there's me, you know, mid
(10:34):
mid-coitus with Tinky Winky,putting the ring on Dipsy's
finger, gun to the head of Poe,and I'm just like, Lala, get out
now.
Go, you don't want no part ofthis.
Leave this one.
Matt (10:46):
Get out now and come to me so we can have a stable,
long-term, loving, and verysexually fulfilling
relationship.
Eric (10:52):
But as to why I'm marrying Dipsy, so named for the
dipstick appendage, the verystraight, like, just like rigid.
It's a fucking dagger.
It's a weapon up there.
Yeah.
Uh so Dipsy is known to be, andI'm all this information coming
to you live from Wikipedia,donate today.
Dipsy is the most they call itstubborn of the Teletubbies and
(11:17):
will refuse to go along with theother's group opinion.
If I'm marrying someone, I wantsome like fucking put me on the
right, like hold meaccountable, fucking put like
fucking no nonsense, fuckingthat kind of stability.
If I'm gonna marry anybody, Imean fucking Dipsy.
I like even I'm not on likeDipsy's not just gonna go along
(11:38):
with bullshit, Dipsy will callme out on it, and that's what I
value.
Matt (11:42):
Yeah, and then you it potentially can that he'll use
baller with that fucking daggerit's got on its head.
Because it's not it'd be easy,it'd be low-hanging fruit to
call it a dildo up there, alittle penis.
It's it is not, it's too it'stoo pointy to be phallic, in my
opinion.
Eric (12:01):
And it's made, it's made of terry cloth.
Matt (12:04):
I don't think it'll be enjoyable when it gets all up in
you.
And I don't think that'ssomething you're considering.
I don't think you'reconsidering the inherent
violence in the head.
Oh, I'm considering it.
Whoever the fuck we're talkingabout.
I forget already.
Dipsy.
Uh my my husband Dipsy.
Eric (12:22):
Yeah.
Well Dipsy Poach.
Dipsy, Dipsy Poach.
I I want Also that just rollsright off the fucking tongue.
Dipsy poach.
Yeah.
Matt (12:32):
I've gone down a rabbit hole from the question, which is
life insurance or carinsurance.
Car insurance is for somethingyou own, part of your property.
Life insurance is for your yourhuman body.
So in the cars universe, it'sgotta be life insurance.
It's gotta be life insurance.
Eric (12:49):
Because also kind of horrifying to think about with
car insurance, there's a pointat which insurance tells you,
no, this is not worth saving.
And if they tell you that whileyou're on the fucking operating
table, not great words to hear.
Yeah, you're totaled.
You're totaled, lightning.
You're totaled.
Matt (13:09):
You're better, it'd be better for your family to just
get a new son.
Eric (13:13):
Jesus Christ.
I'm imagining like themechanics just shit talking.
You're a disaster, my guy.
You're done.
Matt (13:20):
We should just make a new you because there's no point in
bringing this one back.
Eric (13:24):
Bro, we're gonna turn you into license plates.
Matt (13:27):
Yeah.
I'm afraid it's all over foryou.
Uh Ignition off.
So, yeah, I think at the coreof your question there, Conway,
I think it's life insurance.
Eric (13:38):
Life insurance.
Matt (13:39):
I think that makes the most sense too.
Eric (13:40):
If we're having if we need some semblance of of ethics in
this universe, some semblance ofof of fucking just normally.
Matt (13:49):
Because if you want an uh a presentation of good ethics,
get into insurance uh in theUnited States.
Eric (13:56):
That's the correct fact.
Well, I'm speaking purely fromthose like, well, it's either,
yeah, I get my family gets abunch of money if I die, or
versus car insurance, the docsmight just decide halfway
through that to euthanize me.
Matt (14:11):
Anything's possible.
Only in America.
I want to meet a Hershey adult.
But he does have a a rather Iwant to meet a Hershey adult as
well.
I want to meet a Hershey adult.
Yeah.
I want to meet a what it whatis a Hershey adult like?
Yeah, I I don't know.
Maybe I'm stepping out of mylane here, but you're looking at
him, baby.
I think you're a Hershey adult.
I love a Hershey.
I can tell you what my ridingstatus is right off the bat.
(14:35):
What?
