August 16, 2023 • 51 mins
Kimber and series guest co-host Meghan Fravel dig into how our relationship with the Holy Spirit spills out into our friendships to bless them through the fruits of the Spirit as identified in Galatians 5:22-23. Listen in for a fresh look at this well-known passage.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kimber (00:09):
Hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimber Gilbert, andI'm so glad you're here today.
We are nearing the end of ourseries called being the friend
you need.
And I have loved sharing theseconversations.
With our summer guest.
Co-host Megan Freeville and youguys.
Today, we are talking about ourrelationship with the holy
spirit and how the fruit thatflows out from our lives.
(00:32):
When we draw closer to him.
Could flow out into ourfriendships to bless them as
well.
I wish that we could talk thisout across the table today with
maybe some steaming hot coffeein hand, but this is the next
best thing.
I'm so glad you hear friend.
Let's get started.
(00:52):
Hey friends.
Megan, welcome back to thepodcast.
We are wrapping up our summerseries today.
How are you doing?
I'm good.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm good.
Well, I said we're wrapping itup today.
I didn't mean we're wrapping itup today.
We're wrapping it up as werecord today.
Yes.
This is our last time recordingtogether.
We're recording this week's andnext week's episodes today, and
(01:15):
so it feels like kind of a, aclosure for us, which I'm sad.
I so loved, so loved talkingwith you this summer, but, um,
think it's been awesome.
I was thinking about, oh, likeI'm wrapping up our summer
series and I'm like, oh mygoodness, that means summer's
almost over.
I'm not ready for it.
Sean was saying, he said earliertoday, he's like, we'll need the
heat.
And like, like we were talkingabout something and he
(01:37):
referenced like, we'll need theheat in like a month or so, and
I was like, oh gosh.
Excuse me.
So how are you feeling about itbeing
Meghan (01:47):
August?
It's, I feel like it just camelike next.
So we start school, we startschool next week, like kids do,
and I'm just like, how did we,how did we get here?
I think part of it is, Summersin Alaska are just insane in
general.
But I also feel like with theweather this year, it's been so
weird and not like a summersummer that, yeah, I feel like
(02:08):
it shouldn't be August.
I don't know.
I'm trying to wrap my brainaround it.
I
Kimber (02:11):
feel like it, yeah, like we've had like maybe a month of
summer, which praise God, we'vebeen praying full series that
like Sun would come outeventually.
And it did like it.
It did.
It did.
We had a
Meghan (02:22):
solid, we had a solid week last
Kimber (02:24):
week.
Oh man.
But yeah, I found myselfthinking the other day, I was
like, oh my goodness, it'salready August and it feels like
it should be like early July,but I It
Meghan (02:34):
does, but it is what, it's so it goes, goes, but
there's excitement around thecorner, all the other things
that will
Kimber (02:39):
be coming, so.
Totally.
It's good.
Yeah.
Good stuff coming in the fall.
Well, yes.
Um, like I said, I've just hadso much fun chatting with you
this summer, Megan, and as wekind of go into our last few
episodes, I was just kind ofreflecting on like, you know
what I feel like.
Has stood out to me the mostthrough this series and what
I've enjoyed the most.
And, I, I don't think that I sawthis kind of coming when I
(03:02):
started this series, but I feellike it has been, such a good
reminder of how much like ourrelationship with Jesus and our
relationships with other people,like how really like connected
those things are.
And I think that's somethingthat kind of came outta this
series is the more we likefleshed it out.
And, um, I really lovedconsidering that just like how
(03:23):
much like Jesus' life has toteach us about like how to do
friendship And so that's beensomething that I've really
enjoyed reflecting on and I wasjust thinking about that the
other day as we were wrappingthis up.
I'm like, wow.
We're almost like to the end ofit, but of course that doesn't,
that those, that reflectiondoesn't have to stop here, but I
would love to hear what, whathave you most enjoyed about our
(03:43):
conversation so far this summer?
Oh, well first of
Meghan (03:46):
all, like, I love being on here, so thanks for having me
this summer.
It's been really fun just tohang with you a little bit
virtually.
It's been so good.
Kimber (03:53):
Um,
Meghan (03:53):
yeah.
Yeah, I would say pretty much onthe same thread as you.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I've really love that.
And just kind of breaking downjust so many of the different
areas of our lives that wemight, you know, like we're
talking about the Holy Spirittoday and how that sometimes can
feel separate from ourfriendships.
Like there's my relationshipwith God and my relationship
with people, but how much ofthat is just so like,
(04:14):
intertwined together?
So it's been really fun just tokind of break everything down
into little bits of just these,all these different areas of our
life and thread it, thread itthrough of what our relationship
with God is like, and how thatthreads through into our
friendships.
So,
Kimber (04:27):
Yeah, I really loved that.
I feel like it's, it's such anarea that like we don't
necessarily like, or like aconnection that we don't
necessarily think mm-hmm.
Of making, like you said, likethat we kind of think of them
separately.
Um, but yeah, I think when we dolike, kind of marry those ideas
that they do have a lot to teachus.
Mm-hmm.
Um, really about each other.
Like our friendships canreflect, Our relationship with
God and the potential there whenthey're at their best.
(04:49):
Right, definitely.
And then of course, ourrelationship with the Lord, when
that like comes into afriendship, I think it just
deepens it in really specialways.
So Yeah, I have, I have loved ittoo.
Well, like you said, yeah, we'retalking about the Holy Spirit
today, and we've talked aboutlike a bunch of these different
areas you know, like prayer andscripture and like all of these
different, aspects ofspirituality and how they relate
(05:11):
to our friendships.
And so of course the HolySpirit, like mm-hmm.
Big part of spirituality, um,can't not talk about that.
And as I was first thinkingabout this, I was like, I feel
like the connection is maybe notimmediately apparent, but then
once I started like getting intoit a little more, like digging
into this idea of like, how doesour relationship with the Holy
Spirit impact our actualfriendships?
(05:33):
I was like, oh my goodness,these are so connected.
And so that's what we're gonnakind of get into today.
I would love us just to kind ofstart out with.
Like, how would you characterizeyour relationship with the Holy
Spirit?
And I'll share a little bitabout kind of where I'm at in
this journey too, just so likeour friends listening kind of
know, where we're at.
Because I mean, this should be aparent.
(05:53):
Anyone who's listening topodcast for a hot minute, I'm
not an expert on much at all.
So not an expert here.
I hope they got, but, but I am,I am, uh, pursuing a de deeper
relationship with Holy Spirit.
Right?
Yeah.
And so I would love to hear foryou kind of what, how would you
characterize your relationshipwith him right now?
Yeah.
Meghan (06:10):
Oh, that's, I, well, I love that question.
'cause I'm like, oh, that's sucha good question to ask in this
time.
It was a hard question kind of.
It's, it was, I was like, ah,that was deep.
Um, so I wrote down, I said, um,my confidant, my friend, um, and
who I go to for peace anddiscernment and making the Holy
Spirit for me is that, Um, thatcompass of when I am, needing
(06:35):
direction when I need to justtalk to Jesus.
Mm-hmm.
Um, being able to access, theHoly Spirit.
Be able to hear from God in thatway.
and yeah, so that's kind of who,what, how, what I thought of, of
just that, that wise friendthat's gonna give you
Kimber (06:51):
Yeah.
The good stuff.
Well, I love, like yeah.
Those are like what comes tomind for you.
Those are all like relationalYeah.
Ideas like confidant and like,you know, wise direction and
stuff.
Mm-hmm.
That's all relational.
And so yeah.
We're talking about like arelationship here and we know
that like, you know, we have arelationship with Jesus, right.
But I think sometimes we don'talways think about the Holy
(07:13):
Spirit.
I would say, at least from mytradition, like background, I
would say of like the father,son, holy Spirit, I feel like my
relationship with the HolySpirit is the least close.
Okay.
Yeah.
And that's something that I justreally, um, I want to change
because I feel like you said,like the Holy Spirit can, you
(07:34):
know, does all those things inour relationship and, it's such
an important part of ourrelationship with God that it's
like, if it just gets kind offorgotten, I think we're missing
a lot Yeah.
Of the relationship there.
And so for me, I think that,fear and control has always been
kind of like my vice or thethings that I struggle with.
And so I think that those thingsin particular can like drown out
(07:58):
the voice of the Holy Spiritbecause it's like those things
can be a lot louder.
And so I've just been learningto listen, I would say, and
like, Make sure that that, thoselines of communication are open,
right?
Yeah, exactly.
And then you're actually likeyeah.
Building that relationship and,and learning to listen more.
So, yeah.
Meghan (08:16):
So yeah, I would say, and knowing his voice over the
enemies and Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
Kimber (08:20):
Yes.
Not only being able to hear it,but knowing what he sounds like.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I think that, yeah, it'sdefinitely like, been a good
journey for me, but definitelydoesn't come super natural, very
naturally supernaturally,supernaturally to me.
I wouldn't say so, but I'm so,yeah.
I, right.
(08:43):
I'm excited to, uh, I'm excitedto talk about this a little bit
more'cause Yeah, I think it,it's a cool, it's a cool
connection.
So if we're thinking of thisidea of friendship and like how
does my relationship with theHoly Spirit impact my
friendships, I think that whatcomes to mind for me is that so
much of how the Holy Spiritguides me is relationally to
(09:04):
those in my life, right?
Yes.
Like we know the Holy Spirit.
Like, there's lots of aspects ofhim, right?
He empowers us to like, havefaith and to mm-hmm.
You know, go on mission with theLord and stuff.
and he we're, we learn inscripture that the Holy Spirit
also like even gives us, like,the capacity to believe in
(09:24):
Jesus, right?
So like, there's those aspects,but I think also much of his
work in our lives is relational.
Like, I think of like, if I'm ina tough conversation with
someone, like I need to talk to'em about something that feels
really uncomfortable, like I'mtalking to the Holy Spirit to
guide me, right?
Like, what do I say?
How do I get through thisconversation?
Or like, A lot of times he'llput it like, on our hearts to
(09:47):
talk to someone or to meet aneed or serve someone.
Like, yeah, all of those thingsare relational.
Um, or not all of them, but alot of the things that I think
he does in our lives are aboutour relationships with people.
And so it seems to me that a lotof the Holy Spirit's work is
relating to friendship in mylife.
(10:08):
Um, do you see it that way too?
Or how do you feel like the holyour relationship with the Holy
Spirit might connect to our
friendships?
Meghan (10:15):
Yeah, no, I was gonna pretty much say the same thing
that, that you did, for sure.
Mm-hmm.
I think that, yeah, that'swhere, I need him to be
partnered with me in my life,you know?
And as a believer, like I havethe Holy Spirit, and so being
able to use that and hear hisvoice when I need to have those
hard conversations, or I needlike, To hear direction or
getting through something likebeing able to have him with me.
(10:39):
And that is so important.
And it also, like for me, takesaway that, or, you know, what I
hope it does is take away thatpart where it's not my words,
it's God's words coming out.
And I always feel like whenwe're, when we're taking that
time to like, God, I, I need youto speak through me and not just
what my flesh is feeling in thatmoment.
(11:00):
It's so important.
Um, and so I think thatobviously with our friendships
and it's, we're both believers,that's such a, like, important
part of that is,
Kimber (11:09):
Is accessing him.
So yeah, inviting him to guideus through that.
And yeah.
And the way you said that too,reminded me of what you said
earlier, the idea of a confidanttoo.
Like even as mm-hmm.
I experience like relationaltension and stuff, like going to
him instead of going to like,you know, whatever my vice is,
like social media or, you know,whatever, numbing out or
(11:29):
whatever.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And also
Meghan (11:31):
taking things back to him of like, someone, someone
approached me with somethinglike, yeah, I need to, like, is
this something that God'stelling me to do?
Yeah.
It's like
Kimber (11:41):
processing process.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm.
Yeah.
if we're like communicating withthe Holy Spirit about those
things, as like our closestconfidant that is going to be
better at the end, how I mightprocess otherwise I think.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
That's so good.
How do you feel like, so thenthe flip side of that I think
would be how are our friendshipsimpacted if we don't listen to
(12:04):
the Holy Spirit and obey him?
Like how, what do you see aslike kind of the negative side
there?
Like where if we're not likeleaning into our relationship
with him, how do you think ourfriendships suffer?
Well, I think then we're
Meghan (12:16):
leaning on ourselves and our own power, our own flesh in
what our feelings and opinionsare on the matter.
And that's never right, gonewell for
Kimber (12:27):
most of us.
Meghan (12:27):
Yeah.
Um, when I am speaking out ofjust my own sinful nature of.
This is how I feel and it's morelike me.
and so yeah, I think that has ahuge impact on our, on our
friendships when we're not, um,coming at it with like this love
of Christ.
And like I, I want to not embodyhim.
(12:48):
What's the word I'm looking for?
I want to like be like Jesus inthat moment.
Yeah.
And if I'm not Yeah, likereflect him sort of thing.
Yeah.
And ref Yes.
Reflect him.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Um, reflect him through that.
