January 18, 2024 • 44 mins
Welcome to Your Sasstastic Life, a community for Gen X and Millennial women. Join us for funny and emotion packed conversations that women over 40 are facing. We are here to navigate midlife with you, support and encourage you with empathy and humor.
Strap on your roller skates and glide into a world of laughter, nostalgia, and the occasional stumble with us. As Wendi found herself rounding the bend of the big 5-0, she realized that life's shortness is not just a philosophical musing—it's a call to action. This episode is a mix of sass and sincerity, from the hilarity of mismatched shoes at the rollerskating rink to the profound moments of reflection on personal growth and the passage of time. Join us as we share stories about reclaiming joy in childhood pastimes and the unexpected life lessons discovered along the way.
Grief is a journey often walked in solitude, but in this conversation, we form a circle of support, sharing our strategies for coping and connecting to those we've lost. We discuss the quieter side of grief—when the initial chaos subsides, and the real work of healing begins. We also tackle the elephant in the room—social media—and its impact on our mental health during these times. No guests join us today; just raw, candid exchanges that celebrate the lives of our loved ones and explore the therapeutic acts of remembrance.
Feeling stuck can happen to anyone, but we've got your back with some simple yet effective tactics to kick those blues to the curb. We chat about the undeniable power of movement, the clarity of setting realistic goals, and the comfort found in community support. This episode is for anyone looking for inspiration to rediscover their authentic selves and push through the funk. So, let this be your invitation to take that small step, whether it's a coffee with a friend or just enjoying the freedom of rolling to the beat, and join us on this invigorating ride through life's ups and downs.
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Produced by Jason Fredregill - https://www.apexxcreative.vip
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Your sastastic life with hosts Tricia Rivas and
Wendy Fredrigo.
How's that, mr Producer?
Yeah, sound good.
Ready, freddie.
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Four, three, two, one Lift off.
We have a Check off.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Sorry, I don't know, that came on all of a sudden.
Sorry, it's Saturday, oh, I'msorry.
Hello, our sastastic friends,we hope you're having a sassy
Saturday.
Sassy Saturday, I love it Idon't, sassy.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Saturday we are back.
We are just ready to rip it.
Ready to rip it, rip it, rip itReal good.
Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Is that the song you hadrequested during roller skating?
No, I requested Control byJanet Jackson.
(01:21):
Yes, and Blame it on the Boogiefrom the Jacksons.
Oh, yes, yes.
So real quick.
The lovely Mel Guancey planneda girls night for us and we went
to the roller rink and ourfirst thought was fuck, we can't
fall.
You need Well, we all need ourhands, but I mean, that's your
(01:43):
moneymaker right there, and Ieven brought my walker.
I know, I was laughing so hard.
Just in case.
So unfortunately you weren'table to go, so you weren't able
to witness this, but I mean,here I am.
Well, first of all, I was soexcited to go.
I ran out the door.
I didn't realize, till I put onmy skates, that I had on
(02:03):
mismatched shoes.
That's awesome.
So I'm sitting in the booththing putting on the roller
skates and I was like I'm afraidI couldn't I was worried I
couldn't even get up.
Oh yeah, because I thought whenI got up they would roll and
I'd call the man.
So I was moving so slow,clutching the wall.
I had thought about getting oneof those things that the little
(02:26):
kids have and I just felt sooff and I was embarrassed, I
felt old and I just didn't wantto fall.
Were there a lot of peoplethere?
There was.
It was adult night.
Oh, yes, that's right.
Yes, that's right.
Then there's these people whoare hardcore, serious skaters.
Oh yeah, that's my uncle.
(02:47):
Just I was amazed they whizpast you and you're like yeah,
the roller skating backwards.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
They had their footwork Light up wheels.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
And so it was.
It's just, it's like life,right, I was scared and I just
focused on that.
And then, like all of a sudden,like this weird muscle memory
kicked in because I skated inour basement yes, in elementary
school, like we had skatingparties, like I loved skating.
(03:16):
So it was weird how, like allof a sudden, it was kind of
coming back to me.
But then I found, like then Iwanted to like dance to the
music and every time I would tryto start to dance I would
almost fall my brain's like I'mnot ready for that yet.
Let's get the footwork down.
So I was like who are yourdepends?
I should have?
(03:36):
Yeah, I would have had to.
So, but then by the end of thenight, like I wasn't like the
professionals, but like I wasable to kind of get off the wall
a little bit.
I wasn't on the wall, I wasgetting annoyed by the people on
the wall Like that, we're goinglike this.
I'm like get out of my way.
So it's like anything like it'sscary at first.
(03:57):
You need to hold onto the wall,you need to go really slow,
yeah, but uncomfortable.
It's uncomfortable,uncomfortable, but we quit
because it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Exactly, exactly.
But how many times have wetalked about there's so much
excitement in things that areuncomfortable too?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Right.
And then even like midwaythrough the lady's like, okay,
we're going to skate in theother direction now.
And it was funny because abunch of people were like Razzan
are like we all are switched.
And I'm like in my head I'mgoing.
I read somewhere that as youget older you need to switch.
You know it's good for yourbrain to do that.
So like if you go for a walkand you always turn right
(04:35):
outside your door, you need tomake sure you're trussed.
So in my mind I'm like, yes, mybrain needs this.
But it was funny because whenwe switched directions, all of a
sudden I felt shaky again.
Oh, yeah, yeah, right.
So it's like this huge epiphanyfor me to go roller skating.
I love it.
I do things that you did whenyou were a kid.
I feel that way when I playedtennis, like connecting with the
(04:56):
things you used to do.
Oh, so fun.
I'm like I was sweating my assoff.
My shins were killing me.
I have a blister on my foot.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I wonder what Mel's going to play in next month.
Well, I flat out told her.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Well, I flat out told her if you pick ice skating, I
can't do it.
Oh my God, it was too much.
Yeah, so I'll just sit andwatch, if that's what you guys
want to do, but anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
So talk about uncomfortable, as we were
talking about some things thatwe wanted to talk about this
morning.
How have you been feeling?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
The last few months have been rough and we hear it's
a test.
Talk about the hardship.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And it's been rough.
I turned 50, which is veryexciting, but also like whoa, so
yeah.
Yeah, I've really kind of beena funk.
I mean I'm coming out of it,yeah, but I've been in a little
funk.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
How are you the same?
The same when you were justtalking about turning 50,.
Jeremy and I went to see Stevie, next in Village Jewel and on
my bucket list forever.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
We had the most amazing time.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
But we stopped to see my grandparents and you don't
ever imagine at least for mepersonally your grandparents or
your parents getting old, yes,you know.
And so when it sets in, it'ssad, it's unnerving, it's scary
all of that.
And so we had a great time withmy grandma and grandpa and when
(06:30):
I got home, I was talking to mymom just because, again, been
very emotional lately, veryemotional lately, and I had said
to her I said, you know, Iwonder what age it is that you
get to and you start wonderingif I'm going to wake up you know
what I mean or if I'm going towake up and my significant other
is going to have passed away intheir sleep.
(06:50):
I know it sounds a little bitmorbid, but that is just where I
automatically just startedthinking about that.
Yes, and as we were on our wayup to Minneapolis, I was talking
to Jeremy about it too, and I'mcrying and whatnot, and I just
thought, wow, this life is soshort, wendy, in the grand
scheme of things it is.
It's just so freaking short.
(07:13):
You know it is, and we'llprobably just sit here both and
cry.
I am so stuck in worry.
Yeah, exactly Me too.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Me too.
And then I started thinkingyeah, I'm sure hospice nurses
don't hear someone say you knowdamn it.
I wish I would have worriedmore.
No, they don't.
I sure wish I would haveworried more.
No.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
No, no, no, and that's, I think.
Also, too, I've been cutting ahair for a lot of hospice
patients lately, which I lovedoing that, but it's just, it's
been sad, it has.
It's been sad because there arepeople that are our age, you
know, are in their significantothers taking care of them, or
(07:59):
their kids are taking care ofthem, you know, and then they
want to talk and they have thesestories, and for me, the
sadness has just been in thefact of that.
Life is just so short.
It really is, and I know thatyou can't focus on that, but
again, it's just where I'm atright now.
Yeah, and for me, just to bequite honest, you know, when you
(08:23):
lose someone as you know, youand Jason have lost someone in
the girls that you both justabsolutely love, love, love.
And that first year, you,you're staying busy.
You're keeping busy becausethere's things, there's things
that need to be tied up.
You're spending a lot of timewith friends and family.
(08:45):
And then the second year comesand it's like things are
starting to get back to there'snever a normal again, but a
routine.
And then it's like, oh fuck,like this person isn't coming
back, sucks.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, it does.
It sucks, and you, it's justhard.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
It is, it's very, very hard.
And it's hard to see once thatyou love in pain, you know, and
when you're trying to deal withyour own pain also, yeah, and
they're in much better placesand I find peace in that.
