February 11, 2025 • 33 mins
This episode captures the heartfelt reunion of Cheryl and Eileen as they reflect on their ten-year friendship, the importance of connection, and the creative journeys they've undertaken. They share personal updates, discuss the complexities of maintaining long-term relationships, and explore how creativity and expression can foster deeper connections amidst loneliness.
• Celebrating ten years of meaningful friendship
• Cheryl's transformative experience in publishing three books
• Eileen's exploration of dance and self-expression
• The impact of community and support on personal growth
• Discussing the psychological shift in friendships over time
• Navigating loneliness in a digital age
• The importance of meaningful connections and vulnerability
• Encouraging creativity as a path to joy and connection
• Future plans to continue engaging with listeners
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey kids, we're back.
I am Cheryl Cantafio.
I am here with my fantastic,wonderful friend co-host, and in
case you didn't remember whatour podcast was called, it's
called you Only Go Once and weexplore stories around the
limited time we have on thisearth to create a fully layered
(00:20):
life.
So we're back and I know backin July of last year we had put
out a brief announcement justsaying we have a lot of stuff
going on and we're going to takea sabbatical for the summer.
So, yeah, that sabbaticallasted more than we expected and
for many good reasons, but nowwe kind of missed one another
(00:42):
and we missed the space.
And yeah, we just want to kindof come back and talk about you
know, just have this lovelyconversation between the two of
us and just to hold the space,for people are feeling a little
bit lonely out there on socialmedia doesn't mean that the
(01:04):
stuff you're doing doesn't count, because it does, because
you're living life, and you'reliving life large, and sometimes
you're living life quietly andall of that, no matter what the
volume of your life is, it'sgood and keep doing the things
that you're doing.
So that's where we are.
So I mean long time no talking.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
No, my God, so long at least here.
So I will get listeners justquickly.
Cheryl and I don't just connecton the podcast.
We've obviously been a hugepart of each other's lives now
for years.
Has it been a decade?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yes, it has, yes, it has, yes, it has Ten years Ten
years.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
My friend, I know all the amazing things We'll get
into, some of the stuff we'vebeen up to since we kind of took
this great pause, this back interms of showing up for each
other and you know, out loud andin a space and what it means to
(02:13):
show up for each other in anytime and space, right Through
the good stuff, through thethings that are complicated and
hard, and celebrating thewonderful and really being in it
fully with each other.
And that's some of the stuffthat we're going to be talking
(02:35):
about in this year to come, togo with just the two of us
catching up, checking in, seeingwhere we're at, but also
talking through some things thattouch us.
And I don't know about you, butI never got lessons or learned
(02:57):
what it meant to really have agrown-up adult friendship or how
you do that right andeveryone's different, so there's
no exact path for that.
But obviously now, after 10years of having this in-person
friendship and now bi-coastalfriendship that we've had,
(03:20):
there's just so much that I feellike it's kind of an incredible
thing where I think someone wassaying something.
I'm gonna have to look this up,but there was something
somewhere where someone wassaying there's like a seven year
shedding or something like that, where after seven years you
start kind of you shift in theway that your friends and who
you're friends with and who youmaintain friendships with and
(03:43):
things, and yeah, I just thoughtthat was fascinating kind of
learning how we, the people thatsurround us, and how that
changes.
But how do you maintainlong-term friendship?
right right, but also justfucking, how are we doing?
What is going on on?
(04:04):
And God, what is going on?
There's so much and for anyone,my heart goes out to everybody
right now.
Just in general.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
January has felt like a full year.
So you know, just yeah, we're.
You know, I don't know, I don'teven know what to say.
(04:36):
It's just felt like a full year.
I'll just put it out there andsay that Eileen and I are, and
always will be, pro-deib.
That's not going away from us,and we've prided ourselves on
having guests from all differentbackgrounds.
And when we're ready to returnto that space of interviewing
other guests, our diversity,equity, inclusion and belonging
(05:01):
principles will remain the same.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
yep, equally um, thank you, thank you for saying
that and I'm glad and totallyagree, stand by that
wholeheartedly.
Um, yeah, and it's weird, it'sweird to have to say it, it's
not to say it.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
It's not what I even mean.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I think you meant, in a time and space, to continue
to declare that is wild, correct, correct.
So how are you?
How are you, my friend?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I am fine.
I, you know, this is fine,everything's fine, it's fine,
Everything's fine.
See what you say, it's fine,everything's fine.
You know, last year felt heavybut it's a year that brought a
lot of wonderful things for me.
I had published not just twobooks but three books in the
(06:00):
span of a small space.
I never expected to publishthree in one year and it just
kind of all got goofy.
I took a different stance.
So Eileen knows this, I'm anintrovert.
I have like seven friends.
I'm perfectly content in thatspace, and books, when you
(06:21):
publish them, have a funny wayof saying no, you need to
actually talk about us now.
I was fortunate enough to joina group of writers and those
that have published.
I just want to give a shout outto the friends that I have
because they also looked out forme during this time and said,
hey, you may want to try this orhey, you want to try that.
(06:42):
Normally my introvert personwould be like that's a weekend,
that's my sacred time, and Ijust said yes to everything.
Sometimes when you say yes toeverything, you realize that
that's a lot of time, but I'mgrateful for every single moment
of it.
I did local author events nearme and I was truly humbled by
(07:06):
how many people came out.
I got to do an event at ourlocal zoo, which is amazing, and
just got to see what incrediblelessons I learned from that.
I got to do a horror conventionwhich is… that's right, you
(07:36):
have the hunkers to me, right?
That's right, given invasion.
They said something like hey, afriend of ours has a
horror-related poetry book.
