Pencils and Purpose: Friendship, Mentorship, and Embracing Health Challenges

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What if a simple pencil could forge a lifelong friendship and inspire a community? Join us as we reminisce about our childhood days and the unique bond that grew between us, Mr. Lamont and Lem, starting from a shared pencil in third grade. We discuss how this friendship evolved as we became fathers and mentors through our non-profit, Working Wonder. The power of positive mentorship and dedication is central to our story, highlighting the significant impact we can have on young lives and the importance of stepping up as role models in our community.

Reflecting on the emotional rollercoaster of losing over ten loved ones in a single year, we confront the harsh realities of grief and the urgency of prioritizing health. Our personal anecdotes bring to light the unexpected nature of loss and the critical importance of regular health check-ups. By sharing how we've drawn strength from our families, we hope to inspire listeners to embrace their health journeys and encourage open dialogues about their fears and medical evaluations.

With humor and honesty, we explore the complexities of relationships, legal challenges, and the role of finances in personal dynamics. From the intricacies of male-female friendships to the impact of sudden wealth on relationships, our discussions weave through themes of loyalty, empowerment, and communication. We touch on the legal system's racial biases and the effects of media portrayal, always stressing the importance of due process. Wrapping up with health and wellness advice, we emphasize the value of mental, physical, and emotional well-being, wishing everyone peace and blessings for the year ahead.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome, welcome to the your Opinion Doesn't Matter
podcast.
I am one of the hosts actuallythe only host here, Mr Lamont,
and I'm here with a good friendof mine, Lem.
How are you doing, bro?

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Doing good, doing good, doing good.
Nice, Happy to be here finally.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Finally, finally, finally, finally, man, you know,
our friendship goes over.
Like how many decades, man?
Like four, four decades.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, we go far as back Almost the fifth.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yeah, we go far as back, far back as when there was
Manufacture Hanover Trust Bank.
Our first day in class, ourfirst week in class, you know,
our parents both, both ourmothers worked at the bank and
they used to have these pencils.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
We didn't know at the time.
We didn't know at the time thatthey worked in the same bank.
Yeah, we didn't know.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Only thing we knew we didn't know until after be like
hey, we had a special pencilthat said manufactured handover
trust company, and it was black,you know, and I said I thought
I was the only one with it.
And then I see one on thistable.
I said yo, you stole that fromme it's almost born to fight.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yes, yes, it's almost born to fight?

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Yes, and that was like.
What grade were you in?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Third grade.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Third grade man.
Third grade man, third grade.
It's good to see you, man, goodto man.
Now we have kids.
Who's my daughter's in firstgrade?
My son is in third grade.
Yeah, we met nice, nice, yes.
So, yeah, how's things going,man?
I see, you know, I see you onthe um, the, the soccer van.
You're not the soccer dad.
Now, right with the, with the,all the different sports, like

(01:37):
equipment in the back trunk foryour son man.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
It's um, it's different on this this go around
than the others.
I mean, I started, I became afather for the first time in my
20s and then I became.
Then I had another child in my30s and I had him in my 40s.
So parenting now has been alittle different for me.

(01:59):
It's almost like I slowed down,had him later, so it was almost
like he's a grandchild.
I always make the joke Anychild you have after 40 is your
own grandchild Facts.
So the way I parent him is evenmore hands-on.
I was always hands-on, but it'seven more hands-on with him

(02:23):
because he pretty much gets alarge percentage of my time.
So that's a different way.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
For me personally, I have my first child in 40, my
daughter right now, and I'm likeDad.
What took me so long?
I didn't join the party withy'all?
Because I wasn't ready, man.
The timing is everything, man.
I don't regret it, no not atall.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
I mean, in many respects.
You know, I think even beforewe had children, you and I, as
far as what we represented inour community, we were always
parenting.
Oh, that's a fact.
We were parenting people thatwere our peers facts, you know.
So a lot of your time wasinvested in parenting people

(03:12):
that you didn't bring into thisworld yeah so you know that that
part of that aspect of who youare, you know you were a father
before you had a child right,right.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
so one of the things that um he's um referring to
slightly is, um, the non-profitthat we started in 2009, um
called working wonder, startinghome, and and um, that was a.
That was a journey in itself,um, from tutoring and then um
2008, then for two years andthen then 2010,.

(03:44):
We started with the basketballand then this is when we really
started having them be fathersfor these kids man Kids coming
to the program.
Out of so many kids, only twofathers ever showed.
It was only mothers, matter offact, a lot of them would just
come to the park.
It's like nobody dropped themoff, maybe a few mothers

(04:06):
sprinkled here and there, but webasically had to, um, ask them
how they doing in school and soforth and so on, and um, and
really care about theirwell-being right, right.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well, what was happening is the thing is, uh,
people will be magnetized tothat.
So people see you in the parkwith kids.
It happens now and it's just meand my son.
I'm working out with my son.
You'll have other children comeover or sometime parents and
you're a coach, like I'm justreally working out with my son
at this point, and once peoplesee that kind of positive energy

(04:37):
and you're working withchildren, they're magnetized to
it.
Yeah, and I think that's whatwas happening when that program
first started.
They see a couple kids and theysee two gentlemen navigating or
teaching them anything thefloodgates is open, exactly so
floodgates is open, it becamethat kind of situation yeah, it
was.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
It was a learning experience.
It's a learning experience, man.
We, um, we learned a lot fromthat and you know, and you learn
, you learn some things, thingslike okay, these kids are not
mindful about the time that weput in, that, they don't believe
.
A lot of times they don'trespect it.
Because I look back and I'mlike we had a group of kids from
2010 to 2014, 15.

(05:19):
And once they started goinginto high school certain things
like that and once they startedgoing into high school certain
things like that and I'm likethey knew I know they probably
was aware that another group ofkids is coming in, I was like,
dang, none of them came back andchecked for us.
None of them came back andchecked for us.
And I'm like, wow, we was therefor them, driving them to games

(05:42):
.
I remember I was driving thesekids to go for a workout for
college and my truck broke downand we are like I'm talking
about no brakes and we're likecruising like the Flintstones
with the car.
We're just going slow, slow,slow, slow, and then you know
the stuff that we went through,man, and you know, but anyway, I

(06:05):
wouldn't, I wouldn't, Iwouldn't, I wouldn't change that
.
I wouldn't change that man, Iwouldn't change that.
But right now I'm um volunteerat um Kings Bay youth
organization.
I've been there 12 years.
You know doing my thing there12 years.
Um, you know where my nephew?
He started at five.
Now he's 17, he's 17 and um, hequit on me for us with

(06:25):
basketball.
I mean, but these kids don'tunderstand, is that?
It's that we want you?
We want you to do this so youcould get a scholarship but
that's the thing is man andthat's the.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
That's the disconnect , like when with us, when we
were coming up, there was agenerational gap between us and
our parents.
Right, that was more or lessthe disconnect with us and the
parents.
It was a generational gap.
Now the disconnect is a senseof entitlement.
These kids, like you said, theydidn't, they didn't pay homage

(06:57):
or they didn't show respect, andcome back.
It's because they think they'reentitled to our time, whereas
we knew we didn't get much timefrom parents.
Parents didn't even listen tochildren.
People didn't really help youwith homework you know they'll
ask you if you did it.
We sit and do homework withthese kids, we give them our
time and in many respects theyhave a self of entitlement.

