April 28, 2025 • 22 mins
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What if everything you’ve been taught about money — earning, saving, and investing — is only half the story?
In this episode, we explore the emotional side of money: the beliefs, patterns, and inner narratives that silently shape your financial reality. Because truthfully, most financial stress isn’t about the numbers — it’s about our relationship with money.
Even those who are “financially stable” often experience guilt, fear, and avoidance. Why? Because traditional education taught us how to handle money logically and practically, but never emotionally.
In this episode I discuss:
- The early childhood beliefs (before age 7) that secretly drive your financial behavior
- Why having “enough” doesn’t stop money anxiety — and what does
- How to create regular CEO-style money check-ins to feel empowered, not overwhelmed
- Breaking cycles of scarcity, guilt, and fear through embodied financial practices
- The problem with postponing joy until retirement — and how to start living now
- Building wealth and spending in alignment with what matters to you
- How to shift your financial legacy by changing the way you relate to money
Your relationship with money can shift not only your present experience — but also the trajectory for generations to come. And it starts with awareness, consistency, and new beliefs that support ease, trust, and abundance.
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➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915
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Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?
➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart
Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?
Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/30-min-call-with-erin)
Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:01):
Today we're diving into something so many of us can
probably relate to thefinancial skills that we should
have been taught and weren't.
If you've ever felt like you'rejust figuring out money as you
go, I want you to know that youare not alone.
Most of us were not taught howto manage money, grow our wealth
and feel confident in ourfinancial decisions.
(00:21):
I want you to know it's nevertoo late to learn, and in this
episode we're going to breakdown the most important
financial skills you wish youwere taught and how to start
mastering them now.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
(00:45):
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
Are you in a place where youhave enough money in the bank,
yet it still never feels likeenough?
From the outside, everythingmay look fine, your net worth is
(01:07):
solid and you're on track, andyet you still feel uncertain,
anxious and out of control.
I want you to know, I used tobe in the same exact place as
you are.
We had plenty, yet I lived inconstant fear of losing it all
or not saving enough for thefuture, even though logic and my
financial account saidotherwise.
The truth is, I was reallyterrified of my own money.
(01:31):
I avoided looking at mybalances or went into
hypervigilance, restrictingspending unnecessarily.
The fear of making those wrongmoves kept me paralyzed, and I
was trapped in a mindset of notenough, even when I had more
than enough.
It wasn't until I realized thatthe issue wasn't the money
itself.
It was my mindset around it.
(01:52):
That is when everything beganto shift.
I understood my money on apractical level, but I never had
allowed myself to actually feelat peace with it.
I had to stop seeing it assomething that could slip away
at any moment and instead beganusing it as a tool for
empowerment and growth.
So if you're ready to stopletting fear control your
(02:13):
financial decisions and startusing your wealth to create more
freedom, opportunity andconfidence, I would love to
support you.
Head over to my website,generatealifewelllivedcom and
click the link.
Work with me to schedulea calltoday.
I know I've said on previouspodcasts that I think that,
especially as women, you know usnot knowing about money was
(02:36):
done on purpose.
You know from the schoolsystems, from society at large,
and this is something that I'mreally passionate about because
I think that this was doneintentionally.
So we didn't, you know, tomaintain control.
So we didn't know, so we didn'tfeel empowered.
And I know how much financialknowledge I have taken, either
(02:58):
through college or just learning, you know, on the job, training
and just learning on my own.
And and it wasn't probablyuntil about, I don't know, a
couple of years ago that howlittle I knew about actually
like feeling wealthy andgenerating money on my own terms
(03:21):
from a place of joy andabundance.
You know, I knew, I always knewhow to make money, not with
ease, um, but I didn't know howto manage it or grow it or feel
confident from a place of easeand trust, and I think that this
is a skillset that isn't beingtaught.
I think there's lots ofstrategy, tactics on how to grow
(03:41):
your money, but we're nottalking how to do it with ease
and flow and joy and trust.
You know my dad he alwaysinstilled in me to work hard to
save and invest, especially, youknow, like in my 401k.
I remember I was working at thehospital when I thought I
wanted to go to medical schooland I think it was.
I was about to hit 21 and at 21, typically most plans 401k
(04:05):
plans I know in the hospitalsthey're called 403Bs same kind
of thing, just different in thetax code, let's just call it a
401k that I was able to startinvesting at 21.
That's when I started investingin my 401k.
So he taught me to start savingand investing and to keep debt
minimal or no debt, and thoseare skill sets that served me
(04:29):
really well.
