Love, Trust, and Messy Truths

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
Welcome, welcome to the Your Opinion Doesn't Matter
podcast.
It's been a while, it's been awhile, it's been a while.
I'm one of the hosts, Mr.
Lamont.
And on my immediate left isSherry Berry.
How are you doing?

SPEAKER_05 (00:16):
I'm doing well, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 (00:18):
Nice, nice, nice.
And my far left, Mr.
Black Jesus.
How are you, my bro?

SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
I'm good.
I'm good.
Glad to be back, man.
It's been a while.
So let's get into this fullswing.
Give the people what they want.
You heard?

SPEAKER_03 (00:32):
Yeah, man.
It's been um long, long time.
It's been a couple of monthsthat all three of us sat
together.
I did, I did one in between.
That was like a couple monthsago, too.

SPEAKER_01 (00:40):
I had a very peaceful, productive,
family-oriented summer.
Um it was enjoyable.
I had a few memorable moments,you know, between uh, you know,
a little, a little party and alittle fetting, spending time
with the family, enjoying thegood weather, things and such
like that.

(01:00):
So it was it was a very nicesummer.
I have not no regrets thissummer.

SPEAKER_03 (01:04):
How was yours, Sherry?

SPEAKER_05 (01:06):
Um, it was fast, actually.
Summer came and summer left.
Um, I'm not a fan of summer, soI'm actually very happy that
it's gone.
You're not a fan of summer.
Absolutely not.
No, weather-wise, weather-wise,weather-wise.
It's the best part.
Um a little too hot for me.
Okay.
Um, but it came and it left.
Um, I had my ups and downs.

(01:27):
You know, I had some surgeries,I had things going on.
But um, you know, I in between Istill found time for me, and um
I made the best of it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:38):
Nice, nice, nice.
Well, summertime for me waspretty interesting.
You know, I've I was doing somethings that I didn't do before,
like on Facebook Live.
Okay.
I saw they recording me andevents and stuff and posting it
like on Facebook and anInstagram and stuff like that.
Because you know what?
I see a lot of things onFacebook, and it's not like
uplifting.
I see a lot of, oh, somebodypasses this, that, and the
third.
So I was like, let me let me letme just bring some type of um,

(02:01):
you know, hey, I'm having alittle bit of fun, you know.
I'm saying maybe people couldsee the kids.
Anything I'm doing, I'm postingit's just it's around, it's
around um kids like blockparties and stuff like that, or
even my event that has nothingto do with kids, though.
But um, my um, I was out onJamaica Avenue over the summer
selling my game at a booth,having some fun, you know?

SPEAKER_01 (02:20):
Yeah, yeah, I've seen that.
It's funny you said that,because I realize now with
social media now, it bringseverything to your doorstep.
It could be negative or it couldbe positive.
What I'm noticing now is itbrings death right to your
doorstep.
You're more aware of peoplepassing away more than anything.
Just sometimes it's justdepressing just to go, you know?
Just to show.
Yes.

(02:40):
You see it so much.
Yeah, but on the other side, itbrings a lot of positive events
to your life too, you know?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (02:47):
Yeah, man.
That's um something, somethingyou you go in there to see, hey,
like, see what this person'sdoing, that person's doing, and
then boom, something else isgoing on.
But and also, um, I what Ilearned is when you go Facebook
Live, people could just pop upon you when you wherever you at.

SPEAKER_01 (03:02):
I never did live.

SPEAKER_03 (03:08):
It should be some type of etiquette.
And it also should be some typeof um, I called Sterling the
other day.
I was um, I had messaged thisthis dude.
I'm in a group chat and I wastelling him about some nonprofit
stuff, right?
Because I knew they had anonprofit.
And um I didn't, I didn't Ididn't really like what the guy
said.
See, I know one of them is twopeople.

(03:30):
So the the one I know, he didn'treply, but the one his colleague
said something.
And I'm like, I'm like, I don'tlike it too tough, what he said.
But then I called, but you know,through text, you can't really,
you know, what do they mean bythis?
And then I called Still, I said,yo, Still, what what do you get
by this?
And he says, Yo, my.
He's just being straightforward,he's just feeling

(03:50):
straightforward.
He don't he don't owe younothing, he just tells you the
truth, you know what I'm saying?
But I don't want to go into theparticulars, but it was
something that I I just didn't Ididn't like.

SPEAKER_01 (03:59):
I think you should elaborate a little, just get a
little more so that people canhave understanding right.

SPEAKER_03 (04:04):
So only time I enter this chat is to um tell them
about some things they could Ithey could pursue as a
nonprofit, right?

SPEAKER_01 (04:12):
Business wise, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (04:13):
Business wise, nothing personal, nothing to do
with me.

SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (04:17):
So I say something in regards to yo, there's an
opportunity for you, maybe ifyou want to do this, that, and
the third.

SPEAKER_01 (04:23):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (04:23):
And his reply to me was um, first he's talking about
how much he's getting paid.
And I'm like, what?
This is not a paid situation,it's about what you can get out
of, what you could do to get outof it, not me paying you.
Then he comes back with a no,sorry, I I um I'm only gonna do
only thing is the only time I dofree things is for my

(04:45):
organization.
Right?
And I'm like, Why not just tome?
That's what I'm reading, readingit to Sterling, but it's a
little more.
I ain't gonna go get into extrawhat he said, but Sterling just
say, yo.
Matter of fact, I send it to youtoo.

SPEAKER_05 (04:59):
He sure did.

SPEAKER_03 (04:59):
I send it to you too, and then both of y'all were
saying, yo, that was too muchextra sauce on it.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (05:04):
But that's the thing with texting, though.
Texting can be read in in allkinds of ways.
So I'm I'm not my text is verylike limited words because I
feel like it can bemisconstrued, people can take it
in different ways.
So I rather, old-fashioned way,pick up the phone and call, or
let's see, let's sit down andtalk because you know, trying to

(05:25):
express it sometimes in texting,you know.

SPEAKER_03 (05:27):
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (05:28):
So he could have just interpreted that totally
different, yeah, you know, inthe way that it came across.
It just, you know.

SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
Yeah, that's the key.
Text is open to interpretation.
Yes.
So there's many, there's manyforces where you can go.

SPEAKER_03 (05:41):
Exactly.
Hey, I believe there should betext etiquettes, like it should
be like C Jane Run.
That's how you need to you needto put it so we can understand
there's no Da Vinci code in it.
You read it, oh, that's what hemeans.
You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 (05:54):
Yeah, but that's why we we should stay towards to the
basic because opencommunication, verbalizing, face
to face.

SPEAKER_05 (06:01):
Hi, how are you?

SPEAKER_01 (06:02):
You know, have a great day.
Yeah, therefore, it's it's lessit's less ways for for it to be
taken a wrong way if you're insomebody's presence, openly
communicating with them.
You understand?

SPEAKER_03 (06:14):
That's correct.
That's correct.
Yes, that's correct.
But yeah, y'all had a topic thaty'all wanted to talk about, you
know, it's pretty interesting.

SPEAKER_01 (06:22):
Yeah, um, I've been noticing lately around my
environment, you know, beingthat way, you know, we're a
little up there in age, youknow, going to the third
trimester of our lifetime.
So you figure, you know, peoplewill want to, you know, settle
down and be peaceful together.
But I'm noticing a lot of peoplearound me, especially couples,

(06:45):
you know, they're they aredeciding to go separate ways in
their relationship.
And I'm like, wow.
So I think one of the majorfactors, as always, when couples
decide not to stick it out, hasto do with infidelity.
So the questions I wanted to askis if us now, at this point in

(07:07):
our life, if we found out thatour significant other was being
promiscuous outside arelationship, how would we
handle it?
Will we take it as a directinterpretation that this person
doesn't love us no more?
And will we be willing to movepast it?

SPEAKER_05 (07:24):
So um I hear you.
But I don't think age, well agehas something to do with it, but
me personally, yeah, I would Iwould stick it out.
People cheat, okay.
Doesn't mean that he doesn'tlove you.
Doesn't mean that she doesn'tlove you, it could just be that
they're going through something.

(07:45):
I don't think that people are soquick to like just give up.
So we're all different inrelationships, right?
You go through a relationship,you love your man, you love your
woman, you're going throughstuff.
You could be going throughsomething in your relationship,
and he went outside of therelationship.
I don't think that he doesn'tlove you.
I don't think that he doesn'tcare about you.
I don't think that that men cando what they gotta do and they

(08:08):
could come right back is sex.
Thank you, girl.
You ain't you ain't mess up myhair today.
All right.
Next.
He still loves me.

SPEAKER_02 (08:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (08:19):
Because we have an emotional connection, we have a
lot going on, we have financestogether, we talk about
everything.
I know him.
You're having a moment.
Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 (08:30):
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Listen.
What they say, fat, skinny,tall, short, medium, man, don't
he gonna do it, and then youknow, he's gonna come back to
his woman.

SPEAKER_05 (08:40):
But eventually, if he loves me, he will come back,
he will come back to me.
We all go through differentthings in life in different
stages and different times, andyour household is not always
great.
And this is not a this is not ago-ahead pass to say, well, go
ahead and cheat and cheat andcheat.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying that if a man doescheat, I don't think that means
that he doesn't love his wife orhe doesn't love his girlfriend

(09:04):
or his fiance or whatever youare to that person.
I think that sometimes thingshappen in relationships and you
don't know what that person isgoing through.
And also for us women, we loseourselves.
We forget, we think we are soconfident, like yo, I have him
and I got him that we don't wedon't know how to keep him.

(09:24):
That's just that's just thereality that happens.
We're so comfortable with likethat's my man and I got him.
So I no longer have to put forththe effort.
I no longer have to, you know, Idon't cook.
I'll fit he'll figure it out.
I don't clean.
He'll figure it out, you know.
I don't have to do all thosethings.
I used to come in and kiss himand say goodnight and good

(09:46):
morning.
Now he's here all the time.
I don't have to do those things,but those are the same things
that he still wants.
And there goes that girl thatwalked past.
She's looking good, she'ssmelling sweet.
She said hi.
She said, How you doing?
She said, How was your day?
And then that's mean she gothim.
But it doesn't mean that hedoesn't want that from the
person that he developed a bondwith.

(10:06):
I understood.
It just means that you filled infor that time.
Thank you, girl, from thelesson.
So now I can now continue on andkeep him.

SPEAKER_03 (10:14):
But me, me, me personally, I I I can't keep a
woman that she cheat on me.
So I don't care what age, whatwhat what semester I'm in?

SPEAKER_05 (10:22):
But women cheat, women cheat, women cheating,
women cheating.
Not to say anything, but I saida woman cheat, that is a problem
because she's gonna get anemotional connection with
somebody.
Right.
Men is gonna screw.

SPEAKER_03 (10:35):
Right.
So then that's there's no,there's like like you said, it's
this it's like an instinct, notan instinct, but whatever you
want to call it, men can do itand then just still love their
woman.
Yeah, yeah.
When a woman cheats.

SPEAKER_05 (10:47):
I'm telling you, if if if I touch somebody else's
leg, it's a rap.

SPEAKER_03 (10:51):
Yeah.
It's like it's like a womanfeels for the man some some if
they cheat, it's it's a bigger,it's a bigger thing.

SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
Well, um, as far as me, right?
For years, I am very uh stubbornand I'm very old-fashioned.
And I always believed, andespecially in the past, if I
found any woman I'm dealing withcheating on me, it was an
automatic, okay, that's over.

(11:23):
Gotta move on, so and so.
But now that I'm getting older,I'm not saying I wouldn't
tolerate that, but myperspective has changed a little
bit.
Now, what if, let's just say,I'll give you an example.
What if she's cheating, treatingyou well at home, cooking,
cleaning, satisfy you sexually,things of sort, and then you

(11:44):
find out she's cheating out.
Does that with that?
She gotta go.

SPEAKER_05 (11:48):
She gotta go.

SPEAKER_03 (11:49):
She's out of here.
She's out of here.
She gotta go.
Listen, it don't matter whatshe's doing.

SPEAKER_05 (11:52):
She's just basically saying, she's basically saying,
I wanna have my cake and eat ittoo.
I like whatever you do at homebecause you're paying the bills
and you're taking care of home,and I'm still going out there
and I'm getting my extra.
She doesn't love you.
That's not love.
I'm just saying, as a woman, I'ma woman.
If I'm gonna put my attentioninto somebody else, then that's

(12:15):
my focus.
I personally, I could focus onone dude at a time.
I can't do multiples.
I'm sorry, that's too much forme.
That's too much lying, that'stoo much.
I gotta try to keep up, that'stoo much for me.
I gotta I gotta run down tofigure out, get you out, and get
that's too much.
Um I'm not doing all of that.
Me personally.
But what I do know is that ifI'm talking to somebody else,

(12:36):
there's something about him thatpsyches my interest.
There's something else about himthat I want to know.
I don't have time to focus onthe person that I'm with.
I'm gonna focus on that personbecause there's something about
him that wants me calling tohim.
So I can't I can't do both, mepersonally.
So I'm telling for most women,and they could sit here and the
women could tell me whatever,and I would love to hear other

(12:57):
people's comments or whateverthey have to say.
But I'm saying for me as awoman, the attention, I'm a
lover.
So trust me, if I'm if I'mtalking to somebody else, I
don't got time for you at homebecause I need him.
I need my attention on him.
I want to be told him.
So you would know if I'mcheating on you.
You would know.
You don't have to think aboutit, you don't have to think,

(13:18):
you're gonna know.
Once you see I'm not checkingfor you, I'm not loving on you,
I'm not caring, I'm not, I'm nottexting, I'm not calling you,
I'm not caring, I'm out thedoor.
There's somebody else that'sseeking my interests.
It's just that simple.
It's not, you know, women, womenare, you could tell a woman, you
know when a woman is doingsomething.

(13:40):
You know when she's doingsomething.
If somebody else got me, he gotme.

SPEAKER_03 (13:45):
It's over.

SPEAKER_05 (13:46):
It's over.
I'm not interested in you.
What you doing for me?
There's nothing that you'redoing for me.
And the more you keep giving, ifthe more you keep staying away,
and the more you keep doing allof that, you just leading her
into somebody else's arm.

SPEAKER_03 (13:58):
What's that song JC said?
When the um when a good girlturned bad, she's gone forever.

SPEAKER_05 (14:04):
It's just a matter of time.
She's gone forever.
You gotta know your household.
That's how I look at it.

SPEAKER_01 (14:09):
Yeah, I'm just I'm just trying to play devil's
advocate because I know manymen, and I'm sure you do too.
There's a lot of guys out therethat find out that their woman
is out there being promiscuous,and then they somehow they they
psych themselves out to makethem feel like they was part of
the problem.
Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 (14:25):
You just said I'm saying exactly, and and then
look at look at what they'redoing now, yeah, or what how
they helped you as a person.
Screw all that.

SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
And they and they're willing to go back into that
relationship.
Screw that.
I'm I'm just thinking, I thinkthe same thing.

SPEAKER_05 (14:38):
Are they going back to the relationship or are they
just waiting it out?

SPEAKER_03 (14:42):
No, going back to the relationship.

SPEAKER_05 (14:44):
Well, from the outside, from the outside.
What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 (14:48):
What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_05 (14:49):
Because you can go back to the relationship for
certain things, but you younever a man doesn't forget.

SPEAKER_04 (14:54):
Oh, yeah, never forget.
A man doesn't forget.

SPEAKER_05 (14:56):
You could tell me whatever you want to tell me.
He does not forget that his wifeor his girlfriend that he once
loved was out there doingsomething with somebody else.

SPEAKER_03 (15:05):
Yeah, see, that's why you don't keep it.
We visualize.

SPEAKER_05 (15:08):
He just said he just said that they come back.
So I'm saying he comes back.
What is the reason?
Because in the back of my head,I'm always thinking, I'm am I
sleeping with one eye open?
Does he really love me?
Does he really check for me?
Does he really do like this youa man don't forget?
Women can tend to say, I forget.
A man is not forgiving you.
He is not forgiving you, he isnot.

(15:30):
No way, it's alternative motive.
He's not.
The things that you share andthe bond that you share with
that girl, for him to think thatyou giving that to somebody
else, that already, especiallyif you're good at what you do.

SPEAKER_01 (15:44):
He's I understand, I understand.
I'm just trying to get it.
I'm just saying.
I'm just I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_05 (15:51):
If I'm good at what I'm doing, you don't want to you
don't want me to share that withnobody else.

SPEAKER_01 (15:55):
No, no.

SPEAKER_05 (15:56):
If I make you feel a certain way, you don't want to
think in your brain cell thethought process that I might be
doing that to somebody.

SPEAKER_01 (16:03):
But that's not really true.
I'm just gonna venture off intoanother subject that what about
people that have openrelationships now?
The open relationship is justopen marriages where they're
willing to let somebody elsetouch what's what's but
eventually it goes sour.

SPEAKER_05 (16:16):
If you notice people that have um open relationships,
right?
Or open marriages or whateveryou want to call it.
So, okay, we we're freaks.
Okay.
Swingers, swing.
We're gonna have swingers, orwe're gonna have threesomes, and
we're gonna do all of thisstuff.
Suppose, suppose the girl coulddo a split and I can't do a
split.
You always want to go after thatsplit.
That in your insurance, you'relike, oh, come here.

(16:39):
Suppose he got a bigger and heshe running after that.
I don't want any of that.
I don't want any of that.

SPEAKER_01 (16:48):
I hear you.
I hear you.
What do you feel about that,Mind?
You feel you could ever be in anopen relationship or open
marriage where you're you'reyou're free to venture out and
to be promiscuous with otherpeople now in the past?

SPEAKER_03 (17:01):
Yes.
Not for me now, like say therelationship it has to be
established from jump.
I can't be like right now, I'mlike seven, eight years in, and
then hey, let's have an openrelationship.
No, it can be open one way, myway.
She can't be open, you know.

SPEAKER_05 (17:16):
You very you know what, Monty, you know what?
I was I was with you for aminute, but you know, you very
like if she wanna open the door,I'll, you know, but for me only,
she don't get a whole way past,only me.

SPEAKER_03 (17:29):
But I mean, I wouldn't want that though.
I mean, you know, I wouldn'twant that.
I'm just saying that.
It's just entertainment onlypeople, it's entertainment only
peoples.

SPEAKER_01 (17:36):
No, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (17:37):
But I feel like she should have some sort of say so
because I if if we're gonna gothat way, I want to be able to
pick and say what goes on too.
So it can't just be your way.
So it's just if it's just youbeing pleased, then we don't
what that's that's corny.

SPEAKER_01 (17:50):
So do you think that the the the relationship could
be fruitful after you go throughthis phase where we have an open
relationship, we experiment withother people, and then we decide
now we're gonna get together andwe're gonna move on.
Do you think those relationshipssurvive?

SPEAKER_03 (18:04):
Um, yeah, listen, it it does kind of because um you
could say open relationship ifyou're dealing with it, if
you're dealing with somebody andyou and you ain't make her your
girl, but you've been dealingwith her for a couple years, and
then but you're doing your thingand she might be doing her
thing.
I'm I know that first hand.
You understand what I'm saying?
You're dealing with somebody andyou know you you you call up her

(18:24):
like three times a month orsomething like that.
You're dealing with her.
She's it's an open thing rightthere.
But that's a different type ofopening.

SPEAKER_05 (18:32):
That's a different type, yeah.
Yeah, I was like, because yourgirl don't know about her.
You're doing you.

SPEAKER_03 (18:37):
No, no, no, she's not your girl.
If somebody you're dealing with,like say somebody's open, oh,
you're talking about an openrelationship, relationship,
relationship.

SPEAKER_05 (18:43):
I'm saying any female, any female out there
that's listening to thisprocess, let me tell you
something.
If you're dealing with a guy, Idon't care if he's there Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,Friday, if he's dealing with
you, he's there at a certaintime, a certain moment, and
that's all he's giving you,that's not your man.
I'm gonna tell you that's notyour man.
Say it again.

(19:03):
If you are with, if you'redealing with a guy, say you're
dealing with a guy, you met aguy, he likes you, whatever, you
like him, or you banging orwhatever, and he's there around
you at a certain moment, at acertain time, just for like a
little bit of a time.
There's nothing else that youguys have going on.
So he comes, maybe he sleeps,sleeps with you, or he sleeps by

(19:24):
you, and he bangs you orwhatever, and you don't know
nothing else about that's notyour man.
True.
You're a convenience.
True.
Call it what you want to callit.
True.
It's a convenience.
That's not your man.
He's there by you, you'reconvenient.
I could come lay my head withyou.
You probably think, and then I'mup, I'm out, I'm moving about.
We do nothing else.

SPEAKER_01 (19:42):
Yeah, yeah.
That's not your man.
What are some of the signs whenyou're when you're that that
that uh person just there andyou know it's not going
anywhere.
You're just uh uh the sideperson.
What are the signs that youshould look out for?

SPEAKER_05 (19:59):
I feel like you already, I don't know if there's
a sign, but I feel like youalready accepted it the moment
that you let him into your intoyour home or into your life, and
you don't know anything abouthim.
Like you've never been to hishome, you've never met the
family, you never met hisfamily, you never met anything
else about him.
You just know that he comes andring your bell, or he comes in

(20:21):
at, you know, thing, and becausehe lay with you for a couple of
hours, or he comes and lay hishead down there, that doesn't
make him man.
You never found out anythingabout him.
So you already what are we whatare we really doing?
I would never I would neverargue with a female like that.
Girl, you are just for themoment.
I can tell you that in yourface.

(20:43):
You know, you're just a momentfor whatever he's going through
or whatever it is, because youdon't know anything about him.
If you don't know anything abouthim, if you've never visited him
in his home, you never went byhis door, you never went inside,
you never checked.
You you just for the moment.
And maybe you're just aconvenient, maybe he's going
through something, and if itworks out for you, you're just

(21:04):
the next victim.

SPEAKER_01 (21:05):
Yeah, there's actually people out like like
from what I understand now, sidechicks, a side man is a big
thing, and there are actuallypeople right now that love
playing that position where theydon't have to put too much into
it and they could just be Butyou know, eventually she or he
would.
You I think I think we're justthinking about how we are
old-fashioned.

(21:26):
I think the dynamics havechanged when it comes to
relationship and sex right now.
And the same things we wantedwhen we was coming up, or what
we what we demand is not indemand no more.
And I think people uh uh areshallow uh emotionally now.

