March 6, 2024 • 27 mins
Reflecting on the journey of self-discovery can be a transformative experience, especially in the digital age where likes and shares seem to dictate our worth. In my candid recount, I, Dr. Jason Wiggins, take you through the pitfalls of chasing societal standards and the triumph of crafting a unique personal narrative. From the pressures faced by Gen Z and Millennials to my own tales of typecasting and triumph, this episode is a heartfelt exploration of how to stand firm in your identity amidst the noise of conformity. We'll unravel the threads of authenticity and self-accountability, sharing why the most profound success is defined within.
Navigating the labyrinth of external validation is no small feat, and I’ll share how my own transformation led to an unshakeable sense of self-fulfillment. You'll hear about my transition from a youth craving acceptance to a fulfilled adult who found true impact lies beyond titles and societal accolades. But it doesn't stop there; we'll also delve into the crucial role of mental health support and the power of self-acceptance. Join me as we foster a conversation on personal growth and the strength that comes from celebrating our individuality. Your stories and engagement are the heartbeat of this dialogue, and I welcome your thoughts as we build a community that cherishes the journey of becoming our best selves.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello friends, welcome to your motivational Gen
Z and Millennial Expert podcast.
I am your host, dr JasonWiggins, and it is great to be
here.
I thank you for listening.
We appreciate your listenership.
The podcast is doing terrificand we owe that all to you.
(00:21):
You can catch it on any of yourfavorite platforms.
Feel free to share it with yourfriends, your coworkers, as we
continue to move forward.
This podcast is for Gen Z andMillennials, and the main aspect
of this podcast is to motivate,inspire and talk about Gen Z
(00:42):
and Millennials and how we cannot only just improve our
professional lives, but how wecan improve our personal lives.
So let's go ahead and get ourheads right and get this podcast
on the road.
I've been thinking abouttoday's topic and where we could
(01:03):
kind of go from here andstreamline, and I thought to
myself at the end of the day,you know, what really we have to
be accountable for is ourself.
Because Gen Z and Millennialsthe one thing that probably
ticks off these two groups themost is being typecast.
(01:26):
This is who you should be, thisis who you are, this is what
statistics say, this is how wethink that you should act, and
that's when it really came to me, it is about honing your own
skills and revolutionizing whatwe do and you do on a daily
(01:51):
basis and the important aspectsno matter what you do in life,
how you continue to grow as anindividual, within your
organization, within yourself,within your family, there's only
one thing that you can count on, and this is where this podcast
is going to go in the direction.
(02:12):
The only one thing that you cancount on is being yourself.
Nobody should be anybody.
They're not.
Unless you're an actor whereyou have to play a role of an
identified character and takethe role of that character, then
(02:33):
we should just utilize ourtalents that we've been given
and really take that to the nextlevel and therefore, being who
you are is guaranteed, the onlything that is guaranteed within
(02:55):
your life.
And that's the one thing Ilooked at growing up, because I
found myself aspiring to alwaysbe someone else, aspiring to be
a typecast of somebody I wantedto be.
I can think back early in mycollege years.
(03:15):
I remember seeing a professorat school with it at Washington
State and I said to myself lookat that professor.
He's dressed sharply in abusiness suit, he's driving a
modest SUV and he is groomednicely.
And I thought to myself one dayI hope to be a professional
(03:40):
just like that.
And then there was another time, when I was working in
restaurants.
I would see all these businessfolks come in for breakfast and
I would look at them and go youknow what I want to one day go
into the restaurant, be dressedreally nicely, look professional
(04:02):
and be somebody important.
And again, I'm typecastingmyself as somebody I want to be.
Now don't get me wrong.
I think it's great to mentorpeople.
I think it's great when you seesomething you like and you want
to aspire to be somebody likethat.
(04:22):
But what I'm saying is, don'ttake it the next step to where
you begin to get infatuated withbeing somebody like this,
somebody like that.
Do it because you love it.
And it took me many, many yearstrying to satisfy everybody else
(04:44):
about how I should be versuswho I am, and I have found that
important in my when I mentorothers, when people have asked
me what I should do.
It's interesting.
I had a conversation with ayoung man today and he said well
(05:08):
, you know, because he knew mefrom 14 years ago.
And he said to me he says youknow, you seem successful,
you've been success, you'resuccessful.
And I said success is in theeye of the beholder.
And why is it in the eye of thebeholder?
(05:28):
Because we really, trulyourselves know if we're
successful.
What is success?
Success, ultimately, is what wethink it is.
It's what motivates us, it'swhat validates us, it's what
makes us feel important, and theonly thing we can guarantee
(05:54):
with our own personal lives isthat we live it the best we can.