He allowed me to generate mywealth, to be able to, like I
said, take time off with myfamily, but I don't know if he
ever sat me down to teach me howto do all of that with ease and
joy and trust.
And I know in my financialplanning classes nobody taught
me how to do that.
And I have such compassion forhim because how could he if he
(04:55):
wasn't experiencing that forhimself?
Right, like we can't teach whatwe don't embody and know, and
so if you're coming from a placeof generating money from hustle
, working hard, a lot of hours,you know, from lack.
How can you teach that toanyone else?
Which is why I think we have aduty as women this always makes
(05:18):
me cry to master this stuff sothat we can teach this to our
kids, because the last time Ichecked, nobody's teaching this
stuff in the school system, andI think we have an opportunity
as parents moms to shift theentire trajectory of our
children's lives by changing howwe think and feel with our
(05:42):
money.
You know nobody's actuallytalking about.
How do we create create, youknow, financial freedom beyond
just saving for retirement.
How do we manage our moneywithout feeling overwhelmed and
guilty?
How do we make financialdecisions that feel empowering
instead of stressful?
Like this is not stuff thatmost.
(06:02):
Maybe it's coming aroundbecause you have more people who
are connected and theirconsciousness has has risen.
But I don't think a lot of thefinancial industry is really
talking about how to do, how todo the tactical 3d part, how to
build your wealth and marryingthe 5d of with ease, with trust,
with love and appreciation.
(06:23):
And I think one of the biggestones is how do we actually trust
ourselves with our money andour financial decisions?
We're taught from a very earlyage right To outsource our
decision-making, ask someoneelse, ask them what they think
right, ask our parents, ask ourteachers, ask our friends.
But like, how often are wetraining ourselves?
Like, what do we want?
(06:43):
We're taught to ask our CPA,our financial planner, bank
keeper, bookkeepers, you know,and what their opinion is, and
they hold that.
That advice is valuable, right,and it has merit.
But what we tend to not do iswe don't then run it through our
filter before our finaldecision is made, right.
(07:05):
There have been times whereI've been working with the CPA
and I have said they havesuggested one way and I'm like
well, the tax code said it'sthis and it's up to
interpretation and sochallenging, versus just taking
verbatim of what they say aslike fact.
(07:28):
And I want to encourage you that, even though that maybe we
weren't taught these skills,that doesn't mean you can't
learn them now.
You know, I always say if wecan figure out how to be a
parent, we can definitely figureout how to be with our money.
And if you aren't a parent, youknow it still applies to you.
There are things that you havefigured out in your life that
you didn't know beforehand, thatyou know now, and we can
totally do this with money.
(07:49):
So I'm gonna go through andname the.
You know let's just call it topfinancial skills that I wish
that we were taught.
And then how do we get to learnthem now?
So one, how to confidentlymanage cashflow.
You know, a lot of times when Italk to women they will look at
(08:11):
their bank balance or not.
Actually, they won't look attheir bank balance, they just
hope for the best, or they'lllook at it and then they'll just
see what they have in theiraccount.
And I think you know truefinancial confidence comes from
knowing exactly what's coming inand going out right, knowing
your numbers in your financiallife excuse me, in your personal
life and also your business.
(08:32):
So you can create.
I always say I have CEO time onMondays at 10 AM.
I also have weekend check-inswith my personal money.
You know, create a CEO moneycheck-in.
Create, like, what kind ofcheck-in do you want to create
for yourself, for your businessand your personal finances,
(08:54):
where you review your income andyour expenses every month?
I always recommend you know forclients that they start here,
like I think you should start.
If you're not doing it on aconsistent basis, I think you
need to be doing it on a weeklybasis, or maybe even daily,
because there's a reason whyyou're not doing it.
(09:16):
And so it gives you theopportunity, like, think about
if you were to check it everyday.
That gives you seven times aweek to check in with your body.
And what are you feeling?
What are those emotions andsensations that you're feeling
with your body?
That as you're checking yourbank account, as you're looking
at your numbers, and what wealso want to do is get to a
place of neutrality, so when youopen up your bank account, you
(09:42):
aren't feeling that jarringfeeling in your body.
Okay, so we're building up ourcapacity with our nervous system
to just be with our money, andthis is a skillset of being the
person who looks and paysattention to her money.
Right, who is the woman thatpays attention to her money?
We always say we want moremoney, but are we taking care of
(10:02):
the money that we have now?
Sometimes the answer is no.
It's not a place where we needto shame and guilt ourselves if
that's the answer, and also wecan do differently right?
Who's the person that, whatevernumber you're wanting to have,
how is she interacting with hermoney?
