May 3, 2023 • 52 mins
Sue Corl shares her story of learning to walk secure and beloved in her identity in Christ through lonely moments. Kimber and Sue discuss the journey of dismantling the lies we believe and how a Jesus-centered view of identity helps us navigate dark days with confidence in the truth of the gospel.
Sue is an international women’s conference speaker, wife and mother of two adult children, author, mentor, Bible teacher, founder and CEO of Crown of Beauty International, and host of His Heartbeat Podcast. She has a passion to see women set free to live in the powerful truths of who they are in Christ and the love of God. She lived twenty-five years in Asia, and currently, she travels to help women throughout Asia, Africa, Europe, the Middle East, and the U.S. Connect with her at https://www.crownofbeautyinternational.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
kimber (00:09):
hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimber Gilbert, andI'm so glad you're here.
Today we're wrapping up ourseries on loneliness, which has
been all about how lonelinesscomes for us all, but we can
learn to handle it in ways thathonor God and draw us closer to
Jesus.
The truth is that loneliness isa universal experience.
(00:31):
But when we have our identityfirmly rooted in Christ work and
affection for us, his daughters,we will be more equipped to walk
through these seasons with theLord near to help us reject the
enemies lies.
Today, we're talking about thiswith my friend, Sue coral of
crown of beauty international.
She's an author, speaker,missionary, and host of the, his
(00:52):
heartbeat podcast.
But foundationally, she is adaughter loved by God.
And her heart beats for womenall over the world to grow in
their relationship with Jesus bydiscovering their identity in
Christ.
I hope our talk today encouragesyou to grow authentic community
rooted in the Lord.
Right where you're at to help uswalk through any storm we may
(01:13):
face.
I wish that we could grab coffeewith Sue and hear her story, but
this is the next best thing.
I'm so glad you're here, friend.
Let's get started.
Hey Sue.
Good morning.
How are you doing?
Sue (01:29):
hey.
I'm doing great.
It's not morning here, but it'sa
kimber (01:33):
I know, yes, you're on the East Coast, right?
Sue (01:36):
yes, in Philadelphia.
kimber (01:37):
Okay.
Awesome.
Ha.
Have you always, well, I knowyou haven't always lived there,
but is that like where you'refrom or is that
Sue (01:43):
Yeah, I grew up here and when I graduated from college, I
moved to Hawaii.
kimber (01:49):
Okay,
Sue (01:49):
10 years before I moved to Asia, and then I returned to
Philly in 2016.
So I had this massive gap and Icome back, I'm like, ah, culture
shock.
I'm more culture shock here thanwhen I went to China.
I think
kimber (02:03):
Yeah, tell us a little bit about that.
Like what drew you to China?
How did you end up there?
What was that story?
Sue (02:10):
Well, first off was my family history.
On my, my mom's side.
She had uncles that were inChina as missionaries years upon
years ago.
So this is like in the.
1900 to 1950, like in that area.
So I always heard stories aboutthem.
We had artifacts that they'dbring back, that kind of thing.
(02:32):
So that intrigued me.
And then when I went to college,some girls were discipling me
from Penn State and one of thegals went there and went right
to me, you know, all year.
kimber (02:45):
Yeah.
Sue (02:46):
interesting.
And then in Hawaii, uh, I was inyouth ministry, but I.
helping with the E S L programand getting my master's in that,
and it was a lot of Chinesestudents and I loved them.
They were so fun, and I'm like,wow, this would be really cool.
So I went on two or three,three, I think uh, summer
(03:07):
teaching programs or languageprograms, and got a feel for
what it was like to live there.
So,
kimber (03:14):
Hmm.
Sue (03:14):
Way back when in 1991.
Uh, I,
kimber (03:18):
Can I say that's when I was born?
Sue (03:20):
Yeah, you can say
kimber (03:21):
is that a bad thing to say?
I love it.
Sue (03:24):
know, you're, you're only as young as you feel and I feel
very young.
kimber (03:28):
It's awesome.
I love it.
Ah, well that's so cool to hear.
I think we'll hear a little bitmore about it as we get into our
conversation today.
I'm so happy to have you heretoday.
Thanks for joining us.
I'm really excited for ourconversation as we we're
wrapping up our lonelinessseries today.
And I think what, we're gonnatalk about with identity is
going to be just a reallyimportant way to end it.
(03:49):
So I'm really thankful thatyou're here with us.
Will you introduce yourself alittle bit?
For our friends
Sue (03:55):
Sure.
Yeah, so like you said, I'm SueSue Coral.
I am married with two adultyoung adult kids.
Um, probably a little youngerthan you, but, uh, just getting
started in the world.
They're doing well though.
It's great.
Uh, I lived overseas forever, ina day, like 35 years, I think,
something like that.
(04:16):
Uh, way longer than I livedhere, so I'm still.
Reentry,
kimber (04:21):
Yeah.
Sue (04:21):
say shock, but I have been a missionary for years and I am
currently taking a ministry thatI began in Asia and it did
really well.
And when I moved back here in2016, it's taken off and we are
now becoming a formal nonprofit.
So I'm working with the boardand a lot of forms to fill out
(04:44):
and money to spend
kimber (04:45):
yeah.
Is that crown of beauty
Sue (04:47):
Yes, crown Beauty International, Uhhuh, And you
know, under that we have like ablog on our website, crown
beauty international.com and we,I have a podcast myself, which
Kimber for all use listening wason or will be on next week.
kimber (05:04):
Yeah.
I think by the time this talkcomes out, it will have been in
the past, so yeah.
It was so
Sue (05:09):
Yeah, that's all I figured.
So, so listen, go to it y'all.
kimber (05:12):
Cool.
Oh man.
So awesome.
you said it started in Asia, theCrown of Beauty international
program or Ministry.
Um, what did like starting thatlook like?
Like how did you get into that?
Where was the like, need forthat?
How did that come to
Sue (05:27):
Yeah.
Well my job at that time waslike a counselor for, people who
were living overseas and werejust struggling in that, you
know, they were having aministry or maybe they're
struggling, their marriage,whatever it was.
But they're, here they are inAsia and.
Not the normal resources thatyou have.
(05:49):
So either they come to me andstay with us for several days,
or I would travel.
I also traveled a lot.
So in doing that, I discoveredthat even women who were really
strong in their faith werestruggling so much.
And I would come back and myboss is like, how are they doing
(06:09):
their job?
And all this stuff.
And I'd go, well, I don't reallyknow.
The production of their job.
But I can tell you they're goingto be doing better now because
I've been able to help them.
And what I found Kimber, is thatwhat they really were struggling
with is they were believing alot of lies about themselves.
That when we're in that level ofstress, and I know you talk a
(06:33):
lot about loneliness on thisshow, there's a lot of that
going on when you live over.
And it springs out a lot ofstuff in your heart that you
didn't even realize that youbelieve about yourself.
And I personally went throughthat journey.
Uh, when I first went over thereand I was a single, but I wasn't
(06:55):
a young single.
I was 31 and 32 and 33 and stillsingle.
And that really triggered me,you
kimber (07:03):
Yeah.
Sue (07:04):
I'm a 10 for 10 extrovert so to
kimber (07:09):
I love that.
Sue (07:10):
like have millions of friends and always wanna be with
people at that point, I neededabout one hour alone a month,
and so to be put in thisenvironment, Back when not many
people were going to China, andI didn't speak the language that
well, I was studying along withteaching, but it, it's a long
(07:32):
process.
So I had Chinese friends, but itwas very surfacey, you know, and
there were very few foreignersthere at the time.
very few Christian foreigners ontop of that.
And, and then you had to becautious because people, even
the foreigners might.
Make up lies about you.
If they don't like you, all theyhave to do is go to the
(07:53):
authorities and say, oh, she'stelling people they're going to
hell or something like that, andthey're gonna stick you on an
airplane to go home at theworst, you know, at the best, I
should say the worst could beinterrogate for a while.
I really didn't wanna go throughthat, so, It was hard and I went
over there with my best friendfrom Hawaii, which was awesome.
(08:16):
So the first year was fun andyou know, we found people to be
friends with, but I had her, itwas okay.
And then this guy, uh, that cameover with us, we went over with
a kek company and this guy,there were two guys came, single
guys, which initially I wasreally excited cuz I thought I
must be going over.
(08:37):
To China to meet my husbandbecause I was really wanting to
be married even when I was inHawaii.
but I knew us to go to China atsome point, and the guys would
date me for a while and thenwhen they found out I was
planning in China, that was it.
kimber (08:51):
I mean, it's sort of a little bit of a deal breaker if
you're across the world,especially then when you didn't
have like, you know, texting andFaceTime and stuff.
Sue (09:01):
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I, we didn't have email.
That's how long we're
kimber (09:05):
Yeah, man, it's it's crazy.
Yeah.
Sue (09:09):
hate writing letters, but my mom wrote to me every day,
but I only wrote through thatonce a month, and you couldn't
call for five minutes.
It was$90,
kimber (09:19):
I bet.
Sue (09:20):
and back then$90 was like $200 today, you know?
So, Yeah.
you didn't do it.
Plus your, all your phone callswere listened to.
All your mail was read byauthorities, seemed to be really
careful.
I mean, even though you're notnecessarily doing anything
illegal, it just flaggedsomething.
If mom says, I'm praying foryou, and are you going to talk
(09:43):
to people about the Lord?
Like that
kimber (09:45):
Right.
So you always have to be alittle guarded in your
communication.
Sue (09:49):
And even your communication with other foreigners, you had
to be careful in in public, andour rooms could potentially have
been bugged at that point.
In fact, they were at differentpoints we discovered.
So yeah, so what happened is mybest friend started dating one
of those guys who was 10 yearsyounger than me.
(10:11):
So I had zero interest, but onlyfour years younger than her,
and.
I sort of lost my best friendfor a season.
You know how they're all likeCutesie, cutesie and always
kimber (10:23):
You wrapped up
Sue (10:24):
and dancing in the room and there was nowhere to go.
Socialize.
you know, at that point, Chinahas come a long way.
I gotta say it was really aprivilege to live in a country
that grew economically at a ratethat no other country in history
has grown.
And to go when I get there frombeing in so much poverty too, by
(10:47):
the time I left in thisstunningly beautiful city that
was so modern.
it was, it was
kimber (10:55):
It's wild to see that kind of a transformation.
Sue (10:58):
But anyway, I'm there starting out in the more
impoverished time and they'reimproving quickly, but, you
know, just the same.
And so, they would have theirgates in my, in our room, you
know,
kimber (11:11):
Right.
That's where you have to go.
Yeah.
Sue (11:14):
Yeah, and there were little hole in the wall restaurants,
but were packed out, you know?
So anyway, so I really becamevery lonely, And, it ended up
triggering a lot and it startedbringing up a lot of lies about
myself and about God,interestingly, that I never
(11:36):
really struggled with before.
Uh, I, I won't say the liesabout self.
I never struggle with.
I think it brought up one that Iwrestled with for years, which.
I'm not beautiful enough to finda husband because I was born
with a very severe cleft palate,26 surgeries for 15 years of my
life.
(11:56):
really a lot of rejection in
kimber (11:59):
Hmm.
