May 29, 2025 • 26 mins
What happens when you follow your heart's calling but the path looks nothing like you expected? Dr. BethAnn Kapansky-Wright takes us deep into the wilderness of uncertainty where dreams and visions truly take form.
Drawing from her personal journey that began on Memorial Day 2016, Dr. Bethann shares the soul-shifting decision to leave her established psychology practice in Alaska and relocate to Kauai following her brother's passing. This wasn't merely a change of scenery but a radical leap of faith that challenged her expectations about how spiritual callings should unfold.
"I expected specifics, concrete, a blueprint," she reveals, describing the frustration of seeking stability while simultaneously craving expansion. Instead of receiving clear instructions for her new life path, she discovered something far more valuable—that the questions, confusion, and surrendering were essential components of the vision itself.
For anyone struggling with dreams that aren't manifesting as planned or visions that seem stuck in limbo, this episode offers profound wisdom about divine timing and the magic that awaits when we release our grip on certainty. The most transformative journeys often require us to trust the process and find wonder in not knowing exactly where we're going to land.
Ready to transform your relationship with uncertainty? Listen now and discover how to pull your own parachute cord when life's biggest leaps leave you feeling suspended between worlds.
--
Your Heart Magic is a space where heart wisdom, spirituality, and psychology meet. Enjoy episodes centered on mental health, spirituality, personal growth, healing, and well-being. Featured as one of the best Heart Energy and Akashic Records Podcasts in 2024 by PlayerFM and Globally Ranked in the top 5% in Listen Notes.
Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wright is a Licensed Psychologist and Spiritual Educator. She is the author of Small Pearls Big Wisdom, the Award-Winning Lamentations of the Sea, its sequels, and several books of poetry. A psychologist with a mystic mind, she weaves perspectives from both worlds to offer holistic wisdom.
FIND DR. BETHANNE ONLINE:
BOOKS- www.bethannekw.com/books
FACEBOOK - www.facebook.com/drbethannekw
INSTAGRAM - www.instagram.com/dr.bethannekw
WEBSITE - www.bethannekw.com
CONTACT FORM - www.bethannekw.com/contact
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro/Outro Music (00:13):
Aloha and welcome to your Heart Magic, an
illuminating space wherepsychology, spirituality and
heart wisdom meet.
Here's your host, dr BethannKapansky-Wright.
Author, psychologist andspiritual educator.
Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wri (00:32):
Aloha everybody.
Welcome to your Heart Magic.
This is Dr BethannKapansky-Wright, and today we
are talking about dreams andvisions and what happens when
you are following your dreamsand trying to create a bigger
vision for your life and it'sjust not quite going the way
(00:54):
that you want it to.
How do we interpret that andwork with that and navigate that
?
And this episode was inspiredbecause of the time of the year.
It is Memorial Day today.
As I'm making this.
This episode will be droppingthis week and for me, memorial
Day is this really specialholiday that has nothing to do
(01:15):
with the actual meaning ofMemorial Day and everything to
do with my own journey and thefact that it is the anniversary
of making this big decision backin 2016 that I was going to
close my private practice inAnchorage, alaska, and move to
the island of Kauai.
I have told this story before onthe podcast, but if you've
(01:38):
never heard it or you don'tremember it, really quick recap
2016 is the year that I lost mybrother Brent.
That was in January of thatyear and I've talked a lot about
over those first initial fewmonths of grief.
Not only was I in the heart andthe thick of my grief journey.
But I could feel somethingchanging in me and I knew enough
(02:02):
at the time to know that Iwasn't going back to the Beth
Ann, that I was before this hugeloss in my life, that I had
just been through something thatwould be life-changing, and I
had a sense, like this vision,that there was something
hatching or being born within me.
It was really.
It's hard to put into words.
(02:22):
I wrote about it a lot inLamentations of the Sea at the
time and tried to capture thatfelt sense into language.
But part of what came out ofthat time for me was this desire
to live braver and to be bolderand to not wait for life to
happen to me, but make thingshappen in my life.
(02:44):
And I really started toquestion stories.
I was telling myself thingsthat might be holding me back.
It gave me a lot of courage tomake me want to take a leap of
faith in life sooner rather thanlater.
So this idea of moving to theisland of Kauai which is
something that I'd kicked aroundwith my husband at the time but
(03:04):
that was like five or six yearsout it really got fast
forwarded and I had this day ofMemorial Day of 2016, that it
was just this beautiful,wonderful day and I bought all
these flowers and did a lot ofart and I just had a lot of
space to be me and to becreative.
And I'd really been feelingstuck and a rut in my life in
(03:27):
Alaska for a while, and that wasmore than just losing Brent.
There's many pieces to that.
My soul had been trying to urgeme to move for a while, I think
, and was really trying to growand I just did not have space
for it and that current versionof Bethann.
And so the next day, as I gotinto my car and I was driving
(03:51):
for the office, I felt like Iwas on repeat.
I was so ready for change andit was coming from this very
deep, primal, soulful spacewithin me and, I think, from
this very cosmic, higher self,wiser self space outside of me.
And I remember thinking I am notgoing to be doing this this
time.
Next year I will not be in mycar, going to the office,
(04:13):
feeling stuck and feeling likeI'm in the movie Groundhog Day
and just repeating the samethings.
I'm going to figure this out,like I'm gonna make this happen.
