May 31, 2023 • 35 mins
I need a friend who prays.
Kimber and Meghan discuss how a growing prayer life can impact your friendships. They share things to look for in your relationships that invite prayer, and Meghan challenges us to process with God before going to our people.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kimber (00:09):
hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimberg Gilbert, andI'm really glad you're here
today.
What if I told you that the mostsignificant way you could grow
in your friendships was bygrowing in your prayer life.
Today, our series guest.
Co-host Megan.
Frable.
And I talk about how growing inour prayer life with God.
(00:30):
Impacts our friendships for somuch.
Good.
The truth is that the Lord is asource of community in our
lives.
And so when we grow closer anddeeper in relationship with him,
Our friendships will feel theblessings of that.
Growth comes from him in ourpersonal relationship with the
Lord.
So of course, growth in ourfriendships comes from him too.
The closer that we draw to theLord through prayer as a primary
(00:51):
avenue, the more that closenesswill spill out into our
friendships as well.
This series is all about growingand how we honor God and draw
closer to Jesus.
And by that, how authenticcommunity can begin to sprout in
our lives.
I wish we could snag a table forthree and talk this out over.
Um, what am I feeling today?
And iced peppermint mocha.
(01:12):
But this is the next best thing.
And so glad you hear friend,let's get started.
Hello friends.
Welcome, welcome.
We are here with, our specialguest co-host for this series,
Megan.
Um, and I'm so excited to talkto you today, Megan, continuing
(01:33):
in our series.
Meghan (01:34):
Yes.
I'm excited.
Thanks for having me back.
Kimber (01:37):
Yeah, of course last week we launched this series
called Being the Friend YouNeed, and it's all about just
how we are impacted by the kindsof people that we surround
ourselves with, right?
Like we, we can't deny that Ifeel like, of course, You know,
that doesn't mean that we onlyget to be around people that we
necessarily liked their impact,but when it comes to like
(01:57):
choosing your very closestfriends, like the people that
you're allowing to pour into youthat close inner circle, I think
it is really wise to like askourselves, are these the kind of
friends that I need in my lifethat I want in my life that are,
being godly influences to me.
I, so it's kind of a, a dynamichere, but I feel like we're
talking about those closestpeople.
Meghan (02:19):
yeah.
I was thinking about this liketaking inventory in a way, and I
don't mean that to sound like avery, like, you're making it
very exclusive, like you fit inhere and you don't, so you're
out, but, but really likeintentionally looking at the
people that have, you've letinto that inner circle of how
are they affecting my life?
Are they.
Pursuing, are they pursuingholiness?
(02:41):
Um, not perfection.
Cuz obviously none of us hitthat mark.
But how are they, influencing mewith my walk with the Lord?
How are they, um, are theypouring into me as much as maybe
I'm pouring out to them?
And obviously there's seasonswhere that's gonna ebb and flow
with.
It's not gonna be equal all thetime.
Um, but just those things of DoI leave?
(03:02):
That conversation, or do I leavethat person's house feeling
closer to God then before I,before I got there?
You know?
And so for me, that's kind oflike a measurement, a bar that I
kind of use for that.
Kimber (03:14):
yeah.
I love that because the like.
Flip side of that is, oh, well Ijust wanna like love everyone.
You, you know, like be loving toeveryone.
And I think that that is, youknow, there's these different
levels, like we talked aboutlast time, and we can have
people in our lives that we loveand then we spend time with who,
we don't leave their houses withthat feeling, but we know that
(03:35):
there's like maybe a missionalpurpose there, or it's just
someone who needs us.
Right.
But for these like relationshipsthat like, we're.
You know, sharing our deepeststuff with them, you know,
hoping that they'll pour intoour lives and bless us.
Like, yeah, I think that thatquestion is a good way to help
us kind of reflect on that.
And then if the answer is no forthat person, how do you think
(03:56):
we, like, what is the, ourresponse then to that?
Because it's not like we justcut'em off or something
Meghan (04:01):
no, yeah, but, but maybe, yeah, maybe it is more of
that, is this more of amissional,
Kimber (04:06):
Sure.
Meghan (04:07):
you know, opportunity for me or obviously like there's
areas in my life that I'm notkilling it in, you know, and so,
But I think as believers, ourintention is to always be
growing and be becoming morelike Christ.
So obviously there's gonna be ajourney there and I might be
lesser down the road thansomeone else or further down the
road than somebody else.
And so there is, but there'sthat like I'm pursuing that.
Kimber (04:30):
right.
Meghan (04:31):
But if there's not like this pursuit,
Kimber (04:34):
Yeah.
That's where you would wanna.
Meghan (04:36):
Maybe just evaluate, consider where, where they're
at.
And maybe like, it's not thatyou don't have to be friends
with them, but maybe it's,there's just gonna be some, some
boundaries maybe, or just I'mnot gonna go as deep and
Kimber (04:46):
right.
Meghan (04:47):
talk to'em about certain things, you know?
But not a, not a cutoff.
Yeah.
Kimber (04:51):
right.
And so I think that that, yeah,that as we approach these
conversations, I just wanna belike so clear about that because
I feel like, you know, this ideaof being the friend we need
could come across as like beingexclusive or like curating our
friendships or something.
Yeah.
And like, oh, this persondoesn't measure up because like
they don't have a great prayerlife or something like that.
(05:12):
But, Really, this is talkingabout like the people that we
allow to speak into us.
And then I think the flip sideof it is that if we're looking
for those kind of people in ourlife, like we get to start by
being that friend that we'relooking for.
And so a lot of this, I feellike is turning that around and
saying, well, you know, I reallywant someone in my life who.
(05:34):
You know, talks to the Lord alot, has a rich prayer life
because like obviously I seethat, that would bless me
spiritually.
And so instead of just, youknow, looking around and being
like, okay, who, like, who isthat?
I think it's really so good tolike focus in and say, okay, how
can I grow in this way?
Because I feel like a lot oftimes when we're.
Seeking something in our ownlives, um, like as a value or as
(05:56):
something we wanna grow in,we're gonna be attracted to
people who are also trying togrow in that area.
And so, I feel like reallytheen, the, the me focus of
like, how can I grow in thisarea is honestly one of the best
ways that we can begin lookingfor these kind of people to be
in our closest relationship withus, because then those are the
things that we care about too.
Meghan (06:15):
yep.
The iron sharpening iron, I feellike is a perfect
Kimber (06:18):
Yes,
Meghan (06:19):
example for that.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Kimber (06:21):
today we're talking about prayer and, um, I, we both
shared in the first episode thatwe talked about, how we were
excited to talk more aboutprayer and how that can impact
our friendships.
And I feel like.
The thing that I think of themost is like praying with
people, like, you know, prayingfor your friends when it comes
(06:41):
to friendship, but I'm actuallygonna like, try to force us kind
of to not talk about that yet.
Um, because next week we'regonna talk about intercessory
prayer, which is really like theidea of praying for our friends
and the people in our lives.
And so today I just want us tofocus in on our almost how like
our prayer lives impact.
(07:02):
Um, our, our relationships.
And so it's like how does thatvertical relationship almost
impact our horizontalrelationships?
So when we were saying that likewe were excited to talk about
prayer, why do you feel like youwere most excited about this
topic?
Like what was kind of firing foryou there?
Meghan (07:18):
Yeah.
Um, I think I've just been onkind of a journey the last
couple years with prayer and,um, how it fits into my life in
a way, how I communicate withGod.
and then yeah, how that kind ofspills out to how I pray for my
friends, how I pray for myfamily, and really knowing that
it's like going to war in abattle.
(07:38):
And, um, and, and also, Youknow, part of that ancestry, but
also how it has just brought mecloser and just a deeper love
with God and my father, and thatcommunication of a true
friendship versus who I just goto for my requests and, and
having that posture of that, andnot just these kind of spoken
(08:00):
words, and not that they weren'tsincere, but just like a deeper,
more sincere prayer life andmore intentional.
Kimber (08:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
I feel like for me as well, I'vebeen wanting that to be more
pervasive in my life because Ifeel like I have these times or
moments when, a lot of timesit's like surrounding a stressor
in my life and it's like I feellike my prayer life amps up in
response to that because I'mfeeling the stress and I know
(08:28):
that, you know, talking to theLord about it is something that.
Is beneficial.
Meghan (08:33):
Mm-hmm.
Kimber (08:33):
and so I feel like in those moments, I, I, I start to
see the vision for how this canbe such like a pervasive part of
our lives and such a fillingthing.
Like you talked about like a, a,just a deeper relationship.
Just like we would think aboutwith like a best friend.
Like, you know, yourrelationship is deeper than it
is with some people.
And and yet I feel like then Ialso am in seasons when I get
(08:56):
busy and I forget about,
Meghan (08:58):
Yeah.
Kimber (08:59):
good that seems, um, at times.
And so I feel like that'ssomething that I'm like
wrestling with now too, of like,okay, how do I like, want this
and desire this and, um,intentionally pursue this even
when like life is okay or youknow, when it doesn't seem like
I have to be,
Meghan (09:16):
Mm-hmm.