If we don't live it the best wecan, that's okay, but as long
as we can say, I'm okay with it.
There's a lot of people thatmake a lot of decisions in life
(06:14):
that don't always make sense.
It doesn't make sense to you,it doesn't make sense to me.
Why do they do that?
Sometimes it's impulse,sometimes it's just because they
make bad decisions or theydon't really care.
They're going to live theirlife the way they want to and
guess what?
(06:34):
They will absorb thoserepercussions as they come,
knowing that their decisionmaking is going to ultimately
decide what success means tothem.
I've always looked at it thisway we have almost all the
(06:59):
control for our own well-beingand our own success.
That is why, going back to whatwe talked about at the
beginning of the discussion was.
Success is about honing our ownskills and being true to
ourself.
The only one that can bedisappointed in what we do is
(07:23):
ourself, and therefore we lookat it.
How can we change it?
How can we be better?
How can we be greater than weever hoped we could be?
And when I say hope we could be, that is a huge, monumental,
eye-raising question, becausethe answer is we can fulfill our
(07:47):
own self-prophecy and that isby taking the steps necessary.
But when I say take the stepsnecessary, it does not mean
fulfill and live up tosomebody's expectations.
I was fortunate growing up thatthe expectations that were put
on me were not daunting, theywere not high.
(08:10):
I feel kids of today's societyhave so much pressure on their
shoulders with all the selfgratification the internet, the
YouTube, the social media sitesabout everybody's out there in
social media land talking aboutall the wonderful things in
(08:32):
their life, but what peopledon't do is talk about the
negatives.
So when you look at socialmedia and you look at that, you
go, oh my gosh, look whathappened in little Johnny's life
or little Suzy's life.
Oh my gosh, they're living thedream.
I wanna be able to live mydream like that.
(08:54):
Oh, look at all those greatthings.
But think about this If youknow a thousand people on social
media and only 200 are writingall the wonderful things that
are happening in their life andthen the other 800 are saying
nothing, why is that?
Because there could be negativethings going on in their life,
but you don't wanna hear it andthey don't wanna share it.
(09:17):
People only want to talk aboutthe amazing things going on in
their life, in their family, intheir professional careers and
guess what?
That's okay, as long as you'renot trying to be somebody else.
Be the greatest you you can be.
Take the steps within yourgrowth of your personal and
(09:39):
professional life and, as Gen Zand millennials, let's not
shoulder the burden of socialmedia, of the news.
Don't get absorbed in somebodyelse's life.
Get absorbed in your own life.
If you know somebody that'salways reaching for the stars
and trying to be somebody else,put your arm around them and say
(10:02):
friend, family member, whateverit may, be the greatest you is,
the you that you can be.
It's cliche as that sounds and,trust me, it sounds cliche and
in many cases it probably is,but I have always learned
(10:27):
through my own mistakes, throughmy own failures.
Is that I have to approve ofmyself before others can approve
of me.
And sometimes you take your ownpsychological factors and you
look at what you're good at, youlook at what you're not and you
(10:47):
look at how can I improve oneof my deficiencies.
I know for me I'm probably ADD.
I'm the type of individual thatI like to work on specific
aspects and then take thoseaspects and roll them all
together to complete one project.
That's how I completed a PhD.
(11:09):
That's how I've been successfulin life of not getting bored,
because don't give me afive-hour project and expect me
to want to dig deep and diveinto this project for five hours
.
I'm going to get bored, I'mgoing to go get dissatisfied and
I'm going to go find somethingelse.
For example, right now I'mteaching at two schools and, on
(11:33):
top of having a full-time joband doing a podcast, having a
son and experiencing family lifeand juggling all that.
Does this sound like a lot?
It is, but I enjoy every bit ofit.
Why?
Because teaching is my passion.
I love helping other people, Ilove sharing the knowledge that
(11:56):
I've accumulated over the yearsand hopefully, I'm helping groom
young leaders and managerswithin these schools.
I love my family life.
Life's not easy.
We all have our struggles.
I've had mine and I will alwayshave struggles because, guess
what?
I'm a human being, just likeyou.
I wear my passion on thesleeves of myself.
(12:21):
It's not hard to know if thingsare going well or they're not,
but I'm always going to do itwith a smile.
Why?
Because, no matter what happens, you woke up today, no matter
how hard things are, you woke uptoday.
That means you've lived anotherday and that should be a good
(12:41):
day.
It is so important to realizeour self-worth without worrying
about what others think of us.
Let's look at this right now.
