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Feeling financially invisible at home—even while running a successful business? You’re not alone. In this episode, I explore the emotional and behavioral roots behind why many women feel disconnected from money management in their personal lives—even if they’re confident managing finances in their business.
I talk about how early childhood experiences shape your financial mindset, how to break through limiting beliefs like “I’m not good with money,” and how to begin financial conversations with your partner from a place of curiosity and connection—not conflict.
In this episode you'll learn:
- Why financially powerful women still struggle with personal finance at home
- How your nervous system and past experiences impact your financial behaviors
- The most common coping patterns: avoidance vs. control
- Small steps to start engaging in household financial planning
- How reclaiming your financial voice improves both your relationship and emotional regulation
You deserve to participate in your household’s financial decisions if this is something that you desire. This episode will help you build emotional safety, shift your money mindset, and move you toward shared financial empowerment—at home and in your business.
Want to learn more or connect with me?
Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.
Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.
➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915
Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart
Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?
➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart
Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?
Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/30-min-call-with-erin)
Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
Have you found yourself in a relationship with
your partner where they handleall of the finances and you're
not even sure where to start inorder to get involved?
Maybe they're not trying tocontrol you, but you still feel
like that you aren't in control.
In today's episode, I'm divinginto what happens when you're
the one who's actually notmanaging the money in your
(00:22):
financial life at home, and howto actually reclaim your voice,
your power and your presence inyour financial life.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to your
finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
(00:42):
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
If this conversation alreadyfeels uncomfortable or it's
activating for you, I want youto know you're not the only one.
(01:05):
I've coached so many women thatwere the CEOs in their business
, but they didn't actually feellike that in their house, and
this is one of the ways that Ido help my clients to take this
work deeper in our one-on-onesessions, healing the fear, the
shame, the shutdown that keepsus small in our money stories
(01:27):
and in our financial life andour relationships.
You don't have to continue toask for money or feel bad that
you want to spend your money onyourself and your partner
disagrees with you.
If you are ready to step intomore empowerment, more safety
with your money, you canschedule a session by heading
over to my website,generatealifewelllivedcom, or
(01:50):
you can go to the link in theshow notes and just click the
link there and schedule asession.
I would love to support you andempower you to fully come alive
and own your worth.
Okay, so on Monday I talkedabout if you are feeling like
the financial parent in yourrelationship and I thought that
it would be really good to havean episode, because I have had
(02:12):
clients in both realms rightOnes who have felt like that
they are the financial parentand ones who have felt
completely disempowered in theirrelationship when it comes to
money.
So wherever you are along,those in that or in that
spectrum, it's totally fine.
We've been there, we are there,it's not a problem I'm going to
talk about why are we here, howdid we get here, and then what
(02:34):
to do moving forward.
So if you are currently feelingdisempowered with money in your
relationship, your partnermaybe handles the money, maybe
they pay the bills, maybe theymanage the investment accounts,
they decide on most of thespending and they handle, like,
the long-term planning.
They're talking to the CPA orthe advisors, attorneys, things
(02:57):
of that sort.
In the beginning it might havefelt really helpful and like you
were, in a way, maybe takencare of.
Right.
It was one less thing that youactually had to do and so maybe
you were able to focus on thekids or more of your business.
And then, over time, what hashappened is it has started to
feel like you are maybe out ofthe loop or you are starting to
(03:20):
feel anxious about askingquestions around the money or
even asking for what you want.
That's typically where myclients the ones that I've
helped with this, where theyhave seen it's like almost
asking permission to dad or toyou know when you're, when
you're wanting something thatisn't for your family, right,
like for your family, it feelslike it's for the kids, whatever
(03:40):
, it's for our family vacation,but when you want it just for
yourself, that's when they havenoticed.
Ooh, this feels a little bitout of integrity, and and so
maybe you are, you know, nervousaround your lack of knowledge
or the access that you have, ormaybe you don't even have.
Maybe you don't even know whereyour passwords are, what
(04:00):
accounts you have, where theyheld, who is your advisor, like
all of these things.
It's not a problem.
If this is you, it's not aproblem.
The awareness here is okay.
Is this me, and do I want tomake a change with it?
So I find that this most oftencomes from some of these deep
(04:21):
seated beliefs that we have.