They were like hey, have hersign up for this.
And it was the first eventafter I published the book.
(07:58):
So it was like the Saturdayafter I published my book and I
was fascinated by the response.
I will tell you.
I walked in that event and Ilaughed because I thought, well,
you've got people promotingtheir true horror films.
They've got horror themedtchotchkes, there are so many
other things.
And I'm here, going here withmy puppetry book I hope you like
it, they're so funny.
(08:19):
And I went with my friend,julie and I think she was
equally surprised.
So you have basically twointroverts that are kind of
hanging out at a horrorconvention, going what are we
doing?
And it was lovely.
Not only did I have that poetrybook, which is A Place no
Flowers Grow, but I also had thepoetry book that was dedicated
(08:42):
to the loss of my mom there, andI couldn't believe how
positively received both bookswere.
It was an incredible learningopportunity.
I'm doing it again this yearand it seemed from there
everything just kind of blew up.
It was oh, this means I can bea little bit braver.
So I went to certain largerbookstores and said, hey, I have
(09:05):
this book.
Would you be interested in abook signing?
Much to my surprise, I had fourof those last year, which is
unbelievable to me.
In addition to that, I releaseda children's book.
It has been such a learningexperience.
Just a shout out to our localbook authors group.
There's two, so there's theBook Authors of Southeastern
(09:25):
Pennsylvania.
Thank you to that group forbeing so inclusive and also to
the Norristown and NorritonAuthor Alliance for setting up
additional opportunities that Iprobably would have never even
heard of.
I love those communities somuch and they've enabled a
little bit of brave in me and Iappreciate that so much.
And they've enabled a littlebit of brave in me and I
appreciate that so much.
(09:46):
I also did my second Mud Girlrun, which is not book related,
and if any of you would see me,you know I'm not meant for
athletics.
That was quite interesting andalso just an amazing moment with
amazing women supporting a goodcause.
And then just all the holidaystuff.
I had a very intimate holidaywith family.
(10:09):
It was wonderful.
We just had a good time beingtogether and hanging out.
It was lovely.
So I think that brings me up todate in terms of Some of the
things that I did during oursummer sabbatical slash, winter
sabbatical slash.
Here we are probably a littlebit longer than we expected to
(10:32):
be away, but we were busy, soI'm going to hand it over to
Eileen now.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Eileen Well, you've had a lot Not yet, not yet, not
yet.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Okay, so I'm not handing it back to Eileen.
Apparently Not yet.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Just a moment you did not mention the names of your
books, so please do that.
Oh, I did.
I'm going to hear Barry.
Did you say?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Barry.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I didn't say.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Barry, that's true.
So listen if you're.
So there's a couple thingsthere's A Place no Flowers Grow,
which was the poetic tale.
There's a couple of thingsthere's A Place no Flowers Grow,
which was the poetic tale.
That one was kind of myfavorite of the year because it
was different poems that tell atale of three main characters.
Very cautionary tale.
(11:18):
It was a mess around and findout kind of tale.
There's that one, there's onecalled, and it is a what we call
a chapbook called, and it is awhat we call a chapbook.
It is very teensy, tiny, but itis called the She-Wolf Sonnet
and it is eight sonnets thattell a tale of a she-wolf who
realizes she's not the only gamein town.
So that was the surprise book.
(11:38):
I love it so good.
And then the final one is andI'll just shout out to my
illustrator, nicole Elwood, whodid just a lovely job of
embracing the world of Barry.
The book is called Barry and theBig Jump.
It is about a little tinyjumping spider who's not
necessarily great at jumping,but he gets invited by his three
(12:00):
award winning big jump siblingsto participate in a four spider
broad jump.
And it's him going.
Oh, I said yes, and oh, what doI do now?
So it's kind of like his littlejourney and I love it.
A couple of people have saidtheir littles really enjoy this
as a bedtime story, so it's forall your littles who are big
(12:24):
dreamers, and something to readat bedtime as well, apparently.
So those are the books.
More to come.
I'm working on another one andthen I'm working on a graphic
novel version of A Place noFlowers Grow, which should be
wicked cool.
I also owe the otherillustrator for that.
Another 10 poems.
More to come on that for thisyear, but I'm hoping that that
(12:46):
comes out in september.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
All right, cool, so I'm not sorry, you needed to say
that.
There you go, thanks eileen,you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
So you also had an interesting year right.
You celebrated through dance.
Do you want to talk a littlebit about that?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
yeah, um gosh, uh, when did?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I mean, that's not the only thing.
Take a break.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, what was it?
june I something like that yeah,so in that period of time I
finished well, I'm just gonna gochronologically because it
helps me, so that I'm notforgetting things, and I will
forget things because that'sjust how it works.
But, um, so I finished mypsychedelic practitioners core
(13:29):
training and finished my warriorexams at the end of july, which
was awesome and definitelylooking for ways to develop
practice there.
I'm really fascinated and thisis camille, I mean, this is like
a whole other episode but like,yes, um, I am fascinated with
(13:50):
the integration pieces of thatand have a lot of tools and
things to be able to support.
But also, you know, there'sthere's psychedelic experiences
that are these huge, can be huge, life-altering things.
But that's not the only timethat happens right, it can be
(14:12):
through.
You know, we talk about theseexperiences and you only go once
and people have near-deathexperiences that have literally
shaken who they are to the coreand brought them to some
aliveness they didn't know theyhad previously and that's, you
(14:32):
know, near-death experiencesgiving birth, becoming a parent,
losing family.
It can be like there's so manyparts and things that can happen
in our lives that are justthese cataclysmic lightning bolt
moments that we're like how thefuck do I now bring what I know
(14:54):
, like I can't go back.
