May 26, 2025 • 18 mins
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Too many women in business walk out of meetings with their CPA, bookkeeper, or financial advisor feeling confused, unseen, or like they’ve lost a piece of their power. In this episode, I am breaking down why that happens—and what to do about it.
You’ll learn how to reclaim your authority in financial conversations, regulate your nervous system before stepping into money decisions, and create partnerships with your financial team that actually support your goals and values.
We explore:
- How women are conditioned to defer financial decisions to “more qualified” experts
- The role of financial trauma and nervous system dysregulation in fawn, freeze and flight
- Subtle signs you’re giving away your power (like nodding along when you’re confused or agreeing too quickly)
- How to ground yourself before financial meetings and ask questions that create true clarity
- Why your financial team should be working with you—not above you
If you’ve ever felt like your voice disappears in financial conversations, this episode will help you reconnect to your intuition and step back into the role of CEO—of your business, your body, and your money.
Want to learn more or connect with me?
Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.
Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.
➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915
Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart
Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?
➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart
Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?
Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/30-min-call-with-erin)
Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
Have you ever left your meeting with the CPA or
bookkeeper or financial planner,or even attorney, feeling
smaller, maybe more confused, orlike your voice didn't matter?
In this episode, I want to helpyou reclaim your power, because
your financial team is not theboss.
They are your partners and youget to be the CEO of your money.
(00:24):
They are your partners and youget to be the CEO of your money.
So, whether you have outsourcedtoo much of your authority or
you just want to feel moreconfident in money conversations
, this episode is for you.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to your
finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
(00:47):
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
You can have the savings andthe income and the investments
and still feel unsafe.
(01:07):
I know that, that feeling inyour chest, what that feels like
, that tension in your body whenyou check your accounts, the
fear that it could all disappearor that when is the other shoe
going to drop?
I've lived there as well, andwhat finally shifted for me
wasn't more money or a bettersystem.
It was learning how to feelsafe in my body while having
(01:31):
money.
You know, when we carry theseunprocessed fears, money can
become a source of stressinstead of a tool for expansion.
And when we regulate ournervous system and reconnect
with our inner wisdom, and whenwe regulate our nervous system
and reconnect with our innerwisdom, money becomes this
sacred partner, not something tocontrol or avoid.
If you're ready to soften yourgrip, release the fear and step
(01:55):
into a more grounded, intuitiverelationship with your wealth, I
would be honored to support you.
Schedule your one hour sessionat generatealifewelllivecom and
let's create a financial paththat supports both your nervous
system and your soul.
So let's dive into why do weoutsource our power.
(02:17):
You know many women and I havesaid this on numerous podcasts
many women are taught tooutsource their financial
decisions to someone morequalified.
I think that this is doneintentionally, even when we are
very young, right, I mean, we'renot talking about money how to
manage money, how to have money,investments, things of that in
schools Most of the time.
(02:39):
You know, if you are my age orof my generation forties,
fifties, sixties those aretypically the age of my clients
you know we weren't in a placewhere our voice was always
honored or respected and we havebeen taught to kind of
(02:59):
outsource our power to otherpeople.
This can come from, you know,financial trauma.
It can come from nervous systemdysregulation and that creates
that, you know, freeze or fawnresponse.
And if you look out, you know,in our, just our society, you
(03:21):
know our culture reallyhighlights and elevates what we
call as financial experts, rightas these authority figures, as
if because they have all of thiseducation, that they have all
of this knowledge and that theyknow what is best for us.
And I really want to encourageyou to.
(03:42):
Just because someone has moreknowledge than you doesn't know
that doesn't mean that they knowwhat's best for you.
You know, one of the questionsI always ask my clients is how
does this feel in your body?
Because you have to run itthrough your system first before
we just take action on this.
I think we are a society offast action takers and I do
(04:04):
believe that there is a placefor taking action and consistent
action.
You know, building up thatmomentum, but not before we
check in and we ask ourselvesdoes this feel good to me?
And we really have to slow downto see what the answer is,
because sometimes the answercould be like it doesn't feel
good but it's coming from aplace of fear which is very
(04:27):
different than this doesn't feelgood and this doesn't feel in
alignment with what I actuallywant.