If you know somebody, oryourself or another Gen Z or
millennial that's strugglingwith mental illness or just not
(13:02):
feeling good overall, it's okay,because the majority of us,
regardless if we're baby boomers, gen Z, gen X, millennials,
whatever it may be we allstruggle with approval, approval
of ourselves, approval of whatother people think of us.
The mental illness is a realthing.
(13:24):
Unfortunately, hundreds ofpeople, thousands of people,
commit suicide on an annualbasis because they were afraid
to get help, or they called forhelp and nobody listened, or
they didn't have a family memberor a great friend that they
could count on.
That is really, really sad.
I worked with some tremendouspeople out there and on the
(13:47):
surface they seem like they'rereally happy, but then you dig
deeper and you find out moreabout them, more about their
life, the troubles they've gonethrough, the upbringing they had
.
You see that there is a realcalling out for help.
That is why we have to be ourown best champion, and the
(14:13):
champion that we can provide iscontinual growth within our
professional and personal lifeand reaching out and ensuring
that we can build on thosefriendships, those family
relationships.
One of the things that withinthe United States is family is
(14:34):
not as strong as it is in othercountries.
My wife is Brazilian.
She's from Brazil and theculture over there is family
first, family above all else.
In the United States I have agreat family.
We're close, but families hereare not the same as in other
(14:58):
parts of the world where You'llfeel comfortable living with
your whole immediate family,secondary family and that's okay
.
I mean you may have a housewhere there's eight to ten
relatives that are sharing rent.
It's out of necessity, but it'salso out of love for the family
and that is why, as Individuals, we have to have the love for
(15:23):
ourselves.
I know that many of you haveheard this before, but it's true
.
How can you love others if youdon't love yourself?
And some of the mostnarcissistic or Peep people that
are self-indulged they may saythat, but the difference is are
(15:46):
they willing to reach out andtruly love someone else?
If you love yourself so muchthat you don't have enough love
for others, that's what you calla self-absorbed individual.
But the flip side of that is ifyou don't love yourself enough
to want to be better, to want toreach out, develop
(16:07):
Relationships and friendships,then that can be a concern and
that's where you have to reachout to the individuals that have
made an impact in your life.
I always like to share personalstories on the podcast, because
personal attributes of what wehave Are the moments that we can
(16:27):
share.
I've shared about this before,but I struggled growing up when
it came to making friends andTrying to be the best.
I grew up and it seemed like alot of the things I did Was
complete failures.
I started out Always aspiringto be more.
(16:48):
The one thing is, I never gaveup and I think that for me, I
worked above all else because Ihad so many failures growing up,
I was picked on, I was beat up,I was made fun of.
And why?
Because I had a smart mouth.
I always seemed to open mymouth and dig a hole for myself.
But I also was not happy aboutwho I was, because I think I
(17:13):
have like ADHD or ADD at thetime, and I didn't realize it,
because, no matter what, Icouldn't keep my mouth shut.
I always dug myself a deeperhole that I could never seem to
get out of, and I always want tobe better.
But I just I had a weak bodyframe.
You know, I hadn't grew into mybody yet, I didn't work out.
(17:33):
I was too young.
So when I became about 13 yearsof age, I wasn't happy.
I knew that if I kept ongetting picked on, beat up, made
fun of, I would never graduatefrom high school, you know, and
I had some many moments where Iwas down and out and I thought
to myself I can't live like this.
(17:55):
It goes back to that fight orflight method.
That fight or flight method.
What is that again?
It's where you either run awayor you attack.
The problem that's in front ofyou.
And the problem for me waspeople that were making fun of
me that where I couldn't Defendmyself.
So what did I start doing?
I started working out, Istarted lifting weights.
(18:16):
I was the weakest kid thescrawny is kid Going into my
eighth grade, year of middleschool.
And when I started middleschool, after what I see me,
when I started the eighth grade,I Was one of the strongest kids
as an incoming eighth grader.
Why?
Because I worked really hard.
I lifted weights with the highschoolers at the high school gym
(18:38):
and, and you know, I feltvalidated about myself.
Again, I was trying to live upto somebody else's standards
because that's what I felt likeI needed to do.
I started playing sports.
I felt like, well, maybe I needto be a jock.
And I started playing football.
I felt very comfortable on theteam and we had a very, very
(19:00):
good team and that's kind of howI begin to.
To connect was with sports.
But going in the high school,things were still hard.
I was still picked on.
I was kind of picked on but Iwas popular.
And then, as I got older inHigh school, I became more
popular, but again that wasrelated to sports wrestling,
(19:22):
football, rugby and then Ialways had that competitive
spirit but I always was livingup to somebody else.
I wanted to be this?
Why?
So I could validate this.