Kimber (09:17):
on my knees literally to survive.
Um, what do you feel like, howhas your prayer life been
challenged in the past severalyears, would you say?
Meghan (09:25):
Yeah, well, just kinda on that same note that you were
saying, um, I had someone awhile ago, probably a couple
years ago, say you, you know,looking at, like, we always say
God is my friend and I'm God'sfriend, and, but If we stay
surface level with ourfriendships, that's as far as
it's gonna go.
But so looking at ourrelationship and our prayer life
with God that way, that if weare just gonna stay at this
(09:46):
level, that's kind of where it'sgonna go.
But if we go deep, like I wouldhave over a cup of coffee with a
friend and going really deepwith them, like that's where our
relationship grows.
Like, but we don't get thereunless we like go.
And so, for me that's just kindof like, that was just kind of
like this light bulb
Kimber (10:01):
yeah.
Meghan (10:02):
oh, like I need to be really intentional.
and I've started just prayinglike every day, like, God, give
me a passion to pray.
Give me the passion to go deeperwith you and to have that, like,
in what in my life what is thatgonna look like, you know, for
my personal life or my, myprayer life towards others.
so, yeah, so that was just likea real big challenge for me is
to not let it be these justsurface words, but like, Really
(10:27):
intentionally, like what am Ispecifically praying for?
And being bold in my prayers andnot feeling like I have to have
my words perfect and or this biglong prayer.
Like I read something a coupleweeks ago, said like, even ugh,
can be a prayer like God, like,you know.
Kimber (10:43):
Yeah.
Meghan (10:44):
Like I need, you know, and so like God or just God, I
don't, I don't know the words,you know, I don't have these
words.
Um, yeah.
And so just knowing that it's arelationship and that I, God,
like he wants that nearness somuch and he's, he's done that,
but he has work on the crossand, you know, I need to make
that effort too.
So,
Kimber (11:04):
Yeah, I think it's almost, for me, um, I grew up in
the church and I feel like therecan be this tension of like,
there's a certain way you'resupposed to talk to God, or
like, you know, that like iflike an emotion is not maybe
fully like proper, we feel liketo bring to him, then we
struggle in those.
In those prayers, I think.
Um, and so it's like, I lovethat you said, actually going to
(11:27):
the, the deep stuff with him.
And I feel like a lot of timesthose things like, um, hey, I'm
really, I'm really upset aboutthe outcome of this.
Like situation or whatever, andI'm, I feel hurt and like I'm
angry at you, or I feel like youdidn't come through like I
thought you, like.
Going to those places in prayerssometimes feels uncomfortable
for me, at least as someone whogrew up in the church.
(11:49):
I don't know if that'severyone's experience.
Meghan (11:51):
yeah, that was for me, it felt like, it felt like you
don't, you don't do that.
Like you don't tell God you'remad at him.
Kimber (11:57):
Right.
And I'm like, why?
Like, where does that come from?
I wonder.
Meghan (12:00):
I don't, I don't know.
if it's just like, I don't know.
I've thought about this beforeof like, and I don't know if
this was my, how I perceived itas I have to be cleaned up and
have all the words and have likeprocessed all my stuff before
taking it to God, where it'slike the opposite.
I need to process with God.
Yeah.
Like I, you know, and so I thinkthat, yeah, that too.
And, and I think also changing,you know, like I grew up in a,
(12:23):
Church culture was a little bitmore, conservative.
And prayers were like, this isjust part of being a Christian
and these are what you do.
But then changing that phrasefor me of, I don't, I don't have
to pray like I get to pray.
And how cool is that, that Iserve a God that actually
communicate, that communicateswith me And I get to and wants
(12:44):
to hear me.
Yeah.
And so it's not that I have to,I get to, and how amazing is
that?
Kimber (12:50):
I love that perspective because like if we are thinking
of it like a relationship, likewe would a friendship of course.
Like you would assume that yourfriend wants to talk to you
like,
Meghan (13:01):
yeah.
If
Kimber (13:02):
like that would
Meghan (13:02):
talk to
Kimber (13:03):
yeah, that would be the assumption.
And you know, say you talkingabout like processing with God,
I think that is something thathas.
Kept popping up recently in myconversations with people.
And so usually when that happensit's cuz the Lord's trying to
teach me something and it'slike, that would, that is such a
normal thing I think especiallyfor us as women.
Like, you know, we love toprocess with our girlfriends,
(13:25):
right?
At least like maybe, I don'tknow, I don't know a percentage,
but a lot of us, I feel likelove that.
Even me, I'm an internalprocessor and I still love to
like talk things out.
With my friends.
Right.
And I know, especially forexternal processors, that's a
huge help.
And so it's like, yeah.
Yeah.
And so, uh, one of my bestfriends is, we talk about this
all the time cuz she's such anexternal processor and so yeah.
(13:47):
It's like that is so natural forus, I think in our friendships.
And I think it's just, for me atleast, it's the challenge of, I
mean, God doesn't literally talkback most of the time, right?
Like I feel like the way that Ihear from the Holy Spirit is
usually through writing.
Like I journal a lot.
And so I feel like that is sortof a way where I feel like I can
(14:07):
have a dialogue with God, butit's still obviously totally
different than.
A relationship with a friend whois sitting across from you,
because I feel like I'm stillfiltering it or like processing
his response through my ownmind.
And so then it becomes, it canfeel untrustworthy, I think, or
just like uncertain.
And I'm like, did I hear itright?
(14:29):
Is that, is that what you said?
Is that like, does scriptureback that up?
You know, and that's a wholelearning curve right there.
Meghan (14:36):
Yes.
Yeah.
And not a bad thing.
Yeah.
Kimber (14:39):
Right.
It's good, but it, it'sdifferent than like talking to a
friend.
So how do you feel like youprocess with God?
Like what does that look likefor you?
Meghan (14:49):
Yeah.
Well, I am an externalprocessor, so I would, I would
say that this has been mybiggest challenge, one of my
biggest challenges.
Is the practice of going to Godbefore I go to someone else.
Um, because it is, it is mynatural tendency to pick up the
phone and call my friend, orcall my mom or call my husband
and be like, you know, oh mygosh, you know,
Kimber (15:09):
need to talk this out.
Meghan (15:10):
I need talk.
Um, And I, I literally have to,for a long time I had a little
thing on my mirror that said,have you prayed about it as much
as you've talked about it?
And I
Kimber (15:21):
Oh,
Meghan (15:21):
like a very like Christianese like thing
Kimber (15:25):
also sounds accurate, like to me.
Yeah.
Meghan (15:27):
very icu and because for me that it would be the last
thing I would do at sometimes,like
Kimber (15:34):
Eventually I would get to
Meghan (15:35):
And then I get to Jesus.
Yeah.
And it's like, mm.
And I got real convicted aboutthat.
Um, and so it is like I've, I'vegot it in my mind.
I mean, I, and I don't always, Imean it happens, but where I'm
like, have I actually stoppedand like really prayed about it
and not just like, do Jesus helpthe situation?
Okay.
Dial in front, you know, butlike, actually, um, yeah.
(15:56):
So that's been my, my achilleshealed in a lot of ways.
Um, and definitely grow anddefinitely growing in that.
But for me, my kids are in aolder, I'm in an older season of
motherhood stage, and so I'mable to have that quiet time
now.
And that is like where for me,I, I write, I have a prayer
journal and I write out myprayers and that's like my, like
(16:16):
really special time with theLord every morning.
And um, and then just throughoutthe day, like it's.
And it doesn't always get to bethis half an hour contending for
something, but just like, God,you know, I'm walking into a
meeting like, I need you to bemy words, you know?
Or I need you to help me withthis.
Or, you know, a parenting issueand I'm gonna have to walk into
(16:36):
a room with a hormonal teenager,like, God, give me the, like,
you know, it doesn't have to bethis like perfect environment,
but it is learning to practicehis presence daily for me, you
know?
Kimber (16:49):
Yeah, I feel like that's something that the season of
motherhood has.
Really helped me learn is themore like constant dialogue
because before I had my kiddo, Ireally loved like a long
morning, quiet time and thatwasn't always possible when I
was working as well.
But, um, if I had my like wayand I had like the day off, or
(17:11):
it was a weekend or something, Iwanted a long morning, quiet
time.
And when I was teaching, itbecame the same thing too, as it
has been in motherhood I feellike.
But it's like, um, I have likesmall moments and so it's that
more like constant dialogue andI feel like neither is.
Ideal by itself.
I think you need both.
Um,
Meghan (17:30):
both?
Yeah.
Kimber (17:31):
and so learning to carve out or like just finding time to
carve out a time for that, evenin this stage of life has been
just like a discipline I think.
Um, and so I think, you know,there's grace for that if, you
know, you don't have that forsure.
But I do see the benefit of thatlonger time as well, especially
(17:51):
at the beginning of the day.
I, I started doing that, um,back in the beginning of the
year.
