March 8, 2023 • 50 mins
When seasons of life confine and isolate us, feeling trapped in our loneliness can be the result. It's great to talk about getting involved or planning a get-together, but what if you literally can't?
Kimber talks with Heather Betsayad about seasons of forced isolation in her story, including a battle with cancer and challenges of growing her family. Heather shares the perspective these seasons of forced isolation have given her and how she sees God differently because of the loneliness she walked through in those times.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kimber (00:09):
Hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimber Gilbert, andI'm so glad you're here.
Now not to make you allflashback to COVID or anything.
But today we are talking aboutthe loneliness that can come
from seasons of her life.
When isolation is forced uponus, my friend, Heather is
sharing with us today about herincredible story of how.
(00:31):
God worked through severalseasons in her life.
When circumstances such ascancer in fertility and
adoption.
Moved her into times of forcedisolation.
Heather's trials have given heran incredible perspective on
loneliness, friendship.
And just the Lord and I hopethis conversation helps you find
new ways.
(00:51):
Uh, to grow authentic communityin your life and friendships
honor God.
And Dre closer to TCIs friend.
I wish we could talk this outover coffee, but this is the
next best thing.
I'm so glad you're here.
Let's get started.
Heather.
Hello.
Heather (01:10):
Hey, Ken bear.
Kimber (01:11):
Hey, thanks so much for being here today.
I'm excited to chat.
Heather (01:14):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Kimber (01:16):
that'll be, it'll be good.
You were a little bit nervous tocome on the podcast.
Is that right?
Or it's just out of your comfortzone.
Heather (01:22):
Both.
Definitely both.
Kimber (01:24):
Well, I thank you so much for, for putting it out
there and being willing.
I've only gotten to know you forlike a short time, but, just the
more I've gotten to know you,I've realized that I want to
lean into our friendship alittle bit more.
Cause you seem to have a lot ofwisdom to share with us.
And so I'm excited that you werewilling to come on today.
So thank you
Heather (01:45):
That's it.
So you thank you.
Yes.
Yes.
I love our women's group.
I feel like we get so muchwisdom out of that.
Kimber (01:50):
I love it.
It's been, especially ourconversations lately.
I feel like have just beenreally encouraging and the depth
is really, is really just ablessing to me.
So, yeah, it's all good.
Well, would you just start byintroducing yourself for our
friends listening?
Who may not know you?
Heather (02:06):
Yes, definitely.
So I'm Heather.
I am.
Uh, mama's three kids.
I have a six year old and aseven year old and a 13 year
old.
Um, We live in Alaska.
I'm originally from Colorado,but we moved around a bunch and
we've been here for now.
This is our third winter.
So we're going to say threeyears.
Um, So we're getting it.
(02:27):
We're getting.
They used to it and figuring itout.
it's wonderful up here.
It's amazing.
Kimber (02:32):
your favorite part of being here?
Would you say.
Heather (02:34):
Oh, Um, there's so many things like, I love how
everybody's so active.
I love that you drive places andyou're just literally in awe.
Kimber (02:43):
Yeah, it's so beautiful all the time.
Yeah.
Do you find yourself evergetting like tired of the view
or like you used to it, I guessnot tired of it, but used to it
or is it still like, oh, isbreathtaking for you?
Heather (02:55):
I think.
because it changes so
Kimber (02:57):
Yeah, that's a
Heather (02:58):
my kids to school about 20 minutes every day.
And just because of thedifferent light and the
different seasons that arecoming, like I drive over this
one bridge every day and Ialways stop and look at the
mountains and the distance.
And like some days they're pinkand sometimes it's like, just so
snowy and beautiful that I'mjust always amazed.
And recently there's been baldEagles flying over this spot and
I'm just like, ah, You can't getmore Alaskan.
Kimber (03:22):
Yes, then when there that's so
Heather (03:24):
Yes.
Yes.
And then like the moose and theanimals.
I just, it's really hard for meto choose my favorite thing
about it, for sure.
Kimber (03:31):
It is, I am.
I'm so thankful that we get tolive here, especially having
lived.
Other places that I guess Iwould describe as like, quote,
not as breathtaking.
Um, Like some people mightdisagree, I guess, but like, you
know, I'm really thankful that Iget to live in a beautiful
place.
It, yeah, it's really good formuscle.
I think.
Heather (03:49):
Yes.
Yes.
Completely,
Kimber (03:51):
Well, like I was saying, I am just now getting to know
you a bit more.
And so, I'm excited to ask thisquestion.
I like to kind of sometimesstart with just a question to
help our listeners kind of getto know a little bit more about
you.
And so, as I was thinking aboutone that I wanted to ask, I was
like, Ooh, what is somethingthat you think a new friend
should know about?
(04:11):
You?
Like.
I'm thinking like something thatmaybe wouldn't just like
casually come up inconversation, but it's actually
like a big part of your life.
And so you're like, this is likesomething you should know about
me, but it's like awkward tokinda sometimes bring those
things up or just like insertthem into conversation.
But, I've had that kind ofsituation before where I'm like,
people who know me really welldon't know, always like.
(04:33):
These important things about mylife, because it's just like, it
never came up.
So what's like, if you weregoing to just tell us one thing
like that, um, that you feellike a friend should know about
you, what would, what would cometo mind for that?
Heather (04:44):
Oh, okay.
Uh, Okay.
I have an awkward one.
Kimber (04:48):
Yeah.
Heather (04:49):
Well, yes.
So I was thinking of somethingdifferent, but I think I'm going
to say this.
So.
I have a different blood typethan it when I was born.
Right.
So we'll get into that more inthe story, but like my, if I
left a DNA sample somewhere,somebody would register it as
not me and somebody else in theworld.
Kimber (05:10):
oh
Heather (05:10):
And that somebody else would not.
Uh, female it'd be a male, so Ican go and like commit a crime
somewhere.
And not be traced back to me,just.
Kimber (05:17):
That is so crazy.
And I, yes, we're going to,we're going to get to talk about
yeah.
About your medical story, but,um, I never thought about it
from that aspect of like, DNAtracing and
Heather (05:29):
Right.
Isn't that interesting.
Kimber (05:31):
That's freaky.
You know, you, you have thefreedom.
But
Heather (05:34):
Isn't that funny?
Sure.
No, no.
Kimber (05:38):
Uh, that's a good fact.
That's a great fact, like for,you know, when people are like,
what's a fun fact about you.
Heather (05:44):
That's my fun fact.
Yes, for sure.
Kimber (05:46):
Oh, that's awesome.
That's so cool.
Well, you know, that kind ofleads us nicely into, getting to
share a little bit of your storytoday.
It's it's a good one.
I, when I asked you to come onthe podcast, I.
I.
didn't know a lot about yourstory.
And I just kind of felt like thealert is like, you should talk
to Heather.
And I was like, okay, but Idon't know about what, because I
didn't know much about yourstory.
(06:08):
And so when I.
asked you, you were like, ohYeah.
like I've got a cool story.
Let's talk.
And so, come to find out.
Yes, I would.
I would say that you do it's.
It's crazy.
It's cool.
So I'm excited to get to sharethat with our friends today, but
especially through this lens ofloneliness.
So we've been talking aboutduring the series.
and what we're going to get tokind of zero.
And I think for you today inyour story, It's something that
(06:30):
I haven't gotten to talk aboutmuch yet.
And that is just loneliness thatcomes from a time of forced
isolation, in our lives due tocircumstances, things that
happen.
Like, what about this lonelinessthat comes, and it's not
necessarily like something thatwe can avoid, you know, it's
forced upon us maybe for goodreasons or even just necessary
reasons.
(06:51):
and it doesn't, even if we knowit's like necessary and good,
that doesn't necessarily make itany easier, it's still hurts.
And it's still something we haveto deal with.
Even if we know maybe it is forlike a good reason.
And I think to an extent, like,you know, maybe we all dealt
with this a little bit duringCOVID like, you know, we were in
forced isolation for a while.
And I think generally, mostpeople agree that that was like
(07:13):
a wise thing to do.
Um, but that didn't make it haveany less impact on our hearts.
Right.
Heather (07:19):
Absolutely.
Kimber (07:20):
I feel like we can all relate to your story a little
bit just through that small way,um, in that small lens, but,
you've dealt with this a lot inyour life, right?
So, um, in several differentways.
And so, I would love if youcould just kind of get us into
that, like, what are some ofthese ways in your life that,
that forced isolation and theloneliness that comes from it?
(07:40):
How has that been part of yourstory?
Heather (07:43):
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I love that you brought up COVIDcause that's exactly what I
thought of too.
It's like we all kind of had togo in this.
Um, you know, in the signseverywhere where like we're in
this alone together.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was just that slogan thatyou're like, okay.
Okay.
We're just kind of already to bedone with it.
But I think if we all look backon certain seasons during COVID
like, you can see the goodthings that came out of it, or
(08:04):
you can see.
Um, what God was trying to do inyour life through some of those
seasons.
So, um, I just love looking backat things where yeah, it wasn't,
it wasn't what we planned.
Wasn't what we expected, butlike, you can see God through
some of those things.
So, um, yeah, so basic.
Basically.
When I was 25, my husband and I,we were, he was in the air
(08:25):
force.
We were.
On our second military base inMontana.
So Montana's kind of similar toAlaska.
Very outdoors-y mountain skiing.
You know, all the good things.
and something about me is I loveto do things.
with people.
So like get outside, go forhikes, go for walks.
Like my friendships are a lotbased on like things that we can
go and do together.
(08:45):
So we were just living in app.
We loved it.
so all of a sudden in January Icame down.
Uh, marae was diagnosed withacute leukemia.
So it was a very fast,progressive leukemia or cancer.
so it's like I went into thehospital and the next day I went
into the cancer unit for 30 daysand was in that in an isolation.
(09:06):
Area.
Um, and then.
Two days later started chemo andjust kind of all of a sudden.
And everything in my life thatwas going all my community.
Um, you know, Church, my work,my school, my kids, like
everything was just collapsed.
Nothing.
Kimber (09:22):
And in that loo, that leukemia, it's like, it's your
immune system, right?
Is that why you had to be inlike that isolation?
Is that right?
Heather (09:29):
Well, so the chemo actually.
Yeah.
Kind of, um, so what they do,the chemo actually will shut
down your immune system.
So it will kind of work in thatway where it shuts things down
so it can kill off the cancer.
That's hurting your body.
which is, you know, that's agood thing.
We want it to kill off, but it'salso not able to fight.
Um, the stuff.
That's also bad for you too.
Kimber (09:49):
yeah, the junk out there.
Yeah.
Heather (09:50):
Yeah.
So, you know, I was in thehospital and my amazing husband
was there.
And literally by my side thewhole time, like, it was really
hard for him to leave.
but I had friends that I workedwith.
I was a kindergarten teacher atthe time.
And they all had little colds orthis and that.
And the doctor was like, it'sprobably best for them to stay
away.
Um, so we wasn't able to be withthem and then, Um, you know,
(10:13):
community members, and then wehad this amazing group of air
force people that just come toround and it was like, he
couldn't really think out whatthose people either.
And we weren't able to doanything cause it was just like,
And everything shut down.
Um, and there was a little bitof that same like fear with
COVID like, you didn't want toget the germs and you're just
kind of like little bit of fear.
(10:33):
Um, based in that.
but definitely that feeling ofisolation, just kind of being
trapped in that place.
without able to go out or doanything that you typically
would think.
Kimber (10:43):
Right.
And did you know at the time,like how long of a timeframe
that was?
Or was it like undetermined?
I don't know how long this isgoing to go on or did you know,
like, okay, I've got 30 days.
You know, here's, here's howlong it's going to be.
Heather (10:57):
Yeah.
After about five days.
I kind of less now they're like,Okay.
this first round of chemo ispretty intense and it stinks.
So you're going to be here for amonth or more.
And as they're a little bitlonger, but it was just kind of
that time to really stop, likeeverything just ceased.
and I do think during that time,because it was, it was like you
stop and you get better.
Kimber (11:18):
Hm.
Heather (11:19):
We, I was able to truly like look at God and be like,
okay.
What, what, what are you doinghere?
You.
You know, like what are what'sgoing on?
Is my life.
and there was nothing else tofocus on.
There was no work.
There was no.
You know, community service orchurch groups or anything, it
was just kind of like, okay,what do you want?
Um, So it was definitely at thattime that it was complete
reliance of God and like, Whatare we doing here?
(11:41):
and I think that was such a hugemoment.
And I in my life, because Icould see.
I could just stop and just kindof listen to God and not have to
focus on the other things.
which was a really neat time inmy life.
and I think that initial timewas.
Just waiting and resting andtrying to get, trying to get
healing, which was so neat.