(09:33):
But the second year is just sohard.
It really is, it has just beenso hard?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Do you have days where you feel guilty that
you've gone back to normal?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Oh my gosh, yeah, um, you know, because for that full
year, you know, I was stoppingout at my parents every night to
see them and then again life,you know, had to get back into
some type of normalcy.
Yeah, and then, yeah, mostdefinitely not going out and
seeing them every night.
You know, I talk to my parentsevery day, but then that like
(10:09):
hits you too, like oh my gosh,what the hell are you going to
do?
Like, what am I going to dowhen my mom and dad are gone?
You know there's just a lot ofwhat ifs and I know you know
that you can't focus on that,but sometimes it's just
overwhelming.
Yeah, it really is.
And then, on top of everythingelse that you have going on in
your life you know what I meanwhat about?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
you, I think, with the last thing.
It's like, instead of being sadabout them being gone, like
just thinking of a memory.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Telling someone a story.
Oh, my gosh, just one time whenmy brother did this right, yeah
, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, you know, and again, for and for me too, it's
visiting Danny every week, youknow, and sharing that, and
sharing that because I don'twant his memory to ever be lost,
yeah, you know what I mean?
I really don't because he wasjust the most amazing, amazing
(11:09):
human, amazing human, and youknow, keeping that spirit alive
and going out and talking to him.
And you know, he shows us signsall the time.
He does, yeah, he does, heshows us, so does Grava Juni.
Yes, she does.
Oh yeah, I mean just like whatyou guys were, you guys in
Menards or Home Depot.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I can't remember when the song came on Hobby Lobby,
hobby Lobby, of all places HobbyLobby, the song that, one of
the songs we were going to playat her service.
Yeah, I was in Hobby Lobby toget, like, the guest book.
I don't know what I was therefor, but yeah, that song came on
, yeah, like yeah, yeah it is,it's hard, it is, it's hard,
(11:54):
it's devastating.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
But again, that's why we talk about Danny, I know,
that's why you guys talk aboutJudy all the time, because you
want to keep their memory alive,you want to keep their spirit
alive and it makes you smile andit makes you laugh.
I'm thinking of all the dumbshit, at least for Danny, that
you know he would do or say, oryou know, and he would get so
embarrassed by me and he wouldbe notorious to be like why do
(12:18):
you say that stuff?
Or he'd say to my sister andall Julie, or my mom, why does
she say that stuff?
And he turned like 50 shades ofred.
But yeah, it's just.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So you are definitely more like your dad.
He's more like your mom becauseyour mom is not like as
outwardly crazy as your dad.
Oh my gosh, absolutely, yeah,absolutely, absolutely.
So they probably would sitthere and just shake their heads
at you and your dad.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Oh yeah, yeah, you know.
And again there's just, thereis trauma with it that we're
healing from.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Honestly, it's just you know,it happened so sudden.
Yeah it did.
It happened so sudden.
And then you know Colton, ouroldest one, him and Danny.
I mean, danny was such a fatherfigure in his life, you know,
(13:08):
because I'd had him so young andColton was down at the hospital
with Julie, you know.
So there's, there's just a lot.
There's just a lot of stuffthat needs to, that is being
unpacked, wendy, yeah, does thatmake sense?
Yes, Like that, first year itwasn't and now it is, yeah, and
that's where the emotion iscoming in and the sadness.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
But you have to unpack that, yeah, and it takes
a while, I think, for the brainto compute.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
It does Right.
People just aren't healthyright now.
They're not.
They're not mental, mentallyhealthy, that's a big thing.
Physically healthy, financiallyhealthy, and it just starts to
take its toll.
Yeah, you know, it does itreally does.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
That's one of the reasons that I had to step away
from Facebook because honey yeah, for years.
And I did go off it for a whileand then I was back on and then
I was off.
Yeah, it wasn't healthy for me.
No, I tried all the things.
Yeah, I took the app off myphone, yep, so I could just go
to my desktop computer.
I said I'm just going to go inand check things and leave.
(14:15):
Yeah, and there are things thatI like about it, don't get me
wrong.
I love seeing how kids aregrowing up.
Yeah, all the stuff.
Yeah, for all the good thingsabout it.
Obviously, I think there aresome good things.
Yeah, but for me it was toomuch for my brain to be
(14:38):
processing everyone else's lives.
Yeah, yeah, and then I Emotions, and so then I felt like I
didn't have time for my life.
Yeah, and I already feeldifferent because I'm only
focused on my life.
Yeah, yeah, like, if you thinkabout it, when we were growing
up, you didn't know what wasgoing on in everyone's else's
(14:59):
life no, exactly and so I knewit wasn't healthy for me because
I was living too much in otherpeople's lives or seeing too
much of other people's lives,and in some cases it annoys the
fuck out of you because you'relike I know these things about
this person that I wouldn'tnormally know.
Yeah, or you see themdifferently.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yes, or you know, there's some people that just
talk about things on social thatyou're like I don't think you
should be talking about that,right?
Yes, so I just realized howmuch I wasn't being fully
present.
So in my own life, like I'vebeen reading books more, I've
been, you know, roller skating,roller skating, driving around,
(15:39):
you know, with my convertibletop down, exactly, yep.
So I don't know, I just it'slike it was too much.
I heard this Our brains weren'tmeant to handle what gets
thrown at us from our smallphone.
Our brains were not meant forthat.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
It's too much it is.
It is.
And you know, for me no, I havenot went completely off
Facebook but it's not what Ilook at first thing in the
morning.
It's not what I look at when Igo to bed.
It's not checking my emailsfirst thing in the morning
either.
You know, it's getting up andpraying and meditating and
saying my rosary and setting myintention for the day because I
(16:24):
just couldn't do it anymore.
Yeah, you know I couldn't.
It doesn't matter whatpositivity I had in the
algorithm, you know of what waspopping up.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
There were still things that were just like, oh
my gosh, and it literally wouldjust set the whole tone for the
day, because even if you'relooking at positive content,
sure as shit, there's someonedown below that says something.
You know, the little trolls.
And I think we forget, like wehave control over.
(16:54):
Yeah, we don't have control ofwhat people say on social, but
we have control if we evenfucking look at it.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
We forget that that we can, wedon't have to be on it.
So I think some of my Gen Xspirit came out like fuck this,
I loved it.
Who the fuck says I have to beon here?
I don't want to be, and I'veeven already had a few people
(17:15):
like, kind of give me a hardtime about it, yeah, but don't
you need it for this and don'tyou need it for that.
And it's like you know what, ifyou love our podcast, tell your
friends.
Yes, I'm not going to put allof my eggs in Facebook's basket,
no, and social media's basketand let them control who,
(17:36):
because I don't even know if thepeople are seeing it anyway.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, that's the thing that, yes, I know, I know
the control part of it.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So, yeah, just feeling controlled, I think I
just didn't like I want to havecontrol over what is going in
here.
Yes, because I'm 50 now and youknow not everything sticks in
there, so I had to have plentyof room, exactly Open.
So, funny thing, there's a linefrom Zoe's play that she was
just in, where she talks.
(18:04):
The character is says you know,it's like I'm reaching on the
shelf or something that used tobe there, but I don't know what
it is Like.
Yeah, even recall Like I usedto be able to throw out like
actors names, movie quotes, andI keep finding myself seeing
like before you could see it inyour brain but you couldn't say
(18:28):
it.
And now I'm even like it's likeblank.
I know it's like in the matrix.
When they're in like completelywhite room, I'm like how am I
not pulling this name out?
I know.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I know, but don't you think also that is because we
are so inundated with shit, toomuch information Every day, I
mean literally every day?
I exactly I feel the same waythat you do about that also.
It's just, it's made me attimes in my life where I
(18:59):
honestly feel like my empathybutton's broken Really.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I think that's exactly where I was, because I
found myself being very negativeabout people wanting to
withdraw, and that's not who Iam.
No, no.
And again, one of the thingsthat I've noticed in the last
week is when you're not onsocial media, you actually have
to work on your friendships.
(19:26):
Yeah, I think it's made us allreally lazy.
Yes, oh, my gosh.
Yeah, and people think well,because I'm seeing what Trish is
doing and I'm seeing thepictures, I know what's going on
in her life, so I don't need totext her, I don't need to call
her, I don't need to send her acard, because I already know
what's going on in her life.
Yes, so people have gone lazy.
(19:46):
Yes, they think that they'reyour friends and that that's a
relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I know, and it's not Wendy, it's not.
It's not a relationship that wethrive off of as humans.
I mean An emotionalrelationship.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So in the last week I thought who are some people
that I think I know fromFacebook but I haven't actually
really sat down with?
So I've met with like fourpeople last week, yeah, and one
person for three hours we talked.
Yes, I love that.
I've been on for four hours,yeah.
And what I noticed as I walkedin my car is we didn't take a
(20:19):
picture and post hey, we hadcoffee.
