Have you ever crossed paths with a stranger and wondered about the proper way to acknowledge them, or whether your friendly smile might be misinterpreted? Join Lamont, Shirley, and Big Sterling as we unravel the nuanced fabric of social etiquette and the unspoken codes that shape our daily interactions. From the tightrope men walk in public spaces to avoid being seen as threatening, to the debate over whether black women are perceived to have different standards of etiquette, we're not holding back in this candid and lively discussion on respect and generational shifts in manners.
Navigating family life can feel like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded, and we're here to share the cheat codes. Listen as we dissect the intricate dance of step-parenting, from disciplining children in blended families to being a 'bonus dad'. Hear our personal stories filled with vulnerability as we discuss the do's and don'ts of introducing new partners to your children and the emotional juggle of giving non-resident kids the attention they crave. It's about striking that delicate balance between family harmony and ensuring every member feels valued.
But wait, there's more! We're peeling back the curtain on those ever-tricky dating waters, especially when kids are in the picture. Our hosts reveal their personal rules and break down the financial expectations when you're seeing someone with children from previous relationships. And for the sports fans, we've got a treat: our raw take on the NBA playoffs, Knicks glory, and the endearing moments spent connecting with absentee parents. Buckle up for a ride through the complexities of life's relational dynamics on the Your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome.
Welcome to the your OpinionDoesn't Matter podcast.
I am one of the hosts, mrLamont, and I'm here with one of
my original hosts and we have anew member to the squad.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hopefully he stays, hopefully hopefully, yeah, yeah,
yeah, big up.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
This is Big Sterling, aka Sterling Glad to be part of
the team.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
And we have none other.
The great.
You know, she's a magician,she's in and out, but when she
says she's very impactful, likea robbery, yes, yes, shirley,
how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm well, I'm well.
How are you guys doing?
Hey doing.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hey man, everything is okay, kind of sort of.
I had a little situationyesterday, uh-oh, yeah, I was
walking with my daughter and I'mgoing to get something to eat.
So I'm walking with my daughter, my daughter's on the inside
I'm walking and I see this lady.
She's outside of a vehicle andwhen I'm walking I try not to
(01:06):
like stare women in their face.
Okay, because I don't want.
No, you know, I don't want nomixed signals.
I want them to feel a way like,okay, this guy, he wants me
Creep signals.
Yeah, creep signals, right.
So then I'm like this, I'm likeand I'm with my daughter
Especially, I don't look womenin the eyes when I'm with my
daughter.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So now I'm walking, I see her right, she's like right
over here.
Now I'm getting closer, now I'mlooking down, right, right, so
we don't even need to go there.
Right, right, right, yo, assoon as I get close, as soon as
I get close, she's right herenow.
She says hello.
I look at her, I say hello.
(01:48):
A little aggressive.
Yeah, like she was saying it ina way like you know, you're
supposed to, You're supposed tono, no, no, here's the kicker
now.
Now, as I'm passing her, shesays hello.
And I say hello, I'm passingher here.
I go back to look down at mydaughter.
She goes, she says pick up yourhead and say good morning.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Your daughter said that no the lady.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
The lady said that so what did you say?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I looked at my daughter Me and her was walking.
I looked at her.
I said who's she talking to?
You're including her.
My daughter said she's talkingto you, dad.
I said no, she's not.
I said she's talking to you.
She said no, she must betalking to herself, right?
I'm like?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
but why you were going into the same spot.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
No, she was just on the side block.
I parked on the side block, butI'm like, why, why, why.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Who does she think she is?
It could be two things.
It could be she wanted yourattention, or it could just be.
I feel like our generation wasthe last generation to
acknowledge people Just casually.
You know what I mean.
And there's nothing wrong withthat when I step into a.
Like I say, I went to abreakfast the other morning and
(03:04):
it was a crowd of older peoplewhen I walked through and I was
like good morning.
And they got kind of shockedand they said good morning.
And then the older lady waslike no one says good morning
anymore.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I feel you, but you don't say that in front of my
daughter.
You don't do that.
You don't do that.
What do you think sir?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I kind of feel the same way.
What do you think, sal?
I kind of feel the same way.
How things are now, like Masaid, you kind of men are scared
to say hello and make eyecontact with women, like in the
gym.
When I'm in the gym working out, if there's a woman right in
front of me I make sure I don'tlook, because they're quick to
call you a creep and say youhave creepy intentions.
So therefore I just try toavoid the attention altogether.
(03:42):
But in that sense it's reallybad.
I mean, society is goingdownhill where a man can and a
woman can't cross each other andsay hello to each other without
being judged in a negativemanner, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, can't win.
Can't win for saying hello.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
So how did it end?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I didn't say nothing to her.
Were you both going intoSybil's?
No, I was around the cornerfrom Sybil's.
I was around the corner fromthere.
So you weren't going in thesame place.
Nope, she was standing by hercar and it was just weird to me
and that was it.
She didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything to her,but she says pick your head up.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Pick your head up and you know it's backtrack.
Pick your head up, it's likeand she said it's morning.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
She didn't say good morning, it was 1230 in the
afternoon.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
She lost track of time and this ho is telling me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I could have really got her man for talking like
that, but your daughter wasthere, I was just humble and
righteous man.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I think it was coming from a good place from her.
She just wanted that commoncourtesy and respect from her.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It could be, but just the way to say it, you don't
say you already had an attitudeto say hello, or like you're
strong on me to say hello back,and then now you say, pick your
head up and say good morning,which brings with the
aggressiveness which brings meto ask do you think that black
(05:04):
women lack etiquette?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
hell yeah especially now.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I only said that because I want to put all my
grandkids in etiquette school.
There's some things I justdidn't learn from my parents and
I think that, no, I just thinkthat they didn't know, you know,
they didn't just how to eat,how to place a fork, how, when
you eat, you don't go down tohow to sit.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I feel that when you eat, no elbows on the table.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
No elbows on the table.
I feel like some of us lacketiquette.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Well, let me ask you a question.
This format of etiquette andadvocacy, who laid that down?
What do you mean Meaning thatfrom our West Indian side do we
hear that type of talk?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
It was passed down.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It was passed down, but I'm talking Big spoon for
this, this, that and the, butI'm talking about Jack and.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Jill type of etiquette.
You guys know what Jack andJill is.
That's that society.
I don't know too much about it,but it's kind of like
debutante-ish, I think.
You have to be invited in andthese kids are-.
Oh man, it's like the what'sthat Illuminati?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
It's not Illuminati.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's not Illuminati.
It's not Illuminati, it's justyou have to be invited in.
I don't know.
If you have to have a certainamount of money, then they have
like dances and Class thing, Ithink I don't know too much
about it, but I've been hearingabout it.
I think they have like.
I think they have like.
I think the Black Chapter is inPark Slope.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I'm not too sure Mason type of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, but I'm sure etiquette has been passed down
from Not Mason, but go ahead.
I'm sure etiquette has beenpassed down from the oppressors,
the slave masters, and it'sbeen passed down and I feel like
the slaves that work insideseeing that type of etiquette
and then they pass it on totheir kids and then it trickled
down to the island kids.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And then it trickled down to to the island.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Oh okay, I was just wondering who, who, um you know
who said?
Who set that off the etiquette?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I think etiquette is what is big in my family?
I'm sorry, oh, it is big okay,so who?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
who in your family?
Who was?
Who was the responsible party?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
yeah, well, yeah, how my situation go.
My father came from a wealthyfamily, okay, and my mother was
the opposite, so he grew up witha lot of etiquette and he was
the one that tried to pass itdown to his kids.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
And I think it's environment too.
Yeah, Environment, Because mycousins from Long Island and me,
we speak different.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You know, like I don't want to say just their
speech and the way theyarticulate, and it comes from
where they grew up, where theywent to school.
It's all intertwined.
So I really want to put all mygrand, both males.
I have four, so I believe themale, the boy grandchildren
(08:06):
would benefit, just like thefemale grandchildren, the girl
grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, but what are they going to really learn, Like
, how are you going to applythat to life?
How I mean, like as far assilverware and all that stuff?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It's not even silverware.
It's the way you eat, the wayyou speak, the way you carry
yourself, the way you carryyourself.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
So it's everything way you eat, the way you speak,
the way you carry yourself.
So it's everything.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's everything, okay , not just a fork and not eating
like this that's supposed tobring it to your mouth.
You know like it goes a longway.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, our kids need it.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Of course we do it's true, we're going to get into a
discussion about beingstep-parents and the
difficulties that come with it.
And you know, in a perfectworld you know a guy meets a
girl, you know they get married,they have kids and then they
live happily ever after.
But in a real world thatdoesn't happen and you know
(09:00):
relationships get broken up andkids are products of these
relationships and they get leftbehind.
So after that the mother or thefather of the child meets
somebody else and the person hasto be real careful about how
they try to discipline thischild, discipline this child.
(09:23):
And I think in a situation likethat, before you even try to
discipline this child, you haveto get the okay from the
custodial parent.
You know Agreed, like if I meetyou when you already have a
daughter I mean you get seriousand I want to discipline your
(09:45):
daughter you have to come andsay to me oh listen, sterling, I
give you the okay.
She needs that discipline.
I don't think I could take itupon myself and start to
verbally be verbally aggressiveor physically aggressive with
that child unless I get thatokay from you.
And if the father's in the life, I think it's a good idea to
get the okay from him too.
You understand If he comesaround sometime, picks the kid
(10:08):
up.
You know you just don't want tobe screaming on somebody else's
child because that's asensitive issue and people get
really mad and that could turnreally physical.
What are your views on that?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
It's broad with me, like at one point, does she
bring you in?
Wait, I'm going to let youspeak.
I believe that the dad and youshould have a nice understanding
, right, I think that she should.
Even before that, I want afederal background check.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I want to make sure.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Not for money.
I just want to make sure youdon't have no situations where
Childcare, childcare, pedophilia, of course.
People just don't go thereanymore and you should, and at
the point that you might have tobabysit said daughter and son.
(11:02):
If dad is living, he needs to.
You need you and him need tohave a conversation he needs he
needs to be like hey, let's.
He might like say listen, Idon't want you disciplining her.
What if he says I don't wantyou to discipline her?
Here's my number.
I need you to contact me.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I'm fine with that.
How do you feel about that one?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
you know, um, sometimes, sometimes it's like
it like in the moment, I getwhat y'all are saying, like
ahead of time you have thatconversation, but there's times
when it's like yo, on the spot,you got to react and like I'm a
stepfather, soon to be married,so I'll be the stepfather.
But sometimes I struggle withoh, it's a struggle.
(11:44):
I struggle with discipliningthe kid and it's a boy too, and
the father's not in his life.
God rest his dead.
He passed away.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Oh, that's a different scenario.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And the kid is 17.
So it's like, you know, whenyou and he's caught up, you know
doing different things, or youknow I, sometimes I'll be
feeling powerless.
You know, Okay, I'll be feelingpowerless and it's good to have
that conversation.
Even when you have thatconversation like I have it with
(12:14):
my fiance, it doesn't.
It can wind up backfiring.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Saying oh, now you're in a relationship with him or
you know you don't spend enoughtime with him, and all of this
other stuff.
But that's a mom beingprotective over her son and it's
a slippery slope.
It's really, really slipperyslope being a step-parent.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I've had this conversation with my mom for
several times.
You know I was a single mom.
If I can do it all over again,I wouldn't date till my son left
the house, because when thesechildren have, when their
parents are split, they alreadyhave.
They don't even have theirfathers full under by detention.
(12:57):
He's not in the home.
Their mom gets, uh, gets a, apartner, especially with males,
females too, but I know from amale point of view Now you're,
and then like at that age you'relike, really you're, it's a,
it's.
You know you have to give yourman attention.
(13:17):
He feels like you're not givinghim that much attention.
And then it's like I wouldn't.
If I can do it all over again,attention wise, I feel like I
should have.
Just I should.
I should have put all my energyinto my son and I'm not going
to say and I have a little flexwhere he go away for the weekend
and I do my thing, but Iprobably wouldn't.
(13:39):
If I could do it over again, Iwouldn't bring a male around my
son until he was out of thehouse.
I wish I would have made thatcommitment.
I wish somebody would havetalked to me and be like hey,
you need to.
You, know his father's in andout, and this boy needs your you
know your undivided attentionas a mom.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
What if the male friend you're dealing with you
feel like this is the one andyou could possibly have a future
with him?