Kimber (12:01):
Yeah.
Did you, did it feel that waythen?
Like.
Heather (12:05):
Yes.
Kimber (12:05):
In the moment too.
Okay.
Heather (12:07):
The first month definitely felt like that.
So after that first month got alittle different.
Kimber (12:13):
Yeah.
Heather (12:14):
so after that first month they said, okay, the type
of chemo I had, I needed, what'scalled a stem cell transplant.
So that's why I have a differenttype of blood.
Was that somebody I had to get adonation from somebody and they
gave me their, Stem cells.
And I basically restarted myimmune system and everything.
but in Montana they didn't havethat at all.
So we had to, we literally foundout and then we got in the
(12:38):
airplane and flew down to.
Um, Houston for me to starttreatment down there.
So, again, just kind of thatlike complete, like, okay, what,
where are we going?
What are we doing
Kimber (12:48):
Uprooting, no community there.
Yeah.
Heather (12:51):
nothing.
You know, we didn't knowanybody.
It was just kind of like, okay,we're just.
Like, we're just going downthere.
We're going to get better.
And then.
Just trying to figure out.
what were you doing in thatsituation?
Um, during that situation, I wasdefinitely a little more.
Confused and frustrated andangry.
Kimber (13:07):
Hm.
Why do you think that was like,where did that come from?
Like, what was the shift foryou?
Heather (13:11):
I think the time to process was kind of like that
first month it was, there wasnothing that was just complete
reliance.
Like I have to get, I have toget better or I'm not going to
make it through this.
And then that second shift waskind of like, what, what do you
want?
Like, what are you doing withthis guide?
You know, and just a little bitmore confusion and anger.
At some of the things that weregoing on.
(13:32):
And I do think I wasexperiencing that loneliness and
that kind of like craving forthose.
That normalicy of like beingaround my school friends or
being around our small group orlike we had a great core group
of friends that we just.
You know, we talked to them alittle bit on the phone.
FaceTime.
Wasn't a thing.
Cause that was a long time ago.
Um, so it was just those thingsthat weren't available and just
(13:55):
having to really switch andfigure out.
How to do this.
Um, and we were down there forsix months.
So it was a long period of time.
It wasn't a short, like, oh,good.
Just go down for a week and thencome back.
It was.
Was a decent amount of time.
yeah,
Kimber (14:08):
almost like you settle into.
Kind of the.
Well, the, like the hard season,you know, it's like that,
sometimes those first, thatfirst bit of time, I feel like
you're like reacting, like yousaid, and you're in like the
crisis mode sort of.
And then it's like you said, youhave time to process and you're
like, oh, like I have morefeelings.
About this, like underneath thesurface that, uh, are emerging.
(14:31):
Yeah.
And so you had six lonely monthsto process all of that.
Heather (14:35):
Yes.
And I did, I did have a family.
I came down and visited at kindof those moments that were like,
okay, I need you, like, myparents were there.
And.
Um, we even had a friend thatflew down from Montana and it
was just for like a day or twoand it was like, it just needed
those people just for thatlittle time.
And you could tell, like, itjust kind of refreshed your.
I'm like, okay.
Like we can get through this.
(14:56):
and then towards the end, youcan just definitely start to
feel like God's peace throughsome of those experiences are
like, okay, he's got this.
He really does.
Especially the way that like, Hewas answering prayers.
like, I just, there are so manypeople just out there praying
for me and my husband and justgetting us through that.
that towards the end, you couldjust start feeling that peace
and it's like, okay.
(15:17):
That has a planter.
As he's figuring this out.
And I be at the end of it, I washealed.
You know, it was Just thisamazing thing that God has
healed me from this.
Yes, it is.
It's so amazing.
Uh, so, it's such a cool storyfor God to be like, this is what
he did.
Like he, he took me out of mycomfort soul.
He made me completely dependableon him for everything.
(15:40):
and then through that, he taughtus to be like dependent on him.
and then healing me too.
So just so many amazing thingsthat came out of that season
Kimber (15:48):
Yeah, that's incredible.
When you like, look back on thatseason, what do you feel like is
like the biggest thing that youlearned about God?
Heather (15:55):
Uh, trust, like just to trust him, like there was,
Different points where likestuff fell through or something
didn't work.
Right.
Um, so like I had a donor thatwas like lined up for me to get
donations or refer to me to gettheir stem cells.
And then it came out like itdidn't work.
And we were like, oh, seriously.
And then two days later, twodays later they found a
(16:16):
different donor that was abetter match.
And it was like, okay, like, Godhas this.
And like, why are youquestioning?
Like, why are you guessing?
And why are you.
You know, wondering about thiswhole.
Kimber (16:26):
Like, whether it will happen or not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Heather (16:30):
So, yeah,
Kimber (16:31):
incredible.
And to go through, like to gothrough, I feel like such a
formative experience like that.
When you were, you were likepretty young, right?
Like you were new.
Were you newlyweds at thatpoint?
Or like how long had you guysbeen married?
Heather (16:46):
We'd been married for two years.
It was definitely like, we'restill figuring each other out.
And, uh, my husband's a fighter,so he definitely was in there
like fighting insurance andlike, he was.
He, yes.
He found his job for me, forsure.
So, um, Really figuring out howto do.
do.
marriage together and completelyhumbling myself.
(17:08):
Cause like, you know, whenyou're sick and you don't look
that great.
Kimber (17:12):
Right.
Heather (17:14):
Um, you know, like you're just completely humble.
And so, And just to
Kimber (17:17):
on other aspects of your relationship, but to bring
confidence and whatnot.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's that's crazy.
How did, like, would you saythat through that.
Time that your friendships sortof were put on pause or were you
able to like, maintain somefriendships through that?
And like, if so for the friendsthat you feel like navigated
(17:41):
that.
season really well for you,what, what did they do?
Like how did they love you?
Well, during that time that youremember, um, I know it was a
long time ago, but like, how didthey like show up in that time
when they couldn't be with you?
and even didn't maybe have someof the ways we have now to like,
Stay connected.
Um, what are some things youremember that like made you feel
really loved and cared for byyour friends in that hard season
(18:04):
for you?
Heather (18:05):
Yeah.
I remember getting calls likejust from some certain people.
And it was just very,periodically that was, they were
just kind of calling and check.
Like we weren't texting backthen very much.
Um, But it was just like, theywould actually call and talk to
me and say, Hey, like, how's itgoing?
Or just kind of like, tell mewhat was going on during that
time.
Um, and sometimes you justneeded that.
(18:25):
Like I did not want to talkabout.
What was going on with me, butlike just hearing the ridiculous
things that my students weredoing was so entertaining.
Kimber (18:34):
Yeah, Cause you're like totally wrapped up in that
world.
Of sickness treatment.
Yeah.
Heather (18:41):
And sometimes I think they've got that.
I just needed to tell them aboutseven.
I was like, I just, I need abreak from cancer.
Like.
Tell me what's going on withyou, which was so nice.
Um, so yeah.
Kimber (18:51):
to pull you out of that.
Heather (18:52):
yeah.
Um, and then I remember too,there was a group of women, I
didn't know.
Um, which is this.
I'm trying to remember if Iscrew my mom's church or
something.
But they all got together andthey sent cards.
Kimber (19:05):
Hm.
Heather (19:06):
they made a schedule and they sent cards like, and I
was like, I don't.
These people are, but I got acard almost like every week.
Just this random prayer, thatwas just really neat to see like
a God working through differentpeople and just kind of the
things that they would say toencourage and.
Just kind of uplift me.
And even though I didn't knowthat, like you could see God
(19:27):
working through those things,um, which was really neat.
Kimber (19:30):
just like those small steps of encouragement.
Yeah.
That make a
Heather (19:34):
Yes.
Completely completely.
So, um, just a little things Ithink were really big.
And then, like I said, we hadone friend that like slew down
and they just saw us.
For literally like, I feel likeit was one night.
Um, and then they flew out, butit was just because we couldn't
do very much and I was kind ofembarrassed cause I love to do
stuff.
And it was like, we justcouldn't do stuff, but they just
(19:56):
came in and it was just kindalike, okay, like, You know, w
we're going to get through this.
We're going to move on to thenext step too.
So, um, yeah, it was a nice.
a nice.
way to connect again, too, andjust kind of have that really
extra, extra special thing.
Kimber (20:08):
Right.
I feel like that would be reallychallenging when the way that
you like to connect, likethrough doing stuff is how you
described that.
Like when that is no longer ornot no longer, but for a time
that's not an option.
To you, and it forces you tokind of like relearn or like
connect in different ways or,you know, just press into the
(20:29):
relationships you do have, like,um, I mean, do you feel like
your marriage was strengthenedthrough that like time of
isolation?
I would think probably like,what was that?
What was that like for you?
Heather (20:39):
We definitely like got thrown into the deep end really
fast and figured out who eachother were honeymoon was cut a
little short, but Yeah.
no, I, we are.
Going through that has made us,like we can get there anything
like we that's, it's justsomething we can say, like,
Kimber (20:55):
We went through that year, too.
Heather (20:56):
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we're fine.
Well, we'll do the next thing.
What's next.
Um, so yeah, we definitelythink, like I said, my husband's
kind of a fighter.
So he's just started just kindof like, okay, we got this.
Kimber (21:07):
Well, I knew you did have, you did have next things,
right?
Like.
Like that was not the end ofyour story.
Heather (21:14):
No, no, I
Kimber (21:16):
else did this forced isolation come up for?
You?
Heather (21:19):
Well, so he think we came home.
Right.
And I had a few friends that hadstayed the same, but life was
kind of changing.
so when I came home, because myimmune system started over.
I wasn't able to go back toteaching for a year.
So that was, that was kind of abig part of my identity and my
community.
Whereas my teaching friends, um,You know, Th those teaching
(21:40):
friends are awesome.
Um, but so it started to kind oflead us to a new community.
and then at that time, you know,it was just kind of that age
where all of our air firstfriends are starting to have
kids and.
Just kind of in this part wherethere's like, okay, there.
I'll work on a baby shower atthe baby shower and just kind
Kimber (21:57):
Yeah.
Heather (21:58):
and at that point I was still doing cancer checkups and
things.
So just kind of like, ah, Idon't know, here.
I'm starting to get this long inmy heart that.
I was like, I want to be part ofthat group.
Like, I want to be part of thatwomen that are having kids and
like, I've always had thisdream, you know, like I'm going
to be a mother and this is goingto be great.
But that wasn't an option forme.
(22:19):
So it was really hard and justkind of forced me to kind of
like pull away from those peoplethat were my kind of.
those are my people.
That was my group, but just kindof pulling away from them was
really hard.
Kimber (22:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you feel like that was like ahealthy shift?
Like this is what I needed to doyou know?
Cause sometimes I feel like thatis like, actually talked about
this a couple of weeks on thepodcast with a friend is like,
sometimes there are times whenit's like, I'm just not in the
same season as you.
And so I need to find somepeople who are, or was it more
like that was.
Like what you did, but not maybewhat would've been best for you
(22:51):
in that scenario.
Like what was it for you?
Would you say.
Heather (22:55):
Um, Um, probably was a little bit of pride that I was
like having these feelings oflike, you know, jealousy and
that, and I was a littleprideful that I was like, oh,
this is how I feel.
And then part of me also didn'tneed to find some other avenues.
And once I did kind of findthose other avenues, I was able
to be happy with them.
but I did have to go find thatother part of my life.
(23:18):
Yes, Yes, because it was, I wasstruggling and I was, you know,
I was at home all day and I waslike, what is going on?
Um, so it really was more of a,a loneliness because I wasn't
able to join in with some oftheir stuff, or I didn't feel
like I was able to join in withthem.
Kimber (23:34):
And that it wasn't even an option for you then, and you
don't have anything to distractyourself because you're not
working or you can't go work,you know?
Heather (23:43):
job.
Yeah.
and they did have to go findsome things.
Like I started like volunteeringcause I was like, I just need to
do Something.
Yes.
And I think through that, like Ijoined.
Um, it was called Eaglemountain.
It.
We rafted and we skied with kidsand that was, that was me.
Right?
Like I was, I was able to beactive again, and I was able to
(24:03):
like pour my energy, and kind ofmeet different people and
almost.
Create new groups through thatchange.
That there's no way I would havedone that.
If I had been in that.
same season before, Um, so itjust kind of, it shifted
everything and I was able toshare kind of my story with new
people and like engage with newpeople that.
(24:24):
Really, I wouldn't have left mylittle air force bubble or my
school bubble.
If I hadn't been like.
Kimber (24:29):
unless you were forced
Heather (24:30):
out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think God works so muchthrough our life and like
opening doors and closing doorsand opening doors and closing
doors.