SPEAKER_05 (21:40):
I think if if you're gonna open, if I'm gonna open my
door at four o'clock in themorning or five o'clock in the
morning, you know, just for youto come and ban me and lay your
head down for a couple of hoursor whatever, and then you get up
and you do it all over again.
I really will feel like I'm aused pillow after a while.

SPEAKER_01 (21:56):
Women like that, Sharianne.

SPEAKER_05 (21:58):
That I mean, I'm just saying what I would feel
like.
I can't speak for, you know,thing for a woman like that.
I can guarantee you that she'salso doing her.
It's just less for her to thinkabout with you.
So you might be the person thatshe says, you know, you're gonna
come by, but she's talking toother people.
I can guarantee you that.

SPEAKER_01 (22:16):
Obviously, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (22:17):
Because there's something within her that she's
missing.
If you're okay with that,there's something within you
that you're missing.
Yeah, because why are you socomfortable just opening your
door at four or five o'clock inthe morning and having a guy lay
up in your house on my bed, onmy sheets, and then when he gets
ready, he's just up and out andhe's gone.
And if he decides to come bytoday or he don't come by, then

(22:37):
that's all that I have.

SPEAKER_03 (22:40):
Women do it too.
What I'm telling you.
Women do that, make them callsfour in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 (22:44):
I have a friend that had that dynamic and he loved
it.
And whenever she called andsaid, listen, brother, I'm in
town, meet me at the telly.

SPEAKER_05 (22:53):
He's but it was just a sex thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 (22:55):
Yeah.
But he was he was okay with it.

SPEAKER_05 (22:58):
But that's what I'm saying, it's just sex, it's just
sex, it's just sex.
There's nothing else to do.

SPEAKER_01 (23:02):
I know I don't I wouldn't say it was Jack says,
he liked being around, he likedbeing around this woman.
Just on it, was just only on herterms, and he liked that.
He got a kick out of that.
So I I I I actually know a guythat that loved that dynamic.

SPEAKER_03 (23:14):
He's a side piece, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (23:15):
He he he was a man whore, basically.
Hey, have you?
He was a man whore.

SPEAKER_03 (23:19):
Was you ever a side piece, Sterling?
I mean, women didn't.

SPEAKER_01 (23:22):
I think at some point in our life we all were a
side piece.

SPEAKER_03 (23:25):
No, it and knew it.

SPEAKER_01 (23:26):
Of course, for for for not not so for a certain
amount of time, yes.

SPEAKER_03 (23:30):
Oh, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 (23:32):
You understand?
I think all of us at some timedealt with somebody that was
married or had a a a boyfriend,and when that boyfriend was
away, you would go ahead andit's the same dynamic.
You're a side piece for themoment.
You understand?

SPEAKER_03 (23:45):
Is it the same, Sherry?
You think?

SPEAKER_05 (23:47):
I think it is the same.
I think I I think it's I thinkit's the same.
I mean, everybody has choices inlife, and sometimes some people,
you know, you like that personthat much that you honestly
believe that that person will beyours, or you know, that is your
that's the intent that you'regoing with.
So you go along with it in hopesthat you know it works out that

(24:09):
way.
And sometimes it does work outwhere the person would leave the
person that they're with.
Very rarely.
You know, I got I got it.
I'm just saying, sometimes itdoes work out that way.
It does be very rare because itfeels I feel personally, if he's
willing to jump up and go toyou, he knows what he's gonna
get.
Because you're this this is whatyou this is who you are.

SPEAKER_03 (24:30):
I know a situation where the side the side person
who was beefing with the um thethe mother the wife.
Yes, things was getting hotbetween them, and next thing you
know, the side the side womanbecame the wife, and then she
got mad, he was cheating on her.
It's crazy.

(24:51):
I don't I don't believe so it'slike a it was like you you knew
you was that person to him.
Now what you you mad at himbecause he got somebody's that
person to you, you know?

SPEAKER_01 (25:01):
Yeah, yeah.
That's wow.
That doesn't change.
I remember um when I wasyounger, I met somebody that was
with somebody, and you know, webegan indulging into each other,
and somebody told me, an older,wiser cousin, because I really
like this person.
And he's he told me, he said,You see, the same way how she's
doing her boyfriend with you,she's gonna do you the same
thing.

(25:21):
And you know, fast forward sixmonths a year later, the
boyfriend was out of thepicture.
I became the main dude, andbefore you know it, she was
doing the same thing to me.
That's just who she's like,yeah, you understand, and then I
realized that's that's just whoshe is.
And it's kind of the same termas like not to be so blunt, but
you it's like you can't turn ahoe into a housewife.

(25:44):

SPEAKER_03 (25:45):
Hey, I mean, hey, hey, I think you could turn some
hoes into a housewife, though.

SPEAKER_01 (25:50):
Elaborate, Mont.

SPEAKER_03 (25:54):
You could find you could, you could, you could make
a a girl, like say you go to astrip club, you might think
she's a hoe.

SPEAKER_01 (26:01):
What do you mean she might think she's a hoe?

SPEAKER_03 (26:03):
How you would know if a girl is a hoe?
How you gonna know?

SPEAKER_05 (26:05):
Monty, Monty, Monty, I think you can take, I think
you could tell her a hoe with ahousewife.

SPEAKER_03 (26:10):
Depends, depends what you are.

SPEAKER_05 (26:12):
That's all embedded in her.
If she if she is a person thatcannot be tamed, let me tell
you, if you're messing with agirl, you messing with a girl
and she messes with somebodyelse, or she may bring something
back to you, or whatever.
I'm telling you, she is stilltalking to somebody else.
That is somebody that cannot bepleased.
Oh, no matter who you are, nomatter what you do, she wants

(26:33):
more.
She wants more.
Because if she's messing withyou, she's gonna find a way to
mess with somebody else.
That's who she is.

SPEAKER_01 (26:41):
To elaborate on what mine said, that could be just a
certain fade phase in her life.
It could be on the other side,we I think we knew many girls
growing up and they were verypromiscuous.
And now we look at them now andthey're they're they seem
happily married and they havethe family aspect.
So we wonder, are they stilldoing the same things they used
to do?
But realistically, we gottathink to ourselves, they had to

(27:02):
put that side of them away.

SPEAKER_03 (27:04):
Because I'm saying, like, how you're saying it,
Sterling.
What you're saying is more orless like me and you saying the
same thing, but Sherry Anne'sthinking of it, like if she
wants to be a hoe, she's gonnacontinue.
We're talking about if she'sready to change her life, can
we, would we wanna No, youdidn't say that.
You said I mean, but we knowshe's a hoe.
We know she says she gave uplife.

SPEAKER_05 (27:24):
I'm going off of what you're saying to me.
So I'm saying I just feel likeif that's what she does, it's
just a matter of time becauseshe cannot, she she has a
problem.
She has a problem.
So it doesn't matter what youdo.
Some people are just not, you'rejust never enough.
So it's like you know, you'renot enough.
She's gonna go out and findsomebody else that fulfills, you

(27:47):
know, whatever it is becausethat's who she is as a person.
I'm that's all I'm saying.
That could be who she is.
That's who she is as a person.
So it doesn't matter what youbring on this.
It's like you dating somebody,you talking to somebody, and you
you bring her in.
You gotta constantly watch yourwife or your girlfriend all the
time because that's that'scrazy.
Why do I want to talk tosomebody that I gotta constantly

(28:07):
keep my eye on every minute,wherever you go, whatever you
do.
That's that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 (28:13):
I understand, but we're saying could that same
person could evolve intosomething and and put those bad
traits behind her and becomesomebody's legitimate?

SPEAKER_05 (28:21):
I'm not gonna say no because that's that's that's
like a why.
I think things like this happen.
It would it it happens, itdepends on the individual and
where she is in her life, and itdepends on the on the man and
what he brings to her that wouldhave her to change.

SPEAKER_00 (28:36):
That's key.

SPEAKER_05 (28:37):
Because it's what you bring to me that's gonna
make me want to change becausewomen change for men all day.
Yes, you know, that's true.
We could be one way and then wemeet somebody that just touched
the right toe and the right timeand and increased, and then you
are just a different person, youknow.
So the person I I am or was, I'mno longer because that person
makes me want to change.

(28:57):
It has happened, so it canhappen.
You know, I can I can change forsomebody because that's the
person that he brings so muchhappiness to me that whatever he
doesn't like of me, I'm willingto change that because that
person brings that muchhappiness to my door.
Why not?

SPEAKER_01 (29:14):
Yeah, yeah.
And like I like we're saying,even sometimes it doesn't take
the person, a person to make youchange.
Because as we grow, we changeanyway.
And we go to different phases ofour life.

SPEAKER_05 (29:25):
But would you change for that person?
Because you got you, you I I canlook at it like this.
Like, I love to party, right?
I've always been like that.
I love to party, I love to havea good time.
But if I meet and I'm withsomebody that says, babe, you
know what?
I don't want you outside likethat.
I want you there.
Would I change?
Absolutely.

(29:46):
Because that person brings somuch joy to my life that I don't
need to be outside.
I don't need to go there, and Idon't need to do that.
He's content with me being home,and I'm content with being with
him.

SPEAKER_01 (29:56):
Um I understand that, but I just don't define it
as me changing for the Person, Ithink it's half and half.
It's me changing and me wantingto change to be something better
myself.
You wanted to change that forfashion.
Just bought it out into you.
Yes.
That's that's yeah.
I think that's a betterdefinition.

SPEAKER_05 (30:10):
I wanted to change, and that person just brought
that out in me.
So it makes, you know, I'm notsure.

SPEAKER_03 (30:15):
And that's how that's how it happened.
That's how it happens when youyou want to find a reason to.
I remember years back, I wantedto find a reason to stop
drinking.
I always I used to, I was like,yo, man, I wish the doctor told
me something.
Not that I'm gonna, you know,passing away or nothing, but
like say, like, my liver's badand you gotta stop.
And then um it never happened.
This is over, this was this wasover ten years ago.

(30:37):
I would wanted the doctor totell me something.
But it just so happened thatsomething else happened, like
far as my weight.
The doctor had said to me, hesaid, okay, Lamar, you gotta do
something about your weight.
You gotta do something aboutyour weight.
And you need to lower this andlower that.
So I say, you know what?
That's how I found my out indrinking.

SPEAKER_01 (30:55):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (30:56):
I had I said, let me stop drinking, because I'm I'm
all that calories is reallymessing me up.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
And then that was a reason,yeah.
That's like you said, you'llfind a reason.

SPEAKER_01 (31:04):
Yeah.
And you wanted you wanted thatchange.
That changed you from within.

SPEAKER_03 (31:07):
Yeah, you wanted it, but you know.
And the doctor just helped youalong that along those lines.

SPEAKER_01 (31:12):
Push you along to the to the destination where you
wanted to go anyway.

SPEAKER_03 (31:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (31:16):
So even if it wasn't for that doctor, you still would
have found a way to stopdrinking.
That's how I feel about it.
Yeah, eventually.
Yeah, eventually.

SPEAKER_03 (31:21):
It would have been it would have been probably took
a little bit of time.

SPEAKER_05 (31:24):
Well, you know, but something else too.
Men, men nowadays, I'm the onlyfemale here, so you know, don't
show me up.

SPEAKER_01 (31:29):
We're gonna take it easy.