So some signs that you mighthave or be giving away your
power is maybe when your advisorand when I say advisor I mean
bookkeeper, attorney, cpa,financial planner, whoever is
(04:49):
around helping you.
You know, if you are justnodding along in meetings but
you feel lost because you don'twant to interrupt, right you,
you might avoid asking questionsfrom coming from that place of
fear of like looking and I'm airquoting nobody is dumb, but
that is sometimes what womentell me like, oh, I didn't want
to, I didn't want to look dumbor I didn't want to feel stupid.
(05:12):
Um, maybe you have just blindlyfollowed an advice.
You know that doesn't feelaligned.
I know one of my clients.
I said I was asking her aquestion last week and I said
well, what made you say yes?
I said because what youintuitively knew ended up
happening.
So how did you get to thatplace?
She said I wanted to do what I.
(05:34):
You know what I just told you,and everyone else told me that I
was being a little bit tooharsh or too abrasive or I
wasn't being, you know,collaborative.
And so I really encourage youto listen to your intuition,
because your body, your soul,knows the way, your higher self
knows the way, and when we youknow, and and, and so I asked my
(05:56):
client.
I was like well, what was?
What do you think the lessonwas here.
And she's like to listen tomyself.
I'm like absolutely, you know,our intuition is our best
guidance.
And so really, you know, partof the work that I do with
clients is tapping back intothis trust that we have with
ourselves, with our true knowing, because we have abandoned
ourselves and we have abandoneda lot of times our intuition.
(06:18):
And so if you are just takingthe advice and running with it
before you are actually puttingit through your filter, that
might be one of the ways thatyou are outsourcing your power.
And you know it can be as simpleas just not knowing what your
CPA or bookkeeper is actuallydoing, like ask them questions,
(06:38):
like, if they are getting saucywith you because you were asking
questions, they may not be thebest bookkeeper or CPA for you.
I know that.
You know there have been somewomen that have felt like that
their CPA or that their attorneyhas talked down to them, and I
just want to encourage you.
You do not have to tolerateanything.
Um, they when I say they workfor you, what I mean is that
(07:02):
they are in a collaborativespace, a partnership with you.
They are not driving the bus.
You are, you are paying themand so, from that space of hey,
we are co-creating together, butyou're not the boss of me.
So if you feel like you can'task questions, I really want you
(07:23):
to ask yourself, first andforemost is that because of a
belief that I have or that'sactually what I am, you know, um
, experiencing with this personLike, are they talking down to
me?
Are they short with me?
Are they saying things likewe've already talked about this?
It's like that's fine.
We might need to talk aboutthis three or four more times
until I get it Like.
So I really want to encourageyou to check in with your body
(07:45):
the next time that you meet withyour bookkeeper or your CPA or
attorney or financial planner,like is this a meeting that you
look forward to going or is itnot?
And if it's not, where is thiscoming from?
Is this coming from how you arefeeling when you are with this
person?
That they don't they don'tnecessarily give off the vibe of
(08:06):
having fun and teaching you andencouraging you and supporting
you, because I want you to knowyou deserve to be supported and
to to have things explained to,even if that means multiple
times.
You know, like, sometimes I haveto tell you, know the CPA hey,
layman's terms here like breakit down to a five-year-old and
(08:28):
if they can't explain it to afive-year-old, that's on them,
not on you.
Right, they need to be able toexplain things to you in a very
basic, simple term.
So I want you to really startto shift your identity.
Right, you are the CEO of yourmoney.
So, like I already said, yourplanner, your CPA, your
bookkeeper, your attorneys theywork for you.
(08:50):
Your CPA insert whatever, right, they are consultants.
Right, they are not someone whodictates.
This is the way it goes.
I know I've mentioned beforethere have been multiple CPAs
that I have challenged, and thatis because, most often than not
, some CPAs.
(09:10):
They're trying to follow taxlaw, they're trying to minimize
any type of audits, but a lot oftimes their consciousness is
not where yours is right, so itis coming from a fear-based
place.
There is a difference betweentax evasion and tax avoidance.
Right, tax avoidance is a legalthing and sometimes there have
(09:31):
been more CPA different CPAsthat I've worked with that are
more on the side of fear andvery cautious because they're so
afraid versus some CPAs when Ipushed back they've been like,
yeah, okay, you know, I couldsee that.