In order to ensure that future,I feel like he has to really be
around you and the child to geta little idea of how the
dynamic is.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You know, I think I still would have like.
With what?
Everything that transpired inmy life, I think I would have
been.
I would have stuck to thatdecision.
No, no males till till.
My son is out of the house.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Understandable, understandable.
I've been through it and I havea success story.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
So you're saying stepfather,like if it's a stepfather.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I feel like it's a bonus dad.
No, no, no.
Now she's my child, she's mydaughter, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Oh, you adopted her.
Well, we're a family now, okay.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Okay, yeah.
So when I first met my wife, wewas feeling each other out.
I met the child.
Okay, the child was a little.
I mean, it's my daughter, Icould talk about it.
She was a little rude.
At the moment she was fiveyears old.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Okay, man, five and rude, maybe she was a little
angry.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
She was like you know who's this guy your mom is
bringing around.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
They wanted attention Like who are you?
You're not dad, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
And I felt the same way.
I was a little apprehensivewith her because I'm like I'm
not your dad, you know Right,and I'm not going to.
The dad is still.
He's still around.
He lives in another country,but they communicate.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
But as we got closer, me and my wife got I worked for
the board of education.
My wife had to work, I was off,Daughter was off.
She's like could you watch her?
I'm like, oh man, I reallydon't want to.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
You know what I'm saying, but I had to do it, you
know to support the household,you know.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
So I did it.
There was.
She was a little rude.
She was staying in the office.
One time the doorbell rang andshe ran to the door and I'm like
, get your ass back in the room,you know.
So while I open the door, shecomes there and I'm like, didn't
I tell you I had to get in theroom?
And she looks me up and down infront of the guests and they
(15:56):
look at me like, you know,embarrassing you have no control
of your child, you know soright after.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I took it.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
What you going to do she gave me that up and down.
Then, after she left, I calledher mother and I said listen, I
can't do this anymore.
She's like what do you mean?
I told her what happened andwhen she got home she said
listen, we need to talk.
She's like I'm going to giveyou the okay.
She's like if she ever doesanything like that, you will
handle it.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
She didn't tell me to beat her or anything she just
told me I give you the okay todiscipline her.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
And I'm like I was like oh word, and she was like
yeah, and from that day on meand that child became closer, I
took her into my wing, Idisciplined her.
I explained why I disciplinedher, because with children now
you got to kind of give anexplanation.
I think it's easier todiscipline them the younger they
are.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Like five.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
It's easier than to post a teenager that's not going
to want to hear what you'resaying.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
You understand what I'm saying Because you met your
bonus son, a teenager.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, listen, if you you're like damn it, if you do
damn it, if you do damn it, ifyou don't, now, once you don't,
that person, that child, feellike they have power.
They could actually manipulateyeah, and they could.
Just it could be, it could berough.
It could be rough.
More things is coming at you,more things is coming at you.
(17:18):
There was, there was man it'snot easy, it's, but that's why
you?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
need the support of the mother.
You and the mother got to be onthe same page At first.
She's going to feel betrayed,the child's going to feel
betrayed and she's going to feellike she's betraying the child.
But it's for the better.
It's for the better of thechild.
How old is she now?
Oh, now she's 20.
Oh, wow, we're best friendswhen we walk.
She holds my hand.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Nice that's a lot of years 15.
Yeah, I've been with her a lotof years.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
She's the best.
Okay, have you ever had anybodydiscipline your son?
Did that ever happen to you?
Like say on?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
the spot.
No, no, but I dated somebodyand he did not like the person
and I was like, oh, he's tryingto sabotage me, he don't want me
to, you know.
But he didn't like thisparticular male for a legit
reason.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
And you know, caused a riff or whatever the case may
be, but um, he had to, he had tovibe, yeah.
But I never had um.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yelling.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
What about yelling Like they didn't get along?
It was like oh my God you know.
It was like oh my God you know.
So yeah, but not.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
What do you do in a situation like that, when the
stepchild just doesn't like theperson that you're dating?
I mean, could the child havesome kind of intuition and see
something that you don't see?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, he did, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You got to listen to him, you got to listen to him.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
He did, he did and you got to listen to your kid.
You got to listen to your kid.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
It was at the time I was like like late 20s, you know
you, you damn near at that age.
If you're not married, you'reauditioning to be a wife, and I
thought this was the one, butclearly he wasn't.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, sometimes they have that intuition, just like
women have that intuition whenyou bring a new female into the
house you know, most of the timewhen you bring them home and
your mom and your sister be likeI don't like her.
Oh yeah, something wrong andthe other way around too.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Like when your girl cousin brings a guy around me,
as men we'd be like nah,something wrong with you, you
know what I'm saying.
And later, on.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I didn't see.
I just I just thought he wasyou know, and it was.
He was at that age like 13, 14,where you know how it is.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Rebellion.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Rebellion.
Sometimes you don't even likeyour own kids, like sheesh, but
so that's that.
But do you have a child leftoutside?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yes, so I have my.
I have a son, okay, yeah, myson.
He lives with his mom, but hecomes over every other weekend
and when he comes over he's, Imean, everybody says their
child's a good child.
But he's a pretty good child.
So when I do leave him alonewith my wife and there is an
issue probably been one or twoissues my wife is very careful.
She treads lightly and she'lljust.
(20:00):
If it comes to it, she'll callme.
You know, right, my sonso-and-so, so-and-so, my son so.
And so all I got to do is geton the phone with him and I'll
be like listen, chill out do youtake?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
so alright, he comes to your home, but do you have
time with you and him?
Because, remember, now you gota family and he's going to feel
like an outsider.
Do you take that necessary stepand I?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
yes, I used to overdo it to the point where it
affected my household.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
I think it's a necessary thing.
Go ahead, and I'll let youfinish.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
So I used to overdo it, because I used to
overcompensate, because he's notaround me all the time, he only
comes on holidays.
So whenever he came over, Iused to give all my attention to
him and I was oblivious to thefact that my wife and my
daughter is looking like youknow.
But it never caused any tensionbetween them.
But after a while my wife andmy daughter came they said you
listen, when he's around, youknow, you just give him all your
(20:58):
attention and I'm like well, Ifeel like.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
He doesn't live there .
Speaker 3 (21:02):
That's you know.
That's what I say.
I said, listen, he's not aroundall the time, so I feel like I
have to overcompensate now.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
The same guy, when I was datinghim, he had a son and he would
like so.
His son used to come from outof state and he's like I don't
want to spend the night Becauseit's just a little too.
He's like, no, you can stay.
I was like no, he's out of,he's from out of state.
I believe that you should, youknow, give him all your
attention.
So one morning I was leaving, Iwas like he was like you coming
(21:31):
back.
I was like, no, I'll see youMonday.
And then the son was like good,right.
Cause he felt it and I said Itold you, you, you know like he
needs your time, he's from outof state, he's here, here and he
doesn't necessarily want to seeme here.
So when he said that, good, andyou know he disciplined them
and I was like I was trying totell you same thing, like with
(21:52):
my son, and I used to tell myson's father, like you need to,
yes, you have a woman, but yes,I don't necessarily want to go
to your woman's house yeah forthe weekend, like that's your
time you get to see her, or week.
I think you should just maketime with your child.
So I don't think it'sovercompensation.
At the end of the day, you livewith the two of them.
I mean, that's just my opinion.
(22:13):
I understand you live with thetwo of them and you're a male,
he's a male.
I don't think there's anythingwrong with that.
I think that time apart is goodand that overcompensating Like
that time apart is good and thatovercompensating, Like I said,
you don't live, you're with themall the time and he's just here
for holidays.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Yeah, and as we found a place in the middle, A happy
medium.
Yes, and as he got older, youknow he needed less and less
attention.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So you know, now he's a teenager, now it's like he's
on the video games.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
He don't even pay me no mind, no more man.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
you'd be lucky if they pick up the phone.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah you know.
So it's all good now, but itwas a little issue coming up and
I had to look at myself.
It depends on how you look atit From their perspective.
I understand where they'recoming from.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Right, no, I understand, I understand, but,
like I said, he doesn't livethere and they do, and then you
have a thing where, like that'snot, your Kids think about a lot
of things.
That's not your biological kidand I am, it's just, it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I have a question for y'all.
What was y'all On the datingscene when y'all was coming up
without kids?
What was you preferring?
If a situation came up and agentleman for you had a kid,
would you talk to him?
If the girl you wanted wasgoing to talk to she had a kid,
what would you do?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I would prefer not to , but I would be selfish because
I've had my kids since I was 16.
So basically, everybody I met,I already had a kid, so I had to
.
Ideally I wouldn't want to bebothered with a kid, because
it's just like I have to dividemy time.
I have to realize that my time,his time, has to be divided,
right.
But if it's a kid and it's youknow, if a kid is involved, then
(24:04):
I'll just have to.
You know I'll accept it.
But I would prefer no kids andno ex-wives either.
Yeah, the first option alwayswas no kids.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
I mean, I don't think anybody really wants to date
anybody with kids.
But you know, it depends on howmuch you like the person that
you're dating.
You know Sometimes you'rewilling to.
I don't tolerate it orwhatsoever, but it's always the
first option to have somebodythat's kidless and it gives you
the hope that you'll be able tostart a family with them, you
(24:34):
understand.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
So at what age did you start dealing with women
that had kids?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Well, you know, by the time we was about 30,
everybody.
If you found a woman thatdidn't have kids, most likely
down to nine out of ten timesmight have been something wrong.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
You know, right and that was my thing, that was my
um I I like up to my 30s orsomething like that.
I wasn't dating women with kids.
Okay, I didn't care.
I was like you know, I rememberthis chick um, I was in a club,
so I'm talking to her and shesaid, yeah, this is the first
(25:12):
time I'm going out in a long,long time.
I said, oh, really.
She said yeah, because I justhad a baby.
I said, matter of fact, I wasin my late 20s, something like
that, early 30s, and she waslike 26, 26 or 25 and I said, oh
, you just had a baby.
I said how long?
She said around six months oh,that's fresh.
(25:35):
I said.
I said, I said why are you out?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
she's closed out.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
She's not healed, yet she's closed out.
So now?
So now I was talking to her.
She's saying that she's sayingshe had a kid and I'm like she's
six months.
I said I said what happened tothe baby father, I'm in the club
telling her that she's like,yeah, nah, we just broke up and
stuff like that.
I told her that I think youshould get back with her.
(25:59):
Any woman that I met then Iused to tell them I think the
best thing is for for you to getback with the father of your
child.
All right, everything isbecause I never wanted to be
looked at as not even a stepdad.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
A homewrecker.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, yeah, like for the child to look at me in any
type of way, like, okay, you'reintruding Always the child and I
stuck with it.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
My rules is I had when I got older and I was
dating women with kids.
I had maybe the two kid, onebaby daddy rule.
Okay, if you had two kids, onebaby daddy was fine, but once
you had multiple kids with morethan one baby daddy never really
going to take you seriously.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
No, you might stick around have a little bit of fun.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
That's a party.
Yeah, party, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
So I didn't have more than one kid because of that.
I didn't want, and I havefriends with more than one baby
daddy and I know that they kindof probably feel the way when I
say it.
But in terms of a woman, whatdo you feel when a woman has
more than one child's father?
Speaker 3 (27:05):
This goes back to my parents.
I'm actually worried.
I can't I mean in the Westinahousehold that I am.
If you come home with a womanand she has multiple kids, first
of all that's pretty bad in myhousehold.
But if you have multiple kidswith multiple baby fathers, they
look at you and it's likeyou're an idiot what's wrong
(27:25):
with you?
Why are you bringing a womanwith multiple?
You could do better.
You're an idiot Like.
What's wrong with you?
Why are you bringing a womanwith multiple?
You could do better?
Speaker 2 (27:31):
You're making our family look bad, right, I mean
as a mother to a son too, if hecame home and had a female that
had multiple baby daddies and hewanted to be third, like whoa?
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Sheesh yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That's rough.
Yeah, yeah, it gets complicatedman.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Oh, multiple um parents get complicated, yeah
what's that show part?
Partridge, you know now he'stalking about it.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Now, brady bunch for real, right yeah pretty much a
little different.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
It's a little different but?
But how do you guys feel when ababy mother will shun the baby
daddy that brings food for hiskid?
That's his kid.
I mean if he doesn't want tobring kids food.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Oh, you're talking about that clip.
It's a lot of those clips, butthat's his kid.