She has to start doing thatright now.
You know we're taught to workfor money right, trading our
(10:25):
time for dollars versus creatingincome streams and assets that
will fund our lifestyle.
You know, I think business isone of our biggest assets
because it's our mind right, ourmindset, our systems in place,
our assets that we're building,that that is a big asset for us.
(10:49):
You know there are other typesof investments, like the stock
market or real estate orwhatever else you might be
investing in, but I just want toencourage you to get curious,
like what types of investmentsdo you actually want to become
interested in?
I used to invest in the stockmarket and that is one of the
ways that we generated ourwealth, and that is one of the
(11:14):
ways that we generated ourwealth.
And then, once I started tokind of diving in more to the
stock market, who's actuallycontrolling some of those bigger
stocks, how it really works,all the behind the scenes I
don't know right now if that's astrategy that I want to
continue to use.
Moving forward, may I will.
I maybe possibly make adifferent decision in six months
or a year, yes, but at the timecurrently, as I record this,
(11:38):
april 2025, we've decided to useour money, I should say, or
invest our money a little bitdifferently, just because of the
way that the stock market hasbeen.
So start with basic stuff,right?
(11:59):
Ask your financial plannerquestions that you may not
understand.
Make them explain why they haveyou in these specific funds.
How often are they reallocatingfor you?
What is their plan and yourplan for these investments?
How are they tax favorable,like?
There's so many questions thatyou get to ask because they are
working with you.
And if you're like, oh, I don'twanna do that, I don't enjoy
that, then I have to ask you,why are you investing that way
(12:21):
then?
If that doesn't light you up,if you're not excited about it,
then what do you wanna invest inthat feels really good?
Are you investing in the marketbecause someone said that's
what you should do, or are youinvesting in the market because
you love it and you're genuinelycurious about it and you want
to learn more?
The third one is just how tobreak free from scarcity mindset
.
I know I feel like sometimesI'm like talking like a broken
(12:43):
record, but I think that this isso important because if you
grew up hearing things like it'sso expensive or we can't afford
that, then those beliefs youknow, basically, between the
time that we're born until aboutage seven or eight, we are just
absorbing.
So everything from everyonearound us, obviously our parents
, cause we're with them the most.
(13:04):
So those beliefs that just wentinto our subconscious up until
age seven, if we aren't aware ofthem, that's the program that
we're running and that is whatwill create our financial
reality.
So, starting now, rewiring yourmindset right, questioning
those old beliefs, findingevidence of the opposite that is
(13:26):
true, replacing them with moresufficient and abundant ways of
thinking.
Become the watcher of yourthoughts, right?
We have, we're the only speciesthat has the ability to
actually think about what we'rethinking about, right?
So become that person whothinks about what you're
(13:48):
thinking about and what yourbody is actually feeling when
you interact with your money.
Start practicing daily newthoughts that are conducive to a
woman that not only has themoney in her bank account and
investments, but truly feelswealthy.
What does wealth actually feellike in your body?
Not how much you have in yourbank account and then I'm
(14:10):
wealthy.
What does that actually feellike in your body with ease?
Number four is you know how dowe get to start spending
guilt-free, right, and stillbuild our wealth.
I think so often we're taughtto either save everything or
it's like this pendulum swingright Either there are some of
us that like spend recklessly orjust without awareness I don't
(14:36):
want to say recklessly, but wespend without awareness or
there's those of us that reallysave and invest a lot or over
save and there's a balance right.
Spending with intention is key,creating a values-based spending
plan where your money flowstowards what matters to you.
(14:58):
And I really like to look at itas my money flows.
My money flows on things that Icare about.
Right, and think about thattrickle effect of when I use my
money.
Let's just say, if you go outto eat and you spend time with
your family, my money is.
Let's just say, if you go outto eat and you spend like time
with your family, like my moneyis getting to circulate because
I got to spend time with myfamily, the server had helped us
(15:20):
and that money gets to go tothem and then they get to use it
in a way that feels fun forthem.
So really starting to spend yourmoney in ways that you find
value and they're going to lookdifferent, you know, than
someone else's, or even your,even your spouses, and that's
(15:40):
okay, I think, allowing yourself, each of you, to have your own
spending plan on things that youvalue.
So maybe it's starting small Ifyou're someone who never spends
money on themselves.
I was talking to a girlfriendand she's like I don't know if
she said she'd never gotten apedicure or she just hasn't
gotten one in years.
But if that's something that'simportant to you and you're not
(16:01):
doing, starting to do that on aconsistent basis, allocating
funds so that you can spend thatmoney guilt-free.