Sue (11:59):
and obviously I'd come a long way and I dated a lot of
guys, but because they neverended up in getting married, you
know, you start wondering,
kimber (12:10):
what you hear.
Yeah.
In your head.
Yeah.
Sue (12:13):
Normally I have, I had a really great self-esteem, but I
did have a level of protectionof my heart with men because of
a lot of the hurt I'd had thatdidn't help, but I just started
to think, well, God, why did youbring me all the way here?
And now I'm gonna be single therest of my life because there's
(12:34):
no men to date.
You know what I mean?
Literally there was, was not,and, I did okay at first, but
when I lost my best friend andyou see her so happy and it got
engaged really quickly and.
I got very depressed.
Very depressed, and there wasn'ta counselor around.
There wasn't anybody to talk to.
(12:54):
You know what I talked to youabout?
What I did with counseling waslater, years later, okay?
At that point, you're just thereon your own.
You know, like a company hiresyou, the school hires you, and
there you are.
kimber (13:07):
Yeah,
Sue (13:08):
and you, you can't text people, you can't call people,
you don't have access toChristian books.
You
kimber (13:15):
Yeah.
Right,
Sue (13:17):
So it, it got pretty rough.
I will say.
kimber (13:19):
Yeah.
What do you feel like pulled youkind of out of that or like
moved you beyond that?
Was it just like a, a kind ofmoving through that time and
getting through it?
or what kind of helped you get
Sue (13:32):
No, it, it was.
Very dramatic actually, becauseI really didn't know why I was
struggling like that.
And I was trying at first to goto my Bible and, and when I have
doubts, does God exist?
Does he care?
Does you know, I would go to theword.
And that definitely helped, Iwill say, especially to fight
(13:52):
those lies about God.
But it didn't take away.
The loneliness and I startedhaving a lot of fear and it got
worse and worse every nightwhere I couldn't sleep, I lost
my appetite, and I really wasgoing downhill when the Lord
graciously.
(14:13):
Opened my eyes to recognize andto feel really that there was a
spiritual presence in my room ofdarkness of fear, spirits of
fear.
Now I was surrounded in thisdormitory by foreigners from all
over the world.
There was a, Buddhist guy whowas always chanting.
(14:33):
I had a Muslim guy doing his5:00 AM you know, chance in the
hall I
kimber (14:40):
Mm-hmm.
Sue (14:41):
Other people that you were coming in all hours a night
drunk and sleeping with people,and it wasn't the most
encouraging environment, And myroommate was being very sweet,
trying, but just the same.
She's in love with this guy.
You know?
That's where
kimber (14:57):
in a different spot, kind of probably mentally,
Sue (15:01):
she was definitely being sweet and trying.
But anyway, so one night I amjust freaking out.
I start realizing that, oh mygosh, there's something dark
here.
You know, really it was ademonic presence and I hadn't
really had much training onthat.
They don't teach that at church
kimber (15:21):
Sure.
Yeah.
A lot of times you don't talkabout it.
Yeah.
Sue (15:24):
No, they don't talk even though Jesus does all the time.
You know, there's tons inscripture about.
But at the most we hear is puton your spiritual armor,
whatever that means.
I mean, no, I know what itmeans.
kimber (15:39):
but no, I know what you mean.
Like it can seem, like a, a justa bandaid or like a catchall
phrase.
Like, oh yeah, do that.
But like, okay, what does thatlook like
Sue (15:48):
Yeah, how do you apply that?
What is, yeah.
And so I got terrified and I ranout of the room into the
adjoining room to my roommate.
It's like 2:00 AM I fell on topof her, just shaking, crying,
and she's, she goes, what?
What's the matter?
And I couldn't speak Kimber,nothing would come outta my
(16:09):
mouth.
I don't know if it was the fearor the enemy himself.
But she just started praying.
And I remember hearing her say,no one's ever told me to pray
like this
kimber (16:19):
hmm.
Yeah.
Sue (16:21):
then she just said, holy Spirit guide me.
I don't know how to pray.
And, and he did.
And he, and she told me to startpraying.
And of course I'm praying, butnothing's coming outta my mouth.
And.
Finally she says, just sayJesus.
Just say Jesus.
And I, I got Jesus out.
And years later I did this for awoman in Africa who was
literally dying.
(16:42):
They brought me to the hospitalcuz the doctor said she only,
she's gonna die very soon.
And if you know, like minutes,hours And she couldn't speak,
she couldn't move.
And the same thing where, whereI just started praying, um, and
telling her, just say, And Iprayed and, and slowly it came
out.
And that's what happened with meToo.
(17:04):
And once the word came out,Jesus, Jesus, it was like the
spirit just left that darkness.
I felt just leave and I feltfree, and then I could start to
pray.
And we just spent the next twohours just worshiping, praising,
and praying to God and, and,Asking for forgiveness, for my
(17:26):
doubts of him, uh, my doubts ofwhat's true about me, what's
true about him, what's trueabout my roommate, asking for
God's love for them as a coupleand, and just praising, mostly
just praising God.
And it was weird, kinder cuz thenext morning.
So I went to bed.
We got up in the morning andwe're in, we shared a bathroom,
(17:48):
right?
And so we're in the bathroom andstanding next to each other, and
I realized that, um, I wastaller than her, and I hadn't
felt taller than her in a while.
You know, it was so oppressive,
kimber (18:01):
it's like, yeah.
physically Wow,
Sue (18:05):
depression is very physically oppressive as well,
and he just lifted that.
And so I began to just say, I'mnot gonna go to those lies
again.
And so the enemy, you know rightaway is like, see, God doesn't
love you, ba da da.
And I'm like, I reject that liein Jesus name.
(18:26):
Thank you God that you love me.
And I really felt Kimber if Ineed to be single the rest of my
life.
I would get to have theexperience of God's love that
intimate and close, which I didthat night then it's worth it.
And I told him that, you know,not that I wanted that, but it's
(18:46):
like, Hey, I want that level oflove and intimacy with God above
all else.
And so I just began to reallyspeak truth and anytime a lie
came, reject it.
And that's what years later I.
Launched my ministry in, becauseI was seeing all these women
(19:06):
over there going through exactlythe same thing.
I mean maybe a little different,but
kimber (19:11):
But you see the pattern play out.
Yeah.
Sue (19:14):
we can.
Identify the lies and speak themout.
I reject the lie that I'm notgood enough, that I am ugly,
that I'm rejectable ununlovable, that I'm invisible,
you know, all those lies, orthat God has forgotten me or
doesn't care about me or is weakor whatever it is, right?
(19:34):
Is punishing me.
Pat, forgive me all those lies.
That in Jesus' name, we rejectthem and we speak out.
Then the truth of what God'sword says, women get free and I
got free and you know whathappened, Kimber?
You're not gonna believe this.
So three weeks later, my bosscalls me from, the teaching
(19:56):
company in Hong Kong and hesays, come visit me.
You need a break.
I heard you're doing really bad.
And I'm like, well, I'm a lotbetter.
But yeah, I'm exhausted.
But there was not a singleflight, which is freaky, but
it's cause they had these weirdEast Asian games.
So all the.
Planes were full.
So he said, then take a trainand just go somewhere.
(20:16):
So my roommate and I, jumped ona plane, not a plane, a train,
18 hour train, ride up north.
And visited another teachingteam that we had come over at
the same time, gone throughteacher training together.
And while we're there, I'mvisiting everybody and one of
the teachers who had just gottenthere, I had met five years
(20:39):
before, but I was either he wasdating or I was dating, I was in
California briefly.
Like eight months.
kimber (20:47):
Mm-hmm.
Sue (20:47):
um, and he was there anyway.
He had come and he said, well,when are you gonna spend time
with me?
And I was like, oh, okay.
Okay, okay.
I only have, The morning.
Cuz there was, oddly there was aguy who, when I called to set up
the housing, said, would youspend time with me?
Another guy turns out was,Todd's uh, neighbor.
(21:09):
And so I spent time with thatguy, but I really wasn't
attracted to him, you know, so,but I told Todd, I said, well,
I, I'll be back from, we aregonna go up to Beijing and do
the Great Wall and all thatthing.
I'll be back.
Tonight.
And so we got together and heasked me, yeah, how do you like
my neighbor?
And I was like, no, not gonnawork.
(21:32):
Even though I want, you know,you're not at that point where
you just marry anybody.
You know?
right?
Like, no.
And, uh, and he said, why?
And I told him some reasons andthen I said, And the other
reason is cuz I like you.
And I couldn't believe I saidthat, but it just kinda came
outta my mouth because fiveyears before, uh, when we couple
(21:56):
times gotten together, I reallydid like him, but either he was
dating or I was dating.
And so he laughed and he said,well, I've liked you for five
years.
And I was like, what?
Well, what are you gonna doabout it?
And he said, well, let me prayabout it while you're giving
your, Beijing thing and doingall these things and, and so
(22:16):
when we got together again afterthat, he said, it would be my
honor to date you, and we gotengaged.
Uh, well, he told me on the nextdate he loved me, that God had
home and loved me.
kimber (22:29):
Yeah.
Sue (22:30):
The next date after that, he let me know that we, we would
get married, but you know, wewere 18 hours apart.
So we, we were only getting tosee each other like every three
weeks at a conference.
Or he'd come to me, I'd go tohim,
kimber (22:42):
Wow.
Yeah.
Sue (22:44):
And uh, finally we came back to the States for the
summer and we got engaged andmarried three months later.
kimber (22:52):
Oh wow.
How cool that like you saw justthe.
Sweetness of the Lord like sosoon after, because the hat is
man, it's like sometimes I thinkthose things are more visible in
hindsight because it's not quiteas like, you know, boom, boom,
boom.
But like I think it's reallysweet of him when, when he just
(23:14):
shows us his kindness in thatkind of a way.
That's so cool.
how much later was it that youstarted counseling other women?
Like what did that
Sue (23:22):
Oh boy.
Okay.
So yeah, we got married and wewere in Seattle for a year and
then we went back to Asia.
but yeah, we were hopping aroundlike Hong Kong, Philippines, got
back to China, moved togethercity.
So it was after my kids, I hadgiven birth to two, two kitties
and they were.
(23:45):
Seven and five I think.
And it, I was doing this thingof mentoring women when I was
really seeing this need, but Ifelt frustrated because my
giftings teaching and as much asI love mentoring as well, that
would be like shepherding asecond gifting.
But I was really missingopportunities, critique, and I
(24:09):
asked the Lord, God, what?
When am I having get to teach?
You know?
And I've very profoundly heardfrom the Lord, write your life
message and I will bring
kimber (24:21):
Hmm
Sue (24:23):
And I didn't do it right away.
Oh.
And then he's scolding me thenext
kimber (24:28):
He's patient with
Sue (24:30):
me to be doing with my name?
And he made it very clear.
And so I started working onthose messages.
kimber (24:37):
Hmm.
Sue (24:37):
For several months I would, on Mondays I would get a
babysitter and I'd go do that.
And when I finished it was, itwas a few months later, I
finished these four messages,you know, with PowerPoints, all
that stuff.
And literally someone came up tome at church.
I had shared my testimony justfor briefly at church, and she
(25:00):
came up and she said, I'm newhere, but I'm an event
coordinator.
If
kimber (25:03):
Well,
Sue (25:04):
Speak.
