May 5, 2025 • 20 mins
Got a question? Send me a text.
Are you clinging to your savings out of fear? What might look like smart money management on the outside can often be driven by unresolved money trauma beneath the surface.
In this episode, I’m diving into how financial fear can manifest—even when you're doing “everything right.” I share my personal experience of saving a large percentage of my income while still feeling anxious and unsafe with money, and how I realized that true financial peace doesn't come from a number in the bank, but from the beliefs we hold about money itself.
In this episode you'll learn:
- How behaviors like extreme frugality, over-saving, or constant anxiety are often rooted in past experiences
- What it means to shift from scarcity to sufficiency—and why that matters more than budgeting
- Practical steps to start healing your nervous system and rewire your relationship with money
Money trauma can live in your body long after the financial event is over. But with awareness, intention, and support, you can move from fear into freedom—and finally feel safe to enjoy what you’ve worked so hard to build.
Want to learn more? Here are your next steps:
Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.
Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.
➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915
Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart
Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?
➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart
Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?
Let’s create a strategy that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.
➡️ Schedule your 1-hour Money Mastery Call here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/11-support
Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a strategy that feels nurturing and custom to you.
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
If you've ever found yourself holding on too tightly
to your money, whether it'shoarding, saving every penny or
just feeling anxious aboutspending, it might seem like
that's actually a good thing.
And after all, haven't we allbeen taught to be frugal and
cautious with our money?
And what if clinginess isactually a sign of something
deeper, a deeper money traumathat's affecting your financial
(00:23):
well-being?
In today's episode, I'munpacking why being overly
attached to our money could be asign of money trauma and what
you can do to shift your mindsetand behavior around money.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
(00:43):
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
I know the fear that you'refeeling right now because, like
(01:04):
me and so many of my otherclients, they have been exactly
where you have been, worryingabout whether you're truly
making the right decisions withyour money.
Maybe you're feeling anxiousabout whether you're saving
enough, investing wisely, oreven if you're even doing the
right things at all.
The pressure can feeloverwhelming, like a constant
weight you're carrying.
(01:24):
You may wonder if you'requalified to even manage your
finances or if you're even onthe right path.
I want you to know you are notalone in these fears.
Every woman that I have everhelped who has overcome her
financial overwhelm has felt theexact same way that you do
right now.
Every success story that beginswith someone saying I'm going
to take control, I'm going tochoose differently.
(01:47):
And even though the fear feelsreal in your body, the truth is
you can still take charge ofyour money and make empowered
decisions.
If you're ready to stop lettingfear hold you back, if you're
ready to break free from feelingstuck or unsure about your
financial future, then today isthe day to make that change.
I'm here to help you do it.
(02:08):
I'll walk beside you, guidingyou every step of the way.
Together, we'll work throughthe fear, break down the
emotional barriers and help youcreate a plan that makes sense
and feels good for you, so youcan finally feel calm and
confident with your money.
If you're ready to take chargeof your money and make the
changes you've been longing for.
(02:28):
I want you to say yes For once.
Say yes to you.
Let's work together andovercome that fear.
You can head over to my websitegeneratealifewelllivedcom to
schedule your one hour sessionand let's get started.
Okay, so first of all, let mejust say I am not a therapist.
This is not a formal diagnosisof money trauma.
(02:48):
I am speaking just from my ownexperience and what I have seen
clients go through and leaningon therapists that I have talked
to and books that I have readon money trauma.
So I want you to know take whatresonates, leave the wet, the
rest.
And that's always for my case,for all of my podcasts or advice
, and I always want to justempower you to use my teachings,
(03:10):
to ponder them and use it inways that are helpful for you to
transform your relationshipwith money.
So now that I've got that wholedisclaimer out of the way, I
just want you to know that Ihave been there.
I used to have constant feararound losing money.
It even sometimes still comesup.
As I'm up leveling, thoselittle intrusive thoughts come
up and and and those feelings,you know, rear up and it's just
(03:34):
an invitation for me to godeeper and to work through even
at a deeper level.
I have saved.