I wanted to do this why?
Because I needed to feel goodabout who I was.
And then, as I grew up, Irealized I'm always chasing what
others should think about me.
(19:44):
And when I me and my wife hadour son seven years ago, all of
a sudden, all those validationsthat I was striving for were
done.
They were done in an instance,almost why?
Because the PhD process wascomplete.
I graduated only one monthafter my son was born and again,
(20:09):
the whole PhD process was aboutme validating I can be a doctor
, I can be doctor, so-and-so.
I can do this Because, truth betold, when I started the PhD
process, I didn't do it becauseI wanted to be a scholastic
(20:30):
individual.
I didn't do it because I wantedto strive to be an academic guru
.
I didn't do it because I wantedto write a book, to have a
podcast, to do all those greatthings.
I did it so I could be DrWiggins.
That made no sense theinvestment, the time.
(20:51):
But then I had to reassess whyI was doing it over time, and
then I realized I had to changemy focus.
And then I realized the focusis about being a scholar that
has the ability to generatenewfound knowledge that has
(21:12):
never been found before.
And I took a new focus andthat's where I started really
realizing that, wow, wow, I canpotentially make an impact on
others.
And then you take thatfootprint and you begin to put
(21:33):
it elsewhere.
People ask me why would you wantto do a PhD?
And I'm not going to tell thetrue reason, because I was
validating myself, because Iwanted to be somebody, just to
be somebody, so people could gowow, he was success.
Before I realized that success.
Success, as I mentioned before,is in the eye of the beholder.
(21:58):
Quits, running for the hillsand trying to throw your hands
up in the air like Rocky, I didit.
I did it because you shout tothe mountain tops.
I did it.
Well, guess what?
What if nobody cared?
Wouldn't you caring about whatyou did for your own achievement
(22:21):
?
Because you wanted to do it,because you wanted to make
yourself a better person and notdo it for somebody else.
Well, unfortunately, we're humanbeings and we are.
We are, you know, basicallyprogrammed to please others, and
(22:43):
that's where mental illness andall of those sort of things
plays a big part.
This podcast, I don't do it forany monetary value.
I do it because I hope ifyou're listening on the other
side, you go.
You know what?
Dr Jason has some good points.
(23:05):
He's just like me.
He's struggled.
Just like me, he's mademistakes.
He's found new ways ofreinventing himself,
understanding that we all haveflaws, but it's about maximizing
those flaws to be somethingbeneficial beneficial to others,
(23:28):
understanding that we are whowe are because of our actions,
and that is why the decisions wemake today will affect our
future tomorrow.
We can't worry about yesterday.
We can't get back yesterday.
Yesterday is gone.
(23:48):
So let's not continue to dwellin the past.
If your past has been less thanperfect, that's okay, because
you have no control over what'salready been done.
Done is done, but now, if youor someone else you know is
starting to look towards thefuture, the future's bright.
(24:10):
The future is always bright,even if you haven't done what
you wanna do today.
The motivational aspect of thispodcast is understanding that
our impact is the decisions wemake.
So let's look at this.
(24:32):
I challenge each and every oneof you to view the successes in
your life and then take thosesuccesses and see how that can
benefit you in the future.
We all have tools that we canutilize.
We've learned things throughour experiences.
But then look at yourself andstate the obvious.
(24:56):
It may be obvious to everybodyelse, but it may not be obvious
to yourself.
We are all good at something.
We all have talents.
Take those talents and dowhat's best for you.
Stop worrying about whateverybody else is thinking about
you, because guess what?
The only person that you haveto please is yourself, and once
(25:21):
you please yourself, everythingelse will fall into place.
I believe in myself.
It took me a long time to saythat.
It took me 40 plus years tounderstand that.
But the validation I got frommy son when he looked at me.
He doesn't look at me becauseof Dr Wiggins.
(25:42):
He looks at me because I'm hisdad.
I'm his hero in his eyes.
Why?
Because I'm me.
His mom is his hero.
Why?
Because she is her, and that'show everyone of.
So if you have kids and youdon't just look at it that way,
if they were there, what wouldthey say about you?
(26:04):
They look into your eyes.
They don't know anything better, and that sometimes is the
fruit of all the labor.
So I hope you take this podcastto heart Again.
This is for Gen Z andmillennials to help you
professionally and personallyand feel motivated.
I'm not gonna go into any quotestoday or the what would you do
(26:27):
moment, but what I would say isbe a lending hand if someone
that needs your help Mentalillness is a serious thing and,
at the same time, look at howyou can be a better version of
yourself in your own eyes, honeyour own skills and be happy
about who you are, because youare the best version of you.