I will coordinate a women'sconference for the international
community here.
I mean, it was crazy.
I'm like, well, he wasn'tkidding he.
kimber (25:14):
He was ready?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Sue (25:17):
So I did, and when I stepped down on the platform,
the Lord said, this is what Iwant you to do the second half
of your life.
And right after that, I, a galthat I knew who was local, she
turns out she knew people allover the country.
So that launched the wholething.
kimber (25:35):
Yeah.
Sue (25:36):
Then when I came back here, then all these doors opened up
internationally, and now we'restarting to work more on the US
side as.
kimber (25:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm, man.
That's incredible.
What a cool story.
Do you just love getting to,like Stewart, such a, an
incredible story.
Sue (25:53):
Yeah, it's if your heart is, I wanna serve you Lord, no
matter what.
That's a really hard prayer, andI've had to say it a few times
in my life, you know, in my.
Single gaze.
you know, it wasn't easy.
And I had a very seriousrelationship when I was 25.
I thought he was the one andgreat guy, great guy, had a
(26:17):
heart for China, he was livingthere.
and he broke it o off after ayear.
I think we were just too longdistance.
Like I said, there wasn't goodcommunication back then.
And again, that was, oh, it tookme like a year to get through
that.
But you, I just wanna encourageeverybody listening that God
does hear your cries.
(26:39):
He does listen, he does hearyour prayers.
You may not understand it, whyyou're having to wait,
kimber (26:46):
mm.
Sue (26:46):
God has a good purpose and I can tell you honestly, Kimber,
I'm so grateful, that I didn'tget married till 34 to Todd
number one because Todd'sawesome and he lets me be who I
am.
I'm a very strong leader andit's hard for guys when they're
women are like, going all overthe world.
(27:09):
Leading these big conferencesand that kind of thing.
So that's one beautiful thing.
But also because I went throughso much transformation in my
life, and sometimes God callsyou to do that with your
partner, and other times hecalls you to do that without a
partner and without kids, sothat you don't pass that on to
(27:31):
your kids.
And I feel like all the healingthat the Lord.
In my twenties, some withcounselors, some mentors, uh, in
the word through lifeexperience.
And then the dramatic experienceI had in China, it really
allowed me, I believe, to be amuch better mom and one that
(27:53):
wasn't dumping my messes with mykids So I'm very grateful for.
kimber (28:00):
Oh man, that, that is like such a good perspective
shift cuz I think it's so easyto see our per our perspective
as like what we lack, but likelooking for how did God bless me
through the circumstances I had,even if they weren't what I
wanted at the time.
So I love that you're able tosee them do that.
Sue (28:18):
Yeah.
And I, I encourage, like formoms with younger kids, that's
another really lonely timebecause you're just not.
Getting a lot of adult
kimber (28:28):
Yes.
Your time to like connect andthe how you do it is so, uh,
limited and constrained
Sue (28:36):
You're used to having your gal pals, you know, and Sundays
like, where are they?
kimber (28:43):
yes.
Sue (28:44):
But, I say two things with that.
One is, you know, seek out a.
Mom kid group, if you have tomake one, which is what we did
with my girlfriend and I arelike, ah, we need to like, Be
able to have time together.
So she opened her home and wejust started inviting other
(29:08):
women, and they are from allover the world and they
definitely were not allChristians.
So in some ways it gaveopportunity to also talk about
what God was doing in our life,but all the kids played together
and it just was nice week.
I really look forward to thattime each week.
That helps.
But the other thing is I foundthat I put so much expectation
(29:29):
on my husband.
Right, because when he comeshome, yay, get adult
conversation.
And he went through a seasonwhere his life was so hard.
He was the crisis manager ofcompany and uh, it was
exhausting.
So when he came home, he didn'twanna talk.
He's an introvert anyway, so hehad used up all his
kimber (29:47):
he was done Yeah.
Sue (29:50):
And so that was really hard.
And at first I felt angry,unloved.
You know, all those feelingsthat you
kimber (29:57):
Yeah.
Sue (29:58):
And one night, the Lord just woke me up.
I say night.
It was like four in the morning.
Three in the morning.
I knew as God, it was justcrazy.
It was like someone shook me andall, and I like to see, but
there was no one around me.
And, and he is, I was like, ohmy gosh.
Yeah, he wants me to get up.
So I did.
And, and immediately he.
(30:21):
Told me to read Isaiah.
And so I just started readingIsaiah and especially from
chapter 40 to 66, and I ended upspending three years in that
there's
kimber (30:33):
a good
Sue (30:33):
chapters and it was all about intimacy with God.
and, you know, and even song, asong after that
kimber (30:42):
Hmm mm-hmm.
Sue (30:43):
that and again, Realize that God wants to be the lover
of my soul and I can't look tomy husband to have that level
of.
I, I can have that level ofexpectation on him all the time.
Like, yes, you'll have momentsthat are really sweet, but with
(31:04):
God, you can have those momentsall the time.
Now there are wilderness times,but you can know even in the
wilderness, that hepassionately, intimately loves
you, that that hasn't changed,you know?
kimber (31:19):
Hmm.
Hey friend, forgive me fortaking a quick moment in this
conversation to ask a favor ofyou.
I hope my conversation with Sueis blessing you today.
And if so, would you take amoment to rate and review the
show on apple podcasts?
Reviews are huge in helping newfriends find the show.
(31:40):
And I love reading.
What's blessing you from thepodcast.
You can find the link to leave areview in the description of
this episode.
So thanks so much for taking asecond to do that.
Okay.
Now back to the show.
Sue (31:56):
So that was another lesson that I learned, and I just
encouraged.
All of you to.
Have high expectations of Godand say, Lord, I need you.
I, i need you.
Please, meet me in intimateways.
And those chapters, Isaiah 40 to66, song of Songs are full of
(32:17):
God's intimate love for you.
And, um, that's how he wants torelate to my latest thing is to
buy the Passion Bible.
Have you heard
kimber (32:26):
Yes, I do.
I have a sweet friend who turnedme onto it a few years ago, and
I love how it, I feel like itdoes really, uh, highlight
especially that side of thescripture of like, you know,
God's presence and his justdelight in
Sue (32:46):
Mm-hmm.
kimber (32:47):
which I think sometimes we get so, you know, sterilized
by at least I think of like ourAmerican culture that's very
like independent, you know?
And we like, like to take careof ourselves and we don't need
anyone.
And if you like someone toomuch, like you should probably
chill because uh, what if theydon't like you that much back?
Like, you know, it's all very,um, protective, I think of
(33:10):
ourself and.
that's not what God has for us.
I don't think, like you'resaying, like he wants us to
fully depend on him.
Like he, he loves it when we arefully in need of him.
And so, yeah.
I love the, the passiontranslation.
I think it's beautiful.
What stood out to you most aboutit?
(33:30):
What do you love about it?
Sue (33:32):
Well, I, I just found it, you know, recently and I went a
Christmas spot for everybody.
I know.
I really love it.
and I do like to dig into theword and I go back and look at
original language, you know, tobe sure things are accurate and
all.
And, and it, I think for themost part it really is.
(33:53):
It just, sometimes it's puttingit in our, our vernacular, our
everyday language today.
but it is, it does lean towardshelping.
To see how intimately God, Godis connected to us.
The other thing, my husband andI started watching the chosen
every night before we go to bed.
(34:15):
I'm hooked.
But what I love about it is theway the actor portrays Jesus is.
So, I think it's so on themoney, just incredibly
unconditional love pouring outto everyone around him.
Sinner or not, you know, woundedor not just.
(34:35):
And not at all reactionary.
Like, what?
You don't trust me or whatyou're, you're asking who's the
greatest or what, you know, hejust patient that I find myself
as, I, I walk my dog three, fourtimes a day so I can pray that
I'll just be, that's my prayerdog time and, and, um, but I
(34:58):
find myself more visually, Ithink.
kimber (35:01):
Yeah.
Sue (35:02):
Experiencing or seeing, Christ as I'm praying through
them.
kimber (35:06):
Yeah, I feel like it's, it comes back to what we were
talking about because it's likeJesus was so secure in his
identity in God that like heknew who he was, he knew what he
was doing and like, when we'rein Christ, we can operate out of
that same security in ouridentity, and I feel like it
produces those kind of thingsthat you're highlighting about.
(35:29):
You know how that actor portraysJesus?
It's like, you know, he's notreaction, like he's not blown
over by everyone's reaction tohim because he already knows who
he is and so then he canrespond.
out of a place of that secureidentity.
And man, that's just so like,exciting to me to think about.
(35:50):
Like we have access to that kindof secure identity too.
And it's like a long road Ithink of like learning to walk
in that.
But just that I know that'spossible because of Jesus.
Like that gives me renewedstrength I feel like, to go
towards it.
So how do you feel like.
(36:10):
with, you know, this, this ideaof like an identity that's
rooted in Christ being like sucha foundational idea for you and
for your ministry and what youencourage for other women.
How do you feel like you'vegrown in that to where you are
today from that, you know, thatfirst kind of, you know,
revelation moment when you werelike, I'm done with that fear
(36:32):
and I'm, that's not who I am,you know.
How have you grown, would yousay, to today?
Because that's, that's a longroad, right?
And I'm sure it hasn't all been,you know, sunshine and roses,
but where have
Sue (36:44):
Yeah, I think it's important.
Just say I haven't arrived.
There's not an arrival date, Idon't think.
I mean, I don't ever wanna bethat way.
I wanna be 90 years old and,telling my friend or my
daughter, oh look, God taught methis today.
You know, or, or he's reallyhelping me to grow in this area.
(37:07):
You know?
So I don't think we're ever tooold to.
Learn to grow, to repent.
kimber (37:14):
Yes.
Sue (37:15):
So, I think having a really open heart every day.
I think David King David puts itwell in Psalm 1 39, the last
verse, you know, search me ohLord, and know my heart and see
if there's any offensive way inme, you know, and, and teach me.
Teach me in the way everlasting.
(37:36):
So I think it's when we.
Turn to God each day and we say,Hey God, help me know what's up
with my heart.
Like what's up?
And I think red flags are reallyhelpful when you find yourself
overreacting.
When you find yourself, youremotions not really matching the
situation
kimber (37:57):
Right.
Sue (37:58):
feeling out of control.
Maybe you sort of feel like doesmatch the situation, but you.
control your emotions.
And I don't mean, you know,grief is grief.
Cry for Pete.
Say, cry.
That's not what I'm seeing.
When what I mean is, you know,I'm angry, but I'm, I'm just
feel like I wanna kill my kidsor my husband, or I just wanna
(38:20):
smack them, or I'm screaming atthem, or I'm saying things I
know I shouldn't say that kindof thing is what I mean.
Uh, or even that, yeah, I'mreally depressed right now, but
when I look at why the level ofmy depression doesn't really
match the situation, um, or I'mjust not getting better, right?
(38:44):
Maybe you do have a really hardthing and you're just not
getting better.
I think one you.
Consider, how is your health?
You know, should I see a doctor?
Um, should I talk to acounselor?
I think those are reallyhelpful.
Do I need some meds?
You know, I, I'm a counselor.
(39:05):
I came back up my counselingdegree at different summers.
Got and got, eventually gotthat.