You know, when my husband and Iwere married before our child,
I would call it incessantly likeat times probably around 40% of
our income, and that wasn'tnecessarily when we were high
earners.
(03:54):
You know, I would try to cutout all the air quotes,
unnecessary expenses, evenavoiding spending money on
things that would improve mylife, because I was afraid Now
one could say that it probablyset me up right To be able to
(04:15):
take some time off over the lastcouple of years.
But let me tell you, man, ohman, it felt like crap in my
body.
Getting to that place right,Getting to the place of that
dollar amount did not feel goodon the way there.
So it was when I actuallydecided to take time off from
work is when I truly realizedthat my relationship with money
wasn't just about numbers in thebank account.
(04:37):
It was really tied to that deepemotional wounds and past
experiences that I had beenrepressing and suppressing by
saving and investing andoverworking.
I think sometimes our actionscan cover up what we're actually
feeling because we don't taketime to actually be still and to
(04:57):
ponder and to be with ouremotions and where we are.
So what is money trauma?
Money trauma doesn't alwayslook like what most people think
, you know, like being broke orstruggling financially.
It's happens to those of uswith money and, like I said, I'm
not a trained therapist, butwhat I have seen, what has been
(05:19):
explained to me, courses I havetaken on money trauma Many of my
clients present that way.
I obviously had money traumaand we think as a society that
money trauma is for people thatdon't have money.
But what I have noticed intalking to a lot of people with
money is we experienced this.
(05:41):
It can show up with anxietyaround spending, having a
deep-seated fear of financialscarcity or even avoidance of
your finances altogether.
Money trauma is the emotionaland it's the psychological
wounds that we carry surroundingmoney.
It's often rooted in ancestralexperiences, family dynamics and
(06:06):
beliefs, past experiences,societal influences and
oppression.
And I want you to know thattrauma is not the event, it's
the aftermath, it's the debris,it's the displacement, it's the
broken trust, it's the loss offeeling safe and it's the
disruption of what was known,and then it's replaced with fear
(06:29):
and uncertainty about what'snext.
I had a therapist once explainit to me like this.
The example she gave was atornado hitting your home is a
traumatic event.
The tornado touches down, itcauses a disruption and it goes
on about its way, but the traumais actually the aftermath of
(06:50):
the tornado.
Right?
The broken windows, the debris,the hole in the roof, things
that are no longer in theiroriginal places.
This home is now submerged inchaos.
You don't know where things are, you feel violated and there's
an increase in sense ofvulnerability.
If the windows are now broken,there's a hole in the roof, you
(07:11):
are now more susceptible to theoutside elements and things
start to impact you differently.
Right, your protection hasdiminished.
The tornado is gone and nowyou're responsible for the
cleanup and the repair, and soit's not just the event, right,
that's not really what it is.
It's all of the after effectthat occurs because of what the
(07:34):
event is.
So Gabor Mate he's an amazingpsychologist.
I love him.
He describes trauma is not whathappens to you, it's what
happens inside of you.
So trauma is a psychic injurylodged in our nervous system,
our mind, our body, lasting longpast those originating
(07:55):
incidents and being able to betriggered at any moment based on
that circumstance.
So I'm going to go over justsome signs of money and
financial trauma.
This isn't an end all be all.
I'm not a therapist, but I'mjust going over what some of the
things I've experienced formyself classes that I've taken,
therapists that I've talked toabout this.
So signs of money or financialtrauma are behaviors endorsed by
(08:20):
people who have financiallyinduced stress include financial
behaviors such as avoidance orprocrastination, denial around
healthy financial choices anddifficulty planning, organizing
and managing their financiallives.
So why I think clinginess tomoney might be a sign of money
(08:44):
trauma is because when you'reexcessively clingy or anxious
about money, it can stem fromthat lack of trust either in
yourself or the world around you.
You know, fear of loss cantrigger a cycle of saving and
holding onto money, even if itmeans sacrificing your quality
of life in the present.
(09:04):
And I know I've mentioned thisand I've also been very candid
about my experience with myparents when I was younger,
around 10.
And my dad was trying to informme and empower me and teach me
some things about money.
