July 11, 2024 • 22 mins
In this episode, Dr. Ndidiamaka Obadan talks with Dr. Schafer Stedron about her unique transition from music to neurology. They discuss personal and professional challenges, including a traumatic birth experience and navigating credentialing and maternity leave policies. Dr. Stedron shares insights on physician empowerment, the potential benefits of life coaching, and her creative venture, Little House of Dreams Entertainment.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Gord.
Hello, everyone.
I am here with our amazing guest today.
I'm gonna let doctor Schafer introduce herself.
Hi, everyone.
I'm doctor Schafer.
I'm a neurologist.
I'm a physician mom, life coach, and I'm also apublisher and author.
(00:21):
And I'm really, really passionate about helpingclients and my listeners reclaim their stories
and build a beautiful future.
Thank you so much for joining us today.
This is amazing.
It's so good to have you here.
So, usually, I ask my guests, tell us So howdid you how did you get into what you do?
Like, what's your story?
(00:44):
You know, I think, like, most people's stories.
They're much more interesting than we couldever know, and they are full of pivots and
twists and turns.
Right?
That's why we like a really good book with allthose.
And my story is no different.
I actually started out my professional lifefirst when I was fourteen, I was actually a
professional musician.
I was writing producing, singing, dancing,playing instruments, all of those things.
(01:09):
And then as a young person, I I got into NYU.
I was planning on going into the music businessas a business person at that point in time.
I was accepted to the school of music business.
And then as a very young person, I met someonewithin a few weeks got engaged, got married,
really too young, and that person really wasn'tcomfortable with music as an industry having a
(01:34):
young family.
And so that was really the first time that Iwent and I took my dreams that I worked really,
really hard for and I had to do, like, a reallyhard pivot, or I wouldn't say I had to.
I made the decision to allow that redirectionof my life.
I don't have any, I don't feel guilt about thator or anger or resentment for that because that
(01:58):
then led me to what am I gonna do?
I moved back from New York City to the Midwestwhere I'd grown up.
And at that point, it was, okay.
What am I gonna do?
I started studying psychology at IUBloomington, Indiana University.
And Nice.
Thinking, what am I gonna do with my life?
And then I thought, oh, I'll go into medicine.
Right?
Can't be can't be that hard.
(02:20):
Right?
Which is crazy that that was my my perceptionat the time.
I applied to one medical school in ViennaUniversity, and I I got in.
Went into that thinking that I would dopsychiatry because of my background working as
a research assistant and getting my degree inpsych --ology.
(02:41):
Then was thinking dermatology, did all thethings I needed to do to get into a dermatology
residency.
We know it's very, very competitive.
Right?
So you're in your AAOA.
You've got all these research, papers andthings that you're doing to meet that goal.
But then in my 3rd year of medical school, Iactually fell in love on my neurology rotation
(03:04):
with the patients and the disease processes, mymentors, the attendings, and I was just sunk
dermatology no more.
I had to be a a neurologist.
So I pursued that.
I finished a wonderful internship and then didmy neurology residency, and I dispel in love
(03:28):
with being a physician, being a neurologist.
I then went on that, you know, fun andharrowing adventure of starting a practice.
I moved to a new city and state, moved far awayfrom my support system and went to a hospital
that at that point hadn't had a hiredneurologist.
Right?
(03:48):
So here I was, fresh out of residency.
Not any business training, right, because mostprograms or many at that point didn't provide
that.
So here I am, and they're asking you, okay.
What needles do you want?
What equipment do we need to buy?
You know, how do we set up our EEG program andall of these things?
And it was just this huge incredible endeavor,and it was so exciting and so all encompassing.
(04:14):
Once the dust settled on that, and I started tofeel, you know, as you're becoming that
attending physician and really come into yourown and the nerves are going away and you're
getting into a good groove.
My personal life, the issues there, started toreally show themselves in a way that when I was
(04:35):
doing all that arduous training had been a bithidden or I could avoid that now that I was
really coming into my own, and I was no longerjust chasing that baton of the next thing in my
training became really painfully clear.
And, unfortunately, because in that dynamic,the the goal of the family system was to have
(05:00):
me at home more and at work less to meet thoseneeds of the home and the needs of the partner
I was working full time, and then I was workingpart time, and I was working outside of my
profession for this other person towards theirgoals.
And I was investing less and less of time intomy goals.
(05:21):
Then, unfortunately, I did have a verytraumatic birth experience with my youngest
child.
