March 13, 2025 • 24 mins
Discover how to transform your fears into powerful tools for growth in this enlightening episode of Heart Magic! Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright invites you to explore 17 pivotal lessons drawn from her book "Revelations of the Sky," where she shares her personal journey of overcoming grief, self-doubt, and the daunting task of pursuing authenticity.
In this engaging discussion, we delve into the alchemy of grief—learning how loss can lead to incredible personal transformation. Dr. Kapansky Wright provides actionable insights on utilizing discomfort as a catalyst for change and encourages you to break free from the fears that others project onto you. With wit and warmth, she emphasizes creating joyfully and authentically without the constraints of what society expects.
Key talking points include:
• Insights on using discomfort as a tool for growth
• The importance of distinguishing personal fears from others’ projections
• Creating authentically: Joy vs. commercial viability
• Embracing inner light and trusting intuition for personal success
• Encouragement to connect with the universe for abundance and growth
This episode is not just about art; it’s about finding your voice and trusting your intuition as a source of personal and creative abundance. Join us and let this discussion inspire you to step into your light and embrace the journey toward self-acceptance and authenticity.
Share your thoughts with us about your journey! We encourage you to subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends about achieving their heart magic. Join us next week for an all-new episode of Your Heart Magic and more psychology, spirituality, storytelling, and heart wisdom.
--
Your Heart Magic is a space where heart wisdom, spirituality, and psychology meet. Enjoy episodes centered on mental health, spirituality, personal growth, healing, and well-being. Featured as one of the best Heart Energy and Akashic Records Podcasts in 2024 by PlayerFM and Globally Ranked in the top 5% in Listen Notes.
Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright is a Licensed Psychologist, Spiritual Educator, and Akashic Records Reader. She is the author of Small Pearls Big Wisdom, the Award-Winning Lamentations of the Sea, its sequels, and several books of poetry. A psychologist with a mystic mind, she weaves perspectives from both worlds to offer holistic wisdom.
FIND DR. BETHANNE ONLINE:
BOOKS- www.bethannekw.com/books
FACEBOOK - www.facebook.com/drbethannekw
INSTAGRAM - www.instagram.com/dr.bethannekw
WEBSITE - www.bethannekw.com
CONTACT FORM - www.bethannekw.com/contact
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro/Outro (00:13):
Aloha and welcome to your Heart Magic, an
illuminating space wherepsychology, spirituality and
heart wisdom meet.
Here's your host, dr BethannKapansky-Wright.
Author, psychologist andspiritual educator.
Dr. Kapansky Wright (00:32):
Aloha everybody, welcome to your Heart
Magic.
This is Dr BethannKapansky-Wright, and today I'm
sharing an interesting passagewith you from my book,
revelations of the Sky.
This passage is called Things ILearned in the Fall of 18.
And it's actually just a listof different lessons of wisdom
(00:53):
that I learned and I extractedthem from my journal when I put
this piece of writing together,and so there's 17 different
wisdoms that really address thetopic of overcoming limitations,
working through fears, thingsthat were really relevant to my
life at the time, and I thoughtit might be a fun and unique
(01:13):
podcast episode to share theseand talk a little bit about each
of them and focus on the themesof overcoming doubt and finding
faith in ourself and how do westay in our lane and not compare
and keep affirming our ownjourney and our own existence.
All of these things reallyspeak to that, and, before I
(01:34):
dive in and share anything, justa little bit of a backdrop
about this book is thatRevelations of the Sky.
The subtitle is 133 Passages onthe Alchemy of Grief, and it was
the third book in a series thatI wrote that started after I
lost my brother, brent, in 2016.
And it follows not just mygrief journey and being in
(01:57):
Alaska at the time and losingBrent and all of those initial
experiences and feelings.
But it follows me making thechoice to move to Kauai and that
whole transition andtransformation and this very
powerful and profound time in mylife, and then being here for a
few years and continuing tofind my path and having my
(02:20):
spiritual and intuitive giftsopening up, and all of this
happening while I was stillworking through my grief.
Grief is not this one timething and we have this big loss
and go through it and life goeson.
The idea of the alchemy ofgrief was this continual
question of how did I take theloss of Brent and work with that
(02:42):
at these different points in myjourney to alchemize it and
keep finding more courage orkeep finding my path.
Who did I become because ofthis loss?
What do I feel now?
How did what I felt aboutlosing him?
What were those feelings andexperiences?
So these books are really closeto my heart and they are
(03:04):
composed of all sorts of things.
That includes poetry, and, andin the book itself it
encompasses and concludes one ofthe sections where I've been
(03:29):
writing about all these thingshappening and the wisdom I was
learning, and so this is thetakeaway chapter of, and here's
the wisdom from, all of that,before moving on to the next
section of the book.
So, number one use yourdiscomfort, your fears and your
doubts as tools for growth soyou can see where you're
limiting yourself.
(03:50):
Then reach beyond that.
I think it's so powerful to seewhat we're afraid of, when we
think about things that we'dlove to do, but we feel like we
can't, or when we feel like weget stuck or we're stopping
ourselves, or we say, well, Ireally want to change, but
here's all the reasons that Ican't.