I was like, okay.
Yes, God.
I see.
I see what you were doing duringthat time for sure.
Kimber (24:41):
Yeah.
absolutely.
Um, man, what do you feel likein that season?
Like you learned most about Godlooking back in that time?
Like, what do you feel like hewas teaching you then?
Or what did you learn about him?
Through that being forced out ofyour, your old bubbles.
Heather (24:57):
Yeah.
no, I think trust for sure.
And this one is definitely aharder lesson from God, because
it was a darker time for me.
It was definitely where Iwithdrew and I became a little
more angry and questioning.
And, you know, like, why are yougiving me or why have I always
had this desire to be a mom whenlike this isn't an option for
me?
Um, and like looking back, likeI can see where everything was.
(25:18):
He was weaving his plan throughit.
but like having to get throughthat time of waiting and
understanding and just, eventhat rest kind of like what we
talked about in our Bible studythere, they just like resting in
this time or it was like, Godwas like, just, just stop.
I've got this.
Yes.
Yes, completely.
So, and I, I'm still learning torest and do all those things.
It's not like we're done by anychance, but
Kimber (25:39):
Well, man, it's, it's So.
hard though, because you'relike, I mean, you feel these
negative feelings and I wastalking about this, uh, The
other week with, um, our guests,Susie, who was on a couple of
weeks ago.
And like, you know, sh I think,I think I so often think of
these negative.
Emotions as like bad need to getrid of them, but what she talked
about is like these negativefeelings aren't necessarily like
(26:02):
bad, get rid of kind of things.
But like, if we can recognizethem and allow them to push us
toward better things, liketoward community, towards
stepping out of our comfort zonetoward God.
Sorta like whatever it is, thenwe're acknowledging them for
what their purposes, like, youknow, they're to help us be
healthier.
And sometimes we have to feelthose negative things.
(26:23):
To propel us.
Into better places or into whereGod wants us to be in.
And it feels like such a hard.
Reality, I think to wrap my mindaround because I'm like, okay,
like, God is good, but you know,he will use these things that
are hard in our lives to push ustowards.
Better things for us and that'sman, when you're in it.
That doesn't feel that doesn'tfeel
Heather (26:44):
Yeah.
No, no.
I went, that was a rough season,for sure.
So, Um, Yeah.
Got it.
Got us doing amazing things, butsometimes getting through them
is very, very difficult to, soYeah.
Kimber (26:54):
And that led you guys then did that lead you down the
road of adoption?
Or how did you kind of get tothat point in your, in your
lives?
Heather (27:02):
Um, that was just kind of a cool.
W well, so we ended up figuringout that I wasn't able to have
kids.
Um, some of it's due to thechemo and different things like
that.
But so my husband and I werelike, okay, let's just leave.
You know, we were just kind ofready to escape and like
restart.
Cause that's what you do at themilitary.
So.
I'm like, okay, let's gosomewhere overseas.
(27:24):
Let's do something good.
And God took us to Alabama.
And that was not where I wantedto go.
I was so mad.
Because I'm a Colorado girl.
I need my mountains.
Am I snow?
You.
You know, like, oh, I was nothappy.
Um, And then we went down thereand we met this most amazing
little boy who needed a mom anda dad.
And, um, he's just the coolestkid.
(27:46):
So he's 13 now.
Um, he came to live with us whenhe was four.
So I just I'm just so proud tobe his mom.
He's just such a cool kid.
So, yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Cool.
Um, Cool story through there andGod, again, like God took us to
there.
And just the way that he pushedus in her life was so amazing.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Kimber (28:05):
And as we were talking, you kind of.
Give the impression that likethat.
And I don't know if it was thepost-adoption season with him or
with your other kiddos, but ittalked a little bit about how,
just like, again, that forcedisolation came.
After adoption, because it'slike a time when you really need
to like, help them feel safe andsecure and your family and
(28:26):
stuff.
Will you share a little bitabout just like how that theme
came up again, through that timein your
Heather (28:31):
Yes, absolutely.
so we had doctors on and then,um, our two daughters came to
our house too, and they were alittle bit younger, so they were
ages two and three.
When they came into our house.
And, you know, they.
They didn't know us before.
It was a very fast transitionfor them.
So, um, they kind of came in herhouse and life had to literally
(28:52):
just shut down and we had tohelp them just feel safe and
secure.
So again, like I was, um,working at a school and I just,
I quit my job and.
Um, we weren't with friends and.
stuff, or like, we're, we'rejust going to keep you outside.
Like these girls need to knowthat this is their family.
These are the people we cantrust.
So even we put a hold on oursmall group and our church and
(29:15):
just kind of like really focusedin word.
Um, and just helping them knowlike, okay, you are safe here in
this house and we are yourpeople, you know, have having
them figure that out.
Cause if we're having peoplecome in and out, like, they'd
get.
You know, like, oh, who is this?
We just, we wanted them to feelsafe in our house.
so we definitely had a fewmonths of that, where it was
just us focusing on them.
(29:36):
And having to say no toeverything else was really hard
for me, because again, like Iwant to get out, I want to take
them to the park.
I want to do
Kimber (29:43):
Yeah, I do the fun things.
Right.
Heather (29:45):
Yes.
Like, oh, let's take them to themusic park and let's go to the
beach and let's go do this.
And it was not the time forthat.
They just needed to be in ourhouse, playing in the backyard,
you know?
And that was, that was a seasonthat I was like, okay, we can
get through this.
Kimber (29:58):
Yeah.
How long did you end up sort ofhaving that season be like
saying no to a lot more thingsthan you might normally.
Heather (30:06):
So that kind of jumps into COVID too.
So I'm not sure.
how long it would have been.
So we got them in September andthen, so we pretty much shut
down and we kind of startedgetting back in like January and
then lifetime.
I doubt, I guess.
So, Yeah.
about four months that we kindof were like, we just need to be
here.
And we just started likereaching out and like maybe
(30:28):
meeting friends at the park ordoing just like barely out a
little bit.
Kimber (30:33):
you can kind of,
Heather (30:34):
Yeah, yeah.
yeah.
Just getting out a tiny bit.
so we couldn't do the thingsthat we were used to.
Right.
So, but this season was a littlebit different where.
We had friends that would justdrop off like boxes and boxes of
toys, because we didn't haveanything for a little girls in
our house.
So we'd had friends that droppedus the most music, clothes and
(30:54):
toys and food, and, um, I wouldhave a friend that when we were
having some hard times at thehouse, she would just talk in
her phone and she would justtell me your prayer and send it
as a text message.
And it was like, oh, that's whatI needed.
Like, I just needed thatencouragement.
Um, because I couldn't go for awalk with her or get together at
school, like we were doing.
(31:15):
and it was just amazing to havethose people support you, even
though you weren't able to be inthat community that you were,
um, in the past, for
Kimber (31:23):
It it's such a, and that was probably such a shift to
like, because you're when youwere sick, that was forced on
you.
Like yes, you chose to comply,but like, cause you knew that
was what you needed to do.
But with this time being likemore, uh, willing choice, like,
okay, this is the decision, thisis what we know we need to do.
how did that like hit your heartdifferently?
(31:46):
Like, did you find yourselfhaving any kind of like, fears
that came up from your previousexperience in that kind of
isolation, or was it just likeyou were motivated in that time
and knew is the right thing.
So it felt easier.
You'd done it before.
Like, what was your experiencethere?
Heather (32:01):
I think because it was other people.
It was a little harder for me.
So when it was just me like,okay, you know, like I can
trust.
God, I got this.
Now when it was the girls, itwas like, oh, like I'm in charge
of these people.
And it kind of had that weirdmom push and pull with it where
it would made it more difficultfor me to be like, oh, am I
(32:21):
doing this right?
Is this right?
Is this and like, Trusting God.
And this has been more of alearning curve than it was when
it was when I was sick.
Like when you were sick, it waskind of like the doctors had the
answers then this whereparenting like.
Ooh.
Kimber (32:34):
You feel like I sorta need the answers.
Heather (32:37):
Right.
Sometimes it's just trial anderror and yeah, sometimes.
we're just flying by the seat ofour pants, seeing what they need
and, Um, you know, then beans alittle, sometimes they didn't
know what they need or theycouldn't express it, or they
didn't know the hurts that theyhad.
Um, so they had a hard time withthat and they didn't know why
they're upset.
Um, so helping them through thatwas much different.
(32:58):
then going through it myself,where it was.
I can put my trust in God forthat, but with my daughters,
it's much harder for me and I'mstill learning it.
To be honest, we're stillworking through this
Kimber (33:09):
there outside of you too.
Like that, at least that'ssomething I've experienced is
unique with.
Having a baby is like, trust isalways a thing for me and God
we're always working on it.
I suck at it.
And.
Um, it's like when it's my life,that feels very different than
also trusting him with my kid.
And I'm not sure why that is.
(33:29):
Do you know why that is for you?
I don't know.
Heather (33:33):
I think it's a control thing for me.
I want to, I want to make thisperfect little life in this
control and have everythinggreat for them.
And I do need to let it mytrust, or I need to trust God
that God loves him just as much.
I do and way more.
You know, I think a lot of timesit's like, I know, I know it's
best.
I got this.
Because I want to control howthey are and everything that's
(33:55):
going on.
So I'm just remembering that.
God loves them.
He made them, he designed thisand he has a plan just as much
as I do or more, more than I dofor sure.
So.
Kimber (34:05):
Right.
Friends, just interrupting theshow for just a second to share
a resource that I would love foryou to leverage for your
friendships.
My new digital download iscalled 20 facts.
You should know about yourfriends and it's a questionnaire
style page that you can use tojust generate some conversation.
(34:27):
At your next get together.
My intent with this resource wasto give you an intentional way
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All with the goal of being moreintentional in loving our
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Well, you've got their order.
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(34:48):
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a place to save.
And remember some of theseimportant details.
You can find this free PDFdownload on my website, which is
linked in the description ofthis episode.
(35:10):
Okay, friends back to the show.
What would you say, like madethe difference for you?
Going through that, like initialseason of isolation with the
girls and then like rolling intoCOVID like, how did you, how did
you make it through?
Like, what would you say islike, one or two things that
like made the difference for youthat helped you get through
(35:30):
that?
Heather (35:31):
It definitely, definitely the support of
people, even though they weren'table to be there just like, but
cards or letters or even emails.
My grandma always email me andjust was just so encouraging,
uplifting.
Um, she had four boys, so she'slike, you can do this.
You're going to be
Kimber (35:46):
You got this?
Heather (35:47):
Um, yeah, so I think there is some things that was
like the outside perspective.
and then I do think when weApril.
Again, we're able to collapse.
And only the important thingsmattered.
where we weren't as focused onyou.
you.
know, that meeting I had to getto at school or this activity or
This where it just kind ofeverything shifted or we could
(36:08):
see this is what is importantright now.
This is what is needed.
Yes.
This is what, this is what mydaughters need.
This is what my son needs.
This is what our family needs atthis time.
which was a huge thing becausewe get so busy with certain
things or volunteering.
Like I said, I love to volunteerand get out there and meet new
people.
And that wasn't the time forthat, that wasn't the season for
(36:28):
that at all.
So figuring that out and havingGod say, okay, you're done.
Just, just take a break.
Um, it
Kimber (36:33):
Trusting him and being content where you're at.
Yeah.
That's such a, such a hardthing, especially when it's
like, I didn't exactly sign upto be here.
You know, even when you did, butyeah,
Heather (36:43):
I, yeah.
and I did, I just, I didn'tthink it was a little different,
um, with our two differentadoptions, kind of where, where
we went with my son, I was ableto keep working and doing all
the things and then theirdaughters, I just, I wasn't, and
I wasn't completely prepared forthat.
but Where they were is what,that's, what I needed to do.
Um, and then when our wholefamily was able to come together
(37:07):
and just be alone.
Um, and really that, that timewas such an important time for
us to grow as a family unit.
Unit for sure.
So,
Kimber (37:15):
Um, you saw at school that you were able to see the
benefit of it, even as it washard, because I feel like that
sometimes gives us themotivation, you know,
Heather (37:22):
Yeah.
Kimber (37:23):
To get through it.
If you could like go back tojust your younger self in these
different seasons and just saylike, listen, like, here's what
you need to know to get throughthis.
Like in that moment, in thosehard times, like, what would you
say.
To yourself, will you, youryounger self to encourage her in
that moment?
Heather (37:43):
Oh, I would, I would just say God's got a plan for
you.
Like God has this, like he knowsthis plan and there's times that
it's not going to be easy andit's fine.
And there's going to be tears.