I almost fled to death.
There was a laceration of my uterine arteries.
Oh my god.
Oh my goodness.
That is So, I mean, you know, I don't wannainterrupt your story, but, you know, you went
from being a musician to going into psychologyand and, you know, going into neurology, which,
(05:46):
oh, by the way, is a very difficult field inmedicine.
This is the study of the brain.
This is a tremendously smart lady inintelligent.
And now all of a sudden, you're having to dowhat?
Now stop working as much.
And because you're now you're almost about todie because they had met your uterine artery.
(06:09):
Yeah.
It was very traumatic, and I think, you know,it was another thing that took me that
distracted me away from my path.
You know, it was something I had to recoverfrom, and I had to take that unexpected leave
from work, from my patients that I did notanticipate.
I anticipated coming back.
So then now I'm at home.
(06:33):
And I'm serving the needs of the home now in amore all encompassing way, and that's coming
becoming the status quo.
Right?
And I'm working more and more for this othergoals and less and less towards my own goals.
And then COVID hits, And then it's well.
We need to protect this other, this otherbusiness, this other course of income.
(06:57):
We don't want you to be leaving the home andpotentially bringing things home.
We don't want to disrupt the children's lives.
You know, let's homeschool them and all ofthat, which, you know, I am so grateful for the
time I had homeschooling my children, but therewere consequences to my professional career
that occurred because of that time.
And and I'm okay with that, but those were therealities of that situation.
(07:23):
So fast forward as things are starting tonormalize a little bit in the year plus after
we learned about what COVID 19 was, had thelockdowns as we're all kind of finding our way
in this brave new world.
I'm more and more vocally trying to leave thehome, trying to go back to clinical practice,
(07:46):
and I am being met with a lot of shame andblame about why would I do that, that it would
be selfish.
It would be against the goals of your family.
I know.
Really?
Yeah.
Enough money.
So why would I put the family in jeopardy?
Because I'd make so little money anyways, to,for example, go work locums or or go work in
(08:07):
someone else's clinic.
And it got to the point where we know asphysicians, but a lot of people don't
understand if you're outside of medicine for 1or 2 years, depending upon whatever institution
you're trying to work with, You have to retrainbefore they'll hire you because you can't get
what they called credential.
(08:28):
The insurers won't pay you for your services.
So you're not really worth a lot to them.
Yes.
Exactly.
You know what the lots of the system.
Exactly.
Explain the gap in your resume?
Why do you have more than 30 days gap in yourresume?
What is the relevance of that question?
It I mean, it's it's so questionable.
(08:50):
And I think, you know, we could spend a lot oftime talking about it, because We both know so
many people that have really reasonable reasonswhy they have gaps for days, months, years.
And their resumes that do not detract from whatthey could bring to the medical profession.
(09:12):
So we we could do that But I think a reallysimple way for listeners to just question the
dynamic that we have here in the states in theUS where we're having this conversation.
Think about Europe.
In Europe, it's not unusual at all.
It is very acceptable and expected for aprofessional to take 3 years off.
After they have a child, right, or more if thatchild maybe has special needs, right, because
(09:39):
you're not just a physician.
You're a human.
And and they understand you work for yourfamily.
Right?
You don't work and then you kind of have afamily, and it's this extraneous thing.
So they say that again.
Yeah.
So they understand.
Positions are humans.
They're not just data.
They're not just inanimate objects.
They're not robots.
They are humans.
(10:00):
Exactly.
Exactly.
So other countries, I think, do a better job ofunderstanding after you give birth You know, we
know it takes years for your body to recover tonutritionally get to the place where it would
be, for example, advisable to have anotherchild.
It takes years for you to really regain thestrength you had before and also just have
(10:23):
things settle out in your home life.
And that's just when everything is, quote,unquote, normal.
When everything is going the way you expect it,not when you've almost died on the operating
table from, you know, an error and a c section,not when your child has challenges that were
unexpected, that you really need to pour yourenergy into to help them get the best lead on
(10:44):
life that they can.
So when we take a step back and we say, okay.
It's totally acceptable in Europe.
And by the way, let's look at their statisticsfor how well their patients do for their
outcomes.
So if it's totally okay for, let's talk aboutfemale physicians who take time off after, you
know, they take a a decent maternity leave.
(11:05):
It's okay for them to return and studies showthat they do a great job when they return after
3 years, 4 years.
Yeah.