(07:21):
You know there's a lot ofdifferent factors as to why you
know the internet, all of thesethings that are instant
gratifications.
It changes the mentality of thechild.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Right.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
So now, with that sense of entitlement, you know
you take things for grantedright, that's a fact.
Whereas with us we would havewanted people to be in our
corner.
We eventually had coaches andpeople that were in our corner,
that supported us, but not everystep of the way, like a parent.
You see how we're parentingdifferently.
Now we're every step of the waywith these kids, from homework

(07:57):
to every basketball game, whenwe were playing ball.
What happened?
Nothing.
We had to go to the train.
We would be in Manhattan,queens, staten Island, the Bronx
, long Island in one day.
Three, four games, differentplaces on the trains.
Now, with our kids, we're like,just get in the car, we're
going to drive them to thesegames.
I just went with my son toPennsylvania, I went to Maryland

(08:18):
.
I'm driving him back and forthto his games.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
And that type of support we didn't get.
Yeah, I'll come up.
We didn't.
We didn't get.
We didn't get that support meand you was.
We played together in the onthe in the chicklet chicklet
league, that's what I call it meum.
He's playing in um junior highschool, um where you said
lindsey park, clavers, um umname some other I just gave.
I just gave this joke.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
I gave my wife this joke the other day because I
said when we first played Flood,our first coach, he drove us to
Williamsburg, to Lindsay Park,williamsburg, greenpoint area.
And I remember like two, threeweeks in he called us and was
like I can't meet you guys,because I have another game.

(09:07):
You're going to have to getthere on the bus.
And I called you and I saidMark, we got to take the 44.
You said who?
I ain't going over there.
If blood ain't picking us up, Iain't going.
You eventually went, but that'sanother conversation.
Williamsburg today was notwilliamsburg then oh, no way at

(09:30):
that point, williamsburg, therewas missing street lights.
You had to be out of therebefore it got dark yeah not this
gentrified monster we see nowit's totally different
surroundings than it was backthen yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
And the difference then for us with ball is like we
had a different level of hungercoming up, like you know, like
when the parks like, say, if itwas raining, we would literally
bring a broom to the park.
Like, say, and then you know,sweep the floor to play, or if
it was snowing, we'll take ashovel and we'll.
And this is facts, kids,nowadays, it'd be a beautiful

(10:05):
day, they're not outside,they're not out.
It's not like it's Cali, likethe weather's so humid.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
They'll be in a gym.
We played ball with gloves on.
Yeah, played ball where Icouldn't find, I couldn't feel
my fingers.
Yeah, shoveled snow.
Played in the rain.
Yeah, winter coats on, whateverit took to get out there and
play, and not to mention ourfavorite court was full of glass
and rubble.
Right right, right right youwas maneuvering through glass

(10:33):
and rubble to play basketball.
You know just a differentdesire to get better.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
And the options was to have football.
We was playing football, playedfootball as well.
Remember that guy who used tocome and just throw the baseball
the toe.
That toe lights can do it oh,yeah, oh man I'm oh, he played.
He was the only one I seen.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Actually was like yeah, practicing, practicing
practicing, practicing,practicing man and homeboy who
passed away recently to donovanoh, yeah, donovan donovan
donovan was him and Donovan.
What's that brother's name?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
I forgot his name.
He's pretty tall.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he was with Dexter andAunt Foreman and them.
They was also baseball players.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Oh, okay, okay, yeah, man.
So, man, I'll fast forward.
Man, this has been a rough yearfor this year to go.
Man, I don't need this year to.
I don't want to say go, I justcan't wait to.
I don't even know the properwords.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah, man, you know what it is, what it is.
This was a real.
This year took a toll on usemotionally.
You know me in particular.
I lost over 10 people this yearand when we were young know

(11:46):
people would be dying by by thegun right and that was tragic.
Obviously, to go through thatkind of turmoil and those kind
of uh situations where peoplejust pass away right away now
it's a little bit different yeah.
We got older, you know thestreet stuff is out the way.
But now people are dyingbecause of health reasons.

(12:10):
Health reasons.
Not taking care of yourself.
Not in all predicaments didthat happen.
Some were health related, somewas just due to age sickness.
Whatever you know contributedto your body just giving up um.
So it's even more of a reasonto to be real conscious of that.

(12:33):
Your diet, your health, youknow what you're putting into
your body exercise, all of thosethings are factors that are
becoming a real, you know, realnecessity at this age yeah, I
mean because you know I was, Iwas trying to get out of 2023.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
I was like tag, let me get it all.
Because I I went through myhealth scale, you know, with my
lungs, um, bilateral lung lungcondition, um blood clots in
both my lungs, and um I was likedang, I gotta get out of it.
And then, soon as the new yearstarted, then boom, another
friend and another, then anotherfriend, then another friend,
but the one that really reallyreally get to me now like still

(13:11):
is Clinton.
That right, there is like thatblow.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
That was a tough one.
That was a real tough onebecause and that's to tell you
how the human body works rightand, by all appearances, the
outside shell of him.
He looked like he in topphysical condition right.
Working out all the time.
Six pack abs body looks fitfrom the outside, but it's still

(13:37):
important to get your insidechecked.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
You gotta go see, listen, you gotta.
What's that colonoscopy?
Yeah, the colonoscopy.
Yo, you know why.
What's that colonoscopy?

Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah, the colonoscopy .

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yo, you know why I just did mine, probably like two
years ago.
You know what's so bugged out,why I never did it?
I thought that you would haveto be awake for that to happen.
I thought you had to be awake.
I said hold on, hold on, holdon.
I said hold on, hold on, holdon, you're going to put a tube

(14:07):
in my butt and I'm up.
Oh no, bro.
I said no.
I said that's why I didn't doit.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
You thought she had to be up.
I thought I had to be up.
I thought I had to be awake.
That's something else.
That ain't a procedure.
That's something else thatain't a procedure.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
That's a procedure that is more than an enema.
That's something, that'sanother level right there, kid
oh man.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, man, that is some funny stuff.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
And as soon as I said oh word, you don't.
I was like oh, shoot man.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
That's a serious thing, you know.
I did one some years ago.
I have another one coming up inJanuary.
You know it's not the mostpleasant thing, even though
you're knocked out.
The prep before it is a littledifficult.
But the seriousness of coloncancer cannot go without.
You know, attention.
You know one of our pioneers inthe hip-hop world just passed

(14:59):
away from colon cancer ClarkKent, clark Kent.
Clark Kent passed away.
So many other people we knowpassed away.
A couple of close friends ofours Rest in peace to our close,
close homie who passed fromthat man.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah, man.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
Nigel Nigel Giltz.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Yeah, man, nigel Scooty passed away.
Our boy, raj passed away.
Clint passed away.
Man, the thing about Clintpassing away, man, I didn't feel
that much pain until like that.
It took me back to 2016, whenmy mom passed.
I think about him.
I was thinking about him everyday for, like this happened
seven months ago.
I was thinking about him everyday for like two months straight
and every other day I was likeI'm like I be thinking about him

(15:38):
a lot.
I be thinking about him a lot.
That's like a lot.
That's like a.
That's a blow and a.
You know, honestly, some onlyonly thing that I I I could
compensate over, um,overcompensate for, is that I
have my daughter to love.
Right, you know what I'm saying.
So it's like, um, her love isgonna shine, shine through and
help me through all thesedifferent things.