Um, but like hindsight's 2020,like, this is such a cool story.
I love my family.
I love that.
He brought us all together.
Like when you see us together,it's like, oh yeah, like you
(38:04):
guys.
Yeah.
You're all supposed to be theretogether.
and I, my husband and I hadtalked about it the other day
and like, we've been.
Like in a relationship for 20years now.
And we're like, oh my gosh.
If I had that 20 years ago, whenI met you, that this is where
we'd be like, I don't know.
Kimber (38:20):
You wouldn't have believed it.
Yeah.
Heather (38:22):
No, absolutely not.
There's nothing about this thatI was like, yep.
We'll live in Alaska.
We'll have.
And these three kids, and thisis what you'll be doing.
It's Nope.
Nope.
Not at all.
But like, God's got this, likehe does, and it's not going to
be your plan.
And it's going to get some bumpsand doors are going to be shot.
But he's got you.
He's got you all the way throughit.
So
Kimber (38:41):
I love that knowing like, like you say, hindsight's
20, 20, right?
Like having this hindsight fromthese times and like knowing
what you know now.
looking forward to bumps thatwill come right?
Like if you ever find yourselfin this season, like a season of
forced isolation again, what doyou think?
Like you'll do differently.
This time, like what will be apriority to you in different
(39:03):
ways?
or what habits will you havelike that you're like, oh, I
need to do this better.
Learning from what you, what,where you've.
Heather (39:11):
Yeah.
I think getting older, I knowmore people right now, so like I
can step out and almost kind ofhumble myself and ask friends or
people say, Hey, you know, like,I need your help through this,
or just kind of saying, like,what advice do you have because
there's always somebody eithercan pray for you or who's been
through something or.
That can just kind of encourageyou during these times and you
(39:34):
can look ahead and see like,okay.
They've done this, or they'vebeen through this and, they can
support you.
So sometimes I, I rely onmyself.
A lot of times I rely on myselfand I'm.
I go look inward.
I'm like, I can do this.
It's fine.
Just don't worry about it.
Everybody walk away.
Let me handle it.
Where I need to reach out and Idon't always reach out.
(39:55):
So, Yeah.
texting somebody, findingsomebody or just even stepping
out of your comfort zone andjoining a women's Bible study.
I mean, really don't have thetime where you don't really want
to, or, you know, it just feelsa little awkward or volunteering
for that thing.
That's kind of tugging on yourheart.
if it's, you know, if you'reable to, like those things will
help push you and like,
Kimber (40:14):
Right.
Heather (40:15):
Take you into past that you may not have sought where
for you, but maybe God's goingto use that in a different way.
Kimber (40:21):
Mm, I love that you tie that mindset and like, uh, those
actions to getting older becauseI really.
I think you're right.
Like I think we learn.
The longer we spend as likeadults trying to figure out.
The friendship thing and likehandling loneliness and
navigating like the hard thingsof life.
I think we do come to theconclusion that like, oh, I
(40:43):
really can't do this alone.
and I think some people thathappens earlier, some it happens
later in life, maybe dependingon their unique stories.
But, I love that you tie that toage because it's just such a
reminder that like, we're allgetting more and more equipped
to realize that we need eachother.
And so it's like, as we'rewalking, our different roads.
If you're realizing this moreand more, I think that's like a
(41:04):
very normal thing and like leaninto that.
You know, lean into those morerelationships that you have,
that you've accumulated over thecourse of your life so far, and
don't be afraid to rely on them.
even if you haven't before,because.
Yeah, we need each other and itjust, it becomes more and more
apparent to me that.
I don't got it on my own.
I really don't.
(41:26):
I really don't.
Heather (41:27):
Yeah, That's one of the reasons I love our mom's group.
Cause we can get together and wecan share those insecurities or
those questions or those.
What is God doing and why?
Just cause, cause we all havethose and we need each other
through that to encourage eachother and just build each other
up.
Um, Because sometimes we're ourworst critic.
so yeah.
And we'll, we'll create thatloneliness for sure.
Kimber (41:49):
Yeah.
And it's like the more, I thinkthe more you do practice that
the more you realize, we all arekind of experiencing the same
stuff.
Like maybe not every singleperson, but like, even just in
like our, our small moms group,the people who can relate to
each other, like I, you know, wecan't all relate to each other
in every like, specific way.
(42:10):
In general.
I think, you know, we can, butthere's usually someone, I feel
like there's someone who has aconnection in some way, and
that's just in a small group oflike, 10 to 12 people.
And so, yeah, like we are soblessed these days with, I
think, lots of ways to connectwith each other and lots of
resources if we.
Choose to, you know, reach outto those things.
(42:30):
And there's someone out there,like you said, that's, that's
ready to walk with you.
Which is such a
Heather (42:35):
even.
even.
if you haven't talked to them ina while, like it's okay.
I've had texts from randompeople.
It's like, oh, that's been alittle bit.
And I've text somebody recentlythat I probably haven't talked
to in four years and we wereable to reconnect and she was
able to kind of provide me withsome advice that was so valuable
to me.
Um, so again, I kind of humblingmyself and be like, Hey, I need
(42:56):
you.
And.
Um, figuring out that and shewas, she was blessed by that and
I was blessed and God's putthose people in your life for a
reason too.
So
Kimber (43:04):
And don't be afraid to do that because, you know, I
think about it and I'm sometimesI feel a little self conscious
to do that because I'm like, oh,like maybe they'll think it's
like weird because we haven'ttalked in a while or like, oh, I
just like need you now.
Or, you know, uh, not like 24, 7or something, but really like,
if someone reached out to melike that, I would like, that
would bless me.
Like, I wouldn't be, it wouldn'tseem like, oh, you haven't
(43:26):
talked to me in four years andnow you need me.
Okay.
Like, no, it would be like,Yeah.
like I want to meet you there inthis neat in this space.
Or he needs something.
And so, and I think probablymost people are like that.
Maybe not everyone, but I think,I think we can probably have
more confidence in doing that.
Then maybe we do natural.
We do like are afraid of, orwhatever.
Heather (43:45):
Yeah,
Kimber (43:45):
So that's cool.
Well, Heather, something thatstood out to me since I first
asked you, just to talk aboutwith the podcast and everything,
Like I mentioned at thebeginning, you were like, I've
got a cool story and that wastrue.
I would say like, you do have acool story, like you said, but.
since I've heard it, I've justbeen thinking about like how you
(44:07):
have come to see it that way,because, you know, it's like,
you're telling us this story andlike it's full of a hot, her
really hard stuff.
And, you know, it's like we cansee sort of not the end end, but
you know, an end of parts of it.
And, so I would just love tohear kind of your perspective on
like how you've come to see.
Just like a lot of painfulthings in your story as like how
(44:30):
you've come to describe that aslike a cool story.
A good story.
So, when do you think, like thatshifted for you?
Like how did you begin seeing,you know, your cancer
infertility struggled over yourfamily?
Like, how did you start seeingthat pain?
Through the lens of a goodstory, because I think a lot of
times I just think of it aslike, oh, these bad things
happen to me and thank God I gotthrough them, but I love that
(44:53):
you describe it that way.
So how did that shift like kindof happen for you?
Heather (44:58):
I think through every different season, I could see
kind of where God worked.
And a lot of times it was towardthe end of it, where it was
like, During the cancer.
it was pretty hard, but like,when I got the last test for the
cancer and they're like, you arehealed.
Like we don't ever want to seeyou again.
You're like, okay, are you sure?
You know?
And then when they finalize theadoptions and when our family
(45:18):
was, you know, like sometimeswe'll sit at the dinner table
and I'll just look around and belike, oh my gosh, this is so
amazing that God has brought usthrough this.
Like God gave me these longingsAnd these desires.
And yes, we went through this,but if we didn't go through
this, this wouldn't be possibleat this point.
and I think he gives us aslonging and.
Desires any can fulfill them, orsometimes he changes them to.
(45:40):
And we have to know that he isfaithful through those things.
and then I also think like,because of some of these stories
or things that I've beenthrough, like I've been able to
connect with other women that Iwould never have connected with.
and I think.
Because of that, like we're ableto work with each other and help
each other, and it's just beenso rewarding to see us or to see
(46:00):
God's work.
through that where we wouldn'tnecessarily.
have been there if I didn't gothrough some of these
experiences, um, Yeah.
and God's not done.
Like they're still hard seasonsand we're still working on lots
of trust and everything else.
But I do think like it's justsuch a cool story.
I love, I
Kimber (46:17):
Um, Oh, that's so cool because I love.
That you're like acknowledge.
Yes.
Like sometimes it does come withthe closure of a season.
And it's like, sometimes I thinkit's hard to see when you're in
that like messy middle, like inthe middle of a season to see
like, Hey, there's going to bean end to this at some point, or
there's going to be some kind ofclosure.
(46:38):
and so I love that reminder tojust like, wait for that and
like continue trusting him aswe're looking forward to that
time when he is gonna.
Uh, we're going to see the fruitof his faithfulness.
Heather (46:50):
Right.
Even if, even if it's not theway that we thought it would
happen, like he is stillfaithful and he is still good.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Kimber (46:58):
that.
Man Heather, that is, thatperspective is just such like
goals for me.
It's.
Oh, man.
The trust thing is like so hard.
I feel like everything in mystory, like always comes back to
that, that God's working on myheart.
And so, um, I love hearing fromyou just how you've seen that
and how he's grown yourconfidence in his faithfulness
through, through those timeswhen you had to, had to trust
(47:20):
really actively.
So thank you so much for sharingwith us today and.
Um, yeah, I love, I lovedhearing your story the first
time I got to, and then I'mhearing it through the lens here
of just like how you kind of, inretrospect, what you've learned
about God and.
How it's established even morelike your trust in him.
that's just a really coolperspective.
(47:42):
So thanks so
Heather (47:43):
Thanks for having me.
I
Kimber (47:44):
absolutely.
It was so fun.
What are you, um, what are youdoing for fun coming up in your
life?
How are you and your family,getting out there these days,
because you're not in thisforced isolation anymore,
Heather (47:56):
No.
Um,
Kimber (47:58):
Or are
Heather (47:59):
We know you're out.
We are in Alaska.
Like, are you kidding me?
Kimber (48:03):
Yeah.
What do you guys do for fun?
Heather (48:05):
so I love to downhill ski it's my, my thing is how I
met my husband.
Like we, we, the girls scheme, IS my son's no worries.
Like we love to get out there.
So if we can get out there asmuch as they can, as.
But surely with all this newpowder.
Kimber (48:19):
Yeah, we've gotten a
Heather (48:20):
there as much.
Oh, my goodness so much.
better.
We went skiing the other day andit was, it was a little rough on
the legs, but, um, yeah, as muchas we can be outside, I love the
winters here.
Um, they're just, they'reamazing.
Summers are good too, but
Kimber (48:34):
cool.
I love that God has brought youback to the time when you can
get out and do stuff.
Heather (48:39):
Yeah, That's me too.
Kimber (48:40):
That's awesome.
Very cool.
Well, Heather, thanks so muchfor chatting with us today.
I loved it.
I'll talk to you later, friend.
Heather (48:47):
Thanks.
Kimberly, I'll talk to you soon.
Kimber (48:53):
Friends.
I'm so glad you could joinHeather and I this week on the,
your sister Kimber podcast.
Heather does have such a goalstory, and I really hope it
spoke to your heart today.
A message of encouragement, butmaybe also some challenge like
it did to me.
When we're in it, it's so hardto zoom out and remember God's
faithfulness.
(49:13):
So I challenge you to take sometime in prayer to do that today.
To consider how he is writingsuch a cool story in your life
to.
If you enjoyed my conversationwith Heather today, I would be
so honored.
If you would head over now toapple podcasts and leave a
rating and review of thepodcast.
It not only blesses me to hearfrom you, my friends, but
(49:33):
reviews Also help new friendsfind the show and know that it's
worth their listen.
Even if you don't listen onapple podcasts, you can find a
direct link to rate the showthere at the link in my bio, or
if your favorite podcast playerhas the option to review, you
can do that there too.
And lastly, I want to make sureyou know, that I want you to
part of my newsletter crew.
If you don't receive my weeklynewsletter, go to my website now
(49:56):
and subscribe.
You'll just get one email a weekin your inbox with a preview of
what will be on the podcast thatweek, As well as the link to
this month's blog post a tip ofthe week to help you grow your
friendships in practical waysand a resource suggestion to
check out such as a book, apodcast, Instagram account,
things like that.
Just people and things that arehelping me grow as a friend that
(50:18):
I want to share with you.
So to get this email, justsubscribe at the link in the
description of this episode.
Friends.
Thank you so much for being partof this community until next
time.