So, really getting clear foryourself and understanding what
they are advising you on,understanding what they are
advising you on, and sometimes Iwill even ask that question is
(10:01):
this coming from you know, yourown fear, or actually what you
have seen?
Or because of what you'reinterpreting?
Like, tell me more about this.
You get to ask those questions.
You know you don't have to haveall of the answers.
You just need to feel empoweredto ask really powerful
questions.
Like, tell me more, tell me thereason why.
Like, I think that is such apowerful question because we get
to get into the mind of thisindividual.
So often, you know, people aregiving us their advice based on
(10:25):
their belief systems based ontheir consciousness, their
awareness, their wealthconsciousness, their you know,
their business consciousness.
So you have to ask questions sothat you can understand where
are they coming from, and Ibelieve that we all deserve to
have partners in our businessright.
I have always said like I don'twant to be the smartest person
(10:47):
in the room.
I want to have a team around methat helps me and knows more
than I do.
From a place of.
We are all empowered and we allhave our place Right, and so
when we outsource and we giveour power away to our advisors,
that's not the goal, that's notthe point.
So, really, looking at it fromthe framework of, I have a team
(11:11):
of people that help advise meand then I am the final one with
the decision right.
I'm the one that makesdecisions.
I run it through my filterfirst and then I make my
decision.
So how do you start to reclaimyour voice and regulate your
nervous system?
I think it starts even beforeyou go into a meeting.
(11:31):
So, when you know that you'regoing to hop on a call, what are
some grounding exercises thatyou can do for yourself?
What intention do you want toset for yourself, for your
advisor, for the two of youtogether, energetically, right,
making sure you write down yourquestions.
No matter how you know basicyou think they are, it's
(11:55):
important to have thosequestions written down because
then, because what happens is,if you are feeling dysregulated
in a meeting and you don't havethese questions, you probably
aren't going to remember.
I don't know if you feel thisway, but when I used to go to
the doctor I don't really go tothe doctor anymore, I don't even
have a primary care physicianbut when I used to go to the
doctor, I would most of the timehave my questions written down.
(12:19):
But if I didn't and I was feltfeeling rushed by them, because
you know they have to, like,comply with all of the quick ins
and outs and insurance andeverything, if I didn't have my
questions written down, I wouldfeel rushed and then I wouldn't,
I wouldn't remember myquestions.
So it's it's that same feeling.
So write your questions down,make sure you get them answered,
and answered to what feels youknow good to you, not from like
(12:45):
they've answered the question,but like do you actually
understand the answer that theyare giving you, and don't leave
until you do so.
Well, so, during the meeting.
What I have said multiple timesto advisors is you need to slow
it down a bit, and I know thatthat takes some um maybe working
(13:05):
into for you, because maybeyou've been told like you're too
harsh or you shouldn't say thator that.
That's you know a bitchy way tosay that.
You know what are some of thoselimiting beliefs that you might
have.
That came up for you when Isaid that.
But it's okay to tell them hey,slow it down, layman's terms
here.
Wait a second, go back, go backto that again, cause I don't
(13:26):
understand that.
So, starting to pause when youfeel confused, right, asking for
that plain language, layman'sterms what are you talking about
?
One of the things I think to getinto the habit of is saying
that you need time to ponder itor run it through your filter,
instead of agreeing withsomething immediately.
I think a lot of times mostoften, you know a lot of people
(13:50):
our advisors are probably inthis like rushed space, and so
if, if they are wanting you tomake a decision because they
want the decision to be made, tohurry up and do X, y, z or to
move on to the next client, orwhatever it might be like, it's
okay to give yourself time andspace, and I think when I say
ponder, I don't necessarily meango to your head, but I think
(14:13):
there is some value in slowingdown and really, like you know,
when you're in someone else'sorc space, being able to
energetically be out of theirspace, and to give yourself time
to ponder the conversationsthat were discussed.
I mean, you might even come upwith more questions after the
fact that you would want moreclarity on that.
(14:33):
You could, you know, call oremail them back and get clarity
before you make another decision, and I think that allowing
yourself the time to be able tomake a really grounded decision,
I think that that to me feelsvery loving and nourishing and,
like I said after the meeting,taking some time to ponder and
really think about.