You know, we may or may noteven be aware of them when we
started to give our power awayto our spouse.
You know beliefs like maybemoney is difficult to understand
, or I'm not good with money, orI'm not good with math, like
that's one that I hear often, orsomebody else is going to take
(04:42):
care of that.
Like my husband takes care ofthat, or you know, men are
better with money, like whateverthe belief or beliefs that you
have picked up along the way,that have created your current
experience.
First and foremost, justrecognize what they are.
So let's talk about why thisactually happens, which is
(05:02):
always going back to our beliefs.
So if every I mean everyepisode I'm always going to come
back to, where are we in ourbelief systems and our identity
and how is that creating ourcurrent experience?
So when you aren't the one who'smanaging your money, we take on
those belief systems, like Imentioned above.
(05:23):
You know, maybe I'm just notgood at it, or they're better at
numbers than I am, or it's justeasier to let them do it and I
don't have to do it, and so thatall comes back from
conditioning.
Maybe it was around what yousaw in your parents.
Maybe they thought about moneyand you don't want to fight
about money, so you just letsomebody else take care of it.
Maybe they never talked aboutmoney, so you had nothing to
(05:47):
take an example from.
So he said he would do it, andso you just let him do it.
It's not a problem that ourspouse manages the money.
It's also not a problem that weare the spouse that manages the
money.
The issue is is how we feel inour body.
If we feel like we are feelingdisempowered and we want to be
(06:08):
more involved and then we feellike we can't, for some reason,
some belief that we have.
That is what I'm talking abouthere.
So if you are someone who isnoticing your body, you know
what I'm feeling a little bitanxious when I come to my spouse
to talk about money.
That is what I want to help youwith in today's episode.
So maybe you were yelled atevery time that you asked for
(06:32):
something and you were taughtnot to ask or not to ask
questions or not be and I'm airquoting too much, you know.
So you stopped asking for whatyou wanted to keep the peace and
to not make waves.
And I want to pause here and Iwant to say you could be, have
(06:52):
this belief and you could showup on both sides.
Right, like I recognize this inmyself, I didn't want to make
waves in my family.
So there are things in myrelationship that I have not
asked for because I haven'twanted to make waves.
That is where I have feltdisempowered, even when I
managed the money.
So just recognize that justbecause you have a belief, it
(07:13):
doesn't mean that it just goesto one way or the other.
Right, it shows up in allthreads.
You could be managing the money.
You could not be managing themoney.
So if your parents fought aboutmoney like mine, did anything
that you could do to createpeace instead of turbulence.
You were all over.
And so notice where you haven'tasked for what you wanted,
(07:37):
because you were trying tocreate peace and keep peace.
So if your partner handlesfinances, because they were
brought up in similar situationsabout, like you know, fighting
and conflict and things of thatsort, and they decided from a
place like you know what, I'mgoing to never be out of control
with money and I am going to bein charge of my financial life.
(08:01):
That might be why they aremanaging it.
And so just recognize we couldhave the exact same experience
growing up.
And then what belief did wetake from?
That experience creates wherewe are right now.
So we've all developed actionsbased on our identities and our
belief systems.
So you too may like to, as inboth of you may have had the
(08:25):
exact experience growing up, andone of you took the stance of I
don't want to rock the boat,and the other took the stance of
I am never going to have anyonetell me what I can and can't do
with my money.
And so because of this, thesebelief systems, it it becomes
this loop, and so you stay out.
They stay in control and thenboth of you feel pressure, but
(08:47):
just in different ways.
So how do you step back intoyour financial power?
You know it starts with takingownership.
It starts with, first andforemost, recognizing where did
you give your power away?
And it starts with compassion.
You know you haven't beenirresponsible.
You don't need to go down theshame and blame route.
You know, and neither is yourpartner Like, nobody is to blame
(09:10):
for this.
You've been acting from thepremise of surviving and doing
what you knew how to do, becauseyour nervous system taught you
that these were the actionsnecessary to keep you safe.
And now that you're, like, moreaware, you're more informed,
you're more empowered, you areready for more financial
responsibility in yourrelationship.
(09:32):
So you can start with thejournaling and asking yourself
what beliefs got me here, what?
What do I think and feel when Iwant to go and buy something?
What do I think and feel when Ithink about going and talking
to him, about me being more partof our money?