It's your sister Kimber.
Hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimber Gilbert, andI'm so glad you're here.
Now not to make you allflashback to COVID or anything.
But today we are talking aboutthe loneliness that can come
from seasons of her life.
When isolation is forced uponus, my friend, Heather is
sharing with us today about herincredible story of how.
(00:31):
God worked through severalseasons in her life.
When circumstances such ascancer in fertility and
adoption.
Moved her into times of forcedisolation.
Heather's trials have given heran incredible perspective on
loneliness, friendship.
And just the Lord and I hopethis conversation helps you find
new ways.
(00:51):
Uh, to grow authentic communityin your life and friendships
honor God.
And Dre closer to TCIs friend.
I wish we could talk this outover coffee, but this is the
next best thing.
I'm so glad you're here.
Let's get started.
Heather.
Hello.
Heather (01:10):
Hey, Ken bear.
Kimber (01:11):
Hey, thanks so much for being here today.
I'm excited to chat.
Heather (01:14):
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Kimber (01:16):
that'll be, it'll be good.
You were a little bit nervous tocome on the podcast.
Is that right?
Or it's just out of your comfortzone.
Heather (01:22):
Both.
Definitely both.
Kimber (01:24):
Well, I thank you so much for, for putting it out
there and being willing.
I've only gotten to know you forlike a short time, but, just the
more I've gotten to know you,I've realized that I want to
lean into our friendship alittle bit more.
Cause you seem to have a lot ofwisdom to share with us.
And so I'm excited that you werewilling to come on today.
So thank you
Heather (01:45):
That's it.
So you thank you.
Yes.
Yes.
I love our women's group.
I feel like we get so muchwisdom out of that.
Kimber (01:50):
I love it.
It's been, especially ourconversations lately.
I feel like have just beenreally encouraging and the depth
is really, is really just ablessing to me.
So, yeah, it's all good.
Well, would you just start byintroducing yourself for our
friends listening?
Who may not know you?
Heather (02:06):
Yes, definitely.
So I'm Heather.
I am.
Uh, mama's three kids.
I have a six year old and aseven year old and a 13 year
old.
Um, We live in Alaska.
I'm originally from Colorado,but we moved around a bunch and
we've been here for now.
This is our third winter.
So we're going to say threeyears.
Um, So we're getting it.
(02:27):
We're getting.
They used to it and figuring itout.
it's wonderful up here.
It's amazing.
Kimber (02:32):
your favorite part of being here?
Would you say.
Heather (02:34):
Oh, Um, there's so many things like, I love how
everybody's so active.
I love that you drive places andyou're just literally in awe.
Kimber (02:43):
Yeah, it's so beautiful all the time.
Yeah.
Do you find yourself evergetting like tired of the view
or like you used to it, I guessnot tired of it, but used to it
or is it still like, oh, isbreathtaking for you?
Heather (02:55):
I think.
because it changes so
Kimber (02:57):
Yeah, that's a
Heather (02:58):
my kids to school about 20 minutes every day.
And just because of thedifferent light and the
different seasons that arecoming, like I drive over this
one bridge every day and Ialways stop and look at the
mountains and the distance.
And like some days they're pinkand sometimes it's like, just so
snowy and beautiful that I'mjust always amazed.
And recently there's been baldEagles flying over this spot and
I'm just like, ah, You can't getmore Alaskan.
Kimber (03:22):
Yes, then when there that's so
Heather (03:24):
Yes.
Yes.
And then like the moose and theanimals.
I just, it's really hard for meto choose my favorite thing
about it, for sure.
Kimber (03:31):
It is, I am.
I'm so thankful that we get tolive here, especially having
lived.
Other places that I guess Iwould describe as like, quote,
not as breathtaking.
Um, Like some people mightdisagree, I guess, but like, you
know, I'm really thankful that Iget to live in a beautiful
place.
It, yeah, it's really good formuscle.
I think.
Heather (03:49):
Yes.
Yes.
Completely,
Kimber (03:51):
Well, like I was saying, I am just now getting to know
you a bit more.
And so, I'm excited to ask thisquestion.
I like to kind of sometimesstart with just a question to
help our listeners kind of getto know a little bit more about
you.
And so, as I was thinking aboutone that I wanted to ask, I was
like, Ooh, what is somethingthat you think a new friend
should know about?
(04:11):
You?
Like.
I'm thinking like something thatmaybe wouldn't just like
casually come up inconversation, but it's actually
like a big part of your life.
And so you're like, this is likesomething you should know about
me, but it's like awkward tokinda sometimes bring those
things up or just like insertthem into conversation.
But, I've had that kind ofsituation before where I'm like,
people who know me really welldon't know, always like.
(04:33):
These important things about mylife, because it's just like, it
never came up.
So what's like, if you weregoing to just tell us one thing
like that, um, that you feellike a friend should know about
you, what would, what would cometo mind for that?
Heather (04:44):
Oh, okay.
Uh, Okay.
I have an awkward one.
Kimber (04:48):
Yeah.
Heather (04:49):
Well, yes.
So I was thinking of somethingdifferent, but I think I'm going
to say this.
So.
I have a different blood typethan it when I was born.
Right.
So we'll get into that more inthe story, but like my, if I
left a DNA sample somewhere,somebody would register it as
not me and somebody else in theworld.
Kimber (05:10):
oh
Heather (05:10):
And that somebody else would not.
Uh, female it'd be a male, so Ican go and like commit a crime
somewhere.
And not be traced back to me,just.
Kimber (05:17):
That is so crazy.
And I, yes, we're going to,we're going to get to talk about
yeah.
About your medical story, but,um, I never thought about it
from that aspect of like, DNAtracing and
Heather (05:29):
Right.
Isn't that interesting.
Kimber (05:31):
That's freaky.
You know, you, you have thefreedom.
But
Heather (05:34):
Isn't that funny?
Sure.
No, no.
Kimber (05:38):
Uh, that's a good fact.
That's a great fact, like for,you know, when people are like,
what's a fun fact about you.
Heather (05:44):
That's my fun fact.
Yes, for sure.
Kimber (05:46):
Oh, that's awesome.
That's so cool.
Well, you know, that kind ofleads us nicely into, getting to
share a little bit of your storytoday.
It's it's a good one.
I, when I asked you to come onthe podcast, I.
I.
didn't know a lot about yourstory.
And I just kind of felt like thealert is like, you should talk
to Heather.
And I was like, okay, but Idon't know about what, because I
didn't know much about yourstory.
(06:08):
And so when I.
asked you, you were like, ohYeah.
like I've got a cool story.
Let's talk.
And so, come to find out.
Yes, I would.
I would say that you do it's.
It's crazy.
It's cool.
So I'm excited to get to sharethat with our friends today, but
especially through this lens ofloneliness.
So we've been talking aboutduring the series.
and what we're going to get tokind of zero.
And I think for you today inyour story, It's something that
(06:30):
I haven't gotten to talk aboutmuch yet.
And that is just loneliness thatcomes from a time of forced
isolation, in our lives due tocircumstances, things that
happen.
Like, what about this lonelinessthat comes, and it's not
necessarily like something thatwe can avoid, you know, it's
forced upon us maybe for goodreasons or even just necessary
reasons.
(06:51):
and it doesn't, even if we knowit's like necessary and good,
that doesn't necessarily make itany easier, it's still hurts.
And it's still something we haveto deal with.
Even if we know maybe it is forlike a good reason.
And I think to an extent, like,you know, maybe we all dealt
with this a little bit duringCOVID like, you know, we were in
forced isolation for a while.
And I think generally, mostpeople agree that that was like
(07:13):
a wise thing to do.
Um, but that didn't make it haveany less impact on our hearts.
Right.
Heather (07:19):
Absolutely.
Kimber (07:20):
I feel like we can all relate to your story a little
bit just through that small way,um, in that small lens, but,
you've dealt with this a lot inyour life, right?
So, um, in several differentways.
And so, I would love if youcould just kind of get us into
that, like, what are some ofthese ways in your life that,
that forced isolation and theloneliness that comes from it?
(07:40):
How has that been part of yourstory?
Heather (07:43):
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I love that you brought up COVIDcause that's exactly what I
thought of too.
It's like we all kind of had togo in this.
Um, you know, in the signseverywhere where like we're in
this alone together.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was just that slogan thatyou're like, okay.
Okay.
We're just kind of already to bedone with it.
But I think if we all look backon certain seasons during COVID
like, you can see the goodthings that came out of it, or
(08:04):
you can see.
Um, what God was trying to do inyour life through some of those
seasons.
So, um, I just love looking backat things where yeah, it wasn't,
it wasn't what we planned.
Wasn't what we expected, butlike, you can see God through
some of those things.
So, um, yeah, so basic.
Basically.
When I was 25, my husband and I,we were, he was in the air
(08:25):
force.
We were.
On our second military base inMontana.
So Montana's kind of similar toAlaska.
Very outdoors-y mountain skiing.
You know, all the good things.
and something about me is I loveto do things.
with people.
So like get outside, go forhikes, go for walks.
Like my friendships are a lotbased on like things that we can
go and do together.
(08:45):
So we were just living in app.
We loved it.
so all of a sudden in January Icame down.
Uh, marae was diagnosed withacute leukemia.
So it was a very fast,progressive leukemia or cancer.
so it's like I went into thehospital and the next day I went
into the cancer unit for 30 daysand was in that in an isolation.
(09:06):
Area.
Um, and then.
Two days later started chemo andjust kind of all of a sudden.
And everything in my life thatwas going all my community.
Um, you know, Church, my work,my school, my kids, like
everything was just collapsed.
Nothing.
Kimber (09:22):
And in that loo, that leukemia, it's like, it's your
immune system, right?
Is that why you had to be inlike that isolation?
Is that right?
Heather (09:29):
Well, so the chemo actually.
Yeah.
Kind of, um, so what they do,the chemo actually will shut
down your immune system.
So it will kind of work in thatway where it shuts things down
so it can kill off the cancer.
That's hurting your body.
which is, you know, that's agood thing.
We want it to kill off, but it'salso not able to fight.
Um, the stuff.
That's also bad for you too.
Kimber (09:49):
yeah, the junk out there.
Yeah.
Heather (09:50):
Yeah.
So, you know, I was in thehospital and my amazing husband
was there.
And literally by my side thewhole time, like, it was really
hard for him to leave.
but I had friends that I workedwith.
I was a kindergarten teacher atthe time.
And they all had little colds orthis and that.
And the doctor was like, it'sprobably best for them to stay
away.
Um, so we wasn't able to be withthem and then, Um, you know,
(10:13):
community members, and then wehad this amazing group of air
force people that just come toround and it was like, he
couldn't really think out whatthose people either.
And we weren't able to doanything cause it was just like,
And everything shut down.
Um, and there was a little bitof that same like fear with
COVID like, you didn't want toget the germs and you're just
kind of like little bit of fear.
(10:33):
Um, based in that.
but definitely that feeling ofisolation, just kind of being
trapped in that place.
without able to go out or doanything that you typically
would think.
Kimber (10:43):
Right.
And did you know at the time,like how long of a timeframe
that was?
Or was it like undetermined?
I don't know how long this isgoing to go on or did you know,
like, okay, I've got 30 days.
You know, here's, here's howlong it's going to be.
Heather (10:57):
Yeah.
After about five days.
I kind of less now they're like,Okay.
this first round of chemo ispretty intense and it stinks.
So you're going to be here for amonth or more.
And as they're a little bitlonger, but it was just kind of
that time to really stop, likeeverything just ceased.
and I do think during that time,because it was, it was like you
stop and you get better.
Kimber (11:18):
Hm.
Heather (11:19):
We, I was able to truly like look at God and be like,
okay.
What, what, what are you doinghere?
You.
You know, like what are what'sgoing on?
Is my life.
and there was nothing else tofocus on.
There was no work.
There was no.
You know, community service orchurch groups or anything, it
was just kind of like, okay,what do you want?
Um, So it was definitely at thattime that it was complete
reliance of God and like, Whatare we doing here?
(11:41):
and I think that was such a hugemoment.
And I in my life, because Icould see.
I could just stop and just kindof listen to God and not have to
focus on the other things.
which was a really neat time inmy life.
and I think that initial timewas.
Just waiting and resting andtrying to get, trying to get
healing, which was so neat.
Kimber (12:01):
Yeah.
Did you, did it feel that waythen?
Like.
Heather (12:05):
Yes.
Kimber (12:05):
In the moment too.
Okay.
Heather (12:07):
The first month definitely felt like that.
So after that first month got alittle different.
Kimber (12:13):
Yeah.
Heather (12:14):
so after that first month they said, okay, the type
of chemo I had, I needed, what'scalled a stem cell transplant.