And when I'm not doing that,it's on my own strength, my own
right.
Wisdom, quote unquote, you know?
Yeah.
And instead a lot of times isisn't actually, was, isn't
actually what is.
(13:09):
Right.
So, yeah.
You
Kimber (13:11):
know, that makes me think of what we talked about a
lot at the beginning of thisseries.
Like, you know, it's not like Ineed friends who are pursuing
Jesus.
Not because like, you know, I, Ican't have friendships that.
Aren't.
That's a good thing is you know,to have friendships with people
who don't know the Lord that wemight be able to bring to him.
(13:33):
But like the closest people inmy life.
If I want to be like, receivingGodly wisdom from them and like,
having that kind of, like, ifI'm giving that kind of Holy
Spirit empowered advice or justlike even being a sounding board
that like reflects Christ'sheart and not just my, my own
(13:56):
like sinful, you know, kimber'sselfish heart kind of thing.
Right?
Like, if I wanna be that kind offriend, like those are the kind
of people I want in my life too.
Like when I come to my friendwith, you know, a, a challenge
or something, I want, I'mhoping, I'm praying that they
are like listening to the HolySpirit as they give me advice
and respond to me and listen.
And, um, man, when they, whenthat is true, when we're both, I
(14:18):
think trying to, listen to theHoly Spirit as we support each
other.
I think it's just, it's such,it's so much richer and yeah.
And better.
And it's not gonna be perfect Idon't think ever.
But No, it, you can tell thatit, like, it makes a difference
I think.
Yeah.
Meghan (14:35):
Oh, for sure.
Kimber (14:36):
Yeah, definitely.
So we both grew up in thenineties, right?
What year were you born?
Born?
Meghan (14:41):
Yes.
We did 87 year reveal.
Okay.
Yes.
87.
Okay.
I'll
Kimber (14:45):
be 36.
I'll be 91.
91 baby.
91.
Meghan (14:47):
Okay.
My brother's a 91 baby.
Oh,
Kimber (14:51):
yes, yes.
Um, I don't think I actuallyknew how old you were, so.
Yeah.
Um, I wasn't sure, but I prettysure I'll 36 in.
You mostly grew up in thenineties?
Yes.
Yes, I would.
Except for
Meghan (15:02):
your, yeah.
First
Kimber (15:03):
few years.
Infantile years.
Yes.
But I was thinking, as I wasthinking about this topic of the
Holy Spirit, um, it made methink of, did you have like a
t-shirt or something when youwere a kid that had the fruits
of the spirit on it?
Oh, I don't know.
You dunno.
(15:23):
Okay.
I don't know
Meghan (15:24):
if I had a lot of like salty over salty.
Where you just
Kimber (15:28):
The psalm little.
The little salter?
Yes.
And like mag
Meghan (15:33):
me, like I grew up on that.
Yes.
Like mag?
Yes.
Kimber (15:36):
Okay.
Oh my goodness.
I do remember.
I dunno if I did.
No, I don't know if did.
That's hilarious.
So if friends listening, if youdid not, um, grow up in the
church, you're probably veryconfused what we're saying.
Those were both what me, Meganmentioned there.
Salty and Mickey.
They were like littlechildren's.
I don't know, like cartoonfigures.
(15:56):
Oh.
That were like biblically basedor something.
But I was thinking about thisand I was like, I just
remembered like going to theChristian bookstore with my mom.
Mm-hmm.
And they would have all theselike, uh, t-shirt, like girls'
t-shirts, you know, or likeThat's funny.
The, the cups or journals orwhatever.
And I feel like so often it wasthe fruits of the spirit.
Yeah.
Meghan (16:17):
On these.
I'll have to ask my mom.
I'll be like, mom, I have arandom question.
Did I have a fruit of thespirit?
I guarantee that one.
These one, I remember theposters.
Kimber (16:24):
That's hilarious.
Oh yeah.
Posters.
That was a whole thing too.
Uh, so funny.
Yeah.
So either you're like, eitherfriends listening, you're like
us and you're like, oh my gosh,me too.
Or yeah.
Or you're just like laughing athow different our town's work.
Google.
Yes.
One of the two can go down.
Meghan (16:43):
Christian kid.
The hole
Kimber (16:44):
on Google.
I know.
Darn pack.
Definitely.
Yes.
Lots of, lots of good memoriesthere.
And not so good both.
Yes.
But um, all I had to say, like,I, I think that for me, at least
growing up in the church, thefruits of spirit are something
that was e is easy to latch ontoright.
I think.
(17:04):
And it's like easy to memorize,you know?
And, and they're all like, it'spositive, right?
Yes.
And there're things that likeyou want your kids to learn as
well, I suppose.
Yes.
Like, you know, love, greatthing.
Mm-hmm.
Kindness.
Right?
Um, but I think that this ideaof the fruits of the spirit is
so familiar to me from childhoodthat it's like I almost can't
(17:26):
even.
Like read them without like,like I can't hear them hardly
because it's so familiar.
You know, it's like when youjust know something so well and
you don't really like thinkabout what it means.
And so as I was kind of thinkingabout this, I was like, This is
what we're actually talkingabout here.
Like living with the HolySpirit, guiding our life is
(17:48):
going to produce these fruits orlike produce these qualities in
our lives and in ourrelationships, right?
Mm-hmm.
And so I would love today forthe rest of our time just to
kind of break these down in likehow we see the fruits of the
spirit displayed in ourfriendships specifically.
Mm-hmm.
And how this like walking withthe spirit relationally, can
(18:10):
actually like, bring thesefruits to our friendships, not
just to our like, personallives, which is how I've kind of
always thought of them.
So, okay.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say them,but I'm gonna say'em out of
order'cause that just, okay.
It's gonna kind of help me likeactually hear them and I don't
know if, um, would you say thisis like, Hard for you too, or do
you feel like fruits of thespirit, this is like something
(18:32):
that you can really, um, thatyou don't have that like tension
with?
Yeah.
I don't think I have thattension
Meghan (18:38):
with it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm so glad to hear that.
Yeah.
Kimber (18:41):
Yeah.
So yeah.
Friends listening if, but I
Meghan (18:43):
don't know if I could say it out of order.
I think that's weird.
Kimber (18:46):
Well, I wrote them down, so that helps me because
literally it's like I read themand I'm like, I like, I don't
know what it is about my brain,but it's just like, I can't
really think about themindividually'cause they're just
like a list in my head.
It's like a list.
Well, yes, I could see it list'sjust a personal quirk.
Meghan (19:03):
No, I could see it being a list.
'cause I wrote it down.
I did like a list.
Like, I'm like, love, joy,peace, patience, kind.
Like, I can't, like jumble.
It's weird.
Yeah.
So you can jumble it totally inmy head.
I can't, I I don't think I wouldget them all if I tried to
jumble it.
So maybe I do have a little bitof
Kimber (19:16):
fruit sauce here.
A little bit of, yeah.
Stuck of it.
So, okay.
So I'm gonna say out of orderand I'm trying to think of like,
how, Are they all relational?
Like do they all apply tofriendships?
And I think you're gonna findthat they do.
'cause that's what I wasfinding.
Yeah.
So like, for sure gentleness.
Let's start with gentleness.
Like, yeah, that's relational,right?
Like right in how I relate topeople.
Do I have gentleness?
(19:37):
Um, patience.
Yes.
Yes.
Relational, right?
Like joy.
I could see joy beingindividual, but definitely like
within ancient too.
Sure.
Yeah.
Um, we've got goodness.
Self-control.
Oh, I forgot.
Goodness.
Yeah, I did the right time.
Goodness.
Yeah.
I missed one.
Meghan (19:56):
Oh, skipped one.
Yeah, I missed one.
Kimber (20:00):
What does that mean?
My bad.
I don't know.
Just
Meghan (20:02):
kidding.
Just kidding.
Goodness of God.
Not
Kimber (20:04):
right.
Self-control though.
Like totally relational peace.
I was thinking about just likerelational peace, right?
Yeah.
Like that's something that weall want.
Um.
Love, of course, love forothers, obviously faithfulness
and kindness.
And so I think that as I waslike kind of thinking through
(20:25):
these, I'm like, wow.
Yeah.
Like I could totally see howeach of these applies to our
friendships and how we can seethese things growing.
And so, um, yeah.
Let's just kind of go througheach one real quick and just
talk about how we see the HolySpirit kind of growing this
fruit in our friendships.
Yes.
maybe even apart from just likehow it grows in us personally.
So, let's start with gentleness.
(20:46):
Um, how do you, how do you thinkgentleness can come up in our
friendships and when we'rewalking with the Holy Spirit?
How this gentleness can blessour friendships?
Yeah.
Meghan (20:58):
I put down, um, with gentleness to having grace for
others, um, being graceful andwith myself, you know, of being.
Yeah.
you know, we don't wanna beaggressive in our.
Approach and having thatgentleness, that understanding,
that grace for one another, Ithink is really important in our
friendships.
Um, yeah.
(21:18):
And when we, you know, when weall go through good seasons, bad
seasons, having that, thatgentleness, that person there,
that's just there, that kind ofconstant steady friend, like
steady
Kimber (21:28):
presence.
Yes.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I definitely thought of like theharsh judgment ideas.
Well, yeah.
Or like, you know, cuttingcomments like, you know, just in
my speech, like I feel like whenI'm you know, responding to
someone like we talked about outof like my own self versus like,
you know, how would I respond tothis harder situation?
(21:51):
Like with the spirit guiding me,like yeah, gentleness is gonna
come out, versus in my ownflesh, it's gonna probably be
like some sarcasm and some like,maybe sassiness, like cutting
comments, whatever.
Like I, I know that those are mynature.
And so, yeah, I think that inthe, in how I communicate and is
definitely one for me.
(22:11):
And then I love that idea oflike mm-hmm.
The gentle presence too.
Mm-hmm.
'cause we all probably have, Iknow I have a friend, have
friends who are that to me like,oh, 100%.
You know?
Yeah.
Yep.
And so I think we can all thinkof people like that probably.
And I think that's, yeah, that'sprobably a through the spirit.
Um, what about patience?
This one seems super easy to me.
(22:32):
Yeah.
Yes.
To see like the parallels.
What do you see here forpatients?
Yeah.
Meghan (22:37):
Um, being patient.
Kimber (22:40):
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
I think being with our friends,uh,
Meghan (22:43):
with our friends, like there's gonna be.
Times where we drive each othercrazy, you know?
Yeah.
And there's gonna be conflictand annoyances and things, and
or we are trying to, maybe wefeel like there's something in
their life, or maybe it's in ourlife that we need to be working
on, and we want to go faster.
(23:05):
You know?
Maybe you're like, get ittogether, friend.
Get it together.
Well come on, come on.
But it's not always like that,you know?
And so, being that, again, Ithink that also plays into a
gentleness of like, I'm gonnawalk alongside you and be
patient as I know you're seekingthe Lord on this.
so that's kind, that was kind ofwhat I,
Kimber (23:19):
I went towards.
Yeah.
I definitely thought of likealso that friend who's like kind
of hard to love, likechronically Oh yeah.
Hard to love.
Like we call that
Meghan (23:28):
E G R E G R.
Extra grace required.
Kimber (23:31):
Extra grace required.
Yes.
That came up actually the otherday.
Someone I was talking to aswell.
I learned that first back inyouth ministry eon ago and Oh,
okay.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, you need it there, but youneed it in your friendships too.
That's true.
Because there's just, yeah.
Like there's just seasons, somefriendships where Yeah, it, I
think it requires patience tolove them well.
(23:54):
Mm-hmm.
And I know that I don't usuallyhave that on my own.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's absolutelysomething that I think the
spirit can guide us in and thatwe can like ask for more of.
I think too, like if we'restruggling with a friend,
Sometimes I think that, youknow, it's just like, I feel
this obligation to someone andI'm like, I know I need to love
them well, but oh, I just like,don't want to, it's hard, you
(24:17):
know?
I think that there's,opportunity there to pray and
ask the Holy Spirit to likeenrich our capacity for patients
for that friendship becausethat's so good.
Like if, you know, if we arejust in the world, like you just
drop people like that.
Yeah.
You know, canceled.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I just, uh, you know, thatdoesn't mean that there's not
(24:38):
times for friendships to have,you know, right.
Seasons and stuff.
I'm not talking about that kindaa situation really.
I'm talking about the one wherelike, you know, that you have a
commitment to them, but Yes.
Yeah, it stuck.
Meghan (24:49):
Yeah.
But it's hard.
Yeah, absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
I think that's good.
Kimber (24:53):
So what about Joy?
How do you see Joy coming intoour friendships when it's from
the Holy Spirit?
Meghan (24:58):
Yeah, I think for joy, I thought of just that deep, like
kind of goes into love a littlebit like that deep love and
faithfulness and there's justthat joy of the lord presence in
your friendship.
Yeah.
Where you get to just, um, bewho you are, your sisters in
Christ, your friends.
Yeah.
And there's just that, that.
(25:19):
I just saw like this cup likerunning over of just Yeah.
