April 24, 2025 • 19 mins
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We’re often taught that financial freedom is just a math problem: accumulate X amount of money, and then you’ll finally feel safe, secure, and free. I believe that this entire equation is based on a flawed assumption.
Financial freedom isn’t about how much you have. It’s about how you feel about what you have.
In this episode we'll discuss:
- Why chasing “enough” often leads to never feeling satisfied
- How money acts as a mirror for your beliefs around worth and abundance
- Why mindset, not math, determines how free you actually feel
- How to move from a scarcity mindset and hoarding to trust and expansion
If you’re ready to stop letting money control your decisions and start feeling free now — not someday — this episode is for you.
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Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?
Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/30-min-call-with-erin)
Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
Today we're going to be diving into a huge
misconception about financialfreedom that it's some number
that you finally get to arriveat.
You know the financial industryand other movements talk about
financial freedom as if it'sthis destination, and I don't
necessarily agree with this.
I have experienced this as wellas some of my clients.
You know on paper they arefinancially free, yet they don't
(00:23):
feel free in their bodies.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
(00:46):
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
So you want to take control ofyour finances and create a
system that feels easy, morelike freedom than restriction,
and you're feeling overwhelmed,like it's going to take so much
time, effort and energy.
My one-on-one Master your Moneycoaching program is going to
(01:07):
teach you how to align yourfinances with your goals,
simplify money management andovercome the fear and stress
that has been holding you back.
You don't need to spend hourson complicated strategies.
I'll show you how to create asimple, customized plan that
works for you, tailored to yourunique needs.
We'll focus on practicalstrategies and I'll show you how
to create a simple, customizedplan that works for you,
tailored to your unique needs.
We'll focus on practicalstrategies, and I'll also
(01:29):
empower you to overcome thelimiting beliefs and emotional
blocks that you have aroundmoney so that you can create a
relationship with money thatfeels calm, where you're in
control, and it feels peaceful.
Let's make financial clarityeasy, fun and not time consuming
, shall we?
Let's work together one-on-oneso you can start building the
(01:50):
life and business you deservewith clarity and confidence and
create true financial freedom.
So you know if I put myfinancial planner hat on back in
the day, you know I really usedto think that financial freedom
was a number you know.
So often when you're workingwith clients, you're thinking
about what is the number thatthey're going to need for
(02:13):
retirement to get them to beable to last, you know, until
they pass away, and in somecases, some people want to give
you know to their heirs ordifferent causes that they care
about.
So what's that amount of moneythat we're working towards?
To have financial freedom, likeit's like this goal that, okay,
if we get there, then we canfeel financially free, right, if
(02:35):
I've saved enough, if I'veinvested enough, then I'll
finally feel secure.
But even as my net worth grew, Istill had stress and fear
around money and, for sure,guilt around spending it.
And you know, as I ponder this,I think the answer is more so I
would probably say I probablyfelt even more stress and fear
(02:58):
as the number grew because Ifelt like that there was more at
risk to lose, because I feltlike that there was more at risk
to lose.
So I was afraid to spend,scared, you know, to lose what
we had built, and constantlyfelt like I needed to make more,
like it was never a proudsatisfaction, like I'm so happy
(03:20):
of how far we've come.
It was always coming from lackof not good enough, which I
think money is just a beautifulmirror for how we view ourselves
.
I felt a lot of lack overall inmy life and, for sure, around
myself and my value and what Ithought like my self-concept,
right, what I thought aboutmyself.
So, of course, my money wasgoing to feel like not enough,
(03:40):
because I felt like not enoughas a human and money is just an
amplifier.
You know, if you feel free andgenerous with it, with where you
are right now, when yougenerate more, you're going to
just do more of that.
If you feel scared and stressedand like you can't have enough,
don't have enough all of thethings.
(04:02):
When you generate more, you'lljust create more fear and stress
in your life.
You know I've shared onprevious podcasts.
You know I was at a certainnumber when I realized that
financial freedom isn't it isn'tabout how much money you have,
it's about how you feel, aboutwhat you have.