I felt challenged to do that andI was like, I can't do it.
I'm such a bad mor, I'm not amorning person at all.
I was like, I can't do it.
I'm tired at night and I'm tiredin the morning.
I don't know what to do.
And, um, And I started, I justlike, was like, okay, I just
have to try it.
(18:11):
And I really have seen theblessings of that.
And so, so I'm like, but it'sstill a challenge every day.
But I, I am like, man, workingtowards both of those things
being true I think is such ablessing because, you know, if
we're talking about like arelationship.
man, we need, like with ourfriends, we need those like,
deep heart to heart moments.
(18:32):
Like I just took a girl's triprecently and like, you need that
kind of concentrated time withyour friends.
You need a girl's night here andthere.
Um, I think to have time to godeeper like that, but we also
wouldn't say probably that like,oh, I'm going to, you know, go
on a girls trip one weekend ayear, and then the rest of the
year I'm not gonna talk to themlike,
Meghan (18:53):
exactly.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
You've got your like deep,intentional, and then you've got
your like, you know, Hey, how'syour day?
Or just, you know, what'shappening?
Yeah.
When I was in high school, I hadsomeone, he was a, like a guest
pastor, come into our youthgroup and he said this phrase,
and honestly like, it's kind ofinteresting.
It's the one thing I rememberfrom high school youth group
(19:15):
that has stayed in my brain andhe said, I never pray for more
than five minutes, but I nevergo more than five minutes
without praying.
Kimber (19:23):
Interesting.
Meghan (19:25):
It was very in.
Like I've thought about that ofjust like that.
daily connection of like, thatconnection of I'm always having
a line of communication
Kimber (19:34):
Right?
Meghan (19:34):
to God, you know?
And uh, yeah, I thought that waskind of cool.
And, and there's grace for ourseasons because there's.
Kimber (19:40):
Yeah.
There
Meghan (19:41):
You know, we're all in different stages and it's
figuring out, you know, maybeit's listening to the Bible on
your drive to pick up, to go toCostco, pick up kids and, or
you've gotta, I used to leave myBible in the kitchen counter
when my kids were little becauseit would just be like, I just
read like a verse and kind ofmunch and walk, you know, and
I'm, and it was just kind ofvery short and sporadic.
(20:02):
But, you know, that's how Iwould try to do it.
And Yeah.
same as you.
My, I used to go to like wake upand I'd go straight to the gym.
In the mornings at like 5:00 AMand, and while that's not,
that's fine.
I was realizing that I wascoming home and I'd only have
like 15, 20 minutes to read theBible.
And I was feeling, and for me, II, I remember one morning I was
(20:23):
sitting there and I was prayingand I literally felt like the,
God was like, I feel like you'regiving me your leftovers.
Kimber (20:29):
Hmm.
Meghan (20:30):
Like that's kind of what for me.
And so I was like, all right, soI like adjusted that.
It's like, okay, so now it'squiet time and if I have time in
that morning, or I'm gonna haveto find another time during the
day to go to the gym.
Like that was a conviction forme that I
Kimber (20:43):
Yeah.
Meghan (20:44):
that priority first right now.
And, and I've seen so muchblessing come outta
Kimber (20:48):
Right.
I think that there is like, whenwe like try to obey in those
moments, in those ways, when wehear that prodding, um, I think
that the Lord's gonna honor thatfor sure.
This, this didn't continue, butfor the first two days that I
was trying to like get up earlyso that I could have quiet time
in the morning before.
The kiddo woke up.
Um, he slept so much later, and,and I, I was like, I was like,
(21:12):
okay, I can't think of this aslike a magic trick, but I did
feel like it was just a sweet,like, gift from the Lord that
was like Hey, like th yes.
Like, thank you for obeying.
Like I'm gonna honor this kindof, and so that was a blessing
to me.
And, yeah, didn't, didn'tcontinue, but, um, it was.
It was sweet because I feellike, yeah, it's, it's such a
(21:33):
relationship, not like alegalistic thing.
And when it's a relationship,like Yeah, of course you wanna
spend that time
Meghan (21:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kimber (21:40):
Yeah.
I, uh, was thinking with this,I'm like, okay, how does,
obviously we think of this ideaof growing in our prayer life
as.
Blessing us spiritually, likepersonally.
Um, but how do you see a strongprayer life, like a growing
prayer life with the Lord asblessing our friendships?
how does this growing connectionin a deeper relationship with
(22:02):
the Lord, how does that thenalmost seep out into our
relationships around us, do youthink?
Meghan (22:09):
Yeah, I think that, I know for me, when I am, get
drawing near to the Lord andinvesting in my relationship
with him, that he's gonna startmolding and growing and I'm
gonna start.
Having more joy and more peace.
And just like with anything,when you're doing this input,
there's gonna be an output.
And
Kimber (22:28):
Yeah.
Meghan (22:28):
is that output?
And it's showing joy to othersand forgiveness towards others
and grace and, self-control.
Like you're, you're gonna start
Kimber (22:37):
Yeah.
Those fruits of the spirit.
Meghan (22:39):
the fruits of the spirit.
are gonna start pouring outbecause you are going near to
the father and he's gonna startspeaking to you and.
Um, is it, you know, that verseout of the heart, the mouth
speaks, like that's what's gonnabe coming.
and there's so much beauty inthat, that, you know, we, when
you, get some exciting news,like you wanna share it, you
know, and so it's gonna be justthis, that's just the Holy
(23:02):
Spirit in us that makes us wantto show that and give that.
I know that for me, I, when myrelationship with the Lord.
if I haven't had that time withhim, or my prayer life hasn't
been that great, like I reallystart to notice that his voice
gets quieter and the enemy'svoice gets louder.
And that's where I start to kindof operate out of that.
Like insecurity or that fear offailure or that people pleasing
(23:25):
starts to kind of like, I startto see that shifting
Kimber (23:28):
Hmm.
Meghan (23:29):
I'm like, oh, why?
Why do I feel like I'm just, oh,I'm like, oh, I haven't been
Kimber (23:33):
Yeah.
Meghan (23:35):
Like, oh yeah.
I miss
Kimber (23:37):
I feel like, I feel like we think of them as separate a
lot of times, like ourrelationships with people and
our relationship with God.
But like, I feel like I talk alot around here about this idea
that like, Community in ourlives is like an outflow of our
relationship with the Lord.
And so that to me mirrors whatyou're saying with like the
fruits of the spirit, coming outof that closer relationship
because if we're, doingfriendship from a place that's
(24:00):
centered in the Lord.
Then it's like an outflow of thejoy and the peace and all that
stuff that he's given us in ourrelationship with him.
And so it's not so much that weget what we need from.
People around us, like our needsgetting met and stuff, but
rather like our needs are met bythe Lord relationally, and then
we can pour that out into thosearound us.
(24:21):
And so I love that kind of likeperspective shift.
I feel like that's been reallyhelpful for me in just
remembering like that whensomeone disappoints me in my
life or like I feel like they'renot being a very good friend to
me at that time or whateverthat.
my identity doesn't rest onthat.
Like my ability to love themwell, doesn't rest on how they
love me.
(24:41):
Like it is an outflow from myrelationship with God.
And so I feel like prayer I.
My prayer life with him isdirectly affecting my
friendships.
Then even though it, it seemslike maybe it would be
different, but because it'slike, what's the quality of my
well, like, you know,
Meghan (24:57):
Yeah.
Yeah.
what's my
Kimber (24:59):
poured out essentially?
Yeah.
And if it's, if it's like, youknow, a slow trickle, then I'm
not gonna have much to pour outinto loving my friends.
Well.
Um, and
Meghan (25:08):
yeah.
I love that.
That's really good.
Yeah, I, I read a PriscillaShire book once.
Um, I encourage everyone to,it's called The Armor of God
Bible Study, and it's so good.
And she has kind of an acronymfor prayer that I love.
And it's, um, so it's prayer andit's prayer releases all your
eternal resources.
And or no?
Yeah.
Prayer releases.
(25:29):
Yeah.
All your eternal, Yeah.
Kimber (25:30):
em.
Meghan (25:30):
um, I was like, I make sure
Kimber (25:32):
Did I spell it right?
Meghan (25:33):
did I spell it right?
Um, and so knowing that like wehave, because we're believers in
Christ, like we have all theseresources to be able to hear
from our father and be able tohave the Holy Spirit and the
fruits of the spirit, like thoseare all there.
And when we pray and we ask God,like, give me more of this, or I
wanna be.
More like you.
Like he, we have that already.
(25:54):
And then this is just, it's likethat amazing.
It's the mystery of it, of howwe already have it, but yet God
wants us to still ask for it,you know?
And
Kimber (26:05):
Mm-hmm.
Meghan (26:05):
yeah, like it's really, it's
Kimber (26:06):
like more of it to like show it, pour it out.
Yeah.
Hmm.
I love
Meghan (26:11):
Yeah.
I'm not sure how all that works,but
Kimber (26:13):
Yeah.
