April 25, 2024 • 50 mins
Let us know what you thought about the show!
Discover the transformative power through a profound conversation with Ajit Nawalka, the mind behind EverCoach and the Dharma Coaching Institute. Our dialogue unveils Ajit's inspiring ascent from a crowded household in India to a luminary in the personal growth sphere, underscoring the undeniable influence of mentorship and the pivotal instances where coaching propelled him toward fulfillment on all fronts. We dissect the critical differences between therapy and coaching, providing clarity on the two disciplines while also celebrating the untapped potential of an industry in dire need of more passionate coaches.
As we traverse the journey of self-discovery, we touch upon the nuances of goal setting and self-reflection, tackling the subtle ways our environment molds our aspirations. Ajit and I scrutinize the societal patterns that drive our personal goals, from the allure of wealth to the encroaching presence of AI. We discuss the profound impact of understanding the 'why' behind our objectives and the significance of crafting a clear, long-term vision to dissipate life's tumultuous waves. The conversation also spans the psychological intricacies of retirement planning, the health implications tied to a purpose-driven existence post-retirement, and the fortitude afforded by thoughtful financial foresight.
Closing this insightful episode, we express our heartfelt gratitude to those dedicated to world change amidst seemingly relentless global upheaval. We delve into the dynamic relationship between therapists and coaches, the evolution of mental health practices, and the necessity of constructing mental resilience in an era marked by technological disruption. As we welcome the fresh beginnings of 2024, we invite you to absorb the wisdom shared in this rich exchange and carry its inspiration into crafting a life of deliberate, passionate pursuit. Join us on this expedition towards a purposeful existence that not only elevates your life but also contributes to the broader tapestry of societal advancement.
Show him some love by visiting..
Ajit's Website: https://coachajit.com/
Ajit's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realcoachajit/?hl=en
Ajit's Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@mindvalleycoach
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Thank you for joining me on this ride!
Jason Wasser Therapist/Coach
Online Tele-Therapy & Coaching 🖥
The Family Room Wellness Associates
Certified Neuro Emotional Technique Practitioner
🎧Host:You Winning Life Podcast
🎤Available for speaking engagements
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Wow, welcome back to another upcoming episode of the
you winning life podcast.
I'm Jason Wasser, licensedmarriage and family therapist,
and, as you know, we're gettingclose to episode 200 of this
show, and one of the things Ifirst want to thank everybody
for is listening and sharing andbeing part of my mission of
(00:37):
getting really incredible peoplewho are sharing their life,
their wisdom and theirexperiences with everybody out
there, because I can't justaccomplish it all within my
therapy practice every week.
I only have a certain amount ofhours a week and there's so
much wonderful things that I'mlearning and growing personally
with that.
(00:57):
I want to share with everybodyas much as possible, and having
this podcast is the platform inwhich I presently chose in order
to help me get that informationout there, and today's going to
be no different.
Today we're hanging out with thefounder of EverCoach and the
Dharma Coaching Institute.
(01:18):
He was also one of the theco-founders of Mindvalley, where
he previously was the CEO and amajor leading voice in the
coaching space.
His name is Ajit Nawalka and hehas spent the last many years
working helping formulatecoaching programs, working with
(01:41):
both coaches and people, bothfrom the, helping them learn how
to coach, and helping those inthe business world and personal
development really achieve andexcel.
He's an author of multiplebooks and has an incredible
presence on social media,including being in Forbes and
(02:03):
Entertainer Magazine andspeaking on stages, including
his own podcast, master Coachingwith Ajit.
So I very much look forward toyou guys getting as much value
out of this and I'm superexcited to be sharing this with
you.
And if you have been thinkingabout doing some therapy and
(02:23):
perhaps even some coaching foryour professional life or your
business, or some dynamics thatare going on that you'd like to
make changes with, I do havesome spaces available over the
next few months to take on asmall handful of new clients, so
please do not hesitate to reachout to me, and we'd also love
(02:45):
to hear your feedback on ourguests on the show, on things
you'd like to hear, on thingsyou have questions about, from
things you did hear, and alwaysfeel free to reach out to me on
Instagram, jason Wasser LMFT,and our website,
thefamilyroomsflcom, is a greatplace to find out about all of
the therapy and events and allthese other things that we're
(03:07):
doing.
But, please, we'd love to hearfrom you, I'd love to hear from
you and, without further ado.
Please enjoy the episode, allright.
Well, first of all, welcome andthank you for hanging out with
us today.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Thank you so much, jason.
Thank you so much for having me, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So, so, as I said in our our pre-conversation, those
are one of my favorite things tohave as the pre-conversation
because sometimes somethingcomes up that you would never
even consider asking.
And and here I am now.
I'm a therapist and thecoaching world has become you
know, I joke that everybody inFlorida has their job and
they're a realtor and everywhereelse in the world it's becoming
(03:45):
a thing where everybody'sbecoming a coach and we as
therapists we struggle with thatbecause you know we have
training and master's degreesand licensure and rules and
regulations and CEOs and a lotof that has evolved in the um in
the coaching world.
But I would love to hear onejust your experience of, from
your background, growing up inthe family you have and the
(04:06):
culture you have, you know where, where, where that fits in,
where self-help,self-development first became
embedded in something that youknew was part of your purpose
and part of your potential.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
So I discovered personal development much later
in life.
So where where I, where Istarted was?
I grew up in India in ahousehold of 23 people, which is
called joint family in India.
It's not unheard of there, it'sa common practice.
But the way I approached it wasfrom a reality where I felt
that I was constrained for space, that we didn't have abundance,
(04:42):
that we couldn't do things thatwe want to do or I couldn't do
things that I wanted to do orhave things I wanted to have or
live the life in a way that Ithought we should live and every
human should live, not just me.
And because of those questionsthat I asked myself early on, or
those situations that I foundmyself on early on, I became a
sponge from people who I thoughtto be more successful than I
(05:05):
was, people I thought were aheadof the curve, people who were
learning more, growing more, hadthe things that I wanted to
have.
And so because of that frame ofreference that I started my
journey, I got introduced tomentorship and questioning
things very early on.
But the idea of personaldevelopment I only kind of the
(05:25):
first book I was ever given to,and it was the only book that I
read for a very long time waswho Moved my Cheese when I was
like 21 years old and that wasthe first personal development
book I read.
And then I didn't read any bookfor many, many years until I
joined this company.
That was a tiny company at thetime and now it's a big
enterprise called Mindvalley.
And then I got reintroduced tothe idea of personal growth and
(05:50):
really started to inquire as toand this is now about 15 years
ago I really got introduced notonly to books but to personal
growth work and so I starteddoing all that work and that has
really tremendously helped me.
And about eight years ago Iswitched directions because I
hired a lot of coaches, becauseI was going through a dark night
of the soul type of journey inmy life and a lot of coaches
(06:13):
really showed up for me andhelped me, not only as life
coaches but health coaches, asbusiness coaches, people who
really educated me in differentfields of life and work with me
in many different fields of life.
That really transformed mystory from then on.
I mean, I was wildly successfulbefore that but deeply unhappy,
and now, I dare say, but I'mvery happy, very successful,
very content and very joyful asa person and live the best life
(06:36):
I never imagined I could have.
So coaches helped metremendously.
That got me introduced to theidea of coaching, got me
interested in the idea ofcoaching, has helped me
tremendously.
That got me introduced to theidea of coaching, got me
interested in the idea ofcoaching and that started my
journey as a coach.
So now I act as a business or apersonal coach to people and at
the same point of time, I runan enterprise called mind valley
coach which helps coaches getbetter, get certified, get
started in their journey.
(06:58):
I do want to, if that's okay.
I'll like to reflect on on theopening comment that you, if
that's okay, is that okay, jason, please?
Yeah, so in passing, you said,or what I understood of what you
said, was across the world,everybody is a job and then they
are a coach.
Well, I would wish that thatwas the case, and the reason why
I say that is because, while weare inundated by life coaches
(07:23):
and business coaches onInstagram, they're actually far
too few.
They're far too few people whoactually spread the messages of
positivity, message of growth,message of personal development,
and so it's true for therapistsas well.
There are way too few.
They're not too many, they'retoo few.
And the reason why you feelinundated with such messages is
because usually people who havean affirmative, positive mindset
(07:45):
tend to create more.
It's just known by data, right?
If you're more positive, youlive longer, you create more,
you tend to do more things inlife and because of that, when
you turn into a coach, or whenyou turn into a coach mindset or
a therapist mindset, you tendto have a positive mindset,
which effectively means you tendto become a creator.
Guess what happens?
If you are a creator among manyconsumers, your content is seen
(08:07):
more, and so suddenly you thinkthe world is like this.
It's not true.
If you look at the people whoare followed most in the world
today, even they're not positivecreators, they're artists.
But that doesn't meaneverybody's an artist, right.
Everybody's not going out inthe world and saying, oh,
everybody is only buying fromKylie Jenner.
Now, that's not true.
(08:27):
She's just more famous and thattends to be that if you follow
her, you tend to follow more ofwhatever she says.
But even Kylie Jenner turns ahat sometimes and talks like a
coach because inherently sheneeds to have a positive mindset
to create anything successfulin life, right.
So thinking there are too manycoaches is actually a thing that
comes up in our mind because ofsocial contagion that we get
(08:49):
into and social container thatwe get into.
It's actually too few coachesin the world.
We are a population of, I think, 8 billion people in the world.
There are less than 200,000coaches in the world.
That doesn't even scratch thesurface of the number of coaches
that are required to changesociety overall, to be more
affirmative, right?
So if you really think aboutfrom a context of society,
(09:11):
context of what is required inthe world, we will probably not
be done until we have 100million coaches in the world and
we're not even close to that,so we're not even started that
journey.
We probably have a thousand andthat's also me pushing it.
We probably have 20,000 or 30,or maybe maybe a hundred
thousand, let's say globally.
That's all we are talking about.
(09:31):
That is very, very, very few.
That doesn't even make a dentin the universe.
That's, that's nothing.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
It makes so much sense?
Right, because growing up Iplayed sports and we had coaches
.
Right, but what made them acoach?
They decided to offer theirtime, effort and energy and
wisdom, and it doesn'tnecessarily mean that they were
better at playing the game thanwe were as elementary school
kids.
It means that they had aparticular knowledge and wisdom
in an area that they were ableto share and to guide and,
(09:59):
hopefully right, stand on theside and cheer and coach right
and uplift you on.
And I see that and I actuallyjust had a conversation with, so
my graduate school here inSouth Florida, nova Southeastern
University, one of the coursesthey've added subsequently
recently over the last couple ofyears I graduated in 2005,.
They do have a coaching classnow as a credit course in the
(10:22):
graduate level, doctoral levelcourse.
There is a reason why this ishappening.
There's a reason why thesetools are needed to be taught.
The cool thing is and one ofthe things that we you know, I
mentioned that I took a trainingwith Rich, with Rich Litvin,
right, everything I saw himdoing.
I'm like, oh, that's reallycool.
That's just, you know a lot ofit's solution focused, solution
oriented coaching, which cameout of the family therapy
(10:44):
systems training.
It was excited to me to seesomeone doing it so well and it
made me happy that thisinformation and knowledge is
getting out there and therefore,right, it was like, oh okay, so
this stuff can work for people,especially when you take away
the thing of like it's nottherapy, right the stigma of
(11:05):
that, which I think, agreeingwith you that we need more
people out there helping otherpeople.
So it's a really cool thing tosee, right?
The vantage point that I waslooking at is, like you know,
there is, there's dangers.