It is the perception that youare thinking about where you are
(04:22):
.
You know, I kept moving thegoalposts and then I realized
what I was doing and no matterwhen we hit that number, I would
just think that it would bebetter.
Right, this is what we do.
We fantasize It'll be better inthe future.
It'll be different, becauseit's very conditional thinking
If I do this, then I'll feelthis.
When I get to this, do this,then I'll feel this.
(04:47):
When I get to this, then I'llfeel this.
And it's a pattern and at thetime I mean I think there, the
awareness was there.
I don't know how in tune I waswith my body.
It definitely became crystalclear, apparently clear, when I
decided to take my time off,because then we were using some
of our investments, we werehaving fun and traveling, which
(05:08):
goes against everything you'resupposed to be doing.
You know, they say like theyears of 40s and 50s are your
accumulation years, and so it'sthis idea like you're not
supposed to be doing this, andso it was really.
When I took time off is when Ireally started to see all those
deep-seated beliefs and feelingsthat I had around money.
(05:31):
So if financial freedom isn'tabout numbers, what is it really
about?
I think it's about your beliefsabout money and how they
actually are shaping what you'recreating in your reality.
Right?
If you believe that you have tohustle to have enough, then
you'll always be chasing.
It won't matter what number youget to.
(05:54):
The next number is where you'llhave to go.
You'll just I mean how manytimes?
I don't know if this is truefor you, but for me I would have
a goal even before, like I'dprobably be like 70 or 80% there
, almost to my goal, and I'dalready be thinking of another
goal, right, I think this is thedopamine hit that we want from
our brains, that our brains dogive us right, but it steals us
(06:16):
from where we are right now.
So if you believe that money isunpredictable and scarce or out
of your control, then you willalways feel insecure, no matter
how much you have.
I used to do this, you know,like with our investments and
the stock market, and I think alot of us feel this way, because
(06:37):
we feel out of control, becausewe don't know what the market
is going to do.
You know we're putting oursecurity in the market versus us
, recognizing that we're theones that generate the money to
then put it in the market.
We're also the ones that arepaying attention to our
investments.
We're also the ones that arespeaking with our advisors and
(06:59):
getting strategy.
So, like we do have a lot ofcontrol, even when we're
investing in the market, I thinkit's also understanding how the
market works right and the truebelief that within us, right,
we are the ones generating themoney.
So if you start to shift intotrusting that money flows and
(07:19):
it's meant to flow right, it'snot about accumulating.
I think accumulating feels tome like a dam of water that's
been held up right.
Water is supposed to move.
Money is supposed to move whenwater is held up and it gets
stagnant and it gets bacteria init.
(07:40):
So, accumulation versusallocation right.
It's about allocating andallowing our money to flow in
and out just like the ocean,that you're always capable of
creating more and that wealth ismore than just numbers.
I think things were going tostart shifting quickly for you,
I think, also understanding thatfinancial freedom is a choice,
(08:01):
not a dollar amount, I think sooften we forget.
We have choice.
We have choice to believe rightnow that we are worthy.
We have choice right now tolove ourselves.
We have choice right now tocommit to being and doing what
we say we're going to do.
We have choice to be, enjoy themoment and be happy with where
(08:23):
we are, wherever we are rightFinancial position, spouse,
children, cars we drive, drivehouses Like it is a choice and I
think that when we can reallytruly look at it like I am
choosing to be miserable or I amchoosing to be happy, there is
power in that.
So some people you know, making$50,000 a year, like if I say
(08:45):
that it might be like oh my gosh, how could anybody do that?
But they might feel freebecause they've built a life
that aligns with their values.
I remember, you know, when I wasa financial planner, one of my
favorite clients.
He was a single guy.
He was at the time.
I mean, this was what 20 yearsago.
He was probably making like 30or 40,000 a year, but he
(09:06):
invested a lot of his, likepercentage of what he grossed,
and he was so curious aboutinvesting and growing his wealth
and he wasn't attached.
He was just like teach me allthe things, tell me how this
works.
You know, can I be saving more?