(26:50):
So I wanna thank everybody forlistening.
Please share.
If you wanna reach out to mevia email, you can reach out to
me via Jason at Gen Z andMillennialExpertcom.
I look forward to hearing fromyou and sharing with the
audience as we continue to haveour weekly podcast.
(27:12):
So, again, we try to have thesepodcasts on Monday, but
sometimes life happens and thatis either with school or work or
family.
But I always try to providegreat content and be ready for
the next show.
So, thank you, take care, besafe and we'll see you on our
(27:34):
next podcast.
Take care, bye-bye.
Hello friends, welcome to your motivational Gen
Z and Millennial Expert podcast.
I am your host, dr JasonWiggins, and it is great to be
here.
I thank you for listening.
We appreciate your listenership.
The podcast is doing terrificand we owe that all to you.
(00:21):
You can catch it on any of yourfavorite platforms.
Feel free to share it with yourfriends, your coworkers, as we
continue to move forward.
This podcast is for Gen Z andMillennials, and the main aspect
of this podcast is to motivate,inspire and talk about Gen Z
(00:42):
and Millennials and how we cannot only just improve our
professional lives, but how wecan improve our personal lives.
So let's go ahead and get ourheads right and get this podcast
on the road.
I've been thinking abouttoday's topic and where we could
(01:03):
kind of go from here andstreamline, and I thought to
myself at the end of the day,you know, what really we have to
be accountable for is ourself.
Because Gen Z and Millennialsthe one thing that probably
ticks off these two groups themost is being typecast.
(01:26):
This is who you should be, thisis who you are, this is what
statistics say, this is how wethink that you should act, and
that's when it really came to me, it is about honing your own
skills and revolutionizing whatwe do and you do on a daily
(01:51):
basis and the important aspectsno matter what you do in life,
how you continue to grow as anindividual, within your
organization, within yourself,within your family, there's only
one thing that you can count on, and this is where this podcast
is going to go in the direction.
(02:12):
The only one thing that you cancount on is being yourself.
Nobody should be anybody.
They're not.
Unless you're an actor whereyou have to play a role of an
identified character and takethe role of that character, then
(02:33):
we should just utilize ourtalents that we've been given
and really take that to the nextlevel and therefore, being who
you are is guaranteed, the onlything that is guaranteed within
(02:55):
your life.
And that's the one thing Ilooked at growing up, because I
found myself aspiring to alwaysbe someone else, aspiring to be
a typecast of somebody I wantedto be.
I can think back early in mycollege years.
(03:15):
I remember seeing a professorat school with it at Washington
State and I said to myself lookat that professor.
He's dressed sharply in abusiness suit, he's driving a
modest SUV and he is groomednicely.
And I thought to myself one dayI hope to be a professional
(03:40):
just like that.
And then there was another time, when I was working in
restaurants.
I would see all these businessfolks come in for breakfast and
I would look at them and go youknow what I want to one day go
into the restaurant, be dressedreally nicely, look professional
(04:02):
and be somebody important.
And again, I'm typecastingmyself as somebody I want to be.
Now don't get me wrong.
I think it's great to mentorpeople.
I think it's great when you seesomething you like and you want
to aspire to be somebody likethat.
(04:22):
But what I'm saying is, don'ttake it the next step to where
you begin to get infatuated withbeing somebody like this,
somebody like that.
Do it because you love it.
And it took me many, many yearstrying to satisfy everybody else
(04:44):
about how I should be versuswho I am, and I have found that
important in my when I mentorothers, when people have asked
me what I should do.
It's interesting.
I had a conversation with ayoung man today and he said well
(05:08):
, you know, because he knew mefrom 14 years ago.
And he said to me he says youknow, you seem successful,
you've been success, you'resuccessful.
And I said success is in theeye of the beholder.
And why is it in the eye of thebeholder?
(05:28):
Because we really, trulyourselves know if we're
successful.
What is success?
Success, ultimately, is what wethink it is.
It's what motivates us, it'swhat validates us, it's what
makes us feel important, and theonly thing we can guarantee
(05:54):
with our own personal lives isthat we live it the best we can.
If we don't live it the best wecan, that's okay, but as long
as we can say, I'm okay with it.
There's a lot of people thatmake a lot of decisions in life
(06:14):
that don't always make sense.
It doesn't make sense to you,it doesn't make sense to me.
Why do they do that?
Sometimes it's impulse,sometimes it's just because they
make bad decisions or theydon't really care.
They're going to live theirlife the way they want to and
guess what?
(06:34):
They will absorb thoserepercussions as they come,
knowing that their decisionmaking is going to ultimately
decide what success means tothem.