There are people who eventherapists and doctors who
shouldn't be doing what they'redoing and doctors who shouldn't
be doing what they're doing.
But I'm so glad to see and thisis why I was so excited to talk
(11:27):
to you is because the communitythat you're participating,
you've helped create, you'rehelping evolve, is making sure
that people are getting real,legitimate, amazing support
training to help other peopleget the support and training.
So talk to me a little bitabout that, right?
Because I feel like, from whatI've experienced over the last
many years, watching a lot ofcontent coming out of your
(11:48):
businesses and your communitieshas been incredible, and yet I
know that there are people outthere being the naysayers, but
tell me why you focused on theareas and the arenas, like the
(12:10):
answer you gave was just such awonderful.
We need more, we need morelight, we need more happiness.
Right, very Dharma, right yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, no, absolutely, and I think so.
I don't necessarily see peopleas naysayers.
I think there's a.
Usually we don't invest enoughtime in understanding what is
what, and also we take oneexperience as a catch-all
experience.
Let me expound that a littlebit more.
So to me, the therapeutic worldis the world that deals and
(12:43):
mostly focuses not completely.
Especially nowadays, I'm seeingmore and more therapists that
actually are also taking acoaching hat, for that matter.
More therapists are writingbooks that almost sound like
coaching to me as a coach, right, and, and, and what I've found
is the, if I go to a traditionaltherapist, their entire focus
stays on your past.
And because their entire focusstays on their past, they almost
(13:06):
don't consider that maybe it isnot doing a service to the
person that they're working with, because it's just keeping them
in their past hole to thinkthey need to let go of every
stone in their bag instead ofjust dropping the bag and moving
on Right.
To give a metaphorical example,sure, and I'm not saying
everybody is the same, it's not.
It's.
To me, therapy deals mostly inhelping you get rid of that bag,
(13:31):
like you have a baggage thatyou're carrying.
Let's get over it.
From my understanding oftherapy.
It is based on Freudianpsychology principles.
Right Is Freud the fundamental-.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
When you have that world of traditional old school
psychology right, you have thatone world right, the pathology,
the diagnosis.
The beautiful thing is just toreclarify is my training at Nova
, southeastern and FortLauderdale systems, postmodern
family therapy.
Cybernetics is all of leaninginto that solution oriented
solution, right, the thinking ofright, the, the, the meta of
(14:05):
right.
It's not the problem, it's yourbelief about the problem.
That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
So you and I are aligned in all of that.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's where therapy and coaching also intersect.
That the newer way of doingtherapy, which, again, like I'm
not saying.
That's why it's very importantto notice where somebody is
coming from and where they'regoing to really be able to
comment on the nuances of whatis this and what is that Right?
So coaching does nothing to dowith past, like I don't.
I don't ask a question aboutwhy you are the way you are and
(14:32):
all that.
I might do that to build arelationship with you so I can
understand you, but I ain'ttrying to help you lose your bag
, right?
My point is to say there is nobag and it comes from if I have
to correlate to the timeline, itcomes from Alfred Adler, who
was a psychologist at the sametime had his own research, his
(14:53):
theories and his understandingof the world was there is no
baggage, there is no past.
You don't have to worry aboutit.
The only thing that matters isnow.
So if you decide right now,everything's already different,
right?
So if he was today and I'm kindof probably butchering his
world and he might be turning inhis grave as I, as I butcher it
, but if he was here today, hewould say there is no trauma.
(15:13):
Trauma is a story that you toldyourself enough times and hence
you have trauma.
Drop the story, drop the traumaand go on to the future.
Now, I would never adviseanybody that, right, because I'm
not a therapist.
And the moment somebody saystrauma, I said talk to a
therapist, or here's one to talkto, right.
So I would never attach, Iwouldn't trigger it, I wouldn't
go into it, and that's not whatcoaches should do.
(15:35):
Right, and that's where theproblem rises is somewhere along
the line, because it is such.
It's a hypothetical science,like most sciences, right,
there's a lot of hypotheticalsthat are in there.
There's a lot of understandingsand different understandings of
things and how words are beingsaid and so on, so forth.
It's somewhere along the line.
People who were eitherinterested in therapy or were
(15:55):
therapists started, which wereright in the sense of they
started doing coaching, but alot of coaches thought that was
okay to take them into therapy.
You know what I mean.
So, while they were not trainedon any of the therapeutic
models and hadn't done theresearch like, say, you have
done, or training like you havedone, they just simply thought
it's easy for me, and I do seethat and I do call people out
when I see that is they dwell inthe past so much that they
(16:19):
re-trigger trauma for people andthat's what it makes us unsafe
as a coaching model and that'salso why we became so passionate
about training people.
Because it's literally likeright before our call I was
doing one of our cohort callsand I said if you're doing
trauma work, you must understandwe do not train you on this and
you should not do trauma unlessyou're certified by an
(16:40):
organization that teaches youhow to do trauma work.
Do you understand this Right?
Literally, on my calls on ourcertification, everywhere we
make sure people understand thatthey do not get to touch the
past of people because we don'ttrain them on it.
We simply say 95% of the world,or 90% of the world do not have
(17:01):
such deep trauma that they needto drop the entire bag.
They can work with the newermodels of therapy or coaching
models, which simply says thereis no trauma, there is no past.
This is a very crude and simpleway of saying it, but basically
saying that past does not matterbecause present is the only
time and we can work from hereand then become strategic.
It's about reorganizing yourmind.
(17:21):
It becomes about habits andbehaviors to change, which are
nothing which you don't needthat kind of deep training for,
because there are simple reframe, simple mindset, simple ways,
different ways of looking atthings.
Anybody can do it till the timethey've had some understanding
of language and someunderstanding of how human
beings work.
So what we do is we do animmersive work towards that
(17:43):
spectrum and we make it a pointthat we don't don't get them to
go into the past and traumaticevents of people.
Now, like you said, there arepeople who do that and there's
that is the challenge of thatwhole segment of the industry.
But that is also a thing andthe truth of anything that is
new and different there will beand it's not that people are
(18:04):
trying to be bad, but they willend up in a spectrum where it's
risky and dangerous.
They feel comfortable and sothey go into it.
That is how, also as humanity,we discover things, but it's
also the way we destroy things.
So that's where we have to bemindful and you're very right in
that point in time.
(18:28):
I do feel this phase ofcoaching, this growth of
coaching, this interest of evenbeing open to the word like
coach that is beyond sports isactually a net net positive for
humanity by not a small margin,but a great margin yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I agree with you right.
It's the.
I had one of my clients thismorning, you know, going through
some difficult things.
I wouldn't necessarily call itclinical.
It's a lot of the story.
It's a lot of the self-beliefs.
It's about where do you want togo right?
What were you buying into thatgot you stuck?
That you didn't realize got youstuck that thought you thought
was going to get you a betteroutcome?
And the questions that I alwayslook forward to asking in the
(19:00):
way I was trained very similarto what you're saying.
Right Is that is theperspective of how.
How did I phrase it Once youknew what you needed to do
differently?
How difficult was it actuallyfor you?
How much effort did youactually have to put into it to
change this momentum?
(19:21):
And my client responded it wasactually surprisingly, really
easy I'm like easier than theresistance to do it right.
In other words, doing it waseasier than the resistance to
not doing it.
And part of that came around allof that.
Where do you want to be?
Why did you want to get therein the first place?
And I love and I don't know ifI heard this from one of the
videos of one of your community,I don't know if this is
(19:43):
something from one of yourcolleagues, but when we ask
people what they want, it's alsoand I want you to talk a little
bit more about this is thatwhen people are focusing on
goals, people are coming intohey, I'm struggling with my
career or I'm struggling with mycoaching business.
Be better for them.
(20:05):
What would be the things thatthey didn't even realize might
come up as new challenges withthat.
But it's not just the I wantthis to happen, but it's making
sense of the meaning behind allof that.
So I was wondering if you canelaborate a little bit more on
that from your perspective,because I think that's something
that I've enhanced for my jobas a therapist from the coaching
world to ask my clients an evenbetter question.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah.
So it's very, very, very goodquestion and it is a very common
challenge in society at large.
What tends to happen, at leastin my experience of working with
clients, is most goals areinformed by society around us.
So if you talk to a person thathangs out with millionaires or
looks at millionaires on socialmedia and so forth, their goal
would be I want to make amillion dollars.
If you hang out with a personthat is making billions,
(20:48):
suddenly you want to be abillionaire.
Or you see a lot more socialbillionaires.
Now you want to be abillionaire, which is also where
you see societal languagechanges.
Right?
Suddenly, everybody wants tostart an AI company, because we
are talking a lot about AIcompanies.
Right, everybody wanted to doBitcoin when it was all about
cryptocurrency.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Which would also make sense about people wanting to
coach more because they'reseeing it again on it's in the
zeitgeist.
It's in the zeitgeist of ourculture.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yeah, it's much needed than Bitcoin.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I'm still not getting rid of my Bitcoin or a money
goal direction.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's a lot more important in the zeitgeist
because of how the society isevolving and we need more
trained individuals, but anyways.
But yes, it is important andthat's why the language and the
circle that you hang out inmatters, because your goals
usually will align to thosepeople, right, right, or the
information that you're getting,because it's harder for us to
go inside than to take thingsfrom outside.
(21:44):
Inside than to take things fromoutside.
It's much easier for me togather what Jason's doing and go
oh, jason's a therapist whoalso uses coaching methodology,
or he has trained in allmodalities and so I should do
that.
Right, it's much easier for meto relate to Jason's experience
than to go.
What do I want?
Right, and the less we ask thequestion of what do I want, the
(22:08):
more chaotic our life is goingto be.
Right, because the environmentaround you will keep changing.
It always changes, right.
It will change with thepolitical party that comes in
power, the, the new war thatmight start.
It will change by people thatyou're surrounding yourself.
A change in work quality,change in your work environment,
(22:29):
your situation, yoursurroundings are going to change
all the time and if they don't,your life will become mundane,
right?
So you are at a dance always tosay, oh, do I change always and
be in chaos, or do I staymundane and get bored out of my
mind in my life, right?
And there is a third part thatwe don't explore as much of, and
the third part is to askourselves what do I really want?
(22:52):
Because then you startinfluencing the society around
you, so instead of beinginfluenced, you actually become
an influencer of the worldaround you, and that allows you
to be able to create a yourtruth whatever that truth is,
and also inform people aroundyou.
To ask that deeper question ofasking, hey, what's your truth?
Like?
Ask yourself that question thatI ask myself, right?
(23:15):
So because of that, if we couldask ourselves as a society, if
you could move towards thatdialogue and move towards the
idea that if I create long-termclarity in my life, create
long-term clarity in my life, Iwill have less of short-term
chaos, then I can change my life, I can change society, I can
live a more informed, drivenlife and you will find that
(23:36):
short-term chaoses will go away.
Short-term inflection based onwhat's happening around you goes
away because you know whereyou're going.
You have a long-term claritytowards the direction of travel
that you're having.
And then, yes, goals will vary.
Things will happen.
Things will not happen, butyou'll learn how to deal with it
, because your vision, yourpurpose, your direction is still
very informed by a 10 or a 20or a 30-year goal that you're
(23:57):
walking towards.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
I'm reflecting on a conversation I had with a client
the other day who's beenworking with a strategic
financial planner and they'regetting close to that retirement
period and the conversations,from my understanding, seem to
be led about what the financialplanner has decided, or at least
maybe unconsciously coercedthem into believing, what
(24:24):
they'll be okay at on the pathand what they need to do in
order to get this number thatwill allow them to move into a
retirement phase and pick up andmove and have a lifestyle
that's accommodating to whatthey're dreaming.