(14:54):
I always say that no decisionmade from an emotional high or
an emotional low goes well right.
We want to get to the state ofneutrality, of clarity, and time
is on our side.
Now, if you are procrastinating, that's one thing, but I think
more often than not, from whatI've seen in my clients and
(15:16):
myself, we don't give ourselvesenough time to get to neutral.
We are acting from either ahigh or a low and we are rushing
the process.
So, giving yourself some time toafter the meeting to really
just be with yourself in yourenergetic or space yourself, so
you can get clear and, like Isaid, you know you're probably
(15:37):
going to have more questions andand that comes from allowing
yourself to be with yourself andto ponder what was discussed in
the meeting.
So questions you know to to askyour advisors is how does this
actually support my goals?
Like, first and foremost, ismaking sure that they know your
(15:58):
goals, they know what yourvision is and making sure that
it is supporting what, that youknow, those goals and what your
vision is.
I always, like I said, you know, explain it to me in simpler
terms or, if you can and youunderstand it, like, explain it
back to them and say I thinkthat this is what you're, you're
, you're telling me, is this, isthis what you mean?
And let them say yes or no.
(16:19):
Also, asking you know, arethere anything?
I always ask the question isthere anything that I haven't
asked yet?
That I need to ask Because theysee this all day, every day.
They may not be thinking ofthat because they're just in the
zone and so really be like hey,I may not have asked all the
questions.
If you were sitting in my shoes, what other questions would you
(16:41):
be asking that I haven't askedyet?
No, your people, your team, isthere to help and support you
grow, and you deserve to havepeople on your team that do just
that for you.
Like, we do not have totolerate any type of talking
down or not getting back to usfor a week or two, or you know
(17:06):
any of the stuff that I hearfrom some women.
Like we deserve the best.
And if maybe that person thatyou hired might have been in the
same alignment with who youwere two, three or four years
ago, but they might not be thatway anymore for you, right?
You might have evolved, yourconsciousness has grown, and so
(17:26):
if it's not working for youanymore, it's okay to break up,
it's okay to find someone elsethat supports you, and if you're
ready to stop outsourcing yourauthority, your power and really
start leading your financiallife with clarity and confidence
, I would love to support you.
You can book your coachingsession at
(17:47):
generatealifewelllivedcom and wecan build a money system that
works for your mind, your bodyand your business.
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
I would love it if you wouldleave a review for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
And if this episode resonatedwith you and you have a business
(18:08):
bestie who is also avoiding hermoney, will you share this
episode with her?
My mission is to help morefemale entrepreneurs feel safe
and empowered with their money.
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Have you ever left your meeting with the CPA or
bookkeeper or financial planner,or even attorney, feeling
smaller, maybe more confused, orlike your voice didn't matter?
In this episode, I want to helpyou reclaim your power, because
your financial team is not theboss.
They are your partners and youget to be the CEO of your money.
(00:24):
They are your partners and youget to be the CEO of your money.
So, whether you have outsourcedtoo much of your authority or
you just want to feel moreconfident in money conversations
, this episode is for you.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to your
finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
(00:47):
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
You can have the savings andthe income and the investments
and still feel unsafe.
(01:07):
I know that, that feeling inyour chest, what that feels like
, that tension in your body whenyou check your accounts, the
fear that it could all disappearor that when is the other shoe
going to drop?
I've lived there as well, andwhat finally shifted for me
wasn't more money or a bettersystem.
It was learning how to feelsafe in my body while having
(01:31):
money.
You know, when we carry theseunprocessed fears, money can
become a source of stressinstead of a tool for expansion.
And when we regulate ournervous system and reconnect
with our inner wisdom, and whenwe regulate our nervous system
and reconnect with our innerwisdom, money becomes this
sacred partner, not something tocontrol or avoid.
If you're ready to soften yourgrip, release the fear and step
(01:55):
into a more grounded, intuitiverelationship with your wealth, I
would be honored to support you.
Schedule your one hour sessionat generatealifewelllivecom and
let's create a financial paththat supports both your nervous
system and your soul.
So let's dive into why do weoutsource our power.
(02:17):
You know many women and I havesaid this on numerous podcasts
many women are taught tooutsource their financial
decisions to someone morequalified.