Well that's the mystery of itthat we get to talk to God
about.
Meghan (26:17):
Yeah, Yep.
Kimber (26:19):
So as we're like, we're thinking of in our own lives how
we can be this friend who likewants to grow in our prayer life
and is pursuing a deeperconnection with the Lord to
impact our friendships aroundus.
Um, with this idea that we'vebeen talking of, like looking
around in our lives for thesepeople around us that like are
(26:41):
showing these.
Qualities that we probably wannalean into those friendships a
little bit more.
What are, what do you think arelike some of those evidences
that we should watch for?
Like how can we start to noticethe people around us that are
pursuing this same kind of likerich prayer life with the Lord
as well?
Meghan (26:58):
Yeah, I think, um, one thing I've noticed is when
people just kind of step up oflike, why don't we pray for
that?
And there's kind of more bold inthat of like, all right, because
that was something that I wasreally good at my own.
Even being a very big extrovert,like doing that out loud was
really, Hard,
Kimber (27:15):
it is.
Yeah.
Meghan (27:16):
talking about it too, of like, I've been praying for
this, and there's just a,there's a, uh, verbal, I feel
like you talk about it, like I'mpraying for that, but I think
seeing it has been a big
Kimber (27:27):
Whether you, you right, you can say it, but does that
actually mean it's happening or,or just I think it like, It
builds up the body to like hearother people pray too.
Like that's why we praycorporately as well, I think.
Um, because it's encouraging.
Meghan (27:42):
Yeah.
But I think for me it's beennoticing that the, you know,
your people are expressedtalking about their prayer life,
but then I'm seeing it outflowinto how their relationships of
like, let's, let's just stop andpray.
Like, let's just stop and prayand like, okay.
You
Kimber (27:57):
Yeah.
Meghan (27:57):
awesome.
Kimber (27:58):
Mm-hmm.
I love that.
I feel like one that came tomind for me too, that same thing
I feel like is something that Ilove it when people do that, and
yet it feels hard, for sure.
But, I feel like it blesses meso much that it encourages me to
try to do that kind of thingtoo.
Um, and the other thing that I.
I was noticing or thinking aboutwith this is when people just
(28:19):
talk about what they weretalking to God about, like, and,
and, it's not, I feel like thisis a little bit of like a you
know, there's a way to do thisisn't like pretentious because I
feel like it could come acrossas like, Oh, well, when I was
praying for 10 hours yesterdayor whatever.
Meghan (28:38):
I had my fast and pray day.
Kimber (28:40):
Right.
Um, and we know that like, youknow, Jesus says to not like,
uh, be arrogant or, um, liketalk a lot about what we're
praying and.
You know, I think that's inMatthew, like seven or so where
he's like, don't you know, prayon the street corner like the
Pharisees do.
Instead go into your room andtalk to God who hears you.
Right?
(29:00):
So it's not so much that kind oftalk, but I think when, you
know, I'm talking especially tolike a close friend and it's
just like she's talking and it'sjust like, It's just part of
what she did.
So she's just telling me aboutit.
Like, well, I was talking to Godabout that and this is why it
came up in my mind.
Like it's just part of the morenatural, um, flow of your life.
And I feel like those are suchthe special relationships when
(29:21):
you can just flow in yourconversation in and out of
spiritual matters because it isjust that interwoven.
Into your friend's life and intoyour relationship even as
friends.
And so I feel like it encouragesme when I hear someone saying
that kind of thing, not in anarrogant way, but just in a
like, well, that's what I do, Ipray, and so I'm just telling
(29:43):
you about what I feel like Godsaid in relation to this other
thing we're talking about orwhatever.
Because then it just reminds methat, like that is, that
relationship is a safe place totalk about our relationship with
the Lord as though as just aslike we would another
friendship.
Right, because like if I'mtalking to someone and I'm like,
oh, my friend told me this theother day about this other thing
(30:04):
that I, you know, we wouldn'tthink twice about that.
Right.
But for some reason, sometimesit can feel weird to say things
like, well, when I was prayingthe other day, I feel like the
Lord said this this thing.
Like, sometimes that feelsuncomfortable a little bit.
And so I feel like therelationships where I can say
that kind of thing, or I havefriends say that kind of thing
to me, just out of authenticity,um, I know that that's like,
(30:25):
that's a special thing I think.
Meghan (30:27):
So good.
Yes, I agree 100%.
I love that.
Kimber (30:30):
Cool.
Well, um, as we're kind ofwrapping up here, um, I was
thinking, I was, I asked youabout this the other day, if you
would be up for this.
I feel like it would be reallyfun to end our talks this summer
in this series, um, with justlike a little bit of a practical
challenge.
So like, just to help ourfriends listening and me, cuz I
need this too, to like put thesethings that we're talking about
(30:52):
into practice.
You know, this idea of.
Be the friend you need.
Okay.
What's my next step to like, goout and try to put this into
practice?
So talking based on the thingslike we're talking about here
today with this idea of prayer.
what's your challenge for
Meghan (31:06):
Okay, so I have like two.
That's
Kimber (31:09):
I love it.
Two options or they have to doboth.
I'm just kidding.
Meghan (31:12):
I'd say option.
Well, it could be what you want.
If you wanna be a go-getter.
Go do both.
I think they're both good.
One is, the first one's gonna bekind of like the obvious one,
and that is, your challenge thisweek is to take it to God first.
Kimber (31:25):
Yeah.
I love
Meghan (31:26):
that.
when you feel that urge to.
Pick up the phone or like pauseand go, have I prayed about it
yet?
And that's not to say that youcannot externally process with
someone because I think thatthat is so important too.
So important, so good.
And like, yes.
And we need that because I'mhearing God's voice, even
(31:47):
through my friends and myhusband
Kimber (31:49):
Yeah.
Meghan (31:50):
too.
But the first place we go is ourbest friend and our father.
So when the next situation hits,Stop and pray and try to, yeah.
process with him first.
And the second one was to writeit down.
Like write.
Sometimes writing down ourprayers like that is something
for me that's been really good.
(32:10):
And it's so amazing to look backand go like, wow, this is where
I was at and this is what Godbrought me through, or he
answered that.
Or this is where I am stillneeding to pray over the
situation.
Um, so writing it down, even ifit's just on like a little.
Post It note, you know, justsomething,
Kimber (32:28):
I feel like that
Meghan (32:29):
me patience with my kids
Kimber (32:30):
right.
It helps like just mark it downand solidify it in our memory, I
think as a prayer.
Yeah.
I love
Meghan (32:37):
Yeah.
I couldn't
Kimber (32:38):
Oh, those are so good.
Meghan (32:38):
gonna do two challenges.
Kimber (32:40):
I think it's great.
I think it's great.
So Thank you for our challenges.
I will be trying to do thosethis week.
I actually have a prayer journalthat I got that's like a five
year prayer journal, and so youcan like, so you write on the
day and then each year it takesyou through, like it has the
five year spaces on the sameday.
It's by Hosanna revival.
(33:02):
Um, and.
I, I, I've used for a some, um,but I need to grow in, in my
using it.
There's opportunity for growth.
It's currently propping mycomputer up so that that's an
evidence that, um, there's someroom to grow there.
But I love the idea and so yourchallenge is hopefully gonna
help me get back in the
Meghan (33:21):
All right.
Kimber (33:22):
So I love it.
Good stuff.
Well, Megan, thanks so much forchatting with us today about
prayer and I'm excited to talknext week about intercession cuz
that's the other side of thiscoin and I feel like it's one
that we probably both love.
Meghan (33:39):
love.
Kimber (33:39):
So
Meghan (33:40):
Yeah,
Kimber (33:41):
cool.
Well, have a great day, Megan.
Meghan (33:42):
You too.
Kimber (33:43):
Bye friends.
Bye.
Friends.
I'm so glad you could join meand Megan on the show this week.
I love talking about prayertoday with you all.
And this is an area I'm reallywanting to grow in my life.
And so talking about is a keypart of that for me, maybe it is
(34:04):
for you too, but friend,remember that we can talk about
prayer all day, but until weactually start doing it with the
father, we're going to just saystuck, spinning our wheels.
So I hope you decide to takeMegan's challenge this week and
start putting these talks intopractice as you seek.
To grow closer to Jesus.
And if you're loving this seriesso far, would you tell a friend
(34:24):
about the podcast this week?
Just shoot her a DM with a postfrom social or a text or an
episode link with something likeI'm so excited for this new
series on the horses to Kimberpodcast.
And I'd love if you listened inand we can talk about it the
next time we hang out.
This is a great way to get thoseconversations going with your
friends, as you all seek to growin these areas together.
And I know how busy summer canget.
(34:46):
So make sure that you havesubscribed to the podcast
wherever you listen, so thatit'll automatically drop into
your feed and you won't miss anepisode.
You can also sign up to be partof my newsletter crew so that
you get a weekly previewdirectly to your email inbox of
what will be on the podcast thatweek.
Just visit your sisterkimber.com and subscribe there.