So obviously, be kind to yournervous system.
If you're not spending anymoney and then you want to start
spending $1,000 a month, thatmay be too big of a jump, right?
But maybe $100 a month for eachof you to see how that feels
Just start doing it.
(16:22):
Start using and allocating someamount of money for you that
you get to have just for you,same thing with your spouse, and
what this will do is you'll seereally quickly what stories you
have around spending onyourself and not your kids,
right?
I think a lot of times we havemom guilt, which is a social
construct completely made up,but we have mom guilt around
(16:43):
spending on ourselves and notour kids, and that's going to
bring up those feelings, thoselower vibration emotions of
feeling shame or guilt, and thatis coming up to be healed, to
be transcended and workedthrough right.
It's an invitation for you togo deeper and to see what
stories and beliefs here thatare creating this feeling of
(17:06):
shame and guilt.
And the last one is how to buildfinancial freedom on your own
terms.
I have mentioned in previousepisodes I don't believe
financial freedom is a number.
It's not just about saving forretirement.
It's about creating options andflexibility and choice, and I
(17:30):
think the financial industry hasbeen conditioned to have us
believing that we're going tomake a lot of money, invest it
and then retire.
And I don't necessarily know ifI agree with this.
I think this might be some ofthe most limiting advice.
When we act from this space,right, we assume that we will
never work again.
I mean, wasn't Betty White theone that, like, worked and she
(17:51):
passed away?
Like, when you're doing workyou love, why are we retiring?
You know, when we act from thisspace, we assume we're never
going to work again, that thismoney that we're creating now
has to last us until we die, andthat just feels very limiting,
nevermind what we're telling ourbodies about when we retire,
(18:12):
right, if we're thinking about,okay, well, when we retire, then
the next stage is death.
What are we prepping our bodiesfor?
So, if we're working to investand accumulate to finally get to
do what we really want to do,if this resonates with you, then
(18:32):
the question is why aren't wedoing that right now?
Why aren't we enjoying what wehave right now and working and
doing work we love right now?
Like one of the questions Iused to ask my clients when I
was getting clear on, you know,their financial plan was what do
you want to do in retirement?
And they would share with meand I would always be curious of
(18:56):
like, well, why aren't we doingsome of that right now?
Right, if your answer is I'mgoing to start doing X, y, z
kind of work, then the questionthen becomes why aren't we doing
that right now?
Which that's going to bring uplimiting beliefs.
If the question, if the answeris you know, I want to travel
more, well, why aren't wetraveling more right now?
I think one of the biggest ahasI mean, I always say one of the
(19:19):
biggest ahas but I think onething that I really have thought
about, as my parents havestarted to I don't like to say
the word age, as they've beenaround the sun more than I have
is that there are differentseasons of our life, like what
might you be able to do rightnow that you may not be able to
(19:40):
do when you're 80 or even wantto do Right?
So I think, really starting toget some clarity around.
Am I prolonging something Imean?
So many times I hear people belike well, when I retire, I'm
going to go travel Europe.
Well, are you going to be inthe best health, which I believe
I will be.
But if you're holding offbecause you think sometime in
(20:04):
the future is better, I justwant to encourage you and
challenge that line of thinkingand really asking yourself what
can I do right now that maybe Imay or may not be able to do at
10 or 15, 20 years from now?
You know I talk about how wetook off with our daughter and,
(20:25):
yes, do I think that there willbe more opportunities for us to
do that?
Absolutely.
Do I also think she's gettinginto a place where she's going
to get into high school?
I mean, she's already started.
She's like mom, I don't want totravel like as much as you want
to like.
I want to stay and I want to bein school the entire time.
I'm in school.
So there was a window ofopportunity that we got to have
(20:45):
because she didn't really caretoo much about school and
friends, but now she really does.
So what are some things that youmay might be prolonging or, you
know, pushing off to some laterdate, that maybe it might not
be as easy or you might not bein that state of mind to do it
(21:05):
at some point later down theroad?
So define what financialfreedom actually looks like for
you.
It's not a number, right.
It's about how you want to feelabout money.
Okay, so to recap one, how toconfidently manage our cashflow
with ease, how do we make moneywork for us, how do we break
(21:28):
free from scarcity mindset, howto spend guilt-free and still
build our wealth, and then howto build financial freedom on
our own terms.
Start looking and playing withthese in a way that feels good
for you, and I want you to knowif this episode resonated with
(21:51):
you, if it spoke to you, thatyou are not behind, no matter
where you are.