SPEAKER_05 (31:30):
Um so now men nowadays, especially like in the
dating scene, some of these menare very aggressive of how they
come across and how they, youknow, how they deal with
females.
And so it's it's it could it'skind of like disheartening kind
of a little bit because you knowyou're coming off so aggressive.
And I feel like you're a grownman.

(31:52):
You don't need to come, youdon't, you've had plenty of sex.
Oh, you should have, at least atthe age that you are.
So you don't need to be soaggressive, you know, nowadays
in dynamics when you when you're40 plus and you meet and you
meet a woman, you don't need tobe aggressive.
You don't need to talk about sexall day, every day.
You don't need to do that.

(32:13):
You you already did this.
So, you know, it's kind of, youknow, for for women that are
single or or women that aredating or looking or whatever
the case may be, you could justbe your regular self.
You come to the table withsomething, you're coming off
very aggressive.
And that's what I wanted to likedive into a little bit.
The aggressiveness out therenowadays, you know, when you

(32:35):
meet a man.
Oh, so you single?
Yeah, okay, or you talking tosomebody, yeah.
Well, why he not here with you?
So since he's not here with you,so you know, let me get your
number, and you know, theaggression.
It's like, okay, dude, relax.

SPEAKER_01 (32:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I don't understand.
Like I said, the world changedso much from where we came up.

SPEAKER_05 (32:55):
You know, we was more and it's not that many men
out here.

SPEAKER_01 (32:58):
Yeah, mine could elaborate with weakness.

SPEAKER_05 (32:59):
We don't have much choice.

SPEAKER_01 (33:00):
We was more of the lyrical game, right?
Yeah.
You try to finesse her verbally.

SPEAKER_02 (33:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (33:05):
You understand?
But now things have changed,that that's thrown out the
window.
And like you said, I can'tunderstand it because I see it
myself.
Because I I work in a highschool with high school kids and
the bluntness that the guys comeacross to these girls, and these
girls eat it up.
And I I just can't I can'tbelieve it.
You know, it's it's it'sbasically like, you know, that's

(33:27):
fuck.
Excuse me.
You know what I'm like?
Yeah, yeah.
You know, and and but you wouldthink, you know, when we was
growing up, if a guy came acrossa girl like that, he would get
cursed out, and the the girlprobably get her brothers and
cousins to come beat the dude upafter that.
But right now, I think it's theopposite.
I think if you come like that tocertain girls, they think you're
a bust or they think you're aweak and they don't pay you any

(33:48):
mind.
I think the game just flipped.

SPEAKER_03 (33:50):
You know, I'm gonna tell you something.
I was gonna tell y'all somethingin the chat, and I we have a
little group chat, and I wasgonna I was gonna tell y'all a
situation.
I this person, uh, a homegirlknows me, she calls me, right?
She knows my fiance, soeverybody we know each other.
It ain't like that, y'all.
So she was telling me about umthis dude that every time she'll
get in a train, like for thelast three weeks, there'll

(34:10):
they'll be you know engaging eyecontact, right?
And then one day she said, Allright, the next time we see each
other, we're gonna exchangenumbers.

SPEAKER_01 (34:18):
So she said it to herself.

SPEAKER_03 (34:20):
To him.

SPEAKER_01 (34:20):
Oh, wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (34:21):
I think I said it was leading.

SPEAKER_01 (34:23):
Wow, yeah, that sounds crazy, right?

SPEAKER_03 (34:26):
Um, it was a Friday.
They exchanged numbers.
She saw him, they exchangednumbers by Sunday he sending her
private pics.

SPEAKER_00 (34:37):
That's a new shit.

SPEAKER_03 (34:39):
I'm like, I'm like, what?
And then she but she well, butshe's but she but now this was
like this was like Monday orTuesday, she was telling me
this.
I'm like, I said, what are youtelling me this?

SPEAKER_01 (34:50):
Did she repost?

SPEAKER_05 (34:51):
No, I'm like, I'm like why is she even going up to
saying I'm gonna make you mynumber in a couple of things?
Yeah, but that's because now youjust gave her open to like you
thirsty.

SPEAKER_03 (35:00):
Because she's she says that she said this is
common, Mike.
I've tested that.
This is common, but I'm like,wait a minute.
So hold on.
I said, it's even it's even it'sit's worse for you even telling
me this that you'd even what'sworse is she's not repulsed by
the whole thing.
Yeah, yeah, that that you thatthis is okay with you.

SPEAKER_01 (35:16):
Yeah, you're talking about how old is this young
lady?
She's grown.

SPEAKER_03 (35:19):
She's grown.
That's what I'm telling you.
Oh, I think because he went toprison.
I said, what?
I said, why are you justifyingthis?
Yeah, why are you justifyingthis?
I said, yo, listen, you'regetting me upset, man.
You getting me upset.

SPEAKER_01 (35:34):
At my point, many women do.
She likes it.

SPEAKER_05 (35:38):
But no, it's it's a turn off to me personally.
I like to be in my own.

SPEAKER_01 (35:42):
But we're the minority when it comes to things
like that, though.

SPEAKER_05 (35:45):
I'm I and you know what?
I'd rather be coin because I Igot dissed, you know, a couple
of times because I'm just like,I'm okay.
You know, if I tell you I I gotsomebody or whatever the
situation may be, just leave it,just leave it be.
The person don't have to bestanding by me.
He does not have to stand withme or stand on my side or be

(36:05):
with me every moment.
If I tell you that I'm withsomebody, respect that game and
let it be.
If I tell you I'm single,respect that game and let it be.
Single does not mean an openinvitation to come and talk to
me every single time you see meor want to know whatever.
If I tell you I'm with somebody,just leave it alone.
They're too aggressive for me.
And then it's like, you know,what do you have?

(36:27):
What do you have?
You don't have nothing.
You don't have nothing.
But you want to know mycredentials.
I'm I'm I I take care of me.
I take care of me, and I'm I'mwell capable of taking care of
me.
And for me to even engage in aconversation with you, that
means I want more from you.
You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 (36:45):
I just, I just and and do these guys offer any
verbal stimulation?

SPEAKER_05 (36:49):
No, that's the thing, is that these guys
nowadays they don't know how totalk to females.
They don't, they're notintellectual at all.
They don't know how to strike aconversation, they don't know
how to take people out or get toknow them.
And you know, it's just reallylike you just want one thing.
And I'm just saying, grownwomen, I'm talking to the
viewers out there, grown women,40 plus, you shouldn't want more

(37:13):
than just to come to your housethat you work hard and you built
or you did whatever you did tojust come and sit in your house.
You should wish you should wantmore than that.
You know, nobody wants to takethe time out to say, let me take
her out to dinner, let me have aconversation, let's talk about
something else.
What's going on in today'ssociety?
Maybe the news, you know, maybean article or something.

(37:37):
Let me get to know her.
You don't want to talk aboutnothing.
You want to know, am I driving?
You want to know, do I have myown place?
You want to come by, you want tocome sit on my couch, you want
to come and lay on my bed.
Give me something more.
You should want more.
You should want more.

SPEAKER_01 (37:52):
But on the.
But on the other side, I seen afew instances where um I there's
a few guys that might meet agirl and offer to take her out,
and then she agrees.
And if he takes her toApplebee's, then she's online
dissing him.
Saying that there's a lot ofpeople.
But then you should you shouldyou should want more than
Applebee's to more thanApplebee's?

SPEAKER_00 (38:11):
He should have he should have a cheesecake
factory.
That'll things that are legit.

SPEAKER_05 (38:15):
He should have more to say than that.
Now, it all depends on theconversation.
I'm gonna say, I don't thinkthat he's cheap because he took
you to Applebee's or he tookyou.
I don't, even if it was a thing,I don't think it's cheap.

SPEAKER_03 (38:26):
You gonna get out the car?

SPEAKER_05 (38:27):
Excuse me?

SPEAKER_03 (38:27):
Oh, you get out in the car.
If he drives up, Applebee's hasan extended menu.

SPEAKER_01 (38:30):
You could get this.

SPEAKER_03 (38:31):
Would you get out the car?

SPEAKER_05 (38:34):
She ain't getting out of the car factories.
No, no, that's no, that's notwhat I'm saying.
What I am saying is that by theconversation, he should know the
level as to where you want tobe.
So it's nothing wrong with himtaking me to Applebee's, and
maybe I would get out the car,Monty, to be fair.
Maybe I would get out the car,but that has to be in the
conversation of I know I'm allright with that.

(38:55):
Like I'm cool with that.
Because there's nothing wrongwith we probably just go in and
watch a game and talk and justknow each other.
So I'm a full ways, yeah.
That doesn't mean that he's nota man, his pocket is not full,
and he's not good and notwilling to take care of his
house and his home andeverything.
But he doesn't have to take meto um, you know, the state place
or whatever on the that doesn'treally mean that he's not well

(39:18):
off or he's not good.
I just feel like they don't evenmake the effort.
Everybody just want to know, oh,you look good, or you a pretty
girl, or you know, you sexy andall of this.
Okay, all right.
What's what's more beyond that?
What's what's more beyond that?

SPEAKER_03 (39:33):
I mean, before I was in this relationship, long-term
relationship, I I never was Inever was that guy taking a
chick to no fancy places.
Never.
Never.
I was never it's like that wasnot if that's not a place I'm
comfortable at, I won't, Iwon't, you know, like you
dragging me out of my water, youknow what I'm saying?
It's not that's not that's notwhere I'll be at.
It's like if I want to take youto a bar, yeah, or take you to a

(39:54):
party, things I do.

SPEAKER_01 (39:55):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05 (39:56):
And then remember, your first impression sometimes
is what the person wants all thetime.
So I feel like, you know what,if if you take her to a high
class and place, you gotta keepthat up all the time.
And I'm gonna say that, youknow, in in multiple times.
Even if, even if you went outand you went to, you went out

(40:17):
and you guys decide to sleeptogether, whatever your case may
be, and he took you now.
You took me to uh a hotel andit's it's an upgraded hotel.
I want that all the time.
You could never go back and tellme you don't have it or you had
a downtime.
I'm just saying, or you have adown moment and now you want to
take me to a low gradesomething.

SPEAKER_01 (40:38):
People that's an unreal expectation.

SPEAKER_05 (40:40):
But I'm just no, I'm just telling you how female
would think.
If you started off this way,that's the way that I would want
you to continue.
Because she's gonna judge youoff of the fact that listen, I
first met him and he took mehere and he took me here.
Now you want to downgrade it,and now you want to take me here
and there because you're tellingme you're going through hard
times.
She's not interested in that.

(41:01):
She's not interested in thatbecause how you came the first
time is how she wants you allthe time.
Just keep a conversation, whichmost men don't know how to do
nowadays.
They don't know how to have aconversation to even get to know
you.
A man don't get to know you, aman don't is not interested.
What he wants to know is do youhave your own crib?

(41:22):
Because I want to come and sitby you and I want to come and
lay down, and you come and youopen your door, and there it is.
That's all that.

SPEAKER_01 (41:29):
I think it goes both ways.
I think that same woman wants toknow if you how much you make in
a year, what kind of car youdrive.
I don't want to I don't want toknow.
I'm not talking about you ingeneral, but I think.