If there's five kids and hejust brings food for one.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
We don't know what this guy's financial layout is.
You know there's nothing wrongwith it.
His kid is hungry and that'shis kid.
He's bringing food for his kid.
You can't shun him for notbringing food for your other
four kids, that you have otherpeople.
I think that's just not fair.
(28:45):
But you do have men that'sgoing to bring for all the kids.
They don't even care.
You know what I mean.
But, like I said, we don't knowwhat this man's financial
availability is.
And he's taking care of his kid.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I feel that's his option.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Yeah, it is his option, the woman can't get mad
because of that.
No, they get mad.
You're not supposed to get mad.
You're not supposed to get mad.
You're not supposed to yeahbecause it's not his
responsibility.
How about you feed your kids?
You know what I mean.
Like it's not on other men tobring.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Why about their fathers?
Feed them?
You know, that's right, but Iwould do it.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
You have a lot of males.
You feed all five.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I don't know about five.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's another two or three in there.
Another two or three, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Well hold on.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Get something that will feed everybody.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Hold on.
But you said you're saying thatlike it's.
You know you don't see noproblem.
So now suppose a gentleman saysokay, I'm going to come bring
you food.
While he's dealing with you, heknows you have a son, but he
just comes and brings food foryou.
It's dinner time.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
He brings food for, and then what you're?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
going to do?
Is you're going to give it toyour son?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I'll share it with my son, but I'm looking in my lens
, I'm trying to.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
How would you look at him If you say we're?
Speaker 2 (29:56):
hungry.
He's insensitive, but thenagain I would have to know what
his financial abilities are,what Maybe he buys a large one
and it's just for me and my kid.
I can't fault him.
In whatever case may be, Ican't say it depends on what I
said, me and my Say we hungry,we are hungry, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And if he Comes with a medium, with a medium, you
know, it isn't, but that's nothis responsibility to feed me
either.
It's not a responsibility.
Okay, when you're dating, whenyou're dating or when you're in
a relationship, you don't havethat responsibility.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
That's not his responsibility.
No, it's not.
But if I say, hey, babes, meand him, we're hungry and he
brings one, then it's like allright, I said we're hungry, it's
a little different.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
It feels like he's not invested into you.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Right, right, he's like man screw this kid yeah
yeah, yeah, you come with foodfor your son and your wife and
your daughter.
Like how would that look?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
It doesn't look good.
It doesn't look good, so likewe probably won't have much more
dates after that.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Right, they get their working papers.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
At least they show you ahead of time.
Of course it shows me yourcharacter.
Yeah, it shows me yourcharacter.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's.
You know, like some women,their demands is outrageous.
So then, that's why I'm suchEspecially now.
Yeah, they want you to pay forthem.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
And me and Ma had this discussion a lot.
I'm not used to.
The only time I'm going to payfor a date Is if it's his
birthday or Father's Day.
I don't see a need.
I'm not used to.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
Paying for dinners.
I can't say I've ever had.
Yeah, I have had a woman payfor dinner.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
But it was your birthday or Father's Day.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Yeah, but routinely.
I mean, I pay for dinner, but Idon't think that should be in
stone, you understand.
If she wants to pay for dinnersometime, I won't say it.
Well, just to be a man.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I'm like no, all right okay if you insist, if she
wants to, there's nothing wrongwith it, but I'm not accustomed
to going to dinner with a maleand paying what about going?
Dutch no, she's not going fornothing.
I'm not going.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Dutch, she ain't going for nothing.
What if it's a first date?
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Oh, definitely I'm not.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
He should be trying to impress you, right?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, he's not even impressed.
Like I'm not used to paying fordates, I'm not.
I understand.
That's just not how I, and thenI don't meet those type of men.
I don't, I generally don't, youprobably meet them.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
You're just not attracted to them.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I've never had a, I've never had a situation where
it's like are you going tohandle this?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I've never had that hey.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
So you go on a date.
First of all, you meet a woman.
You introduce yourself to her.
She doesn't come to you.
I mean if I was the one to sayhey, If you was to pursue it If
I was to pursue it maybe I would, but I don't pursue because of
that, because then I'm going tohave to ask you to go on a date
(33:08):
and then I ask so then I guess Iprobably feel obligated, but I
don't want to feel thatobligation at all.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
So then, what is the like?
Okay, this is mandatory for themen that are supposed to do
these things, right, but what ismandatory for the women to do?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I didn't.
It's a date.
I mean, it's not a date, date,but I'm just saying it was
mandatory.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I said it's in the rule book things to do dating,
or what is it?
What is the rule for a woman?
I sent both of y'all a video.
Right, I sent both of y'all avideo on instagram.
I'm too sure, sorry about umthis, this young lady she has a
podcast she was talking to Idon't know if this lady she's
she's a specialist.
I don't believe what.
I didn't believe what she wassaying.
(33:46):
The question, the question wasis it mandatory for a woman to
have sex with a man whilethey're dating?
Is it mandatory?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Not if she has like a , not if if she celebrates.
No, it's not mandatory, it'snot mandatory, it's not Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
If we're dating, yeah , I'm going to expect Expect sex
Eventually.
It depends on.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Eventually how long we're dating.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
You understand, I might not expect it On the first
or the second date, but ifwe're pursuing something.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Oh Mott wants it.
On the first date?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
No, no, no.
Dating, dating.
What if she's on a?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
sexual sabbatical and you really like this chick.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
I don't think she should be dating.
Then, if she's on a sexualsabbatical, oh no, because it.
Yes, y'all need to have aconversation before you do that,
right, right.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
You really like him, Like you know what she said
she's not having sex.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
I don't believe it, that lady, I don't believe the
lady, what she was saying.
She said it's not mandatory.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Sounds good, because she said it's not mandatory.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
She said it's not mandatory, but she didn't say
this is what she practices,though she's saying it's not
mandatory.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Because she's having a conversation.
We don't have to put ourbusiness out there when we have
a conversation.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
So then, how true could it be doing it?
It's like you're a doctorprescribing drugs.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
you won't take so back to this dating thing.
So you go on a date, you askher to go on a date, you pay.
Do you expect something after?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Depends on how much I spend Selling.
Omg, if you're going to orderthe lobster and the shrimp
special, I'm going to expectsomething, so you're creating
sex with the food.
Of course, I think most menthink like that.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yes, yeah, what's that steak called again?
Oh, tomahawk steak, tomahawksteak yeah, so you're going
straight home.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So, if you so, how do you, how do you, how do?
Speaker 3 (35:38):
you, I might not want it that night.
How do you?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
You got to tap to Within that week.
Within that week.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Lord help us.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Uh-huh, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
So I mean, and then you don't Like.
You see, it's not happening.
You really like her.
You're like nah, it's a wasteof my time.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Yeah, I'll step off.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Okay, yeah, I know you step off, so ASAP.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
ASAP.
I mean, what would move you tobe like all right, I'm really
into this guy.
Say he take you to get someTomahawks and then he's taking
you to LV and then go to Guccifor some slides, it's more
conversation intellect no okay,say, that's like eight hours
(36:20):
right there, then what?
Then he says, come back to thecrib.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I can't get that back once I give it, so I have to be
very careful who I give it to.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
No, Okay, Okay.
So that's that.
So you're accepting these stuff.
You're accepting the tomahawk,the Louie, the Gucci and he says
come to the crib.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Because you know these things come with something
.
It's basically a nonverbalagreement.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
once you accept these things, Nah, it's basically a
non-verbal agreement.
Once you accept these thingsrealistically.
That's how it is in a man's mindokay, okay yes, you know, so I
mean this ain't this, ain't me,and then I'll give him his stuff
back.
If he's like, listen, I didn'tdo this, just just for you to
just tell me thank you, I'llkind of give you your stuff back
you've already given some of it, not all of it, because you did
(37:06):
you did I like it'squantitative here.
Like you did, you did um I didinvest time too.
I have to get dressed, I haveto get my hair done and all that
stuff.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So he's gonna say listen, give me that tomahawk
steak too, have you go um.
You know, go throw that up.
You know what I mean, you knowbut it's um.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
So I mean, if he, he, if he like listen, like I'm not
doing this just for thank yousand likes, and whatever the case
may be, like alright, and Ifeel like I don't, maybe I don't
want to have sex with this guy.
Then that's it, I'll have toend it, and he'll want to end it
too, because he just expressedto me like listen, I want some.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Some guys won't add it.
They'll keep pursuing itbecause they feel like you owe
me.
You owe me now, not even.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Because now you're a chase, yeah, but now I know I'm
a chase and I know once you getit, you're gone.
So you're definitely notgetting it.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
That's a greasy game out here.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It is a greasy game.
You guys like a good chase, butI don't want to play the
chasing game.
I don't have a chasing game inme.
This is not what I want to do.
I already know.
I probably don't know from thefirst date if you're going to
get it or not, and I'll stillaccept the stuff.
I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
I'm actually more attracted to women that will
give me a little hold out.
I take it more seriously, asopposed to somebody that will
ride on the first date.
I won't take it seriously, youwon't respect her.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yes, I won't respect her, not me, not me.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
You respect her.
After the first Like, it's thefirst night.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
No, it just tells me who you are when you give it up
right away.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
What.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Is that a positive thing or a negative thing?
No, let's just it's a positive.
Really, I don't see it likethat.
Let's unpack that.
What is it telling you?
It's telling me that she knowswhat she wants.
She knows what she wants andthis is what it is Today,
tomorrow, next week.
This is what it is.
Let's get this out the way andthen we're going to see who we
really are.
All right, is Mark going tostay?
(38:59):
Okay, I mean, I have to respect.
Is Mark going to stay?
I have to respect your.
That's what worked for me.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
And at your age not that you're looking because you
are engaged.
I guess at your age you don'thave time to waste, because we
really don't have time to waste.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
I'll tell you the truth Honestly.
That's the relationships thatI've had.
Long-term relationships isusually when I sleep with them
on the first night.
Now, if any woman gives me pastlike a week or so, listen.
I don't got time Like no, Imean well, certain circumstances
, things happen, but no, we justgoing to chill, we're not, you
know.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Let me chirp in on that.
I feel the opposite.
I feel if you give it to me onthe first night, you have no
self-control, and when I'm notaround you and you're around
somebody that you're attractedto, you'll give it up the same
way.
By you holding out, that showsthat you're you could control
your emotions, you could betrustworthy.
You know it's all positive tome if you made me, made a week,
(39:59):
two weeks, that's even better.
But for me, giving you rightaway, that just gives me a whole
.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
It's kind of it's how she gives me it gives me the
whole vibes.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
It gives me the whole vibes.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
It's kind of whole vibes, but it's according to how
you got it.
I mean what works?
Speaker 3 (40:11):
for you.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
It's according to what you said, to get it In the
car Anyway.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
So you're looking at her like.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Say you meet her in a club or something, it's
according to what you say andhow you got it, even if it's
like in a car.
Oh, you mean sex in the car.
What do you mean?
We're fighting.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
She can't even wait to get home.
No, no, no, and she's bringingyou home like the first day,
like I don't even know you Like.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
sometimes you're on the first day with some males.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
You don't even know their last name.
So how am I giving it to you?
I don't even know your lastname.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Now listen, Listen.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Nothing's.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
And then you break up Things happen, let's get this
stuff out the way you ever had aone night stand, of course.
How do you look at this femaleafter it's a one night stand,
drunk or not drunk?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
It's just, I don't take it seriously.
It was fun, we had a little funand that's pretty much it.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
But as far as one night stands it could be good
and it could be bad.
How many summer swim nightstands you had?
Speaker 2 (41:13):
None, and it's not on my bucket list.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
You never had, not one.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
No Two day stand no no no no it ain't no one night
stand over here.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
And it's not on my bucket list either.
It's not a bucket list.
Things happen.
You was never really a hardbody drinker like that anyway.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Yeah, alcohol plays a major part in it.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I mean, I get a little loose.
I probably feel a littlefrontacious, you're a one drink
specialist.
You catch them girls, with themfour drinks.
It's over.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Especially if they're drinking at a Henny.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
And sloppy drunk females.
I look at them in the club likeugh.
And sloppy drunk females, don't?
I look at them in the club likeugh.
I don't get sloppy drunk stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
What about, like, if you say you ready for that time
and say you ready, and then thatperson wants to have sex
without a condom on?
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Would you look at them?
How would you look at them?
No, self-control, I mean yeah,and then with that, that's a
whole nother.
