December 22, 2025 • 33 mins
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We trade holiday laughs and a Michelin-level dinner recap for a clear look at how five simple questions can transform a medical visit into a relationship. We show how home, routine, joy, and self-perception reveal risks and shape plans that fit real life.
You can reach out to us by email, yourcheckuppod@gmail.com
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Also active on threads where we share, you know, themes of our episodes and different collections that we think connect to each other
And most importantly, stay healthy, my friends
Production and Content: Edward Delesky, MD, DABOM & Nicole Aruffo, RN
Artwork Rebrand and Avatars:
Vantage Design Works (Vanessa Jones)
Website: https://www.vantagedesignworks.com/
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Original Artwork Concept: Olivia Pawlowski
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:04):
Hi, welcome to your checkup.
We are the patient educationpodcast, where we bring
conversations from the doctor'soffice to your ears.
On this podcast, we try to bringmedicine closer to its patients.
I'm Ed Delesky, a familymedicine doctor in the
Philadelphia area.
SPEAKER_04 (00:19):
And I'm Nicole Ruffel.
I'm a nurse.
SPEAKER_01 (00:21):
And we are so excited you were able to join us
here again today.
So we were, you know, we weretalking before, as we as we do,
before we record, because wetalk to each other all the time.
And we were just talking aboutwhat was that?
SPEAKER_04 (00:35):
Because we're married.
SPEAKER_01 (00:36):
Because we're married.
And um talking about whichChristmas movies yet to still
watch.
I would like to re-watch ThePolar Express.
We did that when I was working,I think it was on uh a Saturday.
I had some extra work to do, andthat was odd in the background,
but I'd like to pay attention.
It touches my soul.
What Christmas movie do you wantto watch?
SPEAKER_04 (00:56):
We can do Polar Express.
SPEAKER_01 (00:58):
Give me a different one for the sake of parody.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01):
Um well, maybe the Grinch.
SPEAKER_01 (01:05):
Oh, you yes.
SPEAKER_04 (01:06):
That was that's like a that and the Santa Claus.
SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
Yes.
We have seen, yeah, we gottawatch it again.
Santa Claus is great.
The Grinch is like a staplegrowing up.
Yeah, Jam.
That's where Jim was born.
That's where Jim was born.
We won't we won't show you hereum because this is like
quasi-professional, but Jim isan alter ego that comes out in
each of us at various points.
(01:31):
Um named after Jim Carrey, youknow, the guy who plays the
Grinch in the live action one.
How alive in in you is Jim atthis very moment?
SPEAKER_04 (01:42):
Um at this very moment, not a lot, but you're
catching me out in an offmoment, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (01:49):
It's true.
Yeah, so we're looking forwardto cozying up after this and
watching a Christmas story.
It's a little bit of a differentepisode here.
Um just to help you guys get toknow us a little bit better as
your hosts of maybe yourfavorite podcast or only podcast
that you listen to if you listenand we're lucky enough.
Um just because it's fresh, topof mind, what feeling did you
(02:14):
get from watching or listeningto Trans Siberian Orchestra
tonight?
SPEAKER_04 (02:17):
Anxiety.
Those guys go so hard.
SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
They really do.
They do.
SPEAKER_04 (02:26):
I like even my years felt like when I got up to go to
the bathroom, there was like alittle kid outside with his mom,
and he was like, Mom, thewhites.
I feel like I was getting motionsick.
SPEAKER_01 (02:38):
Oh my god.
No, really, yeah.
There was this um, oh, so therewas this like family.
Um, and there was like amulti-generational family
sitting in front of us.
And we were sitting like behindthem in a couple seats over, and
they were, you know, they hadthe long arm out, front-facing
camera, they were doing aselfie.
So I grabbed Nikki by theshoulder, and I we're already in
(03:02):
the back of the photo, but I'mjust looking at the camera
posing for the photo.
So they did that once, and thentwo minutes later they were
like, Oh, we gotta redo itagain.
Like the lighting wasn't good.
So then they're gearing up to dothe photo again, and then this
like set of women comes in fromafar.
You know, we're on like one endof the row, they're coming in
(03:22):
from like yonder on the otherend of the row, making their
way, doing the typical likestadium slide in between the
seats.
And I'm posing again, armwrapped around my wife, and you
they can see their like bodiesgoing in the frame, and they go
to me and they're like, Oh mygod, I'm so sorry.
We're in your picture.
SPEAKER_04 (03:42):
I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (03:43):
I'm so sorry.
I got in the picture, and I'mlike, oh no, no.
So I stand up to start lettingthem go, and I lean into their
ear and I'm like, it's okay,we're not with them.
We're just having a little fun.
And they started busting a gun.
You thought it was so funny, andit was a great way to kick off
the experience.
That was so fun.
(04:03):
I I love doing that in general.
I might like look for peoplelike who'd tag like TSO and
Philadelphia and try to see ifI'm in this photo.
SPEAKER_03 (04:12):
Oh my god, we should.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
Yeah, that might be a thing we do tonight.
And then there was that kid infront of me.
Now, like he was what did youwhat did you see?
Because I was like, I don'tknow.
SPEAKER_04 (04:23):
I mean, he was like a five-ish, six-ish year old
boy, so you know, acting as onewould imagine.
He wasn't like being bad oranything.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
No, not at all.
SPEAKER_04 (04:32):
They made it seem like he kept like looking back
at us, like primarily at you.
And like at first, like Eddiegave him like a little head nod,
like a bro head nod, and then hejust like like looked at him and
then like looked, looked away,and then kept looking back.
And then all throughout theconcert, he kept looking at
Eddie, and then he would like dofunny things to him.
(04:53):
I would make like a funny faceor something.
SPEAKER_01 (04:55):
Yeah, like blow up my cheeks to like stick up my
tongue and like make him feellike he's crazy because like
he's like not gonna I'm gonnadeny everything if he like goes
to the elders around him.
SPEAKER_03 (05:05):
And then at the end he looked at me.
And I I like did like a peacesign and like stuck my tongue
out.
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
Oh, and not to mention the guy sitting next to
him, this like very masculine.
I I was I was being rude, I waseavesdropping his text messages,
but they were right in front ofme in big text.
Yeah, he got his the text up,the text was like big, gigantic
his vision problems, but he'slike a young guy, like big man,
like lots of testosterone, bigbeard.
(05:36):
And like his bros are textinghim like, Oh, you're a TSO,
that's so cool.
And he's like, Yeah, man, I'mhere.
Second time I've ever been.
They get me every time, they'reso moving.
I feel I feel everything, it'sso emotional.
I'm like, this guy is complex.
My how I judged him even before.
(05:58):
Um, yeah, you know, there'ssomething to be said for those
like privacy screens.
SPEAKER_02 (06:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (06:04):
All in the world.
Oh, that was a blast.
Um, yeah, they're very intense.
When they came out with O4Tuna.
SPEAKER_03 (06:12):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (06:13):
I like one, I can't help but think of that YouTube
video where they're like, youknow what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
They like mispronounced thewords and O4 Tuna.
It's a good one.
Um, it's been around for awhile.
Um, so that was great.
And then something else great wedid this week, just on Thursday.
Um tell us about the restauranta little bit.
SPEAKER_04 (06:34):
We went to my loop or my loop.
Who knows?
I don't know how it's actuallypronounced.
I feel like the P is silent, butwe went there.
It was that was one of theMichelin recommended
restaurants.
So we took a trip for you.
A couple blocks over.
For me?
SPEAKER_01 (06:51):
No, for like the listeners.
SPEAKER_04 (06:53):
No.
Yeah.
What was I saying?
Yeah, so we took the trip over.
It wasn't much of a trip.
We like walked for a coupleminutes, which was nice.
SPEAKER_01 (07:03):
So nice.
SPEAKER_04 (07:05):
Oh my god, this was like easily top five dinners
we've had in Philly so far.
SPEAKER_01 (07:11):
At least and in certain circumstances, could
like vault me up to the bestone.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:17):
Yeah.
Because the another top isSaraya, which is like a
completely different fare.
You know, it's like Lebanese,like very, you know, heavy on
like the Middle Eastern flaves.
SPEAKER_01 (07:29):
Yep.
SPEAKER_04 (07:29):
And then this restaurant was like a French
restaurant, so very different.
SPEAKER_01 (07:33):
French Canadian.