And also as a 10 year old, mybody didn't really grasp that
(09:24):
right, like our prefrontalcortex in our brain hasn't been
built so or fully formed.
I should say so.
We can't, even though he wascoming from a place I know now
from such love and empowerment,and he was trying to teach me
valuable lessons about money.
When you are around people whoare extremely stressed and
(09:45):
fearful with money, we pick upon that energy, our body picks
that up.
So that fear of loss that myparents experienced, that
impacted me right, I picked upon that.
And it doesn't necessarily meanto have to be mean that words
that were said right, I pickedup on that.
And it doesn't necessarily meanto have to be mean that words
that were said right.
It's the energy that my parentswere in for those years that
(10:06):
they were going through thatoften, you know, this fear comes
from early experiences of lackor financial instability.
So think about, like generations, like what your grandparents
probably went through.
I know my grandfather wasliterally in the great
depression, like he told methings that he was going through
(10:28):
when the great depression washappening and that formed his
belief system around money,about the way that the world
works, and so if you're notaware of this, and then he
parented my dad and he taughtthem, you know he taught him,
and my uncles and my aunt, youknow that money's really hard
and you have to hold on to money, and I mean my grandpa used to
(10:50):
like save screws.
I mean just so much.
He had so many millions ofdollars in his bank account, but
he really what I call actedfrom such a poverty conscious
mentality because the greatdepression was so impactful for
him.
So when we think about ourgrandparents teaching our
parents which then ultimately,right, our parents are parenting
(11:13):
us and they're they're passingdown these same beliefs this
might cause a person to feelthat money is the source of
safety and control.
So I want to talk about thecycle of clean.
It's like cleanliness doesn'tjust affect our spending habits.
It can also prevent us frominvesting in the future or
(11:35):
living life more free andtrusting.
So if you feel like money islike the means of survival which
, on the one hand, there istruth to that right, like we do
need money to live, to eat, topay our mortgage, right, and
(11:56):
also, when we come to it fromthat place of that deep, it's
one thing to like understandthat yeah, like, yeah, money.
It does allow us to eat, itdoes allow us to pay our
mortgage.
When it's another thing of likeI have to have this money, we
might hold onto it too tightlyand unable to let it go and
trust that more is going to come.
(12:17):
And trust that more is going tocome.
And I think that the more deeperissue here is healing that fear
and possibly the trauma that wehave around money, you know,
rather than just focusing onexternal actions like I used to,
like I would just save more,I'll just make more, I'll just,
you know, spend less.
You know we actually have toget to the root cause, because
(12:43):
what we do, right, what we, whatwe grow, grows.
So if you're thinking that,well, if you just get more money
, but you still haven't reallygotten to the root issue of your
mindset of that, those feelingsin your body, there will be no
(13:04):
amount of money that is going toever make you feel safe.
So how do we shift out of thismindset?
Recognize right, celebrate.
Start by identifying where yourfear of loss came from.
Is it from childhoodexperiences?
Is it from a past financialloss?
(13:25):
This is an invitation for youto go within and give yourself
so much love.
Now, I don't think it ishelpful if we're going to go
down the rabbit hole and that'swhere we're going to because we
can almost use that as a way toavoid feeling what we're feeling
.
So I don't necessarilyencourage, in the moment when
these feelings are coming up, Idon't encourage you to go down
(13:46):
the rabbit hole and figure outwhere this came from.
And if you are going to go downthe rabbit hole, don't spend a
whole lot of time there, becauseit can.
It can just keep us in thatsearching mode versus clearly
there's something here that'sasking to be looked at, released
, and that's what I'm going tofocus on.
But if you want to, if you wantto get curious, then you can
(14:11):
and just and and after you feltwhat you needed to feel, and
really just get curious, but notstay in there.
The second, and I think isreally important, is healing
this trauma.
I don't know if I I think thatthe you know spirituality and
the personal development space,like I think there's lots of
differing opinions.
I don't know if we ever fullyheal all of our things right
(14:35):
Like I.
I truly this is my belief but Ibelieve our soul came to earth
to experience and to grow, andthe way that we do that is to
constantly be expanding andworking through obstacles, so
thinking that there will neverbe a point where you ever have
to deal with X, y, z again.