Jolly Rancher, baby.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You Jolly Rancher?
Have you been you've been toHershey Park?
Eric (14:42):
I've been to Hershey Park many a time.
Matt (14:43):
Yeah, you're a Jolly Rancher.
You're beyond a Jolly Rancher.
I am the Jolly Rancher.
You sure are, buddy.
You sure are.
Eric (14:52):
Uh Disney adults.
Um they not only know, theyhave the park rides down to a
science.
Like they have their own likespecial tailored formula for
what order to attend the ridesfrom Max.
They know the secret paths togo down.
They know the secret paths.
They know all you they're theones giving you tours of each
(15:14):
ride while you're on them.
Matt (15:15):
But it goes beyond a relationship with the park.
I think it it has a like adedication to every new Disney
movie that comes out.
Oh there's there's a dedicationto like I like Disney, but I'm
not automatically seeing everynew animated movie that comes
(15:37):
out.
I it's gotta get hyped to mefirst.
Yes.
Eric (15:40):
And even then, maybe I I I gotta get the oh, have you seen
Encanto before I'm like, yeah,there's a new Disney movie out?
Matt (15:50):
Like that is how I saw Encanto.
Yeah.
Like because so many people arelike, oh my god, it's so good,
you gotta see it.
And it was like, all right,we'll turn that on, turn this
on, you know, like but like I amnot like counting down days to
release days of just children'smovies by my but without some
context.
Eric (16:08):
I know people who were planning tattoos based off of
characters before the show,before the movie even dropped.
Just because like they go, theygo in hard.
Matt (16:18):
Yeah, I think there is I don't know, it is hard to even
trying to lay down these hardand fast like qualifications of
like you are a Disney adult.
Is I'm finding it a littledifficult because there is like
this ephemeral nature.
Eric (16:36):
Here, here's what it is.
Matt, let's say we're on afirst date.
Every every episode's a firstdate.
There, thank you.
There are certain things thatlike you're kind of uh obligated
to bring up on a first date ifif they qualify for you.
Like like I have a kid.
Yes, I I like that kind ofstuff, like I I or like I was
(17:00):
married, I was divorced, likestuff like like just like stuff
that's good for the otherperson.
The headline news, yes.
If one of your first datepreambles is I have a particular
relationship with Disney, likeif you have to like prime the
other human being, like, hey,you need to know this about like
(17:21):
you need to know what you'resigning on to.
We're gonna be going to theparks, we're gonna be we're
gonna be getting dinner in theEnchanted Castle.
Matt (17:27):
Or if they in any way are able to put that together
without you saying that, let'ssay you whip out a Mickey Mouse
credit card, or have have anysort of Disney iconography
anywhere on your person.
Eric (17:46):
Yeah.
Matt (17:48):
Yeah, I think you're a Disney adult.
Eric (17:50):
If after, like, you know, a very successful first date,
you know, establishing commoninterests and stuff, turns out
you both love it.
If your wedding invitations,like if the save the dates have
be our guest on them.
Your motherfucking Disneyadult.
Not that there's anything wrongwith that.
Matt (18:11):
I think, I think it's a little like porn.
Go on.
You know it when you see it.
Eric (18:22):
Oh, I didn't know you were busting out the Supreme Court's
definition of lewd acts.
Matt, do you do you ever askLindsay or does Lindsay ever ask
you like hypotheticals?
Like oh yeah.
Like like relationshiphypotheticals.
Uh uh Probably.
(18:42):
Give me an example.
Um very, very common one thesedays.
You'll see it around often.
Um my girlfriend has asked methis.
The question, would you stilllove me if I was a worm?
Oh, sure, yeah.
Yeah, like standard fare.
Like that kind of stuff.
Umyssa has asked me that noless than like three dozen
(19:03):
times.
Matt (19:03):
Like she'll say, Yeah, and I hope you said no.
I mean, you're not gonna beseen with no worm, right?
Eric (19:07):
I would I I would be seen with a worm.
If she was that worm.
That's disappointing.
She's good little worm.
Get her, get a little, get alittle jar, put some some put
some dirt leaves in there.
Keep her gotta keep her moistin the recreate her environment.
Yeah, I gotta mist her everynow and then.
Yeah, give her a little goodmiss.
So here's the questions I askmy my partner.