I'd really like for this to bedifferent, but here's all the
(04:11):
reasons that I can't.
Oh, this is so great.
Right, those are your tools.
This is what we have to workwith, where we can really look
at what are all those argumentsand things I'm telling myself?
Are they really true?
Are these things permanentfixtures in my life?
Is there any room formalleability here, where I could
work at this and chisel away atit and look at it differently,
(04:33):
and could I find a way to growbeyond that?
At the time, I was hoping toteach online classes and put
together some e-courses, which Idid end up doing online classes
and put together some e-courses, which I did end up doing and
just making that first video.
I was going to release a freee-course, which is still up on
my website, your Heart Magic.
It's a free e-course and thatfirst video that I did, I was
(04:56):
terrified.
Thinking about strangers fromthe internet who might find my
work and actually watch andlisten was really scary to me
and I kept remaking the videosand feeling like it wasn't good
enough and having all theseself-doubts.
And so I was actively working,with that energy of noticing
(05:17):
where I was stopping myself andwhat am I so afraid of, and
having to remind myself you'vecome this this far, don't stop
yourself now.
Those first years of being herewere such an exercise and
creative courage and having tokeep pushing myself past my
comfort zone and push myselfthrough the awkwardness and the
discomfort and learn that lessonthat you don't have to do it
(05:41):
perfectly from the get-go Likeyou, just have to take a step.
So lesson number two don't allowothers' fears to dictate your
inner peace.
This could be a whole episode,a whole month worth of episodes
all in of itself.
How do we not allow somebodyelse's fears, their doubts, the
(06:05):
things that they think mighthappen to not impact us and, as
an empath, that was reallychallenging for me.
Something that I work on quitea bit as an empath is boundary
setting, because I feel soeasily what others are feeling
and it's very easy for me toshapeshift and metamorph myself
I'm not sure if that's a word,but I like how it sounds to
(06:26):
shape myself and to be what Ifeel somebody else needs me to
be, not in a way that I lose mycore self, not at this point on
my journey, but more in a waywhere I can take on the colors
and hues and it's done in anauthentic way.
But if I'm not careful, it'svery easy for me to feel what
somebody else is feeling andinternalize that, and I wrote
(06:50):
this a while ago now eight yearsago, so I've obviously had a
lot of growth since then.
But again, I was deep in thatlesson of not taking somebody
else's fears into me and lettingthem become my own.
If I don't like the storysomebody else is telling me
about my life or why they thinkI can't do something, do I want
to make that my own?
Do I want to have that threatenmy inner peace?
(07:14):
And how do we know whensomebody else's fears are
actually wisdom.
They are cautionary thingsbecause they've had wisdom
behind them and they've learnedthe hard way and so they're
imparting knowledge to us,versus when they're coming from
a place of fear.
And figuring that out is calleddiscernment and learning how to
(07:34):
discern.
There's so many rich, deeplessons when we let ourselves
work with that and work withothers' opinions and projections
and their ideas on life.
So there's no right or wrong toany of this.
This is all very malleableenergy that we can work with for
our own personal growth.
Number three create what youwant to create, what's on your
(07:57):
heart to create, and not whatyou think will sell or what
you're expected to create.
That's what true innovation isall about.
Something that was reallyimportant to me at the time as a
creative was just starting withmy joy, like what do you want
to create, and not having tosuperimpose on it, like what can
(08:18):
you package into a product orwhat can you somehow sell?
Whenever I tried to do that, Iwas really stopping the
creativity process and I neededa lot of pure, unfiltered
creativity time at that stage ofmy life where I was just doing
it for joy and putting ittogether and then trying to
figure out what do I do withthis, as opposed to shaping
(08:41):
something that I was hopingwould land a certain way with a
certain audience.
And so that was just a personallesson.
And I think there's times thatwe create purely for ourselves
and for the joy.
And then there might be times,if you are a creative and you
make a living or you're tryingto have your work reach people,
that you might think a littlebit more about what might land
(09:04):
with people.
Who am I trying to share thiswith?
But at that point in my lifethat was not helpful thinking
that was just stopping me frommy creative process.
So sometimes it's nice tounderstand what do I most need
right now in my creativity?
Why am I creating this?
And if we're able to bejoyfully directed, I think
(09:25):
that's amazing.
If we're joyfully directed andwe also feel called to do
something with it and it landswith people, that's amazing too.
But that purity of justcreating based on what's in our
heart I feel is so powerful.
And that leads me to numberfour.
The beauty of what you'recreating in kawaii is all
intuitively based.
(09:46):
It is heart directed and youcan trust that.
You can always trust yourintuition and heart.
Number five learn to bring loveinto the spaces you fear.
There's a lot of ways that wecan work with bringing love into
spaces that we fear inside ofourselves and things that feel
dark or hard or self-doubt orcriticism or any of those things
(10:10):
.