Right now you can learn theseskills and we can shift the
trajectory of our financialfuture and if this is something
that you want one-on-one supportwith, I would love and be
honored to walk beside you alongthis journey.
(22:13):
You can schedule a link in myshow notes or you can go to my
websitegeneratealifewelllivedcom.
Click on the link, work with meand schedule a call.
We will dive in for that firsthour.
You know, looking at your goals,what you want to create, gain
financial clarity around whereyou are and then work towards
that together.
(22:33):
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Did you learn something today?
Do you know another femaleentrepreneur who might be
avoiding her money?
Will you send this episode overto her for me and, if you have
it in you, please leave me areview for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
See you next week.
Today we're diving into something so many of us can
probably relate to thefinancial skills that we should
have been taught and weren't.
If you've ever felt like you'rejust figuring out money as you
go, I want you to know that youare not alone.
Most of us were not taught howto manage money, grow our wealth
and feel confident in ourfinancial decisions.
(00:21):
I want you to know it's nevertoo late to learn, and in this
episode we're going to breakdown the most important
financial skills you wish youwere taught and how to start
mastering them now.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
(00:45):
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
Are you in a place where youhave enough money in the bank,
yet it still never feels likeenough?
From the outside, everythingmay look fine, your net worth is
(01:07):
solid and you're on track, andyet you still feel uncertain,
anxious and out of control.
I want you to know, I used tobe in the same exact place as
you are.
We had plenty, yet I lived inconstant fear of losing it all
or not saving enough for thefuture, even though logic and my
financial account saidotherwise.
The truth is, I was reallyterrified of my own money.
(01:31):
I avoided looking at mybalances or went into
hypervigilance, restrictingspending unnecessarily.
The fear of making those wrongmoves kept me paralyzed, and I
was trapped in a mindset of notenough, even when I had more
than enough.
It wasn't until I realized thatthe issue wasn't the money
itself.
It was my mindset around it.
(01:52):
That is when everything beganto shift.
I understood my money on apractical level, but I never had
allowed myself to actually feelat peace with it.
I had to stop seeing it assomething that could slip away
at any moment and instead beganusing it as a tool for
empowerment and growth.
So if you're ready to stopletting fear control your
(02:13):
financial decisions and startusing your wealth to create more
freedom, opportunity andconfidence, I would love to
support you.
Head over to my website,generatealifewelllivedcom and
click the link.
Work with me to schedulea calltoday.
I know I've said on previouspodcasts that I think that,
especially as women, you know usnot knowing about money was
(02:36):
done on purpose.
You know from the schoolsystems, from society at large,
and this is something that I'mreally passionate about because
I think that this was doneintentionally.
So we didn't, you know, tomaintain control.
So we didn't know, so we didn'tfeel empowered.
And I know how much financialknowledge I have taken, either
(02:58):
through college or just learning, you know, on the job, training
and just learning on my own.
And and it wasn't probablyuntil about, I don't know, a
couple of years ago that howlittle I knew about actually
like feeling wealthy andgenerating money on my own terms
(03:21):
from a place of joy andabundance.
You know, I knew, I always knewhow to make money, not with
ease, um, but I didn't know howto manage it or grow it or feel
confident from a place of easeand trust, and I think that this
is a skillset that isn't beingtaught.
I think there's lots ofstrategy, tactics on how to grow
(03:41):
your money, but we're nottalking how to do it with ease
and flow and joy and trust.
You know my dad he alwaysinstilled in me to work hard to
save and invest, especially, youknow, like in my 401k.
I remember I was working at thehospital when I thought I
wanted to go to medical schooland I think it was.
I was about to hit 21 and at 21, typically most plans 401k
(04:05):
plans I know in the hospitalsthey're called 403Bs same kind
of thing, just different in thetax code, let's just call it a
401k that I was able to startinvesting at 21.
That's when I started investingin my 401k.
So he taught me to start savingand investing and to keep debt
minimal or no debt, and thoseare skill sets that served me
(04:29):
really well.
He allowed me to generate mywealth, to be able to, like I
said, take time off with myfamily, but I don't know if he
ever sat me down to teach me howto do all of that with ease and
joy and trust.
And I know in my financialplanning classes nobody taught
me how to do that.
And I have such compassion forhim because how could he if he
(04:55):
wasn't experiencing that forhimself?
Right, like we can't teach whatwe don't embody and know, and
so if you're coming from a placeof generating money from hustle
, working hard, a lot of hours,you know, from lack.
How can you teach that toanyone else?