(15:59):
And you know my family, myfamily, my fiance, you know my
stepson and stuff like that.
But you know, but, um, thething is about we got to keep
pushing, pushing on.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, but that's important.
You know they say like, inorder to first face any
adversity, the best thing to dois to pour into your loved ones,
especially your kids, you knowthey give you a different type
of focus at this point.
And, um, as much as friends aswe lost, there's new life coming
into existence, right, yeah,and um, it's just important to

(16:32):
savor those memories, you know,uh, don't be afraid to talk
about it like we're talkingabout health situations of these
same people that passed away.
If we put the message out therefor those preventative measures
, then it can help someone elseso their lives are not in vain,

(16:53):
you know.
So it's important to stilldiscuss the matter in which they
pass, and how can we do as a,what we can do as a community,
to help with preventativemeasures.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, people out there go see the
doctor man, don't be scared ofthe doctor man, absolutely Don't
be scared of the doctor man.
But yeah, man, moving along,moving along, man.
What's your thoughts, man?
A lot of things going on in thenews, man.
You know your boy, you know theditty parties.

(17:24):
I don't know, did you go to anyof them, ditty parties?
Did you go to any of them,ditty parties?
I didn't go to any dittyparties.
We went to hundreds and hundredsof parties.
I didn't go to any dittyparties, I'm for sure I didn't
head up for that, not that way.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
No baby oil.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
No, none of that man.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Honestly, I'll I'm not defending any of his actions
or anything like that, but Ihave to be honest in the fact
that the way he's beingcrucified white men in this
position don't get crucifiedthat way Right, If we look at it

(18:02):
, all of these guys that wereaccused of predatory actions
they got bailed.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Why is he not getting bailed them two guys from?
Yeah, they got bail, let'sthink not getting bailed them
two guys from.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Let's think about it.
He deserves bail, even if he isguilty, give him bail not if he
got at them kids, I'm nottalking about kids, man, I'm
just talking about the legalsystem.
It shouldn't be altered for ablack man.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Good for the geese.
Let this man get his bail andallow him for a black man.
Yeah, for the geese.
It's good for the goose.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, he's supposed to be let this man get his bail
and allow him the opportunity todefend himself.
I'm not defending any of hisalleged actions.
Yeah, Because at this pointit's alleged actions.
Alleged yeah, right.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
The Cassie thing is not alleged, though he kicked
ass yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
That's a domestic dispute.
He's not alleged, though hekicked ass.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
No, yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
That's a domestic dispute, yeah, but even a man
that's in a domestic situationlike that is granted bail, right
Right.
If it's a white man, he'sgranted bail, right Right.
So you know, as far as that'sconcerned, we'll let the legal
system pan that out.
But I just think it'sunfortunate that things are
catered differently when itcomes to a black man.

(19:03):
What's?

Speaker 1 (19:03):
your thoughts when you heard about fly chicken man.
They could look at that as sextrafficking and shit.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
That's so crazy.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
I'm like yo, I've been doing that, nah, man.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Listen once it's not underage man.
If it's too consenting adults,then I can't see that as being
that.
You know those things becomethat when you're in the public
light and you are in the publiclight and you're affluent in the
public light, you know,regardless to what it is like.
I don't know the specifics, Iguess we'll find that out

(19:40):
legally, but but at the end ofthe day, when you are in the
public light and you're and youhave money, you are a target
because you know, you know whatI'm, what, how they, how they
making it look is like that umsex trafficking.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Even if it's a prostitute, she's of age, she's
a prostitute, they stillconsider that sex trafficking.
But I don't know if theintention of sex crossing state
lines.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
But if it's a consenting adult and they're
crossing state lines to partakein sex voluntarily, I don't see
how it's sex trafficking.
I mean the girl could say no,Well, that's when it becomes sex
trafficking If it's againsttheir will.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
No, I mean no If you're paid for service.
I believe that's how they'respinning it.
They're spinning it in a waysex trafficking, because it's a
different type of thing.
If it's kids, it's not calledsex.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Right, right, right.
I don't know what it's called.
No, it's called sex traffickingif it's children too.
It's like, but they're raisingit Paid for a service right
that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
They they remixing it to fit for puffy, like all
right this is what you gavethese chicks a birkin bag.
This is what.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
This is what I'm trying to say, yeah, this is
what I'm trying to say becauseof who he is.
Yeah, this public figure with alot of money, it becomes that.
But when you pose the initialstatement or question, you said
well, can it be considered thatif we flew a woman out and took
her shopping, she knew what shewas doing, right?

(21:10):
So, with that being said, it'shard.
That's where it becomes a legalmatter.
Right now you have to.
You have to get the definitionsof these laws and see how it's.
Specifically, he violated thesepeople's rights or he partaked
in prostitution across statelines, right?

Speaker 1 (21:30):
so at that point it's a legal matter yeah, but you
know, and they pulling your boyjay-z in man jay-z, and it's a
minor it's a minor well, that'sthe thing, man, these are all
allegations, but then you know.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
You know what he's saying, you know it's a mind
this is.
Well, that's the thing, man.
These are all allegations, butthen you know.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
You know what he's saying, you know it's
allegations, but but what, um, Ithink in the statement or
somebody was saying, is thatlisten, how, um, how do you sue
first?
If it's a crime, it's a crime.
How do you sue a person first?
This is exactly.
And then go from 20 years ago.
You sued recently a couplemonths ago but then now you want
, now you want to do criminalcivil.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
You had to think that .
You know I hate to use thisterminology that the sharks were
going to come in the water,because these guys have money
and it's civil cases that areturning into criminal cases.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Right, so they start off civilly.
So civil is cases, yeah Right,so they start off civilly.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
So civil is money yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
It became criminal because now the DAs is going to
be like wait, there's a lawsuitfor this, let's follow up.
Is the statute of limitationsover on this case?
So that's what's going tohappen, but a lot of it was
spawned by money man.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, yeah, a lot of it was spawned.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
My money I'm not saying these individuals weren't
taken advantage of, but thepremise of what's happening now
is spawned for the actual moneypart of it.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Unfortunately, and speaking about money right, we
pivoted into another situation.
I'm going to ask you a questionIs it okay for your women to
have conversations with men at abar?
Do you think it's?
How do you?
What's your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2 (23:08):
uh, you know, I think you.
Well, they don't know, but Ithink you know my perspective on
this.
I'm a secure individual.
So if my mother, my um mother,mother, sister, wife, whoever
the case may be, is having aconversation with someone with
the opposite sex, I'm notintimidated by that, depending

(23:28):
on the circumstance.
I'm not intimidated by someonebuying my wife a drink and her
accepting it.
We're all adults, right, we'reall adults.
If I try to monitor a woman'sactions, then I'm an insecure
man.
That should be left up to herto make the decision on the

(23:48):
surround.
Now I'm not saying a guy'scoming up and making sexual
advances on her immediately andhey, take a drink, and he and
you know what comes with thedrink.
Not that kind of behavior.
I'm talking about the behaviorin which she's just having a
conversation with another personwho has good energy, just like
her.
He offers her a drink.
They're having a conversationwith another person who has good
energy, just like her.
He offers her a drink.
They're having a conversation,they're conversing.