The fun and the silliness and,um, but just that joy that we
get from having joy in the Lordthat we get to express to our
friends too.
Yeah.
Um, and it overflowing into
Kimber (25:32):
that.
So I love that image of theoverflowing cup.
Yeah.
I feel like that's somethingthat, like we talk about a lot
here at the podcast of like, youknow, if our, like, well in our
hearts, like, um, you know, likethe metaphor of a a well in the
ground is like our relationshipwith the Lord, then that spills
out into community in our lives.
(25:53):
And it's that same, that sameidea that you're talking about
there.
Yeah.
It's like that joy can is can bepart of what spills out there.
Um, I was thinking of too, justlike you knowing I was gonna
talk to you about this, like Ifeel like you're someone who
just loves to have fun.
Which sucks.
Like, would you, like, would youagree with that?
Like I would say yes.
(26:13):
Yeah.
And I think that's such, that isa fruit of the spirit, like when
we just are people who love tolike experience joy with other
people.
Yeah.
I think that that is, that isevidence of like the character
of God because God is, Likeexist in community, right?
Yeah.
And like, he made us to be incommunity with him too.
And so I think that when webring that kind of joy to our
(26:36):
friendships, it just likedelights in, like having fun
with our people.
Yes.
I think that, that that evidenceis the Lord.
And we maybe don't always thinkabout that.
No, it's true.
And um, like
Meghan (26:46):
side note, when we were watching the Chosen, um, like I
loved, there was quite a fewscenes where Jesus is just like
this super joyful, just havingfun and being silly,
Kimber (26:56):
just have fun together.
Mm-hmm.
And
Meghan (26:58):
I think that so many times we disconnect that of
like, he was still human and hadall those like,
Kimber (27:04):
like he was just somber walking around all the time or
something.
Yeah.
Like, you know,
Meghan (27:07):
but like, he was joking around, you know, and I mean, I
know like, it's not verbatimlike, you know, but I know
that's how he was, you know, hewas,'cause he still had that.
So, um, yeah.
So that.
Kimber (27:18):
I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think that the joy of the Lordidea is totally, it's totally in
scripture, I think, but I thinkthat we just don't always notice
it because mm-hmm.
It's not like it's hard toevidence joy through just like
articulating things thathappened.
Right, right.
Like, it's much more of a kindof emotional response.
(27:39):
And I think if the, this istotally a sidebar too.
I think if the Bible waswritten, by like a 21st century
western American writer today,it would have so much in it
about like, you know, ouremotional response.
Like yes.
Jesus's emotions and like howdid he feel in this moment?
You know, and how the discipleswere.
(27:59):
Right.
And that's what you see comingthrough in the chosen, because
it's from, like, it's being,it's a story told from our
perspective, how we tell
Meghan (28:06):
stories.
Yes, yes.
These days.
Kimber (28:09):
And in our culture.
But like Hebrew thought theydidn't tell stories that way.
That's not how they focusedtheir stories.
It was so much more like eventdriven and like minimalistic.
Like they mm-hmm.
Whatever they assumed you knew,they, they weren't gonna repeat
it.
So, so it's just like such adifferent storytelling style.
So I think if you look reallyclosely in scripture, you can
see the things that point tothat.
(28:31):
But yeah, you have to lookclosely.
And that is something that Ienjoy about the chosen too.
'cause I think it highlightsthose things that, like he was
human, of course he had, he washuman and
Meghan (28:39):
so yes.
Just that relational part.
Yeah.
Kimber (28:42):
Yeah.
I love it.
Well, uh, what about, goodness,this is the one you forgot.
It's what I forgot.
Meghan (28:48):
So I'm like, uh, on the fly here,
Kimber (28:51):
how do I speak?
So what I thought of withgoodness, and then see what
comes to mind for you.
I just think of like, if theHoly Spirit inspires and wells
up goodness in our lives, andthat is what pours out, then I
think that that is gonna belike, that looks like blessing
our friends like yes, withgoodness.
So it's like pursuing holinessand pursuing what is good with
(29:15):
people in our lives.
And it made me think of justlike, I think so often,
especially in like, well, Ithink it happens in male
friendships too, but in femalefriendships.
I think that the world is such,it shows us this, i this picture
in like media and stuff offemale friendship that it's just
like, you know, girls likegossiping and like, being catty
(29:38):
about people or like, I don'tknow, like just reveling in
things that like are not good.
Um, yeah, and it being likethat, that's the basis of female
friendship and I don't thinkthat that.
Is true.
I don't think that that has tobe that way.
Like, we can celebrate goodnessand like the good things in this
(30:01):
world with our friends, and likethat is enough to like build a
relationship on Yes.
Like we don't have to like, youknow, like binge bridgeton
together to like have somethingto talk about which, right.
Great story.
But like, but like, we don'thave to like just get into
things that don't honor God tohave stuff to talk about or
(30:23):
things to do as friends.
Like we can celebrate and andengage in things that are good,
that are, is Yeah.
You know, that honor God andhave lots of goodness come out
of our friendships from that.
And so, yeah, I think it's justlike this idea that What flows
out into our friendships andhaving a different expectation
(30:45):
than what the world does withthat sort of, yeah.
So what do you see that's good?
Meghan (30:51):
Goodness.
I was thinking of that song,like I just kept hearing that
song, like, I will sing in theGoodness of God, you know?
And, um, that song, I love thatsong.
And for me it's more of like,God wants good things for us.
Hmm.
That doesn't always mean that atthe time.
It feels good to us in themoment.
Yeah.
(31:11):
Um, that's good, good reminder.
But he, but he, he, but hedoesn't sees good in that.
And I feel like withfriendships, like that's kinda
where I was going, is that myfriends, my friends that are
faithful and that are seekingthe Holy Spirit, seeking the
Lord.
Like they want good things forme because God wants good things
for me.
And that's not always, know,that sometimes comes with hard
(31:34):
conversations But their heartbehind it is one of goodness.
You know, in those moments.
Yeah, totally.
So that's, that's kind of wheremy brain went of just I love
that.
Yeah.
Kimber (31:43):
Like even just the hard things that we go through in our
relationships or individuallythat God will bring good out of
that.
He'll
Meghan (31:50):
good at that.
And, and then our friends wantthat too, you know?
Kimber (31:52):
Yeah, absolutely.
So that's a good one.
Yeah.
Okay, next up, I'm making youlike, jump around.
Is it like, really it's right.
Emphasizing your brain, it'sboop, boop, boop.
Yeah.
Meghan (32:02):
Jump around.
Yeah.
Kimber (32:05):
Okay.
What about self-control?
Let's go to the end.
So how you see that one comingup again?
One, I feel like that,
Meghan (32:12):
yes, my whole, I need my Holy Spirit filter or, you know,
like Right.
Keep my, keep my Jesus on.
So I throw when, yeah, like good
Kimber (32:18):
old Amanda Cook, keep my Jesus on, keep my Jesus on, um,
Meghan (32:23):
when to speak and when not to, would be my
self-control.
Mm-hmm.
Like there are.
There's gonna be things in, youknow, that I might wanna say,
but in that moment, is thatreally what God wants me to say?
Is that even from God in thatmoment, is it the time where I
just need to be praying throughthis situation and come back to
it another time with thatfriend?
Or is it in, you know, likethere's so many layers to it,
(32:45):
but it's that when do I close mymouth?
When do I Yes.
Step back and pray.
When do I speak is like, that'smy, you know, self-control.
Kimber (32:54):
Everything I was thinking was tame the tongue
too.
Okay.
Meghan (32:57):
Yeah.
Tame the tongue.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
'cause it is so easy and we all,we all don't do that all the
time.
Like, we're gonna slip up.
Mm-hmm.
And, but I also think part ofthat self-control is then going
back and then being like, Iprobably said something I would
shouldn't have said, you know?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
and on that, like no of that is,recognizing like even though we
(33:18):
have the Holy Spirit, we are notthe Holy Spirit.
For
Kimber (33:21):
our friends.
Yes.
That's so good.
Meghan (33:24):
And so I think that kind of ties into a little bit of
Yeah.
Kimber (33:28):
That is such a key dynamic shift that mm-hmm We
have the Holy Spirit, but we arenot our friend's.
Holy Spirit.
Yeah.
And so there are times when we,many times I think probably more
plentiful times than when wespeak, when he asks us to
actually like speak into asituation where we pray for them
(33:50):
or you know, we.
Man, hold back what we Yeah.
What we wish we could saybecause yeah, that's not our job
to Right.
To convict.
Right?
Yes.
Um, yeah.
Yeah.
Such a good reminder.
Oh, and like a hard dynamic,that one.
It's hard.
Yeah.
That one was a reallyrevolutionary concept in
marriage for me was like, yeah,I can like challenge at times or
(34:16):
like maybe at times, you know,like speak some truth when it's
like, when it's gonna bereceived, um, or it's invited.
But a lot of times my job isprobably just to pray mm-hmm.
And allow the Holy Spirit to dothe work of convicting.
Yeah.
Um, because that's a lot oftimes it just isn't received
from us Well and Right.
(34:37):
In marriage or, and friendship.
And that's because it's not ourjob.
Yep.
To Yep.
To bring that away.
So yeah.
I love that reminder.
That's really good.
Um, what about peace?
How do you see peace from theHoly Spirit impacting our
friendships?
Mm-hmm.
Meghan (34:52):
I actually didn't have write one down for that one.
Um, yeah, I was trying, I wasstill thinking through that
Kimber (34:57):
one.
Um, yeah, I think what comes tomind for me is just like the
idea of relational peace.
Yeah.
Like, you know, when we're likein conflict with our
friendships, I think that a lotof times the world's idea of
peace in friendship, comes outas just never arguing or Yes.
Never fighting or never havingconflict.
(35:18):
Mm-hmm.
Um, or if we do, then you try torestore peace by like either
acting like it didn't happen orby ending that friendship like
Yeah, that's true.
and those kind of things havehappened in my life.
I'm not great at handling those.
In fact, I'm working on that asa person.
But like, I think that.
When the Holy Spirit can workthrough our relationships to
(35:39):
bring peace.
It's not always gonna look likejust no conflict ever happening,
but how do we walk throughconflict without it like ruining
our lives or like crushing ouridentity or, blowing up every
other relationship in our lifetoo, right?
Like that kind of peace that hecan bring to us, that our
(36:01):
identity is secure in the Lord.
And even when we have relationalconflict that like we can honor
him through that and honor eachother, like, oh man, that's so
hard.
That's,
Meghan (36:09):
that's so, yeah.
That's
so
Kimber (36:10):
good.
That's a whole tough thing.
But I do think that that's likemaybe where the Holy Spirit can
speak into that.
Meghan (36:16):
Yeah.
No, I love that.
That's, that's 100% true, therelational piece.
mm-hmm.
And it's true because ourculture is so much of don't rock
the boat, don't say anything.
Right.
Just.
stuff it and end up ghosting,you know, or whatever.
Right, right.
Um, but there's so much peacethat's brought when we are just
open and honest and have thoseconflicts like that, that's a
(36:38):
good friend.
That's a good friend.
You know, that's gonna, yeah.
That wants that peace.
Because sometimes we might thinkit's fine, but they've got like
this inner turmoil happening,like their heart's not at peace.
Right?
Yes.
You know, and so being able towork that out, so we're both
feeling good.
That's the kind of piece that,yeah.
Kimber (36:55):
That we, we need in our relationships.
Yeah.
It's that difference between,like, we think that peace is
just like smooth waters, right?
As opposed to like, peace is notjust like above the surface.
Like Right.
Peace should, could, can andshould like infiltrate our whole
lives.
So conflict actually givesopportunity to like, or peace.
(37:15):
Yeah.
Bring true peace.
Yeah.
Meghan (37:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Love that.
Kimber (37:19):
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Love that.
Yeah.
That's a tough one.
I think.
I think that's probably one ofthe, one of the hardest ones,
um, at least in my life, uh, toallow the Holy Spirit into, um,
just because.
it's just really messy and, andtough and counter, I think, too.
Mm-hmm.
No, yeah.
I agree.
Um, what about love?
How do you see, just like, lovefrom the Holy Spirit, uh mm-hmm.
(37:41):
Affecting our friendships?
Yeah.
Meghan (37:43):
Well, I think that even our culture has a, the
definition of love is not, itkind of ties in with peace of,
you know, well when the feelingsgo away, when this is, um,
Kimber (37:52):
yeah.
Feeling versus choice based,
Meghan (37:54):
right?
Feeling versus choice.
And there's gonna be times whereI might not like my friend, but
I love my friend, you know that.
And
Kimber (38:02):
that is like not a concept to the world, right?
Like, No.
If I don't like them, then theyshouldn't, they're not my
Meghan (38:08):
friend anymore.
Right.
Exactly.
Kimber (38:10):
And yeah.
Yeah.
But I think that that is, thatshould be true.
Yeah.
Meghan (38:16):
But it's hard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is very hard.
No, it's very hard.