(09:54):
What did I believe about moneyand relationships that have me
giving my power away to myspouse when it comes to money?
And, like I said, this isn't aplace for shame and guilt.
This is a place for love.
This is a place for compassionand curiosity.
You know we cannot change whatwe are not aware of.
(10:16):
So once you know what are someof those beliefs, then the
effort, the, the growth is tochange them.
Right, you get to decide how doyou want to be with your money
and in your relationship?
So think about as an empoweredwoman with her money, what would
(10:36):
that actually look like?
Where do I actually want to beinvolved?
Where do I not want to beinvolved?
What part of the planning andthe execution do I want to be a
part of and what part do I not?
You know, do I want to changethat?
We are currently doing ourfinances altogether?
Do I want to be the one thatnow does that?
Like?
I've had people completely flipfrom.
(10:58):
One person was doing it andthey're so relieved that the
other person finally took youknow it.
It gets to look whatever wayyou want it to look, but what I
would ask?
What feels good, what would Ilove to have happen?
So once you know what yourbeliefs are, once you've sat
down and you've actually thoughtabout what do I want to feel,
(11:21):
what do I want my relationshipto look like.
And when I say my relationship,yes, it is your partnership,
but what I really mean is youand your relationship with money
and yourself and your feelingsaround your partner.
You know one of the things youknow I had a client, and every
time that she would go to herspouse, she had the belief that
he would say no.
And I said why are you choosingto believe that he would say no
(11:43):
?
Why wouldn't you believe thathe loves to support you and
loves investing in you?
And when she changed thatbelief, the way that he met her
was exactly, you know, theopposite of what he had been.
It's because she changed thatvibrationally within herself
first.
He was open to her ideas andinvestments because she was the
(12:06):
one that changed first.
So we think we have to changeour partners, but that's not the
case.
We actually have to change us.
We have to change the way thatwe are vibrating, the way that
we are thinking and feelingabout our money and our
relationship and how empoweredwe feel.
So now that you have decided,okay, how do I want to be?
(12:27):
How do I?
What is the new identity of anempowered woman with my money?
Then, how do you want to engagewith your spouse.
The same thing.
Like I mentioned the lastepisode, if you were wanting to
have your spouse be moreinvolved, it's the same thing
here.
Come to them and say I wouldlove to start taking a more
active role in our finances.
(12:47):
Can we set aside a time to talkabout what I've come up with?
And then, once you set asidetime, okay, then make it about a
partnership.
Talk to them from a place oflove, from curiosity, from
empowered.
You know what does apartnership look like when you
look at money together.
You talk about it.
It feels easy, it feels calm,it feels empowered.
(13:11):
You know, more often than not,the partner that does the money
would love some help.
I've talked to many of partnersthat have been the ones that
have been doing the money.
They would love to, they wouldlove for their partner to be
involved.
You know we all have thesestories.
(13:32):
We all have the beliefs thatare creating our current
experience and having us manageor not manage our money.
And when we can look at ourpartners from the lens of
compassion and fromunderstanding, the outcome is so
vastly different.
You know, so often when I workwith women that haven't been
taking an active role in theirfinances and then, when they
(13:53):
actually decide to be moreactive, their entire
relationship improves, not justtheir finances, because they
have become more of who theyalready are, because they have
become more empowered, becausethey speak up.
You know their spouses feellike that.
They have a partner to be onthis journey with them.
The women are involved with themoney, you know.
(14:16):
They know what's going on withtheir money, and it's one more
thing that I think is sobeautiful is that they get to
connect with their partner.
It's another area in ourrelationship that we get to
connect together.
You know, if that's somethingthat you're yearning for, I want
you to know that it's 100%possible for you.
You know you are worthy ofknowing and being involved with
(14:38):
your financial life in your inyour own house, not just in your
business.
You know many women are the CEOCFOs in their business and
that's not necessarily true ofhow they are in their house and
you get to be both.
And if you are ready to feelmore empowered and more free
with your money, I invite you toschedule a one-on-one session
(14:58):
with me.
You can head over to my website, you can click the link in the
show notes and schedule a timethat works for you, for us, to
look at how you're feeling withyour money.
We'll talk about the strategy.