When you start taking condomsoff, you're really invested in
each other at that point, as afemale, I'm gonna go out there.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
I don't think any guy ever turned on sex because he
didn't have a condom.
Most guys don't, right youunderstand.
Once turned on sex because hedidn't have a condom Most guys
don't Right.
You understand Once you're inthe heat of the passion of the
moment, with all that's going onnow.
You're not thinking straight atthe moment.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
anyway, You're horny, you're drunk.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
You just want to.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
You know that goes out the window.
You take chances.
Men take a lot of chances.
Yeah, I take a lot of chances.
Everybody took them.
All men took numerous chances.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Yeah, they say throw your um, throw your um throw
your private um crap table.
So it's like it's um, but thenum, I think it's more.
It's more of a crime for awoman to want to accept that
accept that it's a crime.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
What if a female says hey, I'm going to go get tested
and I want to see your resultsand I want you to bring me mines
.
Would you do that?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
What do you mean After she's pregnant?
Speaker 2 (43:21):
No, just before she give it to you.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
That's much before.
We have to be vested in order.
I mean, what if she?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
wants to do that.
You don't think that's aresponsible thing?
Speaker 3 (43:29):
It's responsible, but it's a little extreme.
Oh okay, I'm just asking.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
It's extreme.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
It's like who do you think?
Speaker 3 (43:36):
you are.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
She wants to know, she wants to show you hey, I'm
clean, I want to make sureyou're clean too.
I'm just saying, well, I'm justdoing it out there.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
I guess it depends on who it is.
The woman you know, sheprobably finished living her
life in a brothel.
Now she's trying to be.
All you know.
Mrs Queen, oh Lord, she overthere by Pennsylvania Avenue.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
So the Knicks is in the playoffs.
Yeah, you a Knicks fan.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I know you are.
I'm a bootleg Knicks fan.
You know, when they win it, I'mwith them.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Actually, I'm only into basketball around this time
.
So right now, what are we doing?
Where is?
So right now, what are we doing?
Is it the last of?
So who was Knicks playing lastnight?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
The Philadelphia 76ers.
It was game one of a seven-gameseries the Knicks won in New
York last night.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
So, east and West, they're down to the wire now.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
No, oh, not yet.
No, but they're in the firstcomponent.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Okay, so who else is playing on the East side?
I don't care about the Eastside.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
The Celtics played in Miami Heat today the Celtics
won.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
So those two teams are competing, and then the
other two teams are.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
There's more than there's actually eight on each
side.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Right now Eight teams in the east and eight in the
west.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
And eight turns into four and four turns into two and
two eventually turns into.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
Oh my God, that's going to be crazy if we win,
since what?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
1973?
Mine should know better than me.
I'm not really a Nick fan likethat, I'm a convert now it's a
while.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
It's a while it's in the 70s, definitely not in the
80s.
Did you buy any?
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Nick wear.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
I'm not a Nick fan.
To that extent I'm just nowgetting I'm a little bit of a
convert.
I used to be a Nick Hader Meand Mont discussed this because
I was a Michael Jordan Bulls fanand those guys were arch
enemies.
So I held that hate for manyyears.
But as I got older I let it goand now I'm looking at the
Knicks.
They got a pretty good team.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Jalen yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
They have the ability to go far in the playoffs.
I don't think they're going tobe able to win it the whole
thing right now, but they have abright future ahead of them.
Okay All right.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
They're going to need more than Jalen to really
really bring it home.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
I saw last week you had a Knicks jacket on.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
I got calls saying why are you doing that?
I never heard you talk aboutKnicks all these years, Mike.
Why are you doing that now?
I said yo, listen.
I cheered in silence, brothers.
I don't have to be out loudlike y'all.
Y'all are the ones who bejinxing him.
Go Nick's out when the next.
No, I'm quiet.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
And you experienced a lot of pain throughout the
years.
There's a lot of trauma thatgoes along with being a Nick's
fan.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yes, yes, yes.
A lot of ups and downs, A lotof more downs, no ditty.
So which Nick greats did wehave?
We had John Starks.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
He was not no great.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
I wouldn't say great.
He was pretty good.
A great would be more likePatrick Ewing.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Yeah, patrick Ewing, patrick Ewing.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Patrick Ewing.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
What's his name?
What's the homeboy who came outthe tunnel?
Hurt yeah, hurt yeah.
They won Carmelo, walt Frazier,walt Frazier's won, but Bernard
.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
King.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Bernard King.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Who else we had.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
And Walt Clair Frazier, of course.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Was Carmelo playing for us a little bit.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
Yeah, a few years ago .
That has to be like more than10 years ago.
Yeah, carmelo was over there,he brought some excitement to
New York and they made it to theplayoffs but they didn't.
They run out of, if I canrecall the run.
They didn't really go too farin the playoffs right, okay, but
we had some brutes though.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
We had Oakley, we had Mason yeah, it was tough.
Rip Mason, you see, but now.
But now our brute is like thatOG guy, but he's not really a
brood, that African dude.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
I know that came from Toronto.
Yeah, he's a brood.
Og Beninobi, he's a brood, butwe need for the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
We need more broods.
Okay, Bronson is a brood also,yeah, but you know we're going
to need some more to really getit done.
Okay For.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Shizzle.
On the west side we have Wellmy only concern on the west side
you know me and my guy is thatLeBron gets in.
The Lakers get eliminated.
That's the only thing I'mworried about on the west side.
But right now the favorite onthe west side is LeBron is
playing Denver Nuggets.
Okay With the Joker.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Are the Warriors still in?
Speaker 3 (47:47):
No, they got eliminated in the play-in game
over the weekend.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Okay, I bought a.
I did buy a pair of BoJackson's Nice, the original
with the orange and the blue.
So that's my contribution tothis whole Knicks thing, or
whatever, but Bo Jackson didn'the play.
He was a phenomenon, yeah, butit had the colors, though, so I
(48:16):
caught him.
I said, all right, I'll wearthat at work till, they win.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
I actually went to a game.
My fiance bought me sometickets for Christmas present.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I forgot who they played, but they won.
And I was telling my homeboysOkay, I saw it, I saw the.
I forgot who they played, butthey won, you know.
And I was telling my homeboyswho love the Knicks I'm saying,
see, when I go to the game wewin.
You know, that's a couplemonths ago.
That's when they really startheating up stuff like that.
But let's go Knicks.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Speaking of basketball, I have a new love
for the sport, and it's thefemale college basketball has
been catching my eye within thelast few years.
The Reese and Kaitlyn.
I didn't really, yeah, kaitlynClark, you know.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Flo J, flo J, what's the name of the one that shut
Kaitlyn down the other day.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
I forgot her name.
The one that took her personalHer.
I forgot her name.
I want to take it personal Her.
I forgot her name, yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
So I saw the whole story with Caitlyn waving her
off and she was like it'spersonal.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
And then, with that whole, the revenge tour is over.
Yes, it was a year, it took ayear.
She said that.
You know, it made her feel bad.
It made us question god, yeah,she didn't want to go on.
(49:42):
She really, really hurt hernationally.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Hurt her nationally, hurt her, yeah, um, caitlin
embarrassed her, then sheembarrassed caitlin but robin of
taking her cookies, oh yeahyeah, but I don't like how this
caitlin clark thing is playingout, like we're giving caitlin
all the glory and that's truesouthern south carolina south
carolina right university ofsouth carolina usc1 right and
this whole and I hate when race,you know it's always, it's
(50:05):
always race.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
I'm gonna say hate, it's always, race, right.
So apparently Caitlyn's teamgot invited to SNL Last year,
lsu.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
Yeah, LSU with Reese.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
As you beat.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Iowa, Iowa yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
And Jill Biden was like oh, we want both of them to
come to the White House.
Why, it's always the winnersRight.
And then some reporter calledReese and I'm Dirty Debutantes,
yes like you know, and then youask like well, we always have a
chip on our shoulders becausethis is this and we only.
We go through this at work.
(50:45):
We go through this like all thetime, like there's no reason
why we're praising Caitlyn andI'm not giving these girls their
roses, and it really, reallyupsets me.
Speaker 1 (50:57):
And you know what else, you know what else is
going on.
She's getting, I think Ibelieve, a Nike deal, a Nike
deal, a big, huge deal.
Right, let me tell you thething about it is all right,
she's the number one pick.
I think she's getting like agood $7, $8 million Nike deal.
She's getting like a good seven, eight million dollar Nike deal
.
But then they got people who'sin the WNBA.
There's this black girl.
(51:18):
She's won, I think, twoOlympics, like two championships
, nothing, four MVPs, noendorsements.
No, no, no, no Nikeendorsements.
And she's like yo, how come shecould come in and get it?
She can't.
She would come in and get thistype of big deal and look, I've
been here, I've been here.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Because they feel sorry for her.
They really feel sorry for her.
Because they feel sorry for who, Caitlyn?
They feel sorry for her because, like you don't need and you
didn't, You're number one.
You never won a championship.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
No, that's not being.
I don't think they're doing itbecause they feel sorry for her.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
No, no, they feel sorry for her.
Plus she's white yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Right you know.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
And then look, prada set her up Apparently.
That outfit was $42,500.
Like you couldn't give.
I don't think anybody else,none of them, you know, got, you
know, is like hey, let me dressyou, or whatever the case may
be, it's just this wholesituation got whitewashed.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
I mean y'all going to kill me for this.
But I kind of understand whyNike's offering that money,
cause she bought a lot moreviewership.
She bought a lot of money intocollege basketball.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Okay, I mean it's business.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Yeah, from the business aspect.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I don't like the fact .
Like I said, with.
Jill Biden.
Oh, let's invite the losers aswell.
Why?
Because they lost.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying
and then SNL like how you don'tinvite the winners.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
You invite the losers yeah.
Speaker 3 (52:44):
That's racism right in your face.
Definitely Not fair.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
I think it's more about integrity.
It's like, you know, you, youokay, it's about business, but
what about the why the game isnot growing to begin with?
Because you're not celebratingthe one who's actually doing it
she, she's actually there andyou're not.
You know who's actually dumbthe girl that's MVP, the lady
that's MVP on the?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
older, the older the expert.
Yeah, so, dawn Staley, what areyou talking about now?
Speaker 1 (53:10):
I forgot her name, the one who's in the WNBA.
I'm sorry, I forgot her name.
Okay, she had all thoseaccolades and not a sneaker deal
and not a major deal like that.
Okay, so it's like I get it.
It's about what you're bringing.
You know, viewership,viewership, but it's all right,
when she gets to the league,it's going to be different.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
Oh yeah, there's going to be rookies all over
Like they're going to.
She's going to, she's going tolearn today, right, I mean now,
she's nice they wait for her.
Them girls are waiting for her.
She's nice.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
And it is, but she's going to.
She's causing a lot more littlewhite girls wanting to play
basketball.
Now she, she's nice, she's agreat way to hope.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
All right.
So yes, this is episode 81.
Your Opinion Doesn't Matter,podcast man, and usually we do.
You know some closing words.
You know my closing words is Isaid it before, I'll say it
again you say and if you knewbetter, you'd do better, right,
(54:18):
better right and um takeadvantage of um, take advantage
of time.
Certain things you can't getback, make every second count,
every minute count, every hour,day, weekend, month count,
because when you look back, youcan only remember the year, you
can't remember the day, youcan't remember the time, because
I'm I'm looking back at mydaughter's pictures when she was
two and I was so happy.
Now she's five you know whatI'm saying and I can't remember
(54:39):
what month those pictures wastaken in you know beside, hey,
it's going to be summertime, butyou know you got to cherish the
moment.
You know what I'm saying.
That goes into if you knewbetter, you do better.
So now we know that time is,like you know we, limited, not
really limited, I don't want tosay that.
But you know, we gotta, wegotta make, make every second
count.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
And as, as we about to leave, I got some words also.
I believe that our health iswealth and, as a black man,
middle-aged black man, all theblack men out there should
invest into going to the doctor,eating healthy, exercising, and
we got to get our yearlycheckups just to go there, just
(55:24):
to check up, make sureeverything is OK, because a lot
of these diseases now they couldbe detected early just by
taking blood.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
So don't be afraid of the doctor.
Uh, what I have to say?
Getting back to what?
Um, the whole bonus parent.
Uh, my ending thought is onthis bonus parent.
I believe that when you're aabsentee, which is a parent
outside the home, and you gospend time with your child, you
(55:57):
should commit to time with thetwo of you alone, or the three
of you alone, because that timeis needed, whether it's just go
to the library, get some icecream.