And so that, but that love, likethat's a supernatural thing from
the Lord to, yes.
To keep loving the unlovable,you know?
And I am unlovable at timesmm-hmm.
And people not quitting on me,um, in those moments or vice
versa.
So
Kimber (38:33):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought of just like that ideaof like self-centered
friendships versus likeselflessness in friendships is
like a side of that too.
Because if, if I just have likeself-centered love in my
friendships that's like not fromthe Lord, then that is just
based on like affection orRight.
(38:55):
What they can do for me or howthey make me feel like you're
saying.
But when When it's the fruit ofthe spirit kinda love, like
going out into our friendships,I think that's going to be less
me focused and more othersfocused.
Yeah.
And so I think that when westart to see those, those traits
(39:15):
in our friendships of like, oh,like, I'm not thinking about
myself as much as, you know, I'mthinking about, well how does
this, you know, impact thisfriendship?
Or, you know, how do my wordsnot only like say what I think,
but how are, how is it gonnamake my friend, you know, feel,
and how are they gonna receiveit?
Is it gonna build them up andedify them or tear them down?
(39:36):
Like, yeah, like that's, I thinkthe love from the Holy Spirit
that's being evidenced in ourrelationships as well.
Meghan (39:44):
Yeah, no, for sure.
Kimber (39:45):
That's good.
All right.
We got two more faithfulness.
Two more.
Okay.
Let's start with which this ideaof faithfulness is interesting
to me.
I was just writing about thisthe other day and it's like,
it's this idea of like fidelityor like, you know, sticking with
mm-hmm.
With something and like truth,uh, which I think is just like
(40:06):
such a lost concept Yeah.
In our world today.
And so I thought of it from thislens of like, sticking with
people, um, even when they'rehard or when we're not feeling
it or we're tired or whatever.
Um, and just being like friendswho are faithful to each other.
Yeah.
Um, and to our commitments to,to like carry one another's
(40:28):
burdens and walk with eachother.
Um, how do you see faithfulnesscoming in?
Yeah.
Meghan (40:33):
Um, so no, I, I brought down pretty much the same thing
of mm-hmm.
Um, Choosing to stay when it'seasy to walk away or, through
the good seasons and the badseasons that we're all gonna go
through.
Um, being that friend thatsticks closer than a brother.
Yeah.
Um, I just think of like, we've,we give God a thousand reasons a
(40:53):
day to why he would not wannahave any relationship with us or
whatever, but he doesn't leave,you know?
Yeah.
He's faithful and loves us.
Kind of a terrible friend toYes.
And yeah, I'm not, not always agood friend at odd, for sure.
Yeah.
Um, but he stays and he lovesand, um, and doesn't leave.
And is that, that loyal friendand so Praise God.
(41:16):
Um, yeah, exactly.
Kimber (41:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So good.
All right.
What about kindness?
That's their last one.
Meghan (41:23):
Yeah.
Well, I think that kind of eventies into, gentleness a little
bit of Yeah.
Um, Yeah.
There's gonna be people in ourlife that are the extra grace
acquired and being kind.
Yeah.
And that self-control.
And so I think that ties in kindof for me the same way.
Kimber (41:37):
Yeah.
Just being like, I thought ofgrace as well, and like Yeah.
Being that friend that like usesmy words and actions for
kindness.
Mm-hmm.
And not for like, you know,building myself up or gaining
like power in the relationship.
Yeah.
Or like control in therelationship, but just like
acting out of kindness.
(41:59):
And I think that's, kindness isanother word that is super
overused in our, actually,we're, we're just so familiar
with it.
Yeah.
Meghan (42:05):
As we're talking, I'm like, all I keep thinking about
is like all the Be kind shirts,like that's a word that our
culture is like very much aboutright now.
Which is a good thing.
It's not a bad thing.
Totally.
Um, so as you're talking, what Iwas thinking of, like, that's
kind of our, maybe our first.
Invitation, invitation to peoplethat maybe don't know Jesus is
like, yeah, our ki is ourkindness.
(42:27):
Kindness, you know, I love that.
Um, and so, whether it's beingkind to the waitress that's gi,
you know, taking your order orthe people that you're checking
out your groceries, like justbeing kind is that speaks so
much Jesus to people sometimesthan anything else.
Um, and so that, I think thatkind of is that gateway to.
(42:48):
What's different about thisperson?
Yeah.
Do you know?
Yeah,
Kimber (42:51):
I totally agree with you that kindness is something that
is becoming a bigger thing inour culture right now, which
praise God.
Like I think that that is, yeah.
that is him moving and, and Ithink that's super cool.
I, it makes me remember when Iwas first, um, when I was first
teaching high school, I hadthis, uh, hoodie that I would
wear on Fridays, and it saidkind is the new Cool.
(43:14):
Yes.
And I, I loved that because Ithink it's just good to
encourage kindness when youteach freshman.
Um, but also because I do thinkthat it's true that like, that's
something that Gen Z I thinkexhibits beautifully is that
kindness is a higher priority inour schools right now.
(43:37):
What I see, what I saw when Iwas in there a few, just few
years ago, kindness is a higher.
Priority than coolness.
I think in many, many, manysituations more than when I was
in school.
Oh, 100% think coolness was the,the higher priority than
kindness.
I
Meghan (43:54):
tell my kids all the time as a sidebar, I'm like, the
stuff that like happened to meor what happened to other kids
at school would not fly for halfa second.
Yeah.
You know?
Right.
Because
Kimber (44:04):
it's, people are much more like, yeah.
They're, they're kinder.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know if they'rekinder.
Yeah.
They, it's like the socialstandard more so it's the social
Meghan (44:11):
than it was.
Yes.
It was clicky and being cool andbeing all that.
And I don't feel like that's theYeah.
I agree with you.
Kimber (44:18):
Which is good.
And so like, I think, yeah, Ithink it's great.
I think that that is like, youknow, yeah.
Praise God.
Um, yeah.
And I think that we can leaninto that, like Yeah.
You know, in our friendshipsand, and remember that like,
that kindness is, should be moreof a defining factor in how we
relate to people than, theircharisma or their, you know,
(44:39):
yeah.
Ability to like, make us lookbetter or, you know, whatever.
And I think, I don't know, maybethat's something that, that like
the Lord is bringing out in, inthe generation right now.
Yeah.
Um, to his glory.
And I praise him for that.
'cause I think that that is somuch, it's better.
It's better than it was.
There are other problems ofcourse, but for sure.
Yes.
But I think that that's, that'san aspect that, um, is doing
(45:01):
well, I feel like.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
For sure.
I love it.
I love it.
Awesome.
So, okay, as we kind of wrap uphere, what would you say of all
the fruits of the spirit mm-hmmUm, where do you think that the
Holy Spirit is like reallyworking on you the most in your
relationships right now?
I am gonna say patience.
I'm really getting in yourbusiness today.
You are.
(45:22):
I
Meghan (45:22):
love it.
Kimber (45:24):
I realize like that and the other Holy Spirit, it's like
very personal.
Let's do
Meghan (45:30):
it.
We're friends.
We're all friends here.
Um, great.
Yeah.
I'm gonna say patience.
Is kind of the one that sticksout with for me right now of,
need people to be patient withme.
I need to be patient with someother people in my life right
now.
Yeah.
Um, and so again, like that,it's not my job to convict.
(45:53):
That's God's job.
And so that requires like a stepback, you know, and things maybe
not always going the way I wouldwant them to go, um mm-hmm.
Or how I see fit for it, butthat, that's not my job.
Like, that's where I just haveto just lay it at God's feet and
be like, you do what you willwith that.
Um, that's so good.
yeah.
So I'm gonna say patience.
Kimber (46:15):
Yeah.
I think for me, I would say thatgentleness, like mm-hmm.
Man, as we're going through thelist, I just feel like that has
been something that God hasreally been, that we really
taught me.
I think as we moved away and wewere, Just like kind of, you
know, when you get pulled awayfrom certain relationships, I
think that you get perspective.
And when we moved away, I thinkthat he just showed me a lot of
(46:39):
ways that like I just, you know,had to grow.
And I think that was one of theways, like, I think I can be a
pretty like, um, just like brashor like, I don't think things
through always kind of person.
And I feel like the Lord isgrowing in me, that like gentle
and quiet spirit that, you know,Peter talks about.
And, I think we think of thatsometimes as like, oh, us, you
(47:01):
know, like women aren't supposedto say anything or something
silly like that.
But I think it's just more like,I know it's just like, We read
that and we're like, gentle andquiet spirit.
Ew, gross.
Like gross oppression.
It's like,
Meghan (47:13):
it's like the, the Jimmy uh, Jimmy found, Ew.
Kimber (47:16):
Lemme see.
Yeah.
Ew.
Yes.
We think like, oh no, I'm beingsilenced.
But I, I think, I think that'snot, I think that's not like the
heart behind it.
I think the heart behind it islike that gentleness and like
patience, listening, likeself-control.
Those are fruits of the spirit.
(47:37):
Yes.
Yeah.
And those can come out in ourrelationships and how we relate
to people.
In ways that are unique towomen.
And um, exactly.
That's what I was gonna say.
And I think that, yeah.
I think that when they do, Ithink that it really is gonna
bless people in our lives.
Yeah.
And so anyway, I think that thatis, yeah, I agree.
The gentleness is one way.
He's good.
(47:57):
Well, I love that.
Um, we've been ending with, achallenge Yes.
To put these things into action.
Um, I can talk all day, but thepracticality is something that
is so helpful for me when it'slike, okay, here's how I can
begin, like taking a step inthis in my life.
Yeah.
So how do you see ourrelationship with the Holy
Spirit flowing out into ourfriendships Yeah.
(48:18):
Um, as being practical in ourlives potentially
Meghan (48:21):
this week?
Yeah.
So I wrote down, take time totalk to the Lord as a friend, as
a challenge of how does it looklike to, um, really spend time
with him as your friend and notjust like, God, I need this.
Or it's just very like, youknow, I that, yeah.
Not liturgical, but just like,God, like what do I do?
(48:41):
Like just having that freedom toexpress what you need to express
the way that you would mm-hmm.
With a girlfriend for a co Yeah.
Across from coffee.
Like if it's crying, if it'sgetting angry for a minute, if
it's whatever it is, like beingable to just see him as your
friend, yeah.
And have that conversation.
And knowing that he, that's whathe wants.
Like he wants you to come to himas a friend.
(49:03):
Um, He craves that relationshipjust as much as I think we do.
We just, it just feels weird andawkward to Yeah.
maybe at first to do that.
Right.
So that was, that's my challengethis week.
Kimber (49:13):
I love it.
I love it because it's like, I,I feel like we say this a lot
around, but this is like theaspect that, uh, our friendships
can teach us about arelationship with God, because
we would never expect like afriendship to flourish if we
literally just like asked themfor stuff all the time.
Right.
Like, and that was just, butthat was it.
(49:34):
You know, like, yeah, yeah,yeah.
If I have a friend who I onlycall when I need something,
yeah.
Meghan (49:38):
That's not gonna go very
Kimber (49:39):
far.
Yeah.
They're gonna pick up on thatstuff.
They're right.
Oh yeah.
And it's gonna.
It's gonna get old and it's onesided.
Yeah.
And like, pray again, praise Godthat he is not like us in that
way.
Like he has an ending grace forus as we do that.
Yes.
To him.
But it's not gonna build arelationship in the same way.
(49:59):
It's not gonna build closenessand intimacy and like, and these
fruits of the spirit in ourlives in the same way when
that's how we relate to him.
So, exactly.
Yeah.
I think that is a, a wonderfulchallenge for us today.
Thank you.
Cool.
Yeah.
Aw.
Well thank you so much forhanging out with us today,
friends, listening, and Meganfor being here.
Um, man, I just pray that thisgets your gears turning on, you
(50:23):
know, how is the Holy Spiritlike pouring out, flowing out
that cup overflowing into myfriendships Yeah.
As we're pursuing a deeperrelationship with him.
So thank you so much, Megan, forchatting with us today.
Of course.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, well we love you guys.
Have a great day.
Bye.
Bye.
(50:44):
Friends.
I am so glad that you could joinme and Megan on the show this
week.
And I loved looking at thesefruits of the spirit and how we
can see them blessing ourfriendships.
When we are leaning into ourrelationship with him.
If you have loved this series,would you tell a friend about
the podcast this week?
Just shoot her a DM with a postfrom social or a text, her and
(51:04):
episode link and ask if shelistens so that you guys can
talk about it.
The next time you hang out.
My prayer for this series isthat it not only gets you
thinking, but that it gets youengaging in these kinds of
conversations with your ownfriends on your couch or across
the table from them or on yournext hike.
And because I know how busysummer can get as you're out
doing all those things as summercomes to a close, make sure that
(51:27):
you've subscribed to the podcastwherever you listen, so that you
don't miss an episode.
You can also sign up to part inmy newsletter crews so that you
get a weekly preview directly toyour email inbox of what will be
on the podcast that week.
Just visit your sisterkimber.com and you can subscribe
there.