We'll get into that, we'll geta game plan together, but that's
going to come after what youare actually thinking and
feeling and and moving throughsome of that first.
(15:19):
You know we can develop all ofthis strategy but if you don't
change the beliefs, if you don'tchange the identity of the
person, you're going to returnback to that same person.
We have to, we have to workthrough some of the, the
emotional side of money, the,the nervous system regulation,
and it's not like, okay, we haveto work through all of that
before we do strategy.
No, that's not what I'm saying.
(15:39):
I'm just saying that thestrategy is the bandaid.
You know, the cure is theemotional regulation, the
identity shift, that piece.
You don't have to become, youknow, the CEO, the family CEO,
overnight and heck, you may noteven want to become the family
CEO or CFO.
That's fine.
But once you have decided howyou want your relationship with
(16:02):
money to be with you and yourspouse, just choose one area,
like knowing what are yourmonthly, what's your monthly
output, what's your monthlyspend every month and and where
does it go.
You know, looking at sharedaccounts like what is it that
you want to start looking at andtaking ownership of?
Allow yourself to be curiousand to learn.
(16:22):
You know, I think it's such abeautiful thing that you get to
use this as another way toconnect with your spouse,
another thing you get to growtogether with, versus pinning
each other against each other.
You know, you know, if you'vebeen at this, if, if you've kind
of taken this backseat role foryears, it might take some time
to get up to where you want togo.
To speed, it might, it mightnot.
(16:44):
It's fine.
Either way, you know, allowyourself you know your nervous
system, your partner, the spaceand the freedom to move at the
pace that feels good for each ofyou.
And if anything that I havesaid in this episode have had
you feeling a little tense inyour body or anxious, I want you
(17:04):
to know that that is your signto lean in, to pay attention to
that.
And if you want supportnavigating your newfound
relationship with money and withyour partner, I would love to
support you.
During our sessions, we go deep, we look at these patterns,
these belief systems that arekeeping you from what you want,
(17:26):
and then develop a plan tocreate the kind of relationship
with money in your spouse thatyou deserve.
I invite you to schedule asession with me.
You can click the link in theshow notes to schedule a session
, or you can head over to mywebsite,
generatealifewelllivedcom andschedule a session.
I would be honored to walkalongside you, and I want you to
(17:52):
know that if this episoderesonated with you and you feel
like that, another woman in yourlife that you love and care
about would resonate with thisepisode as well, I would love it
if you would share this episodewith her.
Okay, I'll see you next time.
Have you found yourself in a relationship with
your partner where they handleall of the finances and you're
not even sure where to start inorder to get involved?
Maybe they're not trying tocontrol you, but you still feel
like that you aren't in control.
In today's episode, I'm divinginto what happens when you're
the one who's actually notmanaging the money in your
(00:22):
financial life at home, and howto actually reclaim your voice,
your power and your presence inyour financial life.
Do you want to create a systemto stop avoiding your money?
Maybe you're feeling guilt andshame when it comes to your
finances.
Welcome to your Money, yourRules.
I'm Erin, a former certifiedfinancial planner and CFO, and
(00:42):
yet I used to avoid my money andhad fear, no matter how much we
had.
I can't wait to teach you how Iovercame my money avoidance and
started consistently managingmy finances in a really simple
way.
It's time to get comfortablewith money.
If this conversation alreadyfeels uncomfortable or it's
activating for you, I want youto know you're not the only one.
(01:05):
I've coached so many women thatwere the CEOs in their business
, but they didn't actually feellike that in their house, and
this is one of the ways that Ido help my clients to take this
work deeper in our one-on-onesessions, healing the fear, the
shame, the shutdown that keepsus small in our money stories
(01:27):
and in our financial life andour relationships.
You don't have to continue toask for money or feel bad that
you want to spend your money onyourself and your partner
disagrees with you.
If you are ready to step intomore empowerment, more safety
with your money, you canschedule a session by heading
over to my website,generatealifewelllivedcom, or
(01:50):
you can go to the link in theshow notes and just click the
link there and schedule asession.
I would love to support you andempower you to fully come alive
and own your worth.
Okay, so on Monday I talkedabout if you are feeling like
the financial parent in yourrelationship and I thought that
it would be really good to havean episode, because I have had
(02:12):
clients in both realms rightOnes who have felt like that
they are the financial parentand ones who have felt
completely disempowered in theirrelationship when it comes to
money.
