The Messy–Tidy Divide: It’s Not About Laziness | YKMS

Episode Overview

This week, we’re lifting the lid on one of life’s everyday divides: the messy vs tidy debate. But we’re not here to hand out gold stars for perfect homes or shame anyone for clutter. Instead, we’re exploring what lies beneath our habits: how our upbringing, nervous systems, and life stages shape the way we live in our spaces.

From coat hanger standoffs to emotional wiring, we share our completely opposite approaches to order (and chaos), the judgments we’ve faced, and the surprising science behind mess and creativity. Whether you’re the “everything in its place” type or someone who can happily ignore a pile on the stairs, this episode is all about understanding (and accepting) the way you’re built.

Key Discussion Points

• Opposite ends of the spectrum: Aileen’s comfort with chaos vs Julie’s need for order.
• Nervous system clues: Why some of us find calm in clutter and others feel anxious until everything is put away.
• Childhood influence: How emotional temperature at home can shape our relationship with tidiness.
• The science bit: Studies linking clutter to creativity, risk-taking, and even cortisol levels.

Listener Takeaways

• Being tidy doesn’t make you “better,” and being messy doesn’t mean you don’t care - it’s often about how you regulate and what feels safe.
• Your space can reflect your internal state, but it can also influence it.
• Talk openly if you live with your opposite - it’s about understanding, not winning.
• Give yourself permission to keep your home in a way that works for your stage of life and nervous system.

Links

We refer again to Lauren from Perfect Home Organisation - Aileen got her in to her home and Lauren was amazing! 

👉Follow Lauren at @perfectspacehomeorganisation
👉Check out her Amazon shop + WhatsApp community  via her website:

https://www.perfectspacehomeorganisation.com/

Join the Conversation

Where do you sit on the messy–tidy spectrum? Do you thrive in chaos or only relax in order? We’d love to hear how you navigate differences in your household. Drop us a DM or voice note and let us know.

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Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

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Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.