SPEAKER_04 (07:34):
French Canadian.
SPEAKER_01 (07:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:36):
Um so yeah.
Uh we did the tasting menu.
SPEAKER_02 (07:41):
Excellent choice.
SPEAKER_04 (07:42):
We love a tasting menu.
Thank you, Chase.
Typically do one.
Thank you, Chase.
Yeah.
It was a little pricey, but wehad like a credit from our
credit card.
We like had to use before theend of the year.
So it had to be fancy dinner ona Thursday.
Yeah.
Um yeah, it was definitely alittle pricier than we would
normally spend.
Definitely like a maybe more oflike a celebratory dinner.
SPEAKER_02 (08:04):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (08:04):
Type thing.
But you know.
Oh, maybe we're going to go getyour credit card to pay for it.
Who knows?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:09):
Either one.
SPEAKER_04 (08:10):
Um anyway, so we did the tasting menu, which I know
tasting menus are usuallydifferent.
Sometimes you have like optionsto pick from certain groups.
Sometimes it's preset.
But this was interesting becausebasically, like your server
picked, and they kind of askedyou kind of like what you know,
like vibe of food that youliked.
If there were things that youwere wanting to try, like they
(08:31):
made sure that that was onthere.
Um, but we did a couple of theraw bar things.
We got the oysters.
The scallops were so oh my god.
I love a scallop.
Like, if there's a scallop onthe menu, we're getting it, and
these were so good.
I don't quite know how they werelike prep, like they were part
of the raw bar.
SPEAKER_02 (08:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (08:51):
But I don't know like how they were prepared or
what was on top of it, but itwas delicious.
SPEAKER_01 (08:56):
I feel like Mike had, now that the people know
who Mike is, he had like a fancyname for it that it's like it
was like a thin slice ofsomething.
But anyway, you're an oystergirly now, too.
SPEAKER_04 (09:07):
I am an oyster girly now, which is unfortunate for a
credit card.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a bad day.
Bad day when Nikki starts tolike something expensive.
SPEAKER_01 (09:15):
Yeah, not good.
Not good.
SPEAKER_04 (09:17):
Um oh, and then the pickled shrimp.
That was cool.
I've never had anything likethat before.
SPEAKER_01 (09:23):
A humble saltine cracker, a garlic aioli, and
pickled shrimp.
SPEAKER_04 (09:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:29):
Delicious.
SPEAKER_04 (09:32):
Like make a little bite.
SPEAKER_01 (09:34):
Tell us about that second course, the surprising
course.
SPEAKER_04 (09:38):
The second course, there were like 500 courses.
SPEAKER_01 (09:45):
Was that that garlic cinnamon roll?
That garlic roll?
SPEAKER_04 (09:47):
Yeah, escar roll.
It was basically like a bigfancy garlic knot.
Yeah.
But like it was better.
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
It was way better than the garlic knot.
SPEAKER_04 (09:56):
And then this like stuffed cabbage.
SPEAKER_01 (09:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (09:59):
I don't know what it was stuffed with, but it was
delicious.
This like leeks and lobster.
Uh lobster that was tasty.
The thing that was our favoritewas the squash.
It was like squash.
It was in this like creamy layersomething on the bottom, then
the squash, and then it hadpumpkin scenes on it.
(10:21):
I oh my god.
Yeah.
It was, and that's also why likea tasting menu is good because
we, if we were just ordering, wewouldn't have ordered the
squash.
SPEAKER_01 (10:28):
Not a chance.
SPEAKER_04 (10:29):
But we can't stop talking about the squash.
It was like our favorite thing.
I was even telling the attendantI work with, I was like telling
him how he and his wife shouldgo.
And then I was like, You gotlike you gotta get the squash.
SPEAKER_01 (10:39):
Like I was so surprised.
SPEAKER_04 (10:42):
Yeah.
And they had some whatever likethe chicken thing was, I forget
what that was called.
Oh, that was tasty.
Yeah.
It was like on a skewer.
Um we were pretty full by then.
Yeah.
Am I missing something?
Um, I don't I don't know.
(11:03):
I think that was all.
That hits the the cake wasreally.
I'm not even like a cake person,but it was like a dense
chocolate cake and then a layerof like mousse, I think, on top
of it.
And then like a ganache on topof that.
It was so yummy.
SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
It was awesome.
That place was great.
A couple good beverages.
Don't want to get called out fortalking about our beverages too
much.
Shade from people who I thoughtwere allies.
Gosh, human.
Um that place was awesome.
It was so good.
So good.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (11:39):
I and it's cool because they um they change
their menu every so often, everylike I don't know if that's a
set time.
It feels like just whatever likethat.
She said it ever like third day,I think.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:53):
It was cool.
She was great too.
SPEAKER_04 (11:56):
Yeah, Jill the bartender.
SPEAKER_01 (11:58):
We didn't earn, you know, occasionally, like, we
notice that they don't alwaysserve their name early.
And we always like take it as achallenge to try to earn their
name by the end.
Because I you could imagine,like, yeah, I'm a handful at a
restaurant.
SPEAKER_04 (12:14):
And you're actually like a menace to society and
then anywhere we go.
SPEAKER_01 (12:18):
Yeah.
Like, you know, I'm you're notjust gonna you're not just gonna
get by.
Like, I want I wanna know.
I want the whole experience.
But anyway, so then when you didthe tasting menu, you got a
little takeaway.
SPEAKER_04 (12:30):
Oh, yeah, we got a road snack.
It was like a salted caramelrice crispy treat situation or
something.
It was good.
It's pretty good.
Also good.
We ate it the next night.
Yeah.
My loop.
My loop.
My loop.
My loo.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
My loo?
SPEAKER_04 (12:46):
I don't know.
It was really good.
All right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:50):
So you said you have uh an item for Nikki's corner.
SPEAKER_04 (12:52):
Is that correct?
I do.
I don't know if you've seenthis.
SPEAKER_01 (12:55):
I probably have not, because I have not heard of
anything you've mentioned yet.
SPEAKER_04 (12:59):
So it's kind of crazy.
Um let's see.
Let's get back to it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:04):
It's coming out of Florida because it about the
EPS, the files.
The Epstein.
It's not.
SPEAKER_04 (13:12):
I don't know that we're gonna talk about that
here, though.
I don't think it's a place totalk about it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:16):
No, I also don't think it's supposed to talk
about it.
SPEAKER_04 (13:18):
But yeah, it's coming out of Florida, like I
was saying.
Um no normal news ever comes outof that place.
SPEAKER_01 (13:24):
So no, Florida man.
SPEAKER_04 (13:26):
It's certainly so there was this woman in Florida.
SPEAKER_01 (13:31):
Florida woman.
SPEAKER_04 (13:32):
Who um whose name she goes by Deborah, but her
real or no, goes by Sharon, buther real name is Deborah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:42):
Two great names.
SPEAKER_04 (13:44):
She, this lady, so she was arrested earlier this
week, like right in front of herhouse for kidnapping her
daughter about 40 years ago in1983.
Huh.
So the story is that this woman,Deborah, Deborah is her real
name, and um her daughter's realname is Michelle, but they now
(14:07):
go by Sharon and Melissa.
So the mom, I'll just say themom and the daughter.
So the mom was with the thefather, her husband.
SPEAKER_02 (14:19):
Yep.
SPEAKER_04 (14:19):
They were planning to relocate from Kentucky to
Georgia.
So the story is like the momtook the daughter down to
Georgia.
They were going to get thereearly, set up the house,
whatever, but then the dad gotthere and they were gone.
SPEAKER_02 (14:33):
Oh.
SPEAKER_04 (14:33):
So she had relocated with the daughter to Florida,
changed their names, changedtheir identities.
At one point, she was on thelike FBI's top eight most wanted
for like parental abductions.
And the daughter was on um, Iforgot what the official name,
like the whatever like missingchild list is.
SPEAKER_01 (14:56):
That thing of like this child looks like this now.
SPEAKER_04 (14:59):
Yeah, basically the face on the milk carton.
Did you read that book?
SPEAKER_01 (15:03):
I don't read, so no.
SPEAKER_04 (15:04):
No like middle school or like elementary
school.
SPEAKER_01 (15:08):
Even then.
SPEAKER_04 (15:09):
Oh, okay.
Anyway, well, it's about a girlwho like sees like a picture of
a child on the face of like amissing child on a milk carton.