I can't just go back andcontinue doing the things
normally Right.
And so how do we, how do wetake this new information and
integrate it into our lives in away that that allows us to open
up even further?
That part, for me, is sowonderfully rich and fascinating
(15:19):
and the stuff that, when wereally take those moments, can,
I think, change the world right.
I've also been in this somaticpractitioners program now for
gosh 11 months I think it is.
We finish up in May of thiscoming year, so I'll be
(15:40):
certified and everything withinthat space.
But that has been certified andeverything within that space.
But that has been, holy shit, awhole big cracking open also,
as if I haven't been crappedopen enough in the past five
years of just life, reallytapping into what it means to be
an embodied human and likefeeling what our bodies are
(16:05):
communicating with us and, youknow, diving into that, and
that's been hand in hand withthe stuff that I've been doing.
Tap into myself and expressthat in a way that feels so
joyful, freeing, and so sensualand embodied when you live and
(16:47):
grow up in a fairly, you know,more religious or strict kind of
household.
It's wrong to be a sexual orsensual being and this year has
been so much embracing andloving that part of me and so I,
(17:08):
terrifyingly, did my firststudent performance of burlesque
in I think it was September andthat was amazing, amazing,
amazing.
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Amazing, amazing.
So Eileen reached out to me andshe told me that she was doing
this burlesque dance and Ithought, okay, it should be
interesting, because one thingthat people should know about
Eileen is that she loves to move.
(17:43):
I mean, she loves anythingexercise-related, anything
physically related, and dancejust brings her an astronomical
amount of joy.
And I got to.
(18:03):
Somebody did a video of theperformance and it is just
fantastic.
It is absolutely phenomenal andI am so proud of you, eileen,
for putting yourself out thereand doing something that gives
you joy in a way that's alsovulnerable.
So proud of you, lady, becausethat was amazing.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, and shout out to Nicole, nikki, brianna that
does all the choreo, the teacherand mentor and so much of my
life right now.
But yeah, it was.
It was incredible, I mean, toliterally get up on that stage
in front of other people.
You know, I've done publicspeaking stuff.
(18:45):
I've done, you know, when I wasteaching high school math.
Like obviously you have to getup and say things in front of
teenagers, which is a wholeother vulnerability you have to
have.
But yeah, doing this andexpressing myself in this way
was just something completelydifferent that I'd never
experienced before and soempowering and so freeing and I
(19:15):
just I it has definitely justcontinued to open me up and also
dive in even deeper into myself.
So, yeah, that happened andI've also been working on a
script of sorts.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Love it, monthly goods month beds.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
So, yeah, so been so.
I think this, especially thislast sort of quarter of 2024 and
even, you know, starting into2025, has been about expression
for me.
Um, whether it's through danceand movement and I've been
moving every day, I, you, youknow I have to like, I have to
have a song, even if it's justfor like one song.
Um, during the day, I have tohave to move because there's an
(20:09):
expression that allows my bodyand I'm moving right now.
No one can see this except forCheryl, but there's an
expression that is so helpfuland healthy for me that, yeah, I
just need and I'll give youthis too One of the things that
my amazing teacher within theSematic Institute you know all
(20:33):
of the teachers, actually, butyou know she talked about is
having sound with the movementsthat we make.
Also, because the amount,especially women and I'm not
saying it's just women, butoftentimes we're told as women
to be quiet, right, to stayquiet, and even just making like
(20:53):
to yawn and make an audiblenoise of like taking up space
can feel terrifying.
Like taking up space can feelterrifying, right, you're like,
oh, my god, I just I made excuseme, I'm so sorry and sorry, I
took up noise space in this room.
Um, but yeah, to like have anaudible breath is incredible and
(21:19):
it feels so good and it's justI, like my body feels more
relaxed, to just allow myself toexist in this world.
It goes past even the sorriesthat we often say to um, not we,
I say I'll say like that, um,but it goes past that into me,
(21:39):
just physically and audiblyexisting in this world.
And if I can't even breathe outloud and feel bad for that,
that's a fucking problem.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Anyway, this has been such a gift in that and
recognizing it and starting totake up more space in that and
recognizing it and starting totake up more space, um, so, so,
yeah, so.
So, with that, it's been like,oh, my god, I just want to
express, I've been painting,I've been drawing, I've been
dancing, I've been writing, um,and just in any ways that can
(22:17):
allow those parts, that creative, expressive piece.
It doesn't have to be good,quote-unquote, good, whatever
that means, right, but just tolike get stuff out has been so
cathartic and healing andwonderful, and it's hard.
I mean, it's hard, don't get mewrong.
(22:37):
It is hard and it hurts a lotof times, um, and I need to feel
that hurt because I pushed itdown for so long with a lot of
things.
So, so, yeah, so you know whencheryl and I started this year
we are still technically at thestart, but it's january 45th at
this point, right, or somethingcorrect, correct?
(23:00):
Um, this was a missing piece forme, this, this space, to
intentionally catch up with you.
Also, I don't know, there wasjust something.
There's something about thispodcast for me that it's um, it
(23:21):
just brings me so much joy to tohave this space with my friend
and then we get to learn thingsand meet people and do stuff
that you know I.
It brings me energy, whereasother things feel draining a lot
of times, and I am looking forand intentionally bringing in
(23:45):
those things again that bring melife, and that's part of why
we're here today for me.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
So yeah, and I so appreciate that you talk about
how well.
Let me go back.
Yeah, I found that in the 10years that I've known you,
you've managed to find thebalance between create and
consume, and I feel like you'rein your create era right now,
(24:18):
which is such a cool thing, andkeep going is all I'm gonna say.