And I'm hearing this and I'vebeen reflecting this back with
them as well, and I'm hearingeven more so from what you're
saying of.
I want to go back to them nowand ask them where did that
(24:48):
particular number or numberscome from?
Because I know that we've hadconversations around.
What's the life going to looklike for them and how can you
have the life you want withoutthe anxiety around, even if you
do have all of that money?
That seems to be the numberthat even your financial planner
says will allow you.
It's not well.
(25:08):
Why is there so anxiety?
Well, there's an old story andthere's some Trump right.
Whatever it is that you want towrite family of origin stuff
and and stuff.
That way I can work out with myintegrative mind body
modalities.
That's more somatic, but whopick?
Who pick those numbers andwhat's the meaning and belief
behind those numbers?
And I think that just reallydoes reinforce exactly what
(25:28):
you're sharing.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, and there's an interesting just because you
talked about retirement, andthis is a study I read is
people's health starts todeteriorate after they retire.
They seem to shorten theirlifespan it's not conclusive,
but it seems like trendingtowards it, and which is why
often it's advised to dosomething, even once you're
(25:52):
retired, and a lot of peopledon't do that.
A lot of people just retire andthey retire for good, and
within the first three or fiveyears I think one of those
numbers they would see a hugedecline in their wellbeing
because they don't know what todo with their life anymore,
right?
So a curious thought also whileyou're on this discovery, and
definitely that financialplanner is not a coach, clearly
(26:14):
they would have asked a betterquestion of saying why.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It might be a great financial planner, right, but
the psychology of the money isnot there, right?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
See, I tell you like everybody needs to learn.
Coaching Like this isabsolutely a global requirement.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well before you jump to the next thing what I want to
share with you in theretirement thing is one of them,
one of the partners in thatrelationship I'm like you should
absolutely become a coach.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Yeah, which is really right.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So so because I'm like, here's all the wisdom that
you have and now you can createsomething with this.
No one is doing what.
And we came up with this youknow what could you do, type of
thing, and and we navigated thatand it was like, oh my God,
that sounds amazing.
Okay, well, I don't want itcoming from me.
I want you to marinate on thatand say, jason, that sounds
really cool.
I love the idea you gave me,but it's not authentic for me.
Right, and and brought andbringing that more out of out of
(26:59):
their awareness.
But one of the things I'm likeand they've been looking into
and researching becoming a coach, cause I'm like this would be
an amazing transition from allthe things you've acquired and
learned and now you can stillmake right.
One, it will get rid of thefear of any money that you're
spending to.
You can continue helping people.
And three, you know so muchthat you'd be ripping off the
world if you don't share it.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, so true, so true, and thank God they have
you and and and.
A transitionary comment, alsofor individuals, is that,
hypothetically, when somebodyplans a retirement age or
retirement plan, is they assumea date or a year that they will
die?
Right, that's any financialplanner will go.
(27:40):
Okay, how long do you expect tolive?
Because they have to plan,especially if they're planning
for retirement, right, right,and usually that number ends up
being 75.
Or I think the average forAmerica is 82.
I could be wrong again but,that's the latest study.
Last I read was 82 or 85.
One of those two numbers,somewhere in the 80s, Used to be
76 before, and that might bethe number that the person's
(28:00):
operating from.
But if you look at the latestscience and if they do follow
science and they do take care ofthemselves, if they do, you
know, move their bodies and notjust stay sedentary, all of the
stuff that they do.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Functional medicine and mindfulness, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, if they do biohack, like basically take
care of themselves really andnot just go all right, I've
retired, I'm not going to donothing which will lead to
deterioration of health and theywill definitely pass by the
average age or something aroundthat.
But if they do take care oftheir health, it's more likely
that they would live for another10, 15 years.
Wow, right, so instead of 85,they're likely to touch a
(28:38):
hundred.
Right, and a hundred does notfeel that much harder anymore
for society where we are at,especially that is somebody
who's in their fifties orsixties right, they are likely
to touch a hundred.
People in twenties are likelyto live 120.
If science keeps progressing theway, it is because we just have
figured out how to have peoplelive longer and what are the
things that we need, and so on,so forth, while staying vital,
not like being a vegetable, butbeing vital and moving and all
that fun stuff.
(28:58):
Yeah, with that and with thatunderstanding, it reframes the
setting of the person to askreally themselves the question
of if I was to live 15 yearsmore and let's say these people
are retiring at 70,hypothetically I don't know
their retirement age let's say65, 70, that gives them 30 more
years to live.
30 more years is about almost50% of their life, of what
(29:21):
they've lived, right?
Because if they're 70, 35 yearsis 55, 50% of the life.
30 years is almost 50%, orroughly 45% or 43%, something
like that.
That's 40% more life left.
Now you don't ask forretirement because 40% of more
life.
What are you going to do withyour retirement?
(29:41):
In a week, you realize you don'tneed retirement most of the
time.
Or in a month, you're like Icannot.
I cannot just sit at home andgarden after a point.
Right, I need stimulation, Ineed something.
And that's one thing that wesometimes forget about humanity
or being human is we arecreators by default.
We cannot sit ideal behind apoint.
We think we would love it, wethink we would, and some people
(30:04):
might.
There might be some odds andends, some odd people that go
yeah, I can really sit on thebeach for a hundred days.
Right, they must be traumatizedin some ways why they would be
doing that.
But most people cannot do that.
Most people, after seven to 10days, are sick and tired of
their holiday.
Yeah, right, they need to go toa different place, they need to
(30:25):
do something.
It doesn't mean that they won'tholiday still, they'll just do
all.
Right, let's move the country,let's move the city.
Let's, let's do something else.
Let's, let's not sit here.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Oh, I did a week long cruise and like day five, I'm
like I'm done, Like this is like, this is what happens.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
It's just being human .
You cannot not create.
You get sick and tired of itand because of that, even
clients like yours, the clientsthat you're talking about, must
ask the question what is theexpected age that they will die,
and do they really think theywill die at that age?
Because most people have a verywrong number in their head,
because it's informed by eitherhow long their parents lived or
(30:57):
the oldest person they knowright.
So, yeah, that person that wasin my family.
They lived to 85, I'll probablylive to 85.
Probably not because the personthat lived to 85 was following
an old regimen.
They didn't have the doctors,they didn't have the medicine,
they didn't have the vitality,they didn't move like this.
They didn't know how to livelonger while staying vital right
.
So they had all these differentcharacteristics that you are
(31:19):
not considering that are stillapplicable to you, which
effectively means you'llprobably live longer.
So why not live healthier?
Why not live in the creativespace?
Why retire?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yeah, and I'm thinking about all the studies
in epigenetics and Dr BruceLipton and all those worlds and
how that's– Dr Bruce Lipton andall those worlds and how that's
a whole conversation I had alsothis morning was the old way of
doing things, including therapy,and that's what I loved about
my training.
I remember in about 2000, Iwent to a therapist.
(31:52):
I grew up going to that oldpsychological, the Freudian play
therapy, playing games, andthat's what I thought therapy
was.
And then I went to someone whoasked me questions that no one
has ever asked me before, in away that no one's asked them.
And I remember when I thoughtabout and I was doing informal
education and programming andworking on college campuses and
(32:12):
camps and summer programs andstuff like that.
And I remember when I'm likemost of my job every day, even
though I'm supposed to be incharge of programming, is really
building, creatingrelationships and being there
for the students in a way as ifI'm a therapist.
When they have stuff going onin their life they're coming to
me to talk to.
Right, I'm that youth mentor,slash, you know, advisor.
(32:33):
And that was when I first likemaybe I should be going to
graduate school to become atherapist and I remember, as I
was looking, I knew social workand I knew psychology and I knew
mental health counseling andI'm like, okay, so what was that
person trained in?
And they were a marriage andfamily therapist, which I delve
more into and then saw thedifference between we started
(32:54):
talking about this conversationof old school how does it make
you feel let's look for apathology and diagnosis and
let's clean all that up versusthe story when do you want to go
?
What would you like?
Let's find all the tools thatyou didn't even realize are
there, that you know, are therethat you're not leveraging, as
well as then going further intodelving into the epigenetics,
going into biology, biochemistry, stuff that I didn't even learn
(33:17):
in that, that I didn't evenlearn in that.
This is where I see the benefitthat the different worlds of
coaching is kicking therapiststo do better.
Yeah, and I'm very appreciativeof that in that regards,
because then I can go back whenyou're talking about before.
(33:37):
Why do you want to do thisright?
Is it because of something elseout there or not Realizing how
much of as a therapist, how muchI'm not doing within my
traditional therapy community,versus what I'm doing and
learning and who I'm hanging outwith outside of that world,
because I wasn't getting what Ineeded to become a best
(33:59):
therapist within the therapyworld, the world of all the
mind-body stuff, neuro-emotionaltechnique, which I am certified
in all.
Forget even hypnosis.
Hypnosis was graduate schoolstuff.
Right, that was great, it wasamazing.
And then I am like, ah, there'smore, there's more.
There's my body, there's afunctional medicine, functional
nutrition, there's this stuffthat you're doing.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, and, and I and I know that it is so true and it
is so important what you aredoing, because it's also pushing
your colleagues to think alittle bit more broader than the
, than the lane they might havebeen set into, and I know that
that lane is still most of theindustry, unfortunately.
(34:40):
And that's why it's important,for what you are doing is
because the other day I waswatching this comedian.
I don't know if you know aboutit, it's just you could probably
Google it later.
It's just funny the way he saysit.
He's cracking a joke about histherapist.
His name is Hasan Minhaj.
Oh yeah, of course, indian,american comedian yeah and he
was, I think on one of the.
Jimmy's show and he was, I think, on one of those one of the one
(35:00):
of the Jimmy's show and and hetalks about, and one line that I
was like I was laughing my assoff, uh was that he says you do
realize, therapists, that thepoint of therapy is to get out
of it.
It is just funny way to saythat how a lot of therapists
still do operate in in majoritypart of the world is they just
keep the client forever, andthat's not the point.
(35:23):
That's that's.
That's absolutely counter tothe point.
The point is a person doingwork with you may stay with you,
but for very different reasons,right Still saying, oh, I'm
dealing with the same issue Ihad 20 years ago.
Now we're talking aboutdifferent things, a different
problem we're solving, yeah, andthat that makes sense because
human beings will always evolveand so we always need support of
(35:43):
a coach and a therapist.
A hundred percent.
The therapist needs to take anapproach like you're taking, and
I love that you're alsoincluding functional medicine,
which which, what, what it tellsme is that you're bringing in
the body, which is so importantto take care of a person, is to
clean up their nutrition, theirdiet, their, what they're doing
(36:04):
with their body, because that'sthe vessel that holds the brain,
and if you don't do somethingwith this, this is harder.
It becomes easier because yougo to the gym and lift some
weights and you do a little bitof cardio or eat a little bit
better.
Your mind is so much more inpartnership with you because
you've taken care of the vesselthat holds it.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Yeah, yeah, I'm just reflecting on my own journey.
My grandmother's brother bothof her brothers were old school
psychiatrists, md psychiatristsand exactly like that where they
had their clients forever andever and ever and ever and ever.
And I remember when I startedadvertising, one of the things
(36:45):
that I put on there is my job isto get you to fire me as soon
as possible.
And how many clients over theyears who said, when I was
looking through profiles, what,besides the other things in your
training and specialization?