SPEAKER_01 (15:17):
It's her.
SPEAKER_04 (15:17):
And then it's her.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
She's the missing child.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
But then this real life story,what happens?
SPEAKER_04 (15:25):
Anyway, so this woman was arrested, blah, blah,
blah.
That's not the crazy part.
The crazy part is how the likebody, the cop body cam footage
is out and it is on TikTok,obviously, where you find all of
your most important newsupdates.
(15:45):
And the internet is going crazyover this woman's neighbor that
was with her when they were justlike out front chit-chatting
when she got arrested.
I'll like play the sound of itbecause the woman, the neighbor
like comes in, like the copscome in and they're like, Oh,
like, are you so and so?
And the neighbor's like, Oh,they're coming for you, Sharon.
(16:07):
And she like thinks that it'sthis like joke that like
someone's pulling on her.
SPEAKER_03 (16:12):
Oh, but it's real.
SPEAKER_04 (16:13):
And then the cops are like, da da da, you're being
arrested.
And then the neighbor at firstlike steps back and then she
comes back and like pats her onthe back, and she's like, They
gotta be tasing ya.
And then the one cop, there'slike like multiple police
officers there, and the cop'slike, no ma'am, we're not.
You need to go home.
And so she's like stunned.
(16:33):
She's like, Oh my god, I'm sosorry, I'm so sorry.
Goes back across the street, andthen you just like see her in
her driveway.
Stop like it like in her garage,like her garage door is open,
like in her garage, but likeit's open, and then she's just
standing there, like likecupping her.
Hands is gonna just like peaksuburban nosy neighbor.
Oh my god.
(16:54):
So funny.
And that's honestly the real thereal news of this.
SPEAKER_01 (17:00):
Is the neighbor?
unknown (17:01):
Uh-oh.
You're coming for you, Sharon.
SPEAKER_02 (17:05):
They want Reggie.
SPEAKER_04 (17:07):
Reggie's the dog.
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Well, we're here for you, ma'am.
Definitely here for you.
Well, why?
SPEAKER_04 (17:17):
And here she's like, look at her.
Do you see her?
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
We're uh waiting on the maneuver.
Uh with all the information thatwe do have, you have a warrant
for your arrest.
SPEAKER_04 (17:26):
And then here she comes again.
unknown (17:29):
Ma'am, we're not out.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
Oh, ma'am, ma'am, we're not.
SPEAKER_04 (17:33):
So then she like goes back, and then you can kind
of see like at certain pointswhen you like pause the video
from the body cam, like you justlike see her in her in her
driveway, and she's still there,like watching everything happen.
SPEAKER_01 (17:47):
Peak nosy neighbor.
SPEAKER_04 (17:49):
So funny.
I love a suburban nosy neighbor.
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
So, really, the story is about the neighbor.
SPEAKER_04 (17:53):
Yeah, the real story is about the neighbor.
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
It's an actual commentary on.
SPEAKER_04 (17:58):
Yeah, but this like 40 something year old woman was
like reunited with her dad andhad no idea that I was like
reading more about it.
Apparently, she like had no ideathat like her real name was
Michelle.
I'm like, oh Michelle MaureenNewton.
She was going by like Melissa, Ithink.
Wow.
And then she like didn't realizeI guess she realized like things
(18:19):
in her life that she like missedbecause she was like three when
it happened.
SPEAKER_01 (18:23):
Oh yeah.
That's tough.
That's a tough thing to have toexperience.
SPEAKER_04 (18:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:30):
Wow.
SPEAKER_04 (18:31):
But I want to know like the T.
Why did like why?
SPEAKER_01 (18:34):
Yeah.
Um this is a biopic waiting tohappen.
SPEAKER_04 (18:38):
Oh wait, there was also Hold on, you're gonna have
to like cut slices.
There was this story about thiscop in Tom's River.
I wonder if who do we knowthat's a cop in Tom's River?
SPEAKER_01 (18:55):
They will remain nameless.
SPEAKER_04 (18:58):
Okay.
Hold on.
I like heard about this, I know.
SPEAKER_01 (19:07):
By the way, I made mushroom soup tonight.
And it is the ingredients werelike, you know, I was
anticipating doing this likefive days earlier.
The ingredients are we're fine.
They're passable, but like theentire dish is delightful.
SPEAKER_04 (19:22):
Oh, okay.
Another thing that I just had tolook up real quick, because I
heard it.
There was a cop from Tom'sRiver, New Jersey, which is I
mean it's not close to us, butnot overly far.
We know some people that livearound there.
Um, I guess she's like an expolice officer now.
Rebecca Sayi.
(19:43):
Say.
SPEAKER_01 (19:44):
Oh, we're given a name now.
SPEAKER_04 (19:46):
Well, that's what it says in this article.
She went on a destructiverampage at her ex boyfriend's
home and attacked him and hisnew girlfriend.
SPEAKER_01 (19:54):
Oh.
SPEAKER_04 (19:55):
And she's barred for life from ever working in law
enforcement in New Jersey.
Oh.
unknown (20:02):
You know.
SPEAKER_04 (20:04):
Um but yeah, she like went on this rampage on
November 17th after breakinginto her ex's house as part of
her plea guilty.
She was also formally forfeitedher gig with the Toms River
Township Police Department andall feature public employment in
the state of New Jersey.
SPEAKER_01 (20:23):
Hold on.
They called it a gig?
Like it's a ban?
That's what the New York Postcalled it.
A gig?
SPEAKER_04 (20:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (20:29):
This is like law enforcement we're talking about.
New York Post.
SPEAKER_04 (20:33):
Um Wow.
Maybe the New York Post.
Isn't that crazy?
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04 (20:39):
I want to know why what he did.
Yeah, there's also.
I want to know like the likepeople don't snap out of
nowhere.
So like I want to know that No,they don't.
I want to know like the years oftorment that this guy did to
this girl.
Because she's probably valid.
Probably.
You know?
I mean, it's a shame for likethe new girlfriend who's
probably just an innocentbystander, but yeah, shoot.
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
Oh man.
Do you think they're stilltogether?
SPEAKER_04 (21:03):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (21:04):
Wow.
SPEAKER_04 (21:04):
If you had a crazy ex, we would not be married
right now.
I mean, well.
Um.
So you're gonna have to try tofind some intel.
SPEAKER_01 (21:17):
I am gonna have to try to find some intel.
I think I might be able to.
All right.
Well, this has been a healthyopener here.
Um, you know, tis the holidayseason.
Tis the end of a long weekend.
SPEAKER_04 (21:30):
Yeah, you'll note that there is a new episode on a
holiday week.
SPEAKER_01 (21:33):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (21:34):
Most podcasts don't do this, so you're welcome.
SPEAKER_01 (21:37):
That's I wanted some sort of consistency, but you
know, we're gonna keep a littlelight on the the medical
learning today, the healthlearning, but I wanted to share
a little bit about myself and umwell, like not and you're giving
me a look over there, but thingsthat like I'll explain.
So this episode is about thefive questions that I ask at the
(22:00):
beginning of almost every visit.
And I just wanted to share itbecause I think it is an
important thing.
I think it's important thatpeople who are in healthcare
take care take time to learnabout the people who they're
taking care of.
And so this is sort of my way tostart doing it.
(22:21):
I'm gonna explain why I do iteach time.
Does that does that seem okay?
Sure.
Cool.
Um so the first question Iusually ask is where do you
live?
And then I usually get anoff-putting like shoulder shrug.
Um, and then I usually explainthat like I ask these questions
of every single person.
Some people will give me anaddress, some people will say
(22:43):
like down the street, what haveyou.
But it opens the door for me toask my second question of who
lives there.
And the idea there is like I'mtrying to figure out if someone
lives alone or if someone hasfamily in the area that they can
rely on for their health.
Knowing that, like I see I'mseeing from like newborns to
(23:04):
elderly people who are verysenior.
So, like, I'm interested inknowing if a senior citizen like
lives down the street and ifthey live alone, or do they live
in a like multi-generationalfamily and they have someone
there with them?
So that's all very important tome.
Or is there a young woman who'sliving with a boyfriend?
(23:24):
Or are people living with theirfamilies?
Like, all of that helps.
Also, because I happen to see alot of families.
So, where do you live and wholives there?
It are the first two questions.
Any thoughts coming after that?
SPEAKER_04 (23:41):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (23:42):
I feel like you've said that like no one has ever
done this.