We just went to our car becauseit was for us.
We didn't have to tell thewhole world that we went and had
coffee.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
So, again, it's great .
It helps us spread the wordabout what we're doing.
We want to make people laugh.
That's what's good about it isthat we could have a funny video
that we post that maybe someoneis having a bad day and it
makes them laugh.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
So it's a tricky situation.
It is, it is, it is, but youknow what?
Again, you did what was bestfor you, and I think that's what
we need to get back to is thatwe don't have to do the norm,
and the norm is being on socialmedia.
We can go against the grain andthat's okay, because we want to
(21:08):
be the best, healthy version ofourselves, and if that means
not being on social media, thenthat's what it should be and
that should be supported.
Yeah, that should be supportive.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I enjoy Instagram.
I'm on Instagram, yes, yes, yes, yes.
But even that I'm trying tolike, not check it a lot.
So something that came up forme.
I think you've been in a funk.
I've been in a funk and I thinkour first thought is, like what
is wrong with me?
Yeah, yeah, but I realize yourbody is trying to tell you
(21:39):
something, yeah, like.
So my favorite question I heardrecently is we go straight to
that what's wrong with me?
What's right with me?
Yeah, yeah.
I woke up today I am still here,so not worrying about when
(22:02):
someone's going to die, like 30right now.
Yes, exactly, yeah, you know.
No, I think that's one of theamazing things that people say
yeah, like, did you say that tothem when they were here?
Yeah, yeah, I bet you anything.
The people are up therewatching their funeral going.
Who the hell is that person?
(22:23):
I didn't know that.
I'm like oh, thanks for sayingall those nice things, you never
told me that when I was there,you know yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
That's where I am at in my life.
That it's.
I just want everything to be sointentional.
Yes, because that makes sense.
Yeah, so, no, all very realWith that.
There'll be some situations thatare uncomfortable because not
everybody is at that place yet,and that's okay.
That's okay, and I'm talkingabout not even just personal,
(22:55):
but professional.
You know what I mean.
Where do I want to be at in 10years and again, and it's not
the future tripping is what Icall it, because I do try and I
have to work really hard at it.
I'm not doing that.
You know what I mean.
And focusing on the moment andfocusing on the moment, but as
(23:16):
generators and entrepreneurs andas a cancer and an enneagram
too, and you know I mean andjust being made the way that God
made me, that can be hard forme because it can become a
control thing that I feel like Ihave to control it.
Well, there's no fuckingcontrol.
There is no fucking controlwhatsoever.
(23:38):
So I need to just focus on whatI can, what I do have control
over, and that is me, me and howI react to things and how I.
How do I want to feel, how do Iwant to feel.
You know what I mean andapproaching that in the aspect
of with other people.
(23:59):
How would I want to feel if Iwas in that situation?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Or how do I want people to?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
feel after they spend time with me, Like when they
walk away from time with me.
How do I want them to feel?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just, I don't
know.
I don't know and I feel that Isay that to you a lot, but I do
know because I know how I'mfeeling but it's just, it's an
uncomfortable time right now.
It is lots of emotions, lots ofemotions, and I'm going to be
(24:32):
quite honest.
For me personally, covid did it, I do that is how I feel.
I feel like we were maybealready there on the verge and
then COVID literally just put usover the fucking hump.
Yeah, you know what I mean, andit's like people have forgotten
how to be human.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, the meanness, yes, yeah.
However, I will say, though,I've had times where I've been
in that mindset and soeverywhere I go, I see it, yeah,
but I will never forget therewas one time where I was just
kind of at that mountaintoppoint in my life, feeling really
good, feeling confident, and Ijust kind of had this Pollyanna
(25:15):
feeling of the world.
And I was at the airport andguess what?
I saw people being nice to eachother.
I saw, I saw all of the goodstuff.
So it's, you have to be socareful, like to not say that
all the time.
Yes, I have to stop and say,yes, you know what?
The world is amazing, the worldis huge.
(25:35):
Yes, there are amazing peopleout there.
Yeah, and my favorite thing Iheard in a sermon lately was,
like the best is yet to come,yeah, like you have to say that
because then you're searching,you know it's real.
It's just so easy to get caughtin a negative mindset.
It is, it is.
It really takes work.
It's not sad that it's easier.
(25:56):
Well, 80% of human thoughts arenegative.
I know Our brains are trainedto be safe.
Yes, yes, so safe would havebeen not strapping on roller
skates when you're 50.
Exactly, and you're klutzy.
Yep, yeah, like that would havebeen safe for me not to do that
, but doing that like was fun, Ifelt like a kid again.
The other thing that it wasnice is let me tell you I wasn't
(26:18):
thinking about anything else,yes, but my feet and my balance
for a good half hour, like therewas nothing else in my brain
but that.
Exactly, and that felt kind ofgood too, yeah, that just be
like, just be in my own world.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
So yeah, when I have to share this because this was a
moment that was just soabsolutely magical and wonderful
.
When you were talking aboutsermon, a couple weeks ago, I
got to be witness to one of myfriends that was baptized and
he's in his 50s, and it was thechurch down across from Smokey
(26:57):
Row, beautiful church, I mean,the stained glass windows.
They had people in the parkinglot greeting you.
I mean, it was just again.
The intention was so amazing.
As, jason, I keep on thinkingof the word authentic you could
tell that it was so authenticthat those people were doing
(27:19):
exactly what they wanted to bedoing, you know, greeting other
people.
And when I pulled in, you know,I with the Jeep and I have the
little peace sign they literallywere doing the peace sign to me
the whole time that I wasparking.
I got out of the Jeep and criedoh, literally cried, but it was
this cry of being authentic.
Well, you were being seen andbeing seen and just feeling
(27:43):
present.
And then we were all sittingthere and the sermon was
absolutely beautiful and therewere like eight to 12 people
that walk up the stairs and itis like the bathtub and they're
sitting above you and the pastorand then, I'm assuming,
(28:03):
assistant pastor, you know, bendthem back and they come up.
Every single one of themliterally comes just flying out
of the water with their hands up.
I mean it was just a sobbingmess.
But I have to tell you I hadnot felt that amount of release
(28:24):
in a long time and just felt sogood Again to be witness to
something that's just so amazing.
But I think I needed a good cry.
Yes, like cry where it's, likeugly snot crying.
I'm wiping it on my sleeve.
Got to take my coat to the drycleaner type of snot cry.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Right, well, but we hold so much emotion in because,
exactly, wendy, the issues arein the tissues, like that's a
funny saying I heard.
But you do not release them.
They stay in your body and ifyou hold on to those emotions
too long, it starts to manifestphysically.
I read like 98% of disease,stem, is stress.
(29:04):
Yeah, like, yeah.
We're human beings that havefeelings and emotions.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
We are, and for me personally and no one has made
me feel like this I have takenthis on myself.
I there are many times where Ifeel like I have to be the
strong one.
Yes, I do.
I seen this meme the other dayand it said why does the, why
does the dog, why does thefirstborn always feel like they
are the manager?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yes, and I laugh because it's like the second mom
.
Yes, because I was like, oh mygosh, that is so true.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yes, it is so true.
And again, nobody has put thaton me except myself, and so when
I finally do have a release,it's just like yeah, a good cry
solves a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I think it really does.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yeah, it does, and maybe that's what we need to be
doing more.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah, just having good cries For real you know, oh
, I know, when you're in a funkand you're hearing people like
it's kind of hard.
When you're in it, yes, you'relike really fucking annoyed by
people telling you you know.
So it's like I was thinkingabout that.
Like, when you're in that, Ithink that's kind of when we
(30:19):
don't need someone like throwingadvice at us or telling us what
we should do or shouldn't do.
So it kind of made me step backand think okay, really, when
you're feeling like that, youjust need someone to listen.
Yeah, give support, givesupport.
Like just just listen, yeah,yeah, and let them bent and get
(30:42):
it out.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
But then I also think it's real easy to then get
sucked into that and just likekind of beat the dead horse and
keep like so it's like how canwe it's a very fine line to
listen but also like be like,okay, we've been feeling like
shit, but yes, you know.
So, even just a reframe, likeyeah, okay, yes, we don't like
(31:07):
to think about our parentspassing away, but it's going to
happen.
We don't like to think aboutourselves, but it's going to
happen.
But it's like they're here.
Yes, exactly, exactly, so likeliterally today like they're,
here.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
So enjoy them.
Yeah, yeah, and it was like forme.
So I was at my parentsyesterday and just talking to
them about all this stuff, andmy dad literally looked at me I
kid you not and he's like, haveyou forgotten who you are?
And I was just like, well, dad,what do you mean?
(31:42):
And it was more of his hardlove, but it was more like snap
out of it.
You know what I mean.
I'm going to give you the grace.
I've given you the grace.
I don't understand how you'refeeling, but you're here, life
goes on, and have you forgottenwho's fucking daughter you are?