(24:09):
I see no, no problem in thatyeah, I do.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
You have a problem in that I got a problem with that.
I think, look, look, how we was, no, no, no, we got it how you
were.
You too, hold on, I'm sayingI'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
I'm talking about when we was in our 20s, no, but
what I'm saying is, even withthat being said, not every
conversation.
So this is what we're going totalk about now.
Men, I was having thisconversation the other day.
I think it's a challenge.
A woman should have a challengewith men that don't have

(24:44):
platonic female friends.
Say it again women should behave a challenge being with a
man who doesn't have anyplatonic female friends.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Oh so you, oh so you know why I say that so you're
saying oh say, let me, let meclear it up for the own people.
So you're saying is that, um, awoman should look at a man
bugged out if he doesn't have nofemale friends?

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yes, yes, you know why?
Because I don't think anybody,man or woman, that doesn't have
platonic friends of the oppositesex is a well-rounded, complete
individual.
How do you not?
How do you now not accept theother gender into your life to

(25:26):
get perspective, analysis andunderstanding, and also for for
your conversations not to besexually driven?
It's, it's imperative that manor woman have opposite sex
platonic friends.
That's the only way you'recomplete.
If not, you're looking ateverything one-sided.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
So you're saying okay , if you're like, say me right
now, and my fiance?
So I'm supposed to be able tobe like.
Hey, she's talking to herhomeboy on the phone, what's up?

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Well, she can.
I'm not saying it has to be thetype of relationship that's an
everyday conversation, but inorder for her to get perspective
, she should have some sort ofmale friend, whether it be
befriending one of your friends.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
So hold on.
The only way she could gatherperspective is by talking.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
No, I don't want her to get.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
No, you see, you're insecure.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
It's not about me being insecure.
Yes, you're insecure.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
It's not about me being insecure.
Yes, you are insecure.
There's a reason why I'm sayingthat.
Right, how, if she needs todiscuss a matter, right, there's
certain things that she needsto discuss and get a male's
perspective in order tounderstand you, I get it and
understand you Right.
Where's she getting that from?
She's not going to get it fromyou.
I'll tell you where she needsan objective point of view.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
I tell you where, where A therapist.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
No, that's still not A therapist.
That's the objective, butthat's internal.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
She needs Listen to why I'm saying that no, no, I
hear you, I hear you A therapistcan help her work through her
problems.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
Mm-hmm, it's still good for her to be able to
bounce stuff off.
It doesn't have to be anexternal male friend.
It could be an uncle, it can bea brother.
But I'm just saying, but thoseare platonic friends.
So even if it's different, evenif it's not someone in the
family, because they're alsosubjective, so they might not be
given an objective view, righttalking to an uncle, that's see,

(27:17):
this is why I'm trying to sayhe's gonna favor, he to favor
the niece.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
And even if it's and that's what I'm saying Even if,
like I have friendships withsome of my friends' wives that
are obviously platonic, they'relike sisters to me, right.
When they come to me and theycome to me and we're having
discussions, I know I try mybest to be objective, but I am
still subjective because I'm notgoing to tell them, even if I

(27:49):
believe it to be true, you needto get out of that situation.
I won't do that because I'msubjective.
I'm going to say, listen, Iwant you guys to work, because I
love both parties.
So that's why I'm still toointernal, even though I'm
objective, and I'll go and telland talk to a friend or talk to
a cousin and tell them yo,listen, you messing up, but I'm
still subjective.
Sometimes they need anobjective person.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
That's when the therapist come in for me.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
No, that's therapy is internal work.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
A therapist can't tell her what to do when it's
regarding you, so how can howcan I mean how can another man
tell her what to do with regardsto me?
I'm not saying he has to tellher what to do in regards to me.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
I'm not saying that he has to tell her what to do,
but to get a perspective.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah, but why a therapist can't give a
perspective A male therapist?

Speaker 2 (28:28):
I don't think a therapist's function is for that
.
A therapist's function is notto be someone's friend.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, but that's why it would be more objective,
because they don't have no skinin the game.
You could have a better.
They'll be like they cannot.
They don't know him, they don'tknow her.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
So they're going to give you therapeutic advice in a
one-hour session.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
No I mean and not a friendship.
Monty, I get what you're saying.
All right, so I'm going to giveyou.
So let's redirect this.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
You're saying it needs to be more intimate in
order for it to mean more let'sget, let's.
Let's strip it back down towhat we when we started this
conversation.
Do you agree or disagree thatit's important for a man,
because this is what I reallymean by this.
We go on a tangent Men who havefemale friends, platonic female

(29:14):
friends.
There's a, there's a purposefor that in life, one being to
get a female perspective onthing without a sexual element.
You know why that's importantto us, why you think that might
be important to men I don't know.
You tell me, I have so so sex is, the is not the only thing that

(29:36):
drives us to have arelationship with women, if we
can conquer that and no, this isjust a woman who's platonic,
I'm not even looking at her inthis way that controls not only
just our sexual energy, theenergy, the need to control
women, and that's what we'retalking about here.

(29:56):
Trying to control peoplebecause she wants to have a
drink with a man All of thesethings is control over women.
In order to eliminate thatcontrol and to put them on an
equal playing field is viewingthem just like you view a male
friend, and that's why thesekinds of relationships are so
important to evolving as aperson.
How you view women, how youtreat women, how you maneuver

(30:19):
around women.
That's why you know there's somany men out here.
Honestly, that's why I getalong so well with females,
right, and me getting into arelationship or meeting women
have never been that much of achallenge as other men, because
I don't have to walk over andtry to kick it to you or talk to
, because I have platonic femalefriends, straight platonic.

(30:40):
Some of these female friends Iwas with, I had relationships
with them so I could see thefear of what men feel like man.
What if she was with him beforeintimately?
So what?
There's women that I have beenwith intimately, that I've
attended their weddings andtheir husbands know it depends
on how you are and how youmaneuver as a person.

(31:01):
Bro, you can have a like mywife.
Right not to air you out, butthat's to tell you how it's
important to evolve as a person.
My wife had relationship with aperson I know, right, he's, he's
a friend of mine.
I don't feel any way about that.
In all actuality I'm.