I don't know if that is a veryserving thought and it almost
(14:57):
feels like resistance in thebody because it's like, oh well,
once I get to this place, butlike, if we can make peace with,
we're always going to have this, but it's just going to be less
and less intense in our bodyand our refractory period is
going to get shorter and shorter.
I think that's the skillset thatwe're trying to build.
So doing the inner work to workthrough those emotional wounds
(15:21):
around money can help yourelease that grip, that feeling
to hold on tight that you havearound your finances.
You know, work with a therapistor seek out a coach this is
something that I do with clientsas well that have experience
with this so that you can workthrough it, trust and let go.
(15:44):
I think it's easier said thandone, it's a practice, it's a
skillset, but the more that youcan build a healthy relationship
with money, where it's seen asa tool for freedom, not as a
source of fear, the more thatyou're going to be able to let
go and live more fully.
And I think this really has todo with our capacity to have
(16:07):
right, as as I expand mycapacity to have more joy, more
fun, more ease, more flow.
I start to bump up against someof this stuff.
Right, and that's normal,because we're expanding and
we're growing.
So this is a skillset, and theway that we get good at things
is we practice right.
(16:27):
We have to consciously feed thethoughts and beliefs and
emotions that we want to havewith money.
And then I think the last thingis practicing sufficiency.
You know, if abundance feelstoo much of a jump for your
nervous system, I thinkpracticing sufficiency.
So, instead of hoarding,practicing small intentional
(16:50):
acts of giving, of spendingmoney in ways that light you up,
and investing in ways thatlight you up to help you feel
more in alignment withsufficiency and abundance,
because when you feel abundantand you might have to in the
beginning do what I call isgrafting, so where is a place
(17:13):
that you feel totally abundantin or totally sufficient?
What do you think about thatsituation?
Probably might not think hardlyanything at all, cause you
trust it right.
You know it's going to be there.
Like I know that my spouse isone that I feel totally abundant
in.
Like I know he's always goingto be there.
I know that he loves me.
I know that we are going towork through anything it's going
(17:35):
to be fine.
So, leaning on that, like usingthat as an example, looking at
how, how do I do?
I sit there and wonder like, ishe out doing something I don't
want him to do?
Is he cheating on me?
Is he going to be there when Icome home?
Like I don't ever have any ofthose thoughts, like I don't
think anything actually, like Ijust know he's going to be.
(17:56):
Like, if he says he's cominghome at X time, he's going to
show up at that time.
If he says he's going to do X,y, z, he does it right.
So there's so much trust there.
So, using certain circumstancesin your life or certain other
relationships that youwholeheartedly trust and feel so
abundant and so at peace withyou, can use those types of
(18:17):
relationships to then graft tohow you want to have an
experience, money, okay.
So to recap, first and foremost, awareness, recognizing the
fear right, Giving yourself aninvitation to go within and
giving yourself so much love,working through, processing and
healing some of this trauma,doing that inner work to work
(18:38):
through those wounds, thoseemotional wounds that we have
around money, so that we canrelease some of that grip that
we have, learning to trust,learning to let go and surrender
and surrender doesn't mean justgive up.
Surrender means no attachment,surrender means letting go.
So the more that you can builda healthy relationship with
(18:59):
money, where you get to see itas a tool, where it's neutral,
not a source of fear, then themore you're able to let go and
then finally just practicingsufficiency, abundance giving
and spending and investing inways that light your soul on
fire.
Okay, that's all I've got foryou today.
If you recognize yourself inthis episode, I want to say
(19:23):
celebrate you right.
Awareness is the first step andif you want to work through some
of these feelings you might befeeling around your money so
that you can start managing itconsistently, stop avoiding it,
really get clear on yourfinancial position and really
start to have a relationshipwith money that you love, that
feels fun and free and maybethat feels too far of a jump
(19:45):
right now, but where you get tofeel neutral about money, where
you look at your money, whereyou use it as a tool, I would
love to support you.