But I've actually found thatone of my favorite ways of doing
that is to see love as a colorand imagine whatever it is that
I fear or wherever the doubtsare, or whatever part of me
maybe feels wounded and thatpart is what is acting out or
having the fears, and justpicture the energy of that color
of love flowing to that aspectof self or flowing to that space
(10:32):
in my life.
It's a beautiful way to bringlove to that space in an
experiential, meditative kind ofway, and it's easy and it's
simple and it's a really niceway to start to shift our energy
, and that without necessarilyhaving to do all this mental
gymnastics and make ourselvesfeel love towards something if
(10:54):
we're still struggling with it.
Just see the color, see thecolor of love.
Can you see that sparking orflowing to something that feels
fearful to you in your ownprocess or inside of yourself?
And play with that a little bitand notice if it shifts those
fears at all.
Number six oh my goodness, Ihave to insert myself here and
(11:15):
say I didn't read any of thesebefore I started this.
This is really free flowingtoday, but this one says you're
meant to teach this.
You are going to use yourjourney of transformation as a
way to teach and empower others.
It's just not quite time yet.
You're still building thefoundation.
Well, how is that for somethingI wrote in my journal back in
(11:36):
2018.
And here I am sharing thisright now on this platform,
which I feel is very much aplatform on teaching heart
wisdom and teaching authenticityand just teaching all of us to
be our own wisdom keepers and tofind those spaces of light
within ourselves and empoweringour light and magic.
So how is that forself-fulfilling prophecy?
(11:58):
Number seven everythingnecessary for success is already
within you.
Keep inviting spirit into thespaces you are already touching
within you.
Keep inviting spirit into thespaces you are already touching.
I have found that when we arewanting to create something or
do something different with ourpath, that if we can find our
joy and find our bliss, thatit's already inside of us.
(12:20):
Like that is where our successlies, and sometimes we get
really caught up on the questionof, well, how am I going to do
that?
Or something really practicallike I'll give you a good
example right now as a creative,I have a vision to create
Oracle decks, and I see a wholeseries of them and I know the
one that I want to start withand I need a publishing home for
(12:42):
that to support the work.
I don't have it yet.
That's something that I'm goingto have to create a pathway to
and find that connection andfind that place that I can have
a relationship, a synergy with.
That will help make thatprocess a little bit easier for
me, so that I'm not doingeverything on my own as an
entrepreneur and fronting allthe costs and selling it and all
(13:04):
of that.
That's too much for the visionI have, and so the starting
place for that isn't to stopmyself and tell myself that's
not available to me.
The starting place for it is toknow that I have this dream in
my heart of creating this thingand I have this vision of like
what that might look like forthe very first deck that I want
to make.
And start with that, start withthe joy, believe that if the
(13:25):
dream is in my heart and that Iwant to make and start with that
, start with the joy, believethat if the dream is in my heart
and that I am able to visualizeit and to take it out and take
that first step, that thesuccess will eventually come.
Success can be fluid.
It doesn't always have to looka certain way for us to feel
like that was a success and sobeing really open with that, to
(13:48):
feel like that was a success andso being really open with that,
but knowing that whatever wewant for success in our life,
it's already in us.
We just have to connect withthat joy and connect with that
bliss.
And that brings me to the nextpoint, eight.
However small a step, it isenough to get the ball rolling.
Just keep taking steps and allelse will flow All right.
Moving on to number nine, don'tlet somebody else's lack of
(14:11):
faith in the universe becomeyour own.
This is really similar to theone that I wrote about not
letting others' fears dictateour inner peace, but slightly
different, because somebodyelse's relationship with
spirituality, with the universe,what they believe is possible,
it's not your relationship.
And I think that it is easy tointernalize what others think,
(14:34):
what they're doing, what theysay, what they believe is
possible, and turn them into ourrelationship with what we
believe about our ability toexpand and to grow and
possibility.
And it's their stuff, not ours.
And so this is just a reminderto myself that still holds true
to not let where somebody elseis at like if they have a lack
(14:55):
of faith, and the abundance ofthe universe or the support of
the universe or the goodnesslike that does not have to
become mine, and part of how westay centered and stay in our
magic, stay in our lane, isreally coming back to well, what
do I believe?
What do I think holds true,what feels right in my heart,
which leads me to number ninethe universe will reflect back
(15:19):
to you the story you believe andtell.
This is true, perhaps not in aperfectly linear way.
I talk a lot on here aboutbeing here on earth and the
creativity of nature and how weare in a co-relationship with
life, and sometimes life justhappens and we intersect with it
.
But I do think that overall,that what we believe about the
(15:43):
world around us is reflectedback.
We know that like attracts like, and so if we are really
practicing gratitude and joy orbelieving in good things or
saying, yes, hard things arehappening and I still believe in
the goodness, I still believein love, I still believe that
magic is possible, then thosethings are still reflected back.
(16:05):
We just have to have the eye tolook for them.
And so I do see this mirroringgoing on, and that is one of the
reasons, among many, manyothers, that the stories that we
tell ourselves are so vitallyimportant.
And I love bringing myself backto a space.