And not from a place of likenot enough, but like, oh, okay,
like, I see what you're, youknow the information that you're
(09:29):
giving me, like, okay, whereelse can we put this?
And then I had clients who hadmillions and we're checking it
daily, right, it's not, it's nota number.
I had another client, I think hewas making maybe around 500,000
around that at Dell and he wasliterally, when I say broke from
(09:50):
a, what I mean by that is hewas overspending and not
watching his money, right, andhe felt so stuck because he he
felt in his mind, right, hecouldn't cut back on work.
He definitely was a workaholicoverworker, he overspent, which
I think is actually a result ofsomething deeper, and he didn't
(10:13):
appreciate.
You know me kind of laying itout to him, like when we become
attached, like I was saying,like, dude, you're spending way
too much money, you know you'reoverspending.
And I think when we becomeattached to things he had a lot
of toys and I think one of mysuggestions was like, hey, are
you willing to sell some of yourstuff?
Right, you know you're makingpayments on this, you don't own
(10:36):
it outright and you'reoverspending Like, are you
willing to let go of some ofthis stuff?
He didn't necessarily like itin the beginning and I think we
have to ask ourselves you know,when we become attached to our
things, I don't really thinkthat that feels like financial
freedom.
I think one of the greatestgifts that I gave my family was
(10:56):
giving almost all of ourbelongings away.
We kept some stuff, but a lotof the stuff.
You know we gave it away whenwe moved to Maui and it really
gets you to see where you'reattached to a certain kind of
lifestyle, things in your house,things you've kept for so long,
and I'm not sitting hereadvocating, you know, sell your
house, sell all the things orget rid of all of the things,
(11:19):
like I did.
I'm just inviting you to see,maybe, where you are attached to
your money and physical things,like, where are you putting
your joy and your happiness onsomething outside of you versus
within you?
And when you get clarity aroundthat, does that actually feel
like true financial freedom toyou or does that feel more
(11:39):
restrictive?
So my definition of true freedommeans feeling secure and in
control, no matter what happens.
And when I say in control, Idon't mean controlling all the
things.
I mean I'm in control of what Ithink, I'm in control of what I
feel, I'm in control of what Ido, like those three things.
That's really all that we havecontrol over, right?
(12:00):
We're co-creating with theuniverse or God spirit source,
however you want to look at it.
Co-creating with the universeor God spirit source, however
you want to look at it.
And when we really start to lookat things and think about okay,
I get to choose what I want tothink about this situation.
I can either let it define meor I can let it be a lesson.
I get to choose how I want tofeel in this moment, and this
doesn't mean you need togaslight yourself when you're
feeling really pissed off oryou're feeling a lot of grief,
(12:22):
like, bring that up.
I think, as women, we shut thatstuff down.
I mean, men do too, but we shutthat stuff down because we
don't want to be called a bitchor we don't want to be, you know
, looked at as you know, anangry person.
But I think that that thoseemotions need to come up.
But when they come up, when youaddress them, then you get to
choose.
Okay, how do I want to look atthis now?
(12:51):
Right, how do I want to feelabout this situation?
What is this teaching me?
Because every obstacle in ourlife is teaching us something if
we're willing to learn thelesson.
So one of the things I alwaystell myself is I am capable of
feeling any emotion.
I can love myself through it,no matter what.
Like that feels like truesecurity with me.
Because anything that we'retrying to control on the outside
or trying to prevent, it'sbecause we don't want to feel a
feeling.
And so when we can get good atfeeling our sensations in our
(13:12):
body, when we can get good atbeing there for ourselves and
allowing things to come up andcome through, I think that's
where like that's where, likethe floodgates open, like that's
true freedom.
And, like I've said on so manynumerous podcasts, like our
mindset determines how youhandle your money.
Scarcity mindset leads tohoarding, to undercharging, to
(13:33):
avoiding financial decisions.
You know, you'll know whenyou're in scarcity by how you
feel in your body, and thistakes slowing down, this takes
connecting to yourself and yourheart.
What is your mind, what doesyour body do when you're acting,
interacting with your money?