SPEAKER_05 (41:37):
No, I'm just saying I wouldn't want to know what
you're making and all of that onthe first, but I would like to
know that you have a job.
Yes.
That is that's part of aconversation.
What is your occupation?
You can ask me mine, I can askyou yours.

SPEAKER_01 (41:53):
But I think the women now have a standard now.
Like, oh, you work on thestreet.
Well, you need to have a job.
Yeah, you know, not the job isnot the standard.
They want six figures now.

unknown (42:02):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (42:03):
You understand?
That's something tell you theworld has changed.
The world has changed, yes.

SPEAKER_05 (42:08):
And and women's expectation is higher.
Men's expectation is higher, andand that's just the world that
we're living in.

SPEAKER_01 (42:15):
Not really, though.
I don't think men's expectationsare higher.
We don't have high expectations.
I think the women's expectationsare higher.

SPEAKER_03 (42:20):
We don't have high expectations.
You know, we don't even care.
We care if she's working, but wedon't care really what type of.

SPEAKER_05 (42:26):
Well, you may not care because you're trying to
bang her, but it's not her foryour wife.
You want to know you want toknow where she's at financially.
Can she meet you halfway?
Let me tell you something.
It always takes situations inlife, and I'm gonna tell, I'm
gonna say that very bluntly.
When you meet a female andsomething happens in your life,
right?
You could have met somebody andsomething happened in your life.

(42:48):
You always gonna know if a womanis really loves you or really
cares about you or really willbe a good woman for you if she
supports you through all thatyou're going through.
That means that means that womanis gonna be there for your down
and she's gonna be there foryour high.
And I can be there when you'rescraping up grass off the floor
and when you're building thisbig house.

(43:09):
And you always gonna know that.
And if a woman hesitate or shegives you excuses, or she tells
you she's not gonna be there forthe greater when you're down,
she's not gonna be there, sorry,when you're down.
She only wants to be there forthe high.
Because she only likes what youbring to the table.
She doesn't bring if you aren'table to keep that, she she's not
interested.

SPEAKER_03 (43:29):
Some of the times.

SPEAKER_05 (43:31):
All of the time, Monty.

SPEAKER_03 (43:32):
Not all the time.
You don't gotta be on 100% forthe woman they really care about
you.
You could be on 30 and she'sstill.

SPEAKER_05 (43:37):
No, that's not saying you're always gonna know
when a woman, that was what Isaid.
Oh, sorry, you're always gonnaknow when a woman really cares
about you, really going to loveyou or love you, depending on
your situation.
When something happens in yourlife, right, and she's still
rocking with you and is willingto figure it out with you, and

(43:58):
let's make it happen and let'sdo that.
You know that that is a womanthat is your ride or die.
You know that's a woman that'sgonna be with you no matter
what.
Not a woman waiting for you tobuild that mansion, waiting for
you to have the car, waiting foryou to have that.
That's when she wants to rockwith you.
Then you know that she's onlythere for you for what you have.

(44:18):
That's what it is.
That's a fact.

SPEAKER_01 (44:20):
But but not every man wants that.

SPEAKER_05 (44:22):
Right.
Not every man wants that.

SPEAKER_01 (44:23):
That is absolutely some women would do all of that,
and he'll take the help whilehe's down, and then when he gets
up, he wants something else.
He'll want something else.

SPEAKER_05 (44:32):
Uh you know, and that's when women turn a little
psychotic.

SPEAKER_01 (44:36):
Of course, of course, of course.
There's a movie about it, theTyler Perry ward.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the Tyler Perry.

SPEAKER_05 (44:43):
Because it's like you was with me, I was with you
when you was down, and I heldyou down, and I'm there with
you.
And the minute you got up now,and you in a certain place, you
going on to somebody else.
She's gonna flip a screw.

SPEAKER_01 (44:54):
But it goes both ways.
Women do that to mention.
Women do that too.
And then the men flip a screw.

SPEAKER_05 (44:58):
So it does go both ways.

SPEAKER_01 (45:00):
Yeah, yeah.
It all leads to trauma,emotional trauma.

SPEAKER_03 (45:03):
It's a greasy.
It's a greasy game out here,man.
It's a greasy game, I think.

SPEAKER_01 (45:05):
It's a greasy game, especially now these days.

SPEAKER_03 (45:08):
You know, you know, it's like um sometime you damn
if you do, damn it if you don't.
Things can happen, thingshappen, man.
But let's get back intoexpectations.
Like, men, we don't we don'thave high expectations when it
comes to to women.

SPEAKER_00 (45:21):
It depends to marry high expectations.

SPEAKER_03 (45:24):
To marry, to marry?

SPEAKER_00 (45:26):
I have very high expectations on board.

SPEAKER_01 (45:28):
Marry somebody?

SPEAKER_03 (45:29):
I think you should, Monty.
I mean, I mean, no, I mean, no,I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 (45:33):
I mean, if you when I talk about monetary, I'm not
talking about monetary.

SPEAKER_03 (45:37):
No, no.
Do you see okay?
Let's let's weigh this.
When women say expectations,they're always talking about
financial.

SPEAKER_01 (45:45):
That's what from a woman's perspective.

SPEAKER_03 (45:47):
Yeah, but men, expectations is is is Monty.
I'm I'm talking about from howwomen think women anytime they
come to work, expectations, it'smoney.

SPEAKER_05 (45:56):
Monty.

SPEAKER_03 (45:58):
What do you think, Still?
Majority-wise independently.
70-30, 70-30-wise money.
For men, expectations is thecook, clean, and boom, boom,
bam.
That's 70-30 for us.
60-40.

SPEAKER_01 (46:13):
I could, I could, I I could agree.
I could agree.
I could agree.
I could agree.
I could see you itching thesame.

SPEAKER_05 (46:24):
I don't have anything.
I don't have anything that Ijust say to marry somebody.
If I'm if I'm gonna marrysomeone, it's it's not always
about financial.
To me, I'm only speaking toabout me, women.
I'm not speaking.
The man has to have money, yes.
Or able to make money, or ableto provide, yes, but it's not
gonna make a break.

(46:45):
I'm looking at a man that'sgonna hold me down no matter
what, meaning that's gonna bethere with me through the good
and the bad.
That's gonna make me want tohave a husband.
That's gonna make me because Iknow that on my down this day,
this man held me down.
He was loving to me, he caredfor me.
He can see me without my weaveand he still loved me the same
way.

(47:05):
He can see me without and youcan see me without makeup and
you still love me the same way.
You can get up in the morningand I didn't just run to the
bathroom and brush my teeth andgoggle and you still kiss me the
same way.
That's a man that I want by myside.
When I'm sick, he's stillcarrying me to the bathroom, he
still bathed me.
He looks at all the intricatedetails about me, and he still

(47:26):
loves me.
That is a man that I would loveand I would do anything for, and
I would get up and I would doit.
He says, Snap, I'm running,because you know what?
He got me.
So I'm always gonna have him.
That's me.

SPEAKER_01 (47:39):
You're fighting for something every other woman in
the world is fighting for, andthey're very limited.

SPEAKER_05 (47:43):
It's limited.
It is I would say it is limited,but if I if you find that, that
is a man that you want to beyour husband because that means
he loves you just for who youare.
You know, there are women.
I went to school with a girlwhen I was in college, and this
girl always came in a prettygirl, always came in makeup,
flesh, all.
And I used to be like, well,damn, she takes so much time.

(48:06):
You know, it was so like makeup,bam, heels, all of this other
stuff.
Mind you, I'm coming to schoolin sweatpants and I'm coming in
sneakers because you know, it'sit's school.
We in college, you know?
And she did all of that.
And one day we went to her houseto study, and she literally had
us outside for a minute becauseshe had to put on a whole bang
of makeup to open her door.

(48:28):
You know, when you went wentinside her door, I had no place
to sit.
You know?
But here's a girl that's bangedout, you know, all of this stuff
all the way.
With a mask.
You know, so it's like you puton a mask.
And if a man can love youwithout that mask, that is a man
that you want.
And and and a woman can say whatthey want, but that's a man that

(48:49):
I would want.
If I can take my wig off and Ican rest it on the on the thing
and he don't care, that's a manthat I want.

SPEAKER_01 (48:56):
Sherry, and what if he does that, but he has a
mediocre job and he's strugglingto get by?

SPEAKER_05 (49:00):
We'll be okay.
We will be okay.

SPEAKER_01 (49:03):
I think it's different.

SPEAKER_05 (49:05):
I'm gonna ride with him.
It doesn't matter.
If he, if he, if I have$100 andhe got$20, we got$125 and we're
gonna figure it out.

SPEAKER_03 (49:14):
Because I think what you're saying, Sherry, when
you're saying, when you'resaying you want to marry money,
I just knowing who you are, tohow how how I got gained to know
you.
No, no, no.
What I'm saying is that you'renot talking about the guy gotta
be super rich.
You just like he gotta havesomething.

SPEAKER_05 (49:25):
He gotta have something because we both gotta
make it out here.

SPEAKER_03 (49:29):
Right, right.

SPEAKER_05 (49:30):
That's all I'm saying.
I'm not I'm not saying anything.
I I want a man that's gonna be aman and he's gonna lead, because
my man has to lead thehousehold.
That's just how it is.
Okay.
That's how it is.

SPEAKER_01 (49:41):
What if he has that and he has money, but he's not
so easy on the eyes?
Would are you willing to lookpast that also?
There's there's many differentthings that come with it.

SPEAKER_05 (49:48):
So I'm I'm gonna be real.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be very honest.
There's a lot of men that hasliked me, and they were not easy
on the eyes.
They were well off and they weregood, and I did not give them a
chance.

SPEAKER_01 (50:00):
Do you do you would you still do the same thing now?

SPEAKER_05 (50:02):
Did you would I do the same thing?

SPEAKER_01 (50:05):
Yeah, a man that um is well off.

SPEAKER_05 (50:08):
I have to be attracted to you.
So if I'm not attracted to you,no.

SPEAKER_01 (50:13):
So you're willing to let that guy, that that, that
dream guy you're talking about.
No, you're willing to let thatguy.
You're not the guy's guy.
The guy who's running for you,the guy is that's gonna do all
of that.

SPEAKER_05 (50:22):
But I'm saying you can find that same thing.
But doesn't love you?
No, we didn't talk about the yousaid if a man is not easier, and
I said I have to be attracted toyou.
So the man that I'm attracted tocan still be the loving man
that's doing all of those stuff.

SPEAKER_01 (50:36):
Uh I think they tend not to.

SPEAKER_05 (50:38):
Yes, they do.
Because I yes, they do, becauseI I can say that.
I can speak and say, yes, thereare men that can love you and be
there for you and be supportiveand love you with all of those
things that that have and isvery handsome as well.

SPEAKER_01 (50:54):
Man, do you think uh who you think will love you
better, man?
Question for man.
Ugly woman or attractive woman?
Who you think would love youmore?

SPEAKER_03 (51:02):
Who love me more?

SPEAKER_01 (51:03):
Yeah.
In general, who would love youharder?
An attractive woman or uglywoman?
It's a scientific fact that uglywomen love.

SPEAKER_03 (51:12):
I'll tell you, I'll tell you this.
I tell you this.
They'll probably love me thesame, but the but uh but an
unattractive woman would woulddo more.
That's my point.
But you know what the game is.
You know what?
Wait, say the seven minutes.
Say the pretty girl would doseven things in a day.
No, no, no, no, no.
You know what?
Farrest, you're saying that umwho would do more?