Just keep going, um.
And to the people out there whoare trying to find their
balance with create and consume,give creativity a try.
That could be anything right,it could be um.
(24:39):
So I'm looking.
You all can't see this and youwon't see this because I'm not
ready yet for video podcasts.
Quite frankly, I'll get thereeventually, but Eileen has a
lovely cacophony of green plantseverywhere.
We know that creativity canserve many forms.
For some people, it can begardening.
(25:00):
For some people it can begardening.
For some people it can bewriting.
For some people it can bedrawing, painting.
For some people it can be dance, for you know, for others,
sometimes it's just gettingtucked into a nice book.
You know, for others it may besomething else completely, but
just try to find your creativity.
(25:20):
Maybe something else completely, but just try to find your
creativity.
The other thing that I want tosay is that, post-pandemic, I've
(25:49):
learned a lot about the beautyof friendships and the beauty of
family and the beauty offramily, which is friends who
are considered family, and it'sbeen a lovely reconnection back
with people and I'm grateful forthat.
And, eileen, I'm always proudto call you my friend and we
just have fun.
I just find friendship overallweird because you, you, know,
totally, you start off asstrangers.
Right, you start off strangersand you're like, hey, I have
this weird thing that I like andthey go me too.
And you're like, okay, so Ijust I guess this is how
friendship is made.
So, um, right to, uh, to eileen, and to all my friends that are
(26:13):
out there and to my familythat's out there, I just want to
say thanks for embracing myweird, and I love your weird too
.
Um and uh, you know more tocome like.
I think we find the joy in ourweird and also in our wonderful
and our talents and all of that.
So, um, to all of you out there, just keep going, because, um,
(26:35):
we're going to need that.
We're kind of in this weirdperiod, post pandemic.
Um, I've seen a couple ofthings out there.
I forget where the article wasfrom, but they are talking about
the increase in loneliness.
Just so you know you go and findand talk to people if you need
(26:56):
to do that or just be in a spacewhere people are talking.
Sometimes, I know for me froman introvert perspective,
sometimes I just like being in aspace where I can hear other
people talk and that gives mejoy and also very freeing,
knowing I don't have tocontribute to the conversation.
(27:16):
I can just kind of listen andpeople watch.
I don't know if that soundscreepy I hope it doesn't but for
me I think I find the joy inlike bookstores and things like
that, and certainly at the.
You know, for me, for some ofthese conventions and things
like that, hearing people sharetheir pitch about their books
(27:39):
has also been a learningexperience, because sometimes
you only have about 10 secondsto share who you are, what the
book is about, things like that,and you get to learn very
quickly what is going to compelpeople to stay.
And I I think for us this year,as we return back into the
(28:04):
podcast, we're going to startpoking things with a stick and
see what interests people, butwe're going to do this in a very
intimate way.
This is probably only going tobe once a month and it's just
going to be conversationsbetween the two of us and we're
going to find different topics.
(28:25):
We're hoping that people embracesocial media in a good way.
We know that social media isgetting a bad rap right now and
you know there's a couple ofways.
We're still out on Instagram.
We'll have to set up a I thinkit's called blue sky, is that
what it's called?
I don't know what that is.
(28:45):
Um, I don't know blue sky, it'sa blue sky account so that, um,
you know, if you're notcomfortable anymore in the
instagram space, we can reachout to you through blue sky.
Um, that's, that's all more tocome with that.
But we kind of want to embracethe conversational aspects of
(29:08):
podcasting and just reconnectingwith one another through this.
Again, we text each other everynight.
This is not the only way weconnect right, but I want to
kind of continue thatconversation and just know that
you know if you're going, oh, metoo.
Oh, I get that.
(29:28):
Oh, I understand that.
We would love to hear from you.
Yeah, we're hoping that once wepost these, you know, we'll
start getting back into askingquestions and trying to
understand.
You know where people are witheverything.
So we're hoping that this iskind of like hey, we hear you
(29:50):
virtual hug and also we hope tocontinue the conversation, yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Yeah, Eileen.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I'm super proud of you for everything you went
through last year.
That was the wrong way ofputting it, so you're going to
strike fine, eileen.
I'm super proud of you for allthe things you accomplished last
year during your sabbatical,and I'm so glad that we are
returning to this so that we cankind of talk and catch up on
(30:22):
things and discuss topics thatwe find are poignant for this
year and also just from a, likeyou said, a friendship
perspective, a peopleperspective.
That's what we really want toreturn to.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, definitely, um, yeah, it's uh, and, and then
connecting for, for each other,but then, yeah, connecting with
anyone else that feels thatthose same things, and um, and
having that space to for thisand not just be that one wayway
(31:00):
conversation, um, out to theether.
You know, um, like cheryl said,if you're, if you're feeling
things, if you're wanting tocontribute to that conversation,
to reach out, um, we'd love to,to hear what sparks joy for you
, what's what's been interesting, what do you want to dive
further into?
And um, yeah, that's it.
(31:24):
It matters to us the impactthat this can also be making on
other people.
Yes, so, um, yeah, yes, yes,yes, I just, oh, my gosh, my
heart feels so happy it does.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
This has been lovely.
I've missed this.
This is very cool, same, oh mygoodness.
All right, my friends out therelistening, we're.
We're back and hear from us,like once a month, I think.
But in the meantime, if thereare topics you'd love to hear
about, um, you know, just pingus on.
(32:02):
You only Go Once on Instagram,for right now We'll get to Blue
Sky at some point.
I have to figure it out.
I'm on there.