Friends.
(35:06):
Thank you so much for spendingpart of your day with us until
next time.
It's your sister Kimber.
hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimberg Gilbert, andI'm really glad you're here
today.
What if I told you that the mostsignificant way you could grow
in your friendships was bygrowing in your prayer life.
Today, our series guest.
Co-host Megan.
Frable.
And I talk about how growing inour prayer life with God.
(00:30):
Impacts our friendships for somuch.
Good.
The truth is that the Lord is asource of community in our
lives.
And so when we grow closer anddeeper in relationship with him,
Our friendships will feel theblessings of that.
Growth comes from him in ourpersonal relationship with the
Lord.
So of course, growth in ourfriendships comes from him too.
The closer that we draw to theLord through prayer as a primary
(00:51):
avenue, the more that closenesswill spill out into our
friendships as well.
This series is all about growingand how we honor God and draw
closer to Jesus.
And by that, how authenticcommunity can begin to sprout in
our lives.
I wish we could snag a table forthree and talk this out over.
Um, what am I feeling today?
And iced peppermint mocha.
(01:12):
But this is the next best thing.
And so glad you hear friend,let's get started.
Hello friends.
Welcome, welcome.
We are here with, our specialguest co-host for this series,
Megan.
Um, and I'm so excited to talkto you today, Megan, continuing
(01:33):
in our series.
Meghan (01:34):
Yes.
I'm excited.
Thanks for having me back.
Kimber (01:37):
Yeah, of course last week we launched this series
called Being the Friend YouNeed, and it's all about just
how we are impacted by the kindsof people that we surround
ourselves with, right?
Like we, we can't deny that Ifeel like, of course, You know,
that doesn't mean that we onlyget to be around people that we
necessarily liked their impact,but when it comes to like
(01:57):
choosing your very closestfriends, like the people that
you're allowing to pour into youthat close inner circle, I think
it is really wise to like askourselves, are these the kind of
friends that I need in my lifethat I want in my life that are,
being godly influences to me.
I, so it's kind of a, a dynamichere, but I feel like we're
talking about those closestpeople.
Meghan (02:19):
yeah.
I was thinking about this liketaking inventory in a way, and I
don't mean that to sound like avery, like, you're making it
very exclusive, like you fit inhere and you don't, so you're
out, but, but really likeintentionally looking at the
people that have, you've letinto that inner circle of how
are they affecting my life?
Are they.
Pursuing, are they pursuingholiness?
(02:41):
Um, not perfection.
Cuz obviously none of us hitthat mark.
But how are they, influencing mewith my walk with the Lord?
How are they, um, are theypouring into me as much as maybe
I'm pouring out to them?
And obviously there's seasonswhere that's gonna ebb and flow
with.
It's not gonna be equal all thetime.
Um, but just those things of DoI leave?
(03:02):
That conversation, or do I leavethat person's house feeling
closer to God then before I,before I got there?
You know?
And so for me, that's kind oflike a measurement, a bar that I
kind of use for that.
Kimber (03:14):
yeah.
I love that because the like.
Flip side of that is, oh, well Ijust wanna like love everyone.
You, you know, like be loving toeveryone.
And I think that that is, youknow, there's these different
levels, like we talked aboutlast time, and we can have
people in our lives that we loveand then we spend time with who,
we don't leave their houses withthat feeling, but we know that
(03:35):
there's like maybe a missionalpurpose there, or it's just
someone who needs us.
Right.
But for these like relationshipsthat like, we're.
You know, sharing our deepeststuff with them, you know,
hoping that they'll pour intoour lives and bless us.
Like, yeah, I think that thatquestion is a good way to help
us kind of reflect on that.
And then if the answer is no forthat person, how do you think
(03:56):
we, like, what is the, ourresponse then to that?
Because it's not like we justcut'em off or something
Meghan (04:01):
no, yeah, but, but maybe, yeah, maybe it is more of
that, is this more of amissional,
Kimber (04:06):
Sure.
Meghan (04:07):
you know, opportunity for me or obviously like there's
areas in my life that I'm notkilling it in, you know, and so,
But I think as believers, ourintention is to always be
growing and be becoming morelike Christ.
So obviously there's gonna be ajourney there and I might be
lesser down the road thansomeone else or further down the
road than somebody else.
And so there is, but there'sthat like I'm pursuing that.
Kimber (04:30):
right.
Meghan (04:31):
But if there's not like this pursuit,
Kimber (04:34):
Yeah.
That's where you would wanna.
Meghan (04:36):
Maybe just evaluate, consider where, where they're
at.
And maybe like, it's not thatyou don't have to be friends
with them, but maybe it's,there's just gonna be some, some
boundaries maybe, or just I'mnot gonna go as deep and
Kimber (04:46):
right.
Meghan (04:47):
talk to'em about certain things, you know?
But not a, not a cutoff.
Yeah.
Kimber (04:51):
right.
And so I think that that, yeah,that as we approach these
conversations, I just wanna belike so clear about that because
I feel like, you know, this ideaof being the friend we need
could come across as like beingexclusive or like curating our
friendships or something.
Yeah.
And like, oh, this persondoesn't measure up because like
they don't have a great prayerlife or something like that.
(05:12):
But, Really, this is talkingabout like the people that we
allow to speak into us.
And then I think the flip sideof it is that if we're looking
for those kind of people in ourlife, like we get to start by
being that friend that we'relooking for.
And so a lot of this, I feellike is turning that around and
saying, well, you know, I reallywant someone in my life who.
(05:34):
You know, talks to the Lord alot, has a rich prayer life
because like obviously I seethat, that would bless me
spiritually.
And so instead of just, youknow, looking around and being
like, okay, who, like, who isthat?
I think it's really so good tolike focus in and say, okay, how
can I grow in this way?
Because I feel like a lot oftimes when we're.
Seeking something in our ownlives, um, like as a value or as
(05:56):
something we wanna grow in,we're gonna be attracted to
people who are also trying togrow in that area.
And so, I feel like reallytheen, the, the me focus of
like, how can I grow in thisarea is honestly one of the best
ways that we can begin lookingfor these kind of people to be
in our closest relationship withus, because then those are the
things that we care about too.
Meghan (06:15):
yep.
The iron sharpening iron, I feellike is a perfect
Kimber (06:18):
Yes,
Meghan (06:19):
example for that.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Kimber (06:21):
today we're talking about prayer and, um, I, we both
shared in the first episode thatwe talked about, how we were
excited to talk more aboutprayer and how that can impact
our friendships.
And I feel like.
The thing that I think of themost is like praying with
people, like, you know, prayingfor your friends when it comes
(06:41):
to friendship, but I'm actuallygonna like, try to force us kind
of to not talk about that yet.
Um, because next week we'regonna talk about intercessory
prayer, which is really like theidea of praying for our friends
and the people in our lives.
And so today I just want us tofocus in on our almost how like
our prayer lives impact.
(07:02):
Um, our, our relationships.
And so it's like how does thatvertical relationship almost
impact our horizontalrelationships?
So when we were saying that likewe were excited to talk about
prayer, why do you feel like youwere most excited about this
topic?
Like what was kind of firing foryou there?
Meghan (07:18):
Yeah.
Um, I think I've just been onkind of a journey the last
couple years with prayer and,um, how it fits into my life in
a way, how I communicate withGod.
and then yeah, how that kind ofspills out to how I pray for my
friends, how I pray for myfamily, and really knowing that
it's like going to war in abattle.
(07:38):
And, um, and, and also, Youknow, part of that ancestry, but
also how it has just brought mecloser and just a deeper love
with God and my father, and thatcommunication of a true
friendship versus who I just goto for my requests and, and
having that posture of that, andnot just these kind of spoken
(08:00):
words, and not that they weren'tsincere, but just like a deeper,
more sincere prayer life andmore intentional.
Kimber (08:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
I feel like for me as well, I'vebeen wanting that to be more
pervasive in my life because Ifeel like I have these times or
moments when, a lot of timesit's like surrounding a stressor
in my life and it's like I feellike my prayer life amps up in
response to that because I'mfeeling the stress and I know
(08:28):
that, you know, talking to theLord about it is something that.
Is beneficial.
Meghan (08:33):
Mm-hmm.
Kimber (08:33):
and so I feel like in those moments, I, I, I start to
see the vision for how this canbe such like a pervasive part of
our lives and such a fillingthing.
Like you talked about like a, a,just a deeper relationship.
Just like we would think aboutwith like a best friend.
Like, you know, yourrelationship is deeper than it
is with some people.
And and yet I feel like then Ialso am in seasons when I get
(08:56):
busy and I forget about,
Meghan (08:58):
Yeah.
Kimber (08:59):
good that seems, um, at times.
And so I feel like that'ssomething that I'm like
wrestling with now too, of like,okay, how do I like, want this
and desire this and, um,intentionally pursue this even
when like life is okay or youknow, when it doesn't seem like
I have to be,
Meghan (09:16):
Mm-hmm.