(51:36):
Ugly woman or um I say I saylike this, right?
They'll love me the same, but Ithink the the unattractive woman
would do 25 things in that oneday, and uh attractive woman
would probably do seven things.

SPEAKER_05 (51:48):
Then I don't think that you know about love.

SPEAKER_01 (51:52):
What him knowing about love has to do with it?

SPEAKER_05 (51:54):
Because if when a woman loves a man, there's
nothing that she wouldn't do forher do for her man.
So don't tell me that's what Ithink.
No, that's not true.

SPEAKER_01 (52:01):
So women have standards.

SPEAKER_05 (52:03):
No, I'm saying I'm I'm speaking about me.
I think I'm an attractive woman.
I think I'm a very attractivewoman.
I think I can hold a couple ofeyes well.

SPEAKER_02 (52:11):
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (52:12):
And if I love you, there ain't nothing that I
wouldn't do for you.
Nothing.
There's not there is nothing.
Okay, I'm gonna ask you aquestion.
He gets sick.

SPEAKER_03 (52:19):
If he gets sick, you're gonna clean his ass.

SPEAKER_05 (52:20):
That's you damn right.

SPEAKER_03 (52:22):
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (52:23):
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you because I
love you, because I see pastthat.
If I love you, there's nothingthat wouldn't go.
If I have to clean up after you,if I have to clean your vomit, I
gotta wipe your ass, I gottafeed you, I gotta do it, I'm
gonna scrape it.
If I gotta get up and thenstroke you, because that's
what's gonna make you happy.
I'm gonna do that because I loveyou.

SPEAKER_01 (52:41):
I understand, but that's you.
That's just you.

SPEAKER_05 (52:43):
But then you so then we can't, there are women that
like that, that's that's outthere like me.
You cannot say because there's alot of attractive women that
when they find love or there'ssomebody that got to them to
that level.
Sterling.
I don't know.
I just don't think there's a lotmore.

SPEAKER_01 (52:58):
I think.

SPEAKER_05 (53:00):
There's not a lot of women out there.
I'm just saying when a womanloves a man, that's what I'm
talking about.
I'm not I'm just saying when awoman loves a man or a man got
into a woman to the point wherewhen she sees that man, her eyes
lit up.
So there's nothing that Iwouldn't do for you.
There's nothing.
There's something about you thatwill make me go hard for you,

(53:20):
regardless.
Okay, I think this is- I'm gonnaargue for him, I will fight for
him, I'm gonna do what I gottado because I love this man.

SPEAKER_01 (53:26):
This is where we're where we're not getting it right
now.
You said you see love.
I don't think women nowadays seelove.
That's my point.

SPEAKER_05 (53:34):
Well, what is the man doing that's that's not
making them see love?

SPEAKER_01 (53:37):
I mean, that that's a whole other part of it.

SPEAKER_05 (53:39):
Okay, then because you gotta make a woman see love
for her to get her to thatlevel.

SPEAKER_01 (53:44):
So when we think about it, some women are raised
not to see love.
You understand?
That's a whole other subject.

SPEAKER_05 (53:50):
That's a whole other subject.
But if if you do find love outthere, I feel like you can't
love somebody whether he'sdoesn't, whether he's not
financially equipped or whateverthe case may be, because no one
can tell you what.
And I don't like when peopletell you on the outside what to
do in your relationship and whatbecause when you close the door,
they're doing that shit.
So don't tell me what to do.

(54:11):
Oh don't tell me not to love himor not to feed him or not to be
with him or leave him becausehe's cheating.
Don't tell me what to do becausewhen the door's closed, you
don't cried four times and yousaying, Oh, but baby, I love
you.
So don't tell me not to.

SPEAKER_01 (54:26):
Oh, yeah, you'll be a fool to take marital advice
from people.
Don't take advice from nobodyrelationship.

SPEAKER_05 (54:30):
Figure out your stuff for yourself.
Close your door and figure itout.
Talk to yourself, talk to God,talk to whoever you gotta talk
to, but don't listen to yourfriends, don't listen to anybody
because behind closed doors,they're doing the opposite of
what they're telling you.
Some people love to see yourdownfall, and people love to
tell you don't love him, hebroke, don't love him, he's
cheating on you, don't love himis this and that.

(54:52):
But when he touch you, shedoesn't, he doesn't make you
feel, he makes you feel acertain way.
So do what you gotta do becausethat's what makes you happy.

SPEAKER_01 (55:01):
I concur with that.
Me too with that statement.
You understand?

SPEAKER_05 (55:04):
Don't do that.

SPEAKER_04 (55:04):
That is I I agree.
I agree, I agree, you know.

SPEAKER_01 (55:07):
And I also think people in relationships should
only carry themselves aroundother people in relationships.
Like married people, I believe,should hang out with other
married people.
I don't believe married peoplecan hang out with single people.

SPEAKER_05 (55:20):
I don't I don't think so because as a couple.
No, I well maybe as a couple,but what I think, because I'm
I'm single and I would love tobe around married people because
I know that's that's the that'swhere I want to be.

SPEAKER_01 (55:30):
Me saying that didn't consider you single.
Well, I'm just saying I I wannabe.

SPEAKER_05 (55:34):
So I'm leading by watching how people are in
relationships and sometimestaking a step back and say, why
isn't things working out in thedirection that I wanted to work
out?
So I love to look at othermarried couples, especially
married couples within my peers,because that inspired me to
learn some things to put me in adirection to be in that

(55:55):
one-on-one relationship, marriedcouple.
So some of us that are single,that are not married, you could
be in a relationship, but onceyou're not married, you are
considered single.
One to look and see, well, Iwould love to be in that place
sometimes.
So you can hang out and learn.
It could be a learning.
Wasn't a shot against you.
No, no, no.
I'm not taking it as a shot.

(56:16):
I'm just saying that, justsaying that some single women,
it's a good thing.
I would love to hang aroundother married couples because
it's showing me that this iswhere I want to be and I can
learn some things because Idon't know it all.
Yeah, I don't know it all.

SPEAKER_03 (56:29):
But I was thinking Sterling was was was from the
perspective, I thought Sterlingwas talking about like his wife
hanging out with single girls orlike my fiance hanging out with
single girls.
That's what I thought it was.

SPEAKER_05 (56:40):
But well, no, but I'm I mean, I'm single and I'm
single and I can hang out withhis wife.
I know his wife.
But the thing about beingsingle, because I'ma just say
that my best friend is married.
My BFF is married.
I respect her husband very muchso.
And I'm a single girl.
But at the same time, when Iwalk around, I walk and I

(57:02):
respect her marriage.
I respect the fact that thisgirl is a married woman.
So if I if if I call her and Isay, let's go someplace, I
always tell her, and she couldconcur, girl, check and make
sure that it's okay with yourhusband.
Make sure that that is allright, that where we're going,
and that he's good with that.

(57:23):
Because at the end of the day, Irespect the friendship of my
friend.
You know, at the same fact thatmy friend respects my
relationship that I'm in.
So she's not gonna come and say,girl, I want you to go here
because my friend, my husband,friend is single and I think
that you need to be here.
She would never put me in thatsituation because she respects

(57:43):
the person that I'm with.
So, you know, it it's a matterof respect.
Question.
But we can hang.

SPEAKER_03 (57:49):
Question, question.
Sterling, how would you feelabout knowing that somebody's in
a relationship and you seeingthem going crazy?
Would you would you be aninformer?
Would you, how would you, howwould you look at them?

SPEAKER_01 (57:59):
In other words, the scenario if I got a homeboy and
I know his wife and I see hiswife out there doing dirt.
Yeah.
Basically, would I go back to myhomeboy and tell him?

SPEAKER_05 (58:07):
Yes, he wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 (58:08):
Never.
I would never do that.
That has dire consequences.
It could end up messing up withthe city.
She's still gonna be with you.
Because he might not be ready tohear it.
Oh, you mean you wouldn't tellhim?
I would not tell him.
It's not my business to tellhim.

SPEAKER_03 (58:21):
Still, so look.
So, so if if you see my fiancebugging, or if I let me tell you
something.
I'm gonna tell you something.
We I had I was I was talking toum be before actually.
I was I'm I'm telling you,listen, me personally, I'm not
trying to.
I'm telling.
I'm telling straight up.
But one time, it one timesomething like that did happen,

(58:42):
and I had told Lim, I told, butit wasn't Lim, it was uh one of
our homeboys, right?
And I said, yo, I said, I'matell him, I'ma tell him.
Lim say, yo, Mike, don't saynothing.

SPEAKER_01 (58:51):
I I believe in that.
Don't say nothing.
You may know already, and hemight be more embarrassed that
you find out now.

SPEAKER_03 (58:56):
Yeah, but nah, I wouldn't, I would.

SPEAKER_05 (59:02):
Weby else, because one, they don't necessarily
sometimes they don't believethat that is really happening.
And then it comes as a conflictas to so why he telling you
what's his story, or you know,they flip the scenario about
about the situation, and thenyour friendship is now
jeopardized because you feel asthough, you know, you know,

(59:24):
yeah, but then what you knowit's it's it's a tricky
interesting.

SPEAKER_03 (59:27):
Suppose it's a big argument come up and they be
like, Oh, yeah, well, the girlsays, Well, Sterling saw me with
him before, and that was acouple months ago.
Oh, word, Sterling saw anddidn't tell me.

SPEAKER_01 (59:40):
And I'd be like, Yeah, I saw it.
I didn't feel it was mybusiness.
Oh, sheesh.

SPEAKER_05 (59:47):
I feel like I feel like there's other ways to tell
you, there's other ways to letyour your best friend or whoever
knows that this stuff is goingwrong in the relationship
instead of going you knowforward and just.
In saying that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:00):
And I think it depends on who the person is and
how close they are to you, also.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:04):
So let me ask you a question.
What about if you know let metell you, this is exactly what
happened to me.
This has happened to me years, acouple years, a couple years
back, like 10 years ago.
One of my homeboys, we used togo down, it's gonna be funny
that he's gonna see this.
We went down to Philly, we usedto go to Philly and um party out
there.
And one of my boys, he starteddealing with a chick.

(01:00:24):
Right?
There's a whole group of them,but he started dealing with a
chick.
He started liking the chick alot.
However, however.
And then I went back out therewith my other homeboys, my
brother and and um a DJ, afamous DJ.
But we all wind up knowing eachother, but me, we all, me and
this side of the crew, we didn'thang out, all of us together.
So I was just made for crew tocrew.

(01:00:45):
So then now, but I know homeboyone was born for a while.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:49):
So now your other homeboy is the only one.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:51):
No, it's then now my homeboy number two, he winds up
born enough.
Yeah, but I didn't really know.
He called me.
He says, Yo, my.
I hate that.
And then he says, Don't tellhim.
He told me, don't tell numberone.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:06):
I don't understand why he put you into that.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:07):
So I say, yo, listen, this is how it's gonna
go.
This is this is how it's gonnago.
Listen, you got you got twooptions here, right?
I'm gonna tell you how it'sgonna work.
You got two options.
Either you, because they goteach other's number.
Either you gonna go tell them,or I'm gonna tell them.
So I'm gonna inform her, hey.
So they look, so they look.
So look.
I say yo, I say, yo, you got 30minutes, bro.