I didn't know it was 3 years.
I know about Canada, you can take up to 1 yearwith 3 years.
With full pay.
You know?
You can go, yeah, or a long time.
I'm not sure if it's a whole year.
I think it's like 9 months with pay and thenyou can extend it for additional 3 months with,
(11:28):
50% pay or something like that, but 3 yearswith pay with or without pay in euro.
Europe.
And Europe, it's gonna be different on thedifferent regions, but, I mean, there is pay.
It's probably not gonna be what you may
And and what do we have here in the US?
Well, how much paid leave do we have?
I don't think we have any do we have any pay 6weeks?
(11:51):
Is it 6 weeks?
Okay.
So not only do we as physicians usually nothave paid leave?
If our contract says we have, let's say it'sgenerous and it's 3 or 4 of paid leave.
The reality for most people, if they're workingin a a system that operates this way, is that
they're going to owe money to their institutionbecause if they're on a salary, they're eating
(12:17):
what they kill.
So, yes, they can take that time off.
But if they're being paid and their numbersdon't add up at the end of that quarter, at the
end of that year, they're going to receive abalance issue.
Right?
You're in the red, and you may have to repayyour employer for the amount they paid you that
(12:38):
you didn't make up in seeing patients,
which is crazy.
Which is crazy.
Which is what what do we do about Something hasto be done about this.
I think this is the first step talking aboutit, increasing the awareness and letting people
know that, we in the United States weresupposed to be the 1st Right.
(12:58):
In everything.
I'm supposed to have it all.
And, we're not doing so well in this particularmetric.
So, hey, leaders, we need to do something aboutit to improve this for the women and the men,
maybe.
Yeah.
So you know about it.
Right?
When they are mistreated?
When there's inequality, we are all negativelyaffected.
(13:20):
That's correct.
Medicare.
So, you know, when I talked in earlier and you,what what are some of the solutions to this?
Like, you ask physicians, how do we pivot?
Or what are your ideas or some of the solutionsto some of the things that we've been
discussing?
You know, you have mentioned something aboutthe labels and and how we yeah.
(13:43):
So what do you think?
So when I think back to my story, I remember sowell that feeling of being stuck, of spinning
my wheels, of being told Oh, you're aphysician.
You can make this much money.
Right?
You should be able to make this much money, butthen also knowing having gone through divorce
(14:05):
and for custody reasons needing to be within acertain miles.
In my case, it's seventy five miles from Yeah.
My children, to continue the status quo of thecustody agreement without having, you know,
expensive lengthy custody battle where youdon't know what's gonna happen, which for me,
you know, my time with my children, again,going back to the family, that's where my value
(14:28):
is.
That's where that's where my beliefs are is.
Is really prioritizing them and prioritizingour relationship as a family.
So for me, I could either stay stuck in thatfeeling of hopelessness and stuckness.
Like, oh my gosh.
The world thinks I can do this, and I I can't.
Right?
I I can't leave to retrain so that I'mcredentialable because then that jeopardizes my
(14:50):
family, which is number 1 to me.
So The change in momentum only happens when youget out of that can't.
You get out of that.
I want to work, but and you're thinking back toall of the limiting beliefs you have and all of
the things that are in your way.
The only time you can change momentum and getthose wheels out of that rut is when we focus
now on the pivot.
(15:11):
We focus on what we can do.
And so for me, leaning into your story, leaninginto what matters to you, asking yourself
honestly, what do you want and believing thatyou deserve to go after that thing, working on
your mindset so that you really truly believe.
So you're gonna hold yourself accountable toworking towards those goals every single day.
(15:35):
Is key.
And so for me, on my story, on my journey, whenI was still in that, what I call the messy
middle, that kinda ooey gooey stage of healingthe the scab hadn't formed yet.
Right?
This was not the time to share your storyopenly because it's still really messy, and
you're still healing.
Yeah.
It's really sore.
Yeah.
You don't want any fingers in there that don'thave good intentions.
(15:56):
Right?
Like, you wanna protect your wound and let itheal.
Yeah.
Perfect.
When I was still in that stage, what washappening was even though for my privacy, I had
changed my number several times, changed myemail address.
I was, you know, barely leaving my home.
I was really living very isolated and remotely.
(16:17):
And women were reaching out to me organically.
They were learning about me through theirfriends, through their acquaintances.
They had questions, concerns, issues happeningin their life, and they were reaching out to me
texting me somehow, getting my information andsaying, hey.