(19:31):
Um and I I'm gonna share thequestion with you.
Um, it's the post-apocalypse.
And in this scenario, you'regonna be my girlfriend, that I
thought I already was, so thatworks for me.
So here we go.
Babe.
Yeah, it's the post-apocalypse.
Society has well aware of that.
You tell me every day.
(19:51):
Yeah, no, but like actual, likeit is we are we are full-blown,
it we are mad-maxing, fightingover the irradiated wastes of
Dundalk.
Like, we're in a scavengingparty, we have uh armor made out
of tires, someone's got afootball helmet on with spikes.
Matt (20:11):
Babe, we're eating a roast rabbit.
I know this.
Why are you telling me?
Eric (20:15):
Okay, but like if in this post, if it was the
post-apocalypse, and if we werein the like we're we're out,
we're out there fighting, and inthe middle of the fight, we're
we're we're fighting somemutants.
Um and I I get I get wounded,and you see the the mutant.
The mutants have me.
They're they've got like theirtheir hooks in me, and they're
(20:36):
like dragging me off, and likethey're they're they've captured
me.
I am I am in the middle.
I am they're going to take me.
It's over for you.
Yeah.
And there is nothing goodwaiting for me back at the at
like the murder dome.
I can't imagine.
Um, would you shoot me betweenthe eyes?
Like, would you right rightbetween the eyes?
(20:57):
Like, would you put would youwould you would you as opposed
to try to rescue you?
No, no, no, no.
That like that's what I mean.
Like, we're you it is we arelosing this fight.
There's no like they if theytake me, they're like, you're
never gonna see me again, atleast not in this shape.
Matt (21:13):
And you want me to hawkeye last of the Mohicans you
immediately?
Eric (21:18):
Yeah, like like would you be willing?
Like, would you do that if yousaw them?
They are they are taking me, Iam gone.
No, you wouldn't.
I would try to rescue youfirst.
You know what's fucked up?
Alyssa said she would.
Matt (21:31):
Yeah, okay, that's why I'm telling you, don't be with a
worm, Eric.
Eric (21:35):
I Matt, I spent like never trust a worm.
To Alyssa's credit, she spent15 minutes trying to like Mr.
Smith goes to Washington.
She was like, but she was like,you she's like, you swear
there's like nothing I can do.
I was like, Alyssa, there'snothing you can do.
It is it is a foregoneconclusion.
Goodbye.
I the best thing that'll happento me is I'm eaten.
(21:58):
Like, that is all right, it is,and she's like, fucking, like,
she's agonizing over thisdecision.
Matt (22:05):
All right, so I would do it.
I'm gonna give you a differenthypothetical.
All right, yeah, because youknow, I I don't uh you know, I'm
making a bit here, Alyssa.
I know you're listening.
Calm down.
Everything's alright.
No, no one's coming for yourworm man, okay.
It's not your fault that you'rea worm, okay?
(22:25):
A little tiny worm who won't gorescue her man.
You you don't worry, man.
How can I rescue your fuckingworm?
Yeah, what are you even gonnado?
Okay, it's okay.
It's okay.
But I do think this is a goodopportunity to change the
hypothetical ever so slightly toinclude because you don't you
you have a girlfriend.
(22:46):
I don't need to be yourhypothetical girlfriend, okay?
What I am, however, is if Icould be so bold, the only other
important relationship in yourlife.
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
For that reason, let's changethe hypothetical slightly to
there's Alyssa, there's me, andthere's you getting abducted by
the meat hook goblins.
Eric (23:06):
Yeah, yes, yes.
Matt (23:08):
Okay.
Eric (23:08):
They are chanting to their the the undetonated nuke that
they have back at their basethat they work.
Matt (23:15):
Absolutely, that they worship every night.
Yes, absolutely.
You're the gonna be thesacrifice, and God only knows
what that sacrifice looks like.
Eric (23:22):
Oh, it does not involve me having skin, I can tell you
this much.
Matt (23:25):
So there's Alyssa.
She's gonna be she's gonna beweeping, she's gonna be taking
out her her her pipe rifle, youknow.
Yes, her ramshackle glossfashioned together, and very
cute, too.
Eric (23:38):
Like she paints like little little little cute little
creatures and stuff like that.