But that really stood out to meand I'm like, well, number one,
like it doesn't mean fire meand like get me out of your life
.
It means like let's solve thisproblem that you already
(37:07):
probably know how to solve, butlet's just get you out of the
way of that too.
We'll handle that, and thenwhen you need something in the
future, you'll come back whenyou need it, but it doesn't mean
you need to see me every weekfor the rest of your life.
Right, that whole dependence onold school mindset was
something, thankfully, that Inever was born in.
But it's so funny to see wheremy family came from on that side
and where I am on the otherside, because I like joking that
(37:29):
doing psychedelic and plantmedicine for healing and for
personal growth.
So, just to see within, youknow two generations of of that
and what's going on, and maybethat's and maybe that's the
(37:50):
conversation that therapists andcoaches need to have more
together and share with theworld.
Together is what happens whenwe bring the best of the both
worlds together.
Instead of, like you know, thething that we always talk about
is coaches.
Talk about well, coaches.
Only, you know, coaches focuson the present and the future
and therapists only focus on thepast.
And you have people like me.
You're like, well, that's nottrue, that's not our, that's not
(38:11):
our training whatsoever, right.
And then you have therapistsare like, nope, coaches are
doing trauma and they're doingall these things that are right.
And and these are theconversations and one of the
many reasons why I was soexcited to have you on here as a
leader in your community, as arepresentative and a leader of
your community who's trainingother people of what are the
conversations that?
Maybe, maybe this is what doyou think are some of the
(38:32):
conversations that the best ofmy field and the best of your
field need to sit down and havea platform together to have to
move the entire personaldevelopment healing industry
forward exponentially fasterthan waiting for the.
You know you guys are doingthis a little bit better, we're
doing that a little bit better,you for sure doing marketing way
(38:54):
better than therapists are.
But we have things where wecan't do.
You know we can't have peoplewrite us reviews and we can't
have people disclosing rightCause of all those ethical
things, right?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I think that there's some.
What do you think?
Some of the reason why I'm lostfor words is because I feel the
challenge would not be thepeople in the industry.
The problem will be theregulation around industries.
So and the reason is prettystraightforward I think a lot of
therapists use what we say ascoaching methodologies.
Again, I'm not saying that wedeveloped it, because we also
(39:39):
are informed by studies and soforth.
It's not like we like.
There was one coach who satdown and said this is the
methodology for the matter.
You get no results if you usethe traditional coaching
methodology.
It's kind of like a traditionaltherapy methodology.
It doesn't work.
It won't get you anywhere.
It will get you a contract witha company who, again, the HR
(40:01):
team just doesn't know better iswhy you are hired.
It's not because you actuallycan drive any results for the
company whatsoever, but so it'sa.
I think the people in both theindustries are already trying to
merge what they can.
For example, a lot of ourfriends who are not traditional
therapists, because they alsokind of did the therapy route,
(40:23):
got really successful, wrotebooks, became authors.
So now they don't do therapy inthe sense of sitting down and
really do therapy, but theybuilt models on top of it that
help people, usuallyhypnotherapy models, because
they are easier to train on.
And they built those like.
Paul McKenna is one of them.
He's very respected therapist,hypnotherapist, probably the
(40:43):
most respected in the UK and hesaid hey, listen, I'm going to
take this model and buildhypnotherapy that a coach can
learn and then they look at thelocal law and see if they can do
it or not.
But they can at least use someof the language techniques that
they learn in their day to daycoaching because it's not
intrusive.
The thinking of it versus thepractice of it, right, yeah,
yeah, yeah, so it's more like,but it's still in that scenario.
(41:04):
What happens is we have to go,okay, but you have to check the
local law because in somecountries hypnotherapy is
illegal.
In some countries they don'tcare Right, they're like
hypnotherapy is just ameditative exercise, they don't
actually think person, so it'scompletely legal for you to
practice.
Or in Florida.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
The language is hypno .
You can't call yourself legallya hypnotherapist unless you're
a licensed medical practitioner.
You can say I do hypnosis.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
And there is someone out there and it's funny the
state yeah, right, but you can'tuse the word therapy.
Therapy is a protected titleRight so you can say I do
hypnosis, or hypnosis Right.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, it's just terminology for a lot of things,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Yeah.
So that's kind of how it kindof works in the world, and I
think that's where therapy isalready.
Like you said, and like I'mreading the newer books by
hypnotherapists nothypnotherapists, sorry,
therapists because I readeverything that I feel is
interesting and I would consumeit at at a great pace and a
great rate and I feel there's somany reflections of what we
(42:05):
advocate for, even if nobodyreally owns it per se, I think.
But we advocate for, hey, it'sokay to have a past, you can
move into the future.
That's the advocacy of coachingand I think more and more
therapists are leaning into itat least the new books are all
leaning into it, which I'mreally happy to see.
Like that's great.
I mean, it makes a lot of ourwork actually easier because we
(42:28):
don't have to do it andtherapists can do it and we're
fine with that.
We don't care for what's yourtitle.
That's not the reason why westarted what we started.
We always fundamentally believethat if we were able to change
a billion people, we can changethe world.
But to change a billion people,to try and do it as a company,
(42:49):
is incredibly difficult becauseyou have to sell the idea of
personal growth.
You have to.
You know you have to be in aframe.
It's not an e-commerce, it'smore a mindset.
It's harder to sell all of thatstuff, but if I can train a
million coaches, 10 millioncoaches, over the course of my
lifetime, I have the ability toimpact a billion lives.
And if I impact a billion lives, I do think that we'll need
(43:13):
some sense of that capacity, notonly because, if see, the world
is getting easier to live inbut more complicated at the same
time.
Right, we have a lot moreresources, we know how to
harness a lot more resources, weare able to build great
technologies and great citiesand great worlds around the
globe, but we still fall down tothe level of war.
We still will be at a loss ofjob when AI takes over some of
(43:36):
those jobs.
Right, all of that requires forus to be having that mental
fortitude.
Otherwise, the poor will getpoorer and rich will get richer,
and that's not a great societyto be in, because there is such
a disparity that this class thatsay poor getting poorer, will
find it really difficult to getto a place where they can be
abundant too, and withoutabundance and without money
(43:58):
going around, it is very hard tolive a good life, even if you
have all the resources in theworld, right?
So how do we play our part inthat society as therapists, as
coaches, is to help people buildthat mental fortitude to be
able to help themselves, to beable to pass on the education,
the training, the tools, thetechniques so we as individuals
(44:21):
can do better in a situationthat otherwise feel impossible.
Because that's what happensright when we are in the
shitstorm, we feel this is animpossible state.
I need to survive, I cannotthrive.
That's the mindset that weoperate in and other individuals
that operate and find it hardto thrive.
Guess how we can change thatmindset?
By actually actively coachingthem, working with them, keeping
(44:42):
their presence to today,helping them understand the
concept of time and the conceptof building things, all of those
things that are important thatonly as of now is available to a
small community of people thatcan either afford a therapist,
afford a coach or affordpersonal growth programs and
seminars, which is maybe 10, 20%of the world, right, personal
growth programs and seminars,which is maybe 10, 20% of the
(45:05):
world, and that also, it's noteven that, for that matter.
Probably that even is not maybea higher number that I'm talking
about, because it is not cheapto go to a therapist, it is not
cheap to work with a coach.
Personal growth programs havebecome more affordable.
Thank goodness for that.
But what we are really tryingto do from our point is to make
this understanding, thiseducation, this training, these
tools available at the lowestcost possible.
Right, because we, asMindvalley, have the benefit
(45:29):
that we got into this placeearly enough that we have volume
now, right?
So that's the thing, that'sreally the whole idea here that
we yeah, that if we can elevateall of us, we can change
humanity for good.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
And I think that's a beautiful thing.
And wrapping it up with this, isthat one of the things that I
have really appreciated over thelast couple of years of knowing
a little bit, consuming a lot,but knowing a little bit about
the community as a whole butjust consuming a ton of you know
what you're putting out there.
So much of it's right, theYouTube channel alone, or right
(46:05):
Following you on your socialmedia.
I mean, that's, I think, wherethe leverage of why I'm doing
this, like I only, like I saidat the introduction, I can only
see 30 to 40 people, you know,slash couples, families,
whatever but I can only have thebandwidth for about 30
something sessions a week andthis platform helps me one get
in front of people who are doingreally powerful and beautiful
(46:26):
things.
Trickle down that informationwhich I'm taking a lot of from
these conversations back to myclients, but also people are not
yet my clients or could beworking with one of the guests,
because I can't accomplish itall.
I can't do it all.
I just want to be a platformwhere people can have easy
access.
Yes, it's a marketing push,sure, right, you get to see what
it's like to work with mewithout working with me which I
think is wonderful about all thevideos that are put out.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Yeah, but it's value first.
So I think it's value first.
Like.
It's like hey, let's worktogether, everybody's winning.
I think this whole mindset ofbecause we are information
provider I'm not saying you haveit, I think some people have it
is that the mindset is oh, I'mproviding information, you know,
(47:09):
is it a money grab?
It's not.
You're providing value.
Somebody gets something andmost of the time their life gets
better, not just better, waybetter, like it's not a marginal
increase.
A person can 10X, 20xthemselves if they work with the
right person over the course ofa year and I can say that
because I've seen it again andagain again 10 and 20X in their
(47:32):
health, in their wellbeing,things that they've struggled
and suffered for their entirelife.
If somebody that's listening tothis podcast is going, you know
it's available to them and notto me.
I invite you to go talk tojason or talk to someone that
you trust and are willing toplay with.
But play for a year, let godeep, go hard, find yourself and
you'll see anything that youbelieve that is not available to
(47:53):
you is actually available toyou.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
Yeah I couldn't agree with you more could not agree
with you more, and that's that'swhy i's why I love the language
of inviting.
That is one of the things,right.
It's one that's also veryhypnosis language, hypnosis
logic, using the words and thephrasing of hypnosis, but that's
one of the things that I loveabout members of your community
that I've watched and witnessedusing and empowering their
(48:16):
clients and empowering theirclients.
Come play with me, let's play agame.
Humor me, right, which is a lotof what I was trained in, but
it's awesome to see where thisrelationship is shared together
versus.
I'm going to tell you what todo, which is what we're all
trying to get rid of.
So I just want to finish up with, well you know, with one, first
thanking you and two, all thedifferent ways that people can
(48:40):
get in touch with you firstthanking you.
And to, um, all the differentways that people can get in
touch with you.
Learn more about the differentprogramming, uh, that you're
offering and the things thatyou're partnered with.
And the books where, whereshould they go?
Where, where should someonestart?
Cause there's a billion ways tofind you, but where should
someone start?
Speaker 2 (48:52):
So, so great way to start is go to Instagram.
Look for real coach.
That's where I post my latestuh videos every day and it's
only like 30, 60 seconds andit'll give you an insight.
It's a good place to start.
If you're looking to read abook, go ahead and I'll send you
over a link.
We allow free download of mylatest book called Live Big.
(49:12):
I don't remember the link onthe top of my mind, but we'll
send it over to you, jason, ifmy team has already not sent it
over to you and has already notsent it over to you, and we can
link it up.
If you want to take a deep dive, I do my certifications in
partnership with Mindvalley, sogo to mindvalleycom slash certs
(49:32):
C-E-R-T-S and you will find allthe different certifications we
provide.
I do for life and business inpartnership with other authors
that I bring on as guest faculty.