So that's why I have a differenttype of blood.
Was that somebody I had to get adonation from somebody and they
gave me their, Stem cells.
And I basically restarted myimmune system and everything.
but in Montana they didn't havethat at all.
So we had to, we literally foundout and then we got in the
(12:38):
airplane and flew down to.
Um, Houston for me to starttreatment down there.
So, again, just kind of thatlike complete, like, okay, what,
where are we going?
What are we doing
Kimber (12:48):
Uprooting, no community there.
Yeah.
Heather (12:51):
nothing.
You know, we didn't knowanybody.
It was just kind of like, okay,we're just.
Like, we're just going downthere.
We're going to get better.
And then.
Just trying to figure out.
what were you doing in thatsituation?
Um, during that situation, I wasdefinitely a little more.
Confused and frustrated andangry.
Kimber (13:07):
Hm.
Why do you think that was like,where did that come from?
Like, what was the shift foryou?
Heather (13:11):
I think the time to process was kind of like that
first month it was, there wasnothing that was just complete
reliance.
Like I have to get, I have toget better or I'm not going to
make it through this.
And then that second shift waskind of like, what, what do you
want?
Like, what are you doing withthis guide?
You know, and just a little bitmore confusion and anger.
At some of the things that weregoing on.
(13:32):
And I do think I wasexperiencing that loneliness and
that kind of like craving forthose.
That normalicy of like beingaround my school friends or
being around our small group orlike we had a great core group
of friends that we just.
You know, we talked to them alittle bit on the phone.
FaceTime.
Wasn't a thing.
Cause that was a long time ago.
Um, so it was just those thingsthat weren't available and just
(13:55):
having to really switch andfigure out.
How to do this.
Um, and we were down there forsix months.
So it was a long period of time.
It wasn't a short, like, oh,good.
Just go down for a week and thencome back.
It was.
Was a decent amount of time.
yeah,
Kimber (14:08):
almost like you settle into.
Kind of the.
Well, the, like the hard season,you know, it's like that,
sometimes those first, thatfirst bit of time, I feel like
you're like reacting, like yousaid, and you're in like the
crisis mode sort of.
And then it's like you said, youhave time to process and you're
like, oh, like I have morefeelings.
About this, like underneath thesurface that, uh, are emerging.
(14:31):
Yeah.
And so you had six lonely monthsto process all of that.
Heather (14:35):
Yes.
And I did, I did have a family.
I came down and visited at kindof those moments that were like,
okay, I need you, like, myparents were there.
And.
Um, we even had a friend thatflew down from Montana and it
was just for like a day or twoand it was like, it just needed
those people just for thatlittle time.
And you could tell, like, itjust kind of refreshed your.
I'm like, okay.
Like we can get through this.
(14:56):
and then towards the end, youcan just definitely start to
feel like God's peace throughsome of those experiences are
like, okay, he's got this.
He really does.
Especially the way that like, Hewas answering prayers.
like, I just, there are so manypeople just out there praying
for me and my husband and justgetting us through that.
that towards the end, you couldjust start feeling that peace
and it's like, okay.
(15:17):
That has a planter.
As he's figuring this out.
And I be at the end of it, I washealed.
You know, it was Just thisamazing thing that God has
healed me from this.
Yes, it is.
It's so amazing.
Uh, so, it's such a cool storyfor God to be like, this is what
he did.
Like he, he took me out of mycomfort soul.
He made me completely dependableon him for everything.
(15:40):
and then through that, he taughtus to be like dependent on him.
and then healing me too.
So just so many amazing thingsthat came out of that season
Kimber (15:48):
Yeah, that's incredible.
When you like, look back on thatseason, what do you feel like is
like the biggest thing that youlearned about God?
Heather (15:55):
Uh, trust, like just to trust him, like there was,
Different points where likestuff fell through or something
didn't work.
Right.
Um, so like I had a donor thatwas like lined up for me to get
donations or refer to me to gettheir stem cells.
And then it came out like itdidn't work.
And we were like, oh, seriously.
And then two days later, twodays later they found a
(16:16):
different donor that was abetter match.
And it was like, okay, like, Godhas this.
And like, why are youquestioning?
Like, why are you guessing?
And why are you.
You know, wondering about thiswhole.
Kimber (16:26):
Like, whether it will happen or not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Heather (16:30):
So, yeah,
Kimber (16:31):
incredible.
And to go through, like to gothrough, I feel like such a
formative experience like that.
When you were, you were likepretty young, right?
Like you were new.
Were you newlyweds at thatpoint?
Or like how long had you guysbeen married?
Heather (16:46):
We'd been married for two years.
It was definitely like, we'restill figuring each other out.
And, uh, my husband's a fighter,so he definitely was in there
like fighting insurance andlike, he was.
He, yes.
He found his job for me, forsure.
So, um, Really figuring out howto do.
do.
marriage together and completelyhumbling myself.
(17:08):
Cause like, you know, whenyou're sick and you don't look
that great.
Kimber (17:12):
Right.
Heather (17:14):
Um, you know, like you're just completely humble.
And so, And just to
Kimber (17:17):
on other aspects of your relationship, but to bring
confidence and whatnot.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's that's crazy.
How did, like, would you saythat through that.
Time that your friendships sortof were put on pause or were you
able to like, maintain somefriendships through that?
And like, if so for the friendsthat you feel like navigated
(17:41):
that.
season really well for you,what, what did they do?
Like how did they love you?
Well, during that time that youremember, um, I know it was a
long time ago, but like, how didthey like show up in that time
when they couldn't be with you?
and even didn't maybe have someof the ways we have now to like,
Stay connected.
Um, what are some things youremember that like made you feel
really loved and cared for byyour friends in that hard season
(18:04):
for you?
Heather (18:05):
Yeah.
I remember getting calls likejust from some certain people.
And it was just very,periodically that was, they were
just kind of calling and check.
Like we weren't texting backthen very much.
Um, But it was just like, theywould actually call and talk to
me and say, Hey, like, how's itgoing?
Or just kind of like, tell mewhat was going on during that
time.
Um, and sometimes you justneeded that.
(18:25):
Like I did not want to talkabout.
What was going on with me, butlike just hearing the ridiculous
things that my students weredoing was so entertaining.
Kimber (18:34):
Yeah, Cause you're like totally wrapped up in that
world.
Of sickness treatment.
Yeah.
Heather (18:41):
And sometimes I think they've got that.
I just needed to tell them aboutseven.
I was like, I just, I need abreak from cancer.
Like.
Tell me what's going on withyou, which was so nice.
Um, so yeah.
Kimber (18:51):
to pull you out of that.
Heather (18:52):
yeah.
Um, and then I remember too,there was a group of women, I
didn't know.
Um, which is this.
I'm trying to remember if Iscrew my mom's church or
something.
But they all got together andthey sent cards.
Kimber (19:05):
Hm.
Heather (19:06):
they made a schedule and they sent cards like, and I
was like, I don't.
These people are, but I got acard almost like every week.
Just this random prayer, thatwas just really neat to see like
a God working through differentpeople and just kind of the
things that they would say toencourage and.
Just kind of uplift me.
And even though I didn't knowthat, like you could see God
(19:27):
working through those things,um, which was really neat.
Kimber (19:30):
just like those small steps of encouragement.
Yeah.
That make a
Heather (19:34):
Yes.
Completely completely.
So, um, just a little things Ithink were really big.
And then, like I said, we hadone friend that like slew down
and they just saw us.
For literally like, I feel likeit was one night.
Um, and then they flew out, butit was just because we couldn't
do very much and I was kind ofembarrassed cause I love to do
stuff.
And it was like, we justcouldn't do stuff, but they just
(19:56):
came in and it was just kindalike, okay, like, You know, w
we're going to get through this.
We're going to move on to thenext step too.
So, um, yeah, it was a nice.
a nice.
way to connect again, too, andjust kind of have that really
extra, extra special thing.
Kimber (20:08):
Right.
I feel like that would be reallychallenging when the way that
you like to connect, likethrough doing stuff is how you
described that.
Like when that is no longer ornot no longer, but for a time
that's not an option.
To you, and it forces you tokind of like relearn or like
connect in different ways or,you know, just press into the
(20:29):
relationships you do have, like,um, I mean, do you feel like
your marriage was strengthenedthrough that like time of
isolation?
I would think probably like,what was that?
What was that like for you?
Heather (20:39):
We definitely like got thrown into the deep end really
fast and figured out who eachother were honeymoon was cut a
little short, but Yeah.
no, I, we are.
Going through that has made us,like we can get there anything
like we that's, it's justsomething we can say, like,
Kimber (20:55):
We went through that year, too.
Heather (20:56):
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we're fine.
Well, we'll do the next thing.
What's next.
Um, so yeah, we definitelythink, like I said, my husband's
kind of a fighter.
So he's just started just kindof like, okay, we got this.
Kimber (21:07):
Well, I knew you did have, you did have next things,
right?
Like.
Like that was not the end ofyour story.
Heather (21:14):
No, no, I
Kimber (21:16):
else did this forced isolation come up for?
You?
Heather (21:19):
Well, so he think we came home.
Right.
And I had a few friends that hadstayed the same, but life was
kind of changing.
so when I came home, because myimmune system started over.
I wasn't able to go back toteaching for a year.
So that was, that was kind of abig part of my identity and my
community.
Whereas my teaching friends, um,You know, Th those teaching
(21:40):
friends are awesome.
Um, but so it started to kind oflead us to a new community.
and then at that time, you know,it was just kind of that age
where all of our air firstfriends are starting to have
kids and.
Just kind of in this part wherethere's like, okay, there.
I'll work on a baby shower atthe baby shower and just kind
Kimber (21:57):
Yeah.
Heather (21:58):
and at that point I was still doing cancer checkups and
things.
So just kind of like, ah, Idon't know, here.
I'm starting to get this long inmy heart that.
I was like, I want to be part ofthat group.
Like, I want to be part of thatwomen that are having kids and
like, I've always had thisdream, you know, like I'm going
to be a mother and this is goingto be great.
But that wasn't an option forme.
(22:19):
So it was really hard and justkind of forced me to kind of
like pull away from those peoplethat were my kind of.
those are my people.
That was my group, but just kindof pulling away from them was
really hard.
Kimber (22:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you feel like that was like ahealthy shift?
Like this is what I needed to doyou know?
Cause sometimes I feel like thatis like, actually talked about
this a couple of weeks on thepodcast with a friend is like,
sometimes there are times whenit's like, I'm just not in the
same season as you.
And so I need to find somepeople who are, or was it more
like that was.
Like what you did, but not maybewhat would've been best for you
(22:51):
in that scenario.
Like what was it for you?
Would you say.
Heather (22:55):
Um, Um, probably was a little bit of pride that I was
like having these feelings oflike, you know, jealousy and
that, and I was a littleprideful that I was like, oh,
this is how I feel.
And then part of me also didn'tneed to find some other avenues.
And once I did kind of findthose other avenues, I was able
to be happy with them.
but I did have to go find thatother part of my life.
(23:18):
Yes, Yes, because it was, I wasstruggling and I was, you know,
I was at home all day and I waslike, what is going on?
Um, so it really was more of a,a loneliness because I wasn't
able to join in with some oftheir stuff, or I didn't feel
like I was able to join in withthem.
Kimber (23:34):
And that it wasn't even an option for you then, and you
don't have anything to distractyourself because you're not
working or you can't go work,you know?
Heather (23:43):
job.
Yeah.
and they did have to go findsome things.
Like I started like volunteeringcause I was like, I just need to
do Something.
Yes.
And I think through that, like Ijoined.
Um, it was called Eaglemountain.
It.
We rafted and we skied with kidsand that was, that was me.
Right?
Like I was, I was able to beactive again, and I was able to
(24:03):
like pour my energy, and kind ofmeet different people and
almost.
Create new groups through thatchange.
That there's no way I would havedone that.
If I had been in that.
same season before, Um, so itjust kind of, it shifted
everything and I was able toshare kind of my story with new
people and like engage with newpeople that.
(24:24):
Really, I wouldn't have left mylittle air force bubble or my
school bubble.
If I hadn't been like.
Kimber (24:29):
unless you were forced
Heather (24:30):
out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think God works so muchthrough our life and like
opening doors and closing doorsand opening doors and closing
doors.
I was like, okay.
Yes, God.
I see.
I see what you were doing duringthat time for sure.
Kimber (24:41):
Yeah.
absolutely.
Um, man, what do you feel likein that season?
Like you learned most about Godlooking back in that time?
Like, what do you feel like hewas teaching you then?
Or what did you learn about him?
Through that being forced out ofyour, your old bubbles.