Personally, I still don't knoweverything, so I'm not the one
to talk to about social medialike new stuff, but I'm trying
to again.
I'm trying something new.
I'm hoping that we can continueconversations out there.
So, on behalf of my lovelyfriend of 10 years, huzzah
(32:28):
Eileen Grimes, myself, cherylCantafio, this concludes our of
you Only Go Once.
Take care out there.
Hey kids, we're back.
I am Cheryl Cantafio.
I am here with my fantastic,wonderful friend co-host, and in
case you didn't remember whatour podcast was called, it's
called you Only Go Once and weexplore stories around the
limited time we have on thisearth to create a fully layered
(00:20):
life.
So we're back and I know backin July of last year we had put
out a brief announcement justsaying we have a lot of stuff
going on and we're going to takea sabbatical for the summer.
So, yeah, that sabbaticallasted more than we expected and
for many good reasons, but nowwe kind of missed one another
(00:42):
and we missed the space.
And yeah, we just want to kindof come back and talk about you
know, just have this lovelyconversation between the two of
us and just to hold the space,for people are feeling a little
bit lonely out there on socialmedia doesn't mean that the
(01:04):
stuff you're doing doesn't count, because it does, because
you're living life, and you'reliving life large, and sometimes
you're living life quietly andall of that, no matter what the
volume of your life is, it'sgood and keep doing the things
that you're doing.
So that's where we are.
So I mean long time no talking.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
No, my God, so long at least here.
So I will get listeners justquickly.
Cheryl and I don't just connecton the podcast.
We've obviously been a hugepart of each other's lives now
for years.
Has it been a decade?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yes, it has, yes, it has, yes, it has Ten years Ten
years.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
My friend, I know all the amazing things We'll get
into, some of the stuff we'vebeen up to since we kind of took
this great pause, this back interms of showing up for each
other and you know, out loud andin a space and what it means to
(02:13):
show up for each other in anytime and space, right Through
the good stuff, through thethings that are complicated and
hard, and celebrating thewonderful and really being in it
fully with each other.
And that's some of the stuffthat we're going to be talking
(02:35):
about in this year to come, togo with just the two of us
catching up, checking in, seeingwhere we're at, but also
talking through some things thattouch us.
And I don't know about you, butI never got lessons or learned
(02:57):
what it meant to really have agrown-up adult friendship or how
you do that right andeveryone's different, so there's
no exact path for that.
But obviously now, after 10years of having this in-person
friendship and now bi-coastalfriendship that we've had,
(03:20):
there's just so much that I feellike it's kind of an incredible
thing where I think someone wassaying something.
I'm gonna have to look this up,but there was something
somewhere where someone wassaying there's like a seven year
shedding or something like that, where after seven years you
start kind of you shift in theway that your friends and who
you're friends with and who youmaintain friendships with and
(03:43):
things, and yeah, I just thoughtthat was fascinating kind of
learning how we, the people thatsurround us, and how that
changes.
But how do you maintainlong-term friendship?
right right, but also justfucking, how are we doing?
What is going on on?
(04:04):
And God, what is going on?
There's so much and for anyone,my heart goes out to everybody
right now.
Just in general.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
January has felt like a full year.
So you know, just yeah, we're.
You know, I don't know, I don'teven know what to say.
(04:36):
It's just felt like a full year.
I'll just put it out there andsay that Eileen and I are, and
always will be, pro-deib.
That's not going away from us,and we've prided ourselves on
having guests from all differentbackgrounds.
And when we're ready to returnto that space of interviewing
other guests, our diversity,equity, inclusion and belonging
(05:01):
principles will remain the same.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
yep, equally um, thank you, thank you for saying
that and I'm glad and totallyagree, stand by that
wholeheartedly.
Um, yeah, and it's weird, it'sweird to have to say it, it's
not to say it.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
It's not what I even mean.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I think you meant, in a time and space, to continue
to declare that is wild, correct, correct.
So how are you?
How are you, my friend?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I am fine.
I, you know, this is fine,everything's fine, it's fine,
Everything's fine.
See what you say, it's fine,everything's fine.
You know, last year felt heavybut it's a year that brought a
lot of wonderful things for me.
I had published not just twobooks but three books in the
(06:00):
span of a small space.
I never expected to publishthree in one year and it just
kind of all got goofy.
I took a different stance.
So Eileen knows this, I'm anintrovert.
I have like seven friends.
I'm perfectly content in thatspace, and books, when you
(06:21):
publish them, have a funny wayof saying no, you need to
actually talk about us now.
I was fortunate enough to joina group of writers and those
that have published.
I just want to give a shout outto the friends that I have
because they also looked out forme during this time and said,
hey, you may want to try this orhey, you want to try that.
(06:42):
Normally my introvert personwould be like that's a weekend,
that's my sacred time, and Ijust said yes to everything.
Sometimes when you say yes toeverything, you realize that
that's a lot of time, but I'mgrateful for every single moment
of it.
I did local author events nearme and I was truly humbled by
(07:06):
how many people came out.
I got to do an event at ourlocal zoo, which is amazing, and
just got to see what incrediblelessons I learned from that.
I got to do a horror conventionwhich is… that's right, you
(07:36):
have the hunkers to me, right?
That's right, given invasion.
They said something like hey, afriend of ours has a
horror-related poetry book.
They were like hey, have hersign up for this.
And it was the first eventafter I published the book.
(07:58):
So it was like the Saturdayafter I published my book and I
was fascinated by the response.
I will tell you.
I walked in that event and Ilaughed because I thought, well,
you've got people promotingtheir true horror films.
They've got horror themedtchotchkes, there are so many
other things.