Matt (23:41):
Oh, and she's gonna be crying.
The tears.
Eric (23:42):
Oh, the tears.
Oh, yes.
It's gonna be a little bitmore.
It'll be very aesthetic.
Matt (23:45):
It'll be very good because she's gonna know what she has
to do.
You've had this conversation,right?
There's no help for you.
You're going down, sugar.
And she takes that gun, sheadjusts her sight through the
tears.
And you can hear like the Yes,you can hear all that.
She's got it pointed.
(24:06):
You guys are locked in eyecontact.
The only people in the world,you're barely aware that you're
gonna be able to do it.
I'm mouthing the words do it.
Do it, you're mouthing thewords do it, and they've got
their meat hook hands directlyinto your skin because they only
have hooks for hands.
They don't have hands.
And so they're just gotcha,you're bleeding out.
And she she wraps that fingerof hers around the trigger, and
(24:31):
then a slap to the face as Igrab the pipe rifle and say, get
back, worm, and charge intobattle.
You're not going down withoutme, you son of a bitch!
Eric (24:41):
You get your hands off of my lanky friend.
In Dungeons and Dragons, thereare mechanics like initiative,
action, and bonus action.
What would some of those be inreal life for your own reality?
And why would you choose thoseto be your actions and bonus
actions and such?
And what would your initiativebe?
Matt (25:00):
To advocate for those who might not be familiar.
What is the difference betweenan action and a bonus action?
Eric (25:05):
Uh, action, so everyone on their turn in combat, you get
actions.
Uh, and you you can use anaction to attack, you can use an
action to cast a spell most ofthe time.
Um, and then a bonus action,there's like a huge list of
bonus actions you can take, andthis can be stuff like taking a
five-foot step away from anenemy or preparing to do
(25:25):
something else.
And like you can there's a lotof options for what you can do,
but you only get like one bonusaction.
So it's like the little thingyou can do in addition to the
thing, like I can smack a goblinwith a sword, and then as a
bonus action, I can ready mycrossbow for the next round.
Got it.
Like stuff like that.
I feel like my bonus actions, avast majority of the time, are
(25:45):
a second, a second skill checkto try to correct the thing I
just missed or fucked up.
Like you have attempted to putthis thing on a shelf.
You have knocked over threethings in the process.
Roll bonus action to try tocatch them.
Try to stop that from happening.
Yeah.
If it isn't the consequences ofmy own actions, back again for
(26:06):
revenge.
Welcome back.
I did have a very fun moment uhthe other day.
I I pulled a real life bluffcheck against a cop um because I
was driving home from work andon this long, it's like this
long stretch of road before youget to my neighborhood.
And typically on this road,it's just a long stretch of road
(26:27):
with like a single light, uh,but there's a lot of side roads.
So usually like I'll be drivingalong and a car will suddenly
like start slowing down orstopping to turn down one of
these side roads, but theremight be cars coming though.
It's a two-lane road, like onegoing one way, one going the
other way.
You all know you're familiarwith roads.
You know, roads, am I right?
Am I?
Come on, listen to this.
Well, usually, like if a personstops there and there's like a
(26:49):
bunch of cars coming theopposite way, I'll be stuck
there for a while waiting forthis person to like turn it.
So I'll just like do that thingwhere you kind of dip around
them on the shoulder, becauselike there's plenty of shoulder.
So you just do the little dip.
Yeah, just do that little thingthat breaks the law.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Um so I did that.
Kind of a bad boy, kind of akind of a rebel.
Put us in the comments for moreroad content.
(27:11):
Yeah.
But I went to do that.
I saw this guy stopping, and II you know, because I'm lazy,
and which has already beenestablished as driving on the
shoulder momentarily,momentarily, because I'm lazy, I
I got over on the shoulderearly.
So I was I was hanging out inthat shoulder for like a second.
There's only like two or threecars on this road, by the way.
It's not like there was trafficand I was riding the shoulder.
(27:33):
Those people can go to hell.
But as I'm passing this car, Irealize it wasn't just one car
stopped, it was like three, andsandwiched between three cars
was a fucking cop.
So the cop just had this lovelyview of me driving up the
shoulder.