Yeah, and again I cried.
You know what I mean, but itwas just so true.
(32:05):
It was so true.
I've never given up on anything.
You know what I mean, even whenit is fucking hard or even when
it is uncomfortable.
But sometimes you need to havethose people too that have your
back and love you for who youare to also call you out on your
bullshit.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like Rafiki and the Lion King,exactly, and he bonks them over
the head.
Yes, exactly, exactly.
He's like remember who you are.
I mean, yeah, that gets meevery time it does.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
It does because everybody has shit, yes, and
sometimes it's harder thanothers at times and things are
sad.
You know what I mean.
Things are sad.
You know.
My mom has said to me whenpeople will ask you know, how
are you and Rick doing?
And she's like sometimes I justwant to fucking scream how do
you think I'm doing?
(32:56):
We have lost a child.
That is not how it is supposedto be in life.
You know what I mean.
So for me it's just I know whatmy own pain is and then to
think about what my parents'pain is, or Julie, or my niece
and nephew, it's devastating tome it is.
But again, we're here.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yes, we're here.
We're here, and I imagine yourbrother is up there shaking his
head.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yes, that's why he shows us signs all the time,
like you guys.
Yes, yep, that's okay.
Yes, wendy, my brother is insuch a better, better place.
You know what I mean.
A better place?
Yeah, I mean we there were.
That was when I'd think of it.
But you never know, when myson's orphaned, it's torturous
(33:43):
sometimes, down here it is, andI'm not saying that bad, that's
just life.
You know what I mean.
But how amazing is it to knowthat when this body leaves this
earth, that where we're going,you know there's peace in that
and that is where I find peacewith for my brother.
But again, we're going to havethose moments we are.
Sadness is sadness.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, I think I'm still living here.
It'd be concerning if youweren't upset when someone's
gone.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Gosh, yes, yes.
And then you can get into theroutine of I wish I would have
done this, I wish I would havesaid that or this.
Now you know what?
Again, that's life.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
But then we just need to make sure we're saying those
things to the people that arehere.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Exactly, exactly.
So, like this morning, I waslike, when I was thinking about
coming to the podcast and doingthe podcast, I'm like you know
what, what a blessing this is Tostart our day doing something
that we love.
You know what I mean Doingsomething that we love and we
can share, and we can beauthentic and have Jason share
(34:48):
his beautiful self and you and Ibe able to talk.
That is a blessing.
That is a blessing, andsometimes, again, we just get
caught up in the fact of shit isshit.
Right now, exactly, you know,it is Next.
Seriously, shit is shit, youknow.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, shit is shit, but we don't want to focus on
shit, we want to focus on joy.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yes, right, yes, yes, and laugh, yes, and be able to
laugh at ourselves yes, you knowwhat I mean and be able to
laugh at ourselves and to beable to say no, yeah, to be able
to say no to things too.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I feel like, for anyone who's feeling like in a
funk, to me, really, the onlything that helps get you out of
it is you have to move.
Yes, oh my gosh.
Yes, I'm not saying you have togo and run, I actually said,
but you have to be in action.
Yes, you have to do somethingand you have to set a tiny goal.
Like I'm going to shower today.
Yes, like there's nothing likea good shower.
(35:48):
Right, I'm going to make youknow.
Like just focusing on littletasks.
Yes, yes, because you can't gofrom being depressed to joyful
in five seconds.
That's not how the mind works,so it's like thinking about
things.
What did you do as a kid thatyou loved?
I loved roller skating.
I played tennis.
Like tap into those things.
(36:09):
Like you know, I haven't beenreading books.
I've read a few books that justmake me laugh and you escape
for a while.
Yes, yes, in some cases.
If you can't do that, then like, just go do something for
someone else.
Yeah, like you just have to get.
It's just so easy to stay stuck.
The only way you get unstuck isto just move.
(36:33):
Yeah, so like, if all you wantto do is sleep, then maybe go
sit on the couch, yes, even justmove to another room.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and open up a window just
for some fresh air.
Yes, or you know for me that'sgetting in the car.
You know I love to just get inthe car and drive.
You know I'll go to a park orsomewhere where there's nature,
or you know that's what helps mepersonally.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
You know my goodness.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I had Miley Cyrus just on full blast this morning
on my way over here.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
You know, just rocking it out and singing as
loud as possible and have on thewind in your hair.
I mean, we have cars now thatyou can have your stuff off and
like, oh, just having your hairblow in the wind.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I love, though, that you said to doing something for
someone else, because I've again, personal opinion is society.
I think that we become very,very selfish, very, very selfish
, and we're not supposed to livelike that.
It truly takes a village.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Well, that's why we didn't do it during COVID.
We're not meant to just stay athome and not do anything.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
No, yes, no, no, no.
It takes a village and my God,I thank literally God every day
for the village that I have.
You know what I mean?
Because I would be lost, Iwould be, yeah, I would be.
So thank goodness for thevillages that we have, that's
for sure, for the village people, the village Y-M-C-Y.
(38:04):
But I'm like that's the stuffthat I want to do.
You know what I mean.
I know the stuff that will makeme happy and the collaborations
and just doing fun.
Stupid, fucking, silly shit.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Oh, I love it.
I love fun stuff.
Yes, I will never act my age.
No, no, I mean I wore an elfcostume and went around to join
a creak mall.
Exactly, it was fun.
Yeah, I mean it was fun.
Yeah, but again, it wasinteresting to me how many
people didn't even notice me ordidn't pay attention.
(38:39):
Yeah, like everybody's in theirown little world.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Or they did see me, but theythought I was lunatic.
We're like I'm not going tolook at her.
I'm not going to look at her.
They had secondhandembarrassment is what I call it.
Secondhand embarrassment.
It was so great because all thekids were like to wrap this up.
What advice would you givepeople who are stuck right now
(39:01):
or who have had a loss thatthey're having a hard time?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Yeah, again, it's the village thing.
For me it is, it's a villagething.
So what if they don't have avillage?
Yeah Well, you and I can be avillage.
You know what I mean, honestly,you know.
Even if it's just hey, can wemeet for coffee?
You know what I mean?
Can we meet for lunch?
I literally just need someoneto talk to.
(39:32):
The fact of anybody being aloneis devastating, for me.
It is.
It's heartbreaking to me, butwhat you said move, just move.
Whatever that might be, justmove.
And for me personally, it'sjust being around people that I
(39:54):
love and that love me.
Yeah, you know, honestly, andlots of prayers.
Church is always a good thingfor me when I'm in that place,
going and sitting at theadoration chapel saying my
rosary, those are the thingsthat help me.
Honestly.
They make it better, because Istill am in a funk.
(40:17):
You know what I mean, but I'mstarting to come out of it.
I am, I'm starting to come outof it, and when you start to
come out of it, things becomeclearer too.
They do, and for me personally,it's just there's just a lot of
shit that I got to get out ofthe way.
So for me, I mean not doing somuch.
(40:38):
Networking right now has beenmy biggest thing, and I love
people and I love to network.
But I need just some me timeright now just to focus on me
and how I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
But I think it's important for us to bring up
like you've got to seek out help.
Yes, oh my gosh, you got to getout and meet people and you
know, if you're not someone thathas this huge circle of friends
, just reach out like, yes,going to a support group, or yes
, meeting with a counselor,whatever that is, don't hold it
(41:13):
in.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yes, don't hold it in , and it goes in.
It does truly go in phases.
It does, like I said that firstyear, you know you're just kind
of thinking to yourself, well,this isn't real.
You know it'll come walkingthrough the door and then you
know time goes on and then youstart to unpack things, which is
healthy but uncomfortable and alot of sadness.
(41:35):
But yeah, I had.
I've been seeing this quotelately and it talks about with
grief is just the absence, or anabsent of, or the presence of,
an amazing love.
You know what I mean and everytime I see it it's like that is
so true, that is, it is just sotrue, but you also have to seek
(42:00):
out joy.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
I'm getting joy driving around in my car, yes,
joy, roller skates, joy, yep,being around little kids and the
funny stuff that they say, yes,exactly Like you have to seek
that out, you do.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
You do.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
And you have to create it.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, I know this isn'tnormally like what our episodes
are like, but you know we wantto talk about the hardship and
everybody experiences loss andexperiences grief and sadness
and and funks you know, andfunks and find yourself funny
(42:37):
friends.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I have met a few new people that I was like they are
hilarious.
I've got to have more peoplelike that in my life.
Yeah, that are funny.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Yes, exactly.
Yes, yes, I mean just as longas they don't replace me.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
But you know I mean as long as they don't outshine
me the kids.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Okay, I mean I'm just out of my spotlight.
I'm just saying you're stuckwith me.
Is what I meant?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Well, we hope that this has been helpful.
Yes, for people, but we'regoing to keep spreading joy.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Yes, we are honey.