And I just remember making thisdecision like let's do this
move, let's do this thing, andstarting those dominoes falling
by saying I will not be here ayear from now.
(04:35):
And I've told this story quitea bit, that I did not manifest
the move in 52 weeks, but I didmanifest it in 56 weeks and one
year and one month later wefound ourselves moving to the
island of Kauai.
So that's my history of MemorialDay, and every year I always
(04:55):
take a little bit of time toreflect on that as this personal
, meaningful point in my lifethat helps me check back in with
well, how have things unfoldedsince making this decision?
And every year I will thinkabout well, where are things at
now?
Where are things at now?
Some years I might ask myselfis it looking how you thought it
(05:17):
would?
What if it's not?
How would 2016, beth Ann feelas she could pop forward and see
where life is at now?
What might this version of BethAnn say if I could travel back
to my younger self and give hera message?
So it just is an interestingreflection point for me, and I
always talk about somethinghaving to do with our dreams,
(05:38):
our heart visions, on thepodcast to celebrate this day, I
want to share a story todaythat I originally wrote on my
blog.
I later scaled it down andturned it into a writing for my
latest book, small Pearls, bigWisdom, which is available
online on Barnes and Noble andAmazon and other major online
(06:00):
retailers.
But the original version thatI'm sharing today came from my
blog and I'm going to read it insections and pause for a
reflection in between to exploremore of the topic of dreams and
visions.
And how do we stay with avision when it doesn't look how
we thought it would.
(06:39):
So this is called Parachutescall to share that with the
world.
And how best do I direct myfocus at this time in order to
keep building my dreams ofwriting, speaking and teaching?
I sense revelation and renewedvision are getting closer, but
they're not quite here, andsomething I've definitely
learned during my time on Kauaiis you can't force a vision
(07:00):
before its time.
It is the act of sorting andgrappling with our questions
which helps clear our mind andheart to set the stage for when
the bigger picture is ready tocome into the light.
It's coming, it's close.
I can feel it through instinct,intuition, a felt sense,
(07:21):
messages from spirit, signs andsynchronicities, a resonance in
my heart that says trust thetiming, know it's getting closer
and when it arrives, you willbe asked to take a leap of faith
.
I don't know exactly what it is, but something else I've
learned during my time on thisisland is that you can't control
(07:43):
what vision you'll receive.
Could be a new book or project.
Could be a new collaborationopportunity.
Could be a newfound sense ofpurpose.
Could be bringing somethingthat feels dead in the water
back to life.
Only time will tell.
Something that feels dead inthe water back to life, only
(08:03):
time will tell.
I have come to learn on thisbeautiful, terrifying, electric,
kawaii journey of reinventionthat I can trust whatever shows
up.
I've come to learn that eachpiece, each insight, each tiny
epiphany and giant revelation isall leading me somewhere.
Each losing of self, eachnewfound truth, each contraction
and expansion is all leading mesomewhere.
(08:26):
Each doodling, each wandering,each confusing and musing it is
all leading me somewhere.
I wrote that about three yearssince I had moved over here, so
it was a few years ago now, andat the time I was learning so
much about trying to form abigger vision for my life and I
(08:48):
was winging it sometimes, andfollowing these things in my
heart.
I knew that at the core of thisvision that I had purpose
teaching about heart wisdom,though it took me forever just
to ground that language andrealize that that was a calling
of mine to teach people how tolisten to their hearts and how
to distinguish that wisdom andhow to come into their hearts
(09:11):
and learn the voice of theirsoul and learn the voice of
their inner self.
I knew that being apsychologist was still a part of
it, but more so that it was notso much one-on-one work at that
point in time but more to dowith writing and teaching and
speaking.
And I knew that my spiritualconnection and my intuition and
my creativity, that all thosethings that lit my heart up,
(09:34):
were all part of some biggervision and purpose for my life,
of some bigger vision andpurpose for my life.
And I'd been searching for itso hard, sometimes so hard, that
I spent a lot of time gettingin the way of myself and
doubting myself and questioningmyself and looking so hard for
what was right before me.
And what was right before mewas just the next piece.
And that's one of the mostfundamental things visions that
(09:57):
I've learned is that we oftenreceive them piece by piece and
you can't force them.
You cannot force a biggerpicture of a life purpose or a
life vision, whether that isyour big, huge life purpose and
vision, or whether it's just avision and purpose for right now
, something that renews yourheart and your sense of being in
(10:17):
the world.
You cannot force it before it'stime, heart and your sense of
being in the world.
You cannot force it before it'stime.
You can be open to it, you cancall it in, you can put your
intention out there and sayhello, universe, here I am, I am
searching for this, I am ready,like, hit me, I am ready for it
, bring it into my heart.
You can do all of that toprepare yourself for it, but you
(10:39):
can't make it happen.
And I've learned that if we tryand force it and make it happen
and try and ground it or putlanguage to it or interpret it,
that it's a little bit liketaking all these pieces of a
puzzle and putting them together, except we don't know what the
puzzle is and we're probablymissing a few of the pieces.
So we try and force things tofit that might not really fit
(11:02):
and we interrupt ourselves andinterrupt the process and the
whole point of learning to dancewith spirit and dance with the
universe and be in relationshipwith life and let the vision
show itself to us just as muchas we commit to following the
vision.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
It's a relationship that isalive and there's synergy to it
(11:25):
and there's a lot of room forcreative alchemy in the mix.
