124 | Feeling Shame About “Losing Money”? Try These Money Mindset Reframes

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Ever felt like you “lost money” on a course, coach, or investment that didn’t deliver what you expected? In this episode, I break down why money is never truly lost—it’s energy that circulates and always returns. I share my personal story of investing $8,000 in a program that fell short, and how reframing it as a powerful lesson kept me open to even greater opportunities. 

In this episode I discuss:

 ✨ Money is energy; it can’t be created or destroyed—it simply circulates.
 ✨ Saying “I lost money” feels final and heavy, while “I invested and learned” keeps you open and empowered.
 ✨ Every dollar spent is an investment in your growth, clarity, and self-concept.
 ✨ The way you feel when you circulate money impacts how quickly it returns.
 ✨ Our greatest “losses” often come right before our greatest gains.
 ✨ True empowerment comes when you decide what your investments mean for you. 

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Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/45-min-call-with-erin)

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Episode Transcript

Erin Gray (00:00):
Do you ever feel like you've lost money on a course
or a coach or an investment thatpossibly didn't turn out the
way that you had anticipated?
In this episode, I want toreframe this idea of losing
money, because money, I believe,is never truly lost.
It's circulated and moving andI have the belief that it always

(00:21):
comes back to me multiplied.
Welcome back to your Money,your Rules podcast with me, erin
Gray.
I'm grateful that you arejoining me for another episode,
so let's get into it.
So, first and foremost, youknow I believe that money is
really energy.
So if money is energy andenergy is never created or

(00:43):
destroyed then it can't actuallybe lost.
You know, when we say I lostmoney, it feels, I think in the
body, like final, like it's gone, like there is this permanent
decrease in our account and morelike math, right, addition and
subtraction, like it's gone orit's lower than what you had

(01:05):
versus more, like a circle.
And it can also carry thisenergy of shame and guilt around
it, like maybe we were feelingor we think that we're bad with
money or we did something wrong.
And I want you to know that thetruth is is money is always
circulating, it's always flowing, and how we feel about money,

(01:30):
how we circulate it, how we feelwhen we circulate it, will
determine whether it comes backor it doesn't, or how quickly it
returns to us.
So we get to decide about themoney that we have invested.
We get to choose powerfullyabout every investment that we
make.
So in ourselves, in our family,in our business.

(01:53):
However, we are circulating themoney.
I always really like to thinkabout investing money because I
am, you know we are always.
I think we're always investingmoney.
I know we've been taught thatwe spend it or we've lost it,
but I don't really.
That's not a belief that servesme.
So, whether it be in mybusiness or myself, or clothes

(02:15):
or houses or cars or vacations,it's all investing to me, who I
am, what I believe I'm worthyand deserving of, and elevating
my self-concept with eachdecision that I make.
And this is why I hold thebelief that any money that I
circulate returns to me at leastdoubled.

(02:37):
I've seen it in my life overand over again.
You know that money returns tome, multiplied three times, not
always in the same source, rightthat it in the way that I
invested it, but it always comesback and continues to flow and
comes to me.

(02:58):
It just when I, when I thinkabout beliefs and just any
belief, specifically, you know,as we're talking about here with
money, is that as?
Does it actually feel good inthe body?
Does it actually move meforward and it doesn't have me
feeling more empowered?
Or is it a belief that doesn'tnecessarily serve me and it

(03:19):
leaves me feeling disempowered?
So when you really connect toyour body and you start to think
about I lost money, how do youactually feel in your body?
Do you contract?
Do you want to hide?
Do you not want to talk aboutit Versus thinking about what
did I learn from investing thatamount of money?
So how we actually label it,how we narrate the story, how we

(03:45):
talk about it, matters.
If you tell yourself I wasted$8,000 or I lost that $8,000, or
that it was a stupid decisionor a silly decision, or on you
know I'm never going to get thatback, that to me feels very
heavy, very guilt-ridden energythat keeps you in that vibration

(04:06):
.
And this is some of the workthat I do with clients to help
them reframe how they seethemselves as investors with
their money and with theirself-concept.
So if you are wanting supportas you unravel your relationship
with money.
I would love to support you.
You can schedule a clarity callby clicking on the link in the

(04:27):
show notes or you can head overto my website Generate a Life
Well Lived and click on the link, work with me and schedule a
call.
I would love to see if we're agood fit for each other.
So if you were thinking instead, maybe like I invested that
$8,000 and I learned so muchfrom my decision and list out

(04:48):
what you actually learned andthe impact of that $8,000 had
and that you trust that it willcome back multiplied, then what
happens is you're keepingyourself open, you're expansive,
you're in self trust, you're inself belief.
Right In business and in life,we are going to make decisions