You can click the link in myshow notes to schedule a call,
or you can just go to my websitegeneratealifewelllivedcom and
click on work with me andschedule a call.
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
(20:06):
Did you learn something today?
Do you know another femaleentrepreneur who might be
avoiding her money?
Will you send this episode overto her for me and, if you have
it in you, please leave me areview for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
See you next week.
If you've ever found yourself holding on too tightly
to your money, whether it'shoarding, saving every penny or
just feeling anxious aboutspending, it might seem like
that's actually a good thing.
And after all, haven't we allbeen taught to be frugal and
cautious with our money?
And what if clinginess isactually a sign of something
deeper, a deeper money traumathat's affecting your financial
(00:23):
well-being?
In today's episode, I'munpacking why being overly
attached to our money could be asign of money trauma and what
you can do to shift your mindsetand behavior around money.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
(00:43):
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
I know the fear that you'refeeling right now because, like
(01:04):
me and so many of my otherclients, they have been exactly
where you have been, worryingabout whether you're truly
making the right decisions withyour money.
Maybe you're feeling anxiousabout whether you're saving
enough, investing wisely, oreven if you're even doing the
right things at all.
The pressure can feeloverwhelming, like a constant
weight you're carrying.
(01:24):
You may wonder if you'requalified to even manage your
finances or if you're even onthe right path.
I want you to know you are notalone in these fears.
Every woman that I have everhelped who has overcome her
financial overwhelm has felt theexact same way that you do
right now.
Every success story that beginswith someone saying I'm going
to take control, I'm going tochoose differently.
(01:47):
And even though the fear feelsreal in your body, the truth is
you can still take charge ofyour money and make empowered
decisions.
If you're ready to stop lettingfear hold you back, if you're
ready to break free from feelingstuck or unsure about your
financial future, then today isthe day to make that change.
I'm here to help you do it.
(02:08):
I'll walk beside you, guidingyou every step of the way.
Together, we'll work throughthe fear, break down the
emotional barriers and help youcreate a plan that makes sense
and feels good for you, so youcan finally feel calm and
confident with your money.
If you're ready to take chargeof your money and make the
changes you've been longing for.
(02:28):
I want you to say yes For once.
Say yes to you.
Let's work together andovercome that fear.
You can head over to my websitegeneratealifewelllivedcom to
schedule your one hour sessionand let's get started.
Okay, so first of all, let mejust say I am not a therapist.
This is not a formal diagnosisof money trauma.
(02:48):
I am speaking just from my ownexperience and what I have seen
clients go through and leaningon therapists that I have talked
to and books that I have readon money trauma.
So I want you to know take whatresonates, leave the wet, the
rest.
And that's always for my case,for all of my podcasts or advice
, and I always want to justempower you to use my teachings,
(03:10):
to ponder them and use it inways that are helpful for you to
transform your relationshipwith money.
So now that I've got that wholedisclaimer out of the way, I
just want you to know that Ihave been there.
I used to have constant feararound losing money.
It even sometimes still comesup.
As I'm up leveling, thoselittle intrusive thoughts come
up and and and those feelings,you know, rear up and it's just
(03:34):
an invitation for me to godeeper and to work through even
at a deeper level.
I have saved.
You know, when my husband and Iwere married before our child,
I would call it incessantly likeat times probably around 40% of
our income, and that wasn'tnecessarily when we were high
earners.
(03:54):
You know, I would try to cutout all the air quotes,
unnecessary expenses, evenavoiding spending money on
things that would improve mylife, because I was afraid Now
one could say that it probablyset me up right To be able to
(04:15):
take some time off over the lastcouple of years.
But let me tell you, man, ohman, it felt like crap in my
body.
Getting to that place right,Getting to the place of that
dollar amount did not feel goodon the way there.
So it was when I actuallydecided to take time off from
work is when I truly realizedthat my relationship with money
wasn't just about numbers in thebank account.
(04:37):
It was really tied to that deepemotional wounds and past
experiences that I had beenrepressing and suppressing by
saving and investing andoverworking.
I think sometimes our actionscan cover up what we're actually
feeling because we don't taketime to actually be still and to
(04:57):
ponder and to be with ouremotions and where we are.