You know an empowered mindsetleads to investing in yourself.
(13:56):
Growth.
Think of like, when I think ofempowered, like my shoulders go
back, like my arms open up, likeit feels very open and wide to
me.
Scarcity feels very restrictiveand closed in.
So an empowered mindset leadsto investing in yourself, like I
said, making financial choicesthat support your values and
(14:18):
your goals, which new slash.
They may not look like yourneighbor or your business bestie
, and that is you know.
You have to own that and honorthat.
Okay, and so the fourth thing iswhat are the practical ways to
shift into a more financiallyfree mindset?
So ask yourself what wouldfinancial freedom feel like?
(14:39):
For me, feel right.
Instead of focusing on a number, which is what we've been
taught in the financial industryis focusing our emotions.
Does financial freedom feellike security internally?
Does it feel like ease?
Does it feel like flow?
Does it feel like choice,choosing in this moment to feel?
(15:00):
Does it feel confidence?
Right, what?
What does financial freedomfeel like in your body?
Shifting your inner dialogue,you know, moving from that space
of like I need more, or I haveto have or it's not enough, to
things like I have enough.
Right, I can always create more.
(15:21):
Money loves me and I love money.
Right, money's always flowingto me.
These are practices that youcan start saying to retrain your
subconscious, to wire that in.
You know, obviously, like Ialways say, check in with your
body.
Right, try these thoughts onand see how they feel in your
body.
You know, if you say money isalways flowing to me and it
(15:45):
doesn't feel true to you, okay,well then modify it.
Right, I'm in the process ofbelieving that money is flowing
to me.
I'm in the process of believingthat money is flowing to me.
What are some statements thatyou want to practice on a
consistent and daily basis tohelp you rewire your neural
pathways?
You rewire your neural pathwaysand then taking action right,
(16:11):
whether it's checking yourfinances regularly, setting
boundaries around your work,giving yourself permission to
enjoy your money now and I'm notadvocating to use it all right
now and also, why are we?
You have to really get clear,like, why are we investing all
of this money?
What is it for?
Start living financially freetoday?
(16:40):
And I know I said earlier thatone of the greatest gifts that I
gave my family and this mightmake me cry that I gave my
family was giving away all ofher stuff but really the best
gift, I think, or one of thebest gifts that I think I did,
was using some of our money totake time off and spend with our
daughter.
Like we will never get thattime back and, yes, our accounts
(17:01):
are not where they were when wetook time off to travel, and
I'm okay with that because Iknow that I will and we will
regenerate it.
I know that you know I havethese core memories for the rest
of my life to share with myhusband and my child, like it
(17:23):
was such an incredible use ofour money and I am so grateful
that I had the courage to useour investments and to do that
for our family.
There are people that I knowthat you know, former financial
planners.
I used to work with businessowners that you know I've worked
with in the past that wereworking hard to grow their
(17:44):
business to then be able to sellit and then passing away just a
couple of years after theyretired or they sold their
businesses and they never got todo all of the things that they
were saving for.
And I'm just so grateful forthe courage that I had to
conjure up, you know, to dothose wild and crazy things over
the last four years.
And so I invite you to findyour definition of financial
(18:08):
freedom and it doesn't have tolook like my life, you know, it
gets to look like what you want,but getting really clear on
what that looks like andhonoring that and then taking
steps daily to create that.
You know, if you only take onething from this episode, you
know I want you to remember thatfinancial freedom it's a
(18:30):
feeling, it's a felt sense inyour body.
You know, when we feel free, wemove from a different place, we
make different decisionsbecause we don't allow money to
control us, and it starts withyour mindset, it starts with
your belief systems and how youchoose to engage with your money
.
Okay, that's all I got for you.
(18:51):
I appreciate you being here forsharing your time with me.
I would love to hear from youand connect with you.
If you are wanting to join agroup of women who are really
working towards changing theirrelationship with money, if you
want to be supported in acommunity of other women, I
really invite you to come joinmy free Facebook community Money
(19:12):
Mindset Tips for Women inBusiness.