So wherever you are along,those in that or in that
spectrum, it's totally fine.
We've been there, we are there,it's not a problem I'm going to
talk about why are we here, howdid we get here, and then what
(02:34):
to do moving forward.
So if you are currently feelingdisempowered with money in your
relationship, your partnermaybe handles the money, maybe
they pay the bills, maybe theymanage the investment accounts,
they decide on most of thespending and they handle, like,
the long-term planning.
They're talking to the CPA orthe advisors, attorneys, things
(02:57):
of that sort.
In the beginning it might havefelt really helpful and like you
were, in a way, maybe takencare of.
Right.
It was one less thing that youactually had to do and so maybe
you were able to focus on thekids or more of your business.
And then, over time, what hashappened is it has started to
feel like you are maybe out ofthe loop or you are starting to
(03:20):
feel anxious about askingquestions around the money or
even asking for what you want.
That's typically where myclients the ones that I've
helped with this, where theyhave seen it's like almost
asking permission to dad or toyou know when you're, when
you're wanting something thatisn't for your family, right,
like for your family, it feelslike it's for the kids, whatever
(03:40):
, it's for our family vacation,but when you want it just for
yourself, that's when they havenoticed.
Ooh, this feels a little bitout of integrity, and and so
maybe you are, you know, nervousaround your lack of knowledge
or the access that you have, ormaybe you don't even have.
Maybe you don't even know whereyour passwords are, what
(04:00):
accounts you have, where theyheld, who is your advisor, like
all of these things.
It's not a problem.
If this is you, it's not aproblem.
The awareness here is okay.
Is this me, and do I want tomake a change with it?
So I find that this most oftencomes from some of these deep
(04:21):
seated beliefs that we have.
You know, we may or may noteven be aware of them when we
started to give our power awayto our spouse.
You know beliefs like maybemoney is difficult to understand
, or I'm not good with money, orI'm not good with math, like
that's one that I hear often, orsomebody else is going to take
(04:42):
care of that.
Like my husband takes care ofthat, or you know, men are
better with money, like whateverthe belief or beliefs that you
have picked up along the way,that have created your current
experience.
First and foremost, justrecognize what they are.
So let's talk about why thisactually happens, which is
(05:02):
always going back to our beliefs.
So if every I mean everyepisode I'm always going to come
back to, where are we in ourbelief systems and our identity
and how is that creating ourcurrent experience?
So when you aren't the one who'smanaging your money, we take on
those belief systems, like Imentioned above.
(05:23):
You know, maybe I'm just notgood at it, or they're better at
numbers than I am, or it's justeasier to let them do it and I
don't have to do it, and so thatall comes back from
conditioning.
Maybe it was around what yousaw in your parents.
Maybe they thought about moneyand you don't want to fight
about money, so you just letsomebody else take care of it.
Maybe they never talked aboutmoney, so you had nothing to
(05:47):
take an example from.
So he said he would do it, andso you just let him do it.
It's not a problem that ourspouse manages the money.
It's also not a problem that weare the spouse that manages the
money.
The issue is is how we feel inour body.
If we feel like we are feelingdisempowered and we want to be
(06:08):
more involved and then we feellike we can't, for some reason,
some belief that we have.
That is what I'm talking abouthere.
So if you are someone who isnoticing your body, you know
what I'm feeling a little bitanxious when I come to my spouse
to talk about money.
That is what I want to help youwith in today's episode.
So maybe you were yelled atevery time that you asked for
(06:32):
something and you were taughtnot to ask or not to ask
questions or not be and I'm airquoting too much, you know.
So you stopped asking for whatyou wanted to keep the peace and
to not make waves.
And I want to pause here and Iwant to say you could be, have
(06:52):
this belief and you could showup on both sides.
Right, like I recognize this inmyself, I didn't want to make
waves in my family.
So there are things in myrelationship that I have not
asked for because I haven'twanted to make waves.
That is where I have feltdisempowered, even when I
managed the money.
So just recognize that justbecause you have a belief, it
(07:13):
doesn't mean that it just goesto one way or the other.
Right, it shows up in allthreads.
You could be managing the money.
You could not be managing themoney.