And there's times I'm talking topeople, it's like, I, I can't
have this conversation till theyget on some meds to stabilize,
you know?
Cuz they can't really take itin, you know?
So I, I, think that's helpful.
Talk to a doctor, but also, Ithink we really need to, when we
(39:30):
experience those reactions, weneed to think, ask ourselves,
what am I.
Feeling right now.
What am I believing right now?
And then ask yourself, is this,and you might journal about it
or talk it through with a friendand let them write things down
as you're
kimber (39:49):
Hmm.
Sue (39:50):
and, and then ask yourself, have I felt this before?
Did, did I feel this even when Iwas a kid?
Because I find that 98% of.
Feelings that are really painfuland difficult, and the thoughts
that come with it
kimber (40:08):
Yeah.
Sue (40:08):
began all the way back in our childhood.
So when I can identify that,like, well, actually I felt like
I didn't fit in.
Even back when I was a littlekid and think about when did
that start and what was goingon, you know, maybe that you
were in a class where theteacher said, you know, you
(40:29):
shouldn't be here.
This is too high a level foryou.
Or you, you, you sit down.
You shouldn't be in this readinggroup.
You know, or whatever it was,right, that you felt like you
didn't fit in or maybe it's justsomething someone said to you,
you know, like, oh, you're fat.
You know, you can hear that whenyou're eight years old,
kimber (40:49):
Yeah.
Sue (40:50):
and.
then it identifies you.
This is my identity, now thatI'm fat or I don't fit in, or
I'm not good enough, or I'mstupid, or I'm ugly, whatever it
is.
And sometimes someone didn't sayit.
You came to the conclusion,right?
Because they didn't, you weren'tsitting at the cool kids' table,
whatever it was, right?
(41:11):
So, I'm not good enough, or I'mtoo ugly,
kimber (41:14):
Hmm.
Sue (41:14):
and we carry that into our adult life
kimber (41:18):
Yep.
Sue (41:18):
unknowingly, oftentimes, and it becomes a real stumbling
block.
It affects our behavior.
So that's the next thing youhave to ask, is this, what's
affecting my behavior?
Or what?
What am I doing That Because weoften begin that, even as a kid,
we come up with ways to avoid orwe think to avoid getting hurt
(41:41):
again.
kimber (41:41):
Right.
Sue (41:42):
there.
Then you're identifying yourbondage, and then freedom comes
when we then reject the lie.
Even we feel it still.
That's okay.
okay.
The feelings will go away, butit starts with stating truth.
Okay?
I still feel ugly, but God, yousay I'm fearfully, wonderfully
(42:03):
made, and I reflect the image ofChrist.
Beautiful.
Right.
I feel like I don't fit in, butactually you've chosen me.
I'm you know, embraced by theTrinity to be a part of this.
I've seated with Christ, youknow, I do fit in, I fit in the
best club even though I wasrejected from, you know, that
(42:24):
cool kids' table.
Now I sit, at the table of theLord, the banqueting table.
There's a verse in, uh, song ofSongs too about that.
And so you begin to speak thattruth, okay?
And then you repent.
This is important of thebehaviors they've come with
that.
And it might, not be that you'venoticeably done anything wrong,
(42:44):
but you've taken control.
Of your life.
You're not depending on God,you're depending on yourself to
protect yourself.
And that's sin, that's selfidolatry.
So I repent of whatever thosebehaviors.
It might be unforgiveness, itmight be, Rage, it might be
overeating, you know, running tofood.
(43:07):
I know a lot of us go down thatpath.
kimber (43:09):
Yep,
Sue (43:10):
me included, you know,
kimber (43:11):
yep.
Sue (43:11):
what am I doing to try to comfort or to control?
The situation that's, that'sself dependence, not God
kimber (43:21):
instead of allowing God to
Sue (43:22):
that.
and I asked the Holy Spirit tobegin to empower and direct me
so that I can live in adifferent way, and that's when
I'll find freedom, when claimingthe truth, I'm having a
repentant heart and I'm seekingthrough the power of the spirit
to live in a Christlike.
kimber (43:41):
Wow, that's incredible.
I love how you walked throughthat process and it's not like a
one step thing, you know, and Ilove that you say that the
importance of rejecting the lieand declaring the truth, but
that we may still feel.
Like the effects of the lie, butthat's not a reason not to
(44:02):
declare what's true anyway.
And then I love also Yeah, and Ilove that.
That's not the, that's not thelast step, right?
Like, you know, we go beyondthat and we repent and we ask.
The Lord to meet us in thatspace and renew our minds, renew
our hearts there.
Because it's like, I thinkoften, for me at least, is an
(44:22):
intellectual thing.
Like I think, okay, that's nottrue.
Here's what's true, therefore Ishould experience it.
But that's, you know, and, andthat can be true sometimes, I
think, but I think a lot oftimes it's a little bit longer
process of, you know, actuallywalking through the steps of
bringing that to the Lord andasking the Holy Spirit to
empower me to live a differentway.
(44:43):
And sometimes that takes alittle bit of time
Sue (44:45):
Yeah, and hear it from the Lord.
Hear it from the Lord Kimber.
Because there is a lot, or it'slike a cool thing now is to say
all these acclamations, I thinkis the word.
You know where I, I'm saying.
I'm beautiful, I'm strong, I'mawesome,
kimber (45:03):
Right,
Sue (45:04):
and I'm not opposed to that.
I think that can be helpful.
But when I say I'm beautifulbecause I'm creating the image
of God and he's beautiful, I'mstrong because in Christ I can
do all things.
You know, when you, when youcombine it with what God says
about.
kimber (45:22):
Yeah.
Sue (45:23):
You know, I'm loved because, not because I'm
amazing, but because God isamazing and he declares me as
lovable.
He has made me lovable.
You know?
Um,
kimber (45:34):
That's the power
Sue (45:34):
back in, yeah.
The word is powerful and I'm sadhow many people.
Do not read the word anymore.
So if you're that personlistening, I'm not judging, I'm
just encouraging you.
Go get a passion Bible.
It's all I, it's in the NewTestament, Psalms and proverbs
is, is one chunk.
(45:55):
And then you can buy the otherbook separately as they're still
working on translation.
But just get the New Testamentproverb, som one, and it'll
speak to you.
It'll be.
It'll be sweet.
It'll be like your best friendtalking to you going, Hey, this
is true, you know, and God willuse it in life.
kimber (46:14):
I love that man.
Sue, what a beautiful story.
And like, I love being able tosee just like how you've, over
the years, like through your ownstory and then working with so
many other women, how you'vejust learned a way to tackle it
and you've learned how to walkwith the Lord in it.
Sue (46:32):
Okay, because you will have struggled throughout your life
because God, in hisgraciousness, he's making us
like Christ well, how do youbecome like Christ?
Right?
You think about that roughdiamond, what does it have to do
is evolve all that yuck on theoutside.
So he's still shaving the yuckoff me, Kimber, and when he does
(46:55):
that, You know, it's, hard.
Like one of my kids was goingthrough a really hard thing a
couple years ago.
Um, COVID kind of sparked someof it, and man, that was one was
actually the most painful timeof my life.
And it brought up in me a lotof, of fear and a lot of other
(47:15):
emotions, And you feel reallyout of control and you wanna
help, but
kimber (47:21):
Yes.
Sue (47:21):
And you know, so it was rough, but we got through it.
But I think what you're sayingisn't really that you won't,
that I haven't struggled butthat, or don't anymore, but that
now I understand where I have togo with that struggle.
I have to go to
kimber (47:38):
Of course we're still gonna struggle, but it's like we
have, you know, that you'velearned like how to.
Face it when you do.
Right.
Because it's like, it's like,man, sometimes I think when like
the loneliness or you know,whatever it is that comes at us,
I think it's easy to drown in itwhen you don't know how to
respond to it and, or theenemy's attack, you know, it's
(48:00):
like, it can feel sooverwhelming in whatever way
that comes.
But yeah, when you know how toprocess it and you have people
around you that can help youthrough that and remind you of
what's true, like, man, that isI think, one of the coolest ways
that God works through communityin our sanctification.
You know, it's not just
Sue (48:17):
Yeah.
I love that you're, you're allabout
kimber (48:20):
Yeah.
It's not just us, like out here,alone and unafraid
Sue (48:23):
Yes, I agree.
kimber (48:24):
you know, let the Holy Spirit work in our hearts to be
more like Jesus.
You know, he gives us peoplearound us to help us with that,
and I'm just so thankful forthat.
Sue (48:33):
Yeah, Yeah, and I think your ministry's very good at
encouraging people to really bethere for each other.
I think that's super important,especially us winning.
But it's true for guys too.
They just haven't figured thatout.
kimber (48:47):
They'll, they'll come around someday, maybe but yeah.
Well, I'm, I'm so thankful too.
Thank you for your kind words,and I'm so thankful that women
like me have women like you whohave run the race faithfully and
are doing what you feel like Godhas called you to do because,
man, we need, we need peoplerunning ahead.
I'm really thankful for you.
(49:09):
So thanks So much, friend.
Where can, where can my friendslistening find you and
Sue (49:13):
Yeah, so you can go on his heartbeat podcast.
With Sue Coral, c o r l, andalso our website, crown and
beauty international.com.
We have weekly devotionals andlots on there for you.
Uh, there's even underresources, you'll see a whole
list of lies and a whole list oftruths that can be really
(49:36):
helpful.
So just go on crown viewinternational.com and go to
resources.
Please sign up cuz you know,every month I'm putting out a
letter.
I'm getting really.
Now to that to encourage you inthat.
Um, and I really recommend, Ihave several books out, uh,
devotionals, but I have a Biblestudy called Crown of Beauty.
(49:57):
That's why we call our namethat, and it's very powerful.
It's a 12 week study go help youto begin to.
Identify lies and walk in truth.
It'll go through all thoseidentity pieces about yourself,
about God, about the work of thespirit, and even some teaching
(50:20):
on the enemy and how he worksand how to have victory.
So I really recommend Crown ofBeauty Week Bible study.
It's on Amazon.
All my books are on Amazon.
kimber (50:30):
man.
Awesome.
Very cool.
We'll check that out.
Thank you so much, Sue.
I so appreciate your time todayand it was great to talk to you
friend.
Sue (50:38):
Thank you.
kimber (50:43):
Friends.
I'm so glad you could join Sueand I this week on the, your
sister Kimber podcast.
So much comes back to identityin our lives.
And when it's rooted in anythingother than Jesus, we're building
on sand, not rock, but.
I'm so thankful for those in mylife who remind me of who I am
in Christ.
And as we wrap up thisloneliness series, I hope you
(51:06):
know that between the people Godhas put in your life and just
start good God, who is alwayswith us.
We may experience loneliness,but we never truly have to live
lonely.
And friends, one thing that canbe such a game changer in
learning your identity in Christand walking in it is a community
of women cheering you on andreminding you of what's true.
(51:29):
I would be so honored to share asmall corner of that part of
your life with you.
And some of you, I get to dothat in person through the local
church, but for the rest of us,we get to share this work of
iron sharpening iron online,through Instagram and my
newsletter crew.
If you don't currently receivemy weekly newsletter, you can
visit your sister kimber.com tosubscribe.