This is like very new.
This is also new for me.
SPEAKER_04 (23:46):
Oh, yeah.
I don't think I've ever gone tothe doctor and they like acted
like they cared about in anypart of my life other than why I
was sitting in front of them.
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, well, that's you know.
SPEAKER_04 (24:00):
Um, so the next one is a It actually always like
pretty much acted inconveniencedby my presence.
SPEAKER_01 (24:06):
Well, that's what not what we're trying to do here
on your checkup.
Um, so the next one is very it'sworded in a very specific way.
How do you spend your timeduring the day?
And the number one answer I getis work.
And then people tend to notexplain what they do for work.
(24:26):
So, you know, as a sub questionthree.
SPEAKER_04 (24:28):
This is why you think your 20-minute
appointments aren't enough.
You're doing too muchchit-chatting.
Well, this is all veryintentional, right?
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
It's very intentional.
Um, so I ask what they do duringthe day, because I would say the
vast majority of people I meethave occupations outside of the
home during the day.
But that is by far notexclusively the only answer.
There are people who havedifferent roles in life where
they either can afford to notwork.
(24:56):
Sometimes that happens.
Sometimes people have differentroles in life, like they're
staying at home, taking care ofand raising their families.
That's a very, it's like anincredibly important, valid
thing to do during the day.
Some people do that, or somepeople work at night.
And so instead of asking, like,what do you do for work?
and then having an awkwardmoment where someone's like, Oh,
(25:18):
I don't work, or oh, I work atnight, I ask it that way.
And I get plenty of answers.
And I think it like kind ofopens the door, kind of absolves
people of any like feeling thatthey have about what they do.
Because sometimes I like I comeacross someone who's retired and
they're like, Oh, yeah, I likedo things around the house, we
(25:40):
travel, we do this with thegrandkids, or someone's like,
Oh, I don't have a single momentto myself during the day because
I'm chasing around like fourchildren all day.
And like, that's what I'm doingall day, which has its own set
of challenges.
So that is like I think the mostinformative question.
Um, any thoughts about that?
SPEAKER_04 (26:04):
Um, no, can still pretty confidently say I've
never been asked these questionsbefore.
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
Yeah, you know, and I what I do, these are like
notably at a new patientappointment, and which of which
I've been having a lot of.
And I would call this an earlyinvestment in getting to know
them and trying to figure outtheir motivations and figure out
why people do things, what theycare about, all kind of for
(26:29):
motivational interviewing.
So it does, it does come acrossas chit-chat.
And with the AI scribe, it likecaptures it.
So it helps me remember peopletoo at the end of the day.
Um so it's paid off because whenthey come back, I walk in there
and I'm like, oh, king, hello,and they're smiling.
And even if they're 80 years oldand I call them king, they they
(26:52):
like it or queen or somethingelse.
You know, people really likethat.
My fourth question has developeda little bit is what gives you
happiness, joy, or what do youlook forward to?
Because I ask ask about hobbies,but then I also get like a lot
of dads who come in, like youngdads who are like, oh, well, I
(27:15):
go to work and then I have mykids and then I go to bed.
And that's what I do, and thoseare my hobbies.
And I'm like, oh wow.
That's a lot.
SPEAKER_04 (27:27):
So then I I hate the hobby question.
SPEAKER_01 (27:29):
So I just I got rid of the hobby question.
SPEAKER_04 (27:32):
No, I'm just saying, like in general.
Like if someone's like, what areyour hobbies?
SPEAKER_01 (27:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (27:39):
What I don't have any.
SPEAKER_01 (27:41):
People like freeze up whenever I ask it and it
stops the conversation.
So I changed it.
So I changed it to like, whatwhat makes you happy?
What brings you joy?
What do you look forward to?
I'm still waiting for people tobe like, I like fantasy
football.
Like no one says that.
And I like try to tell them,like, don't impress me, like,
show me what you like.
And some people give me reallycool answers.
(28:01):
Like, some people tell me abouttheir art, then I learn about
people being in bands, then Ilearn about like what people's
like actual passions are.
A lot of people say family.
But this kind of rounds out thechit chat and then leads into
the last question, which is mydive into their health and their
their medicine, which is if youwere to finish the sentence, my
(28:24):
health is how would you finishit?
And I get a lot of variedresponses, and it's a cool
question because I can see theirchart, and I can see when people
like have a lot going on, andthen they say, Nah, I got
nothing going on, I'm good.
Meaning, like, we have a longway to go to like bridge the gap
(28:44):
between their understanding oflike the what is actually going
on in their health.
Where some people are morecritical of themselves than they
probably should be, and they'redoing pretty good, but they feel
like they aren't.
And then I notice people likefocus a lot on what they can
feel.
Like when people have pain, theytend to focus on that and
correlate their health to that.
(29:05):
Whereas when I think about it,I'm thinking of all these
invisible risks that we talkabout on this show: risks about
diabetes, risks of heart attackand stroke, risks that come with
chronic diseases like obesity orstress or depression.
And you know, people sometimestalk about those, but I am kind
of shocked sometimes to learnhow often maybe sometimes people
(29:29):
aren't aware of like the stateof their health.
And I feel like that's probablya failing on the system.
Like that delivery of knowledge,that like reassessment and
offering that is really aservice in and of itself.
And between those fivequestions, that's how I usually
get started with these newvisits.
And you know, I've lived toregret not asking them.
(29:50):
Like if someone comes in evenfor a cold, I I really try to
ask them, especially becausethen if I don't ask who lives at
home, then I don't learn thatthey have a cold, they're
worried about giving their lovedone who might have disabilities
at home the sickness themselvesand what they should do about
it.
And I could have learned aboutthat if I just asked some of
(30:11):
these five simple questions.
So I think that's what we gotfor today.
Um, it's been working for me sofar, and I'm excited to keep
building my practice by gettingto know people better because
it's probably one of the mostfun parts of my job, if not the
most fun.
Safe to say, no doctors everasked you those before.
SPEAKER_03 (30:35):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (30:36):
Yeah, I think um I think Mike and Sam also said
that in the car too.
But it's important to me.
It builds the foundation of theentire rest of the relationship
with an early commitment likethat.
So it's like sometimes takes twominutes, three minutes.
SPEAKER_04 (30:52):
Yeah, I can't recall ever going to a doctor who like
cared about building arelationship.
SPEAKER_01 (31:01):
Yeah, yeah.
In my head, in my panacea,that's like the beauty of
primary care, and that you cansolve problems in time.
You have one place you can gofor most of your concerns, and
you can do that together in thecourse of time.
SPEAKER_04 (31:15):
Unless they move and then you have to find a new one
every two years.
SPEAKER_01 (31:19):
I know.
That's bad.
That's not how it should bedone.
But like that, also like, youknow, there's a lot of problems
with the system, it's notperfect, and you know, it is
what it is, but that's myromantic view of medicine, and
I'm very romantic about it.
SPEAKER_04 (31:33):
We know.
SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
I know.
How cute.
Okay.
Well, you know, in a little bitof a different episode than
usual.
Thank you for coming back toanother episode of Your Checkup.
Hopefully, you were able tolearn something for yourself, a
loved one, or a neighbor.
You can reach out to us byemail, yourcheckuppod at
gmail.com.
You can find us on Instagram,you can follow us there.
(31:54):
Also active on threads where weshare, you know, themes of our
episodes and differentcollections that we think
connect to each other.
And most importantly, stayhealthy, my friends.
And happy holidays.
Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah,happy Kwanzaa, and whatever
holiday you celebrate with yourfamily this time of year.
Happy New Year.
And most importantly, stayhealthy, my friends.
(32:14):
Until next time, I'm Ed Doleski.
SPEAKER_04 (32:16):
I'm Nicole Ruffo.
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
Thank you and goodbye.
SPEAKER_04 (32:19):
Bye.
SPEAKER_01 (32:22):
This information may provide a brief overview of
diagnosis, treatment, andmedications.
It's not exhaustive and is atool to help you understand
potential options about yourhealth.
It doesn't cover all detailsabout conditions, treatments, or
medications for a specificperson.
This is not medical advice or anattempt to substitute medical
advice.
You should contact a healthcareprovider for personalized
guidance based on your uniquecircumstances.
(32:44):
We explicitly disclaim anyliability relating to the
information given or its use.