At which point, as soon as Isee the, I look over, see the
cop, and my brain reflexively, Ihit the emergency blinkers on
(27:53):
the car and I pull to a stop andI park.
And then the cop pulls up,like, because the cop did that
thing.
As soon as I passed him, hestarted, he started like like
moving to to engage.
He pulls up beside me, he'slike, hey, everything all right.
And I just, without eventhinking, I'm like, oh yeah,
check engine light came on.
I just wanted to pull over,check under the hood, make sure
everything's okay.
And he's like, Oh yeah, thatmakes sense.
(28:14):
And he drives.
Eric.
Did you get out of the car andcheck over the hood?
Oh, motherfucker, you betterbelieve her.
As long as that cop car was inline of sight of me, I got out
of the car, lifted the hood,touched the touched a finger to
my chin, like, mmm, yeah.
Matt (28:31):
Let's just see what's going on in the air.
Eric (28:33):
That's an engine.
Still here.
Matt (28:35):
Yeah.
Just as I suspected, that's thewindshield washer.
Eric (28:40):
I literally, I opened it up and just said out loud to no
one but me, I was like, Yep,that's an engine.
It's checked.
I do the same shit.
And then got back in the car,waited a beat, and then pulled
off.
Pull the dipstick out.
Huh.
Matt (28:56):
I haven't pulled one of these out in quite some time.
I really have not.
I don't change my own oil.
Come on.
What am I?
A peasant.
What are you?
Eric (29:04):
A minicing?
What were we talking aboutbefore you accuse.
No, I I don't want to create aclassist society, Matthew.
I want to create a classysociety.
I want I classy and notclassist.
Where a warlock can earn by thesweat of his brow and and the
(29:25):
the the leather of his tome.
Yes.
Go off, King.
Matt (29:34):
Come on.
Come on, tell me.
Tell me how it could be.
Eric (29:39):
Oh man.
Where where where a thief ahumble thief or a humble thief
can can steal an an Aladdinesque loaf of bread with
impunity and level up fromstreet rat to prince.
Oh my god, yes.
Where where your local priestcan kick the ass of the demon
(30:06):
that's inhabiting you know youryour spouse.
Literally smite the shit out ofhim.
Matt (30:12):
Yeah, I kind of lost what Disney film we're talking about
now.
Eric (30:15):
I where a simple village girl can go from simple village
girl to level 20 fighter overthe course of a movie.
Indeed.
And save all of China.
Matt (30:30):
Yeah, but that was only with the help of uh Donnie
Osmond.
Oh, I always forget that DonnieOsmond.
Through the power of song.
But only the singing voice.
He's only the singing voice.
Yes.
Oh man, good old Donnie.
I think they almost got itright.
Eric (30:46):
You heard it here first, folks.
Matt thinks they almost got9-11 right.
Didn't have that one on thebingo card.
God.
Matt (30:57):
That I I never claimed that Fallout Boy was responsible
for 9-11.
I never claimed that.
All I said is it can't beproven.
It can't be proven.
Eric (31:09):
Just look at the facts.
Do your own research.
Matthew.
Where were you?
Where were you, Fallout Boy?
Matt (31:16):
Where were you, Fallout Boy?
Anyway, the origin the originalWe didn't start the Fire ends
with JFK blown away.
What else do I have to say?
Poetry in motion, Billy.
Yes.
I think it is appropriate to agenerational equivalent, so to
speak, in terms of where wereyou type events, that they put
(31:38):
9-11 in the same spot as whereJFK blown away was.
Eric (31:43):
That scans.
That absolutely scans.
Matt (31:45):
But what their lyric is, and uh same beat, you know, same
everything.
It's just cover with differentlyrics.
What their lyric is world tradesecond plane.
What else do I have to say?
Eric (31:58):
And here's what I would say.
What what what what would youhave done in fall in Mr.
Boy's shoes?
Matt (32:04):
If you're going to put it there as an homage to the like
the uh the level of incidentthat the original song is
referencing at that exact samespot part of the song, why with
this particular event, and Idon't mean to, you know, sound
indelicate, yeah, why would younot keep it world trade blown
(32:28):
away?
Eric (32:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Also, they could they wereperfectly set up to go with
something like Osama Seal Teams,jet fuel doesn't melt steel
beams.