(31:21):
He's a nice guy because I knowhim personally.
But some men can't get pastthat because they're worried
about their position in awoman's life.
You shouldn't be concerned withthat and I'm not saying that
past don't matter at all.
But guess what?
How many?
I'll say this right, because itcould go both ways.
I'll say this right, because itcould go both ways.
There's people that we've beenwith and women have been with

(31:45):
that our mates would be like,really, you was with that person
, right?
As opposed to knowing yo.
That dude was a cool dude orthat's a nice girl.
I could see why y'all wastogether.
And it also deals with how thatrelationship was built.
I'm not talking about.
You know they had each other inthe bathroom stall once.

(32:05):
You know you might not want toknow about that.
I'm talking about where someoneactually cared for the person
you was with right, and there'sfriendship because it's
friendship and nothing more.
But all of those things areentities based on what I'm
talking about being able to knowthat there's a friendship from
the opposite sex, it changesyour mentality about that sex,

(32:28):
bro.
It just does.
It's psychological.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
I believe in a clean canvas.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
What does that mean?

Speaker 1 (32:34):
That means that, okay , my past is my past, your past
is your past.
And listen, listen and listen.
I say only only male friendsshe have, they gotta be gay.
That's it.
This is impossible, it'simpossible to have, and and I'm
gonna tell you.
Let me tell you why.
Let me tell you why because Iwent through a situation before

(32:57):
the girl had her um her shoulderto cry on, which is a close
friend.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yeah, we know those things happen.
And then what happened?

Speaker 1 (33:04):
And then you know boom bam, boom no.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yes, but we know those things happen, those
things happen.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
So listen, you eliminate it.
You eliminate it.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
No, but you never do.
That's the thing.
My uncle gave me a story once,right.
He told me.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Rest in peace.
Yeah, rest, rest in peace,uncle Gaz.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
He was one of the most prolific, intelligent, you
know wise men that I ever knew,he said.
He said, nephew, let me giveyou the story about this woman.
He said this woman's husbandused to bring her to work every

(33:43):
day, pick her up from work everyday.
You know when he?

Speaker 1 (33:45):
she horn him at lunchtime because you can't stop
somebody no matter whatprecautions you put in or
barriers you put in, peoplegonna find a way to do what they
want to do, but don't you, butdon't you believe in lower the
probability, like say this no,if you have.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
You know how.
You know how you lower theprobability?
No, you have to.
You know how you know how youlower the probability?
No, no, by being a well-roundedmate In general, we're being
wise because think about it.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Say there's a highway , You're not going to take a
chance and just run it across.
You're going to figure it out.
Okay, I can't do it here.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
Oh, this car because things is going fast.
Oh, this, that and the third,you're not going to just jump
out there.
You got a plan and you got tomake sure things is right before
you go across that street.
Absolutely.
And you know what that's calledWork within your home.
That's you and her having anopen, honest conversation about

(34:35):
life and fulfilling every singleaspect of that.
That means mind, body and soul.
I hear you, bro.
If you fulfill all of those andthere's an open line of
communication in yourrelationship, there's a less
likelihood of that happening.
And let me tell you somethingwe don't own anybody's sexuality
.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
No way, and they don't own ours, right.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
So, by that being said, even if problems arise in
a relationship and an individualcomes, either man or woman, and
say listen, man, things aregetting tough, things are rocky
right now.
What do we do to put it back ontrack?
If there's no movement ordirection positively, then
there's another conversationthat needs to be had.

(35:19):
Yo, this is making me feel acertain way and I'm looking at
other people.
Right, I'm talking abouthealthy, even when things are
deteriorating, right, still,having a healthy relationship to
have a conversation, right,right, you're talking about.
What I believe you're saying islike yo, I want to limit this
from happening, this fromhappening.

(35:39):
You can't limit that.
The only thing you could do ishave a healthy enough
relationship for your partner toexpress to you when there's
discontent and they want therelationship to get better and,
if it's not, to tell you isdeteriorating, eliminating
obstacles in the form of womanor man.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
You, can't do that.
I'm going to just say I'm notover the top bugged out or
nothing like that.
I don't go through phones.
She don't go through my phone.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
I get it.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
We have a cool relationship.
I don't even.
It's not like what I'm saying,it's like I tell her oh, you got
to cut your friends off.
No, no, I get you, she's'm in aplace where I got my own thing
going on.
I do have a couple of friends,and the friends that she do have
happen to be gay because she'sa hair stylist.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
No, because she's a hair stylist and her coworkers
are you know, Do you haveplatonic female friends?
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
And they know her.
Yeah, but what I'm saying?
But I don't, I would never goto them and ask their opinion
for her.
I would never do it.
I would never do it.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
Well, you don't have to ask.
I don't even want theirperspective.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
I won't even want their perspective, because you
know what the worst kind ofperspective is a perspective
from a person who's not even inthat situation.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
No, it depends on what you see.
I'm not talking aboutdiscussing massively intimate
details, right?
I'm talking about perspectivesBecause intimate details, right?
I'm talking about perspectivesbecause, dude, we grew up in a
chauvinistic world, man, and I'mnot even talking about just the
world world I'm talking aboutin our communities, in the
western community.
We grew up chauvinistic.
We're victims of that, you andI.

(37:13):
So some of our perspectives aredistorted, like the one we're
currently discussing right now,because you have a distorted
perspective, man.
You don't really, uh, let theviewers decide.
Um, you have a distortedperspective in the sense that
you're saying your wife, yourwoman, can't have any male
friends unless they're gay.

(37:34):
No, I said.
Well, you know I'm kind ofextreme, right, I mean it just
so what I'm saying to you no, no, whatever what it is, I'm not
shunning you.
No, I'm saying that's yourperspective.
No, no, no what.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
I said I mean, listen , listen, If I'm getting into a
relationship, right, but I'vebeen with her for years.
So it's a different type ofballgame with her.
Me and her started as friends.
We was friends for years andgot into a relationship.
So it's different.
This is a whole different thing.
If I'm a like I say I'mstarting a new relationship, I

(38:03):
don't even want to talk likethat.
But anyway, Joe Blow is havinga new relationship and next
thing, you know, he meets thiswoman but she has 10 guy friends
Come on man.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
That's excessive, bro yeah but listen, come on.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
No, you're going to a ridiculous point now, but hold
on.
So what's?

Speaker 2 (38:17):
the difference between two and 10?
No, but it depends on thenature of the relationship.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
But you're trying to be excessive you're trying to
say I'm 10 guys joe blows sowhat's the difference between if
it's platonic, it's platonic.
What's the difference?

Speaker 2 (38:28):
no, that's fine that's fine, but I I see what
you're, where you're going withthis 10 friends, she might have
10 friends.
Right, she might have 10friends.
Yo listen, it depends on.
First of all, let me explainthis and let's this, and let's
be very candid and I'm trying toget to the nitty gritty of this
.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
Right.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
A lot of these things have to do with how big a
person's circle is.
If you have somebody that is anindividual that's extremely
worldly and has a wide networkof individuals, let's say within
their environment, theirbusiness environment, their
world, they're going to have 10friends.