I heard you might be able to help me andbringing these issues to me asking for advice,
(16:38):
asking for someone to sit next to them and helpthem give them guidance, or just give them a
listening ear.
So that they could to start to start thatjourney to reclaim their story.
And when that was happening, here I'm thinking,okay.
Am I stuck or am I faced with an opportunity toreally lean into my true purpose to remember
(17:03):
when I was with my patients, what were thethings that connected us, what were the the
ways in which I truly enriched their lives andhelped them.
And it was through those connections.
It was through that coaching aspect thatteaching aspect of being a physician.
So I looked into that, and I found the JayShetty life coaching program.
(17:25):
Of course, I was a big fan of him and on myhealing journey, I'd listened to Jay Shetty.
I listened to Lewis House, listened to LesCarter who's an amazing, therapist who is from
and he works with people who are trying tolearn more about themselves as they learn how
to cope with controlling people in their lives.
So as I was on that journey, I pursued havingmy certification as a life coach through which
(17:49):
I learned so much.
And I then started life coaching and It wasjust such an affirmation of when you lean into
your potential.
And you leave behind that backpack that you'recarrying around of the cunts and the shoulds
and the how dares you use and the shame and youjust You just put it down and you say, okay.
(18:13):
What are the lessons here?
I'm gonna take the lessons.
I'm gonna put them in my pocket, and I'mleaving all that shame.
You know what?
There.
It's not serving me.
I'm leaving it behind, and I'm moving forwardwith the lessons, and I'm gonna be focused now
on my future because the past I've I've takeneverything I can from it of value.
(18:34):
And now I'm going into the future, and I'mbuilding something beautiful.
And so that's really what I did for myself.
And then I came to the point through my lifecoaching and then through creating content
online on social media, and then that morphedinto having podcast and writing books, starting
my publishing company to give young people aplace where they could really see the power of
(18:57):
their voice.
It's just morphed into this company that I'vestarted.
It's an entertainment company called LittleHouse of Dreams Entertainment.
That serves all of these separate endeavorsthat all come back to reclaiming your story,
reframing it, and let's focus on the future andbuild.
(19:18):
Let's build the future that you deserve andthat is waiting for you.
If only you let go, the past and move forward.
Love that.
I love that.
I mean, so prioritize.
So for those who for physicians who feel stuck,who they need to prioritize healing, change
their mindset, and find their community, andand reclaim, refrain, and build.
(19:43):
Let go.
Let go of the past and and move on.
Oh, this this was so good.
This was really I'm so grateful and happy thatyou're able to join me as as my guest today.
And tell the audience please how how they canfind you if they want to work with an amazing
(20:04):
life coach or if they want to have someonepublished their children's books, where can
people find you?
Well, Thank you so much for the opportunity tohave this discussion.
And I'm so excited to have you on my podcastand learn more about your journey too because
you are out here.
Sharing your story with the world, doingamazing things.
(20:26):
And, yeah, so I'm I'm really excited tocontinue our conversation.
But if you are in sit in connecting with me forcoaching or through my content, or as you said,
you know, helping your children with publishingtheir book, I will say my long term goal with
the publishing, and my daughter is a co editor,and she's actually an author in Little House of
(20:47):
Dreams Publishing.
And she has a little podcast too calledWhatsApp Young authors.
And our goal working together with our company,little house of dreams publishing, is Once we
build this community of authors, we really wantto come back to the medical root of things and
work with children who have disabilities orlife limiting conditions, and they want to
(21:12):
write their story.
To help fund that for them so that they canpublish their books so that they can use their
voice.
They can see how powerful and important theyare.
Despite life's challenges, and also give thatbeautiful legacy for their family.
So we have so many dreams, and it's onlypossible through being able to come and share
our message, places like your beautifulpodcast.
(21:32):
So thank you.
Everyone, if you're interested, you find me atwww.doctorshafferstedgenova.com, and,
hopefully, it'll be written in the the notesbecause they know
that that's the best one to spell.
Yes.
Yeah.
So we'll put in the show notes as well.
And you you can find Doctor Schafer and talkswith Doctor Schafer on your favorite social
(21:52):
media channel, the podcast talks with DoctorShafer on YouTube and Spotify and Amazon and
Iheart and anywhere that you enjoy, listeningpodcast.
So please tune in and join me.
I'm so excited to hear your story and have youcome along to hear all these amazing stories
that we're sharing.