I will include it in the linkin the show notes and you can
also search it on Facebook.
Thank you for being here andI'll see you in the next episode
.
Did you learn something today?
Do you know another femaleentrepreneur who might be
avoiding her money?
Will you send this episode overto her for me and, if you have
(19:35):
it in you, please leave me areview for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
See you next week.
Today we're going to be diving into a huge
misconception about financialfreedom that it's some number
that you finally get to arriveat.
You know the financial industryand other movements talk about
financial freedom as if it'sthis destination, and I don't
necessarily agree with this.
I have experienced this as wellas some of my clients.
You know on paper they arefinancially free, yet they don't
(00:23):
feel free in their bodies.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
(00:46):
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
So you want to take control ofyour finances and create a
system that feels easy, morelike freedom than restriction,
and you're feeling overwhelmed,like it's going to take so much
time, effort and energy.
My one-on-one Master your Moneycoaching program is going to
(01:07):
teach you how to align yourfinances with your goals,
simplify money management andovercome the fear and stress
that has been holding you back.
You don't need to spend hourson complicated strategies.
I'll show you how to create asimple, customized plan that
works for you, tailored to yourunique needs.
We'll focus on practicalstrategies and I'll show you how
to create a simple, customizedplan that works for you,
tailored to your unique needs.
We'll focus on practicalstrategies, and I'll also
(01:29):
empower you to overcome thelimiting beliefs and emotional
blocks that you have aroundmoney so that you can create a
relationship with money thatfeels calm, where you're in
control, and it feels peaceful.
Let's make financial clarityeasy, fun and not time consuming
, shall we?
Let's work together one-on-oneso you can start building the
(01:50):
life and business you deservewith clarity and confidence and
create true financial freedom.
So you know if I put myfinancial planner hat on back in
the day, you know I really usedto think that financial freedom
was a number you know.
So often when you're workingwith clients, you're thinking
about what is the number thatthey're going to need for
(02:13):
retirement to get them to beable to last, you know, until
they pass away, and in somecases, some people want to give
you know to their heirs ordifferent causes that they care
about.
So what's that amount of moneythat we're working towards?
To have financial freedom, likeit's like this goal that, okay,
if we get there, then we canfeel financially free, right, if
(02:35):
I've saved enough, if I'veinvested enough, then I'll
finally feel secure.
But even as my net worth grew, Istill had stress and fear
around money and, for sure,guilt around spending it.
And you know, as I ponder this,I think the answer is more so I
would probably say I probablyfelt even more stress and fear
(02:58):
as the number grew because Ifelt like that there was more at
risk to lose, because I feltlike that there was more at risk
to lose.
So I was afraid to spend,scared, you know, to lose what
we had built, and constantlyfelt like I needed to make more,
like it was never a proudsatisfaction, like I'm so happy
(03:20):
of how far we've come.
It was always coming from lackof not good enough, which I
think money is just a beautifulmirror for how we view ourselves
.
I felt a lot of lack overall inmy life and, for sure, around
myself and my value and what Ithought like my self-concept,
right, what I thought aboutmyself.
So, of course, my money wasgoing to feel like not enough,
(03:40):
because I felt like not enoughas a human and money is just an
amplifier.
You know, if you feel free andgenerous with it, with where you
are right now, when yougenerate more, you're going to
just do more of that.
If you feel scared and stressedand like you can't have enough,
don't have enough all of thethings.
(04:02):
When you generate more, you'lljust create more fear and stress
in your life.
You know I've shared onprevious podcasts.
You know I was at a certainnumber when I realized that
financial freedom isn't it isn'tabout how much money you have,
it's about how you feel, aboutwhat you have.
It is the perception that youare thinking about where you are
(04:22):
.
You know, I kept moving thegoalposts and then I realized
what I was doing and no matterwhen we hit that number, I would
just think that it would bebetter.
Right, this is what we do.
We fantasize It'll be better inthe future.
It'll be different, becauseit's very conditional thinking
If I do this, then I'll feelthis.