So those are some things to do.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Beautiful, and I do want to push your podcast that
you have as well, so let's sharethat name as well.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Yes, so we might rename them by the time this
podcast comes out, but for nowit's called Master Coaching with
Ajit.
We are thinking about renamingit and relaunching it in about
six weeks from now, so it mightbe different by the time this
comes out.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
But if you go on and you subscribe now, whatever it
transfers over over to whoever'sout there.
Just go go find it today whileyou're listening to it.
Don't if you're driving, don'tdo it right now, but go
subscribe to it so if it changes, you'll know that it's.
It's there and you don't haveto research.
You know any more of it.
And again, I really want tothank you.
I'm really I'm appreciative ofone, the.
It's the beginning of 2024.
This episode probably won'tcome out for a little bit, but
(50:28):
right now, like you said,there's a lot of turmoil in the
world.
It is getting easier on somelevels, but there's a lot more
chaos, and I'm a big fan ofpeople who are helping bring
simplicity on the far side ofcomplexity into the world, and I
really do want to thank you forcontributing and enhancing the
world through your mission.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Thank you, jason.
Thank you for having me.
It's great talking to you, mypleasure.
Wow, welcome back to another upcoming episode of the
you winning life podcast.
I'm Jason Wasser, licensedmarriage and family therapist,
and, as you know, we're gettingclose to episode 200 of this
show, and one of the things Ifirst want to thank everybody
for is listening and sharing andbeing part of my mission of
(00:37):
getting really incredible peoplewho are sharing their life,
their wisdom and theirexperiences with everybody out
there, because I can't justaccomplish it all within my
therapy practice every week.
I only have a certain amount ofhours a week and there's so
much wonderful things that I'mlearning and growing personally
with that.
(00:57):
I want to share with everybodyas much as possible, and having
this podcast is the platform inwhich I presently chose in order
to help me get that informationout there, and today's going to
be no different.
Today we're hanging out with thefounder of EverCoach and the
Dharma Coaching Institute.
(01:18):
He was also one of the theco-founders of Mindvalley, where
he previously was the CEO and amajor leading voice in the
coaching space.
His name is Ajit Nawalka and hehas spent the last many years
working helping formulatecoaching programs, working with
(01:41):
both coaches and people, bothfrom the, helping them learn how
to coach, and helping those inthe business world and personal
development really achieve andexcel.
He's an author of multiplebooks and has an incredible
presence on social media,including being in Forbes and
(02:03):
Entertainer Magazine andspeaking on stages, including
his own podcast, master Coachingwith Ajit.
So I very much look forward toyou guys getting as much value
out of this and I'm superexcited to be sharing this with
you.
And if you have been thinkingabout doing some therapy and
(02:23):
perhaps even some coaching foryour professional life or your
business, or some dynamics thatare going on that you'd like to
make changes with, I do havesome spaces available over the
next few months to take on asmall handful of new clients, so
please do not hesitate to reachout to me, and we'd also love
(02:45):
to hear your feedback on ourguests on the show, on things
you'd like to hear, on thingsyou have questions about, from
things you did hear, and alwaysfeel free to reach out to me on
Instagram, jason Wasser LMFT,and our website,
thefamilyroomsflcom, is a greatplace to find out about all of
the therapy and events and allthese other things that we're
(03:07):
doing.
But, please, we'd love to hearfrom you, I'd love to hear from
you and, without further ado.
Please enjoy the episode, allright.
Well, first of all, welcome andthank you for hanging out with
us today.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Thank you so much, jason.
Thank you so much for having me, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So, so, as I said in our our pre-conversation, those
are one of my favorite things tohave as the pre-conversation
because sometimes somethingcomes up that you would never
even consider asking.
And and here I am now.
I'm a therapist and thecoaching world has become you
know, I joke that everybody inFlorida has their job and
they're a realtor and everywhereelse in the world it's becoming
(03:45):
a thing where everybody'sbecoming a coach and we as
therapists we struggle with thatbecause you know we have
training and master's degreesand licensure and rules and
regulations and CEOs and a lotof that has evolved in the um in
the coaching world.
But I would love to hear onejust your experience of, from
your background, growing up inthe family you have and the
(04:06):
culture you have, you know where, where, where that fits in,
where self-help,self-development first became
embedded in something that youknew was part of your purpose
and part of your potential.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
So I discovered personal development much later
in life.
So where where I, where Istarted was?
I grew up in India in ahousehold of 23 people, which is
called joint family in India.
It's not unheard of there, it'sa common practice.
But the way I approached it wasfrom a reality where I felt
that I was constrained for space, that we didn't have abundance,
(04:42):
that we couldn't do things thatwe want to do or I couldn't do
things that I wanted to do orhave things I wanted to have or
live the life in a way that Ithought we should live and every
human should live, not just me.
And because of those questionsthat I asked myself early on, or
those situations that I foundmyself on early on, I became a
sponge from people who I thoughtto be more successful than I
(05:05):
was, people I thought were aheadof the curve, people who were
learning more, growing more, hadthe things that I wanted to
have.
And so because of that frame ofreference that I started my
journey, I got introduced tomentorship and questioning
things very early on.
But the idea of personaldevelopment I only kind of the
(05:25):
first book I was ever given to,and it was the only book that I
read for a very long time waswho Moved my Cheese when I was
like 21 years old and that wasthe first personal development
book I read.
And then I didn't read any bookfor many, many years until I
joined this company.
That was a tiny company at thetime and now it's a big
enterprise called Mindvalley.
And then I got reintroduced tothe idea of personal growth and
(05:50):
really started to inquire as toand this is now about 15 years
ago I really got introduced notonly to books but to personal
growth work and so I starteddoing all that work and that has
really tremendously helped me.
And about eight years ago Iswitched directions because I
hired a lot of coaches, becauseI was going through a dark night
of the soul type of journey inmy life and a lot of coaches
(06:13):
really showed up for me andhelped me, not only as life
coaches but health coaches, asbusiness coaches, people who
really educated me in differentfields of life and work with me
in many different fields of life.
That really transformed mystory from then on.
I mean, I was wildly successfulbefore that but deeply unhappy,
and now, I dare say, but I'mvery happy, very successful,
very content and very joyful asa person and live the best life
(06:36):
I never imagined I could have.
So coaches helped metremendously.
That got me introduced to theidea of coaching, got me
interested in the idea ofcoaching, has helped me
tremendously.
That got me introduced to theidea of coaching, got me
interested in the idea ofcoaching and that started my
journey as a coach.
So now I act as a business or apersonal coach to people and at
the same point of time, I runan enterprise called mind valley
coach which helps coaches getbetter, get certified, get
started in their journey.
(06:58):
I do want to, if that's okay.
I'll like to reflect on on theopening comment that you, if
that's okay, is that okay, jason, please?
Yeah, so in passing, you said,or what I understood of what you
said, was across the world,everybody is a job and then they
are a coach.
Well, I would wish that thatwas the case, and the reason why
I say that is because, while weare inundated by life coaches
(07:23):
and business coaches onInstagram, they're actually far
too few.
They're far too few people whoactually spread the messages of
positivity, message of growth,message of personal development,
and so it's true for therapistsas well.
There are way too few.
They're not too many, they'retoo few.
And the reason why you feelinundated with such messages is
because usually people who havean affirmative, positive mindset
(07:45):
tend to create more.
It's just known by data, right?
If you're more positive, youlive longer, you create more,
you tend to do more things inlife and because of that, when
you turn into a coach, or whenyou turn into a coach mindset or
a therapist mindset, you tendto have a positive mindset,
which effectively means you tendto become a creator.
Guess what happens?
If you are a creator among manyconsumers, your content is seen
(08:07):
more, and so suddenly you thinkthe world is like this.
It's not true.
If you look at the people whoare followed most in the world
today, even they're not positivecreators, they're artists.
But that doesn't meaneverybody's an artist, right.
Everybody's not going out inthe world and saying, oh,
everybody is only buying fromKylie Jenner.
Now, that's not true.
(08:27):
She's just more famous and thattends to be that if you follow
her, you tend to follow more ofwhatever she says.
But even Kylie Jenner turns ahat sometimes and talks like a
coach because inherently sheneeds to have a positive mindset
to create anything successfulin life, right.
So thinking there are too manycoaches is actually a thing that
comes up in our mind because ofsocial contagion that we get
(08:49):
into and social container thatwe get into.
It's actually too few coachesin the world.
We are a population of, I think, 8 billion people in the world.
There are less than 200,000coaches in the world.
That doesn't even scratch thesurface of the number of coaches
that are required to changesociety overall, to be more
affirmative, right?
So if you really think aboutfrom a context of society,
(09:11):
context of what is required inthe world, we will probably not
be done until we have 100million coaches in the world and
we're not even close to that,so we're not even started that
journey.
We probably have a thousand andthat's also me pushing it.
We probably have 20,000 or 30,or maybe maybe a hundred
thousand, let's say globally.
That's all we are talking about.
(09:31):
That is very, very, very few.
That doesn't even make a dentin the universe.
That's, that's nothing.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
It makes so much sense?
Right, because growing up Iplayed sports and we had coaches
.
Right, but what made them acoach?
They decided to offer theirtime, effort and energy and
wisdom, and it doesn'tnecessarily mean that they were
better at playing the game thanwe were as elementary school
kids.
It means that they had aparticular knowledge and wisdom
in an area that they were ableto share and to guide and,
(09:59):
hopefully right, stand on theside and cheer and coach right
and uplift you on.
And I see that and I actuallyjust had a conversation with, so
my graduate school here inSouth Florida, nova Southeastern
University, one of the coursesthey've added subsequently
recently over the last couple ofyears I graduated in 2005,.
They do have a coaching classnow as a credit course in the
(10:22):
graduate level, doctoral levelcourse.
There is a reason why this ishappening.
There's a reason why thesetools are needed to be taught.
The cool thing is and one ofthe things that we you know, I
mentioned that I took a trainingwith Rich, with Rich Litvin,
right, everything I saw himdoing.
I'm like, oh, that's reallycool.
That's just, you know a lot ofit's solution focused, solution
oriented coaching, which cameout of the family therapy
(10:44):
systems training.
It was excited to me to seesomeone doing it so well and it
made me happy that thisinformation and knowledge is
getting out there and therefore,right, it was like, oh okay, so
this stuff can work for people,especially when you take away
the thing of like it's nottherapy, right the stigma of
(11:05):
that, which I think, agreeingwith you that we need more
people out there helping otherpeople.
So it's a really cool thing tosee, right?
The vantage point that I waslooking at is, like you know,
there is, there's dangers.
There are people who eventherapists and doctors who
shouldn't be doing what they'redoing and doctors who shouldn't
be doing what they're doing.
But I'm so glad to see and thisis why I was so excited to talk
(11:27):
to you is because the communitythat you're participating,
you've helped create, you'rehelping evolve, is making sure
that people are getting real,legitimate, amazing support
training to help other peopleget the support and training.
So talk to me a little bitabout that, right?
Because I feel like, from whatI've experienced over the last
many years, watching a lot ofcontent coming out of your
(11:48):
businesses and your communitieshas been incredible, and yet I
know that there are people outthere being the naysayers, but
tell me why you focused on theareas and the arenas, like the
(12:10):
answer you gave was just such awonderful.
We need more, we need morelight, we need more happiness.
Right, very Dharma, right yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, no, absolutely, and I think so.
I don't necessarily see peopleas naysayers.
I think there's a.
Usually we don't invest enoughtime in understanding what is
what, and also we take oneexperience as a catch-all
experience.
Let me expound that a littlebit more.