If I don't like the story I'mtelling myself, write a new one,
(16:25):
and every now and then Iactually will write that down
and I will write out a littlesketch of the day of she took
the darkness and shown herheartlight on it and turned it
into magic and peace.
This is a very Bethann thingthat I might find in my journal,
where I will write a littlelike she narrative on myself and
(16:45):
I will write it in a way likeI'm kind of spellcasting and
writing out how I want torespond to something in life and
I keep it whimsical and lightand playful, because it's my
journal and I'll write what Iwant to and because it feels
good to change the story in aplayful way if a narrative feels
heavy or hard.
So I love bringing that whimsyin and then seeing how life
(17:09):
reflects that sense of humor andthat play and that whimsy.
Number 11, the universe loves abroken heart because it means
there's plenty of space to fillit with new light.
Universe loves a broken heartbecause it means there's plenty
of space to fill it with newlight, love and life.
This is true.
When our heart is broken itdoes not feel good for the human
part of us, but it does meanthat there's space in that break
(17:30):
.
And if there's space, there'sroom to be filled up.
And I can speak from experiencewhen I say that after
destruction and loss alwayscomes new life, especially if we
can try and keep our heart opento that new life.
And boy, the universe loves ablank slate and an open heart to
pour something new into.
(17:52):
Number 12, if the vision iscoming from your heart, then of
course it is meant for you.
Engaging in self-doubt is likebetting against yourself.
And why would you want to dothat?
It is so true when we doubtourselves and doubt our capacity
to do something and feel likesomebody else is better equipped
.
It's the equivalent of likebetting against ourselves.
(18:14):
Oh well, I don't think I'mgoing to do it, but this person
over there might and like whywould we do that?
Why can't we be for ourselvesand say I put like all cards
down for me.
I believe in me, I believe inmy capacity to do this,
especially when it's coming fromour heart.
This is a dream in my heart.
It would not have been given tome if it wasn't for me to do,
(18:36):
and only the unique way that Ican.
Number 13, when in doubt, make alist of teeny goals so you stay
on track and have a sense ofmovement, however small.
I still love doing that and Istill love celebrating small
wins and looking at these likelittle, minuscule things that we
do and giving credit for them.
(18:57):
I think it's so vital tofeeling progress oriented and
feeling optimistic and feelinghopeful for any of us on our
path.
Number 14, your relationship tohow you see this world is
entirely your responsibility, sotry and create thoughts which
empower your growth.
(19:18):
You create the paradigm for howyou understand life and the
universe.
Don't allow somebody else'sstructures to become your own if
they are not livingopen-hearted and brave in this
world.
This ties back in with what Iwas saying earlier about the
stories we tell ourselves andthe thoughts and beliefs.
And, as I said, for many,ourselves and the thoughts and
(19:42):
beliefs and, as I said, for many, many reasons it is so
important to find empoweringones and to be vigilant when we
find that we are nurturing astory that's self-defeating.
It happens to all of us.
It's not about never doing it.
It is more about, when we seethose weeds growing in our inner
garden and our thought life,just being vigilant about
rooting them and thinking howcould I reframe this, how can I
(20:05):
flip this?
How can I look at it from adifferent perspective?
Number 15, there is little thata cup of mint tea won't calm
and soothe.
I still find that to be true.
I love mint tea.
Number 16, expectations limitspirit's playing field.
The more we stay open to howour dreams will manifest, the
(20:29):
greater opportunity there is formiracles and magic.
I love creating a vision forhow something might look, but
also knowing that I cansurrender that invitation and
say perhaps spirit knows morethan I do and has a different
way of bringing this into mylife right now, or a different
form that might work better withthe ingredients that I have.
(20:51):
And so I love having a visionbut also letting it be malleable
and just putting out to theuniverse like this is the best I
can come up with at this pointin time.
This is how I'd like it to look, based on my imaginings.
This is how I'd like it to feel, based on what I know, and I
will absolutely surrender thatif you've got a better plan, and
(21:13):
just ask that you match thisvibration.
Bring me what I need and helpme to actualize this in some
shape or form.
So vision doesn't meanexpectation.
Vision just means that weenvision how it might look and
are encouraged to releaseexpectation, so there's more
room for life to dance with us alittle bit and spirit to dance
(21:34):
with us All.
Right, last one, number 17,.
Your connection to the universeis your true source of abundance
and nobody can take that fromyou.
A few episodes back, I wastalking about the idea of
letting your life be a loveletter to the universe, right?
Just because the universe isvast and miraculous and amazing
(21:56):
and sometimes seems impersonaldoesn't actually mean that we
can't offer love to it, becauseI also feel that it's very
sentient and intelligent inresponse to the energy that
we're putting out, and so thisidea of really finding that
connection, which we might alsocall our spiritual connection,
(22:17):
and whatever beliefs we haveabout energy and higher power
and all of those things, it isour true wealth.
Nobody can take that from us.
Nobody can tell you what tobelieve about it.
Nobody can take away your faith, your heart, the magic.
They can't tell you that anexperience that you're having,
that resonates in your heart andfeels magical to you isn't true
(22:40):
because they're not having thesame experience or the same
intuition.