Friends.
Thank you so much for spendingpart of your day with us until
next time.
It's your sister Kimber.
Hey friends.
Welcome to the, your sisterKimber podcast.
My name is Kimber Gilbert, andI'm so glad you're here today.
We are nearing the end of ourseries called being the friend
you need.
And I have loved sharing theseconversations.
With our summer guest.
Co-host Megan Freeville and youguys.
Today, we are talking about ourrelationship with the holy
spirit and how the fruit thatflows out from our lives.
(00:32):
When we draw closer to him.
Could flow out into ourfriendships to bless them as
well.
I wish that we could talk thisout across the table today with
maybe some steaming hot coffeein hand, but this is the next
best thing.
I'm so glad you hear friend.
Let's get started.
(00:52):
Hey friends.
Megan, welcome back to thepodcast.
We are wrapping up our summerseries today.
How are you doing?
I'm good.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm good.
Well, I said we're wrapping itup today.
I didn't mean we're wrapping itup today.
We're wrapping it up as werecord today.
Yes.
This is our last time recordingtogether.
We're recording this week's andnext week's episodes today, and
(01:15):
so it feels like kind of a, aclosure for us, which I'm sad.
I so loved, so loved talkingwith you this summer, but, um,
think it's been awesome.
I was thinking about, oh, likeI'm wrapping up our summer
series and I'm like, oh mygoodness, that means summer's
almost over.
I'm not ready for it.
Sean was saying, he said earliertoday, he's like, we'll need the
heat.
And like, like we were talkingabout something and he
(01:37):
referenced like, we'll need theheat in like a month or so, and
I was like, oh gosh.
Excuse me.
So how are you feeling about itbeing
Meghan (01:47):
August?
It's, I feel like it just camelike next.
So we start school, we startschool next week, like kids do,
and I'm just like, how did we,how did we get here?
I think part of it is, Summersin Alaska are just insane in
general.
But I also feel like with theweather this year, it's been so
weird and not like a summersummer that, yeah, I feel like
(02:08):
it shouldn't be August.
I don't know.
I'm trying to wrap my brainaround it.
I
Kimber (02:11):
feel like it, yeah, like we've had like maybe a month of
summer, which praise God, we'vebeen praying full series that
like Sun would come outeventually.
And it did like it.
It did.
It did.
We had a
Meghan (02:22):
solid, we had a solid week last
Kimber (02:24):
week.
Oh man.
But yeah, I found myselfthinking the other day, I was
like, oh my goodness, it'salready August and it feels like
it should be like early July,but I It
Meghan (02:34):
does, but it is what, it's so it goes, goes, but
there's excitement around thecorner, all the other things
that will
Kimber (02:39):
be coming, so.
Totally.
It's good.
Yeah.
Good stuff coming in the fall.
Well, yes.
Um, like I said, I've just hadso much fun chatting with you
this summer, Megan, and as wekind of go into our last few
episodes, I was just kind ofreflecting on like, you know
what I feel like.
Has stood out to me the mostthrough this series and what
I've enjoyed the most.
And, I, I don't think that I sawthis kind of coming when I
(03:02):
started this series, but I feellike it has been, such a good
reminder of how much like ourrelationship with Jesus and our
relationships with other people,like how really like connected
those things are.
And I think that's somethingthat kind of came outta this
series is the more we likefleshed it out.
And, um, I really lovedconsidering that just like how
(03:23):
much like Jesus' life has toteach us about like how to do
friendship And so that's beensomething that I've really
enjoyed reflecting on and I wasjust thinking about that the
other day as we were wrappingthis up.
I'm like, wow.
We're almost like to the end ofit, but of course that doesn't,
that those, that reflectiondoesn't have to stop here, but I
would love to hear what, whathave you most enjoyed about our
(03:43):
conversation so far this summer?
Oh, well first of
Meghan (03:46):
all, like, I love being on here, so thanks for having me
this summer.
It's been really fun just tohang with you a little bit
virtually.
It's been so good.
Kimber (03:53):
Um,
Meghan (03:53):
yeah.
Yeah, I would say pretty much onthe same thread as you.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I've really love that.
And just kind of breaking downjust so many of the different
areas of our lives that wemight, you know, like we're
talking about the Holy Spirittoday and how that sometimes can
feel separate from ourfriendships.
Like there's my relationshipwith God and my relationship
with people, but how much ofthat is just so like,
(04:14):
intertwined together?
So it's been really fun just tokind of break everything down
into little bits of just these,all these different areas of our
life and thread it, thread itthrough of what our relationship
with God is like, and how thatthreads through into our
friendships.
So,
Kimber (04:27):
Yeah, I really loved that.
I feel like it's, it's such anarea that like we don't
necessarily like, or like aconnection that we don't
necessarily think mm-hmm.
Of making, like you said, likethat we kind of think of them
separately.
Um, but yeah, I think when we dolike, kind of marry those ideas
that they do have a lot to teachus.
Mm-hmm.
Um, really about each other.
Like our friendships canreflect, Our relationship with
God and the potential there whenthey're at their best.
(04:49):
Right, definitely.
And then of course, ourrelationship with the Lord, when
that like comes into afriendship, I think it just
deepens it in really specialways.
So Yeah, I have, I have loved ittoo.
Well, like you said, yeah, we'retalking about the Holy Spirit
today, and we've talked aboutlike a bunch of these different
areas you know, like prayer andscripture and like all of these
different, aspects ofspirituality and how they relate
(05:11):
to our friendships.
And so of course the HolySpirit, like mm-hmm.
Big part of spirituality, um,can't not talk about that.
And as I was first thinkingabout this, I was like, I feel
like the connection is maybe notimmediately apparent, but then
once I started like getting intoit a little more, like digging
into this idea of like, how doesour relationship with the Holy
Spirit impact our actualfriendships?
(05:33):
I was like, oh my goodness,these are so connected.
And so that's what we're gonnakind of get into today.
I would love us just to kind ofstart out with.
Like, how would you characterizeyour relationship with the Holy
Spirit?
And I'll share a little bitabout kind of where I'm at in
this journey too, just so likeour friends listening kind of
know, where we're at.
Because I mean, this should be aparent.
(05:53):
Anyone who's listening topodcast for a hot minute, I'm
not an expert on much at all.
So not an expert here.
I hope they got, but, but I am,I am, uh, pursuing a de deeper
relationship with Holy Spirit.
Right?
Yeah.
And so I would love to hear foryou kind of what, how would you
characterize your relationshipwith him right now?
Yeah.
Meghan (06:10):
Oh, that's, I, well, I love that question.
'cause I'm like, oh, that's sucha good question to ask in this
time.
It was a hard question kind of.
It's, it was, I was like, ah,that was deep.
Um, so I wrote down, I said, um,my confidant, my friend, um, and
who I go to for peace anddiscernment and making the Holy
Spirit for me is that, Um, thatcompass of when I am, needing
(06:35):
direction when I need to justtalk to Jesus.
Mm-hmm.
Um, being able to access, theHoly Spirit.
Be able to hear from God in thatway.
and yeah, so that's kind of who,what, how, what I thought of, of
just that, that wise friendthat's gonna give you
Kimber (06:51):
Yeah.
The good stuff.
Well, I love, like yeah.
Those are like what comes tomind for you.
Those are all like relationalYeah.
Ideas like confidant and like,you know, wise direction and
stuff.
Mm-hmm.
That's all relational.
And so yeah.
We're talking about like arelationship here and we know
that like, you know, we have arelationship with Jesus, right.
But I think sometimes we don'talways think about the Holy
(07:13):
Spirit.
I would say, at least from mytradition, like background, I
would say of like the father,son, holy Spirit, I feel like my
relationship with the HolySpirit is the least close.
Okay.
Yeah.
And that's something that I justreally, um, I want to change
because I feel like you said,like the Holy Spirit can, you
(07:34):
know, does all those things inour relationship and, it's such
an important part of ourrelationship with God that it's
like, if it just gets kind offorgotten, I think we're missing
a lot Yeah.
Of the relationship there.
And so for me, I think that,fear and control has always been
kind of like my vice or thethings that I struggle with.
And so I think that those thingsin particular can like drown out
(07:58):
the voice of the Holy Spiritbecause it's like those things
can be a lot louder.
And so I've just been learningto listen, I would say, and
like, Make sure that that, thoselines of communication are open,
right?
Yeah, exactly.
And then you're actually likeyeah.
Building that relationship and,and learning to listen more.
So, yeah.
Meghan (08:16):
So yeah, I would say, and knowing his voice over the
enemies and Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
Kimber (08:20):
Yes.
Not only being able to hear it,but knowing what he sounds like.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I think that, yeah, it'sdefinitely like, been a good
journey for me, but definitelydoesn't come super natural, very
naturally supernaturally,supernaturally to me.
I wouldn't say so, but I'm so,yeah.
I, right.
(08:43):
I'm excited to, uh, I'm excitedto talk about this a little bit
more'cause Yeah, I think it,it's a cool, it's a cool
connection.
So if we're thinking of thisidea of friendship and like how
does my relationship with theHoly Spirit impact my
friendships, I think that whatcomes to mind for me is that so
much of how the Holy Spiritguides me is relationally to
(09:04):
those in my life, right?
Yes.
Like we know the Holy Spirit.
Like, there's lots of aspects ofhim, right?
He empowers us to like, havefaith and to mm-hmm.
You know, go on mission with theLord and stuff.
and he we're, we learn inscripture that the Holy Spirit
also like even gives us, like,the capacity to believe in
(09:24):
Jesus, right?
So like, there's those aspects,but I think also much of his
work in our lives is relational.
Like, I think of like, if I'm ina tough conversation with
someone, like I need to talk to'em about something that feels
really uncomfortable, like I'mtalking to the Holy Spirit to
guide me, right?
Like, what do I say?
How do I get through thisconversation?
Or like, A lot of times he'llput it like, on our hearts to
(09:47):
talk to someone or to meet aneed or serve someone.
Like, yeah, all of those thingsare relational.
Um, or not all of them, but alot of the things that I think
he does in our lives are aboutour relationships with people.
And so it seems to me that a lotof the Holy Spirit's work is
relating to friendship in mylife.
(10:08):
Um, do you see it that way too?
Or how do you feel like the holyour relationship with the Holy
Spirit might connect to our
friendships?
Meghan (10:15):
Yeah, no, I was gonna pretty much say the same thing
that, that you did, for sure.
Mm-hmm.
I think that, yeah, that'swhere, I need him to be
partnered with me in my life,you know?
And as a believer, like I havethe Holy Spirit, and so being
able to use that and hear hisvoice when I need to have those
hard conversations, or I needlike, To hear direction or
getting through something likebeing able to have him with me.
(10:39):
And that is so important.
And it also, like for me, takesaway that, or, you know, what I
hope it does is take away thatpart where it's not my words,
it's God's words coming out.
And I always feel like whenwe're, when we're taking that
time to like, God, I, I need youto speak through me and not just
what my flesh is feeling in thatmoment.
(11:00):
It's so important.
Um, and so I think thatobviously with our friendships
and it's, we're both believers,that's such a, like, important
part of that is,
Kimber (11:09):
Is accessing him.
So yeah, inviting him to guideus through that.
And yeah.
And the way you said that too,reminded me of what you said
earlier, the idea of a confidanttoo.
Like even as mm-hmm.
I experience like relationaltension and stuff, like going to
him instead of going to like,you know, whatever my vice is,
like social media or, you know,whatever, numbing out or
(11:29):
whatever.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And also
Meghan (11:31):
taking things back to him of like, someone, someone
approached me with somethinglike, yeah, I need to, like, is
this something that God'stelling me to do?
Yeah.
It's like
Kimber (11:41):
processing process.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm.
Yeah.
if we're like communicating withthe Holy Spirit about those
things, as like our closestconfidant that is going to be
better at the end, how I mightprocess otherwise I think.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
That's so good.
How do you feel like, so thenthe flip side of that I think
would be how are our friendshipsimpacted if we don't listen to
(12:04):
the Holy Spirit and obey him?
Like how, what do you see aslike kind of the negative side
there?
Like where if we're not likeleaning into our relationship
with him, how do you think ourfriendships suffer?
Well, I think then we're
Meghan (12:16):
leaning on ourselves and our own power, our own flesh in
what our feelings and opinionsare on the matter.
And that's never right, gonewell for
Kimber (12:27):
most of us.
Meghan (12:27):
Yeah.
Um, when I am speaking out ofjust my own sinful nature of.
This is how I feel and it's morelike me.
and so yeah, I think that has ahuge impact on our, on our
friendships when we're not, um,coming at it with like this love
of Christ.
And like I, I want to not embodyhim.
(12:48):
What's the word I'm looking for?
I want to like be like Jesus inthat moment.
Yeah.
And if I'm not Yeah, likereflect him sort of thing.
Yeah.
And ref Yes.
Reflect him.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Um, reflect him through that.
And when I'm not doing that,it's on my own strength, my own
right.
Wisdom, quote unquote, you know?
Yeah.