When I get to this, do this,then I'll feel this.
(04:47):
When I get to this, then I'llfeel this.
And it's a pattern and at thetime I mean I think there, the
awareness was there.
I don't know how in tune I waswith my body.
It definitely became crystalclear, apparently clear, when I
decided to take my time off,because then we were using some
of our investments, we werehaving fun and traveling, which
(05:08):
goes against everything you'resupposed to be doing.
You know, they say like theyears of 40s and 50s are your
accumulation years, and so it'sthis idea like you're not
supposed to be doing this, andso it was really.
When I took time off is when Ireally started to see all those
deep-seated beliefs and feelingsthat I had around money.
(05:31):
So if financial freedom isn'tabout numbers, what is it really
about?
I think it's about your beliefsabout money and how they
actually are shaping what you'recreating in your reality.
Right?
If you believe that you have tohustle to have enough, then
you'll always be chasing.
It won't matter what number youget to.
(05:54):
The next number is where you'llhave to go.
You'll just I mean how manytimes?
I don't know if this is truefor you, but for me I would have
a goal even before, like I'dprobably be like 70 or 80% there
, almost to my goal, and I'dalready be thinking of another
goal, right, I think this is thedopamine hit that we want from
our brains, that our brains dogive us right, but it steals us
(06:16):
from where we are right now.
So if you believe that money isunpredictable and scarce or out
of your control, then you willalways feel insecure, no matter
how much you have.
I used to do this, you know,like with our investments and
the stock market, and I think alot of us feel this way, because
(06:37):
we feel out of control, becausewe don't know what the market
is going to do.
You know we're putting oursecurity in the market versus us
, recognizing that we're theones that generate the money to
then put it in the market.
We're also the ones that arepaying attention to our
investments.
We're also the ones that arespeaking with our advisors and
(06:59):
getting strategy.
So, like we do have a lot ofcontrol, even when we're
investing in the market, I thinkit's also understanding how the
market works right and the truebelief that within us, right,
we are the ones generating themoney.
So if you start to shift intotrusting that money flows and
(07:19):
it's meant to flow right, it'snot about accumulating.
I think accumulating feels tome like a dam of water that's
been held up right.
Water is supposed to move.
Money is supposed to move whenwater is held up and it gets
stagnant and it gets bacteria init.
(07:40):
So, accumulation versusallocation right.
It's about allocating andallowing our money to flow in
and out just like the ocean,that you're always capable of
creating more and that wealth ismore than just numbers.
I think things were going tostart shifting quickly for you,
I think, also understanding thatfinancial freedom is a choice,
(08:01):
not a dollar amount, I think sooften we forget.
We have choice.
We have choice to believe rightnow that we are worthy.
We have choice right now tolove ourselves.
We have choice right now tocommit to being and doing what
we say we're going to do.
We have choice to be, enjoy themoment and be happy with where
(08:23):
we are, wherever we are rightFinancial position, spouse,
children, cars we drive, drivehouses Like it is a choice and I
think that when we can reallytruly look at it like I am
choosing to be miserable or I amchoosing to be happy, there is
power in that.
So some people you know, making$50,000 a year, like if I say
(08:45):
that it might be like oh my gosh, how could anybody do that?
But they might feel freebecause they've built a life
that aligns with their values.
I remember, you know, when I wasa financial planner, one of my
favorite clients.
He was a single guy.
He was at the time.
I mean, this was what 20 yearsago.
He was probably making like 30or 40,000 a year, but he
(09:06):
invested a lot of his, likepercentage of what he grossed,
and he was so curious aboutinvesting and growing his wealth
and he wasn't attached.
He was just like teach me allthe things, tell me how this
works.
You know, can I be saving more?
And not from a place of likenot enough, but like, oh, okay,
like, I see what you're, youknow the information that you're
(09:29):
giving me, like, okay, whereelse can we put this?
And then I had clients who hadmillions and we're checking it
daily, right, it's not, it's nota number.