This content doesn't endorse anytreatments or medications for a
specific patient.
Always talk to your healthcareprovider for a complete
information tailored to you.
In short, I'm not your doctor.
I am not your nurse.
And make sure you go get yourown checkup with your own
personal doctor.
Hi, welcome to your checkup.
We are the patient educationpodcast, where we bring
conversations from the doctor'soffice to your ears.
On this podcast, we try to bringmedicine closer to its patients.
I'm Ed Delesky, a familymedicine doctor in the
Philadelphia area.
SPEAKER_04 (00:19):
And I'm Nicole Ruffel.
I'm a nurse.
SPEAKER_01 (00:21):
And we are so excited you were able to join us
here again today.
So we were, you know, we weretalking before, as we as we do,
before we record, because wetalk to each other all the time.
And we were just talking aboutwhat was that?
SPEAKER_04 (00:35):
Because we're married.
SPEAKER_01 (00:36):
Because we're married.
And um talking about whichChristmas movies yet to still
watch.
I would like to re-watch ThePolar Express.
We did that when I was working,I think it was on uh a Saturday.
I had some extra work to do, andthat was odd in the background,
but I'd like to pay attention.
It touches my soul.
What Christmas movie do you wantto watch?
SPEAKER_04 (00:56):
We can do Polar Express.
SPEAKER_01 (00:58):
Give me a different one for the sake of parody.
SPEAKER_04 (01:01):
Um well, maybe the Grinch.
SPEAKER_01 (01:05):
Oh, you yes.
SPEAKER_04 (01:06):
That was that's like a that and the Santa Claus.
SPEAKER_01 (01:10):
Yes.
We have seen, yeah, we gottawatch it again.
Santa Claus is great.
The Grinch is like a staplegrowing up.
Yeah, Jam.
That's where Jim was born.
That's where Jim was born.
We won't we won't show you hereum because this is like
quasi-professional, but Jim isan alter ego that comes out in
each of us at various points.
(01:31):
Um named after Jim Carrey, youknow, the guy who plays the
Grinch in the live action one.
How alive in in you is Jim atthis very moment?
SPEAKER_04 (01:42):
Um at this very moment, not a lot, but you're
catching me out in an offmoment, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (01:49):
It's true.
Yeah, so we're looking forwardto cozying up after this and
watching a Christmas story.
It's a little bit of a differentepisode here.
Um just to help you guys get toknow us a little bit better as
your hosts of maybe yourfavorite podcast or only podcast
that you listen to if you listenand we're lucky enough.
Um just because it's fresh, topof mind, what feeling did you
(02:14):
get from watching or listeningto Trans Siberian Orchestra
tonight?
SPEAKER_04 (02:17):
Anxiety.
Those guys go so hard.
SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
They really do.
They do.
SPEAKER_04 (02:26):
I like even my years felt like when I got up to go to
the bathroom, there was like alittle kid outside with his mom,
and he was like, Mom, thewhites.
I feel like I was getting motionsick.
SPEAKER_01 (02:38):
Oh my god.
No, really, yeah.
There was this um, oh, so therewas this like family.
Um, and there was like amulti-generational family
sitting in front of us.
And we were sitting like behindthem in a couple seats over, and
they were, you know, they hadthe long arm out, front-facing
camera, they were doing aselfie.
So I grabbed Nikki by theshoulder, and I we're already in
(03:02):
the back of the photo, but I'mjust looking at the camera
posing for the photo.
So they did that once, and thentwo minutes later they were
like, Oh, we gotta redo itagain.
Like the lighting wasn't good.
So then they're gearing up to dothe photo again, and then this
like set of women comes in fromafar.
You know, we're on like one endof the row, they're coming in
(03:22):
from like yonder on the otherend of the row, making their
way, doing the typical likestadium slide in between the
seats.
And I'm posing again, armwrapped around my wife, and you
they can see their like bodiesgoing in the frame, and they go
to me and they're like, Oh mygod, I'm so sorry.
We're in your picture.
SPEAKER_04 (03:42):
I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (03:43):
I'm so sorry.
I got in the picture, and I'mlike, oh no, no.
So I stand up to start lettingthem go, and I lean into their
ear and I'm like, it's okay,we're not with them.
We're just having a little fun.
And they started busting a gun.
You thought it was so funny, andit was a great way to kick off
the experience.
That was so fun.
(04:03):
I I love doing that in general.
I might like look for peoplelike who'd tag like TSO and
Philadelphia and try to see ifI'm in this photo.
SPEAKER_03 (04:12):
Oh my god, we should.
SPEAKER_01 (04:13):
Yeah, that might be a thing we do tonight.
And then there was that kid infront of me.
Now, like he was what did youwhat did you see?
Because I was like, I don'tknow.
SPEAKER_04 (04:23):
I mean, he was like a five-ish, six-ish year old
boy, so you know, acting as onewould imagine.
He wasn't like being bad oranything.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
No, not at all.
SPEAKER_04 (04:32):
They made it seem like he kept like looking back
at us, like primarily at you.
And like at first, like Eddiegave him like a little head nod,
like a bro head nod, and then hejust like like looked at him and
then like looked, looked away,and then kept looking back.
And then all throughout theconcert, he kept looking at
Eddie, and then he would like dofunny things to him.
(04:53):
I would make like a funny faceor something.
SPEAKER_01 (04:55):
Yeah, like blow up my cheeks to like stick up my
tongue and like make him feellike he's crazy because like
he's like not gonna I'm gonnadeny everything if he like goes
to the elders around him.
SPEAKER_03 (05:05):
And then at the end he looked at me.
And I I like did like a peacesign and like stuck my tongue
out.
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
Oh, and not to mention the guy sitting next to
him, this like very masculine.
I I was I was being rude, I waseavesdropping his text messages,
but they were right in front ofme in big text.
Yeah, he got his the text up,the text was like big, gigantic
his vision problems, but he'slike a young guy, like big man,
like lots of testosterone, bigbeard.
(05:36):
And like his bros are textinghim like, Oh, you're a TSO,
that's so cool.
And he's like, Yeah, man, I'mhere.
Second time I've ever been.
They get me every time, they'reso moving.
I feel I feel everything, it'sso emotional.
I'm like, this guy is complex.
My how I judged him even before.
(05:58):
Um, yeah, you know, there'ssomething to be said for those
like privacy screens.
SPEAKER_02 (06:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (06:04):
All in the world.
Oh, that was a blast.
Um, yeah, they're very intense.
When they came out with O4Tuna.
SPEAKER_03 (06:12):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (06:13):
I like one, I can't help but think of that YouTube
video where they're like, youknow what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
They like mispronounced thewords and O4 Tuna.
It's a good one.
Um, it's been around for awhile.
Um, so that was great.
And then something else great wedid this week, just on Thursday.
Um tell us about the restauranta little bit.
SPEAKER_04 (06:34):
We went to my loop or my loop.
Who knows?
I don't know how it's actuallypronounced.
I feel like the P is silent, butwe went there.
It was that was one of theMichelin recommended
restaurants.
So we took a trip for you.
A couple blocks over.
For me?
SPEAKER_01 (06:51):
No, for like the listeners.
SPEAKER_04 (06:53):
No.
Yeah.
What was I saying?
Yeah, so we took the trip over.
It wasn't much of a trip.
We like walked for a coupleminutes, which was nice.
SPEAKER_01 (07:03):
So nice.
SPEAKER_04 (07:05):
Oh my god, this was like easily top five dinners
we've had in Philly so far.
SPEAKER_01 (07:11):
At least and in certain circumstances, could
like vault me up to the bestone.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:17):
Yeah.
Because the another top isSaraya, which is like a
completely different fare.
You know, it's like Lebanese,like very, you know, heavy on
like the Middle Eastern flaves.
SPEAKER_01 (07:29):
Yep.
SPEAKER_04 (07:29):
And then this restaurant was like a French
restaurant, so very different.
SPEAKER_01 (07:33):
French Canadian.
SPEAKER_04 (07:34):
French Canadian.
SPEAKER_01 (07:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (07:36):
Um so yeah.
Uh we did the tasting menu.
SPEAKER_02 (07:41):
Excellent choice.
SPEAKER_04 (07:42):
We love a tasting menu.
Thank you, Chase.
Typically do one.
Thank you, Chase.
Yeah.
It was a little pricey, but wehad like a credit from our
credit card.