That's all you.
It's part of your heart magic,it's part of what's inside of
you and part of your unique wayof entreating with the universe
and entreating with life andentreating with spirit and your
heart and soul and all that istranspersonal and transcendent.
(23:01):
That is all you and at the endof the day, no matter what else
like, nobody gets to take thataway.
It is something in you that isyour sacred birthright to
explore and to grow in and tostruggle with and overcome and
gain new knowledge and wisdom of, to learn something new and say
(23:23):
, wow, all these things Ithought held true for me don't
anymore, and so I'm going tostay open and curious and see
well, how does it all reallywork?
That is all your sacredbirthright and your gateway and
doorway to your magic andworking with the magical,
amazing being of light that youare.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's podcast episode.
(23:46):
It was delightful to get toshare this passage with you and
I appreciate your openness andletting me do something
different.
I will be back next week withmore psychology, spirituality,
storytelling and heart wisdom.
In the meantime, have abeautiful week and, as always,
be well, be love, be you and bemagic.
Intro/Outro (24:17):
You've been listening to your Heart Magic
with dr bethan kapansky righttune in next week for a new
episode to support and empoweryour light.
Aloha and welcome to your Heart Magic, an
illuminating space wherepsychology, spirituality and
heart wisdom meet.
Here's your host, dr BethannKapansky-Wright.
Author, psychologist andspiritual educator.
Dr. Kapansky Wright (00:32):
Aloha everybody, welcome to your Heart
Magic.
This is Dr BethannKapansky-Wright, and today I'm
sharing an interesting passagewith you from my book,
revelations of the Sky.
This passage is called Things ILearned in the Fall of 18.
And it's actually just a listof different lessons of wisdom
(00:53):
that I learned and I extractedthem from my journal when I put
this piece of writing together,and so there's 17 different
wisdoms that really address thetopic of overcoming limitations,
working through fears, thingsthat were really relevant to my
life at the time, and I thoughtit might be a fun and unique
(01:13):
podcast episode to share theseand talk a little bit about each
of them and focus on the themesof overcoming doubt and finding
faith in ourself and how do westay in our lane and not compare
and keep affirming our ownjourney and our own existence.
All of these things reallyspeak to that, and, before I
(01:34):
dive in and share anything, justa little bit of a backdrop
about this book is thatRevelations of the Sky.
The subtitle is 133 Passages onthe Alchemy of Grief, and it was
the third book in a series thatI wrote that started after I
lost my brother, brent, in 2016.
And it follows not just mygrief journey and being in
(01:57):
Alaska at the time and losingBrent and all of those initial
experiences and feelings.
But it follows me making thechoice to move to Kauai and that
whole transition andtransformation and this very
powerful and profound time in mylife, and then being here for a
few years and continuing tofind my path and having my
(02:20):
spiritual and intuitive giftsopening up, and all of this
happening while I was stillworking through my grief.
Grief is not this one timething and we have this big loss
and go through it and life goeson.
The idea of the alchemy ofgrief was this continual
question of how did I take theloss of Brent and work with that
(02:42):
at these different points in myjourney to alchemize it and
keep finding more courage orkeep finding my path.
Who did I become because ofthis loss?
What do I feel now?
How did what I felt aboutlosing him?
What were those feelings andexperiences?
So these books are really closeto my heart and they are
(03:04):
composed of all sorts of things.
That includes poetry, and, andin the book itself it
encompasses and concludes one ofthe sections where I've been
(03:29):
writing about all these thingshappening and the wisdom I was
learning, and so this is thetakeaway chapter of, and here's
the wisdom from, all of that,before moving on to the next
section of the book.
So, number one use yourdiscomfort, your fears and your
doubts as tools for growth soyou can see where you're
limiting yourself.
(03:50):
Then reach beyond that.
I think it's so powerful to seewhat we're afraid of, when we
think about things that we'dlove to do, but we feel like we
can't, or when we feel like weget stuck or we're stopping
ourselves, or we say, well, Ireally want to change, but
here's all the reasons that Ican't.
I'd really like for this to bedifferent, but here's all the
(04:11):
reasons that I can't.
Oh, this is so great.
Right, those are your tools.
This is what we have to workwith, where we can really look
at what are all those argumentsand things I'm telling myself?
Are they really true?
Are these things permanentfixtures in my life?
Is there any room formalleability here, where I could
work at this and chisel away atit and look at it differently,
(04:33):
and could I find a way to growbeyond that?
At the time, I was hoping toteach online classes and put
together some e-courses, which Idid end up doing online classes
and put together some e-courses, which I did end up doing and
just making that first video.
I was going to release a freee-course, which is still up on
my website, your Heart Magic.
It's a free e-course and thatfirst video that I did, I was
(04:56):
terrified.
Thinking about strangers fromthe internet who might find my
work and actually watch andlisten was really scary to me
and I kept remaking the videosand feeling like it wasn't good
enough and having all theseself-doubts.
And so I was actively working,with that energy of noticing
(05:17):
where I was stopping myself andwhat am I so afraid of, and
having to remind myself you'vecome this this far, don't stop
yourself now.