Which is why I think we have aduty as women this always makes
(05:18):
me cry to master this stuff sothat we can teach this to our
kids, because the last time Ichecked, nobody's teaching this
stuff in the school system, andI think we have an opportunity
as parents moms to shift theentire trajectory of our
children's lives by changing howwe think and feel with our
(05:42):
money.
You know nobody's actuallytalking about.
How do we create create, youknow, financial freedom beyond
just saving for retirement.
How do we manage our moneywithout feeling overwhelmed and
guilty?
How do we make financialdecisions that feel empowering
instead of stressful?
Like this is not stuff thatmost.
(06:02):
Maybe it's coming aroundbecause you have more people who
are connected and theirconsciousness has has risen.
But I don't think a lot of thefinancial industry is really
talking about how to do, how todo the tactical 3d part, how to
build your wealth and marryingthe 5d of with ease, with trust,
with love and appreciation.
(06:23):
And I think one of the biggestones is how do we actually trust
ourselves with our money andour financial decisions?
We're taught from a very earlyage right To outsource our
decision-making, ask someoneelse, ask them what they think
right, ask our parents, ask ourteachers, ask our friends.
But like, how often are wetraining ourselves?
Like, what do we want?
(06:43):
We're taught to ask our CPA,our financial planner, bank
keeper, bookkeepers, you know,and what their opinion is, and
they hold that.
That advice is valuable, right,and it has merit.
But what we tend to not do iswe don't then run it through our
filter before our finaldecision is made, right.
(07:05):
There have been times whereI've been working with the CPA
and I have said they havesuggested one way and I'm like
well, the tax code said it'sthis and it's up to
interpretation and sochallenging, versus just taking
verbatim of what they say aslike fact.
(07:28):
And I want to encourage you that, even though that maybe we
weren't taught these skills,that doesn't mean you can't
learn them now.
You know, I always say if wecan figure out how to be a
parent, we can definitely figureout how to be with our money.
And if you aren't a parent, youknow it still applies to you.
There are things that you havefigured out in your life that
you didn't know beforehand, thatyou know now, and we can
totally do this with money.
(07:49):
So I'm gonna go through andname the.
You know let's just call it topfinancial skills that I wish
that we were taught.
And then how do we get to learnthem now?
So one, how to confidentlymanage cashflow.
You know, a lot of times when Italk to women they will look at
(08:11):
their bank balance or not.
Actually, they won't look attheir bank balance, they just
hope for the best, or they'lllook at it and then they'll just
see what they have in theiraccount.
And I think you know truefinancial confidence comes from
knowing exactly what's coming inand going out right, knowing
your numbers in your financiallife excuse me, in your personal
life and also your business.
(08:32):
So you can create.
I always say I have CEO time onMondays at 10 AM.
I also have weekend check-inswith my personal money.
You know, create a CEO moneycheck-in.
Create, like, what kind ofcheck-in do you want to create
for yourself, for your businessand your personal finances,
(08:54):
where you review your income andyour expenses every month?
I always recommend you know forclients that they start here,
like I think you should start.
If you're not doing it on aconsistent basis, I think you
need to be doing it on a weeklybasis, or maybe even daily,
because there's a reason whyyou're not doing it.
(09:16):
And so it gives you theopportunity, like, think about
if you were to check it everyday.
That gives you seven times aweek to check in with your body.
And what are you feeling?
What are those emotions andsensations that you're feeling
with your body?
That as you're checking yourbank account, as you're looking
at your numbers, and what wealso want to do is get to a
place of neutrality, so when youopen up your bank account, you
(09:42):
aren't feeling that jarringfeeling in your body.
Okay, so we're building up ourcapacity with our nervous system
to just be with our money, andthis is a skillset of being the
person who looks and paysattention to her money.
Right, who is the woman thatpays attention to her money?
We always say we want moremoney, but are we taking care of
(10:02):
the money that we have now?
Sometimes the answer is no.
It's not a place where we needto shame and guilt ourselves if
that's the answer, and also wecan do differently right?
Who's the person that, whatevernumber you're wanting to have,
how is she interacting with hermoney?
She has to start doing thatright now.
You know we're taught to workfor money right, trading our
(10:25):
time for dollars versus creatingincome streams and assets that
will fund our lifestyle.
You know, I think business isone of our biggest assets
because it's our mind right, ourmindset, our systems in place,
our assets that we're building,that that is a big asset for us.
(10:49):
You know there are other typesof investments, like the stock
market or real estate orwhatever else you might be
investing in, but I just want toencourage you to get curious,
like what types of investmentsdo you actually want to become
interested in?
I used to invest in the stockmarket and that is one of the
ways that we generated ourwealth, and that is one of the
(11:14):
ways that we generated ourwealth.