Yep, we're going to keepspreading joy, and even if we
sometimes do it with tears orwe're inappropriate, or oh God,
yes Childlike or like 12 yearold boys.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
That's.
That's what we're going to do,exactly, exactly.
Our big ask is that, hey, ifyou enjoy our show, tell your
friends.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yes, spread the word Yep.
And where can they find us?
And listen to us and see us,and you know the best thing is
to just go to our website.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Yep, agreed your sas-tasticlifecom.
There's no algorithm there, asfar as I know.
You go there.
All the episodes are there.
You can listen straight on ourwebsite.
We always have the most recentepisode at the bottom that you
can watch, and yeah, so that'swhat we would love.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Just tell your friends Love it.
Have an amazing day.
Bye.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
Bye.
I couldn't stop crying.
Your sas-tastic life isproduced by ApexVO.
Go to apexvocom.
It's A-P-E-X-X-V-O.
Your sastastic life with hosts Tricia Rivas and
Wendy Fredrigo.
How's that, mr Producer?
Yeah, sound good.
Ready, freddie.
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Four, three, two, one Lift off.
We have a Check off.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Sorry, I don't know, that came on all of a sudden.
Sorry, it's Saturday, oh, I'msorry.
Hello, our sastastic friends,we hope you're having a sassy
Saturday.
Sassy Saturday, I love it Idon't, sassy.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Saturday we are back.
We are just ready to rip it.
Ready to rip it, rip it, rip itReal good.
Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Is that the song you hadrequested during roller skating?
No, I requested Control byJanet Jackson.
(01:21):
Yes, and Blame it on the Boogiefrom the Jacksons.
Oh, yes, yes.
So real quick.
The lovely Mel Guancey planneda girls night for us and we went
to the roller rink and ourfirst thought was fuck, we can't
fall.
You need Well, we all need ourhands, but I mean, that's your
(01:43):
moneymaker right there, and Ieven brought my walker.
I know, I was laughing so hard.
Just in case.
So unfortunately you weren'table to go, so you weren't able
to witness this, but I mean,here I am.
Well, first of all, I was soexcited to go.
I ran out the door.
I didn't realize, till I put onmy skates, that I had on
(02:03):
mismatched shoes.
That's awesome.
So I'm sitting in the booththing putting on the roller
skates and I was like I'm afraidI couldn't I was worried I
couldn't even get up.
Oh yeah, because I thought whenI got up they would roll and
I'd call the man.
So I was moving so slow,clutching the wall.
I had thought about getting oneof those things that the little
(02:26):
kids have and I just felt sooff and I was embarrassed, I
felt old and I just didn't wantto fall.
Were there a lot of peoplethere?
There was.
It was adult night.
Oh, yes, that's right.
Yes, that's right.
Then there's these people whoare hardcore, serious skaters.
Oh yeah, that's my uncle.
(02:47):
Just I was amazed they whizpast you and you're like yeah,
the roller skating backwards.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
They had their footwork Light up wheels.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
And so it was.
It's just, it's like life,right, I was scared and I just
focused on that.
And then, like all of a sudden,like this weird muscle memory
kicked in because I skated inour basement yes, in elementary
school, like we had skatingparties, like I loved skating.
(03:16):
So it was weird how, like allof a sudden, it was kind of
coming back to me.
But then I found, like then Iwanted to like dance to the
music and every time I would tryto start to dance I would
almost fall my brain's like I'mnot ready for that yet.
Let's get the footwork down.
So I was like who are yourdepends?
I should have?
(03:36):
Yeah, I would have had to.
So, but then by the end of thenight, like I wasn't like the
professionals, but like I wasable to kind of get off the wall
a little bit.
I wasn't on the wall, I wasgetting annoyed by the people on
the wall Like that, we're goinglike this.
I'm like get out of my way.
So it's like anything like it'sscary at first.
(03:57):
You need to hold onto the wall,you need to go really slow,
yeah, but uncomfortable.
It's uncomfortable,uncomfortable, but we quit
because it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Exactly, exactly.
But how many times have wetalked about there's so much
excitement in things that areuncomfortable too?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Right.
And then even like midwaythrough the lady's like, okay,
we're going to skate in theother direction now.
And it was funny because abunch of people were like Razzan
are like we all are switched.
And I'm like in my head I'mgoing.
I read somewhere that as youget older you need to switch.
You know it's good for yourbrain to do that.
So like if you go for a walkand you always turn right
(04:35):
outside your door, you need tomake sure you're trussed.
So in my mind I'm like, yes, mybrain needs this.
But it was funny because whenwe switched directions, all of a
sudden I felt shaky again.
Oh, yeah, yeah, right.
So it's like this huge epiphanyfor me to go roller skating.
I love it.
I do things that you did whenyou were a kid.
I feel that way when I playedtennis, like connecting with the
(04:56):
things you used to do.
Oh, so fun.
I'm like I was sweating my assoff.
My shins were killing me.
I have a blister on my foot.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I wonder what Mel's going to play in next month.
Well, I flat out told her.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Well, I flat out told her if you pick ice skating, I
can't do it.
Oh my God, it was too much.
Yeah, so I'll just sit andwatch, if that's what you guys
want to do, but anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
So talk about uncomfortable, as we were
talking about some things thatwe wanted to talk about this
morning.
How have you been feeling?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
The last few months have been rough and we hear it's
a test.
Talk about the hardship.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And it's been rough.
I turned 50, which is veryexciting, but also like whoa, so
yeah.
Yeah, I've really kind of beena funk.
I mean I'm coming out of it,yeah, but I've been in a little
funk.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
How are you the same?
The same when you were justtalking about turning 50,.
Jeremy and I went to see Stevie, next in Village Jewel and on
my bucket list forever.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
We had the most amazing time.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
But we stopped to see my grandparents and you don't
ever imagine at least for mepersonally your grandparents or
your parents getting old, yes,you know.
And so when it sets in, it'ssad, it's unnerving, it's scary
all of that.
And so we had a great time withmy grandma and grandpa and when
(06:30):
I got home, I was talking to mymom just because, again, been
very emotional lately, veryemotional lately, and I had said
to her I said, you know, Iwonder what age it is that you
get to and you start wonderingif I'm going to wake up you know
what I mean or if I'm going towake up and my significant other
is going to have passed away intheir sleep.
(06:50):
I know it sounds a little bitmorbid, but that is just where I
automatically just startedthinking about that.
Yes, and as we were on our wayup to Minneapolis, I was talking
to Jeremy about it too, and I'mcrying and whatnot, and I just
thought, wow, this life is soshort, wendy, in the grand
scheme of things it is.
It's just so freaking short.
(07:13):
You know it is, and we'llprobably just sit here both and
cry.
I am so stuck in worry.
Yeah, exactly Me too.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Me too.
And then I started thinkingyeah, I'm sure hospice nurses
don't hear someone say you knowdamn it.
I wish I would have worriedmore.
No, they don't.
I sure wish I would haveworried more.
No.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
No, no, no, and that's, I think.
Also, too, I've been cutting ahair for a lot of hospice
patients lately, which I lovedoing that, but it's just, it's
been sad, it has.
It's been sad because there arepeople that are our age, you
know, are in their significantothers taking care of them, or
(07:59):
their kids are taking care ofthem, you know, and then they
want to talk and they have thesestories, and for me, the
sadness has just been in thefact of that.
Life is just so short.
It really is, and I know thatyou can't focus on that, but
again, it's just where I'm atright now.
Yeah, and for me, just to bequite honest, you know, when you
(08:23):
lose someone as you know, youand Jason have lost someone in
the girls that you both justabsolutely love, love, love.
And that first year, you,you're staying busy.
You're keeping busy becausethere's things, there's things
that need to be tied up.
You're spending a lot of timewith friends and family.
(08:45):
And then the second year comesand it's like things are
starting to get back to there'snever a normal again, but a
routine.
And then it's like, oh fuck,like this person isn't coming
back, sucks.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, it does.
It sucks, and you, it's justhard.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
It is, it's very, very hard.
And it's hard to see once thatyou love in pain, you know, and
when you're trying to deal withyour own pain also, yeah, and
they're in much better placesand I find peace in that.
(09:33):
But the second year is just sohard.
It really is, it has just beenso hard?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Do you have days where you feel guilty that
you've gone back to normal?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Oh my gosh, yeah, um, you know, because for that full
year, you know, I was stoppingout at my parents every night to
see them and then again life,you know, had to get back into
some type of normalcy.
Yeah, and then, yeah, mostdefinitely not going out and
seeing them every night.
You know, I talk to my parentsevery day, but then that like
(10:09):
hits you too, like oh my gosh,what the hell are you going to
do?
Like, what am I going to dowhen my mom and dad are gone?
You know there's just a lot ofwhat ifs and I know you know
that you can't focus on that,but sometimes it's just
overwhelming.
Yeah, it really is.
And then, on top of everythingelse that you have going on in
your life you know what I meanwhat about?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
you, I think, with the last thing.