(51:50):
When you do, you'll get myweekly newsletter directly to
your email inbox each week witha preview of what will be
featured on the podcast.
Plus a preview and link to thismonth's blog post, and some
other resources and tips to helpyou grow friendships that honor
God.
And draw closer to Jesus.
I hope it blesses you friends.
And thank you so much for beingpart of this community until
(52:12):
next time.
It's your sister Kimber.
hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimber Gilbert, andI'm so glad you're here.
Today we're wrapping up ourseries on loneliness, which has
been all about how lonelinesscomes for us all, but we can
learn to handle it in ways thathonor God and draw us closer to
Jesus.
The truth is that loneliness isa universal experience.
(00:31):
But when we have our identityfirmly rooted in Christ work and
affection for us, his daughters,we will be more equipped to walk
through these seasons with theLord near to help us reject the
enemies lies.
Today, we're talking about thiswith my friend, Sue coral of
crown of beauty international.
She's an author, speaker,missionary, and host of the, his
(00:52):
heartbeat podcast.
But foundationally, she is adaughter loved by God.
And her heart beats for womenall over the world to grow in
their relationship with Jesus bydiscovering their identity in
Christ.
I hope our talk today encouragesyou to grow authentic community
rooted in the Lord.
Right where you're at to help uswalk through any storm we may
(01:13):
face.
I wish that we could grab coffeewith Sue and hear her story, but
this is the next best thing.
I'm so glad you're here, friend.
Let's get started.
Hey Sue.
Good morning.
How are you doing?
Sue (01:29):
hey.
I'm doing great.
It's not morning here, but it'sa
kimber (01:33):
I know, yes, you're on the East Coast, right?
Sue (01:36):
yes, in Philadelphia.
kimber (01:37):
Okay.
Awesome.
Ha.
Have you always, well, I knowyou haven't always lived there,
but is that like where you'refrom or is that
Sue (01:43):
Yeah, I grew up here and when I graduated from college, I
moved to Hawaii.
kimber (01:49):
Okay,
Sue (01:49):
10 years before I moved to Asia, and then I returned to
Philly in 2016.
So I had this massive gap and Icome back, I'm like, ah, culture
shock.
I'm more culture shock here thanwhen I went to China.
I think
kimber (02:03):
Yeah, tell us a little bit about that.
Like what drew you to China?
How did you end up there?
What was that story?
Sue (02:10):
Well, first off was my family history.
On my, my mom's side.
She had uncles that were inChina as missionaries years upon
years ago.
So this is like in the.
1900 to 1950, like in that area.
So I always heard stories aboutthem.
We had artifacts that they'dbring back, that kind of thing.
(02:32):
So that intrigued me.
And then when I went to college,some girls were discipling me
from Penn State and one of thegals went there and went right
to me, you know, all year.
kimber (02:45):
Yeah.
Sue (02:46):
interesting.
And then in Hawaii, uh, I was inyouth ministry, but I.
helping with the E S L programand getting my master's in that,
and it was a lot of Chinesestudents and I loved them.
They were so fun, and I'm like,wow, this would be really cool.
So I went on two or three,three, I think uh, summer
(03:07):
teaching programs or languageprograms, and got a feel for
what it was like to live there.
So,
kimber (03:14):
Hmm.
Sue (03:14):
Way back when in 1991.
Uh, I,
kimber (03:18):
Can I say that's when I was born?
Sue (03:20):
Yeah, you can say
kimber (03:21):
is that a bad thing to say?
I love it.
Sue (03:24):
know, you're, you're only as young as you feel and I feel
very young.
kimber (03:28):
It's awesome.
I love it.
Ah, well that's so cool to hear.
I think we'll hear a little bitmore about it as we get into our
conversation today.
I'm so happy to have you heretoday.
Thanks for joining us.
I'm really excited for ourconversation as we we're
wrapping up our lonelinessseries today.
And I think what, we're gonnatalk about with identity is
going to be just a reallyimportant way to end it.
(03:49):
So I'm really thankful thatyou're here with us.
Will you introduce yourself alittle bit?
For our friends
Sue (03:55):
Sure.
Yeah, so like you said, I'm SueSue Coral.
I am married with two adultyoung adult kids.
Um, probably a little youngerthan you, but, uh, just getting
started in the world.
They're doing well though.
It's great.
Uh, I lived overseas forever, ina day, like 35 years, I think,
something like that.
(04:16):
Uh, way longer than I livedhere, so I'm still.
Reentry,
kimber (04:21):
Yeah.
Sue (04:21):
say shock, but I have been a missionary for years and I am
currently taking a ministry thatI began in Asia and it did
really well.
And when I moved back here in2016, it's taken off and we are
now becoming a formal nonprofit.
So I'm working with the boardand a lot of forms to fill out
(04:44):
and money to spend
kimber (04:45):
yeah.
Is that crown of beauty
Sue (04:47):
Yes, crown Beauty International, Uhhuh, And you
know, under that we have like ablog on our website, crown
beauty international.com and we,I have a podcast myself, which
Kimber for all use listening wason or will be on next week.
kimber (05:04):
Yeah.
I think by the time this talkcomes out, it will have been in
the past, so yeah.
It was so
Sue (05:09):
Yeah, that's all I figured.
So, so listen, go to it y'all.
kimber (05:12):
Cool.
Oh man.
So awesome.
you said it started in Asia, theCrown of Beauty international
program or Ministry.
Um, what did like starting thatlook like?
Like how did you get into that?
Where was the like, need forthat?
How did that come to
Sue (05:27):
Yeah.
Well my job at that time waslike a counselor for, people who
were living overseas and werejust struggling in that, you
know, they were having aministry or maybe they're
struggling, their marriage,whatever it was.
But they're, here they are inAsia and.
Not the normal resources thatyou have.
(05:49):
So either they come to me andstay with us for several days,
or I would travel.
I also traveled a lot.
So in doing that, I discoveredthat even women who were really
strong in their faith werestruggling so much.
And I would come back and myboss is like, how are they doing
(06:09):
their job?
And all this stuff.
And I'd go, well, I don't reallyknow.
The production of their job.
But I can tell you they're goingto be doing better now because
I've been able to help them.
And what I found Kimber, is thatwhat they really were struggling
with is they were believing alot of lies about themselves.
That when we're in that level ofstress, and I know you talk a
(06:33):
lot about loneliness on thisshow, there's a lot of that
going on when you live over.
And it springs out a lot ofstuff in your heart that you
didn't even realize that youbelieve about yourself.
And I personally went throughthat journey.
Uh, when I first went over thereand I was a single, but I wasn't
(06:55):
a young single.
I was 31 and 32 and 33 and stillsingle.
And that really triggered me,you
kimber (07:03):
Yeah.
Sue (07:04):
I'm a 10 for 10 extrovert so to
kimber (07:09):
I love that.
Sue (07:10):
like have millions of friends and always wanna be with
people at that point, I neededabout one hour alone a month,
and so to be put in thisenvironment, Back when not many
people were going to China, andI didn't speak the language that
well, I was studying along withteaching, but it, it's a long
(07:32):
process.
So I had Chinese friends, but itwas very surfacey, you know, and
there were very few foreignersthere at the time.
very few Christian foreigners ontop of that.
And, and then you had to becautious because people, even
the foreigners might.
Make up lies about you.
If they don't like you, all theyhave to do is go to the
(07:53):
authorities and say, oh, she'stelling people they're going to
hell or something like that, andthey're gonna stick you on an
airplane to go home at theworst, you know, at the best, I
should say the worst could beinterrogate for a while.
I really didn't wanna go throughthat, so, It was hard and I went
over there with my best friendfrom Hawaii, which was awesome.
(08:16):
So the first year was fun andyou know, we found people to be
friends with, but I had her, itwas okay.
And then this guy, uh, that cameover with us, we went over with
a kek company and this guy,there were two guys came, single
guys, which initially I wasreally excited cuz I thought I
must be going over.
(08:37):
To China to meet my husbandbecause I was really wanting to
be married even when I was inHawaii.
but I knew us to go to China atsome point, and the guys would
date me for a while and thenwhen they found out I was
planning in China, that was it.
kimber (08:51):
I mean, it's sort of a little bit of a deal breaker if
you're across the world,especially then when you didn't
have like, you know, texting andFaceTime and stuff.
Sue (09:01):
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I, we didn't have email.
That's how long we're
kimber (09:05):
Yeah, man, it's it's crazy.
Yeah.
Sue (09:09):
hate writing letters, but my mom wrote to me every day,
but I only wrote through thatonce a month, and you couldn't
call for five minutes.
It was$90,
kimber (09:19):
I bet.
Sue (09:20):
and back then$90 was like $200 today, you know?
So, Yeah.
you didn't do it.
Plus your, all your phone callswere listened to.
All your mail was read byauthorities, seemed to be really
careful.
I mean, even though you're notnecessarily doing anything
illegal, it just flaggedsomething.
If mom says, I'm praying foryou, and are you going to talk
(09:43):
to people about the Lord?
Like that
kimber (09:45):
Right.
So you always have to be alittle guarded in your
communication.
Sue (09:49):
And even your communication with other foreigners, you had
to be careful in in public, andour rooms could potentially have
been bugged at that point.
In fact, they were at differentpoints we discovered.
So yeah, so what happened is mybest friend started dating one
of those guys who was 10 yearsyounger than me.
(10:11):
So I had zero interest, but onlyfour years younger than her,
and.
I sort of lost my best friendfor a season.
You know how they're all likeCutesie, cutesie and always
kimber (10:23):
You wrapped up
Sue (10:24):
and dancing in the room and there was nowhere to go.
Socialize.
you know, at that point, Chinahas come a long way.
I gotta say it was really aprivilege to live in a country
that grew economically at a ratethat no other country in history
has grown.
And to go when I get there frombeing in so much poverty too, by
(10:47):
the time I left in thisstunningly beautiful city that
was so modern.
it was, it was
kimber (10:55):
It's wild to see that kind of a transformation.
Sue (10:58):
But anyway, I'm there starting out in the more
impoverished time and they'reimproving quickly, but, you
know, just the same.
And so, they would have theirgates in my, in our room, you
know,
kimber (11:11):
Right.
That's where you have to go.
Yeah.
Sue (11:14):
Yeah, and there were little hole in the wall restaurants,
but were packed out, you know?
So anyway, so I really becamevery lonely, And, it ended up
triggering a lot and it startedbringing up a lot of lies about
myself and about God,interestingly, that I never
(11:36):
really struggled with before.
Uh, I, I won't say the liesabout self.
I never struggle with.
I think it brought up one that Iwrestled with for years, which.
I'm not beautiful enough to finda husband because I was born
with a very severe cleft palate,26 surgeries for 15 years of my
life.
(11:56):
really a lot of rejection in
kimber (11:59):
Hmm.
Sue (11:59):
and obviously I'd come a long way and I dated a lot of
guys, but because they neverended up in getting married, you
know, you start wondering,
kimber (12:10):
what you hear.
Yeah.
In your head.
Yeah.
Sue (12:13):
Normally I have, I had a really great self-esteem, but I
did have a level of protectionof my heart with men because of
a lot of the hurt I'd had thatdidn't help, but I just started
to think, well, God, why did youbring me all the way here?