Just make a commitment to dosomething with that child where
there's no outside influences oroutside people.
(56:17):
Just make it a nice bondingtime because it carries.
It goes a long way.
So, yes, this is the yourOpinion Doesn't Matter.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Podcast episode 81.
81.
It's been a pleasure y'all itwas a pleasure too it was a
pleasure too.
All right, peace, y'all Peace.
Welcome.
Welcome to the your OpinionDoesn't Matter podcast.
I am one of the hosts, mrLamont, and I'm here with one of
my original hosts and we have anew member to the squad.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hopefully he stays, hopefully hopefully, yeah, yeah,
yeah, big up.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
This is Big Sterling, aka Sterling Glad to be part of
the team.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
And we have none other.
The great.
You know, she's a magician,she's in and out, but when she
says she's very impactful, likea robbery, yes, yes, shirley,
how are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm well, I'm well.
How are you guys doing?
Hey doing.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hey man, everything is okay, kind of sort of.
I had a little situationyesterday, uh-oh, yeah, I was
walking with my daughter and I'mgoing to get something to eat.
So I'm walking with my daughter, my daughter's on the inside
I'm walking and I see this lady.
She's outside of a vehicle andwhen I'm walking I try not to
(01:06):
like stare women in their face.
Okay, because I don't want.
No, you know, I don't want nomixed signals.
I want them to feel a way like,okay, this guy, he wants me
Creep signals.
Yeah, creep signals, right.
So then I'm like this, I'm likeand I'm with my daughter
Especially, I don't look womenin the eyes when I'm with my
daughter.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So now I'm walking, I see her right, she's like right
over here.
Now I'm getting closer, now I'mlooking down, right, right, so
we don't even need to go there.
Right, right, right, yo, assoon as I get close, as soon as
I get close, she's right herenow.
She says hello.
I look at her, I say hello.
(01:48):
A little aggressive.
Yeah, like she was saying it ina way like you know, you're
supposed to, You're supposed tono, no, no, here's the kicker
now.
Now, as I'm passing her, shesays hello.
And I say hello, I'm passingher here.
I go back to look down at mydaughter.
She goes, she says pick up yourhead and say good morning.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Your daughter said that no the lady.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
The lady said that so what did you say?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I looked at my daughter Me and her was walking.
I looked at her.
I said who's she talking to?
You're including her.
My daughter said she's talkingto you, dad.
I said no, she's not.
I said she's talking to you.
She said no, she must betalking to herself, right?
I'm like?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
but why you were going into the same spot.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
No, she was just on the side block.
I parked on the side block, butI'm like, why, why, why.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Who does she think she is?
It could be two things.
It could be she wanted yourattention, or it could just be.
I feel like our generation wasthe last generation to
acknowledge people Just casually.
You know what I mean.
And there's nothing wrong withthat when I step into a.
Like I say, I went to abreakfast the other morning and
(03:04):
it was a crowd of older peoplewhen I walked through and I was
like good morning.
And they got kind of shockedand they said good morning.
And then the older lady waslike no one says good morning
anymore.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I feel you, but you don't say that in front of my
daughter.
You don't do that.
You don't do that.
What do you think sir?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I kind of feel the same way.
What do you think, sal?
I kind of feel the same way.
How things are now, like Masaid, you kind of men are scared
to say hello and make eyecontact with women, like in the
gym.
When I'm in the gym working out, if there's a woman right in
front of me I make sure I don'tlook, because they're quick to
call you a creep and say youhave creepy intentions.
So therefore I just try toavoid the attention altogether.
(03:42):
But in that sense it's reallybad.
I mean, society is goingdownhill where a man can and a
woman can't cross each other andsay hello to each other without
being judged in a negativemanner, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, can't win.
Can't win for saying hello.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
So how did it end?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I didn't say nothing to her.
Were you both going intoSybil's?
No, I was around the cornerfrom Sybil's.
I was around the corner fromthere.
So you weren't going in thesame place.
Nope, she was standing by hercar and it was just weird to me
and that was it.
She didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything to her,but she says pick your head up.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Pick your head up and you know it's backtrack.
Pick your head up, it's likeand she said it's morning.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
She didn't say good morning, it was 1230 in the
afternoon.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
She lost track of time and this ho is telling me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I could have really got her man for talking like
that, but your daughter wasthere, I was just humble and
righteous man.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I think it was coming from a good place from her.
She just wanted that commoncourtesy and respect from her.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
It could be, but just the way to say it, you don't
say you already had an attitudeto say hello, or like you're
strong on me to say hello back,and then now you say, pick your
head up and say good morning,which brings with the
aggressiveness which brings meto ask do you think that black
(05:04):
women lack etiquette?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
hell yeah especially now.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I only said that because I want to put all my
grandkids in etiquette school.
There's some things I justdidn't learn from my parents and
I think that, no, I just thinkthat they didn't know, you know,
they didn't just how to eat,how to place a fork, how, when
you eat, you don't go down tohow to sit.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I feel that when you eat, no elbows on the table.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
No elbows on the table.
I feel like some of us lacketiquette.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Well, let me ask you a question.
This format of etiquette andadvocacy, who laid that down?
What do you mean Meaning thatfrom our West Indian side do we
hear that type of talk?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
It was passed down.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It was passed down, but I'm talking Big spoon for
this, this, that and the, butI'm talking about Jack and.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Jill type of etiquette.
You guys know what Jack andJill is.
That's that society.
I don't know too much about it,but it's kind of like
debutante-ish, I think.
You have to be invited in andthese kids are-.
Oh man, it's like the what'sthat Illuminati?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
It's not Illuminati.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's not Illuminati.
It's not Illuminati, it's justyou have to be invited in.
I don't know.
If you have to have a certainamount of money, then they have
like dances and Class thing, Ithink I don't know too much
about it, but I've been hearingabout it.
I think they have like.
I think they have like.
I think the Black Chapter is inPark Slope.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I'm not too sure Mason type of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, but I'm sure etiquette has been passed down
from Not Mason, but go ahead.
I'm sure etiquette has beenpassed down from the oppressors,
the slave masters, and it'sbeen passed down and I feel like
the slaves that work insideseeing that type of etiquette
and then they pass it on totheir kids and then it trickled
down to the island kids.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
And then it trickled down to to the island.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Oh okay, I was just wondering who, who, um you know
who said?
Who set that off the etiquette?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I think etiquette is what is big in my family?
I'm sorry, oh, it is big okay,so who?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
who in your family?
Who was?
Who was the responsible party?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
yeah, well, yeah, how my situation go.
My father came from a wealthyfamily, okay, and my mother was
the opposite, so he grew up witha lot of etiquette and he was
the one that tried to pass itdown to his kids.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
And I think it's environment too.
Yeah, Environment, Because mycousins from Long Island and me,
we speak different.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You know, like I don't want to say just their
speech and the way theyarticulate, and it comes from
where they grew up, where theywent to school.
It's all intertwined.
So I really want to put all mygrand, both males.
I have four, so I believe themale, the boy grandchildren
(08:06):
would benefit, just like thefemale grandchildren, the girl
grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, but what are they going to really learn, Like
, how are you going to applythat to life?
How I mean, like as far assilverware and all that stuff?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It's not even silverware.
It's the way you eat, the wayyou speak, the way you carry
yourself, the way you carryyourself.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
So it's everything way you eat, the way you speak,
the way you carry yourself.
So it's everything.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It's everything, okay , not just a fork and not eating
like this that's supposed tobring it to your mouth.
You know like it goes a longway.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, our kids need it.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Of course we do it's true, we're going to get into a
discussion about beingstep-parents and the
difficulties that come with it.
And you know, in a perfectworld you know a guy meets a
girl, you know they get married,they have kids and then they
live happily ever after.
But in a real world thatdoesn't happen and you know
(09:00):
relationships get broken up andkids are products of these
relationships and they get leftbehind.
So after that the mother or thefather of the child meets
somebody else and the person hasto be real careful about how
they try to discipline thischild, discipline this child.
(09:23):
And I think in a situation likethat, before you even try to
discipline this child, you haveto get the okay from the
custodial parent.
You know Agreed, like if I meetyou when you already have a
daughter I mean you get seriousand I want to discipline your
(09:45):
daughter you have to come andsay to me oh listen, sterling, I
give you the okay.
She needs that discipline.
I don't think I could take itupon myself and start to
verbally be verbally aggressiveor physically aggressive with
that child unless I get thatokay from you.
And if the father's in the life, I think it's a good idea to
get the okay from him too.
You understand If he comesaround sometime, picks the kid
(10:08):
up.
You know you just don't want tobe screaming on somebody else's
child because that's asensitive issue and people get
really mad and that could turnreally physical.
What are your views on that?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
It's broad with me, like at one point, does she
bring you in?
Wait, I'm going to let youspeak.
I believe that the dad and youshould have a nice understanding
, right, I think that she should.
Even before that, I want afederal background check.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I want to make sure.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Not for money.
I just want to make sure youdon't have no situations where
Childcare, childcare, pedophilia, of course.
People just don't go thereanymore and you should, and at
the point that you might have tobabysit said daughter and son.
(11:02):
If dad is living, he needs to.
You need you and him need tohave a conversation he needs he
needs to be like hey, let's.
He might like say listen, Idon't want you disciplining her.
What if he says I don't wantyou to discipline her?
Here's my number.
I need you to contact me.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I'm fine with that.
How do you feel about that one?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
you know, um, sometimes, sometimes it's like
it like in the moment, I getwhat y'all are saying, like
ahead of time you have thatconversation, but there's times
when it's like yo, on the spot,you got to react and like I'm a
stepfather, soon to be married,so I'll be the stepfather.
But sometimes I struggle withoh, it's a struggle.
(11:44):
I struggle with discipliningthe kid and it's a boy too, and
the father's not in his life.
God rest his dead.
He passed away.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Oh, that's a different scenario.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And the kid is 17.
So it's like, you know, whenyou and he's caught up, you know
doing different things, or youknow I, sometimes I'll be
feeling powerless.
You know, Okay, I'll be feelingpowerless and it's good to have
that conversation.
Even when you have thatconversation like I have it with
(12:14):
my fiance, it doesn't.
It can wind up backfiring.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Saying oh, now you're in a relationship with him or
you know you don't spend enoughtime with him, and all of this
other stuff.
But that's a mom beingprotective over her son and it's
a slippery slope.
It's really, really slipperyslope being a step-parent.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I've had this conversation with my mom for
several times.
You know I was a single mom.
If I can do it all over again,I wouldn't date till my son left
the house, because when thesechildren have, when their
parents are split, they alreadyhave.
They don't even have theirfathers full under by detention.
(12:57):
He's not in the home.
Their mom gets, uh, gets a, apartner, especially with males,
females too, but I know from amale point of view Now you're,
and then like at that age you'relike, really you're, it's a,
it's.
You know you have to give yourman attention.
(13:17):
He feels like you're not givinghim that much attention.
And then it's like I wouldn't.
If I can do it all over again,attention wise, I feel like I
should have.
Just I should.
I should have put all my energyinto my son and I'm not going
to say and I have a little flexwhere he go away for the weekend
and I do my thing, but Iprobably wouldn't.
(13:39):
If I could do it over again, Iwouldn't bring a male around my
son until he was out of thehouse.
I wish I would have made thatcommitment.
I wish somebody would havetalked to me and be like hey,
you need to.
You, know his father's in andout, and this boy needs your you
know your undivided attentionas a mom.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
What if the male friend you're dealing with you
feel like this is the one andyou could possibly have a future
with him?
In order to ensure that future,I feel like he has to really be
around you and the child to geta little idea of how the
dynamic is.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You know, I think I still would have like.
With what?
Everything that transpired inmy life, I think I would have
been.
I would have stuck to thatdecision.
No, no males till till.
My son is out of the house.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Understandable, understandable.
I've been through it and I havea success story.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
So you're saying stepfather,like if it's a stepfather.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I feel like it's a bonus dad.
No, no, no.
Now she's my child, she's mydaughter, you know.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Oh, you adopted her.
Well, we're a family now, okay.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Okay, yeah.
So when I first met my wife, wewas feeling each other out.
I met the child.
Okay, the child was a little.
I mean, it's my daughter, Icould talk about it.
She was a little rude.
At the moment she was fiveyears old.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Okay, man, five and rude, maybe she was a little
angry.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
She was like you know who's this guy your mom is
bringing around.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
They wanted attention Like who are you?