Well, thank you.
And and this was another wonderful episode ofthe fulfilled entrepreneur podcast, look
(22:17):
forward to the next one and find out who are amystery guest is going to be.
Right.
Gord.
Hello, everyone.
I am here with our amazing guest today.
I'm gonna let doctor Schafer introduce herself.
Hi, everyone.
I'm doctor Schafer.
I'm a neurologist.
I'm a physician mom, life coach, and I'm also apublisher and author.
(00:21):
And I'm really, really passionate about helpingclients and my listeners reclaim their stories
and build a beautiful future.
Thank you so much for joining us today.
This is amazing.
It's so good to have you here.
So, usually, I ask my guests, tell us So howdid you how did you get into what you do?
Like, what's your story?
(00:44):
You know, I think, like, most people's stories.
They're much more interesting than we couldever know, and they are full of pivots and
twists and turns.
Right?
That's why we like a really good book with allthose.
And my story is no different.
I actually started out my professional lifefirst when I was fourteen, I was actually a
professional musician.
I was writing producing, singing, dancing,playing instruments, all of those things.
(01:09):
And then as a young person, I I got into NYU.
I was planning on going into the music businessas a business person at that point in time.
I was accepted to the school of music business.
And then as a very young person, I met someonewithin a few weeks got engaged, got married,
really too young, and that person really wasn'tcomfortable with music as an industry having a
(01:34):
young family.
And so that was really the first time that Iwent and I took my dreams that I worked really,
really hard for and I had to do, like, a reallyhard pivot, or I wouldn't say I had to.
I made the decision to allow that redirectionof my life.
I don't have any, I don't feel guilt about thator or anger or resentment for that because that
(01:58):
then led me to what am I gonna do?
I moved back from New York City to the Midwestwhere I'd grown up.
And at that point, it was, okay.
What am I gonna do?
I started studying psychology at IUBloomington, Indiana University.
And Nice.
Thinking, what am I gonna do with my life?
And then I thought, oh, I'll go into medicine.
Right?
Can't be can't be that hard.
(02:20):
Right?
Which is crazy that that was my my perceptionat the time.
I applied to one medical school in ViennaUniversity, and I I got in.
Went into that thinking that I would dopsychiatry because of my background working as
a research assistant and getting my degree inpsych --ology.
(02:41):
Then was thinking dermatology, did all thethings I needed to do to get into a dermatology
residency.
We know it's very, very competitive.
Right?
So you're in your AAOA.
You've got all these research, papers andthings that you're doing to meet that goal.
But then in my 3rd year of medical school, Iactually fell in love on my neurology rotation
(03:04):
with the patients and the disease processes, mymentors, the attendings, and I was just sunk
dermatology no more.
I had to be a a neurologist.
So I pursued that.
I finished a wonderful internship and then didmy neurology residency, and I dispel in love
(03:28):
with being a physician, being a neurologist.
I then went on that, you know, fun andharrowing adventure of starting a practice.
I moved to a new city and state, moved far awayfrom my support system and went to a hospital
that at that point hadn't had a hiredneurologist.
Right?
(03:48):
So here I was, fresh out of residency.
Not any business training, right, because mostprograms or many at that point didn't provide
that.
So here I am, and they're asking you, okay.
What needles do you want?
What equipment do we need to buy?
You know, how do we set up our EEG program andall of these things?
And it was just this huge incredible endeavor,and it was so exciting and so all encompassing.
(04:14):
Once the dust settled on that, and I started tofeel, you know, as you're becoming that
attending physician and really come into yourown and the nerves are going away and you're
getting into a good groove.
My personal life, the issues there, started toreally show themselves in a way that when I was
(04:35):
doing all that arduous training had been a bithidden or I could avoid that now that I was
really coming into my own, and I was no longerjust chasing that baton of the next thing in my
training became really painfully clear.
And, unfortunately, because in that dynamic,the the goal of the family system was to have
(05:00):
me at home more and at work less to meet thoseneeds of the home and the needs of the partner
I was working full time, and then I was workingpart time, and I was working outside of my
profession for this other person towards theirgoals.
And I was investing less and less of time intomy goals.
(05:21):
Then, unfortunately, I did have a verytraumatic birth experience with my youngest
child.
I almost fled to death.
There was a laceration of my uterine arteries.
Oh my god.
Oh my goodness.