And I'm here, going here withmy puppetry book I hope you like
it, they're so funny.
(08:19):
And I went with my friend,julie and I think she was
equally surprised.
So you have basically twointroverts that are kind of
hanging out at a horrorconvention, going what are we
doing?
And it was lovely.
Not only did I have that poetrybook, which is A Place no
Flowers Grow, but I also had thepoetry book that was dedicated
(08:42):
to the loss of my mom there, andI couldn't believe how
positively received both bookswere.
It was an incredible learningopportunity.
I'm doing it again this yearand it seemed from there
everything just kind of blew up.
It was oh, this means I can bea little bit braver.
So I went to certain largerbookstores and said, hey, I have
(09:05):
this book.
Would you be interested in abook signing?
Much to my surprise, I had fourof those last year, which is
unbelievable to me.
In addition to that, I releaseda children's book.
It has been such a learningexperience.
Just a shout out to our localbook authors group.
There's two, so there's theBook Authors of Southeastern
(09:25):
Pennsylvania.
Thank you to that group forbeing so inclusive and also to
the Norristown and NorritonAuthor Alliance for setting up
additional opportunities that Iprobably would have never even
heard of.
I love those communities somuch and they've enabled a
little bit of brave in me and Iappreciate that so much.
And they've enabled a littlebit of brave in me and I
appreciate that so much.
(09:46):
I also did my second Mud Girlrun, which is not book related,
and if any of you would see me,you know I'm not meant for
athletics.
That was quite interesting andalso just an amazing moment with
amazing women supporting a goodcause.
And then just all the holidaystuff.
I had a very intimate holidaywith family.
(10:09):
It was wonderful.
We just had a good time beingtogether and hanging out.
It was lovely.
So I think that brings me up todate in terms of Some of the
things that I did during oursummer sabbatical slash, winter
sabbatical slash.
Here we are probably a littlebit longer than we expected to
(10:32):
be away, but we were busy, soI'm going to hand it over to
Eileen now.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Eileen Well, you've had a lot Not yet, not yet, not
yet.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Okay, so I'm not handing it back to Eileen.
Apparently Not yet.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Just a moment you did not mention the names of your
books, so please do that.
Oh, I did.
I'm going to hear Barry.
Did you say?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Barry.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I didn't say.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Barry, that's true.
So listen if you're.
So there's a couple thingsthere's A Place no Flowers Grow,
which was the poetic tale.
There's a couple of thingsthere's A Place no Flowers Grow,
which was the poetic tale.
That one was kind of myfavorite of the year because it
was different poems that tell atale of three main characters.
Very cautionary tale.
(11:18):
It was a mess around and findout kind of tale.
There's that one, there's onecalled, and it is a what we call
a chapbook called, and it is awhat we call a chapbook.
It is very teensy, tiny, but itis called the She-Wolf Sonnet
and it is eight sonnets thattell a tale of a she-wolf who
realizes she's not the only gamein town.
So that was the surprise book.
(11:38):
I love it so good.
And then the final one is andI'll just shout out to my
illustrator, nicole Elwood, whodid just a lovely job of
embracing the world of Barry.
The book is called Barry and theBig Jump.
It is about a little tinyjumping spider who's not
necessarily great at jumping,but he gets invited by his three
(12:00):
award winning big jump siblingsto participate in a four spider
broad jump.
And it's him going.
Oh, I said yes, and oh, what doI do now?
So it's kind of like his littlejourney and I love it.
A couple of people have saidtheir littles really enjoy this
as a bedtime story, so it's forall your littles who are big
(12:24):
dreamers, and something to readat bedtime as well, apparently.
So those are the books.
More to come.
I'm working on another one andthen I'm working on a graphic
novel version of A Place noFlowers Grow, which should be
wicked cool.
I also owe the otherillustrator for that.
Another 10 poems.
More to come on that for thisyear, but I'm hoping that that
(12:46):
comes out in september.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
All right, cool, so I'm not sorry, you needed to say
that.
There you go, thanks eileen,you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
So you also had an interesting year right.
You celebrated through dance.
Do you want to talk a littlebit about that?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
yeah, um gosh, uh, when did?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I mean, that's not the only thing.
Take a break.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, what was it?
june I something like that yeah,so in that period of time I
finished well, I'm just gonna gochronologically because it
helps me, so that I'm notforgetting things, and I will
forget things because that'sjust how it works.
But, um, so I finished mypsychedelic practitioners core
(13:29):
training and finished my warriorexams at the end of july, which
was awesome and definitelylooking for ways to develop
practice there.
I'm really fascinated and thisis camille, I mean, this is like
a whole other episode but like,yes, um, I am fascinated with
(13:50):
the integration pieces of thatand have a lot of tools and
things to be able to support.
But also, you know, there'sthere's psychedelic experiences
that are these huge, can be huge, life-altering things.
But that's not the only timethat happens right, it can be
(14:12):
through.
You know, we talk about theseexperiences and you only go once
and people have near-deathexperiences that have literally
shaken who they are to the coreand brought them to some
aliveness they didn't know theyhad previously and that's, you
(14:32):
know, near-death experiencesgiving birth, becoming a parent,
losing family.
It can be like there's so manyparts and things that can happen
in our lives that are justthese cataclysmic lightning bolt
moments that we're like how thefuck do I now bring what I know
(14:54):
, like I can't go back.
I can't just go back andcontinue doing the things
normally Right.
And so how do we, how do wetake this new information and
integrate it into our lives in away that that allows us to open
up even further?
That part, for me, is sowonderfully rich and fascinating
(15:19):
and the stuff that, when wereally take those moments, can,
I think, change the world right.