Those first years of being herewere such an exercise and
creative courage and having tokeep pushing myself past my
comfort zone and push myselfthrough the awkwardness and the
discomfort and learn that lessonthat you don't have to do it
(05:41):
perfectly from the get-go Likeyou, just have to take a step.
So lesson number two don't allowothers' fears to dictate your
inner peace.
This could be a whole episode,a whole month worth of episodes
all in of itself.
How do we not allow somebodyelse's fears, their doubts, the
(06:05):
things that they think mighthappen to not impact us and, as
an empath, that was reallychallenging for me.
Something that I work on quitea bit as an empath is boundary
setting, because I feel soeasily what others are feeling
and it's very easy for me toshapeshift and metamorph myself
I'm not sure if that's a word,but I like how it sounds to
(06:26):
shape myself and to be what Ifeel somebody else needs me to
be, not in a way that I lose mycore self, not at this point on
my journey, but more in a waywhere I can take on the colors
and hues and it's done in anauthentic way.
But if I'm not careful, it'svery easy for me to feel what
somebody else is feeling andinternalize that, and I wrote
(06:50):
this a while ago now eight yearsago, so I've obviously had a
lot of growth since then.
But again, I was deep in thatlesson of not taking somebody
else's fears into me and lettingthem become my own.
If I don't like the storysomebody else is telling me
about my life or why they thinkI can't do something, do I want
to make that my own?
Do I want to have that threatenmy inner peace?
(07:14):
And how do we know whensomebody else's fears are
actually wisdom.
They are cautionary thingsbecause they've had wisdom
behind them and they've learnedthe hard way and so they're
imparting knowledge to us,versus when they're coming from
a place of fear.
And figuring that out is calleddiscernment and learning how to
(07:34):
discern.
There's so many rich, deeplessons when we let ourselves
work with that and work withothers' opinions and projections
and their ideas on life.
So there's no right or wrong toany of this.
This is all very malleableenergy that we can work with for
our own personal growth.
Number three create what youwant to create, what's on your
(07:57):
heart to create, and not whatyou think will sell or what
you're expected to create.
That's what true innovation isall about.
Something that was reallyimportant to me at the time as a
creative was just starting withmy joy, like what do you want
to create, and not having tosuperimpose on it, like what can
(08:18):
you package into a product orwhat can you somehow sell?
Whenever I tried to do that, Iwas really stopping the
creativity process and I neededa lot of pure, unfiltered
creativity time at that stage ofmy life where I was just doing
it for joy and putting ittogether and then trying to
figure out what do I do withthis, as opposed to shaping
(08:41):
something that I was hopingwould land a certain way with a
certain audience.
And so that was just a personallesson.
And I think there's times thatwe create purely for ourselves
and for the joy.
And then there might be times,if you are a creative and you
make a living or you're tryingto have your work reach people,
that you might think a littlebit more about what might land
(09:04):
with people.
Who am I trying to share thiswith?
But at that point in my lifethat was not helpful thinking
that was just stopping me frommy creative process.
So sometimes it's nice tounderstand what do I most need
right now in my creativity?
Why am I creating this?
And if we're able to bejoyfully directed, I think
(09:25):
that's amazing.
If we're joyfully directed andwe also feel called to do
something with it and it landswith people, that's amazing too.
But that purity of justcreating based on what's in our
heart I feel is so powerful.
And that leads me to numberfour.
The beauty of what you'recreating in kawaii is all
intuitively based.
(09:46):
It is heart directed and youcan trust that.
You can always trust yourintuition and heart.
Number five learn to bring loveinto the spaces you fear.
There's a lot of ways that wecan work with bringing love into
spaces that we fear inside ofourselves and things that feel
dark or hard or self-doubt orcriticism or any of those things
(10:10):
.
But I've actually found thatone of my favorite ways of doing
that is to see love as a colorand imagine whatever it is that
I fear or wherever the doubtsare, or whatever part of me
maybe feels wounded and thatpart is what is acting out or
having the fears, and justpicture the energy of that color
of love flowing to that aspectof self or flowing to that space
(10:32):
in my life.
It's a beautiful way to bringlove to that space in an
experiential, meditative kind ofway, and it's easy and it's
simple and it's a really niceway to start to shift our energy
, and that without necessarilyhaving to do all this mental
gymnastics and make ourselvesfeel love towards something if
(10:54):
we're still struggling with it.
Just see the color, see thecolor of love.
Can you see that sparking orflowing to something that feels
fearful to you in your ownprocess or inside of yourself?
And play with that a little bitand notice if it shifts those
fears at all.
Number six oh my goodness, Ihave to insert myself here and
(11:15):
say I didn't read any of thesebefore I started this.
This is really free flowingtoday, but this one says you're
meant to teach this.
You are going to use yourjourney of transformation as a
way to teach and empower others.
It's just not quite time yet.
You're still building thefoundation.
Well, how is that for somethingI wrote in my journal back in
(11:36):
2018.