We like had to use before theend of the year.
So it had to be fancy dinner ona Thursday.
Yeah.
Um yeah, it was definitely alittle pricier than we would
normally spend.
Definitely like a maybe more oflike a celebratory dinner.
SPEAKER_02 (08:04):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (08:04):
Type thing.
But you know.
Oh, maybe we're going to go getyour credit card to pay for it.
Who knows?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:09):
Either one.
SPEAKER_04 (08:10):
Um anyway, so we did the tasting menu, which I know
tasting menus are usuallydifferent.
Sometimes you have like optionsto pick from certain groups.
Sometimes it's preset.
But this was interesting becausebasically, like your server
picked, and they kind of askedyou kind of like what you know,
like vibe of food that youliked.
If there were things that youwere wanting to try, like they
(08:31):
made sure that that was onthere.
Um, but we did a couple of theraw bar things.
We got the oysters.
The scallops were so oh my god.
I love a scallop.
Like, if there's a scallop onthe menu, we're getting it, and
these were so good.
I don't quite know how they werelike prep, like they were part
of the raw bar.
SPEAKER_02 (08:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (08:51):
But I don't know like how they were prepared or
what was on top of it, but itwas delicious.
SPEAKER_01 (08:56):
I feel like Mike had, now that the people know
who Mike is, he had like a fancyname for it that it's like it
was like a thin slice ofsomething.
But anyway, you're an oystergirly now, too.
SPEAKER_04 (09:07):
I am an oyster girly now, which is unfortunate for a
credit card.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a bad day.
Bad day when Nikki starts tolike something expensive.
SPEAKER_01 (09:15):
Yeah, not good.
Not good.
SPEAKER_04 (09:17):
Um oh, and then the pickled shrimp.
That was cool.
I've never had anything likethat before.
SPEAKER_01 (09:23):
A humble saltine cracker, a garlic aioli, and
pickled shrimp.
SPEAKER_04 (09:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:29):
Delicious.
SPEAKER_04 (09:32):
Like make a little bite.
SPEAKER_01 (09:34):
Tell us about that second course, the surprising
course.
SPEAKER_04 (09:38):
The second course, there were like 500 courses.
SPEAKER_01 (09:45):
Was that that garlic cinnamon roll?
That garlic roll?
SPEAKER_04 (09:47):
Yeah, escar roll.
It was basically like a bigfancy garlic knot.
Yeah.
But like it was better.
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
It was way better than the garlic knot.
SPEAKER_04 (09:56):
And then this like stuffed cabbage.
SPEAKER_01 (09:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (09:59):
I don't know what it was stuffed with, but it was
delicious.
This like leeks and lobster.
Uh lobster that was tasty.
The thing that was our favoritewas the squash.
It was like squash.
It was in this like creamy layersomething on the bottom, then
the squash, and then it hadpumpkin scenes on it.
(10:21):
I oh my god.
Yeah.
It was, and that's also why likea tasting menu is good because
we, if we were just ordering, wewouldn't have ordered the
squash.
SPEAKER_01 (10:28):
Not a chance.
SPEAKER_04 (10:29):
But we can't stop talking about the squash.
It was like our favorite thing.
I was even telling the attendantI work with, I was like telling
him how he and his wife shouldgo.
And then I was like, You gotlike you gotta get the squash.
SPEAKER_01 (10:39):
Like I was so surprised.
SPEAKER_04 (10:42):
Yeah.
And they had some whatever likethe chicken thing was, I forget
what that was called.
Oh, that was tasty.
Yeah.
It was like on a skewer.
Um we were pretty full by then.
Yeah.
Am I missing something?
Um, I don't I don't know.
(11:03):
I think that was all.
That hits the the cake wasreally.
I'm not even like a cake person,but it was like a dense
chocolate cake and then a layerof like mousse, I think, on top
of it.
And then like a ganache on topof that.
It was so yummy.
SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
It was awesome.
That place was great.
A couple good beverages.
Don't want to get called out fortalking about our beverages too
much.
Shade from people who I thoughtwere allies.
Gosh, human.
Um that place was awesome.
It was so good.
So good.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (11:39):
I and it's cool because they um they change
their menu every so often, everylike I don't know if that's a
set time.
It feels like just whatever likethat.
She said it ever like third day,I think.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (11:53):
It was cool.
She was great too.
SPEAKER_04 (11:56):
Yeah, Jill the bartender.
SPEAKER_01 (11:58):
We didn't earn, you know, occasionally, like, we
notice that they don't alwaysserve their name early.
And we always like take it as achallenge to try to earn their
name by the end.
Because I you could imagine,like, yeah, I'm a handful at a
restaurant.
SPEAKER_04 (12:14):
And you're actually like a menace to society and
then anywhere we go.
SPEAKER_01 (12:18):
Yeah.
Like, you know, I'm you're notjust gonna you're not just gonna
get by.
Like, I want I wanna know.
I want the whole experience.
But anyway, so then when you didthe tasting menu, you got a
little takeaway.
SPEAKER_04 (12:30):
Oh, yeah, we got a road snack.
It was like a salted caramelrice crispy treat situation or
something.
It was good.
It's pretty good.
Also good.
We ate it the next night.
Yeah.
My loop.
My loop.
My loop.
My loo.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
My loo?
SPEAKER_04 (12:46):
I don't know.
It was really good.
All right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:50):
So you said you have uh an item for Nikki's corner.
SPEAKER_04 (12:52):
Is that correct?
I do.
I don't know if you've seenthis.
SPEAKER_01 (12:55):
I probably have not, because I have not heard of
anything you've mentioned yet.
SPEAKER_04 (12:59):
So it's kind of crazy.
Um let's see.
Let's get back to it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:04):
It's coming out of Florida because it about the
EPS, the files.
The Epstein.
It's not.
SPEAKER_04 (13:12):
I don't know that we're gonna talk about that
here, though.
I don't think it's a place totalk about it.
SPEAKER_01 (13:16):
No, I also don't think it's supposed to talk
about it.
SPEAKER_04 (13:18):
But yeah, it's coming out of Florida, like I
was saying.
Um no normal news ever comes outof that place.
SPEAKER_01 (13:24):
So no, Florida man.
SPEAKER_04 (13:26):
It's certainly so there was this woman in Florida.
SPEAKER_01 (13:31):
Florida woman.
SPEAKER_04 (13:32):
Who um whose name she goes by Deborah, but her
real or no, goes by Sharon, buther real name is Deborah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:42):
Two great names.
SPEAKER_04 (13:44):
She, this lady, so she was arrested earlier this
week, like right in front of herhouse for kidnapping her
daughter about 40 years ago in1983.
Huh.
So the story is that this woman,Deborah, Deborah is her real
name, and um her daughter's realname is Michelle, but they now
(14:07):
go by Sharon and Melissa.
So the mom, I'll just say themom and the daughter.
So the mom was with the thefather, her husband.
SPEAKER_02 (14:19):
Yep.
SPEAKER_04 (14:19):
They were planning to relocate from Kentucky to
Georgia.
So the story is like the momtook the daughter down to
Georgia.
They were going to get thereearly, set up the house,
whatever, but then the dad gotthere and they were gone.
SPEAKER_02 (14:33):
Oh.
SPEAKER_04 (14:33):
So she had relocated with the daughter to Florida,
changed their names, changedtheir identities.
At one point, she was on thelike FBI's top eight most wanted
for like parental abductions.
And the daughter was on um, Iforgot what the official name,
like the whatever like missingchild list is.
SPEAKER_01 (14:56):
That thing of like this child looks like this now.
SPEAKER_04 (14:59):
Yeah, basically the face on the milk carton.
Did you read that book?
SPEAKER_01 (15:03):
I don't read, so no.
SPEAKER_04 (15:04):
No like middle school or like elementary
school.
SPEAKER_01 (15:08):
Even then.
SPEAKER_04 (15:09):
Oh, okay.
Anyway, well, it's about a girlwho like sees like a picture of
a child on the face of like amissing child on a milk carton.
SPEAKER_01 (15:17):
It's her.
SPEAKER_04 (15:17):
And then it's her.
SPEAKER_01 (15:19):
She's the missing child.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
But then this real life story,what happens?
SPEAKER_04 (15:25):
Anyway, so this woman was arrested, blah, blah,
blah.
That's not the crazy part.