So I was in the thick of thoselessons and having to learn that
the best thing that we can dois open our heart and trust what
shows up and know that if weare searching for a vision,
searching for an intention,looking for a purpose to ground
ourselves in, and we're puttingit out there like we are having
(11:48):
our conversations with ourspiritual connection, we're in
our hearts and we are sayinghelp me see my purpose right now
, help me make meaning of this,help me understand this that
we're not going to miss it, thatwe're not going to somehow pass
by it and not realize that itwas right there, that we are
(12:08):
going to be presented with itpiece by piece and divine timing
and order and end the timingand order that's right for us
and our journeys and the thingsthat need to line up.
So, moving on with my reading,back to parachutes, when I first
arrived here almost three yearsago, I didn't understand I
(12:28):
could trust the alchemy of myprocess.
I didn't realize all the smallpieces, creative musings and
questions of my heart were allworking together to guide my
steps.
I expected specifics, concrete,a blueprint.
I expected a strong sense ofvision would show up,
(12:49):
opportunity would knock and Iwould be filled with a sense of
spiritual purpose and vigor.
Then I'd get to work buildingthis new thing that would set me
on my new path.
What I found instead is that thepath isn't linear.
It's been a spiral of change,healing, manifestation,
confusion, constant calibrationand divine force that keeps
(13:10):
pulling me deeper into the heartof the universe, asking me to
surrender and trust on greaterlevels.
Though I haven't always likedit, I've come to respect the
journey and I've come to see howterribly boring it would have
been if my original expectationswere met.
Sure, I have to admit there issome part of me that sees how
(13:31):
the certitude and early successwould have been wonderfully
satisfying.
Yet I've come to appreciate thewild ride life has taken me on,
where I don't know what'saround the bend, where I create
each step on the path as I goand where I have acres of space
to roam the cosmos of my heartin search of my ongoing
(13:52):
questions of self.
It is a gift to be able to askthe questions, a gift that I
didn't have space for back inthe structure of my old Alaskan
life.
I had stability, but I didn'thave much room for expansion.
Then I moved to Kauai so Icould have room for expansion,
and I spent the first coupleyears frustrated that I hadn't
(14:15):
yet created a sense of stability.
I kept expecting to land, toget my feet firmly under the, to
create a new vehicle for mywork, prosperity and purpose.
Instead, transition,transformation and trust are the
themes of the last few years.
And something else I've learnedin this time is if we are
(14:35):
seeking a life of juicy,intuition, wild expansion and
the creative freedom to fullyexpress and live the dreams in
our heart, then we are going tohave to learn to find peace in
the middle of flux and flow.
Asking the questions andfinding the courage to live the
(14:55):
questions is part of a vision.
It's part of what we're meantto learn as we dive into the
heart of whatever vision spirithas for our life.
Our higher self has for ourlife.
Our soul blueprint holds for usthe questions and grappling
with the questions and searchingfor the answers is part of that
(15:18):
vision.
It's part of how we learn andhow we grow.
It's often part of where wemight find truly delightful
discovery that gives us theseclues and insights into our soul
path and helps us find thisresonance of self and sense of
not just purpose but a sense ofcertainty that we are on the
right path.
(15:39):
Questions are a part of thevision and it's a gift when we
have space in our life to askthe questions.
It's also a gift to know whatquestions to ask, and I wrote a
line in there that I didn't havespace in my old Alaskan life to
live my questions.
But as I was reading it today,I had the thought I'm not sure I
knew what questions to ask, andI think that was part of what
(16:03):
this move was for me, outside ofKauai being such a different
atmosphere than Alaska and Ispent almost 40 years in Alaska,
so I had a lot of old, familiarruts and grooves and things
that really anchored me thereand I needed to, I think, pop
myself out of that and shake uplife so much that I was out of
(16:25):
my element and in a morevulnerable place and allowed to
see things differently.
And it was so funny because Ileft all this security and
stability and some of it lookedreally foolish on paper and a
move that really interruptedwhat I'd been creating in this
middle stream of my life and waslike, hey, you're going to
(16:46):
start over and you're going tobuild life back up again and
start from the ground up.
And then I was out of sortsbecause I didn't feel stable and
I was really missing some ofthe things that anchored me, and
it was in that space of thenebula and feeling so uncertain
that I had the most growth and Ireally learned you're not meant
to feel certain right now.
(17:07):
You're meant to continuallysurrender and you're not meant
to know exactly what you'll bedoing six months from now or how
life is going to look.
You're meant to follow thispath and to have the space and
the freedom to explore that, andthat time was such a gift
because it was a season.
My life is no longer in thatplace.
I still don't know exactly howthings might look six months or
(17:29):
a year from now, but that's truefor any of us, right?
Anything could happen in life.
There's all these wild cardsthat we might get dealt that we
didn't see coming, but I do havea sense of what might be
happening in my work and whereI'm living, and there are some
things in life now that are muchmore set than they were back
then, and so it was a gift tohave all this space and a gift
(17:50):
to live the questions.
Living those questions are ahuge part of our sense of
purpose and the vision we oftenfind so many things that help us
build a foundation of soul,knowledge that we came here to
discover and to live, and itwould be so boring if we were to
say, okay, I did it, I took myleap of faith and now can I get
(18:13):
my instructions?
Tell me exactly how it's goingto look?
I did the big hard thing.
I leapt.
I didn't know where I was goingto land, I did it.