And here I am sharing thisright now on this platform,
which I feel is very much aplatform on teaching heart
wisdom and teaching authenticityand just teaching all of us to
be our own wisdom keepers and tofind those spaces of light
within ourselves and empoweringour light and magic.
So how is that forself-fulfilling prophecy?
(11:58):
Number seven everythingnecessary for success is already
within you.
Keep inviting spirit into thespaces you are already touching
within you.
Keep inviting spirit into thespaces you are already touching.
I have found that when we arewanting to create something or
do something different with ourpath, that if we can find our
joy and find our bliss, thatit's already inside of us.
(12:20):
Like that is where our successlies, and sometimes we get
really caught up on the questionof, well, how am I going to do
that?
Or something really practicallike I'll give you a good
example right now as a creative,I have a vision to create
Oracle decks, and I see a wholeseries of them and I know the
one that I want to start withand I need a publishing home for
(12:42):
that to support the work.
I don't have it yet.
That's something that I'm goingto have to create a pathway to
and find that connection andfind that place that I can have
a relationship, a synergy with.
That will help make thatprocess a little bit easier for
me, so that I'm not doingeverything on my own as an
entrepreneur and fronting allthe costs and selling it and all
(13:04):
of that.
That's too much for the visionI have, and so the starting
place for that isn't to stopmyself and tell myself that's
not available to me.
The starting place for it is toknow that I have this dream in
my heart of creating this thingand I have this vision of like
what that might look like forthe very first deck that I want
to make.
And start with that, start withthe joy, believe that if the
(13:25):
dream is in my heart and that Iwant to make and start with that
, start with the joy, believethat if the dream is in my heart
and that I am able to visualizeit and to take it out and take
that first step, that thesuccess will eventually come.
Success can be fluid.
It doesn't always have to looka certain way for us to feel
like that was a success and sobeing really open with that, to
(13:48):
feel like that was a success andso being really open with that,
but knowing that whatever wewant for success in our life,
it's already in us.
We just have to connect withthat joy and connect with that
bliss.
And that brings me to the nextpoint, eight.
However small a step, it isenough to get the ball rolling.
Just keep taking steps and allelse will flow All right.
Moving on to number nine, don'tlet somebody else's lack of
(14:11):
faith in the universe becomeyour own.
This is really similar to theone that I wrote about not
letting others' fears dictateour inner peace, but slightly
different, because somebodyelse's relationship with
spirituality, with the universe,what they believe is possible,
it's not your relationship.
And I think that it is easy tointernalize what others think,
(14:34):
what they're doing, what theysay, what they believe is
possible, and turn them into ourrelationship with what we
believe about our ability toexpand and to grow and
possibility.
And it's their stuff, not ours.
And so this is just a reminderto myself that still holds true
to not let where somebody elseis at like if they have a lack
(14:55):
of faith, and the abundance ofthe universe or the support of
the universe or the goodnesslike that does not have to
become mine, and part of how westay centered and stay in our
magic, stay in our lane, isreally coming back to well, what
do I believe?
What do I think holds true,what feels right in my heart,
which leads me to number ninethe universe will reflect back
(15:19):
to you the story you believe andtell.
This is true, perhaps not in aperfectly linear way.
I talk a lot on here aboutbeing here on earth and the
creativity of nature and how weare in a co-relationship with
life, and sometimes life justhappens and we intersect with it
.
But I do think that overall,that what we believe about the
(15:43):
world around us is reflectedback.
We know that like attracts like, and so if we are really
practicing gratitude and joy orbelieving in good things or
saying, yes, hard things arehappening and I still believe in
the goodness, I still believein love, I still believe that
magic is possible, then thosethings are still reflected back.
(16:05):
We just have to have the eye tolook for them.
And so I do see this mirroringgoing on, and that is one of the
reasons, among many, manyothers, that the stories that we
tell ourselves are so vitallyimportant.
And I love bringing myself backto a space.
If I don't like the story I'mtelling myself, write a new one,
(16:25):
and every now and then Iactually will write that down
and I will write out a littlesketch of the day of she took
the darkness and shown herheartlight on it and turned it
into magic and peace.
This is a very Bethann thingthat I might find in my journal,
where I will write a littlelike she narrative on myself and
(16:45):
I will write it in a way likeI'm kind of spellcasting and
writing out how I want torespond to something in life and
I keep it whimsical and lightand playful, because it's my
journal and I'll write what Iwant to and because it feels
good to change the story in aplayful way if a narrative feels
heavy or hard.
So I love bringing that whimsyin and then seeing how life
(17:09):
reflects that sense of humor andthat play and that whimsy.
Number 11, the universe loves abroken heart because it means
there's plenty of space to fillit with new light.
Universe loves a broken heartbecause it means there's plenty
of space to fill it with newlight, love and life.
This is true.
When our heart is broken itdoes not feel good for the human
part of us, but it does meanthat there's space in that break
(17:30):
.
And if there's space, there'sroom to be filled up.
And I can speak from experiencewhen I say that after
destruction and loss alwayscomes new life, especially if we
can try and keep our heart opento that new life.
And boy, the universe loves ablank slate and an open heart to
pour something new into.