And instead a lot of times isisn't actually, was, isn't
actually what is.
(13:09):
Right.
So, yeah.
You
Kimber (13:11):
know, that makes me think of what we talked about a
lot at the beginning of thisseries.
Like, you know, it's not like Ineed friends who are pursuing
Jesus.
Not because like, you know, I, Ican't have friendships that.
Aren't.
That's a good thing is you know,to have friendships with people
who don't know the Lord that wemight be able to bring to him.
(13:33):
But like the closest people inmy life.
If I want to be like, receivingGodly wisdom from them and like,
having that kind of, like, ifI'm giving that kind of Holy
Spirit empowered advice or justlike even being a sounding board
that like reflects Christ'sheart and not just my, my own
(13:56):
like sinful, you know, kimber'sselfish heart kind of thing.
Right?
Like, if I wanna be that kind offriend, like those are the kind
of people I want in my life too.
Like when I come to my friendwith, you know, a, a challenge
or something, I want, I'mhoping, I'm praying that they
are like listening to the HolySpirit as they give me advice
and respond to me and listen.
And, um, man, when they, whenthat is true, when we're both, I
(14:18):
think trying to, listen to theHoly Spirit as we support each
other.
I think it's just, it's such,it's so much richer and yeah.
And better.
And it's not gonna be perfect Idon't think ever.
But No, it, you can tell thatit, like, it makes a difference
I think.
Yeah.
Meghan (14:35):
Oh, for sure.
Kimber (14:36):
Yeah, definitely.
So we both grew up in thenineties, right?
What year were you born?
Born?
Meghan (14:41):
Yes.
We did 87 year reveal.
Okay.
Yes.
87.
Okay.
I'll
Kimber (14:45):
be 36.
I'll be 91.
91 baby.
91.
Meghan (14:47):
Okay.
My brother's a 91 baby.
Oh,
Kimber (14:51):
yes, yes.
Um, I don't think I actuallyknew how old you were, so.
Yeah.
Um, I wasn't sure, but I prettysure I'll 36 in.
You mostly grew up in thenineties?
Yes.
Yes, I would.
Except for
Meghan (15:02):
your, yeah.
First
Kimber (15:03):
few years.
Infantile years.
Yes.
But I was thinking, as I wasthinking about this topic of the
Holy Spirit, um, it made methink of, did you have like a
t-shirt or something when youwere a kid that had the fruits
of the spirit on it?
Oh, I don't know.
You dunno.
(15:23):
Okay.
I don't know
Meghan (15:24):
if I had a lot of like salty over salty.
Where you just
Kimber (15:28):
The psalm little.
The little salter?
Yes.
And like mag
Meghan (15:33):
me, like I grew up on that.
Yes.
Like mag?
Yes.
Kimber (15:36):
Okay.
Oh my goodness.
I do remember.
I dunno if I did.
No, I don't know if did.
That's hilarious.
So if friends listening, if youdid not, um, grow up in the
church, you're probably veryconfused what we're saying.
Those were both what me, Meganmentioned there.
Salty and Mickey.
They were like littlechildren's.
I don't know, like cartoonfigures.
(15:56):
Oh.
That were like biblically basedor something.
But I was thinking about thisand I was like, I just
remembered like going to theChristian bookstore with my mom.
Mm-hmm.
And they would have all theselike, uh, t-shirt, like girls'
t-shirts, you know, or likeThat's funny.
The, the cups or journals orwhatever.
And I feel like so often it wasthe fruits of the spirit.
Yeah.
Meghan (16:17):
On these.
I'll have to ask my mom.
I'll be like, mom, I have arandom question.
Did I have a fruit of thespirit?
I guarantee that one.
These one, I remember theposters.
Kimber (16:24):
That's hilarious.
Oh yeah.
Posters.
That was a whole thing too.
Uh, so funny.
Yeah.
So either you're like, eitherfriends listening, you're like
us and you're like, oh my gosh,me too.
Or yeah.
Or you're just like laughing athow different our town's work.
Google.
Yes.
One of the two can go down.
Meghan (16:43):
Christian kid.
The hole
Kimber (16:44):
on Google.
I know.
Darn pack.
Definitely.
Yes.
Lots of, lots of good memoriesthere.
And not so good both.
Yes.
But um, all I had to say, like,I, I think that for me, at least
growing up in the church, thefruits of spirit are something
that was e is easy to latch ontoright.
I think.
(17:04):
And it's like easy to memorize,you know?
And, and they're all like, it'spositive, right?
Yes.
And there're things that likeyou want your kids to learn as
well, I suppose.
Yes.
Like, you know, love, greatthing.
Mm-hmm.
Kindness.
Right?
Um, but I think that this ideaof the fruits of the spirit is
so familiar to me from childhoodthat it's like I almost can't
(17:26):
even.
Like read them without like,like I can't hear them hardly
because it's so familiar.
You know, it's like when youjust know something so well and
you don't really like thinkabout what it means.
And so as I was kind of thinkingabout this, I was like, This is
what we're actually talkingabout here.
Like living with the HolySpirit, guiding our life is
(17:48):
going to produce these fruits orlike produce these qualities in
our lives and in ourrelationships, right?
Mm-hmm.
And so I would love today forthe rest of our time just to
kind of break these down in likehow we see the fruits of the
spirit displayed in ourfriendships specifically.
Mm-hmm.
And how this like walking withthe spirit relationally, can
(18:10):
actually like, bring thesefruits to our friendships, not
just to our like, personallives, which is how I've kind of
always thought of them.
So, okay.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say them,but I'm gonna say'em out of
order'cause that just, okay.
It's gonna kind of help me likeactually hear them and I don't
know if, um, would you say thisis like, Hard for you too, or do
you feel like fruits of thespirit, this is like something
(18:32):
that you can really, um, thatyou don't have that like tension
with?
Yeah.
I don't think I have thattension
Meghan (18:38):
with it.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm so glad to hear that.
Yeah.
Kimber (18:41):
Yeah.
So yeah.
Friends listening if, but I
Meghan (18:43):
don't know if I could say it out of order.
I think that's weird.
Kimber (18:46):
Well, I wrote them down, so that helps me because
literally it's like I read themand I'm like, I like, I don't
know what it is about my brain,but it's just like, I can't
really think about themindividually'cause they're just
like a list in my head.
It's like a list.
Well, yes, I could see it list'sjust a personal quirk.
Meghan (19:03):
No, I could see it being a list.
'cause I wrote it down.
I did like a list.
Like, I'm like, love, joy,peace, patience, kind.
Like, I can't, like jumble.
It's weird.
Yeah.
So you can jumble it totally inmy head.
I can't, I I don't think I wouldget them all if I tried to
jumble it.
So maybe I do have a little bitof
Kimber (19:16):
fruit sauce here.
A little bit of, yeah.
Stuck of it.
So, okay.
So I'm gonna say out of orderand I'm trying to think of like,
how, Are they all relational?
Like do they all apply tofriendships?
And I think you're gonna findthat they do.
'cause that's what I wasfinding.
Yeah.
So like, for sure gentleness.
Let's start with gentleness.
Like, yeah, that's relational,right?
Like right in how I relate topeople.
Do I have gentleness?
(19:37):
Um, patience.
Yes.
Yes.
Relational, right?
Like joy.
I could see joy beingindividual, but definitely like
within ancient too.
Sure.
Yeah.
Um, we've got goodness.
Self-control.
Oh, I forgot.
Goodness.
Yeah, I did the right time.
Goodness.
Yeah.
I missed one.
Meghan (19:56):
Oh, skipped one.
Yeah, I missed one.
Kimber (20:00):
What does that mean?
My bad.
I don't know.
Just
Meghan (20:02):
kidding.
Just kidding.
Goodness of God.
Not
Kimber (20:04):
right.
Self-control though.
Like totally relational peace.
I was thinking about just likerelational peace, right?
Yeah.
Like that's something that weall want.
Um.
Love, of course, love forothers, obviously faithfulness
and kindness.
And so I think that as I waslike kind of thinking through
(20:25):
these, I'm like, wow.
Yeah.
Like I could totally see howeach of these applies to our
friendships and how we can seethese things growing.
And so, um, yeah.
Let's just kind of go througheach one real quick and just
talk about how we see the HolySpirit kind of growing this
fruit in our friendships.
Yes.
maybe even apart from just likehow it grows in us personally.
So, let's start with gentleness.
(20:46):
Um, how do you, how do you thinkgentleness can come up in our
friendships and when we'rewalking with the Holy Spirit?
How this gentleness can blessour friendships?
Yeah.
Meghan (20:58):
I put down, um, with gentleness to having grace for
others, um, being graceful andwith myself, you know, of being.
Yeah.
you know, we don't wanna beaggressive in our.
Approach and having thatgentleness, that understanding,
that grace for one another, Ithink is really important in our
friendships.
Um, yeah.
(21:18):
And when we, you know, when weall go through good seasons, bad
seasons, having that, thatgentleness, that person there,
that's just there, that kind ofconstant steady friend, like
steady
Kimber (21:28):
presence.
Yes.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I definitely thought of like theharsh judgment ideas.
Well, yeah.
Or like, you know, cuttingcomments like, you know, just in
my speech, like I feel like whenI'm you know, responding to
someone like we talked about outof like my own self versus like,
you know, how would I respond tothis harder situation?
(21:51):
Like with the spirit guiding me,like yeah, gentleness is gonna
come out, versus in my ownflesh, it's gonna probably be
like some sarcasm and some like,maybe sassiness, like cutting
comments, whatever.
Like I, I know that those are mynature.
And so, yeah, I think that inthe, in how I communicate and is
definitely one for me.
(22:11):
And then I love that idea oflike mm-hmm.
The gentle presence too.
Mm-hmm.
'cause we all probably have, Iknow I have a friend, have
friends who are that to me like,oh, 100%.
You know?
Yeah.
Yep.
And so I think we can all thinkof people like that probably.
And I think that's, yeah, that'sprobably a through the spirit.
Um, what about patience?
This one seems super easy to me.
(22:32):
Yeah.
Yes.
To see like the parallels.
What do you see here forpatients?
Yeah.
Meghan (22:37):
Um, being patient.
Kimber (22:40):
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
I think being with our friends,uh,
Meghan (22:43):
with our friends, like there's gonna be.
Times where we drive each othercrazy, you know?
Yeah.
And there's gonna be conflictand annoyances and things, and
or we are trying to, maybe wefeel like there's something in
their life, or maybe it's in ourlife that we need to be working
on, and we want to go faster.
(23:05):
You know?
Maybe you're like, get ittogether, friend.
Get it together.
Well come on, come on.
But it's not always like that,you know?
And so, being that, again, Ithink that also plays into a
gentleness of like, I'm gonnawalk alongside you and be
patient as I know you're seekingthe Lord on this.
so that's kind, that was kind ofwhat I,
Kimber (23:19):
I went towards.
Yeah.
I definitely thought of likealso that friend who's like kind
of hard to love, likechronically Oh yeah.
Hard to love.
Like we call that
Meghan (23:28):
E G R E G R.
Extra grace required.
Kimber (23:31):
Extra grace required.
Yes.
That came up actually the otherday.
Someone I was talking to aswell.
I learned that first back inyouth ministry eon ago and Oh,
okay.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, you need it there, but youneed it in your friendships too.
That's true.
Because there's just, yeah.
Like there's just seasons, somefriendships where Yeah, it, I
think it requires patience tolove them well.
(23:54):
Mm-hmm.
And I know that I don't usuallyhave that on my own.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's absolutelysomething that I think the
spirit can guide us in and thatwe can like ask for more of.
I think too, like if we'restruggling with a friend,
Sometimes I think that, youknow, it's just like, I feel
this obligation to someone andI'm like, I know I need to love
them well, but oh, I just like,don't want to, it's hard, you
(24:17):
know?
I think that there's,opportunity there to pray and
ask the Holy Spirit to likeenrich our capacity for patients
for that friendship becausethat's so good.
Like if, you know, if we arejust in the world, like you just
drop people like that.
Yeah.
You know, canceled.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I just, uh, you know, thatdoesn't mean that there's not
(24:38):
times for friendships to have,you know, right.
Seasons and stuff.
I'm not talking about that kindaa situation really.
I'm talking about the one wherelike, you know, that you have a
commitment to them, but Yes.
Yeah, it stuck.
Meghan (24:49):
Yeah.
But it's hard.
Yeah, absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
I think that's good.
Kimber (24:53):
So what about Joy?
How do you see Joy coming intoour friendships when it's from
the Holy Spirit?
Meghan (24:58):
Yeah, I think for joy, I thought of just that deep, like
kind of goes into love a littlebit like that deep love and
faithfulness and there's justthat joy of the lord presence in
your friendship.
Yeah.
Where you get to just, um, bewho you are, your sisters in
Christ, your friends.
Yeah.
And there's just that, that.
(25:19):
I just saw like this cup likerunning over of just Yeah.
The fun and the silliness and,um, but just that joy that we
get from having joy in the Lordthat we get to express to our
friends too.