You're not dad, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
And I felt the same way.
I was a little apprehensivewith her because I'm like I'm
not your dad, you know Right,and I'm not going to.
The dad is still.
He's still around.
He lives in another country,but they communicate.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
But as we got closer, me and my wife got I worked for
the board of education.
My wife had to work, I was off,Daughter was off.
She's like could you watch her?
I'm like, oh man, I reallydon't want to.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
You know what I'm saying, but I had to do it, you
know to support the household,you know.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
So I did it.
There was.
She was a little rude.
She was staying in the office.
One time the doorbell rang andshe ran to the door and I'm like
, get your ass back in the room,you know.
So while I open the door, shecomes there and I'm like, didn't
I tell you I had to get in theroom?
And she looks me up and down infront of the guests and they
(15:56):
look at me like, you know,embarrassing you have no control
of your child, you know soright after.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I took it.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
What you going to do she gave me that up and down.
Then, after she left, I calledher mother and I said listen, I
can't do this anymore.
She's like what do you mean?
I told her what happened andwhen she got home she said
listen, we need to talk.
She's like I'm going to giveyou the okay.
She's like if she ever doesanything like that, you will
handle it.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
She didn't tell me to beat her or anything she just
told me I give you the okay todiscipline her.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
And I'm like I was like oh word, and she was like
yeah, and from that day on meand that child became closer, I
took her into my wing, Idisciplined her.
I explained why I disciplinedher, because with children now
you got to kind of give anexplanation.
I think it's easier todiscipline them the younger they
are.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Like five.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
It's easier than to post a teenager that's not going
to want to hear what you'resaying.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
You understand what I'm saying Because you met your
bonus son, a teenager.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, listen, if you you're like damn it, if you do
damn it, if you do damn it, ifyou don't, now, once you don't,
that person, that child, feellike they have power.
They could actually manipulateyeah, and they could.
Just it could be, it could berough.
It could be rough.
More things is coming at you,more things is coming at you.
(17:18):
There was, there was man it'snot easy, it's, but that's why
you?
Speaker 3 (17:24):
need the support of the mother.
You and the mother got to be onthe same page At first.
She's going to feel betrayed,the child's going to feel
betrayed and she's going to feellike she's betraying the child.
But it's for the better.
It's for the better of thechild.
How old is she now?
Oh, now she's 20.
Oh, wow, we're best friendswhen we walk.
She holds my hand.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Nice that's a lot of years 15.
Yeah, I've been with her a lotof years.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
She's the best.
Okay, have you ever had anybodydiscipline your son?
Did that ever happen to you?
Like say on?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
the spot.
No, no, but I dated somebodyand he did not like the person
and I was like, oh, he's tryingto sabotage me, he don't want me
to, you know.
But he didn't like thisparticular male for a legit
reason.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Right.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
And you know, caused a riff or whatever the case may
be, but um, he had to, he had tovibe, yeah.
But I never had um.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yelling.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
What about yelling Like they didn't get along?
It was like oh my God you know.
It was like oh my God you know.
So yeah, but not.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
What do you do in a situation like that, when the
stepchild just doesn't like theperson that you're dating?
I mean, could the child havesome kind of intuition and see
something that you don't see?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, he did, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
You got to listen to him, you got to listen to him.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
He did, he did and you got to listen to your kid.
You got to listen to your kid.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
It was at the time I was like like late 20s, you know
you, you damn near at that age.
If you're not married, you'reauditioning to be a wife, and I
thought this was the one, butclearly he wasn't.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, sometimes they have that intuition, just like
women have that intuition whenyou bring a new female into the
house you know, most of the timewhen you bring them home and
your mom and your sister be likeI don't like her.
Oh yeah, something wrong andthe other way around too.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Like when your girl cousin brings a guy around me,
as men we'd be like nah,something wrong with you, you
know what I'm saying.
And later, on.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I didn't see.
I just I just thought he wasyou know, and it was.
He was at that age like 13, 14,where you know how it is.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Rebellion.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Rebellion.
Sometimes you don't even likeyour own kids, like sheesh, but
so that's that.
But do you have a child leftoutside?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yes, so I have my.
I have a son, okay, yeah, myson.
He lives with his mom, but hecomes over every other weekend
and when he comes over he's, Imean, everybody says their
child's a good child.
But he's a pretty good child.
So when I do leave him alonewith my wife and there is an
issue probably been one or twoissues my wife is very careful.
She treads lightly and she'lljust.
(20:00):
If it comes to it, she'll callme.
You know, right, my sonso-and-so, so-and-so, my son so.
And so all I got to do is geton the phone with him and I'll
be like listen, chill out do youtake?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
so alright, he comes to your home, but do you have
time with you and him?
Because, remember, now you gota family and he's going to feel
like an outsider.
Do you take that necessary stepand I?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
yes, I used to overdo it to the point where it
affected my household.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
I think it's a necessary thing.
Go ahead, and I'll let youfinish.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
So I used to overdo it, because I used to
overcompensate, because he's notaround me all the time, he only
comes on holidays.
So whenever he came over, Iused to give all my attention to
him and I was oblivious to thefact that my wife and my
daughter is looking like youknow.
But it never caused any tensionbetween them.
But after a while my wife andmy daughter came they said you
listen, when he's around, youknow, you just give him all your
(20:58):
attention and I'm like well, Ifeel like.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
He doesn't live there .
Speaker 3 (21:02):
That's you know.
That's what I say.
I said, listen, he's not aroundall the time, so I feel like I
have to overcompensate now.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
The same guy, when I was datinghim, he had a son and he would
like so.
His son used to come from outof state and he's like I don't
want to spend the night Becauseit's just a little too.
He's like, no, you can stay.
I was like no, he's out of,he's from out of state.
I believe that you should, youknow, give him all your
attention.
So one morning I was leaving, Iwas like he was like you coming
(21:31):
back.
I was like, no, I'll see youMonday.
And then the son was like good,right.
Cause he felt it and I said Itold you, you, you know like he
needs your time, he's from outof state, he's here, here and he
doesn't necessarily want to seeme here.
So when he said that, good, andyou know he disciplined them
and I was like I was trying totell you same thing, like with
(21:52):
my son, and I used to tell myson's father, like you need to,
yes, you have a woman, but yes,I don't necessarily want to go
to your woman's house yeah forthe weekend, like that's your
time you get to see her, or week.
I think you should just maketime with your child.
So I don't think it'sovercompensation.
At the end of the day, you livewith the two of them.
I mean, that's just my opinion.
(22:13):
I understand you live with thetwo of them and you're a male,
he's a male.
I don't think there's anythingwrong with that.
I think that time apart is goodand that overcompensating Like
that time apart is good and thatovercompensating, Like I said,
you don't live, you're with themall the time and he's just here
for holidays.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Yeah, and as we found a place in the middle, A happy
medium.
Yes, and as he got older, youknow he needed less and less
attention.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So you know, now he's a teenager, now it's like he's
on the video games.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
He don't even pay me no mind, no more man.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
you'd be lucky if they pick up the phone.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah you know.
So it's all good now, but itwas a little issue coming up and
I had to look at myself.
It depends on how you look atit From their perspective.
I understand where they'recoming from.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Right, no, I understand, I understand, but,
like I said, he doesn't livethere and they do, and then you
have a thing where, like that'snot, your Kids think about a lot
of things.
That's not your biological kidand I am, it's just, it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I have a question for y'all.
What was y'all On the datingscene when y'all was coming up
without kids?
What was you preferring?
If a situation came up and agentleman for you had a kid,
would you talk to him?
If the girl you wanted wasgoing to talk to she had a kid,
what would you do?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I would prefer not to , but I would be selfish because
I've had my kids since I was 16.
So basically, everybody I met,I already had a kid, so I had to
.
Ideally I wouldn't want to bebothered with a kid, because
it's just like I have to dividemy time.
I have to realize that my time,his time, has to be divided,
right.
But if it's a kid and it's youknow, if a kid is involved, then
(24:04):
I'll just have to.
You know I'll accept it.
But I would prefer no kids andno ex-wives either.
Yeah, the first option alwayswas no kids.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
I mean, I don't think anybody really wants to date
anybody with kids.
But you know, it depends on howmuch you like the person that
you're dating.
You know Sometimes you'rewilling to.
I don't tolerate it orwhatsoever, but it's always the
first option to have somebodythat's kidless and it gives you
the hope that you'll be able tostart a family with them, you
(24:34):
understand.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
So at what age did you start dealing with women
that had kids?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Well, you know, by the time we was about 30,
everybody.
If you found a woman thatdidn't have kids, most likely
down to nine out of ten timesmight have been something wrong.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
You know, right and that was my thing, that was my
um I I like up to my 30s orsomething like that.
I wasn't dating women with kids.
Okay, I didn't care.
I was like you know, I rememberthis chick um, I was in a club,
so I'm talking to her and shesaid, yeah, this is the first
(25:12):
time I'm going out in a long,long time.
I said, oh, really.
She said yeah, because I justhad a baby.
I said, matter of fact, I wasin my late 20s, something like
that, early 30s, and she waslike 26, 26 or 25 and I said, oh
, you just had a baby.
I said how long?
She said around six months oh,that's fresh.
(25:35):
I said.
I said, I said why are you out?
Speaker 2 (25:38):
she's closed out.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
She's not healed, yet she's closed out.
So now?
So now I was talking to her.
She's saying that she's sayingshe had a kid and I'm like she's
six months.
I said I said what happened tothe baby father, I'm in the club
telling her that she's like,yeah, nah, we just broke up and
stuff like that.
I told her that I think youshould get back with her.
(25:59):
Any woman that I met then Iused to tell them I think the
best thing is for for you to getback with the father of your
child.
All right, everything isbecause I never wanted to be
looked at as not even a stepdad.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
A homewrecker.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah, yeah, like for the child to look at me in any
type of way, like, okay, you'reintruding Always the child and I
stuck with it.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
My rules is I had when I got older and I was
dating women with kids.
I had maybe the two kid, onebaby daddy rule.
Okay, if you had two kids, onebaby daddy was fine, but once
you had multiple kids with morethan one baby daddy never really
going to take you seriously.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
No, you might stick around have a little bit of fun.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
That's a party.
Yeah, party, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
So I didn't have more than one kid because of that.
I didn't want, and I havefriends with more than one baby
daddy and I know that they kindof probably feel the way when I
say it.
But in terms of a woman, whatdo you feel when a woman has
more than one child's father?
Speaker 3 (27:05):
This goes back to my parents.
I'm actually worried.
I can't I mean in the Westinahousehold that I am.
If you come home with a womanand she has multiple kids, first
of all that's pretty bad in myhousehold.
But if you have multiple kidswith multiple baby fathers, they
look at you and it's likeyou're an idiot what's wrong
(27:25):
with you?
Why are you bringing a womanwith multiple?
You could do better.
You're an idiot Like.
What's wrong with you?
Why are you bringing a womanwith multiple?
You could do better?
Speaker 2 (27:31):
You're making our family look bad, right, I mean
as a mother to a son too, if hecame home and had a female that
had multiple baby daddies and hewanted to be third, like whoa?
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Sheesh yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
That's rough.
Yeah, yeah, it gets complicatedman.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Oh, multiple um parents get complicated, yeah
what's that show part?
Partridge, you know now he'stalking about it.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Now, brady bunch for real, right yeah pretty much a
little different.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
It's a little different but?
But how do you guys feel when ababy mother will shun the baby
daddy that brings food for hiskid?
That's his kid.
I mean if he doesn't want tobring kids food.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Oh, you're talking about that clip.
It's a lot of those clips, butthat's his kid.
If there's five kids and hejust brings food for one.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
We don't know what this guy's financial layout is.
You know there's nothing wrongwith it.
His kid is hungry and that'shis kid.
He's bringing food for his kid.
You can't shun him for notbringing food for your other
four kids, that you have otherpeople.
I think that's just not fair.
(28:45):
But you do have men that'sgoing to bring for all the kids.
They don't even care.
You know what I mean.
But, like I said, we don't knowwhat this man's financial
availability is.
And he's taking care of his kid.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I feel that's his option.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Yeah, it is his option, the woman can't get mad
because of that.
No, they get mad.
You're not supposed to get mad.
You're not supposed to get mad.
You're not supposed to yeahbecause it's not his
responsibility.
How about you feed your kids?
You know what I mean.