It's like, instead of being sadabout them being gone, like
just thinking of a memory.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Telling someone a story.
Oh, my gosh, just one time whenmy brother did this right, yeah
, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, you know, and again, for and for me too, it's
visiting Danny every week, youknow, and sharing that, and
sharing that because I don'twant his memory to ever be lost,
yeah, you know what I mean?
I really don't because he wasjust the most amazing, amazing
(11:09):
human, amazing human, and youknow, keeping that spirit alive
and going out and talking to him.
And you know, he shows us signsall the time.
He does, yeah, he does, heshows us, so does Grava Juni.
Yes, she does.
Oh yeah, I mean just like whatyou guys were, you guys in
Menards or Home Depot.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I can't remember when the song came on Hobby Lobby,
hobby Lobby, of all places HobbyLobby, the song that, one of
the songs we were going to playat her service.
Yeah, I was in Hobby Lobby toget, like, the guest book.
I don't know what I was therefor, but yeah, that song came on
, yeah, like yeah, yeah it is,it's hard, it is, it's hard,
(11:54):
it's devastating.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
But again, that's why we talk about Danny, I know,
that's why you guys talk aboutJudy all the time, because you
want to keep their memory alive,you want to keep their spirit
alive and it makes you smile andit makes you laugh.
I'm thinking of all the dumbshit, at least for Danny, that
you know he would do or say, oryou know, and he would get so
embarrassed by me and he wouldbe notorious to be like why do
(12:18):
you say that stuff?
Or he'd say to my sister andall Julie, or my mom, why does
she say that stuff?
And he turned like 50 shades ofred.
But yeah, it's just.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So you are definitely more like your dad.
He's more like your mom becauseyour mom is not like as
outwardly crazy as your dad.
Oh my gosh, absolutely, yeah,absolutely, absolutely.
So they probably would sitthere and just shake their heads
at you and your dad.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Oh yeah, yeah, you know.
And again there's just, thereis trauma with it that we're
healing from.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Honestly, it's just you know,it happened so sudden.
Yeah it did.
It happened so sudden.
And then you know Colton, ouroldest one, him and Danny.
I mean, danny was such a fatherfigure in his life, you know,
(13:08):
because I'd had him so young andColton was down at the hospital
with Julie, you know.
So there's, there's just a lot.
There's just a lot of stuffthat needs to, that is being
unpacked, wendy, yeah, does thatmake sense?
Yes, Like that, first year itwasn't and now it is, yeah, and
that's where the emotion iscoming in and the sadness.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
But you have to unpack that, yeah, and it takes
a while, I think, for the brainto compute.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
It does Right.
People just aren't healthyright now.
They're not.
They're not mental, mentallyhealthy, that's a big thing.
Physically healthy, financiallyhealthy, and it just starts to
take its toll.
Yeah, you know, it does itreally does.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
That's one of the reasons that I had to step away
from Facebook because honey yeah, for years.
And I did go off it for a whileand then I was back on and then
I was off.
Yeah, it wasn't healthy for me.
No, I tried all the things.
Yeah, I took the app off myphone, yep, so I could just go
to my desktop computer.
I said I'm just going to go inand check things and leave.
(14:15):
Yeah, and there are things thatI like about it, don't get me
wrong.
I love seeing how kids aregrowing up.
Yeah, all the stuff.
Yeah, for all the good thingsabout it.
Obviously, I think there aresome good things.
Yeah, but for me it was toomuch for my brain to be
(14:38):
processing everyone else's lives.
Yeah, yeah, and then I Emotions, and so then I felt like I
didn't have time for my life.
Yeah, and I already feeldifferent because I'm only
focused on my life.
Yeah, yeah, like, if you thinkabout it, when we were growing
up, you didn't know what wasgoing on in everyone's else's
(14:59):
life no, exactly and so I knewit wasn't healthy for me because
I was living too much in otherpeople's lives or seeing too
much of other people's lives,and in some cases it annoys the
fuck out of you because you'relike I know these things about
this person that I wouldn'tnormally know.
Yeah, or you see themdifferently.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yes, or you know, there's some people that just
talk about things on social thatyou're like I don't think you
should be talking about that,right?
Yes, so I just realized howmuch I wasn't being fully
present.
So in my own life, like I'vebeen reading books more, I've
been, you know, roller skating,roller skating, driving around,
(15:39):
you know, with my convertibletop down, exactly, yep.
So I don't know, I just it'slike it was too much.
I heard this Our brains weren'tmeant to handle what gets
thrown at us from our smallphone.
Our brains were not meant forthat.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
It's too much it is.
It is.
And you know, for me no, I havenot went completely off
Facebook but it's not what Ilook at first thing in the
morning.
It's not what I look at when Igo to bed.
It's not checking my emailsfirst thing in the morning
either.
You know, it's getting up andpraying and meditating and
saying my rosary and setting myintention for the day because I
(16:24):
just couldn't do it anymore.
Yeah, you know I couldn't.
It doesn't matter whatpositivity I had in the
algorithm, you know of what waspopping up.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
There were still things that were just like, oh
my gosh, and it literally wouldjust set the whole tone for the
day, because even if you'relooking at positive content,
sure as shit, there's someonedown below that says something.
You know, the little trolls.
And I think we forget, like wehave control over.
(16:54):
Yeah, we don't have control ofwhat people say on social, but
we have control if we evenfucking look at it.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
We forget that that we can, wedon't have to be on it.
So I think some of my Gen Xspirit came out like fuck this,
I loved it.
Who the fuck says I have to beon here?
I don't want to be, and I'veeven already had a few people
(17:15):
like, kind of give me a hardtime about it, yeah, but don't
you need it for this and don'tyou need it for that.
And it's like you know what, ifyou love our podcast, tell your
friends.
Yes, I'm not going to put allof my eggs in Facebook's basket,
no, and social media's basketand let them control who,
(17:36):
because I don't even know if thepeople are seeing it anyway.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, that's the thing that, yes, I know, I know
the control part of it.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So, yeah, just feeling controlled, I think I
just didn't like I want to havecontrol over what is going in
here.
Yes, because I'm 50 now and youknow not everything sticks in
there, so I had to have plentyof room, exactly Open.
So, funny thing, there's a linefrom Zoe's play that she was
just in, where she talks.
(18:04):
The character is says you know,it's like I'm reaching on the
shelf or something that used tobe there, but I don't know what
it is Like.
Yeah, even recall Like I usedto be able to throw out like
actors names, movie quotes, andI keep finding myself seeing
like before you could see it inyour brain but you couldn't say
(18:28):
it.
And now I'm even like it's likeblank.
I know it's like in the matrix.
When they're in like completelywhite room, I'm like how am I
not pulling this name out?
I know.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I know, but don't you think also that is because we
are so inundated with shit, toomuch information Every day, I
mean literally every day?
I exactly I feel the same waythat you do about that also.
It's just, it's made me attimes in my life where I
(18:59):
honestly feel like my empathybutton's broken Really.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I think that's exactly where I was, because I
found myself being very negativeabout people wanting to
withdraw, and that's not who Iam.
No, no.
And again, one of the thingsthat I've noticed in the last
week is when you're not onsocial media, you actually have
to work on your friendships.
(19:26):
Yeah, I think it's made us allreally lazy.
Yes, oh, my gosh.
Yeah, and people think well,because I'm seeing what Trish is
doing and I'm seeing thepictures, I know what's going on
in her life, so I don't need totext her, I don't need to call
her, I don't need to send her acard, because I already know
what's going on in her life.
Yes, so people have gone lazy.
(19:46):
Yes, they think that they'reyour friends and that that's a
relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I know, and it's not Wendy, it's not.
It's not a relationship that wethrive off of as humans.
I mean An emotionalrelationship.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So in the last week I thought who are some people
that I think I know fromFacebook but I haven't actually
really sat down with?
So I've met with like fourpeople last week, yeah, and one
person for three hours we talked.
Yes, I love that.
I've been on for four hours,yeah.
And what I noticed as I walkedin my car is we didn't take a
(20:19):
picture and post hey, we hadcoffee.
We just went to our car becauseit was for us.
We didn't have to tell thewhole world that we went and had
coffee.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
So, again, it's great .
It helps us spread the wordabout what we're doing.
We want to make people laugh.
That's what's good about it isthat we could have a funny video
that we post that maybe someoneis having a bad day and it
makes them laugh.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
So it's a tricky situation.
It is, it is, it is, but youknow what?
Again, you did what was bestfor you, and I think that's what
we need to get back to is thatwe don't have to do the norm,
and the norm is being on socialmedia.
We can go against the grain andthat's okay, because we want to
(21:08):
be the best, healthy version ofourselves, and if that means
not being on social media, thenthat's what it should be and
that should be supported.
Yeah, that should be supportive.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I enjoy Instagram.
I'm on Instagram, yes, yes, yes, yes.