Can I have my blue ribbon andmy blueprint please?
And it doesn't work like that.
I've actually done quite a fewAkashic readings for people that
will sometimes come, and theyare trying to manifest a bigger
(18:33):
vision.
For example, they might say Ifeel like I'm supposed to be
doing more right now with mywork and I'm really good at
maybe spiritually coachingpeople, but I don't know exactly
how to go about doing that.
I don't know how to create that.
Or maybe they have somebeautiful, bold idea that hasn't
been done and they don't knowhow to take some of their
(18:56):
creative gifts and talents andground that and channel that
into, perhaps, an offering thatthey maybe feel called or like
they're supposed to be doing.
And so often when I'm insomebody's Akashic records, one
of the pieces of guidance thatI'll get is that you're meant to
create this, you are on theright track, but you're meant to
(19:17):
call it into you and to get tofigure out the steps as you go.
And if we were to give you thisstep-by-step instruction right
now and say here's what you'regoing to call yourself, here's
how you're going to do it andhere's the next step that you
need to take, like yeah, thatwould feel really good, it would
sure make it easier right, talkabout having certainty.
But you would be so diligentthat you would do exactly what
(19:44):
you thought it was supposed tobe, and you would have this
fixed vision, this fixed ideathen, of what your path was
supposed to look like.
And you would be this reallydiligent student and you would
do it and you would miss thewild, juicy expansion of dancing
with life and learning allthese insights that are actually
going to better serve you andhelp you figure out how to
(20:05):
create this thing.
You'd miss the lessons in trustand surrender.
You'd miss the spiritual growth.
Perhaps you would miss spiritualgifts and opportunities to
travel closer to the heart ofthe universe and to be closer to
your heart and spiritualconnection.
You would trade certainty andthe sense of knowledge.
This is what I'm supposed to do.
(20:26):
You would exchange that and youwould give up the time that
you're going to spend travelingin the wild unknown.
And that's where the gifts are,that's where the magic is,
that's where the excitement is.
It is on that edge of knowingand not knowing and having to
seek for it.
That is where you're going tolose yourself and fall off the
(20:46):
edge of yourself and questionyourself is where you're going
to lose yourself and fall offthe edge of yourself and
question yourself.
And you're going to find oh,I've been traveling in the right
path all along, I just couldn'tsee it.
And you will miss that joyfuladventure and the sense of
wonder that will come from that,and we don't want that for you.
There is no fun in that there'sno life in that, there's no
magic in that.
So choose that path, becausethat is how you are going to get
(21:11):
, to come closer to the heart ofthe universe, the heart of your
soul, the heart of spirit.
It's going to bring you intoyour heart wisdom and it's going
to require you to live a muchmore radical path of
authenticity because you're notgoing to know.
You're going to have to trustand trust yourself and trust
your path and trust your soul.
(21:32):
We want that for you.
So you're not gonna get theblueprint, but you will get
whatever peace you need for thismoment so you can keep
following your path and keepsurrendering to trust.
All right, finishing this off,part three of parachutes.
The closer we travel to andwith the heart of the universe,
(21:56):
the more we will be asked tokeep leaping.
Certainty doesn't leave a lotof room for spiritual growth.
Leaps of faith are the only way.
We are pushed so far out of ourcomfort zone that we are forced
to expand beyond our previousideas and understandings and
seek higher perspective and newways of being.
(22:16):
During the leap, we likelywon't know where we are going.
We won't know quite where we'llbe landing.
Yet there is potential here forus to surrender the need to
know in favor of embracing thesoulful growth that comes from
the process.
We will be asked to trust theprocess in bigger and bigger
ways, and though we may feel weare free falling through the
(22:39):
cosmos, I have learned throughexperience the more we learn to
trust the process, the more werealize we have a parachute on
our back the entire time,guiding us safely into new
terrain.
All we have to do is pull thecord.
We pull the cord each time westop focusing on the feeling we
(22:59):
are free-falling through air andinstead choose to turn inwards.
To turn inwards, we pull thecord when we tune into our
hearts, our intuition, ourspiritual connection, our
instincts, our inner knowing andour feelings.
We pull the cord when we openthe eyes of our heart to the
truth that the eyes of our mindcan't always see.
We are always supported, guidedand held.
(23:22):
The parachute is our truth.
The free fall is just anillusion.
It is the journey throughunknown space that is our
gateway to knowledge and ourinitiation to understanding our
divinity and our uniquerelationship with the magic of
the mysteries.
It is through thatunderstanding that we are then
driven to create, build andmanifest change in our material
(23:46):
world that aligns with the truthof our soul In an
effort-oriented, results-focused, product-driven society.
I am coming to see we have itall backwards.
First we receive the vision andnew knowledge through
undergoing the process.
Then we create, align changefrom this space of new knowledge
(24:08):
.
What might life look like if weknew we were always carried?
What might life look like if wefocused on the parachute and
not the fall?
I think a lot more space wouldopen up for each of us Space to
trust, space to be curious,space to recognize the subtle
(24:28):
ways we try and control theoutcome, space to seed our need
to know for a more magical,soul-quenching life of mystery
and wonder.
There's not a lot of wonderfound in certitude.