Like it's not on other men tobring.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Why about their fathers?
Feed them?
You know, that's right, but Iwould do it.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
You have a lot of males.
You feed all five.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
I don't know about five.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's another two or three in there.
Another two or three, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Well hold on.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Get something that will feed everybody.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Hold on.
But you said you're saying thatlike it's.
You know you don't see noproblem.
So now suppose a gentleman saysokay, I'm going to come bring
you food.
While he's dealing with you, heknows you have a son, but he
just comes and brings food foryou.
It's dinner time.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
He brings food for, and then what you're?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
going to do?
Is you're going to give it toyour son?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I'll share it with my son, but I'm looking in my lens
, I'm trying to.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
How would you look at him If you say we're?
Speaker 2 (29:56):
hungry.
He's insensitive, but thenagain I would have to know what
his financial abilities are,what Maybe he buys a large one
and it's just for me and my kid.
I can't fault him.
In whatever case may be, Ican't say it depends on what I
said, me and my Say we hungry,we are hungry, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And if he Comes with a medium, with a medium, you
know, it isn't, but that's nothis responsibility to feed me
either.
It's not a responsibility.
Okay, when you're dating, whenyou're dating or when you're in
a relationship, you don't havethat responsibility.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
That's not his responsibility.
No, it's not.
But if I say, hey, babes, meand him, we're hungry and he
brings one, then it's like allright, I said we're hungry, it's
a little different.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
It feels like he's not invested into you.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Right, right, he's like man screw this kid yeah
yeah, yeah, you come with foodfor your son and your wife and
your daughter.
Like how would that look?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
It doesn't look good.
It doesn't look good, so likewe probably won't have much more
dates after that.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Right, they get their working papers.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
At least they show you ahead of time.
Of course it shows me yourcharacter.
Yeah, it shows me yourcharacter.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's.
You know, like some women,their demands is outrageous.
So then, that's why I'm suchEspecially now.
Yeah, they want you to pay forthem.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
And me and Ma had this discussion a lot.
I'm not used to.
The only time I'm going to payfor a date Is if it's his
birthday or Father's Day.
I don't see a need.
I'm not used to.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
Paying for dinners.
I can't say I've ever had.
Yeah, I have had a woman payfor dinner.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
But it was your birthday or Father's Day.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Yeah, but routinely.
I mean, I pay for dinner, but Idon't think that should be in
stone, you understand.
If she wants to pay for dinnersometime, I won't say it.
Well, just to be a man.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I'm like no, all right okay if you insist, if she
wants to, there's nothing wrongwith it, but I'm not accustomed
to going to dinner with a maleand paying what about going?
Dutch no, she's not going fornothing.
I'm not going.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
Dutch, she ain't going for nothing.
What if it's a first date?
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Oh, definitely I'm not.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
He should be trying to impress you, right?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, he's not even impressed.
Like I'm not used to paying fordates, I'm not.
I understand.
That's just not how I, and thenI don't meet those type of men.
I don't, I generally don't, youprobably meet them.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
You're just not attracted to them.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I've never had a, I've never had a situation where
it's like are you going tohandle this?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I've never had that hey.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
So you go on a date.
First of all, you meet a woman.
You introduce yourself to her.
She doesn't come to you.
I mean if I was the one to sayhey, If you was to pursue it If
I was to pursue it maybe I would, but I don't pursue because of
that, because then I'm going tohave to ask you to go on a date
(33:08):
and then I ask so then I guess Iprobably feel obligated, but I
don't want to feel thatobligation at all.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
So then, what is the like?
Okay, this is mandatory for themen that are supposed to do
these things, right, but what ismandatory for the women to do?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I didn't.
It's a date.
I mean, it's not a date, date,but I'm just saying it was
mandatory.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
I said it's in the rule book things to do dating,
or what is it?
What is the rule for a woman?
I sent both of y'all a video.
Right, I sent both of y'all avideo on instagram.
I'm too sure, sorry about umthis, this young lady she has a
podcast she was talking to Idon't know if this lady she's
she's a specialist.
I don't believe what.
I didn't believe what she wassaying.
(33:46):
The question, the question wasis it mandatory for a woman to
have sex with a man whilethey're dating?
Is it mandatory?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Not if she has like a , not if if she celebrates.
No, it's not mandatory, it'snot mandatory, it's not Okay.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
If we're dating, yeah , I'm going to expect Expect sex
Eventually.
It depends on.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Eventually how long we're dating.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
You understand, I might not expect it On the first
or the second date, but ifwe're pursuing something.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Oh Mott wants it.
On the first date?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
No, no, no.
Dating, dating.
What if she's on a?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
sexual sabbatical and you really like this chick.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
I don't think she should be dating.
Then, if she's on a sexualsabbatical, oh no, because it.
Yes, y'all need to have aconversation before you do that,
right, right.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
You really like him, Like you know what she said
she's not having sex.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
I don't believe it, that lady, I don't believe the
lady, what she was saying.
She said it's not mandatory.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Sounds good, because she said it's not mandatory.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
She said it's not mandatory, but she didn't say
this is what she practices,though she's saying it's not
mandatory.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Because she's having a conversation.
We don't have to put ourbusiness out there when we have
a conversation.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
So then, how true could it be doing it?
It's like you're a doctorprescribing drugs.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
you won't take so back to this dating thing.
So you go on a date, you askher to go on a date, you pay.
Do you expect something after?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Depends on how much I spend Selling.
Omg, if you're going to orderthe lobster and the shrimp
special, I'm going to expectsomething, so you're creating
sex with the food.
Of course, I think most menthink like that.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yes, yeah, what's that steak called again?
Oh, tomahawk steak, tomahawksteak yeah, so you're going
straight home.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So, if you so, how do you, how do you, how do?
Speaker 3 (35:38):
you, I might not want it that night.
How do you?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
You got to tap to Within that week.
Within that week.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Lord help us.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Uh-huh, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
So I mean, and then you don't Like.
You see, it's not happening.
You really like her.
You're like nah, it's a wasteof my time.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Yeah, I'll step off.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Okay, yeah, I know you step off, so ASAP.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
ASAP.
I mean, what would move you tobe like all right, I'm really
into this guy.
Say he take you to get someTomahawks and then he's taking
you to LV and then go to Guccifor some slides, it's more
conversation intellect no okay,say, that's like eight hours
(36:20):
right there, then what?
Then he says, come back to thecrib.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I can't get that back once I give it, so I have to be
very careful who I give it to.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
No, Okay, Okay.
So that's that.
So you're accepting these stuff.
You're accepting the tomahawk,the Louie, the Gucci and he says
come to the crib.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Because you know these things come with something
.
It's basically a nonverbalagreement.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
once you accept these things, Nah, it's basically a
non-verbal agreement.
Once you accept these thingsrealistically.
That's how it is in a man's mindokay, okay yes, you know, so I
mean this ain't this, ain't me,and then I'll give him his stuff
back.
If he's like, listen, I didn'tdo this, just just for you to
just tell me thank you, I'llkind of give you your stuff back
you've already given some of it, not all of it, because you did
(37:06):
you did I like it'squantitative here.
Like you did, you did um I didinvest time too.
I have to get dressed, I haveto get my hair done and all that
stuff.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So he's gonna say listen, give me that tomahawk
steak too, have you go um.
You know, go throw that up.
You know what I mean, you knowbut it's um.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
So I mean, if he, he, if he like listen, like I'm not
doing this just for thank yousand likes, and whatever the case
may be, like alright, and Ifeel like I don't, maybe I don't
want to have sex with this guy.
Then that's it, I'll have toend it, and he'll want to end it
too, because he just expressedto me like listen, I want some.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Some guys won't add it.
They'll keep pursuing itbecause they feel like you owe
me.
You owe me now, not even.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Because now you're a chase, yeah, but now I know I'm
a chase and I know once you getit, you're gone.
So you're definitely notgetting it.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
That's a greasy game out here.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It is a greasy game.
You guys like a good chase, butI don't want to play the
chasing game.
I don't have a chasing game inme.
This is not what I want to do.
I already know.
I probably don't know from thefirst date if you're going to
get it or not, and I'll stillaccept the stuff.
I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
I'm actually more attracted to women that will
give me a little hold out.
I take it more seriously, asopposed to somebody that will
ride on the first date.
I won't take it seriously, youwon't respect her.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yes, I won't respect her, not me, not me.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
You respect her.
After the first Like, it's thefirst night.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
No, it just tells me who you are when you give it up
right away.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
What.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Is that a positive thing or a negative thing?
No, let's just it's a positive.
Really, I don't see it likethat.
Let's unpack that.
What is it telling you?
It's telling me that she knowswhat she wants.
She knows what she wants andthis is what it is Today,
tomorrow, next week.
This is what it is.
Let's get this out the way andthen we're going to see who we
really are.
All right, is Mark going tostay?
(38:59):
Okay, I mean, I have to respect.
Is Mark going to stay?
I have to respect your.
That's what worked for me.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
And at your age not that you're looking because you
are engaged.
I guess at your age you don'thave time to waste, because we
really don't have time to waste.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
I'll tell you the truth Honestly.
That's the relationships thatI've had.
Long-term relationships isusually when I sleep with them
on the first night.
Now, if any woman gives me pastlike a week or so, listen.
I don't got time Like no, Imean well, certain circumstances
, things happen, but no, we justgoing to chill, we're not, you
know.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Let me chirp in on that.
I feel the opposite.
I feel if you give it to me onthe first night, you have no
self-control, and when I'm notaround you and you're around
somebody that you're attractedto, you'll give it up the same
way.
By you holding out, that showsthat you're you could control
your emotions, you could betrustworthy.
You know it's all positive tome if you made me, made a week,
(39:59):
two weeks, that's even better.
But for me, giving you rightaway, that just gives me a whole
.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
It's kind of it's how she gives me it gives me the
whole vibes.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
It gives me the whole vibes.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
It's kind of whole vibes, but it's according to how
you got it.
I mean what works?
Speaker 3 (40:11):
for you.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
It's according to what you said, to get it In the
car Anyway.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
So you're looking at her like.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Say you meet her in a club or something, it's
according to what you say andhow you got it, even if it's
like in a car.
Oh, you mean sex in the car.
What do you mean?
We're fighting.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
She can't even wait to get home.
No, no, no, and she's bringingyou home like the first day,
like I don't even know you Like.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
sometimes you're on the first day with some males.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
You don't even know their last name.
So how am I giving it to you?
I don't even know your lastname.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Now listen, Listen.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Nothing's.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
And then you break up Things happen, let's get this
stuff out the way you ever had aone night stand, of course.
How do you look at this femaleafter it's a one night stand,
drunk or not drunk?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
It's just, I don't take it seriously.
It was fun, we had a little funand that's pretty much it.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
But as far as one night stands it could be good
and it could be bad.
How many summer swim nightstands you had?
Speaker 2 (41:13):
None, and it's not on my bucket list.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
You never had, not one.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
No Two day stand no no no no it ain't no one night
stand over here.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
And it's not on my bucket list either.
It's not a bucket list.
Things happen.
You was never really a hardbody drinker like that anyway.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Yeah, alcohol plays a major part in it.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I mean, I get a little loose.
I probably feel a littlefrontacious, you're a one drink
specialist.
You catch them girls, with themfour drinks.
It's over.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
Especially if they're drinking at a Henny.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
And sloppy drunk females.
I look at them in the club likeugh.
And sloppy drunk females, don't?
I look at them in the club likeugh.
I don't get sloppy drunk stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
What about, like, if you say you ready for that time
and say you ready, and then thatperson wants to have sex
without a condom on?
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Would you look at them?
How would you look at them?
No, self-control, I mean yeah,and then with that, that's a
whole nother.
When you start taking condomsoff, you're really invested in
each other at that point, as afemale, I'm gonna go out there.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
I don't think any guy ever turned on sex because he
didn't have a condom.
Most guys don't, right youunderstand.
Once turned on sex because hedidn't have a condom Most guys
don't Right.
You understand Once you're inthe heat of the passion of the
moment, with all that's going onnow.
You're not thinking straight atthe moment.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
anyway, You're horny, you're drunk.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
You just want to.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
You know that goes out the window.
You take chances.
Men take a lot of chances.
Yeah, I take a lot of chances.
Everybody took them.
All men took numerous chances.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Yeah, they say throw your um, throw your um throw
your private um crap table.
So it's like it's um, but thenum, I think it's more.