Kimber (09:17):
on my knees literally to survive.
Um, what do you feel like, howhas your prayer life been
challenged in the past severalyears, would you say?
Meghan (09:25):
Yeah, well, just kinda on that same note that you were
saying, um, I had someone awhile ago, probably a couple
years ago, say you, you know,looking at, like, we always say
God is my friend and I'm God'sfriend, and, but If we stay
surface level with ourfriendships, that's as far as
it's gonna go.
But so looking at ourrelationship and our prayer life
with God that way, that if weare just gonna stay at this
(09:46):
level, that's kind of where it'sgonna go.
But if we go deep, like I wouldhave over a cup of coffee with a
friend and going really deepwith them, like that's where our
relationship grows.
Like, but we don't get thereunless we like go.
And so, for me that's just kindof like, that was just kind of
like this light bulb
Kimber (10:01):
yeah.
Meghan (10:02):
oh, like I need to be really intentional.
and I've started just prayinglike every day, like, God, give
me a passion to pray.
Give me the passion to go deeperwith you and to have that, like,
in what in my life what is thatgonna look like, you know, for
my personal life or my, myprayer life towards others.
so, yeah, so that was just likea real big challenge for me is
to not let it be these justsurface words, but like, Really
(10:27):
intentionally, like what am Ispecifically praying for?
And being bold in my prayers andnot feeling like I have to have
my words perfect and or this biglong prayer.
Like I read something a coupleweeks ago, said like, even ugh,
can be a prayer like God, like,you know.
Kimber (10:43):
Yeah.
Meghan (10:44):
Like I need, you know, and so like God or just God, I
don't, I don't know the words,you know, I don't have these
words.
Um, yeah.
And so just knowing that it's arelationship and that I, God,
like he wants that nearness somuch and he's, he's done that,
but he has work on the crossand, you know, I need to make
that effort too.
So,
Kimber (11:04):
Yeah, I think it's almost, for me, um, I grew up in
the church and I feel like therecan be this tension of like,
there's a certain way you'resupposed to talk to God, or
like, you know, that like iflike an emotion is not maybe
fully like proper, we feel liketo bring to him, then we
struggle in those.
In those prayers, I think.
Um, and so it's like, I lovethat you said, actually going to
(11:27):
the, the deep stuff with him.
And I feel like a lot of timesthose things like, um, hey, I'm
really, I'm really upset aboutthe outcome of this.
Like situation or whatever, andI'm, I feel hurt and like I'm
angry at you, or I feel like youdidn't come through like I
thought you, like.
Going to those places in prayerssometimes feels uncomfortable
for me, at least as someone whogrew up in the church.
(11:49):
I don't know if that'severyone's experience.
Meghan (11:51):
yeah, that was for me, it felt like, it felt like you
don't, you don't do that.
Like you don't tell God you'remad at him.
Kimber (11:57):
Right.
And I'm like, why?
Like, where does that come from?
I wonder.
Meghan (12:00):
I don't, I don't know.
if it's just like, I don't know.
I've thought about this beforeof like, and I don't know if
this was my, how I perceived itas I have to be cleaned up and
have all the words and have likeprocessed all my stuff before
taking it to God, where it'slike the opposite.
I need to process with God.
Yeah.
Like I, you know, and so I thinkthat, yeah, that too.
And, and I think also changing,you know, like I grew up in a,
(12:23):
Church culture was a little bitmore, conservative.
And prayers were like, this isjust part of being a Christian
and these are what you do.
But then changing that phrasefor me of, I don't, I don't have
to pray like I get to pray.
And how cool is that, that Iserve a God that actually
communicate, that communicateswith me And I get to and wants
(12:44):
to hear me.
Yeah.
And so it's not that I have to,I get to, and how amazing is
that?
Kimber (12:50):
I love that perspective because like if we are thinking
of it like a relationship, likewe would a friendship of course.
Like you would assume that yourfriend wants to talk to you
like,
Meghan (13:01):
yeah.
If
Kimber (13:02):
like that would
Meghan (13:02):
talk to
Kimber (13:03):
yeah, that would be the assumption.
And you know, say you talkingabout like processing with God,
I think that is something thathas.
Kept popping up recently in myconversations with people.
And so usually when that happensit's cuz the Lord's trying to
teach me something and it'slike, that would, that is such a
normal thing I think especiallyfor us as women.
Like, you know, we love toprocess with our girlfriends,
(13:25):
right?
At least like maybe, I don'tknow, I don't know a percentage,
but a lot of us, I feel likelove that.
Even me, I'm an internalprocessor and I still love to
like talk things out.
With my friends.
Right.
And I know, especially forexternal processors, that's a
huge help.
And so it's like, yeah.
Yeah.
And so, uh, one of my bestfriends is, we talk about this
all the time cuz she's such anexternal processor and so yeah.
(13:47):
It's like that is so natural forus, I think in our friendships.
And I think it's just, for me atleast, it's the challenge of, I
mean, God doesn't literally talkback most of the time, right?
Like I feel like the way that Ihear from the Holy Spirit is
usually through writing.
Like I journal a lot.
And so I feel like that is sortof a way where I feel like I can
(14:07):
have a dialogue with God, butit's still obviously totally
different than.
A relationship with a friend whois sitting across from you,
because I feel like I'm stillfiltering it or like processing
his response through my ownmind.
And so then it becomes, it canfeel untrustworthy, I think, or
just like uncertain.
And I'm like, did I hear itright?
(14:29):
Is that, is that what you said?
Is that like, does scriptureback that up?
You know, and that's a wholelearning curve right there.
Meghan (14:36):
Yes.
Yeah.
And not a bad thing.
Yeah.
Kimber (14:39):
Right.
It's good, but it, it'sdifferent than like talking to a
friend.
So how do you feel like youprocess with God?
Like what does that look likefor you?
Meghan (14:49):
Yeah.
Well, I am an externalprocessor, so I would, I would
say that this has been mybiggest challenge, one of my
biggest challenges.
Is the practice of going to Godbefore I go to someone else.
Um, because it is, it is mynatural tendency to pick up the
phone and call my friend, orcall my mom or call my husband
and be like, you know, oh mygosh, you know,
Kimber (15:09):
need to talk this out.
Meghan (15:10):
I need talk.
Um, And I, I literally have to,for a long time I had a little
thing on my mirror that said,have you prayed about it as much
as you've talked about it?
And I
Kimber (15:21):
Oh,
Meghan (15:21):
like a very like Christianese like thing
Kimber (15:25):
also sounds accurate, like to me.
Yeah.
Meghan (15:27):
very icu and because for me that it would be the last
thing I would do at sometimes,like
Kimber (15:34):
Eventually I would get to
Meghan (15:35):
And then I get to Jesus.
Yeah.
And it's like, mm.
And I got real convicted aboutthat.
Um, and so it is like I've, I'vegot it in my mind.
I mean, I, and I don't always, Imean it happens, but where I'm
like, have I actually stoppedand like really prayed about it
and not just like, do Jesus helpthe situation?
Okay.
Dial in front, you know, butlike, actually, um, yeah.
(15:56):
So that's been my, my achilleshealed in a lot of ways.
Um, and definitely grow anddefinitely growing in that.
But for me, my kids are in aolder, I'm in an older season of
motherhood stage, and so I'mable to have that quiet time
now.
And that is like where for me,I, I write, I have a prayer
journal and I write out myprayers and that's like my, like
(16:16):
really special time with theLord every morning.
And um, and then just throughoutthe day, like it's.
And it doesn't always get to bethis half an hour contending for
something, but just like, God,you know, I'm walking into a
meeting like, I need you to bemy words, you know?
Or I need you to help me withthis.
Or, you know, a parenting issueand I'm gonna have to walk into
(16:36):
a room with a hormonal teenager,like, God, give me the, like,
you know, it doesn't have to bethis like perfect environment,
but it is learning to practicehis presence daily for me, you
know?
Kimber (16:49):
Yeah, I feel like that's something that the season of
motherhood has.
Really helped me learn is themore like constant dialogue
because before I had my kiddo, Ireally loved like a long
morning, quiet time and thatwasn't always possible when I
was working as well.
But, um, if I had my like wayand I had like the day off, or
(17:11):
it was a weekend or something, Iwanted a long morning, quiet
time.
And when I was teaching, itbecame the same thing too, as it
has been in motherhood I feellike.
But it's like, um, I have likesmall moments and so it's that
more like constant dialogue andI feel like neither is.
Ideal by itself.
I think you need both.
Um,
Meghan (17:30):
both?
Yeah.
Kimber (17:31):
and so learning to carve out or like just finding time to
carve out a time for that, evenin this stage of life has been
just like a discipline I think.
Um, and so I think, you know,there's grace for that if, you
know, you don't have that forsure.
But I do see the benefit of thatlonger time as well, especially
(17:51):
at the beginning of the day.
I, I started doing that, um,back in the beginning of the
year.
I felt challenged to do that andI was like, I can't do it.
I'm such a bad mor, I'm not amorning person at all.