So to me, the therapeutic worldis the world that deals and
(12:43):
mostly focuses not completely.
Especially nowadays, I'm seeingmore and more therapists that
actually are also taking acoaching hat, for that matter.
More therapists are writingbooks that almost sound like
coaching to me as a coach, right, and, and, and what I've found
is the, if I go to a traditionaltherapist, their entire focus
stays on your past.
And because their entire focusstays on their past, they almost
(13:06):
don't consider that maybe it isnot doing a service to the
person that they're working with, because it's just keeping them
in their past hole to thinkthey need to let go of every
stone in their bag instead ofjust dropping the bag and moving
on Right.
To give a metaphorical example,sure, and I'm not saying
everybody is the same, it's not.
It's.
To me, therapy deals mostly inhelping you get rid of that bag,
(13:31):
like you have a baggage thatyou're carrying.
Let's get over it.
From my understanding oftherapy.
It is based on Freudianpsychology principles.
Right Is Freud the fundamental-.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
When you have that world of traditional old school
psychology right, you have thatone world right, the pathology,
the diagnosis.
The beautiful thing is just toreclarify is my training at Nova
, southeastern and FortLauderdale systems, postmodern
family therapy.
Cybernetics is all of leaninginto that solution oriented
solution, right, the thinking ofright, the, the, the meta of
(14:05):
right.
It's not the problem, it's yourbelief about the problem.
That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
So you and I are aligned in all of that.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's where therapy and coaching also intersect.
That the newer way of doingtherapy, which, again, like I'm
not saying.
That's why it's very importantto notice where somebody is
coming from and where they'regoing to really be able to
comment on the nuances of whatis this and what is that Right?
So coaching does nothing to dowith past, like I don't.
I don't ask a question aboutwhy you are the way you are and
(14:32):
all that.
I might do that to build arelationship with you so I can
understand you, but I ain'ttrying to help you lose your bag
, right?
My point is to say there is nobag and it comes from if I have
to correlate to the timeline, itcomes from Alfred Adler, who
was a psychologist at the sametime had his own research, his
(14:53):
theories and his understandingof the world was there is no
baggage, there is no past.
You don't have to worry aboutit.
The only thing that matters isnow.
So if you decide right now,everything's already different,
right?
So if he was today and I'm kindof probably butchering his
world and he might be turning inhis grave as I, as I butcher it
, but if he was here today, hewould say there is no trauma.
(15:13):
Trauma is a story that you toldyourself enough times and hence
you have trauma.
Drop the story, drop the traumaand go on to the future.
Now, I would never adviseanybody that, right, because I'm
not a therapist.
And the moment somebody saystrauma, I said talk to a
therapist, or here's one to talkto, right.
So I would never attach, Iwouldn't trigger it, I wouldn't
go into it, and that's not whatcoaches should do.
(15:35):
Right, and that's where theproblem rises is somewhere along
the line, because it is such.
It's a hypothetical science,like most sciences, right,
there's a lot of hypotheticalsthat are in there.
There's a lot of understandingsand different understandings of
things and how words are beingsaid and so on, so forth.
It's somewhere along the line.
People who were eitherinterested in therapy or were
(15:55):
therapists started, which wereright in the sense of they
started doing coaching, but alot of coaches thought that was
okay to take them into therapy.
You know what I mean.
So, while they were not trainedon any of the therapeutic
models and hadn't done theresearch like, say, you have
done, or training like you havedone, they just simply thought
it's easy for me, and I do seethat and I do call people out
when I see that is they dwell inthe past so much that they
(16:19):
re-trigger trauma for people andthat's what it makes us unsafe
as a coaching model and that'salso why we became so passionate
about training people.
Because it's literally likeright before our call I was
doing one of our cohort callsand I said if you're doing
trauma work, you must understandwe do not train you on this and
you should not do trauma unlessyou're certified by an
(16:40):
organization that teaches youhow to do trauma work.
Do you understand this Right?
Literally, on my calls on ourcertification, everywhere we
make sure people understand thatthey do not get to touch the
past of people because we don'ttrain them on it.
We simply say 95% of the world,or 90% of the world do not have
(17:01):
such deep trauma that they needto drop the entire bag.
They can work with the newermodels of therapy or coaching
models, which simply says thereis no trauma, there is no past.
This is a very crude and simpleway of saying it, but basically
saying that past does not matterbecause present is the only
time and we can work from hereand then become strategic.
It's about reorganizing yourmind.
(17:21):
It becomes about habits andbehaviors to change, which are
nothing which you don't needthat kind of deep training for,
because there are simple reframe, simple mindset, simple ways,
different ways of looking atthings.
Anybody can do it till the timethey've had some understanding
of language and someunderstanding of how human
beings work.
So what we do is we do animmersive work towards that
(17:43):
spectrum and we make it a pointthat we don't don't get them to
go into the past and traumaticevents of people.
Now, like you said, there arepeople who do that and there's
that is the challenge of thatwhole segment of the industry.
But that is also a thing andthe truth of anything that is
new and different there will beand it's not that people are
(18:04):
trying to be bad, but they willend up in a spectrum where it's
risky and dangerous.
They feel comfortable and sothey go into it.
That is how, also as humanity,we discover things, but it's
also the way we destroy things.
So that's where we have to bemindful and you're very right in
that point in time.
(18:28):
I do feel this phase ofcoaching, this growth of
coaching, this interest of evenbeing open to the word like
coach that is beyond sports isactually a net net positive for
humanity by not a small margin,but a great margin yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I agree with you right.
It's the.
I had one of my clients thismorning, you know, going through
some difficult things.
I wouldn't necessarily call itclinical.
It's a lot of the story.
It's a lot of the self-beliefs.
It's about where do you want togo right?
What were you buying into thatgot you stuck?
That you didn't realize got youstuck that thought you thought
was going to get you a betteroutcome?
And the questions that I alwayslook forward to asking in the
(19:00):
way I was trained very similarto what you're saying.
Right Is that is theperspective of how.
How did I phrase it Once youknew what you needed to do
differently?
How difficult was it actuallyfor you?
How much effort did youactually have to put into it to
change this momentum?
(19:21):
And my client responded it wasactually surprisingly, really
easy I'm like easier than theresistance to do it right.
In other words, doing it waseasier than the resistance to
not doing it.
And part of that came around allof that.
Where do you want to be?
Why did you want to get therein the first place?
And I love and I don't know ifI heard this from one of the
videos of one of your community,I don't know if this is
(19:43):
something from one of yourcolleagues, but when we ask
people what they want, it's alsoand I want you to talk a little
bit more about this is thatwhen people are focusing on
goals, people are coming intohey, I'm struggling with my
career or I'm struggling with mycoaching business.
Be better for them.
(20:05):
What would be the things thatthey didn't even realize might
come up as new challenges withthat.
But it's not just the I wantthis to happen, but it's making
sense of the meaning behind allof that.
So I was wondering if you canelaborate a little bit more on
that from your perspective,because I think that's something
that I've enhanced for my jobas a therapist from the coaching
world to ask my clients an evenbetter question.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah.
So it's very, very, very goodquestion and it is a very common
challenge in society at large.
What tends to happen, at leastin my experience of working with
clients, is most goals areinformed by society around us.
So if you talk to a person thathangs out with millionaires or
looks at millionaires on socialmedia and so forth, their goal
would be I want to make amillion dollars.
If you hang out with a personthat is making billions,
(20:48):
suddenly you want to be abillionaire.
Or you see a lot more socialbillionaires.
Now you want to be abillionaire, which is also where
you see societal languagechanges.
Right?
Suddenly, everybody wants tostart an AI company, because we
are talking a lot about AIcompanies.
Right, everybody wanted to doBitcoin when it was all about
cryptocurrency.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Which would also make sense about people wanting to
coach more because they'reseeing it again on it's in the
zeitgeist.
It's in the zeitgeist of ourculture.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yeah, it's much needed than Bitcoin.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I'm still not getting rid of my Bitcoin or a money
goal direction.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
It's a lot more important in the zeitgeist
because of how the society isevolving and we need more
trained individuals, but anyways.
But yes, it is important andthat's why the language and the
circle that you hang out inmatters, because your goals
usually will align to thosepeople, right, right, or the
information that you're getting,because it's harder for us to
go inside than to take thingsfrom outside.
(21:44):
Inside than to take things fromoutside.
It's much easier for me togather what Jason's doing and go
oh, jason's a therapist whoalso uses coaching methodology,
or he has trained in allmodalities and so I should do
that.
Right, it's much easier for meto relate to Jason's experience
than to go.
What do I want?
Right, and the less we ask thequestion of what do I want, the
(22:08):
more chaotic our life is goingto be.
Right, because the environmentaround you will keep changing.
It always changes, right.
It will change with thepolitical party that comes in
power, the, the new war thatmight start.
It will change by people thatyou're surrounding yourself.
A change in work quality,change in your work environment,
(22:29):
your situation, yoursurroundings are going to change
all the time and if they don't,your life will become mundane,
right?
So you are at a dance always tosay, oh, do I change always and
be in chaos, or do I staymundane and get bored out of my
mind in my life, right?
And there is a third part thatwe don't explore as much of, and
the third part is to askourselves what do I really want?
(22:52):
Because then you startinfluencing the society around
you, so instead of beinginfluenced, you actually become
an influencer of the worldaround you, and that allows you
to be able to create a yourtruth whatever that truth is,
and also inform people aroundyou.
To ask that deeper question ofasking, hey, what's your truth?
Like?
Ask yourself that question thatI ask myself, right?
(23:15):
So because of that, if we couldask ourselves as a society, if
you could move towards thatdialogue and move towards the
idea that if I create long-termclarity in my life, create
long-term clarity in my life, Iwill have less of short-term
chaos, then I can change my life, I can change society, I can
live a more informed, drivenlife and you will find that
(23:36):
short-term chaoses will go away.
Short-term inflection based onwhat's happening around you goes
away because you know whereyou're going.
You have a long-term claritytowards the direction of travel
that you're having.
And then, yes, goals will vary.
Things will happen.
Things will not happen, butyou'll learn how to deal with it
, because your vision, yourpurpose, your direction is still
very informed by a 10 or a 20or a 30-year goal that you're
(23:57):
walking towards.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
I'm reflecting on a conversation I had with a client
the other day who's beenworking with a strategic
financial planner and they'regetting close to that retirement
period and the conversations,from my understanding, seem to
be led about what the financialplanner has decided, or at least
maybe unconsciously coercedthem into believing, what
(24:24):
they'll be okay at on the pathand what they need to do in
order to get this number thatwill allow them to move into a
retirement phase and pick up andmove and have a lifestyle
that's accommodating to whatthey're dreaming.
And I'm hearing this and I'vebeen reflecting this back with
them as well, and I'm hearingeven more so from what you're
saying of.
I want to go back to them nowand ask them where did that
(24:48):
particular number or numberscome from?
Because I know that we've hadconversations around.
What's the life going to looklike for them and how can you
have the life you want withoutthe anxiety around, even if you
do have all of that money?
That seems to be the numberthat even your financial planner
says will allow you.
It's not well.
(25:08):
Why is there so anxiety?
Well, there's an old story andthere's some Trump right.
Whatever it is that you want towrite family of origin stuff
and and stuff.
That way I can work out with myintegrative mind body
modalities.
That's more somatic, but whopick?
Who pick those numbers andwhat's the meaning and belief
behind those numbers?
And I think that just reallydoes reinforce exactly what
(25:28):
you're sharing.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, and there's an interesting just because you
talked about retirement, andthis is a study I read is
people's health starts todeteriorate after they retire.