I've also been in this somaticpractitioners program now for
gosh 11 months I think it is.
We finish up in May of thiscoming year, so I'll be
(15:40):
certified and everything withinthat space.
But that has been certified andeverything within that space.
But that has been, holy shit, awhole big cracking open also,
as if I haven't been crappedopen enough in the past five
years of just life, reallytapping into what it means to be
an embodied human and likefeeling what our bodies are
(16:05):
communicating with us and, youknow, diving into that, and
that's been hand in hand withthe stuff that I've been doing.
Tap into myself and expressthat in a way that feels so
joyful, freeing, and so sensualand embodied when you live and
(16:47):
grow up in a fairly, you know,more religious or strict kind of
household.
It's wrong to be a sexual orsensual being and this year has
been so much embracing andloving that part of me and so I,
(17:08):
terrifyingly, did my firststudent performance of burlesque
in I think it was September andthat was amazing, amazing,
amazing.
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Amazing, amazing.
So Eileen reached out to me andshe told me that she was doing
this burlesque dance and Ithought, okay, it should be
interesting, because one thingthat people should know about
Eileen is that she loves to move.
(17:43):
I mean, she loves anythingexercise-related, anything
physically related, and dancejust brings her an astronomical
amount of joy.
And I got to.
(18:03):
Somebody did a video of theperformance and it is just
fantastic.
It is absolutely phenomenal andI am so proud of you, eileen,
for putting yourself out thereand doing something that gives
you joy in a way that's alsovulnerable.
So proud of you, lady, becausethat was amazing.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, and shout out to Nicole, nikki, brianna that
does all the choreo, the teacherand mentor and so much of my
life right now.
But yeah, it was.
It was incredible, I mean, toliterally get up on that stage
in front of other people.
You know, I've done publicspeaking stuff.
(18:45):
I've done, you know, when I wasteaching high school math.
Like obviously you have to getup and say things in front of
teenagers, which is a wholeother vulnerability you have to
have.
But yeah, doing this andexpressing myself in this way
was just something completelydifferent that I'd never
experienced before and soempowering and so freeing and I
(19:15):
just I it has definitely justcontinued to open me up and also
dive in even deeper into myself.
So, yeah, that happened andI've also been working on a
script of sorts.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Love it, monthly goods month beds.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
So, yeah, so been so.
I think this, especially thislast sort of quarter of 2024 and
even, you know, starting into2025, has been about expression
for me.
Um, whether it's through danceand movement and I've been
moving every day, I, you, youknow I have to like, I have to
have a song, even if it's justfor like one song.
Um, during the day, I have tohave to move because there's an
(20:09):
expression that allows my bodyand I'm moving right now.
No one can see this except forCheryl, but there's an
expression that is so helpfuland healthy for me that, yeah, I
just need and I'll give youthis too One of the things that
my amazing teacher within theSematic Institute you know all
(20:33):
of the teachers, actually, butyou know she talked about is
having sound with the movementsthat we make.
Also, because the amount,especially women and I'm not
saying it's just women, butoftentimes we're told as women
to be quiet, right, to stayquiet, and even just making like
(20:53):
to yawn and make an audiblenoise of like taking up space
can feel terrifying.
Like taking up space can feelterrifying, right, you're like,
oh, my god, I just I made excuseme, I'm so sorry and sorry, I
took up noise space in this room.
Um, but yeah, to like have anaudible breath is incredible and
(21:19):
it feels so good and it's justI, like my body feels more
relaxed, to just allow myself toexist in this world.
It goes past even the sorriesthat we often say to um, not we,
I say I'll say like that, um,but it goes past that into me,
(21:39):
just physically and audiblyexisting in this world.
And if I can't even breathe outloud and feel bad for that,
that's a fucking problem.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Anyway, this has been such a gift in that and
recognizing it and starting totake up more space in that and
recognizing it and starting totake up more space, um, so, so,
yeah, so.
So, with that, it's been like,oh, my god, I just want to
express, I've been painting,I've been drawing, I've been
dancing, I've been writing, um,and just in any ways that can
(22:17):
allow those parts, that creative, expressive piece.
It doesn't have to be good,quote-unquote, good, whatever
that means, right, but just tolike get stuff out has been so
cathartic and healing andwonderful, and it's hard.
I mean, it's hard, don't get mewrong.
(22:37):
It is hard and it hurts a lotof times, um, and I need to feel
that hurt because I pushed itdown for so long with a lot of
things.
So, so, yeah, so you know whencheryl and I started this year
we are still technically at thestart, but it's january 45th at
this point, right, or somethingcorrect, correct?
(23:00):
Um, this was a missing piece forme, this, this space, to
intentionally catch up with you.
Also, I don't know, there wasjust something.
There's something about thispodcast for me that it's um, it
(23:21):
just brings me so much joy to tohave this space with my friend
and then we get to learn thingsand meet people and do stuff
that you know I.
It brings me energy, whereasother things feel draining a lot
of times, and I am looking forand intentionally bringing in
(23:45):
those things again that bring melife, and that's part of why
we're here today for me.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
So yeah, and I so appreciate that you talk about
how well.
Let me go back.
Yeah, I found that in the 10years that I've known you,
you've managed to find thebalance between create and
consume, and I feel like you'rein your create era right now,
(24:18):
which is such a cool thing, andkeep going is all I'm gonna say.
Just keep going, um.
And to the people out there whoare trying to find their
balance with create and consume,give creativity a try.
That could be anything right,it could be um.
(24:39):
So I'm looking.
You all can't see this and youwon't see this because I'm not
ready yet for video podcasts.