And then, once I started tokind of diving in more to the
stock market, who's actuallycontrolling some of those bigger
stocks, how it really works,all the behind the scenes I
don't know right now if that's astrategy that I want to
continue to use.
Moving forward, may I will.
I maybe possibly make adifferent decision in six months
or a year, yes, but at the timecurrently, as I record this,
(11:38):
april 2025, we've decided to useour money, I should say, or
invest our money a little bitdifferently, just because of the
way that the stock market hasbeen.
So start with basic stuff,right?
(11:59):
Ask your financial plannerquestions that you may not
understand.
Make them explain why they haveyou in these specific funds.
How often are they reallocatingfor you?
What is their plan and yourplan for these investments?
How are they tax favorable,like?
There's so many questions thatyou get to ask because they are
working with you.
And if you're like, oh, I don'twanna do that, I don't enjoy
that, then I have to ask you,why are you investing that way
(12:21):
then?
If that doesn't light you up,if you're not excited about it,
then what do you wanna invest inthat feels really good?
Are you investing in the marketbecause someone said that's
what you should do, or are youinvesting in the market because
you love it and you're genuinelycurious about it and you want
to learn more?
The third one is just how tobreak free from scarcity mindset
.
I know I feel like sometimesI'm like talking like a broken
(12:43):
record, but I think that this isso important because if you
grew up hearing things like it'sso expensive or we can't afford
that, then those beliefs youknow, basically, between the
time that we're born until aboutage seven or eight, we are just
absorbing.
So everything from everyonearound us, obviously our parents
, cause we're with them the most.
(13:04):
So those beliefs that just wentinto our subconscious up until
age seven, if we aren't aware ofthem, that's the program that
we're running and that is whatwill create our financial
reality.
So, starting now, rewiring yourmindset right, questioning
those old beliefs, findingevidence of the opposite that is
(13:26):
true, replacing them with moresufficient and abundant ways of
thinking.
Become the watcher of yourthoughts, right?
We have, we're the only speciesthat has the ability to
actually think about what we'rethinking about, right?
So become that person whothinks about what you're
(13:48):
thinking about and what yourbody is actually feeling when
you interact with your money.
Start practicing daily newthoughts that are conducive to a
woman that not only has themoney in her bank account and
investments, but truly feelswealthy.
What does wealth actually feellike in your body?
Not how much you have in yourbank account and then I'm
(14:10):
wealthy.
What does that actually feellike in your body with ease?
Number four is you know how dowe get to start spending
guilt-free, right, and stillbuild our wealth.
I think so often we're taughtto either save everything or
it's like this pendulum swingright Either there are some of
us that like spend recklessly orjust without awareness I don't
(14:36):
want to say recklessly, but wespend without awareness or
there's those of us that reallysave and invest a lot or over
save and there's a balance right.
Spending with intention is key,creating a values-based spending
plan where your money flowstowards what matters to you.
(14:58):
And I really like to look at itas my money flows.
My money flows on things that Icare about.
Right, and think about thattrickle effect of when I use my
money.
Let's just say, if you go outto eat and you spend time with
your family, my money is.
Let's just say, if you go outto eat and you spend like time
with your family, like my moneyis getting to circulate because
I got to spend time with myfamily, the server had helped us
(15:20):
and that money gets to go tothem and then they get to use it
in a way that feels fun forthem.
So really starting to spend yourmoney in ways that you find
value and they're going to lookdifferent, you know, than
someone else's, or even your,even your spouses, and that's
(15:40):
okay, I think, allowing yourself, each of you, to have your own
spending plan on things that youvalue.
So maybe it's starting small Ifyou're someone who never spends
money on themselves.
I was talking to a girlfriendand she's like I don't know if
she said she'd never gotten apedicure or she just hasn't
gotten one in years.
But if that's something that'simportant to you and you're not
(16:01):
doing, starting to do that on aconsistent basis, allocating
funds so that you can spend thatmoney guilt-free.
So obviously, be kind to yournervous system.
If you're not spending anymoney and then you want to start
spending $1,000 a month, thatmay be too big of a jump, right?
But maybe $100 a month for eachof you to see how that feels
Just start doing it.
(16:22):
Start using and allocating someamount of money for you that
you get to have just for you,same thing with your spouse, and
what this will do is you'll seereally quickly what stories you
have around spending onyourself and not your kids,
right?
I think a lot of times we havemom guilt, which is a social
construct completely made up,but we have mom guilt around
(16:43):
spending on ourselves and notour kids, and that's going to
bring up those feelings, thoselower vibration emotions of
feeling shame or guilt, and thatis coming up to be healed, to
be transcended and workedthrough right.