(39:08):
I'm not saying that you thefriendship, I'm saying you don't
have to talk to them every day.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Let me clear it up.
When I'm saying she shouldn'thave male friends, her male
friends is that no, you're notcalling them.
You're not calling them to say,hey, I got a problem with my
man and and I want, I want, Iwant your point of view on that.
No, I don't want her to havenone of that.
No, that time.
But she got male friends.
Of course you got male friends.
She probably got friends, Idon't know.
But let me make that clear.

(39:34):
I'm talking about also.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
No, also but also listen when I said that
initially.
It's not I'm saying, every timeyou get a problem, your wife,
your woman, calls a man.
That's not what I'm saying,because your relationship should
you should have the type ofrelationship where communication
is so clear that you reallyhave to go to the outside.
I said for perspective.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
I said for perspective yeah, but I didn't
say how do you get a perspectiveif, without you don't get a
perspective from the air?
You get a perspective from aconversation.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
I'm not saying you don't, but how is, how is, but
not every single time is thisperson reaching out to someone.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
If something, if you're going through a deep
situation right with your womanbut before she was your wife and
it's something real deep withyou and her, would it be all
right for her to gain aperspective talking to another,
another guy you don't even knowabout?

Speaker 2 (40:24):
see, but see, no, now you're talking about you don't
know about.
I mean a friend, yeah, but thatfriend could be someone that I
know about as well, but a friend, remember, I might know what
I'm saying it before you gotmarried.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
I wouldn't care.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Honestly, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't care, I
wouldn't you know what, maybe my, maybe when to listen we're
both entitled to because they'regoing to be people that agree
with both of us.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
When it comes to me personally, I don't care.
I really don't care, because Idon't look at that as a threat,
because my level ofcommunication with my woman, if
she wants to go outside therelationship, I'm kind of going
to gather that already.
I'm going to kind of know thatalready.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
But it's not about that, it's not about her.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
So where's the threat ?

Speaker 1 (41:09):
It's not about her intentions, right, it's not
about her intentions.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
It's about his intentions.
Yes, so you want to be incontrol of other men's
intentions?

Speaker 1 (41:16):
No, it's not about control.
You don.
It's not about control.
You don't want people to be putin certain situations now like,
say, like me and my womanhaving a problem right um, you
started off.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
You started off with a drink, right?
So you, you said putting, she'sputting herself in a position
by accepting a drink fromsomebody, right?
That's that's putting herselfin a position um, yes, that is
no, it's not.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yes, it is to me, to me, it is no, it's not.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
They're not having a drink at 3 am in his apartment.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
No, we're talking about in a bar.
What I'm saying is to mepersonally, because you know why
I look at that.
You know why I look at that?
Because I won't do it, you'redoing all right.
No, what I'm saying is thatmentality, that mentality.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
How much?

Speaker 1 (41:56):
women.
We bucked up on that, had menand then a conversation from a
drink to how much time thatdoesn't happen?

Speaker 2 (42:03):
yeah, of course, but those guys weren't in real
relationships with those womenman how do you know what you
mean?

Speaker 1 (42:08):
how do I know?

Speaker 2 (42:09):
how can you say because she was too susceptible
at that point.
All right for me andinvulnerable right so now the
vulnerability is is based on therelationship she has with that
current person, not Not hervulnerability.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Did you hear this thing?
This guy says listen, yourwoman is only single to
circumstance.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, but that's.
I know what he's saying.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
She's single to circumstance.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
So we could go and talk about that movie.
You remember the movie withWoody Harrelson and Demi Moore?
Indecent Proposal, yeah,indecent Proposal.
Indecent proposal okay, yes,that can happen with some people
, to circumstance, yeah, butwith some people, right, but
there's, but there's a lot ofpeople that don't have a price
tag man, there's a lot of peoplethat don't there's a lot of

(42:55):
people who don't look at whathappened in what happened in the
movie, because that's probablythat the odds of that happening
is highly likely, right whenthey accept that.
Yes, when they accept that money.
The money it almost was devilmoney.
It destroyed that relationship,right?
People hit the lotto.
There's a show on.
I was flipping through thechannels a few months back.

(43:17):
I had seen it before.
The lottery ruined my life.
That's the name of the showPeople that hit the lottery.
A man hit the lottery.
He hit millions.
His granddaughter committedsuicide in his house, his
grandson OD'd.
You know all of these thingsthat came with that abundance of
money like that, right?
So I understand your pointsaying the person is as loyal as

(43:41):
their options.
That's really what the thing isis as loyal as their options.
That's really what the thing is.
As loyal as their options, yeah, so if they could, if she could
upgrade you and and and and get10 million dollars.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Let me tell you something oh, no, no, let me
tell you something.
What 10 million dollars yousending your?
You sending your woman there?
I'm not that listen I'm notthat, so I I'm not that, I'm not
selling my woman.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
but let me tell you something Hold on.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Let's make this clear , Yo listen to me Wait, wait,
wait.
So if there was an indecentproposal For $10 million For $10
million.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
Baby, let's get that bread and let's get out of here.
Okay, you know why?
Because I'm not an insecuredude how you Yo, somebody was
with her before you.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
bro, Wait a minute.
So what is it?
I don't understand.
It's about insecurity.
If she wants to do that and shewants- to get a $10 million.
Let's do it.
Okay, so let's do it.
So what do you mean by?
Oh, you looking at beinginsecure?

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Bro, let's not get into this, because $10 million
is changing people's lives.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Right, right, right right.
I'm sorry, I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't send my woman there.
That's not being insecure.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
That's not being insecure, okay, see it's easy to
say that.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
Now you see what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
It's easy to say that now.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
It's easy to say that now you probably want a
contract where you guaranteemoney.
No, what you talking about?

Speaker 2 (44:59):
We're supposed to leave you right after that.
So be it then, but I knowthat's not what's happening.
You see, that's to tell you howsecure I am, oh boy, that's to
tell you how secure I am.
That's how secure I am and it'snot.
See, the security doesn't comefrom only piping down because

(45:19):
obviously Right, but it goesbeyond that.
Like sex used to be the thingthat drived everything, right,
yo, she ain't leaving herebecause of sex.
Sex don't keep things together.
Love don't keep things together.
Security, emotion none of thosefactors keep things together by
itself.

(45:40):
It's a combination of them allput together that makes the
relationship.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
Right.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
You know what I'm saying.
When we were kids, when we wereyounger and we were kids, you
having good sex, you could holdon to somebody.
That ain't happening.
No more Sex.
Don't just pay the bills Right.
Love don't just pay the bills.
I've seen relationships wherepeople were in love with each
other and't just pay the bills.
Love don't just pay the bills.
I've seen relationships wherepeople were in love with each
other and finances came in theway, emotion came in the way,

(46:08):
certain things came in the way.
So all of those thingscollectively in a soup, in a
stew, is what keeps therelationship going and where
trust builds and all of thosethings build Communication being
one.
There'll be a time, man andit's not too far off in the

(46:32):
horizon, where stuff stoppedworking, bro.
Not for me.
Personally, I'm good, but allthem cats was taking Viagra
young and didn't need to.
What about when you need it,right?
So I'm saying that becausethat's the element that
everybody's going to be facedwith at some point where,
sexually, you may not be havingsex with your mate no more.
What's going to keep them thereto wipe your ass, yeah, when

(46:53):
you're dying?