(05:10):
where it's not going to goexactly the way that we think it
would.
We have expectations, we haveideas, but that doesn't
necessarily mean it always goesthe way we think it would.
And the growth, I believe, isto love ourselves anyways.
It's to not make it meananything about ourselves and to

(05:31):
just keep moving forward.
So when circumstances happen inour life and I don't mean
happen as in like oh, it justhappened, but like when you
invest money and it doesn't gothe way that you want to.
What is the narrative thatyou're going to choose to tell
yourself and keep moving forward?
You know, I earlier this year, Iinvested about $8,000 in a

(05:53):
program that didn't deliver onwhat I thought it would.
It was very masculine.
You know, I had ridden my wave.
I had talked to the salessupport staff.
I'd asked all my questions andthen when I got into the program
, how they said that they weregoing to help me create my
YouTube channel, create myYouTube channel.
There were some parts that theyleft out when I asked my

(06:15):
questions and you know, on theirsales page and and things of
that sort.
So I could have been mad atthem, I could have been mad at
myself, I could have beenfrustrated with myself that I
invested 8,000, or I could havedone what I did, which was I

(06:35):
looked at it from the lens of somuch clarity on how I actually
want to run my programs in thefuture that I really do lean
into the feminine side ofbusiness along with the
masculine side and continue totrust myself.
You know, I learned my lesson.
One of the things that I'mgrateful for is I learned my
lesson at 8,000 instead of80,000.
And I'm sure there probablywill be a time that I learned
the lesson at 80,000, becauseI'll be making that much more

(06:58):
money and that is where myinvesting is at that time, right
, so it's really all relative.
It's how we see every decisionthat we make and then what we
make that mean about ourselves.
And the final thing that I wantto discuss here is I always
take it back to the body and thenervous system.
So when you view money as goneforever, it triggers this

(07:21):
survival response, the fight,flight, freeze, which there is
no space for creativeness, andit really lowers our vibration.
Now, lowering our vibrationtemporarily it isn't a problem,
right, that's just part ofhaving a human experience,
having a human mind.
But when we are there, when westay there and that is what I

(07:41):
see with some women is that webeat ourselves up for extended
periods of time.
That is where I'm referring toof like, staying in that lower
vibration.
So the goal is to move quicklyor quicker through what we
encounter, to not stay in thetrough and beat ourselves up.
And I'm not talking aboutbypassing what we feel, and I'm

(08:04):
also saying that we don't haveto make it mean anything about
us.
We can feel, maybe thatimmediate shame or guilt comes
up.
We can feel it because, really,what that is telling us is
where do we already have thatwithin ourselves, what you know?
Where did we maybe do somethingas a child and we felt shame
and guilt from maybe someonesaying something?

(08:26):
So that is allowing us toprocess what has been suppressed
, but we don't need to continueto pile on more shame and guilt.
And so when you view it as aninvestment, an energetic
circulation, then what happensis you are more in that creative
state, your body relaxes, youfeel powerful.

(08:48):
You, you know, you are open tomore or other ways to create
money.
In order to recap, you know the, the investment that you made.
And so I always just like touse things from an empowering.
I always just like to usethings from an empowering
standpoint versus using it tobeat myself up, like there's

(09:16):
nothing good that comes frombeating ourselves up.
There's, I mean, when we are injudgment.
There is no learning, there'sno place for curiosity, there's
not a place for love.
And I think that is where, inthe times where I would say and
I'm air quoting that we make amistake, that it didn't turn out
the way we thought it would.
That is where we need more love, more compassion, more

(09:36):
curiosity, so that we can learnand that we can evolve and grow.
So, to recap, money it's neverlost, it's always moving, it's,
it's supporting us, it'scirculating.
You know, how you interpret aninvestment really shapes how you
feel and what energy you'regoing to bring to your next

(09:56):
decisions.
And this, I believe, iseverything you know trust that
money returns, often in waysthat are even better than what
you expect.
You know one of my mentors saysthat the greatest losses come
right before the greatest gains.
So how would you feel about aninvestment that you made if you

(10:18):
believe that that was actuallytrue?
You know you get to decide whatthat investment meant for you.
That, I believe, is feelingtruly empowered.
That is, embodying financialempowerment.
Thank you for tuning in today,for being here, for sharing your

(10:38):
time with me.
If you are ready to receivesupport along your journey, I
would love to guide you.
You can schedule a clarity callby heading to my website or
going to the link in the shownotes to schedule a call.
My website isgeneratealifewelllivecom or you
can click the link in the shownotes, like I mentioned.
Okay, I'll see you in the nextepisode.