It's more of a crime for awoman to want to accept that
accept that it's a crime.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
What if a female says hey, I'm going to go get tested
and I want to see your resultsand I want you to bring me mines
.
Would you do that?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
What do you mean After she's pregnant?
Speaker 2 (43:21):
No, just before she give it to you.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
That's much before.
We have to be vested in order.
I mean, what if she?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
wants to do that.
You don't think that's aresponsible thing?
Speaker 3 (43:29):
It's responsible, but it's a little extreme.
Oh okay, I'm just asking.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
It's extreme.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
It's like who do you think?
Speaker 3 (43:36):
you are.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
She wants to know, she wants to show you hey, I'm
clean, I want to make sureyou're clean too.
I'm just saying, well, I'm justdoing it out there.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
I guess it depends on who it is.
The woman you know, sheprobably finished living her
life in a brothel.
Now she's trying to be.
All you know.
Mrs Queen, oh Lord, she overthere by Pennsylvania Avenue.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
So the Knicks is in the playoffs.
Yeah, you a Knicks fan.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I know you are.
I'm a bootleg Knicks fan.
You know, when they win it, I'mwith them.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Actually, I'm only into basketball around this time
.
So right now, what are we doing?
Where is?
So right now, what are we doing?
Is it the last of?
So who was Knicks playing lastnight?
Speaker 3 (44:16):
The Philadelphia 76ers.
It was game one of a seven-gameseries the Knicks won in New
York last night.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
So, east and West, they're down to the wire now.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
No, oh, not yet.
No, but they're in the firstcomponent.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Okay, so who else is playing on the East side?
I don't care about the Eastside.
Speaker 3 (44:34):
The Celtics played in Miami Heat today the Celtics
won.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
So those two teams are competing, and then the
other two teams are.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
There's more than there's actually eight on each
side.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Right now Eight teams in the east and eight in the
west.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
And eight turns into four and four turns into two and
two eventually turns into.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
Oh my God, that's going to be crazy if we win,
since what?
Speaker 3 (44:55):
1973?
Mine should know better than me.
I'm not really a Nick fan likethat, I'm a convert now it's a
while.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
It's a while it's in the 70s, definitely not in the
80s.
Did you buy any?
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Nick wear.
Speaker 3 (45:09):
I'm not a Nick fan.
To that extent I'm just nowgetting I'm a little bit of a
convert.
I used to be a Nick Hader Meand Mont discussed this because
I was a Michael Jordan Bulls fanand those guys were arch
enemies.
So I held that hate for manyyears.
But as I got older I let it goand now I'm looking at the
Knicks.
They got a pretty good team.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Jalen yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
They have the ability to go far in the playoffs.
I don't think they're going tobe able to win it the whole
thing right now, but they have abright future ahead of them.
Okay All right.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
They're going to need more than Jalen to really
really bring it home.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
I saw last week you had a Knicks jacket on.
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
I got calls saying why are you doing that?
I never heard you talk aboutKnicks all these years, Mike.
Why are you doing that now?
I said yo, listen.
I cheered in silence, brothers.
I don't have to be out loudlike y'all.
Y'all are the ones who bejinxing him.
Go Nick's out when the next.
No, I'm quiet.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
And you experienced a lot of pain throughout the
years.
There's a lot of trauma thatgoes along with being a Nick's
fan.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yes, yes, yes.
A lot of ups and downs, A lotof more downs, no ditty.
So which Nick greats did wehave?
We had John Starks.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
He was not no great.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
I wouldn't say great.
He was pretty good.
A great would be more likePatrick Ewing.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Yeah, patrick Ewing, patrick Ewing.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Patrick Ewing.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
What's his name?
What's the homeboy who came outthe tunnel?
Hurt yeah, hurt yeah.
They won Carmelo, walt Frazier,walt Frazier's won, but Bernard
.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
King.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Bernard King.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Who else we had.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
And Walt Clair Frazier, of course.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Was Carmelo playing for us a little bit.
Speaker 3 (46:44):
Yeah, a few years ago .
That has to be like more than10 years ago.
Yeah, carmelo was over there,he brought some excitement to
New York and they made it to theplayoffs but they didn't.
They run out of, if I canrecall the run.
They didn't really go too farin the playoffs right, okay, but
we had some brutes though.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
We had Oakley, we had Mason yeah, it was tough.
Rip Mason, you see, but now.
But now our brute is like thatOG guy, but he's not really a
brood, that African dude.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
I know that came from Toronto.
Yeah, he's a brood.
Og Beninobi, he's a brood, butwe need for the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
We need more broods.
Okay, Bronson is a brood also,yeah, but you know we're going
to need some more to really getit done.
Okay For.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Shizzle.
On the west side we have Wellmy only concern on the west side
you know me and my guy is thatLeBron gets in.
The Lakers get eliminated.
That's the only thing I'mworried about on the west side.
But right now the favorite onthe west side is LeBron is
playing Denver Nuggets.
Okay With the Joker.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Are the Warriors still in?
Speaker 3 (47:47):
No, they got eliminated in the play-in game
over the weekend.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Okay, I bought a.
I did buy a pair of BoJackson's Nice, the original
with the orange and the blue.
So that's my contribution tothis whole Knicks thing, or
whatever, but Bo Jackson didn'the play.
He was a phenomenon, yeah, butit had the colors, though, so I
(48:16):
caught him.
I said, all right, I'll wearthat at work till, they win.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
I actually went to a game.
My fiance bought me sometickets for Christmas present.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I forgot who they played, but they won.
And I was telling my homeboysOkay, I saw it, I saw the.
I forgot who they played, butthey won, you know.
And I was telling my homeboyswho love the Knicks I'm saying,
see, when I go to the game wewin.
You know, that's a couplemonths ago.
That's when they really startheating up stuff like that.
But let's go Knicks.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
Speaking of basketball, I have a new love
for the sport, and it's thefemale college basketball has
been catching my eye within thelast few years.
The Reese and Kaitlyn.
I didn't really, yeah, kaitlynClark, you know.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Flo J, flo J, what's the name of the one that shut
Kaitlyn down the other day.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
I forgot her name.
The one that took her personalHer.
I forgot her name.
I want to take it personal Her.
I forgot her name, yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
So I saw the whole story with Caitlyn waving her
off and she was like it'spersonal.
Speaker 3 (49:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
And then, with that whole, the revenge tour is over.
Yes, it was a year, it took ayear.
She said that.
You know, it made her feel bad.
It made us question god, yeah,she didn't want to go on.
(49:42):
She really, really hurt hernationally.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Hurt her nationally, hurt her, yeah, um, caitlin
embarrassed her, then sheembarrassed caitlin but robin of
taking her cookies, oh yeahyeah, but I don't like how this
caitlin clark thing is playingout, like we're giving caitlin
all the glory and that's truesouthern south carolina south
carolina right university ofsouth carolina usc1 right and
this whole and I hate when race,you know it's always, it's
(50:05):
always race.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
I'm gonna say hate, it's always, race, right.
So apparently Caitlyn's teamgot invited to SNL Last year,
lsu.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
Yeah, LSU with Reese.
Speaker 2 (50:19):
As you beat.
Speaker 3 (50:21):
Iowa, Iowa yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
And Jill Biden was like oh, we want both of them to
come to the White House.
Why, it's always the winnersRight.
And then some reporter calledReese and I'm Dirty Debutantes,
yes like you know, and then youask like well, we always have a
chip on our shoulders becausethis is this and we only.
We go through this at work.
(50:45):
We go through this like all thetime, like there's no reason
why we're praising Caitlyn andI'm not giving these girls their
roses, and it really, reallyupsets me.
Speaker 1 (50:57):
And you know what else, you know what else is
going on.
She's getting, I think Ibelieve, a Nike deal, a Nike
deal, a big, huge deal.
Right, let me tell you thething about it is all right,
she's the number one pick.
I think she's getting like agood $7, $8 million Nike deal.
She's getting like a good seven, eight million dollar Nike deal
.
But then they got people who'sin the WNBA.
There's this black girl.
(51:18):
She's won, I think, twoOlympics, like two championships
, nothing, four MVPs, noendorsements.
No, no, no, no Nikeendorsements.
And she's like yo, how come shecould come in and get it?
She can't.
She would come in and get thistype of big deal and look, I've
been here, I've been here.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
Because they feel sorry for her.
They really feel sorry for her.
Because they feel sorry for who, Caitlyn?
They feel sorry for her because, like you don't need and you
didn't, You're number one.
You never won a championship.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
No, that's not being.
I don't think they're doing itbecause they feel sorry for her.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
No, no, they feel sorry for her.
Plus she's white yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Right you know.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
And then look, prada set her up Apparently.
That outfit was $42,500.
Like you couldn't give.
I don't think anybody else,none of them, you know, got, you
know, is like hey, let me dressyou, or whatever the case may
be, it's just this wholesituation got whitewashed.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
I mean y'all going to kill me for this.
But I kind of understand whyNike's offering that money,
cause she bought a lot moreviewership.
She bought a lot of money intocollege basketball.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Okay, I mean it's business.
Speaker 3 (52:28):
Yeah, from the business aspect.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I don't like the fact .
Like I said, with.
Jill Biden.
Oh, let's invite the losers aswell.
Why?
Because they lost.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying
and then SNL like how you don'tinvite the winners.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
You invite the losers yeah.
Speaker 3 (52:44):
That's racism right in your face.
Definitely Not fair.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
I think it's more about integrity.
It's like, you know, you, youokay, it's about business, but
what about the why the game isnot growing to begin with?
Because you're not celebratingthe one who's actually doing it
she, she's actually there andyou're not.
You know who's actually dumbthe girl that's MVP, the lady
that's MVP on the?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
older, the older the expert.
Yeah, so, dawn Staley, what areyou talking about now?
Speaker 1 (53:10):
I forgot her name, the one who's in the WNBA.
I'm sorry, I forgot her name.
Okay, she had all thoseaccolades and not a sneaker deal
and not a major deal like that.
Okay, so it's like I get it.
It's about what you're bringing.
You know, viewership,viewership, but it's all right,
when she gets to the league,it's going to be different.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
Oh yeah, there's going to be rookies all over
Like they're going to.
She's going to, she's going tolearn today, right, I mean now,
she's nice they wait for her.
Them girls are waiting for her.
She's nice.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
And it is, but she's going to.
She's causing a lot more littlewhite girls wanting to play
basketball.
Now she, she's nice, she's agreat way to hope.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
All right.
So yes, this is episode 81.
Your Opinion Doesn't Matter,podcast man, and usually we do.
You know some closing words.
You know my closing words is Isaid it before, I'll say it
again you say and if you knewbetter, you'd do better, right,
(54:18):
better right and um takeadvantage of um, take advantage
of time.
Certain things you can't getback, make every second count,
every minute count, every hour,day, weekend, month count,
because when you look back, youcan only remember the year, you
can't remember the day, youcan't remember the time, because
I'm I'm looking back at mydaughter's pictures when she was
two and I was so happy.
Now she's five you know whatI'm saying and I can't remember
(54:39):
what month those pictures wastaken in you know beside, hey,
it's going to be summertime, butyou know you got to cherish the
moment.
You know what I'm saying.
That goes into if you knewbetter, you do better.
So now we know that time is,like you know we, limited, not
really limited, I don't want tosay that.
But you know, we gotta, wegotta make, make every second
count.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
And as, as we about to leave, I got some words also.
I believe that our health iswealth and, as a black man,
middle-aged black man, all theblack men out there should
invest into going to the doctor,eating healthy, exercising, and
we got to get our yearlycheckups just to go there, just
(55:24):
to check up, make sureeverything is OK, because a lot
of these diseases now they couldbe detected early just by
taking blood.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
So don't be afraid of the doctor.
Uh, what I have to say?
Getting back to what?
Um, the whole bonus parent.
Uh, my ending thought is onthis bonus parent.
I believe that when you're aabsentee, which is a parent
outside the home, and you gospend time with your child, you
(55:57):
should commit to time with thetwo of you alone, or the three
of you alone, because that timeis needed, whether it's just go
to the library, get some icecream.
Just make a commitment to dosomething with that child where
there's no outside influences oroutside people.
(56:17):
Just make it a nice bondingtime because it carries.
It goes a long way.
So, yes, this is the yourOpinion Doesn't Matter.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
Podcast episode 81.
81.
It's been a pleasure y'all itwas a pleasure too it was a
pleasure too.
All right, peace, y'all Peace.
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