That is So, I mean, you know, I don't wannainterrupt your story, but, you know, you went
from being a musician to going into psychologyand and, you know, going into neurology, which,
(05:46):
oh, by the way, is a very difficult field inmedicine.
This is the study of the brain.
This is a tremendously smart lady inintelligent.
And now all of a sudden, you're having to dowhat?
Now stop working as much.
And because you're now you're almost about todie because they had met your uterine artery.
(06:09):
Yeah.
It was very traumatic, and I think, you know,it was another thing that took me that
distracted me away from my path.
You know, it was something I had to recoverfrom, and I had to take that unexpected leave
from work, from my patients that I did notanticipate.
I anticipated coming back.
So then now I'm at home.
(06:33):
And I'm serving the needs of the home now in amore all encompassing way, and that's coming
becoming the status quo.
Right?
And I'm working more and more for this othergoals and less and less towards my own goals.
And then COVID hits, And then it's well.
We need to protect this other, this otherbusiness, this other course of income.
(06:57):
We don't want you to be leaving the home andpotentially bringing things home.
We don't want to disrupt the children's lives.
You know, let's homeschool them and all ofthat, which, you know, I am so grateful for the
time I had homeschooling my children, but therewere consequences to my professional career
that occurred because of that time.
And and I'm okay with that, but those were therealities of that situation.
(07:23):
So fast forward as things are starting tonormalize a little bit in the year plus after
we learned about what COVID 19 was, had thelockdowns as we're all kind of finding our way
in this brave new world.
I'm more and more vocally trying to leave thehome, trying to go back to clinical practice,
(07:46):
and I am being met with a lot of shame andblame about why would I do that, that it would
be selfish.
It would be against the goals of your family.
I know.
Really?
Yeah.
Enough money.
So why would I put the family in jeopardy?
Because I'd make so little money anyways, to,for example, go work locums or or go work in
(08:07):
someone else's clinic.
And it got to the point where we know asphysicians, but a lot of people don't
understand if you're outside of medicine for 1or 2 years, depending upon whatever institution
you're trying to work with, You have to retrainbefore they'll hire you because you can't get
what they called credential.
(08:28):
The insurers won't pay you for your services.
So you're not really worth a lot to them.
Yes.
Exactly.
You know what the lots of the system.
Exactly.
Explain the gap in your resume?
Why do you have more than 30 days gap in yourresume?
What is the relevance of that question?
It I mean, it's it's so questionable.
(08:50):
And I think, you know, we could spend a lot oftime talking about it, because We both know so
many people that have really reasonable reasonswhy they have gaps for days, months, years.
And their resumes that do not detract from whatthey could bring to the medical profession.
(09:12):
So we we could do that But I think a reallysimple way for listeners to just question the
dynamic that we have here in the states in theUS where we're having this conversation.
Think about Europe.
In Europe, it's not unusual at all.
It is very acceptable and expected for aprofessional to take 3 years off.
After they have a child, right, or more if thatchild maybe has special needs, right, because
(09:39):
you're not just a physician.
You're a human.
And and they understand you work for yourfamily.
Right?
You don't work and then you kind of have afamily, and it's this extraneous thing.
So they say that again.
Yeah.
So they understand.
Positions are humans.
They're not just data.
They're not just inanimate objects.
They're not robots.
They are humans.
(10:00):
Exactly.
Exactly.
So other countries, I think, do a better job ofunderstanding after you give birth You know, we
know it takes years for your body to recover tonutritionally get to the place where it would
be, for example, advisable to have anotherchild.
It takes years for you to really regain thestrength you had before and also just have
(10:23):
things settle out in your home life.
And that's just when everything is, quote,unquote, normal.
When everything is going the way you expect it,not when you've almost died on the operating
table from, you know, an error and a c section,not when your child has challenges that were
unexpected, that you really need to pour yourenergy into to help them get the best lead on
(10:44):
life that they can.
So when we take a step back and we say, okay.
It's totally acceptable in Europe.
And by the way, let's look at their statisticsfor how well their patients do for their
outcomes.
So if it's totally okay for, let's talk aboutfemale physicians who take time off after, you
know, they take a a decent maternity leave.
(11:05):
It's okay for them to return and studies showthat they do a great job when they return after
3 years, 4 years.
Yeah.
I didn't know it was 3 years.
I know about Canada, you can take up to 1 yearwith 3 years.
With full pay.
You know?
You can go, yeah, or a long time.
I'm not sure if it's a whole year.