And now I'm gonna be single therest of my life because there's
(12:34):
no men to date.
You know what I mean?
Literally there was, was not,and, I did okay at first, but
when I lost my best friend andyou see her so happy and it got
engaged really quickly and.
I got very depressed.
Very depressed, and there wasn'ta counselor around.
There wasn't anybody to talk to.
(12:54):
You know what I talked to youabout?
What I did with counseling waslater, years later, okay?
At that point, you're just thereon your own.
You know, like a company hiresyou, the school hires you, and
there you are.
kimber (13:07):
Yeah,
Sue (13:08):
and you, you can't text people, you can't call people,
you don't have access toChristian books.
You
kimber (13:15):
Yeah.
Right,
Sue (13:17):
So it, it got pretty rough.
I will say.
kimber (13:19):
Yeah.
What do you feel like pulled youkind of out of that or like
moved you beyond that?
Was it just like a, a kind ofmoving through that time and
getting through it?
or what kind of helped you get
Sue (13:32):
No, it, it was.
Very dramatic actually, becauseI really didn't know why I was
struggling like that.
And I was trying at first to goto my Bible and, and when I have
doubts, does God exist?
Does he care?
Does you know, I would go to theword.
And that definitely helped, Iwill say, especially to fight
(13:52):
those lies about God.
But it didn't take away.
The loneliness and I startedhaving a lot of fear and it got
worse and worse every nightwhere I couldn't sleep, I lost
my appetite, and I really wasgoing downhill when the Lord
graciously.
(14:13):
Opened my eyes to recognize andto feel really that there was a
spiritual presence in my room ofdarkness of fear, spirits of
fear.
Now I was surrounded in thisdormitory by foreigners from all
over the world.
There was a, Buddhist guy whowas always chanting.
(14:33):
I had a Muslim guy doing his5:00 AM you know, chance in the
hall I
kimber (14:40):
Mm-hmm.
Sue (14:41):
Other people that you were coming in all hours a night
drunk and sleeping with people,and it wasn't the most
encouraging environment, And myroommate was being very sweet,
trying, but just the same.
She's in love with this guy.
You know?
That's where
kimber (14:57):
in a different spot, kind of probably mentally,
Sue (15:01):
she was definitely being sweet and trying.
But anyway, so one night I amjust freaking out.
I start realizing that, oh mygosh, there's something dark
here.
You know, really it was ademonic presence and I hadn't
really had much training onthat.
They don't teach that at church
kimber (15:21):
Sure.
Yeah.
A lot of times you don't talkabout it.
Yeah.
Sue (15:24):
No, they don't talk even though Jesus does all the time.
You know, there's tons inscripture about.
But at the most we hear is puton your spiritual armor,
whatever that means.
I mean, no, I know what itmeans.
kimber (15:39):
but no, I know what you mean.
Like it can seem, like a, a justa bandaid or like a catchall
phrase.
Like, oh yeah, do that.
But like, okay, what does thatlook like
Sue (15:48):
Yeah, how do you apply that?
What is, yeah.
And so I got terrified and I ranout of the room into the
adjoining room to my roommate.
It's like 2:00 AM I fell on topof her, just shaking, crying,
and she's, she goes, what?
What's the matter?
And I couldn't speak Kimber,nothing would come outta my
(16:09):
mouth.
I don't know if it was the fearor the enemy himself.
But she just started praying.
And I remember hearing her say,no one's ever told me to pray
like this
kimber (16:19):
hmm.
Yeah.
Sue (16:21):
then she just said, holy Spirit guide me.
I don't know how to pray.
And, and he did.
And he, and she told me to startpraying.
And of course I'm praying, butnothing's coming outta my mouth.
And.
Finally she says, just sayJesus.
Just say Jesus.
And I, I got Jesus out.
And years later I did this for awoman in Africa who was
literally dying.
(16:42):
They brought me to the hospitalcuz the doctor said she only,
she's gonna die very soon.
And if you know, like minutes,hours And she couldn't speak,
she couldn't move.
And the same thing where, whereI just started praying, um, and
telling her, just say, And Iprayed and, and slowly it came
out.
And that's what happened with meToo.
(17:04):
And once the word came out,Jesus, Jesus, it was like the
spirit just left that darkness.
I felt just leave and I feltfree, and then I could start to
pray.
And we just spent the next twohours just worshiping, praising,
and praying to God and, and,Asking for forgiveness, for my
(17:26):
doubts of him, uh, my doubts ofwhat's true about me, what's
true about him, what's trueabout my roommate, asking for
God's love for them as a coupleand, and just praising, mostly
just praising God.
And it was weird, kinder cuz thenext morning.
So I went to bed.
We got up in the morning andwe're in, we shared a bathroom,
(17:48):
right?
And so we're in the bathroom andstanding next to each other, and
I realized that, um, I wastaller than her, and I hadn't
felt taller than her in a while.
You know, it was so oppressive,
kimber (18:01):
it's like, yeah.
physically Wow,
Sue (18:05):
depression is very physically oppressive as well,
and he just lifted that.
And so I began to just say, I'mnot gonna go to those lies
again.
And so the enemy, you know rightaway is like, see, God doesn't
love you, ba da da.
And I'm like, I reject that liein Jesus name.
(18:26):
Thank you God that you love me.
And I really felt Kimber if Ineed to be single the rest of my
life.
I would get to have theexperience of God's love that
intimate and close, which I didthat night then it's worth it.
And I told him that, you know,not that I wanted that, but it's
(18:46):
like, Hey, I want that level oflove and intimacy with God above
all else.
And so I just began to reallyspeak truth and anytime a lie
came, reject it.
And that's what years later I.
Launched my ministry in, becauseI was seeing all these women
(19:06):
over there going through exactlythe same thing.
I mean maybe a little different,but
kimber (19:11):
But you see the pattern play out.
Yeah.
Sue (19:14):
we can.
Identify the lies and speak themout.
I reject the lie that I'm notgood enough, that I am ugly,
that I'm rejectable ununlovable, that I'm invisible,
you know, all those lies, orthat God has forgotten me or
doesn't care about me or is weakor whatever it is, right?
(19:34):
Is punishing me.
Pat, forgive me all those lies.
That in Jesus' name, we rejectthem and we speak out.
Then the truth of what God'sword says, women get free and I
got free and you know whathappened, Kimber?
You're not gonna believe this.
So three weeks later, my bosscalls me from, the teaching
(19:56):
company in Hong Kong and hesays, come visit me.
You need a break.
I heard you're doing really bad.
And I'm like, well, I'm a lotbetter.
But yeah, I'm exhausted.
But there was not a singleflight, which is freaky, but
it's cause they had these weirdEast Asian games.
So all the.
Planes were full.
So he said, then take a trainand just go somewhere.
(20:16):
So my roommate and I, jumped ona plane, not a plane, a train,
18 hour train, ride up north.
And visited another teachingteam that we had come over at
the same time, gone throughteacher training together.
And while we're there, I'mvisiting everybody and one of
the teachers who had just gottenthere, I had met five years
(20:39):
before, but I was either he wasdating or I was dating, I was in
California briefly.
Like eight months.
kimber (20:47):
Mm-hmm.
Sue (20:47):
um, and he was there anyway.
He had come and he said, well,when are you gonna spend time
with me?
And I was like, oh, okay.
Okay, okay.
I only have, The morning.
Cuz there was, oddly there was aguy who, when I called to set up
the housing, said, would youspend time with me?
Another guy turns out was,Todd's uh, neighbor.
(21:09):
And so I spent time with thatguy, but I really wasn't
attracted to him, you know, so,but I told Todd, I said, well,
I, I'll be back from, we aregonna go up to Beijing and do
the Great Wall and all thatthing.
I'll be back.
Tonight.
And so we got together and heasked me, yeah, how do you like
my neighbor?
And I was like, no, not gonnawork.
(21:32):
Even though I want, you know,you're not at that point where
you just marry anybody.
You know?
right?
Like, no.
And, uh, and he said, why?
And I told him some reasons andthen I said, And the other
reason is cuz I like you.
And I couldn't believe I saidthat, but it just kinda came
outta my mouth because fiveyears before, uh, when we couple
(21:56):
times gotten together, I reallydid like him, but either he was
dating or I was dating.
And so he laughed and he said,well, I've liked you for five
years.
And I was like, what?
Well, what are you gonna doabout it?
And he said, well, let me prayabout it while you're giving
your, Beijing thing and doingall these things and, and so
(22:16):
when we got together again afterthat, he said, it would be my
honor to date you, and we gotengaged.
Uh, well, he told me on the nextdate he loved me, that God had
home and loved me.
kimber (22:29):
Yeah.
Sue (22:30):
The next date after that, he let me know that we, we would
get married, but you know, wewere 18 hours apart.
So we, we were only getting tosee each other like every three
weeks at a conference.
Or he'd come to me, I'd go tohim,
kimber (22:42):
Wow.
Yeah.
Sue (22:44):
And uh, finally we came back to the States for the
summer and we got engaged andmarried three months later.
kimber (22:52):
Oh wow.
How cool that like you saw justthe.
Sweetness of the Lord like sosoon after, because the hat is
man, it's like sometimes I thinkthose things are more visible in
hindsight because it's not quiteas like, you know, boom, boom,
boom.
But like I think it's reallysweet of him when, when he just
(23:14):
shows us his kindness in thatkind of a way.
That's so cool.
how much later was it that youstarted counseling other women?
Like what did that
Sue (23:22):
Oh boy.
Okay.
So yeah, we got married and wewere in Seattle for a year and
then we went back to Asia.
but yeah, we were hopping aroundlike Hong Kong, Philippines, got
back to China, moved togethercity.
So it was after my kids, I hadgiven birth to two, two kitties
and they were.
(23:45):
Seven and five I think.
And it, I was doing this thingof mentoring women when I was
really seeing this need, but Ifelt frustrated because my
giftings teaching and as much asI love mentoring as well, that
would be like shepherding asecond gifting.
But I was really missingopportunities, critique, and I
(24:09):
asked the Lord, God, what?
When am I having get to teach?
You know?
And I've very profoundly heardfrom the Lord, write your life
message and I will bring
kimber (24:21):
Hmm
Sue (24:23):
And I didn't do it right away.
Oh.
And then he's scolding me thenext
kimber (24:28):
He's patient with
Sue (24:30):
me to be doing with my name?
And he made it very clear.
And so I started working onthose messages.
kimber (24:37):
Hmm.
Sue (24:37):
For several months I would, on Mondays I would get a
babysitter and I'd go do that.
And when I finished it was, itwas a few months later, I
finished these four messages,you know, with PowerPoints, all
that stuff.
And literally someone came up tome at church.
I had shared my testimony justfor briefly at church, and she
(25:00):
came up and she said, I'm newhere, but I'm an event
coordinator.
If
kimber (25:03):
Well,
Sue (25:04):
Speak.
I will coordinate a women'sconference for the international
community here.
I mean, it was crazy.
I'm like, well, he wasn'tkidding he.
kimber (25:14):
He was ready?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Sue (25:17):
So I did, and when I stepped down on the platform,
the Lord said, this is what Iwant you to do the second half
of your life.
And right after that, I, a galthat I knew who was local, she
turns out she knew people allover the country.