So if your parents fought aboutmoney like mine, did anything
that you could do to createpeace instead of turbulence.
You were all over.
And so notice where you haven'tasked for what you wanted,
(07:37):
because you were trying tocreate peace and keep peace.
So if your partner handlesfinances, because they were
brought up in similar situationsabout, like you know, fighting
and conflict and things of thatsort, and they decided from a
place like you know what, I'mgoing to never be out of control
with money and I am going to bein charge of my financial life.
(08:01):
That might be why they aremanaging it.
And so just recognize we couldhave the exact same experience
growing up.
And then what belief did wetake from?
That experience creates wherewe are right now.
So we've all developed actionsbased on our identities and our
belief systems.
So you too may like to, as inboth of you may have had the
(08:25):
exact experience growing up, andone of you took the stance of I
don't want to rock the boat,and the other took the stance of
I am never going to have anyonetell me what I can and can't do
with my money.
And so because of this, thesebelief systems, it it becomes
this loop, and so you stay out.
They stay in control and thenboth of you feel pressure, but
(08:47):
just in different ways.
So how do you step back intoyour financial power?
You know it starts with takingownership.
It starts with, first andforemost, recognizing where did
you give your power away?
And it starts with compassion.
You know you haven't beenirresponsible.
You don't need to go down theshame and blame route.
You know, and neither is yourpartner Like, nobody is to blame
(09:10):
for this.
You've been acting from thepremise of surviving and doing
what you knew how to do, becauseyour nervous system taught you
that these were the actionsnecessary to keep you safe.
And now that you're, like, moreaware, you're more informed,
you're more empowered, you areready for more financial
responsibility in yourrelationship.
(09:32):
So you can start with thejournaling and asking yourself
what beliefs got me here, what?
What do I think and feel when Iwant to go and buy something?
What do I think and feel when Ithink about going and talking
to him, about me being more partof our money?
(09:54):
What did I believe about moneyand relationships that have me
giving my power away to myspouse when it comes to money?
And, like I said, this isn't aplace for shame and guilt.
This is a place for love.
This is a place for compassionand curiosity.
You know we cannot change whatwe are not aware of.
(10:16):
So once you know what are someof those beliefs, then the
effort, the, the growth is tochange them.
Right, you get to decide how doyou want to be with your money
and in your relationship?
So think about as an empoweredwoman with her money, what would
(10:36):
that actually look like?
Where do I actually want to beinvolved?
Where do I not want to beinvolved?
What part of the planning andthe execution do I want to be a
part of and what part do I not?
You know, do I want to changethat?
We are currently doing ourfinances altogether?
Do I want to be the one thatnow does that?
Like?
I've had people completely flipfrom.
(10:58):
One person was doing it andthey're so relieved that the
other person finally took youknow it.
It gets to look whatever wayyou want it to look, but what I
would ask?
What feels good, what would Ilove to have happen?
So once you know what yourbeliefs are, once you've sat
down and you've actually thoughtabout what do I want to feel,
(11:21):
what do I want my relationshipto look like.
And when I say my relationship,yes, it is your partnership,
but what I really mean is youand your relationship with money
and yourself and your feelingsaround your partner.
You know one of the things youknow I had a client, and every
time that she would go to herspouse, she had the belief that
he would say no.
And I said why are you choosingto believe that he would say no
(11:43):
?
Why wouldn't you believe thathe loves to support you and
loves investing in you?
And when she changed thatbelief, the way that he met her
was exactly, you know, theopposite of what he had been.
It's because she changed thatvibrationally within herself
first.
He was open to her ideas andinvestments because she was the
(12:06):
one that changed first.
So we think we have to changeour partners, but that's not the
case.
We actually have to change us.
We have to change the way thatwe are vibrating, the way that
we are thinking and feelingabout our money and our
relationship and how empoweredwe feel.
So now that you have decided,okay, how do I want to be?
(12:27):
How do I?
What is the new identity of anempowered woman with my money?
Then, how do you want to engagewith your spouse.
The same thing.
Like I mentioned the lastepisode, if you were wanting to
have your spouse be moreinvolved, it's the same thing
here.
Come to them and say I wouldlove to start taking a more
active role in our finances.
(12:47):
Can we set aside a time to talkabout what I've come up with?