I think it's like 9 months with pay and thenyou can extend it for additional 3 months with,
(11:28):
50% pay or something like that, but 3 yearswith pay with or without pay in euro.
Europe.
And Europe, it's gonna be different on thedifferent regions, but, I mean, there is pay.
It's probably not gonna be what you may
And and what do we have here in the US?
Well, how much paid leave do we have?
I don't think we have any do we have any pay 6weeks?
(11:51):
Is it 6 weeks?
Okay.
So not only do we as physicians usually nothave paid leave?
If our contract says we have, let's say it'sgenerous and it's 3 or 4 of paid leave.
The reality for most people, if they're workingin a a system that operates this way, is that
they're going to owe money to their institutionbecause if they're on a salary, they're eating
(12:17):
what they kill.
So, yes, they can take that time off.
But if they're being paid and their numbersdon't add up at the end of that quarter, at the
end of that year, they're going to receive abalance issue.
Right?
You're in the red, and you may have to repayyour employer for the amount they paid you that
(12:38):
you didn't make up in seeing patients,
which is crazy.
Which is crazy.
Which is what what do we do about Something hasto be done about this.
I think this is the first step talking aboutit, increasing the awareness and letting people
know that, we in the United States weresupposed to be the 1st Right.
(12:58):
In everything.
I'm supposed to have it all.
And, we're not doing so well in this particularmetric.
So, hey, leaders, we need to do something aboutit to improve this for the women and the men,
maybe.
Yeah.
So you know about it.
Right?
When they are mistreated?
When there's inequality, we are all negativelyaffected.
(13:20):
That's correct.
Medicare.
So, you know, when I talked in earlier and you,what what are some of the solutions to this?
Like, you ask physicians, how do we pivot?
Or what are your ideas or some of the solutionsto some of the things that we've been
discussing?
You know, you have mentioned something aboutthe labels and and how we yeah.
(13:43):
So what do you think?
So when I think back to my story, I remember sowell that feeling of being stuck, of spinning
my wheels, of being told Oh, you're aphysician.
You can make this much money.
Right?
You should be able to make this much money, butthen also knowing having gone through divorce
(14:05):
and for custody reasons needing to be within acertain miles.
In my case, it's seventy five miles from Yeah.
My children, to continue the status quo of thecustody agreement without having, you know,
expensive lengthy custody battle where youdon't know what's gonna happen, which for me,
you know, my time with my children, again,going back to the family, that's where my value
(14:28):
is.
That's where that's where my beliefs are is.
Is really prioritizing them and prioritizingour relationship as a family.
So for me, I could either stay stuck in thatfeeling of hopelessness and stuckness.
Like, oh my gosh.
The world thinks I can do this, and I I can't.
Right?
I I can't leave to retrain so that I'mcredentialable because then that jeopardizes my
(14:50):
family, which is number 1 to me.
So The change in momentum only happens when youget out of that can't.
You get out of that.
I want to work, but and you're thinking back toall of the limiting beliefs you have and all of
the things that are in your way.
The only time you can change momentum and getthose wheels out of that rut is when we focus
now on the pivot.
(15:11):
We focus on what we can do.
And so for me, leaning into your story, leaninginto what matters to you, asking yourself
honestly, what do you want and believing thatyou deserve to go after that thing, working on
your mindset so that you really truly believe.
So you're gonna hold yourself accountable toworking towards those goals every single day.
(15:35):
Is key.
And so for me, on my story, on my journey, whenI was still in that, what I call the messy
middle, that kinda ooey gooey stage of healingthe the scab hadn't formed yet.
Right?
This was not the time to share your storyopenly because it's still really messy, and
you're still healing.
Yeah.
It's really sore.
Yeah.
You don't want any fingers in there that don'thave good intentions.
(15:56):
Right?
Like, you wanna protect your wound and let itheal.
Yeah.
Perfect.
When I was still in that stage, what washappening was even though for my privacy, I had
changed my number several times, changed myemail address.
I was, you know, barely leaving my home.
I was really living very isolated and remotely.
(16:17):
And women were reaching out to me organically.
They were learning about me through theirfriends, through their acquaintances.
They had questions, concerns, issues happeningin their life, and they were reaching out to me
texting me somehow, getting my information andsaying, hey.
I heard you might be able to help me andbringing these issues to me asking for advice,
(16:38):
asking for someone to sit next to them and helpthem give them guidance, or just give them a
listening ear.