I was like, I can't do it.
I'm tired at night and I'm tiredin the morning.
I don't know what to do.
And, um, And I started, I justlike, was like, okay, I just
have to try it.
(18:11):
And I really have seen theblessings of that.
And so, so I'm like, but it'sstill a challenge every day.
But I, I am like, man, workingtowards both of those things
being true I think is such ablessing because, you know, if
we're talking about like arelationship.
man, we need, like with ourfriends, we need those like,
deep heart to heart moments.
(18:32):
Like I just took a girl's triprecently and like, you need that
kind of concentrated time withyour friends.
You need a girl's night here andthere.
Um, I think to have time to godeeper like that, but we also
wouldn't say probably that like,oh, I'm going to, you know, go
on a girls trip one weekend ayear, and then the rest of the
year I'm not gonna talk to themlike,
Meghan (18:53):
exactly.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
You've got your like deep,intentional, and then you've got
your like, you know, Hey, how'syour day?
Or just, you know, what'shappening?
Yeah.
When I was in high school, I hadsomeone, he was a, like a guest
pastor, come into our youthgroup and he said this phrase,
and honestly like, it's kind ofinteresting.
It's the one thing I rememberfrom high school youth group
(19:15):
that has stayed in my brain andhe said, I never pray for more
than five minutes, but I nevergo more than five minutes
without praying.
Kimber (19:23):
Interesting.
Meghan (19:25):
It was very in.
Like I've thought about that ofjust like that.
daily connection of like, thatconnection of I'm always having
a line of communication
Kimber (19:34):
Right?
Meghan (19:34):
to God, you know?
And uh, yeah, I thought that waskind of cool.
And, and there's grace for ourseasons because there's.
Kimber (19:40):
Yeah.
There
Meghan (19:41):
You know, we're all in different stages and it's
figuring out, you know, maybeit's listening to the Bible on
your drive to pick up, to go toCostco, pick up kids and, or
you've gotta, I used to leave myBible in the kitchen counter
when my kids were little becauseit would just be like, I just
read like a verse and kind ofmunch and walk, you know, and
I'm, and it was just kind ofvery short and sporadic.
(20:02):
But, you know, that's how Iwould try to do it.
And Yeah.
same as you.
My, I used to go to like wake upand I'd go straight to the gym.
In the mornings at like 5:00 AMand, and while that's not,
that's fine.
I was realizing that I wascoming home and I'd only have
like 15, 20 minutes to read theBible.
And I was feeling, and for me, II, I remember one morning I was
(20:23):
sitting there and I was prayingand I literally felt like the,
God was like, I feel like you'regiving me your leftovers.
Kimber (20:29):
Hmm.
Meghan (20:30):
Like that's kind of what for me.
And so I was like, all right, soI like adjusted that.
It's like, okay, so now it'squiet time and if I have time in
that morning, or I'm gonna haveto find another time during the
day to go to the gym.
Like that was a conviction forme that I
Kimber (20:43):
Yeah.
Meghan (20:44):
that priority first right now.
And, and I've seen so muchblessing come outta
Kimber (20:48):
Right.
I think that there is like, whenwe like try to obey in those
moments, in those ways, when wehear that prodding, um, I think
that the Lord's gonna honor thatfor sure.
This, this didn't continue, butfor the first two days that I
was trying to like get up earlyso that I could have quiet time
in the morning before.
The kiddo woke up.
Um, he slept so much later, and,and I, I was like, I was like,
(21:12):
okay, I can't think of this aslike a magic trick, but I did
feel like it was just a sweet,like, gift from the Lord that
was like Hey, like th yes.
Like, thank you for obeying.
Like I'm gonna honor this kindof, and so that was a blessing
to me.
And, yeah, didn't, didn'tcontinue, but, um, it was.
It was sweet because I feellike, yeah, it's, it's such a
(21:33):
relationship, not like alegalistic thing.
And when it's a relationship,like Yeah, of course you wanna
spend that time
Meghan (21:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kimber (21:40):
Yeah.
I, uh, was thinking with this,I'm like, okay, how does,
obviously we think of this ideaof growing in our prayer life
as.
Blessing us spiritually, likepersonally.
Um, but how do you see a strongprayer life, like a growing
prayer life with the Lord asblessing our friendships?
how does this growing connectionin a deeper relationship with
(22:02):
the Lord, how does that thenalmost seep out into our
relationships around us, do youthink?
Meghan (22:09):
Yeah, I think that, I know for me, when I am, get
drawing near to the Lord andinvesting in my relationship
with him, that he's gonna startmolding and growing and I'm
gonna start.
Having more joy and more peace.
And just like with anything,when you're doing this input,
there's gonna be an output.
And
Kimber (22:28):
Yeah.
Meghan (22:28):
is that output?
And it's showing joy to othersand forgiveness towards others
and grace and, self-control.
Like you're, you're gonna start
Kimber (22:37):
Yeah.
Those fruits of the spirit.
Meghan (22:39):
the fruits of the spirit.
are gonna start pouring outbecause you are going near to
the father and he's gonna startspeaking to you and.
Um, is it, you know, that verseout of the heart, the mouth
speaks, like that's what's gonnabe coming.
and there's so much beauty inthat, that, you know, we, when
you, get some exciting news,like you wanna share it, you
know, and so it's gonna be justthis, that's just the Holy
(23:02):
Spirit in us that makes us wantto show that and give that.
I know that for me, I, when myrelationship with the Lord.
if I haven't had that time withhim, or my prayer life hasn't
been that great, like I reallystart to notice that his voice
gets quieter and the enemy'svoice gets louder.
And that's where I start to kindof operate out of that.
Like insecurity or that fear offailure or that people pleasing
(23:25):
starts to kind of like, I startto see that shifting
Kimber (23:28):
Hmm.
Meghan (23:29):
I'm like, oh, why?
Why do I feel like I'm just, oh,I'm like, oh, I haven't been
Kimber (23:33):
Yeah.
Meghan (23:35):
Like, oh yeah.
I miss
Kimber (23:37):
I feel like, I feel like we think of them as separate a
lot of times, like ourrelationships with people and
our relationship with God.
But like, I feel like I talk alot around here about this idea
that like, Community in ourlives is like an outflow of our
relationship with the Lord.
And so that to me mirrors whatyou're saying with like the
fruits of the spirit, coming outof that closer relationship
because if we're, doingfriendship from a place that's
(24:00):
centered in the Lord.
Then it's like an outflow of thejoy and the peace and all that
stuff that he's given us in ourrelationship with him.
And so it's not so much that weget what we need from.
People around us, like our needsgetting met and stuff, but
rather like our needs are met bythe Lord relationally, and then
we can pour that out into thosearound us.
(24:21):
And so I love that kind of likeperspective shift.
I feel like that's been reallyhelpful for me in just
remembering like that whensomeone disappoints me in my
life or like I feel like they'renot being a very good friend to
me at that time or whateverthat.
my identity doesn't rest onthat.
Like my ability to love themwell, doesn't rest on how they
love me.
(24:41):
Like it is an outflow from myrelationship with God.
And so I feel like prayer I.
My prayer life with him isdirectly affecting my
friendships.
Then even though it, it seemslike maybe it would be
different, but because it'slike, what's the quality of my
well, like, you know,
Meghan (24:57):
Yeah.
Yeah.
what's my
Kimber (24:59):
poured out essentially?
Yeah.
And if it's, if it's like, youknow, a slow trickle, then I'm
not gonna have much to pour outinto loving my friends.
Well.
Um, and
Meghan (25:08):
yeah.
I love that.
That's really good.
Yeah, I, I read a PriscillaShire book once.
Um, I encourage everyone to,it's called The Armor of God
Bible Study, and it's so good.
And she has kind of an acronymfor prayer that I love.
And it's, um, so it's prayer andit's prayer releases all your
eternal resources.
And or no?
Yeah.
Prayer releases.
(25:29):
Yeah.
All your eternal, Yeah.
Kimber (25:30):
em.
Meghan (25:30):
um, I was like, I make sure
Kimber (25:32):
Did I spell it right?
Meghan (25:33):
did I spell it right?
Um, and so knowing that like wehave, because we're believers in
Christ, like we have all theseresources to be able to hear
from our father and be able tohave the Holy Spirit and the
fruits of the spirit, like thoseare all there.
And when we pray and we ask God,like, give me more of this, or I
wanna be.
More like you.
Like he, we have that already.
(25:54):
And then this is just, it's likethat amazing.
It's the mystery of it, of howwe already have it, but yet God
wants us to still ask for it,you know?
And
Kimber (26:05):
Mm-hmm.
Meghan (26:05):
yeah, like it's really, it's
Kimber (26:06):
like more of it to like show it, pour it out.
Yeah.
Hmm.
I love
Meghan (26:11):
Yeah.
I'm not sure how all that works,but
Kimber (26:13):
Yeah.
Well that's the mystery of itthat we get to talk to God
about.
Meghan (26:17):
Yeah, Yep.