So that launched the wholething.
kimber (25:35):
Yeah.
Sue (25:36):
Then when I came back here, then all these doors opened up
internationally, and now we'restarting to work more on the US
side as.
kimber (25:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm, man.
That's incredible.
What a cool story.
Do you just love getting to,like Stewart, such a, an
incredible story.
Sue (25:53):
Yeah, it's if your heart is, I wanna serve you Lord, no
matter what.
That's a really hard prayer, andI've had to say it a few times
in my life, you know, in my.
Single gaze.
you know, it wasn't easy.
And I had a very seriousrelationship when I was 25.
I thought he was the one andgreat guy, great guy, had a
(26:17):
heart for China, he was livingthere.
and he broke it o off after ayear.
I think we were just too longdistance.
Like I said, there wasn't goodcommunication back then.
And again, that was, oh, it tookme like a year to get through
that.
But you, I just wanna encourageeverybody listening that God
does hear your cries.
(26:39):
He does listen, he does hearyour prayers.
You may not understand it, whyyou're having to wait,
kimber (26:46):
mm.
Sue (26:46):
God has a good purpose and I can tell you honestly, Kimber,
I'm so grateful, that I didn'tget married till 34 to Todd
number one because Todd'sawesome and he lets me be who I
am.
I'm a very strong leader andit's hard for guys when they're
women are like, going all overthe world.
(27:09):
Leading these big conferencesand that kind of thing.
So that's one beautiful thing.
But also because I went throughso much transformation in my
life, and sometimes God callsyou to do that with your
partner, and other times hecalls you to do that without a
partner and without kids, sothat you don't pass that on to
(27:31):
your kids.
And I feel like all the healingthat the Lord.
In my twenties, some withcounselors, some mentors, uh, in
the word through lifeexperience.
And then the dramatic experienceI had in China, it really
allowed me, I believe, to be amuch better mom and one that
(27:53):
wasn't dumping my messes with mykids So I'm very grateful for.
kimber (28:00):
Oh man, that, that is like such a good perspective
shift cuz I think it's so easyto see our per our perspective
as like what we lack, but likelooking for how did God bless me
through the circumstances I had,even if they weren't what I
wanted at the time.
So I love that you're able tosee them do that.
Sue (28:18):
Yeah.
And I, I encourage, like formoms with younger kids, that's
another really lonely timebecause you're just not.
Getting a lot of adult
kimber (28:28):
Yes.
Your time to like connect andthe how you do it is so, uh,
limited and constrained
Sue (28:36):
You're used to having your gal pals, you know, and Sundays
like, where are they?
kimber (28:43):
yes.
Sue (28:44):
But, I say two things with that.
One is, you know, seek out a.
Mom kid group, if you have tomake one, which is what we did
with my girlfriend and I arelike, ah, we need to like, Be
able to have time together.
So she opened her home and wejust started inviting other
(29:08):
women, and they are from allover the world and they
definitely were not allChristians.
So in some ways it gaveopportunity to also talk about
what God was doing in our life,but all the kids played together
and it just was nice week.
I really look forward to thattime each week.
That helps.
But the other thing is I foundthat I put so much expectation
(29:29):
on my husband.
Right, because when he comeshome, yay, get adult
conversation.
And he went through a seasonwhere his life was so hard.
He was the crisis manager ofcompany and uh, it was
exhausting.
So when he came home, he didn'twanna talk.
He's an introvert anyway, so hehad used up all his
kimber (29:47):
he was done Yeah.
Sue (29:50):
And so that was really hard.
And at first I felt angry,unloved.
You know, all those feelingsthat you
kimber (29:57):
Yeah.
Sue (29:58):
And one night, the Lord just woke me up.
I say night.
It was like four in the morning.
Three in the morning.
I knew as God, it was justcrazy.
It was like someone shook me andall, and I like to see, but
there was no one around me.
And, and he is, I was like, ohmy gosh.
Yeah, he wants me to get up.
So I did.
And, and immediately he.
(30:21):
Told me to read Isaiah.
And so I just started readingIsaiah and especially from
chapter 40 to 66, and I ended upspending three years in that
there's
kimber (30:33):
a good
Sue (30:33):
chapters and it was all about intimacy with God.
and, you know, and even song, asong after that
kimber (30:42):
Hmm mm-hmm.
Sue (30:43):
that and again, Realize that God wants to be the lover
of my soul and I can't look tomy husband to have that level
of.
I, I can have that level ofexpectation on him all the time.
Like, yes, you'll have momentsthat are really sweet, but with
(31:04):
God, you can have those momentsall the time.
Now there are wilderness times,but you can know even in the
wilderness, that hepassionately, intimately loves
you, that that hasn't changed,you know?
kimber (31:19):
Hmm.
Hey friend, forgive me fortaking a quick moment in this
conversation to ask a favor ofyou.
I hope my conversation with Sueis blessing you today.
And if so, would you take amoment to rate and review the
show on apple podcasts?
Reviews are huge in helping newfriends find the show.
(31:40):
And I love reading.
What's blessing you from thepodcast.
You can find the link to leave areview in the description of
this episode.
So thanks so much for taking asecond to do that.
Okay.
Now back to the show.
Sue (31:56):
So that was another lesson that I learned, and I just
encouraged.
All of you to.
Have high expectations of Godand say, Lord, I need you.
I, i need you.
Please, meet me in intimateways.
And those chapters, Isaiah 40 to66, song of Songs are full of
(32:17):
God's intimate love for you.
And, um, that's how he wants torelate to my latest thing is to
buy the Passion Bible.
Have you heard
kimber (32:26):
Yes, I do.
I have a sweet friend who turnedme onto it a few years ago, and
I love how it, I feel like itdoes really, uh, highlight
especially that side of thescripture of like, you know,
God's presence and his justdelight in
Sue (32:46):
Mm-hmm.
kimber (32:47):
which I think sometimes we get so, you know, sterilized
by at least I think of like ourAmerican culture that's very
like independent, you know?
And we like, like to take careof ourselves and we don't need
anyone.
And if you like someone toomuch, like you should probably
chill because uh, what if theydon't like you that much back?
Like, you know, it's all very,um, protective, I think of
(33:10):
ourself and.
that's not what God has for us.
I don't think, like you'resaying, like he wants us to
fully depend on him.
Like he, he loves it when we arefully in need of him.
And so, yeah.
I love the, the passiontranslation.
I think it's beautiful.
What stood out to you most aboutit?
(33:30):
What do you love about it?
Sue (33:32):
Well, I, I just found it, you know, recently and I went a
Christmas spot for everybody.
I know.
I really love it.
and I do like to dig into theword and I go back and look at
original language, you know, tobe sure things are accurate and
all.
And, and it, I think for themost part it really is.
(33:53):
It just, sometimes it's puttingit in our, our vernacular, our
everyday language today.
but it is, it does lean towardshelping.
To see how intimately God, Godis connected to us.
The other thing, my husband andI started watching the chosen
every night before we go to bed.
(34:15):
I'm hooked.
But what I love about it is theway the actor portrays Jesus is.
So, I think it's so on themoney, just incredibly
unconditional love pouring outto everyone around him.
Sinner or not, you know, woundedor not just.
(34:35):
And not at all reactionary.
Like, what?
You don't trust me or whatyou're, you're asking who's the
greatest or what, you know, hejust patient that I find myself
as, I, I walk my dog three, fourtimes a day so I can pray that
I'll just be, that's my prayerdog time and, and, um, but I
(34:58):
find myself more visually, Ithink.
kimber (35:01):
Yeah.
Sue (35:02):
Experiencing or seeing, Christ as I'm praying through
them.
kimber (35:06):
Yeah, I feel like it's, it comes back to what we were
talking about because it's likeJesus was so secure in his
identity in God that like heknew who he was, he knew what he
was doing and like, when we'rein Christ, we can operate out of
that same security in ouridentity, and I feel like it
produces those kind of thingsthat you're highlighting about.
(35:29):
You know how that actor portraysJesus?
It's like, you know, he's notreaction, like he's not blown
over by everyone's reaction tohim because he already knows who
he is and so then he canrespond.
out of a place of that secureidentity.
And man, that's just so like,exciting to me to think about.
(35:50):
Like we have access to that kindof secure identity too.
And it's like a long road Ithink of like learning to walk
in that.
But just that I know that'spossible because of Jesus.
Like that gives me renewedstrength I feel like, to go
towards it.
So how do you feel like.
(36:10):
with, you know, this, this ideaof like an identity that's
rooted in Christ being like sucha foundational idea for you and
for your ministry and what youencourage for other women.
How do you feel like you'vegrown in that to where you are
today from that, you know, thatfirst kind of, you know,
revelation moment when you werelike, I'm done with that fear
(36:32):
and I'm, that's not who I am,you know.
How have you grown, would yousay, to today?
Because that's, that's a longroad, right?
And I'm sure it hasn't all been,you know, sunshine and roses,
but where have
Sue (36:44):
Yeah, I think it's important.
Just say I haven't arrived.
There's not an arrival date, Idon't think.
I mean, I don't ever wanna bethat way.
I wanna be 90 years old and,telling my friend or my
daughter, oh look, God taught methis today.
You know, or, or he's reallyhelping me to grow in this area.
(37:07):
You know?
So I don't think we're ever tooold to.
Learn to grow, to repent.
kimber (37:14):
Yes.
Sue (37:15):
So, I think having a really open heart every day.
I think David King David puts itwell in Psalm 1 39, the last
verse, you know, search me ohLord, and know my heart and see
if there's any offensive way inme, you know, and, and teach me.
Teach me in the way everlasting.
(37:36):
So I think it's when we.
Turn to God each day and we say,Hey God, help me know what's up
with my heart.
Like what's up?
And I think red flags are reallyhelpful when you find yourself
overreacting.
When you find yourself, youremotions not really matching the
situation
kimber (37:57):
Right.
Sue (37:58):
feeling out of control.
Maybe you sort of feel like doesmatch the situation, but you.
control your emotions.
And I don't mean, you know,grief is grief.
Cry for Pete.
Say, cry.
That's not what I'm seeing.
When what I mean is, you know,I'm angry, but I'm, I'm just
feel like I wanna kill my kidsor my husband, or I just wanna
(38:20):
smack them, or I'm screaming atthem, or I'm saying things I
know I shouldn't say that kindof thing is what I mean.
Uh, or even that, yeah, I'mreally depressed right now, but
when I look at why the level ofmy depression doesn't really
match the situation, um, or I'mjust not getting better, right?
(38:44):
Maybe you do have a really hardthing and you're just not
getting better.
I think one you.
Consider, how is your health?
You know, should I see a doctor?
Um, should I talk to acounselor?
I think those are reallyhelpful.
Do I need some meds?
You know, I, I'm a counselor.
(39:05):
I came back up my counselingdegree at different summers.
Got and got, eventually gotthat.
And there's times I'm talking topeople, it's like, I, I can't
have this conversation till theyget on some meds to stabilize,
you know?
Cuz they can't really take itin, you know?
So I, I, think that's helpful.
Talk to a doctor, but also, Ithink we really need to, when we
(39:30):
experience those reactions, weneed to think, ask ourselves,
what am I.
Feeling right now.
What am I believing right now?