I've always looked at it thisway we have almost all the
(06:59):
control for our own well-beingand our own success.
That is why, going back to whatwe talked about at the
beginning of the discussion was.
Success is about honing our ownskills and being true to
ourself.
The only one that can bedisappointed in what we do is
(07:23):
ourself, and therefore we lookat it.
How can we change it?
How can we be better?
How can we be greater than weever hoped we could be?
And when I say hope we could be, that is a huge, monumental,
eye-raising question, becausethe answer is we can fulfill our
(07:47):
own self-prophecy and that isby taking the steps necessary.
But when I say take the stepsnecessary, it does not mean
fulfill and live up tosomebody's expectations.
I was fortunate growing up thatthe expectations that were put
on me were not daunting, theywere not high.
(08:10):
I feel kids of today's societyhave so much pressure on their
shoulders with all the selfgratification the internet, the
YouTube, the social media sitesabout everybody's out there in
social media land talking aboutall the wonderful things in
(08:32):
their life, but what peopledon't do is talk about the
negatives.
So when you look at socialmedia and you look at that, you
go, oh my gosh, look whathappened in little Johnny's life
or little Suzy's life.
Oh my gosh, they're living thedream.
I wanna be able to live mydream like that.
(08:54):
Oh, look at all those greatthings.
But think about this If youknow a thousand people on social
media and only 200 are writingall the wonderful things that
are happening in their life andthen the other 800 are saying
nothing, why is that?
Because there could be negativethings going on in their life,
but you don't wanna hear it andthey don't wanna share it.
(09:17):
People only want to talk aboutthe amazing things going on in
their life, in their family, intheir professional careers and
guess what?
That's okay, as long as you'renot trying to be somebody else.
Be the greatest you you can be.
Take the steps within yourgrowth of your personal and
(09:39):
professional life and, as Gen Zand millennials, let's not
shoulder the burden of socialmedia, of the news.
Don't get absorbed in somebodyelse's life.
Get absorbed in your own life.
If you know somebody that'salways reaching for the stars
and trying to be somebody else,put your arm around them and say
(10:02):
friend, family member, whateverit may, be the greatest you is,
the you that you can be.
It's cliche as that sounds and,trust me, it sounds cliche and
in many cases it probably is,but I have always learned
(10:27):
through my own mistakes, throughmy own failures.
Is that I have to approve ofmyself before others can approve
of me.
And sometimes you take your ownpsychological factors and you
look at what you're good at, youlook at what you're not and you
(10:47):
look at how can I improve oneof my deficiencies.
I know for me I'm probably ADD.
I'm the type of individual thatI like to work on specific
aspects and then take thoseaspects and roll them all
together to complete one project.
That's how I completed a PhD.
(11:09):
That's how I've been successfulin life of not getting bored,
because don't give me afive-hour project and expect me
to want to dig deep and diveinto this project for five hours
.
I'm going to get bored, I'mgoing to go get dissatisfied and
I'm going to go find somethingelse.
For example, right now I'mteaching at two schools and, on
(11:33):
top of having a full-time joband doing a podcast, having a
son and experiencing family lifeand juggling all that.
Does this sound like a lot?
It is, but I enjoy every bit ofit.
Why?
Because teaching is my passion.
I love helping other people, Ilove sharing the knowledge that
(11:56):
I've accumulated over the yearsand hopefully, I'm helping groom
young leaders and managerswithin these schools.
I love my family life.
Life's not easy.
We all have our struggles.
I've had mine and I will alwayshave struggles because, guess
what?
I'm a human being, just likeyou.
I wear my passion on thesleeves of myself.
(12:21):
It's not hard to know if thingsare going well or they're not,
but I'm always going to do itwith a smile.
Why?
Because, no matter what happens, you woke up today, no matter
how hard things are, you woke uptoday.
That means you've lived anotherday and that should be a good
(12:41):
day.
It is so important to realizeour self-worth without worrying
about what others think of us.
Let's look at this right now.
If you know somebody, oryourself or another Gen Z or
millennial that's strugglingwith mental illness or just not
(13:02):
feeling good overall, it's okay,because the majority of us,
regardless if we're baby boomers, gen Z, gen X, millennials,
whatever it may be we allstruggle with approval, approval
of ourselves, approval of whatother people think of us.
The mental illness is a realthing.
(13:24):
Unfortunately, hundreds ofpeople, thousands of people,
commit suicide on an annualbasis because they were afraid
to get help, or they called forhelp and nobody listened, or
they didn't have a family memberor a great friend that they
could count on.
That is really, really sad.