Yeah.
Um, and it overflowing into
Kimber (25:32):
that.
So I love that image of theoverflowing cup.
Yeah.
I feel like that's somethingthat, like we talk about a lot
here at the podcast of like, youknow, if our, like, well in our
hearts, like, um, you know, likethe metaphor of a a well in the
ground is like our relationshipwith the Lord, then that spills
out into community in our lives.
(25:53):
And it's that same, that sameidea that you're talking about
there.
Yeah.
It's like that joy can is can bepart of what spills out there.
Um, I was thinking of too, justlike you knowing I was gonna
talk to you about this, like Ifeel like you're someone who
just loves to have fun.
Which sucks.
Like, would you, like, would youagree with that?
Like I would say yes.
(26:13):
Yeah.
And I think that's such, that isa fruit of the spirit, like when
we just are people who love tolike experience joy with other
people.
Yeah.
I think that that is, that isevidence of like the character
of God because God is, Likeexist in community, right?
Yeah.
And like, he made us to be incommunity with him too.
And so I think that when webring that kind of joy to our
(26:36):
friendships, it just likedelights in, like having fun
with our people.
Yes.
I think that, that that evidenceis the Lord.
And we maybe don't always thinkabout that.
No, it's true.
And um, like
Meghan (26:46):
side note, when we were watching the Chosen, um, like I
loved, there was quite a fewscenes where Jesus is just like
this super joyful, just havingfun and being silly,
Kimber (26:56):
just have fun together.
Mm-hmm.
And
Meghan (26:58):
I think that so many times we disconnect that of
like, he was still human and hadall those like,
Kimber (27:04):
like he was just somber walking around all the time or
something.
Yeah.
Like, you know,
Meghan (27:07):
but like, he was joking around, you know, and I mean, I
know like, it's not verbatimlike, you know, but I know
that's how he was, you know, hewas,'cause he still had that.
So, um, yeah.
So that.
Kimber (27:18):
I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think that the joy of the Lordidea is totally, it's totally in
scripture, I think, but I thinkthat we just don't always notice
it because mm-hmm.
It's not like it's hard toevidence joy through just like
articulating things thathappened.
Right, right.
Like, it's much more of a kindof emotional response.
(27:39):
And I think if the, this istotally a sidebar too.
I think if the Bible waswritten, by like a 21st century
western American writer today,it would have so much in it
about like, you know, ouremotional response.
Like yes.
Jesus's emotions and like howdid he feel in this moment?
You know, and how the discipleswere.
(27:59):
Right.
And that's what you see comingthrough in the chosen, because
it's from, like, it's being,it's a story told from our
perspective, how we tell
Meghan (28:06):
stories.
Yes, yes.
These days.
Kimber (28:09):
And in our culture.
But like Hebrew thought theydidn't tell stories that way.
That's not how they focusedtheir stories.
It was so much more like eventdriven and like minimalistic.
Like they mm-hmm.
Whatever they assumed you knew,they, they weren't gonna repeat
it.
So, so it's just like such adifferent storytelling style.
So I think if you look reallyclosely in scripture, you can
see the things that point tothat.
(28:31):
But yeah, you have to lookclosely.
And that is something that Ienjoy about the chosen too.
'cause I think it highlightsthose things that, like he was
human, of course he had, he washuman and
Meghan (28:39):
so yes.
Just that relational part.
Yeah.
Kimber (28:42):
Yeah.
I love it.
Well, uh, what about, goodness,this is the one you forgot.
It's what I forgot.
Meghan (28:48):
So I'm like, uh, on the fly here,
Kimber (28:51):
how do I speak?
So what I thought of withgoodness, and then see what
comes to mind for you.
I just think of like, if theHoly Spirit inspires and wells
up goodness in our lives, andthat is what pours out, then I
think that that is gonna belike, that looks like blessing
our friends like yes, withgoodness.
So it's like pursuing holinessand pursuing what is good with
(29:15):
people in our lives.
And it made me think of justlike, I think so often,
especially in like, well, Ithink it happens in male
friendships too, but in femalefriendships.
I think that the world is such,it shows us this, i this picture
in like media and stuff offemale friendship that it's just
like, you know, girls likegossiping and like, being catty
(29:38):
about people or like, I don'tknow, like just reveling in
things that like are not good.
Um, yeah, and it being likethat, that's the basis of female
friendship and I don't thinkthat that.
Is true.
I don't think that that has tobe that way.
Like, we can celebrate goodnessand like the good things in this
(30:01):
world with our friends, and likethat is enough to like build a
relationship on Yes.
Like we don't have to like, youknow, like binge bridgeton
together to like have somethingto talk about which, right.
Great story.
But like, but like, we don'thave to like just get into
things that don't honor God tohave stuff to talk about or
(30:23):
things to do as friends.
Like we can celebrate and andengage in things that are good,
that are, is Yeah.
You know, that honor God andhave lots of goodness come out
of our friendships from that.
And so, yeah, I think it's justlike this idea that What flows
out into our friendships andhaving a different expectation
(30:45):
than what the world does withthat sort of, yeah.
So what do you see that's good?
Meghan (30:51):
Goodness.
I was thinking of that song,like I just kept hearing that
song, like, I will sing in theGoodness of God, you know?
And, um, that song, I love thatsong.
And for me it's more of like,God wants good things for us.
Hmm.
That doesn't always mean that atthe time.
It feels good to us in themoment.
Yeah.
(31:11):
Um, that's good, good reminder.
But he, but he, he, but hedoesn't sees good in that.
And I feel like withfriendships, like that's kinda
where I was going, is that myfriends, my friends that are
faithful and that are seekingthe Holy Spirit, seeking the
Lord.
Like they want good things forme because God wants good things
for me.
And that's not always, know,that sometimes comes with hard
(31:34):
conversations But their heartbehind it is one of goodness.
You know, in those moments.
Yeah, totally.
So that's, that's kind of wheremy brain went of just I love
that.
Yeah.
Kimber (31:43):
Like even just the hard things that we go through in our
relationships or individuallythat God will bring good out of
that.
He'll
Meghan (31:50):
good at that.
And, and then our friends wantthat too, you know?
Kimber (31:52):
Yeah, absolutely.
So that's a good one.
Yeah.
Okay, next up, I'm making youlike, jump around.
Is it like, really it's right.
Emphasizing your brain, it'sboop, boop, boop.
Yeah.
Meghan (32:02):
Jump around.
Yeah.
Kimber (32:05):
Okay.
What about self-control?
Let's go to the end.
So how you see that one comingup again?
One, I feel like that,
Meghan (32:12):
yes, my whole, I need my Holy Spirit filter or, you know,
like Right.
Keep my, keep my Jesus on.
So I throw when, yeah, like good
Kimber (32:18):
old Amanda Cook, keep my Jesus on, keep my Jesus on, um,
Meghan (32:23):
when to speak and when not to, would be my
self-control.
Mm-hmm.
Like there are.
There's gonna be things in, youknow, that I might wanna say,
but in that moment, is thatreally what God wants me to say?
Is that even from God in thatmoment, is it the time where I
just need to be praying throughthis situation and come back to
it another time with thatfriend?
Or is it in, you know, likethere's so many layers to it,
(32:45):
but it's that when do I close mymouth?
When do I Yes.
Step back and pray.
When do I speak is like, that'smy, you know, self-control.
Kimber (32:54):
Everything I was thinking was tame the tongue
too.
Okay.
Meghan (32:57):
Yeah.
Tame the tongue.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
'cause it is so easy and we all,we all don't do that all the
time.
Like, we're gonna slip up.
Mm-hmm.
And, but I also think part ofthat self-control is then going
back and then being like, Iprobably said something I would
shouldn't have said, you know?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
and on that, like no of that is,recognizing like even though we
(33:18):
have the Holy Spirit, we are notthe Holy Spirit.
For
Kimber (33:21):
our friends.
Yes.
That's so good.
Meghan (33:24):
And so I think that kind of ties into a little bit of
Yeah.
Kimber (33:28):
That is such a key dynamic shift that mm-hmm We
have the Holy Spirit, but we arenot our friend's.
Holy Spirit.
Yeah.
And so there are times when we,many times I think probably more
plentiful times than when wespeak, when he asks us to
actually like speak into asituation where we pray for them
(33:50):
or you know, we.
Man, hold back what we Yeah.
What we wish we could saybecause yeah, that's not our job
to Right.
To convict.
Right?
Yes.
Um, yeah.
Yeah.
Such a good reminder.
Oh, and like a hard dynamic,that one.
It's hard.
Yeah.
That one was a reallyrevolutionary concept in
marriage for me was like, yeah,I can like challenge at times or
(34:16):
like maybe at times, you know,like speak some truth when it's
like, when it's gonna bereceived, um, or it's invited.
But a lot of times my job isprobably just to pray mm-hmm.
And allow the Holy Spirit to dothe work of convicting.
Yeah.
Um, because that's a lot oftimes it just isn't received
from us Well and Right.
(34:37):
In marriage or, and friendship.
And that's because it's not ourjob.
Yep.
To Yep.
To bring that away.
So yeah.
I love that reminder.
That's really good.
Um, what about peace?
How do you see peace from theHoly Spirit impacting our
friendships?
Mm-hmm.
Meghan (34:52):
I actually didn't have write one down for that one.
Um, yeah, I was trying, I wasstill thinking through that
Kimber (34:57):
one.
Um, yeah, I think what comes tomind for me is just like the
idea of relational peace.
Yeah.
Like, you know, when we're likein conflict with our
friendships, I think that a lotof times the world's idea of
peace in friendship, comes outas just never arguing or Yes.
Never fighting or never havingconflict.
(35:18):
Mm-hmm.
Um, or if we do, then you try torestore peace by like either
acting like it didn't happen orby ending that friendship like
Yeah, that's true.
and those kind of things havehappened in my life.
I'm not great at handling those.
In fact, I'm working on that asa person.
But like, I think that.
When the Holy Spirit can workthrough our relationships to
(35:39):
bring peace.
It's not always gonna look likejust no conflict ever happening,
but how do we walk throughconflict without it like ruining
our lives or like crushing ouridentity or, blowing up every
other relationship in our lifetoo, right?
Like that kind of peace that hecan bring to us, that our
(36:01):
identity is secure in the Lord.
And even when we have relationalconflict that like we can honor
him through that and honor eachother, like, oh man, that's so
hard.
That's,
Meghan (36:09):
that's so, yeah.
That's
so
Kimber (36:10):
good.
That's a whole tough thing.
But I do think that that's likemaybe where the Holy Spirit can
speak into that.
Meghan (36:16):
Yeah.
No, I love that.
That's, that's 100% true, therelational piece.
mm-hmm.
And it's true because ourculture is so much of don't rock
the boat, don't say anything.
Right.
Just.
stuff it and end up ghosting,you know, or whatever.
Right, right.
Um, but there's so much peacethat's brought when we are just
open and honest and have thoseconflicts like that, that's a
(36:38):
good friend.
That's a good friend.
You know, that's gonna, yeah.
That wants that peace.
Because sometimes we might thinkit's fine, but they've got like
this inner turmoil happening,like their heart's not at peace.
Right?
Yes.
You know, and so being able towork that out, so we're both
feeling good.
That's the kind of piece that,yeah.
Kimber (36:55):
That we, we need in our relationships.
Yeah.
It's that difference between,like, we think that peace is
just like smooth waters, right?
As opposed to like, peace is notjust like above the surface.
Like Right.
Peace should, could, can andshould like infiltrate our whole
lives.
So conflict actually givesopportunity to like, or peace.
(37:15):
Yeah.
Bring true peace.
Yeah.
Meghan (37:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Love that.
Kimber (37:19):
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Love that.
Yeah.
That's a tough one.
I think.
I think that's probably one ofthe, one of the hardest ones,
um, at least in my life, uh, toallow the Holy Spirit into, um,
just because.
it's just really messy and, andtough and counter, I think, too.
Mm-hmm.
No, yeah.
I agree.
Um, what about love?
How do you see, just like, lovefrom the Holy Spirit, uh mm-hmm.
(37:41):
Affecting our friendships?
Yeah.
Meghan (37:43):
Well, I think that even our culture has a, the
definition of love is not, itkind of ties in with peace of,
you know, well when the feelingsgo away, when this is, um,
Kimber (37:52):
yeah.
Feeling versus choice based,
Meghan (37:54):
right?
Feeling versus choice.
And there's gonna be times whereI might not like my friend, but
I love my friend, you know that.
And
Kimber (38:02):
that is like not a concept to the world, right?
Like, No.
If I don't like them, then theyshouldn't, they're not my
Meghan (38:08):
friend anymore.
Right.
Exactly.
Kimber (38:10):
And yeah.
Yeah.
But I think that that is, thatshould be true.
Yeah.
Meghan (38:16):
But it's hard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It is very hard.
No, it's very hard.
And so that, but that love, likethat's a supernatural thing from
the Lord to, yes.
To keep loving the unlovable,you know?