Speaker 1 (46:53):
yeah right, have you ever used um one of the pills
before?
No, I never had to.
No, I didn't say you had to, Isaid have you did it?

Speaker 2 (47:02):
I did.
I did it once for fun, yeahright the wild thing is, when I
did it, I didn't even have sex.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
So you just whacked off.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
No, I shot myself in the foot.
I took the pill.
I was drinking, took the pill,said something crazy, ruined my
night and I ain't getting no sex.
I was walking around just hardoh, for 12 hours, oh shit cause
you know, we can shoot ourselvesin the foot.
That's another thing.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
I took one of those one time.
I never was somebody thatneeded.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
I didn't need it, so it was just vice.
But the guys, the young guys,and I preached to the young guys
cause, like you know for and Ipreach to the young guys because
for years I was hanging, goingdifferent places throughout the
world and these young guys I'mwith they, taking Viagra and all
this I'm like young dudes, manWord Not needing it.
And I used to tell these dudesyo y'all messing with all that

(47:55):
stuff, and when y'all reallyneed it, when y'all get older,
it's not going to work for youbecause your body's going to be
immune to it.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
But like I mean, like .
I mean like if you're saying itgoing away, you're talking
about like DR and stuff.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but like but why why?
Do you need to run a marathonwith these, with these type of
chicks Needing it?
Dudes got egos right.
They want to have sex nonstop.
So they taking these pills andthey young.

(48:26):
So I'm like, when y'all getolder and y'all need for it to
work, your body's going to beimmune to it.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Yeah, it's going to go numb Right.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
So, anyway, I say that, to say that when it comes
to a relationship, there comes atime where you know the other
things in your relationship issupposed to be the glue.
Other aspects of therelationship got to be the glue
of it, right, that's friendship,camaraderie, love.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Are we still talking about the indecent proposal?

Speaker 2 (48:58):
No, so that has something to do with it, because
what I'm getting at is Will thewoman respect the man after he
did that?
It depends on the relationship.
There's many Yo, it's happenedbefore.
No, I'm just asking Okay, socheck this out, the reason why
I'm going to say that is Allright.
There is a major difference bysaying, okay, she's going to
accept $10 million to have sexwith a man, but there's guys

(49:22):
that get past it for free.
Their woman has an affair andthey stay together, right, for
no money.
Is she not supposed to respecthim after she had an affair?
Because we could look at itlike a disrespect.
An affair isn't a fairdisrespect.
Right, of course, all right.
So if you accepting thatdisrespectful act for free, you

(49:45):
ain't going to accept it for $10million.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
It's different than being a willing participant.

Speaker 2 (49:52):
Dude, you was a willing participant.
When you didn't show her therespect she deserved, you knew
you could get horned right.
I'm not saying either here northere.
You know I was joking when Isaid I'm just sending a.
I'm joking, but I'm not joking.
Yeah, only because it's notthat I'm selling my wife man
like I said, we're speakingfiguratively.

(50:13):
Yeah, it's a businessopportunity we're speaking
figuratively right rightfiguratively, in the sense that
who's posing you that question?
Right Anyway.
But see, this is where it getsa little hairy, because when you
put yourself, when you havethese type of conversations, you
put yourself in this kind ofsituation, some people will take

(50:34):
offense.
Right, how did he say that?
He said he would do that andall of that.
That also shows something intheir relationship.
Like my woman's going to hearthis, you think she's going to
be pissed off.
No, it's because of the natureof our relationship and the
relationship we have.
I'm allowed to speak my freemind and the ramification, if

(50:56):
there's ramifications, it'll bedealt with communication wise.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
but it's on her to agree to it.
One step is you saying, alright, go ahead, we gonna do the
million and then 10 million, andthen, and then the woman be
like, nah, I ain't doing it,it's on the woman too.
So if any guilt that you feel,the woman feel guilty too, like
say, if I, I pose that to mywoman.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah, so, so, yeah, so it's a um listen, it's a
slippery slope, but all of thisthat was figurative, the meat
and potatoes of thisconversation was pretty much
about trust, trust, trust is amajor factor in a relationship
and once again, you, everybody,has their perspective on it.

(51:37):
What accepting that drink ornot accepting that drink?

Speaker 1 (51:42):
Right.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
But me personally.
I think my level of trust islike I'm going to allow you your
free will.
I'm not going to taint yourfree will by imposing my
sanctions on what you should do.
It should be up to you.
I'm not doing that because Idon't believe there should be a

(52:06):
restriction that I put on you.
You are of your own free willand free mind and I should.
I have to have acceptance forthat, because I always say this
and people be, and when I firstsaid this to people they was
like oh, that's crazy.
That shouldn't be the case.
If your woman kills you or yourman kills you, unfortunately

(52:28):
it's your fault why youshouldn't do better.
No, you sort of there's flags.
No, you don't this.
Yes, there is.
There's Monty.
Every relationship we've been inwhere a woman or a man has
acted in a crazy manner, apossessive manner.
They've shown us that before ithappened.
And if not, we didn't do.

(52:50):
And I'm not listen, I'm nothere to condemn people that were
killed by their mates, that'snot what I'm here to say.
But in most of those cases itwas continued abuse.
It wasn't just out of the blue,somebody was acting in a
certain way, and it happened.
Very rarely does somebody justwake up and say, okay, I'm just
going to shoot this person.
That's no.

(53:11):
If that happens to us, we didn'tinterview properly.
We didn't do the thingsnecessary to weed out those type
of individuals and brought theminto our life.
Listen, I'm here to say in mypast, I've dated women that were
abusive to me.
A chick broke my phone, triedto slap, crash, maybe crash a

(53:32):
car, all of this stuff.
Now, some of those actions wereprompted because of my actions,
don't get me wrong.
However, there's still alimitation.
You still have to takeaccountability for how far you
take things.
When a relationship is toxic,right?
However, I didn't interview,right.
There's certain things that weneed to do.

(53:53):
When you see certain red flags,yo, if we go past those red
flags and they always show themto us.
But be like oh, we like theperson.
Or if early, for instance, youmeet a girl years ago, I
remember this happened to meyears ago I met her.
She called me like 12 times inone day, like six missed calls,

(54:14):
boom.
And I just happened not to havemy phone so I was like yo.
She called me 10 times.
So I call her back like yo,what's up?
I'm thinking something serioushappened.
She's like no, I was justtrying to.
I was trying, I ain't hear fromyou.
I was trying to reach you.
If you call me 12 times and Ilook past that, I'm supposed to
be upset at myself right twomonths from now.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
You know you bug out you know, you know, you know
what happened to me one time.
One time is that I just earlyo'clock talking to this chick.
Nothing happened, nothinghappened.
Then one day she just pop up atmy crib.
I'm like yo, what are you doinghere?
Sure, oh, I can't just come seeyou when I want to see you.

(54:54):
I'm like, all right, I was likethat definitely was a sign.
And you know what another signis where they live, you back
where they live is a signviewers parental discretion is
devised, is advised at this timewith this guy?