But even that I'm trying tolike, not check it a lot.
So something that came up forme.
I think you've been in a funk.
I've been in a funk and I thinkour first thought is, like what
is wrong with me?
Yeah, yeah, but I realize yourbody is trying to tell you
(21:39):
something, yeah, like.
So my favorite question I heardrecently is we go straight to
that what's wrong with me?
What's right with me?
Yeah, yeah.
I woke up today I am still here,so not worrying about when
(22:02):
someone's going to die, like 30right now.
Yes, exactly, yeah, you know.
No, I think that's one of theamazing things that people say
yeah, like, did you say that tothem when they were here?
Yeah, yeah, I bet you anything.
The people are up therewatching their funeral going.
Who the hell is that person?
(22:23):
I didn't know that.
I'm like oh, thanks for sayingall those nice things, you never
told me that when I was there,you know yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
That's where I am at in my life.
That it's.
I just want everything to be sointentional.
Yes, because that makes sense.
Yeah, so, no, all very realWith that.
There'll be some situations thatare uncomfortable because not
everybody is at that place yet,and that's okay.
That's okay, and I'm talkingabout not even just personal,
(22:55):
but professional.
You know what I mean.
Where do I want to be at in 10years and again, and it's not
the future tripping is what Icall it, because I do try and I
have to work really hard at it.
I'm not doing that.
You know what I mean.
And focusing on the moment andfocusing on the moment, but as
(23:16):
generators and entrepreneurs andas a cancer and an enneagram
too, and you know I mean andjust being made the way that God
made me, that can be hard forme because it can become a
control thing that I feel like Ihave to control it.
Well, there's no fuckingcontrol.
There is no fucking controlwhatsoever.
(23:38):
So I need to just focus on whatI can, what I do have control
over, and that is me, me and howI react to things and how I.
How do I want to feel, how do Iwant to feel.
You know what I mean andapproaching that in the aspect
of with other people.
(23:59):
How would I want to feel if Iwas in that situation?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Or how do I want people to?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
feel after they spend time with me, Like when they
walk away from time with me.
How do I want them to feel?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just, I don't
know.
I don't know and I feel that Isay that to you a lot, but I do
know because I know how I'mfeeling but it's just, it's an
uncomfortable time right now.
It is lots of emotions, lots ofemotions, and I'm going to be
(24:32):
quite honest.
For me personally, covid did it, I do that is how I feel.
I feel like we were maybealready there on the verge and
then COVID literally just put usover the fucking hump.
Yeah, you know what I mean, andit's like people have forgotten
how to be human.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, the meanness, yes, yeah.
However, I will say, though,I've had times where I've been
in that mindset and soeverywhere I go, I see it, yeah,
but I will never forget therewas one time where I was just
kind of at that mountaintoppoint in my life, feeling really
good, feeling confident, and Ijust kind of had this Pollyanna
(25:15):
feeling of the world.
And I was at the airport andguess what?
I saw people being nice to eachother.
I saw, I saw all of the goodstuff.
So it's, you have to be socareful, like to not say that
all the time.
Yes, I have to stop and say,yes, you know what?
The world is amazing, the worldis huge.
(25:35):
Yes, there are amazing peopleout there.
Yeah, and my favorite thing Iheard in a sermon lately was,
like the best is yet to come,yeah, like you have to say that
because then you're searching,you know it's real.
It's just so easy to get caughtin a negative mindset.
It is, it is.
It really takes work.
It's not sad that it's easier.
(25:56):
Well, 80% of human thoughts arenegative.
I know Our brains are trainedto be safe.
Yes, yes, so safe would havebeen not strapping on roller
skates when you're 50.
Exactly, and you're klutzy.
Yep, yeah, like that would havebeen safe for me not to do that
, but doing that like was fun, Ifelt like a kid again.
The other thing that it wasnice is let me tell you I wasn't
(26:18):
thinking about anything else,yes, but my feet and my balance
for a good half hour, like therewas nothing else in my brain
but that.
Exactly, and that felt kind ofgood too, yeah, that just be
like, just be in my own world.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
So yeah, when I have to share this because this was a
moment that was just soabsolutely magical and wonderful
.
When you were talking aboutsermon, a couple weeks ago, I
got to be witness to one of myfriends that was baptized and
he's in his 50s, and it was thechurch down across from Smokey
(26:57):
Row, beautiful church, I mean,the stained glass windows.
They had people in the parkinglot greeting you.
I mean, it was just again.
The intention was so amazing.
As, jason, I keep on thinkingof the word authentic you could
tell that it was so authenticthat those people were doing
(27:19):
exactly what they wanted to bedoing, you know, greeting other
people.
And when I pulled in, you know,I with the Jeep and I have the
little peace sign they literallywere doing the peace sign to me
the whole time that I wasparking.
I got out of the Jeep and criedoh, literally cried, but it was
this cry of being authentic.
Well, you were being seen andbeing seen and just feeling
(27:43):
present.
And then we were all sittingthere and the sermon was
absolutely beautiful and therewere like eight to 12 people
that walk up the stairs and itis like the bathtub and they're
sitting above you and the pastorand then, I'm assuming,
(28:03):
assistant pastor, you know, bendthem back and they come up.
Every single one of themliterally comes just flying out
of the water with their hands up.
I mean it was just a sobbingmess.
But I have to tell you I hadnot felt that amount of release
(28:24):
in a long time and just felt sogood Again to be witness to
something that's just so amazing.
But I think I needed a good cry.
Yes, like cry where it's, likeugly snot crying.
I'm wiping it on my sleeve.
Got to take my coat to the drycleaner type of snot cry.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Right, well, but we hold so much emotion in because,
exactly, wendy, the issues arein the tissues, like that's a
funny saying I heard.
But you do not release them.
They stay in your body and ifyou hold on to those emotions
too long, it starts to manifestphysically.
I read like 98% of disease,stem, is stress.
(29:04):
Yeah, like, yeah.
We're human beings that havefeelings and emotions.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
We are, and for me personally and no one has made
me feel like this I have takenthis on myself.
I there are many times where Ifeel like I have to be the
strong one.
Yes, I do.
I seen this meme the other dayand it said why does the, why
does the dog, why does thefirstborn always feel like they
are the manager?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yes, and I laugh because it's like the second mom
.
Yes, because I was like, oh mygosh, that is so true.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yes, it is so true.
And again, nobody has put thaton me except myself, and so when
I finally do have a release,it's just like yeah, a good cry
solves a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I think it really does.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Yeah, it does, and maybe that's what we need to be
doing more.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah, just having good cries For real you know, oh
, I know, when you're in a funkand you're hearing people like
it's kind of hard.
When you're in it, yes, you'relike really fucking annoyed by
people telling you you know.
So it's like I was thinkingabout that.
Like, when you're in that, Ithink that's kind of when we
(30:19):
don't need someone like throwingadvice at us or telling us what
we should do or shouldn't do.
So it kind of made me step backand think okay, really, when
you're feeling like that, youjust need someone to listen.
Yeah, give support, givesupport.
Like just just listen, yeah,yeah, and let them bent and get
(30:42):
it out.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
But then I also think it's real easy to then get
sucked into that and just likekind of beat the dead horse and
keep like so it's like how canwe it's a very fine line to
listen but also like be like,okay, we've been feeling like
shit, but yes, you know.
So, even just a reframe, likeyeah, okay, yes, we don't like
(31:07):
to think about our parentspassing away, but it's going to
happen.
We don't like to think aboutourselves, but it's going to
happen.
But it's like they're here.
Yes, exactly, exactly, so likeliterally today like they're,
here.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
So enjoy them.
Yeah, yeah, and it was like forme.
So I was at my parentsyesterday and just talking to
them about all this stuff, andmy dad literally looked at me I
kid you not and he's like, haveyou forgotten who you are?
And I was just like, well, dad,what do you mean?
(31:42):
And it was more of his hardlove, but it was more like snap
out of it.
You know what I mean.
I'm going to give you the grace.
I've given you the grace.
I don't understand how you'refeeling, but you're here, life
goes on, and have you forgottenwho's fucking daughter you are?
Yeah, and again I cried.
You know what I mean, but itwas just so true.
(32:05):
It was so true.
I've never given up on anything.
You know what I mean, even whenit is fucking hard or even when
it is uncomfortable.
But sometimes you need to havethose people too that have your
back and love you for who youare to also call you out on your
bullshit.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like Rafiki and the Lion King,exactly, and he bonks them over
the head.
Yes, exactly, exactly.
He's like remember who you are.
I mean, yeah, that gets meevery time it does.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
It does because everybody has shit, yes, and
sometimes it's harder thanothers at times and things are
sad.
You know what I mean.
Things are sad.
You know.
My mom has said to me whenpeople will ask you know, how
are you and Rick doing?
And she's like sometimes I justwant to fucking scream how do
you think I'm doing?
(32:56):
We have lost a child.