Matt (32:42):
Eric, Eric, that is so much better than any lyric in
either version of the song.
Eric (32:47):
That was right off the fucking dome.
Matt (32:49):
Eric, you're a fucking bard, my guy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're a fucking poet, my guy.
Eric (32:55):
Yeah.
Who wasted a theater degreenow, dad?
Matt (32:59):
Yeah.
Dad.
Now, the other thing that hesays that I think is
interesting.
This is Mr.
Mr.
Boy again.
They reference Michael Jordantwice.
Okay?
Twice?
Eric (33:15):
Yeah.
Please tell me at least one ofthose references was to the film
like Mike.
Matt (33:20):
No.
Fucking fuck off.
I believe the lyrics, in fact,are that are simply just Michael
Jordan 23 and then laterMichael Jordan 45.
Eric (33:32):
Yes, that is literally what they just listed his names
and his jersey number and theother jersey number you've never
heard of.
Matt (33:41):
But so they're referencing when he like came out of
retirement, right?
Yeah.
And so what I would say is,okay, you've got another
precedent of we didn't start thefire for this in Richard Nixon,
and then later Richard Nixonback again.
So why wouldn't you keepMichael Jordan and match it with
(34:01):
Michael Jordan back again?
Do I have to do everyone's jobfor them, Eric?
It was right there.
It was right there.
And they ignored all that.
And also they threw in ever forthe uh, as you may recall,
Trouble in the Suez is featuredin the first song.
(34:23):
So I would say, hey, we've hadtrouble in the Suez recently.
You could keep the same fuckingweird.
Eric (34:31):
And that makes it funnier.
Matt (34:32):
It makes it funnier because we know what it is.
Yeah.
And we know what you're doing.
But they said, Ever given Suez.
Okay.
Eric (34:40):
And I know wait, it's ever given.
Matt (34:42):
And oh my God.
Ever given Suez.
Ever given, comma Suez.
And like what I would say islike, we all know what you're
gonna reference.
Why don't you keep the samestructure?
I would have written backup inthe Suez.
Boom.
There it is.
Or keep it as trouble.
Eric (35:01):
Trouble, trouble, trouble.
Yeah.
Um, oh, you could have youcould have hit it with Morty
Enric Sanchez backup in theSuez.
Like it's right.
Matt (35:11):
Like you could have Morty Enric Sanchez backup in the
Suez?
Eric, fuck you! Off the dome.
Give me something else.
Eric (35:22):
Oh fuck.
Um give me an OJ lyric.
Matt (35:28):
They didn't have an OJ lyric.
Give me an OJ lyric.
Eric (35:30):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Um oh, I've I've I've got itonce I've got the second half,
just gotta download the firsthalf.
Matt (35:47):
Is this helping or hurting?
Eric (35:48):
No, this is this is yeah.
Um wait, I have it.
I have it.
Give me a moment.
Uh the best part is you canedit all this out so I sound way
more clever.
Um I can.
Uh not gonna.
You could hit him with hit himwith this.
Hit him with this.
Uh Ronda Santis, don't say gay,white Bronco, OJ.
(36:10):
Eric fucking poach.
Got you, baby.
I got you.
I'll bring it in.
Matt (36:18):
Bring it in over time.
I don't I don't even know whatI shouldn't have been.
You know what?
They approached me from DerryKing asked me for my opinion,
and you laughed.
You said, ha ha ha, they're notcoming to me.
Let me tell you something,Eric.
You are you are like a BillyJoel savant.
And then there's Flawn.
(36:38):
And then there's Flawn, sure.
Then there's fucking and then,oh, hold on.
Who's who's this bursting in onthe other side, settling in
themselves down in the corner?
Oh my god, it's CongressmanCannoli.
Hello.
Eric (36:56):
Oh shit.
Matt (36:58):
Hello, everybody.
Hey, Fron, let me tell yousomething.
How about you sit the fuck downand let the adults talk, okay?
Eric (37:07):
God damn it.
Yeah.
No, I didn't, I didn'tanticipate the c I did not
anticipate the cannoli.
Matt (37:14):
No one ever fucking anticipates Congressman Cannoli.
Oh my god.
That's what I'm saying, Eric.
There are so many desserts, andyou settled on Flan so quickly.