There's security, there is asense of predictability, and
(24:50):
there are spaces in our lifewhere it's nice to have a sense
of certainty and predictability,but when it truly comes to the
path of our heart andmanifesting our dreams and our
visions and the most soulfulparts of us that require us to
trust in the process and trustin something beyond just our own
(25:10):
little efforts and ourego-driven stuff and instead
open up to our heart connection,our spiritual connection, to
dancing with the cosmos and theuniverse and being a
co-participant in this creativelife force and life flow.
When it comes to all of that,no risk, no magic.
(25:31):
There is no wonder found incertitude.
Wonder is found on that wildcreative edge where we allow
ourselves to step off the edgeof what we knew so that we can
create a bigger pathway ofexpansion, magic, authenticity
and daring to manifest thevisions and dreams placed in our
(25:53):
hearts.
Thank you so much for joining mein this episode of your Heart
Magic.
I will be back next week and wewill be talking about a topic
related to my favorite thingspsychology, spirituality,
creativity, heart, wisdom andstorytelling.
In the meantime, have abeautiful week and, as always,
(26:14):
be well, be love, be you and bemagic.
Intro/Outro Music (26:23):
You've been listening to your Heart Magic
with Dr Bethann Kapansky-Wright.
Tune in next week for a newepisode to support and empower
your light.
Aloha and welcome to your Heart Magic, an
illuminating space wherepsychology, spirituality and
heart wisdom meet.
Here's your host, dr BethannKapansky-Wright.
Author, psychologist andspiritual educator.
Dr. BethAnne Kapansky Wri (00:32):
Aloha everybody.
Welcome to your Heart Magic.
This is Dr BethannKapansky-Wright, and today we
are talking about dreams andvisions and what happens when
you are following your dreamsand trying to create a bigger
vision for your life and it'sjust not quite going the way
(00:54):
that you want it to.
How do we interpret that andwork with that and navigate that
?
And this episode was inspiredbecause of the time of the year.
It is Memorial Day today.
As I'm making this.
This episode will be droppingthis week and for me, memorial
Day is this really specialholiday that has nothing to do
(01:15):
with the actual meaning ofMemorial Day and everything to
do with my own journey and thefact that it is the anniversary
of making this big decision backin 2016 that I was going to
close my private practice inAnchorage, alaska, and move to
the island of Kauai.
I have told this story before onthe podcast, but if you've
(01:38):
never heard it or you don'tremember it, really quick recap
2016 is the year that I lost mybrother Brent.
That was in January of thatyear and I've talked a lot about
over those first initial fewmonths of grief.
Not only was I in the heart andthe thick of my grief journey.
But I could feel somethingchanging in me and I knew enough
(02:02):
at the time to know that Iwasn't going back to the Beth
Ann, that I was before this hugeloss in my life, that I had
just been through something thatwould be life-changing, and I
had a sense, like this vision,that there was something
hatching or being born within me.
It was really.
It's hard to put into words.
(02:22):
I wrote about it a lot inLamentations of the Sea at the
time and tried to capture thatfelt sense into language.
But part of what came out ofthat time for me was this desire
to live braver and to be bolderand to not wait for life to
happen to me, but make thingshappen in my life.
(02:44):
And I really started toquestion stories.
I was telling myself thingsthat might be holding me back.
It gave me a lot of courage tomake me want to take a leap of
faith in life sooner rather thanlater.
So this idea of moving to theisland of Kauai which is
something that I'd kicked aroundwith my husband at the time but
(03:04):
that was like five or six yearsout it really got fast
forwarded and I had this day ofMemorial Day of 2016, that it
was just this beautiful,wonderful day and I bought all
these flowers and did a lot ofart and I just had a lot of
space to be me and to becreative.
And I'd really been feelingstuck and a rut in my life in
(03:27):
Alaska for a while, and that wasmore than just losing Brent.
There's many pieces to that.
My soul had been trying to urgeme to move for a while, I think
, and was really trying to growand I just did not have space
for it and that current versionof Bethann.
And so the next day, as I gotinto my car and I was driving
(03:51):
for the office, I felt like Iwas on repeat.
I was so ready for change andit was coming from this very
deep, primal, soulful spacewithin me and, I think, from
this very cosmic, higher self,wiser self space outside of me.
And I remember thinking I am notgoing to be doing this this
time.
Next year I will not be in mycar, going to the office,
(04:13):
feeling stuck and feeling likeI'm in the movie Groundhog Day
and just repeating the samethings.
I'm going to figure this out,like I'm gonna make this happen.
And I just remember making thisdecision like let's do this
move, let's do this thing, andstarting those dominoes falling
by saying I will not be here ayear from now.
(04:35):
And I've told this story quitea bit, that I did not manifest
the move in 52 weeks, but I didmanifest it in 56 weeks and one
year and one month later wefound ourselves moving to the
island of Kauai.
So that's my history of MemorialDay, and every year I always
(04:55):
take a little bit of time toreflect on that as this personal
, meaningful point in my lifethat helps me check back in with
well, how have things unfoldedsince making this decision?
And every year I will thinkabout well, where are things at
now?
Where are things at now?
Some years I might ask myselfis it looking how you thought it
(05:17):
would?
What if it's not?
How would 2016, beth Ann feelas she could pop forward and see
where life is at now?
What might this version of BethAnn say if I could travel back
to my younger self and give hera message?
So it just is an interestingreflection point for me, and I
always talk about somethinghaving to do with our dreams,
(05:38):
our heart visions, on thepodcast to celebrate this day, I
want to share a story todaythat I originally wrote on my
blog.