I think that this is doneintentionally, even when we are
very young, right, I mean, we'renot talking about money how to
manage money, how to have money,investments, things of that in
schools Most of the time.
(02:39):
You know, if you are my age orof my generation forties,
fifties, sixties those aretypically the age of my clients
you know we weren't in a placewhere our voice was always
honored or respected and we havebeen taught to kind of
(02:59):
outsource our power to otherpeople.
This can come from, you know,financial trauma.
It can come from nervous systemdysregulation and that creates
that, you know, freeze or fawnresponse.
And if you look out, you know,in our, just our society, you
(03:21):
know our culture reallyhighlights and elevates what we
call as financial experts, rightas these authority figures, as
if because they have all of thiseducation, that they have all
of this knowledge and that theyknow what is best for us.
And I really want to encourageyou to.
(03:42):
Just because someone has moreknowledge than you doesn't know
that doesn't mean that they knowwhat's best for you.
You know, one of the questionsI always ask my clients is how
does this feel in your body?
Because you have to run itthrough your system first before
we just take action on this.
I think we are a society offast action takers and I do
(04:04):
believe that there is a placefor taking action and consistent
action.
You know, building up thatmomentum, but not before we
check in and we ask ourselvesdoes this feel good to me?
And we really have to slow downto see what the answer is,
because sometimes the answercould be like it doesn't feel
good but it's coming from aplace of fear which is very
(04:27):
different than this doesn't feelgood and this doesn't feel in
alignment with what I actuallywant.
So some signs that you mighthave or be giving away your
power is maybe when your advisorand when I say advisor I mean
bookkeeper, attorney, cpa,financial planner, whoever is
(04:49):
around helping you.
You know, if you are justnodding along in meetings but
you feel lost because you don'twant to interrupt, right you,
you might avoid asking questionsfrom coming from that place of
fear of like looking and I'm airquoting nobody is dumb, but
that is sometimes what womentell me like, oh, I didn't want
to, I didn't want to look dumbor I didn't want to feel stupid.
(05:12):
Um, maybe you have just blindlyfollowed an advice.
You know that doesn't feelaligned.
I know one of my clients.
I said I was asking her aquestion last week and I said
well, what made you say yes?
I said because what youintuitively knew ended up
happening.
So how did you get to thatplace?
She said I wanted to do what I.
(05:34):
You know what I just told you,and everyone else told me that I
was being a little bit tooharsh or too abrasive or I
wasn't being, you know,collaborative.
And so I really encourage youto listen to your intuition,
because your body, your soul,knows the way, your higher self
knows the way, and when we youknow, and and, and so I asked my
(05:56):
client.
I was like well, what was?
What do you think the lessonwas here.
And she's like to listen tomyself.
I'm like absolutely, you know,our intuition is our best
guidance.
And so really, you know, partof the work that I do with
clients is tapping back intothis trust that we have with
ourselves, with our true knowing, because we have abandoned
ourselves and we have abandoneda lot of times our intuition.
(06:18):
And so if you are just takingthe advice and running with it
before you are actually puttingit through your filter, that
might be one of the ways thatyou are outsourcing your power.
And you know it can be as simpleas just not knowing what your
CPA or bookkeeper is actuallydoing, like ask them questions,
(06:38):
like, if they are getting saucywith you because you were asking
questions, they may not be thebest bookkeeper or CPA for you.
I know that.
You know there have been somewomen that have felt like that
their CPA or that their attorneyhas talked down to them, and I
just want to encourage you.
You do not have to tolerateanything.
Um, they when I say they workfor you, what I mean is that
(07:02):
they are in a collaborativespace, a partnership with you.
They are not driving the bus.
You are, you are paying themand so, from that space of hey,
we are co-creating together, butyou're not the boss of me.
So if you feel like you can'task questions, I really want you
(07:23):
to ask yourself, first andforemost is that because of a
belief that I have or that'sactually what I am, you know, um
, experiencing with this personLike, are they talking down to
me?
Are they short with me?
Are they saying things likewe've already talked about this?
It's like that's fine.
We might need to talk aboutthis three or four more times
until I get it Like.
So I really want to encourageyou to check in with your body
(07:45):
the next time that you meet withyour bookkeeper or your CPA or
attorney or financial planner,like is this a meeting that you
look forward to going or is itnot?