And then ask yourself, is this,and you might journal about it
or talk it through with a friendand let them write things down
as you're
kimber (39:49):
Hmm.
Sue (39:50):
and, and then ask yourself, have I felt this before?
Did, did I feel this even when Iwas a kid?
Because I find that 98% of.
Feelings that are really painfuland difficult, and the thoughts
that come with it
kimber (40:08):
Yeah.
Sue (40:08):
began all the way back in our childhood.
So when I can identify that,like, well, actually I felt like
I didn't fit in.
Even back when I was a littlekid and think about when did
that start and what was goingon, you know, maybe that you
were in a class where theteacher said, you know, you
(40:29):
shouldn't be here.
This is too high a level foryou.
Or you, you, you sit down.
You shouldn't be in this readinggroup.
You know, or whatever it was,right, that you felt like you
didn't fit in or maybe it's justsomething someone said to you,
you know, like, oh, you're fat.
You know, you can hear that whenyou're eight years old,
kimber (40:49):
Yeah.
Sue (40:50):
and.
then it identifies you.
This is my identity, now thatI'm fat or I don't fit in, or
I'm not good enough, or I'mstupid, or I'm ugly, whatever it
is.
And sometimes someone didn't sayit.
You came to the conclusion,right?
Because they didn't, you weren'tsitting at the cool kids' table,
whatever it was, right?
(41:11):
So, I'm not good enough, or I'mtoo ugly,
kimber (41:14):
Hmm.
Sue (41:14):
and we carry that into our adult life
kimber (41:18):
Yep.
Sue (41:18):
unknowingly, oftentimes, and it becomes a real stumbling
block.
It affects our behavior.
So that's the next thing youhave to ask, is this, what's
affecting my behavior?
Or what?
What am I doing That Because weoften begin that, even as a kid,
we come up with ways to avoid orwe think to avoid getting hurt
(41:41):
again.
kimber (41:41):
Right.
Sue (41:42):
there.
Then you're identifying yourbondage, and then freedom comes
when we then reject the lie.
Even we feel it still.
That's okay.
okay.
The feelings will go away, butit starts with stating truth.
Okay?
I still feel ugly, but God, yousay I'm fearfully, wonderfully
(42:03):
made, and I reflect the image ofChrist.
Beautiful.
Right.
I feel like I don't fit in, butactually you've chosen me.
I'm you know, embraced by theTrinity to be a part of this.
I've seated with Christ, youknow, I do fit in, I fit in the
best club even though I wasrejected from, you know, that
(42:24):
cool kids' table.
Now I sit, at the table of theLord, the banqueting table.
There's a verse in, uh, song ofSongs too about that.
And so you begin to speak thattruth, okay?
And then you repent.
This is important of thebehaviors they've come with
that.
And it might, not be that you'venoticeably done anything wrong,
(42:44):
but you've taken control.
Of your life.
You're not depending on God,you're depending on yourself to
protect yourself.
And that's sin, that's selfidolatry.
So I repent of whatever thosebehaviors.
It might be unforgiveness, itmight be, Rage, it might be
overeating, you know, running tofood.
(43:07):
I know a lot of us go down thatpath.
kimber (43:09):
Yep,
Sue (43:10):
me included, you know,
kimber (43:11):
yep.
Sue (43:11):
what am I doing to try to comfort or to control?
The situation that's, that'sself dependence, not God
kimber (43:21):
instead of allowing God to
Sue (43:22):
that.
and I asked the Holy Spirit tobegin to empower and direct me
so that I can live in adifferent way, and that's when
I'll find freedom, when claimingthe truth, I'm having a
repentant heart and I'm seekingthrough the power of the spirit
to live in a Christlike.
kimber (43:41):
Wow, that's incredible.
I love how you walked throughthat process and it's not like a
one step thing, you know, and Ilove that you say that the
importance of rejecting the lieand declaring the truth, but
that we may still feel.
Like the effects of the lie, butthat's not a reason not to
(44:02):
declare what's true anyway.
And then I love also Yeah, and Ilove that.
That's not the, that's not thelast step, right?
Like, you know, we go beyondthat and we repent and we ask.
The Lord to meet us in thatspace and renew our minds, renew
our hearts there.
Because it's like, I thinkoften, for me at least, is an
(44:22):
intellectual thing.
Like I think, okay, that's nottrue.
Here's what's true, therefore Ishould experience it.
But that's, you know, and, andthat can be true sometimes, I
think, but I think a lot oftimes it's a little bit longer
process of, you know, actuallywalking through the steps of
bringing that to the Lord andasking the Holy Spirit to
empower me to live a differentway.
(44:43):
And sometimes that takes alittle bit of time
Sue (44:45):
Yeah, and hear it from the Lord.
Hear it from the Lord Kimber.
Because there is a lot, or it'slike a cool thing now is to say
all these acclamations, I thinkis the word.
You know where I, I'm saying.
I'm beautiful, I'm strong, I'mawesome,
kimber (45:03):
Right,
Sue (45:04):
and I'm not opposed to that.
I think that can be helpful.
But when I say I'm beautifulbecause I'm creating the image
of God and he's beautiful, I'mstrong because in Christ I can
do all things.
You know, when you, when youcombine it with what God says
about.
kimber (45:22):
Yeah.
Sue (45:23):
You know, I'm loved because, not because I'm
amazing, but because God isamazing and he declares me as
lovable.
He has made me lovable.
You know?
Um,
kimber (45:34):
That's the power
Sue (45:34):
back in, yeah.
The word is powerful and I'm sadhow many people.
Do not read the word anymore.
So if you're that personlistening, I'm not judging, I'm
just encouraging you.
Go get a passion Bible.
It's all I, it's in the NewTestament, Psalms and proverbs
is, is one chunk.
(45:55):
And then you can buy the otherbook separately as they're still
working on translation.
But just get the New Testamentproverb, som one, and it'll
speak to you.
It'll be.
It'll be sweet.
It'll be like your best friendtalking to you going, Hey, this
is true, you know, and God willuse it in life.
kimber (46:14):
I love that man.
Sue, what a beautiful story.
And like, I love being able tosee just like how you've, over
the years, like through your ownstory and then working with so
many other women, how you'vejust learned a way to tackle it
and you've learned how to walkwith the Lord in it.
Sue (46:32):
Okay, because you will have struggled throughout your life
because God, in hisgraciousness, he's making us
like Christ well, how do youbecome like Christ?
Right?
You think about that roughdiamond, what does it have to do
is evolve all that yuck on theoutside.
So he's still shaving the yuckoff me, Kimber, and when he does
(46:55):
that, You know, it's, hard.
Like one of my kids was goingthrough a really hard thing a
couple years ago.
Um, COVID kind of sparked someof it, and man, that was one was
actually the most painful timeof my life.
And it brought up in me a lotof, of fear and a lot of other
(47:15):
emotions, And you feel reallyout of control and you wanna
help, but
kimber (47:21):
Yes.
Sue (47:21):
And you know, so it was rough, but we got through it.
But I think what you're sayingisn't really that you won't,
that I haven't struggled butthat, or don't anymore, but that
now I understand where I have togo with that struggle.
I have to go to
kimber (47:38):
Of course we're still gonna struggle, but it's like we
have, you know, that you'velearned like how to.
Face it when you do.
Right.
Because it's like, it's like,man, sometimes I think when like
the loneliness or you know,whatever it is that comes at us,
I think it's easy to drown in itwhen you don't know how to
respond to it and, or theenemy's attack, you know, it's
(48:00):
like, it can feel sooverwhelming in whatever way
that comes.
But yeah, when you know how toprocess it and you have people
around you that can help youthrough that and remind you of
what's true, like, man, that isI think, one of the coolest ways
that God works through communityin our sanctification.
You know, it's not just
Sue (48:17):
Yeah.
I love that you're, you're allabout
kimber (48:20):
Yeah.
It's not just us, like out here,alone and unafraid
Sue (48:23):
Yes, I agree.
kimber (48:24):
you know, let the Holy Spirit work in our hearts to be
more like Jesus.
You know, he gives us peoplearound us to help us with that,
and I'm just so thankful forthat.
Sue (48:33):
Yeah, Yeah, and I think your ministry's very good at
encouraging people to really bethere for each other.
I think that's super important,especially us winning.
But it's true for guys too.
They just haven't figured thatout.
kimber (48:47):
They'll, they'll come around someday, maybe but yeah.
Well, I'm, I'm so thankful too.
Thank you for your kind words,and I'm so thankful that women
like me have women like you whohave run the race faithfully and
are doing what you feel like Godhas called you to do because,
man, we need, we need peoplerunning ahead.
I'm really thankful for you.
(49:09):
So thanks So much, friend.
Where can, where can my friendslistening find you and
Sue (49:13):
Yeah, so you can go on his heartbeat podcast.
With Sue Coral, c o r l, andalso our website, crown and
beauty international.com.
We have weekly devotionals andlots on there for you.
Uh, there's even underresources, you'll see a whole
list of lies and a whole list oftruths that can be really
(49:36):
helpful.
So just go on crown viewinternational.com and go to
resources.
Please sign up cuz you know,every month I'm putting out a
letter.
I'm getting really.
Now to that to encourage you inthat.
Um, and I really recommend, Ihave several books out, uh,
devotionals, but I have a Biblestudy called Crown of Beauty.
(49:57):
That's why we call our namethat, and it's very powerful.
It's a 12 week study go help youto begin to.
Identify lies and walk in truth.
It'll go through all thoseidentity pieces about yourself,
about God, about the work of thespirit, and even some teaching
(50:20):
on the enemy and how he worksand how to have victory.
So I really recommend Crown ofBeauty Week Bible study.
It's on Amazon.
All my books are on Amazon.
kimber (50:30):
man.
Awesome.
Very cool.
We'll check that out.
Thank you so much, Sue.
I so appreciate your time todayand it was great to talk to you
friend.
Sue (50:38):
Thank you.
kimber (50:43):
Friends.
I'm so glad you could join Sueand I this week on the, your
sister Kimber podcast.
So much comes back to identityin our lives.
And when it's rooted in anythingother than Jesus, we're building
on sand, not rock, but.
I'm so thankful for those in mylife who remind me of who I am
in Christ.
And as we wrap up thisloneliness series, I hope you
(51:06):
know that between the people Godhas put in your life and just
start good God, who is alwayswith us.
We may experience loneliness,but we never truly have to live
lonely.
And friends, one thing that canbe such a game changer in
learning your identity in Christand walking in it is a community
of women cheering you on andreminding you of what's true.
(51:29):
I would be so honored to share asmall corner of that part of
your life with you.
And some of you, I get to dothat in person through the local
church, but for the rest of us,we get to share this work of
iron sharpening iron online,through Instagram and my
newsletter crew.
If you don't currently receivemy weekly newsletter, you can
visit your sister kimber.com tosubscribe.
(51:50):
When you do, you'll get myweekly newsletter directly to
your email inbox each week witha preview of what will be
featured on the podcast.
Plus a preview and link to thismonth's blog post, and some
other resources and tips to helpyou grow friendships that honor
God.
And draw closer to Jesus.
I hope it blesses you friends.
And thank you so much for beingpart of this community until
(52:12):
next time.
It's your sister Kimber.
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