Governor Cannoli.
Governor Cannoli, a question.
Fucking please.
I'm just a humble congressperson.
Eric (37:32):
Sir, what do you Sir?
What do you what do you have tosay about the allegations?
The allegations that you sentto me, okay.
Matt (37:40):
Hey, hey, smart ass, huh?
You want to bring up fuckingdirty laundry, okay?
I can tell you something.
I know some people who get yourdirty laundry out here real
quick, okay?
You got anything else you wantto say?
You got anything else you wantto say?
That's what I fucking thought.
Sit the fuck down, buddy.
Eric (37:59):
That's my president.
That's my president.
Matt (38:02):
Yeah, yeah.
Now, if you excuse me, I'mgonna say some real racist shit
to Flan over here.
I just wanted to make cannoligreat again.
Eric (38:16):
No, I don't like what we're doing to Cannoli.
Yeah, I know.
Cannoli's going down a dark,twisted path.
But hey, hey, I didn't see anyother desserts on 9-11.
We can't make that the title,but God, I want that to be the
title so badly.
Matt (38:38):
I can't believe this episode has gone so far off the
rails immediately.
Somehow we're 35 minutes intothis bitch.
And we're so like, yeah, what Iwill say we haven't answered a
single question from a human.
We're posting a Republicandebate with desserts.
Eric (38:59):
What is the literal Margarita Rest re uh
Margaritaville restaurant forus?
And what is the ethereal,intangible, the Margaritaville
of which Jimmy sings for us?
Matt (39:13):
Well, Eric, at the risk of stepping on a Pop Tart and
blowing out my flip-flop, Ithink did you just say to me?
I said at the risk of steppingon a Pop Tart and blowing out a
flip-flop.
Eric (39:29):
Were you just quoting James Buffett to me?
I believe I was.
Matthew, I am sorry.
Oh Lord, let me get my phone.
Matt (39:44):
Wasted away again.
Oh, he knows the path rightdown my loins.
Oh so at the risk of steppingon a pop ton and blowing out
with flip-flop.
I think that the restaurant,the the actual tune, all of it,
(40:05):
all of it, the margarita mixes,all come down to the theme of
the song, which is of coursealcoholism, but the spirit of
the thing.
Eric (40:18):
A closed second theme.
Matt (40:20):
A close second is a place for you to go and drown your
sorrows because you fucked upyour life.
Eric (40:30):
Everything was bad, but now it's okay.
It's fine.
Matt (40:34):
So, or or we could answer all three.
In which case, I know theanswer, I think, to the what is
our Margaritaville?
The song, the like, what are wegonna play to make ourselves
feel better song?
Eric (40:47):
Okay, hit me with it.
Matt (40:49):
I think that the song that our generation already rallies
around.
Eric (40:55):
Yeah.
Our our anthem, ourMargaritaville.
Matt (40:58):
A candidate rises from the ashes, a savior sticks his hand
out of the debris, and thatsavior's name is Mr.
Brightside.
Eric (41:09):
Oh yeah.
Matt (41:12):
Yeah.
Come on.
Millennials love a fucking Mr.
Brightside moment.
Eric (41:17):
Coming out of our cage, and we were doing just fine.
Started out with my littleshaker of soul.
How did it end up like this?
So oh fucking Christ.
Some people say that there's awoman to blame, and she's called
the kiss, and my stomach is.
It was only a kiss.
Matt (41:39):
It works really well.
Eric (41:41):
Oh my god, this is the mashup.
Please, please, someonelistening to this, you know a
SoundCloud DJ.
Please.
Matt (41:51):
Someone, someone, oops.
I ruined it from TikTok.
Give us Mr.
Bright Side to the tune ofMargaritaville.
I beg you.
Oh my god.
It stepped on a pop top.
That just that just crashedinto my brain.
(42:21):
I was saying, Eric, I said withauthority multiple times.
I said multiple times on thispodcast, stepped up and someone
has been screaming pop top.
Someone's been composing thetweet already.
Someone has been fuckingpunching their phone.
And it just it just hit me.
(42:42):
We were in the middle ofanother bit, and all of a
sudden, Jimmy Buffett came intomy brain to say, hey, just so
you know, it's not a fucking poptart.
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