I later scaled it down andturned it into a writing for my
latest book, small Pearls, bigWisdom, which is available
online on Barnes and Noble andAmazon and other major online
(06:00):
retailers.
But the original version thatI'm sharing today came from my
blog and I'm going to read it insections and pause for a
reflection in between to exploremore of the topic of dreams and
visions.
And how do we stay with avision when it doesn't look how
we thought it would.
(06:39):
So this is called Parachutescall to share that with the
world.
And how best do I direct myfocus at this time in order to
keep building my dreams ofwriting, speaking and teaching?
I sense revelation and renewedvision are getting closer, but
they're not quite here, andsomething I've definitely
learned during my time on Kauaiis you can't force a vision
(07:00):
before its time.
It is the act of sorting andgrappling with our questions
which helps clear our mind andheart to set the stage for when
the bigger picture is ready tocome into the light.
It's coming, it's close.
I can feel it through instinct,intuition, a felt sense,
(07:21):
messages from spirit, signs andsynchronicities, a resonance in
my heart that says trust thetiming, know it's getting closer
and when it arrives, you willbe asked to take a leap of faith
.
I don't know exactly what it is, but something else I've
learned during my time on thisisland is that you can't control
(07:43):
what vision you'll receive.
Could be a new book or project.
Could be a new collaborationopportunity.
Could be a newfound sense ofpurpose.
Could be bringing somethingthat feels dead in the water
back to life.
Only time will tell.
Something that feels dead inthe water back to life, only
(08:03):
time will tell.
I have come to learn on thisbeautiful, terrifying, electric,
kawaii journey of reinventionthat I can trust whatever shows
up.
I've come to learn that eachpiece, each insight, each tiny
epiphany and giant revelation isall leading me somewhere.
Each losing of self, eachnewfound truth, each contraction
and expansion is all leading mesomewhere.
(08:26):
Each doodling, each wandering,each confusing and musing it is
all leading me somewhere.
I wrote that about three yearssince I had moved over here, so
it was a few years ago now, andat the time I was learning so
much about trying to form abigger vision for my life and I
(08:48):
was winging it sometimes, andfollowing these things in my
heart.
I knew that at the core of thisvision that I had purpose
teaching about heart wisdom,though it took me forever just
to ground that language andrealize that that was a calling
of mine to teach people how tolisten to their hearts and how
to distinguish that wisdom andhow to come into their hearts
(09:11):
and learn the voice of theirsoul and learn the voice of
their inner self.
I knew that being apsychologist was still a part of
it, but more so that it was notso much one-on-one work at that
point in time but more to dowith writing and teaching and
speaking.
And I knew that my spiritualconnection and my intuition and
my creativity, that all thosethings that lit my heart up,
(09:34):
were all part of some biggervision and purpose for my life,
of some bigger vision andpurpose for my life.
And I'd been searching for itso hard, sometimes so hard, that
I spent a lot of time gettingin the way of myself and
doubting myself and questioningmyself and looking so hard for
what was right before me.
And what was right before mewas just the next piece.
And that's one of the mostfundamental things visions that
(09:57):
I've learned is that we oftenreceive them piece by piece and
you can't force them.
You cannot force a biggerpicture of a life purpose or a
life vision, whether that isyour big, huge life purpose and
vision, or whether it's just avision and purpose for right now
, something that renews yourheart and your sense of being in
(10:17):
the world.
You cannot force it before it'stime, heart and your sense of
being in the world.
You cannot force it before it'stime.
You can be open to it, you cancall it in, you can put your
intention out there and sayhello, universe, here I am, I am
searching for this, I am ready,like, hit me, I am ready for it
, bring it into my heart.
You can do all of that toprepare yourself for it, but you
(10:39):
can't make it happen.
And I've learned that if we tryand force it and make it happen
and try and ground it or putlanguage to it or interpret it,
that it's a little bit liketaking all these pieces of a
puzzle and putting them together, except we don't know what the
puzzle is and we're probablymissing a few of the pieces.
So we try and force things tofit that might not really fit
(11:02):
and we interrupt ourselves andinterrupt the process and the
whole point of learning to dancewith spirit and dance with the
universe and be in relationshipwith life and let the vision
show itself to us just as muchas we commit to following the
vision.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
It's a relationship that isalive and there's synergy to it
(11:25):
and there's a lot of room forcreative alchemy in the mix.
So I was in the thick of thoselessons and having to learn that
the best thing that we can dois open our heart and trust what
shows up and know that if weare searching for a vision,
searching for an intention,looking for a purpose to ground
ourselves in, and we're puttingit out there like we are having
(11:48):
our conversations with ourspiritual connection, we're in
our hearts and we are sayinghelp me see my purpose right now
, help me make meaning of this,help me understand this that
we're not going to miss it, thatwe're not going to somehow pass
by it and not realize that itwas right there, that we are
(12:08):
going to be presented with itpiece by piece and divine timing
and order and end the timingand order that's right for us
and our journeys and the thingsthat need to line up.
So, moving on with my reading,back to parachutes, when I first
arrived here almost three yearsago, I didn't understand I
(12:28):
could trust the alchemy of myprocess.
I didn't realize all the smallpieces, creative musings and
questions of my heart were allworking together to guide my
steps.
I expected specifics, concrete,a blueprint.
I expected a strong sense ofvision would show up,
(12:49):
opportunity would knock and Iwould be filled with a sense of
spiritual purpose and vigor.