Kimber (26:19):
So as we're like, we're thinking of in our own lives how
we can be this friend who likewants to grow in our prayer life
and is pursuing a deeperconnection with the Lord to
impact our friendships aroundus.
Um, with this idea that we'vebeen talking of, like looking
around in our lives for thesepeople around us that like are
(26:41):
showing these.
Qualities that we probably wannalean into those friendships a
little bit more.
What are, what do you think arelike some of those evidences
that we should watch for?
Like how can we start to noticethe people around us that are
pursuing this same kind of likerich prayer life with the Lord
as well?
Meghan (26:58):
Yeah, I think, um, one thing I've noticed is when
people just kind of step up oflike, why don't we pray for
that?
And there's kind of more bold inthat of like, all right, because
that was something that I wasreally good at my own.
Even being a very big extrovert,like doing that out loud was
really, Hard,
Kimber (27:15):
it is.
Yeah.
Meghan (27:16):
talking about it too, of like, I've been praying for
this, and there's just a,there's a, uh, verbal, I feel
like you talk about it, like I'mpraying for that, but I think
seeing it has been a big
Kimber (27:27):
Whether you, you right, you can say it, but does that
actually mean it's happening or,or just I think it like, It
builds up the body to like hearother people pray too.
Like that's why we praycorporately as well, I think.
Um, because it's encouraging.
Meghan (27:42):
Yeah.
But I think for me it's beennoticing that the, you know,
your people are expressedtalking about their prayer life,
but then I'm seeing it outflowinto how their relationships of
like, let's, let's just stop andpray.
Like, let's just stop and prayand like, okay.
You
Kimber (27:57):
Yeah.
Meghan (27:57):
awesome.
Kimber (27:58):
Mm-hmm.
I love that.
I feel like one that came tomind for me too, that same thing
I feel like is something that Ilove it when people do that, and
yet it feels hard, for sure.
But, I feel like it blesses meso much that it encourages me to
try to do that kind of thingtoo.
Um, and the other thing that I.
I was noticing or thinking aboutwith this is when people just
(28:19):
talk about what they weretalking to God about, like, and,
and, it's not, I feel like thisis a little bit of like a you
know, there's a way to do thisisn't like pretentious because I
feel like it could come acrossas like, Oh, well, when I was
praying for 10 hours yesterdayor whatever.
Meghan (28:38):
I had my fast and pray day.
Kimber (28:40):
Right.
Um, and we know that like, youknow, Jesus says to not like,
uh, be arrogant or, um, liketalk a lot about what we're
praying and.
You know, I think that's inMatthew, like seven or so where
he's like, don't you know, prayon the street corner like the
Pharisees do.
Instead go into your room andtalk to God who hears you.
Right?
(29:00):
So it's not so much that kind oftalk, but I think when, you
know, I'm talking especially tolike a close friend and it's
just like she's talking and it'sjust like, It's just part of
what she did.
So she's just telling me aboutit.
Like, well, I was talking to Godabout that and this is why it
came up in my mind.
Like it's just part of the morenatural, um, flow of your life.
And I feel like those are suchthe special relationships when
(29:21):
you can just flow in yourconversation in and out of
spiritual matters because it isjust that interwoven.
Into your friend's life and intoyour relationship even as
friends.
And so I feel like it encouragesme when I hear someone saying
that kind of thing, not in anarrogant way, but just in a
like, well, that's what I do, Ipray, and so I'm just telling
(29:43):
you about what I feel like Godsaid in relation to this other
thing we're talking about orwhatever.
Because then it just reminds methat, like that is, that
relationship is a safe place totalk about our relationship with
the Lord as though as just aslike we would another
friendship.
Right, because like if I'mtalking to someone and I'm like,
oh, my friend told me this theother day about this other thing
(30:04):
that I, you know, we wouldn'tthink twice about that.
Right.
But for some reason, sometimesit can feel weird to say things
like, well, when I was prayingthe other day, I feel like the
Lord said this this thing.
Like, sometimes that feelsuncomfortable a little bit.
And so I feel like therelationships where I can say
that kind of thing, or I havefriends say that kind of thing
to me, just out of authenticity,um, I know that that's like,
(30:25):
that's a special thing I think.
Meghan (30:27):
So good.
Yes, I agree 100%.
I love that.
Kimber (30:30):
Cool.
Well, um, as we're kind ofwrapping up here, um, I was
thinking, I was, I asked youabout this the other day, if you
would be up for this.
I feel like it would be reallyfun to end our talks this summer
in this series, um, with justlike a little bit of a practical
challenge.
So like, just to help ourfriends listening and me, cuz I
need this too, to like put thesethings that we're talking about
(30:52):
into practice.
You know, this idea of.
Be the friend you need.
Okay.
What's my next step to like, goout and try to put this into
practice?
So talking based on the thingslike we're talking about here
today with this idea of prayer.
what's your challenge for
Meghan (31:06):
Okay, so I have like two.
That's
Kimber (31:09):
I love it.
Two options or they have to doboth.
I'm just kidding.
Meghan (31:12):
I'd say option.
Well, it could be what you want.
If you wanna be a go-getter.
Go do both.
I think they're both good.
One is, the first one's gonna bekind of like the obvious one,
and that is, your challenge thisweek is to take it to God first.
Kimber (31:25):
Yeah.
I love
Meghan (31:26):
that.
when you feel that urge to.
Pick up the phone or like pauseand go, have I prayed about it
yet?
And that's not to say that youcannot externally process with
someone because I think thatthat is so important too.
So important, so good.
And like, yes.
And we need that because I'mhearing God's voice, even
(31:47):
through my friends and myhusband
Kimber (31:49):
Yeah.
Meghan (31:50):
too.
But the first place we go is ourbest friend and our father.
So when the next situation hits,Stop and pray and try to, yeah.
process with him first.
And the second one was to writeit down.
Like write.
Sometimes writing down ourprayers like that is something
for me that's been really good.
(32:10):
And it's so amazing to look backand go like, wow, this is where
I was at and this is what Godbrought me through, or he
answered that.
Or this is where I am stillneeding to pray over the
situation.
Um, so writing it down, even ifit's just on like a little.
Post It note, you know, justsomething,
Kimber (32:28):
I feel like that
Meghan (32:29):
me patience with my kids
Kimber (32:30):
right.
It helps like just mark it downand solidify it in our memory, I
think as a prayer.
Yeah.
I love
Meghan (32:37):
Yeah.
I couldn't
Kimber (32:38):
Oh, those are so good.
Meghan (32:38):
gonna do two challenges.
Kimber (32:40):
I think it's great.
I think it's great.
So Thank you for our challenges.
I will be trying to do thosethis week.
I actually have a prayer journalthat I got that's like a five
year prayer journal, and so youcan like, so you write on the
day and then each year it takesyou through, like it has the
five year spaces on the sameday.
It's by Hosanna revival.
(33:02):
Um, and.
I, I, I've used for a some, um,but I need to grow in, in my
using it.
There's opportunity for growth.
It's currently propping mycomputer up so that that's an
evidence that, um, there's someroom to grow there.
But I love the idea and so yourchallenge is hopefully gonna
help me get back in the
Meghan (33:21):
All right.
Kimber (33:22):
So I love it.
Good stuff.
Well, Megan, thanks so much forchatting with us today about
prayer and I'm excited to talknext week about intercession cuz
that's the other side of thiscoin and I feel like it's one
that we probably both love.
Meghan (33:39):
love.
Kimber (33:39):
So
Meghan (33:40):
Yeah,
Kimber (33:41):
cool.
Well, have a great day, Megan.
Meghan (33:42):
You too.
Kimber (33:43):
Bye friends.
Bye.
Friends.
I'm so glad you could join meand Megan on the show this week.
I love talking about prayertoday with you all.
And this is an area I'm reallywanting to grow in my life.
And so talking about is a keypart of that for me, maybe it is
(34:04):
for you too, but friend,remember that we can talk about
prayer all day, but until weactually start doing it with the
father, we're going to just saystuck, spinning our wheels.
So I hope you decide to takeMegan's challenge this week and
start putting these talks intopractice as you seek.
To grow closer to Jesus.
And if you're loving this seriesso far, would you tell a friend
(34:24):
about the podcast this week?
Just shoot her a DM with a postfrom social or a text or an
episode link with something likeI'm so excited for this new
series on the horses to Kimberpodcast.
And I'd love if you listened inand we can talk about it the
next time we hang out.
This is a great way to get thoseconversations going with your
friends, as you all seek to growin these areas together.
And I know how busy summer canget.
(34:46):
So make sure that you havesubscribed to the podcast
wherever you listen, so thatit'll automatically drop into
your feed and you won't miss anepisode.
You can also sign up to be partof my newsletter crew so that
you get a weekly previewdirectly to your email inbox of
what will be on the podcast thatweek.
Just visit your sisterkimber.com and subscribe there.
Friends.
(35:06):
Thank you so much for spendingpart of your day with us until
next time.
It's your sister Kimber.
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