So what is money trauma?
Money trauma doesn't alwayslook like what most people think
, you know, like being broke orstruggling financially.
It's happens to those of uswith money and, like I said, I'm
not a trained therapist, butwhat I have seen, what has been
(05:19):
explained to me, courses I havetaken on money trauma Many of my
clients present that way.
I obviously had money traumaand we think as a society that
money trauma is for people thatdon't have money.
But what I have noticed intalking to a lot of people with
money is we experienced this.
(05:41):
It can show up with anxietyaround spending, having a
deep-seated fear of financialscarcity or even avoidance of
your finances altogether.
Money trauma is the emotionaland it's the psychological
wounds that we carry surroundingmoney.
It's often rooted in ancestralexperiences, family dynamics and
(06:06):
beliefs, past experiences,societal influences and
oppression.
And I want you to know thattrauma is not the event, it's
the aftermath, it's the debris,it's the displacement, it's the
broken trust, it's the loss offeeling safe and it's the
disruption of what was known,and then it's replaced with fear
(06:29):
and uncertainty about what'snext.
I had a therapist once explainit to me like this.
The example she gave was atornado hitting your home is a
traumatic event.
The tornado touches down, itcauses a disruption and it goes
on about its way, but the traumais actually the aftermath of
(06:50):
the tornado.
Right?
The broken windows, the debris,the hole in the roof, things
that are no longer in theiroriginal places.
This home is now submerged inchaos.
You don't know where things are, you feel violated and there's
an increase in sense ofvulnerability.
If the windows are now broken,there's a hole in the roof, you
(07:11):
are now more susceptible to theoutside elements and things
start to impact you differently.
Right, your protection hasdiminished.
The tornado is gone and nowyou're responsible for the
cleanup and the repair, and soit's not just the event, right,
that's not really what it is.
It's all of the after effectthat occurs because of what the
(07:34):
event is.
So Gabor Mate he's an amazingpsychologist.
I love him.
He describes trauma is not whathappens to you, it's what
happens inside of you.
So trauma is a psychic injurylodged in our nervous system,
our mind, our body, lasting longpast those originating
(07:55):
incidents and being able to betriggered at any moment based on
that circumstance.
So I'm going to go over justsome signs of money and
financial trauma.
This isn't an end all be all.
I'm not a therapist, but I'mjust going over what some of the
things I've experienced formyself classes that I've taken,
therapists that I've talked toabout this.
So signs of money or financialtrauma are behaviors endorsed by
(08:20):
people who have financiallyinduced stress include financial
behaviors such as avoidance orprocrastination, denial around
healthy financial choices anddifficulty planning, organizing
and managing their financiallives.
So why I think clinginess tomoney might be a sign of money
(08:44):
trauma is because when you'reexcessively clingy or anxious
about money, it can stem fromthat lack of trust either in
yourself or the world around you.
You know, fear of loss cantrigger a cycle of saving and
holding onto money, even if itmeans sacrificing your quality
of life in the present.
(09:04):
And I know I've mentioned thisand I've also been very candid
about my experience with myparents when I was younger,
around 10.
And my dad was trying to informme and empower me and teach me
some things about money.
And also as a 10 year old, mybody didn't really grasp that
(09:24):
right, like our prefrontalcortex in our brain hasn't been
built so or fully formed.
I should say so.
We can't, even though he wascoming from a place I know now
from such love and empowerment,and he was trying to teach me
valuable lessons about money.
When you are around people whoare extremely stressed and
(09:45):
fearful with money, we pick upon that energy, our body picks
that up.
So that fear of loss that myparents experienced, that
impacted me right, I picked upon that.
And it doesn't necessarily meanto have to be mean that words
that were said right, I pickedup on that.
And it doesn't necessarily meanto have to be mean that words
that were said right.
It's the energy that my parentswere in for those years that
(10:06):
they were going through thatoften, you know, this fear comes
from early experiences of lackor financial instability.
So think about, like generations, like what your grandparents
probably went through.