And if it's not, where is thiscoming from?
Is this coming from how you arefeeling when you are with this
person?
That they don't they don'tnecessarily give off the vibe of
(08:06):
having fun and teaching you andencouraging you and supporting
you, because I want you to knowyou deserve to be supported and
to to have things explained to,even if that means multiple
times.
You know, like, sometimes I haveto tell you, know the CPA hey,
layman's terms here like breakit down to a five-year-old and
(08:28):
if they can't explain it to afive-year-old, that's on them,
not on you.
Right, they need to be able toexplain things to you in a very
basic, simple term.
So I want you to really startto shift your identity.
Right, you are the CEO of yourmoney.
So, like I already said, yourplanner, your CPA, your
bookkeeper, your attorneys theywork for you.
(08:50):
Your CPA insert whatever, right, they are consultants.
Right, they are not someone whodictates.
This is the way it goes.
I know I've mentioned beforethere have been multiple CPAs
that I have challenged, and thatis because, most often than not
, some CPAs.
(09:10):
They're trying to follow taxlaw, they're trying to minimize
any type of audits, but a lot oftimes their consciousness is
not where yours is right, so itis coming from a fear-based
place.
There is a difference betweentax evasion and tax avoidance.
Right, tax avoidance is a legalthing and sometimes there have
(09:31):
been more CPA different CPAsthat I've worked with that are
more on the side of fear andvery cautious because they're so
afraid versus some CPAs when Ipushed back they've been like,
yeah, okay, you know, I couldsee that.
So, really getting clear foryourself and understanding what
they are advising you on,understanding what they are
advising you on, and sometimes Iwill even ask that question is
(10:01):
this coming from you know, yourown fear, or actually what you
have seen?
Or because of what you'reinterpreting?
Like, tell me more about this.
You get to ask those questions.
You know you don't have to haveall of the answers.
You just need to feel empoweredto ask really powerful
questions.
Like, tell me more, tell me thereason why.
Like, I think that is such apowerful question because we get
to get into the mind of thisindividual.
So often, you know, people aregiving us their advice based on
(10:25):
their belief systems based ontheir consciousness, their
awareness, their wealthconsciousness, their you know,
their business consciousness.
So you have to ask questions sothat you can understand where
are they coming from, and Ibelieve that we all deserve to
have partners in our businessright.
I have always said like I don'twant to be the smartest person
(10:47):
in the room.
I want to have a team around methat helps me and knows more
than I do.
From a place of.
We are all empowered and we allhave our place Right, and so
when we outsource and we giveour power away to our advisors,
that's not the goal, that's notthe point.
So, really, looking at it fromthe framework of, I have a team
(11:11):
of people that help advise meand then I am the final one with
the decision right.
I'm the one that makesdecisions.
I run it through my filterfirst and then I make my
decision.
So how do you start to reclaimyour voice and regulate your
nervous system?
I think it starts even beforeyou go into a meeting.
(11:31):
So, when you know that you'regoing to hop on a call, what are
some grounding exercises thatyou can do for yourself?
What intention do you want toset for yourself, for your
advisor, for the two of youtogether, energetically, right,
making sure you write down yourquestions.
No matter how you know basicyou think they are, it's
(11:55):
important to have thosequestions written down because
then, because what happens is,if you are feeling dysregulated
in a meeting and you don't havethese questions, you probably
aren't going to remember.
I don't know if you feel thisway, but when I used to go to
the doctor I don't really go tothe doctor anymore, I don't even
have a primary care physicianbut when I used to go to the
doctor, I would most of the timehave my questions written down.
(12:19):
But if I didn't and I was feltfeeling rushed by them, because
you know they have to, like,comply with all of the quick ins
and outs and insurance andeverything, if I didn't have my
questions written down, I wouldfeel rushed and then I wouldn't,
I wouldn't remember myquestions.
So it's it's that same feeling.
So write your questions down,make sure you get them answered,
and answered to what feels youknow good to you, not from like
(12:45):
they've answered the question,but like do you actually
understand the answer that theyare giving you, and don't leave
until you do so.
Well, so, during the meeting.