I had another client, I think hewas making maybe around 500,000
around that at Dell and he wasliterally, when I say broke from
(09:50):
a, what I mean by that is hewas overspending and not
watching his money, right, andhe felt so stuck because he he
felt in his mind, right, hecouldn't cut back on work.
He definitely was a workaholicoverworker, he overspent, which
I think is actually a result ofsomething deeper, and he didn't
(10:13):
appreciate.
You know me kind of laying itout to him, like when we become
attached, like I was saying,like, dude, you're spending way
too much money, you know you'reoverspending.
And I think when we becomeattached to things he had a lot
of toys and I think one of mysuggestions was like, hey, are
you willing to sell some of yourstuff?
Right, you know you're makingpayments on this, you don't own
(10:36):
it outright and you'reoverspending Like, are you
willing to let go of some ofthis stuff?
He didn't necessarily like itin the beginning and I think we
have to ask ourselves you know,when we become attached to our
things, I don't really thinkthat that feels like financial
freedom.
I think one of the greatestgifts that I gave my family was
(10:56):
giving almost all of ourbelongings away.
We kept some stuff, but a lotof the stuff.
You know we gave it away whenwe moved to Maui and it really
gets you to see where you'reattached to a certain kind of
lifestyle, things in your house,things you've kept for so long,
and I'm not sitting hereadvocating, you know, sell your
house, sell all the things orget rid of all of the things,
(11:19):
like I did.
I'm just inviting you to see,maybe, where you are attached to
your money and physical things,like, where are you putting
your joy and your happiness onsomething outside of you versus
within you?
And when you get clarity aroundthat, does that actually feel
like true financial freedom toyou or does that feel more
(11:39):
restrictive?
So my definition of true freedommeans feeling secure and in
control, no matter what happens.
And when I say in control, Idon't mean controlling all the
things.
I mean I'm in control of what Ithink, I'm in control of what I
feel, I'm in control of what Ido, like those three things.
That's really all that we havecontrol over, right?
(12:00):
We're co-creating with theuniverse or God spirit source,
however you want to look at it.
Co-creating with the universeor God spirit source, however
you want to look at it.
And when we really start to lookat things and think about okay,
I get to choose what I want tothink about this situation.
I can either let it define meor I can let it be a lesson.
I get to choose how I want tofeel in this moment, and this
doesn't mean you need togaslight yourself when you're
feeling really pissed off oryou're feeling a lot of grief,
(12:22):
like, bring that up.
I think, as women, we shut thatstuff down.
I mean, men do too, but we shutthat stuff down because we
don't want to be called a bitchor we don't want to be, you know
, looked at as you know, anangry person.
But I think that that thoseemotions need to come up.
But when they come up, when youaddress them, then you get to
choose.
Okay, how do I want to look atthis now?
(12:51):
Right, how do I want to feelabout this situation?
What is this teaching me?
Because every obstacle in ourlife is teaching us something if
we're willing to learn thelesson.
So one of the things I alwaystell myself is I am capable of
feeling any emotion.
I can love myself through it,no matter what.
Like that feels like truesecurity with me.
Because anything that we'retrying to control on the outside
or trying to prevent, it'sbecause we don't want to feel a
feeling.
And so when we can get good atfeeling our sensations in our
(13:12):
body, when we can get good atbeing there for ourselves and
allowing things to come up andcome through, I think that's
where like that's where, likethe floodgates open, like that's
true freedom.
And, like I've said on so manynumerous podcasts, like our
mindset determines how youhandle your money.
Scarcity mindset leads tohoarding, to undercharging, to
(13:33):
avoiding financial decisions.
You know, you'll know whenyou're in scarcity by how you
feel in your body, and thistakes slowing down, this takes
connecting to yourself and yourheart.
What is your mind, what doesyour body do when you're acting,
interacting with your money?
You know an empowered mindsetleads to investing in yourself.
(13:56):
Growth.
Think of like, when I think ofempowered, like my shoulders go
back, like my arms open up, likeit feels very open and wide to
me.
Scarcity feels very restrictiveand closed in.
So an empowered mindset leadsto investing in yourself, like I
said, making financial choicesthat support your values and
(14:18):
your goals, which new slash.