I know my grandfather wasliterally in the great
depression, like he told methings that he was going through
(10:28):
when the great depression washappening and that formed his
belief system around money,about the way that the world
works, and so if you're notaware of this, and then he
parented my dad and he taughtthem, you know he taught him,
and my uncles and my aunt, youknow that money's really hard
and you have to hold on to money, and I mean my grandpa used to
(10:50):
like save screws.
I mean just so much.
He had so many millions ofdollars in his bank account, but
he really what I call actedfrom such a poverty conscious
mentality because the greatdepression was so impactful for
him.
So when we think about ourgrandparents teaching our
parents which then ultimately,right, our parents are parenting
(11:13):
us and they're they're passingdown these same beliefs this
might cause a person to feelthat money is the source of
safety and control.
So I want to talk about thecycle of clean.
It's like cleanliness doesn'tjust affect our spending habits.
It can also prevent us frominvesting in the future or
(11:35):
living life more free andtrusting.
So if you feel like money islike the means of survival which
, on the one hand, there istruth to that right, like we do
need money to live, to eat, topay our mortgage, right, and
(11:56):
also, when we come to it fromthat place of that deep, it's
one thing to like understandthat yeah, like, yeah, money.
It does allow us to eat, itdoes allow us to pay our
mortgage.
When it's another thing of likeI have to have this money, we
might hold onto it too tightlyand unable to let it go and
trust that more is going to come.
(12:17):
And trust that more is going tocome.
And I think that the more deeperissue here is healing that fear
and possibly the trauma that wehave around money, you know,
rather than just focusing onexternal actions like I used to,
like I would just save more,I'll just make more, I'll just,
you know, spend less.
You know we actually have toget to the root cause, because
(12:43):
what we do, right, what we, whatwe grow, grows.
So if you're thinking that,well, if you just get more money
, but you still haven't reallygotten to the root issue of your
mindset of that, those feelingsin your body, there will be no
(13:04):
amount of money that is going toever make you feel safe.
So how do we shift out of thismindset?
Recognize right, celebrate.
Start by identifying where yourfear of loss came from.
Is it from childhoodexperiences?
Is it from a past financialloss?
(13:25):
This is an invitation for youto go within and give yourself
so much love.
Now, I don't think it ishelpful if we're going to go
down the rabbit hole and that'swhere we're going to because we
can almost use that as a way toavoid feeling what we're feeling
.
So I don't necessarilyencourage, in the moment when
these feelings are coming up, Idon't encourage you to go down
(13:46):
the rabbit hole and figure outwhere this came from.
And if you are going to go downthe rabbit hole, don't spend a
whole lot of time there, becauseit can.
It can just keep us in thatsearching mode versus clearly
there's something here that'sasking to be looked at, released
, and that's what I'm going tofocus on.
But if you want to, if you wantto get curious, then you can
(14:11):
and just and and after you feltwhat you needed to feel, and
really just get curious, but notstay in there.
The second, and I think isreally important, is healing
this trauma.
I don't know if I I think thatthe you know spirituality and
the personal development space,like I think there's lots of
differing opinions.
I don't know if we ever fullyheal all of our things right
(14:35):
Like I.
I truly this is my belief but Ibelieve our soul came to earth
to experience and to grow, andthe way that we do that is to
constantly be expanding andworking through obstacles, so
thinking that there will neverbe a point where you ever have
to deal with X, y, z again.
I don't know if that is a veryserving thought and it almost
(14:57):
feels like resistance in thebody because it's like, oh well,
once I get to this place, butlike, if we can make peace with,
we're always going to have this, but it's just going to be less
and less intense in our bodyand our refractory period is
going to get shorter and shorter.
I think that's the skillset thatwe're trying to build.
So doing the inner work to workthrough those emotional wounds
(15:21):
around money can help yourelease that grip, that feeling
to hold on tight that you havearound your finances.
You know, work with a therapistor seek out a coach this is
something that I do with clientsas well that have experience
with this so that you can workthrough it, trust and let go.
(15:44):
I think it's easier said thandone, it's a practice, it's a
skillset, but the more that youcan build a healthy relationship
with money, where it's seen asa tool for freedom, not as a
source of fear, the more thatyou're going to be able to let
go and live more fully.