(17:52):
Number 12, if the vision iscoming from your heart, then of
course it is meant for you.
Engaging in self-doubt is likebetting against yourself.
And why would you want to dothat?
It is so true when we doubtourselves and doubt our capacity
to do something and feel likesomebody else is better equipped
.
It's the equivalent of likebetting against ourselves.
(18:14):
Oh well, I don't think I'mgoing to do it, but this person
over there might and like whywould we do that?
Why can't we be for ourselvesand say I put like all cards
down for me.
I believe in me, I believe inmy capacity to do this,
especially when it's coming fromour heart.
This is a dream in my heart.
It would not have been given tome if it wasn't for me to do,
(18:36):
and only the unique way that Ican.
Number 13, when in doubt, make alist of teeny goals so you stay
on track and have a sense ofmovement, however small.
I still love doing that and Istill love celebrating small
wins and looking at these likelittle, minuscule things that we
do and giving credit for them.
(18:57):
I think it's so vital tofeeling progress oriented and
feeling optimistic and feelinghopeful for any of us on our
path.
Number 14, your relationship tohow you see this world is
entirely your responsibility, sotry and create thoughts which
empower your growth.
(19:18):
You create the paradigm for howyou understand life and the
universe.
Don't allow somebody else'sstructures to become your own if
they are not livingopen-hearted and brave in this
world.
This ties back in with what Iwas saying earlier about the
stories we tell ourselves andthe thoughts and beliefs.
And, as I said, for many,ourselves and the thoughts and
(19:42):
beliefs and, as I said, for many, many reasons it is so
important to find empoweringones and to be vigilant when we
find that we are nurturing astory that's self-defeating.
It happens to all of us.
It's not about never doing it.
It is more about, when we seethose weeds growing in our inner
garden and our thought life,just being vigilant about
rooting them and thinking howcould I reframe this, how can I
(20:05):
flip this?
How can I look at it from adifferent perspective?
Number 15, there is little thata cup of mint tea won't calm
and soothe.
I still find that to be true.
I love mint tea.
Number 16, expectations limitspirit's playing field.
The more we stay open to howour dreams will manifest, the
(20:29):
greater opportunity there is formiracles and magic.
I love creating a vision forhow something might look, but
also knowing that I cansurrender that invitation and
say perhaps spirit knows morethan I do and has a different
way of bringing this into mylife right now, or a different
form that might work better withthe ingredients that I have.
(20:51):
And so I love having a visionbut also letting it be malleable
and just putting out to theuniverse like this is the best I
can come up with at this pointin time.
This is how I'd like it to look, based on my imaginings.
This is how I'd like it to feel, based on what I know, and I
will absolutely surrender thatif you've got a better plan, and
(21:13):
just ask that you match thisvibration.
Bring me what I need and helpme to actualize this in some
shape or form.
So vision doesn't meanexpectation.
Vision just means that weenvision how it might look and
are encouraged to releaseexpectation, so there's more
room for life to dance with us alittle bit and spirit to dance
(21:34):
with us All.
Right, last one, number 17,.
Your connection to the universeis your true source of abundance
and nobody can take that fromyou.
A few episodes back, I wastalking about the idea of
letting your life be a loveletter to the universe, right?
Just because the universe isvast and miraculous and amazing
(21:56):
and sometimes seems impersonaldoesn't actually mean that we
can't offer love to it, becauseI also feel that it's very
sentient and intelligent inresponse to the energy that
we're putting out, and so thisidea of really finding that
connection, which we might alsocall our spiritual connection,
(22:17):
and whatever beliefs we haveabout energy and higher power
and all of those things, it isour true wealth.
Nobody can take that from us.
Nobody can tell you what tobelieve about it.
Nobody can take away your faith, your heart, the magic.
They can't tell you that anexperience that you're having,
that resonates in your heart andfeels magical to you isn't true
(22:40):
because they're not having thesame experience or the same
intuition.
That's all you.
It's part of your heart magic,it's part of what's inside of
you and part of your unique wayof entreating with the universe
and entreating with life andentreating with spirit and your
heart and soul and all that istranspersonal and transcendent.
(23:01):
That is all you and at the endof the day, no matter what else
like, nobody gets to take thataway.
It is something in you that isyour sacred birthright to
explore and to grow in and tostruggle with and overcome and
gain new knowledge and wisdom of, to learn something new and say
(23:23):
, wow, all these things Ithought held true for me don't
anymore, and so I'm going tostay open and curious and see
well, how does it all reallywork?
That is all your sacredbirthright and your gateway and
doorway to your magic andworking with the magical,
amazing being of light that youare.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's podcast episode.
(23:46):
It was delightful to get toshare this passage with you and
I appreciate your openness andletting me do something
different.
I will be back next week withmore psychology, spirituality,
storytelling and heart wisdom.
In the meantime, have abeautiful week and, as always,
be well, be love, be you and bemagic.
Intro/Outro (24:17):
You've been listening to your Heart Magic
with dr bethan kapansky righttune in next week for a new
episode to support and empoweryour light.
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