Quite frankly, I'll get thereeventually, but Eileen has a
lovely cacophony of green plantseverywhere.
We know that creativity canserve many forms.
For some people, it can begardening.
(25:00):
For some people it can begardening.
For some people it can bewriting.
For some people it can bedrawing, painting.
For some people it can be dance, for you know, for others,
sometimes it's just gettingtucked into a nice book.
You know, for others it may besomething else completely, but
just try to find your creativity.
(25:20):
Maybe something else completely, but just try to find your
creativity.
The other thing that I want tosay is that, post-pandemic, I've
(25:49):
learned a lot about the beautyof friendships and the beauty of
family and the beauty offramily, which is friends who
are considered family, and it'sbeen a lovely reconnection back
with people and I'm grateful forthat.
And, eileen, I'm always proudto call you my friend and we
just have fun.
I just find friendship overallweird because you, you, know,
totally, you start off asstrangers.
Right, you start off strangersand you're like, hey, I have
this weird thing that I like andthey go me too.
And you're like, okay, so Ijust I guess this is how
friendship is made.
So, um, right to, uh, to eileen, and to all my friends that are
(26:13):
out there and to my familythat's out there, I just want to
say thanks for embracing myweird, and I love your weird too
.
Um and uh, you know more tocome like.
I think we find the joy in ourweird and also in our wonderful
and our talents and all of that.
So, um, to all of you out there, just keep going, because, um,
(26:35):
we're going to need that.
We're kind of in this weirdperiod, post pandemic.
Um, I've seen a couple ofthings out there.
I forget where the article wasfrom, but they are talking about
the increase in loneliness.
Just so you know you go and findand talk to people if you need
(26:56):
to do that or just be in a spacewhere people are talking.
Sometimes, I know for me froman introvert perspective,
sometimes I just like being in aspace where I can hear other
people talk and that gives mejoy and also very freeing,
knowing I don't have tocontribute to the conversation.
(27:16):
I can just kind of listen andpeople watch.
I don't know if that soundscreepy I hope it doesn't but for
me I think I find the joy inlike bookstores and things like
that, and certainly at the.
You know, for me, for some ofthese conventions and things
like that, hearing people sharetheir pitch about their books
(27:39):
has also been a learningexperience, because sometimes
you only have about 10 secondsto share who you are, what the
book is about, things like that,and you get to learn very
quickly what is going to compelpeople to stay.
And I I think for us this year,as we return back into the
(28:04):
podcast, we're going to startpoking things with a stick and
see what interests people, butwe're going to do this in a very
intimate way.
This is probably only going tobe once a month and it's just
going to be conversationsbetween the two of us and we're
going to find different topics.
(28:25):
We're hoping that people embracesocial media in a good way.
We know that social media isgetting a bad rap right now and
you know there's a couple ofways.
We're still out on Instagram.
We'll have to set up a I thinkit's called blue sky, is that
what it's called?
I don't know what that is.
(28:45):
Um, I don't know blue sky, it'sa blue sky account so that, um,
you know, if you're notcomfortable anymore in the
instagram space, we can reachout to you through blue sky.
Um, that's, that's all more tocome with that.
But we kind of want to embracethe conversational aspects of
(29:08):
podcasting and just reconnectingwith one another through this.
Again, we text each other everynight.
This is not the only way weconnect right, but I want to
kind of continue thatconversation and just know that
you know if you're going, oh, metoo.
Oh, I get that.
(29:28):
Oh, I understand that.
We would love to hear from you.
Yeah, we're hoping that once wepost these, you know, we'll
start getting back into askingquestions and trying to
understand.
You know where people are witheverything.
So we're hoping that this iskind of like hey, we hear you
(29:50):
virtual hug and also we hope tocontinue the conversation, yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Yeah, Eileen.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I'm super proud of you for everything you went
through last year.
That was the wrong way ofputting it, so you're going to
strike fine, eileen.
I'm super proud of you for allthe things you accomplished last
year during your sabbatical,and I'm so glad that we are
returning to this so that we cankind of talk and catch up on
(30:22):
things and discuss topics thatwe find are poignant for this
year and also just from a, likeyou said, a friendship
perspective, a peopleperspective.
That's what we really want toreturn to.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, definitely, um, yeah, it's uh, and, and then
connecting for, for each other,but then, yeah, connecting with
anyone else that feels thatthose same things, and um, and
having that space to for thisand not just be that one wayway
(31:00):
conversation, um, out to theether.
You know, um, like cheryl said,if you're, if you're feeling
things, if you're wanting tocontribute to that conversation,
to reach out, um, we'd love to,to hear what sparks joy for you
, what's what's been interesting, what do you want to dive
further into?
And um, yeah, that's it.
(31:24):
It matters to us the impactthat this can also be making on
other people.
Yes, so, um, yeah, yes, yes,yes, I just, oh, my gosh, my
heart feels so happy it does.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
This has been lovely.
I've missed this.
This is very cool, same, oh mygoodness.
All right, my friends out therelistening, we're.
We're back and hear from us,like once a month, I think.
But in the meantime, if thereare topics you'd love to hear
about, um, you know, just pingus on.
(32:02):
You only Go Once on Instagram,for right now We'll get to Blue
Sky at some point.
I have to figure it out.
I'm on there.
Personally, I still don't knoweverything, so I'm not the one
to talk to about social medialike new stuff, but I'm trying
to again.
I'm trying something new.
I'm hoping that we can continueconversations out there.
So, on behalf of my lovelyfriend of 10 years, huzzah
(32:28):
Eileen Grimes, myself, cherylCantafio, this concludes our of
you Only Go Once.
Take care out there.
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