I worked with some tremendouspeople out there and on the
(13:47):
surface they seem like they'rereally happy, but then you dig
deeper and you find out moreabout them, more about their
life, the troubles they've gonethrough, the upbringing they had
.
You see that there is a realcalling out for help.
That is why we have to be ourown best champion, and the
(14:13):
champion that we can provide iscontinual growth within our
professional and personal lifeand reaching out and ensuring
that we can build on thosefriendships, those family
relationships.
One of the things that withinthe United States is family is
(14:34):
not as strong as it is in othercountries.
My wife is Brazilian.
She's from Brazil and theculture over there is family
first, family above all else.
In the United States I have agreat family.
We're close, but families hereare not the same as in other
(14:58):
parts of the world where You'llfeel comfortable living with
your whole immediate family,secondary family and that's okay
.
I mean you may have a housewhere there's eight to ten
relatives that are sharing rent.
It's out of necessity, but it'salso out of love for the family
and that is why, as Individuals, we have to have the love for
(15:23):
ourselves.
I know that many of you haveheard this before, but it's true
.
How can you love others if youdon't love yourself?
And some of the mostnarcissistic or Peep people that
are self-indulged they may saythat, but the difference is are
(15:46):
they willing to reach out andtruly love someone else?
If you love yourself so muchthat you don't have enough love
for others, that's what you calla self-absorbed individual.
But the flip side of that is ifyou don't love yourself enough
to want to be better, to want toreach out, develop
(16:07):
Relationships and friendships,then that can be a concern and
that's where you have to reachout to the individuals that have
made an impact in your life.
I always like to share personalstories on the podcast, because
personal attributes of what wehave Are the moments that we can
(16:27):
share.
I've shared about this before,but I struggled growing up when
it came to making friends andTrying to be the best.
I grew up and it seemed like alot of the things I did Was
complete failures.
I started out Always aspiringto be more.
(16:48):
The one thing is, I never gaveup and I think that for me, I
worked above all else because Ihad so many failures growing up,
I was picked on, I was beat up,I was made fun of.
And why?
Because I had a smart mouth.
I always seemed to open mymouth and dig a hole for myself.
But I also was not happy aboutwho I was, because I think I
(17:13):
have like ADHD or ADD at thetime, and I didn't realize it,
because, no matter what, Icouldn't keep my mouth shut.
I always dug myself a deeperhole that I could never seem to
get out of, and I always want tobe better.
But I just I had a weak bodyframe.
You know, I hadn't grew into mybody yet, I didn't work out.
(17:33):
I was too young.
So when I became about 13 yearsof age, I wasn't happy.
I knew that if I kept ongetting picked on, beat up, made
fun of, I would never graduatefrom high school, you know, and
I had some many moments where Iwas down and out and I thought
to myself I can't live like this.
(17:55):
It goes back to that fight orflight method.
That fight or flight method.
What is that again?
It's where you either run awayor you attack.
The problem that's in front ofyou.
And the problem for me waspeople that were making fun of
me that where I couldn't Defendmyself.
So what did I start doing?
I started working out, Istarted lifting weights.
(18:16):
I was the weakest kid thescrawny is kid Going into my
eighth grade, year of middleschool.
And when I started middleschool, after what I see me,
when I started the eighth grade,I Was one of the strongest kids
as an incoming eighth grader.
Why?
Because I worked really hard.
I lifted weights with the highschoolers at the high school gym
(18:38):
and, and you know, I feltvalidated about myself.
Again, I was trying to live upto somebody else's standards
because that's what I felt likeI needed to do.
I started playing sports.
I felt like, well, maybe I needto be a jock.
And I started playing football.
I felt very comfortable on theteam and we had a very, very
(19:00):
good team and that's kind of howI begin to.
To connect was with sports.
But going in the high school,things were still hard.
I was still picked on.
I was kind of picked on but Iwas popular.
And then, as I got older inHigh school, I became more
popular, but again that wasrelated to sports wrestling,
(19:22):
football, rugby and then Ialways had that competitive
spirit but I always was livingup to somebody else.
I wanted to be this?
Why?
So I could validate this.
I wanted to do this why?
Because I needed to feel goodabout who I was.
And then, as I grew up, Irealized I'm always chasing what
others should think about me.
(19:44):
And when I me and my wife hadour son seven years ago, all of
a sudden, all those validationsthat I was striving for were
done.
They were done in an instance,almost why?
Because the PhD process wascomplete.
I graduated only one monthafter my son was born and again,
(20:09):
the whole PhD process was aboutme validating I can be a doctor
, I can be doctor, so-and-so.
I can do this Because, truth betold, when I started the PhD
process, I didn't do it becauseI wanted to be a scholastic
(20:30):
individual.