They may not look like yourneighbor or your business bestie
, and that is you know.
You have to own that and honorthat.
Okay, and so the fourth thing iswhat are the practical ways to
shift into a more financiallyfree mindset?
So ask yourself what wouldfinancial freedom feel like?
(14:39):
For me, feel right.
Instead of focusing on a number, which is what we've been
taught in the financial industryis focusing our emotions.
Does financial freedom feellike security internally?
Does it feel like ease?
Does it feel like flow?
Does it feel like choice,choosing in this moment to feel?
(15:00):
Does it feel confidence?
Right, what?
What does financial freedomfeel like in your body?
Shifting your inner dialogue,you know, moving from that space
of like I need more, or I haveto have or it's not enough, to
things like I have enough.
Right, I can always create more.
(15:21):
Money loves me and I love money.
Right, money's always flowingto me.
These are practices that youcan start saying to retrain your
subconscious, to wire that in.
You know, obviously, like Ialways say, check in with your
body.
Right, try these thoughts onand see how they feel in your
body.
You know, if you say money isalways flowing to me and it
(15:45):
doesn't feel true to you, okay,well then modify it.
Right, I'm in the process ofbelieving that money is flowing
to me.
I'm in the process of believingthat money is flowing to me.
What are some statements thatyou want to practice on a
consistent and daily basis tohelp you rewire your neural
pathways?
You rewire your neural pathwaysand then taking action right,
(16:11):
whether it's checking yourfinances regularly, setting
boundaries around your work,giving yourself permission to
enjoy your money now and I'm notadvocating to use it all right
now and also, why are we?
You have to really get clear,like, why are we investing all
of this money?
What is it for?
Start living financially freetoday?
(16:40):
And I know I said earlier thatone of the greatest gifts that I
gave my family and this mightmake me cry that I gave my
family was giving away all ofher stuff but really the best
gift, I think, or one of thebest gifts that I think I did,
was using some of our money totake time off and spend with our
daughter.
Like we will never get thattime back and, yes, our accounts
(17:01):
are not where they were when wetook time off to travel, and
I'm okay with that because Iknow that I will and we will
regenerate it.
I know that you know I havethese core memories for the rest
of my life to share with myhusband and my child, like it
(17:23):
was such an incredible use ofour money and I am so grateful
that I had the courage to useour investments and to do that
for our family.
There are people that I knowthat you know, former financial
planners.
I used to work with businessowners that you know I've worked
with in the past that wereworking hard to grow their
(17:44):
business to then be able to sellit and then passing away just a
couple of years after theyretired or they sold their
businesses and they never got todo all of the things that they
were saving for.
And I'm just so grateful forthe courage that I had to
conjure up, you know, to dothose wild and crazy things over
the last four years.
And so I invite you to findyour definition of financial
(18:08):
freedom and it doesn't have tolook like my life, you know, it
gets to look like what you want,but getting really clear on
what that looks like andhonoring that and then taking
steps daily to create that.
You know, if you only take onething from this episode, you
know I want you to remember thatfinancial freedom it's a
(18:30):
feeling, it's a felt sense inyour body.
You know, when we feel free, wemove from a different place, we
make different decisionsbecause we don't allow money to
control us, and it starts withyour mindset, it starts with
your belief systems and how youchoose to engage with your money
.
Okay, that's all I got for you.
(18:51):
I appreciate you being here forsharing your time with me.
I would love to hear from youand connect with you.
If you are wanting to join agroup of women who are really
working towards changing theirrelationship with money, if you
want to be supported in acommunity of other women, I
really invite you to come joinmy free Facebook community Money
(19:12):
Mindset Tips for Women inBusiness.
I will include it in the linkin the show notes and you can
also search it on Facebook.
Thank you for being here andI'll see you in the next episode
.
Did you learn something today?
Do you know another femaleentrepreneur who might be
avoiding her money?
Will you send this episode overto her for me and, if you have
(19:35):
it in you, please leave me areview for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
See you next week.
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