Heather (24:57):
Yeah.
no, I think trust for sure.
And this one is definitely aharder lesson from God, because
it was a darker time for me.
It was definitely where Iwithdrew and I became a little
more angry and questioning.
And, you know, like, why are yougiving me or why have I always
had this desire to be a mom whenlike this isn't an option for
me?
Um, and like looking back, likeI can see where everything was.
(25:18):
He was weaving his plan throughit.
but like having to get throughthat time of waiting and
understanding and just, eventhat rest kind of like what we
talked about in our Bible studythere, they just like resting in
this time or it was like, Godwas like, just, just stop.
I've got this.
Yes.
Yes, completely.
So, and I, I'm still learning torest and do all those things.
It's not like we're done by anychance, but
Kimber (25:39):
Well, man, it's, it's So.
hard though, because you'relike, I mean, you feel these
negative feelings and I wastalking about this, uh, The
other week with, um, our guests,Susie, who was on a couple of
weeks ago.
And like, you know, sh I think,I think I so often think of
these negative.
Emotions as like bad need to getrid of them, but what she talked
about is like these negativefeelings aren't necessarily like
(26:02):
bad, get rid of kind of things.
But like, if we can recognizethem and allow them to push us
toward better things, liketoward community, towards
stepping out of our comfort zonetoward God.
Sorta like whatever it is, thenwe're acknowledging them for
what their purposes, like, youknow, they're to help us be
healthier.
And sometimes we have to feelthose negative things.
(26:23):
To propel us.
Into better places or into whereGod wants us to be in.
And it feels like such a hard.
Reality, I think to wrap my mindaround because I'm like, okay,
like, God is good, but you know,he will use these things that
are hard in our lives to push ustowards.
Better things for us and that'sman, when you're in it.
That doesn't feel that doesn'tfeel
Heather (26:44):
Yeah.
No, no.
I went, that was a rough season,for sure.
So, Um, Yeah.
Got it.
Got us doing amazing things, butsometimes getting through them
is very, very difficult to, soYeah.
Kimber (26:54):
And that led you guys then did that lead you down the
road of adoption?
Or how did you kind of get tothat point in your, in your
lives?
Heather (27:02):
Um, that was just kind of a cool.
W well, so we ended up figuringout that I wasn't able to have
kids.
Um, some of it's due to thechemo and different things like
that.
But so my husband and I werelike, okay, let's just leave.
You know, we were just kind ofready to escape and like
restart.
Cause that's what you do at themilitary.
So.
I'm like, okay, let's gosomewhere overseas.
(27:24):
Let's do something good.
And God took us to Alabama.
And that was not where I wantedto go.
I was so mad.
Because I'm a Colorado girl.
I need my mountains.
Am I snow?
You.
You know, like, oh, I was nothappy.
Um, And then we went down thereand we met this most amazing
little boy who needed a mom anda dad.
And, um, he's just the coolestkid.
(27:46):
So he's 13 now.
Um, he came to live with us whenhe was four.
So I just I'm just so proud tobe his mom.
He's just such a cool kid.
So, yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Cool.
Um, Cool story through there andGod, again, like God took us to
there.
And just the way that he pushedus in her life was so amazing.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Kimber (28:05):
And as we were talking, you kind of.
Give the impression that likethat.
And I don't know if it was thepost-adoption season with him or
with your other kiddos, but ittalked a little bit about how,
just like, again, that forcedisolation came.
After adoption, because it'slike a time when you really need
to like, help them feel safe andsecure and your family and
(28:26):
stuff.
Will you share a little bitabout just like how that theme
came up again, through that timein your
Heather (28:31):
Yes, absolutely.
so we had doctors on and then,um, our two daughters came to
our house too, and they were alittle bit younger, so they were
ages two and three.
When they came into our house.
And, you know, they.
They didn't know us before.
It was a very fast transitionfor them.
So, um, they kind of came in herhouse and life had to literally
(28:52):
just shut down and we had tohelp them just feel safe and
secure.
So again, like I was, um,working at a school and I just,
I quit my job and.
Um, we weren't with friends and.
stuff, or like, we're, we'rejust going to keep you outside.
Like these girls need to knowthat this is their family.
These are the people we cantrust.
So even we put a hold on oursmall group and our church and
(29:15):
just kind of like really focusedin word.
Um, and just helping them knowlike, okay, you are safe here in
this house and we are yourpeople, you know, have having
them figure that out.
Cause if we're having peoplecome in and out, like, they'd
get.
You know, like, oh, who is this?
We just, we wanted them to feelsafe in our house.
so we definitely had a fewmonths of that, where it was
just us focusing on them.
(29:36):
And having to say no toeverything else was really hard
for me, because again, like Iwant to get out, I want to take
them to the park.
I want to do
Kimber (29:43):
Yeah, I do the fun things.
Right.
Heather (29:45):
Yes.
Like, oh, let's take them to themusic park and let's go to the
beach and let's go do this.
And it was not the time forthat.
They just needed to be in ourhouse, playing in the backyard,
you know?
And that was, that was a seasonthat I was like, okay, we can
get through this.
Kimber (29:58):
Yeah.
How long did you end up sort ofhaving that season be like
saying no to a lot more thingsthan you might normally.
Heather (30:06):
So that kind of jumps into COVID too.
So I'm not sure.
how long it would have been.
So we got them in September andthen, so we pretty much shut
down and we kind of startedgetting back in like January and
then lifetime.
I doubt, I guess.
So, Yeah.
about four months that we kindof were like, we just need to be
here.
And we just started likereaching out and like maybe
(30:28):
meeting friends at the park ordoing just like barely out a
little bit.
Kimber (30:33):
you can kind of,
Heather (30:34):
Yeah, yeah.
yeah.
Just getting out a tiny bit.
so we couldn't do the thingsthat we were used to.
Right.
So, but this season was a littlebit different where.
We had friends that would justdrop off like boxes and boxes of
toys, because we didn't haveanything for a little girls in
our house.
So we'd had friends that droppedus the most music, clothes and
(30:54):
toys and food, and, um, I wouldhave a friend that when we were
having some hard times at thehouse, she would just talk in
her phone and she would justtell me your prayer and send it
as a text message.
And it was like, oh, that's whatI needed.
Like, I just needed thatencouragement.
Um, because I couldn't go for awalk with her or get together at
school, like we were doing.
(31:15):
and it was just amazing to havethose people support you, even
though you weren't able to be inthat community that you were,
um, in the past, for
Kimber (31:23):
It it's such a, and that was probably such a shift to
like, because you're when youwere sick, that was forced on
you.
Like yes, you chose to comply,but like, cause you knew that
was what you needed to do.
But with this time being likemore, uh, willing choice, like,
okay, this is the decision, thisis what we know we need to do.
how did that like hit your heartdifferently?
(31:46):
Like, did you find yourselfhaving any kind of like, fears
that came up from your previousexperience in that kind of
isolation, or was it just likeyou were motivated in that time
and knew is the right thing.
So it felt easier.
You'd done it before.
Like, what was your experiencethere?
Heather (32:01):
I think because it was other people.
It was a little harder for me.
So when it was just me like,okay, you know, like I can
trust.
God, I got this.
Now when it was the girls, itwas like, oh, like I'm in charge
of these people.
And it kind of had that weirdmom push and pull with it where
it would made it more difficultfor me to be like, oh, am I
(32:21):
doing this right?
Is this right?
Is this and like, Trusting God.
And this has been more of alearning curve than it was when
it was when I was sick.
Like when you were sick, it waskind of like the doctors had the
answers then this whereparenting like.
Ooh.
Kimber (32:34):
You feel like I sorta need the answers.
Heather (32:37):
Right.
Sometimes it's just trial anderror and yeah, sometimes.
we're just flying by the seat ofour pants, seeing what they need
and, Um, you know, then beans alittle, sometimes they didn't
know what they need or theycouldn't express it, or they
didn't know the hurts that theyhad.
Um, so they had a hard time withthat and they didn't know why
they're upset.
Um, so helping them through thatwas much different.
(32:58):
then going through it myself,where it was.
I can put my trust in God forthat, but with my daughters,
it's much harder for me and I'mstill learning it.
To be honest, we're stillworking through this
Kimber (33:09):
there outside of you too.
Like that, at least that'ssomething I've experienced is
unique with.
Having a baby is like, trust isalways a thing for me and God
we're always working on it.
I suck at it.
And.
Um, it's like when it's my life,that feels very different than
also trusting him with my kid.
And I'm not sure why that is.
(33:29):
Do you know why that is for you?
I don't know.
Heather (33:33):
I think it's a control thing for me.
I want to, I want to make thisperfect little life in this
control and have everythinggreat for them.
And I do need to let it mytrust, or I need to trust God
that God loves him just as much.
I do and way more.
You know, I think a lot of timesit's like, I know, I know it's
best.
I got this.
Because I want to control howthey are and everything that's
(33:55):
going on.
So I'm just remembering that.
God loves them.
He made them, he designed thisand he has a plan just as much
as I do or more, more than I dofor sure.
So.
Kimber (34:05):
Right.
Friends, just interrupting theshow for just a second to share
a resource that I would love foryou to leverage for your
friendships.
My new digital download iscalled 20 facts.
You should know about yourfriends and it's a questionnaire
style page that you can use tojust generate some conversation.
(34:27):
At your next get together.
My intent with this resource wasto give you an intentional way
to learn some important aspectsof your friends' personalities
or likes.
Key moments from their lives.
All with the goal of being moreintentional in loving our
friends while.
Do you want to drop off asurprise coffee?
Well, you've got their order.
Maybe you're bad at rememberingbirthdays.
(34:48):
It's good.
It's in your phone already.
Or maybe you need gift ideas.
Good thing.
You already know all theirfaves.
I hope that this will be a greatresource for you to engage in
conversation with your friends,get to know them better and have
a place to save.
And remember some of theseimportant details.
You can find this free PDFdownload on my website, which is
linked in the description ofthis episode.
(35:10):
Okay, friends back to the show.
What would you say, like madethe difference for you?
Going through that, like initialseason of isolation with the
girls and then like rolling intoCOVID like, how did you, how did
you make it through?
Like, what would you say islike, one or two things that
like made the difference for youthat helped you get through
(35:30):
that?
Heather (35:31):
It definitely, definitely the support of
people, even though they weren'table to be there just like, but
cards or letters or even emails.
My grandma always email me andjust was just so encouraging,
uplifting.
Um, she had four boys, so she'slike, you can do this.
You're going to be
Kimber (35:46):
You got this?
Heather (35:47):
Um, yeah, so I think there is some things that was
like the outside perspective.
and then I do think when weApril.
Again, we're able to collapse.
And only the important thingsmattered.
where we weren't as focused onyou.
you.
know, that meeting I had to getto at school or this activity or
This where it just kind ofeverything shifted or we could
(36:08):
see this is what is importantright now.
This is what is needed.
Yes.
This is what, this is what mydaughters need.
This is what my son needs.
This is what our family needs atthis time.
which was a huge thing becausewe get so busy with certain
things or volunteering.
Like I said, I love to volunteerand get out there and meet new
people.
And that wasn't the time forthat, that wasn't the season for
(36:28):
that at all.
So figuring that out and havingGod say, okay, you're done.
Just, just take a break.
Um, it
Kimber (36:33):
Trusting him and being content where you're at.
Yeah.
That's such a, such a hardthing, especially when it's
like, I didn't exactly sign upto be here.
You know, even when you did, butyeah,
Heather (36:43):
I, yeah.
and I did, I just, I didn'tthink it was a little different,
um, with our two differentadoptions, kind of where, where
we went with my son, I was ableto keep working and doing all
the things and then theirdaughters, I just, I wasn't, and
I wasn't completely prepared forthat.
but Where they were is what,that's, what I needed to do.
Um, and then when our wholefamily was able to come together
(37:07):
and just be alone.
Um, and really that, that timewas such an important time for
us to grow as a family unit.
Unit for sure.
So,
Kimber (37:15):
Um, you saw at school that you were able to see the
benefit of it, even as it washard, because I feel like that
sometimes gives us themotivation, you know,
Heather (37:22):
Yeah.
Kimber (37:23):
To get through it.
If you could like go back tojust your younger self in these
different seasons and just saylike, listen, like, here's what
you need to know to get throughthis.
Like in that moment, in thosehard times, like, what would you
say.
To yourself, will you, youryounger self to encourage her in
that moment?
Heather (37:43):
Oh, I would, I would just say God's got a plan for
you.
Like God has this, like he knowsthis plan and there's times that
it's not going to be easy andit's fine.
And there's going to be tears.
Um, but like hindsight's 2020,like, this is such a cool story.