Then I'd get to work buildingthis new thing that would set me
on my new path.
What I found instead is that thepath isn't linear.
It's been a spiral of change,healing, manifestation,
confusion, constant calibrationand divine force that keeps
(13:10):
pulling me deeper into the heartof the universe, asking me to
surrender and trust on greaterlevels.
Though I haven't always likedit, I've come to respect the
journey and I've come to see howterribly boring it would have
been if my original expectationswere met.
Sure, I have to admit there issome part of me that sees how
(13:31):
the certitude and early successwould have been wonderfully
satisfying.
Yet I've come to appreciate thewild ride life has taken me on,
where I don't know what'saround the bend, where I create
each step on the path as I goand where I have acres of space
to roam the cosmos of my heartin search of my ongoing
(13:52):
questions of self.
It is a gift to be able to askthe questions, a gift that I
didn't have space for back inthe structure of my old Alaskan
life.
I had stability, but I didn'thave much room for expansion.
Then I moved to Kauai so Icould have room for expansion,
and I spent the first coupleyears frustrated that I hadn't
(14:15):
yet created a sense of stability.
I kept expecting to land, toget my feet firmly under the, to
create a new vehicle for mywork, prosperity and purpose.
Instead, transition,transformation and trust are the
themes of the last few years.
And something else I've learnedin this time is if we are
(14:35):
seeking a life of juicy,intuition, wild expansion and
the creative freedom to fullyexpress and live the dreams in
our heart, then we are going tohave to learn to find peace in
the middle of flux and flow.
Asking the questions andfinding the courage to live the
(14:55):
questions is part of a vision.
It's part of what we're meantto learn as we dive into the
heart of whatever vision spirithas for our life.
Our higher self has for ourlife.
Our soul blueprint holds for usthe questions and grappling
with the questions and searchingfor the answers is part of that
(15:18):
vision.
It's part of how we learn andhow we grow.
It's often part of where wemight find truly delightful
discovery that gives us theseclues and insights into our soul
path and helps us find thisresonance of self and sense of
not just purpose but a sense ofcertainty that we are on the
right path.
(15:39):
Questions are a part of thevision and it's a gift when we
have space in our life to askthe questions.
It's also a gift to know whatquestions to ask, and I wrote a
line in there that I didn't havespace in my old Alaskan life to
live my questions.
But as I was reading it today,I had the thought I'm not sure I
knew what questions to ask, andI think that was part of what
(16:03):
this move was for me, outside ofKauai being such a different
atmosphere than Alaska and Ispent almost 40 years in Alaska,
so I had a lot of old, familiarruts and grooves and things
that really anchored me thereand I needed to, I think, pop
myself out of that and shake uplife so much that I was out of
(16:25):
my element and in a morevulnerable place and allowed to
see things differently.
And it was so funny because Ileft all this security and
stability and some of it lookedreally foolish on paper and a
move that really interruptedwhat I'd been creating in this
middle stream of my life and waslike, hey, you're going to
(16:46):
start over and you're going tobuild life back up again and
start from the ground up.
And then I was out of sortsbecause I didn't feel stable and
I was really missing some ofthe things that anchored me, and
it was in that space of thenebula and feeling so uncertain
that I had the most growth and Ireally learned you're not meant
to feel certain right now.
(17:07):
You're meant to continuallysurrender and you're not meant
to know exactly what you'll bedoing six months from now or how
life is going to look.
You're meant to follow thispath and to have the space and
the freedom to explore that, andthat time was such a gift
because it was a season.
My life is no longer in thatplace.
I still don't know exactly howthings might look six months or
(17:29):
a year from now, but that's truefor any of us, right?
Anything could happen in life.
There's all these wild cardsthat we might get dealt that we
didn't see coming, but I do havea sense of what might be
happening in my work and whereI'm living, and there are some
things in life now that are muchmore set than they were back
then, and so it was a gift tohave all this space and a gift
(17:50):
to live the questions.
Living those questions are ahuge part of our sense of
purpose and the vision we oftenfind so many things that help us
build a foundation of soul,knowledge that we came here to
discover and to live, and itwould be so boring if we were to
say, okay, I did it, I took myleap of faith and now can I get
(18:13):
my instructions?
Tell me exactly how it's goingto look?
I did the big hard thing.
I leapt.
I didn't know where I was goingto land, I did it.
Can I have my blue ribbon andmy blueprint please?
And it doesn't work like that.
I've actually done quite a fewAkashic readings for people that
will sometimes come, and theyare trying to manifest a bigger
(18:33):
vision.
For example, they might say Ifeel like I'm supposed to be
doing more right now with mywork and I'm really good at
maybe spiritually coachingpeople, but I don't know exactly
how to go about doing that.
I don't know how to create that.
Or maybe they have somebeautiful, bold idea that hasn't
been done and they don't knowhow to take some of their
(18:56):
creative gifts and talents andground that and channel that
into, perhaps, an offering thatthey maybe feel called or like
they're supposed to be doing.
And so often when I'm insomebody's Akashic records, one
of the pieces of guidance thatI'll get is that you're meant to
create this, you are on theright track, but you're meant to
(19:17):
call it into you and to get tofigure out the steps as you go.
And if we were to give you thisstep-by-step instruction right
now and say here's what you'regoing to call yourself, here's
how you're going to do it andhere's the next step that you
need to take, like yeah, thatwould feel really good, it would
sure make it easier right, talkabout having certainty.