So that they could to start to start thatjourney to reclaim their story.
And when that was happening, here I'm thinking,okay.
Am I stuck or am I faced with an opportunity toreally lean into my true purpose to remember
(17:03):
when I was with my patients, what were thethings that connected us, what were the the
ways in which I truly enriched their lives andhelped them.
And it was through those connections.
It was through that coaching aspect thatteaching aspect of being a physician.
So I looked into that, and I found the JayShetty life coaching program.
(17:25):
Of course, I was a big fan of him and on myhealing journey, I'd listened to Jay Shetty.
I listened to Lewis House, listened to LesCarter who's an amazing, therapist who is from
and he works with people who are trying tolearn more about themselves as they learn how
to cope with controlling people in their lives.
So as I was on that journey, I pursued havingmy certification as a life coach through which
(17:49):
I learned so much.
And I then started life coaching and It wasjust such an affirmation of when you lean into
your potential.
And you leave behind that backpack that you'recarrying around of the cunts and the shoulds
and the how dares you use and the shame and youjust You just put it down and you say, okay.
(18:13):
What are the lessons here?
I'm gonna take the lessons.
I'm gonna put them in my pocket, and I'mleaving all that shame.
You know what?
There.
It's not serving me.
I'm leaving it behind, and I'm moving forwardwith the lessons, and I'm gonna be focused now
on my future because the past I've I've takeneverything I can from it of value.
(18:34):
And now I'm going into the future, and I'mbuilding something beautiful.
And so that's really what I did for myself.
And then I came to the point through my lifecoaching and then through creating content
online on social media, and then that morphedinto having podcast and writing books, starting
my publishing company to give young people aplace where they could really see the power of
(18:57):
their voice.
It's just morphed into this company that I'vestarted.
It's an entertainment company called LittleHouse of Dreams Entertainment.
That serves all of these separate endeavorsthat all come back to reclaiming your story,
reframing it, and let's focus on the future andbuild.
(19:18):
Let's build the future that you deserve andthat is waiting for you.
If only you let go, the past and move forward.
Love that.
I love that.
I mean, so prioritize.
So for those who for physicians who feel stuck,who they need to prioritize healing, change
their mindset, and find their community, andand reclaim, refrain, and build.
(19:43):
Let go.
Let go of the past and and move on.
Oh, this this was so good.
This was really I'm so grateful and happy thatyou're able to join me as as my guest today.
And tell the audience please how how they canfind you if they want to work with an amazing
(20:04):
life coach or if they want to have someonepublished their children's books, where can
people find you?
Well, Thank you so much for the opportunity tohave this discussion.
And I'm so excited to have you on my podcastand learn more about your journey too because
you are out here.
Sharing your story with the world, doingamazing things.
(20:26):
And, yeah, so I'm I'm really excited tocontinue our conversation.
But if you are in sit in connecting with me forcoaching or through my content, or as you said,
you know, helping your children with publishingtheir book, I will say my long term goal with
the publishing, and my daughter is a co editor,and she's actually an author in Little House of
(20:47):
Dreams Publishing.
And she has a little podcast too calledWhatsApp Young authors.
And our goal working together with our company,little house of dreams publishing, is Once we
build this community of authors, we really wantto come back to the medical root of things and
work with children who have disabilities orlife limiting conditions, and they want to
(21:12):
write their story.
To help fund that for them so that they canpublish their books so that they can use their
voice.
They can see how powerful and important theyare.
Despite life's challenges, and also give thatbeautiful legacy for their family.
So we have so many dreams, and it's onlypossible through being able to come and share
our message, places like your beautifulpodcast.
(21:32):
So thank you.
Everyone, if you're interested, you find me atwww.doctorshafferstedgenova.com, and,
hopefully, it'll be written in the the notesbecause they know
that that's the best one to spell.
Yes.
Yeah.
So we'll put in the show notes as well.
And you you can find Doctor Schafer and talkswith Doctor Schafer on your favorite social
(21:52):
media channel, the podcast talks with DoctorShafer on YouTube and Spotify and Amazon and
Iheart and anywhere that you enjoy, listeningpodcast.
So please tune in and join me.
I'm so excited to hear your story and have youcome along to hear all these amazing stories
that we're sharing.
Well, thank you.
And and this was another wonderful episode ofthe fulfilled entrepreneur podcast, look
(22:17):
forward to the next one and find out who are amystery guest is going to be.
Right.
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