Mistakes, Shame & Self-Worth: Why Admitting “I Was Wrong” Is Powerful

Episode overview

We dig into our complicated relationship with mistakes - why being wrong can feel threatening, how that ties to self-worth, and what changes when we choose honesty over image. From tween apologies to boardroom dread, to the ways we over-apologise without really owning it, we explore how admitting fault builds trust, lightens the emotional load, and strengthens relationships (including with ourselves).

Key discussion points

• Why it’s hard to be wrong: perfection messages at school, and fear of judgment make mistakes feel like a threat to identity.
• Self-worth traps: When your worth is pegged to “being capable/strong/reliable,” being wrong can feel like you are wrong.
• Surface vs. sincere apologies: The difference between smoothing things over (“sorry, but…”) and true accountability (“I was wrong - no excuses”).
• Parenting & modelling: Cheering mistakes, apologising to our kids, and how that normalises repair.
• Trauma & perspective shifts: How big losses recalibrate what matters - and make letting go of “being right” easier.
  
  
  
• Listener takeaways
• Try this reframe: “Being wrong doesn’t make me unworthy - it makes me human.”
• Micro-reps for honesty: Practice small admissions -“You’re right, I forgot” - without scrambling for excuses.
• Notice & name it: When defensiveness rises, ask: Am I defending my point - or my worth?
• Model what you want: Apologise to your kids/partner/friends; show that repair is normal and safe.
• Release the armor: Honesty reduces shame, restores energy, and deepens trust.
  
  
  

Join the conversation

We’d love to hear from you: when was the last time you admitted you were wrong? Did it make you feel weaker, or did it actually make you feel stronger? Share your experience with us-send us a DM or a voice note. These are the kinds of stories that remind us we’re not alone, and the more we talk about them, the easier it gets.

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Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

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Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.