But you would be so diligentthat you would do exactly what
(19:44):
you thought it was supposed tobe, and you would have this
fixed vision, this fixed ideathen, of what your path was
supposed to look like.
And you would be this reallydiligent student and you would
do it and you would miss thewild, juicy expansion of dancing
with life and learning allthese insights that are actually
going to better serve you andhelp you figure out how to
(20:05):
create this thing.
You'd miss the lessons in trustand surrender.
You'd miss the spiritual growth.
Perhaps you would miss spiritualgifts and opportunities to
travel closer to the heart ofthe universe and to be closer to
your heart and spiritualconnection.
You would trade certainty andthe sense of knowledge.
This is what I'm supposed to do.
(20:26):
You would exchange that and youwould give up the time that
you're going to spend travelingin the wild unknown.
And that's where the gifts are,that's where the magic is,
that's where the excitement is.
It is on that edge of knowingand not knowing and having to
seek for it.
That is where you're going tolose yourself and fall off the
(20:46):
edge of yourself and questionyourself is where you're going
to lose yourself and fall offthe edge of yourself and
question yourself.
And you're going to find oh,I've been traveling in the right
path all along, I just couldn'tsee it.
And you will miss that joyfuladventure and the sense of
wonder that will come from that,and we don't want that for you.
There is no fun in that there'sno life in that, there's no
magic in that.
So choose that path, becausethat is how you are going to get
(21:11):
, to come closer to the heart ofthe universe, the heart of your
soul, the heart of spirit.
It's going to bring you intoyour heart wisdom and it's going
to require you to live a muchmore radical path of
authenticity because you're notgoing to know.
You're going to have to trustand trust yourself and trust
your path and trust your soul.
(21:32):
We want that for you.
So you're not gonna get theblueprint, but you will get
whatever peace you need for thismoment so you can keep
following your path and keepsurrendering to trust.
All right, finishing this off,part three of parachutes.
The closer we travel to andwith the heart of the universe,
(21:56):
the more we will be asked tokeep leaping.
Certainty doesn't leave a lotof room for spiritual growth.
Leaps of faith are the only way.
We are pushed so far out of ourcomfort zone that we are forced
to expand beyond our previousideas and understandings and
seek higher perspective and newways of being.
(22:16):
During the leap, we likelywon't know where we are going.
We won't know quite where we'llbe landing.
Yet there is potential here forus to surrender the need to
know in favor of embracing thesoulful growth that comes from
the process.
We will be asked to trust theprocess in bigger and bigger
ways, and though we may feel weare free falling through the
(22:39):
cosmos, I have learned throughexperience the more we learn to
trust the process, the more werealize we have a parachute on
our back the entire time,guiding us safely into new
terrain.
All we have to do is pull thecord.
We pull the cord each time westop focusing on the feeling we
(22:59):
are free-falling through air andinstead choose to turn inwards.
To turn inwards, we pull thecord when we tune into our
hearts, our intuition, ourspiritual connection, our
instincts, our inner knowing andour feelings.
We pull the cord when we openthe eyes of our heart to the
truth that the eyes of our mindcan't always see.
We are always supported, guidedand held.
(23:22):
The parachute is our truth.
The free fall is just anillusion.
It is the journey throughunknown space that is our
gateway to knowledge and ourinitiation to understanding our
divinity and our uniquerelationship with the magic of
the mysteries.
It is through thatunderstanding that we are then
driven to create, build andmanifest change in our material
(23:46):
world that aligns with the truthof our soul In an
effort-oriented, results-focused, product-driven society.
I am coming to see we have itall backwards.
First we receive the vision andnew knowledge through
undergoing the process.
Then we create, align changefrom this space of new knowledge
(24:08):
.
What might life look like if weknew we were always carried?
What might life look like if wefocused on the parachute and
not the fall?
I think a lot more space wouldopen up for each of us Space to
trust, space to be curious,space to recognize the subtle
(24:28):
ways we try and control theoutcome, space to seed our need
to know for a more magical,soul-quenching life of mystery
and wonder.
There's not a lot of wonderfound in certitude.
There's security, there is asense of predictability, and
(24:50):
there are spaces in our lifewhere it's nice to have a sense
of certainty and predictability,but when it truly comes to the
path of our heart andmanifesting our dreams and our
visions and the most soulfulparts of us that require us to
trust in the process and trustin something beyond just our own
(25:10):
little efforts and ourego-driven stuff and instead
open up to our heart connection,our spiritual connection, to
dancing with the cosmos and theuniverse and being a
co-participant in this creativelife force and life flow.
When it comes to all of that,no risk, no magic.
(25:31):
There is no wonder found incertitude.
Wonder is found on that wildcreative edge where we allow
ourselves to step off the edgeof what we knew so that we can
create a bigger pathway ofexpansion, magic, authenticity
and daring to manifest thevisions and dreams placed in our
(25:53):
hearts.
Thank you so much for joining mein this episode of your Heart
Magic.
I will be back next week and wewill be talking about a topic
related to my favorite thingspsychology, spirituality,
creativity, heart, wisdom andstorytelling.
In the meantime, have abeautiful week and, as always,
(26:14):
be well, be love, be you and bemagic.
Intro/Outro Music (26:23):
You've been listening to your Heart Magic
with Dr Bethann Kapansky-Wright.
Tune in next week for a newepisode to support and empower
your light.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.