I didn't do it because I wantedto strive to be an academic guru
.
I didn't do it because I wantedto write a book, to have a
podcast, to do all those greatthings.
I did it so I could be DrWiggins.
That made no sense theinvestment, the time.
(20:51):
But then I had to reassess whyI was doing it over time, and
then I realized I had to changemy focus.
And then I realized the focusis about being a scholar that
has the ability to generatenewfound knowledge that has
(21:12):
never been found before.
And I took a new focus andthat's where I started really
realizing that, wow, wow, I canpotentially make an impact on
others.
And then you take thatfootprint and you begin to put
(21:33):
it elsewhere.
People ask me why would you wantto do a PhD?
And I'm not going to tell thetrue reason, because I was
validating myself, because Iwanted to be somebody, just to
be somebody, so people could gowow, he was success.
Before I realized that success.
Success, as I mentioned before,is in the eye of the beholder.
(21:58):
Quits, running for the hillsand trying to throw your hands
up in the air like Rocky, I didit.
I did it because you shout tothe mountain tops.
I did it.
Well, guess what?
What if nobody cared?
Wouldn't you caring about whatyou did for your own achievement
(22:21):
?
Because you wanted to do it,because you wanted to make
yourself a better person and notdo it for somebody else.
Well, unfortunately, we're humanbeings and we are.
We are, you know, basicallyprogrammed to please others, and
(22:43):
that's where mental illness andall of those sort of things
plays a big part.
This podcast, I don't do it forany monetary value.
I do it because I hope ifyou're listening on the other
side, you go.
You know what?
Dr Jason has some good points.
(23:05):
He's just like me.
He's struggled.
Just like me, he's mademistakes.
He's found new ways ofreinventing himself,
understanding that we all haveflaws, but it's about maximizing
those flaws to be somethingbeneficial beneficial to others,
(23:28):
understanding that we are whowe are because of our actions,
and that is why the decisions wemake today will affect our
future tomorrow.
We can't worry about yesterday.
We can't get back yesterday.
Yesterday is gone.
(23:48):
So let's not continue to dwellin the past.
If your past has been less thanperfect, that's okay, because
you have no control over what'salready been done.
Done is done, but now, if youor someone else you know is
starting to look towards thefuture, the future's bright.
(24:10):
The future is always bright,even if you haven't done what
you wanna do today.
The motivational aspect of thispodcast is understanding that
our impact is the decisions wemake.
So let's look at this.
(24:32):
I challenge each and every oneof you to view the successes in
your life and then take thosesuccesses and see how that can
benefit you in the future.
We all have tools that we canutilize.
We've learned things throughour experiences.
But then look at yourself andstate the obvious.
(24:56):
It may be obvious to everybodyelse, but it may not be obvious
to yourself.
We are all good at something.
We all have talents.
Take those talents and dowhat's best for you.
Stop worrying about whateverybody else is thinking about
you, because guess what?
The only person that you haveto please is yourself, and once
(25:21):
you please yourself, everythingelse will fall into place.
I believe in myself.
It took me a long time to saythat.
It took me 40 plus years tounderstand that.
But the validation I got frommy son when he looked at me.
He doesn't look at me becauseof Dr Wiggins.
(25:42):
He looks at me because I'm hisdad.
I'm his hero in his eyes.
Why?
Because I'm me.
His mom is his hero.
Why?
Because she is her, and that'show everyone of.
So if you have kids and youdon't just look at it that way,
if they were there, what wouldthey say about you?
(26:04):
They look into your eyes.
They don't know anything better, and that sometimes is the
fruit of all the labor.
So I hope you take this podcastto heart Again.
This is for Gen Z andmillennials to help you
professionally and personallyand feel motivated.
I'm not gonna go into any quotestoday or the what would you do
(26:27):
moment, but what I would say isbe a lending hand if someone
that needs your help Mentalillness is a serious thing and,
at the same time, look at howyou can be a better version of
yourself in your own eyes, honeyour own skills and be happy
about who you are, because youare the best version of you.
(26:50):
So I wanna thank everybody forlistening.
Please share.
If you wanna reach out to mevia email, you can reach out to
me via Jason at Gen Z andMillennialExpertcom.
I look forward to hearing fromyou and sharing with the
audience as we continue to haveour weekly podcast.
(27:12):
So, again, we try to have thesepodcasts on Monday, but
sometimes life happens and thatis either with school or work or
family.
But I always try to providegreat content and be ready for
the next show.
So, thank you, take care, besafe and we'll see you on our
(27:34):
next podcast.
Take care, bye-bye.
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