They seem to shorten theirlifespan it's not conclusive,
but it seems like trendingtowards it, and which is why
often it's advised to dosomething, even once you're
(25:52):
retired, and a lot of peopledon't do that.
A lot of people just retire andthey retire for good, and
within the first three or fiveyears I think one of those
numbers they would see a hugedecline in their wellbeing
because they don't know what todo with their life anymore,
right?
So a curious thought also whileyou're on this discovery, and
definitely that financialplanner is not a coach, clearly
(26:14):
they would have asked a betterquestion of saying why.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It might be a great financial planner, right, but
the psychology of the money isnot there, right?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
See, I tell you like everybody needs to learn.
Coaching Like this isabsolutely a global requirement.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Well before you jump to the next thing what I want to
share with you in theretirement thing is one of them,
one of the partners in thatrelationship I'm like you should
absolutely become a coach.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Yeah, which is really right.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So so because I'm like, here's all the wisdom that
you have and now you can createsomething with this.
No one is doing what.
And we came up with this youknow what could you do, type of
thing, and and we navigated thatand it was like, oh my God,
that sounds amazing.
Okay, well, I don't want itcoming from me.
I want you to marinate on thatand say, jason, that sounds
really cool.
I love the idea you gave me,but it's not authentic for me.
Right, and and brought andbringing that more out of out of
(26:59):
their awareness.
But one of the things I'm likeand they've been looking into
and researching becoming a coach, cause I'm like this would be
an amazing transition from allthe things you've acquired and
learned and now you can stillmake right.
One, it will get rid of thefear of any money that you're
spending to.
You can continue helping people.
And three, you know so muchthat you'd be ripping off the
world if you don't share it.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, so true, so true, and thank God they have
you and and and.
A transitionary comment, alsofor individuals, is that,
hypothetically, when somebodyplans a retirement age or
retirement plan, is they assumea date or a year that they will
die?
Right, that's any financialplanner will go.
(27:40):
Okay, how long do you expect tolive?
Because they have to plan,especially if they're planning
for retirement, right, right,and usually that number ends up
being 75.
Or I think the average forAmerica is 82.
I could be wrong again but,that's the latest study.
Last I read was 82 or 85.
One of those two numbers,somewhere in the 80s, Used to be
76 before, and that might bethe number that the person's
(28:00):
operating from.
But if you look at the latestscience and if they do follow
science and they do take care ofthemselves, if they do, you
know, move their bodies and notjust stay sedentary, all of the
stuff that they do.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Functional medicine and mindfulness, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, if they do biohack, like basically take
care of themselves really andnot just go all right, I've
retired, I'm not going to donothing which will lead to
deterioration of health and theywill definitely pass by the
average age or something aroundthat.
But if they do take care oftheir health, it's more likely
that they would live for another10, 15 years.
Wow, right, so instead of 85,they're likely to touch a
(28:38):
hundred.
Right, and a hundred does notfeel that much harder anymore
for society where we are at,especially that is somebody
who's in their fifties orsixties right, they are likely
to touch a hundred.
People in twenties are likelyto live 120.
If science keeps progressing theway, it is because we just have
figured out how to have peoplelive longer and what are the
things that we need, and so on,so forth, while staying vital,
not like being a vegetable, butbeing vital and moving and all
that fun stuff.
(28:58):
Yeah, with that and with thatunderstanding, it reframes the
setting of the person to askreally themselves the question
of if I was to live 15 yearsmore and let's say these people
are retiring at 70,hypothetically I don't know
their retirement age let's say65, 70, that gives them 30 more
years to live.
30 more years is about almost50% of their life, of what
(29:21):
they've lived, right?
Because if they're 70, 35 yearsis 55, 50% of the life.
30 years is almost 50%, orroughly 45% or 43%, something
like that.
That's 40% more life left.
Now you don't ask forretirement because 40% of more
life.
What are you going to do withyour retirement?
(29:41):
In a week, you realize you don'tneed retirement most of the
time.
Or in a month, you're like Icannot.
I cannot just sit at home andgarden after a point.
Right, I need stimulation, Ineed something.
And that's one thing that wesometimes forget about humanity
or being human is we arecreators by default.
We cannot sit ideal behind apoint.
We think we would love it, wethink we would, and some people
(30:04):
might.
There might be some odds andends, some odd people that go
yeah, I can really sit on thebeach for a hundred days.
Right, they must be traumatizedin some ways why they would be
doing that.
But most people cannot do that.
Most people, after seven to 10days, are sick and tired of
their holiday.
Yeah, right, they need to go toa different place, they need to
(30:25):
do something.
It doesn't mean that they won'tholiday still, they'll just do
all.
Right, let's move the country,let's move the city.
Let's, let's do something else.
Let's, let's not sit here.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Oh, I did a week long cruise and like day five, I'm
like I'm done, Like this is like, this is what happens.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
It's just being human .
You cannot not create.
You get sick and tired of itand because of that, even
clients like yours, the clientsthat you're talking about, must
ask the question what is theexpected age that they will die,
and do they really think theywill die at that age?
Because most people have a verywrong number in their head,
because it's informed by eitherhow long their parents lived or
(30:57):
the oldest person they knowright.
So, yeah, that person that wasin my family.
They lived to 85, I'll probablylive to 85.
Probably not because the personthat lived to 85 was following
an old regimen.
They didn't have the doctors,they didn't have the medicine,
they didn't have the vitality,they didn't move like this.
They didn't know how to livelonger while staying vital right
.
So they had all these differentcharacteristics that you are
(31:19):
not considering that are stillapplicable to you, which
effectively means you'llprobably live longer.
So why not live healthier?
Why not live in the creativespace?
Why retire?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yeah, and I'm thinking about all the studies
in epigenetics and Dr BruceLipton and all those worlds and
how that's– Dr Bruce Lipton andall those worlds and how that's
a whole conversation I had alsothis morning was the old way of
doing things, including therapy,and that's what I loved about
my training.
I remember in about 2000, Iwent to a therapist.
(31:52):
I grew up going to that oldpsychological, the Freudian play
therapy, playing games, andthat's what I thought therapy
was.
And then I went to someone whoasked me questions that no one
has ever asked me before, in away that no one's asked them.
And I remember when I thoughtabout and I was doing informal
education and programming andworking on college campuses and
(32:12):
camps and summer programs andstuff like that.
And I remember when I'm likemost of my job every day, even
though I'm supposed to be incharge of programming, is really
building, creatingrelationships and being there
for the students in a way as ifI'm a therapist.
When they have stuff going onin their life they're coming to
me to talk to.
Right, I'm that youth mentor,slash, you know, advisor.
(32:33):
And that was when I first likemaybe I should be going to
graduate school to become atherapist and I remember, as I
was looking, I knew social workand I knew psychology and I knew
mental health counseling andI'm like, okay, so what was that
person trained in?
And they were a marriage andfamily therapist, which I delve
more into and then saw thedifference between we started
(32:54):
talking about this conversationof old school how does it make
you feel let's look for apathology and diagnosis and
let's clean all that up versusthe story when do you want to go
?
What would you like?
Let's find all the tools thatyou didn't even realize are
there, that you know, are therethat you're not leveraging, as
well as then going further intodelving into the epigenetics,
going into biology, biochemistry, stuff that I didn't even learn
(33:17):
in that, that I didn't evenlearn in that.
This is where I see the benefitthat the different worlds of
coaching is kicking therapiststo do better.
Yeah, and I'm very appreciativeof that in that regards,
because then I can go back whenyou're talking about before.
(33:37):
Why do you want to do thisright?
Is it because of something elseout there or not Realizing how
much of as a therapist, how muchI'm not doing within my
traditional therapy community,versus what I'm doing and
learning and who I'm hanging outwith outside of that world,
because I wasn't getting what Ineeded to become a best
(33:59):
therapist within the therapyworld, the world of all the
mind-body stuff, neuro-emotionaltechnique, which I am certified
in all.
Forget even hypnosis.
Hypnosis was graduate schoolstuff.
Right, that was great, it wasamazing.
And then I am like, ah, there'smore, there's more.
There's my body, there's afunctional medicine, functional
nutrition, there's this stuffthat you're doing.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, and, and I and I know that it is so true and it
is so important what you aredoing, because it's also pushing
your colleagues to think alittle bit more broader than the
, than the lane they might havebeen set into, and I know that
that lane is still most of theindustry, unfortunately.
(34:40):
And that's why it's important,for what you are doing is
because the other day I waswatching this comedian.
I don't know if you know aboutit, it's just you could probably
Google it later.
It's just funny the way he saysit.
He's cracking a joke about histherapist.
His name is Hasan Minhaj.
Oh yeah, of course, indian,american comedian yeah and he
was, I think on one of the.
Jimmy's show and he was, I think, on one of those one of the one
(35:00):
of the Jimmy's show and and hetalks about, and one line that I
was like I was laughing my assoff, uh was that he says you do
realize, therapists, that thepoint of therapy is to get out
of it.
It is just funny way to saythat how a lot of therapists
still do operate in in majoritypart of the world is they just
keep the client forever, andthat's not the point.
(35:23):
That's that's.
That's absolutely counter tothe point.
The point is a person doingwork with you may stay with you,
but for very different reasons,right Still saying, oh, I'm
dealing with the same issue Ihad 20 years ago.
Now we're talking aboutdifferent things, a different
problem we're solving, yeah, andthat that makes sense because
human beings will always evolveand so we always need support of
(35:43):
a coach and a therapist.
A hundred percent.
The therapist needs to take anapproach like you're taking, and
I love that you're alsoincluding functional medicine,
which which, what, what it tellsme is that you're bringing in
the body, which is so importantto take care of a person, is to
clean up their nutrition, theirdiet, their, what they're doing
(36:04):
with their body, because that'sthe vessel that holds the brain,
and if you don't do somethingwith this, this is harder.
It becomes easier because yougo to the gym and lift some
weights and you do a little bitof cardio or eat a little bit
better.
Your mind is so much more inpartnership with you because
you've taken care of the vesselthat holds it.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Yeah, yeah, I'm just reflecting on my own journey.
My grandmother's brother bothof her brothers were old school
psychiatrists, md psychiatristsand exactly like that where they
had their clients forever andever and ever and ever and ever.
And I remember when I startedadvertising, one of the things
(36:45):
that I put on there is my job isto get you to fire me as soon
as possible.
And how many clients over theyears who said, when I was
looking through profiles, what,besides the other things in your
training and specialization?
But that really stood out to meand I'm like, well, number one,
like it doesn't mean fire meand like get me out of your life
.
It means like let's solve thisproblem that you already
(37:07):
probably know how to solve, butlet's just get you out of the
way of that too.
We'll handle that, and thenwhen you need something in the
future, you'll come back whenyou need it, but it doesn't mean
you need to see me every weekfor the rest of your life.
Right, that whole dependence onold school mindset was
something, thankfully, that Inever was born in.
But it's so funny to see wheremy family came from on that side
and where I am on the otherside, because I like joking that
(37:29):
doing psychedelic and plantmedicine for healing and for
personal growth.
So, just to see within, youknow two generations of of that
and what's going on, and maybethat's and maybe that's the
(37:50):
conversation that therapists andcoaches need to have more
together and share with theworld.
Together is what happens whenwe bring the best of the both
worlds together.
Instead of, like you know, thething that we always talk about
is coaches.
Talk about well, coaches.
Only, you know, coaches focuson the present and the future
and therapists only focus on thepast.
And you have people like me.