That is not how it is supposedto be in life.
You know what I mean.
So for me it's just I know whatmy own pain is and then to
think about what my parents'pain is, or Julie, or my niece
and nephew, it's devastating tome it is.
But again, we're here.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yes, we're here.
We're here, and I imagine yourbrother is up there shaking his
head.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yes, that's why he shows us signs all the time,
like you guys.
Yes, yep, that's okay.
Yes, wendy, my brother is insuch a better, better place.
You know what I mean.
A better place?
Yeah, I mean we there were.
That was when I'd think of it.
But you never know, when myson's orphaned, it's torturous
(33:43):
sometimes, down here it is, andI'm not saying that bad, that's
just life.
You know what I mean.
But how amazing is it to knowthat when this body leaves this
earth, that where we're going,you know there's peace in that
and that is where I find peacewith for my brother.
But again, we're going to havethose moments we are.
Sadness is sadness.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah, I think I'm still living here.
It'd be concerning if youweren't upset when someone's
gone.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Gosh, yes, yes.
And then you can get into theroutine of I wish I would have
done this, I wish I would havesaid that or this.
Now you know what?
Again, that's life.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
But then we just need to make sure we're saying those
things to the people that arehere.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Exactly, exactly.
So, like this morning, I waslike, when I was thinking about
coming to the podcast and doingthe podcast, I'm like you know
what, what a blessing this is Tostart our day doing something
that we love.
You know what I mean Doingsomething that we love and we
can share, and we can beauthentic and have Jason share
(34:48):
his beautiful self and you and Ibe able to talk.
That is a blessing.
That is a blessing, andsometimes, again, we just get
caught up in the fact of shit isshit.
Right now, exactly, you know,it is Next.
Seriously, shit is shit, youknow.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, shit is shit, but we don't want to focus on
shit, we want to focus on joy.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yes, right, yes, yes, and laugh, yes, and be able to
laugh at ourselves yes, you knowwhat I mean and be able to
laugh at ourselves and to beable to say no, yeah, to be able
to say no to things too.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I feel like, for anyone who's feeling like in a
funk, to me, really, the onlything that helps get you out of
it is you have to move.
Yes, oh my gosh.
Yes, I'm not saying you have togo and run, I actually said,
but you have to be in action.
Yes, you have to do somethingand you have to set a tiny goal.
Like I'm going to shower today.
Yes, like there's nothing likea good shower.
(35:48):
Right, I'm going to make youknow.
Like just focusing on littletasks.
Yes, yes, because you can't gofrom being depressed to joyful
in five seconds.
That's not how the mind works,so it's like thinking about
things.
What did you do as a kid thatyou loved?
I loved roller skating.
I played tennis.
Like tap into those things.
(36:09):
Like you know, I haven't beenreading books.
I've read a few books that justmake me laugh and you escape
for a while.
Yes, yes, in some cases.
If you can't do that, then like, just go do something for
someone else.
Yeah, like you just have to get.
It's just so easy to stay stuck.
The only way you get unstuck isto just move.
(36:33):
Yeah, so like, if all you wantto do is sleep, then maybe go
sit on the couch, yes, even justmove to another room.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and open up a window just
for some fresh air.
Yes, or you know for me that'sgetting in the car.
You know I love to just get inthe car and drive.
You know I'll go to a park orsomewhere where there's nature,
or you know that's what helps mepersonally.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
You know my goodness.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I had Miley Cyrus just on full blast this morning
on my way over here.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
You know, just rocking it out and singing as
loud as possible and have on thewind in your hair.
I mean, we have cars now thatyou can have your stuff off and
like, oh, just having your hairblow in the wind.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I love, though, that you said to doing something for
someone else, because I've again, personal opinion is society.
I think that we become very,very selfish, very, very selfish
, and we're not supposed to livelike that.
It truly takes a village.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Well, that's why we didn't do it during COVID.
We're not meant to just stay athome and not do anything.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
No, yes, no, no, no.
It takes a village and my God,I thank literally God every day
for the village that I have.
You know what I mean?
Because I would be lost, Iwould be, yeah, I would be.
So thank goodness for thevillages that we have, that's
for sure, for the village people, the village Y-M-C-Y.
(38:04):
But I'm like that's the stuffthat I want to do.
You know what I mean.
I know the stuff that will makeme happy and the collaborations
and just doing fun.
Stupid, fucking, silly shit.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Oh, I love it.
I love fun stuff.
Yes, I will never act my age.
No, no, I mean I wore an elfcostume and went around to join
a creak mall.
Exactly, it was fun.
Yeah, I mean it was fun.
Yeah, but again, it wasinteresting to me how many
people didn't even notice me ordidn't pay attention.
(38:39):
Yeah, like everybody's in theirown little world.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Or they did see me, but theythought I was lunatic.
We're like I'm not going tolook at her.
I'm not going to look at her.
They had secondhandembarrassment is what I call it.
Secondhand embarrassment.
It was so great because all thekids were like to wrap this up.
What advice would you givepeople who are stuck right now
(39:01):
or who have had a loss thatthey're having a hard time?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Yeah, again, it's the village thing.
For me it is, it's a villagething.
So what if they don't have avillage?
Yeah Well, you and I can be avillage.
You know what I mean, honestly,you know.
Even if it's just hey, can wemeet for coffee?
You know what I mean?
Can we meet for lunch?
I literally just need someoneto talk to.
(39:32):
The fact of anybody being aloneis devastating, for me.
It is.
It's heartbreaking to me, butwhat you said move, just move.
Whatever that might be, justmove.
And for me personally, it'sjust being around people that I
(39:54):
love and that love me.
Yeah, you know, honestly, andlots of prayers.
Church is always a good thingfor me when I'm in that place,
going and sitting at theadoration chapel saying my
rosary, those are the thingsthat help me.
Honestly.
They make it better, because Istill am in a funk.
(40:17):
You know what I mean, but I'mstarting to come out of it.
I am, I'm starting to come outof it, and when you start to
come out of it, things becomeclearer too.
They do, and for me personally,it's just there's just a lot of
shit that I got to get out ofthe way.
So for me, I mean not doing somuch.
(40:38):
Networking right now has beenmy biggest thing, and I love
people and I love to network.
But I need just some me timeright now just to focus on me
and how I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
But I think it's important for us to bring up
like you've got to seek out help.
Yes, oh my gosh, you got to getout and meet people and you
know, if you're not someone thathas this huge circle of friends
, just reach out like, yes,going to a support group, or yes
, meeting with a counselor,whatever that is, don't hold it
(41:13):
in.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yes, don't hold it in , and it goes in.
It does truly go in phases.
It does, like I said that firstyear, you know you're just kind
of thinking to yourself, well,this isn't real.
You know it'll come walkingthrough the door and then you
know time goes on and then youstart to unpack things, which is
healthy but uncomfortable and alot of sadness.
(41:35):
But yeah, I had.
I've been seeing this quotelately and it talks about with
grief is just the absence, or anabsent of, or the presence of,
an amazing love.
You know what I mean and everytime I see it it's like that is
so true, that is, it is just sotrue, but you also have to seek
(42:00):
out joy.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
I'm getting joy driving around in my car, yes,
joy, roller skates, joy, yep,being around little kids and the
funny stuff that they say, yes,exactly Like you have to seek
that out, you do.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
You do.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
And you have to create it.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, I know this isn'tnormally like what our episodes
are like, but you know we wantto talk about the hardship and
everybody experiences loss andexperiences grief and sadness
and and funks you know, andfunks and find yourself funny
(42:37):
friends.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I have met a few new people that I was like they are
hilarious.
I've got to have more peoplelike that in my life.
Yeah, that are funny.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Yes, exactly.
Yes, yes, I mean just as longas they don't replace me.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
But you know I mean as long as they don't outshine
me the kids.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Okay, I mean I'm just out of my spotlight.
I'm just saying you're stuckwith me.
Is what I meant?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Well, we hope that this has been helpful.
Yes, for people, but we'regoing to keep spreading joy.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Yes, we are honey.
Yep, we're going to keepspreading joy, and even if we
sometimes do it with tears orwe're inappropriate, or oh God,
yes Childlike or like 12 yearold boys.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
That's.
That's what we're going to do,exactly, exactly.
Our big ask is that, hey, ifyou enjoy our show, tell your
friends.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yes, spread the word Yep.
And where can they find us?
And listen to us and see us,and you know the best thing is
to just go to our website.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Yep, agreed your sas-tasticlifecom.
There's no algorithm there, asfar as I know.
You go there.
All the episodes are there.
You can listen straight on ourwebsite.
We always have the most recentepisode at the bottom that you
can watch, and yeah, so that'swhat we would love.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Just tell your friends Love it.
Have an amazing day.
Bye.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
Bye.
I couldn't stop crying.
Your sas-tastic life isproduced by ApexVO.
Go to apexvocom.
It's A-P-E-X-X-V-O.
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