The crazy part is how the likebody, the cop body cam footage
is out and it is on TikTok,obviously, where you find all of
your most important newsupdates.
(15:45):
And the internet is going crazyover this woman's neighbor that
was with her when they were justlike out front chit-chatting
when she got arrested.
I'll like play the sound of itbecause the woman, the neighbor
like comes in, like the copscome in and they're like, Oh,
like, are you so and so?
And the neighbor's like, Oh,they're coming for you, Sharon.
(16:07):
And she like thinks that it'sthis like joke that like
someone's pulling on her.
SPEAKER_03 (16:12):
Oh, but it's real.
SPEAKER_04 (16:13):
And then the cops are like, da da da, you're being
arrested.
And then the neighbor at firstlike steps back and then she
comes back and like pats her onthe back, and she's like, They
gotta be tasing ya.
And then the one cop, there'slike like multiple police
officers there, and the cop'slike, no ma'am, we're not.
You need to go home.
And so she's like stunned.
(16:33):
She's like, Oh my god, I'm sosorry, I'm so sorry.
Goes back across the street, andthen you just like see her in
her driveway.
Stop like it like in her garage,like her garage door is open,
like in her garage, but likeit's open, and then she's just
standing there, like likecupping her.
Hands is gonna just like peaksuburban nosy neighbor.
Oh my god.
(16:54):
So funny.
And that's honestly the real thereal news of this.
SPEAKER_01 (17:00):
Is the neighbor?
unknown (17:01):
Uh-oh.
You're coming for you, Sharon.
SPEAKER_02 (17:05):
They want Reggie.
SPEAKER_04 (17:07):
Reggie's the dog.
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Well, we're here for you, ma'am.
Definitely here for you.
Well, why?
SPEAKER_04 (17:17):
And here she's like, look at her.
Do you see her?
SPEAKER_00 (17:19):
We're uh waiting on the maneuver.
Uh with all the information thatwe do have, you have a warrant
for your arrest.
SPEAKER_04 (17:26):
And then here she comes again.
unknown (17:29):
Ma'am, we're not out.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
Oh, ma'am, ma'am, we're not.
SPEAKER_04 (17:33):
So then she like goes back, and then you can kind
of see like at certain pointswhen you like pause the video
from the body cam, like you justlike see her in her in her
driveway, and she's still there,like watching everything happen.
SPEAKER_01 (17:47):
Peak nosy neighbor.
SPEAKER_04 (17:49):
So funny.
I love a suburban nosy neighbor.
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
So, really, the story is about the neighbor.
SPEAKER_04 (17:53):
Yeah, the real story is about the neighbor.
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
It's an actual commentary on.
SPEAKER_04 (17:58):
Yeah, but this like 40 something year old woman was
like reunited with her dad andhad no idea that I was like
reading more about it.
Apparently, she like had no ideathat like her real name was
Michelle.
I'm like, oh Michelle MaureenNewton.
She was going by like Melissa, Ithink.
Wow.
And then she like didn't realizeI guess she realized like things
(18:19):
in her life that she like missedbecause she was like three when
it happened.
SPEAKER_01 (18:23):
Oh yeah.
That's tough.
That's a tough thing to have toexperience.
SPEAKER_04 (18:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:30):
Wow.
SPEAKER_04 (18:31):
But I want to know like the T.
Why did like why?
SPEAKER_01 (18:34):
Yeah.
Um this is a biopic waiting tohappen.
SPEAKER_04 (18:38):
Oh wait, there was also Hold on, you're gonna have
to like cut slices.
There was this story about thiscop in Tom's River.
I wonder if who do we knowthat's a cop in Tom's River?
SPEAKER_01 (18:55):
They will remain nameless.
SPEAKER_04 (18:58):
Okay.
Hold on.
I like heard about this, I know.
SPEAKER_01 (19:07):
By the way, I made mushroom soup tonight.
And it is the ingredients werelike, you know, I was
anticipating doing this likefive days earlier.
The ingredients are we're fine.
They're passable, but like theentire dish is delightful.
SPEAKER_04 (19:22):
Oh, okay.
Another thing that I just had tolook up real quick, because I
heard it.
There was a cop from Tom'sRiver, New Jersey, which is I
mean it's not close to us, butnot overly far.
We know some people that livearound there.
Um, I guess she's like an expolice officer now.
Rebecca Sayi.
(19:43):
Say.
SPEAKER_01 (19:44):
Oh, we're given a name now.
SPEAKER_04 (19:46):
Well, that's what it says in this article.
She went on a destructiverampage at her ex boyfriend's
home and attacked him and hisnew girlfriend.
SPEAKER_01 (19:54):
Oh.
SPEAKER_04 (19:55):
And she's barred for life from ever working in law
enforcement in New Jersey.
Oh.
unknown (20:02):
You know.
SPEAKER_04 (20:04):
Um but yeah, she like went on this rampage on
November 17th after breakinginto her ex's house as part of
her plea guilty.
She was also formally forfeitedher gig with the Toms River
Township Police Department andall feature public employment in
the state of New Jersey.
SPEAKER_01 (20:23):
Hold on.
They called it a gig?
Like it's a ban?
That's what the New York Postcalled it.
A gig?
SPEAKER_04 (20:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (20:29):
This is like law enforcement we're talking about.
New York Post.
SPEAKER_04 (20:33):
Um Wow.
Maybe the New York Post.
Isn't that crazy?
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04 (20:39):
I want to know why what he did.
Yeah, there's also.
I want to know like the likepeople don't snap out of
nowhere.
So like I want to know that No,they don't.
I want to know like the years oftorment that this guy did to
this girl.
Because she's probably valid.
Probably.
You know?
I mean, it's a shame for likethe new girlfriend who's
probably just an innocentbystander, but yeah, shoot.
SPEAKER_01 (21:00):
Oh man.
Do you think they're stilltogether?
SPEAKER_04 (21:03):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (21:04):
Wow.
SPEAKER_04 (21:04):
If you had a crazy ex, we would not be married
right now.
I mean, well.
Um.
So you're gonna have to try tofind some intel.
SPEAKER_01 (21:17):
I am gonna have to try to find some intel.
I think I might be able to.
All right.
Well, this has been a healthyopener here.
Um, you know, tis the holidayseason.
Tis the end of a long weekend.
SPEAKER_04 (21:30):
Yeah, you'll note that there is a new episode on a
holiday week.
SPEAKER_01 (21:33):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (21:34):
Most podcasts don't do this, so you're welcome.
SPEAKER_01 (21:37):
That's I wanted some sort of consistency, but you
know, we're gonna keep a littlelight on the the medical
learning today, the healthlearning, but I wanted to share
a little bit about myself and umwell, like not and you're giving
me a look over there, but thingsthat like I'll explain.
So this episode is about thefive questions that I ask at the
(22:00):
beginning of almost every visit.
And I just wanted to share itbecause I think it is an
important thing.
I think it's important thatpeople who are in healthcare
take care take time to learnabout the people who they're
taking care of.
And so this is sort of my way tostart doing it.
(22:21):
I'm gonna explain why I do iteach time.
Does that does that seem okay?
Sure.
Cool.
Um so the first question Iusually ask is where do you
live?
And then I usually get anoff-putting like shoulder shrug.
Um, and then I usually explainthat like I ask these questions
of every single person.
Some people will give me anaddress, some people will say
(22:43):
like down the street, what haveyou.
But it opens the door for me toask my second question of who
lives there.
And the idea there is like I'mtrying to figure out if someone
lives alone or if someone hasfamily in the area that they can
rely on for their health.
Knowing that, like I see I'mseeing from like newborns to
(23:04):
elderly people who are verysenior.
So, like, I'm interested inknowing if a senior citizen like
lives down the street and ifthey live alone, or do they live
in a like multi-generationalfamily and they have someone
there with them?
So that's all very important tome.
Or is there a young woman who'sliving with a boyfriend?
(23:24):
Or are people living with theirfamilies?
Like, all of that helps.
Also, because I happen to see alot of families.
So, where do you live and wholives there?
It are the first two questions.
Any thoughts coming after that?
SPEAKER_04 (23:41):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (23:42):
I feel like you've said that like no one has ever
done this.
This is like very new.
This is also new for me.
SPEAKER_04 (23:46):
Oh, yeah.
I don't think I've ever gone tothe doctor and they like acted
like they cared about in anypart of my life other than why I
was sitting in front of them.