You're like, well, that's nottrue, that's not our, that's not
(38:11):
our training whatsoever, right.
And then you have therapistsare like, nope, coaches are
doing trauma and they're doingall these things that are right.
And and these are theconversations and one of the
many reasons why I was soexcited to have you on here as a
leader in your community, as arepresentative and a leader of
your community who's trainingother people of what are the
conversations that?
Maybe, maybe this is what doyou think are some of the
(38:32):
conversations that the best ofmy field and the best of your
field need to sit down and havea platform together to have to
move the entire personaldevelopment healing industry
forward exponentially fasterthan waiting for the.
You know you guys are doingthis a little bit better, we're
doing that a little bit better,you for sure doing marketing way
(38:54):
better than therapists are.
But we have things where wecan't do.
You know we can't have peoplewrite us reviews and we can't
have people disclosing rightCause of all those ethical
things, right?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
I think that there's some.
What do you think?
Some of the reason why I'm lostfor words is because I feel the
challenge would not be thepeople in the industry.
The problem will be theregulation around industries.
So and the reason is prettystraightforward I think a lot of
therapists use what we say ascoaching methodologies.
Again, I'm not saying that wedeveloped it, because we also
(39:39):
are informed by studies and soforth.
It's not like we like.
There was one coach who satdown and said this is the
methodology for the matter.
You get no results if you usethe traditional coaching
methodology.
It's kind of like a traditionaltherapy methodology.
It doesn't work.
It won't get you anywhere.
It will get you a contract witha company who, again, the HR
(40:01):
team just doesn't know better iswhy you are hired.
It's not because you actuallycan drive any results for the
company whatsoever, but so it'sa.
I think the people in both theindustries are already trying to
merge what they can.
For example, a lot of ourfriends who are not traditional
therapists, because they alsokind of did the therapy route,
(40:23):
got really successful, wrotebooks, became authors.
So now they don't do therapy inthe sense of sitting down and
really do therapy, but theybuilt models on top of it that
help people, usuallyhypnotherapy models, because
they are easier to train on.
And they built those like.
Paul McKenna is one of them.
He's very respected therapist,hypnotherapist, probably the
(40:43):
most respected in the UK and hesaid hey, listen, I'm going to
take this model and buildhypnotherapy that a coach can
learn and then they look at thelocal law and see if they can do
it or not.
But they can at least use someof the language techniques that
they learn in their day to daycoaching because it's not
intrusive.
The thinking of it versus thepractice of it, right, yeah,
yeah, yeah, so it's more like,but it's still in that scenario.
(41:04):
What happens is we have to go,okay, but you have to check the
local law because in somecountries hypnotherapy is
illegal.
In some countries they don'tcare Right, they're like
hypnotherapy is just ameditative exercise, they don't
actually think person, so it'scompletely legal for you to
practice.
Or in Florida.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
The language is hypno .
You can't call yourself legallya hypnotherapist unless you're
a licensed medical practitioner.
You can say I do hypnosis.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
And there is someone out there and it's funny the
state yeah, right, but you can'tuse the word therapy.
Therapy is a protected titleRight so you can say I do
hypnosis, or hypnosis Right.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, it's just terminology for a lot of things,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Yeah.
So that's kind of how it kindof works in the world, and I
think that's where therapy isalready.
Like you said, and like I'mreading the newer books by
hypnotherapists nothypnotherapists, sorry,
therapists because I readeverything that I feel is
interesting and I would consumeit at at a great pace and a
great rate and I feel there's somany reflections of what we
(42:05):
advocate for, even if nobodyreally owns it per se, I think.
But we advocate for, hey, it'sokay to have a past, you can
move into the future.
That's the advocacy of coachingand I think more and more
therapists are leaning into itat least the new books are all
leaning into it, which I'mreally happy to see.
Like that's great.
I mean, it makes a lot of ourwork actually easier because we
(42:28):
don't have to do it andtherapists can do it and we're
fine with that.
We don't care for what's yourtitle.
That's not the reason why westarted what we started.
We always fundamentally believethat if we were able to change
a billion people, we can changethe world.
But to change a billion people,to try and do it as a company,
(42:49):
is incredibly difficult becauseyou have to sell the idea of
personal growth.
You have to.
You know you have to be in aframe.
It's not an e-commerce, it'smore a mindset.
It's harder to sell all of thatstuff, but if I can train a
million coaches, 10 millioncoaches, over the course of my
lifetime, I have the ability toimpact a billion lives.
And if I impact a billion lives, I do think that we'll need
(43:13):
some sense of that capacity, notonly because, if see, the world
is getting easier to live inbut more complicated at the same
time.
Right, we have a lot moreresources, we know how to
harness a lot more resources, weare able to build great
technologies and great citiesand great worlds around the
globe, but we still fall down tothe level of war.
We still will be at a loss ofjob when AI takes over some of
(43:36):
those jobs.
Right, all of that requires forus to be having that mental
fortitude.
Otherwise, the poor will getpoorer and rich will get richer,
and that's not a great societyto be in, because there is such
a disparity that this class thatsay poor getting poorer, will
find it really difficult to getto a place where they can be
abundant too, and withoutabundance and without money
(43:58):
going around, it is very hard tolive a good life, even if you
have all the resources in theworld, right?
So how do we play our part inthat society as therapists, as
coaches, is to help people buildthat mental fortitude to be
able to help themselves, to beable to pass on the education,
the training, the tools, thetechniques so we as individuals
(44:21):
can do better in a situationthat otherwise feel impossible.
Because that's what happensright when we are in the
shitstorm, we feel this is animpossible state.
I need to survive, I cannotthrive.
That's the mindset that weoperate in and other individuals
that operate and find it hardto thrive.
Guess how we can change thatmindset?
By actually actively coachingthem, working with them, keeping
(44:42):
their presence to today,helping them understand the
concept of time and the conceptof building things, all of those
things that are important thatonly as of now is available to a
small community of people thatcan either afford a therapist,
afford a coach or affordpersonal growth programs and
seminars, which is maybe 10, 20%of the world, right, personal
growth programs and seminars,which is maybe 10, 20% of the
(45:05):
world, and that also, it's noteven that, for that matter.
Probably that even is not maybea higher number that I'm talking
about, because it is not cheapto go to a therapist, it is not
cheap to work with a coach.
Personal growth programs havebecome more affordable.
Thank goodness for that.
But what we are really tryingto do from our point is to make
this understanding, thiseducation, this training, these
tools available at the lowestcost possible.
Right, because we, asMindvalley, have the benefit
(45:29):
that we got into this placeearly enough that we have volume
now, right?
So that's the thing, that'sreally the whole idea here that
we yeah, that if we can elevateall of us, we can change
humanity for good.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
And I think that's a beautiful thing.
And wrapping it up with this, isthat one of the things that I
have really appreciated over thelast couple of years of knowing
a little bit, consuming a lot,but knowing a little bit about
the community as a whole butjust consuming a ton of you know
what you're putting out there.
So much of it's right, theYouTube channel alone, or right
(46:05):
Following you on your socialmedia.
I mean, that's, I think, wherethe leverage of why I'm doing
this, like I only, like I saidat the introduction, I can only
see 30 to 40 people, you know,slash couples, families,
whatever but I can only have thebandwidth for about 30
something sessions a week andthis platform helps me one get
in front of people who are doingreally powerful and beautiful
(46:26):
things.
Trickle down that informationwhich I'm taking a lot of from
these conversations back to myclients, but also people are not
yet my clients or could beworking with one of the guests,
because I can't accomplish itall.
I can't do it all.
I just want to be a platformwhere people can have easy
access.
Yes, it's a marketing push,sure, right, you get to see what
it's like to work with mewithout working with me which I
think is wonderful about all thevideos that are put out.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Yeah, but it's value first.
So I think it's value first.
Like.
It's like hey, let's worktogether, everybody's winning.
I think this whole mindset ofbecause we are information
provider I'm not saying you haveit, I think some people have it
is that the mindset is oh, I'mproviding information, you know,
(47:09):
is it a money grab?
It's not.
You're providing value.
Somebody gets something andmost of the time their life gets
better, not just better, waybetter, like it's not a marginal
increase.
A person can 10X, 20xthemselves if they work with the
right person over the course ofa year and I can say that
because I've seen it again andagain again 10 and 20X in their
(47:32):
health, in their wellbeing,things that they've struggled
and suffered for their entirelife.
If somebody that's listening tothis podcast is going, you know
it's available to them and notto me.
I invite you to go talk tojason or talk to someone that
you trust and are willing toplay with.
But play for a year, let godeep, go hard, find yourself and
you'll see anything that youbelieve that is not available to
(47:53):
you is actually available toyou.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
Yeah I couldn't agree with you more could not agree
with you more, and that's that'swhy i's why I love the language
of inviting.
That is one of the things,right.
It's one that's also veryhypnosis language, hypnosis
logic, using the words and thephrasing of hypnosis, but that's
one of the things that I loveabout members of your community
that I've watched and witnessedusing and empowering their
(48:16):
clients and empowering theirclients.
Come play with me, let's play agame.
Humor me, right, which is a lotof what I was trained in, but
it's awesome to see where thisrelationship is shared together
versus.
I'm going to tell you what todo, which is what we're all
trying to get rid of.
So I just want to finish up with, well you know, with one, first
thanking you and two, all thedifferent ways that people can
(48:40):
get in touch with you firstthanking you.
And to, um, all the differentways that people can get in
touch with you.
Learn more about the differentprogramming, uh, that you're
offering and the things thatyou're partnered with.
And the books where, whereshould they go?
Where, where should someonestart?
Cause there's a billion ways tofind you, but where should
someone start?
Speaker 2 (48:52):
So, so great way to start is go to Instagram.
Look for real coach.
That's where I post my latestuh videos every day and it's
only like 30, 60 seconds andit'll give you an insight.
It's a good place to start.
If you're looking to read abook, go ahead and I'll send you
over a link.
We allow free download of mylatest book called Live Big.
(49:12):
I don't remember the link onthe top of my mind, but we'll
send it over to you, jason, ifmy team has already not sent it
over to you and has already notsent it over to you, and we can
link it up.
If you want to take a deep dive, I do my certifications in
partnership with Mindvalley, sogo to mindvalleycom slash certs
(49:32):
C-E-R-T-S and you will find allthe different certifications we
provide.
I do for life and business inpartnership with other authors
that I bring on as guest faculty.
So those are some things to do.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Beautiful, and I do want to push your podcast that
you have as well, so let's sharethat name as well.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Yes, so we might rename them by the time this
podcast comes out, but for nowit's called Master Coaching with
Ajit.
We are thinking about renamingit and relaunching it in about
six weeks from now, so it mightbe different by the time this
comes out.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
But if you go on and you subscribe now, whatever it
transfers over over to whoever'sout there.
Just go go find it today whileyou're listening to it.
Don't if you're driving, don'tdo it right now, but go
subscribe to it so if it changes, you'll know that it's.
It's there and you don't haveto research.
You know any more of it.
And again, I really want tothank you.
I'm really I'm appreciative ofone, the.
It's the beginning of 2024.
This episode probably won'tcome out for a little bit, but
(50:28):
right now, like you said,there's a lot of turmoil in the
world.
It is getting easier on somelevels, but there's a lot more
chaos, and I'm a big fan ofpeople who are helping bring
simplicity on the far side ofcomplexity into the world, and I
really do want to thank you forcontributing and enhancing the
world through your mission.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Thank you, jason.
Thank you for having me.
It's great talking to you, mypleasure.
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