And then, once you set asidetime, okay, then make it about a
partnership.
Talk to them from a place oflove, from curiosity, from
empowered.
You know what does apartnership look like when you
look at money together.
You talk about it.
It feels easy, it feels calm,it feels empowered.
(13:11):
You know, more often than not,the partner that does the money
would love some help.
I've talked to many of partnersthat have been the ones that
have been doing the money.
They would love to, they wouldlove for their partner to be
involved.
You know we all have thesestories.
(13:32):
We all have the beliefs thatare creating our current
experience and having us manageor not manage our money.
And when we can look at ourpartners from the lens of
compassion and fromunderstanding, the outcome is so
vastly different.
You know, so often when I workwith women that haven't been
taking an active role in theirfinances and then, when they
(13:53):
actually decide to be moreactive, their entire
relationship improves, not justtheir finances, because they
have become more of who theyalready are, because they have
become more empowered, becausethey speak up.
You know their spouses feellike that.
They have a partner to be onthis journey with them.
The women are involved with themoney, you know.
(14:16):
They know what's going on withtheir money, and it's one more
thing that I think is sobeautiful is that they get to
connect with their partner.
It's another area in ourrelationship that we get to
connect together.
You know, if that's somethingthat you're yearning for, I want
you to know that it's 100%possible for you.
You know you are worthy ofknowing and being involved with
(14:38):
your financial life in your inyour own house, not just in your
business.
You know many women are the CEOCFOs in their business and
that's not necessarily true ofhow they are in their house and
you get to be both.
And if you are ready to feelmore empowered and more free
with your money, I invite you toschedule a one-on-one session
(14:58):
with me.
You can head over to my website, you can click the link in the
show notes and schedule a timethat works for you, for us, to
look at how you're feeling withyour money.
We'll talk about the strategy.
We'll get into that, we'll geta game plan together, but that's
going to come after what youare actually thinking and
feeling and and moving throughsome of that first.
(15:19):
You know we can develop all ofthis strategy but if you don't
change the beliefs, if you don'tchange the identity of the
person, you're going to returnback to that same person.
We have to, we have to workthrough some of the, the
emotional side of money, the,the nervous system regulation,
and it's not like, okay, we haveto work through all of that
before we do strategy.
No, that's not what I'm saying.
(15:39):
I'm just saying that thestrategy is the bandaid.
You know, the cure is theemotional regulation, the
identity shift, that piece.
You don't have to become, youknow, the CEO, the family CEO,
overnight and heck, you may noteven want to become the family
CEO or CFO.
That's fine.
But once you have decided howyou want your relationship with
(16:02):
money to be with you and yourspouse, just choose one area,
like knowing what are yourmonthly, what's your monthly
output, what's your monthlyspend every month and and where
does it go.
You know, looking at sharedaccounts like what is it that
you want to start looking at andtaking ownership of?
Allow yourself to be curiousand to learn.
(16:22):
You know, I think it's such abeautiful thing that you get to
use this as another way toconnect with your spouse,
another thing you get to growtogether with, versus pinning
each other against each other.
You know, you know, if you'vebeen at this, if, if you've kind
of taken this backseat role foryears, it might take some time
to get up to where you want togo.
To speed, it might, it mightnot.
(16:44):
It's fine.
Either way, you know, allowyourself you know your nervous
system, your partner, the spaceand the freedom to move at the
pace that feels good for each ofyou.
And if anything that I havesaid in this episode have had
you feeling a little tense inyour body or anxious, I want you
(17:04):
to know that that is your signto lean in, to pay attention to
that.
And if you want supportnavigating your newfound
relationship with money and withyour partner, I would love to
support you.
During our sessions, we go deep, we look at these patterns,
these belief systems that arekeeping you from what you want,
(17:26):
and then develop a plan tocreate the kind of relationship
with money in your spouse thatyou deserve.
I invite you to schedule asession with me.
You can click the link in theshow notes to schedule a session
, or you can head over to mywebsite,
generatealifewelllivedcom andschedule a session.
I would be honored to walkalongside you, and I want you to
(17:52):
know that if this episoderesonated with you and you feel
like that, another woman in yourlife that you love and care
about would resonate with thisepisode as well, I would love it
if you would share this episodewith her.
Okay, I'll see you next time.
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