(01:01:30):
You got because it's a why isit's it's brows over hoes?
Why you why what what is this?
Why is she more important to whyis she more important than uh
than us?
And you know, but the thingabout is he knows my um homemade
number one, he knows he's outthere.
He's getting he's getting with alot of chicks, and uh homebrew
number two is getting with aplethora of chicks.
So why is it that?

(01:01:50):
Oh, don't tell.
What are we doing here?
But why do why would you feelthat he should tell?
Why is he telling me that?

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:57):
Why is it your obligation to tell?

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:59):
Yo, listen to me.
Why do you feel obligated totell you?
Call me Splinter.
I'm a rat.
Call me Splinter.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:04):
I feel like I no, I just feel like in relationship
it's just tricky because I'vebeen in a situation where you
know, you tell somebody, youtell a girl, like, listen, you
know what, your man is blah blahblah blah blah, and the girl
just like straight flip on youand then feel as though, like,
you know what, you, you the one,you come in between them and
blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah.

(01:02:25):
Me saying, listen, find out yourthings on your own, deal with
your things however you justdeal.
We're all grown, we're all grownadults.
Deal with it however you decideto do it.
What I am gonna do is be thefriend to support you along your
journey, whichever way you wantto go.
That's what I'm gonna do.
I'm just keeping it.
It's happened to me when I wasyounger, it happened to me when

(01:02:46):
I was younger, where you tellbecause you feel like yo, I'm
just this good friend, and I'mtelling this person, and you
know what a person did?
They flip the scenario.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:54):
And then so you're happy to tell me that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:55):
You wanna tell me that you're gonna be able to do
that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:58):
And she always did it.
No, sir, no, sir.
Deal with your stuff, yeah,figure out whatever you want to
figure out.
Do what I do.
Close your door, cry toyourself, cry to your pillow,
figure it out.
Whatever's going on in yourhousehold, I always say in
relationship, figure it out foryourself.
Deal with it yourself.
I've learned that the maturepart of me, the mature part of

(01:03:20):
me now, the older part of me,whatever I'm going on in
whatever relationship that I'min, I'm gonna deal with it and
figure it out for myself.
I don't need advice fromanybody.
I don't need to figure it outfrom anybody.
I don't need anything.
If I call you because I want tovent, or I figure out.
But I've learned a closed mouth,keep it wide.
Don't talk about yourrelationship.
I'll figure it out.
I'll talk to my pillow.

(01:03:40):
The pillow can't answer me.
That's all right.
I'm good.
That means I'm not crazy.
I'm just talking.
You know, because it becomes toomuch, Monty.
It becomes too much.
People get all involved, they gosay Monty said, and Monty said
it now, it just becomes like awhole controversy.
We don't it could spiral out ofcontrol.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:59):
Let me tell you where I won't tell.
Like, say, like, you're myhomegirl, you're my homeboy.
Now say you introduce me to yourman, and if I'm out and about
and I and I see him doing histhing, I wouldn't tell you.
Never.
But now if I see if if it's likeSterling and his his his
significant other, we're notgonna even say his wife, you'll
say like back in the day, hisgirl or something.
I'm telling him.

(01:04:19):
I'm telling him, I wouldn't, Iwould want him to tell me.
I would want him to tell me.

SPEAKER_05 (01:04:22):
Let me tell you, I know Sterling.
I'm I know Sterling's wife verywell.
And if I see Sterling doingsomething, I am eating, I I love
you.
I love his wife.
Ain't no problem.
I'm eating my chicken bowl andI'm minding my business.

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:38):
Yes, yeah, okay.
Vice versa.
What about if you see his wife?
Would you tell Sterling?

SPEAKER_05 (01:04:42):
I just I just finished it.
I know, I just said it.
Building bowl on this cast.
I know his wife.
I love her very much.
We get down good.
There's not a bad bone inanything.
If I see Sterling doingsomething that is inappropriate,
I am eating my chicken bone andI'm minding my bone.
But Monty's the opposite.
What if you see my wife?

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:02):
What if you see my wife?
What if you see my wife doingit?

SPEAKER_05 (01:05:06):
I hear you are saying it's a greasy day, but
I'm gonna see my cousin and Ilove him and I'm saying I'm
eating my chicken bone and I'mminding my.
Let me tell you something,Monty.
Let me tell you something.
No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:18):
I'm not saying you're greasy.

SPEAKER_05 (01:05:19):
No, but that's not that's not being greasy.
I don't know your fiance likethat or whatever, but I'm
minding my business.
If I see you, I'm minding mybusiness because you know at the
end of the day, at the end ofthe hour, whatever happens, you
two gotta figure it out.
You're gonna turn around andsay, Sherry Ann said, and Sherry
Ann, Sherry Baby, you know thatgirl, Sherry Babby.

(01:05:39):
Yeah, she came in there.
You know the no, because wheny'all make up, you know what
you're gonna remember?
The fact that I'm the one thatcame and said something.
I don't got time for that.
I'm minding my business.
What I would do as my cousin, Iwill pull him to the side as my
cousin, and I would say, Listen,you know, I seen you doing

(01:06:01):
something.
I don't think you should.
That's what I would say.
If I see his wife, I would say,girl, I don't like what I'm
seeing.
I don't think that that's cool,but girl, you gotta figure that
out.
That's what I would do.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:17):
But I'm not coming back and you know what I think
she might do to it, even if sheseen my wife, she wouldn't tell
me, but she'll throw me a hint.
Like you, you know, you maybeyou need to keep your eyes open
a little more.
Maybe you need to go to thatwall.
I think that's what she'll do,yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:29):
Listen, I think the comments for this topic right
here is gonna go crazy.
Because I believe if this is a aclose homeboy of mine, and if I
see his significant other outthere going crazy, and should
you tell him?
No.
I say yes.

(01:06:50):
I don't care, but I don't care.
I don't care what the I don'tcare what the outcome is.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:55):
It's just as dangerous as yeah, you ever
outside and you see a man and awoman arguing to get physical?
Would you intercede in that?
That's it's just a dangeroussituation.
You might think you're doing theright thing, and next thing you
know, they they both flip onyou.
It could you could even end upgetting hurt.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:10):
I'm just saying, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying
that your friend don't have theright to know.
I'm not saying that.
But what I am gonna say is thatI'm not gonna get involved in
people's relationship.
You don't know what's going on.
I'm not getting involved inthat.
It's happened to me, and I'mjust not doing that.
I don't want nobody in myrelationship.
Don't nobody come.
Sherry Barry is saying it on,don't nobody come and tell me

(01:07:30):
shice about my relationship.
If you see him, if you know him,and you see, don't tell me
because I'm telling you, I'mgonna come back.
I'm the type of girl, I'm gonnasay this person told me.
That's how I'm bringing it toyou.

SPEAKER_03 (01:07:43):
No, man.
She threw you under the box.
Hey, don't tell Sherry, y'all.
Don't tell Sherry Barry.
She let you know what she letyou know.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:50):
I'm letting you know straightforward.
But I'm saying, so-and-so saidthey saw so and da-da-da.
That's how I'm gonna say it.
I'm not gonna come and tell him,well, you know what?
The man on the corner on theroad said, This, I'm not doing
that.
We're not kids.
So just don't tell me nothing,and I can deal with that.
I'm good.

(01:08:10):
Because you know what?
What they what your what yourmother said or what your father
said, don't go looking fornothing.
Because when you go looking,when you find, you may not be
able to handle it.
Don't don't I don't want tolook.
I don't want to look.
I don't want to look.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:24):
One more subject before we go.
Speaking on that, piggybankingon that.
You're in the house with yoursignificant other wife,
boyfriend, cell phone is therein the room, their cell phone is
there, they're in the completelyin another room.
Would you look into their cellphone?

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:42):
I'm not looking.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:43):
No, I don't, I don't do that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:44):
I'm not looking.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:45):
I'll leave my phone out.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:46):
If you look, I'll probably turn a size zero.
I'm not looking because I'm I'ma I'm a jealous female.
Elaborate why?

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:54):
Elaborate why you wouldn't look.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:55):
I'm a jealous female to a certain extent.
And it could be, like we said,text can be misconstrued.
A lot of things can bemisconstrued.
I'm not looking.
I'm gonna now dictate.
Well, why you call you callJoanne at Pandora's time?
Now, why did you call backJoanne at this time?
Now I'm trying to figure out I'man overthinker.

(01:09:16):
So I'm not gonna sit here andtry to bust my brain and try to
figure out everything that'sgoing on in the phone and
create, and it could be nothing,but then my brain cell already
went over went through.
So you know what?
What I don't know is not gonnahurt me.
And I just I just go by that.
Keep me in the keep me inlullaby land, keep me, keep me
in lullaby land.

(01:09:37):
Because that's gonna keep meloving you.
Because I'm telling you, theminute I start to know the love
is just gonna start going flip,flip, flop.
I'm not, it's not gonna be thesame.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:46):
Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:46):
So keep me happy.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:47):
Okay, okay, okay, I hear that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:49):
Sherry Ann, keep me happy.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:50):
What about you, Mike?

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:52):
I mean, no, I don't go through phones.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:54):
I'm not saying you did it before.
Would you do it?

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:56):
No, I would never do it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:58):
You would never?

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:59):
No, I wouldn't do it.
If it's time for me to gothrough your phone, it's time
for me to cut you off.
That's how I live.
If if if I don't trust you, it'slike that's it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:07):
And trust is a big it trust is a big thing, Sterl.
Trust is a big thing.
And I I and I'm just gonna I'mI'm gonna end it on this, like
in relationships, when you gothrough and you go through all
this stuff.
If you decide, if you did it andyou did it, but if you decide to
mend and you decide to be, justlearn to learn to trust your
partner and go with the flow.
And if your gut feeling istelling you that this is not the

(01:10:29):
one, walk away.
Yeah, because it's just gonnacreate a lot of drama and
unnecessary stress.
Stress kills people.
Stress kills.
And we're not gonna sit here andstress and figure out what she
is and what she's not doing orwhat he's doing and what he's
not doing.
I want to love the person thatI'm with, and when I'm with him,
I don't I don't want to thinkabout another female was with

(01:10:49):
him.
I really don't.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:50):
I love my wife, but if that phone there, I go and
chew it.
You can ask me, you can open upmy phone in front of me.

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:59):
Yeah, if you could.
Curiosity.
Yeah, I did it.
You can open up your phone, yes.
You can ask me to open up thephone, you could do it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:04):
No, I'm looking at it when you're not here.
I'm not asking you to opennothing.
If it's there, that I could gothrough.
I'm gonna look through it.
That's me.
That's that's me.
I come I come from a jealousbackground.
The men of the men in my familyhave always been jealous.
My father's like that.
It's like I think it's somethinginstilled me that I can't help.
I'm I'm gonna look through thatphone.

SPEAKER_03 (01:11:23):
See, the thing about it is I'm I'm I I could get
brutal, not physically brutal.
Like back in the day, if Ithought somebody was cheating on
me, which I did think, sorry, Icouldn't prove it.
I would in my mind, I wouldcheck myself, I'd say for every
one guy she was sleeping with,I'm gonna sleep 15 to 20.
That's what I used to do.
And then just for having thatlittle gray area where you

(01:11:45):
could, or or or you're notanswering me, giving me this
answer, like you're younger,like, yo, where were you?
No, I was there then.
You're not answering meproperly, you know what I mean?
You know, you I know where youwas at, but like just be honest.