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, well, that's you know.
SPEAKER_04 (24:00):
Um, so the next one is a It actually always like
pretty much acted inconveniencedby my presence.
SPEAKER_01 (24:06):
Well, that's what not what we're trying to do here
on your checkup.
Um, so the next one is very it'sworded in a very specific way.
How do you spend your timeduring the day?
And the number one answer I getis work.
And then people tend to notexplain what they do for work.
(24:26):
So, you know, as a sub questionthree.
SPEAKER_04 (24:28):
This is why you think your 20-minute
appointments aren't enough.
You're doing too muchchit-chatting.
Well, this is all veryintentional, right?
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
It's very intentional.
Um, so I ask what they do duringthe day, because I would say the
vast majority of people I meethave occupations outside of the
home during the day.
But that is by far notexclusively the only answer.
There are people who havedifferent roles in life where
they either can afford to notwork.
(24:56):
Sometimes that happens.
Sometimes people have differentroles in life, like they're
staying at home, taking care ofand raising their families.
That's a very, it's like anincredibly important, valid
thing to do during the day.
Some people do that, or somepeople work at night.
And so instead of asking, like,what do you do for work?
and then having an awkwardmoment where someone's like, Oh,
(25:18):
I don't work, or oh, I work atnight, I ask it that way.
And I get plenty of answers.
And I think it like kind ofopens the door, kind of absolves
people of any like feeling thatthey have about what they do.
Because sometimes I like I comeacross someone who's retired and
they're like, Oh, yeah, I likedo things around the house, we
(25:40):
travel, we do this with thegrandkids, or someone's like,
Oh, I don't have a single momentto myself during the day because
I'm chasing around like fourchildren all day.
And like, that's what I'm doingall day, which has its own set
of challenges.
So that is like I think the mostinformative question.
Um, any thoughts about that?
SPEAKER_04 (26:04):
Um, no, can still pretty confidently say I've
never been asked these questionsbefore.
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
Yeah, you know, and I what I do, these are like
notably at a new patientappointment, and which of which
I've been having a lot of.
And I would call this an earlyinvestment in getting to know
them and trying to figure outtheir motivations and figure out
why people do things, what theycare about, all kind of for
(26:29):
motivational interviewing.
So it does, it does come acrossas chit-chat.
And with the AI scribe, it likecaptures it.
So it helps me remember peopletoo at the end of the day.
Um so it's paid off because whenthey come back, I walk in there
and I'm like, oh, king, hello,and they're smiling.
And even if they're 80 years oldand I call them king, they they
(26:52):
like it or queen or somethingelse.
You know, people really likethat.
My fourth question has developeda little bit is what gives you
happiness, joy, or what do youlook forward to?
Because I ask ask about hobbies,but then I also get like a lot
of dads who come in, like youngdads who are like, oh, well, I
(27:15):
go to work and then I have mykids and then I go to bed.
And that's what I do, and thoseare my hobbies.
And I'm like, oh wow.
That's a lot.
SPEAKER_04 (27:27):
So then I I hate the hobby question.
SPEAKER_01 (27:29):
So I just I got rid of the hobby question.
SPEAKER_04 (27:32):
No, I'm just saying, like in general.
Like if someone's like, what areyour hobbies?
SPEAKER_01 (27:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (27:39):
What I don't have any.
SPEAKER_01 (27:41):
People like freeze up whenever I ask it and it
stops the conversation.
So I changed it.
So I changed it to like, whatwhat makes you happy?
What brings you joy?
What do you look forward to?
I'm still waiting for people tobe like, I like fantasy
football.
Like no one says that.
And I like try to tell them,like, don't impress me, like,
show me what you like.
And some people give me reallycool answers.
(28:01):
Like, some people tell me abouttheir art, then I learn about
people being in bands, then Ilearn about like what people's
like actual passions are.
A lot of people say family.
But this kind of rounds out thechit chat and then leads into
the last question, which is mydive into their health and their
their medicine, which is if youwere to finish the sentence, my
(28:24):
health is how would you finishit?
And I get a lot of variedresponses, and it's a cool
question because I can see theirchart, and I can see when people
like have a lot going on, andthen they say, Nah, I got
nothing going on, I'm good.
Meaning, like, we have a longway to go to like bridge the gap
(28:44):
between their understanding oflike the what is actually going
on in their health.
Where some people are morecritical of themselves than they
probably should be, and they'redoing pretty good, but they feel
like they aren't.
And then I notice people likefocus a lot on what they can
feel.
Like when people have pain, theytend to focus on that and
correlate their health to that.
(29:05):
Whereas when I think about it,I'm thinking of all these
invisible risks that we talkabout on this show: risks about
diabetes, risks of heart attackand stroke, risks that come with
chronic diseases like obesity orstress or depression.
And you know, people sometimestalk about those, but I am kind
of shocked sometimes to learnhow often maybe sometimes people
(29:29):
aren't aware of like the stateof their health.
And I feel like that's probablya failing on the system.
Like that delivery of knowledge,that like reassessment and
offering that is really aservice in and of itself.
And between those fivequestions, that's how I usually
get started with these newvisits.
And you know, I've lived toregret not asking them.
(29:50):
Like if someone comes in evenfor a cold, I I really try to
ask them, especially becausethen if I don't ask who lives at
home, then I don't learn thatthey have a cold, they're
worried about giving their lovedone who might have disabilities
at home the sickness themselvesand what they should do about
it.
And I could have learned aboutthat if I just asked some of
(30:11):
these five simple questions.
So I think that's what we gotfor today.
Um, it's been working for me sofar, and I'm excited to keep
building my practice by gettingto know people better because
it's probably one of the mostfun parts of my job, if not the
most fun.
Safe to say, no doctors everasked you those before.
SPEAKER_03 (30:35):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (30:36):
Yeah, I think um I think Mike and Sam also said
that in the car too.
But it's important to me.
It builds the foundation of theentire rest of the relationship
with an early commitment likethat.
So it's like sometimes takes twominutes, three minutes.
SPEAKER_04 (30:52):
Yeah, I can't recall ever going to a doctor who like
cared about building arelationship.
SPEAKER_01 (31:01):
Yeah, yeah.
In my head, in my panacea,that's like the beauty of
primary care, and that you cansolve problems in time.
You have one place you can gofor most of your concerns, and
you can do that together in thecourse of time.
SPEAKER_04 (31:15):
Unless they move and then you have to find a new one
every two years.
SPEAKER_01 (31:19):
I know.
That's bad.
That's not how it should bedone.
But like that, also like, youknow, there's a lot of problems
with the system, it's notperfect, and you know, it is
what it is, but that's myromantic view of medicine, and
I'm very romantic about it.
SPEAKER_04 (31:33):
We know.
SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
I know.
How cute.
Okay.
Well, you know, in a little bitof a different episode than
usual.
Thank you for coming back toanother episode of Your Checkup.
Hopefully, you were able tolearn something for yourself, a
loved one, or a neighbor.
You can reach out to us byemail, yourcheckuppod at
gmail.com.
You can find us on Instagram,you can follow us there.
(31:54):
Also active on threads where weshare, you know, themes of our
episodes and differentcollections that we think
connect to each other.
And most importantly, stayhealthy, my friends.
And happy holidays.
Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah,happy Kwanzaa, and whatever
holiday you celebrate with yourfamily this time of year.
Happy New Year.
And most importantly, stayhealthy, my friends.
(32:14):
Until next time, I'm Ed Doleski.
SPEAKER_04 (32:16):
I'm Nicole Ruffo.
SPEAKER_01 (32:17):
Thank you and goodbye.
SPEAKER_04 (32:19):
Bye.
SPEAKER_01 (32:22):
This information may provide a brief overview of
diagnosis, treatment, andmedications.
It's not exhaustive and is atool to help you understand
potential options about yourhealth.
It doesn't cover all detailsabout conditions, treatments, or
medications for a specificperson.
This is not medical advice or anattempt to substitute medical
advice.
You should contact a healthcareprovider for personalized
guidance based on your uniquecircumstances.
(32:44):
We explicitly disclaim anyliability relating to the
information given or its use.
This content doesn't endorse anytreatments or medications for a
specific patient.
Always talk to your healthcareprovider for a complete
information tailored to you.
In short, I'm not your doctor.
I am not your nurse.
And make sure you go get yourown checkup with your own
personal doctor.
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