It's an invitation for you togo deeper and to see what
stories and beliefs here thatare creating this feeling of
(17:06):
shame and guilt.
And the last one is how to buildfinancial freedom on your own
terms.
I have mentioned in previousepisodes I don't believe
financial freedom is a number.
It's not just about saving forretirement.
It's about creating options andflexibility and choice, and I
(17:30):
think the financial industry hasbeen conditioned to have us
believing that we're going tomake a lot of money, invest it
and then retire.
And I don't necessarily know ifI agree with this.
I think this might be some ofthe most limiting advice.
When we act from this space,right, we assume that we will
never work again.
I mean, wasn't Betty White theone that, like, worked and she
(17:51):
passed away?
Like, when you're doing workyou love, why are we retiring?
You know, when we act from thisspace, we assume we're never
going to work again, that thismoney that we're creating now
has to last us until we die, andthat just feels very limiting,
nevermind what we're telling ourbodies about when we retire,
(18:12):
right, if we're thinking about,okay, well, when we retire, then
the next stage is death.
What are we prepping our bodiesfor?
So, if we're working to investand accumulate to finally get to
do what we really want to do,if this resonates with you, then
(18:32):
the question is why aren't wedoing that right now?
Why aren't we enjoying what wehave right now and working and
doing work we love right now?
Like one of the questions Iused to ask my clients when I
was getting clear on, you know,their financial plan was what do
you want to do in retirement?
And they would share with meand I would always be curious of
(18:56):
like, well, why aren't we doingsome of that right now?
Right, if your answer is I'mgoing to start doing X, y, z
kind of work, then the questionthen becomes why aren't we doing
that right now?
Which that's going to bring uplimiting beliefs.
If the question, if the answeris you know, I want to travel
more, well, why aren't wetraveling more right now?
I think one of the biggest ahasI mean, I always say one of the
(19:19):
biggest ahas but I think onething that I really have thought
about, as my parents havestarted to I don't like to say
the word age, as they've beenaround the sun more than I have
is that there are differentseasons of our life, like what
might you be able to do rightnow that you may not be able to
(19:40):
do when you're 80 or even wantto do Right?
So I think, really starting toget some clarity around.
Am I prolonging something Imean?
So many times I hear people belike well, when I retire, I'm
going to go travel Europe.
Well, are you going to be inthe best health, which I believe
I will be.
But if you're holding offbecause you think sometime in
(20:04):
the future is better, I justwant to encourage you and
challenge that line of thinkingand really asking yourself what
can I do right now that maybe Imay or may not be able to do at
10 or 15, 20 years from now?
You know I talk about how wetook off with our daughter and,
(20:25):
yes, do I think that there willbe more opportunities for us to
do that?
Absolutely.
Do I also think she's gettinginto a place where she's going
to get into high school?
I mean, she's already started.
She's like mom, I don't want totravel like as much as you want
to like.
I want to stay and I want to bein school the entire time.
I'm in school.
So there was a window ofopportunity that we got to have
(20:45):
because she didn't really caretoo much about school and
friends, but now she really does.
So what are some things that youmay might be prolonging or, you
know, pushing off to some laterdate, that maybe it might not
be as easy or you might not bein that state of mind to do it
(21:05):
at some point later down theroad?
So define what financialfreedom actually looks like for
you.
It's not a number, right.
It's about how you want to feelabout money.
Okay, so to recap one, how toconfidently manage our cashflow
with ease, how do we make moneywork for us, how do we break
(21:28):
free from scarcity mindset, howto spend guilt-free and still
build our wealth, and then howto build financial freedom on
our own terms.
Start looking and playing withthese in a way that feels good
for you, and I want you to knowif this episode resonated with
(21:51):
you, if it spoke to you, thatyou are not behind, no matter
where you are.
Right now you can learn theseskills and we can shift the
trajectory of our financialfuture and if this is something
that you want one-on-one supportwith, I would love and be
honored to walk beside you alongthis journey.
(22:13):
You can schedule a link in myshow notes or you can go to my
websitegeneratealifewelllivedcom.
Click on the link, work with meand schedule a call.
We will dive in for that firsthour.
You know, looking at your goals,what you want to create, gain
financial clarity around whereyou are and then work towards
that together.
(22:33):
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Did you learn something today?
Do you know another femaleentrepreneur who might be
avoiding her money?
Will you send this episode overto her for me and, if you have
it in you, please leave me areview for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
See you next week.
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