SPEAKER_05 (01:11:59):
I I would say to women, or over weekend on that,
when if a man wants to gothrough your phone, I've been in
a situation where I fought itand I was like, no, da-da-da,
and it caused conflict and alsolooking, there's things that the
men want.
If you love your man and youreally care about your
relationship, then your my phoneis an open book.

(01:12:19):
He can go through my phone atany given time.
I can rest my phone down, he cananswer my phone.
Anybody that answers that phone,he should not have a problem
with just saying hello and beingit because it's it's supposed to
be platonic and he shouldn'thave an issue with anything.
Especially if you had conflictregarding your phone before and
you know how he feels aboutsomething.
If you continue that pattern,then you gotta let her go.

(01:12:41):
So I feel like, you know, justyou can go through my phone, you
can look through my text, youcan do that because there's
nothing going on in that phonethat should make you think
otherwise.
Yeah.
And if you have to hesitate atthis stage in your game, at this
point, woman, then then you'renot really wanting to be in a
relationship or you really don'twant.
And I'm only speaking from apoint of if your phone gave you

(01:13:03):
problems before, and that personis speaking to you or talking to
you or trying to work things outwith you, or whatever your
situation may be, don't hesitatefor him and say, like, hey, I
want to see your phone, give himyour phone.
If you don't got nothing goingon, give him your phone.
What's the big deal?
Yeah, because what's the bigdeal?

SPEAKER_01 (01:13:20):
Let me let me tell y'all something that's for the
people out there.
For me, I love my wife to thatto know, but to me, there's no
such thing as 100% trust thatdoesn't live in my yeah, it
doesn't live in my world.
100% trust only sets you up forfailure.
For failure.
You understand?
So there's no there's no 100%trust.

(01:13:41):
I don't trust you 100%.
I'm going if you leave yourphone, there's a situation.
This is a situation.
I'm not gonna scheme, but if youhappen to leave your phone there
in the phone, there ain't a roomon the phone, I picking up the
phone and I opened in that phoneand I'm looking.
That's if you have a password, Idon't know.
I'll I'll make I'll figure outtry to figure out a few things.
Yeah, but I'm gonna look.
I'm not gonna sit here and say,no, I'm not gonna look.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:01):
No, I'm gonna look.
Me personally, I tell you this,people.
If if you as a woman you allowyour man to like go through your
phone like you right there, Idon't care.
Hey, go ahead, go through myphone.
Or or or vice versa, whenthey've like right there.
Not like what you're talkingabout, still and like picking it
up or whatever.
But if they if they put you onthe spot for you to that's not
good.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:20):
Somebody put you on the spot.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:21):
That relationship is over.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:22):
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
You're right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:23):
That relationship is over.
We're not talking about acasual, like, yo, boom, let me
see, nobody's around.
But if they making you do thatin front of them, and especially
if you ain't doing nothing, thatrelationship is done.
You don't waste your time, it'sover.
No growth.
You can't grow, yeah.
It's gonna be over within monthsor a year or two because look
where y'all at right now.
Well, look where you're at.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:41):
That's a deep lack of trust.

SPEAKER_05 (01:14:42):
But you but you know what?
I have to disagree becausesometimes I just feel like when
you when you're going throughstuff in a relationship,
remember, relationships you'regetting to know people, right?
You're getting to know stuff.
Just because he went throughyour phone doesn't mean that the
relationship is done or or orhe's asking to go through your
phone or whatever the case maybe.
You're getting to know the yourpartner.

(01:15:02):
Your partner is getting to know.
I feel my just my opinion, okay.
I feel like if it's a continuouspattern, if he's constantly like
looking through your phone orwhatever, that's done.
Because he doesn't have no hedoesn't have any kind of trust.
I would not, I would not saybecause he went through your
phone or whatever, or you know,whatever the situation may, that

(01:15:24):
relationship is on the verge ofbeing done or being done or
whatever.
He might have his reasoning inhis mind as to why he wants to
look through your phone and hewent through now.
If he constantly, every time,bust your phone open, or then
that relationship is done.
Because now you're walking onEdge Stone every minute, every
two seconds.
Every two seconds you gotta openyour phone for your man to see

(01:15:46):
that relationship is done.
And I'm only speaking on thatsaying that men go through
stuff, women go through stuff.
But if he asked me to open myphone and you especially because
y'all went through a situationlike that, open your phone.

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:57):
Well, that's different then.

SPEAKER_05 (01:15:59):
If you went through a situation and you went
through, I'm saying if you wentthrough a situation and he
opened your phone and y'allthink I wouldn't say that your
relationship is done because hewent through your phone and
y'all went through some stuff.
You're in a relationship andyou're getting to know.
I don't know you.
If I was dating you, Sterl, Idon't know you.

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:14):
Yeah, but if y'all just come and say, yo, open your
phone.
I feel that's intrusive.
I know what you mean.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:19):
No, not just like that.
What I'm saying is that me andyou dated, I don't know
everything about you.

SPEAKER_03 (01:16:24):
So how you gonna know how you know about going
through the person's phone?
Going through the phone.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:28):
I think I'm saying it wrong.
I'm saying we're dating andwe're in a relationship and
we're going through, I don't,I'm just using the saying, like,
I don't know everything abouthim.
So I don't know this is gonnatick him off.
And I'm just speaking fromexperience.
So I'm a person that has a lotof friends, male friends, you
know, women friends.
I have a lot of friends, and I'mmeeting somebody, and I don't
know that that thing is gonnatick him off, or that's gonna,

(01:16:50):
you know, get, you know, get himupset or whatever the case may
be.
And if he goes through my phoneand he sees all of those stuff
and he doesn't like it, I don'tthink that the relationship is
done.
I think it's it's like a it'slike a wake-up call for me.
He does not like it, he does notwant this, or he doesn't want
that.
So you have to think toyourself, what changes would you
make, if any, not saying thatyou have to make and are you

(01:17:11):
willing to make these changes?
You are willing.
That's the that's that's mything.
So if he asks you again orrandomly go through your phone
if after you spoke about thatand he sees that, then now we'll
say your relationship is donebecause he spoke to you about it
or whatever you want to do.
It's it's it's a ride.
That's what I meant, if if I'mexplaining it correctly.
That's what I meant about.

SPEAKER_03 (01:17:31):
If it's six months in and I gotta go through your
phone and you I don't know youby then, I'm cutting you off.
I mean, Marty, you too damnrush.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17:39):
No, you just you know.
You the grip reaper.
What are you doing with that?

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:44):
He's a relationship killer.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17:46):
You you listen.

SPEAKER_03 (01:17:48):
What is that?
Another person's trash isanother person's treasure.
I'm out of here.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17:52):
Another pet, yeah.
You I mean, that's your choice,but I'm saying you gonna, you,
you, you leaving a lot of,you're going into another lot of
treasures.
I'm just saying to you, you haveto.

SPEAKER_01 (01:18:01):
And you know, that's a defense mechanism.
You're just trying to saveyourself.

SPEAKER_05 (01:18:03):
Yeah, you just you have to be able to.
If if I don't know you walkingin every day and I don't know
that you like the shoes or youlike this, after a while, I got
to know that you don't like meputting the shoes here or this
and that.
If I don't change it, that'swhat I'm trying to say, Monty.
You cannot just you talk aboutit first.
Yeah, you you know what I'msaying?

(01:18:24):
You have to be able to put it onthe table.
I don't like this.
If if I know for a fact that youspoke to me about it and you
don't like it, and I continue,then I would say.

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:34):
She said you gotta have that conversation first and
then she'd have a conversationbecause how can I do that?
But then if she does it, thenyou should be up.

SPEAKER_05 (01:18:38):
But if it doesn't, if I've been if I've been single
for a while and now I'm datingand I've been doing this for a
minute and I didn't know thatthat bothered anybody, or I've
dated other people because I'vedated other people that never
had an issue about those things,and now you're dating somebody
else that seems to have an issueabout that.
I didn't know that.
So now that you put it on thetable, it's up to me now to make

(01:19:00):
the changes.
That's all I'm saying.
And if I don't make the changes,then it's a rap.

SPEAKER_01 (01:19:04):
I understood that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:19:05):
That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:07):
I hear you.

SPEAKER_05 (01:19:08):
You are you rough boy.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:10):
I hear you, man.
But listen, I'm telling you,man.

SPEAKER_05 (01:19:13):
Great topics though.
Yeah, man.
You know, this is been good.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:17):
It's good.
We could we could keep going onthis one, but yeah, we're gonna
let this one breathe.
It's a hard editing.
Yeah, we're gonna let this onebreathe.
We're gonna let this breathe,man.
And you know, it was um this wasa good, good one, good one.
Good to be back, man.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19:30):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:31):
Felt like we never left.
Back, put the gloves on, theding ding, the ring, and then
boom, we right at it.
We right at it, man.

SPEAKER_01 (01:19:38):
Yeah, yeah.
But to all all the people thatsupport us, let it be known.
We're back, bigger and betterthan ever.
We're gonna come on a regularbasis.
Right.
You understand?
With with with what with all theviews, all the topics,
everything you want to hear.
You heard?

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:53):
Yeah, and give us some, give us some.
Give us some topics.

SPEAKER_05 (01:19:56):
You know, when you get on and you hear it and you
like it, give us some topics.
Right.
Um, I'm saying, you know, we'reending and and until the next,
but the next one that I do wantto talk about, I want a lot of
ladies, you know, when you hearthis, um, this one, I want you
guys to log on to the next onebecause I do want to hit Monty
on breast cancer awarenessmonth.
Well, which is big.
It's a big thing, and um, I'mgonna get personal into it.

(01:20:19):
And I want, you know, a lot oflisteners, you know, to to come
on, hear my story, hear myjourney, hear my, you know, hear
what I'm going and where I'mcoming from it.
And you know, let's let's goplaces with this.
We have a lot to talk about morethan cheating men and cheating
women.
We have a lot going on, and wewould love people to, you know,
open up to us.
And and thank you, Monty, forgiving the opportunity to have

(01:20:42):
this.
I thank y'all.

SPEAKER_03 (01:20:43):
I thank y'all, man.
Y'all are um y'all driving me tokeep going, man.
Because you know, we took abreak and I'm like, yeah, still
like, yo, let's go, let's go.

SPEAKER_05 (01:20:51):
All right, all right, all right.
And thanks to people thatstopped me and asked me, like,
when are we coming back on andthings like that?
So I hope that you know you guyswill listen and share it to
other people.
Yeah, and you know, we love Ilove juicy topics and I love
keeping it real.
So right, right, right, right,right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:21:09):
We need people to share, yeah, comment and like,
man.
Share, comment, and like, share,comment, and like.
We gotta um share and we gotta,you know.
And if you want to be a guest,you know, hit somebody up, hit
one of us up, and then you know,and then we all we'll we'll
we'll try to accommodate.

SPEAKER_00 (01:21:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:21:27):
But yes, yes.
This is the your opinion doesn'tmatter podcast.
Do we do a closing statementstill?
Nah, I think that's enough.
This is the your opinion doesn'tmatter podcast.
And we're we are Audi.
Peace, peace, peace.

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