Speaker 2 (55:14):
that's crazy stuff, listen where they live.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Man, it's the quality of life Dude no.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
The quality of life man?
No.
Maybe the household.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
Anything past Eastern Parkway that was his thing.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
Anything past Eastern Parkway she's no good, no way.
And the funny thing is, for alittle while he was right, I was
like this is such a ridiculousthing, I can't sign on to this
which.
For years it was right, yeah,man.
But now what you were sayingwas, I think, what you were
saying in essence.
I understood what you weresaying then, but it wasn't the

(55:45):
geographics, it was more of thechallenges that go with people
that are impoverished or thatneed Right, or that need right,
and most of the time,unfortunately, those people
deprived of certain things manone being fathers in the

(56:07):
household, certain things thatthey were deprived of, and and
it happens, you know, butgeographically I don't think so
I was younger, though I was in.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
I was in my 20s.
Yeah, he was young.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
He was very young.
But I used to tell you yo, it'snot geographics, man, it's more
like what they're surrounded byin their household.
It has something to do witheconomics.
People going through strugglesis a different kind of thing.
It's a different kind of animal.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
Definitely it's a different kind of animal.
Man is a different kind ofthing.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
It's a different kind of animal, definitely.
It's a different kind of animalman but I mean this topic is a
good one to have on anotherpodcast, to have female panel
members to discuss male-femalerelationships, platonic
relationships and what's thebenefit of it or the detriment?
The benefit versus the?

(56:58):
Or the detriment, the benefitversus the detriment.
We all know what the detrimentis, but in most cases it doesn't
have to be that way.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
Yeah because it's an empowerment, empowering
situation but your philosophy,the way you're looking at it,
which I do understand you'd belike yo if it's going to happen,
it's going to happen, no matterwhat it is.
But then I'll look at it likethis If you know better, you do
better, because you knowanything can happen.
We know this.
But then it's also about that'swhy they build cars a certain
way, they build planes a certainway.

(57:28):
Things can happen, but youfortify it, so things won't
happen.
That's how I look at life.
You look at certain things.
It's like all right, you can'tfortify your mate, bro, it's too
much.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
That's what I was saying, that's what I was
bringing up.
I'm saying, just like with you,we don't own someone's
sexuality.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
No, we don't.
And what?

Speaker 2 (57:46):
I mean by that is even if there's not a problem in
a relationship, right, we'veseen.
You know, one of my guiltypleasures years ago was reading
them crazy romance novels andstuff.
That one was this right youused to read romance novels.
Yeah, like crazy novels fromZayn and these dudes.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
You was reading novels?

Speaker 2 (58:06):
No, it was funny because I read this book Between
Lovers.
You was reading books.
Yeah, I always read books.
I read all kind of books, bro.
When.
All kind of books, what do youmean?
You think I'm mute when youknow what's a good book for you?
Four Agreements, when, when yougo-.
I always read books, bro.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
I always read books.
Why do you think I'm still?

Speaker 2 (58:23):
well-versed.
You hear the way I speak?
You do.
It doesn't sound like I readbooks.
You do.
So one of my guilty pleasureswas one of those saucy novels I
used to read.
A guilty pleasure was when Iwas working with these girls
some years back.
I grabbed one of their books.
She was like yo, you got toread this excerpt.
So I read the excerpt from thebook and I'm like yo, this book

(58:44):
is crazy.
I picked up the book.
I used to read it when I wasriding the subway years ago.
Between Two Lovers, this dude,he kept on trying to open his
relationship.
He wanted his woman to allowhim the opportunity to have a
threesome.
So he kept opening it up.
Opening it up.

(59:05):
She agreed.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
What do you mean by opening it up, by presenting it
to her?

Speaker 2 (59:08):
Yeah.
So she agreed to it.
She was like yeah, let's do it.
So he met a chick Right andthey got cool.
They had the threesome.
She took his woman.
But I'm saying you're saying no, but see, that's a little bit

(59:29):
different.
No, no, no, he didn't want it tobe fortified, right, but he
also didn't do any.
He didn't have.
He didn't have a grip.
Instead of him getting tounderstand if his woman ever was
interested in women before, hebelieved that he was in control
of the situation.
He never even had a discussionreally with her.
This was about him, it wasn'tabout her Right.

(59:52):
So the tables turned on him.
I just brought that up to sayyou know, in certain
circumstances he may havethought he was in control, but
he wasn't.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
Right.
So yeah, man, we had aninteresting conversation here.
Man, you definitely got to be apart two.
Man, I want you to be afrequent flyer man.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
I'll come here, I'll come and blow it up Because we
be having to think about this Alot of discussions we do have
off and blow it up Because we behaving to think about this a
lot of discussions we do haveoff camera.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
We have a lot when we do speak.
We don't speak as often as weshould, but when we do have time
.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
You know what I mean.
The thing is we have a colorfulhistory.
We have a lot of content justbetween him and I.
Oh my goodness, we can't gointo the stories because they'll
be terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Oh man, you want to talk about one.
We can talk about one.
You talk about Q-Club, oh shoot.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
We got a lot of it.
We got history man.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
We got history man.
But yeah man.
So listen, I hope you be afrequent flyer man and maybe,
hey, if y'all like what he'ssaying, we could do a segment a
month just talking aboutdifferent, like current events
you know talking about.
He'll tell you the story.
He went when he went to theDiddy party.
He didn't really they didn'tlet me in.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
They didn't let me in .
He signed the.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
NDA so you know, so we're going to get that story
out of him.
But yeah, no, I'm just joking.
But so we're going to get thatstory out of him.
But yeah, no, I'm just joking.
But yeah, man, so, yeah.
So usually we give our partingwords, man, our parting words.
Well, my parting words is liketime waits for nobody, man.

(01:01:32):
And we got to actually prepare,prepare for the future, you
know, mentally and physically.
And you got to really, really,really take heed to your health,
man.
We spoke about the losing, howthis year alone was very, very,
very devastating.
We need to be mindful, man.
If it's not for you, do it foryour family, man, people around

(01:01:53):
you love you.
People around you love you.
You know, maybe you can't seeit, you can't see it, but trust
me, man, the people do love you.
People around you love you.
You know, maybe you can't seeit, you can't see it, but trust
me, man, the people do love you.
And you know, they say if youknew better, you'd do better man
.
So, yeah, people, be mindfulman.
Go see the doctor Colonoscopy,you don't got to be up to get
one now.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
Yes, somebody might have to be up for some people to
get one.
Oh shoot.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
I don't know, I don't know.
Oh my goodness, that wasdisgusting, I just caught it.
I caught what you said.
But yeah, so your closingstatement bro.

Speaker 2 (01:02:42):
Yeah, just to piggyback on that.
Man, just mind, body and soulis one one right.
So your mind got to be in theright place, you got to make
sure you take care of your bodyand, in turn, your soul will be
intact.
So, with that being said, mind,body and soul.
Keep that in mind.
Yes, peace and blessings forthe new year yes, man, it's the,
your opinion doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Podcast man and we are outie, peace, peace.