I love my family.
I love that.
He brought us all together.
Like when you see us together,it's like, oh yeah, like you
(38:04):
guys.
Yeah.
You're all supposed to be theretogether.
and I, my husband and I hadtalked about it the other day
and like, we've been.
Like in a relationship for 20years now.
And we're like, oh my gosh.
If I had that 20 years ago, whenI met you, that this is where
we'd be like, I don't know.
Kimber (38:20):
You wouldn't have believed it.
Yeah.
Heather (38:22):
No, absolutely not.
There's nothing about this thatI was like, yep.
We'll live in Alaska.
We'll have.
And these three kids, and thisis what you'll be doing.
It's Nope.
Nope.
Not at all.
But like, God's got this, likehe does, and it's not going to
be your plan.
And it's going to get some bumpsand doors are going to be shot.
But he's got you.
He's got you all the way throughit.
So
Kimber (38:41):
I love that knowing like, like you say, hindsight's
20, 20, right?
Like having this hindsight fromthese times and like knowing
what you know now.
looking forward to bumps thatwill come right?
Like if you ever find yourselfin this season, like a season of
forced isolation again, what doyou think?
Like you'll do differently.
This time, like what will be apriority to you in different
(39:03):
ways?
or what habits will you havelike that you're like, oh, I
need to do this better.
Learning from what you, what,where you've.
Heather (39:11):
Yeah.
I think getting older, I knowmore people right now, so like I
can step out and almost kind ofhumble myself and ask friends or
people say, Hey, you know, like,I need your help through this,
or just kind of saying, like,what advice do you have because
there's always somebody eithercan pray for you or who's been
through something or.
That can just kind of encourageyou during these times and you
(39:34):
can look ahead and see like,okay.
They've done this, or they'vebeen through this and, they can
support you.
So sometimes I, I rely onmyself.
A lot of times I rely on myselfand I'm.
I go look inward.
I'm like, I can do this.
It's fine.
Just don't worry about it.
Everybody walk away.
Let me handle it.
Where I need to reach out and Idon't always reach out.
(39:55):
So, Yeah.
texting somebody, findingsomebody or just even stepping
out of your comfort zone andjoining a women's Bible study.
I mean, really don't have thetime where you don't really want
to, or, you know, it just feelsa little awkward or volunteering
for that thing.
That's kind of tugging on yourheart.
if it's, you know, if you'reable to, like those things will
help push you and like,
Kimber (40:14):
Right.
Heather (40:15):
Take you into past that you may not have sought where
for you, but maybe God's goingto use that in a different way.
Kimber (40:21):
Mm, I love that you tie that mindset and like, uh, those
actions to getting older becauseI really.
I think you're right.
Like I think we learn.
The longer we spend as likeadults trying to figure out.
The friendship thing and likehandling loneliness and
navigating like the hard thingsof life.
I think we do come to theconclusion that like, oh, I
(40:43):
really can't do this alone.
and I think some people thathappens earlier, some it happens
later in life, maybe dependingon their unique stories.
But, I love that you tie that toage because it's just such a
reminder that like, we're allgetting more and more equipped
to realize that we need eachother.
And so it's like, as we'rewalking, our different roads.
If you're realizing this moreand more, I think that's like a
(41:04):
very normal thing and like leaninto that.
You know, lean into those morerelationships that you have,
that you've accumulated over thecourse of your life so far, and
don't be afraid to rely on them.
even if you haven't before,because.
Yeah, we need each other and itjust, it becomes more and more
apparent to me that.
I don't got it on my own.
I really don't.
(41:26):
I really don't.
Heather (41:27):
Yeah, That's one of the reasons I love our mom's group.
Cause we can get together and wecan share those insecurities or
those questions or those.
What is God doing and why?
Just cause, cause we all havethose and we need each other
through that to encourage eachother and just build each other
up.
Um, Because sometimes we're ourworst critic.
so yeah.
And we'll, we'll create thatloneliness for sure.
Kimber (41:49):
Yeah.
And it's like the more, I thinkthe more you do practice that
the more you realize, we all arekind of experiencing the same
stuff.
Like maybe not every singleperson, but like, even just in
like our, our small moms group,the people who can relate to
each other, like I, you know, wecan't all relate to each other
in every like, specific way.
(42:10):
In general.
I think, you know, we can, butthere's usually someone, I feel
like there's someone who has aconnection in some way, and
that's just in a small group oflike, 10 to 12 people.
And so, yeah, like we are soblessed these days with, I
think, lots of ways to connectwith each other and lots of
resources if we.
Choose to, you know, reach outto those things.
(42:30):
And there's someone out there,like you said, that's, that's
ready to walk with you.
Which is such a
Heather (42:35):
even.
even.
if you haven't talked to them ina while, like it's okay.
I've had texts from randompeople.
It's like, oh, that's been alittle bit.
And I've text somebody recentlythat I probably haven't talked
to in four years and we wereable to reconnect and she was
able to kind of provide me withsome advice that was so valuable
to me.
Um, so again, I kind of humblingmyself and be like, Hey, I need
(42:56):
you.
And.
Um, figuring out that and shewas, she was blessed by that and
I was blessed and God's putthose people in your life for a
reason too.
So
Kimber (43:04):
And don't be afraid to do that because, you know, I
think about it and I'm sometimesI feel a little self conscious
to do that because I'm like, oh,like maybe they'll think it's
like weird because we haven'ttalked in a while or like, oh, I
just like need you now.
Or, you know, uh, not like 24, 7or something, but really like,
if someone reached out to melike that, I would like, that
would bless me.
Like, I wouldn't be, it wouldn'tseem like, oh, you haven't
(43:26):
talked to me in four years andnow you need me.
Okay.
Like, no, it would be like,Yeah.
like I want to meet you there inthis neat in this space.
Or he needs something.
And so, and I think probablymost people are like that.
Maybe not everyone, but I think,I think we can probably have
more confidence in doing that.
Then maybe we do natural.
We do like are afraid of, orwhatever.
Heather (43:45):
Yeah,
Kimber (43:45):
So that's cool.
Well, Heather, something thatstood out to me since I first
asked you, just to talk aboutwith the podcast and everything,
Like I mentioned at thebeginning, you were like, I've
got a cool story and that wastrue.
I would say like, you do have acool story, like you said, but.
since I've heard it, I've justbeen thinking about like how you
(44:07):
have come to see it that way,because, you know, it's like,
you're telling us this story andlike it's full of a hot, her
really hard stuff.
And, you know, it's like we cansee sort of not the end end, but
you know, an end of parts of it.
And, so I would just love tohear kind of your perspective on
like how you've come to see.
Just like a lot of painfulthings in your story as like how
(44:30):
you've come to describe that aslike a cool story.
A good story.
So, when do you think, like thatshifted for you?
Like how did you begin seeing,you know, your cancer
infertility struggled over yourfamily?
Like, how did you start seeingthat pain?
Through the lens of a goodstory, because I think a lot of
times I just think of it aslike, oh, these bad things
happen to me and thank God I gotthrough them, but I love that
(44:53):
you describe it that way.
So how did that shift like kindof happen for you?
Heather (44:58):
I think through every different season, I could see
kind of where God worked.
And a lot of times it was towardthe end of it, where it was
like, During the cancer.
it was pretty hard, but like,when I got the last test for the
cancer and they're like, you arehealed.
Like we don't ever want to seeyou again.
You're like, okay, are you sure?
You know?
And then when they finalize theadoptions and when our family
(45:18):
was, you know, like sometimeswe'll sit at the dinner table
and I'll just look around and belike, oh my gosh, this is so
amazing that God has brought usthrough this.
Like God gave me these longingsAnd these desires.
And yes, we went through this,but if we didn't go through
this, this wouldn't be possibleat this point.
and I think he gives us aslonging and.
Desires any can fulfill them, orsometimes he changes them to.
(45:40):
And we have to know that he isfaithful through those things.
and then I also think like,because of some of these stories
or things that I've beenthrough, like I've been able to
connect with other women that Iwould never have connected with.
and I think.
Because of that, like we're ableto work with each other and help
each other, and it's just beenso rewarding to see us or to see
(46:00):
God's work.
through that where we wouldn'tnecessarily.
have been there if I didn't gothrough some of these
experiences, um, Yeah.
and God's not done.
Like they're still hard seasonsand we're still working on lots
of trust and everything else.
But I do think like it's justsuch a cool story.
I love, I
Kimber (46:17):
Um, Oh, that's so cool because I love.
That you're like acknowledge.
Yes.
Like sometimes it does come withthe closure of a season.
And it's like, sometimes I thinkit's hard to see when you're in
that like messy middle, like inthe middle of a season to see
like, Hey, there's going to bean end to this at some point, or
there's going to be some kind ofclosure.
(46:38):
and so I love that reminder tojust like, wait for that and
like continue trusting him aswe're looking forward to that
time when he is gonna.
Uh, we're going to see the fruitof his faithfulness.
Heather (46:50):
Right.
Even if, even if it's not theway that we thought it would
happen, like he is stillfaithful and he is still good.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Kimber (46:58):
that.
Man Heather, that is, thatperspective is just such like
goals for me.
It's.
Oh, man.
The trust thing is like so hard.
I feel like everything in mystory, like always comes back to
that, that God's working on myheart.
And so, um, I love hearing fromyou just how you've seen that
and how he's grown yourconfidence in his faithfulness
through, through those timeswhen you had to, had to trust
(47:20):
really actively.
So thank you so much for sharingwith us today and.
Um, yeah, I love, I lovedhearing your story the first
time I got to, and then I'mhearing it through the lens here
of just like how you kind of, inretrospect, what you've learned
about God and.
How it's established even morelike your trust in him.
that's just a really coolperspective.
(47:42):
So thanks so
Heather (47:43):
Thanks for having me.
I
Kimber (47:44):
absolutely.
It was so fun.
What are you, um, what are youdoing for fun coming up in your
life?
How are you and your family,getting out there these days,
because you're not in thisforced isolation anymore,
Heather (47:56):
No.
Um,
Kimber (47:58):
Or are
Heather (47:59):
We know you're out.
We are in Alaska.
Like, are you kidding me?
Kimber (48:03):
Yeah.
What do you guys do for fun?
Heather (48:05):
so I love to downhill ski it's my, my thing is how I
met my husband.
Like we, we, the girls scheme, IS my son's no worries.
Like we love to get out there.
So if we can get out there asmuch as they can, as.
But surely with all this newpowder.
Kimber (48:19):
Yeah, we've gotten a
Heather (48:20):
there as much.
Oh, my goodness so much.
better.
We went skiing the other day andit was, it was a little rough on
the legs, but, um, yeah, as muchas we can be outside, I love the
winters here.
Um, they're just, they'reamazing.
Summers are good too, but
Kimber (48:34):
cool.
I love that God has brought youback to the time when you can
get out and do stuff.
Heather (48:39):
Yeah, That's me too.
Kimber (48:40):
That's awesome.
Very cool.
Well, Heather, thanks so muchfor chatting with us today.
I loved it.
I'll talk to you later, friend.
Heather (48:47):
Thanks.
Kimberly, I'll talk to you soon.
Kimber (48:53):
Friends.
I'm so glad you could joinHeather and I this week on the,
your sister Kimber podcast.
Heather does have such a goalstory, and I really hope it
spoke to your heart today.
A message of encouragement, butmaybe also some challenge like
it did to me.
When we're in it, it's so hardto zoom out and remember God's
faithfulness.
(49:13):
So I challenge you to take sometime in prayer to do that today.
To consider how he is writingsuch a cool story in your life
to.
If you enjoyed my conversationwith Heather today, I would be
so honored.
If you would head over now toapple podcasts and leave a
rating and review of thepodcast.
It not only blesses me to hearfrom you, my friends, but
(49:33):
reviews Also help new friendsfind the show and know that it's
worth their listen.
Even if you don't listen onapple podcasts, you can find a
direct link to rate the showthere at the link in my bio, or
if your favorite podcast playerhas the option to review, you
can do that there too.
And lastly, I want to make sureyou know, that I want you to
part of my newsletter crew.
If you don't receive my weeklynewsletter, go to my website now
(49:56):
and subscribe.
You'll just get one email a weekin your inbox with a preview of
what will be on the podcast thatweek, As well as the link to
this month's blog post a tip ofthe week to help you grow your
friendships in practical waysand a resource suggestion to
check out such as a book, apodcast, Instagram account,
things like that.
Just people and things that arehelping me grow as a friend that
(50:18):
I want to share with you.
So to get this email, justsubscribe at the link in the
description of this episode.
Friends.
Thank you so much for being partof this community until next
time.
It's your sister Kimber.
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