What I have said multiple timesto advisors is you need to slow
it down a bit, and I know thatthat takes some um maybe working
(13:05):
into for you, because maybeyou've been told like you're too
harsh or you shouldn't say thator that.
That's you know a bitchy way tosay that.
You know what are some of thoselimiting beliefs that you might
have.
That came up for you when Isaid that.
But it's okay to tell them hey,slow it down, layman's terms
here.
Wait a second, go back, go backto that again, cause I don't
(13:26):
understand that.
So, starting to pause when youfeel confused, right, asking for
that plain language, layman'sterms what are you talking about
?
One of the things I think to getinto the habit of is saying
that you need time to ponder itor run it through your filter,
instead of agreeing withsomething immediately.
I think a lot of times mostoften, you know a lot of people
(13:50):
our advisors are probably inthis like rushed space, and so
if, if they are wanting you tomake a decision because they
want the decision to be made, tohurry up and do X, y, z or to
move on to the next client, orwhatever it might be like, it's
okay to give yourself time andspace, and I think when I say
ponder, I don't necessarily meango to your head, but I think
(14:13):
there is some value in slowingdown and really, like you know,
when you're in someone else'sorc space, being able to
energetically be out of theirspace, and to give yourself time
to ponder the conversationsthat were discussed.
I mean, you might even come upwith more questions after the
fact that you would want moreclarity on that.
(14:33):
You could, you know, call oremail them back and get clarity
before you make another decision, and I think that allowing
yourself the time to be able tomake a really grounded decision,
I think that that to me feelsvery loving and nourishing and,
like I said after the meeting,taking some time to ponder and
really think about.
(14:54):
I always say that no decisionmade from an emotional high or
an emotional low goes well right.
We want to get to the state ofneutrality, of clarity, and time
is on our side.
Now, if you are procrastinating, that's one thing, but I think
more often than not, from whatI've seen in my clients and
(15:16):
myself, we don't give ourselvesenough time to get to neutral.
We are acting from either ahigh or a low and we are rushing
the process.
So, giving yourself some time toafter the meeting to really
just be with yourself in yourenergetic or space yourself, so
you can get clear and, like Isaid, you know you're probably
(15:37):
going to have more questions andand that comes from allowing
yourself to be with yourself andto ponder what was discussed in
the meeting.
So questions you know to to askyour advisors is how does this
actually support my goals?
Like, first and foremost, ismaking sure that they know your
(15:58):
goals, they know what yourvision is and making sure that
it is supporting what, that youknow, those goals and what your
vision is.
I always, like I said, you know, explain it to me in simpler
terms or, if you can and youunderstand it, like, explain it
back to them and say I thinkthat this is what you're, you're
, you're telling me, is this, isthis what you mean?
And let them say yes or no.
(16:19):
Also, asking you know, arethere anything?
I always ask the question isthere anything that I haven't
asked yet?
That I need to ask Because theysee this all day, every day.
They may not be thinking ofthat because they're just in the
zone and so really be like hey,I may not have asked all the
questions.
If you were sitting in my shoes, what other questions would you
(16:41):
be asking that I haven't askedyet?
No, your people, your team, isthere to help and support you
grow, and you deserve to havepeople on your team that do just
that for you.
Like, we do not have totolerate any type of talking
down or not getting back to usfor a week or two, or you know
(17:06):
any of the stuff that I hearfrom some women.
Like we deserve the best.
And if maybe that person thatyou hired might have been in the
same alignment with who youwere two, three or four years
ago, but they might not be thatway anymore for you, right?
You might have evolved, yourconsciousness has grown, and so
(17:26):
if it's not working for youanymore, it's okay to break up,
it's okay to find someone elsethat supports you, and if you're
ready to stop outsourcing yourauthority, your power and really
start leading your financiallife with clarity and confidence
, I would love to support you.
You can book your coachingsession at
(17:47):
generatealifewelllivedcom and wecan build a money system that
works for your mind, your bodyand your business.
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
I would love it if you wouldleave a review for this podcast.
It helps the show grow and Ilove hearing from you.
And if this episode resonatedwith you and you have a business
(18:08):
bestie who is also avoiding hermoney, will you share this
episode with her?
My mission is to help morefemale entrepreneurs feel safe
and empowered with their money.
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.
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