And I think this really has todo with our capacity to have
(16:07):
right, as as I expand mycapacity to have more joy, more
fun, more ease, more flow.
I start to bump up against someof this stuff.
Right, and that's normal,because we're expanding and
we're growing.
So this is a skillset, and theway that we get good at things
is we practice right.
(16:27):
We have to consciously feed thethoughts and beliefs and
emotions that we want to havewith money.
And then I think the last thingis practicing sufficiency.
You know, if abundance feelstoo much of a jump for your
nervous system, I thinkpracticing sufficiency.
So, instead of hoarding,practicing small intentional
(16:50):
acts of giving, of spendingmoney in ways that light you up,
and investing in ways thatlight you up to help you feel
more in alignment withsufficiency and abundance,
because when you feel abundantand you might have to in the
beginning do what I call isgrafting, so where is a place
(17:13):
that you feel totally abundantin or totally sufficient?
What do you think about thatsituation?
Probably might not think hardlyanything at all, cause you
trust it right.
You know it's going to be there.
Like I know that my spouse isone that I feel totally abundant
in.
Like I know he's always goingto be there.
I know that he loves me.
I know that we are going towork through anything it's going
(17:35):
to be fine.
So, leaning on that, like usingthat as an example, looking at
how, how do I do?
I sit there and wonder like, ishe out doing something I don't
want him to do?
Is he cheating on me?
Is he going to be there when Icome home?
Like I don't ever have any ofthose thoughts, like I don't
think anything actually, like Ijust know he's going to be.
(17:56):
Like, if he says he's cominghome at X time, he's going to
show up at that time.
If he says he's going to do X,y, z, he does it right.
So there's so much trust there.
So, using certain circumstancesin your life or certain other
relationships that youwholeheartedly trust and feel so
abundant and so at peace withyou, can use those types of
(18:17):
relationships to then graft tohow you want to have an
experience, money, okay.
So to recap, first and foremost, awareness, recognizing the
fear right, Giving yourself aninvitation to go within and
giving yourself so much love,working through, processing and
healing some of this trauma,doing that inner work to work
(18:38):
through those wounds, thoseemotional wounds that we have
around money, so that we canrelease some of that grip that
we have, learning to trust,learning to let go and surrender
and surrender doesn't mean justgive up.
Surrender means no attachment,surrender means letting go.
So the more that you can builda healthy relationship with
(18:59):
money, where you get to see itas a tool, where it's neutral,
not a source of fear, then themore you're able to let go and
then finally just practicingsufficiency, abundance giving
and spending and investing inways that light your soul on
fire.
Okay, that's all I've got foryou today.
If you recognize yourself inthis episode, I want to say
(19:23):
celebrate you right.
Awareness is the first step andif you want to work through some
of these feelings you might befeeling around your money so
that you can start managing itconsistently, stop avoiding it,
really get clear on yourfinancial position and really
start to have a relationshipwith money that you love, that
feels fun and free and maybethat feels too far of a jump
(19:45):
right now, but where you get tofeel neutral about money, where
you look at your money, whereyou use it as a tool, I would
love to support you.
You can click the link in myshow notes to schedule a call,
or you can just go to my websitegeneratealifewelllivedcom and
click on work with me andschedule a call.
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
(20:06):
Did you learn something today?
Do you know another femaleentrepreneur who might be
avoiding her money?
Will you send this episode overto her for me and, if you have
it in you, please leave me areview for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
See you next week.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Boysober
Have you ever wondered what life might be like if you stopped worrying about being wanted, and focused on understanding what you actually want? That was the question Hope Woodard asked herself after a string of situationships inspired her to take a break from sex and dating. She went "boysober," a personal concept that sparked a global movement among women looking to prioritize themselves over men. Now, Hope is looking to expand the ways we explore our relationship to relationships. Taking a bold, unfiltered look into modern love, romance, and self-discovery, Boysober will dive into messy stories about dating, sex, love, friendship, and breaking generational patterns—all with humor, vulnerability, and a fresh perspective.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com