And I am unlovable at timesmm-hmm.
And people not quitting on me,um, in those moments or vice
versa.
So
Kimber (38:33):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought of just like that ideaof like self-centered
friendships versus likeselflessness in friendships is
like a side of that too.
Because if, if I just have likeself-centered love in my
friendships that's like not fromthe Lord, then that is just
based on like affection orRight.
(38:55):
What they can do for me or howthey make me feel like you're
saying.
But when When it's the fruit ofthe spirit kinda love, like
going out into our friendships,I think that's going to be less
me focused and more othersfocused.
Yeah.
And so I think that when westart to see those, those traits
(39:15):
in our friendships of like, oh,like, I'm not thinking about
myself as much as, you know, I'mthinking about, well how does
this, you know, impact thisfriendship?
Or, you know, how do my wordsnot only like say what I think,
but how are, how is it gonnamake my friend, you know, feel,
and how are they gonna receiveit?
Is it gonna build them up andedify them or tear them down?
(39:36):
Like, yeah, like that's, I thinkthe love from the Holy Spirit
that's being evidenced in ourrelationships as well.
Meghan (39:44):
Yeah, no, for sure.
Kimber (39:45):
That's good.
All right.
We got two more faithfulness.
Two more.
Okay.
Let's start with which this ideaof faithfulness is interesting
to me.
I was just writing about thisthe other day and it's like,
it's this idea of like fidelityor like, you know, sticking with
mm-hmm.
With something and like truth,uh, which I think is just like
(40:06):
such a lost concept Yeah.
In our world today.
And so I thought of it from thislens of like, sticking with
people, um, even when they'rehard or when we're not feeling
it or we're tired or whatever.
Um, and just being like friendswho are faithful to each other.
Yeah.
Um, and to our commitments to,to like carry one another's
(40:28):
burdens and walk with eachother.
Um, how do you see faithfulnesscoming in?
Yeah.
Meghan (40:33):
Um, so no, I, I brought down pretty much the same thing
of mm-hmm.
Um, Choosing to stay when it'seasy to walk away or, through
the good seasons and the badseasons that we're all gonna go
through.
Um, being that friend thatsticks closer than a brother.
Yeah.
Um, I just think of like, we've,we give God a thousand reasons a
(40:53):
day to why he would not wannahave any relationship with us or
whatever, but he doesn't leave,you know?
Yeah.
He's faithful and loves us.
Kind of a terrible friend toYes.
And yeah, I'm not, not always agood friend at odd, for sure.
Yeah.
Um, but he stays and he lovesand, um, and doesn't leave.
And is that, that loyal friendand so Praise God.
(41:16):
Um, yeah, exactly.
Kimber (41:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So good.
All right.
What about kindness?
That's their last one.
Meghan (41:23):
Yeah.
Well, I think that kind of eventies into, gentleness a little
bit of Yeah.
Um, Yeah.
There's gonna be people in ourlife that are the extra grace
acquired and being kind.
Yeah.
And that self-control.
And so I think that ties in kindof for me the same way.
Kimber (41:37):
Yeah.
Just being like, I thought ofgrace as well, and like Yeah.
Being that friend that like usesmy words and actions for
kindness.
Mm-hmm.
And not for like, you know,building myself up or gaining
like power in the relationship.
Yeah.
Or like control in therelationship, but just like
acting out of kindness.
(41:59):
And I think that's, kindness isanother word that is super
overused in our, actually,we're, we're just so familiar
with it.
Yeah.
Meghan (42:05):
As we're talking, I'm like, all I keep thinking about
is like all the Be kind shirts,like that's a word that our
culture is like very much aboutright now.
Which is a good thing.
It's not a bad thing.
Totally.
Um, so as you're talking, what Iwas thinking of, like, that's
kind of our, maybe our first.
Invitation, invitation to peoplethat maybe don't know Jesus is
like, yeah, our ki is ourkindness.
(42:27):
Kindness, you know, I love that.
Um, and so, whether it's beingkind to the waitress that's gi,
you know, taking your order orthe people that you're checking
out your groceries, like justbeing kind is that speaks so
much Jesus to people sometimesthan anything else.
Um, and so that, I think thatkind of is that gateway to.
(42:48):
What's different about thisperson?
Yeah.
Do you know?
Yeah,
Kimber (42:51):
I totally agree with you that kindness is something that
is becoming a bigger thing inour culture right now, which
praise God.
Like I think that that is, yeah.
that is him moving and, and Ithink that's super cool.
I, it makes me remember when Iwas first, um, when I was first
teaching high school, I hadthis, uh, hoodie that I would
wear on Fridays, and it saidkind is the new Cool.
(43:14):
Yes.
And I, I loved that because Ithink it's just good to
encourage kindness when youteach freshman.
Um, but also because I do thinkthat it's true that like, that's
something that Gen Z I thinkexhibits beautifully is that
kindness is a higher priority inour schools right now.
(43:37):
What I see, what I saw when Iwas in there a few, just few
years ago, kindness is a higher.
Priority than coolness.
I think in many, many, manysituations more than when I was
in school.
Oh, 100% think coolness was the,the higher priority than
kindness.
I
Meghan (43:54):
tell my kids all the time as a sidebar, I'm like, the
stuff that like happened to meor what happened to other kids
at school would not fly for halfa second.
Yeah.
You know?
Right.
Because
Kimber (44:04):
it's, people are much more like, yeah.
They're, they're kinder.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know if they'rekinder.
Yeah.
They, it's like the socialstandard more so it's the social
Meghan (44:11):
than it was.
Yes.
It was clicky and being cool andbeing all that.
And I don't feel like that's theYeah.
I agree with you.
Kimber (44:18):
Which is good.
And so like, I think, yeah, Ithink it's great.
I think that that is like, youknow, yeah.
Praise God.
Um, yeah.
And I think that we can leaninto that, like Yeah.
You know, in our friendshipsand, and remember that like,
that kindness is, should be moreof a defining factor in how we
relate to people than, theircharisma or their, you know,
(44:39):
yeah.
Ability to like, make us lookbetter or, you know, whatever.
And I think, I don't know, maybethat's something that, that like
the Lord is bringing out in, inthe generation right now.
Yeah.
Um, to his glory.
And I praise him for that.
'cause I think that that is somuch, it's better.
It's better than it was.
There are other problems ofcourse, but for sure.
Yes.
But I think that that's, that'san aspect that, um, is doing
(45:01):
well, I feel like.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
For sure.
I love it.
I love it.
Awesome.
So, okay, as we kind of wrap uphere, what would you say of all
the fruits of the spirit mm-hmmUm, where do you think that the
Holy Spirit is like reallyworking on you the most in your
relationships right now?
I am gonna say patience.
I'm really getting in yourbusiness today.
You are.
(45:22):
I
Meghan (45:22):
love it.
Kimber (45:24):
I realize like that and the other Holy Spirit, it's like
very personal.
Let's do
Meghan (45:30):
it.
We're friends.
We're all friends here.
Um, great.
Yeah.
I'm gonna say patience.
Is kind of the one that sticksout with for me right now of,
need people to be patient withme.
I need to be patient with someother people in my life right
now.
Yeah.
Um, and so again, like that,it's not my job to convict.
(45:53):
That's God's job.
And so that requires like a stepback, you know, and things maybe
not always going the way I wouldwant them to go, um mm-hmm.
Or how I see fit for it, butthat, that's not my job.
Like, that's where I just haveto just lay it at God's feet and
be like, you do what you willwith that.
Um, that's so good.
yeah.
So I'm gonna say patience.
Kimber (46:15):
Yeah.
I think for me, I would say thatgentleness, like mm-hmm.
Man, as we're going through thelist, I just feel like that has
been something that God hasreally been, that we really
taught me.
I think as we moved away and wewere, Just like kind of, you
know, when you get pulled awayfrom certain relationships, I
think that you get perspective.
And when we moved away, I thinkthat he just showed me a lot of
(46:39):
ways that like I just, you know,had to grow.
And I think that was one of theways, like, I think I can be a
pretty like, um, just like brashor like, I don't think things
through always kind of person.
And I feel like the Lord isgrowing in me, that like gentle
and quiet spirit that, you know,Peter talks about.
And, I think we think of thatsometimes as like, oh, us, you
(47:01):
know, like women aren't supposedto say anything or something
silly like that.
But I think it's just more like,I know it's just like, We read
that and we're like, gentle andquiet spirit.
Ew, gross.
Like gross oppression.
It's like,
Meghan (47:13):
it's like the, the Jimmy uh, Jimmy found, Ew.
Kimber (47:16):
Lemme see.
Yeah.
Ew.
Yes.
We think like, oh no, I'm beingsilenced.
But I, I think, I think that'snot, I think that's not like the
heart behind it.
I think the heart behind it islike that gentleness and like
patience, listening, likeself-control.
Those are fruits of the spirit.
(47:37):
Yes.
Yeah.
And those can come out in ourrelationships and how we relate
to people.
In ways that are unique towomen.
And um, exactly.
That's what I was gonna say.
And I think that, yeah.
I think that when they do, Ithink that it really is gonna
bless people in our lives.
Yeah.
And so anyway, I think that thatis, yeah, I agree.
The gentleness is one way.
He's good.
(47:57):
Well, I love that.
Um, we've been ending with, achallenge Yes.
To put these things into action.
Um, I can talk all day, but thepracticality is something that
is so helpful for me when it'slike, okay, here's how I can
begin, like taking a step inthis in my life.
Yeah.
So how do you see ourrelationship with the Holy
Spirit flowing out into ourfriendships Yeah.
(48:18):
Um, as being practical in ourlives potentially
Meghan (48:21):
this week?
Yeah.
So I wrote down, take time totalk to the Lord as a friend, as
a challenge of how does it looklike to, um, really spend time
with him as your friend and notjust like, God, I need this.
Or it's just very like, youknow, I that, yeah.
Not liturgical, but just like,God, like what do I do?
(48:41):
Like just having that freedom toexpress what you need to express
the way that you would mm-hmm.
With a girlfriend for a co Yeah.
Across from coffee.
Like if it's crying, if it'sgetting angry for a minute, if
it's whatever it is, like beingable to just see him as your
friend, yeah.
And have that conversation.
And knowing that he, that's whathe wants.
Like he wants you to come to himas a friend.
(49:03):
Um, He craves that relationshipjust as much as I think we do.
We just, it just feels weird andawkward to Yeah.
maybe at first to do that.
Right.
So that was, that's my challengethis week.
Kimber (49:13):
I love it.
I love it because it's like, I,I feel like we say this a lot
around, but this is like theaspect that, uh, our friendships
can teach us about arelationship with God, because
we would never expect like afriendship to flourish if we
literally just like asked themfor stuff all the time.
Right.
Like, and that was just, butthat was it.
(49:34):
You know, like, yeah, yeah,yeah.
If I have a friend who I onlycall when I need something,
yeah.
Meghan (49:38):
That's not gonna go very
Kimber (49:39):
far.
Yeah.
They're gonna pick up on thatstuff.
They're right.
Oh yeah.
And it's gonna.
It's gonna get old and it's onesided.
Yeah.
And like, pray again, praise Godthat he is not like us in that
way.
Like he has an ending grace forus as we do that.
Yes.
To him.
But it's not gonna build arelationship in the same way.
(49:59):
It's not gonna build closenessand intimacy and like, and these
fruits of the spirit in ourlives in the same way when
that's how we relate to him.
So, exactly.
Yeah.
I think that is a, a wonderfulchallenge for us today.
Thank you.
Cool.
Yeah.
Aw.
Well thank you so much forhanging out with us today,
friends, listening, and Meganfor being here.
Um, man, I just pray that thisgets your gears turning on, you
(50:23):
know, how is the Holy Spiritlike pouring out, flowing out
that cup overflowing into myfriendships Yeah.
As we're pursuing a deeperrelationship with him.
So thank you so much, Megan, forchatting with us today.
Of course.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah, well we love you guys.
Have a great day.
Bye.
Bye.
(50:44):
Friends.
I am so glad that you could joinme and Megan on the show this
week.
And I loved looking at thesefruits of the spirit and how we
can see them blessing ourfriendships.
When we are leaning into ourrelationship with him.
If you have loved this series,would you tell a friend about
the podcast this week?
Just shoot her a DM with a postfrom social or a text, her and
(51:04):
episode link and ask if shelistens so that you guys can
talk about it.
The next time you hang out.
My prayer for this series isthat it not only gets you
thinking, but that it gets youengaging in these kinds of
conversations with your ownfriends on your couch or across
the table from them or on yournext hike.
And because I know how busysummer can get as you're out
doing all those things as summercomes to a close, make sure that
(51:27):
you've subscribed to the podcastwherever you listen, so that you
don't miss an episode.
You can also sign up to part inmy newsletter crews so that you
get a weekly preview directly toyour email inbox of what will be
on the podcast that week.
Just visit your sisterkimber.com and you can subscribe
there.
Friends.
Thank you so much for spendingpart of your day with us until
next time.
It's your sister Kimber.
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